#so proud of hux and kylo for making it this far

[ncarnesir]

Vote Hux as the hottest man of SW, he needs your help!

Listen this is the HOTTEST STAR WARS MAN CONTEST so I think it disqualifies a few people here...

I love Din, Cassian and Obi-Wan but they're NOT HOT, they're super super COOL:

Those are the true HOT men (still enlisted) of SW :

And once again Hux is the one facing elimination so support your boy for one more round!

[nosecrinklewrites]

this is the thread the previous ask was about. i've always dreamt about turning my threads into proper fics. until then, i'm posting it here.

pairing: kylux

wordcount: 3473

cw: bad bdsm practices

link to original thread on twitter

---

hux owns a private bdsm club. he's older, doesn't take on subs anymore. enter kylo (new in town). he applies for a membership, gets in, wants a dom. there's a big selection, but of course it's the owner who catches his eye. hux is around most of the time, but rarely takes part in play. these days he spends his time making sure everyone is safe, that security and monitors are doing their job properly. hux runs a tight ship.

it doesn't stop kylo.

even though everyone tells him it's a fruitless endeavor, kylo tries anyway. he puts a lot of effort into his appearance, only takes part in play when he knows hux is nearby, makes it known that he's available and looking for a dom.

kylo's first victory comes when a guy tells him he got a new paddle he'd like to try out; would kylo like to help him out? kylo says yes before he's even checked if hux is around (he's always down for getting spanked). hux watches stoically from the sidelines. he catches kylo's eyes a couple of times. his face doesn't show anything, but kylo would like to think hux is impressed. kylo can take a beating and is proud of the fact; he hopes hux is too. even if hux isn't impressed, the guy with the paddle is. kylo is rewarded with grateful pets when they're done. praise doesn't do much for kylo when he doesn't know if it's genuine, but he appreciates it none the less.

hux is gone by the time paddle guy is done petting him.

his body looks fine the way it is, but kylo puts in some extra work outs. he's been told in the past that the bigger he is, the hotter it is that he submits so willingly. he doesn't know if hux feels the same, but it can't hurt to try.

patience isn't kylo's strong suit, so when nothing happens, he starts to consider other offers. just because hux doesn't pay attention to him, it doesn't mean other people don't.

his first partner is underwhelming, can't take him out of his head at all.

the second is better, but he's too timid for kylo's tastes. kylo needs someone who won't hold back. what's the point of safewords if you keep checking in anyway?

the third is ... the third one is a bad idea. kylo gets a bad vibe from the guy, but gives it a try anyway. he should have stuck with his gut. kylo safewords, but it takes a couple of times for the guy to react to it. his face is one of his hard limits. they talked about it beforehand, but the guy doesn't respect it.

going back to the club with bruises on his face isn't a great feeling; not when he has to face the people who warned him about the guy. kylo is visibly affected, but he decides to hang around anyway. if he'd quit the first time someone broke his trust, he wouldn't have lasted a week. it's not the first time and it won't be the last.

he hangs back and takes it easy for a while. kylo was sort of waiting for his bad luck to hit; it usually does. he figures the guy is it, but he should have known it would get much, much worse than that. hux decides now is the perfect time to introduce himself. or rather, that's what kylo thinks is about to happen. evidently word travels fast and hux pulls kylo aside, asks about the bruises. bruises aren't unusual, far from it, but hux's experience shows through. he can tell kylo isn't happy about them, asks how he got them, who did it. kylo doesn't like ratting people out and brushes it off, insists that these things happen.

hux disagrees.

kylo doesn't think hux is doing it on purpose, but he can't help but cower at hux's prodding. kylo blurts the name of the guy and hux catches himself at the outburst; steps back and apologises. he didn't mean to be forceful, but the club belongs to him and he's not going to sit by while members of his club assault each other. since they're alone, hux allows himself to show how rattled he is. he apologises again and explains that he's had his suspicions, but didn't want to throw the guy out without good reason. he also belatedly realises he never introduced himself and offers his hand to kylo. it's not the way kylo had hoped hux would touch him for the first time, but he's a little overwhelmed none the less; especially when hux tells him he wants to know if anything like it happens again.

kylo fights it, but he tears up a little bit, nods and promises to let hux know. kylo's luck continues to fucking suck. hux doesn't just walk away and ignore kylo being weepy. instead he asks if kylo is alright, if the encounter was worse than he lets on. teary eyed kylo has to admit it's not about the guy, but hux's attention and regard for his wellbeing. after a few moments of kylo sniffling, yet pretending he's not and generally being pretty fucking pathetic, hux says, "he didn't take proper care of you, did he?"

hux is blocking the only exit and kylo is about to have a full on meltdown. he blubbers something about being fine - he's perfectly fine! really! but hux isn't an idiot. he tells kylo he'd like to help, in any way that he can. how can kylo say no to that? so, he finds himself being led down a corridor and through a door with an "employees only" sign. hux takes him to his office. his own personal, private office. it has a sign on the door AND the desk, with his name on it. he offers kylo his desk chair, not the one in front of it. the leather squeaks as kylo sits down. hux hands him a tissue from one of the drawers and sits on the desk, waits patiently for kylo to clean up. kylo feels incredibly pathetic. he's a grown man, he's been punched in the face numerous times, this isn't any different.

"what can i do?" hux asks softly. kylo insists that this is fine, he doesn't need anything, but hux isn't so easily fooled. "what do you like to do to come down? what helps you?" kylo shrugs and is generally useless, so hux starts from the top; lists everything he can think of. when hux mentions kneeling, kylo makes an involuntary sound. hux smiles a little, says, "yeah? i'm afraid i'm a bit out of practice, but i'd be happy to have you kneel for me. if you want."

kylo is out of his seat and on his knees before hux is done talking. the desk is not ideal, hux is sitting much too high up. kylo rests his face against hux's knees, holds his calves in his hands. his posture is terrible, it can't be pleasing to look at, but kylo doesn't care. hux's slacks are silky soft in his hands and he can finally breathe.

"that bad, huh?" hux says and asks if he can touch him. kylo nods against his knees, and hux gently puts a hand on the crown of kylo's head. kylo is instantly reminded why the bad experiences are worth it. he'd happily be bruised for the rest of his days if it meant he got to have this. hux isn't doing much, just moving his fingers a bit, but kylo can feel him all around. hux's presence is tangible in the room, all around kylo's body. hux feels larger than life.

"i will never understand why people mistreat subs," hux says softly, mostly to himself. "even brats are sweet as can be when you know what makes them tick." kylo makes a low sound to convey that he's listening. hux runs his fingers through the front of kylo's hair. "are you a brat, kylo?" he hums.

kylo doesn't want to, but he raises his head, blinks up at hux. "no, sir," he mutters and hides his face again. hux laughs, but kylo can't tell which part he's laughing at. kylo isn't well behaved, but he doesn't consider himself a brat. hux lets him kneel in silence for a while.

"we can move, if you'd like? there's a sofa," he eventually says and gestures over his shoulder.

kylo thinks it over, asks, "what are we gonna do on the sofa?"

"what would you like to do?"

it feels like a trap. no dom has ever given kylo what he wanted just because he asked for it. "do i have to crawl there?"

once again, hux turns it around, "would you like to?"

kylo shakes his head. "the floor's too hard; my knees aren't that great."

"we'll walk, then," hux says easily and reaches down, hands moving to kylo's armpits. (for a wild second, kylo thinks hux will attempt to pick him up like a toddler.) hux makes kylo lean back, away from his legs, and makes him sit upright; offers his hands. kylo's brain doesn't quite compute, so they hold hands for a second, while kylo just blinks up at him.

at least hux finds it amusing rather than irritating. he smiles and says, "up you go, big boy, come on," and pulls gently. the sofa is both exciting and terrifying. kylo isn't quite sure he's clear headed enough to make decisions. he feels sluggish, both because of the crying and the unexpected proximity to hux.

at least hux seems to know what he's doing. kylo has a hard time keeping his head up, so hux cups his face, strokes his cheeks. "would you like to lie on my lap?" he asks.

kylo glances to the sofa and back. he hadn't planned on getting spanked today, but if that's what hux wants.

he nods and waits while hux sits down. hux pats his lap and kylo lies down. hux sits too close to the armrest for kylo to comfortably lie down, but he tries anyway. he's barely settled before hux exclaims, "oh, no, no, darling, no – i meant your head. i want your head on my lap."

kylo frowns over his shoulder, "what?"

hux tries to make kylo turn over, move down the sofa, but physically moving kylo isn't easily done. "lie down, please?"

kylo reluctantly moves, still not understanding what is happening. "do you want my mouth?" hux sighs and cups kylo's face again. "kylo, i'm not asking for sex. i would like for you to lie down, put your head on my thigh and let me pet you for a bit. would that be alright?"

it's a weird thing to ask for when they haven't fucked or anything, but kylo complies anyway. as he lies there and tries to get comfortable, it strikes him just how big the sofa is. hux must have bought it big enough for him to nap comfortably. he looks at the ceiling for half a second before he decides he hates it and rolls over, smushes his face into hux's belly instead.

hux waits until he's sure kylo has stopped moving. "are you done?" he asks, amusement clear in his voice.

"sorry," he muffles into hux's shirt.

"it's alright," hux replies. "you're just a bit big to be a lap dog, is all."

kylo can feel his stupid ears turn red. hux brushes his hair back behind his ear, runs the pad of his finger along the shell of it. it feels hot like burning when hux's chill fingers touch it. thankfully, he quickly moves on and pets kylo hair instead, like he said he would.

it takes kylo an embarrassing amount of time to relax properly. he can't help but be hyper aware of hux's dick being right under his head. it would be so easy for himself or hux to turn his head down.

the repetitive movement of hux stroking his hair is eventually enough for kylo to relax. hux's clothes smell really good, the room is quiet, hux isn't asking him to do anything – kylo almost dozes for a bit.

"god, i missed this," hux whispers. maybe he thinks kylo's asleep or maybe he doesn't care that he hears it. it makes kylo's chest hurt a little, he can hear how heartfelt it is. he didn't give much thought as to why hux doesn't have subs anymore; figured he just didn't want to.

"missed what?" kylo carefully whispers back.

hux's hand stops moving for a second, before going back to petting kylo. "taking care of someone," he says softly.

"you mean you've done this before? the--" kylo gestures to his hair and the desk.

"of course," hux smiles and strokes kylo's cheek with the back of his fingers. "i take care of what's mine."

"what about sex?"

"what about it?"

"do you do that before or after the ... the 'taking care of'?"

hux furrows his brows. "i always do it after sex, but i like to do it without sex being involved at all, too."

kylo doesn't understand, exactly, but he keeps his mouth shut. bdsm is a sex thing; it always comes back to sex.

hux runs his thumb along the bruise on kylo's cheekbone, applies pressure until it hurts and kylo flinches. kylo glances up at him. "who told you it has to hurt?"

"it's sort of implied, isn't it?"

hux puts his head in his hand, breathes slowly and deeply for a moment. "explain."

"i mean," kylo says, bites his lip, tries to get his words in order. "spanking always hurts. getting tied up pinches and hurts, too. i guess kneeling doesn't have to hurt, but i've got bad knees, so it does for me."

a vein starts to pulse in hux's temple and kylo stops talking. it's unnerving that hux isn't looking at him when he speaks.

"do you like when it hurts? does it bring you pleasure?"

kylo doesn't know how to answer that. it's not about the sub, is it? the doms do what they enjoy and the subs are just along for the ride, aren't they?

hux lowers his hand and looks at kylo. "i'll take your silence as a no."

"i like getting spanked?" kylo tries.

"we all do, sweetheart. doesn't mean you're a masochist."

kylo feels very stupid and very small and not very good at all. he tucks his face back into hux's belly. hux cups the back of his head and lets him stay there. kylo doesn't understand why hux is so patient. kylo loves these in between moments during play, when he gets to kneel or be petted or just lie on his dom for little bit, but no one has ever let him do it for this long before. and hux said he didn't want sex! the whole thing is very confusing. everyone he's talked to says that hux is an amazing dom and has so much experience with bdsm - but this isn't bdsm at all! he's just petting and holding kylo! maybe it's a weird kind of bdsm kylo doesn't know?

"kylo, i ... this is wildy inappropriate and i apologise, but i would like to ask you to cease looking for a dom," hux says. "i don't think it's safe."

startled, kylo peeks up at him, "why?"

"please don't take this the wrong way, but you don't know what you're doing. there's nothing wrong with that, we all have to start somewhere, but i can't vouch for every single dom in my club. you need someone experienced, someone to guide you," he says softly. "you being as submissive as you are, i don't want anyone to take advantage of that and hurt you," once again, he brushes the bruise on kylo's cheek, "not more than you already have been."

one of the buttons of hux's dress shirt is right at eye level and kylo pulls on it, pops it out of the button hole. "maybe you could do it," he says quietly. "be my dom."

hux's mouth turns down a little. "it's been a long time for me. i'm not sure i'm the right person anymore."

"what if i want you anyway?" kylo asks. he gets a couple of fingers inside hux's shirt, before hux stops him and pulls them back out.

"i'm a busy man, kylo."

kylo reaches for the next button on hux's shirt, pulls it open. "what if i'm really quiet?" he puts his nose through the opening in the shirt, nuzzles against the soft skin of hux's belly. "i'll just be in your office, waiting for you. you don't even have to pay attention to me."

hux threads his fingers through kylo's hair, tugs gently. "that's not even a little bit true," he laughs. "you need attention like breathing. don't think i haven't noticed you before, kylo. you're a loud and demanding little thing, aren't you? greedy." the tone of hux's voice; he says 'greedy' like other people say 'beautiful'.

kylo salivates. "please? i'll make it worth it," he begs, nips at hux's skin.

"you're making it really hard to say no, you know," hux groans, but doesn't do anything to stop what kylo is doing. hux sinks deeper into his seat, makes more room for kylo. he keeps petting his hair, but complains about kylo's manners. "you've had doms before, haven't you? why didn't any of them teach you how to behave?"

"many have tried," kylo says, embarrassed, "but i'm not good at following instructions."

"problems with authority?" hux guesses.

kylo sits up instead of replying, dislodges hux's hand. he opens more buttons and pulls the shirt tails out of hux's slacks. "being disciplined doesn't work very well with you, does it?"

hux is still wearing his jacket, so kylo can't do much. he pulls hux's shirt open and pauses.

"you're pierced."

"i am," hux says simply, eyes still on kylo's face. "no one's ever tried to understand you, have they?"

"what's there to understand?" kylo asks absently and touches one of the nipple piercings. "a sub's a sub."

"what? no! kylo, what the--" hux takes a deep breath, calms down before he goes on. "i thought archie might be an option for you, but holy-- this is way above his paygrade."

kylo pouts, "did i say something wrong?"

"no, honey, no, it's not your fault," hux assures him (and pulls kylo's fingers away from his nipples, puts them on kylo's lap).

"who's archie?"

"cardinal. he's been talking about you for months."

"good things?"

hux smooths the hair off of kylo's forehead. "very good," he smiles. "he asked me for advice. he's been subbing for a long time, but he's a switch and wanted to get back into being a dom. he asked about you, but i don't know you, so i recommended some i do know."

"i didn't know you did that kind of thing," kylo mutters.

hux nods, holds kylo's fidgeting hands. "i like being involved. i know almost everyone here. i approve all the memberships myself."

"is that why you don't want a sub?"

hux looks pinched for a moment. "it's not that i don't want one, but i don't think it's fair to them. i would feel awful taking on a sub, knowing i might neglect them because of my work."

kylo's pout deepens. he really wanted it to be hux. kylo thought hux was one of those cold, severe doms who knows what they want and won't settle for anything less than perfection. kylo is very much into that, but now that he has spoken to him, hux is not like that at all! he's everything kylo didn't know he wanted.

hux nudges his chin and kylo looks up. "you'll find someone. i promise. i'll keep my eye out, if you want? help you look."

"but i want you."

”kylo.”

"i know," kylo says hastily. "i know you're busy, but whatever time you have, i'll take it. please?"

hux sighs again, runs his fingers through his hair, makes an attempt to button his shirt. "it's really not a lot. i'm here late, almost every night."

kylo takes over, buttons the shirt for him. "i'll find a hobby, it's ok."

"alright," hux chuckles and sits up. "on one condition."

kylo perks up, but forces the hopeful feeling in his chest down. "anything."

"if you feel neglected, you tell me, and i'll do what i can to find someone else for you."

the moment stretches between them until kylo whispers, "what are you saying?"

hux takes kylo's hand where it rests on his thigh, brings it to his lips, and kisses kylo's knuckles. he smiles softly and winks, "you got yourself a dom, sweetheart."

[noiriarti]

The Arrangement: Armitage Hux x Reader (College AU) Ch. 5

Summary: A cuddle-buddies-to-lovers college AU.

AN: second to last chapter!! i was activated like a sleeper agent and wrote this in a fugue state at 2 am. it is also 3.5k words. hope you like it! i am going to put this man through a juicer like he's an orange!

Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, [Ch. 5], Ch. 6

Chapter 5: Yogurt

After his revelation, Armitage started feeling guilty. It was in the rules, wasn't it, that you had to be honest with one another? That he had to come clean? But if he told you, you might pull away. Stop staying over. Or, worse, stop being his friend. That was unthinkable, so he kept his mouth shut. Meanwhile, you were thinking the same thing.

He was everything you wanted: proud, smart, reliable, strong, and, beneath it all, kind. Sweet. You'd pick him in a room of the hottest men on the planet a million times over. When you'd started your arrangement, you'd known him, sure, but you hadn't known him. What made him tick. What he wanted out of life. Watching him talk about how much he loved doing research in a neurochem lab, describing his experiments and the machines he used, you had slowly started peeling back the layers of his shell.

You just hadn't expected some of your discoveries to be so sad. Behind the facade of the dry humor and the insults he could hurl at Kylo in a heartbeat, he was so soft and delicate that it made your heart ache. You heard a bit about his father, when he would let some story slip. He told you once, when he was drifting off and let his guard down, that his father always found him lacking. That he could never be good enough. Useless and pathetic. Brendol Hux was a neurosurgeon with a god complex almost as large as his bank account, and he wasn't afraid of reminding Armitage exactly how he had misstepped that week. You suspected Brendol was physically abusive too, but you didn't want to ask Armitage. Not when he was so reticent to bring him up in the first place. The rest of his home life was bleak too. His stepmother, Maratelle, was calm, but distant. Armitage wasn't hers, as far as she was concerned. If she did speak to him, it was some remark about what he was eating, or his posture.

He was so proper, so deeply self-controlled, in every aspect of his day. His daily calendar was exacting, and often so overstuffed you felt anxious just looking at it. He did everything when he was supposed to do it, like clockwork. You could practically set your watch by his breakfast routine or his study sessions. That self-control was probably why  he never did anything that was vaguely sexual or romantic during your sessions, more than the inherent romance of how much contact you had. He never tried to kiss you, and, oddly, you found yourself hoping for it. The irony that this whole arrangement started precisely from your desire for no kissing or groping during cuddling wasn't lost on you, but it was different with Armitage.

Lately, though, you had seen a change in him. As he told you about his meetings with his advisors, he brought up a new idea. Clinical psychiatry. He could do research, and explore how brain chemistry worked in the real human body. Evaluate medicines. Really help people, not just now, but in the future. He could help make people better. Or, he could also make new medicines, but he'd need a PhD in chemistry for that. Either way, he was reconsidering his future, and the first person he wanted to tell was you.

A week after her bombshell, seeing no movement in your situation, Gwen casually mentioned one of your neighbors and friends, Finn, was having a party that Friday. That he told her to invite her roommates. You knew Finn from your Intro Compsci class, and he was great. Really sweet, lived with his boyfriend Poe and their friends Rey and Rose. You said you and Armitage would be there, not noticing that you had begun speaking for the two of you as a collective in the past month. After a hard semester, it was time to let loose. To chill a bit. Maybe forget about how much you wanted Armitage. You knew exactly what you would wear, too. 

On Thursday night, you heard raised voices in his room, just for a minute. After he yelled something indistinct, you heard a smash and then silence. Concerned, you knocked on his door. Tap tap tap tap. You didn't bother waiting for him to open the door. Those kinds of boundaries had been crossed a long time ago.

Armitage was on his bed, his head in his hands, shaking in rage. His phone was on the floor against the room, and you realized he had thrown it in anger. Worry clouded you, and you immediately rushed to him, sitting next to him in the dark room. Only the lamp by his bed shone, like it always did when he was expecting you.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you draped your arms over his shaking shoulders, trying in vain to calm him down.

"My father--he. We fought," he choked out. He wasn't crying, but his voice was thick with emotion.

"I'm so sorry. Want to talk about it?" You offered. He hesitated for a moment, but nodded. Millie was hiding under the bed, but peeked her head out at the softness of his voice.

"I brought up my idea to try chemistry--a PhD instead of an MD. Or, at least, to do psychiatry instead of surgery. He didn't like it," he whispered, his voice breaking. A sob bubbled up in his chest, but he kept it pressed deep down. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't.

"He's an asshole. You should be able to do what you want," you told him, rubbing up and down on his arm. Millie crawled into his lap, looking up at him with her large, green eyes. 

"Hey, girl," he whispered to her under his breath, scratching behind her ears, before turning his attention back to you. "It doesn't work like that in my family. If I don't do what he wants, he'll be disappointed and--I don't know." You pulled him down onto the bed so that he was facing the wall, and you were behind him. He hid himself in the wall, curling up until he felt tiny in the space. Like he did when his father yelled at him when he was little. You snaked your free hand over him, pulling him closer and pressing your chest into his back. The exact opposite of what you did the first night you were together.

You laid there for a couple of minutes, just holding him as he processed. In a tiny, tiny voice, so silent you wouldn't have caught it if the room wasn't dead quiet, he asked you something.

"Do you think I'll ever stop wanting him to like me?" You crumbled. He was so precious, so sweet. I like you. I love you. You don't need him, your mind echoed. You wanted nothing more than to keep him like this, wrapped up in your arms, until he understood how much he meant to you.

"Armitage, he's your dad. Of course you want him to like you. But he's controlling, and if you spend your whole life chasing what he wants, how will you ever have space for what you want? All your friends know how amazing you are. We know you, who you are, and we love you for it. You would be an excellent psychiatrist, or chemist, or, hell, even a surgeon. What your father wants is irrelevant. What you want should be all that matters." He nodded, but stayed quiet. When he'd had fights like this with his father as a child, they rocked him to his core. He'd hole up in his room for hours, even days, hoping that someone would come looking. That someone would find him and tell him he was okay. That they weren't mad at him. With you, with Gwen, hell, even with Kylo in his life, it felt like there was someone there. Someone to help him keep going when his family was hard. Hearing your words, for the first time after a fight with his father, he started getting angry, but the emotion was short-lived. 

Armitage was trying and failing to ignore he way his body lit up when you said you (all) loved him. He knew it was a general, collective statement, but he let himself believe, just for tonight, that you meant it the way he desperately wanted you to. That you were holding him not as his... whatever this was, but as his girlfriend. The arms of a lover, the embrace of his girl. Tonight, somewhere between the rage at his father and the pain of rejection, he could let himself believe it. It soothed him, and he imagined life with you. Waking up and having cereal, kissing you tenderly over the kitchen table. That would happen when he woke up, he told himself. Because you loved him. Tonight, just tonight, you loved him. He felt so safe in your arms, so happy in his temporary delusion, that he fell asleep almost instantly, but not before he had one final thought. I love you too.

As you felt his arm and body go slack, finally asleep, you drew in closer, resting your head on his back. Gently, you pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade, and hoped he would have sweet dreams, ones where he did what made him happy.

In the morning, he woke before you, as usual, and felt horrendously embarrassed. He should have just told you last night that he needed to study, and that you could see each other tomorrow. Instead, he had shown you something he didn't want to. Did you think less of him? In the harsh light of the morning, his bullheaded, hopeful belief that that you loved him seemed laughable. Silly, even. Pathetic. The anger toward his father was all that was left in his heart, the sadness having morphed into something vengeful overnight.

Not to mention the fact that he was definitely in breach of your arrangement. He was not being honest with you about how he felt, and it was time to talk to you about ending this, for both your sakes. You rooming situation was complicated enough as it was, he didn't need to add his stupid crush into the mix. What if it made you uncomfortable? How could he justify his presence in your arms every night when his motive was something sinister. To get in your pants, like some freak. Pathetic. He shook away his father's voice. But he had to tell you how he felt, before one of you got hurt.

He extricated himself from you as best he could and dragged his sorry ass into the kitchen. Even though she was usually across campus at this time, Gwen stood in the kitchen, eating some pizza directly from the fridge. He threw her a greeting and pulled out his tub of Greek yogurt, which he instantly noticed was too light. It was nearly empty, and he hadn't bought a new one. Useless. He tossed the container in the garbage with unnecessary force, startling Gwen on the other side of the kitchen.

Sheepishly, he picked it out of the garbage. It was a recyclable. As he dutifully washed it out, his anger grew. The scalding water burned his hands, but the bite of it focused him. Whatever his failings last night, he had drawn one correct conclusion. He couldn't let his father dictate his every move. He could get what he wanted from him, and then leave his father alone the way he had done to Armitage for so many years. Once he had tossed out the container, he texted his father. I have decided I would like to pursue medical school. He didn't expect a response, really. But he knew that his father would read it. All that really mattered was his father paying for his education. After that, Brendol couldn't control his specialty, or residencies. He was going to be a clinical neurochemist, damnit, and his father couldn't stop him. His father probably wouldn't even notice.

Not that he didn't still fear his father, or that he suddenly stopped yearning for a "I'm proud of you, son," from him. But, he accepted with a resigned bitterness, that would probably never come. And when he wanted that approval, or affection, or anything, he had you. And Gwen and Kylo. And Millie. And that was enough, for now. But it really meant he couldn't fuck it up with you. If he lost you, and then his other roommates got weirded out, he wasn't sure where he'd turn. The guilt would eat him alive for ruining something so precious by thinking with his dick.

"You good?" Gwen asked him, noticing his outwardly unhinged behavior.

"Yeah, just. Parents," he mustered, and she nodded.

"I get it. I'm here, if you want to talk." He was touched, and nodded at her. Maybe he could really do this, rely on his little circle. They lapsed into silence again.

"You know, you should really do something about your feelings," Gwen remarked as she took a bite of her pizza. She knew him well enough to read the moment of panic that was covered by a schooled look of calm.

"What are you talking about?" Casual. Smooth. Unbothered.

"Your feelings. You know. Just tell her. Please. You are taking years off my life," she said as she rolled her eyes and stalked out of the kitchen. He was left standing there, letting his jaw drop when she turned her back. Shit, he needed to end the arrangement. If he was being this obvious, and you noticed, you'd surely feel betrayed that he didn't tell you. That he withheld something like that from you for months when you both explicitly agreed not to. He needed to talk to you, stat.

The only problem was that there was a party that night. He saw Gwen in leather pants and a silver top, and he instantly connected the dots. It was Friday. Shit. He threw on a button up, which he rolled up to his elbows, and passable slacks. Whatever. He didn't intend to stay longer than an hour, and then he had to find you and talk to you. When he left his room, Kylo was next to Gwen, wearing an oversized black bomber jacket over a black shirt and black jeans. The guy certainly had a look, Armitage had to give him that.

"Okay, I'm ready!" You called from the hallway.

The dress hugged your curves in ways that made his mouth water, accentuating all the parts of you that he tried to deny existed. He traced the expanse of your legs with his gaze, all the way from your heels up to the hem of your skirt. Before looking you in the eye, he stopped and admired your collarbone, and the faintest bit of glitter you had rubbed on it. And the curve of your neck. Gods, he could write a book about it. You had pinned your hair back in some way that he found baffling, but managed to make your features sharper, more dangerous.

So, basically, he thought you looked hot. The dress, in truth, was a bit too small. It rode up on the bottom, and the top kept slipping down whenever you lifted your arms. But no one, even you, could deny that you looked like a total smokeshow in it.

Gwen gave Armitage three seconds to process and internally drool before she started ushering you and Kylo through the door and down the hall to Finn's place. Outside your room, the bass from the party echoed through the walls, and the air was just a bit muggy from the swarm of people inside their living room. You and Gwen dashed off to greet Finn, leaving Kylo and Armitage, God help him, to mingle. Kylo made eye contact with him, and they both instantly headed to the drinks. Armitage fought his way through the crowd, feeling the pulse of the beat and the sweat in the air. After bumping into a couple almost making out, he murmured an apology and kept winding his way to his goal. Kylo just barreled through the dancing bodies, not even apologizing for almost knocking over a rather tipsy girl and her friend. Finally, they reached the kitchenette, which gave them a decent view of the entire living room, crammed full of drunk people. Armitage immediately searched the room for you, ready to find you and tell you that, actually, this was a mistake, and he wanted to go home now please. After about a minute (and a shot that Kylo had shoved in his face), he found you, with Gwen, talking to Finn. And then, oh joy of joys. 

Who would join you guys but Mitaka? Little Dopheld with his little crush on you? Armitage sneered in his direction. Not that he had any right to be possessive, he admitted. But still. Armitage was not leaving any time soon. He'd stay here until you left. Mitaka approached you, waving as the three of you added him into the conversation. Kylo had gone off to hang out with one of his acquaintances from the swim team--some tall girl with brown hair and freckles--leaving Armitage alone to seethe in the kitchen. He watched as you and Gwen laughed at something hilarious Mitaka had said. Awesome. Great. Then, the four of you turned to one of the bedrooms, and slipped into it. You lagged behind, searching the room for something. When you spotted Armitage, you waved at him, beckoning him across the oppressively loud room with a hand. He dove back into the crowd, pushing past groups of friends and couples and strangers as he found his way back to you. You cast him a smile that made the anger gripping him loosen just a bit. When you grabbed his hand and started dragging him into the bedroom, he melted, leaving his frustration behind.

The room had its floor cleared, with all the people in the room sitting in a large circle, or, rather, a lopsided oval. He wasn't quite sure why, or what was going on (Cult intiation? Drinking game?), but you sat down next to Gwen, pulling Armitage next to you. He dug his fingers into the thin, scratchy carpet when Mitaka and Gwen switched places, putting Mitaka directly to your left. Perfect. He shot a murderous look at Gwen, who had on a shit-eating grin. She knew what she was doing, and Armitage vowed to crush all her protein bars and unscrew her showerhead the next morning. Across the circle, he heard Kylo's distinct chuckle, and turned to give him the same violent look.

It appeared that they were playing some game, the exact rules of which weren't explained. Was it spin the bottle? A handsome man, Poe, he surmised from the way Finn was looking at him, spun the bottle, and it landed on Kylo. Kylo then crawled into the center and spun it. Anticipation filled the room as the light glinted over the edges of the bottle once, twice, thrice. It slowed, landing on that girl from the swimming team. Rey something. Would they kiss? That'd mean this was spin the bottle. Armitage wondered absently, his eyes still focused on you and Mitaka. Instead of just a chaste kiss, Kylo stood up and pulled Rey into the walk-in closet with a devilish grin. Ah. Seven minutes in heaven. Classic.

But fuck, you were playing. Which meant you could get into a closet with any one of these random people. Or, with a probability of 1/13, you could get him. That thought made his skin flush. You and him, in a dark closet. He imagined your hands trailing everywhere, exploring the parts of each other that your arrangement prohibited. Your skin, warm under his as he kissed along your neck. A series of cheers interrupted his fantasy, as he watched Kylo and Rey stumble out of the closet with matched blown pupils and dazed smiles. He whispered something to her, and she smiled. The pair made their exit when the crowd's cheers died down, and their attention had been drawn by the next victims. Armitage realized that the probability that you would kiss him, or do anything else except stand there awkwardly, if you were chosen, was so slim it was laughable. Pathetic, a voice echoed. Poe spun the bottle again, and Armitage started to wonder how many more spins it would take for you to get bored and finally leave so that the two of you could go home. Another spin, another couple. Mitaka whispered something to you which made you grin wolfishly, some piece of gossip that lit up your eyes. Armitage bristled. Just one more spin, and then he'd suggest leaving. Poe's hand spun the bottle, and Armitage was too busy looking at you and trying to estimate whether Mitaka was closer to you than he was, when the bottle made its choice.

It was you. You looked up at Poe, seeming to have forgotten the fact that you were playing in the first place. You glanced at Armitage, your features tightly drawn in nervousness, as you crawled to the center of the floor and spun the bottle. The bottle's glass made soft noises as it brushed against the carpet. Shk shk shk shk shk. Armitage counted the spins, 5 so far, and mentally calculated that 1/13 meant a 7.7% chance it would land on him, odds that he realized he probably wouldn't beat. Behind his back, he crossed his fingers, with one hand at first, but then with both hands. Shk shk shk. The bottle was slowing, creeping around the circle. He found himself praying. To whom, he wasn't sure. But he was praying. Shk shk. The bottle was barely turning, and, to his delight, it was turning toward him. Slowly, but surely, he was looking down the neck of the bottle. But then it kept going. Right past him, right past you.

And it landed on Mitaka.

Motherfucker.

[ablogcalledrevenge]

Potential (A General Hux x Reader Insert Multi-Chapter Fic, Rated M)

AO3 Link

Chapter Twelve

“And she’s so powerful Master, perhaps even more than the scavenger. She’s completely untrained but I could help hone her skills. It’s just so strange to me that I wasn’t able to sense it.” Kylo finishes, breathing heavily in his excitement. 

While the most important part was that you had this new power to learn and wield, Kylo was also secretly pleased that he would no longer be alone. The Force was a very isolating thing, especially for those more in tune with the Dark Side. Knowing there was someone else who could understand his feelings and struggles was comforting. Plus, it would be fun to mess around with Hux.

“Of course you weren’t able to sense it boy, I didn’t want you to.” Snoke says, interrupting his daydreams. Silence fills the chamber and it echoes. 

“You knew? The whole time? Why didn’t you say anything? Is that what you spoke to her about that night?” Kylo asks, growing more and more angry. Snoke just watches with mild bemusement, like Kylo is a small child getting mad that his parent lied about having sweets.

“We could’ve been helping her this whole time! She got hurt, Supreme Leader, she was in agony! We could’ve stopped that and stopped Pryde. She could’ve died and then Palpatine would be back!” Kylo shouted at his Master, feeling the slow, slimy crawl of darkness fill him up.

“Oh come now boy, do you really think Pryde’s pathetic plan would have worked? It was flawed from the start and lacking in past proven success. While the Light Side allows those who’ve passed to communicate with others still living, the Dark Side, especially that of a Sith, deals in absolutes. Death is death. He let his desire for power blind him to common sense.”

“Then why did we not stop him earlier and prevent the waste of time and resources? Why Master? Why put us through this?” He responds looking up at Snoke. Since the attack on Exegol, the Supreme Leader had made a visit to the Finalizer. Normally he has guards around him at all times, imposing figures dressed in all red. But he is alone, alone with Kylo.

Despite being old and sallow, he intimidated Kylo. He felt cowed in his presence, like an animal trying to hide in the corner of a cage. Clearly his Master knew more than he let on and deemed Kylo unworthy of the information.

“Because I needed to know where your loyalties lie!” Snoke roared, standing up from his throne. His student recoiled back.

“I am loyal to you Master, you know this! Ever since I was a child when you called to me. Why would I betray you? Your goals are my goals and I seek to serve you and learn from you. I wish to make you proud.” Kylo pleaded.

“Do you think I am blind Master Ren, or perhaps that I am merely stupid? Do you think I didn’t see the way you trailed after that insipid girl like a lost dog? Did you think that I was unaware of the relationship that started with the General? I’ve known the whole time and your behavior has been an embarrassment.” Snoke sneered, returning to his seat. He fumed for a moment, his already thin lips pulling tighter in fury.

“I am aware of General Hux’s desires for power and glory and before I found them easily managed. But now, his wife, like all vile women I’ve come to know, has poisoned his mind. She inflates his ego and aids his progress in a way that concerns me. She may bat her eyes and act innocent but she is vicious. Her goals far outweigh the General’s and I have no doubt that should he prove useless, she will get rid of him. Did you think yourself so special that she would treat you differently?” He continues, drumming his long, skeletal fingers on the arm of his chair.

“… What?” Kylo whispers into the still air of the chamber. One would think they were all frozen statues with how little they moved. No breeze ruffled their robes. No speck of dust floated through the air. The large chamber, despite being practically empty, felt like a vacuum.

A look of pity crossed Snoke’s face before morphing into a twisted attempt at glee. Not because he was trying to be kind and spare Kylo’s feelings, but more because such a pleasant expression had never graced his sunken face before.

“I don’t believe it. I thought you were smarter than that. Did you really think they liked you? That she meant all the things she’s been whispering in your ear? She chose you from the start to be a pawn in her game and your fate will probably go the way of all the other people she’s killed.”

Kylo made an odd choking noise he’d never heard himself make before.

“Are you truly that braindead? Did you think those deaths were all coincidences? She might have painted a pretty picture for the unwashed masses but I thought I’d trained you better than that. She wants to usurp me and our Brotherhood. She wants to dismantle the First Order and take everyone down with it.”

“You’re wr-wrong.” Kylo stammered out, his face red with shame. The hot slide of the Force turned to ice in his veins. Snoke scoffed.

“She doesn’t love you Kylo. Neither of them do. They are monsters, incapable of love. And you are too. I allowed this indiscretion to go on for a time, seeing how the passion made you stronger in your fighting. But now it’s gone too far. Love is for children and imbeciles! They are using you! They laugh at you when you leave them, thinking they’ve deceived you. They think they’ve deceived me!” He shouted, once again stepping off his platform and down towards Kylo.

Kylo’s vision was clouding, and Snoke’s words echoed in his ears. He started to look back on every interaction, examining them in a new light. He went over every kiss, every touch, every look for something sinister. Was it true? Was he that weak to jump at the chance of affection, even at his own risk?

The room felt like it was getting smaller, squeezing in on him. Snoke started to poke at his thoughts, paint them red and reveal the truth. The pain was immense and brought Kylo back to his childhood, crying under his bed after a scolding from his mother. Snoke had been there too, showing him the truth of his mother’s feelings. He showed him her disdain and her regrets. He showed him all the secret thoughts she had about her son. All through his life, Snoke had been there, molding him into the fierce warrior he was now.

And Kylo had failed.

The shame brought him to his knees. He had allowed himself to be lied to and manipulated. He had allowed simple pleasures of the flesh to override his devotion to the Force. Once again, he had tried to please his Master, bring more over to the Dark Side, and he had crashed and burned.

As humiliating as it was, he could move on from the scavenger. The Force was strong within her, but the Resistance had gotten to her first. She would be a worthy opponent.

But this, this cut him deep. This was no longer an issue of his pride or his teachings. This involved his heart. His distraction had nearly cost him his life.

Snoke approached him, the gold fabric of his robe coming into view. A cold hand rested gently on Kylo’s head.

“Your behavior has been disgraceful but not unexpected. You always did have a hard time removing your feelings from the situation. That’s why I’m here. To help you when you falter in your duties. She has used you and now must be stopped. You’ve been ignoring your work long enough. You must return to your mission and find Luke Skywalker.” Snoke said, his voice quiet and calm. Kylo sniffed and stared at the floor.

Then the hand petting his head stopped, and though Snoke removed his grip, Kylo still felt his head wrenched up. Kylo was eye to eye with his Master and as much as he wanted to look away, he could not move.

“You know what to do Kylo Ren, you know how to stop this. You can never complete your training if you allow others to manipulate you. Use the Force and follow your path. Show your loyalty and kill those who stand in your way.” Snoke declared, loosening his phantom grip and letting Kylo fall to the floor like a doll.

The edge of his lightsaber cut into his hip and his hand twitched. He had to speak with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Kylo had left two hours ago, he had sat you down in front of a candle and told you to meditate. You’d focused your breathing like he’d shown you and kept the candle in sight. Kylo had said that meditation would not only help you understand and communicate with the Force but it would also help lessen the pain and lower the volume.

You were both surprised and not to find that he was right. It wasn’t that you thought Kylo was lying about his skills or knowledge, but you were worried that they wouldn’t work for you. No one had realized you were strong with the Force so who’s to say the training would even work? But it was.

The headache you’d had since you woke up in the medbay was receding every day, more so on days you meditated or practiced simple drills. When Kylo made you close your eyes and predict where a levitating ball was -or on one occasion, where he was going to kiss next- you felt proud. 

In those moments you understood and liked the Force. Hux was… well he wasn’t pleased exactly. But he let you and Kylo continue on and didn’t make a fuss. It was clear that he still regarded the Force with some skepticism but seeing the fundamentals being taught helped change his mind a little. The two people he cared most for in the galaxy were Force users, so he might as well just accept it.

So there you sat, legs crossed and breathing slow. The Force lay in front of you like a map, glowing lines intersecting and flowing over each other. There was a line connecting you and Hux, another going from you to outside the room towards Kylo probably, even one connecting Millie to you. And along each line, like the faintest glimmer, was the future. Or the possible future.

You saw worlds collapsing and expanding, empires rising and falling. Your own self seemed so minuscule in the will of the Force. The universe would continue on it’s path, only allowing you choices when it saw fit.

But there was a beauty in that, a release of responsibility. The Force didn’t care about you, it just connected you to others in the universe. So you would not care about it, you would continue as you were and only take nudges when they fit your vision. Still, getting to read people’s minds certainly wouldn’t hurt.

You released your breath and the candle went out, flooding your bedroom into darkness. That was enough introspection for a day. You changed out of your simple pants and shirt into the outfit you were planning on wearing for the evening. You and Hux were meeting a few officers for dinner and you wanted to show off your new dress. The dress was a gorgeous piece; black leather with enticing see through mesh and colorful floral embroidery. 

Glancing at the chronometer, you entered the living room, Millie resting peacefully on the couch while your darling finished his work. You needed to remind him of the time, so he could get ready as well. You still had to put your shoes on, but you would have your darling husband do that. The play at subjugation was always a fun little appetizer for the two of you.

Everything was quiet and easy and your brain relaxed as you waited.

It was into this calmness that Kylo burst in, his robes swirling around him like a storm. You didn’t need to sense his energy crackling around him to tell you he was in a mood. He looked furious and heartbroken and confused all at the same time. You and Hux both remained where you were in shock; him at his desk, you by the couch.

“Kylo, is everything alright?” Hux asked, setting aside his datapad. Kylo didn’t reply and instead removed his outer robe, letting it drop to the floor. His dark gaze bounced around the room, catching on random things and never staying for long. He looked at Hux for a long moment, your husband standing from his chair to perhaps embrace Kylo. But the expression on Kylo’s face made him falter.

Then he looked at you.

The sweet smile you greeted him with slid off your face as you felt yourself lift off the ground. You were being pulled up by your neck, the pressure getting tighter and tighter with each inch you rose.

“Kylo, what’s going on?! What are you doing? Put her down! Stop!” Hux yelled, racing over to Kylo to get him to stop. He pushed at the other man’s body, tried to pull his arm down where it extended in a claw towards you. But Kylo may as well have been a mountain for all that he moved.

Your feet were dangling, toes no longer anywhere near the floor, and your hands in their leather gloves scrabbled at your neck. You could feel Kylo’s grip, clear as any other time he had so lovingly touched your neck. But your fingers scratched at air, your throat convulsing by invisible means.

Tears rolled down your reddening face as you choked out Kylo’s name, begging him to stop. Hux ran to you, hands fluttering with uselessness.

“Kylo stop, please! I don’t understand! Why are you doing this?” He cried, turning pale.

“You lied to me! You were always lying to me! You’ve been using me! You don’t love me, you never have! The Supreme Leader showed me the truth. You used me and as soon as I would’ve  stopped helping you, you would’ve killed me. Killed me like all the others!” Kylo shouted, ignoring Hux entirely.

Your eyes, which had been pleading only moments before, turned hard and steely at the accusation. Seeing the change, and perhaps thinking it a confirmation, Kylo released you.

You dropped into your husband’s arms, gasping and coughing. Hux grabbed a cup of water from the little decanter you kept on the table in front of the couch, pouring you a drink.

“What the kriff are you talking about? We haven’t been lying! Of course we care about you!” Hux told him, his eyes blazing with rage. Yes, he did care about Kylo, but not enough to instantly forgive for almost killing you!

Just like that, an argument started, both men screaming in each other’s faces. Screaming about lies and loyalties and love and betrayal and plans and secrets. Kylo was revealing your plan step by step while Hux, bless him, was justifying it on every turn while attempting to place all the blame on himself. Poor Millie had run towards your bedroom, tail tucked between her legs.

“Enough.”

The word struck like a bell, silencing both men. During their flight you had regained your senses,

standing gracefully in front of the transparisteel window. Your voluminous gown stood out against the navy of space and you touched once at your throat to center yourself. 

“You’re right. That is my plan. I did kill all those people. I’m going to remove Hux’s superiors to place him in a position of authority. A role where no one is above him or controls him. I am going to make him Emperor. That’s all true.” You admit slowly, voice scratchy from the abuse. But it does not waver, even in the face of Kylo’s rage.

Hux lets out a sigh and sinks into one of the armchairs, his hand coming up to rub across his chin. His eyes switch between you and Kylo, worry creasing underneath.

“So you would kill me too? Strike me down if I was in your way?” Kylo sneers.

“Yes. But not anymore. My plans have altered slightly.” You admit with a shrug. Ever since Hux’s accident you’ve allowed yourself some flexibility. While you do want to stick to your goals, now you’ve discovered that some people are more important.

“That doesn’t matter! You still lied to me! You still brought me here to control me and use me! You never cared for me, never lo-loved me!” He shouts, pointing a finger at you.

“Oh grow up Kylo! That’s what love is! Being in love means being used, being controlled. I use Hux, he uses me! Did you think I married him merely for his looks? No, I knew his connections and position in the First Order would suit my goals. He did the same. Sure, I’m a beautiful woman with a sparkling personality but I also had family wealth and connections to Imperial planets. We chose each other for specific reasons and love followed. So to act annoyed because I picked you out first and then came to adore you is childish.”

“It’s true, we weren’t honest about our intentions at first, but is that so awful? You’re part of us now. Would you have come to us had you known the truth? Would you be happier without us? Have we ever treated you poorly, made you feel used?” Hux asked, his voice a calm break between the two of you starting to shout. Kylo started like he forgot Hux was there.

“And furthermore, how did we use you? What did we make you do? What did we ask of you? We kept you away from our plans on purpose. We didn’t want you getting involved.” He adds, a tone of sweetness entering his voice. It’s one that rarely appears but it seems to do the job of soothing Kylo slightly.

“I, I don’t understand. What was your plan for me? You say you chose me but for what? To warm your bed and nothing else? If that were true then why did Snoke confront you? Why involve me and not tell me the truth?” Kylo begs, stepping closer to you, reaching both hands into his hair to pull in frustration.

“Because you need to kill Snoke.”

The air in the room stills as your words land like bombs. Hux sucks in a nervous breath and Kylo drops his hands.

“You would have me kill my Master? Kill the Supreme Leader?” He whispers, as if afraid of saying the words too loud and making them real.

“Hux cannot be Emperor if Snoke rules over him. The Supreme Leader is old and weak and doesn’t care about the actual people he’s ruling over. All he cares about is the Force and eradicating the Jedi.” You reply, the cold expanse of space behind you.

“That is an important and noble cause!”

“Like hell it is! What does it matter if Skywalker still lives? He’s off on some rock somewhere being a recluse! It wasn’t until you started looking for him, on Snoke’s orders, that he became a problem. Snoke told you to try and convert the scavenger to the Dark Side and you failed and now she’s with the Resistance! She’s probably getting trained by Skywalker himself. You did this to yourself! Snoke’s foolhardy desire to get rid of the perceived threat of the Jedi caused the most powerful one to come out of retirement! He’s an idiot and so are you!” You shout, holding up your hand when Kylo tries to interrupt. You take a long sip of your water.

“For years Snoke has sent you on wild hawk-bat chases, going after old men and ghosts. He has diverted money and resources away from the First Order to complete his unnecessary missions. The skills of the Knights of Ren are legendary and he has been wasting them! He is not only wasting your time but your talent! I am only a beginner in the ways of the Force, I admit that, but even I can see that your mind reading skills and athletics are better suited for covert missions and interrogation. Instead you’re off playing hide and seek with people who do not wish to be found.”

“And why? Why Kylo? Why does he send you? Send your knights? If Snoke is so powerful, so wise, why doesn’t he do it? Because to be honest my love, had you failed me as much as you failed him, I wouldn’t keep giving you things to do. He’s distracting you, keeping you busy. He’s occupying your time so you never realize the truth. He gives you impossible tasks and berates you when you falter, pulling at your leash like a feral Neks when you try to do something by yourself. If anyone is using you, it is him, not me.”

Kylo sputters and laughs in a short, disbelieving way. He steps closer to you once more, forcing you to back up against the window, the cool glass making you hiss. Hux stands up from his chair but does not move further, knowing he is out of his depth between you and Kylo.

“If you’re so wise, so all knowing in the Force, ten steps ahead of everyone, then tell me: what is he distracting me from?” His voice is smooth like silk, gliding over your face and neck as he approaches you.

There is something predatory in his eyes, assessing and bright. You do not cower from him though your heart is pounding fast. You wonder if the sound is escaping your chambers, it seems so loud.

“From your true power. From the natural conclusion of your training. From questioning him. You are the Master of the Knights of Ren, and yet where is your authority? What choices are you allowed to oversee?” You explain, raising your hand slowly to rest against Kylo’s chest. Your fingers flex against the hard leather of his tunic.

“I run missions and lead battles all the time. I have plenty of control over myself and my Knights. You know nothing of the work I do for the Supreme Leader. You know nothing of the Dark Side!” He spits back, his eyes searching your face.

“I know more than you realize. You think I’d go into this blind, just doing whatever you tell me? If I’m going to have to deal with the Force, I’m going to learn about it all. True, I haven’t gotten through all of it and I doubt I ever will, but I know about the Light and Dark Sides of the Force. And yet… and yet you are neither.”

You catch your husband’s eye and beckon him forward with your other hand, below Kylo’s waist. He slopes up gracefully hovering near Kylo’s back but not touching.

“Why did Snoke teach you the ways of the Force, grab you away from your childhood and bring you into the Dark Side, and then not allow you to reach your fullest potential? Why refuse the moniker of Sith when that’s so clearly what he is?” You say, dropping your voice down into the register you use in the bedroom. Your hand slides up Kylo’s chest to his neck, playing with the tiny wisps of hair at his nape. Hux joins you, wrapping an arm around Kylo’s waist from behind and bringing the other up to replace yours on his chest. Kylo’s eyes have gone a little hazy, confused in how he got into this position but sinking deeply into serenity. He’s certainly not mad anymore and you’d take it.

“The Dark Side of the Force is rigid and hard to maintain. He wanted more flexibility for himself… and for us.” Kylo murmurs as Hux reaches below his belt and heavy tunic to caress at Kylo’s stomach underneath.

“But he won’t offer you the same flexibility. Why, when you have difficulty with a style or lesson does he not adapt and change? Give you the same kindness he extends to himself.”

A spark of comprehension lights in Kylo’s eyes. Seizing the moment, you quickly grip Kylo’s hair and pull his head back, Hux pushing at his back and legs to get him down on the floor between you. He kneels before you, neck straining from your pull, eyes once again furious. You smile at him, and it is wicked.

“Because the final act of a Sith is to kill their Master.”

Kylo wrenches away from you, a few of his dark hairs still trapped in your fist. He grabs his helmet and cowl by the door.

“You are wrong! My Master is wise in all things and has plans I can’t even conceive of. He has plans for me, he wants to help me. He has been raising me to my true potential since I was a child! I will not kill him!” He shouts and you fear momentarily for anyone passing by. The chambers are mostly sound proof but Kylo has a loud, commanding voice. You raise your voice right back.

“He has been manipulating you since you were a child! He has been hurting you since you were a child! Had you proven a bad student, he would’ve found another. He has never cared for you! If he did, he would’ve left you alone.” You shoot back, surprised to find wetness growing in your vision. Doesn’t he see what he means to you? How you’ve grown and changed?

“Kylo please, I love you so much. We love you and want you with us. We want to save the Galaxy, make it better. We need your help. We need your knowledge and skill and leadership over your knights. When I make Hux Emperor, you shall have freedom to do as you please. You can do whatever you want for us, with us. Snoke would never let you go! That’s why you must kill him. You need to take your rightful place, just like Hux will. It’s what I always wanted for you.” You add, trailing off quietly towards the end. The tears are really falling now and Hux comes to your side, reaching for your hand. 

“At the end of the day, it’s your decision Kylo. But someone is going to die when this ends. It’s your choice who.” Your husband says, his voice clear and his words final.

With that, Kylo gives you one last glare and storms out of your apartment. The door closes quietly behind him. You and Hux remain standing, tears streaming down your face, and hope that you didn’t just ruin everything.

You almost cancel your dinner plans but decide against it. Kylo needs time and you might as well eat a good meal before your death. It’s agony, trying to make friendly conversation while a pendulum hangs over your head, but you are the perfect hostess which means being the perfect guest. You are witty and charming, laughing at jokes and gazing lovingly at your husband. He remains mostly quiet and pleasant, leaving the communication mostly to you.

After a long dinner, you are finally free of company and return to your apartments. Millie has been fed and you both collapse on the couch. Hux pours you both a glass of whiskey and you sip next to each other, dread returning. Kylo doesn’t return after one glass or the next.

Eventually, you go to bed. Neither of you talk much, lying next to each other under the blankets. Hux reaches across the expanse and holds your hand. It makes your heart soar with affection and you kiss him sweetly. Declarations of love get whispered between you and you fall into an uneasy sleep.

You’re only a few hours into the sleep cycle when the front door opens with a beep. As if waiting for a signal, you and Hux spring out of bed. You trail behind Hux as he enters the sitting room, your simple blue nightgown fluttering around you.

Kylo is there, helmet off, lightsaber engaged, and breathing heavily. He stalks towards you and for a moment your head is empty. You are going to die and the realization freezes you in your tracks.

Then he disengages his lightsaber and lets it drop onto the floor with a clang. He extends his arm, previously behind his back, and drops Snoke’s mangled head on the carpet. He looks exhausted, skin pale and drawn. There is blood on his face by his temple. 

Then he falls to the floor as well, both of you reaching forward at the last second to catch him. Blood stains your hands where they press against his chest. Hux quickly removes Kylo’s uniform, inhaling sharply at the sight of blood and gore on his chest. There was a battle clearly and Hux whistles for Messy. The mouse droid zooms over and Hux makes a request for medical supplies. You have some in your chambers but Kylo will probably need more than your paltry supply. He needs to go to the medbay, something Hux keeps saying but Kylo shakes his head.

“I did it, it’s done. Snoke is dead. The Knights have pledged to me and only me. I’m free.” Kylo breathes out, voice scratchy. Hux looks at you in shock. You had hoped that Kylo would choose you, would follow your plan, and now he had.

Snoke was dead. There was nothing standing in your way. Kylo could pronounce The Supreme Leader dead in the morning and Hux could be crowned by the afternoon. It was done, you were finished.

“Kylo, you miraculous boy!” Hux croons, pushing away his sweaty hair and kissing his temple.

While your husband worked on treating Kylo’s wounds, labored breaths and hisses of pain accompanied by soothing nonsense, you sat on the floor in a heap.

All the lying and killing and deceiving could end. You had won. Your plan had worked. Hux was going to be Emperor! Hux… was going to be Emperor…

Kylo’s lightsaber rested by your knee, easily reachable. Snoke’s head lay nearby, his face in a frozen state of shock, eyes gone dim. The men were busy, occupied with other things but within your range. Your hands rested on your lap covered in blood, possibly Snoke’s, maybe Kylo’s. 

Your heartbeat slowed like it always did when you were facing a momentous decision. Your eyes swung back and forth between the lightsaber, the head, and your hands. The voices behind you faded to white noise.

The Force gave you a vision. Paths lighting up and expanding out from your hands.

You had won, your hard work had paid off. All your obstacles were gone. You could have everything you wanted. And more… You could have more. The weapon was in reach and by the time they realized what you were doing, they’d be dead. This was your plan, your idea! They had done their part and you didn’t need them anymore.

But you, you could do more. You could rise higher than thought possible, bringing the Galaxy to it’s knees. They were only men; easily distracted and disposed of. You could kill them now and have it all.

The First Order would obey you, Phasma’s troops falling in line at your show of cunning. The Knights would respect you, ruthlessly taking the opportunity. Men were weak and you were strong. You were better than them, better than everyone! You could be Empress of all, ruling for centuries!

All you had to do was pick up the lightsaber and cut their throats. All you had to do was kill them. It would be easy, they’d barely feel a thing. You could do it without breaking a sweat. You could spin a story to make yourself look good, give yourself deniability. You could become a God, rule the First Order and then the Galaxy!

You could kill them. You could kill them. Kill them. Kill them. Kill them! KILL THEM! KILL THEM!

KILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLKILLKILL

You screamed then, air rushing into your lungs as you fell forward into your lap, bloody hands pushed outward.

“I can’t do it, I won’t do it! Don’t make me, I don’t want to! Get this off me! Get it off! Please, I don’t want to. I love you, I could never, I don’t want to.” You cry out, Hux coming to you and pulling you gently into a more comfortable position against his chest. Kylo, now mostly stable, takes your hands and removes the blood. He is gentle and soft. He knows what you were thinking. 

“Together, together or not at all.” Kylo whispers, placing a reverent kiss on your clean palms. You sniffle and give a shaky smile. The vision fades away, just an idea that passes along.

“You have done so much and done it well, now we can relax and take our place in history. Relax my dear, rest now. It’s done.” Hux says into your ear and you nod, feeling yourself slump further into his embrace.

“It’s done.” You murmur back, repeating the phrase a few times, testing the weight on your tongue. It tastes delicious.

A laugh bubbles up in your chest then, loud and obnoxious. You can’t stop it and it escapes, echoing in the room and startling the men. A beat and then they follow, laughing along with you.

The laughter grows for a moment, a Stormtrooper passing by on patrol hearing it but paying it no mind.

Then it dissipates and the energy in the room settles. Hux lifts you in his arms and carries you back to bed, Kylo trailing behind, fist gently tugging on your nightgown.

You settle into sleep, your husband on one side and your lover on the other, and you drift away into peaceful nothingness. A smile is on your face.

Epilogue Coming Soon!

Tagging: @babbushka, @livy1391, @renaissance-mama, @girl-next-door-writes​, @peqchynero​, @niniita-ah, @the-temple-pythoness​, @cupofmoonlighttea​, @sincerely-cronch​, @potato-ren​, @brujademente​, @ah-callie​, @rosirinoa​, @lwtficrecs​, @theold-ultraviolence​, @mad-hatters-teapot​, @firstordermariposa, @revolution-starter, @shereadsinquiet, @isthisheaven5

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

[enkisstories]

Mutiny on the Steadfast (Ch. 1)

After the battle of Exegol, things are looking good for the Resistance as a whole, but less so for the individual rebels Poe, Finn and Rose, who got captured by the First Order.

To keep the prisoners on their toes and eventually break them, Chief Intelligence Officer Kandia puts them into a cell with the traitor Hux. But she has underestimated both the rebels’ ability to make allies and how far the former General is willing to go to spite anyone who wronged him.

The proud Steadfast being little more than a floating junkyard after Exegol isn’t exactly helping the crew's mood, either. The seed of discontent keeps growing...

(This starts on the same premise as my previous The Wrecking of the Steadfast, but will play out differently. Expect a few faces from the other fic to make a return, though.)

CHAPTER 1: The Stray

Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot…

That was how this was going, on principle anyway. In practice the sequence became “searing pain, right foot, searing pain, right foot”. Their prisoner’s visible discomfort didn’t deter the stormtrooper trio from expeditiously marching him down a floor somewhere on the Steadfast’s administration level, where the First Order High Court resided. The capital ship was, after all, the heart of the nomadic First Order, that hadn’t named a planet or space station their seat of government. It had to be said, though, that for all practical purposes this mobile capital was a health and safety hazard at the moment.

Right foot, searing pain, right foot, searing pain, right foot, I should have gotten used to this by now, right foot, but I haven’t, right foot, I hate every last one of you, right foot…

The mind that was thinking those thoughts was housed by a brain in a skull topped with an unruly orange thatch and adorned by a stubble. Even before all other considerations, his current appearance wasn’t doing Armitage Hux’ mood any favors. After several days of captivity he was looking like a thug that the local law enforcement had captured, not like last sane person in the First Order, who had taken it onto himself to cleanse the organization from the Sith disease. Not as clumsy as late Domaric Quinn had tried to do it, of course (the idiot had questioned Kylo Ren during a council session of High Command), but with patience, meticulously planned and executed flawless… near flawlessly. Over the course of a year, Hux had leaked confidential information to the Resistance, bits and pieces carefully curated to ensure Ren’s downfall, while keeping the First Order as a whole as intact as possible. That hadn’t been an easy feat, and for that reason his treason now counted as one of the most satisfying projects he had ever undertaken in the former General’s memory.

The downside of being a mole, though? After compiling everything about your organization that you wanted to relay to the enemy, in case you got found out, your own folks would want you to state everything you revealed to the others to them now, too. To this end the troopers were taking Hux to interrogation like so many times before.

Should have made two copies of each message in the first place, one for either side, Hux thought in a fit of gallows humor.

Right foot, searing pain, right foot, hiss, cuss and right foot again…

Watching his booted feet hit the floor in always the same rhythm, Hux wondered for how long he was looking down already. He had lowered his head only to check on his injured leg, to see whether there was blood oozing into the bandage. But now he was walking for who knew how many steps already with his gaze cast down like an intimidated commoner!

Right foot, searing pain… Ouch, dammit!

There were no bloodstains on the bandage, the prisoner’s torn trousers or the pristine black floor. Wait a moment! If he could see all this…? All of a sudden Hux became fully aware of the fact that unlike all the other times the troopers had taken him interrogation, today he wasn’t blindfolded. And that in turn meant that it didn’t matter anymore what the prisoner saw or didn’t see, because he wasn’t expected to make the return trip! Armitage Hux was going to get executed by whatever means whoever was in command of this floating ruin had decided on. He’d die like he had lived: a weakling, a failure, ridiculed and humiliated. Only this time he wouldn’t be able to get even with his abusers afterwards.

In retrospect there had also been moments when Hux had been on the initiative: Who had finished the New Republic? Who had ensured Kylo Ren’s downfall? Who had…

Never mind. His victories would be forgotten.

Of course Hux could tell himself now that he’d show them how an imperial scion knew to die, but truth was, they’d make it so that he wouldn’t be able to look good in any way, shape or form. His end would be on their terms, not his.

Theirs… His First Order. When had it become “them”?

Suddenly the lights went out. Had the sparsely lit floor seemed dark, now the humans got reminded of what actual pitch black darkness was. The stormtroopers switched their helmets to nightvision and at the same time went into alert mode, as if unseen intruders had sabotaged the floor’s lighting, when in truth the lights had failed same as so many other systems tended to fail in the aftermath of the battle of Exegol.

“Squad?” Hux raised his voice. “Here’s my final order to you: FIRE AT WILL!”

And with these words he dashed forwards. The startled stormtroopers fired and would have hit the running target, only in the split seconds their energy bolts needed to travel, the “running” target had changed into a “falling” one and the shots went harmlessly over Hux’ head. He rolled to the side, found himself in a narrow floor that joined the main one here and scrambled back to his feet.

His heart was racing and since any direction was as good as the other now, he ran deeper into the side floor, muttering: “That blasted survival instinct!”. The idea had been to go out on his own terms, but now that he had escaped the initial volley of blaster fire, the escapee couldn’t bring himself to reveal where he’d gotten to.

On both sides of the floor doors were opening and closing erratically. Their hissing made Hux feel as if he was running through a menagerie, the giant snake creatures exhibit, to be specific.

SMACK!

The thing Hux had inadvertently run into very definitely was not a snake, it was not even alive in the traditional sense, but mobile and astute. Made of metal and plasteel, it was a protocol droid, one of the many units in use on this level for bureaucratic work and assistance in interrogations. Yellow eyes glowing in the darkness partially illuminated the grey droid chassis. They bore into the stranger, and him stumbling back already ticked “individual potentially not cleared to roam free in this section” on the droid’s internal checklist.

“Prisoner on the loose!” the droid concluded, when it additionally sensed the cuffs that were still binding Hux’ wrists together and for good measure it connected to them wirelessly, resulting in a sharp jolt to the prisoner. But of course… Wireless communication between two devices, aka the number one most unreliable tech in the whole galaxy – and he, Armitage Hux, had to find himself at the receiving end of it the one time that it actually worked.

Accompanied by a staunch “Back in there!”, Hux found himself get shoved into the closest cell. The droid seemed to assume that the power failure had unsealed that one’s door. Come to think of it, that wasn’t the worst turn this escape could have taken! Nothing like a sturdy door between Hux and his pursuers, especially with the troopers being none the wiser where he had ended up.

*

The prisoner had barely set a foot into the cell, when he already bumped against a barrier. It turned out to be a grate separating the two square meter space he was in from the actual cell. After the near-collision, Hux’ foot met something soft on the floor. The tiny space was already occupied, but the occupant had missed their opportunity to escape on account of being sound asleep.

Hux grabbed the bars in front of him with both hands to steady himself, then kicked the sleeper awake with his good leg.

“Huh…?”

A male voice, and a vaguely familiar one, too.

Hux quickly put his foot onto the man and said: “There’s not enough space in here for even one of us to take a nap. Get up!”

There was a rustle and movement and all of a sudden the universe had re-arranged itself into Hux getting pinned against the wall by the other man with him being none the wiser how exactly that had happened.

“What are you?” Hux gasped. “A full blown Jedi?”

He cursed himself for having jumped to conclusions too quickly. His assumption had went: It’s in a holding cell = it’s a captured rebel and therefore a temporary ally. But with reflexes and strength like his opponent’s, that one could just as well be a stormtrooper in detention for some minor misconduct.

“Well on my way there”, the other replied and this additional information in combination with the voice finally allowed Hux to identify this person as Finn. So in a way he had been correct on all fronts, the other being a rebel, a former stormtrooper and rumored to be force sensitive.

“Sorry for barging in here like this”, he said, despite being anything but sorry. “The guard droid thought I was you.”

Finn didn’t loosen his grip on the intruder. “You. Always complicating things”, he snarled.

“Says Mister “I can’t tell an arm from a leg”!”

Finn studied his opponent as closely as was possible in the almost complete darkness. The stubble, the bruises and the torn, unwashed clothes confirmed his first impression: That the General was a prisoner same as himself. There was no keycard or code cylinder to take from this one.

“What would happen if I called the guards?” Finn prodded.

“You’d probably get in trouble one way or the other, regardless of having done them a favor.”

“And in what way would you get into trouble?”

“Don’t call the guards, Finn”, Hux replied as composed as possible. “I’m done for, all I still want is to go out on my own terms. In fact, since you are already holding me, would you mind ramming my head against those bars to your left?”

Finn laughed.

“Huuux, your first instinct upon entering was to establish dominance over your cellmate! I get it, officer’s honor and all, but your actions speak a different language. You would resist. And when you’re weak enough not to bite and kick me trying to fulfill your “request”, I’ll be too weak to lift my own head, let alone yours. Face it, you want to live. Everyone does.”

“I…”

“See? Your favorite word! – Alright, General, I’ll slowly release you now. Try not to do anything too stupid.”

Hux kept standing with his back against the cell wall.

“I can’t”, he moaned. “I can’t let them recapture me!”

With a shrug, Finn slid down on his side of the tiny room. They could both sit in here, but not stretch out their legs, let alone curl up to sleep.

After a while Hux joined Finn on the floor, repeating his: “I just can’t!” followed by a hiss when he pulled his legs towards his body. No further sound escaped the man’s mouth, only his fingers clawed into his trousers and he inhaled sharply.

Never in his career as a stormtrooper had Finn expected to sit shoulder to shoulder with his General. And never in his time with the Resistance had he expected to sit shoulder to shoulder with the enemy General! But their incompatible worldviews aside, nobody who had it found in himself to defy the First Order, that had been his family up to this point, could NOT feel empathy with a fellow being that was in pain or distress. Even if that one was an enemy and responsible for atrocities of almost unfathomable magnitude. And so Finn decided to share something with his fellow captive:

“And you definitely want to live in this best of all timelines!”

“Best…? What are you talking about?” Hux wondered, reflexively turning his head towards the other. “Except… you DID defeat Kylo Ren?”

“Rey killed him on the water moon of Endor”, Finn confirmed, wisely keeping the rest of the story to himself.

Hux relaxed noticeably, almost leaning on Finn in the process.

“What else?” he asked.

“The First Order was defeated, too, utterly crushed, actually. This here is their very last ship, driven to the unknown regions of the galaxy and commanded by a skeleton crew of totally overwhelmed junior officers, because most everyone else has deserted. The ship is so battered that it is barely able to maintain an orbit over a barren world. Meanwhile back home the New Republic prospers. They keep us imprisoned out of spite in the face of all of this!”

“None of this is true. I mean, I give you the hapless junior officers, I had the displeasure of meeting an especially enervating specimen just this morning, and the Steadfast is somewhat less than fully operational, but the rest? At the very least Pryde is still alive. The Resistance, although in a better spot than it was before I started feeding you intel, is far from winning this war!”

“But I just told you”, Finn replied, winking.

“Can you prove it? Well?”

“Can you disprove my words?”

“Ey?”

“See”, Finn eventually relented, “In the absence of contact with the outside world, my truth is as valid as yours. If I was you, I’d choose my version of reality.”

Hux upgraded from his “Ey?” to a “What?”, still none the wiser.

“My head used to be full of your propaganda”, Finn explained. “Now it is filled with my own propaganda. It’s a mental construct, to stay sane in here. It works as often as it doesn’t.”

“Oh. Interesting. And that isn’t just a Jedi-thing you’re doing there?”

“Maybe it is, I wouldn’t have a clue.”

“What’s Dameron’s place in your reality?” Hux asked.

There was a drawn out silence before Finn answered: “Not included. I can’t lie to myself that well to picture him well, when I know for a fact that he isn’t.” Finn leaned forward and put his chin on his knees. In a muffled voice he added: “What a fine boyfriend I am, unable to daydream my partner happy…”

Suddenly Finn felt an arm slide across his neck and the next moment a hand was squeezing his right shoulder encouragingly.

“Don’t beat yourself up for that”, Hux said. “You’re the only one who remained loyal to me. My… knight?” The arm got retracted and Hux made a disparaging sound. “No, that method’s not working for me. I never… I mean, I always…”

I perfected trackerless hyperspace tracking after it was in development since pretty much the days of the Old Republic, with nobody else seeing how easily everything fit together. I built a better Death Star. The formations I invented reliably score the First Order fleets victories, as does the tactical network software I programmed. There’s a reason I was the youngest officer to make General, yet the elders deem me unfit for the position because they heard me misspeak like ONCE on the command bridge. By now they should have noticed that everyone who displeases me vanishes from the command chain, but, no, they’re too stupid to learn their lesson, yet have the nerves to call ME weak. I cannot lie to myself. I know my worth. The First Order is MY empire in all but the title!

And yet, despite knowing all of this by heart, there was that other voice, and it said…

HISSSSSSSS.

Wait, what? Oh, right. That was the door, not some inner voice. Finn with his metaphysical crap has already confused me to this degree, Hux thought.

The door opened and in the dim light of the restored floor lamps now stood the protocol droid Hux already knew, accompanied by Chief Intelligence Officer Tishra Kandia.

“I’m well aware you’re a people person, prisoner”, she addressed Finn, “but I’ll have you know that getting yourself a roommate still goes against the idea of solitary confinement.”

She then looked at Hux, what caused the droid to start chattering. Kandia waved her hand about at the droids’ longwinded apologies and explanation regarding the wrongly sorted prisoner, but all that did was to cause the droid to start over from a different angle.

“Shut the fuck up!” Hux shouted.

“How rude!”

“What do you expect from rebel-scum”, the former General muttered, both annoyed and intensely proud of himself. Even now nothing on this ship was working without him!

“Maybe you could tell the story to Ma’m Kandia in your own words to…”

“Shut the Kriff up!” Kandia barked at the droid only slightly less impolitely than the prisoner.

“Well, that��s new”, Hux snarked. “Those recent days you could not listen long enough to me gush about how I played you all for fools for the better part of a year.”

“And still have trouble believing any of that happened”, Kandia replied in a subdued voice. “You always were that model of a proper officer…” She stopped, considered and went on: “…provided we didn’t want you to engage with actual rebels, that is. What in a war against the rebel rabble is hard to avoid.”

“Can we stop…” Hux labored to get up, using the bars in his back to support him. “…with the trash talk and you shoot me? During a failed escape attempt?”

Kandia grabbed the prisoner by his upper arm and pulled him out of the cell, only to toss him into the arms of a waiting stormtrooper duo. In the brief moment his ear passed her mouth, she whispered: “Would’ve.” That didn’t exactly inspire confidence in the prisoner. Kandia admitting that she’d mercy killed her former superior, if all the First Order had wanted was to execute him, indicated that exactly that wasn’t the plan anymore. The plan had changed, there was still a use the First Order wanted to put the mole to, and that use most likely was connected to his accidental cellmate in some way.

After the first trooper had firmly secured Hux, the other entered the cell, handcuffed Finn and grabbed him equally tightly. They got marched off together, deeper into the cell block, towards an uncertain fate.

*

“We got upgraded to emperor class”, Finn joked, when the duo looked around their new cell.

Two bunkbeds were built into each of the opposing walls, with just enough space in between that a third, freestanding one, could have fitted seamlessly. Each of the bunks featured its own lamp and two narrow shelves to store personal possessions. At the right bed’s foot end a locker stood and opposite that one a door led to a separate refresher that granted the user privacy from their cellmates, albeit not from the ubiquitous surveillance sensors. Growing up, at times Finn had lived in dorms like this, maybe with an added table and two chairs, when he had been in a penal squad for this or that reason. His joke hadn’t been that far off the mark – these weren’t standard prisoner accommodations.

“They want to see what we’ll do, so they need to give us space to do something in”, Hux ventured a guess. “There may be “toys”, too… objects to interact with.”

Finn nodded.

“Can we agree to not let happen whatever it is that they expect to happen?”

“I…”

The door opened again and two more captives got tossed into the room, causing Hux to stagger deeper into the cell. He grabbed a rung in the ladder of the right bunk bed to steady himself, refusing to sit down as long Finn wasn’t doing so, too.

Meanwhile Finn had caught one of the newcomers, a human male shorter than himself, a little weaker, too, but equally enduring and with even better trained reflexes than the former stormtrooper. At the moment none of those qualities were showing, the man was disoriented and moving sluggishly. He could stand on his own only if he concentrated on keeping the balance.

“Poe!” Finn exclaimed, only to furrow his brows when the other didn’t immediately react to getting talked to. Poe stood there a little lost on his bare feet and only wearing a set of underwear. He was shivering, overtly from being cold, but on second glance his eyes were not fully focused, so something else had to be adversely affecting him.

With her back to the door, scanning the room with her eyes, stood Rose Tico. Her clothes were in disarray, her right cheek swollen and a blueish-black ring circled her right eye.

When Finn and Rose made no attempt to do anything useful, but only stared at each other, processing emotions of various kinds, Hux sighed, moved right between them and vanished into the refresher unit. He returned with a yellow mug in his hand, that he pressed at Poe Dameron’s lips.

“Wish it was rat poison”, he hissed.

Poe’s lips were thoroughly glued together from lack of water. Hux titled the mug a little and what didn’t spill finally served to moisten the skin enough for Poe’s lips to part. At this point the man’s senses seemed to have registered “Water!” and he instinctively took a gulp. Only then did he notice who exactly was holding the mug. Poe was standing in Finn’s arms, with Rose’s hand holding his, but the third person in the equation was most definitely nobody whom he’d wanted this close to himself.

“I’m hallucinating”, the prisoner concluded.

Finn stepped around his partner and looked him into the eyes.

“No, you are not!”

“And now I’m hallucinating my Finn…” Poe said in a sad voice.

When Finn reached out to caress Poe’s face, the other sidestepped and was now standing on shaky legs between the bunkbeds. His stance betrayed that he was ready to flee even farther, to the point of merging with the wall at the end of the cell, in order to not have to touch the “hallucination”. As long as Poe had no proof that the illusion was insubstantial, he could still make believe it was real!

“Birds of a feather, you two”, Hux grumbled. He stepped up to the shivering pilot, grabbed him and barked: “If I was a hallucination, I’d be controlled by whatever you’re using instead of a brain and replied something Dameron-like! But I didn’t, so what am I?”

“Rat… posion…”

“Argh, it’s of no use. He got drugged and needs to sleep it off.”

Hux pushed Poe, with the intent to park him in the closest bunk, but Finn took over again. With Rose’s help, he lifted the pilot into the upper bed, closer to an imaginary “sky”, claiming that Poe would want to “fly”.

“But of course…” Hux said with a sneer, while securing the lower bunk on the opposite cell wall. On principle he’d very much preferred the upper bunk, too, but his leg wasn’t favor of that.

Finn placed his shoes next to the bunk below Poe’s, then climbed up to sit next to his partner. Now that he could relax, Poe’s shivering hadn’t ceased, but in fact intensified, as one by one his muscles realized that he was protected by his friends now.

“Looks like we’ll be sharing, then”, Hux said to Rose, “to make this wonderful class reunion complete.”

“Good, uh, undefined point of the day- and night cycle”, Rose replied.

Eventually everyone had settled in. Finn had volunteered to take the first watch, Rose was lying on her left side, fervently trying to sleep, resulting in her growing less sleepy by the minute, and Hux was relaxing his leg, determined not to sleep in this room full of enemies. Was it even night already? Hux couldn’t tell. His aching body told him that he’d been awake for “too long”, but seeing that he was spending his days getting roughed up by Commander Kandia’s interrogation team, even (or especially) when he cooperated, the actual time that had passed might have been a lot shorter than the perceived one. Ironically it was Poe, who slowly drifted into restful sleep. It had been days since the man had slept in an actual bed, maybe also days since he’d slept naturally. He smiled in his half-awake state, snuggled up under the coarse bedsheet that slowly warmed him up. Not that Poe Dameron had much reason to smile, with the war still going on, him and his friends being captured and living for another day meaning another chance to break them for their enemies. But sometimes all one wanted was to drool into a pillow, with a (comparatively) soft mattress below oneself. Both had gotten provided in the most accidental way imaginable.

Full story: link

[earlgreydream]

force.

| kylo ren x reader | smut |

Kylo helps you seize the power of the force, tipping the balance in favor of the dark side

cw: force-violence, mentions of death (star wars), inappropriate use of the force

“Breathe, Y/N.”

The command grounded you. You felt it, the block inside of you shattering. Everything inside of you reached out, the invisible hand grabbing hold, finding stability in The Force.

Power filled you as you inhaled, flooding like a wave. Your eyes opened, revealing a world of slick black and red. You hovered above the ground, above your prince.

You harnessed The Force, soaking it up and feeling the power surge through your veins. It became your center, your source of life, and the absolute balance. 

There was no longer a wall that kept you from the power, and you were free from the bonds of your mind that held you back. The bonds that had been put into place to keep you from The Force.

The Force was overwhelming. The raw power made your body hum and throb, pulsing deep inside of your soul and pouring out of you. 

And there was Kylo, his dark eyes glittering with a savage hunger, a sick satisfaction. He gazed up at you in all of your glory. The prince was awestruck, his prodigé finally reaching full potential.

The two of you had spent months trying to break the block in your mind. Your screams had echoed off of the walls of the Star Destroyer, white-hot pain searing every corner of your mind as Kylo forced himself in, trying to break through. 

“You’re still holding on! Let go!” 

It had been like you were burning from the inside out. His screams mixed with your own, echoing in your head, through the entire ship, until there was sudden silence. The heat turned to ice when you collapsed on the cold ground, relief washing over you as Kylo let go of your mind. 

Kylo tortured you daily, trying to help you connect with your power. It tortured him as much as it did you, and after months he struggled. Whenever you’d collapse, he heaved out apologies. The Supreme Leader would drag you into him, begging you to open your eyes and let him know you were okay. He always feared that one time you wouldn’t survive it, that his forceful efforts would finally kill you. Even with the risk, you begged him to do it anyway. You wanted the power, you needed it. 

Now, it had worked. 

Your sick, deranged laughter bounced off of the glass, fueled by the euphoric high that spun in your mind. You felt the balance shift, and Kylo felt it too. Everything tipped into darkness, falling.

“You did it.”

“I did it,” you repeated after Kylo. 

You slowly sank to the floor, bare feet connecting with cool, black marble. The heartbeat of the universe was under your feet, and you finally stopped tumbling through nothingness. 

Kylo felt everything shift, your power pouring into the dark side. This was what you wanted, what you worked for, what you almost died for. 

“Supreme Leader.” 

“Empress.”

A grin spread across your face, hearing him call you that. The Knights of Ren all dropped to one knee, bowing to you. You were no longer his prodigé, but his equal. With training, it was likely you would surpass even his own ability. 

You felt it now, the connection. You and Kylo were one. His heartbeat was yours, thrumming in your chest to the same rhythm. 

Your black robes soundlessly brushed the floor as you followed Kylo to the throne room. General Hux stood in your way, as usual.

“Y/N-”

“Empress!” Kylo snapped, correcting him. Ginger eyebrows shot up, and he barked out a laugh of disbelief. 

“Come on, you didn’t manage to open up your broken doll!” He snorted. 

Less than a millisecond passed before Hux’s body cracked against the other end of the hallway. Your fingers squeezed, choking him from meters away. Kylo made no move to stop you, or save his general from your new abilities. 

He choked and struggled against your invisible grip on his throat, sick pleasure twisting in you as you watched the light bleed from his eyes. His fear only fueled you, his terror buzzing like electricity up your spine. 

Just before the loss of oxygen was fatal, you dropped him, releasing your hold. Hux wheezed and gasped, fighting for his life in a squirming pile on the floor. 

“Disrespect me again, General Hux, and I won’t be so gentle,” you warned, your voice dripping with sadistic amusement. His green eyes were wide, and he looked to Kylo for protection, who only smirked at your warning. 

The Knights’ steps echoed after you like thunder, three going to either side of the throne as you took your place beside Kylo, instead of kneeling on the floor beneath him. The First Order was at your fingertips, an army at your command. And soon, the who galaxy. 

Everyone felt it, the shift in The Force. The Jedi filled with dread, feeling your power pull the galaxy like a magnet. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Kylo’s voice echoed Anakin’s. 

“Come with me.”

You obeyed, following Kylo through the dark hallways to his chambers. The door slid shut behind you, securing the two of you in the huge, dark room. Stars glittered outside the wall of glass, planets far-off in the distance. Everything was black and luxurious, all but the red First Order symbol on the back of the door. 

Your black robes slipped from your body, discarded with Kylo’s. He was huge in every respect, towering over you and filling the room with his presence. Before, you had felt small, and powerless under him, but it was different now. It didn’t feel the same, not anymore. He dominated you physically, but your mind and power were just as sharp as his. 

“Please,” you didn’t need to elaborate. Kylo nodded, and you pushed him down against the black silk sheets. He moved easily, his large hands sliding up your waist and steadying you as you straddled his hips. 

“Let me please you,” you whispered, your hot breath stirring Kylo’s dark locks, your lips ghosting his cheekbone. He nodded, and Kylo’s black eyes widened in surprise as his hands were pinned above his head. He tugged at his wrists fruitlessly, unable to move, even when he tried. 

“Y/N?” His deep voice tinged with uncertainty.

“Just lay there and take it, Supreme Leader. Give yourself to me, let go,” you breathed. 

Your lips lightly brushed against his, and he leaned up to really kiss you. It was needy and desperate, his walls crumbling as he submitted to you. Your praises were soft, soothing his desperation to touch you, to flip you over and pound into you like he was so accustomed to doing. 

Your tongue slid along his full lips before gliding against his own, deepening the kiss. You swallowed Kylo’s low whine as your force wrapped around him and began to stroke his cock like an invisible hand. He fought against the restraints, wanting to take control and feel you actually touch him. 

Choked whimpers escaped him as your fingers moved, making the pressure tease him. You smiled, brushing his curls away from his forehead. Your nails lightly dragged down his broad chest, leaving faint red lines in their wake. 

“What is it, love?” you asked sweetly, tilting your head to the side and leaning forward. 

“You’re being a fucking tease,” he snarled. 

Kylo thrashed on the bed, but you couldn’t focus any more strength on restraining him. Maybe with more practice, but you were unsure if Kylo would help after your misuse of power. 

“Oh, Kylo, what would your knights think of you if they saw you like this? The First Order? Their Supreme Leader weak for me.” 

He growled out a threat, cut off sharply with a mewl when your tongue lapped at the head of his cock, making his hips twitch. Your nails dragged over this thighs, moving between his legs to replace The Force with your own touch. Your movements became more focused as you tried to drag him toward an orgasm, finding your efforts quickly successful. 

Kylo came in thick ribbons with a yell, his curls fanning out around him as his head fell back, his hips thrusting up into your hand. You sat on his thighs, pinning him down as you continued to tease him, not letting up. 

“Y/N! Fuck, don’t!” 

“I will fucking tear you apart when you let me go-” he threatened, crying out as you overstimulated him. You had the Supreme Leader whimpering at your little touches.

You were drunk on the power you asserted, seeing him falling apart and begging you to let him go, until his dark eyes were wet and his voice was nothing more than broken whines. 

You were about to sink yourself down on him, using him to get yourself off, when your attention faltered for an instant at the touch to your throbbing sex. Kylo seized the opportunity, tearing free of your hold. 

A frightened scream escaped you as your body was thrown against the mattress, your wrists trapped in First Order binder handcuffs. Your front was pressed against cool sheets, Kylo not bothering to use his power to restrain you, wanting all of it to go into your torture. 

“I hope you enjoyed that, because it was the last time you ever overpower me,” Kylo seethed, biting down into the smooth skin of your shoulder, ripping a yelp from you. 

“Kylo, I’m sorry,” you tried to backtrack, but it was too late. 

Kylo gripped your grips and jerked you onto your knees, your face still pressed against the mattress. You squealed as he buried himself inside of your slick cunt in one violent thrust. He stretched you out, forcing your body to accommodate him, not bothering to give you time to adjust. 

His grip was painfully tight on your hips as he slammed into you, fucking you aggressively. The pent-up rage from the way you’d toyed with him came pouring out in the way he tore you up. Painful pleasure blinded you, your body screaming from the stimulation. The invisible touch was stroking your clit and swirling around your nipples, as well as squeezing your throat, reminding you further who was in charge now. 

You writhed beneath Kylo as he used you, going as rough and as hard as he could until you collapsed, limp and weak beneath him. Kylo showed you no mercy, fucking you past three orgasms, until your throat was raw from screaming. Exhaustion got to you before Kylo finished, and you wished you were numb by the time he finally unlocked your wrists and pulled out of your raw sex. You shuddered at every slight brush against your skin, the overstimulation sparking pain through your nerves.

He flipped you onto your back, his massive hand gripping your jaw and making you look him in the eye. 

“I am your Supreme Leader, and you submit to me!” 

“Yes, Kylo,” your breathed weakly, accepting the kiss you were given as solace. 

[waatermelon-sugaar]

Under My Skin: Chapter 5

Words = 9k

Summary = You’ve been kidnapped by the First Order and Poe wants needs you back

Warnings = No fun warnings I’m sorry! There is a happy ending, but before we get there it’s, kidnapping, forced drugging, aftermath of that, general pain, hurt/comfort, violence, hospital setting. I think that’s everything? Please, please, please let me know if I’ve missed anything - this got a lot darker than I intended (if you have any questions before you read, just shoot me a message and I’ll let you know!)

A/N = Sorry this chapter took so long - i think it might have actually killed me. But we’re at the end! Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who’s read this far, and stuck with the story, I love you all!  

Also special thanks to @michaelperry who beta’d this like a month ago and gave me some really good advice! 

Posted to AO3

Chapter 1   Chapter 4

Series Masterlist

***

When you wake, it’s cold. You're in a chair, hands strapped to the arms. It takes you a long time to open your eyes; your head is pounding and the bright lights shining on you are complicating matters.

The room swims slowly into focus as you blink, feeling like there’s glue on your lash line each time you try and open your eyes.

The room is a bright white, smelling faintly of chemicals and you keep blinking, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. You move your head slightly, trying to think. There’s something just floating outside of your consciousness, something important you should be remembering, but every time you grab for it, it floats away.

You don’t know how long you sit like this, drifting in and out of consciousness, with little to no perception of what’s around you.

When there’s a loud slam, your whole body jerks forward in shock, but there’s nowhere to go. You’ve begun to lose most of the feeling in your arms, but your mind is beginning to feel clearer. Now you can hear a whirring beneath you, the slight vibration letting you know you’re on a ship, and it’s already in flight. How long have you been traveling for? You’re still cold, goosebumps up and down your arms as your teeth chatter slightly.

You focus on the person standing behind you, not bothering to turn your head. “It’ssnot polite … to … to slam t’door, y’know,”  You're shocked when your voice comes out more slurred than you meant it to.

The figure behind you just laughs, and it sends shivers down your spine. They walk forwards slowly, a cloak wrapped around their body, hood off. He seems a little familiar to you but you’re not sure why.

The room is coming more and more into focus, like someone’s turned up the intensity of your vision, and you can see that there are cupboards lining the wall in front of you, various tables and medical equipment visible.

The man had pale skin, ginger hair, although he was starting to lose it, his hairline creeping back in a subtle widow’s peak. He smiles, and it sends a shiver down your spine. “Oh dear. Struggling to talk?” His tone is mocking as he leans towards you.

Your mouth feels dry, like it’s been stuffed of cotton wool and you can’t think. You can’t remember … anything. How did you end up here? Who is this horrible man in front of you? Why does he look familiar?

You try to talk again. “Wha’ve’oou givenee?”

It’s a struggle to manipulate your mouth fast enough to separate your words, your tongue clumsy in your mouth, but you try. “Wha’ve you givenee? Given? Given. Me?”

“It’s wearing off, good good. Don’t worry sweetheart, you’ll be able to talk properly in around …” he looks at his wrist, considering. “Maybe 15 minutes?”

Sweetheart.

That feels familiar - why?

The man takes a seat, a much comfier looking one than the one you’re sat on, looking prepared to wait. He’s calm, shuffling through papers and clattering objects around. You try and pull it together, closing your eyes in an attempt to concentrate. You have 15 minutes before something’s going to happen. He wants you to be able to talk … so … so … so why can’t you think?

He wants you to tell him about the resistance.

Of course. The resistance. He needs information … and suddenly fear shoots down your spine.

Except obviously you won’t give him what he wants. So he’s waiting because…?

Why can’t you think?!

Someone else used to call you sweetheart.

And suddenly there’s a tan face in your memory, grinning at you and calling you sweetheart. And you can remember feeling frustration, but it’s different. This memory-frustration, it’s like a warm bubble inside you, rising and bursting as you call the man an idiot.

His hair is amazing.

You know his name. You know you do. It’s right there on the tip of your tongue - …

The man in the chair coughs, and the face flies out of your head, leaving a sharp pain in your chest instead. Why?

And gradually, you’re also becoming aware of a throbbing pain in your head. You don’t know what the cause is, whether you hit your head, or if it’s something as simple as dehydration.

There’s a high-pitched beep and the man sits up in his chair.

Poe.

You nearly gasp his name out, stopping yourself at the last second. But why does thinking about him hurt?

The man doesn’t seem to realise your inner conflict, or if he does, he doesn’t care, instead scraping his chair across to sit in front of you. “So sweetheart, let’s run through some basics. I’ll ask you a couple of questions to test where you are, then we’ll see what you know.”

You can smell his breath. It’s minty, matching his too-white teeth, and you hate it. You hate him. You already know you won’t answer a single one of his questions.

“Name?”

You nearly laugh, they don’t know your name?

“Sweetheart tell me what your name is, so I know that the drug is out of your system.”

You just blink at him, in that split second deciding on your tactic. Absolute silence.

You don’t get a reaction from him, however, instead he moves onto the next question.

“Date of birth?”

It takes an effort to not automatically respond, but you don’t change your expression.

The man just sighs again.

“Do you know who I am?”

You don’t, but you don’t reply.

“My name is General Hux and I am to deliver you and Poe Dameron to Kylo Ren.”

General Hux. And suddenly you remember Poe telling you something.

You laugh, unable to stop yourself. “You mean General Hugs? Aww you’re my favourite, I’m flattered that you of all people in the First Order would come to find me.”

You get the first flicker of annoyance crossing the man’s face. Then it resolves itself, and he grins. “So you can talk clearly now,” he stands, scraping the chair over the floor. “Good, good.” Opening one of the cupboards he pulls out some clear liquid in a large jar and a couple of bags, placing them onto a small table with a clatter, which he pushes towards you.

And all at once, with a heavy thud in your chest as the memory flashes across your eyes, you remember what you said to Poe. And that after, you walked into the forest-

You love him.

Fuuu-

Your line of thought is interrupted by the man saying your name. You clench your fists, suddenly aware of how cold your fingers are. You’re an idiot.

“You better start answering my questions now.” The man sits back in front of you, pulling the table next to him. And now you can see what’s in the bags. Absolutely enormous needles attached to syringes.

Your throat goes dry.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckfuck!

You try to squash the fear, instead baring your teeth in a grin. “Why? Will General Hugs be cross?”

For good measure, you add a pout in, and maker, you’ve never been so glad to be a piece of work.

“I will. And you won’t like me when I’m cross.”

You ignore the flash of fear you feel, instead concentrating on moving your feet inside your shoes in a futile attempt to warm them up. Your laugh is cold. “Oh I think I’ll be ok.”

He picks up a syringe, carefully unwrapping it, before drawing some clear liquid into it. You continue, ignoring his attempts to intimidate you. “After all, I don’t like you very much now, so I can’t even imagine what you could do to me to make me hate you more.”

He ignores you, tapping the syringe and watching a bubble float to the top. “Do you know what this is?”

Be annoying.

“Well if it’s the same thing as the first one you gave me, I wouldn’t recommend it because then I’ll just pass out again and you won’t get a coherent answer out of me, will you?”

He laughs, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, those people had nothing to do with the First Order. They just needed the money.”

“So the First Order don’t even have the manpower to come and get me yourself?” You tut. “Standards are slipping.”

“Mouthy bitch, aren’t you?” He’s still playing with the syringe, and you can’t help but eye the needle warily. “No, this is different. Lowers your inhibitions, your perceptions. You’ll tell me things you don’t even realise.”

“Ahhhh so you see, you’ve made a mistake there.” You’re talking rubbish, but you can’t seem to stop yourself, in full flow now. “I don’t have any inhibitions, anyone will tell you that I’m utterly shameless so I just, I really, really don’t think it’ll worth giving it to me, it just won’t work, and who knows how much the drug cost and what a waste, I really don’t think you, the great General Hugs would be hap-”

Your steady stream of consciousness is stopped when he slaps you with a resounding crack, your head flying to one side.

Pain immediately blooms on the side of your face, and you have to blink away a few tears from the impact.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know, silly girl, I need to find out where Poe Dameron is and-”

You interrupt with another laugh, and maybe that first injection addled your brain more than you thought it did, because that truly was a stupid thing to do. You’ve never acted like this before, and yet there’s a small voice in the back of your head telling you that Poe would be proud, so you keep going.

“You don’t know? So it’s pure luck that you found me - no wait, that I was delivered to you! Maker I love being right, standards really are slippi-”

The second slap hurts more than the first.

You sit there for a second in dumb shock, blood pooling in your mouth from the blunt force.

When Hugs rips your sleeve up your left forearm, holding the needle against your skin, you start to twist your wrist in it’s cuff, desperate to get away. You can see your wrist turning red, and your hand is starting to hurt from the force you’re using.

Hugs doesn’t waste any time though, using one cold hand to hold your wrist above the cuff still, gripping it tightly, he plunges the needle in with the other. When the needle pierces your skin, it hurts, you can feel the liquid soaking into your muscles and traveling up your arm.

The effect of this drug isn’t immediate, and so you sit there for a moment, arm aching, determined not to show how much this hurts. You turn your head to the other side and spit out the blood in your mouth, the red a bright contrast on the sparkling floor.

A mix of saliva and blood trails from your lips, and you explore your mouth with your tongue, finding the area where your teeth cut the inside of your cheek. You remove your tongue immediately upon finding it, not needing to add further pain to another area of your body.

Stars but the needle hurts.

“Do you-?” You nod towards your arm, naively hoping that Hugs will remove the needle. “Do you mind removing the needle, I mean-”

You stop talking when you move your fingers by accident and a stab of pain shoots up your arm.

Fuck the needle is massive too.

Hugs just grins, and the movement looks unnatural as he stretches stiff facial muscles, leaning back into his chair, tidying up the instruments on the table. “Maybe you’ll learn some manners,” is all he says.

“I thought - … I thought you wanted me to talk?” Your body is starting to hurt now, and it’s starting to be a struggle to speak again.

Except now you can feel the drug’s effect. It’s hardly noticeable at first, but gradually, gradually, the pain is receding. And the effect of this drug is different to the last, it’s lifting you up, making everything dream-like and fuzzy.

Everything thankfully stays in your mind, although you can’t help but giggle. Something’s funny.

“Tell me about General Dameron.” Hug’s voice is stern as he leans towards you and all you can do is let out another giggle.

General. He’s just Poe. Your Poe.

“I don’t know anything about him.” You’re such a bad liar. You’re trying to keep your face innocent and blank, but giggles keep rising up, and you’re sure it’s ruining the effect.

“I think you do.”

You giggle again. Maker this is good fun. Dimly, you register that your arm doesn’t hurt anymore and you stare as you wiggle your fingers, only feeling a faint thrum through your arm.

“Well you think wrong.” Are you singing? Singing sounds like fun.

“Can you confirm he stole kyber crystals alongside you a cycle ago?”

Fuck and you remember that mission so well. It was such a disaster. But as funny as this situation is, it remains in your mind that the man in front of you is a very bad man, and you can’t tell him anything.

“Answer me.” The command is sharp and stern, and you don’t like it. Hugs is mean. With a name like Hugs, he should really be nicer. You’d think he would be cuddlier, like a teddy bear. Instead he’s all sharp angles and words.

You pout. “No.” He’s so rude. Why should you answer him anyway? “Don’t you know? Me and Dameron hate each other - I know nothing about him.”

The phrase feels so familiar on your tongue, yet something about it is clunky, old-fashioned. The denial is an old friend of yours, and maybe you should have pushed down your feelings for him in the same way, and maybe you would already be feeling better. This pain in your chest is too much.

I don’t love Poe Dameron.

Even in your head it sounds flat.

Another slap to your face twists your head the opposite way. This one doesn’t hurt, you only notice it from the movement of your head.

“Answer me.” The commanding tone breaks through your dreamy haze. You have no idea what the question was, but you can feel a liquid pooling at the corner of your mouth. You blow out slightly, feeling a bubble forming.

The safe option is a petulant “No.”

“You will.”

“I will not.”

This is actually quite a fun game - the more you refuse, the more visibly annoyed Hugs gets. He’s trying so hard to stay calm, to stay in control, but you can see it in the twitch of his fingers. It kind of reminds you how Poe used to fight his annoyance towards you, the only difference being that Poe never moved to hurt you.

The questions continue for what feels like hours and hours. You have no perception of time, or how long has passed, only that you’re hungry and thirsty, and Hugs keep giving you more of this drug. You can’t remember what you say in response to the questions, but the one thing you keep in mind is not to tell them anything.

And one by one, each of your friends appears tauntingly in front of you, Rey chasing her head around the room, Rose uncontrollably floating above you like a balloon, Poe looking suspiciously normal, although with heavier eyebrows than usual, causing him to frown more. He upsets you first, telling you he’s glad you’re not friends, before saying that he hates you, he always has, he was just taking pity on you, that sleeping together was just stress relief. And then he sprouts wings, turning into an eagle, flying around the ceiling, where Rose was minutes before, except now you’re sobbing.

You’re aware that you’re hallucinating, each of them have a suspiciously shiny quality to them, a shimmer at their edges. But the idea of Poe telling you he hates you, that you never meant anything to him … it hurts.

Gradually, gradually, you can feel a tug of darkness at the edges of your mind, and everything inexplicably hurts, so you let it take you, if only so you won’t hurt anymore.

***

Back at base, Poe had never felt so out of control before. He’d always struggled with impulse management, the answer usually so clear in his mind. Suit up, jump into his x-wing, blow the problem up.

He couldn’t blow this problem up.

Everyone was moving so fast around him, yet they didn’t seem to be doing anything. You weren’t back, so they couldn’t be. Poe felt almost detached, looking down on his body surrounded by everyone who was working hard to find you.

He made his way to his x-wing, though he didn’t remember getting there. He was holding his flight suit, and some part of him was aware that he had to put it on if he wanted to fly.

“Poe.” The voice was familiar behind him.

Turning, he saw Leia standing behind him, a look of pity on her face. “Droids have tracked the lieutenant through the forest where she was joined by two others, identity unknown as of yet.”

Poe nodded. Numbness was spreading through him, he could hardly move, the idea of speaking was laughable.

“There were signs of a struggle, but we’ll find her Poe.”

What if she doesn’t want to come back? She’s not my friend.

“Poe.” There was a hand on his shoulder. It takes a great deal of effort for him to focus on Leia in front of him. Her hand was touching him, and it felt so familiar to yours, and yet so different, in almost every way that felt like it mattered. “It’ll be ok.”  

“I’ve got to go.” He was going to get you back, hell or high water.

In fact, it didn't even matter if you didn’t want to come back with him.

Poe shakes his head, “We’re not friends!” still ringing in his mind.

You were going to come back to the base if Poe had to drag you, if only so he could have a proper conversation with you before you left for good.

He hadn’t even realised he’d been flirting with the recruit until you’d turned up, and then suddenly you’d commanded his whole world view. How competent and confident you’d looked, hitting the target with each of your shots, before he’d come to the conclusion that you were jealous.

By that point, you’d already stalked away, shoulders tight with a scowl on your face. He had been able to see your lie, that you really were jealous, as soon as the words had left your mouth, your denial too strong, too protective.  

But why? Why didn’t you want him to know you were jealous? As far as Poe was concerned, it was kind of hot.

You couldn’t run away, or die before Poe got the answers.

You couldn’t. He wouldn’t allow it.

He stooped to pull the flight suit on, shrugging off Leia’s hand.

“Poe I’m not letting you chase after her.”

Poe ignored her, instead bending slightly and concentrating on doing up the buttons and various zips.

“Poe listen!”

General Organa was speaking now, not Leia, and it made Poe stop, straightening automatically.

“I am not giving you permission to leave base. Rey and Finn have already left.”

Poe steps towards Leia, and stars he feels angry.

“I am the best flyer in the resistance and you’re grounding me?”

He ignores the way his head spins when he remembers the look on your face that night you’d told him he was the best flyer, how you’d said his mum would be proud of him, how-

He shakes his head, not wanting the memory right now, blinking hard as tears well in his eyes.

“Yes.” His fingers flex at his side at Leia’s calmness.

“Why not?” He doesn’t want to snap at Leia but he had to get you back. He was going to murder those bastards who took you … if they had hurt you … “I can’t lose her, Leia, I can’t.”

“You’re not in the right headspace right now, and I can’t risk-”

Poe laughs, cutting Leia off and it’s not nice. It’s a little loose and a little mad, louder than it needs to be. “You can’t risk what? Losing me?” He bends again, this time tightening the harness straps around his legs and they’re tight, too tight. “I can’t risk losing her, Leia.” He takes a deep breath, shaking fingers attempting to loosen the straps, attempting to take back control. “I c-an’t.”

Leia’s heart broke as Poe’s voice cracked. For the first time in a long time, she saw the young boy who had come to the Resistance as soon as he was able, desperate to prove himself and throw himself into the middle of the fight.

So she steps forwards and hugs him. “I know, I know.” Leia can feel Poe trembling.  “But you charging off with half a brain isn’t going to fix anything.”

Poe allows himself to be held, head empty for a moment. He feels exhausted, yet every nerve within him is wired up to go, although he doesn’t know where. An indeterminate amount of time passes before Poe realises that Leia is probably doing all she can to stall him.

When this thought trickles down into his mind, he steps back. Perhaps because Leia can read him like a book, or perhaps because she really does want to help, she offers a small smile. “Come with me.”

Poe doesn’t have much chance to reply before Leia’s steering him by his elbow, keeping a tight grip on him. He’s led to comms, a room he’s aware of, but has never been in before.

Rose is sitting, hovering over a comm worker who Poe’s unfamiliar with. They’re sitting at a messy workstation with a number of small screens, a mess of wires cascading out of the back. The comms worker has an earphone in one ear, while the big centre screen is turned on, showing what appears to be Rey and Finn’s position.

There’s a pain in Poe’s chest as he looks at the other, empty, workstations. This is what you're worth to the Resistance. One comms worker and a friend.

Rose stands, flinging her arms around him. She’s talking, but there's a buzzing in Poe’s ears and he’s missing some. “... she’ll be alright.”

Rose has drawn back, and it’s like the bubble has popped around Poe, bringing him back to the present. He nods, suddenly aware of how hard Leia is still holding onto his arm, and briefly wondering if he’ll have bruises.

Poe picks up his own set of earphones and moves to power up the next screen over, clicking through to Rey’s comms, mind clearing as he and the comms worker start to talk through it.

After all, Poe’s always been good under pressure, blocking out all distractions, including Leia’s instructions to the droid by the door not to let Commander Dameron leave until the Lieutenant was back.

***

When you wake, you’re alone. The drug, whatever they gave you has worn off, and your headache has returned. You’re shaking, covered in sweat. When you try and make a fist with your good arm, you can barely apply enough pressure to close your hand.

You’re still strapped to the chair and unable to move your arms. When you glance down at your left arm, the blood makes your stomach turn. Everything seems sharper than it did before, more pronounced edges, yet the surfaces have lost their colour, looking duller.

Your mouth is dry and you know that if you could have some more of the drug, just a little, you’d feel better. But there are more pressing concerns; you need to get out of here.

Your feet are on the floor, good. Your head itches, and your ribs ache like you’ve been hit around the stomach. There’s something dried on your chin, irritating your skin, tightening it.

It’s hard to think, it’s so cold in here, like the ice is numbing your brain. Your headache is pounding behind your eyes and doesn’t help. But you try to stand, thinking you’ll attempt a turtle-like shuffle to the door.

Except you can’t.

You try again, bracing your feet against the floor and trying to stand. It takes you longer than it should to realise that it’s not working because you’re pressing down with your arms too.

You slump back into the chair with enough force to cause it to move, trying to catch your strength, panting heavily and not sure what else to do.

It takes you longer than it should for you to realise what that means, the thought barely trickling down into your mind.

Ok.

With a lot of careful angling and heavy slumps, you manage to twist the chair so it’s facing the door. It’s made of the same material as the walls, barely distinguishable apart from a keypad and metal grille.

Which Rey and Finn are looking at you through.

You sigh. Great. That’s what you need right now, more hallucinations. They look shocked, faces slack, until Rey disappears and Finn smiles reassuringly at you.

Briefly you wonder if Rey’s gone because her head fell off again. Then you consider if your hallucinations can get any weirder.

The next thing you know the door is swinging open, creaking slightly on its hinges and Finn’s rushing over to you, Rey poking around behind you.

“Can you stand?” Finn’s asking, looking down at you, brow furrowed. You can only nod in response, although you’re not confident in your answer. Your limbs are stiff, and even now you can move, it’s a struggle.

There’s a brief pain flickering in your left arm, and you focus on not looking at it, remembering the amount of blood. It takes Finn’s arm around you to help you stand, and you can’t help the gasp of pain that escapes you. Your vision goes dark for a second, before returning, duller than ever.

***

Finn knew what the First Order was capable of, especially when they wanted information from someone, but it was never any easier to see. Especially when it was someone he cared about.

He watched you struggle to coordinate your legs, having been kept in the same position for hours. Rey moves ahead, drawing her lightsaber in anticipation while Finn half carries you down the hallway.

He’s worried at the amount of blood you’ve lost from your arm, but your face is swollen and bruised, with dried blood at the corner of your mouth, and staining the collar of your shirt. You’re still conscious, just about, but your eyes don’t seem to be focusing.

The three of you pass the bodies of the two stormtroopers who were unlucky enough to be guarding your corridor, before sneaking out. Ducking into alcoves, they attempt not to be caught, although it’s hard to stop you from making noise.

If it’s not moans of pain, you’re commenting on something under your breath, and what little Finn can hear doesn’t seem to make sense. The look on Rey’s face tells him that she doesn’t get it either.  

And they’re so close, nearly back to the hangar, when a pair of troopers spot them. Rey is already swinging as Finn rushes to put you down before he can draw his lightsaber and help. The fight is desperate, but brief. Thankfully no alarms seem to be going off, although that thought flies from Finn’s head when he looks back at you.

You’ve slumped against the wall where Finn had placed you, and you’re shaking as you try and stay sat upright. You’re no longer looking at them, instead your brow is furrowed, concentrating on something only you can see in front of you.

Finn isn’t entirely sure how they managed to make it onboard, but he wasn’t about to complain, carefully strapping you to help keep you upright if you faint. He uses the small med-kit to wipe away the blood from your face and arm as best as he can, applying bacta patches where he can see injuries, the familiar sweet smell soon filling the small ship.

Rey is quickly in hyperspace, comming back to base with their status. “Blue-10 with the Lieutenant, medical attention will be needed on arrival.”

Both Rey and Finn jolt with surprise at the familiar voice crackling through the comms in response. “Received and understood Blue-10.”

“Poe?” Finn mouths, and Rey just shrugs. A second later, Poe’s switched to a private channel, his voice quiet.

“How is she?”

Rey and Finn look at each other, unsure how much Poe needs to know. They don’t want to lie, but how can they tell the truth? Rey clicks the private channel open, hesitating before she replies. “She’s stable Poe.”

***

Waking up hurts.

You’re lying down, and although your body hurts, you feel calmer. There’s a steady noise matching the beat of your heart, slow and steady, although the noise speeds up as you blink at the ceiling.  

You’re not sure if you’ve got a plan, but you know you need to get free. Something is holding you down, becoming more and more tangled around you, and your whole body hurts.

And then, suddenly the weight is pulled off you, and you feel like you can breathe again, big gasps failing to get more oxygen into your lungs. You struggle to control your breathing, not feeling ready to face whatever new terror the First Order have concocted for you.

It’s Rose. Holding a brown blanket.

You push yourself into a sitting position, ignoring the flare of pain in your arm, waiting for a second, hardly daring to breathe as you wait for her to change in front of your eyes.

When she doesn’t, you can feel some of the panic recede, although you can’t seem to force yourself to relax. Rose folds the blanket, placing it at the foot of your bed, and you watch her carefully, still wary.

When she meets your eyes, you attempt a smile, pain pulling at your mouth and cheek as you do so. You can tell it’s not convincing by the way she smiles back, tears flooding her eyes.

You look away, blinking heavily to stop your own tears.

Your head and shoulders are raised slightly, and when you look down, you’re wearing a paper-thin hospital gown. It’s scratchy against your skin, feeling like bugs burrowing into you. Rose is sitting next to you, tinkering with something she’s placed on your bedside table, hands hovering just above her lap, like she wants to help, but doesn’t want to overstep.

“Hey.” Her voice is soft. “How are you feeling?”

You nod, not sure what you’re feeling, exactly, just that your hands are shaking when you try and put them on top of the covers, that you’re shivering, and your stomach is rolling.

You open your mouth to tell Rose so, and you throw up.

It’s warm, and liquidy and the smell makes you throw up again, and again. Rose has jumped back, and you don’t blame her, rolling your body to your side so you can spit the rising bile out of your mouth onto the floor instead of onto the mess on your bed.

By the time you’ve stopped being sick, Rose is standing at the end of your bed with a pair of nurse-droids, who escort you to a bath, cleaning you up, and then to a different bed, this time with a bowl in reaching distance. You don’t say anything, hot shame creeping up your neck and face, and hoping, praying, that maybe you’ll pass out again, and you won’t remember this.

No such thing happens, and you’re left to be looked after by the droids. Rose never leaves you, although for the period of time you’re covered in sick, she does keep her distance, only returning when you’re clean in bed again, this time wearing a softer t-shirt and shorts.

It’s only when one of the nurse-droid’s returns, arms full that you notice it. It’s carrying a vase of flowers, which Rose later tells you is from your squadron, and, in it’s other hand, carries a familiar datapad, with a piece of paper on top and a chocolate pudding.

Poe’s been here?

You can’t stop the way your heart stutters in your chest at the thought, and although you want to smell the chocolate, you think that’s probably a good thing you can’t with the state of your stomach at the moment.

The nurse-droid hooks you up to various machines this time, inserting a drip into your non-injured arm, along with a heart monitor, and a couple of other machines you don’t know the purpose of.

Your head still hurts, and you’re shaking, but you try your best to listen to the doctor who checks your vitals are normal and tells you that you’re going to get worse before you get better. The drug they gave you is an addictive one, and the next 5 days are going to hurt.

She keeps telling you things, but you start to zone out as black spots appear in your vision. Rose is nodding in understanding at your side, so you don’t feel too bad, concentrating on just staying awake.

All you can think about is the drug and how light it made you feel, how quickly it made time pass. Every movement hurts, like you fell 50 foot out of an x-wing, but aside from your arm, you can’t see any physical damage.

You fall in and out of sleep, Rose a constant presence at your side. She’s tinkering with something the first few times you wake, and she explains what it is, and what’s wrong with it to distract you from the pain. You ask the occasional question, enjoying the steady sound of her voice, while yours is croaky and hoarse.

When you wake with a clearer head, the lights are dimmed to a soft yellow, and Poe is asleep, head resting on the foot of your bed. Rose is gone and you’re glad; you don’t know how long you’ve been in bed, and you hope she’s getting some rest or proper food.

His flight suit is wrapped around his waist, top half covered by a dark t-shirt. If you bend your head to a certain angle, the light catches on his necklace around his neck. Poe looks exhausted, his body twisted at a weird angle, thick stubble growing on his face, and eyes red-rimmed, even as he sleeps.

Trying not to jostle him, you reach out to the datapad and unfold the note Poe left on top, avoiding the chocolate pudding like the plague.

Enjoy the chocolate pudding, Finn is bullying me to get some rest.

I’ve downloaded a couple of holovids, see you soon Poe x

You’ve never seen his handwriting before, and it’s easier to read than you’d imagined, thinking he’d be the type to write in a messy scrawl, his hand unable to keep up with his thoughts.

It’s short, but something about it makes a warmth flare inside you. You read it until you know it off by heart, before folding it back up and placing it on the datapad.

You still feel tired, and you watch Poe sleep, the room silent except for the steady beeping of the machines at your side. You’re not sure how much time passes, the world around your bed feeling hazy as you half doze, not wanting to tear your eyes away from Poe, hardly daring to believe he’s real.

You jolt awake when he does, his arm reaching across your legs as he grasps your calves in a panic. One of the machines beeps increases with your heart rate, but you ignore it, you and Poe staring at each other, wide-eyed, as though a quick movement will make the other bolt.

His hands are still holding your legs, warm and grounding.

“How are you feeling?” His voice is hoarse as he slowly releases his hands.

You nod, and you hadn’t noticed it before, but your neck is stiff. “Good, I guess.”

Poe nods too, and where did this tension come from? He takes a breath as you look down at the hem of your blanket, idly wondering why the medbay would buy such a horrendous shade of brown.

Maybe it’s to hide stains.

You immediately wish you hadn’t thought that, the implications freaking you out a little, upsetting your sensitive stomach.

“I … I wanted to apologise.” Poe’s voice thankfully breaks through your increasingly worrying train of thought. His hand fly’s up to touch his ring. “I clearly crossed a boundary - I thought we were friends and -”

You interrupt him when you throw up, thankfully into the bowl the nurse-droid left this time, but it’s no less embarrassing as bile stings the back of your throat. Poe immediately moves up closer to you, hand reaching to rub your back as you try and hide in vain from him.

His hand is warm and comforting, moving slowly up and down your back as you continue to heave. When you finish retching, Poe silently hands you a glass of water, which you use to swill your mouth out, moving to place the now semi-full bowl to the other side of you when Poe takes it from you.

You can hardly bear to look at it, let alone smell it, and Poe is carrying it like it’s nothing, taking for the nurse-droids to dispose of. When he returns, he’s wiping his hands with a disinfectant and you wince.

“Poe I’m so sorry.” You decide to risk a sip of water, trying to get rid of the sick taste still in your mouth. “I’ve been sick all day and I’m sorry.” You’re ready to keep apologising but Poe just hands you a towel, which you use to wipe your mouth.

“It’s ok.” He reaches down for the blanket, and you let him tuck you in, suddenly aware that you’re shivering again. He reaches for his datapad, opening it and beginning to talk. He’s reading a children’s story, one you recognise as being from Yavin IV, a sweet story about a frog learning of the perils of the jungle.

Your eyes get heavier, and Poe’s voice fades into the background, the last you hear is the frog swimming in freshwater, unaware of the danger around the corner before you fall asleep.

***

When you wake, he’s gone, but you don’t get much chance to think about it before the nurse-droids are back, along with the doctor. She’s a nice woman, chattering away, telling you her name (Dr Alloso Karga), about her children (she’s got lots), and the trouble they get into (almost constant).

You don’t say much, still feeling the after-effects of the drug, but Dr Karga doesn't seem to need much additional input. You’re glad of her stories, they give you something else to think about while she hooks you up to an IV drip, and takes measurements from all the machines beeping at your side.

She unwraps the bandage around your left arm, revealing a thin scar running alongside one of your veins. “I’ll give you a cream to rub on every morning and night, and it’ll fade.” Her voice is kind as she watches your face, but you don’t react, numbness spreading through you like ice as you look at the scar.

All you can think is how small it is, when you remember the pain it caused, and the blood you lost from it … and now you’re left with this tiny, almost pathetic scratch. Dr Karga places the cream on your side table, next to Poe’s datapad and his note, and you already know you won’t use it.

Thankfully she doesn’t push the topic, leaving soon after.

With not a lot else to do, you fall back asleep, despite the bright light shining in through the window opposite you.

Days pass like this. Rose and Poe are frequent visitors, with Rey and Finn dropping in occasionally, as does Kare, and Jannah. No one seems to expect much of you, which is nice, allowing you to fall asleep at random intervals when the mood strikes you.

***

When you wake again you’re not sure how many days you’ve been in the medbay for. You don’t feel sick at all anymore, your stomach’s rumbling beneath the covers. Your head still hurts, and your body still feels bruised and achy, but your mind feels clearer than it has in days.

You’re still hooked up to a couple of machines, but only by a clip to your finger, wires extending down past the edge of your bed. It’s easy to take off, and you figure it’ll be easy to put back on again.

The chocolate pudding left by Poe has disappeared, and you suspect one of the nurses has binned it, which was probably a good idea. Swinging your legs over the side of the bed, you pause when a rush of cool air hits your bare legs.

You pad barefoot over the cold medbay floor, praying that it’s clean. There’s no one else in any of the other beds in your room, and when you look out, there doesn’t seem to be anyone next door either. A couple of hundred meters to your left, through the glass in a pair of double doors, you can see the busy reception. Meanwhile, to your right the corridor extends.

You shiver a little. You’re not wearing much, just shorts and a thin t-shirt. With no one around, you don’t feel too exposed, but you would quite like to get back to bed. You choose to go right, figuring you’d quite like to eat alone and save yourself any embarrassment if your stomach decides to reject food again and wander casually in quiet curiosity.

You peek through the windows of various spare rooms, some with people in bacta tubes, others with droids chittering away. And, it’s only when you turn the corner, that you see the food sign over the door to a small storeroom.

Letting out a happy little sigh at all the food lining the wall, you fumble for the light switch, the door closing and quickly engulfing you in the darkness.

Moving forwards you aim for the chocolate which has immediately caught your eye, letting out a shriek of panic when a hand lands on your shoulder.

Twisting around in panic, your bare foot catches on the corner of a shelf and you let out a howl of pain. You’re falling, and you’re gonna land on your injured arm when the stranger’s hands grab hold of your shoulders, righting you enough that you can catch yourself.

Muttering breathless ow’s of pain, you look up to see none other than Poe in front of you, his lips twisted in amusement.

“You alright?” He asks.

You can only nod, and before you feel any doubt about what you want to do, you fling your arms around his neck and hug him. He’s so sturdy, and here, and you finally feel semi-normal, and all you want is to be grounded.

Poe doesn’t say anything, just lets out a long-suffering sigh, wrapping his arms around you in response. It’s not until you feel his chest catch on a breath, that you unwind slightly, pulling back so you can see him.

He’s crying.

“Poe, Poe, it’s ok.” You wrap him back in your arms and let him cry. He just holds you tight, like he can’t believe you’re really here standing in front of him. Both too soon, and too late, he pulls back, wiping at his eyes.

“Why are you in here?”

It’s a genuine question, but you marvel at him for a second. “Why are you in here?”

Poe looks like he would quite like to say something he thinks is funny, but eventually lands on on a serious response. “I wanted to see what you were up to. You looked very shady.”

“Oh.” You shrug. “I woke up, and I was starving.”

Poe stands next to you as you grab whatever looks good off the shelves, mainly chocolate, but also juice, and some sandwiches. “You should look after yourself.” His voice is gentle.

“I am!” You protest. “I need to eat.”

“You couldn’t have asked for help?”

You raise an eyebrow at him as the two of you move to the door. Poe follows you as you try to explain yourself. “No, I-”

You stop talking as you open the door by a crack, your eyes widening. Rose is stood in the room opposite, slightly blurred from the glass door, running her hand up and down Jannah’s arm, while the other is in a sling.

You gasp as you watch Rose lean forwards, placing a kiss on her lips, hushing Poe behind you. “Poe, Poe, Poe, look at this, are you watching?”

Your whisper is loud and you grin, bouncing on the balls of your feet, momentarily forgetting your aches, before quickly closing the door as Rose and Jannah move closer to kiss. You don’t want to invade their privacy too much.

When you turn, Poe’s grin grows as he takes in your face. “I knew it!” You dump the contents of your arms onto the floor, settling in for a while. “I knew they liked each other!”

He’s managed to get his leather jacket back from Finn, and he takes it off, laying it on the floor for you to sit on. You tuck your feet under you, glad to get them off the cold floor.

The two of you eat together, and you gain confidence as more time passes and your stomach seems to have settled, branching out to more flavourful foods.

Afterwards, he walks you back to your bed, carrying some spare food for you, with his leather jacket hanging off your shoulders. Poe calls a nurse-droid over to hook you back up to your machines and you pout at him in complaint. You’re starting to shake and sweat again but Poe stays for as long as he can, until he has to go to a meeting, promising he’ll be back soon.

He’s not gone for long, and you’re just starting to get bored, when Rose pokes her head around the door.

“Where have you been?”

You can’t help yourself; you grin like a cheshire cat.

“Where have I been? I think I should be asking you that!”

And there’s a definite blush rising on Rose’s neck, tinting her cheeks a faint pink. She still tries to deny though. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” you draw it out, “I just so happened to be walking around earlier and was surprised to see that Jannah had managed to injure herself.”

Rose sighs and it’s long-suffering. And then she slumps into her chair, opens her mouth and tells you everything.

How she and Jannah had started to spend more time together, but they’d been friends for so long. How hugs for comfort turned into something more. How they’d kissed for the first time when Jannah had asked her out. And now, how it was turning into something more and, Rose’s voice went quiet here, she thought she might be in love.

“Oh Rose,” you sigh, your heart filling for your friend. “Are you gonna tell her?”

When she nods, it takes all your self-control not to jump up and hug her, instead settling for clasping her hands in yours. “I’m sorry.” Rose whispers. “Will you forgive me?”

Your heart stops, brief panic flickering in you. “What for?”

“That I didn’t tell you sooner.” A heavy sense of guilt starts to weigh down your chest, especially as Rose looks so distraught.

“No! It’s fine,” you try and convince her. “You wanted to wait until you were sure.”

Rose nods, but still looks upset, and you know what will cheer her up. “Besides, I'm not going to be cross. I kissed Poe.”

You wince at Rose’s shout. “What!” She stands, bending to give you a hug, and you breathe in the familiar scent of her shampoo. You grin, much more naturally now, glad she’s happy. You tell her everything in much the same way she told you, the first time you’d slept together, and then the next time, how you’d argued, what had happened in the store cupboard.

“Is he coming back?” Rose asks.

You shrug. “I don’t know. He said he would, but I don’t know when.”

Rose settles properly into her chair, resting her feet on the edge of your bed frame, looking smug. You last all of two seconds. “What?”

Rose just closes her eyes, looking more and more pleased with herself by the second. “I just love being right.”

You attempt to kick her, but there’s no malice behind it. You spend the rest of the time discussing the latest topic of interest on base (Snap and Kare’s wedding), and what a recruit had apparently said to Leia, laughing the whole time.

***

When Poe returns, he’s carrying two plates. Rose had left a while ago, and you were idly poking through Poe’s datapad, seeing which holovids he’d downloaded.

The two of you eat your dinner quietly, Poe finishing before you. “Can I ask you something?” He looks nervous in a way that you’re not sure you’ve ever seen on him before, eyes shifting down, while his fingers dance nervously in his lap.

You nod, still chewing, not wanting to rush your dinner and unsure how to make Poe feel more at ease. You have a feeling you know what he’s going to ask, and -

“Can we be friends?”

Oh.

You swallow faster than you should, letting out a small cough. You place what’s left of your dinner to one side, and put your hands over his. “I shouldn’t have said that.” You start.

Poe opens his mouth to respond, but you shake your head before he can. “No, don’t - don’t say anything, just listen.”

Deep breath, in and out.

“What I meant was … friends don’t sleep together, Poe. And I know we never talked about it, but I didn’t realise how much I liked you and,” You take another deep breath and when you speak again, your voice is smaller than normal. “I didn’t like the way you flirted with that recruit.”

Poe grins with his teeth. “So you were jealous?”

You look away, not quite ready for that conversation. “Poe.” His name is a warning, and you’re tired.

So Poe lifts your hands, enveloping them in his and gently kisses them. “Sorry.” It’s a murmur. “When we realised you were gone, I’ve … I’ve never been so frightened. I begged Leia to go and find you but she wouldn’t let me.”

You look back at his face. “Good.” His smile is gentle now, and at this moment, you prefer it. “And I’m fine now, Rey and Finn found me …”

Poe rolls his eyes. “You are not fine, you’re in the medbay.”

He doesn’t say anything for a beat, fiddling with the hem of your sheet, and just when you think he won’t say anything else, he speaks again, his voice quiet and sure.

“I like you too. A lot. And I would quite like it if we could go on a date?”

You don’t reply immediately, letting a slow smile open up your face, nodding, suddenly shy. You want Poe closer, moving to the far edge of the bed and opening the sheet in a clear invitation. “C’mon, get up here.”

It says a lot, you later think, how keen he was to climb in next to you. His body is so warm and reassuring next to yours, a solid presence of real proof, that someone cares about you so much that it doesn’t matter how gross you are when you’re ill, they’ll stay for as long as they can.

You wait until he’s tucked in next to you, desperately ignoring how the machine behind you starts beeping faster. “I would love to go on a date.”

And then you groan. “This is so embarrassing.”

Poe laughs, his body shaking next to you. “You have to finally admit you fancied me all along.”

“Well so do you.”

You’re looking at Poe as you say it, and you don’t miss how his breath hitches a little. His face moves closer to yours, and your tongue darts out to wet your lips as your mouth suddenly feels dry.

Your heart rate speeds up again behind you, but you’re ignoring it, wanting Poe to kiss you. You’re disappointed when he speaks instead. “I like this monitor.”

His eyes are smiling, and stars he’s cute, even if he is being annoying.  

“What?” You’re confused, your eyes had been half-closed in preparation, and it takes a lot of effort to open them again.

“It tells me what you think.” You don’t stop looking at Poe’s lips as he talks.

“Yeah?” You’re breathless. “And what am I thinking right now?”

“That you like me this close.”

You hum, half-amused, half-annoyed. “Anything else?”

“I think you want to kiss me.”

You pretend to think about it, smiling back at him. “Do you?”

“Yes.” He’s so keen. “Do you?”

“I thought you knew the answer to that.” You’re teasing him, and he knows it. Your faces are closer than ever, breath mingling.

And Poe’s just looking at you like he could eat you, and it takes mere seconds before you crack. “Poe will you kiss me?”

“I was going to.”

You huff. “When?”

His hand cradles your jaw, thumb on your chin, and you bend into it, kissing his palm without breaking eye contact. “It won’t hurt you?”

You smile at him, reassured. “No.”

You can tell he’s still hesitant, so you kiss his hand again. “I’ll tell you if it hurts Poe.”

He inches closer and closer, so slowly, until his lips are touching yours. It’s soft, and gentle, like he’s kissing you for the first time. His hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer to him, as you open your mouth, deepening the kiss.

The date is a success, with the worst part enduring Rose’s teasing, and your promise to never doubt her again.

***

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@lady-sigyn @foxilayde @afootnoteinyourhappiness @tellthemall-i-saidhi @wasicskosgirl @seninjakitey @zoriis @zazzysseoul @studentville-struggles

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Aaaaah I’ve finally finished! This has been such a blast to write (but not chapter 5 lmao) and I’ve learned so much about my writing style and what i struggle with (plot I’m looking at you). This series started as a short one-shot which was going to be divided into 4 sections, detailing how reader and Poe’s relationship changed, and what I’ve ended up with is so so so different - my original outline had no kidnapping and was wildly different honestly, but I’m really proud of this - back in June/July i hardly had the patience/concentration to sit and finish a one-shot, let alone a whole series! Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story, I love you all!

[solohux]

Hey Lottie idk if you're still accepting prompts for pregnant hux lol but if not it's aight i'd like your take on it. So Hux is due to give birth any day now and like he feels he's in labor but every time he and Kylo visit their nearby med center they say he isn't so they go home and wait. But what if suddenly a thunderstorm hits where they live and curse their luck Hux goes into labor lol what do you think will happen?

Peperit Centrum is the best medcentre in the galaxy for obstetrics. For centuries, kings, queens and consorts have come here to birth their heirs and receive outstanding care from the specialist medics so it only makes sense that Emperor Hux should want to give birth to his son here.

“Not in labour, they said,” the Emperor says through gritted teeth, taking Kylo’s hand to squeeze through the pain, grumbling to himself with one hand on his heavily pregnant belly. “Come back later, they said. I should have pulled out my blaster and made them take me to a birthing room.”

Kylo smirks, speaking in jest, “We’re all very grateful that you kept your temper in check, my liege.”

“You’re unnervingly calm about this, Ren.” Hux says, his voice drowned out by a roar of thunder outside. “I’m in labour!”

“I know,” Kylo is grimacing now as his husband’s grip on his hand becomes almost unbearable, squeezing the life out of it as another contraction crashes like a wave. “I think you’re panicking enough for the both of us.”

The thunderstorm has brought most of the sector to standstill. It’s the biggest that the area has seen for almost a hundred years; Hux curses the weather system for wanting to take the attention away from his son’s birth day. This was meant to be a day of celebration; Hux had planned it all down to the tiniest detail—even what music he wanted playing in the labour room as his prince was born—but the experts at the medcentre had deemed him too early and not in labour. And now, his son is going to be born in the royal bedchambers…on the same sheets that he was conceived on.

“I hate this,” Hux says, holding back tears. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

“But it’s the best we can do, my love,” Kylo says, kissing Hux’s hand. “You’re almost there.”

The royal medics who live in the palace are general practitioners, unqualified to help a person through labour so the most they can do is remain on stand-by and offer pain relief, though the Emperor has declined all of it in fear of what it may do to his baby. Even the best droid at their disposal has a limited knowledge of labour but it’s done well so far, thrumming soothing tones as it reports on the progress.

“The Supreme Leader is correct, Emperor,” the feminine-programmed voice says. “Almost there.”

“Don’t let go,” Hux whispers before crying out, squeezing on Kylo’s hand again.

“I’m right here,” Kylo says, pressing his forehead against Hux’s and taking a long, deep breath.

Hux doesn’t feel any pain with the next few pushes; he feels like he’s floating in Kylo’s arms, being carried across a beach to the gentle ocean waves where calmness waits. There’s no sound, no voice comes out of Hux’s mouth when he tries to say his husband’s name. Squinting against the sun, Hux looks up to Kylo, finding him as beautiful as ever as he carries him towards the sea.

A baby’s cry fills the air. Hux blinks and he’s back in the royal bedchambers, staring between his open legs to where his newborn son is being held and cleaned by the droid.

“A boy,” the droid is saying. “A boy, your highnesses. He is healthy. He is well.”

“Ren,” Hux gasps, allowing his tears to finally fall once his son is placed on his chest, screaming to let everyone know that he’s here and he’s Kylo Ren’s son. “He…he—!”

“I know,” Kylo says, sounding out of breath too but Hux is too emotional to do anything but hold his baby boy and kiss his head. “I’m so proud of you, Armitage.”

The room flashes with the light of a fork of lightning and thunder echoes, but somehow the baby’s cry is louder. He seems so tiny when Kylo cups his head, leaning in to kiss him and then Hux, though the latter barely has enough strength to reciprocate.

“Raiden,” Hux says, gently touching the baby’s head that already has a few dark hairs on it. “Raiden Hux-Ren.”

“That wasn’t what we agreed,” Kylo says but doesn’t sound upset. “But I like it. Raiden. It’s strong.”

“It’s thunder in Arkanisian. It…suits him.”

Another flash, another rumble. In Hux’s arms, Raiden settles.

Kylo sighs, “I think he agrees.”

[countessren]

STAR WARS DIALOGUE PROMPTS

1. “You can’t always do everything on your own”

2. “That’s not how the force works”

3. “Everything I have built, and you would dare to betray me?”

4. “Don’t look at me like that”

5. “How very romantic of you” “I try my best, sweetheart”

6. “Are you capable of saying more than one word?”

7. “Let’s make a deal” “No thank you, I prefer living”

8. “Don’t do this”

9. “You’re more than a man behind a mask you know”

10. “Could you give me a hand?” “I could, but will I?”

11. “You don’t know me”

12. “I love you” “I know”

13. “Give me one good reason why I should trust you”

14. “I would do anything for you, you know that right?”

15. “Can you stay, please?” “Of course”

16. “You can’t be serious right? You expect me to do the impossible”

17. “I need more than one drink to put up with your crap”

18. “We are stranded here together, so we may as well work together to get off this rock alive”

19. “I’m too tired to deal with all your negativity”

20. “Who did this to you?”

21. “What do you mean that ‘you broke the ship’?”

22. “In this profession, you get used to people leaving you”

23. “Why are you so insistent on me wearing this?”

24. “You need to sleep”

25. “Don’t. Move.”

26. “Don’t you die on me”

27. “I’m sorry...I’m so, so sorry”

28. “I know you hate me, but this is taking it too far”

29. “I don’t care what you think of me, I only care about what others would think of us”

30. “I want you to promise me that you will come back to me alive” “You know me, I’ll try”

31. “Stay close to me”

32. “If we get caught, just know that I will blame you”

33. “You are mine and mine only, understand?”

34. “Move” “Make me”

35. “You will regret ever hurting her, that I promise you”

36. “You never cared about me before, so why start caring now?” “...because I love you”

37. “Give me a chance to make it up to you” “I did, and you blew it”

38. “Why should I trust you” “Because I just saved your life, and showing some respect would be nice”

39. “You’re injured” “I’m fine”

40. “Tell me something, why is it that you always come to me to fix your problems?”

41. “H-Help me...please”

42. “I can’t...you’re asking too much of me”

43. “If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that you don’t underestimate me”

44. “If you move that blaster an inch closer to my face you are going to lose that hand”

45. “If you don’t let her go right now, I swear I will break every bone in your body”

46. “My life would be so much harder without you”

47. “You almost died, you...you stopped breathing”

48. “If we are going to work together, can you at least have more than a one-word conversation with me?” “No”

49. “I can’t let you do this alone”

50. “Thank you for opening up to me, I’m proud of you”

51. “Tell me what to do” “Don’t leave me”

52. “I’ve definitely seen more stranger things than this”

53. “Don’t move too much, you’ll hurt yourself”

54. “I can’t believe you”

55. “Tell me something I don’t know” “Your eye twitches when you get annoyed” “Only because it’s you that annoys me”

56. “Just...don't do anything stupid” “I’ll try but I can’t guarantee anything”

57. “Let. Her. Go”

58. “Don’t tell me what to do” “Well someone has to otherwise you’ll likely get yourself killed”

59. “Would you like me to be honest or would you like me to sugarcoat it for you?” “Sugarcoat it” “Okay then, well...I can’t do this, we’re screwed”

60. “Is that my shirt?” “You can’t prove anything”

61. “I think he likes you”

62. “I’m the best damn pilot in the galaxy” “I think you missed putting the word ‘second’ in there somewhere”

63. “Where are you taking me?” “You need to relax more. You need to see the world around you, and find some sort of peace within yourself...even if it is just for a little while”

64. “Tell me why I should stay” “Because I need you...I...I’m not good with this sort of stuff”

65. “Under no circumstances are you to leave this ship. You’ll hurt yourself even more”

66. “I’ve collected many bounties, but you are by far the strangest” “I’ll pretend not to be offended by that”

67. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner” “I’m alive, aren’t I? You had perfect timing”

68. “Don’t leave me alone, please. Not after...”

69. “Sleep, you’ve done enough for today”

70. “It’s pretty cozy in here” “We are in a holding cell” “I was trying to lighten up the mood, you just had to ruin it didn’t you”

71. “People assume that I’m not easily approachable. They are right, but still, they assume”

72. “These children adore you” “All you have to do is listen, and be attentive instead of using brute force half of the time” “Brute force is all I know” “That’s not what I see when you are with the kid”

73. “If I have to listen to one more damn excuse, I’m walking out of this room”

74. “The force works in mysterious ways”

75. “I can...I can um...give you hand...if you would like”

76. “What do I have to do in order for you to see that everything that I have done, I have done for you”

77. “That doesn’t go there” “Then where does it go?” “Not there! Put it back where you found it” “I found it right here!”

78. “I could be lying in a nice, warm and cozy bed right now. But no. Instead, I am stuck shivering in the freezing cold snow with you”

79. “Black doesn’t suit you” “It’s my uniform” “I meant what I said”

80. “One day. One day I’ll see who is behind that helmet” “In your dreams” “Maybe”

81. “If you lay one more hand on her, I swear I will tear you apart”

82. “It’s only a few bruises” “A few bruises too many”

83. “I’ll be fine. You need to focus on the mission at hand”

84. “I would rather die than tell you anything” “Well, don’t make my job any easier”

85. “I can’t lose you” “You won’t...you never will”

86. “All I want you to do is listen to me...I just...you always manage to get hurt and I...just please”

87. “I need you to know that you mean everything to me”

88. “You’re freezing” “I’m fine”

89. “How is it that you always manage to get me to defend your impulsive actions?”

90. “Pretend that there is no one else here but us”

91. “A lightsabre is one of the most dangerous weapons in the galaxy, you shouldn’t wield it around like its a toy”

92. “Put that down!”

93. “I’ve never felt like this before” “Like what?” “Like I’m going to be suffocated by your arms around my chest”

94. “You’re lying to me” “About what?” “About the compressor. It’s not broken, you just want me to ‘fix it’ so you can spend time with me”

95. “Don’t drag me into this, you dug this hole yourself”

96. “When this is over, I’m going to marry you” “I would certainly hope so, you dragged me into this in the first place”

97. “I love you more than words can say”

98. “Promise me one thing: that you will stay by my side no matter what is thrown our way. I promise, I will protect you from every threat, every danger, and from everyone that wishes to harm you”

99. “Don’t drop that, if you do you might blow up the planet”

100. “I’m not leaving you here...not this time. I love you”

Characters I write for: Cal Kestis, Han Solo, Kylo Ren, Artimage Hux, Poe Dameron, Cassian Andor, Anakin Skywalker, The Mandalorian, Luke Skywalker, Finn, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

DM or comment the number of the prompt/s and the character you want then with and I will have the prompt up as soon as I can.

[caiminnent]

rest in peace [pre-slash kylux, rated Gen]

PROMPT(S): forgetting to eat (@badthingshappenbingo, 14/25) & for @headwig1010

SUMMARY: Kylo is ready to perish for the sake of opening his grandfather's holocron if that's what it takes.

Hux won't have it.

FANDOM: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

TAGS: Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Canon Compliant, Protective Armitage Hux, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash, Mutual Pining, Holocrons (Star Wars), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping

1.2K || ALSO ON AO3

It’s not working.

It’s not working.

It’s not working.

It’s not working.

It’s not kriffing—

The holocron bounces off the durasteel with a clatter, rolling to a stop by the door.

He presses the heels of his hands into his sore eyes until he sees white, a scream lodged deep into his lungs. He just—he just doesn’t understand. He’s been meditating on it for over a week now, trying to get a feel for the ridges and cavities, to find an opening to sink his metaphorical nails into and rip the holocron open. Nothing so far. The Force surrounds the dodecahedron evenly, as if the box were all of one piece. He couldn’t even pinpoint where the kriffing lid is.

The urge to take his lightsaber to it grows stronger the longer he sits on the floor, but he wouldn’t disrespect his grandfather’s memory like that. If the holocron doesn’t open for him, he must be unworthy of the information inside it. He needs to try harder.

Stars, he’s so tired of trying.

On the other side of the door, the access panel beeps six times in quick succession.

Kylo jerks his head up from his hands with a crack in his neck as the door hisses open, his heart slamming in his ribcage. The blurry darkness clouding his vision gives way to Hux in the entrance, a mouse droid trailing in behind him.

Kylo’s stomach growls at the sight. Has he really been at it that long?

Stepping briskly inside, Hux pauses by the holocron, glancing down at it with a curl of his lips. An odd image of Hux kicking the box away with a sneer rises unbidden in Kylo’s mind, unease slithering through him, the Force coiled in his fingertips to call it back—

Hux half-kneels to pick it up. The tension eases off Kylo’s shoulders.

“It’s not going well, I presume?” Hux says, rolling it between his gloved hands. The sight of his elegant fingers around the gleaming crystalline tugs at a knot in Kylo’s chest. For the briefest moment, he imagines the box opening in Hux’s hands, his grandfather’s hologram appearing to them, imparting the wisdom it holds to both of them like a post-humous benediction.

Hux looks at him, raising his brows in expectation. Verbal answers, right.

“No,” Kylo admits, clearing his throat. Nothing is.

Hux nods once. “Time for a break, then,” he says with the finality of an order, pointing the mouse droid towards the table. It wheels over with a happy beep.

Grabbing the side of the couch, Kylo pushes himself up. That pins and needles feeling crawls up his legs immediately. Wincing at the sensation, he stumbles towards the refresher for his more pressing needs first, avoiding the mirror at the sink. If the sight of him however many days ago was enough to make Hux take pity on him, Kylo doesn’t want to know what he looks like now.

When he returns, Hux is already seated in his usual spot—Kylo should hate that Hux has a usual spot now, he really should—with two trays cooling on the table. His mouth waters. Even the mess chow Hux brings over is more appetizing than the ration bars Kylo’s been wolfing down when he remembered to.

Why Hux cares to keep him from withering away is still beyond Kylo. Given the man’s tendency towards overwork, he wasn’t sure Hux himself bothered to eat or sleep regularly, let alone concerning himself with Kylo’s wellbeing. It can’t be an order from Leader Snoke, either; his Master never particularly cared how hard Kylo pushes himself so long as the mission is accomplished.

He could ask Hux—if he weren’t so afraid of the answer.

They eat in silence, Kylo inhaling his dinner while Hux idly stirs his soup. When Kylo’s done, Hux switches their trays without a word. The holocron sitting by Hux’s free hand keeps drawing Kylo’s eyes, a temptation and a taunt both.

“Leave it for today,” Hux says. Kylo’s gaze snaps up to find Hux watching him with an odd look—one Kylo could call gentle on anyone else, though he doubts there’s a comforting bone in the General’s body. “Don’t push yourself further. You can try again tomorrow.”

The taste in Kylo’s mouth turns bitter. Stabbing at a cold protato wedge, “I’ve been trying for ages,” he grinds out, his appetite giving way to churning agitation in his stomach. “I can’t keep failing him like this.”

“Failing whom, Leader Snoke? Or Darth Vader?”

“Both.”

Hux folds his arms over the table, leaning closer. “Leader Snoke is too concerned with his own power to care for a dead man’s secrets, Ren—and your grandfather wouldn’t want you to work yourself to the bone over them.”

Wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t he want a grandson powerful like him, strong in the Force like him—a man worthy of the legacy Darth Vader left behind? “You didn’t know my grandfather.”

“Neither did you,” Hux points out, not unkindly. “He was already dead when you were born; he can’t have locked this holocron as a challenge for you. He won’t be proud of you for cracking it.” He tilts his head to meet Kylo’s downturned gaze. “Let me ask again: Whom do you think you are failing, Ren?”

Both of them, Kylo wants to repeat in his stubbornness, though it feels like a lie now. Neitherisn’t the answer, either. In truth, the wave of failure and disappointment that washes over him doesn’t come from any one direction; it comes from everywhere at once, overwhelming him, drowning him.

He shrugs weakly in answer. At Hux’s raised brow, “I don’t know,” he mutters into his tray, hackles raised. “Are you quite done with the interrogation? I’m fucking drained.”

“That was my point,” Hux says with a smug half-smile. Kylo itches to wipe it off his face. “All right, how about we make a deal?”

“I would trade my left arm for you to stop asking questions.”

Hux chuckles, signaling at the droid to clear out the table. A weight seats itself under Kylo’s ribs. “Well, to your luck, I had something much simpler in mind. We will stop with the questions for now, as is your wish. In return…” He picks up the holocron again, thumbing a splatter of soup off it. “I’m holding onto this until you’ve got your answer.”

Irritation spikes in Kylo, dread curling in his guts. Can’t Hux make one thing simple? “What do you care?” he spits, damn the consequences. “What does it matter to you if I kill myself over this?”

Hux clicks his tongue in disapproval. “We said no questions,” he reminds Kylo, pushing his chair back with a scrape. The droid rolls over to his side like an obedient pet. “Come and find me once you realize why you can’t open it. After that?” The holocron disappears in a wide pocket of Hux’s trousers. “I just might have an answer for you, too."

[thepaperpanda]

Sky Full Of Shooting Stars | Part I

PART II

Summary: You work for First Order and happen to be in a secret relationship with General Hux himself. When you find out some certain thing about your beloved man, you start to be seriously afraid of his life, and your own as well. Trying to come up with a backup plan, you show him all of affection and love he can get from you. Will the two of you survive the upcoming events?

Warnings: smut, tros spoiler

Words: 4006

Authors: Cass & Rouge

Soft, plate glass of long, metal table at which they sat shone in a light derived of a glowing sticks hanging under the ceiling.

 Atmosphere was thick like a mist that could be cut with a sharp blade of knife.

 Kylo Ren stood on the head of the table, his back facing all the people gathered in the room.

 Hux cleared his throat a little and looked around the room, his eyes landed on you. He sent you a little smile, just a brief curl of his narrow lips, and soon his glance moved to General Pryde. Hux sent him a frown. Hux's eyes were initially glued to your figure.

Behind the mask of always serious Hux's facade there was a pure panic rising in his guts. He knew that the information about the Resistance's spy among First Order was finally out but thanks to the force the identity of the said individual wasn't revealed yet.

 The drilling glance of Pryde on Hux's face didn't help much in calming his nerves but those emotions were still under some kind of control of his. General Pryde was a real threat to Hux since Ren's accession to Supreme Leader.

 "There's a spy among us," Ren roared. His voice was distorted by voice modulator from his mask. After these words Kylo threw the head of an alien who aided Resistance communicate with the aforesaid spy. "Me and Knights of Ren are going to hunt the scavenger down. And you better do fucking everything to find the traitor and cut their head off," Kylo snapped and left the room.

 You swallowed hardly and shifted a little in your place which was instantly sighted by Pryde.

"What are you all waiting for?! Back to work!," Gray-haired man shouted and got up.

 "You could keep your voice leveled, Pryde," ginger-haired general muttered getting up from his chair. "You aren't the only one here. Y/N, please with me. We still have the stuff to finish."

 Armitage made sure to pull you out from the range of other generals. Despite you being part of First Order, Hux hated to see you near anyone else but him.

 You were walking along the wide corridor of the Ren's Star Destroyer. A desperate willingness to hug to Hux almost won with you but you stopped your inner needs when you spotted a group of stormtroopers walking right onto you from opposite side of the ship.

 "General Hux," you referred to him formally enough to sound like a professional, "I'm afraid I'll have to excuse you though Allegiant General wants me on the bridge," your voice almost died down as soon as stormtroopers greeted both of you and passed you by.

 "Deputy Y/L/N, I don't care what Allegiant General wants from you. Right now I require your help," he said with a frown and he growled at stormtroopers as they passed by.

 Now, while being away from all other First Order scums he felt much calmer and safer but the fear was still settled deep down in his guts.

 After making sure the corridor was completely clear, he leaned closer towards you.

"I beg you, Y/N. Just stay with me."

 Your eyes were focused on his.

"You know it's impossible now," your voice was nothing more but a whisper. "If I won't comply, he'll shoot me without blink of an eye," you explained shortly and straightened your black shirt. "I can meet you in you chamber at night. You better get away from their sight now."

 Your hand was placed on his shoulder where you gently squeezed.

 Armitage didn't want to let you go, he was afraid to do so.

 Hux was apprehensive of his and your life, yours was the most important to him. While his life was miserable since the day he was born and there was no time nor chance for any type of redemption for him, you never did anything bad to deserve the faith that might have encountered you just because of being with him.

 In a desperate move, Hux cupped your cheeks and pulled you into a brief kiss. It was as gentle as touch of wings of a butterfly.

"Just come back here, to me, do you understand, deputy Y/L/N?"

 Hux watched you leave, his mind was racing in a frantic ways as he tried to somehow come up with an idea to save your life at least but to do so he would probably need some kind of miracle.

 Reluctantly Armitage turned on his hill to walk away as well, yet this short moment of calmness was quickly broken by the sight of Pryde's face.

Hux only wanted to return to his chamber at that time.

 "General Hux," older man snapped viciously with a mischievous grin dancing in corners of his lips. "Why are you stopping my officer while she has a lot of things to perform yet?," Pryde asked lowering his voice and coming closer to Hux.

 Hux forced himself to straighten his back, making sure to look as cold and unshaken as always, even if deep inside he literally was whimpering and begging for all of this to end.

 "As far as I know, she isn't yours, Pryde," Armitage answered with his usual voice. "I keep my guard over her since she joined, so please, stop usurp control over mine units."

 Pryde's devious eyes seemed to penetrate Hux's soul through-and-through.

"Don't play with me, you fucking dirtbag. You're nothing like your father, he'd be ashamed of who you've become. I know more than you think, I'm a good observer," he whispered right into Armitage's ear when he stopped next to him. "And that pathetic slut, running around and answering to every call of yours? You think I'm blind? She's only useful when she's on her knees, isn't she?," He laughed darkly.

 "If my poor scumbag of a father knew what or rather who helped his life come to the end, he would be more proud than ever before," Hux muttered looking at the older man. "And this slut, as you called her, is more useful around here than you ever have through your whole carrier."

Hux smiled at another man, improving gloves on his pale hands. "I have my ways, Pryde, so call Deputy Y/L/N a slut again and I will gladly watch how your body dissolve in bacta tank just like old Brendol did. Hope I made myself clear."

 "We'll see so soon who is gonna last longer," Pryde smirked Hux's words off and passed him by only to stop few steps further. "Remember, Hux, I keep my eyes on you."

 After these words man left to bridge, leaving Armitage alone on the corridor.

 -------------------

 The rest of the day was too hard for Hux. He shuffled into his room earlier than ever, happy like never before.

 The chamber gave him a lot of comfort as it was the only private place at the ship and this was what he needed after a day full of pretending.

 Dropping off he heavy coat he marched slowly to take a shower.

The whole process always was calming his nerves down and helping him relax, the simple sensation of the water running down his tensed back was a blessing.

 After that, he walked to the bed, dressed only in the towel and flopped on it, comply exhausted from the troubles of the day and life in general.

 Armitage got himself comfortable and checked the hour, looking at the time already made the feeling of excitement settled in his stomach.

 Hux always looked forward to your arrival, it was a moment worth going through the whole mess called First Order.

 Hour later, in the middle of the night, the door to his chamber opened.

 You stepped in being clearly exhausted but you managed to sent him a soft smile.

You grinned wider when Millicent jumped off the shelf to rub her sides against your leather boots.

 A soft smile played on Armitage's lips while he watched the scene, he was often imagining something like this to himself, he was projecting another version of your common life, just not in such an awful place.

 "She isn't the only one that is happy to see you, love," he said softly, sitting up on the bed properly, just the view of your body made him all warm inside.

 Taking black blazer off you let out a hum.

"Your face is shouting about rough day so I think not only mine was fucking awful," you stated and crouched to scratch Millicent's ear.

 "Every day is a rough since the one I was born, Y/N," Armitage said, getting up from the bed.

 He walked to you, wearing nothing more but a pair of black boxers. When he got close enough, his hands wrapped around your waist and he pulled you closer to himself.

"My life is full of endless pain and suffer but there is a little ray of hope and happiness that shines in my bed every night," Armitage said, looking right into your eyes.

 As soon as you climbed on your tiptoes, you placed a gentle kiss to his jaw.

"Ruthless general in the streets, sweet, charming man in the sheets, aren't you?," You teased him wrapping arms around his neck and brushing your cheek against his. "I missed you so much. Pryde was talking to Ren as soon as he came back. Apparently it wasn't anything good, and I'm being afraid constantly, about you..."

 Armitage purred and nuzzled to you, he never wanted to let you go. His arms tightened around you as he kept you close.

"Of course he did, I am getting more and more worried about you, love. Your safety is important to me," Hux said as he ignored your words, his hand traveled to your cheek. "Let's just...," Hux stopped for a moment looking at you. "Let's get to bed, it's late and I really need you, Y/N."

 "Oh, do you? Is my general in a need?," You whispered softly as your hand traveled to his nape where you gently scratched his skin with nails.

 "Please, don't joke around, Y/N. Not tonight," his voice was a quiet beg.

Soon he pulled you into a kiss full of all the wild emotions filling his soul.

 As two of you were kissing, your hand traveled down to his lower back only to move on his crotch where you stroked him through material of his boxers.

 Hux simply purred loudly into the kiss, despite his fragile-looking body he picked you up easily and walked back to bed with you.

 Placing you gently on the mattress, he towered over you and pulled away.

"I have no idea what I did to deserve you," Armitage hummed as his kisses moved to your neck and shoulder, they quickly changed into little bites.

 Unbuttoning your shirt, you sent him a grin and let out a moan as he played with you.

"You've trained me and seduced me, I might be mistaken with order," you chuckled softly watching his actions.

 Your free hand slipped inside of his boxers where he grabbed his half-erected cock and pumped it few times.

 Armitage growled and bit your neck particularly hard to make sure you won't forget it, then he looked at you.

"I asked you something, didn't I? I am really not in the mood for your jokes, love," he said with a frown, removing your hand from his boxers, he started to place kisses down your chest and stomach.

 You bit your lower lip as you observed him.

 Truth was that being with him wasn't easy, him being a jerk most of times wasn't helping as well but somehow you managed to get along with Hux and vice versa. And you couldn't lie to yourself, his coldness and imperviousness were turning you on.

 Hux quickly undressed lower part of your body and dove between your legs, placing them on his shoulders.

His moves slowed, his skilled tongue circled your clit. Armitage wasted no time and soon three of his long, slender fingers slipped inside of you while he continued insult on the sensitive bundle of nerves.

 Your back arched and head rolled back when you let out a loud moan of pleasure. Slipping hands into his ginger hair, you tugged on them lightly trying to pull his face even closer to your pussy.

"Keep going and you'll make me cum here and now," you warned with a loud gasp.

 He hummed against your clit, sending you some vibrations.

"That's the whole point, don't you think, love?," Armitage looked at you briefly before returning to his work, his fingers started to move in and out faster, reaching deeper and deeper with every thrust.

 With shaking hand you grasped the dating sheets of his bed, your other hand tightened the grasp on his hair.

"Fuck me," you begged openly.

 "You didn't listen to me when I asked you not to joke. So, now? You will lie here until you cum," he told you briefly, never stopping the movement of his fingers.

 Feeling the extending sensation on your abdomen, you rolled head back and moaned.

His name was the only thing to escape your parted lips as you rolled hips for more friction.

 Soon, Hux could feel how your inner walls clenched around his fingers and your glistening juices started to flow out of your core, covering his fingertips.

 "Now, you see? It wasn't so hard, love," Hux grinned and sat up, licking his fingers clean. "On your belly, ass up," Armitage ordered and got up from bed to remove his boxers.

 Blush hit your cheeks out of sudden, you wasn't expecting this of him.

 Armitage was a type of a man who loved to be in charge and you'd do whatever it takes to make your man happy.

 You rolled on your belly and stack your butt up for him, shaking it a little.

"Fuck me, general. I was dreaming about you for entire fucking day!," You encouraged as you grabbed his pillow to rest your breasts and head on it.

 Armitage looked at you, lighting up a cigarette. He smacked your ass and released a cloud of smoke through his nose.

"I don't know, you were a real brat today, love," he muttered, yet his hand traveled to his cock to stroke himself as he watched your naked body.

 You rolled on our back and grimaced angrily as your glance slipped to his unleashed cock. Licking your lips you glared up at man.

"General, your day was tough, so let your deputy help you relax properly. Shall I remind you how tight and wet this pussy is, and all this just for you?," You rolled on your belly again, shaking your butt again.

 "Still, you were a fucking brat," man muttered before finishing his cigarette. Armitage joined you on the bed then. "And I hate when people disobey, Y/N."

Hux grabbed your hips and suddenly pushed his hard cock deep inside of you, he started with a brutal pace, giving you zero time to adjust to him.

 You thanked Force that you were laying on his soft pillow that muffled the loud scream which escaped your lips.

 It was delicious feeling, burning pain mixed with raging desire. Your pussy indeed was still tight, even after all those nights you had spent with Hux in his chamber.

 Hux grabbed your hair to pull your head back.

"Oh no, you are so smart and brave, so you will let the whole place hear you," Armitage ordered wrapping your hair tightly around his fist to make your head stay in the place.

Hux didn't slow down even a little.

"Come on, not so funny anyome, huh? Better move this pretty hand and rub yourself before I break your wrist."

 You licked your lips and moaned loudly. Hux's name rolled out of your lips few times before you licked two of your fingers. Your hand slipped between your parted thighs and you rubbed your clitoris viciously. Sensation was almost unbearable so you gasped with relief as you felt how wet you got for him.

"Just like this, oh fuck!," You grunted in high voice and these words were followed by another moan.

 Armitage growled, making sure to thrust as deep as it was only possible.

"Now be a good girl for fucking once and cum for me," he stated right into your ear, pulling on your hair even harder.

 You used all of your strength to get on your knees and roll your hips for him, allowing his shaft to penetrate your tight pussy as much as he wanted.

You reached one hand back to wrap it around general's neck, and other grabbed his hand that was placed on your hip and moved it right between your thighs.

 General smiled and kissed your arm.

Not so long after his moves became sloppy and man slowed his pace down just a little.

Meantime, his fingers were rubbing over your swollen clitoris as he started to kissing your neck in attempt of searching over your pulse point.

"You see what you're doing to me, now I am going to fill you up, love," he growled loudly and did as he said. His hips stuttered and man filled you up to the brim with his warm, thick cum.

 You bit inside of your cheek as you felt his full lips brushing over your heated skin.

 Loud scream mixed with moan left your parted lips as you rolled head back, resting it over his chest.

 When you felt how his cock started throbbing, almost in the same time your pussy started to clench spasmodically, rhythmically, triggering his cum. As soon as he shot his load in your heated core, your release overwhelmed your body and you trembled all over your features as your cums mixed within your pussy.

"Oh, Gosh," you mumbled with shaking voice.

 Hux chuckled and kissed your cheek.

"You see? For once you were indeed a good girl," man praised and sighed, slowly pulling his flopped cock out of you. Rubbing his face, Hux lied down.

 You gasped sadly at the emptiness in your still heated core and quickly joined him, placing your head on his chest, kissing wherever you could reach.

 Hux sighed softly and looked at the ceiling, his hand gently played with your hair to massage your scalp after pulling on your hair. He didn't say a word, after some time of calmness the dark thoughts returned back to him.

 "Have you ever thought about let go of all this?," You whispered, enjoying his touch. "I wish we could just... Escape."

 Armitage only shook his head.

"This is a ridiculous idea, Y/N. Time to sleep," he said and looked at you. "There is no escape."

 You frowned at his words and tilted head to look him in the eyes. "What do you mean, no escape? It's easier than you think. And it's what we should have done months ago," you said.

 He chuckled.

"If it was so simple then why have I spent my whole life on here, being buried in this shit? Huh?," Hux snapped. "If it would be so easy I would have left earlier."

 He was right partially and you knew it deep inside yet didn't want to admit it.

Placing head back on his bare chest, you listened to his heartbeat for a while.

"I won't die here...," You whispered as cold shiver ran down your spine.

 He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed your forehead.

"You won't die, I will make sure to pull you out of here before they realize I am the spy," Hux whispered, rubbing your arm.

 You listened to him trying your best to calm yourself down.

"I am not going anywhere without you, Armitage," you stated firmly and sat up, covering yourself with his dating sheets. "You think I'll leave you for certain death? Never," you growled deeply, your hands clenched into fists. "I wouldn't be as brave as you are to spy First Order for Resistance. You're doing a good thing," you placed your palm on his shoulder and stroked him there. "If rumours are real and Palpatine is alive... He'll kill everyone as soon as he won't need us to fulfill his homicidal plan anymore. So none of us will walk out of this alive in the end..."

 "You are more important than I am, Y/N! Do you like it or not, I'll make sure that you are gone from here before storm will come!," He snapped at you loudly.

"And sadly rumors are true, Y/N," Armitage added.

 His tone brought tears into your eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere without the only person that keeps me alive through all that madness," you said openly as you got up from his bed and started dressing up. "If they'll find out about you, they'll kill you without blink of an eye, especially Ren or Pryde. And I won't be looking at this idly by."

 "You don't have to leave," Hux said like he wouldn't listen to the words you just said, his eyes never left your body. "Stay here tonight."

 "Did you listen to me?," You asked seriously and looked at him as you buttoned your shirt. "I'm not going to sit here, doing nothing, wasting time that we are already lacking," you told him and walked back to his bed to sit on the edge. "Please. Let's run away together. Before they'll realize what happened, we'll be safe at Resistance hideout."

 "Did you listen to me?," Hux asked you the same question, looking into your eyes. "There is no hope, if you want then run. For me there is no hope left."

 "Why are you like this? Why are you giving up so easily?!," You raised your voice as tears rolled down your cheeks.

 "I am not giving up, love. I am a realist, whatever will happen to me, it's already written somewhere above. Running away from it won't change anything," he shrugged.

 You didn't comment on his words, instead you got up and walked to the door. "I'm going to find access key to one of the Fighters," you informed him. "I'm not going to let them catch you."

 Millicent who was laying on the floor under general's bed got up and lazily stretched her back. Purring loudly she walked to you and rubbed herself against your legs once again.

 Armitage sighed deeply and said nothing, shaking his head gently.

 You gently pushed cat aside, then you left his chamber.

 Armitage watched you leaving his room.

He never wanted to make you cry, this never was his plan. All he has wanted was to make sure you were safe and happy, with or without him.

 Armitage knew that there was no hope for him and the fact you didn't accept it made him angry.

 "Fucking cunt!," He roared and pushed few books that were placed in his desk aside so they fell on the floor with rumble.

 Hux demolished his whole room, throwing and breaking every possible thing.

 Finally, when the anger vanished almost fully, he sank down to his knees watching the whole mess he made.

 Millicent who hid under his bed, joined him when he calmed down. Orange kitten simply meowed and patted Hux's leg with her little paw.

 General sat on the floor and took cat on his lap, he rubbed her under chin.

"What have I done, Millie? Why did I let her go? She's too young, too innocent...," Armitage whispered feeling like his heart was pounding hardly inside his chest.

 Cat looked up at him with its big eyes and meowed again like she would be judging his passivity but soon cat closed its eyes and rolled in a ball on his owner's lap.

 Hux let out a sigh and rubbed his temple.

I'll talk to her at morning, he promised to himself.

And we'll create a plan. Who's the meanest dick in the galaxy after all?! And I won't let Ren win.

Ever.

Pandies🐼: @imidarogerson @grossograsso @thewildgardensstuff @leven-and-ashley @la-verdura @bearded-steve-rogers @sebbystan-plantlover @atuckyismylife @krispyjellyfishzombie @personality-within @haseki-huricihan  @choppedgardenwhispers @vroobelek @lattimelka @chris-beamz @hidden-secrets69 @purepearls @volcanoxxx @kastrup-sofie @mikkal-akasaki @withoutashadowofhope @radbluebirdeagle @marvel-fan-site @smutloversblog @buquete @super-psycho-love69 @tanglesss @peter-sommer @baysidewest @vegemania @philip-stan @chodiusmmm @subwaystunnel @tykorclint @dagger-dragger @kurant @nothing-can-least-forever @oxfordkipem @deliciousbouquet90 @tuptuptup @hellenna80 @karina-marina9 @latimeriaaa @bratko @wurld89 @scott-evans @kiss-me-rouge @ovonel-espaniol @dancing-tacco @ratugadhi @white-tiger-shangrila  @axn69 @eternal-life-awaits @mrs-laura-harmon @artsy-inside @gleeeeees​  @darkllaama @jatut @agawux @fuzzy-tigrrr @jrjohnsson2 @maaargoshaaa​ @dontgetmewrongman​ @einexx​ @nwmtagsb @anini71​ @secretlygrantaire​ @kyloren-supreme-ben​ @infinity-stones-seeker​ @thehappyspider​ @wings4life​ @huxyluxy​ @dontbeafraidchild​ @misafiryanki​ @electronicpatrolcollective​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @aulika​ @hidden-secrets69​ @a-happy-wolf​ @creative-seahorse​ @biologyforliving​

[enkisstories]

One morning not just the food, also the grill smelled "well done".

John: "That wouldn't have happened with my ready-made meal packages!"

Caroline: “That wouldn’t have happened if Savi hadn’t left his spooky crystals outside unattended!”

Jannah couldn't tell what was worse: The fire eating through her outfit and the smoke choking her - or Rose and Hux exchanging warm smiles as they reminiscended about the shipwreck, where such fires had been a common occurence.

She got a "Life saver" sentiment for both of them - even the game couldn’t determine who put out the fire.

Jannah: "I don't know what to say. Rose would have been perfectly capable of extinguishing this fire. There was no need to put me in a situation where I have to say "thank you" to YOU."

A rare instance of having acted without considering the potential gains, yet getting rejecting AGAIN. Disappointment and hurt pride forced Hux to reply against better judgement:

“You guys are sending rather mixed signals concerning whether I shall burn stuff or not.”

Okay, maybe Jannah had been unfair. But at the same time her fiance’s words belittled the suffering of so many in a way that Rose couldn’t accept. Not anymore, anyway.

Rose: "Can it!"

Armitage: "Huh?"

Rose: "It's been half a year since you broke with Kylo Ren. I'm insanely proud of how far you've come, except you still treat your past as something to be proud of. You processed all the ways in which you were a victim and healed from it, now it's time to own up to your crimes!"

Armitage: “What crimes?! It was war!”

Rose: “Yes, because you started it!”

Armitage: “No! I’m not going going down that path! We never, Rose... We never argue except because of unrelated third parties!!!”

Jannah: “So what are you going to do about that? Kill us all?”

Armitage: “Oh, so suddenly she is allowed to make killing jokes, but I’m not? What’s next? Do I get a curfew?”

Jannah: “Nah. That would imply us wanting you return.”

---

Note: That argument was autonomous. It's only the second they ever had since I put them in my game.

[jupitermelichios]

What I’d change about Rise of Skywalker

To be clear, these are changes I’d make to the existing script, not what I would have written instead. We can all agree Sheev coming back was, at best, a bit dumb, I’m also fully aware that a lot of people disliked TLJ for a variety of reasons and wanted ros to retconn more stuff, but this is not an attempt to change any of that. I’m taking the basic structure of the movie and shifting stuff around to create something I think is tonally and thematically more in line with the overall trillogy.

Also i’m aware the extended universe is sort of canon-until-proven-otherwise at the moment but as far as i’m concered there was a DC style crisis and it’s now open season on worldbuilding elements

- Starting right at the very beginning, our opening crawl is now just about immortality being one of the secret sith powers Sheev kept hinting about in the prequels

- Our very first sequence in the movie is now a (short) montage of Sheev sending psychic messages to members of the First Order, telling them to join his secret sith club. It’s not just Kylo, this is a thing he’s just generally doing, Hux, Pryde, Kylo, random Storm Trooper number 7, they’re all getting this same message.

- Kylo buggers off to go murder Sheev, because Snoke never actually let him graduate (or whatever modern sith do) so he’s not actually a sith lord, but he’s like ah, new/old sith lord is in town, I go kill him and I get to take his title by right of conquest rule of one styley, and also take out a threat to my power base. Also in the one scene we see of him interacting with the first order it’s pretty clear he actually really fucking hates being in charge, so a mission to kill Sheev is looking super win-win

- The reason Exigor is sacred to the Sith now, the reason Palpatine’s able to communicate accross planets, and the reason he’s still alive (ish) are all the same - the planet “has a heart... oF KAIIIBURRRRRR!” (yes the line should be delivered exactly like that) that amplified force powers

- Instead of just being Ian McDermott in white facepaint, Sheev’s design draws heavily on Darth Nihilus or Darth Sion, his body is dead or maybe nonexistant depending on how gross they’re prepared to go. The point is, the answer to the question ‘how the fuck did he survive?’ should be essentially ‘he didn’t’; he’s a consiousness and a fuckton of willpower and not much else

- We establish a temple/cult in this universe that worships twin gods and are generally all about balance and shit coming in twos and they think force diads are sacred. I’m thinking someone at the temple has resistance information, and when Rey and Poe visit, Poe goes to talk to the contact while Rey meditates and sees Luke’s ghost who tells her how he and Leia came here together and about their belief system and how there are different ways of connecting to the force than just being a jedi, setting up the plot point of the diad, our theme of ‘the people we love are never really gone’, and also laying the groundwork for what’s going to be a second theme of building something new rather than repeating the mistakes of the past, by establishing the sith/jedi dichotomy isn’t the only possible path to take.

- Rose and Finn are bored and stuck on base while their friends are on this mission, so when they get a distress call from a minor First Order base they go off to investigate. They find Hux, who’s been ousted in a coup in favour of the First Order just straight up following Sheev after Kylo wondered off, who promises them information. At this base, Finn also sees some young storm trooper cadets.

- Back at the rebel base they all meet up and Hux (who they’ve taken prisoner) tells them about Sheev being back, which they didn’t know about because he’s only been speaking to bad guys.

- Leia is already dying, Rey is super upset about it and during an accidental mind share, Kylo finds out and tells her Sidious knows how to heal people by transferring life energy from one person to another. The healing thing is specifically a Sith power this go around. We get a moment pretty soon after during a mission where someone gets injured, probably Finn, and she figures out how to heal them based on the hints Kylo gave her

- Also this time Leia still isn’t a jedi but not because of a prophesy, it’s because she disagrees with their philosophy, which is going to be relevant later. We get a line to the effect that ‘Luke didn’t grow up surrounded by the legacy of the Jedi’s failings, I did’

- The weird knife thing isnt anymore, it’s just a hollicron now, and the whole bit with both Lando and Rey’s parents and the bonty hunter are removed to give us breathing room elsewhere, it’s just a more tradtional fetch quest now.

- In order to get the holicron translated, Poe’s like “you’re not going to like this, but I maybe know a guy from doing undercover missions”, and takes them to Black Sun to speak to Darth Maul, that’s right, Darth Maul is here now, and he helps them because his prosthetics are breaking down and Rose fixes them and saves his life. Also he’s pretty pissed at Sheev for getting him killed so he’s totally chill with them killing the guy.

- The Hollicron tells them that the last known map to Exigor was stored in the archives of the temple of Corisant.

- They go to the ruins of the temple, a place that is both nostaligic and also has actual character significance to kylo and ties into our theme of how the jedi and the sith are both a bit shit, and even though it makes more sense for it to have been cleaned up, it’s full of little baby skeletons from Anakin’s massacre, just for the drama of it

- Rey and Kylo fight, he taunts her again with the promise of healing Leia, but this time Rey uses their bond and her knowledge of how to talk to force ghosts to basically force Kylo’s third eye wide open so he’s hearing a hundred force ghosts all at one, stabs him while he’s distracted, heals him, and then she fucks off, leaving him to talk to the force ghost of Anakin, who tells him he’s a moron who’s falling for the same bullshit Sheev used on him

- Rey joins up with the others, but at the Rebel base Hux has managed to escape and shoots Leia (it’s dramatic and she dies saving someone but it’s not actually particularly plot relevant so imagine your own death scene of choice here), and obviously Rey feels it

- At this point the gang split up, Poe and Rose go back the the Rebels because they know they’ll be needed, Finn goes off to rescue the storm trooper kids he saw earlier (yeah I’m adding a subplot what’re you going to do about it), and Rey goes off to fight Palpatine

- In the temple, Leia appears to Kylo as a force ghost while he’s doing dramatic ‘i can’t go on’ kneeling pose and gives him a little pep talk and name drops the title

- Finn goes to the first order base, finds the kids, and the little ones are on board with escaping but then they run into some teenagers who actually have guns and it cuts away on a ‘will they turn him in?” cliffhanger

- Rey arrives in Sheev’s big cave thing, tries to fight him but he’s all ‘the jedi could not defeat me before, what makes you think they can now when you’re barely more than a padawan’ and force lightnings her a bit. They’re not related in this universe, he just wants to steal her lifeforce to heal himself more because she’s powerful

- Turns out that the First Order have been tracking Hux, so they know where the Rebel base is so there’s a big space battle going on, and the First Order don’t even have any fancy secret weapon but there’s a lot of them and there’s not enough Rebel ships left after TLJ. Poe’s up in the air flying even though he’s the boss now, and Rose is on the comms trying to contact allies

"This is the Rebellion, please. In the name of Leia Organa, we're calling you. Please, if there's anyone out there. For Leia Organa, for Luke Skywalker, for Amilyn Holdo, please…" and then when there's no response, in tears, she whispers, "For Rose Tico, please!"

There's a beat of silence, and then the radio crackles to life.

"Rose Tico calls for aid, and Black Sun will answer."

A moment later another, "Leia Organa calls for aid and Cloud City will answer."

and then a moment later, “The Rebellion calls for Aid and the Free Troopers will answer” and we cut to Finn in a stolen First Order ship full of the trooper cadets of all ages.

A makeshift amada joins the fight, same as in the original version, and rose and circular briad crown girl who’s also been trying to call for back up hug in celebration and have a very brief ‘oh wait maybe i’m into you’ moment

- Back on Exigor, Kylo arrives to find Rey on the floor, dying. He takes her hand and we see them as spirits, surrounded by the flickering memories of their lives, they’re seeing one another properly for the first time, and they ackoledge one another as twins via the force (personally i’d make them explicitly siblings, by force if not blood, here to carry on the proud star wars tradition of ambiguously incestuous twins, but that might not fly with disney execs in the the 21st century), and then he gives her his life force to heal her and his last words are a title drop again, mirroring what Leia said to him, because this movie is cheesy as hell

- "The power of the Jedi could have lived in you, as the power of the sith lives in me. But instead you threw it away, for what? For that pathetic little boy? He was no more a true sith than you are a true Jedi!"

"I don't need to be a Jedi. The force is with me, and I am with the force. You have the sith. I have all that was and is and will be!"

Behind her force ghosts begin to appear, but not just jedi. There is as many of the Skywalker clan as we can get (including some reused green screen footage of Carrie Fisher), and Rose's sister, and Han, and people visually implied to be Poe and Finn’s parents, and Holdo, and behind them hundreds of others. Basically if we can afford them, they’re cameoing here, alongside a load of extras. And last of all, standing beside her is Ben.They exchange a look, and then Rey strikes. Palatine tries to force lightning her but it doesn't work, and she presses her hands to his cloak, pulls the life force out if him. Thes a terrible screaming and we see glimpses of the other sith, before they dissipate and the robe falls to the ground.

And obviously the space battle also gets definitively won at the same time, this is movieland, I’m thinking Finn and Poe have to coordinate an attack that relies on Finn using the force is that vague ‘jedi’s are all amazing pilots’ way episodes 1 and 4 both used

Oh and then at the end they’re all celebrating back on the Rebel base, and Finn starts to hit on Rose and she’s like “I’m not the one you want to say that too, also you’re not my type” and smooches circular braid-crown girl who’s been in the background of all these movies with nothing to so

Finn joins Poe and Rey and they all hug in the same ambigiously-poly way they did in the original, and then Poe’s like “I’m sorry about Kylo” kind of awkward because he still hates the guy but he knows Rey doesn’t, and Rey’s like ‘I’m not, the people we love never really leave us’

and then the final scene, Rey is carrying Kylo’s lightsabre and lays Luke’s and Leia’s on the altar of the temple of the twins, and goes to ask the priests to tell her about their religion, with the implication that she’s starting to build her own new version of the jedi

(and if I was disney this would totally be the set up for a new animated series about Rey travelling around the galaxy meeting new weird alien cultures and learning about what cool force powers they have, and the knights of Ren can be the bad guys, and sometimes she’ll come and help Finn and Poe and Rose with trying to rebuild the galaxy. And then they have to take out Black Sun in season 2 and it’s all super dramatic because they were allies sort of and had cameos, and now rey and maul are forced to have super cool spider-legs lightsabre battles instead)

[hitbythunder]

Chandrilan Moons - 2

A Kylo Ren x Reader story with much angst, possessiveness and dark themes (warnings will be updated as the story progresses) –> Read also on AO3

Summary: Growing up under the loving care of your foster-mother, Leia Organa, there had been nothing for you and Rey to want for. Though not of kin, you loved Rey as your sister and spent a happy childhood with her on Chandrila. But when the boiling galactic politics demanded for Leia to take action, for the Resistance to rise and fight, the girls could no longer evade the cruelty of the world. Kylo Ren sought a map as a key to revenge, to freedom, and had no use for a force-unsensitive young girl like you. You were simply a means to an end. Until his darkness latched onto you, drawn in by your light as you were by the demon that is Kylo Ren - inevitably gravitating towards each other, bound to be one. Like the Chandrilan moons.

****

____________________________xXx____________________________ 2- Prologue II

It was the following afternoon, when we had lunch with our friends Poe and Rose, as well as two other pilots of Poe's unit.

Dean and Jared? Jack? - I really should pay more attention to such things, if I want to get better at socializing.

Most of the time I felt somewhat uncomfortable even among friends, while Rey seemed to be just in her element, conversing in a charming and slightly flirting manner with ease.

"So what's this about you super-secret mission Poe?" Rose inquired over desert.

"Well it is terribly dangerous and absolutely top-secret, I can assure you." the curly-haired pilot replied, smirking sassy as he leaned with one arm on the table, body twisted casually to the side. He hadn't touched his chocolate-pudding, which he never did actually, and because Rey was too proud to ask for it they would engage in cunning banter before he would eventually give it to her. I had watched the process far too many times by now and thus had begun to bring my holopad to lunch, zoning out in between to read the latest news across the galaxy.

"Oh come on, Dameron!" one of the unnamed pilots groaned, obviously envious of Poe's status as most proficient pilot and commander of the starfighter-fleet.

"Yeah, Poe, give us at least a hint. I know you're dying to boast about it!" Rey grinned from ear to ear, far too much enjoying teasing her friend, while Rose snickered like a little girl with giddiness. In her opinion, Rey and Poe were the perfect couple and the way they stared at teach other with moony eyes was just so romantic - or so Rose had described it to me a few weeks back.

They surely are a handful together, I mused as I watched the exchange, soon choosing to return my attention to the holopad in my lap, browsing through some news.

"Sorry, ladies. My lips-" Poe closed his mouth, index-finger brushing languidly across his full lips in an almost sensual manner. "-are sealed." Pilot #2 whistled indecently, Rose blushing even harder, while Rey remained cool and just glared at Poe. "Fine. I won't tell you of our super-important mission either." she leaned back in her chair and gestured between me and herself.

"You're allowed to go on a mission?" Rose almost jumped out of her seat at the news and the guys too looked rather surprised. Rey's proud smile widened, sitting up straighter in her chair. It was common knowledge around the base that the General stubbornly refused to let her girls go off-planet despite our persistent pleading.

"No way you got the General around on this one." Poe shook his head incredulously, fluffing up his curly brown locks by doing so. Stars, no wonder half of the base's population (aka the female part) fell for the rhoughish pilot.

"You bet we did." Rey scoffed beside her, folding her arms across her chest. "She can't keep us on the ground forever, anyways. In two days we're off and finally get to see someplace else!"

"But you're not in for something too dangerous, are you?" Rose, to the other side of Rey, brought genuine concern to the discussion, the worried expression on her round face most endearing.

"Of course not. Just an easy one, in and out. We'll be back before you know it." came Rey's reply that seemed to put poor Rose at least a little at ease, but pilot #1 apparently didn't bother as he said:

"In and out like on Felucia, you mean?" meant as a joke, his words hung like a dark cloud above the small group, no-body laughing. Rose sat motionless, eyes big and watery. Reflexively, I put my hand on Rey's forearm, sensing her anger as she glared at the pilot from across the table.

"Kriff, Joel!" his comrade hissed at the same time as Poe hit him at the back of his head, not too hard but enough to make him shut up.

Eight months ago, a Resistance unit had been sent to negotiate with possible new allies on Felucia, an insignificant jungle planet with few inhabitants and little natural resources. Thus making for an ideal meeting point if one was to avoid unwanted attention. But after years of (partially open) war, which only marginally impeded the growing influence and military power of the First Oder, the few parties that had maintained their neutrality so far weren't all too eager to change that. It had taken all of Leia's disarming charm, experience and then some convincing to even agree on that meeting on Felucia. And it had ended in a disaster.

Through a well-placed spy, as confirmed later, the First Order had been aware of the meeting and seized this opportunity to remind the rest of the galaxy of the consequences should one merely even consider to side with the Resistance. The knights of Ren, rumored creatures of legend and vile descent, the First Order's most effective and feared unit had been sent there, led by none other than Kylo Ren, rumored heir of Darth Vader. In their wake they had brought destruction and death upon Felucia, hunting and slaughtering every living soul in a blood frenzy. Rose had lost a brother that day, the Resistance yet another straw of hope to turn the tides of the war.

"It will be nothing like that." said I and leaned towards Rose, who nodded in reply and forced her tears away. Hopefully, though, fate wouldn't prove me wrong.

On my way to the private quarters of the base, I walked past the canteen, stopped there as I could make out cheerful voices from within. A moment later, as I was about to peek further into the small hall, Poe appeared in front of me.

"Sorry for Joel's behavior yesterday. He's just a tactless idiot and I know how close you are with Rose." Poe began with a rueful tone, rubbing the back of his head which caused his locks to fluff up even more. It was an unexpected exchange and although he was wrong about me and Rose being besties - that was more Rey to be honest - I felt somewhat flattered by his concern for my opinion about him or his comrades.

"Thanks, Poe. Though he should be apologizing to Rose but that's not your responsibility." I replied and when his face lit up more, I quickly averted my gaze. An odd silence fell between us, which the pilot didn't hesitate to fill in his charming manner.

"Anyways, we're just hanging out before the mission tomorrow." he gestured towards the occupied table at the back of the otherwise empty hall, paused, then turned fully towards me. "Wanna join us?"

As if on cue, when our gazes met, my heart quickened and I felt heat rising to my cheeks. Now he was indeed flattering me, because so far I had only been invited along with Rey to such gatherings and never personally. Since I hadn't had that much experience with guys in my young life, this sudden attention of the handsome pilot surely felt exciting. But as tempting as it was, I had to decline.

"I'd love to, really, but I have meditation-lessons with Rey... and Leia will know if I skip them."

Not that I'm improving that much recently... Still no force-connection in sight...

"Oh, don't bother." how easily Poe waved of a rebuff, so sure of himself, and added without an ounce of doubt: "Then we'll grab a drink together when I'm back."

With a disarming smile and a wave of his hand, Poe made his leave to return to his comrades, while I remained standing at the doorway as if in a stupor, my mind still turning over his words.

Does he mean 'we' as in 'you and I', like the two of us? Have I just been asked out by Poe Dameron?!

"Yeah, great! I-" I stumbled most awkwardly and was probably red as a tomato by now, whispered all to myself as I proceeded down the corridor with a smile. "I'd love that."

+++

+Present day - on board the Finalizer, orbiting Jakku+

Deadly silence hung over the command center of the ship, officers in grey and black uniforms tapping very quietly at their workstations, while General Hux and Kylo Ren had a small stand-off in the middle of the bridge. Although everyone was curious about their conversation, eaves-dropping wasn't a feasible option because the Commander would know immediately if someone's mind was not occupied with their work.

Kylo sensed the staff's unease at his presence, their distrust bordering on superstition regarding his powers, but by now he didn't care much about it. In fact, to have his subordinates tremble at his name gave him a distinct kind of satisfaction as well as affirmation that he was becoming a major entity within the galaxy, a person not to be meddled with. With that in mind, he let his gaze sweep over the sheep beneath him and felt the Force rippling with their fear. If not for his helmet, one could have spied the tiny smirk tugging at his lips then.

"The Supreme Leader will be most displeased if we don't acquire the map soon." Hux's voice brought Kylo back to the task at hand, his helmeted head snapping back towards the ginger-haired man.

"Then why did it slip your grasp twice now?" his voice a hiss, barely concealing his contempt for the man as well as his methods. But before Hux could even think of a snippy reply, an officer to their left announced that the droid containing the sought-after map had been sighted on Takodana.

"Excellent!" Hux beamed and barked a few commands to get a squadron of troopers on-site immediately, a sudden agitation filling the room as everyone was eager to comply.

"Prepare my ship!" Kylo ordered a nearby officer, then said to Hux in a no less commanding voice: "I'll go in myself and get that map."

"How gracious of you to join the efforts." the General sneered, but could not hide his wounded-pride at the repeated failure of his men regarding that blasted map. As reserved and in control Hux might think himself to be, his beetle-eyes betrayed his every emotion so that Kylo didn't even need the Force to have a good guess at the man's thoughts.

"It's not my head that rolls first if this gets fucked up again." he stated boldly and loud enough for everyone to hear, leaving behind a fuming Hux as he marched out of the command center. Truth as it may be that Snoke wouldn't punish Kylo for the loss of the map - not severely and perhaps not even directly - Kylo couldn't let that chance go wasted. If he wanted to shed his former life and become stronger in the Dark Side he needed to best his old master, his cursed uncle, once and for all.

First Luke Skywalker, then Snoke himself, so that there would be no one left to challenge him.

[solohux]

Kylo and hux love their children very much, and often they forget to hold their neutral position when in public when with the kids, and Some of the older officers take notice in discust; saying among themself the two are cuddeling the children to much, that it is a disgrace. That the kids wil never grow strong like that. Maybe They compeare Brendol to hux? Maybe Brendols parenting wasent uncommon among FOs?

I love this!

I can just imagine all the older officers like Peavy and Pryde and Canady all bitching about how awful it is that Grand Marshal Hux fusses over his baby. They watch him as he kneels on the ground and opens his arms so his toddler can walk to him, and he catches her and twirls her around in the air to make her giggle and tell her how proud of her he is for walking. It makes Pryde’s skin crawl to see Armitage Hux smiling like this. He wants to honour Brendol’s memory by putting the boy back in his place. How dare this runt be happy.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren won’t stand for his husband and his daughter be spoken about like this. Old Imperials have been around for far too long.

[burningdarkfire]

tagged by @saturdaysky​, thank you! always very happy to talk about writing 🤠

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

36 on ao3, with many others left in the past on livejournal or ffnet

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

162k. it’s kind of a shame it doesn’t have the majority of my pre-2011 output as i never ported over my top four or five longest fics. i would’ve loved to see some genuine lifetime totals!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

9 on ao3 (critrole, nier, hetalia, overwatch, trc, voltron, no. 6, star wars, tiger & bunny). if you expand trc to include anything clamp and throw in code geass then that covers everything i’ve ever published, though homestuck is by far the fandom i have the most WIPs for despite never finishing a single one and deserves a shoutout

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

take my hand / take my whole life too: critrole, 9k, how essek and caleb’s relationship evolves through touch

blue sky, warm sun: critrole, 3.5k, six mornings caleb wakes with essek

dark night, bright stars: critrole, 3k, six nights caleb spends with essek

kitty love: star wars, 1.5k, kylo ren forms a bond with hux’s cat millicent

the walls kept tumbling down: critrole, 2k, caleb spontaneously visits essek after a hard day

commentary and further answers are below the cut!

spots 1-3 on the list are gladly accepted, given that i also think they’re some of my best and most broadly-appealing shadowgast. kitty love gets its spot despite being pure, pointless crack because it’s for a huge fandom, which is fine and fun but i don’t have a lot of personal attachment to it

the walls kept tumbling down is a surprise! it was a self-indulgent “i want a fic exactly like this to fix my mood and instead of digging through the internet for one i’ll just make one up” that i only worked on for a couple of days. i’m glad it clicked for other people!

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i always try to respond to comments, although sometimes a week or two pass by before i can find the energy to sit down and do it

admittedly comments have gone unanswered during months or years when i’m not writing fic and then it feels too awkward to a) go back and respond, and b) respond to any further comments on the fic even if they come in when i’m active. so instead those comments haunt my ao3 inbox forever (oops)

i do appreciate every single one though, and there are some comments that i go back to read if i need a pick-me-up just because they were so nice 😊

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i’ll link my no. 6 fic forgive me because it still dominates my top fics in terms of hits despite being 387 words long. i wrote it in 2011 in less than half an hour, if i’m remembering correctly, and there are a few clever bits in it that i’m still quite proud of

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i don’t usually write or read “pure” crossovers but i do like fusion AUs where characters from one work are imported into the setting of another work

but it’s fandom-dependent. critrole has been an outlier in that i can count on one hand the number of AU fics i’ve read and liked enough to remember. some of my favourite canon-adjacent fics veer off wildly, but they’ve still got their roots in the universe

i’ve published 17 critrole fics myself and they’re all canon-adjacent. i’m only now working on my first fusion-type AU 🤷‍♂️

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i have one distinct memory of receiving criticism on a fic. in hindsight, it was constructive and pretty fair, but i was a young teen and so it still haunts me

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do!! and i’m excited about it because it’s fairly new to me!

i write to the characters, and what kind of relationship i think they’d have, but it’s probably true that my interests tend towards certain relationship dynamics

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i’m aware of!

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, actually! this was about about a decade ago so sadly the details have been lost in the haziness of memory and the inaccessibility of ffnet. i tried to dig it up last night but couldn’t find it again 😔

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i don’t ... think so? my current roommate and i tried co-writing when we were teenagers but none of that got published. it’s possible i’m forgetting something from my livejournal/early tumblr days because i remember doing a lot of ask games and challenges with other writers and fandom friends

now i’m just an introvert who avoids invites to discords because i feel like i simply Do Not Have Time so 🤡 not sure it’s anywhere on the horizon

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

i used to have shipping walls and pairing lists until 2015 or so but i have since accepted that i am changeable like the wind. my interests come and go!

i am a multi-shipper though as a general rule. i’ve never had such a loyalty to a pairing that it would bother me to pair one half with someone else, and i also don’t care at all whether or not a ship is canon. it’s just about what’s interesting!

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i’ve had remarkably sequential focus for my critrole fics and finished nearly every idea i’ve had so far. however, this ACME AU is testing me lol and i’ve spent so much time on it that my list of other ideas to write is only getting longer and longer. nothing is abandoned yet, because not much else has even been started, but i am starting to sweat a little

15) What are your writing strengths?

i love my writing style! i value simplicity and clarity: no flowery descriptions, easy words, few similes, little variance in sentence structures, etc. it can vary, based on my mood or the characters i’m writing, but i like doing more with less

i’ve spent years working at my own style and it is so satisfying to read something i wrote in 2011 and feel how familiar it still is while being able to pick out what i would change

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

recently, it’s been plot. if it can’t be conveyed by 2-4 characters talking to each other then i don’t know how to do it anymore 😭 i’m most invested in emotional resolutions, but it’s probably a good idea to have things happen sometimes!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i really do not enjoy this when it’s used as a “character quirk”. this includes nicknames, common phrases even if they are spoken that way in canon, and .. everything, really, that’s in a different language

i’ve spent a lot of time in spaces where it seemed widely agreed that doing so was not welcome, and i’ve had considerable fandom “culture shock” reading critrole fics. there are plenty of reasons to have caleb speaking “zemnian” or to emphasize his accent, and those reasons don’t need to be lofty or deep, but i do think there should be a reason beyond “haha this guy says ja instead of yeah”

i promise, absolutely pinky swear, that i don’t judge anyone on an individual basis for doing this. it seems to be a deep-seated fandom trend in this case and i just wish it wasn’t

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

tsubasa reservoir chronicle (trc) all the way back in 2010. tsubasa, my beloved, how you changed my life 💕

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

i like different ones for different reasons, but the top contender might be such is the endlessness for nier automata. it’s a vampire/werewolf enemies-to-lovers fusion AU where i put 2b and 9s in an original universe of mine that i wrote about a lot when i was a teenager

i feel like i did a spectacular job of adapting the universe for nier and i thought i conveyed a lot about the world in a relatively short number of words (the entire fic is just under 5k). i’ve considered more than once that i should use this version of the universe going forward because i enjoy it so much!

-

thanks again for the tag, sky, and i’ll leave this open to anyone else who wants to try as i think most of my mutuals have already been included. don’t be shy about tagging me in your answer if you take my open invite as i love reading these! 💖