#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[ottosbigtop]

Thinking abt trolls 3 and why it picked up so much traction compared 2 the other 2 movies. Like technological advancements aside I think the main thing is just the character lineup.

Movie one was mostly branch and poppy. All the kidnapped trolls operated as One entity really so it’s not like u could particularly??? Care about them too much. Bridget and Gristle were really really fun but the villain wasn’t anything particularly special or noteworthy judging by just how little people. Talk about her. OH and also creek was there (literally forgor im rereading this for typos and adding this now) but like. Oh no the guy who showed up for like 5 minutes is a Bad guy and im supposed to care about the quest to save him mostly just because theyre telling the audience they should care because Poppy cares . But theres just not a lot of setup (and Creeks just not that. Interesting?)

Second movie had considerably More bangers and was definitely going in the right direction character wise. But it had the Opposite problem with wayyy too many guys that were really interesting and not a lot of time to do anything with them. You get King Trollex’s intro, Biggie, Cooper and Prince D and their parents, Delta Dawn, and Allll the bounty hunter trolls, PLUS Barb and the rock trolls. Barb was definitely a prime example of a major upgrade from the movies, having a villain that the audience actually vibed with and u could Tell by fan reactions I think. (Parb sweep) But there was just. Sooo so much, on top of the lore dump and a plot that you really had to get cool with really quick to get invested in. theres a bunch of new trolls and these strings that are definitely super important promise (lie)

The third one feels like they finally like. Know what theyre doing. With their own universe. No big lore dumps, theres not even any Explanation for what Mount Rageous is, they just introduce you to it and the Rageons with confidence thru Velvet and Veneer and expect you to get it. Plus, theres still a lot of characters, but theyre much more tangibly connected now. All the brozone brothers are well established and have preestablished relationships with each Other so even if we dont get much time with them it doesn’t feel like theyre that out of place. It still requires some suspension of disbelief vis a vis “Branch had Four super secret brothers hes Never mentioned,” but they make it work and frankly, the set-up is a lot more easier to get invested in than “secret magical strings that Invented Magic I Guess.”

And with Brozone and Viva theres a connection To the main characters rather than just being tag-alongs for tag-alongs sake. They’ve all got their own niches to make them individually compelling but theres a connecting thread here so they still feel like they’re a part of the story. And they’re all there to do something!! And then Velvet and Veneer of course continue the vibe that Barb had of being villains with enough screen time and personality that you like them As characters and arent just viewing them as The Plot Obstacle. Which is cool i think. Overall i just think the third movie felt a Lot more confident to do what the fuck ever and thats Really good.

[team-council-two]

So how is Spy a special case?

*is excited*

(for context, in a previous post, i added the tags " i could write an entire book on how unfamiliar french people in medias seem to actual french people, spy is an odd case; ask me about him")

aiight, you know what you signed up for, get ready for one hell of a presentation, ft terminal verbosis frenchosis ! this will be in three parts, of course, because three is a good number and the mere concept of having 3 parts should give you all a headache (look ray i didnt add a n this time)

wait shit im not even sure mistral is a spy, hold on,

aw fck thats for real ones

anyways femme fatale trope, next question

HA gotcha, you didnt think id let yall go with just one sentence huh ? so. our fella is french. our fella is a spy. our fella is a huge piece of shit. extremely common, alright ? outright overused archetype. eeeexcept that the combo's execution here REALLY stands out. how so ?

well, let me ask you a quick question. do you think the fact that he is french, and the fact that he is an evil bastard, and the fact that he is a spy are linked ?

well ill answer that for you. nope. valve treated these three traits remarkably separately. the way he speaks french in game is relatively polite, and the insults he throws around are, i checked, exclusively in english. he is surprisingly free of the usual way medias make "being evil" and "being french" be a hand in hand thing, and similarly free of the one that seems to indicate that Because you are french Of Course you are a spy. in other words, rather than being a walking glamour stereotype of sorts or an obnoxious asshole the likes of which we have seen hundreds of, this is a godawful guy that also happens to be a french snob, and that also happens to be a spy.

compare with, say, our lady mistral above who has a shitton of taunts in french, who embraces that whole sexy lady deal, deliberately plays on it and so on. difference is miles.

and now if you followed you did catch i said french snob rather than just french, there is a reason behind this, so allow me to get on part 2, which i promise will be WAY more verbose-

so

im not sure why but american medias love to have peppy rich french fashionistas in their shit. theyre cute, hyper, sheltered as fuck, and the entire deal is weird bc these people seem like aliens to actual french people who tend to care about fashion in pretty normal amounts and definitely do not have that many grands to bust into it. *yes* we pride ourselves in having a pretty neat fashion industry, but in a similar way as the american and the german boast about their cars. we are NOT obsessed with it okay. anyways, sometimes writers have the decency of making these characters cunts, but not always. but what doesnt vary is the trope seems to play out like ah yes, your average french- which is fucking baffling. and is the part taking us aback.

see, we HAVE the evil breed of those characters too in our shit. comedic shit, to be precise. a rundown of our humor is it often is situational humor - stupid outlandish situations with equally stupid archetypal characters, their personality equally pushed into the absurd, all of that more often than not thinly veiling some pretty heavy social commentary. in other words, you often laugh at the evil cop/rich factory/big restaurant owner/politician/etc getting karma'd in mind boggingly bizzare and hilarious ways, while clearly showing them as evil for mistreating subordinates (and often getting shit for it sooner or later) and as simpering cowards towards literally anyone who has any kind of superior position to them whatsoever.

in other words, context matters. where in american shit they are often allies or friends or comedic relief of sorts through being french/annoying or just villains, in french shit they more often than not are *targets* of some kind of events and shown to be ridiculous through other means than their obsession for fashion or whatever.

am i saying that valve did this ?

...yeah. thats a very bold statement, but yes. i mean, cmon,

see, i am overall basing this on the fact that ingame spy is so fucking similar to many, many, many of Louis de Funès' roles, and even his face, it outright had me searching around the wiki for some kind, any kind of claim of inspiration from valve-

he reads exactly as one of them ! rich cunt obsessed with money, constantly mocking people, constantly complaining about everything ever, fakely polite, not opposed to doing vile acts to have his way, extremely menacing face, *the same fucking laugh*, and the fact that characters played by this guy have remarkably often have what we call a couillon de fils, a dumbfuck of a loser ass son, if you will.

the only differences really are from comic spy, who reads far less like this. he's still well executed mind you, but he (especially @miss pauling) reads as far kinder than this dude's characters usually are, and he is a bit more... stretched, both physically and in behaviour, than the actor's goblin build and attitude, as game spy seems to be unable to stand straight whereas the comic one seems to have no difficulty with this, and the similar range of expressiveness that also ports 1:1 is game exclusive as well. and finally, comic spy also was not given the occasion to cuss people out, so.

anyways my point mostly amounts to, if you manage to make french people think of an emblematic actor beloved by many, rather than just make us go through the usual whiplash of "how is that a normal french person to american people ???", you are probably doing something right.

in addition to this wall of text, i am begging you all to watch this, it should help understand what i meant by our breed of humor, and what i mean by "spy could have been played by this dude no problem"

now, onto part 3,

well once you said he is a pathetic wet cat man you summed it up really.

for all the class he has, for all the money he has, for all the. everything ? he still is pathetic. he still is simply seen as a mean as fuck loser either trying to drown his failures as a father with expensive tastes, or simply amoral and unsympathetic because of his concerns being about money rather than about humans. he still is headcanoned as stinking by most of the fandom. nobody respects the fucken spy. he comes across as haughty and it only makes people want to shit on him some more.

really, it is pretty much everything I explained in the two points above. the patheticness helps with making it so he is not a stereotype, and it helps making it clear he is supposed to be representative of rich pretentious cunts rather than of french people.

so, he is a huge bitch, and ironically, this makes him a blorbo to us, bc who doesnt love a good ole flawed character ?

his whole french deal is not shown as eccentric or what makes him a loser but just a coincidence, in a sense. and you'd be surprised by how much of a breath of fresh air this is to french people. shitty in a realistic way rather than a made up clown, and in a way we can recognize in our own medias. it also is neat from the, err, fandom pov ? because you get to develop his frenchness and assholeness and spyness separately, since they are elements implemented for the sake of themselves rather than as a stereotypical whole. you get to have *fun* with him.

SO i think i ran out of things to blabber about. hope it makes sense tho. but i guess it really is about. not *quite* representation because we do not see ourselves in spy, of course, but way more about our culture not being bastardized and being turned into a joke about eccentrics at best, or hatred about seductive women and effeminate/homosexual men at worst, + having a fresh execution on tropes that else usually would get our eyes rolling.

alpha, over and out

[thisismeracing]

Haven’t looked at ur blog since sending the og anon about patreon so idk where all the other anons came from with this discourse which i cba reading btw so yeah….. but i just find it super weird and unorthodox to charge money for fanfiction ive been in fandom spaces for over a decade and never seen this 😭 also i wasn’t trying to shame u for needing money ?? I also find it really rude that ur moots are under that post saying if im broke just say so, i think thats far ruder and shaming me more than anything in that original ask lmao so yeah that felt like a bit of a double standard 👍

Hi, anon! Answering you a tad late because the other anons and their asks that you cba to read ended up taking a lot of my energy (not blaming you, just sharing the reason why it took me forever to answer).

I dunno which fandoms you're part of, but charging for fanfiction is no biggie in huge fandoms like chris evans, one direction, and so on. it's nothing new. It's not a thing in the f1 fandom because it's a mid-sized fandom IMO, but still you can find people with a patreon in here (I'm not the first one). If you had just searched the tags on Tumblr before sending me your first anon you would see.

It felt like you were judging, or pointing a finger, but since in messages you can't really understand the tone, I'm sorry (AGAIN) if my answer came across as rude. And since I don't have trouble recognizing when something got out of hand and I'm in the wrong, I'm sorry the messages of my moots seemed like an attack towards you or some kind of judgment on people who don't have money (bc I don't have it too, obviously), they were just trying to stand up for me after an ask that sounded rude and judgy. So it was rather a reaction, than an action if it makes any sense. Still, I'm sorry.

Hope you don't take it personally, but just adding, to try considering how your words can be received before sending an anon to people. I see lots of things I disagree with and personally don't like, but you won't see me going on anon and telling authors all of my thoughts. all of us are going through a lot of shit, the last thing we needed is someone sounding rude in our inbox <3

It seemed as if it was all a misunderstanding, so I'm glad to move past it. Hope you can do the same. And again: I'm sorry :)

[hiraabeblogpost]

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#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers… 

[awfuckward]

i love reading tags and im glad its like built into the app and easy to do but like. a big reason why tags go to be the place for commentary rather than in the body of the post is BECAUSE they werent built in to be easily read by the op or anyone who wasnt seeing it rb from you on their dash or on your blog. like this is added commentary relevant to me and my followers not op. like yea im reblogging this post and saying “well thats not something i ship” bc maybe i like the art regardless but i do want the context on my blog that thats not gonna be a normal ship to see around here. and its rude now to do that. so im not reblogging the thing. which is fine and makes sense but its weird after being used to the other thing. yknow.

i just miss adding not deep commentary on stuff cos now everything feels like its adding an actual comment and my thoughts arent thought enough to commit like that

[pjisskullourful]

hey pj!

what's the best erotic audios or porn links you have???

omg yaaaaaaasssss pls let me talk about this🥰 cos i am a little bit addicted🥴

i find it easier to listen to porn than to watch it& rightnow i am all about the boys erotic audio offerings so thats what yall are being recommended

⚠️ PLEASE BE CAREFUL & MINDFUL OF TAGS COS THERES A LOT OF NONCON SHIT OUTTHERE& YOU NEED TO BE AWARE OF YOUR TRIGGERS& HOW TO KEEP YOURSELF ENJOYING IN COMFORT

@soundsofpleasure is the best💛 or going through what you can on soundgasm.net[im still figuring that site out as i go]. p0rnhub does have some great erotic audios but i find the ads& all the other things trying to be as shocking/ott as possible in order to get your attention-- its distracting its annoying, i would rather not. r/gonewildaudio is really fantastic in how everything is laidout& you can even leave comments

i discovered this week that i like listening to MM4F audios-- basically, 3somes. idk why that had never occurred to me as something i would like, but i just genuinely stumbled upon it as a category & then i found an amazing find--- cute accents that got me thinking about chewing gum

hotel threesome(19:49)

technically halal(37:40) -- i cannot with the title but it makes sense once you start listening

i found a lovely boy lastnight, the asmr is outstanding!! so very dreamy. am i biased cos he uses the petname princess& that is legitimately my name? idk who cares

20minute ramblefap

ASMR Daddy is 1 who is a bit meaner[butoops i like it]-- routinely includes choking, very degradation kink prone. i wouldnt recommend him as a starting point cos it can feel very intense. but he is aussie- just like me cos we burn hotter than hell down here😝

i really like Benji2049 - he has some really sweet audios that make me feel safe& make me wanna float away[in myhead he is cast as my johnny depp]

i've talked about EndlessRoads before & imma talk about him again. i really love his audios. it seems that sadly he is nolonger recording but the stuff that is on offer is so glorious& gives me all the tinglies.

in particular I Want to Be Your Daddy cos wow-- that changed how i feel about my daddy kink& lowkey made me waanna cry the 1st time i listened to it

🎇❗❕‼️

i have saved the best for last!

@ lato-oscuro

his soundcloud

this is 1 that i can listen to his shit repeatedly in 1 sitting& not get bored. italian accent, the wettest of the wet-- i've had lots of fun listening to his stuff with a lil wand assistance & 10/10 would highly recommend. literally never fails to turn me on. probs my fav

yall gotta send me your recommendations!

[starconsumer444]

“When Things Fall In Place” (18+)

Creepy Roommate!Kenma

(A/N: This is...about 3.1k of pure degeneracy, which I actually had no intention on writing, finishing, or publishing and just thought out as I went... There was no planning, no actual ideas prior to this {actually its based off this guy I met recently because im always stuck with the creeps}...I just started it late at night [basically the early hours of the morning] and finished it this afternoon. I haveeee to stop writing for haikyuu... But I’m probably gonna fall off, comeback and write one or two request with a bunch of other random bs, and then disappear again after this, but thats just how it is. I get bored of writing every three days then come back to write my heart out. I really have to write my requests soon or they’ll hate me...) 

(Cw/Tw: Fem!Reader, Stalking, Somno, Rape/Noncon,  Virgin!Kenma, Theft, Crying, Poor Writing, Kenma is a sweaty, friendless, looser in this one guys, I’m bad at tagging these but you get the idea... this is bad and nasty. 3.1k!!!! THIS IS LONG AS HELL)

You don’t know much about him, Kenma— your roommate. You’ve been living together for almost a year at this point and that can’t be normal. He stays in his room playing video games, doesn’t seem to have friends, leaves for work in the morning, and keeps to himself for the most part. Honestly, if you didn’t greet each other in passing you would’ve forgotten the sound of his voice by now. It’s low, unaffected, and monotone for the most part. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be bothered?

But see, Kenma knows everything about you. You went to middle and high school together, but he was just as standoffish in those days too. He doesn’t expect you to remember him, you clearly don’t, but it still weighs on his heart. Was he that forgettable? It’s okay, because one day he’ll tell you. One day he’ll tell you everything.

He’s been obsessed with you since middle school, you were the pretty girl that sat in the front of the class and smelled so good. You would talk to give answers in class and he would be all ears, because to him your voice was his only source of happiness. To hear you speak and smell your perfume as you walked past him was a reason to live. Sure, it was weird, but so were a lot of things about him. He had no friends, could you blame him? Would you?  So maybe, then, in middle school it was an innocent harmless crush, not an obsession, but in high school he was definitely obsessed. 

He overheard you say it to your friends— where you were going to high school, and he told his parents thats where he wanted to enroll. The entire time he never spoke to you, much like middle school, he was off in a corner playing a game alone, inconspicuously keeping an eye on you. He used to trail you and your friends around the school and he always wondered how you were so perfect? How you were so good at making friends? How you stood out like that? Maybe that’s why you were so unapproachable... 

He remembers you were class president for three consecutive years up until graduation. You were so damn intimidating, but everyone loved you, especially Kenma and you were blind to it. You never ONCE noticed him or gave a damn about him and you were class president. He wanted to talk to you so bad, but he just couldn't. He would steal things from you with the intent to say he found them and maybe start a conversation, but he ended up hoarding them in his room at home. The biggest thing he’d stolen was a sweater because you hadn’t seemed to notice the erasers or pencils. 

He vividly remembers the sheer panic and urgency he stuffed that damned pink sweater into his backpack with, so scared he’d get caught and called a creep. He really did plan on returning it but he just— it smelled so good back then...he remembers. He took it home and hid it under his bed, only opting to take it out and hold it to his face and just smell it on special occasions when he felt up to it and guilt wasn't taking over his mind, body, and soul. He knew it was wrong but he felt the most alive in moments where he didn’t care. He’d tried to resist the urge, but at some point he started to pleasure himself with it too. It started happening so often that he’d get hard at the smell of you even when you walked by him in class. He still has that sweater.

At some point during that time, he’d picked up the strange hobby of following you home from school. You walked alone all the time so he’d lie to himself and say it was for your safety as he stalked around corners and made sure you never saw him. He’d always watch you enter your home from down the block, far enough so he wouldn't catch your attention. Those times he didn’t want you to notice him, he felt sick doing it, but it was something akin to an addiction and he just couldn't stop himself. This was a short lived addiction though...about a month or so. 

His mom started to pick up on his staying out later than usual and by then he’d actually started to go up in front of your house and just stare at it. He prayed to god that you didn’t see him being a creep like this, but sometimes he wished you did because at the very least you would recognize his existence. Still, you never saw him. He went back to being locked up in his room, playing video games until the early hours of the morning, rubbing himself raw against your sweater, and being consumed by you in private. All he wanted was for you to acknowledge him. Tell him that he exists to you, because he’s sure his existence is for you.

Those days were hell on earth, he struggled to shower and his only motivation for getting up and doing anything was to see you, who didn't know he existed. It was a depraved cycle. 

Now he’s here with you, and the first time he talked to you was to respond to a “roommate wanted” ad. Isn’t it wonderful how things come full circle? 

Still, he struggles to actually hold face to face conversations with you. How could he? He fantasizes about you so much...it feels wrong.

These days he finds himself rutting into your sheets when you're out praying that you don’t catch him, stealing your panties just to hold them to his nose and eventually soak them in his cum, and even worse having disgustingly sadistic fantasies about you belonging to him. He pushes those fantasies to the back of his mind, though. He doesn't want to be fucked up, but then again, it can't be that bad to want to own your source of happiness.

His infatuation reaches a peak one night when he finds himself groggily trudging his way to your room in the dead of night with his fleshlight in hand. He tried everything, he didn't want to jack off so he played his video games like usual, but even that didn’t take his mind off of you. Typically, he’d jack off with his fleshlight alone in his room to depraved and deluded fantasies of you, but tonight he needs to be near you; to see you, to smell you, and to know you’re there.

Upon entering your room he flips the light on, and it’s actually really dim— not that he hoped to wake you up or anything. He tip-toes over to the side of your bed and stands over your sleeping figure. You look so beautiful when you’re asleep, a shame he’s never thought about seeing you like this before or rather...a shame he’s violating you like this. He wants himself to stop because he knows it’s wrong, but he’s wanted something like this for so long and right now it’s in the palm of his hand. He’s sick and he knows it.

Still, he pulls his sweats and underwear down just enough to where they’re right under his balls. The cold air of your ceiling fan hits his painfully hard shaft and it feels so good it makes him sick. He slowly sheaths himself inside the faithfully used toy imagining it was you. That’s even easier to do now that you’re right here in front of him.

His heart is racing, and he feels sick to his stomach...

“Gotta make this quick,” That’s what he says under his breath, but he want’s you to wake up and see him, he want’s you to call him a pervert and make him leave you alone forever. He wants to see you horrified by the sight of him pleasuring himself to your sleeping body. Is that so wrong?

Yeah, he knows it is. He can’t bring himself to care, though. He pumps himself in and out with hurried movements. He feels so gross and so good like this. Even with the fan on above him he’s sweating bullets like a madman, but he just can’t stop himself, he swears this isn’t his fault. His rational mind would never permit this, but when has he ever gone with that side of himself?

He starts to lose himself in pleasure, moaning out your name in his typical low voice rather than a whisper. He doesn't catch himself, and his moans start to get louder and louder. You start to stir and he can’t bring himself to shut up. You can’t be that light a sleeper, right? 

Wrong.

Your eye’s flutter open and then meet his and he cums unreasonably hard and his moan is gross and loud. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he doubles over from the pleasure. His hand grabbing on to your mattress is the only thing keeping him from hitting the floor.

His heart pounds in his chest and his breathing is erratic, but that’s not why the look in your eye’s is nothing but terror. He's sweating so much, he wants to apologize, but he doesn't.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He says sliding the toy off of himself. He thinks you look even more beautiful when you’re awake and scared out of your mind. 

You lie there, staring up at him, still trying to process how your aloof roommate could—

He climbs on your bed, fleshlight in hand, and straddles your waist and all you can bring yourself to do is shake your head.

“Kenma-” He presses his index finger to your lips and you freeze again.

Suddenly, he’s bringing the fleshlights opening to your mouth and you still can’t bring yourself to fight him.

“Please go away,” You ask like this is just some nightmare. You know it’s not, you can feel his weight on top of you and it feels too real. He’s so warm and so heavy.

“Lick.” He commands. He swears to himself that he’ll go away forever after this, the final piece to his happiness puzzle.

Tears start to fall down your face but he’s still insistent on having you eat his cum out of his gross plaything. When you don’t move, he leans over and presses it to your face.

“Lick.” 

This time, out of fear, you do. His cum tastes rancid, like battery acid. Disgusting would be more than an understatement. That doesn’t stop you from cleaning the toy with your tongue like your like depends on it, because right now...it might.

His eyes are tired when he smiles, almost dead, he looks sick. His hairs greasy, skin is pale, and he’s fisting his half hard dick while he watches you take his seed into your pretty mouth. You’ve never been this close to him before.

He strokes himself back to hardness like a delinquent. He knows he wants to leave you alone, but now he just can’t. When he tosses the fleshlight aside you’re shaking and crying begging him to go away.

“Kenma, please-” As much as he likes when you say his name, he can’t help but stifle your desperate begging with a kiss. 

It’s gross, wet, and all over the place, but Kenma doesn’t notice that. He’s never kissed anyone before and he’s beyond ecstatic that it’s you. You don’t bother with kissing him back, you just lie there, eyes open and crying. 

He savors this kiss, his first kiss. His lips are softer than expected, but he’s not— violence plagues his movements. His heart races even faster now, and when you try to turn your lips away from his he just grabs your jaw and holds you still. He gets drool all over both of your faces, and you can barely breathe. You can still feel him jacking himself off between your bodies and you feel nauseous. This “kiss” is so unpracticed and unrefined, he’s basically licking the inside of your mouth and breathing in your face.

Why is he doing this?

You feel him finally moving from your lips and pulling your shirt up to let cold air hit your tits. For a second, he pauses to catch his breath, chest heaving and spit covered mouth hanging open. He stares down at your chest in awe. You turn away in embarrassment, he doesn’t mind it; you must be terrified.

With one hand holding your shirt up, he brings the other from his dick to squeeze at your chest. You wince and struggle against him because he’s so fucking rough and it hurts. Then he gives one of your breasts a hard slap, and you start to writhe up under him. 

It brings a smile to his face, but he doesn’t do it anymore. He wants to try something different.

He carefully slides down off of you and between your legs. He grossly presses his face against your clothed cunt and smells you even licking you through your pajama bottoms.

He sees the shock on your face when you sit up to look at him and he simply brushes it off, too far gone to be considerate at this point.

When his hands pull down your pajama bottoms-

“No no no no nononono Kenma please stop it.” You whine and kick at him uselessly. You sit up to try to push his hands away but its all useless, he’s so unreasonably strong for someone his size. When he finally slides your pajama bottoms and underwear off of you and on to the floor he buries his face between your folds.

It’s like when he was kissing you, gross, wet, and unpracticed. He’s just haphazardly lapping at your labia and vulva. You push at his shoulders trying to get him off of you while crying your eyes out. It doesn’t seem to effect him though, he just locks his arms around your thighs, sliding you down onto your back. 

At some point his tongue washes clean over your clit and he feels your body jolt from the pleasure. He finds it again and your body stiffens. He looks up at your crying face and squeezes the meat of your thighs between his fingers as he abuses your clit to no end.

You’re sobbing at this point because to you this all feels without reason. For the first time in your life you are scared of Kenma. From what you remember of him, he was always voiceless and sweet, even during school when he decided to show up. He was a kid who always greeted the teacher, even if it was wordless, he got his work done on time when he could, and he minded his business. You never talked to him, but you did hold his understated presence in the back of your mind— for the longest you pegged him as a boy who could be pleasant if you got to know him. So, why was he doing this? Why is he hurting you?

You made him your roommate because you thought that he of all people wouldn’t do this. You wanted to be friends. What did you do?

Now he’s violating you after a year of little to no interaction and him being barely there. He knows it’s wrong and you're not fighting him anymore, you’re just laying there, chest heaving and silent.

He lifts his head to plant a wet kiss on your inner thigh and drags his tongue against the soft skin momentarily. He looks at your scared face and gives a crooked smile. He’s sorry, he really is but this feels like a dream to him. You're too good not to take. 

He finds himself positioning his dick right between your folds and rutting against you. You really must’ve given up, your fight is long gone as he holds you down by your pelvic bones—uncut nails breach your soft skin.

Excitement fills his body as your wetness begins to coat his length as he rocks himself back and forth. He’s careful and his breathing is labored.

“I-” He tries and fails. “You never noticed me, but I’ve loved you forever.” He’s shy. Kenma looks down at your stomach, too embarrassed to meet your crying eyes. 

“We went to school together for years...” He trails off, still staring down. He doesn’t have the guts to look at the mess he’s made of you. “I wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn’t like- no. I was scared.” He shakes his head softly and finally meets your eyes. You're still crying. He feels his throat tighten and he doesn't want to talk anymore.

“Don’t look at me like that!” He stops his movements to reach over and pull the pillow from behind you. He puts it over your face and thinks to hold it there, maybe to suffocate you for a second, but he doesn't. He’s already done enough bad. He just lets it sit there, you’re the one to grab it and hold it there. 

You hold it against your face like your life depends on it. You can't breathe very well, but what does it matter? You want him to go away.You want this to end. So, you cling onto that pillow and pretend like you’re anywhere but here.

It’s an illusion that fails quickly. You feel him press his length into you. It’s rushed, it hurts, and he doesn't know what he’s doing. You squeeze the pillow, and his sweaty hands play with your tits. You can feel the tears well up in your eyes. You don’t want this, it’s a nightmare.

He’s not that big, rather small actually, but he has girth. He hopes you can feel it. He moves slowly dragging every inch of himself against your walls. He mouths at your nipples and it feels yucky. At some point you’re sure you feel him lay a wet kiss on your stomach.

You don’t know. It’s over quickly, but it feels like forever.

 His thrusts were sloppy and unseasoned just like everything else he’s done. He’d never had sex before, but he hoped he was good. When he came his body seized and his fingers dug into your sides. He was glad you weren't watching because the embarrassment from coming so fast a second time was much easier to handle. 

You two sit in silence for a while after that, the only audible sound is you sniveling. He watches silently as your body shakes and tucks himself back in, to at least feel decent. It’s like that for five whole minutes until he finally decides to go back to his room. 

In the silence of his own dark room the water works start in full force as he comes to terms with what he’s done. He’s a degenerate who will struggle to sleep tonight.

[nightmaremerchant]

okay ik this is an opinion no one asked for but now im thinking about the whole dan and phil joint branding as opposed to Dan Branding™ and Phil Branding™. also this is fully adding onto posts on @ browncesario and @ demonetisation’s blogs and i feel too awkward to tag them bc i dont wanna make anyone feel obligated to read this lol but if i repeat anything they said or their anons said its not on purpose!

but like, full disclaimer while i love dan and phil i feel like its always been kind of obvious that they were marketing their relationship to us? obv not so much anymore but like... as much as people who dont keep up w dnp like to pretend that their only awareness of us as a fanbase was creepy objectifying shippers who should feel ashamed for harassing them etc etc, they’ve always been way more tuned into their audience than i think people realize. like they’ve *known* what we’re like, and i dont even mean just the bad parts. like they *know* that a lot of their fanbase is queer and genuinely has looked up to them as queer role models long before they were out, and a lot of that hinges on us understanding they were a couple. and ik they resented it and i wasn’t really part of the fanbase until a few years ago but hearing stories of how dan would react on liveshows sometimes and the like, barely concealed resentment for the fans sometimes shows that while they definitely had issues with it (which like,,, is fair), they also knew they were kind of stuck in a rut. because if their primary source of fans are people who like seeing them together, that meant that their success as youtubers/creators/etc depended on keeping those fans right where they were.

and to be clear! i know ive never been here primarily for their relationship; i started watching them bc i thought they were funny together and had a good dynamic, which wouldve been possible even if they really were just friends. i didnt get emotionally invested in the projection part of it until later. but even so, i was always aware as a fan that they were selling to us the speculation of their relationship.

and this is def pulling from other posts ive seen today but considering the fanfic part of tatinof, the fact that they wrote fanfic in tabinof and incorporated shippy fan art into the youtube versions, giving the people what they want, even little things like the conjoined baking challenge vid.... they wanted us to stay curious about their relationship. Even if on a very real level it was literally bringing back trauma for them, there was this weird cognitive dissonance between “im angry at people for speculating about us” and “look here, dont stop speculating about us! look we’re sharing a sweater! look we’re being ~domestic~ in ditls!”

which is also why i thought the hiatus wouldnt last long tbh, like i was genuinely shocked that after the success of ii they would completely separate their brandings from each other in 2019. and i wont @ this person but someone said it best years ago when they said that joint branding had to die for dnp to come out. bc it really did; how could they keep up the speculation if we have literally almost all the puzzle pieces laid out? when they’ve primed their audience to actively hunt down these pieces (even if again, they would rather have not, esp given what they each talked about in their coming out videos), but they dont *want* us to put it all together, how could they sustainably make joint content while keeping the speculation fanbase there? bc once the speculation is over, people are gonna keep wanting more. (and disclaimer i really dont think this applies to like....anyone i follow on here tbh bc in general i feel like we’re fine w them keeping their boundaries where they are, but we’ve all seen posts like that that indicate that people *will* want more, and thats something that they’re unwilling to give and understandably so).

anyway this all goes to the main thing that brought all this on today lol, ever since 2019 they’ve been trying to cultivate their own separate branding from each other, and while i’m here for it tbh, surely they know that they’ll never escape their old joint branding. Which also means never escaping the spectre of relationship speculation. so i have mixed feelings about seeing dan act shocked that people could ever speculate about his private life once he became famous bc like 1) thats literally just what happens when you become famous, and 2) ....he and phil egged it on up to a point, and that doesnt mean it didnt upset them but it definitely feels off for dan to always be so pikachu face about having had fans that speculated about his relationship. like dan you literally wrote erotic fanfiction about you and phil, pieced together fan art illustrating it that showed you and phil in a homoerotic lens, and yet you’re *still* acting shocked and indignant that fans got invested in your relationship/the possibility of your relationship?? idk man. its confusing bc at the time i took things like that as “oh, we’re in on the joke,” but ever since 2019 they’ve made it more clear that we’re not, but we’re also not *not* in on it to an extent (looking at you, cah phan edition)

so im def still excited for dan’s book (like the subject doesnt terribly interest me tbh but i do wanna see what he does with it and read whatever highlights inevitably get posted on here), but as always w the end of regular joint content, im lowkey here for the over-analyzing about the relationship between dan, phil, their fans, and their content bc dear god we never run out of material to rant about

[unexpectedcronchiness]

part 10 of drabbles from the chat my dudes i love wolfstar

Big thanks to @remusjohnblack-fics for the idea and premise and sorry in advance for the bad french

remus knew that it could have been worse. "Bonjour", the word said in an aristocratic scrawl on his collar bone. Since he could begin even thinking about his soulmate he had decided that he would not be ignorant and that he would know everything there was to know about the language and country. but still, could remus ever visit france then? I mean it's hello, everybody says hello. if he were to go to france would it be the first person he'd see? Maybe that was what needed to happen? so he put it off, and continued his learning from afar. 

By 18 remus was an expert in everything french and decided it was time to meet his soulmate so he enrolled in a french university and hopefully that would be that. Tonight however, he didn't have to worry about any of that. It was his going away dinner with his family, and that was all that mattered. They were in a small, cheesy french restaurant that his parents had picked out ("you'll be able to eat good french food everyday darling, we won't, indulge us.") they were waiting for their waiter, the smells of fresh bread wafting throughout the restaurant. Finally the young man had shown up and, well, damn, to put it simply. Sometimes remus wished he hadn't decided to save everything for his soulmate (as many did, but others chose to experiment to see what they liked or to make their future soul mate happy) because when he saw the tall, aristocratic, silver eyed, raven haired waiter, he could feel himself flushing. His soulmate wouldn't look like that, he thought, a tinge of sadness lurking through him. Waving that odd thought away he turned his attentions back to the present. The waiter, sirius black, his name tag said. His handwriting was pretty, and a little familiar, wait-

"Bonjour" remus gaped, and his collarbone tingled, no,no, no way at all- "Welcome to bon voyage hunger, ill be your waiter for the evening, sorry for the wait..." his parents were listening happily, why should they be doing any different, he hadn't shared what his tattoo said, they just knew it was something french. And the way he said it, in the thickest faux french accent that only a british man could do and it all set remus off

"J'ai appris l'intégralité de la langue française, la culture française pour être putain de gentil et il s'avère que votre britannique et vous venez de valser ici" Bonjour "bonjour mon cul c'est de la connerie juste ici-"

(("I learned the entirety of the french language, french culture to be fucking nice and it turns out your british and you just waltz in here "Bonjour" hello my ass, this is some fuckery right here-"))

the waiter-sirius- gasped, and gripped his hand, and then started laughing, with an amused glint in his eyes. "well thats one mystery solved then" He grinned and continued "on dirait que nous avons eu la même idée, quelques faux français nous sommes" in flawless french

((looks like we had the same idea, a couple of fake frenchies we are))

remus flushed, he had not expected him to understand him, much less reply and oh god this was ridiculous they had both learned french to answer the other that had learned french just to answer- this was so confusing

remus's parents heads were whipping back and forth between the two of them, know something had just happened while also not knowing why their son had blown up at the poor waiter

"puis-je le voir ... votre marque qui est... voir voici la mienne" sirius whispered, pulling off his gloves

(can i see it... your mark that is... see here's mine)

sirius held his hand out for remus to read and sure enough, in remus's loopy sloppy cursive there was his paragraph. the words looks so small and bunched together and remus couldn't help but feel a little guilty

Remus nodded, slowly he took off his jacket, unbuttoned his shirt, and slid it over to the side just enough to make out the word.

Remus's parents gasped understanding what had just happened

Sirius gazed appreciatively over remus's collar, and then he looked up and caught remus's eyes. "so" he said breaking the silence finally and slid into the booth next to remus "my name's sirius black, obviously." he gestured to his name tag and in general. "what's yours darling?"

darling? remus thought, that was rather forward he sniffed. then he sighed because no it wasn't. "it's remus, remus lupin." then he added "snookums" dryly and deadpan, just for good measure.

sirius laughed at this "oh gods you're better than i ever hoped" this caused remus to blush "How can you say that we've only known eachother a period of practically 15 minutes that's ridiculous-" sirius cut him off "I'm an excellent judge of character, pudding" he smirked and popped the p on pudding, close to remus's ear. remus couldn't help it, he shivered, and blushed, looking away. sirius noticed this reaction and grinned to himself, obviously pleased but then he looked nervous "Besides, we've got the rest of our lives to prove my point...right?"

"well of course-" remus began but then the impact of sirius's words hit him

"y-yes" he said softly after a brief paus

someone cleared their throat

oh, whoops

mr lupin was looking slightly shook, but mrs. lupin was highly amused and she continued "well remus, i think we'll leave the two of you to talk then"

they got up and left "but- wa-wait" he protested meekly

"afraid of being alone with me then?" sirius joked, but remus could tell he was nervous that that was the truth.

"no" remus elaborated after gathering himself "not at all, pookie. It's just this was supposed to be our goodbye meal before i left for university in paris and-" "oh shit i shouldn't have interrupted maybe they're still outside we can go get them and wait did you say going to paris-" oh whoops remus thought again "nonono its ok, i mean you're my bloody soulmate, they understand and uh yeah, paris-" "oh thank god that's such a relief i had no idea how i was going to break it to you i was moving to paris for university either, thats a relief" sirius cut in, a weight lifted off his shoulders

then sirius added "muffin" for good measure

remus couldn't help it, he laughed, he laughed at the whole thing, it was rather ridiculous, he found his soulmate in a restaurant called "bon voyage hunger" and he didn't speak french and they had already dove head first into pet names and he was gorgeous and seemed like a genuinely good person, it was just too much

"ahem, so what university are you going t-o...in -pa-paris" remus started to say after he had gathered himself but started stuttering as he turned to look at sirius who was staring at remus with such an intense fondness that remus couldn't help but blush again. god dammit he'd practically spent the whole night with his newfound soulmate blushing and stuttering.

"hmm, oh um Paris college of art, i want to be a sculptor" "th-the paris college of art? you're serious" sirius grinned goofily at this and said "why yes, yes i am, pleased to meet you" remus groaned but continued "so am i, i want to study art though im not sure which area specifically yet, they're all so interesting and fun and i love them all theres too many but i don't have the money to major in literally everything and each of them convey emotions in such a different way and i just-"

remus was aware that he had started rambling but stopped when he felt a soft tentative hand on his

"that's bloody excellent remus, really" and then he looked nervous again. he seemed to constantly be switching between confident and apprehensive yet remus found it endearing. "and uh" he coughed, "you don't have to worry about money, i mean if you want you could study everything for the rest of your life and we could live, well uh, lavishly to say the least, um im kind of bloody rich i guess...." he trailed off, clutching remus's hand

"did-did you just offer to be my sugar daddy?” remus could not believe it

sirius laughed "not intentionally,and i prefer the term, caring supportive spouse to be , maybe to sugar daddy?"

"spouse to be, you're rather confident aren't you"

"i'm not saying we have to get married or anything im just-" "oh gods you already have a ring don't you" "-no!" "YOU DO" "no i doN"T" remus felt a surge of confidence and dug his hand into sirius coat pocket. sirius yelped at remus who was now practically on his lap "damn remus we're in a restaurant im not big int exh-" "aha found it!" remus pulled out a silver ring case and handed it to sirius "if you're going to propose to me, you better do it full on" this time it was sirius's turn to stutter and blush

"it wasn't supposed to be an engagement ring more like an uh" he trailed off, clearly embarrassed. Remus couldn't resist teasing him "oh, so you don't want to get married to me" he pouted, just a little "Oh gods no i want to marry you so bad i just didn't know if you would so it's it's more like a promise ring maybe?" that stopped remus in his tracks

sirius greatfully took the pause to gather himself and got on one knee "Remus lupin, shit i don't know if you're supposed to get on your knee for a promise ring, i don't know if im proposing or just- shit just,  i promise to be yours, do you want to be mine?"

"oui vous beau salaud" (yes you handsome bastard)

"but i refuse to get officailly married at 18, so you're just going to have to wait and sit your pretty little ass back down" sirius's smile glowed as he said "I would wait eternity and back for you remus"

THE END

[voidselfshipp]

For the years to come

Cw: coping, using food to cope, beer ment, ask to tag.

Ok to rb.

Summary: my fix it fic bcs Marvel did me boy so dirty .

When she first met him, it was right after the disaster of New York

She was sitting on the starks tower balcony near the heliport.

Looking down at the world below, it was quite windy that day, and when she shivered he put his cape on her.

--cold miss stark?--stark thor, patting her back.

-- A bit, thank you though-- said jerico,smiling at him.

Then,after Jane broke up with him, she was there to comfort him, and their friendshipp grew with every passing day.

--yknow-- said Clint,-- I bet jerico could lift that hammer-- it was during a party that thor just wanted to mess around with the team.

--oh shut it barton -- said jerico.

--oh come on its worth a try!-- added the god of thunder pulling his friend closer to him.

--nope, just like nat said thats not a question I need answered

When the ultron mess happened, he was the first one to tell her to go somewhere safe.

-- I cant Belive im saying this-- Tony stark said-- but I agree with pointbreak here, youll be safe somewhere else

So she was sent away.

Jerico waited happily for his return to the earth, bringing his people here with him.

What followed was a slaughter.

And now here he was in New asgard.

--i dont even think the beers gonna do it-- said rocket.

-- I dont want to resort to this..-- said hulk.

--resort to what?

Thor almost spits his beer when he sees her again, he hugs jerico tightly, and he sighs,sniffing.

--jerico...what?--he tears up-- I dont want you to see me like this

Jer sighed, hugging him again-- youre the same thor that gave me his cape when I felt cold, thats what matters

The god of thunder looked at hulk and rocket-- im in then...

Tony, for his daughters safe keeping forbid her to help with the time travel, so she anxiously waited...and Waited.

--Dad!-- shouted Morgan hugging Tony, followed by jerico.

--And uncle thor!

Jer almost cries when he sees him, she hugs him tightly,and he hugs back.

--im back-- he whispered to her.

And even though he said he was going to go to space with the guardians, a part of him never left her.

--Peter I told you, Moms making dinner and she said theres a special guest coming, want me to pick you up?...okay...okay see you in ten , bye take care

--hey-- said pepper as jerico cut the call-- I promise its going to be okay

--why wont you tell me who it is?-- she asked to his mother.

-- because its a surprise, now go help dad set the table okay?

--yes mom

Twenty minutes later he arrived,if it Wasnt because she was too shocked she wouldve at least gasped.

-- thor! Oh thank god youre back!--she hugged her friend tightly as she could, he hugged back-- howd it go?

The Man laughed-- let me tell you about my great stories during dinner my friend, its been too long

During dinner, the god of thunder talked about his adventures with the guardians, skipping the Gore and gruesome details for Morgans well being.

And since then hes been staying at the compound.

--Thor! Wake up!-- jerico said banging on the door of her friend.

--Five more minutes!

--its your first day of getting better come on

Theres a silence that lasts some seconds before she hears him get out of bed and dressed.

--once, you helped me-- said she handing him some dumbells-- let me help you, youre my friend and I want you to be happy

-- I am happy!

--youre using food to cope, since loki came back from lord knows where, youve been eating more, doctors orders is a clean diet, workout and Friends support

-- your earth doctors dont know about asgardians

-- do they not now?-- she quipped patting his arm-- come on we got work to do

The first week was hard to get trough, the second it started well.

--thank you for helping me with my hair jerico-- said thor, handing his friend the shampoo.

-- hey Man whenever you need me-- answered the human cleaning her Friends hair.

He wont tell why he let her help him, after all that happened he couldnt loose her, she was his closest friend, she was there when the world was rough, and stuck with him through it all.

But the feelings he had for here went far more than that , but would she even like him?.

He didnt know the answer to It, but if he did he would be surprised.

-- hey...youre quiet, you okay?-- asked jer.

-- no no im fine, just thinking

-- bout what? If its not too personal

--well, I didnt think itd go like this -- said the Man cleaning his beard-- when I first met you all those years ago, I was in love with you, the more years went on and things that happened I realized that the feelings I had for you were there, I never thought id say it, I was scared for the first time, of course this whole thing was a little bit more romantic in my mind,but here we are

Jerico smiled kissing his cheek-- finish taking a bath so we can have a proper declaration okay?

The Man nodds smiling.

After he bathed and changed he let her in his room again.

--i love you-- he said hugging her tightly like they did all those times before.

--me too-- she answered kissing him, he kissed back pressing his face on her neck.

-- what would I do without you...-- he whispered tightening his hug.

--dont ponder on that, focus on today, and those Killer Abs you got going on!

He laughed rather loudly, and looked at her-- I got them thanks to you, my dear

He kisses her cheek and smiles-- well, how about some food? After todays workout im starving

-- hmm I could use some food too, do you think our secret supply is still intact?

Both walk down the stairs to the kitchen

Deadly serious he goes--it better be

Both laugh and thor kisses jerico-- though if we have time, we should Cook togheter

--we should...I Like that idea

Thankfully the kitchen was Emtpy, and though the god of thunder didnt mind company, the lack of it made everything a bit more romantic, and special, just the two of them

-- for the years to come-- he said raising his beer glass.

-- for the years to come-- said she clinking her glass with soda with his.

As they Ate toghetet they watched a movie.

For the years to come indeed.

[starrysence]

the thunderstorm fic

heyooo i am back kind of with a lil ralbert piece to get back into the writing spirit! hope u enjoy! the fic will be under the keep reading link :D word count is somewhere around 1k and i didnt proofread this bc we die like men. also its a modern au cause i can 

tw for astraphobia (fear of thunderstorms) bc thats what this fic is centered around. 

the searing white flash of lightning that makes the rapidly falling raindrops visible is enough to alert race as to what will come next; he’ll never admit it, but he immediately begins to tremble, using every ounce of his energy not to move his hands up to cover his ears and muffle the rumble of thunder. albert, who’s been sitting beside him for the better part of four hours to work on a project they’re partners for, takes notice of race’s sudden shaking and frowns.

“you alright, racer?”

race looks at him; albert, albie, al, his best friend, the guy he’s in love with (even though he’s still a little hesitant about admitting that part), and even though the answer to the question is initially no, looking at him does make race feel a little alright. just a little. he thinks about how this - his fear of thunder - is the only thing he’s never told albert about. it’s the one thing he feels too ashamed of to share with albert, but he’s always figured it’s not a big deal; albert wouldn’t ever have to know, right?

well, considering their current circumstances… maybe race has to rethink that one.

“yeah,” he croaks, almost flinching at how small his voice sounds. “yeah, al, i’m good.”

albert raises an eyebrow, and race knows he’s already lost this one.

“you sure? you don’t sound too sure of yourself an’ you’re, like, shaking right now.”

“dammit, albie.” race chuckles, attempting to downplay just how scared he really feels. the attempt fails as his voice quivers about halfway through the first word, and he wants to cry. but he doesn’t. “why d’you have to be so observant?”

“i’m not observant, tonio,” albert responds with a soft smile. “you’re my best friend, of course i’ll know when something’s up with you. i’ve known you long enough to notice when you’re not bein’ totally honest with me about somethin’. now, what’s the matter?”

race falls silent. he knows there’s no escaping this conversation, but he wants to try and avoid it for as long as he can. 

"race."

he sighs in defeat. he managed to successfully avoid it for a total of less than two minutes.

"promise you won't make fun of me," race says; he tries his hardest to make his voice firm and steady, but it comes out as a shaky, scared whisper. he feels weak. vulnerable. afraid. he doesn't think his shaking can get any worse but in that moment it does and it makes him feel so pathetic and helpless and suddenly he's trying to make sure his breathing is steady and his vision is clear.

in a second albert is by his side, gripping his hand and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, holding him close. he knows race likes the touch, and race is so glad he just knows because he thinks that if he had to speak another word he would start crying. 

"of course i promise not to make fun of you… whatever's got you scared this bad ain't somethin' i'll ever make fun of you for, tonio. you know, i'm sorry for pushing in the first place… you don't have to tell me if it's too hard for you." albert's voice is soft, his tone sincere, and race wonders how he got lucky enough to have a best friend like this.

"i wanna tell you, it's just… hard." race's voice softens more and more as he speaks, ending up as a whisper. 

albert nods. "i get that, racer. just… tell me when you're ready."

"yeah… yeah. thanks, al."

a silence falls among the rather small bedroom, but neither of them really mind; it’s that same, familiar comfortable silence that occurs in the few moments when they don’t have anything to talk about.

“do you remember when we met for the first time?”

race looks up at albert, surprised, and blinks. “i guess, yeah… what about it?”

“i just think it’s crazy, you know...” a small smile starts to form on albert’s face, and race can’t help thinking about how much he wants to see that smile all the time every day, how much he wants to kiss those lips. “how it all began, i mean, and then there’s where we are now. when you sat down next to me on the first day of school in second grade and started rambling on and on about how cool you thought stars were, i immediately wanted you to be one of my friends forever. you were the first person to talk to me that year, which was huge to me ‘cause-”

“you’d just moved into the area,” race interrupts softly. the storm is still going on outside, and it shows no signs of quieting down any time soon, and race still feels himself trembling, but this helps; talking helps. touch helps. he helps. albert helps. 

“yeah.” there’s a full smile on albert’s face now, and it makes race want to smile, too, but all he can manage is a small upturn of his lips. “and now we’re here, and i love how it is and i love you and i wouldn’t trade this for- for anything in the world.”

the world seems to still in that moment. time stops, noise quiets, everything fades away until it’s just the two of them. race is aware of how cheesy this all sounds in his head, but he can’t bring himself to care.

it was those three words, he knows it was. they've been saying those words to each other for so long; in quick, fleeting moments, in long, heartfelt talks. 

"can you stay the night?" race whispers. 

"'course i can," albert responds in a soft tone. 

“thank you, albie. i love you.”

“and i love you, tonio. always.”

---

i wanted to fit race telling al abt why he’s scared into this but i couldnt find a way to do that without rewriting basically the whole thing, and i love what i have so i didnt want to do that.

long story short… anyone want a lil part 2? :)

-sanj <3

tag list:

@one-candy-cane-please | @suddenly-im-respecsable | @intoomanyfandomstopickaname | @be-more-chill-evan-hansen | @aw-jus-let-em-try | @getchapapes | @well-the-kids-do-too | @auspicioustarantula | @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn | @have-we-got-news-for-you | @not-a-scab | @pineappapizza | @andthewoildwillknow | @concrete--donuts | @stopthe-presses | @thomasbeingthomas | @i-love-loki-and-sherlock | @maxvanna | @spot-me50-papes | @and-i-lostmy-shoe | @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing | @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog | @backgroundensemble | @ridin-in-style | @sunshine-e-cigarettes | @macaroni-0verlord | @probablyeunoia | @thebroadwayaesthetic | @how-bout-a-crookedpolitician | @fellthroughableedingtrapdoor | @awkwardstranger98 | @bxnesof92 | @papesdontsellthemselves

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]

[voicesordoctors]

voices or doctors?

Coolieo its perfectly fine to argue i need the input anyway its how gw made the government so its how im gonna prove him wrong

WanK

ANYWAY

How can you prove mental illness exists?  How do you go about finding it and defining it?  obviously any hallucinations, delusions or paranoia. (all of which tie in together in some cases) and at that point how can you differentiate between the 3. one is more obvious, where the other 2 are more similar and harder to understand, out of a human tendency to want to be right (and should be listened to [self righteousness{non biblical). So these things should always be taken into account when thinking deeply on a topic. (hello hackers) Believe it or not all people to a degree are paranoid.

So in my opinion, the spectrum has already been exhibited with the facist, bigoted, racists & ignorant mindsets, leading to a set of ailments that i’ll get to later. One of the main symptoms include objectification, which  in close to any setting comes from a subconscious (or conscious) sense of superiority in a more “official” setting. Subclasses to this mind set can come in the form of sexisim, transphobia, homophobia, xenophobia or racism(the difference being one is alienation} and the other is just outright hatred or bigotry) or its just an unknown stupidity (ignorance). And with this level of objectifying life, you're probably worrying about this depictions sexual orientation (depending on youre nurture.vs.nature.), but that’s neither here nor there because people like this are in literally ALL WALKS of life. (scattered, with pockets based on a persons nurture). 

This leads to the concept of the roboticism of life {plutocracy}. A persons nature, and the repetition we face as people. It starts in school oddly, but even before that, it starts at home and comes from work on a day to day and is sorted into a classification of wealth with an added life experience, varying from person to person (nature vs nurture & the side effects of each) that being said, im going to talk about the design of a fast food restaurant. 

            All the food in the warmer will last you 4 hours and all the food on the table will last you 2 and get used in 3. So already you’re thinking bad food, and yes) (but no this is just some of the timing you have to take into account for while making the food. the things defrosting will be done in a half hour so you have to know when to; put them in to take them out, to put them in to take them out, to do the dishes, to put it in the food (every shift, everyday for the same ~24 people (at most). (But that's me, that’s my understanding) after this you go home to what is probably the most human activity we indulge… assuming you have a life outside work. DEEEEEEEEEPRESSSION maybe you’re psychotic idfk.

If you’re born in the 20’s, life is all about improvement across the board…. BUT classism (to generalise sexisim racisim(of the time) and essentially ableism, reread if you didn’t catch on). This objectification of the day affects not only the wages but the jobs allowed to A class of people as compared to B class of people. Affecting not only the nature of the problem but what becomes the nurture of the problems solution (the up and coming nurture in order to make progress. But that is gradual and very slow being only 100 years in on this discovery, it's already been cemented in and throughout society and our patterns of thought. So as you can imagine our sciences as well as our laws are and may be racially, sexually, or even mentally biased. But what is that?

           We all know the countless lives dedicated to activism, but even that is left to interpretation: (tomato/tomoto) nature vs nurture can be implemented here too. (in a way, but even that's a psychotic way of classifying people). So instead do you know why they say tomato and you say tomoto? Or are you going to stand strong with tomoto, no matter the weather? Well that can be put on a scale!!!!!! the psychotic scale. ~<<--dilutions--schitoo--psychotic--sociopathic--psychopathic--toxic personality--major depressive-- types of anxiety--retardation-->>~ 

(all with a scale to themselves leading into the next) all of which struggle with empathy, for an opposing opinion. With this i think it can be proven that people are all either retarded or robotic. A good example is psychosis is technically catatonic schizophrenia. (psychosis can be based off a disagreement between the doctor and patient and can come near a catatonic level (where catatonic schizophrenia is catatonic.(and thats it? . That's a little hypocritical if you think about the doctor doing the study but that's widely ignored. (to simplify human classification of class of insanity) {psychotically of course.} 

Here we dip into a few odd controversies.

 For instance a man can never be a woman even if they're trans because of the difference in nurture leading to the chosen nature. (A technical delusion)

Or how S class white people will never fully understand the difference between the 20s and today due to a complete removal from society leading to technical schizoaffective disorder or any level on the psychotic scale.(little has changed) it's a work in progress. But that's ignorance.

Or how black america may not see this existing ignorance causing them to be ignorant to the blatant stupidity. (alquada, black panthers, among PLENTY OF others) being the basis of activism in the 20s starting both a nature and nurture as a reaction to the existing nature and nurture. Or you're a sociopath. (you dirty animals)

To understand that, let's go back to objectification, and add an extremist point of view to it. So scientifically all ailments cause these 2 things on different levels and with different emotional responses. But, who's to say emotionally and mentally manipulating people is how you decipher their psychotic behavior? (that's hypocritical) so, the ableist thing to say would be to say that retards don't have emotions (shown in this scale). But in reality we don't all have down syndrome…. So in the case the person is unable (due to human self righteousness) or are unwilling to see the other opinion, then either they don't care or are <-objectifying--biggoted--ignorant-> (applies to: ableism, racism, sexisim). 

Indicating either a near robotic hate or zombie like stupidity. Causing mainstream thinking of tomato vs. tomato. Ultimately being insanity, because that level of objectification applies to any one of these things. Both in behavior and treatment received so is it normal to react “psychopathic-ly” to a doctor? (entailing manipulation… (technically)... See you can't walk into a doctor’s office and expect them to call you normal. No. first they want to know your anxieties, to best sort you for a proscribed doctor (specialist). Thus a type of treatment entailing how you're spoken to what you get to eat, see, hear, feel, ect. Because depending on who you are you might do what they do to you… to them. That's scary, more for the patient than the doctor{if you ask me}… but that depends on the person's nature vs nurture) If they have that emotional response to it, that disproves the existence of a psychotic level but its considered manipulative.

Ideally thats how it works but the problem is not all physicians specialize, and the way its taught is all comparison work (rather than behavioural analysis)

~<-dilutions--schitoo--phycotic--sociopathic--phycopathic--toxic.personality--major.depressive--types of anxiety--retarded->~

{objectification is still the topic}

Id love to go on and talk about the prohibition or the end of slavery or begining of womens rights but thats all old news at this point in time. All we can do as a people is remove this ignorance of nature vs nurture. (Any black lined information the government holds from the people is being left unincluded)...idk what tags i need

[lavenderbyun]

so i’ve been seeing a lot of posts taking note of the decrease in reblogging content as of late, and you all have probably seen them a bunch of times too, so i’m sorry to be sounding like a broken record lol but i just wanted to focus on the kdrama fandom for a second

this fandom is already quite small - especially with individual kdramas 

and its always been quite uneven in regards to how many people watch certain dramas, so i never really gave it too much thought when i got few notes

but the more i think about it, there definitely is a huge gap, where before 'popular dramas' would get like over 1k reblogs, but now i assume a drama is popular if it gets even 300 - and maybe the kdrama fandom in general has become smaller, but seeing the same issue across fandoms, i’m pretty sure its because people just don’t reblog content

and thats sucks. 

content creators spend ages and ages creating the things they post - and not to sound like a bitch but ‘likes’ don’t really do that effort justice

and i’m not saying “reblog everything you ass! even the things you hate!” - if you’re physically clicking ‘like’ then theres something about the post you do enjoy, so why not validate the creator? its not like we’re asking for money, or for you to click an ad for every 5 gifsets you look at or anything lmao (i mean tumblr does, but we dont) 

and like, if you’re really really not about reblogging - maybe your blog is a mainly in another fandom or something 

i think there are 2 other big things (i feel) you can do to help content creators, especially in smaller fandoms: 

1. post in the tag. i’m sure you all know about the tag limit (you can’t post more than 3 in a row unless 5 others post between your 3rd & 4th posts) and so in smaller fandoms, there are maybe 3-4 regular content creators (honestly sometimes less)

and what has happened to me in the past is, i begin having to wait days before i can post new content bc otherwise my posts are gone (sometimes no ones posts until a week later when theres a new ep and suddenly its not just 7 posts im waiting to post, but like 14), or i just have to step back and only post 3 of the 10 gifsets i had planned (anyone who has been following me for a while might have noticed in the past i used to gif like 6/7 things per ep but now its like 2 things and thats 70% bc of dead tags) - i’ve seen my mutuals have the same problem and im sure loads of other people do too 

but if more people just jumped into the tag for the dramas they’re watching, it helps immensely!!!! and im not saying ‘make a gifset!!!’, ‘write a review!!!’, ‘post some fanfiction!’, i literally mean like going onto tags just to say “oh i love this character”, “this episode sucked”, “i hate this thing in the drama” etc etc 

and not only does this help fill the tag for content creators but it also (as corny as it sounds) brings life to the fandom, people will agree, disagree, maybe feel inspired to rant lmao - but at least it wont be like speaking to a brick wall

2. leave a reply. you don’t want to reblog and you don’t want to post in the tag either, but you do watch this drama and you did see a post you liked - drop a reply! tell OP how much you enjoyed whatever they posted, tell them what you thought during that scene/episode, just be like ‘damn he’s hot’ literally anything??? no offence, but i’d rather get 10 replies than 50 likes - it feels less robotic?? 

anyhow, im going to stop here bc this became an essay before i realised it lmao but yeah, support content creators we have nothing but validation to keep us ticking along!!!

[michaelreaderreblog]

My truemate pt13

AN: The long wait is now over. I dont remember if I even edited this but if I didnt. I am so sorry. I was getting another thing going and “editing” at the same time. Anyways, My truemate is finally up and will continue going. Sorry for the long silence, dreadful cage. Sorry wont go into a personal rant. Enjoy my loves!! Tag list is there. If you’d like to be added to the tags please send a message. I hope I got everyone for the tags, I know last time I didnt. Ok enjoy my sweeet darlings. Yes my inner Freddie Mercury is appearing.

**********************

Catch up here:

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE 

******************************************************************************

Word Count: 2,319

After a few minutes have gone by is when the both of you hear the garage door open and he gets straight to work with the deliveries he will be doing.

His phone rings and he is all business for the rest of the day.

“Well that was rather interesting” you say to break the silence after taking a sip from your cup of coffee.

“I suppose it rather is” Castiel says with a smile still spread across his face

You could feel that he is feeling rather content about Dean serving him breakfast when he almost forgot that he is suppose to be working.

“After we are done here, we can start working and one question though?” you say getting up to put your plate away into the sink, you really needed to get on the dishes.

“Geez, I'll get this later, I have a few things to do before I do the dishes” you mutter to yourself.

“My car got delivered to the house before getting here and thats how I got myself here” Castiel says from the table while he sill eating the food Dean has served him.

“Damn, thats right. Is it alright if we used your car to delivery the party favours?” you ask from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I dont see that as a problem. You finished them already?” he asks as he gets up from the table to bring over his dirty dishes to place into the sink to as well.

“Yeah I got them done last night when I couldnt sleep” you tell him while getting the water ready.

You decided to wash the dishes and setting them on the rack for them to dry.

“Anything troubling you, why you couldnt sleep?” he asks standing beside you as you begin to rinse out the suds from the plates.

“Uh, yeah” you answer him quietly.

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” he asks in sympathy.

“When we first moved here and sort of got settled into the house. We decided to head out for supper and when we got to the diner there was this douchey pervert that grabbed me. He was just so aggressive and the things that he said just made me feel so like Im only useful for one thing. The things that he wanted to do to me just scared me so much that something could happen at any given time and I feel that this will not be the first.” You tell Castiel as you try not to break down in front of him but he can sense that you fear there is going to be more trouble a head.

“Hey, hey, hey, dont worry about a thing ok. You have two caring, loving, protective brothers who are willing to do anything for you. I for one will not let anything happen to you and we need to tell my father about this and soon. At the same time you can go to the police about this. They take Omega rights very seriously, trust me when I say that” he says as he takes you into his arms and embraces you into a tight hug.

You accept the embrace right away and feel yourself calming down by the gesture.

“You know, we have known each other for a day and I feel like I have known you my entire life” you say as a smile creeps at the corners of your face.

“Well I think its because we are family in ways, I mean Im your brothers mate and you’re my brothers mate” as he says that you pull away slowly to look at him in the eyes.

“He told you that?” you ask in a hushed tone.

“Yeah he told me yesterday and he also mentioned that he is feeling rather conflicted because he has Anna. She has told him before that she would let him go if his true mate ever came along. I advised him to talk to her right away and well end things because I would rather have him truly happy then not knowing what its like to be with someone as his equal” he says as he places his hand on your shoulder.

“You know I was feeling rather jealous about her the day before when I met her. She is so sincere, kind and beautiful. I was telling Dean that she is so lucky to be waking up beside him, going home to him every night while I sit here thinking that should be me because he is my true mate” you tell him as you rewash the plate over and over again.

He stops you from rewashing the plate for millionth time and places it in the rinse water and on the dish rack.

“I had a feeling you would say something like that and you would be feeling this way. Y/n believe me when I say this, Michael will do the right thing here and talk to Anna about all of this. He has always believed in true mates from when we were growing up and he would always tell my brother well my late brother and I how he would be so happy when he found his equal. How he would have the perfect family to call his own and to protect whats his if anyone threatened his family. I always wanted them to be truly happy and find the mates that they belonged to and I still want that for Michael. There is no need to be feeling jealous alright? Anna should be the one to be jealous since I am very certain she knows about the true mate thing already” Castiel says as he looks into your eyes and the one thing you held onto the most was him referring to his late brother and as you saw him mention him you could see the pain spread across his face while he mentions him.

“Late brother? What happened? Sorry its just your expression completely changed at the mentions of him. Again sorry if you dont want to talk about it than I understand” you say as you continued washing every single dirty dish, utensils, pots, and pans until the dish rack is filled with the mornings servings and last night.

“No its fine, I would have to talk about this sooner or later. Im also guessing you have been wondering why I asked if your brothers were Alpha's” he says as he goes back to the table to have himself seated.

You follow right behind him and do the same thing at the table across from him.

“A few years after I presented Omega and after one of my heats my brother Lucifer, is his name by the way. After one of my heats he told me to stay home just until my scent had gone away completely. I told him that it would be fine and how much I really wanted to get out of the house to see my friends whom I havent seen in a week. While he has told me countless times to stay home I didnt listen to him and I went out anyways. As I was walking through the square to meet up with my friends, I was followed little ways and then a van pulls up beside me. The man who followed me was Alpha, he came running behind me told me how ripe my scent was and told me how amazing I would be for one of his bosses brothels and make millions off of me. He drugged me, another man pulled me into the van and took me to an old warehouse outside of town. I woke up in this empty room, looked around to get up from the chair only to see Im tied to it. I managed to get my phone from my pocket to send an emergency text to my brother, he responded and found me on the GPS system that was turned on from my phone. I heard someone walking down the hall and I was still out of it from the drugs and pretended to be out again. Lucifer came into the room and I felt someone trying to cut through the rope and I was trying to resist the person until I heard his voice telling me who he was and he was going to get me out of there. Suddenly that turned for the worst when the three men who abducted me came back to the room to transfer me some where else is what Im guessing. They saw my brother, attacked him, he fought back and one of them came at me but I managed to kick him in his groin and he fell to the floor while my brother yelled at me to make a run for it. I didnt want to leave him behind but he pushed me towards the door and I ran. I ran so fast like my life depended on it, I got to his car and drove little ways away from the warehouse to call the police for help. Within minutes they all came, they managed to capture one of them while the other two fled. The paramedics came out with a body and one of the officers told me to identify the body which I did. As they lifted the sheet from his face, thats when I went completely numb and couldnt believe that was my brother. I was frozen until they moved him away from me and thats when I went frantic told them he was only sleeping and that I should take him home. The officer told me my brother was gone and he risked his life to save mine. For so many years I have blamed my biology for his death, blamed it on me when I knew I should have stayed home when he told me to, and I blamed myself for everything that has gone wrong that day. After we had the funeral I stayed home, locked myself in my room or at times I would lock myself in my brothers room and I would go through his things and I would wear his clothes. My parents and Michael saw how I was and I knew they didnt like how I was dealing with everything. Until Michael thought it would be a good idea for me to move with him to Portland where he went to school, he told my parents but they didnt like that idea so much and my dad finally said ok maybe it would be a good idea to get away for while. I did move to Portland with Michael, he went to school, I enrolled in school to take this graphic design program for the two years I was there. Michael graduated, we came home, he found himself a place to live and I moved back in with my parents because my mother didnt like the idea of me living by myself. I graduated the program online not to long ago and here I am sitting with you, telling you about my story on how I lost my brother. Well how my parents lost a son, and how Michael lost a brother as well” Castiel tells his story as tears streamed down his face as you sit there surprised he hasnt broken into a sob while telling you what happened all those years ago.

You place your hand over his that are placed over the table

“Now I understand why you asked if my brothers were Alpha's. I am so sorry about your brother. You know what your brother did was a courageous thing for you to be here. If that was you than you would have never met your true mate who happens to be Dean. I think he would have never found his true mate if the tables were turned. Like you want for Michael I would love for Dean to have. Castiel you are living proof you are meant for something so beautiful that no one could ever have because of the circumstances that has taken a twist in life. Living proof that you are meant to live a long happy life even if that doesnt include your brother. You are an amazing person and you are worth it, even if you cant see it but I do. Dean sees it to along with Sam even though we have only known you for a day but still I can feel that from you” you tell him as you wipe away the tears from his face and kiss his forehead.

While you did that he still has his head down looking to the table top and closes his eyes when your lips meet his fore head.

“You really are a lovely person you know that, I know it takes a while to get back to my normal self. By being with you I feel like I can grasp something of myself from years ago and now I am getting the feeling I can fully appreciate the little things in life again. Now I am really happy I have taken this job opportunity with you and I thank you for all of this” he says as he lifts his head to get a good look at you and tell you while he gazes into your eyes.

You were cut off by the door bell ringing and you get up from the chair to answer it.

“No let me” he says as he gets up from the table to answer the door and its a customer for the plush toys they have ordered.

You run down the stairs to get the order from your office and run back up the stairs to hand it to Castiel. They say their thank yous and went on their merry way home to surprise the children with such amazing toys to cherish forever.

********************************************

Taglist: 

@animegirlgeeky 

@strangerthingshargove 

@freerebelmentality 

@enthusedbycuriosity 

@sia-del

[pickledeyes]

god i have SO MANY THOUGHTS on episode 7 im putting them in one post. BTW TW for like, child molestation mention.

1. I cried. Thx Rami Malek, I cried.

2. I kinda hate that this weird therapy session was with fucking Vera like ??? This guy ?? Season 1 killed whats her name and then let Elliot open the trunk to find her body like whys he here like “Oh Elliot I know how you feel my life was difficult too” I dont WANT to feel sympathetic towards him Sam Esmail I hate his guts hes disgusting lmao.

3. The MINUTE they started focusing on the window incident like the minute Krista was like “Do you remember that or do you just know what Darlene told you” I was like Oh boy. Here we go. Elliots gonna end up finding out he developed DID because his dad abused him. But like, god it still got me when they finally got to it just because thats... so awful I mean he threw himself out of a window rather than face his dad because he was so afraid at 7 years old thats... so awful for anyone to go through just in general.

4. Even tho I hate that they tried to give Vera a sympathetic background, I did like that he didn’t start calling Elliot a pussy or anything for crying bc like,, god I dont think I could sit thru Elliot having a genuine reaction to something traumatic w this stupid ass gang leader calling him a wuss for crying. Also just in general like, let men cry without being labelled as weak n stuff. Veras little speech was pretty okay up until he got got.

5. I was so afraid that they were gonna try to do a flashback scene.. lol I was so scared bc I really didnt want them to do any sort of flashback scene just bc to be honest alluding to molestation... is ENOUGH. I dont need to see anything more. They might do that in future episodes tho so I’m not gonna pat Sam Esmail on the back yet :/

6. I like that they didnt interrupt that moment w any flashback tho and I like that Mr Robot completely left right before Elliot like, came to the realization. I think it was a good choice just from like, director/writer standpoint.

7. THANK GOD FOR KRISTA. THANKS FOR FINALLY STABBING VERA I hope he stays dead I dont want his ass showing up again anymore smh.

8. Lastly bc I wanted to end on an even number, I’m really glad they made the window scene make sense. Tbh I thought they were never gonna make it make any sense and were gonna leave it at like “Lol Elliots just always been soo crazy he threw himself out of a window when he was 7 for no reason!!” n like, that woulda sucked. I like that its one of the storylines thats carried out through the seasons and has just been added on to.

Those are my thoughts anyway I’ll pick up tomorrow to catch up before the two part finale n I’ll use the mr robot tag again