#so sad it all came to a close
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Alexander Skarsgård – Marrakech International Film Festival – Closing Ceremony, 2 December 2023. Thanks SwedishDelish
#alexander skarsgård#alexander skarsgard#marrakech international film festival#closing ceremony#2 dec '23#thanks swedishdelish#ajss13#ajss edits#miff23#alex in a tux!#just perfection#so sad it all came to a close#i've missed seeing him on a red carpet so fckn much
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Cannot stop thinking about how Fernando was the first one to hug Seb after Monza 2008:
#two men who are not afraid to hug with both arms sjfklfl#but seriously fernando especially is always going full in on hugs(rather than the typical one handed) and i respect it#BUT GODDDDDD THAT HE WAS THE FIRST!!!!!! LITERALLY MURDERED ME#ive literally watched this race before and i didnt even notice#i think i wanted to see if there were pics of them from before 2009 and came across this and was so OH?????#fun fact if you look at my gallery from during the past gp +#its literally a mix of sad reaction pics and vettonso pics. what singapore does to a man. :')#but god i feel so abnormal about this hug. its just veru sweet to me okay!!!#vettonso is fun bcs theres not as much content so every little bit is very precious and important to me <3#likeeeeee how close they hug each other and the way theyre still close when they pull back to look at each other!!!#i wonder what theyd be like if they hadnt been rivals. but tbh on the other hand their animosity is why I like them !#but ofc very sweet to see them when the slate was blank bcs then im like hmmm how long until 'fuck you my boy' happens#well! you guys know theyre my brainrot nowadays :D#watching 2010 will be fun bcs its literally primetime for all my ships#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#2008 italian gp
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i am such a clown. decided to make stickers for my siblings even though i have ZERO design skills or knowledge of any programs that allow you to rotate text except for powerpoint. so i made them in powerpoint. (this took, mmmm, maybe 6-8 hours btw.) then had to find a website that would print and mail these stickers to me. no i don't want 50 stickers. i want one circle sticker and one rectangle sticker. oh that's not an option anybody wants to give me? okay then i guess i will buy 16 circle stickers (the least offered) and 50 rectangle stickers (the least offered. why not 16 also? a mystery). one of the designs is for my sibling's band, so if they like it theoretically they could use the stickers as merch or something lol. but i'm not holding my breath, on account of the aforementioned lack of design skills. i get away with a lot among my family because they're all so willing to react to my questionable creations with aww look, she Tried! but that probably doesn't work for strangers who are fans of my sibling's band. so i guess they will just have 49 extra stickers that they can idk stick to streetlight poles or something. not my problem.
#i originally designed them on graph paper. with like a compass and everything#i learned something new today!! apparently you can curve a text box around a circle!!!!!! that saved me some time#this all came about because my sister was telling me how sad she was that she lost her water bottle because it had a sticker on it#that she had gotten from her travels. and i was like awesome i'll just make her a new one#girl what! you don't know how to do that!!! CLOWNNNNNN#also i don't actually know what the original sticker looked like lol which is probably for the best so i can't 1) plagiarize#or 2) compare my shoddy workmanship to that of an actual professional#i thought about commissioning an actual graphic designer to do this but i quickly got overwhelmed with logistics#and it's so close to christmas i didn't really want to deal with the timeline issue#i really should have done this three months ago but of course i procrastinated#anyway. the website kept being like are you SURE you positioned that image correctly?#and i was like nope! but i don't know what else to do so let's just try it and see what happens :)#it looked fine in the preview. living on the edge over here. the extreme sport of sticker designing
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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#a doodley#my dad has has gone thru a billion yard dogs but there was one special one he actually loved#that was really smart and good. he was killed by a pack of rogue strays while we were away#(i was still a child)#anyway when he came home and broke the news i started gearing up to cry; not bc i was close to da dog but bc my dad loved it#so why wouldnt i be sad#anyway my mom saw the faucet of tears being turned and she immediately yelled at me to not start with my shit#bc this was already hard enough on my dad without me making it worse by crying#im a born crier so this didn't shame me into Not Crying. it DID shame me into feeling rly bad about it in situations similar to it though#bad enough to the point of crying more bc im being more of a bother. and demanding all the attention#so its a cycle really
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to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?
#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened#i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close#and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way#i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao#now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest#and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell#i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop#but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again#i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier#it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men#and i find myself unable to connect with anyone…#i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed#i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it#i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly.#i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad#i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so#i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized…#when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was#like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u#i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function.#plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized#how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone…#i went thru all that for nothing…#and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why#brain vomit
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Okay, I'm gonna go on a rant here a bit.
I fucking cannot stand how modern day almost completely abandoned some genres of games. What was the last Point-And-Click Quest you heard about? What the last puzzle game that became popular? The last visual novel that isn't a dating sim or ddlc (that came out in 2017 which was 6 years ago btw) that received any public attention?
These small genres of games are not necessarily dying specifically visual novels, these are huuugely supported by their own fanbase of creative people and players.
It doesn't mean that they don't exist. They do. As indie games mostly for understandable reasons. But no one talks about them. At all.
#> tired shitpost#last game of deponi.a series was released in 2016#the talos princip.le came out in 2015#WHICH BY THE WAY ANNOUNCED THE SEQUEL THAT SHOULD BE COMING OUT THIS YEAR IN LIKE 2020 AND I GET TO KNOW IT ONLY FUCKING NOW????#The Witnes/s which will remain one of my favourite games of all times came out in 2015 also#dr.v3 came out in 2017 yes i will count it also#ZE:ZT.D came out in 2016#both of them closed off their trilogies with one obviously being more popular than the other to this day#like#idk it's so sad to me
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My name is Conan Edogawa, or it is now thanks to some poison slipped to me by a secret crime organization. Now I’ve gotta solve crimes as a kid while trying to get my real body back. The clues are many and suspects abound, but I’ve always believed that with a keen eye for details, one truth will prevail.
#detective conan#case closed#shinichi kudo#conan edogawa#my gifs#funimation english dub script#because i love those cheesy openings lol#episode 1#episode 2#episode 176#episode 288#pictures are japanese dvd covers that i scanned so#my scans#my edits#covers are for 6-7 and 7-9 and 14-1 and 14-6#maybe would have used 14-8 if my copy actually came with the jacket like it was supposed to... still sad about that#anyway i wasn't gonna make anything new for shinichi day but i got inspired by all the beautiful art!#this is a bit of a rush job and it's really late (but still the 4th in my timezone!) but hbd shrunken detective :')#(also sorry for lack of beta... it doesn't let me put multiple pictures in a row anymore???)
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found a friendship bracelet from my trip that i left in my backpack and now im thinking of the two little boys on the airport who got so excited when I told them I had messi-themed friendship bracelets, I hope they still have them <3
#there was this mom with her 3 kids (a girl and 2 boys all very little like at most the girl who was the oldest must've been like 8)#and she saw us and started talking to us and telling her girl hey look these girls came here to see taylor too just like you etc#and then she told us the girl went to the concert and the two boys went to messi's cirque de soleil thing and I was like 'oh you guys like#messi? wait until I show you my locksreen (photo of messi with the wc) and they got so excited!!!!#so afterwards when we got off the plane and I managed to find them I asked if they wanted messi-themed frienship bracelets#because my friend had given their sister friendships bracelets but the boys didnt want them#but they got so excited that I had friendship bracelets that were messi-themed and they made me so happy bc they loved the bracelets#so yeah i hope they havent lost them and also that they are having a great day#the youngest boy also invited me to play hello kitty with them on the plane but we weren't sitting close to him and he was so sad :(
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woke up from a nap thinking of her*
(*the original incarnation of fall out boy’s seventh studio album, MANIA)
#please don’t take this to be mania slander bc. mania is a near-perfect PERFECT album to me#it’s probably my no. 3 fob album of all time!! (no.2 if you consider the ioh folie tie to be one entity)#but I can’t stop thinking about what she could have been if y&m hadn’t divided the fanbase so horrifically#I can’t help but wonder what those three songs that ended up being scrapped might have sounded like#(yknow. the ones joe worked closely on and was so excited about. the ones he talked about in his book)#and idk. it makes me so sad that the fans (fans!!!! yknow the people who are supposed to be supportive!!) reacted with such visceral#animosity and hatred that fall out boy (musicians who are well versed with rejection and public disapproval) felt the need to backtrack#regroup and REVISE an album that they had created with their little hands!!!!!!#anyway. im getting emotional#but just to be clear. if you talked shit (publically) about y&m when it came out. I kinda hate you#ignore me!!!! look away!!!!!#kayce’s corner.txt
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they should invent a grief thats uncomplicated and purely cathartic to experience. has anyone thought of this before
#cw death#not to be ungrateful that when i get tired of 'feeling guilty abt putting off ur trip to go see family until the summer bc u didn't want to#have to deal w international travel over winter break and now ur grandma who u haven't seen in 8 years is dead' i can distract myself with#'being furious that your family wasn't going to tell u she died until u came home for the summer' or 'giving urself a headache abt whether#you're even allowed to be upset that she died when u grew up hearing stories abt how horrible she was to ur mom' or#'being irrationally and unfairly jealous that your dad has multiple siblings who could all take turns checking in on her and sitting with#her in the hospital bc u definitely will not get that when ur parents die' or 'getting paranoid abt how ur OTHER set of grandparents#might die and/or go fully blind before u get to see them (also for the first time in 8 years) this summer'#like. not to be ungrateful to have so much enrichment to choose from in my enclosure#but have we considered just like.....being sad. and that's it.#lmao literally as i was writing this my mom texted me 'it's already happened just move on' so BACK TO SQUARE ONE!#anyways like it's fine lol. we (obviously) were not close. and also she was a full 98 years old lmao like it was her time.#but also truly. what goes on lol
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#was suddenly hit with a Very Angsty au idea#or maybe not angsty so much as just. Sad#basically instead of primoz leaving tjv at the end of 2023 it's jonas for *waves hand vaguely* Reasons#whatever goes down at the vuelta goes down except primoz stays and jonas leaves and ends up at....probably ineos?#idk just thinking of teams that realistically feel like they could fit jonas professionally and could support him at a grand tour#lends itself to a g/jonas fic whether romantic platonic somewhere in between idk#you have g who is on his way out career-wise closing in on retirement and all the self reflection and stuff that comes with that#and jonas who has just left his long-term team for reasons that are maybe making him question himself or his commitment to the sport#could also go in the direction of something like woutjonas where they came to tjv together and imagined staying there together forever#and now they won't *sad noises*#what if i wrote something
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Whenever i am told thangs abt the leech i just go. What an embarrassing person gosh
#iykyk#god damn#The stupidest and most oblivious person ive ever came in relatively close contact with /gen. With several ppl who know them irl agreeing#i kind of feel bad they dont even realize this but not gonna bother myself with it its just me going damn#unfortunate#apparently they are under impression im a lurker. one of their MANY projections but possibly the funniest/most pathetic one#i literally did not see their blog/crs blog since waaay back when we were still getting along#i have 0 reason to go in their spaces#last ive heard they were obsessively going thru tags on my posts day in and out#at work out of work#that makes ONE lurker in all this haha even crink knew to stop at some point LMAO#literally all i know is from ppl telling me soz m8#osmosis#just. the fact they believe ppl care enough to lurk on them is really funny in a sad way#ive been told they are paranoid abt one of their followers or something?#theyre nobody i know but stay paranoid ig#the assumption ppl would care enough#i was chortling while having old pellets read out for me#i would have to be insane to care abt what someone like that says#by which i mean an undiagnosed unmanaged shut in#quote /the universe hates them/#definitely nothing to do with them being a mess#fitting that they have an alter ego/sona that is just their bad traits concentrated#like yeah. why are we even upset LMAO#projection town on their end allllllll the way it just screams /unwell and out of the loop/#they dont know... ajajaj...#night was not happy abt that post no surprise there#YES they are enabling infidelity yes they are inserting themself. was supposed to stay in the house a few months and now. poor night jfc#nine months to go is too long#im so glad she told them
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“Comparison is the thief of joy” I repeat to myself over and over, trying to convince my damn brain not to be upset about the stats on fucking dadbastian schlock…
#I came across it by accident and made the mistake of looking at the stats#4x the hits of WDH my fic with the most hits by far#like I could combine all my hits from all my fics and I wouldn’t even be close to this one fic#that’s depressing af#sometimes I do wish I could just write popular shift#people won’t even Reblog my fic posts so guess I shouldn’t be surprised#even updating every single month synch only has 600 hits#gonna go offline for a while I think and try and pry myself out of this mood#sad poi hours
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its so odd thinking back to my life a few years ago compared to now
#like. my life really sucked. its so weird to think about that. every second before i thought 'its not so bad' even when it was bad#and now i see shit it really was that bad. i really did have a reason to want to kill myself all the time#maybe i dont have to blame myself for the person i was before while i had was dealing with all that stuff. who could act normally in that#kind of situation. of course i did bad shit and feel bad about it but i was a kid. and now im treating her the way that i was always treate#back then. i was in survival mode the entire time and just never realized it#and its so strange to think about how my life sucked and i was scared and alone all the time from the perspective of myself now#im not without support anymore. im not walking on eggshells anymore. im not afraid of violence all the time anymore#i dont believe my family hates me anymore. im not ready to pack up and leave because i think theyd be better off without me anymore#before i got good at anything my hobby was thinking of all the ways i could die and who would care. i spent all my time doing this#my daydreams were only about how people would react if i died. i dont do this that often anymore. close to never. and its so odd to remembe#since i was 6 i used to think this way. and up until a year or two ago i hated every version of myself and blamed them for me#but how was that fair. my life doesnt suck anymore. people i was without came back to me and love me#i see my cousins all the time. when i text them they text back. they ask me if im okay. they know when im not eating even when theyre not#around. i dont walk on eggshells around my mom as much as i used to. her attention isnt as divided as it used to be.#my brother is more of a brother than a stranger or an enemy. the image of him now and our relationship compared to what it used to be is#crazy. i had so much reason to be sad back then. i dont know why im still sad now when i got out of that life.#even now the reasons i have to be sad have dissolved. i used to feel like i was going insane without anyone to say the things i want to to#but i can say them to my cousin now. i have places i belong. its so strange to think about. idk#aricouldyounot
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the coot (type of bird) that I rescued on thanksgiving had to be put down :[
They didn’t tell me what happened so idk if it was sickness or injury. The place I took it to only releases animals, they can’t keep them if they’re not able to survive in the wild. Idk if it was due to being not fit to be released or if it just wasn’t going to make it either way.
#context: bird was in the parking lot of my apartment for 2 days without moving#possibly sick or injured I don’t know which#I took it to a wildlife rescue#idk if it was inevitable or if it was cause we took too long to take it. not that it was in my control#someone noticed it in the morning but I was already on the way to work#when I came home the rescues were closed#so I had to wait till the next day (thanksgiving) to drop it off#it wasn’t in my control but I still feel shitty about it#mainly because. I worry that if it was an injury then it was caused by the idiotic people that live here#it’s bad enough that we have 2 Egyptian geese that had their wings broken on purpose so they can’t leave this place#I just hope it wasn’t the same situation#people here are always trying to kill or hurt the animals#all these animals living in a damn parking lot. it’s sad. lots of the cats are abandoned pets.#we have: iguanas. raccoons. Muscovy ducks. cats. egyptian geese. and a wide variety of birds.#everything but native birds are trapped here because the road is too dangerous to cross. also there’s just nowhere better for them to go
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