#so technically that number is higher but for the sake of looking normal i accepted the 107 lol

[bootyful-seventeen]

its wild how indigo gave me my spotify wrapped version on books that i bought this year and it's no surprise manga was a popular genre

[tigerkirby215]

5e Illaoi, the Kraken Priestess build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

I’ll take “Champions Everyone Hates” for $300, Larry!

Jokes aside Illaoi was a beyond obvious build with all the Unearthed Arcana subclasses being shown off. With Tasha’s Cauldron on the horizon and recent news that Illaoi is actually getting another skin it only makes sense to make a build for her.

But this is also an opportunity to make something interesting. In particular I see a lot of people online saying that the only viable melee Warlock is Hexblade, and while the Hexblade subclass certainly makes creating a melee Warlock easier it isn’t the only path you can choose. So to prove that you can play other Warlocks with a big ball to slam people with here’s a more melee focused Warlock build!

GOALS

Sheeyutu Nagakabouros - So Illaoi needs tentacles. What? Lurker in the Deep Warlock? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Broken bones teach better lessons - Illaoi is a buff lady and I want her to crush my head between her thighs... What? Uhhh STRENGTH BUILD TIME!

Many gods ask for worship; they are weak gods - Probably the only hard part about this build is going to be ripping people’s souls out of their body... Good thing I’m honestly probably not going to do that and simply reflavor some stuff.

RACE

League of Legends has its gods and monsters, but the majority of the characters are human. Variant Humans get to start with a little bit more than the average human, but let’s get the normal things out of the way first: increase your Strength and Charisma by 1 to break bones more easily and to find more people who want you to break their bones. You also get a proficiency in a skill of your choice such as Athletics to lug a giant Kraken god head statue around all day, and a language of your choice like Deep Speech to speak to your god through your statue.

But most importantly you get a free Feat, and unfortunately this is a case of me being forced to stick feats into this build for the sake of aesthetic. Illaoi doesn’t wear armor in-game but I could make the argument that her massive arm pauldrons and general outfit could be seen as Medium armor. So even though you could get Heavy Armor “proficiency” thanks to the Eldritch Armor Invocation from the Class Feature Variants UA I’m instead going to suggest taking the Moderately Armored Feat for Medium Armor proficiency and +1 to your Strength score. Feel free to take something like Great Weapon Master instead if you’re okay with actually wearing Heavy Armor at the cost of an invocation.

ABILITY SCORES

15; STRENGTH - Eat your heart out The Last of Us 2 haters. (BTW screw everyone who’s been harassing Laura Bailey on Twitter. I know this is old news but still.)

14; DEXTERITY - Something something Medium Armor, even if Heavy Armor is an option.

13; CHARISMA - Ultimately this is a requirement for the class we’ll have to be playing, but I’m sure there’s a reason this tentacle-lover keeps showing up to ruin my soloqueue games.

12; CONSTITUTION - Illaoi is a tank in-game and while I’d love this to be higher unfortunately we need other things more.

10; WISDOM - Illaoi has knowledge of the old gods which I’d personally consider to be more Wisdom based than Intelligence.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Signing yourself off to be the priestess of some deep sea Cthulhu monster isn’t something you do when you have a high GPA.

BACKGROUND

Fun fact: you can be a priest and not be a Cleric! The Acolyte background lets you grant your service to a god, even if that god isn’t commonly accepted. You gain some Religion proficiency as well as general Insight, as well as two languages of your choice like Abyssal and Primordial to speak to all the ancient beings of Bilgewater.

Your feature Shelter of the Faithful will be a... little odd for your DM to implement. There are few temples to Nagakabouros, but if you can find followers of the Bearded Lady they will provide shelter for you and your allies, and also support you (and you alone) as their Priestess. But regardless you will still be able to find your people in your hometown, and will be able to perform sermons for your god. Even if those sermons involve cracking skulls.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - WARLOCK 1

Did you enjoy seeing the word “Fighter” a lot in my Garen build? Well you’d better be ready to see a whole lot of “Warlock” in this one. As a Warlock you get two proficiencies from the Warlock skill list so learn about the History of Nagakabouros and also take Intimidation proficiency because I’m pretty fucking intimidated when an Illaoi comes into my lane if you know what I’m saying.

But unlike most classes Warlocks get to choose their subclass at level 1 and low-and-behold we’ll be going with the Lurker in the Deep Unearthed Arcana Patron which will soon be appearing in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. One may ask why I didn’t wait for that book to come out to which I reply “I need to make content.” Regardless you get Scion of the Deep at level 1 to communicate telepathically with (almost) any creature that has an innate swimming speed that’s within 120 feet of you. The creature can understand you regardless of your shared languages and can respond telepathically. Look all I’m saying is that you’ve gotta be able to talk with Nami somehow.

But of course what you’re really here for is Grasp of the Deep. As a bonus action you create a tentacle at a point you can see within 60 feet of you. The tentacle lasts for 1 minute or until you make another tentacle. When you create the tentacle, you can make a melee spell attack against a creature within 10 feet of it. On a hit, the target takes 1d8 cold or lightning damage (your choice when it takes the damage) and its speed is reduced by 10 feet until the start of your next turn. You can also move the tentacle up to 30 feet as a bonus action on your turn and repeat the attack with said bonus action. You can summon the tentacle a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

Yes I did just copy-paste the description of the ability because it’s a lot of words to say something very simple: make tentacle in 60 feet, slam people with bonus action, move it up to 30 feet per round.

But unlike in League you get more than just tentacles at level 1! You also have access to Pact Magic! You can learn two cantrips from the Warlock list: Lightning Lure lets you pull your opponent’s not-quite-soul closer towards you, and Eldritch Blast is an Eldritch Blast that lets you Eldritch Blast; I’m not going to pretend you don’t know what this cantrip is.

You also get two spells from the Warlock list and now it’s time to just take any spell that has the name “Hadar” in it. Arms of Hadar lets you strike everyone near you with tentacles; isn’t it fun to get your ultimate at level 1? For some sort-of Soul Stealing action I’m actually going to recommend Witch Bolt: after hitting an enemy with the spell you can keep hitting them from a distance and they can’t do anything about it! Truthfully though there are a lot of really great spells for this build at first level and I’m sad I can’t list them all, so if you don’t like my spell picks try out:

Hellish Rebuke (Thornmail)

Hex

Protection from Evil and Good

Thunderwave (Subclass-specific spell, otherwise known as “better Arms of Hadar that aren’t tentacles so they’re actually worse)

Yeah level 1 is always overloaded.

LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 2

Second level Warlocks get access to Eldritch Invocations to improve their abilities, and you know what we still need? A proper ability to rip out people’s souls. Shame we won’t get that, but Grasp of Hadar will pull them closer and Lance of Lethargy will slow them for trying to escape their Test of Spirit. These invocations do stack (IE there’s no rule saying you can’t apply both at once) so you can theoretically pull someone 10 feet closer to you and make them 10 feet slower, resulting in 20 total feet of distance you’re gaining on them.

You can also learn another spell at this level and while there are plenty of good ones I’m going to suggest some Thornmail, or rather Armor of Agathys. The spell doesn’t require Concentration, gives you some bulk, and makes enemies think twice about hitting you. And it scales well too!

LEVEL 3 - WARLOCK 3

So how about we get something big to bonk our enemies with? Hello Pact of the Blade! In short you make a weapon in your hands to fight with, and I’d argue that a Maul is probably the closest to a big two-handed bludgeoning weapon.

I should mention that technically you need the Improved Pact Weapon invocation to be able to cast spells while you have a weapon in two hands, but you can get around this by using a component pouch instead of a focus. (And Illaoi seems the type to cast with squid organs.)

Oh and you can learn second level spells now! Spells like Earthbind to make sure your foes don’t take to the sky to escape the wrath of the ocean.

LEVEL 4 - WARLOCK 4

4th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement so it’s time to invest in your main stat: Strength! What was that? Charisma? No no silly Warlocks use Strength obviously, so put +2 into that.

You also learn another spell at this level, and another cantrip! For your cantrip Mage Hand will let you summon a little tentacle for you to grab smaller things at a distance. As for leveled spells Ray of Enfeeblement will let you pack Exhaust for your foes, reducing their attack damage. It’s a bit of a dirty trick but Nagakabouros doesn’t fight fair.

(Artwork by ERDJIE on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 5

5th level Warlocks get another Invocation so guess what we’re taking? Yup: Eldritch Smite, pretty much a given whenever I make a Pact of the Blade build. This will let you slam your foes so hard that they fall over! I’m also going to suggest you replace Lance of Lethargy with Thirsting Blade, as by this point Grasp of Hadar is already pulling them close enough thanks to two Eldritch Blasts per turn.

You can also learn another spell at this level and remember when I said we’d take any spell with the name “Hadar” in the title? Hunger of Hadar lets you make an area pitch black and summon a bunch of tentacles in that area. Basically Hadar is this world’s Nagakabouros. "Bearded Lady, Nagakabouros, names don't matter! Action does."

LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 6

At 6th level your tentacles finally have some lifesteal! And by lifesteal I mean defensive properties. Guardian Grasp lets you use your reaction to make a tentacle shield an ally from a hit, reduce the damage they would’ve taken from an attack by half. The tentacle can shield any ally within 10 feet of it, and it disappears after defending them. Note that this works for spells too, so if someone’s having their soul ripped out of them you can use your abilities to pull it right back in!

Additionally your servitude to the Bearded Lady grants you a Fathomless Soul for the ability to breathe underwater, a swimming speed, and resistance to Cold damage.

And finally you can learn another spell like the Unearthed Arcana spell Spirit Shroud. This spell will let you slow enemies that are near you and also do extra damage.

LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 7

7th level Warlocks get another Invocation but there’s nothing that particularly interests me. May as well get Devil’s Sight in case you’re playing against a Nocturne.

You can also learn another spell at this level and hey look more tentacles!  Evard’s Black Tentacles is a subclass-specific spell that makes tentacles that can hold people down!

LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 8

8th level Warlocks get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Strength by 1 and your Constitution by 1, as those are your two main stats as a Warlock. Definitely.

You can also add another spell to your list, and while there are plenty of great choices I’d opt to rid yourself of the unworthy with Banishment.

(Artwork by Diazex on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 9

9th level Warlocks get access to another Eldritch Invocation, but again none of these are that particularly interesting so I suppose you could grab Otherworldly Leap for the Jump spell at will?

But you get access to another spell and if you need guidance from Nagakabouros then Commune with Nature will let you gather information to aid you to spread your faith.

Now (or ideally sometime before) would also probably be a good time to replace a lot of your old spells, so depending on your DM here’s some spells you should probably swap out, and what they should be swapped to:

Arms of Hadar (RIP tentacles) with Vampiric Touch (3rd level) for some lifesteal. (Enervation at the 5th level is also a decent alternative that works at range.)

Witch Bolt with Dimension Door (4th level) for a Teleport back to lane.

Earthbind with Synaptic Static (5th level) for a Leap of Faith against your foes. (By that I mean it’s my build and I like this spell.)

Ray of Enfeeblement with Cone of Cold (5th level) for another powerful AoE spell in a teamfight.

LEVEL 10 - WARLOCK 10

At 10th level Lurker in the Deep Warlocks can feed their god’s Devouring Maw. As an action you can create a 10 foot radius sphere centered on a point you can see within 60 feet. Each creature in that area must succeed on a Strength saving throw or be restrained. And then: teeth... this feels like Pyke’s thing. Regardless any creature that starts its turn in the area takes 3d6 cold / lightning damage (your choice.)

Restrained creature can try to get out on their action, and at the start of your turn if anyone is in the area you gain temporary hit points equal to your Warlock level. You can use this ability once per short or long rest, so essentially consider it like an extra spell that’s exclusive to you and your faith.

Speaking of extra spells you don’t get another spell known but your tentacles do more damage now: 2d8 to be exact. You also get another cantrip: Minor Illusion will let you summon more small ghost tentacles, except these ones don’t do anything except for fool the enemy into thinking they’ll have a fun laning phase.

LEVEL 11 - WARLOCK 11

11th level Warlocks get their 6th level Mystic Arcanum, which is a spell you can only use once per Long Rest. Basically it’s a regular spell slot, unlike your Warlock slots which come back on a short rest. Unfortunately there really aren’t a lot of Mystic Arcanum options, and the ones at level 6 aren’t spectacular. Circle of Death is probably the best even if the lore is a little iffy.

You can also add another Pact Magic spell to your list: many say that a Dream is a window into one’s soul, so messing with people’s dreams only makes sense for you to test their souls. Oh and you get a third spell slot for your Pact Magic! Yay!

LEVEL 12 - WARLOCK 12

12th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement but I’m going to instead suggest the Resilient feat for Constitution, increasing your CON to a 14 and giving you proficiency in CON saves. Constitution is one of your main stats as a Warlock after all!

You also get another Eldritch Invocation and now it’s finally time for an invocation we will keep! Lifedrinker will let you add your Charisma modifier as damage to your weapon attacks. I know it’s such a weird thing for Warlocks to have since they rarely use Charisma, but it’s still useful!

(Artwork by sharrm on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 13 - WARLOCK 13

At level 13 you get your 7th level Mystic Arcanum. To test weak souls Power Word Pain will see how much they can take before they reach their limit. If a target is at 100 HP or less they are affected by crippling pain. Their speed can be no higher than 10 feet, they have disadvantage on attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws (other than CON saves), and if the target tries to cast a spell, it must first succeed on a Constitution saving throw, or the casting fails and the spell is wasted.

A target suffering this pain can make a Constitution saving throw at the end of each of its turns. On a successful save, the pain ends. While this may seem weak this doesn’t require your concentration, and can set up for all your allies to break the nonbelievers.

You can also add another Pact Magic spell to your list like Elemental Bane. Here’s the trick: pick a damage type of your tentacles that your allies are also doing. This will make both them and your tentacles stronger!

LEVEL 14 - WARLOCK 14

14th level Lurker in the Deep Warlocks get their final ability, Unleash the Depths. As an action, you choose a point within 30 feet of you to summon a manifestation of Nagakabouros. You then have one of two options:

Transport. You and up to five willing creatures of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of the manifestation point are grasped by spectral tentacles and teleported to a point of your choice within 100 miles that you have visited within the past 24 hours.

Fury. You can direct a barrage of spectral tentacles to strike up to five creatures you can see within 30 feet of the manifestation point. Each target must make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save, the creature takes 6d10 cold or lightning damage (your choice) and is knocked prone. On a successful save, it takes half as much damage and is not knocked prone. The tentacles then vanish.

You can only do this once per Long Rest, so you can essentially consider it another Mystic Arcanum of sorts.

LEVEL 15 - WARLOCK 15

15th level Warlocks get their 8th level Mystic Arcanum and to truly test one’s faith try Feeblemind. You choose a target to damage and force them to make an Intelligence save: if they fail their Intelligence and Charisma become 1 and they become unable to do most things that require thinking. (Detailed in the spell.) This spell lasts for thirty days unless healed by a specific spell, afterwards they can try to repeat the save.

But more importantly you get some more Invocations and sweet Bearded Lady we can finally get some good ones! Grab Witch Sight to know the truth behind one’s soul.

And you get one more Pact Magic spell like Sickening Radiance to exhaust the spirit... because it causes Exhaustion... the D&D status not the LoL Summoner Spell.

LEVEL 16 - WARLOCK 16

16th level means an Ability Score Improvement so it’s finally time to stop beating around the bush: get more Charisma so Lifedrinker is better. There really isn’t much other use for it.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 17 - WARLOCK 17

At 17th level you get your 9th level Mystic Arcanum; the strongest spell you can cast! When a soul is too weak to fight it must die: Power Word Kill will instantly kill a target with 100 health or less.

In addition you learn more Pact Magic: by this point your foes should truly Fear you (and the fact that I’m not allowed to take any spell that creates undead.) Yes most enemies by this point can resist fears, but on the bright side you finally have four spell slots for your other spells! (Or Smites.)

LEVEL 18 - WARLOCK 18

18th level Warlocks get their final Eldritch Invocation: Visions of Distant Realms will let you use the vision of the Bearded Lady to see across all of Runeterra... or at least as far as Arcane Eye lets you.

LEVEL 19 - WARLOCK 19

19th level Warlocks get our final Ability Score Improvement and yeah: Charisma for Lifedrinker... among other things.

And you get your final Pact Magic spell: take Hold Monster as the final option to keep an enemy down as you beat them into shape.

LEVEL 20 - WARLOCK 20

20th level Warlocks are Eldritch Masters. You can spend 1 minute praying to regain all your expended Pact Magic slots. Once you regain spell slots with this feature, you must finish a long rest before you can do so again.

...I mean yeah you could just spend an hour to Short Rest, but being able to get 4 more 5th level spell slots in just a minute could be useful! ...Maybe...

FINAL BUILD

PROS

They need wisdom; they don't need teeth - Even though you only have two attacks as a “casting” class you do plenty of damage thanks to Lifedrinker and your tentacles. (Assuming you’re using a Maul) you’re doing 4d6 + 10 bludgeoning, an extra 8 necrotic, and an extra 2d8 of Lightning or Cold damage with your Bonus Action. If you take the averages of those numbers you’re going to be doing about 44 damage per turn! Not to mention Eldritch Smites to truly break their spirits!

Blessed is motion - Your AC shouldn’t be terrible with Medium Armor, but the real strength is in Guardian Grasp. Being able to reduce the damage of an attack by half is universally useful. Above-average HP (thanks to a good CON mod) definitely helps too.

I am a teacher; Bilgewater will learn - Despite your weak mental stats you have a good amount of utility with proficiency in a number of skills and spells to gather information like Arcane Eye, Commune With Nature, and Dream. Not to mention Witch Sight which will see through any illusions or shapeshifting. This means you’re a fighter who can see through invisibility!

CONS

If I hate something, I destroy it - Illaoi is a big lady, and while her physical abilities may be strong her mental capabilities are a little lacking. Your Wisdom saves are fine enough thanks to Proficiency but your Intelligence and Dexterity saves are rather subpar, and as mentioned earlier your Ability Checks aren’t going to be great thanks to your low mental.

My god is not love; it is a kick in the pants - All the memeing I did in this build aside the focus on Strength over Charisma was probably not the brightest, especially considering that the hit chance of your tentacles is based on your Charisma. See if you can get Point Buy for this build instead to max out Strength and Charisma: Medium Armor was taken more for cosmetic than anything, and Heavy Armor would probably be a better choice. And of course feel free to take Charisma ASIs early if you think you need them.

Something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens - Truthfully while 9th level spells an extra invocations are nice this build would’ve probably benefited a lot more from some Fighter or Paladin levels to get a Fighting Style and subclass features. I built this build Warlock-exclusive partially for flavor and partially to show that melee Warlocks are possible outside of Hexblade, but 5 levels into Fighter or Paladin would get you Extra Attack (so you wouldn’t need Thirsting Blade) along with other class features. And starting as Fighter or Paladin would let you take armor proficiency too, so you wouldn’t need a feat for it! (You could grab something like Great Weapon Master instead!)

But here you have it: a level 20 Warlock build, a melee Warlock that isn’t Hexblade, a devout character with no Cleric levels, a Tasha’s build before Tasha’s comes out, and a powerful melee fighter with good use of their Bonus Action and plenty of utility through spellcasting. As long as you live life to its fullest and grab every combat by the reigns then Nagakabouros shall be pleased. Test the nonbelievers and strike at the heart of corruption! For it is her way... to get camped all game by the jungler... and still get double kills.

(Artwork by epimeral on DeviantArt)

[getoffthesoapbox]

VK Science II - Odds & Ends

So I thought about it, but I hope my straightforward answers don’t come across as condescending! Aside from being blunt, I try not to write too much, but I guess it’s not a problem now? ’(^_^) In any case, before I get to the next theory I want to respond to some of your points :)

Your answers didn’t come off as condescending at all, don’t worry! You just seemed like a typical science-oriented person wanting to make sure everything was accurate before proceeding, which I completely respect.  (I have a thick skin anyway, and I’m fairly blunt myself though without as lofty a reason, fufu. ;D) But yes, feel free to write to your heart’s content, as long posts are a speciality of my blog anyway!

Pureblood Pregnancy: The reason why I can’t answer this is because Hino has full creative freedom to create whatever duration of pregnancy she would like for humans birthing Purebloods :/ Would you expect it to be longer? Probably. Honestly, though, I already don’t agree with her concept of Purebloods having a range of duration of pregnancy rather than a set time as most other organisms do (O_o)

Teething: This could be another reason why the Purebloods were scattered as I would think that this process would terrify their parents and even lead some to, sadly, label their children as “monsters,” abandon them, and leave them for death.

Well, of course Hino can do whatever she wants with the narrative elements; she could go off the rails (and has) if she wants and we’d be stuck having to try to pretend it makes sense. I honestly found her making the pregnancies 2-4 years to be just a ridiculous method to excuse Yuuki’s teen pregnancy and allow her to give birth in her twenties. I don’t think when Hino originally came up with VK that she ever intended the pregnancies to last longer than the human terms–it’s just that Hino needed to make the accident pregancy “acceptable” to shoujo audiences. This is just my personal theory, but for the sake of the story I’d say that the reason Pureblood pregnancies last longer is probably due to maladapted hormones of some kind that require the fetus to gestate longer in order to fully develop. Originally, before the Kaname magic pregnancy, Hino made it clear in arc 2 that Purebloods had a difficult time conceiving (hence why Haruka and Juri only had two kids despite living 3K+ years, and why the Pureblood numbers were shrinking despite them being immortal). That’s just my current thought from where we are, fufu. Really, though, I think it was just Hino trying to make Yuuki’s unacceptable teen pregnancy more palatable. =P

The Vmpr gene: In regards to your question… I’m not exactly sure since we’re not shown any examples. Not just that, but I intend to view human-turned-vampires (I always wonder if I word this write .-.) from a disease perspective. Based on my theory… I guess they would always code for humans since it’s a disease acquired later in life. In Zero’s case, I want to say that they would be human since the majority of Zero’s genes code for human and, again, I do not view the Level D’s as carrying the Vmpr gene, but… Well, maybe my next theory will help ’(^_^)

My thought was in line with yours that Zero (and any other Level Ds/Es) would code for human if paired with a human partner. Yuuki’s Pureblood would obviously be dominant, which would probably place Ren as a Level C or perhaps a Noble at best. 

Charisma: OHHH (O_O) Yeah, I just viewed those scenes as “hypnotism” rather than “charisma.” I see people’s willingness to listen to and follow Kaname as a result of charisma rather than Rido manipulating (hypnotizing) Aidou - they’re two completely different cases. As far as Yuuki’s charisma, I saw it as how she was primarily raised human and wasn’t sure how to act as a Pureblood princess (an authoritative position), so she lacked the same noble nature Kaname and even Sara exude that would attract others. In short, I think it comes down to how you define “charisma” in VK XD

Well Hino’s notorious for not directly explaining things and leaving things up for interpretation, but she makes a point of having the nobles fawn over Kaname in the first arc that he doesn’t use his charisma against the other vampires, implying that it’s an actual ability (if I remember right; it’s been a while since I’ve revisited arc 1). This would of course imply that his personal magnetism could be amplified to control his fellows (which he actually does when he murders the council). But this is assuming of course that charisma isn’t a social construct that the nobles have imagined due to their historical worship of the Purebloods. If it’s actually just in the nobles’ heads, then we’re just working with natural charm and Rido’s and Sara’s abilities are separate from the charisma. Either way, you’re spot on about Yuuki I think. Either she’s just deficient in charisma because she was turned back into Pureblood later in life, or because the Nobles saw her as human first, they can’t go into worship mode for her. Same results either way I suppose. XD

Mixed Children: …This is a weird title for this point considering how I am mixed LOL XD Technically, I can’t answer this, which goes back to why I was salty (=__=) In any case, I don’t think they would birth humans because vampirism is dominant. Due to the percentage of vampiric genes a Pureblood would be bringing in, it’s unlikely they would have a human child. The only evidence that kind of supports this is that it is implied (to my knowledge, at least) that the rise of the Aristocrats came from the Progenitors mixing with humans, which would follow the Night class’s explanation of the higher levels of “human blood” aka DNA as you go down the hierarchy…

Sorry, I couldn’t think of a better simple paraphrase to cover all the potential pairings. XD Hope I didn’t offend, lol. But okay, that makes sense that the vampiric gene would be dominant, so you wouldn’t have any human children cropping up unexpectedly (unless I guess there was another environmental shift that reversed things). 

NaCl: (  O_o) Ah… But are there Purebloods that have some human blood? Is that why the Kurans are powerful? …Because they have none? Wait… What? UGH that changes everything! This is why I gave up on figuring out the inheritance of genes! X( And in the first place, WHY would the Kurans be the only ones? Huh? Huh?! Did everyone else just “conveniently” die? And I’m not supposed to side-eye that? Yeah, ok, I see you Hino (  T_T) *diffuses in high concentrations of Na+*

Haha, oh no, I don’t think I meant to imply that Purebloods have any human blood, only to question whether or not it was possible for them to birth a human child if the recessive traits lined up right I think? Obviously they’d have no human blood in them as they’d be the purest expression of the vmpr gene, right? Sorry, I got wound up with speculating what the story would be like if two Purebloods accidentally had a recessive human child or if there was a character who was a more human expressing Pureblood/Noble (such as, say, a Noble who had all the traits except no powers manifest, or a Pureblood who had bloodlust but no fangs, or short lived Purebloods, etc.). That was more speculation about where Hino could have taken the story. ;D (See, and here’s where my narrative theory tangenting comes into play, so just smack me when I go overboard, fufu.) But no, I think your theories are right on and it’s not an inconsistency on Hino’s part; it was just me rambling incoherently. XD No need for you to become a pillar of salt over it, methinks. =P

Zero: I’m getting ready to review my theory before sending it in a little bit. Before that, since you’re curious about Zero and I’m sure a lot of your followers are, could you emphasize some special traits of his that are mentioned in the story, so I don’t miss any? I’m not sure I’ll be able to cover them since his hunter genes will play a factor. If I can, I might make it a separate submission. I want to point out that I know that you’ll probably point out Zero delaying his fall to bloodlust and descent to vampirism, but I intend to cover this for Level D vampires in general.

Oh sure! The big one of course is that he overcame the twin curse in the womb, allowing his twin to be born rather than devoured (as vampiric twins are and as hunter twins are due to the vampiric genes they carry). The second unique one is that he can overcome the Master/Servant bond (where a Master can hijack and control his actions). The third, and this is only sort of implied by Takuma during the last battle with Sara, is that he seems to have a sort of weird “Pureblood charisma” effect–where he’s basically to the Purebloods what they are to the Nobles. For some inexplicable reason, they’re all drawn to him/entranced by him despite him being about as low class a vampire as you can get. It’s implied that this is all due to his ability to overcome the Master/Servant bond, but if that was all there was, only Shizuka should be interested in him because she’s his Master. 

As for Zero delaying his bloodlust and his fall, I never saw that as particularly unique to him as Zero (but of course we never got to see a normal person get turned and fall, so we have no idea how long the process usually takes). But given how chill Kaien was about it, and that both Kaien and Kaname seemed to expect “when” it would happen, the process Zero went through in this just seemed to be normal Level D experience in my estimation. Happy to hear your thoughts on this of course, but I myself never saw this as part of Zero’s special characteristics. 

Hunters: I know I said I wasn’t going to address this point, but I did look up some things regarding the hunters. Since the first hunters drank the Hooded Woman’s blood, they didn’t just consume her red blood cells, which contain no DNA, but her white blood cells, which do… Although, someone can double check me on that since I had to look that up. As for what that would do and how that fits into my theory scientifically, I’m not sure, but we know what happens in VK, so meh; we’re already ignoring blood types, so why not? I still don’t understand the science and how it would genetically alter a whole group of people, so that’s all I got for this point.

I didn’t know white blood cells contained genetic info but red didn’t! That’s a fun fact. XD /random nerd 

Well we can just assume that what happened was the Hooded Woman ordered her genes to meld with the Hunters’ legacies so they can pass them on to their children (we know the Purebloods have control over their blood within other people, so we can easily allow for the Hooded Woman to have given the order here, or perhaps the cells just did what they do and took over). 

Thanks for continuing this discussion with me! I’ll send in my next theory soon! Until then :)

I should be thank you for hanging in there with me while I dropped out to play games! =) Will be looking out for your next theory!

[anamelesstraveler]

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A Sterek fanfic, rated G.

4,975 words | Complete

At Lydia Martin’s Nereid Crown they have a code: “Somebody asked for the Sea Witch.”

Valentine’s Day Prompt: “I’m the service worker who saw your datemate break up with you on Valentine’s Day. (Heartless!)”

This story includes a different first meeting AU, pining Stiles, unresolved romantic tension, Stiles Stilinski not knowing about werewolves, and Kate Argent. Which is its own warning. She’s just as creepy and manipulative as she always is. Referenced emotional abuse and manipulation in reference to her as well. 

Nothing like being two weeks late for Valentine’s Day! This was meant to be a simple, SHORT fic. Like 1-2k short. Instead it’s almost 5k?

Code Sea Witch

——————–———————

Valentine’s Day is one prolonged, nightmarish fever dream that Stiles Stilinski can’t wake up from.

Don’t get him wrong, he thoroughly enjoys the entire ordeal. From the chocolate fueled chaos of elementary school to the borderline war strategy that he concocted every year in hopes of getting Lydia Martin to notice him, Stiles has always thrown himself full force into the Lovers’ Holiday. Even now that he’s grown past the desperation to have a Valentine for the sake of having one, he still adores it.

Which is why Stiles loves working for the Nereid Crown, Lydia Martin’s crowning gem of a restaurant in New York City. Technically he’s a consultant on the marketing and logistics side of the business. (It gives him a front row seat to Lydia Martin’s genius in action, which is a joy in itself.) But sometimes, when the floor staff is short and it’s the biggest couple’s holiday of the year, Lydia pulls the friendship card.

Which is how Stiles ends up donning the black waistcoat, bow tie, and apron and finds himself in the thick of the Valentine’s Day chaos.

And he loves it.

Because Stiles Stilinski is a special kind of twisted and turned out to be both a cynic and a hopeless romantic all in one, and working on Valentine’s Day is the greatest spectacle of his year. It’s chaos, sure. The Nereid is a nightmare the evening of Valentine’s Day, sure. But it’s the best kind of soap opera. The anticipation. The drama. The botched proposals. The Valentine’s dates that just won’t go right. It’s schadenfreude given form. 

And then there’s also potential for joy: the lovestruck smiles and easy companionship. The love that just emanates off of people that makes Stiles, even at his most cynical, consider that there’s someone out there for everyone; that the love he remembers seeing in his parents wasn’t just a once-in-the-universe fluke.

Stiles always puts up a token fight about it, but working the Nereid on Valentine’s Day is its own special kind of entertainment to him. He’ll even withstand the nightmarish customers for it.

This time around, things aren’t going too badly. It’s dipping into evening and Stiles hasn’t been snapped at or had something spilled on him yet. He’s got a few interesting couples on his radar for the night: a guy about his age who looks equally as ready to puke out of nervousness as he is ready to propose to his pretty dinner date; a couple who Stiles is pretty sure are working out how they can engage in foreplay right there in the goddamned restaurant without anyone noticing; and a young lady who’s looking increasingly repulsed with every word that comes out of her date’s mouth.

Stiles’ latest table, though, features a ridiculously attractive power couple. The kind that looks like they’ve just walked off a fashion magazine or a Hollywood movie set. The woman is perhaps in her mid-to-late-thirties, blonde and statuesque. Her features are sharp and her smile hungry. She’s wearing a sparkling blue dress that hugs her lithe (surprisingly muscular) form in all the right places. The shimmering gems around her neck probably cost more than Stiles’ entire higher education did. She’s a woman that radiates power and adventure and probably eats guys like Stiles for breakfast. 

Her partner is slightly less intimidating (only slightly), but no less like he’s light years out of Stiles’ league. Even without having spoken to them yet, he can see that the man is a quiet one. A few years younger than his girlfriend, dark-haired, and with a carefully maintained scruff that is… well, something straight out of Stiles’ fantasies, let’s be honest. And the way he fills out his suit is nothing to overlook either. The man looks nervous around the eyes, though.

Maybe this table will be the second wedding proposal of the night.

Stiles thinks better of it, though, when he approaches the table. “Oh, Derek, the Nereid? Really? Should I be flattered that you remembered?” It’s not so much the words, but the tone that has his steps faltering. It’s sweet and sharp, a malicious undertone to it that makes Stiles’ skin crawl. “Should I be expecting an evening carriage ride through the Park next? You always were pathetically romantic type.”

“Kate…” the man sighs, in the fashion of a person who has gone through an argument one too many times.

“No, no, it’s cute. Like an adorable puppy begging for scraps.”

And that’s when Stiles decides it’s time to make presence known. He plasters his most pleasant and customer-service-approved smile on and steps up beside the table. “Good evening. Thank you both for the Nereid your Valentine’s destination tonight! I’m Stiles, and I’ll be your server. Have either of you dined with us before?” 

The woman’s - Kate’s - smile is sly and sweet, a very pretty smile, but there’s something about it that makes Stiles think of a spider eyeing up a particularly juicy fly. “Oh, no, we haven’t. I’ve always wanted to come here, though.” Stiles doesn’t have a chance to go into his practiced speech of the evening’s specials, because she tilts her head, blonde waves tumbling over her shoulder. “Stiles? That’s an interesting name - what kind is it?”

“Mine?” He jokes. “It’s a family alias.” He gestures to the shiny name pin on his waistcoat. (Like hell he was going to let Lydia put his birth name on the damned thing.)

“Ooh,” she coos, “mysterious. I bet all the girls are just dying to unravel your secrets. And they just love a man in uniform.”

Is… is she for real? Stiles fights to keep his expression impassive and polite, and not to stare at the woman in disbelief. “I’m a waiter, not a decorated veteran,” he says, and winces because it comes out far less professional than is acceptable. But it only seems to delight Kate, and she lets out a boisterous laugh. He risks a glance at her lover, the stony clench of the man’s jaw only making this even more awkward. He’s heard of couples that consider flirting with other people foreplay, even met a few of them. But that isn’t what’s happening. The man, whose name is apparently Derek, doesn’t seem the least bit amused by his girlfriend’s flirtations.

“Oh, don’t be so jealous, Derek,” Kate purrs, leaning across to shove playfully at his arm. “Being insecure isn’t becoming of you, sweetie.”

“Kate…”

“Kate,” she mimics, and turns to Stiles with a mean little twinkle in her eye. “He can be so touchy.”

“Um.” Stiles falters.

Derek’s eyes are resolutely trained on the table, as if the weave of the tablecloth can somehow transport him a thousand miles away. And yeah, Stiles is feeling a little bit the same right now.

“How about I get you two started on some appetizers?”

--------------------2---------------------

Stiles has a pretty good sense of character when it comes to people. He knows Scott is the best kind of people, the steadfastly loyal kind that are too few and precious, though often too trusting. He’s known Lydia Martin is a world-changing force to be reckoned with since before she let the world know she was a genius. He knows that Allison is genuinely good and kind, but hiding secrets. He’s always known Jackson Whittemore was a raging asshole, but a harmless one.

He gets it wrong, sometimes, sure. He’d thought Isaac Lahey was absolutely bad news. The worst kind of jerk. Isaac, as it turns out, is pretty okay. Still a jerk, but he’s Stiles’ brand of jerk so that’s okay.

(The original dislike might have come because Scott genuinely liked the guy and at the time… well, at the time Stiles had not been prepared for Scott genuinely liking another close male friend. It’s okay. Stiles is an adult now. He can admit that he had been jealous and wrong and Isaac is pretty okay.)

Anyway, the point is, this Kate character is Bad News.

It’s the kind of observation that would get him a reproachful “maybe you should mind your own business, Stiles” if he mentioned it to anyone, and he knows that. He’s only getting a tiny, limited glimpse at two strangers and making judgments. Sure. Stiles can admit to that.

But these glimpses he catches don’t paint a flattering picture of the couple’s relationship. Stiles keeps an eye on them as the pair work their way through the first two courses of their meal. From afar it almost looks normal. Kate has a magnetic energy to her. She laughs and smiles, but the look in her eyes… it’s never kind. Sometimes when the woman speaks, Derek flinches. He never looks anything other than cornered, either.

It reminds Stiles, rather vividly, of the final days of Melissa and Rafael McCall’s relationship. When things had gotten so toxic that arguments didn’t seem to end when the shouting had stopped. When the looming and the purposefully barbed words had reached their peak, and Melissa never stopped being tense in her own house.

Yeah, at best this couple’s relationship has gone toxic and is on its way out. At worst…

At worst, Stiles is starting to wonder how he can slip Derek a hotline number without being noticed.

Stiles is heading back to their table to clear the second course dishes when he manages to catch their conversation. The great (and tiring) thing about a server’s job is that it makes you practically invisible. So no one even notices him standing nearby as Kate leans across the table. “It’s cute, you know, how you think this means anything,” she says lightly. “It’s not going to change anything. I got what I wanted, sweetie.”

Derek freezes. He’s been fiddling with something under the table as Stiles had walked up, and Stiles has this sudden, uncontrollable fear that it’s a ring box. ‘Oh man, don’t do it,’ he desperately wants to tell the man. ‘She’s not worth it. Trouble with a capital T.’

“Don’t do this, Kate,” Derek says softly. His voice comes out measured, but from the firm line of his mouth, it definitely hurts him to say it.

Kate sighs, as if this very conversation is a burden on her. “Really? Come on, Derek, you can’t possibly think that I was in love with you. I don’t do mutts. Remember?”

The flash of hurt in the man’s eyes is so sharp that Stiles’ heart drops into his feet. He’s suddenly torn between beating a hasty retreat and going over there to drag the woman out by her perfectly highlighted and styled hair.

“Oh, don’t make that face. You always make that face. You’re pretty, yeah. And good in the sack, once trained right. But really? Who in their right mind… well,” she sniffs, and tosses a lock of hair over his shoulder. And then her smile goes predatory. “It won’t matter in a few days. Your family will sign the contract, and then you’ll be under our control.”

Derek sits up straighter, his expression going steely. “They won’t sign it once they know what you did. None of them will. And I don’t suppose your brother will like to hear about it either.”

Stiles doesn’t have to look Kate to know her reaction. Her derisive scoff is enough. “You think they’ll believe you? Take your word over mine? Don’t be an idiot, Derek. You’re the predator here. All I have to do is say the right thing and make the right accusations. Then they’ll as good as put you down, dog.”

Despite the background noise of the restaurant, all seems to go quiet in their little corner of the world.

And then Derek slowly brings his hands out from under the table, and places his cellphone between them. “It won’t be my word, Kate. It’ll be yours.”

Stiles could crow with laughter at the look on the woman’s face. The shock, the outrage. But then her face twists in a nasty sneer, and her hand lashes out, nails digging into the back of Derek’s hand as she leans close. To his credit, the man doesn’t flinch, but his eyes seem to unfocus - the only visible evidence of how he’s steeling himself.

“Do you think you’re clever, little boy? Do you think for even a second this will work? Nothing you do matters, Derek. I’ve already won. Why don’t you just be a good boy and delete that, before I get angry and make you regret it--”

Okay, yeah, that’s enough.

Stiles’ heart is in this throat, a fury so hot rushing in his veins that it is actually a little terrifying. “Ma’am?” he interjects sharply. Not even the anger can quell the moment of fear as her stabbing glare turns on him. “I think it’s time that you left. Or else I’m going to consider having you removed from the premises. Got it?”

For a moment, Stiles fears that she’s going to fight him on it. But her instead she just smiles in… what he supposes is meant to be cordial. But the flinty look in her eye only makes it seem like she’s seconds from murdering him. “Alright, sugar.” Kate raises gracefully from her chair as if nothing has happened.

At Stiles’ motion, Derek moves to stand as well. He’s watching Stiles with a new light in his eyes, unreadable, as if Stiles is a puzzle he can’t solve. It makes his spine tingle.

“We’re all going to walk towards the door,” he explains instead of meeting the man’s gaze. “Ma’am, we’ll call you a cab.”

“Don’t bother--”

“No, we’re calling you a cab. Or a car. I don’t care. But someone will be staying with you until we can be sure you’ve left.” Stiles ushers them towards the front as casually as he can, keeping himself between the two. He drops Kate off at the maître d' with explicit instructions to call a car for her and to have someone wait with her. He makes meaningful eye contact with the maître d' until she understands his unspoken message. After that, he doesn’t much care what she does.

“I’ll see you soon, Derek,” Kate calls, all too happily.

Stiles isn’t imagining the subtle hunch of the man’s shoulders, and he gently hovers and arm behind him as he gestures towards the kitchen. “This way, sir,” he says softly. He steers Derek through the hustle of the kitchen, expertly dodging around staff. He pulls Hayden Romero to a stop as she attempts to hurry by. “Hey, Hayden, you got a crowd tonight?”

“My last is about ready to go. Why?”

Oh, thank god. “Could you cover my tables for me? I’ve got three left right now. Somebody asked for the Sea Witch.”

Hayden’s eyes flicker towards Derek, regarding the man quietly, and then she sighs. “Sure, Stiles. But you owe me.”

“Absolutely. Thanks, Hayden. The tips from those my tables are yours.”

Derek only speaks up once she’s gone, and Stiles is leading him towards the back. “Sea Witch?” he asks.

“House code for we’re about to work some magic for a customer. Lydia’s idea. She’s a sucker for all things Little Mermaid.” He pats the man’s arm. And wow, okay, the muscle underneath his suit sleeve is unreal. “Right this way, sir!” he chirps, pretending his voice doesn’t crack.

--------------------3---------------------

“Working some magic” turns out to be setting Derek up at the VIP table in the kitchen that Lydia usually reserves for high end critics and friends. He doesn’t really have authority to make that call, but since Stiles just happens to be one of those friends, he think she’ll let it slide this time. Stiles leaves him there for a moment to go get more comfortable, slipping into the spare office and shucking off his apron and bowtie, and sighing in relief as he unbuttons the top button on his dress shirt and rolls the sleeves up.

He grabs Derek’s meal on the way back, hesitating only briefly before scooping up Kate’s order and a bottle of his favorite house wine as well.

Derek stares at him for a long time when he presents all of this to him. And even harder when he sets Kate’s plate down across from him and then slides unceremoniously into the seat. “What are you doing?” he asks flatly.

“Well, I was going to just throw her dish away,” Stiles hedges. “But that’d be wasting food. And our hake dish is to die for, so here I am. It turns out that I’m free until closing, so here I am. Wine?” He clicks his nails against the bottle inquisitively.

Derek is giving him that confused, somewhat mystified stare that, by this point in his life, Stiles is intimately familiar with. But he offers his wine glass anyway.

(Up close, Derek’s eyes are a breathtaking variation of hazel. Green with flecks of gold, blue, and grey, making it seem like a galactic swirl of color. They’re every expressive, even when he tries to keep his face sour and stoic.)

They tuck into their meal in silence, the relative chaos of the kitchen doing its best to cover it up. That doesn’t make it any less awkward. But Stiles is determined not to let it bother him.

“Why are you doing this?” Derek asks eventually.

Stiles pauses, wine glass halfway to his lips. “What, eating?”

The other man pulls off the absolute bitchiest eye roll Stiles has ever seen in his life. And he counts Lydia, Jackson, and Isaac among his friends. It’s actually kind of amazing. “Eating with me.”

“Weeeell. It’d be lonely without a dinner partner, right?”

He knows it’s a misstep as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Derek’s expression goes shuttered and cold. “I don’t need your pity.”

“Pity?” he rushes to soothe. “No, see, pity would be if I gave you this meal for free. You still have to pay for yours. I am eating this and I’m getting this for free.” Derek is less than convinced by that, though. Stiles sighs, and sets his glass down. “Look, so… I don’t know why. Honest truth here.” That’s a lie. A total lie; Stiles knows exactly why he’s going the extra mile for a complete stranger. But admitting it would make him look like an asshole. “I could’ve let you eat alone out in the dining room, feeling like everyone was watching you. Or I could’ve left you alone back here and let you… I dunno, wallow or whatever. And you’d have every right to. Because that out there? That was fucked up.

“But, see-- okay, so my dad is a cop right? -- Just follow me on this one. -- He’s seen his fair share of life-altering shit. Stuff that makes your entire world just go crashing to a halt. And it’s important to work through that stuff, sure. But what always helped him was that he’d come home after a bad day, and he’d still have me and my mom there going about our lives. He’d still have to take out the trash and have meals with his family. And that is what helped remind him that the world will go on, even when he felt like it couldn’t.” Stiles glances up from the table, and jolts upon finding Derek gazing intently at him. That vulnerable, searching expression on the man’s face is not something he can handle right now. “So here I am. Reminding you that even though you’ve been hit with all this shit, the world is still going enough for all this--” he gestures at himself, “--to share a meal with you. And if you wanna just sit in silence and eat you can totally do that. I mean, I’ll probably just keep rambling at you, but you can totally do that.”

There he goes again, making a fool of himself in front of attractive people. It’s the story of his life, honestly.

Derek surprises him, though, by hesitantly offering his hand. “I guess there are worse dinner guests. Derek Hale,” he greets.

Stiles grins, and accepts his hand. “Stiles Stilinski.”

Derek scoffs. “I thought you were joking before. That’s really your name?”

“Like I said, family nickname. My first name is a Polish monstrosity that grates upon delicate American ears.”

The dark-haired man leans forward. “Try me.”

--------------------4---------------------

Stiles Stilinski is in trouble.

So much trouble.

He’s pretty sure he’s fallen in love with Derek Hale before they start dessert.

Goddamnit.

It’s only a slight exaggeration. Derek is incredibly witty in conversation, when he’s not lapsing into almost brooding silences. (Stiles can’t exactly blame him on that one, given the course of the evening.) He can keep up with Stiles in conversation - a feat in itself. Although he kind of cheats, because even when he doesn’t say something, his eyebrows seem to speak a language all of their own, in various flavors of “shut up, Stiles” and “wow, you’re an idiot.”

He’s kind of an asshole, nonverbally brow-beating a practical stranger like that. But it turns out that that really does it for Stiles. So he doesn’t complain. Well, not too much.

Stiles manages to get a handful of personal details out of him over the next hour. He’s thirty-one. He works for his family’s business, as a record keeper and sometimes-interpreter. Most of his family lives upstate, and Derek misses it. He likes the city, but he misses the space. He has a Master’s in linguistics and is fluent in four languages and proficient in a handful of others.

And apparently Polish is one of those, because he pronounces Stiles’ first name correctly on the first go.

(“No!” Stiles exclaims.

Derek stares down at the notepad Stiles had passed to him. “Miecyzslaw? Really?”

“Damnit, it took me the first nine years of my life to pronounce my own name properly! I called myself Mischief until I was seven! Do not sit there and pretend it was easy, you smug bastard.”

Which is far more casual than what he’s thinking, which is: ‘Babcia always said to marry someone who could pronounce my name.’

The other man grins, and passes the notepad back. “Stick with Stiles,” he says, completely ignoring Stiles’ tirade.

What a jerk.)

It’s not bad. And by not bad, Stiles means he’s unfairly attracted to what he’s seen of Derek so far, charmed and more than a little rankled - in the best of ways. He deludes himself for a while, imagining that this is an actual date - that Stiles had asked Derek to dine with him at the Nereid and gave him the VIP treatment to impress this wonderful, beautiful man. He lets himself wonder what it would be like to touch Derek’s hand, or to have those eyes gaze at him lovingly.

But reality isn’t on his side. This isn’t a date. And the interest Stiles imagines he sees is clouded by misery.

He doesn’t ask about Kate, or what happened out in the dining room. He wants to ask a million questions about how and why. But instead he just leaves it open for Derek to discuss with a complete stranger if he wants to. If nothing else, Stiles can at least give him something like a pleasant evening after the bullshit he’d just witnessed.

The fact that Stiles cares so much about whether or not he should stick his nose into Derek’s business reminds him that he’s in trouble. So much trouble. The kind of trouble where he knows that he’s going to let Derek get away, because Stiles is an asshole but tonight he isn’t going to be that kind of asshole that swoops in when someone is at their lowest emotionally.

There’s a quiet scoff and Lydia Martin all but materializes beside their table in all her glory. She fixes them with her appraising eyes, and tucks a wavy lock of, perfectly styled, strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. “The Sea Witch code is only supposed to be used to save a customer experience, Stiles. Not to get yourself a date.”

Across the table, Derek’s eyes go wide and Stiles’ own rush of panic is reflected there. Shit. “That’s not--” he rushes to explain. “I wouldn’t--”

Lydia’s brows arch in silent, damning disbelief. Derek is watching him again, expression stormy, and it makes Stiles want to crawl into a hole.

“That’s not what this is,” he says firmly.

“Mhm,” Lydia hums. “Well whatever this is or isn’t, we’re getting ready to close up and need you in the dining room soon. So you might want to call Mister Hale a car.” She nods to Derek. “I hope you had a good evening at the Nereid.”

“I… thank you,” Derek mumbles, clearly uncomfortable. Stiles can’t blame him there. He’s not sure anyone would call Derek’s evening a good one. Lydia shoots Stiles a pointed glance as she struts off to direct the closing preparation. And then they’re left in painfully awkward silence.

Stiles fights not to sink lower in his chair. “Right, well,” he says, trying to sound casual. But the words come out too fast. “I’ll pass off our dishes and see about getting you a car then--”

“Was she right?”

Stiles freezes. “Uh?”

“About you bringing me back here for a date.”

He cringes. “No! Well, I mean…”  Stiles can’t take this. He can’t take Derek’s eyes on him in this moment, quietly watching, gauging his reaction. Every answer sounds like the wrong one. “You’re like, ridiculously attractive and you seem like an amazing guy and I’m very, very bisexual and also so very weak. And I don’t even know if you like guys, but--” No, no, this isn’t what he wants to say. It sounds like a rejection after a mediocre date. Stiles clenches his jaw, and takes a breath. “No. I would pretty much sell my firstborn if it meant I’d get a chance to go on a date with you. Or to, you know, even have you give me the time of day. But not like this. All I wanted to do was let you finish your meal without feeling like everyone was watching, and to maybe have some company until you could go home and, hey, maybe have a well-deserved breakdown. Or whatever.”

Stiles isn’t sure if it’s a good or bad thing that Derek doesn’t answer him. It’s probably a bad thing. But hey, it’s not like Stiles ever had a chance anyway. He resigns himself to the quiet humiliation of it. Oh, he’ll be anything but quiet tonight when he calls Scott to lament about his luck, or lack thereof, in romance. But for now he can take it with grace - if forced grace.

It all goes to plan until he’s waiting with Derek for his car. Cleaning up their meal had let him focus on something other than Derek watching every move he made. But now the silence yawns open between them, as if it’s slowly filling the five foot space around them, intending to drown them in it. Stiles’ very skin starts to itch. He sneaks chewing on his fingers now and again.

He can’t. He can’t do this.

“So…”

“You know I--”

They stop.

“Sorry,” Stiles hurries to say.

“Oh, what were you going to…” Derek says simultaneously. Their words come to a halt again.

Bemused, Stiles gestures for him to continue.

“You know I can’t,” Derek says at last.

Despite already knowing that to be the case, Stiles’ heart sinks. It’s silly, really. Of course Derek can’t. And yet still it somehow disappoints him to hear it. “Yeah, no, totally. I totally get that. No questions there. Wasn’t even considering it.”

Derek’s gaze is piercing, but he doesn’t seem angry. “You’re lying.”

A lump forms in his throat, momentarily blocking the onslaught of words his brain promptly spews out. “Only a little? On any other day I would kill to be your date. You… You seem like a really awesome dude.” An awesome dude? Really Stiles? “But asking you out right now? It’s not right. You don’t deserve that.”

Derek doesn’t say anything at first. He’s got this look on his face, as if Stiles has somehow said something completely incomprehensible. Which isn’t exactly a foreign concept for Stiles, but not like this. “Thank you,” he says eventually. And he steps closer, close enough that Stiles can breathe in the warm, clean scent of him, and leans in to press the gentlest of kisses to the corner of his mouth.

Stiles’ entire body electrifies at the touch.

“Thank you,” Derek says again as he pulls away.

“You’re, uh. You’re welcome?” he almost squeaks in return.

Derek graces him with a brief smile, small but dazzling. “My car’s here. It was… nice, having dinner with you.”

Stiles can only nod.

“Good night, Stiles.” Derek turns to leave. He’s nearly to the car before Stiles can form words.

“Derek, wait!” He jogs up after him, fingers twitching uncertainly as he lays a hand on his arm. “I-- You have someone, right? Someone you can talk to?” When Derek doesn’t answer right away, he quickly pats down his pockets until he finds his cards, and offers one. “Here. If you need someone. Not-- I’m not making a pass, I promise. I know you-- just take it?”

And he does. Derek carefully takes the card, glancing at it for a tense second, and then slips it into his pocket.

Neither of them seem to know what to say after that. So Stiles just pats his arm and lets him go. Just like he promised himself he would.

And maybe he watches the cab pull away and head off down the street for a few minutes after, hoping that Derek will be okay and won’t need to call him. No matter how much Stiles would like to see him again.

-----------------------------------------

END.