#so this means the willingness to go to war is being revealed

[seawitchkaraoke]

Honestly whenever I make a jokey exaggerated post on here talking about some fandom or other and then people take it seriously and actually argue with me and quote canon and do actual analysis I feel like I’m back in 10th grade where I was bored in german class so when we had to analyze poems in groups I went hard and over the top and convinced my entire group of ridiculous interpretations totally making sense.

I think my teacher eventually caught on to the fact that I knew exactly that I was overanalyzing this poem and that a line about hats flying off people’s heads because of the wind being about pre WWI germans revealing their willingness for war did not actually make sense. But I had everyone else convinced

[lunastwilightblog]

After a battle, Aro reads the memories of his guards to check who they’ve killed so he knows who to go after or have followed.

The Romanians, for example, must have left some of Aro’s envoys alive so they can convey messages back to him, such as their response to his threat of war. They must have seen the faces of hundreds of humans and vampires in the Romanians’ castles’ walls and the surrounding areas. Therefore Aro knows the face of perhaps most of those who were at least present with the Romanians at the time the war began.

Thus only Vladimir and Stefan remaining alive really does mean, truly, thoroughly, that they are the very last remaining people from their coven and its allies. Aro saw everyone who was loyal to them and killing them was ticking off a to-do list.

Now Aro knows everyone Edward knows, and the thoughts of those around him, which undoubtedly reveal other allies of the Cullens who didn’t turn up to the confrontation.

This is absolutely terrifying. Just like with the Romanian war, Aro could stalk or kill all of these people, having his eye on more people than Edward probably realises. He may have already started, to prevent a repeat of the Cullens being able to amass a force at short notice.

This must be why Vladimir and Stefan do not create another force of their own and opt to join another’s - the risk of all their loved ones’ lives passes on to the leaders of the force they joined, not to them.

It doesn’t seem like Bella understands this. Her quick willingness (and Garrett’s) to decide she may again stand against the Volturi in the future puts everyone’s lives in jeopardy. Not only were those who stood with Vladimir and Stefan slaughtered, but their families and friends too, and those who just happened to be temporarily in their castles when war came.

Bella has sentenced everyone she loves to death with some words

(I also have a post on how tbh Aro has been nothing but kind to her after he’s let her live every time she might have broken the law, notably in NM, so she should like him a lot more than she does. Her inability to understand just how merciful he’s been so far and to just talk badly of him and stand up in arms against him will be a grave mistake (and insult))

[cellias]

ok yes the “she met a pinecone’s fate” felt so mean and out of place with the empathetic Percy we see in the book’s narrative BUT !!

when rewatching the scene my attention was brought back to what annabeth says before that— “she fought valiantly and met a hero’s fate.” i remember thinking about how brainwashed (for lack of a better word) annabeth is. she respects the gods immensely at this point in her life, all she wants is for her mother to notice her, because that’s all she knows. her father let the emotional neglect go so far that she ran away at seven years old, and her mother only communicates with her a few times.

her idea of a hero is the willingness to self-sacrifice, and the bearing of tragedy in life, but this idea disregards the fact that had the gods been more attentive and present, thalia wouldn’t have had to do sacrifice her life. her concept of a hero’s fate ignores the unjust fact that thalia was only recognized by her father in death and is hyper-focused on the honor that it is to be given a god’s time of day. we also see annabeth holding the gods to a high esteem later in the episode when she argues with medusa in favor of the story that she’s heard rather than what the person who lived through it has to say. as well as when she tries to stop percy from sending medusa’s head to olympus.

this ties into percy’s “impertinent” behavior toward the gods. we know percy thinks the gods are fucked up, he shows it in the book and the series early on when he learns about them. he’s mad at poseidon and acknowledges that it’s his fault sally is gone, unprotected and seemingly unnoticed, and that percy is kinda left to fend for himself in a new world. in the series he prays to his mom instead of his father despite seeing the tribute the other kids give to their godly parents. he rejects that side of his parentage because he feels his mom is the only one who deserves the credit for his life. he says that the gods had been unfair to thalia in the book when he learns about her. he defends himself against the Zeus’s accusation by saying “‘i’m just a kid!’” i think that line is important, and especially what annabeth says about it later on, because it shows how different their mindsets are.

percy has been protected and loved by his mom his entire life up to this point. she’s tried to give him a good life, and that’s the root of his character. he realizes the incredulity of this entire situation because he has not been fighting to survive without the love and support of a parent since he was young. annabeth left her home at a young age, was left in dangerous conditions, and fought for her life when she was only 7, and she’s been training for war ever since. she’s surrounded by kids who went through the same thing, specifically luke and formerly thalia. in the series, annabeth takes the “I’m just a kid” claim and reveals she finds it naive and ignorant, because he’s a part of something bigger than him and that he needs to accept his fate. (again, she’s been preparing for this her whole life, he’s been thrust into it after losing his mom)

when percy hears this story from grover about three demigods on the run, two of them near his age when they went through it, he is hearing a story about three kids being ignored and left to fend for themselves by their parents. he’s already angry about the gods’ lack of interference and how normal it seems to be at camp. when he hears annabeth regard thalia and her ultimate fate as heroic and respectable, he doesn’t see it as the same. he finds thalia heroic and brave, but her fate not so much. annabeth’s admiration contrasts his questioning toward the gods. percy most likely found Zeus’s decision to finally notice his daughter by turning her into a tree as anything but heroic, more pathetic.

at least that’s how i interpret the “she met a pinecone’s fate” line. I think it adds to his reputation and growing disdain for the gods and their attitude. idk what do u guys think 😫

[prettyboykatsuki]

after hours | jing yuan.

✮ tags ; this reads fucked up but everything is consensual !!, petplay but its fucked up, muzzles / leashes, masc + afab!reader petnames (mutt, stupid pretty boy), reader is described vaugely as scarred / muscular but it's part of their job, vibrators, humiliation / mild degradation (he is a bit demeaning) assassin/special forces reader, general jing yuan, imbalanced power dynamics, they are LOVERS.

✮ wc ; 2.1k (sorry)

✮ a/n ; i am still on writing hiatus i promise i just. i promise i am. i think this is the most psychologically revealing thing ive written since april.

✮ synopsis ; general jing yuan likes his pets well trained.

General Jing Yuan has few rules for his sub-ordinates, but he is only especially strict on one.

If, by chance, there is reason for them to be boarded in the same quarters - do not disturb him after hours.

Jing Yuan is a wise man, and a good leader. He leads with care. He does not focus too heavily on the strictness of military - though he thinks it's a good thing for young men to have that sort of structure. Especially if they are without cause. Like love or family.

Men without reason or purpose go on to cause havoc across the known world. It is whims of evil, lacking true virtue that Jing Yuan finds most intolerable to deal with. Even so, while structure and order is necessary to wield power, he is not especially keen on enforcing it too greatly.

A soldiers life is dictated by his willingness to live despite the odds, if only to fight to the end. To end up under his leadership thus, is proof enough of their trustworthiness.

When the one rule he is strict on is broken - he can only assume the state of emergency.

He looks at you, chained and muzzled, near growling. Noisy thing you are. He wraps the chain around your neck with a deep, cumbersome sigh. Pulling you up to him, he whispers against your cheek with a huff of mild annoyance.

"Wait here, boy."

He slides the door behind him and opens another one. A young cloud-knight, bright-eyed and fearsome - bows his head in respect. His commanding officers must've sent him to teach him a lesson.

"General Jing Yuan," Jing Yuan is impressed he hasn't stuttered.

"At ease. I suspect there's been some emergency since you've come to my chambers at the hours I strictly forbid," He says, arms crossed over bare chest.

"Yes, General. Th-there's been an issue with the interference mission. We c-can't get in touch with the commander of the operation and the signal has been cut completely."

Jing Yuan rubs his chin with thumb and forefinger.

"If they've been infiltrated, it's on our best action to wait. Focus on re-establishing the signal by any means. If more than 48 hours pass, we'll send reinforcements then."

"Yes, General. Order received."

Jing Yuan nods, waving a hand.

"'Be on your way. And do not disturb me again until morning."

The solider returns on his wave, and Jing Yuan shuts the door with another sigh before returning to his bedroom.

Truly, he doesn't like being disturbed at times like this. Enacting justice and punishment is a task that requires attention.

He is, most pleased by the sight in front him. You're bent over on his floor, waiting impatiently. The heavy chain of a leash coiled around your throat, face pushed into the soft fabrics laid out underneath you - an act of forgiveness. What kind of Master would he be to lay you out on the marble? On your knees and elbows, a pillow under you and something pushed soft against your clit.

Jing Yuan returns to the seat he had placed in front of you. It's hard these days, for him to find this kind of excitement.

Yes, it is most pleasing to see you like this. A dog, an animal of war - chained up at his feet with a nasty anger tucked between your maw. You are fine to look at. Scars and muscle, fingers bruised from being broken over and over.

You never quite learn how to behave yourself. A man without reason, a being with so much pride it overflows. He reaches his hand to your hair and gathers it, enough to tug you up.

He grins at the sight. Tear-stained and so wounded with desire you can't stand to your feet, a pathetic quality to you that makes Jing Yuan want to dote on you. You glare at him and the gesture does little to soften his want.

Jing Yuan is thankful at times, that his relationship to you is unofficial. That you are his mercenary, his spear - and not his subordinate. He has no desire to treat you fairly.

"I haven't been gone long," He muses, hand tightening if only to see you flinch "And I see you in this state. What happened to your fortitude?"

With this, Jing Yuan joins you on the ground. He sits with his legs cross and maneuvers you, swift as he positions you over his lap. You are naked and drooling and so angry, so tied up in your emotion that you can only glare.

Jing Yuan's desire to treat you affectionately, it born from a greater desire to discipline.

To an untrained eye, it may not be easy to recognize. But you, who always carries death and always tastes of iron, must be disciplined in ways that are unordinary. Jing Yuan must show you shame. Dominance through the plagues of embarrassment.

If Jing Yuan were a fool, he would fight you. You are a formidable opponent even for him.

But he is the wise, and knowing. This is an eaiser way to get you to act in accordance to his wishes.

"What's become of you?" He teases and you gasp. He taps the machine attached to your clit, making you collapse over his shoulder "This much sensation and you're drooling."

You are younger than Jing Yuan. Most people are. Still, he cannot treat you to accordance of this fact - not when you whine through your throat. The anger is dissipating slowly in you. You show relief when he turns it off, tossing the little bullet to one side.

He replaces it with his hands - his fingers rub softly. Your nerves are overstimulated, nails digging into his shoulder. You stare at him hard, iron of the muzzle gone hot as you push against his mouth. You want to bite, of course you do. But you can't.

"If you behaved better I would've let you do as you please," He hums, middle finger rubbing through your folds - so wet it drips. Calm, loving - but disciplinary all the same. You are so aroused it is almost shameful "Let you stake your claim on your general as you pleased. As your superior, it is my job to reward you."

"Yet you've killed our important informant, and it is also my job to punish you accordingly," He says, amused. He isn't as careful as he should be, sticks his fingers far into your cunt. It welcomes him so readily. He grins to himself, just a little "And so this too, is for your own good."

You shake above him, still angry. Less so. Jing Yuan gives you a look.

"Do you understand me?"

"Am I permitted to speak, you bastard?" You spit, though the words don't carry the same weight when they are spoken breathlessly.

"You've done well not to thus far," He says, easier this time - curling his fingers and pushing against the squishy, spongy part inside of you that leaves you trembling under his touch "I've asked you a question."

"And why should I have to answer to that?"

"Because, sword of mine," He says, thrusting his fingers hard enough that you bend. The pleasure washes over you, and you're so unlike yourself you nearly break. "I'm more than willing to leave you in this sorry state."

You give him a challenging look, an angry you wouldn't dare. Jing Yuan returns it with one of amusement, a lazy smile as if to answer are you willing to take the risk?

The truth, unbeknownst to you, is merely that he wouldn't. He would have to restrain himself in order to punish you thoroughly. You are a follower of instinct and sensation, so Jing Yuan can foresee your answer.

"I understand, you annoying prick."

Jing Yuan stares at you. You freeze then grit your teeth.

"I understand, General."

"Your hands are free," Jing Yuan whispers as he leaves you, caressing your cheek with his thumb, over a raised white scar "Use them."

Jing Yuan watches with utter delight as you undo his robe. How your hands come up to undo the comfortable confines. To tug at his boxers and free his cock. How your hands - hands that have committed violence so unspeakable, tremble like a flower in the breeze trying to touch him. You wrap your palm around his shaft unsteadily. Jing Yuan puts his hand ontop of yours. Intimate, full to the brim with excitement.

"Are you just going to touch it?"

You flush up to your ears. Jing Yuan leans close.

"A mutt like you should know very well how to sit,"

You glare but it urges you forward. Jing Yuan watches, half lust and half amusement as you lean forward slightly and line himself up with your entrance. You hiss as Jing Yuan feels the head of his cock push through and forward. Hot and warm, so slippery it feels like you're trying to push him out. He grabs you by the hip and slams you down hard, bottoming out.

You curse under your breath but it's not much more than noise to Jing Yuan. Jing Yuan wants to be unfair to you, so he holds you up and fucks you without mercy. There's only a brief pause, where he pulls out only to push all the way back in.

He keeps you in place just like that, and watches your expressions change over and over again. From irritated, to wanting, to almost lecherous with desire. A sense of adrenaline that leaves Jing Yuan's whole body feeling so alive, electricity running through his nerves. He loves seeing you like this - seeing his hardened right-hand turn into a stupid, drooling pretty boy. It elates him to see you like that, see your pussy fucked all the way open on his cock.

It makes him visceral and cruel, makes him want to fuck you so hard his thighs imprint on your ass.

So he fucks you, hard and fast - cock splitting you open and touching you so deep you can't even fix your mouth to bit him. There's drool coming through the metal grates, dripping on his chest and your eyes look like they're practically rolled back.

"Such a bad temper," Jing Yuan hisses, teeth sticking into your neck "Yet you get so wet," Thrust "And so pliable," Thrust "Like you're begging for me to be inside."

"Fuck," You curse, and you hold your breath "F-fuck, touch me, I'm gonna,"

Jing Yuan decides to heed your request, putting his hand between your bodies - rubbing your clit fast and hard. It's almost instant, the effect it has on you, how quickly you start to shake above him. He can feel your walls tighten around him, silken and slick. Begging for him, aren't you? Just begging to be fucked so full so you can let yourself go.

Of course Jing Yuan intends to give you just that. With ease and lust so bone deep, he lays you flat on your back before bringing his hands under your knees. He presses his full weight unto you.

"You're—oh, why're you—you're so deep."

"Yes, that's it," He says, and he can't keep himself together like he would like "This is will help won't it. Be a good mutt, and heel. Take it all,"

It doesn't take much more for Jing Yuan to push you over the edge. You're a sight for sore eyes like that, broken and fucking yourself back onto him. It's magnificent. Jing Yuan could never, ever get tired of looking at you fall apart so wholly. The praise falls out of his lips smoothly as you pulse around him over and over and over.

"That's it. This is what you needed isn't it?"

You spasm, squeeze so hard on Jing Yuans cock he can't help but bottom out. He cums like that, deep inside and fucks you through it. It leaves a mess of white in a ring around him when he does manage to pull himself out.

He rests his cock through puffy folds as he reaches around the back of your head - undoing the muzzle and letting you free. He rubs carefully at the indented skin before kissing you gingerly.

You blink at him through your lashes, running your fingers through soft grey hairs. Your voice is hoarse.

"You're a bastard, General."

"You seem upset, my dear."

"Don't call me that right now," You rasp, throat thick. You kiss him again anyways, and Jing Yuan laughs.

"Learn to control yourself," Jing Yuan reprimands, pushing his lips against your jaw "And I won't have any reason to upset you."

"I'm not promising you anything."

"Then stay by my side," Jing Yuan offers instead "I'll continue to punish you accordingly."

[lets-try-some-writing]

The Grim Dark Archives: Statement #003 Holoforms

[Statement taken from [Redacted] on the 11th of October 2004, one year and two months after the Autobots have made their presence known and begun corresponding with human personnel. [Redacted] has been complacent but has refrained from revealing anything that we could use against the Autobots. They have shown willingness to give us ways to ward off Cybertronians, but they refuse to give us any data that we could use to potentially cause actual harm.

No amount of bribery or convincing has changed [Redacted]'s stance. Even using our own vulnerability as a talking point failed. High command has not issued an order to force [Redacted] to give up such information, but with what we are learning, I worry that order may come sooner rather than later.

Recently a report was received from Agent Fowler that caused a great deal of concern among high command. The Autobots were seen using what they call 'holoforms' to interact with humans. They do this by using an avatar that looks like it could be a human without closer inspection. It was not explained how they gained these avatars, but recently five individuals were reported missing across the continent. This alone is not unusual, but what is causing concern is the fact that the Autobots avatars match the missing individuals down to every detail except voice and mannerism.

In light of this, [Redacted] was called upon to give a statement in regard to the situation and what it means.

Statement begins.]

═��════════════════

Holoforms? I suppose it would make sense for my kin to begin using them now that they have largely adapted to your planet and overall culture. My kind have always been fond of trying to blend in as much as possible on whatever worlds and with races they interact with. Its not even required half the time, but they do it instinctually. I suppose it is because blending in decreases chances of being killed, or it might even be a side effect of the T-cog. Whatever the case, it shows that they are settling in and preparing to act more boldly.

I will begin with a bit of history before I explain everything else.

To start, the idea of a holoform was not devised until the golden age when the empire struck out across the stars. Before that age we were content on our homeworld and had no need for holoforms to communicate. However as we spread and our empire grew, we found that even our adaptation couldn't make up for the impression our frames gave. Thus we searched for a way to make speaking with other races easier when our adaptation failed to suffice.

Much like T-cogs, our holoforms are not something we are forged with. No, the ability to create a holoform comes from an upgrade given to diplomatic units, or at least it was before the war. Now the upgrade is so common as to be given to every unit able to receive it. As for what the upgrade does? It allows up to process data on organic and inorganic material through a special series of... functions that we use to understand what we are processing on a base level. I do not believe it would be wise to elaborate further-

... I do not believe explaining the details would do you any good. It's not pretty by any means-

Fine... if you must know... just be warned that its a rather touchy thing for you organic types. The last group who learned very nearly waged war over the subject. I suppose it doesn't matter much now, you couldn't fight back against my kin even if you wanted to. At full strength, they could destroy your planet's entire structure without even devoting their full processing power to the action.

Right... we have unique nano-technology embedded alongside our processors that allows us to create a replication of what we are knowledgeable on. That means when we create holoforms we go out of our way to understand every single detail of what he are trying to replicate... inside and out. We need to pick what we are replicating apart in every conceivable sense to truly understand. We need to connect to them and see how they work, what makes them tick and function.

Those missing humans? I can tell you almost exactly what happened. It is near certain that they were specifically picked out from amongst your population for their traits and for their ability to vanish and largely be unnoticed. Looking at these files, I see a missing adult male, ex military with no family, grizzled expression and a firm build who disappeared in the woods up in Alaska. That one was likely taken by the Prime. I can already guarantee he is dead. The Prime most likely picked him out and hunted him down. At that point the male was most probably taken to whatever facility the Autobots are using and meticulously tested and taken apart until the Prime had a detailed understanding of how the male functioned.

I cannot even begin to guess what they did exactly. I have never taken a holoform, so I am unacquainted with the process. That said, it would not surprise me to learn that they dug through the male's mind until they had a detailed understanding of its functioning. It also would not be out of the ordinary for them to have slowly cut the male open to examine his biological functioning. The medic quite likely drew the process out too considering the way medics function. They are odd mecha... odd and dangerous. Whatever the case, the male is dead, along with whoever else was taken. They live on as images and facsimiles of my kin who will bear their likeness until they prove no longer useful or more data is made available.

Oh yes I can near promise you that the humans taken by the Autobots suffered and endured torment no being with pain receptors should ever face. However I would remind you that your world is covered in all sorts of your kind who can and do vanish without a trace. A few of your less useful humans perished so that the Autobots will not need to tear into your more valuable ones, at least until their medic decides to run more tests.

I would personally suggest keeping your noses out of it. The Autobots have what they want now, and if you keep clear of their machinations, you should be fine. Their acquisition of holoforms will not harm you any time soon. Now if there were a few dozen bots taking on holoforms, then I would tell you to begin gearing up for war. When that happens it generally means the empire is preparing for an invasion, but as it is, the Autobots are too weak and scattered to care about your planet in any significant manner.

Keep your head down and don't say a word. That is my advice if you want to keep of the medic's operating table.

══════════════════

[Statement ends.

[Redacted]'s words... they tell us a great deal. The Autobots are a threat, that much we know. They have weapons we didn't even know of and still there is so much to be addressed. What did [Redacted] mean when they spoke of the medic? Just what the hell happened to those missing people?

...What did [Redacted] mean by invasion?

We need to ask more questions, we need to understand everything we can about these aliens if we hope to survive. Not even [Redacted] is truly safe, they are not kind, though they portray themselves as if they were. They are different than the Autobots, that much is certain, but they are not like us. I doubt they even know that with how much they try to claim to understand about us.

Agent Witwicky signing off.

Recording ends.]

[etheriadearie]

Hi! First of all, love your blog!! I have a question that I would love to hear your thoughts on - I love your analysis of catra and think so much of it is spot on. I love hearing about how much of her actions have come from a place of love for adora.. I was wondering what about the scene where she cuts adora off the cliff to presumably fall to her death? was she really in that moment ok with killing her? what do you think about Moments like that where we see the physical harm she is willing

Catra's long walk through darkness to being the light of Adora's life-

This is such an important moment so thanks for bringing it up. To put things simply, Catra believes she’s not killing Adora. In fact, I'm certain she KNOWS she isn't. How am I sure? Because what we’re seeing play out is something deeper, that is, in fact, magic... (meta to come, but first…)

Pictured: four times Catra encounters Etheria's magic- (Promise/Promise/Portal/Heart Part2)

Promise is the most important episode of SPOP prior to s5, it really has no equal. The fractured history of their relationship before we meet them in ep1 is revealed, and as such, the reasons Catra feels she must be apart- all while there are actually three forces acting upon both Catra and Adora. I hear about two of them, but what's the third?

I'd encourage anyone reading this meta to carefully listen as Catra makes Adora fall. Because what we're hearing is important. (feel free to do so now or later)

🎶🎵 Do you hear it? 🎶🎵 Why does the music rise and then gloriously crescendo as Catra says her final goodbye?

The music rising here makes this an 🎶undeniably🎶 positive moment for Catra. This is -their- song, Promise, and it crescendos as Catra leaves Adora. So what's the deal?

Well, in short, it means that Catra leaving Adora is the right thing. How can that be. Well, Adora's willingness to sacrifice herself, and others, who she loves, to fulfill duty is wrong. Adora isn't becoming a hero like the Princesses and Light Hope tell her she is, she's walking into a millennia old trap. Catra has seen this behavior before, and Adora’s not choosing the strong path of a hero of love.

Adora’s false belief in duty means that she goes from fulfilling one manipulator's every wish, Shadow Weaver, to another when she gets the sword- the First Ones. And Catra knows in her gut that Adora is wrong, like she has been before. So, Catra -must- refuse to enable her any longer. In doing so, Catra is rightly asserting her own personal worth.

The narrative arc goes on to show us that in s1-4 Adora not a hero, and the reasons Catra is rejecting her during Promise are exactly why she's not on the true path of She-ra: By rejecting love, Adora cannot be a hero, she instead enacts a false form of false justice thats based in naive belief and others prejudices. This is why Catra wanted to go, because she’s seen it all before- where Adora rationalizes others' pain as part of her false duty, letting her anxious need to satisfy others control her.

Yes, the war is terrible, and Catra is directly involved in its cruelty. We should absolutely fault her for that. I'll of course talk about Adora's violence being similar, but Catra indeed rationalizes violence as necessary in a terribly biased way. Like many of you, I found her s4 portrayal hard to stomach and I didn't know if she could come back from who she seemed to have become. It took Nate Stevenson’s genius s5 for me to realize he had done something amazing with her and Adora’s arcs. Yet, in the subtext of the plot it's obvious that Catra shouldn't go with Adora, as well as that the war that they fight in s1-4 isn't quite what it seems... (more later)

In the most basic way possible, Catra would not want to go along with Adora considering her false behavior, but this is a decision reinforced by the power of magic, which we’ll discuss. Catra’s choices are rooted in survival always, (not in wanting power or proving herself, nuhuh) and the way Adora treated her was abandonment which encouraged the violence she was up against from their abuser. It's not surprising Catra would want to go her own way, and so the only way she sees for herself to survive is within the Horde. It's about survival, simply that.

And Adora, meanwhile, can't have her cake (trying to enact a false form of She-ra justice) and eat it too (have Catra’s love.) She feels loneliness where Catra used to be because of her own falseness that she’s acting out due to her traumas. Going on emotions alone there are good reasons for their separation, and both are wrong, but there's also a magical force here that's leading them both up to the true crescendo of Promise when Catra confesses her love…

But I digress, let's discuss the meaning of Promise, and the hidden magic behind what happens.

The 3 forces: two good, one "evil"

The first of the three forces acting on Catra and Adora in Promise is plain to see: the love which they have for each other, which ought to mean that they can heal their divide. But, as we know, their love is too fractured at this point to do so.

The next is our 'evil' force- Light Hope, who most people assume is controlling what they see in the Crystal Castle to manipulate and divide them towards the ends of enacting the First Ones plan of destroying Etheria. But, does this explanation really make sense, or does it lack something?

Why would Nate Stevenson have the music soar as Catra walks away from Adora if that were the case? Promise being so gloriously played as she does this makes this a positive moment for Catra, although melancholy, and not the moment of Light Hope's triumph in her dark plot. We don't hear this song played so gloriously again until s5 when Catra confesses her love, when the music reaches its true crescendo. Maybe the music here means that Catra mustn't go with Adora, for Adora’s own sake-?

This is what I mean by a third, mysterious and -magical- force, that's also acting on them, which is on the side of good, but is seeing the long game and trying to avert the larger disaster we see at the end of s4 when the weapon is activated- the evil First Ones plot nearly coming to fruition and destroying them all. This force gives Catra a push towards separating from Adora during Promise, where it is letting history play out so that Adora's falseness as its hero is exposed. This force is deep planetary magic...

The rising of the music is a hint its presence, but the direct evidence of it is seen during strange happenstances in Promise, which we’ll discuss, as well as further occurrences later on in the series. What this force is trying to accomplish is the halting of that evil plot, as that is paramount, and is working towards Adora developing into the hero of love she's supposed to be. Adora needs to have the strength of self to reject false manipulations and burdens, in order to defeat their true enemies all along- the First Ones and Horde Prime.

And, for Adora to confront her own wrong baises, Catra cannot enable her false rationalizations any more. So, the magic is acting on Catra, helping her to decide to go. It's not just her anger at Adora's rationalizing away her pain that's guiding Catra's decision to let Adora struggle alone as a false hero, the magic tells her that she's right. If Adora can't see how she's wrong, like how she didn't know Shadow Weaver continued to torture Catra, then being apart is what’s right for Catra and also what will enable Adora to come to terms with her own weaknesses. All of which needs to happen for Adora to realize the path of the hero of love, and for them to come back together in the end and win with the power of love.

This force guiding Catra is the deep magic of Etheria, the magic of love.

Razz describes magic as a source of beauty and of good, which cannot be controlled, it just is.

It is love, as well as the beautiful diversity of life, it is its own innate force- and love is more powerful than anything in the universe. Loving is perhaps the greatest thing we can do during our lives…

And, as we first see Catradora in episode 1, there's hardly any love, especially from Adora back to Catra. After all, Adora rationalized and enabled their abusers actions. Catra, in contrast, was still doing her best to love Adora as of ep1, to wake her from her anxious need to satisfy Shadow Weaver, to bring her back to love. But she had no way to reach her, because Adora had stopped listening to her long ago...

During Promise, Etheria's magic sees that Catradora is but a whisper of its potential, and it needs both of them to be strong by love. Adora may go on to learn to be a hero of love the hard way, making many mistakes with grave consequences, but Catra’s journey alone and the dark consequences of her actions will give her the wisdom she needs to be strong enough to be with Adora, who is the focus of over a millennia's of violence and deception. It's Catra who knows to double down on love, and by doing so is able to unlock Adora’s power of love that lets them win in the end.

But I digress- what does the guidance of this mysterious force look like, and what are its intentions?

The first uncanny moment of its intervention can be seen when Adora beings to fall and Catra catches her:

The way the plot has Catra so casually in position to catch Adora feels unnatural. That's because, as we’re watching this scene, Catra is in no position to save Adora, having distanced herself from Adora because she was pestering Catra about why she returned the sword, aggravating her.

Catra so illogically being out of place to save her here is a hint that there's something else going on. It's as if Catra knew Adora would fall before it happens…

This is what I mean by guiding force, because I believe this is exactly what we're seeing- where it's Etheria’s magic guiding this moment, not Light Hope. It sets a trust fall moment for them. And we can see how Adora doesn't get it:

We know in canon that Catra always loved Adora (also, Catra's tail flirt at the end ☺️), but the prejudiced viewpoint Adora shares here shows just how little she gets it. Like how she didn't know Catra continued to be tortured by Shadow Weaver, like how she didn't know the Horde was evil before Glimmer berates and guilts her over it, yet Catra did. Adora is far too focused on duty and satisfying others unfair expectations to see the truth, it was true before she switched sides and it's true afterwards, and that’s how she's not on the true path of She-ra.

We're also seeing the thesis moment of Promise here, because the rest of the episode plays out to show us just how wrong Adora is. We see the memory of Catra being tortured and then treated with death threats by their abuser, how Adora came up short in standing up to Shadow Weaver, and then how she went on to break the promise she made to Catra in order to satisfy their abusers expectations. Adora has a naive belief in duty due to her trauma that's being exposed and which prevents her from being the true She-ra.

During this moment of Catra catching Adora it's not so much that Adora misstepped, than that the magic changed the ground to make sure Adora would start to fall- setting up the trust fall, of which Catra is given privileged knowledge is about to happen, that exposes Adora’s false mentality for us to see.

::I suspect Catra likely feels this coming like hearing a whisper in the back of her mind. It is the first of many guidances from the magic... how it happens doesn't really matter, as we see further evidence of interventions on their behalves later in the series. But in Promise, she will act on this whisper, which confirms to her that her feeling that Adora is misguided are justified, like she has seen Adora be before. Since Adora had closed herself off emotionally to any guidance Catra tries to give her at this point in the series, Catra will choose to go alone instead.

So, there really is no way Catra would be with Adora at this point in the series; hoping she’d be with her with Adora’s falseness as a friend is hoping for something that was simply not there. Catra, as the person who Adora stopped valuing with love, will (unconsciously) play the part of Adora’s foil in s1-4 that's needed to expose the weakness that makes her no hero of love. This is where Catra's needed, and Etheria knows Adora’s failure to trust in love will lead to her failing as Etheria's hero, something that must be corrected if the cycle of violence is to ever actually stop- as she goes on to do at the end of s5. It's guidance is a nudge in the direction of Catra leaving so Adora will learn how she's a false hero.

Adora really does have a problem with letting others misguide her, Light Hope of course but also Glimmer, who forces false burdens on her unthinkingly. Adora must instead choose love over false duty and burdens, because love is what can guide her hero's journey and will make her strong enough to overcome the really difficult things that history is asking of her. Catra will help her do this gladly in s5, but don't make the mistake of assuming Adora in s1 was capable of accepting Catra's love and advice, she’s blocked it off from herself with her anxious trauma guided beliefs. In truth, Adora needed to change for the better just as much as Catra did.

Now, I realize that this theory may be hard to accept, because it means Etheria stans the war, if only a bit. But, with how much is wrong with the war, such as the prejudices the Princesses show while further being ignorant of how they're part of a First Ones weapon, there are no easy solutions to fixing this. Etheria needs them all to be stronger, but to be strong they must choose that strength for themselves- the strength of love, it cannot tell them what to do. Doing that produces no real strength.

They must learn- the hard way: Catra and Adora must choose to value love by their own will, but that doesn't mean Etheria isn't going to remain idle when so many seek to manipulate and destroy them, especially such as with Adora, who is the focus of Light Hope and the First Ones plots.

It's acting on them both here, but as it just so happens, there's another time the magic guides Catra during Promise-

The next time we see Etheria guiding Catra is as she watches Adora make the promise to her child self that was broken, and then Catra's child self stops to look back at Catra, her eyes full of meaning:

Catra's child self's actions here isn't a memory, it's an addition, one added by Etheria as it tries to communicate to Catra the gravity of Adora’s misguided behavior. I really can't accept the idea that Light Hope produced this moment, because she's not some perfect abuser. There is way too much nuanced emotion occurring.

Etheria’s magic, on the other hand, is a living thing- even if not human, it intimately understands love as a powerful force that exists in nature, and it's telling Catra to not enable Adora's false heroes path any longer. Not when she values love so little as to give in to prejudice and allow others ignorant and/or self centered narratives to guide her.

Their real enemies- the First Ones and Horde Prime, will be able to exploit Adora’s fragile guilt complex against her- by accepting the sword, she stepped into their trap. Because of that, in s1-4 a thousand years of manipulations are right on track to give the First Ones what they want- destroying Etheria, something that can only be stopped once and for all if Adora accepts her true self, her loving heart that makes her the hero of love. And Catra, while the Horde IS wrong, is providing the proving grounds needed for Adora to develop her own hero's way by allowing a false conflict to continue.

Adora remains misguided all the way until s4, when she starts to trust her own feelings, laying the groundwork for being the true She-ra we see in s5. It really does take her this long to do this, she really turns the corner on it for the better when she voices total rejection of the First Ones control in s4 as she smashes the sword, instead speaking her own mantra based on love. And, this rejection of the roles made for her by others happens in large part because of Catra’s unwillingness to accept Adora as someone who enacts naive and false justice. Even if it's hard to watch, Catra refusing to enable Adora was correct.

::As Catra's child self looks at her, magic is trying to tell Catra that following Adora now would mean nothing would ever actually get better, and that her behavior will result in further disaster. Catra decides then that following Adora would be the wrong thing to do...

::So no: Catra isn't trying to kill Adora at all, or even at any point in the series. We can take her words at the Battle of Brightmoon, that she knew Adora wouldn't die, to heart. Not that it's also easy to see how she knows that they are inside a simulation, and that on some level none of it is real, and that she therefore knows Adora is not in real danger if she falls.

But, Catra can feel that something else is trying to tell her that Adora is wrong, confirming her suspicions that Adora is on a false path once again. This force is Etheria’s magic, and it will guide her yet again...

That's the short answer, but we should talk about the other evidence of Etheria’s guidance and it's implications. Next up in our journey: the Portal episodes.

Later Evidence of Catra's connection to Etheria’s magic

Etheria’s next guidance happens during the Portal event, when all hope seems lost and Etheria is vanishing towards non-existence. The veil that separates magic and reality thins, and because of it, we get Corrupted Catra, returned from death instead infused with knowledge gifted by Etheria’s magic about She-ra’s of past to teach Adora that she is playing into the First Ones trap, read the full meta here if confused, or here's a handy summary:

As the world is collapsing into nonexistence, Etheria’s magic takes this opportunity to give Catra all of the knowledge she could ever desire that Adora and the Princesses are on a false path that’s naive, ignorant, and will lead to the fruition of the evil plans made for them by the First Ones, as well as giving Catra the whole history behind She-ra and the wrongness that’s allowed this to come to pass.

In s4 Catra at first takes this given knowledge to mean she must pursue renewed war against the Princesses, as well as against her abuser, >whom they are harboring<, before realizing her knowledge of the history of events leading to this wrongness means she’s in a unique position to help Adora overcome it all during s5- for the sake of love and survival. Probably a discussion for another time, so I digress.

The final major whisper happens in s5 while Adora is dying in the Heart chamber. As she is slipping towards death having given in to despair, Catra is able to save her by sharing the dream with her with Etheria’s help: it links their consciousnesses together. Read the full meta above if confused, or quickly here:

This isn't a random vision Adora has, they both see it and it's the personification of Catra’s love brought to life with some help from Etheria’s magic, to show Adora what she has to live for. It's magic, and yeah it's tapping into Adora's own repressed feelings as well as Catra's, and it can do so because while the Heart may be a machine, the magic inside it isn't- it has its own living consciousness and it understands what their love means. Etheria itself powers this moment, it is their biggest shipper- it helps them win in the end!

To conclude; each time it has an opportunity to act, like it does during Promise (because they are inside a simulation), the magic of love does so to help and guide Catra. And, by association, Adora. It's with Catra’s guidance that Adora is strong enough to absorb the Heart and win, as Catra is the one who brings Adora back to the power of love. Catradora love is so powerful that it can save the universe, but by theory, it doesn't happen without a little help from the wisdom of Etheria magic- and its innate knowledge of the power of love.

This masterful level of narrative arc is something I'm certain Nate Stevenson is capable of. And so, Adora and Catra aren't apart to make the plot work, it's a necessary part of Etheria’s magic guiding them towards the power of love, and helping them towards correcting the systematic wrongs of their world once and for all. While that equals Catra being on the wrong side of history, her resistance is part of proving to Adora how she is wrong as a hero. It was necessary.

But aside from that, let's talk about how Catra uses violence, since this AMA directly brings it up-

SPOP is a great show where there's a lot going on behind the scenes. Because of that, I think people tend to make up assumptions to fill in gaps they can't yet figure out. It's only natural, but one way I feel a lot of SPOP fans go wrong is when they suggest that Catra enjoys and seeks violence.

That's not really true- the data doesn't back it up. For example, Catra always holds back from killing. It's true in every fight, it's true like a dozen times over while she has Adora captured and at her mercy, but let's talk about the one time Catra had every reason to feel justified in killing.

This would be in s4 when Hordak comes after her. There's no doubt Hordak has deadly intent, to maim or to kill her, so it makes total sense that Catra would justify killing out of self defense. But instead, she goes to elaborate lengths to make Hordak land the final blow upon himself.

Catra sets him up to be done in by his own anger- he damages the forge equipment which crushes him while trying to kill her. So, even at the point of extreme personal peril, while Catra knocks him into the path of the falling equipment, she's making sure her own hands are clean. She really abhors killing- and she's fighting in control, always.

Therefore, any time we assume Catra is trying to kill is suspect of our own prejudices. She chooses not to, that's a line she chooses not to cross. I can say personally as someone that had to win fights brutally to protect my life and sanity, that I did have pride in winning those fights. That's what you're seeing on Catra's face. But, I can also tell you that everything about actual fighting disgusted me, and Catra is the same.

Catra grew up in a system where the violence was always going to come for her, fighting back was necessary and right. I can't empathize enough how being in such a position changes your outlook on life, and if you didn't experience her situation, you might not understand her. And yes indeed, as time goes on, Catra’s reliance on fighting does run out of control, so much so that it leads to her losing conscious control over it, such as shocking Entrapta and opening the Portal. But to that, let me say, in how Catra felt threatened by her abuser at that moment, it's surprising she didn't snap *sooner*- everyone has a breaking point, and after careful watching, I'm certain Catra considers that moment her greatest failure.

But hey, what fun is a meta without comparing her to her counterpart? What we actually see is that when put under pressure, Adora loses all control over her emotions and lashes out. This is in addition to how she’s self destructive, as we all know.

Adora does, in canon, almost kill Catra multiple times. I'm not even going to discuss Legend of the Fire Princess, you can read a discussion here. Instead, let's look at the Battle of Brightmoon.

How is it so easy for Catra to make Adora lose all control?

In part this difference in fighting with control comes from how Catra grew up under mortal danger from their abuser, she learned to be prepared to defend herself, either physically, or mentally against torture. She became hyper vigilant, and learned where the line between life and death stands, as well as her own breaking points. She learned how to act so she could hide her emotions, she sees bad things coming from miles away, and she prepares for them. When she leaves Adora in Promise, she can tell Adora is being manipulated yet again, reason enough to not follow her.

Adora, in contrast, was the target of the manipulations and the teacher's pet, and as such was supposed to win every contest, so she was treated that way by her teammates. At the moment she finds the sword, Adora is a person who’s never actually been in a fight, she doesn't know how to control her fear or her anger. Everything she's done was a training exercise. So, her emotions run out of control all the time.

All Catra had to do to make her snap was play on her guilt complex and fear of failing, something Shadow Weaver instilled in her to make her die for sacrifice, yet Catra can't stop herself from seeing Adora as being weak for giving in to it. It is indeed a weakness, and meanwhile, when Adora left she passed total judgment against everyone in her old life on the word of a manipulative computer program. She fails to try to understand them and goes on to try to win the war against them through extreme violence alone, she does this not out of some great moral clarity- she does it mostly out of guilt over how Glimmer and Angella make her feel bad about it- yet Glimmer is one the most flawed and prejudiced characters we see.

Adora is failing that critical test, and her behavior mirrors a lot of irl behavior we see in people who claim and want to be good but end up hurting others because of their naive understanding of what good actually is. Also, remember that Catra does come full circle in s5 to see how Adora was hurt in order to be controlled by guilt, and helps her get past it. She's the one person who can really get through to Adora on this matter. Catra is the only person who ever really tries to put the brakes on Adora’s need to anxiously satisfy others, not going along with her was part of this, and in s5 she insists that Adora stops doing it yet again.

Catra continues to object to Adora's misguided choices in s5, and she deserves praise for this, even if in the past she refused to go with Adora and fought the war instead. Adora’s behavior has to stop sometime, yes she laid the groundwork for it in s4 such as developing her mantra and smashing the sword, but we see how she's still not past what her abuser did to her in her decisions in s5. It'll take Catra's help to break past this, which we'll discuss more below.

So when it comes to violence we're supposed to consider this dichotomy: of Adora's unstable mentality and Catra's careful application of force. Nate is playing our presumptions against us by doing so, and asking us to look deeper. Because, when we investigate violence, we see it's actually Catra who can meter her violence to the situation, and it's Adora who's violence runs out of control. Catra uses violence precisely, usually as a tool for survival, she doesn't enjoy it. These are fights that were always going to come for her and she's not running from them. During s1-4, Catra is very deliberate with her choices, you can't really say the same about Adora.

Final thoughts: Catra's understanding of survival is what's most important to saving Adora's life-

Ultimately, Catra's arc is about love and not this magic, of course. And in this a big part of her arc is about convincing Adora not to die- Catra, who refused to die all along, must be strong enough to help Adora survive- by showing her how the choice of living is stronger than sacrificing to fulfill her (false) burdens.

We watch along as Catra goes through trauma and learns to faces it head on, she comes to terms with in a way that Adora couldn't... as the focus of a millennia long scheme meant to make her fail. Catra's relationship with trauma, and her experiences of nearly letting herself get killed because of those traumas, allows her to be a guide for Adora in s5 and her help is what powers Adora's final transformation.

This is something the magic helps her to do- because what it's doing is giving her the truth behind it all, so that she can be free to choose love. 😎 Yet, her s1 choice to survive, and to be apart from Adora who endangers her, is not the wrong choice, because, in fact, surviving will be Catra's most important lesson to Adora while she saves her.

Which is to say that we ought to recognize Catra's choosing survival, as opposed to Adora's acceptance of martyrdom, as a form of strength, even if she's working for the wrong side. A lot of what Catra does is inarguably wrong but she's also right about a lot- she's right that Adora betrays love and can seemingly rationalize any act in the name of corrupted duty, Catra barely survives Adora trying to literally kill her multiple times- and no, Catra doesn't ever try to kill her in return.

And Adora chose to rationalize it all in the name of She-ra not out of some great moral calling, but out of an anxious need to satifify others which their abuser instilled in her in order to control her. Catra knows all this and is right to assert that Adora's attempts at being She-ra in s1-4 won't 'fix' anything... and that she'd just continue to get hurt if she went with Adora. So, Catra puts being with Adora on pause and does what she feels she must do to persist- before rejoining Adora in s5 once their most dangerous enemy discovers them all, and helps Adora to chose survival, too.

Adora's view point, in short, is self defeating and pretty nihilistic, whereas Catra's really isn't- she is trying to live when everyone else, Adora included, seems to want her dead.

You cannot really be selfish in demanding to live- life is sacred, and Catra has respect for her sacred right to live that we all have. If people tell you to die for the narrative, as Adora tries to do, what's right is to reject it. Catra is the one who tells Adora not to die because she understands this fundamental truth. Catra shows that sometimes violently rejecting other people's control, if they're trying to kill you, is what's right. And yes, she does take it too far in s1-4, but it's all part of the story of how she surivies long enough to get past her trauma in order to be able to help Adora in s5.

Her understanding of survival is so important to share with Adora because that's where she's strongest yet Adora is weakest... It's also true that Catra understands love much better than Adora, we see that in her love confession, but her telling Adora she's got her love to live for isn't all she does to save her. She also instructs Adora on the wisdom of what it means to fight while respecting your own right to live. Catra, who was told by Shadow Weaver that her life had no value and should just give up and die, knows very well what it means to fight while never giving up.

Catra's words "you've never given up on anything, not even on me" are so important because she's telling Adora not to die like her enemies want her to do, while simultaneously paying respect to Adora's newfound heroic path, telling Adora that she believes in the hero Adora's trying to be. In this moment, Catra knows Adora must chose her right to live, that which is her sacred right, or they are all doomed, and that Adora isn't seeing that choice as the fundamental right that it is. She knows Adora is expecting to sacrifice herself, which she's doing out of guilt.

Catra's words instead help to show Adora how not giving up fundamental right to life is the right choice- she starts by acknowledging how Adora is fighting for the right reasons- such as her mentioning that Adora never gave up on her and returned to save her from Horde Prime- a decision shows that Adora is a true hero. A true hero does not rationalize away someone's death as necessary when they know the person about to die has goodness in them, Adora saw that truth behind Catra's actions, so her rescuing Catra was right. It was a breakthrough moment for Adora, nevermind that she needed to save Catra for the sake of the love they had for each other before Shadow Weaver tried to break each of them...

But, if you know you're fighting for the right reasons, then you must insist on living to prove it through your actions- you can't die to noble sacrifice. Because operating under that belief is a form of weakness. Adora's constantly doing this means she's inherently weak, and all while the world that Adora wants, one that's right and just, can come true- but only if Adora chooses to survive in order to prove it. She has to continue being She-ra. Survival is necessary, because without it there can be no better tomorrows. It's not wrong to want to survive.

So with these words Catra is telling Adora to survive- Catra survived many close calls with death leading up to this moment so that she can tell Adora how to not to give up and die. Through her experience of surviving, Catra finds a way to save Adora from her own self defeating beliefs.

Catra in s5 is a person who's prepared to be her better self- she's processed her trauma to get past it, and is seeing that survival cannot be the only answer to living, you've also got to have something to live for. And that's loving Adora. So after all of that, Catra is not going to let Adora fail, falling to the self destructive habits their abuser instilled in her, and instead shows Adora the way past it all. As the person in the relationship that who's processed her trauma. You have worth. We all have worth! And believing that isn't selfish.

So, it had to be both things, not just Catra telling Adora she's in love with her and she's got that to live for. Adora also has to choose to survive.

So there was no simple answer because of the depth of the problems facing Etheria. They are being lead by princesses who are naive, self involved and ignorant- something Adora blindly devotes herself to. Catra refusing to go along with Adora is a big part of her getting past that misguided framework to be a real hero who can save the universe and stop the cycles of violence for good. And ,if Catra had gone with her? It almost certainly would have resulted in the destruction of Etheria when Light Hope manipulated Adora into activating the heart while having no idea of the consequences. No simple answers- because the princesses are not right in their ways, never mind that the Horde brang war upon them.

The strength of Catra's belief in choosing survival is what leads her to being able to guide Adora past her self destructive nature to save the universe.

When Catra kisses her thus imbuing her with he power of love, we see Adora transformed into someone fundamentally stronger, she's the embodiment of goddess lesbian power that we love. Why Adora becomes so much more powerful is because she is now fighting with an understanding of both parts of what it means to fight from a true position of strength:

To fight while insisting on your sacred right to live,

And to fight with something to live for and the belief that your morals are good and must go forward. Only when you do both can you be your most powerful- you have to have enough respect for yourself to believe you deserve to live!

Adora understood the second point to a degree, but not the first. She was never going to be a complete hero without Catra showing her how to value herself. Now knowing both lessons, Adora is a stronger She-ra than any before her- and is one that can stop the cycle of violence for good.

Catra's story as a message to people like us who survived-

In s5, what we're seeing is a fully emotionally realized Catra, a person who has matured and surpassed her traumas and has gained the wisdom and clarity needed to save Adora, by sharing these hard learned lessons with her. And, we only get to see a fully realized Adora after Catra shares these truths with her- an Adora who can finally step past the trauma thinking their abuser instilled in her.

S5 Catra proves to us that she's this person over and over, she's reclaimed that she must trust in love, yet I still see people doubt her. People sometimes say Catra's transformation in s5 was rushed, but it really wasn't- if you consider how after Etheria's magic showed her the dark truth behind it all, then Catra was in a position to choose the better path- after going through the worst and seeing the truth for what it is. This is her therapy- it's the truth that she's shown by Etheria that gives her the choice to see past her trauma.

Catra's story is a tribute to knowing that if you're in a dark place where you've been hurt like Catra was- know that not giving up is what's right, know that you have a scared right to live, and that your abusers are wrong. Keep fighting, keep believing. Sometimes that fighting will get ugly. But, this attitude she shares with Adora, of never giving up, it allows her to be the all powerful lesbian goddess we love her as. Nate is telling us to not give up- through Catra's story and further showing us how this wise and mature Catra has the strength to help Adora past her trauma as well. He's also telling us to not give up on love. It's one of the most brilliant narrative arcs of all time!

Trust in Catra! Trust in your sacred right to living! Huzzah!

But we're not done explaining Catra's actions, are we? Let's talk about the wrongness of war she's leading on Etheria...

Yes, war is always wrong, but here's what I meant earlier when I said the war on Etheria isn't quite what we expect-

It is, I believe, the canonical truth that Catra did not preside over a army that was committing genocide- one of the most common criticisms of SPOP. But, how is it possible this story is different from the other war stories we're been constantly fed (such as ATLA)? Simply put: it's because Hordak's army had no need to commit genocide.

Do you really think Nate would wants us to skip over this catching point? No, instead Nate decided to cleverly sidestep this issue.

In SPOP, there's never any direct evidence of Hordak's army doing as such, yet we're shown in all explicitness that Horde Prime and the First Ones ARE genocidal. Who were the real enemies all along. That's important. Why Hordak's army doesn't gun down civilians is because the villagers in SPOP never fight in the war, they never ever raise arms against him. It's the Princesses who fight, and furthermore this is reinforced when we see that most of the anger the villagers voice is directed towards the Princesses, not the Horde.

Genocide is mostly motivated out of two factors- one: hatred and racism- let's just say that simply doesn't exist on Etheria. But the second reason is to remove the others side ability to fight back- if everyone's dead, there can be no uprisings. But, the villagers never fight. So, Hordak's army had no need of shoot-to-kill orders.

Contrast this to Horde Prime and the First Ones explicit genocidal intentions, add in the villagers anger not being directed at the Horde but instead at the Princesses for abandoning them to war, and you've got the full story behind how the war was being fought.

Assuming Hordak's army was gunning down civilians is instead a presumption carried over from other stories, but Nate set us up to expect that then subverted the expectation by showing no such thing- and by showing the real enemies explicit genocidal thinking, was asking us to look deeper. SPOP is a show which subverts our presumptions at every turn in order to make a better story. This certainly doesn't absolve Catra of being wrong, but I think we should understand that she's wasn't directing a genocide- I don't think she was capable of doing that.

Catra actions are in no way perfect and we're not supposed to think they are, but I really think Nate intentionally did this so that this catching point would not detract from the overall narrative:

Which is to say that the way Adora tries to be She-ra in s1-4 was never going to 'fix' anything, she's a proof of the flawed heroes stories we saw too often growing up. Victory would be miraculous and not explained, always dues ex machina, and unsatisfying. In SPOP, Adora goes through actual character growth to become the person who can change the world, and she doesn't do it alone. Catra's love is what shows her the way to be better, and it's not easily earned or miraculously given- they struggle to understand and accept each other. And that makes for a much more satisfying conclusion, with a kiss that's so believable that I don't expect to see a more meaningful kiss in media for the rest of my life. Thank you, Nate.

Thanks for reading. I hope I did an ok job discussing a very sensitive topic. This has been the hardest thing I've ever written.

::psps: this isn't the tell all for this theory, it could probably use its own discussion post so let me know your questions.

If you enjoyed it, let me know with a like and please pass it along with a reblogg if you can! We writers really appreciate them most of all because of how tumblr works! Thanks a ton.

Thanks again,

-EtheriaDearie

PS:S: Happy Pride and Nimona release tomorrow!! Yay!! 🏳️‍🌈🥳

[fantasyinvader]

I’ve noticed a few more Buddhist things in Three Houses.

Byleth’s backstory.

When the man who we become Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) was born, it’s said that he was foretold to either be a great king or a great religious leader. His father, desiring the former, gave him a life of excess. But when  Siddhartha ventured outside of the palace for the first time, seeing old age, disease and death for the first time it made him want to find the answer to suffering. So he became a monk, giving up everything but finding no answers. He eventually began working on a more moderate outlook, not giving into either extreme, that led to him becoming the Buddha.

Now you look at Byleth, the kid of a knight and a nun. When Sitri died, Jeralt distrusted the Church and Rhea, fleeing while also deciding Byleth should have nothing to do with the Church as far as he could help it. He picked the military path for Byleth, but his way of doing so denied Byleth pretty much of everything. Byleth became the Ashen Demon, something Byleth does not like, and it was by joining the Church that they began to develop emotions and real connections for the first time in their life. But then Edelgard starts her war, causing Byleth to pick a side.

The fact Fodlan doesn’t have a golden ending seems to echo the idea of moderation. We as the player can’t have everything, so we must choose. But at the same time, choosing Edelgard goes against the noble eightfold path. It’s Byleth letting their attachment to her altering their judgement into not making the right choice. As I’ve said in the past, Edelgard is supposed to represent the temptations that Mara sent to prevent Buddha from reaching Nirvana which ties into SS’s save icon/the game’s Fire Emblem as well as Epimenides talking about preserving the cycle of the world much like Mara was doing (though in Mara’s case, it’s so people remain in a cycle of suffering).

Byleth either lets Edelgard go, or they help Edelgard create suffering. Creating suffering is very immoral in Buddhism, not to mention lying and deceiving others, is Edelgard’s path is called the Path of the Animal in the Japanese text. Very telling she works with TWSITD to literally turn people into mindless monsters, while Nemesis’s era was described as an era where people murdered and stole in order to increase their own power following his example.

But in general, Byleth’s shitty upbringing is meant to draw a parallel to Buddha. Byleth went through a period of having nothing, much like Buddha did except it came first in an attempt by their father to keep them away from the Church. Byleth will always become the spiritual leader of Fodlan bar CF/Hopes, while Byleth just being a spiritual leader (Azure Moon) is ending where the most characters can live. It’s the ending with the least suffering.

Meanwhile, Edelgard’s claims that her actions will lead to more people being happy in the future? Her actions are still meant to be immoral, because she’s causing the people to suffer. She’s robbing people of their humanity through her lies and manipulations, leading to an Imperial army that will often be out of control in the Japanese endings to Flower as they go to other countries to do things. Her willingness to sacrifice as many people as it takes to make the future she wants IS NOT meant to be a good thing.

Likewise, Dimitri going on to punish the Empire post-Gleam isn’t meant to be good either, nor is… anything done by Wildfire Claude. And while Rhea’s reasons for incorporating the false history are understandable, it’s still considered wrong under Buddhism because it was spreading a falsehood therefore Claude revealing the truth post-Wind is meant to be virtuous.

The fact the Japanese version names Flower Safflower, meaning attraction, while the major poison/flame of that route is attachment holds a lot of meaning.

And yeah, Sitri being the body intended for Sothis aka the body of the Goddess, would also make Byleth a Jesus-figure on top of being the Buddha. Hell, considering that the Dalai Lama drew parallels to Buddha and Jesus, even arguing Jesus had a higher state either through Enlightenment or being a Bodhisattva, makes it feel like this was intentional. Byleth is a fusion of Western and Eastern beliefs.

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

alright so a while ago you got an ask about open palm spirit monk as inquisitor and you said you'd talk about how they get along with the companions/advisors so 🔪🔪🔪 tell us pls

Alright, time to dig into this. I'll do this over the course of a few posts, because there's way too many people for this post to be a reasonable length if I included them all. So for this post, I'm going to talk about how the Spirit Monk interacts with the advisors. - Mod Alistair

Leliana: Leliana starts off extremely distrustful of the Spirit Monk. Not because she thinks they killed Justinia the way Cassandra does, but because it is painfully obvious to her that the Spirit Monk is foreign to any nation of Thedas that she has encountered, obvious in ways that it isn't obvious to most of everyone else. They're an unknown in almost every way possible.

But Leliana recognizes honesty when she sees it, and the Open Palm Spirit Monk is incredibly honest. They're honest when they help around Haven and later Skyhold, they're honest with their preference to rely on diplomatic means as opposed to military or subterfuge, and they are extremely honest in how they interact with people.

The Spirit Monk sees similarities to Sagacious Zu in how Leliana acts, and finds comfort in it. Though they hadn't always agreed with his view of the world, they had liked Zu, and kept his memory close to their heart still. It leads them to try and help Leliana come to terms with her guilt and self-loathing.

In time, with the Spirit Monk balancing a willingness to do what's necessary for the greater good with maintaining their morals as best as possible, and Leliana resolving to help them accomplish that, they become fairly good allies. Leliana isn't certain that she'd call the Spirit Monk an outright friend, but she's willing to admit that they could be, and sometimes, she likes listening in on when they're telling people stories of their homeland, and relishing in the wonder she feels.

Josephine: Josephine also carries a level of wariness for the Spirit Monk when she first meets them, as similarly to Leliana, she recognizes how different they are from anyone she's encountered in Thedas. But that wariness is easily counterbalanced by her curiosity in the distant Empire the Spirit Monk hails from, and she quickly strikes up a relationship with them based on learning of their homeland.

It helps that the Open Palm Spirit Monk is, despite all their skill and genuine brilliance when it comes to matters of battle and war, a lover of peace who prefers diplomacy first at all times. They quickly come to understand Josephine's diplomatic expertise, and pick her brain about every social interaction taken for granted by people who grew up in Thedas. Despite their honesty, the Spirit Monk is very much capable of being tactful, rather than simply blurting out the truth at all times, a skill which Josephine is grateful for.

Josephine quickly understands that inviting angry and doubtful people to meet with the Spirit Monk in person will sway them far better, as the warrior's quiet thoughtfulness and calm attitude help assuage all but the most ardently bigoted. On the other side, Josephine's earnest desire to hear about their homeland helps the Spirit Monk with their homesickness, almost as much as speaking with Iron Bull. Their quiet view of her is that she possesses the same intrinsic understanding of words that they do of combat, and feels quietly happy that in a world seemingly full of people wanting to go to war, this young woman is determined to work for peace.

Cullen: Cullen and the Spirit Monk circle each other warily for their entire time knowing each other. The Spirit Monk is an unknown warrior who doesn't fight like anything Cullen's seen, they have no knowledge or interest in the Maker (they're curious but not interested in worshiping, which is the same thing in Cullen's mind), they're friendly to mages, and worst of all, they're revealed to be a mage.

So while they work together decently enough on military matters, the two never truly get along. It doesn't help that while Cullen speaks a lot of regrets and wishing things were different, the Spirit Monk quickly realizes that Cullen's view on the world is one they have absolutely no interest in. Cullen's willingness to work with child murderers and his willingness to be a child murderer solidifies a level of disgust in the Spirit Monk.

Cullen's disdain for other peoples and cultures does nothing to endear him to the Spirit Monk, to say nothing of his staunch dehumanization of mages. The Spirit Monk's view of the Chantry and the templars wanting to impose their will and worship on the rest of the world is a negative one. Attempting to force control of a god only ever ends in horrors.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

I feel like despite what we've said about Huntsmen in the past, that the series is actually steadily skewering the Huntsmen system and what it represents in the overarching narrative.

Volume 1 to 3 presents us with an idealized image of what a huntsman is: A protector of the people and guardian.

But Volume 4 - 8 shows us the serious flaws of that system, and how it can be argued that Atlas is one of the logical conclusions of that system if it were co-opted by the right (or in this case, wrong) powers or state.

The series shows Amity Colosseum being dedicated to the "unity" of the four (human) kingdoms, where everyone is fighting for the glory of the kingdom. Meanwhile it's revealed that the huntsmen's true purpose (outside of fighting Grimm) is to basically be Ozma and his secret society's soldiers in a forever war against a nebulous enemy, with specific self-sacrificing types like Ruby, Pyrrha, Penny being essentially groomed to fulfill certain roles that Ozma and those he works with because of their willingness to put everything on the line in the name of a greater good.

We also get the revelation of the fact that people like Cinder, Hazel, Ren, the Faunus, etc. fell through the cracks of that system, or who knew people who were negatively impacted because Huntsmen were simply not there. And this doesn't even cover the numerous examples of huntsmen who are shown to be wholly inadequate and who failed people through extortion or negligence, like Dee, Dudley, and Rhodes, never mind those who end up using their skills as huntsmen for selfish means like Raven.

And then there's Atlas.

It's easy to try to separate Atlas' co-opting of the huntsmen system into the military as being proof that the military and cops are bad, and that it's better for them to go back to being huntsmen, like what people suggested for Marrow to do. But the story explicitly highlights that there is a lot of overlap between how huntsmen function and how Atlas' military huntsmen work, like in how they're both unaccountable except only to specific types of powerful figures, with only the morality of the huntsmen in question being the deciding factor as to whether things work out or not. And we've seen what happens when immoral huntsmen get too much power, or regular people are stacked up against huntsmen who decide to be immoral, like Raven or Ironwood.

It's easy to see this as just an example of bad apples, and that there just needs to be "better" huntsmen, but we've seen just how much that sort of thing isn't really the case. Ruby and Team Remnant try so hard to be better huntsmen, but the sheer weight and pressure of what they're dealing with is shown to be too much for them to bear. Hell, even in the best scenarios small groups of huntsmen can only do so much.

Even when it works as intended, it has dire consequences. We've seen with Ren's backstory, everything that happened in Mantle and Atlas, how not only are the people wholly defenseless without a consistent huntsmen system to protect them, but that they seem to be set up in a way that shows them to be utterly dependent on protection. The huntsmen system may very well be intended to protect the people, but it's more akin to a patronizing "we are here to protect you, so you don't have to try to protect yourself".

And a lot of it boils down to how seriously flawed the system really is, because it was a system predicated and created on the biases and perspectives of the single-most self-sacrificing and chronically lone hero person in the series: Ozpin.

Ozma's early incarnation is portrayed as the ideal hero, and his role in the story is that of the Chosen One by the God of Light. And I think the failings of the huntsmen system are a narrative deconstruction of these facets. What happens when a single man with a death wish, a near religious fervor to upholding his mission from his God, and a healthy dose of being morally eroded over the course of millennia creates a system meant to help him fight against a being he deems the ultimate evil.

A system that fundamentally ends up being easily corrupted, twisted and cannibalizes itself because it was never a feasible system of protection to begin with. A system that renders the people who it's trying to protect dependent and defenseless, thus ironically ensuring that if the huntsmen fail, then they can't fend for themselves.

Ironically enough, there ARE examples of societies that HAS managed to succeed without the huntsmen system: namely, Menagerie. The FAUNUS society.

Their part of the world is supposedly set in the most hostile and dangerous part of the world, with 2/3rds desert and wildlife even more hostile than Vacuo. The place is a dumping ground intended by human societies to basically genocide the Faunus and get them out of the way.

And yet, they've managed to thrive. There's no indication of them suffering from Grimm the same way other societies have, and while it takes some doing, their solution to the Adam incident was to raise their own militia and take the fight to him.

And this is all done WITHOUT huntsmen, or the system.

I don't agree with everything here, but yeah, you raise some good points. Pretty much all of the ways the kingdoms handle Huntsmen have glaring flaws in them and while the four part group they're taught in schools does help, there's still a lot of work left to do.

[esther-dot]

About the Stark succession: Bran's claim is the strongest in actuality but he is presumed dead and a cripple, currently in a tree with no ongoing plans of returning. Rickon's claim is second, he has considerable support among the lords, but he is six. Jon has marital experience, is an 'adult', named the successor by Robb, probably will have as much or more support than Rickon, but all that is mute after his parentage is revealed. Sansa is almost an adult, (will have) the largest army, but has an unconsummated marriage to a Lannister hanging. Arya has second last/last claim whatever way you see it, and is on another continent rn, with assassins who might not be very willing to let her go, so she is the least involved in this succession crisis. As I see it, Rickon, Sansa and Jon are the only ones who will have supports backing their claims, they are also the ones who are returing home soon. Rickon is being retrieved from Skaagos Davos, Sansa is in a plot with Littlefinger to take back Winterfell, Jon died while trying to march on Winterfell. Its interesting to see where this will go.

I agree. It's really interesting to set up the factions, people who want to use the different Starks for their own ends, so I don't think it makes sense to focus so much on Sansa being disinherited or whatever it is people want to say about her claim when Martin has created supporting or detracting factors for each kid.

Knowing that in some form or fashion, Bran is king in the end, I think we have to assume that the Starks don't go at it like others and fight for their claims, but resolve this amongst themselves, remain loyal to each other, no matter what external forces demand as the outcome. I simply don't think thematically, they'd end up in positions of leadership otherwise. So, yes, there are pros and cons for each, but how the Starks navigate those will dictate their fates. And I think we more or less know their fates so 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot of people have pointed out what they see as punishment for ambitious women in the ASOIAF-verse, so it seems unlikely that Sansa would press her birthright at the expense of someone else’s, even if we didn't already have it written into her story that she doesn't perceive herself in that light, wouldn't pursue her claim for her own benefit. Perhaps Sansa’s willingness for Jon to be made king and her support of him rather than contesting it is the answer to other characters’ willingness to go to war rather than relinquish their claim.

If Bran is to rule in the end, he can't fight Jon over it even if Jon has been proclaimed KitN while he was presumed dead. And I know people want to use Rickon, but I think his age is a disqualifying factor considering the situation the North will find themselves in. Robb's Will means Jon has a lot going for him, except, the rumors, the deserting, the assassination, the question of loyalty in the aftermath of what he does post rez, the presence of all the FF...I feel like that's a lot to shrug off? There’s also his handling of the Karstark matter that we approve of, but characters may not. I have thought he’s meant to feel like a king of winter post rez, but for the characters, it seems like there are many things about Jon specifically that might create unease in the North no matter what the will says. Some fans speculate that Sansa will be in the Vale longer, some of us are dedicated to the idea that she goes North sooner, but whether it’s her or Rickon, there will also be a trueborn Stark kid around even if Arya and Bran don’t reunite with him anytime soon, and there’s plenty to make them preferable to some people.

We all love that Jon refused Winterfell when it was offered, it's a great moment for him, and I like the idea that he will refuse the crown and refuse pursuing a Targ claim, but if he accepts kingship (and there is a ton of king crap surrounding him so...), then I think it makes sense for him to self-exile in the end because post-parentage reveal, he'll feel like a usurper even if the Starks don't agree. Obviously, if a Jonsa marriage occurs as his way to right that wrong, all is well. (*holds up a sign saying “let my babies be happy!” outside Mr Martin’s window*)

I don't know, when I look at the story there seem to be turning points that demand very different fallout. Confusing!

[problemswithbooks]

Just one small thing- "inaction". Shoto told Endeavor willingness doesn't mean enough without action. And he fails that too. I think everything changed since when Horikoshi had him contradict himself by saying the rain slows him down or maybe it was set in stone ever since the resolution of the war and the hospital. Because they took the first step for him so Endeavor has been lagging from the start. Rei is the true hero who moves own while Endeavor is pathetic and the root of all issues alone.

Yeah, I know that's what the text said, but why is that?

If the entire point of this side plot was to continue to have Enji fail and be shown up by his family why bother to spend so much time on Enji at all? Yet, if he's supposed to change by the end and step up, why have him never get the opportunity to actually do anything?

Enji is not a real person--he is a character being written by a person. He is not inactive because he chooses to be, no, Hori wrote it this way for a reason, and so far the only one I can find is because he thought having Enji do anything past inner monologues would strip Shoto and the family's moment in helping Touya, or take away from his final change of heart. Yet in doing so he has only made Enji's character worse, and caused some readers to think he hasn't changed at all.

And, again, it's said he's inactive in situations where that literally doesn't make sense. When he was with Izuku and the other Heroes they were specifically looking for the LoV and any leads to find them or AfO. If they had leads on Touya, even if Enji didn't want to go after him, the other Heroes and Izuku would have persuaded him regardless. On top of that Shoto says he had to learn Phosphor in the short time between the first War and second, so even if Enji had searched for Touya with him, they wouldn't have had a counter for him.

Hori only presented him as avoiding Shoto so the kids didn't have a way to find Izuku and could confront the adults in a dramatic moment.

Also Enji only looks bad in contrast with the rest of the todofam because he's the only one acting like a person. None of the others have any issues or conflicted feelings about Touya after the reveal. Enji is the only one that actually has human emotions about such a life changing event. Shoto in particular has been reduced to a shadow of his former self and is now just the 'Family Hero' who has zero negative feelings for a brother who he has no good memories of and who has nearly killed his friends and leveled Japan with the LoV.

As for being the true Hero while Enji is pathetic, that's not true and I don't think 388 is saying that from what I've seen. Enji didn't continue to fight AfO once Touya showed up or leave him to the other hundred or so Heroes on site. Like Rei he saw him and engaged him, and did the best he could to lead him away because he didn't want to attack him which would have killed Touya faster.

Enji is also not the root of all issues in the family; if he was Rei wouldn't feel the need to apologize to Touya. Yes, Enji is the most at fault, but Rei made mistakes to. She knew going in what a Quirk marriage was and agreed to marry Enji anyway. Yes, her options were limited but she never showed any discomfort with the idea of having kids for the purpose of legacy--probably because that was the same thing her family had been doing for centuries.

Again, this is a story written by a person, and Hori has the one that decided Enji wasn't allowed to do more, probably because he felt it'd takes away from the final climactic ending of this sub plot.

*ps, I'm almost 100% positive Enji was slow in the rain so Izuku got to fight Lady Nagant alone. Both because it gave Izuku a win, and because she would have been incredibly ineffectual against multiple opponents being a sniper. Not because it's trying to show him not trying. There was no reason for him to avoid that fight since Touya wasn't there.

[astrxlfinale]

❝ you’re plotting something, aren’t you? come on then - out with it. ❞

There's a stark clarity that carried Caelus with the passing days. A sense of growth? Acceptance and sorrow intertwined? It would be hard to glean, but there was a force uprooted and tempered within that glamorous den of decadence. His time in renewing his preparations upon the Express. Either digging deep in newly learned archives, training, or eating as if survival was a goal compared to the experience itself.

If Dan Heng were to note any of the main group's expressions around the Trailblazer, there would be silent signs of understanding, firmness as they were in the process of formulating decisions of their own. The overall allure of the halls were now being sharpened by the renewed war march of the Nameless. They were now holding experiences to fight for. It'd lead to a shared moment with the training hall, a place where the meticulous and lethal motions of Caelus's martial mastery was being fine polished.

So was it a surprise when the collected voice of a good friend met him? Not in the least.

Caelus instead found relief in just how-- in truth, he doesn't know how to coin it. Change would be the best descriptor. There was a certain measure of peace leveled in how the spearman conducts himself, a willingness to be a touch more open overall, loyal to those that stuck with him through particularly grim days. It's what promoted him to pause the next inward jab that would've sent the semi-real hologram into smeared bits and bytes against the wall.

In and out. The steam pressing from his lungs carried memories. "Yeah. Twisting Penacony's damn neck until it rings all of those damn secrets out."

"People are hurtin' down there, Credits are keepin' secrets, not to mention the IPC our good damn friends are making a new round down there too! As if that shoddy as hell Family weren't out here tryin' to tape a breaking damn with fuckin' band-aids practically made from people's souls!"

....

"Yeah, I'm sure as hell plotting, and I'm going to need your help again. We've got Emanators running down there." That alone should incur the weight of what was happening. Akin to a nuclear hotspot, all sorts of dangerous potentials, themselves included, were all centered and floating around some lethal gravity. The Watchmaker's Legacy was boiling down to an arm's race, and Death at this point was looking like an odd friend.

So why was there this measure of excitement glowing in his eyes? Despite the remnant hints of a Stellaron lurking, despite the veritable spin of learning who to trust, what holds steady in this tide is his brand of tenacity.

"We're gonna need a little back up, I'm talkin' Phantylia level in scale. Since I'm in the mood for devouring this nightmare to reveal the truth. And I think we have the means to do that."

"I ain't the type to pull a guy from his vacation for somethin' wild. You really want to be involved in this man?"

For at the end of the day, a golden value that this Nameless will always carry is the weight of choice.

@jueying

[subublog]

Aries Horoscope 2023 Reveals Your Fate!

Are you an Aries seeking celestial guidance for your day? Look no further! In this context piece, we'll delve into the Aries horoscope today, explore what tomorrow holds, and even glimpse into Aries' cosmic journey in 2023. Let's embark on a starry adventure together.

Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, represents the fiery spirit and unbridled enthusiasm that characterises those born between March 21 and April 19. Ruled by Mars, the planet of energy and action, Aries individuals are known for their boldness, leadership qualities, and unrelenting determination

Aries Personality Traits

In astrology, each zodiac sign is assigned one of three modalities: cardinal, fixed, or mutable. A sign's modality helps us understand how people best express themselves. The Aries modality is cardinal. People born with a cardinal modality are known for being traditional, reasonable, and natural-born leaders.

Beyond their incredible leadership skills, Rams have a number of great characteristics. Here are the most important Aries traits to know.

Positive Aries Personality Traits

With a zodiac sign ruled by Mars, the god of war, it's little surprise that Rams are known for being brave and tenacious. Aries signs are pioneers—they're the ones you call on to boldly go where none have gone before. Their fearlessness and courageousness make them the ideal people for trying new experiences, taking big risks, and breaking new ground.

Aries' fire element is responsible for their energetic nature, passion, and creativity. Being first in the zodiac means that people born under this sign aren't tied down with concerns about the past. An Aries is full of optimism and unbridled hope, making them highly generous and eager to help those in need, just so they can put a smile on people's faces.

Negative Aries Personality Traits

As Rams are always battle-ready, people born under the Aries sign can have quite the temper. While it should fizzle out quickly, Rams still need some time to come down from their outbursts. Steer clear until they do, or else you might find yourself the target of their rage.

The energy and courage that make Aries such a great leader can be dangerous when coupled with blind optimism. An Aries will play to win but might not always take the time to assess the risks and turbulence they could face in a given task.

The same courage that enables an Aries to take on a new situation or task can become reckless if it isn't channelled correctly. Because Rams don't think about the consequences of their actions, they often end up feeling overwhelmed and learning lessons the hard way when things don't go as expected.

Finally, Aries signs are known for being overly competitive and seeing everything as if it were a fierce fight to the death. So be prepared for the wrath of a Ram who's about to lose—they're likely to be a poor sport and let their fiery temper take control!

Aries Traits in Relationships

Aries might be a capricious sign, but Rams are no doubt fun, energetic, and magnanimous people who can make excellent friends, partners, and coworkers. Here's a look at some of the most prominent Aries characteristics in romantic, platonic, and professional relationships.

Romantic

That fire element comes through big time with Aries in love. In relationships, Rams are not afraid to jump in head first and are most definitely not shy about expressing their feelings. Their fearlessness means that they can be very romantic and passionate without concern for the consequences. 

That said, an Aries in love can be a wonderful thing. Given their sense of adventure and willingness to take risks, you'll never be bored dating an Aries. And because they're often outspoken, there's a pretty good chance that you'll never have to worry about where you stand with a Ram.

The bottom line: if an Aries asks you to be their date to the school dance, say yes!

Platonic

Rams are very loyal to family and friends, even if they don't always reach out regularly. But the more fiery Aries traits can sometimes make it tricky to maintain stability in their relationships.

In families, Aries children are known for being active and assertive, traits that can cause them to butt heads with their peers and exhaust their parents. As such, parents of young Rams must learn early on how to discipline and deal effectively with their child's tantrums and rebellious nature.

As parents themselves, Rams are loving, selfless, and devoted to their children; however, they can also be overly protective and quick to punish.

When it comes to friendship, it's easy for Aries to make lots of friends. That said, Rams won't bother holding onto friends who don't respect them (or others). They also like constant stimulation and spontaneity in their friendships, and if those needs aren't being met, they'll go ahead and start looking for new people to hang out with.

Professional

When it comes to the workplace, the natural leadership abilities of an Aries can be a tremendous asset. These are the people who will take on a new project with an infectious enthusiasm. Their innate intelligence and quick-thinking ways make them the kind of people you can trust to handle any setbacks along the way.

Aries people are also great for team dynamics. Rams are full of spontaneity that can keep the workday from becoming tedious and help bring shy coworkers out of their shells. Their generosity and willingness to help others makes them approachable.

Although the outspoken Aries might lack some tact on occasion, their optimism and ability to carry the team to new heights will more than make up for it.

Advice for Aries

Being a leader—being first—is usually important to those born under this sign. If you're an Aries, you could try tapping into those leadership skills by joining a school club or sports team. Your teammates will benefit from your enthusiasm and drive, and you'll have a structured environment in which to thrive.

If sports aren't your thing, try looking into volunteering somewhere. Your innate generosity and optimism will fit in perfectly with organisations in need of good people willing to help out. 

Since Rams are often temperamental, it's recommended that you work hard on finding ways to calm yourself and control your anger. Meditation, breathing, and yoga are a few options you have for gaining control of your quick fuse and learning how to remain calm in difficult situations.

How to Relate to the Aries in Your Life

If you're a friend or partner of an Aries, try letting them take the lead on planning an activity or date. The adventurous Aries wants to know that you can keep up, so remember to be open-minded and flexible—who knows what magic you'll encounter!

Because Rams are such altruistic people, you'll find it easy to get to know an Aries over a volunteer activity. 

Games and sports are also a fun way to get an Aries excited (though be sure to watch out for their competitive streak!). This zodiac sign has a lot of energy to expend and is willing to try almost anything, so don't be afraid to invite them out to engage in a bit of friendly (or flirty) competition.

What's Next?

Aries Horoscope Today:

Today, the universe aligns in your favour, aries horoscope. The stars foretell a day filled with energy, ambition, and opportunity. Your dynamic nature shines brightly, making it an ideal time to tackle challenges head-on. Whether it's work-related tasks or personal goals, your determination will fuel your success.

When it comes to love, the aries horoscope today suggests that your passion and charm will be hard to resist. If you're single, keep an open heart; love may surprise you when you least expect it. For those already in a relationship, deepen the connection through honest communication and spontaneity.

Aries Horoscope Tomorrow:

Tomorrow holds exciting prospects for aries horoscope tomorrow. The stars indicate a day brimming with creativity and innovation. Don't hesitate to explore new ideas and ventures. Your ability to adapt will be your greatest asset, allowing you to seize opportunities as they arise.

In matters of the heart, the tomorrow aries horoscope encourages you to nurture your relationships. Show appreciation for your loved ones and cherish the moments you share. Trust your instincts, and you'll find that love and harmony follow suit.

Aries Horoscope 2023:

Looking ahead to aries horoscope 2023, Aries, a transformative journey awaits you. The stars predict a year of self-discovery and personal growth. Embrace change and be open to new experiences; they will shape your path toward success.

In the realm of aries horoscope today love, 2023 promises to be a time of deep emotional connections. Whether you're single or partnered, your heart will lead you to meaningful relationships. Trust your intuition and allow love to flourish.

Aries Horoscope Today in Vogue:

According to today's aries horoscope today vogue, your dynamic personality is on full display. Embrace the energy of the day and take on challenges with confidence. In matters of the heart, let your passion shine and captivate those around you.

Today's Aries Horoscope:

In today aries horoscope , the stars have an intriguing message for you. Your assertive nature takes the centre stage, paving the way for successful endeavours. Use your energy wisely, and you'll conquer challenges effortlessly. In matters of the heart, a fiery passion ignites, making it an excellent time to express your emotions.

Aries Horoscope Today Astrology

When it comes to aries horoscope today astrology, you're in for a treat. Astrologers decode the positions of celestial bodies to provide you with valuable insights. In today's  aries horoscope forecast emphasises your leadership abilities and encourages you to take the lead in your endeavours. Expect positive interactions and a boost in your personal magnetism.

Aries Horoscope This Week:

Looking beyond today, Aries, let's explore what the week has in store. An aries horoscope this week predicts a period of dynamic change. Embrace new opportunities and be open to collaborations; they'll bring you closer to your goals. Stay alert to unexpected surprises, as they may lead to significant breakthroughs.

Aries Horoscope - Aries Daily:

For those seeking daily aries horoscope - aries daily insights, our Aries daily horoscope provides a concise overview. It reminds you to trust your instincts, seize opportunities, and maintain your fiery spirit. The day holds great potential for growth, both personally and professionally.

Aries Horoscope Weekly:

If you prefer a broader perspective, the aries horoscope weekly offers a comprehensive view of the week ahead. It advises you to maintain balance in all areas of life and prioritise self-care. As you navigate the week, remember that your energy is your greatest asset.

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movies I just watched: July 2023

Independence Day I know, this doesn't count on paper. But a 90s big budget pastiche of War of the Worlds or Earth vs the Flying Saucers is still a pastiche of the type of movie that fit right in with a classic monster movie marathon. Besides, for anyone who says this isn't like a horror movie at all, I have two words for you; "Release me..."

Anyways, yeah there's not even anything I can say about this that hasn't already been said. Right around when this movie came out and was then syndicated on TV every 4th of July, My 7 year old mind thought it was the most intense movie ever. Nowadays, it feels optimistic to a fault, at least when it comes to humanity's capability and willingness to be our best selves and actually work together. It's become more hard to believe then any of the actual plot holes. (though good luck creating a virus that can infect computers more advanced then ours today even) Now it kinda holds up today for different reasons. Will Smith becoming a megastar from this movie remains entirely justified. Classic Goldblum performance. Melodrama that actually works for the stakes we're playing with. It's become comfort food. With a side of mass genocide and some cultural stereotypes. (And yet I've still seen worse in films like this).

I haven't seen the sequel and from what I've heard, I'm not missing much.

Nanny(2022) This movie, at different points, felt like a cross between His House, Jacob's Ladder, and even The Orphanage. If I can't speak for anything else in this movie, feeling it drew inspirations from multiple different films make it solid in my book.

I will add, while it could've gone the Get Out route as we could've expected (and it so easily could've) of making the white employers the source of the supernatural horror, it was refreshing that it went against that. Sure, the terrible reveal at the end is still pretty much their fault by delaying paying Aisha so many times, it is something caused by mundane means, at least as far as we know. White people are terrifying enough in a realistic setting, with the horrid status imbalance with the characters (and in general). Giving them a ghost or demon or something to foist upon people when it's not needed can be a bit too complimentary.

The Black Phone I originally wasn't going to watch this because Ethan Hawke's serial killer villain came off too much "gay coded" to me, especially uncomfortable when you take into account all his victims are young boys. I did read an article almost a year ago from someone who identified as lgbtqia+ (I don't remember as what though, seriously I can't find it again so I can't credit it. I am so sorry!), who had similar reservations but then saw it eventually only to realize this choice was based much more on the character being a stage magician and is not sexually motivated in his killings at all. But you could make the argument that it was that easy to mistake it for gay slander at all is a strike against the filmmakers. Please don't be this obtuse next time when it comes to marketing your movie.

Even that put aside, I'm sad to say I didn't get much from this. Want to see The Silence of the Lambs where instead of Clarice and Hannibal, it's a foul mouth little girl talking to Jesus about how she sees the dead zone? Okay, that isn't fair because Gwen is honestly the most entertaining character. Plus it's less glorifying the police department. But I couldn't bring myself to care about Finn because I felt his circumstances throughout felt, oddly enough, too clean. Not to mention, how his scenes imprisoned by the Grabber compared to Katherine in Lambs. Even when you don't know how ready Buffalo Bill is to kill her, you feel urgency just from how miserable she looked and acted in those scenes. Not to mention, a well is way more claustrophobic and scary then a basement that's frankly bigger then my own bedroom.

I've heard this described as, despite the R rating, to be more of a kids gateway horror film when it comes to this subject matter. And yeah, strangely enough that actually would make a lot of sense. I'm just used to the more graphic stuff it seems.

Haunted Mansion Good ole' goofy haunted house movie for the whole family. Sounds like a joke, but it's true and I mean it as a compliment. I know some people would want this to be more intense, considering that the ride is arguably the darkest product ever created by the Disney company. But remember, guys? It's Disney! I'm surprised Constance was allowed in at all. Though I did miss the Ghost Host's hanging body. Bonus points though, for the theme of grief making it hard to keep on living so while you need to grow from it, it's natural if you don't want to move on from your pain yet. Sometimes living, or haunting, in a haunted mansion for a while could be where you need yourself to be.

There are really only two problems. First, the Morbius-shaped elephant in the room. Though given how much CGI he's under the whole time (aside from a few photographs, we never see his actual face), he honestly could've been played by anyone. Hell, get an old character actor known for horror in his place instead. Sure, it's less "star power" (if you could call it that), but you probably could spare some expense in making him spooky and wouldn't have scared off some people rightfully turned off from seeing the a hole anyway.

Speaking of more or less people seeing this, that's the other problem. Others on here have pointed it out and I will too. Why was this being in July?! I don't even need to tell this is going to flop, just from looking at Barbie's numbers, plus the Ninja Turtles. If any movie released this year was made for October, it's this one, not the Exorcist sequel. Even if they didn't have faith in it, they're more likely to get the most amount of money back for it in a time people are willing to watch something spooky in theaters, especially if they have kids who can't stomach Saw X or the Exorcist: Believer.

But I think some of us know why they did it. A lot of these studios, including Disney, are willing to jump the gun to release a movie to streaming once it's clear it's not doing well in theaters. The excuse they'll probably use is that they'll release it to Disney+ just in time so you can play it in the background when the kids come back from trick-or-treating. And granted, it is a film just fine for playing for that purpose.

But no! It's likely the actual reason is to screw the filmmakers, particularly the writers and actors, out of money they would get from this because they're striking right now. So yeah, I want to end this month's post by saying I support both strikes; I think the guild's are entirely in their rights with their demands and I hope they get everything. No one, no matter what their chosen profession or industry, deserves to make less of what is needed to make a living, just so some billionaire who's only contribution to the storytelling process is to move money, can have a yacht. Don't tell me you can't get the metrics on how many people watch the content in your streaming service. Or that it's ethical to use AI to replace a human performance you could've gotten anyway if you actually accommodate for other human beings.

[turnpage]

send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list

generator here quotes compiled from here inspired by

feel free to change to fit your preferences as need.

❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜

[space-oreos]

I.I.W.H.F.W.? Chapter 4

Summary:

You know about red strings, but have you heard about golden ones, those with a bond so strong fate could not ignore it.

Time could not weaken it, love and hatred could not divide it.

Only one’s willingness to accept that it is over, is when their tether to the bond came to an end, sometimes mistakenly leaving the other bound to them without notice.

You didn’t know?

Good, you weren’t supposed too.

Because you were one of the first to witness it.

Warnings: Things briefly mentioned/alluded to; blood, death, guns, kidnapping(?), War (Age of Ultron), Feel free to name any if I missed them

THE WARNINGS MENTIONED MAY NOT APPLY TO ALL CHAPTERS

Words: 1063

I am on a private plane to Slovakia. My team, on a public one with all first class tickets.

“So, I guess you’re wondering why you're here, and why I’m on a plane to Slovakia when I just could have flown in a suit, trust me, I’m questioning it too.”

Mr.Stark said to me like we were the only ones occupying the space, we weren't.

“But anyway, you’re here so we can go over the plans, and so you can explain everything to the people currently on board”

I turned. I saw two new faces.

Bruce Banner, had seven Phds, one of those being nuclear physics, he’s here presumably with his own team to help the injured and the ill.

Maria Hill, here to direct the shield agents outside of protecting us and to also conduct search and rescue teams in the areas we would stop in.

Everyone else I was already acquainted with.

As I looked I could not help but notice that Agent Romanoff's eyes kept drifting to the Doctor. The former also shifted in his seat and looked at his hands  like he was uncomfortable. The others in the room clearly knew something I didn’t, but they decided not to pay notice, and on that notion, neither did I.

Getting off the plane, someone grabbed my wrist.

Wanda. She smiled as I turned to her and she gently put my wrist down.

“I just wanted to say thank you, for agreeing to be in this project and for the plan. It means alot”

“You don’t have to thank me, if given the opportunity I would help anyone in need.”

She smiled at that.

Smile back

We got to the hotel, when the question of roommates arose, we were informed that we would each be sharing a room with a shield agent. 

I got Natasha Romanoff.

She was quiet, but so was I. There was no introduction, as that already happened a week ago, there was just silence, not awkward at least for me, but it was there.

Then she spoke.

“I’m guessing it was hard saying goodbye? How’d they handle it?”

I looked at her confused, she raised her eyebrow and  pointed to her right index finger.

Oh

“Oh, I haven’t found my soulmate yet, this is just a ring from my grandmother. Have you found yours?”

She looked down, almost like she was ashamed, maybe she was, I do not know.

“Yeah, I have”

Guessing it was hard to say goodbye? Huh

“Was the goodbye hard?”

She laughed, for something to be associated with joy hers sounded vacaint of the emotion.

“No, the hello was.”

What? 

Sometimes people find their soulmate too late, these unlucky folk not needing the windows to the soul to reveal the string, death being cruel enough to rub it in their face that their string now has a loose end. The string leading those few to someone's last breath.

I’ve only heard stories about it, about how the string not red but gray appears, how most people who have them are led to hospitals, houses, grieving families. Some not getting to know who was on the other end.

“I’m sorry to hear that, my condolences”

She looks at me with a tilted head, squinted eyes in confusion, then, realization hits.

“Oh, no, no. Their not dead, they came with us”

Oh, well, that was unexpected

We stare at each other, not knowing what to say. Well, I don’t at least, she apparently does.

“Are you excited to find yours?”

No

“No.”

Why’d you say that, you should’ve lied

“Oh, why?”

Don’t say it

“I don’t believe in soulmates.”

Idiot

We stared at each other, this time one of us clearly equipped with a mask.

“Oh.”

She walked out of the room.

Idiot, why would you say that? 

After the discovery of soulmates, and so many people being able to find them. Society embraced it. 

Ending up with the one fate handed to you seemed perfect, a fairy tale weaving its way into reality. The only ones who didn’t end up with their soulmate looked at with pity, isn't it shameful that one can’t be loved to the best of  love’s ability?

If it were written in the stars, it had to be right, right?

Those who didn’t believe in soulmates were looked at with disdain. Why tinker with strings of fate when it gave you something that everyone wanted? 

There were debates, conflicts, why not be with the one that was handed to you? 

This was seen as a moral conflict, one that affected someone's place in social groups.

It was ironic, seeing as divorce rates went down, but infidelity didn’t, neither did abuse rates. People still dated who they wanted, but if they weren’t the one, you were not expected to stay together. 

My opinion was not a popular one, those who did have it were few, and those who did have it, lied. Looks like Agent Romanoff was one of those who I didn’t share the opinion with, quite the opposite, actually.

I don’t know why I didn’t lie.

Maybe it was because of the vulnerability of the situation.

I learned that what was exchanged that night was a rare anomaly. Agent Romanoff rarely opened up to people, only talking in turn and to make reports.

Few knew anything past her title.

She was civil, only seen openly expressing things with Agent Barton and Mr.Stark, occasionally Agent Hill.

She was cold with me.

After what was said, we didn’t exchange many words, not that we had spoken much to begin with.

As the project progressed, Wanda Maximoff and I exchanged thoughts more, I learned she found her soulmate, Vision. She had a brother, Pietro, that died in the war, and that they were orphans. I also learned we had a 3 year age difference, her being younger at 24.

When she told me who Vision was, I was confused to say the least on how a robotic man could have a soul, she laughed at that, saying people asked that constantly and he did have one despite not being a fully genetic human.

Maria Hill spoke her thoughts too, on how she found her soulmate, them being on the opposing side of a mission that Maria was tasked with.

For something deemed written, fate truly was unpredictable.

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