#so we are celebrating by finally playing bg3

[cosmic--static]

celebrating the end of a semester and getting accepted into all 3 of the colleges I applied to 🥳

[cherryronpa]

finished one of my bg3 files where i just shamelessly recreated a danganronpa character and started drawing this around early december to celebrate but didn't finish until mid-january lmao

here's my first non-EA tav, kaede! she's a half-elf bard with autistic rizz off the charts, but like most of the men in the game could be outmuscled by boo. i imagined her being a baldurian travelling musician who while she still very much prefers the various pianos lying around the game world has a modified lyre that plays like one for when she's on the road to perform elsewhere, and had come back to baldur's gate to visit a close friend (shuichi) when she got abducted.

(how it ended under the cut because spoilers for the game)

her story didn't exactly end 'happy' - her autistic rizz pulled karlach and gale and she ultimately chose karlach (it also pulled wyll but she was well into karlach territory when it happened), and she did defeat raphael who was probably closer to her actual final boss than the netherbrain was (someone pointed out that raphael is mostly a bard but also Raphael's Final Act contains many instruments, but a piano is not among them).

unfortunately when it came for netherbrain fighting time, kaede was invested in githyanki liberation that was not at all influenced by lae'zel threatening to kill her if she didn't. the gang freed orpheus instead and while unsure at first, kaede eventually chose to make the sacrifice herself and become a mindflayer despite abstaining hard from tadpole usage. (honestly with her stubbornness i feel like it would be a VERY long time and a LOT of brains eaten before it even makes a dent in how she behaves)

lae'zel went on with orpheus to topple the rule of vlaakith, wyll wasn't the blade of avernus so he just kind of stayed in baldur's gate (we did save his dad but never found the dragon), gale returned the crown of karsus to mystra, astarion didn't ascend because of course kaede would be able to talk him out of doing so, shadowheart turned her back on shar and was reunited with her parents.

and as for karlach, kaede kind of couldn't stay in faerun very easily being a squid now (especially after what just happened) and had very little left, and karlach was obviously about to die and was about all she had left, so kaede made a split-second decision to convince karlach that they could both return to avernus and kick the shit out of zariel together. and then they did. shuichi gets a postcard commemorating the time his best friend (now a squid) and her girlfriend kicked the shit out of an archdevil

also i imagine she was extremely devastated about it until she found out that she specifically gets four fingers and a thumb with the mindflayer form and then was only mildly devastated because she could still shred on a piano

[mongoose-bite]

She's so beautiful. And yeah, I got her the Blood of Lethander, despite it taking ages, cause I couldn't find a battleaxe until someone told me there was one in front of the guardian. I had Gale use mage hand to grab it. Got the mace, left, remembered we'd used Shadowheart's mace to solve the puzzle and had to go back and retrieve it. I play BG3 like I play minecraft; constantly forgetting to pick up shit.

That gdilf dragonrider gith showed up again, and then a genuine celebrity, Elminster! In a rare moment of unity, I truly love how the entire party's reaction is 'fuck that,' to Mystra's plan. Even Asterion, which is a relief. Faye doesn't need him to like her, she's content with him making friends. Everybody loves Gale. I suspect he's been giving everyone magic lessons, and good for him. Although, does he offer to do so if you're a wizard too? That would be very condescending.

We went to the shadowlands and Asterion said he wanted to make a deal with the devil. I left him at camp and when I came back to fetch him, having located said devil, he'd come up with another brilliant idea; to rule on high as tadpole monarchs. He does raise a good point about the sheer number of potential infected, and Faye will accept living with it in her head is preferable to dying or tentacles, so she'll humour his wild theory for now. He clearly finds this atmosphere intellectually stimulating, but I kind of wish he didn't as each idea seems worse than the last. If he mentions crypto I'm kicking him out of camp.

He disapproved (of course) of humouring the half-spectre kid in the abandoned house. Just shut up and bear with it; we're lucky no one got possessed or followed back to camp. Not that we could avoid it forever; now we have a new-minted orphan hanging around, although Withers seems to be taking care of her? I guess he never leaves.

Speaking of failing to avoid awkward situations, Wyll invited Faye to dance, and she had to disappoint him. He apologised the next day, using almost the exact same words as Faye did to Halsin. They're good now and Faye can go back to spending hours trying to figure out he dream-friend. He's so chill and relaxed and wants hugs now, but she knows she wears her heart on her sleeve; you can literally read her oath in a book. Saying the right things to her is pretty easy and she knows it.

So. The artifact is gith, if it's an illithid inside, why didn't they just say so? The implication from the gdilf is it's someone else, probably the prince. Is the dream visitor not in the artifact at all, and just taking credit for it? but if that was the case surely we wouldn't have been sent right to it by whatsherface? It makes our heads hurt. What has Shar got to do with this? Maybe it is a weapon against the Absolute, which seems to be the biggest threat here. Illithids = Absolute? Divinity doesn't seem their thing. 

Halsin finally joined us, and Thaniel isn't actually a real kid, so he can hang around camp for a while. The party seems to be divided into two camps on our newest recruit: woof he big, and Shadowheart. Maybe he ate her cheese or something.

He's so nice? So calm? Doesn't guilt-trip you when you leave him in camp. Polite and grateful for all you've done. I need to get him some gear though, and figure out how to druid. Faye is very happy to have him around.

[meonlyred]

BG3 Epilogue spoilers. A very long post.

Found a work around for the Unique Tav mod problem I was having. The epilogue would not trigger if I took the mod out and when I would put it back in then I got a body texture error giving my Tavs a darken grid skin texture. So I didn't take screen shots just played to see what happens. But I got screen shots now baby!!

Something I love about this game is that it gives dates. The game begins the 20th of Eleasis (August) 1492. For this play through it was the 15th of Uktar (November) when I finished the game. Meaning its around mid Mirtul (May) 1493 when the party takes place. The dialogue tab does not reflect the time skip but easy enough to do the math.

So some highlights.

Bro I straight up cried at Shadowheart's conversation. She has a house she has been fixing up, her parents are both still alive. Her father has been helping her take care of her animals and rebuild her home. Her mother has good days and bad but they did make a pie together and Shadowheart actually remembers it from her childhood.

Lark is not a hugging person but Shadowheart and her were close friends and I feel this was appropriate

I love that you can find some Selûnite slippers that are clearly Shadowheart's since she is walking around bare foot and wading into the river.

A duck from Halsin! This fits in with headcanon/ttrpg campaign things I have for Lark. She has a carved lark and a carved sparrow, for her and her brother that she found in the remains of her childhood home. The duck with go along side those.

Karlach 😳 ma'am.

FINALLY Justice for Karlach! Please I need her to come home! Because THIS SHIP NEEDS TO SAIL PLEASE!!!

Confession: for our Descend into Avernus campaign I almost made a barbarian lady who was married to a smith with like five kids back at home. But my party ended up having two paladins so I thought we had enough melee tanks. So I made a divine soul sorcerer instead. And then I played BG3 and THIS! THIS IS MY SHIP!!!

I had been wondering about this. Because I kind of felt really sad for the original Tadfools at the end. Of the original six (seven if you count Tav) only Shadowheart and Gale remained to celebrate their victory that night because of the choices I made. Lae'zel left with the githyanki, Wyll and Karlach had to leave immediately to go to Avernus to save Karlach. And Astarion had to flee into the shadows and didn't show back until the reunion party. Sure there was Minsc, Jaheira, and Halsin. But for this play through it was just Lark, Gale, and Shadowheart sitting around a table in the Elfsong going "damn, so all that happened to us." I have thought a lot about the moment right after defeating the Elderbrain. As I said above we know the game starts in Eleasis and keeps track of how many days go by. How many long rests you take will determined how long the game takes place. So for me the party had the tadpoles and shared thoughts for exactly 80 days. To suddenly not, to sit a cross from someone who you shared something unique and terrifying and to now have the silence of your own thoughts. I find it very interesting and very sad that several of the party were not present to share and come to terms with that moment together.

This was actually a bit surprising to me. I was wondering what class Wyll would become after losing his Warlock powers. I had thought a Paladin might suit him. A couple of my play throughs I have even muiltclassed him as a Palock. Fighter would have been my second guess. If you do the other story you find out that his ranger pet is a wolf name Lily! (If you have Wyll as a Duke then he names his adopted daughter Lily. Which is the cutest thing.)

(My Wyllmancer play through Psalm is bugged right now. Wyll, Karlach, and she went to Avernus together and right now all the companions think I romanced Karlach instead of Wyll. 😭)

omg I can't believe Lark married a wizard just like her mother. 🙄

Those who might have been reading my posts on Lark will know she was an import from one of my ttrpg campaigns. She is very near and dear to me. I was please that the timeline of our campaign and the timeline of BG3 allowed me to bring her into the game as bit older and more mature woman than she was in our campaign.

Romancing Gale with her was wildly fitting. Lark is the daughter of a Silvermoon trained Wizard and an Wild Magic Sorcerer Uthgardt barbarain (the roman use of the word, not the class.) I won't go too deep into it but its very fitting considering the reason Lark's parents died, it feels like history is righting itself. As Wither might say, balance.

As for Lark's relationship with Gale, she could argue with him passionately about magic. She could make her displeasure in how the gods interfere with morals loud and clear. But most importantly turn him away from the gods influence. What I found really interesting is that for Lark's play through, Gale still has the orb.

Both Lark and Psalm told Gale to not apologize to Mystra and told him not to try and fish the crown out of the Chionthar. Apparently he didn't listen to Psalm. But for Lark the orb apparently has become inert. Which I approve of a lot, especially for Lark's play through. She would never tell him to try to become a god, nor would she tell him to seek Mystra's forgiveness and to become her chosen again.

Lark has Wyll philosophy when it comes to the gods. You can't really be agnostic or atheist in Faerûn. But she is as close as you can get without risking ending up in the Wall of Faithless.

Anyways, I think its very cute that Gale has become a professor. He had made a comment wishing to teach if you say he is an apple during the Dryad's newly wed game.

LMAO she leans in for a kiss and he leans away. Sir, she is a sorceress and kind of a mean one at that. She is going to turn you into a frog and put you in a jar.

I did take the friendly options with Tara because yeah... after talking to her, yeah Gale is right, they are a lot alike. Tara and Lark conspiring, yeah... yeah that is right.

I did reload to see what she said if you were mean with her and smifomsdfioms the fireballs about to be thrown.

Anyways this is far more than I expected. I thought at best we were going to get the same as DoS2, a slide show of nice art and the narrator telling us what happens. Most of the conversations with the companions were much longer than just a handful of lines. Some of them longer than base game conversations. I am kind of floored by this epiloge.

[mumms-the-word]

A Macabre Masquerade - Ch. 2

Ch. 2 - Getting Ready

Characters: Tavs (multiple), Gale, Astarion, Karlach, Wyll, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Halsin, Minthara + other OCs Plot: One year after defeating the Netherbrain and saving the city, Dani and Gale receive a mysterious invitation to a masquerade ball. The invitation specifically invites them to participate as the Heroes of Baldur's Gate. However, when they get there, they soon realize they aren't the only Heroes of Baldur's Gate that got invited. A/N: Designing outfits for Dani and Gale ended up being so hard for me, but I can't wait to show off some descriptions of other Tavs/Durges/Companions when they get to the party. Should I post my inspiration pics? Maybe~

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | BG3 Masterlist | AO3

Dani was just putting the final touches of her outfit together, sliding a few gold filigree rings onto her horns until they fit snuggly, when she saw Gale step into view in the reflection of her full-length mirror. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and pressed a kiss to her cheek before resting his chin on her shoulder.

“Nearly ready, my love?” he asked.

“I think so.” She glanced over her reflection quickly in the mirror before turning and bringing Gale to stand side by side with her, her arm linked in his. “What do you think? Are we fit to be seen by high society?”

He tilted his head, studying their reflections, and she in turn gave them both another lingering once-over. She was dressed in an elegant sleeveless midnight gown embroidered with golden swirls along the bodice and a pattern of gold embroidered feathers twisting and curling upward from the hem of her skirt. She felt sexy with her low plunging neckline, nearly to her navel, showing a tantalizing hint of the curve of her breasts. Her back was mostly bared as well, though she had draped a silky gold wrap around her shoulders in anticipation of the night chill. The blue fabric of the dress was soft and draped easily from her hips, weighed down by the elaborate embroidery. It was easily the fanciest and most expensive dress she owned, even having spent the last year filling her closet with finery to wear to dinners with patriars and celebrations for newly restored buildings in the city. She felt almost overdressed, like she were playing pretend with a costume on a stage. 

But then again, it was a masquerade. Everyone would be dressing up and pretending to be someone else for a bit.

Gale, in comparison, looked more than at home in his well-tailored attire, consisting of a dark high-necked shirt buttoned all the way up, an open midnight brocade coat that fell halfway down his calves, and dark trousers to match. Warm golden embroidery shimmered along the edges of his coat and around the buttons of his purple waistcoat, and he had added a sash that crossed from shoulder to hip and around his waist in the same purple shade. He’d tied back sections of his hair into a little bun at the back, fastened with a bit of purple ribbon, the tails trailing down, and he’d swapped his silver earring of Mystra’s eight-pointed star for a gold feather charm that matched all of Dani’s gold jewelry for the night. Dani wore the other feather earring as one of her many earrings. He looked like a prince in a fairy book, especially when his expression shifted to one filled with love as he gazed at her in the mirror.

“You certainly do,” he said in response to her question, turning to kiss her cheek again. “You look absolutely stunning.”

She pursed her lips at her reflection, reaching up to pull some of her two-toned hair over her shoulder. She’d styled her hair a little differently, going with a high ponytail that left her waving, slightly curling locks cascading down her back, but kept her usual fringe pieces to frame her face, freshly dyed a pale, icy blue. She did feel beautiful, but she couldn’t shake the silly notion that she’d blink and it would all disappear.

She knew that it wouldn’t, of course. She was there when they tried on these outfits in Figaro’s elegant shop and she remembered watching Gale hand over a hefty bag of coin to pay for them. She was there when they’d trusted the custom tailoring to her mother, as the dress needed altering to accommodate Dani’s tail and Gale wanted the jacket a bit more fitted (plus it gave them an excuse to visit her mother). So there was no denying the dress on her body was more than a figment of her imagination. It was just taking some getting used to.

“You do know how to go all out, dressing for a fancy patriar party,” Dani said, smoothing her hands down her skirt. “This is fancier than my wedding dress.”

“You don’t dislike it, do you?” Gale asked, pulling back to look at her, expression suddenly concerned. “You should have said—“

“No! No, I love it. Hells, I look like a princess.” She fidgeted with her wrap, not being used to it. She didn’t like it covering her shoulders but she felt matronly with it limply draped around her arms. She was half tempted to just toss it to the side or tie it in a sash around her waist. “Is this how people dress all the time in Waterdeep? City of Splendours and all that?”

“Only if you’re of a particularly fortunate class,” Gale said. “Though among wizards it’s not unusual to see someone charm their outfit or cast a lingering illusion to make their shabby robes look better than they are. The Blackstaff Ball could be positively insufferable with apprentices and alumni trying to outshine one another with elaborate illusions.”

“Oh?” Dani grinned and tilted her head. “That sounds fun. Would we have passed muster at a Blackstaff Ball?”

“As we are now? Absolutely. But there’s nothing wrong with adding a bit of sparkle to an already stunning visage, is there?” He chuckled, but his eyes drifted back toward the mirror, lingering on both of them. He looked almost…wistful. His mind a thousand miles away.

Dani felt a pang of guilt, all too familiar. For an entire year she and Gale had lived in Baldur’s Gate, working to rebuild the city out of all the destruction the Netherbrain and a hoard of mind flayers and dragons had caused. She was fiercely proud of their work, especially Gale’s role in navigating the reconstruction efforts. He'd been indispensable. His verbosity, charm, and intelligence were essential to all the schmoozing, wheeling, and dealing they’d had to do with patriars, the upper ranks of the Flaming Fist, guild masters, and even civilians themselves. But every now and again, like now, a tiny bit of doubt and guilt would worm its way into her head, chiding her for stealing Gale away from the city that was his home. Even as he settled comfortably in Baldur’s Gate and spoke of establishing a small wizarding school or they spoke excitedly of their next book idea, she couldn’t completely ignore her doubts.

Baldur’s Gate was her home. It was the city that made her. But Waterdeep was his, and it was the city that made him. Yes, he had been the one to suggest he move to Baldur’s Gate when he proposed, but…had she been too selfish, asking him to stay with her?

She pushed the doubts aside for now. If she let herself linger on them too long, she would convince herself that she wasn’t worthy of him. That she wasn’t worthy of anyone, really. And she couldn’t let herself go down that slippery slope just yet. She wanted to be selfish just a tiny bit longer.

She turned and looped her arms around his neck, kissing just at the corner of his mouth, a sweet hint to wake him from his reveries. “Then why not add a bit of extra sparkle, just for us?” she asked, hoping to cheer him up. “A bit of dazzle. A touch of magic.”

He smiled and wrapped an arm around her, turning his head to kiss her properly. “You don’t need any extra sparkle, my love,” he said. “Not when you’re already perfect.”

She giggled and shook her head. “You and your words. We both know I’m not perfect. So go on, then. Indulge me.” She stepped out of his embrace and did a little spin. “Make me look as beautiful as I might appear at a Blackstaff Ball.”

“You already look more beautiful than most at a Blackstaff Ball,” he said, but he put a hand to his chin, clearly thinking through possibilities. She smiled and waited, curious to see what he might come up with. Sure enough, after a second’s thought, his eyes lit up as he landed on an idea.

“Hold still,” he said. He held up a hand, palm toward her, and murmured an incantation. 

She didn’t catch the words he whispered, but she felt the pull of magic. She’d become far more attuned to it after living with Gale for a year, though she still preferred to cast her spells via music. She closed her eyes, feeling the threads of magic shift around her until the spell seemed complete. When she opened her eyes again, turning toward the mirror, she gasped with delight.

Gale had turned her wrap from a drape of gold silk to a cascade of gold feathers, glimmering with metallic beauty. She ran her hand down the feathers and found them soft and flexible, but not downy like real bird feathers. An artist’s rendition, a craftsman’s interpretation of feathers, sculpted in flattened gold. They shifted easily as she adjusted the wrap over her shoulders and held out her arms, admiring how it made her look like she had wings.

“You do know how to impress a girl, darling,” she said, grinning and taking his face in her hands for a big kiss. “Now I really feel like a princess in a fairy story. How long until my little spell lasts? Until midnight? Am I expected to scurry home before I start molting golden feathers?”

He chuckled again, looping his arms comfortably around her waist. “No scurrying necessary. Your feathers will last a full twenty-hours. I should hate to embarrass you by letting the illusion fall too early.”

“You’re the best,” she said, kissing him again. “But what about you? Don’t you need a bit of dazzle?”

“Why should I, when I will have you on my arm, my love?”

“Oh stop it,” she laughed, pushing playfully at his shoulder. “You can think of something, surely.”

“Well…I did have one or two ideas,” he admitted, giving her an all-too-familiar grin that was both sheepish and smug.

“Well, go on then. Show off for me and then let’s get going.” She stepped back to give him room and gestured for him to get on with it. 

He shook his head slightly, amused, but then passed a hand over his clothes. He murmured another spell and she watched as the embroidery of his brocade coat, the slightly bluer threads that made up a bland repeating floral pattern against the darker blue of the fabric, shifted and re-threaded into a new pattern. When the spell was complete, the fabric of his coat had gone from a standard floral brocade to a pattern of embroidered feathers, faintly blue against a midnight-dark background. As she watched, the feathers seemed to shift and glimmer faintly, as if moved by a faint puff of air. It was subtle, almost unnoticeable unless you happened to let your gaze linger, but the overall effect was enchanting.

“There,” he said, turning to glance in the mirror. He gave his reflection a self-satisfied nod. “Now we match. Birds of a feather and all that.”

“I love it,” Dani said, wrapping her arms around his arm and resting her chin on his shoulder. “We’ll be the envy of the entire masquerade.”

“Speaking of, we’ll be late if we don’t hurry.”

“Late? We’re the heroes of Baldur’s Gate. The party doesn’t start until we arrive.”

“I’ll leave you to tell that to the doorman or whoever bars us from entry when we arrive after the appointed time, my love. You always were the more charming of the two of us.”

He adjusted her hold on his arm so that he was escorting her properly, her hands nestled in the crook of his elbow. As she straightened up and met his warm brown eyes, she found him gazing fondly, lovingly, his smile gentle. Despite his warning about the time, his eyes never moved from her face, slowly taking in every detail of her appearance. Her hair, her earrings, the decorations on her horns, her makeup, all of it. 

“You look beautiful,” he murmured. “Like a dream.”

She ought to be used to his words, but something about the way his gaze lingered, the tenderness in his expression, it made her flush as though this were the first time he’d ever said such things. She was at a loss for words, wanting to say the same back but thinking that it might trivialize the moment if she did.

At her silence, he leaned in for a slow, sweet kiss. She let her eyelids flutter closed, melting into the kiss, until at last he pulled away with a soft-spoken, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered.

“Ready?”

She took a deep breath and nodded, giving his arm a little squeeze. Her heart fluttered with sudden excitement. A masked ball! And they looked gorgeous. It really did feel like a dream.

“Ready.”

[queenofcarrotflowers-s]

I finished my first BG3 playthrough last night after 210 hours with my redeemed Dark Urge spores druid Sorcha and I have so many emotions about it!

(spoilers for the ending)

the final battle was so good and I nearly cried seeing all the allies standing around in the main chamber right before. the emotional payoff for playing the Dark Urge, who masterminded this whole plan, to be reborn anew and save the world, was just incredible. we killed the Netherbrain in the last round with two companions dead-dead (Gale and Shadowheart), and Astarion, Sorcha, and Orpheus just wailing on it, hoping they don't die. got the brain down to 10 HP on the final turn, and a Potion of Speed is all we needed for Astarion to get in the final hit.

however, I was disappointed by all the bugs that happened at the very end. I had to click "skip" through Wyll and Karlach's cutscene in Avernus, because it wouldn't move forward without me doing that. then when my epilogue scene with Astarion started, first it was just a blue screen, none of the text was voiced, and I couldn't click the dialogue options it just said "continue." I reloaded, and it worked a little better, the lines were voiced but some got automatically skipped, but I also ended up in freecam mode, with... my summoned fire myrmidon still in the room with us, on top of my character. lol

I also never got a final conversation with Halsin, despite having romanced him too? I thought that's where the "daddy Halsin" dialogue comes from, but I never got it. is that dialogue only if you are exclusively dating Halsin?

I just wish there was a final celebration at the end after beating the game—which Gale even talks about in the dialogue on the docks!!!—where you can talk to all of your companions and allies one final time. also, you should be able to take ALL your companions into the final battle with you, it felt rude as hell just leaving them at the Elfsong and then not even seeing them when the rest of our allies were gathered. hopefully some of these bugs and things will be worked out and improved upon in future updates/whenever the Definitive Edition gets released.

[parasite-core]

I have more to say about how I feel about the ending of BG3 after beating it as both an evil Bhaalspawn and a redeemed hero. End game spoilers under the cut.

I don’t like what I feel like the game is saying about the ultimate reward for being a good person, at least from my perspective after playing through twice. In my evil game Calio had virtually no allies, he’d caused the deaths of almost all his companions and the ones he still had were either on their own paths to being villains or miserable. Then he took control of the Netherbrain, betrayed the last few people who actually trusted him and handed the world to Bhaal on a silver platter. The final scene is him on a throne of bone surrounded by his mind-controlled ‘friends’ while he uses godlike power to wipe out some attacking Githyanki. He gets everything he wanted, essentially. Power and no one being able to stop him as he razes the universe to the ground in his god’s name. He is happy in his absolutely twisted way as the world burns.

Then we have Adramelek, who fought against the monster within himself and won. He denied Bhaal and was given a second chance at life as his own person. He helped all of his friends to become their best selves. He fought tooth and nail to save not just this city or this world but even the Githyanki and anyone else he came across who he could lend help to.

And what does he get in the end? He has no choice but to sacrifice himself and turn into a mindflayer, otherwise he’d have to damn the Githyanki to their slavery at Vlaakith’s hands by either letting the Emperor kill Orpheus or by letting Orpheus make the ultimate sacrifice for his people and become a mindflayer himself. Addy couldn’t betray Lae’Zel’s trust like that, not after he’d spent so long promising her that he would help to save her people.

So in the end the city is saved, everyone is celebrating, it’s a beautiful happy moment. All of Addy’s friends survived. Karlach and Wyll have a lead for fix for her heart. Lae’Zel is fighting a revolution alongside Orpheus, and has learned and grown so much at Addy’s side that she can even be Orpheus’ diplomat. Shadowheart is traveling and finding herself for the first time in her life. Gale is teaching students the ways of the Weave and is finally free from the mistakes of his past. And while Astarion had to return to the shadows, he’s learned to accept himself as he is, and is actually genuinely happy despite his lot in life. The world at large is so much better than it was before Addy touched it.

And yet Adramelek is a mindflayer, losing what is left of himself, seeing his once beloved friends as ‘valuable assets’, having to fight against himself to not try to eat their brains. Astarion doesn’t know how much of the man he loved is even in there anymore, and they parted ways, deciding to just be friends while they figured out this new situation. So Addy lost the most loving and dear relationship to him he had, and he doesn’t even remember how to properly feel sad about it.

The world is happy, at peace, and on its way to healing. But the one who saved it is damned.

So what do these two stories tell us? That doing the right thing will destroy you and make you miserable even as those around you are lifted up, and that being a terrible person will get you everything you want so long as you don’t mind destroying everything and everyone around you? That’s so fucking cynical. I hate it. It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

[staysafedontdie]

BG3 personal obsession/experience dump

Name: Kia'namid (Keeper; Star Dancer) Race: Githyanki (Redeemed!Dark Urge) Age: Bit older than Astarion when he died; probably in his 40s-50s Voice: That deep, default male one they use for Dark Urge Starting Class: Bard (College of Swords) Multi-class: Bard/Paladin/Fighter (for the wild meta-gaming) Notable features: Piercings, *gold* eyeshadow, tattoos, and a parting gift from Volo Romancing: Astarion (sigh, I knoooow)

I celebrate my new-found freedom with a doodle of my pretty PC that I did not do justice to. TW under the cut for me taking bad care of myself and self indulgent smooch between Kia and Astarion.

I got Baldur's Gate 3 because of the hot vampire like 3 weeks ago and have literally done almost nothing since. I didn't go in my office to my computer, I fell asleep on the couch playing BG3 and woke up to continue playing BG3. My ADHD had me so bad I was barely eating - it was a nightmare (apologies to my husband for being Bad at Human but also because I wouldn't stop giggling about the game.)

The thing that finally freed me was romancing Spawn Astarion and the fact that all of the endings are terrible and I don't want any of them. I DIDN'T FINISH THE GAME. But I'm OK with it for now.

ALSO CAN WE DISCUSS HOW SILLY IT IS FOR BHAAL TO HAVE MADE NOT ONLY A *GITHYANKI* SERIAL MURDERER, BUT ALSO AN UNUSUAL LOOKING ONE I ONLY WANTED THE COOL POWERS BUT NARRATIVELY IT MAKES NO SENSE. Like what the fuck, did Bhaal get extra cocky like 'nah fam, it's fine, no one will notice'. I noticed Bhaal. i have several pages of notes about this guy, I am not OK (I love him very much, he's a very good character)

[blackjackkent]

Aight, as promised, I'm going to celebrate the release of BG3 by desperately trying to continue/finish my liveblog of BG2 which has been in very slow progress for literal years due to the fact that every time I play any part of it (especially towards the end here) I am hit by feels so severe that I have to write a drabble the size of the Magna Carta. (And also I have been easily distracted by Guild Wars and Overwatch lately, whoops. o.o; )

That said, I think we're pretty close to the end. :D And a couple people have definitely expressed interest in seeing the end of good old Caden's story (and his adventures in Throne of Bhaal).

So we resume! As always, feel free to block the tag "#bjk plays baldur's gate 2" if you are uninterested in watching the shenanigans. :D

We left off in the final stage of our chase after Jon Irenicus; Caden, who had his soul ripped out by that jerk, is struggling against slowly succumbing to the darkness of Bhaal that was left behind, and he and his friends are working their way through the elven city of [checks spelling yet again] Suldanessellar, where Irenicus is wreaking mad havoc and killing everyone.

The current plan is to try and find the elven queen, Ellesime, and help her fight back, but she's currently trapped in the palace by Irenicus, so the logical plan B (why not) is to summon an elven god using three trinkets we've collected, and let him, presumably, blast the door in.

The trinkets have been acquired so let's get about it!

[motheatenscarf]

Playing BG3, finally got through the Goblin camp again as Rose this time, I have a weird bug where apparently the first time whenever I camp in a different area other than the Wilderness, like caves or the underdark, that becomes “True Camp” where companions return to. So, whoever I had in my party at the time was who got to go to the tiefling celebration afterward.

So, sadly, I didn’t have Lae’zel in the party, so I won’t know who she hooks up with if you romance Gale, which is honestly devastating, I was hoping it would be Astarion so I could see if literally all of the men disappointed her. But I did see the Gale romance, he’s a good fit for Rose, except for the part where he’s WORSE THAN ASTARION about setting the right mood.

HOW COULD IT BE WORSE, you ask? He doesn’t strand your character buck ass naked on the bare forest floor, literally anything would have to be better than that, right?

Right?

No.

At least Astarion took Aashi the FUCK AWAY FROM CAMP, oh my god!

Scene fades in, Rose is sitting on the little bedroll around the camp fire with Wyll and Shadowheart asleep on the other bedrolls nearby. 

Huh, weird place to start.

Oh, Gale’s... sitting down.

Wait. No. Here? NO!

Cut to under construction mindflayer. 

Okay, maybe they moved. Maybe it’ll cut to a different part of cam-

Nope, he’s gonna tell her about Mystra now and we are still... in camp... same spot where they left off...

I’m so sorry, Wyll and Shadowheart. Rose is officially your terrible college roommate. 

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - Baldur’s Gate is ENORMOUS

I didn’t think I could be more overwhelmed but somehow this game just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Which is fine, but… my pathetic little mac can’t deal with it. The deeper I get into the city, the worse the gameplay gets, and it’s so bad now, so bad. I wish there was an even more basic barebones graphics level below low.

Spoilers:

The dark urge flavour in the tabernacle was neat. My character left a big donation for the seldarine goddess not out of religious devotion but as a spiteful fuck-you to daddy. I like that Bhaal answers back. Very fun. And Astarion continues in his theme of being grumpy about anything religious. I don’t know, buddy. After he mentioned being thankful that it was my plot that freed him, I can’t help but look at the whole coincidence of it all and wonder if that was the answer to his prayers, even though it took a long time to play out.

I got to Sorcerous Sundries. The thing that upset me the most about Rolan wasn’t his face, it wasn’t the shitty situation he described, no, somehow the thing that upset me the most was that he wasn’t even bothering to be arrogant and rude anymore. It was that little detail that made me feel the worst and made me understand how bad things were. Poor buddy. It’s ok, Aylin broke Lorroakan over her fucking knee. God I love her.

What an irritating fight though. I accidentally brought all squishy spellcasters with me when maybe a good fighter would have been more efficient. (sigh, Lae’zel, I will find you soon, I promise) My tav freshly leveled up to 11 and I finally, FINALLY got OTTO’S IRRESISTABLE DANCE. Ooooooh I’ve been waiting forever for that. I cast it on Lorroakan right at the start and it was great, kept him quiet the entire fight while we chipped away at all his goddamned elementals until we were ready to kick his ass. Oh my god oh my GOD was it ever funny watching him boogie the whole time in the corner, getting angry every turn and threatening us as he did his little shuffle. I laughed and laughed and laughed. BEST SPELL EVER. Can’t wait to use it on Gortash and Orin. Rolan ended up getting the final killing hit in, which made me pleased. I’ve had Shovel summoned and following Astarion ever since I read the scroll mid-act-1, and sadly she got zapped in the fight and I didn’t notice until a few hours later. I could reload and redo the fight to keep her alive, but myeh I dunno, maybe it’s her time. Gale still knows how to summon her if we want her back.

I don’t have patch 6 yet - mac users always have to wait longer - so I don’t get to see the new fight cinematics yet. I assume that once the patch comes out, I’ll be able to load old save slots up and watch it then?...

After that, I was just dicking around and found the whole lower level of the tower and all the stuff that goes with that totally by accident.

I did the whole newspaper quest thingie, and managed to do it mostly by just sneaking really good, only ended up using one single invisibility potion… but I don’t know if my game is bugged or what, I was a bit disappointed, the next morning the quest had succeeded and NPCs talk to me like I’m a celebrity now, but the newspaper wasn’t about me. If I succeed or if I fail, the paper is always just random unrelated headlines. I was wanting a funny and relevant story! :( Ah well. Sneaking through there around the guards was a pain in the ass and a half but I’m low on invisibility potions :( Until I get some more I need to be careful.

The only thing more fun than exploring and finding all the neat little details is doublechecking with my daughter who is also playing, and seeing how much she has MISSED because she just speeds through with no patience for the exploring. Lmao. She’s currently stuck at Shadowheart’s big fight in the House of Grief. I popped down there myself to take a look and shee-it, that is definitely a nasty stupid fight.

Dang there’s so much stuff here in the city though. I honestly can’t even remember all of what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m kind of in the mood to hurry up and get to the Cazador fight, but there’s so much city to explore between here and there. And my computer lags and lags and lags.

[eldritchsurveys]

1176.

Loaded Questions: Party Game - Part 1 bonesofivory All questions from the Loaded Questions game

What is not worth all the money in the world? >> I bet I will finally think of a funny answer for this randomly in the middle of the night when I'm trying to go to sleep. What would make for a ridiculous new national holiday? >> But there are already so many ridiculous national holidays. I feel like we're full up on those at this point. What would cause you to give a child a "time out"? . What is something you would want to do every day? >> Bask in a sunbeam like a cat.

What word or phrase do you overuse? >> I can never remember one when asked, but I do have a few phrases and words that I sometimes feel self-conscious about because I know I use them constantly.

If you were in jail, whom would you want for your cellmate? .

If you owned a nightclub, what would you call it? >> The Church of Ill Repute. It was the name of a bar/nightclub/concert venue type place I made up for a roleplay character on Vampirefreaks back in the day and I still love it. Or we could just go with something like "Cathedral" or "Midnight Mass" or something if that one's Too Much. (Yes, I'm mostly inspired by that one club that used to exist in NYC that was in an old cathedral -- forget what it's called now, was it... Limelight?? idk but every day of my life I regret I was born just a bit too late to have been able to go there myself.)

What image should be next to the word "extraordinary" in a dictionary? >> The aforementioned NYC nightclub. On what TV show would you make a perfect guest star? .

How do you know when you're having a bad day? >> My thought patterns are the first indication, because I get real self-punishing and defeatist and borderline-to-full-suicidal real quick. It's a pretty dramatic shift. Also my executive function goes entirely out the window instead of just, you know, straddling the windowpane and threatening to jump.

Where is a terrible place to fall asleep? >> Any of the brown line trains, they're just terrible for that. You don't want to try to sleep on a (J) or something, like, that's just silly. I was always partial to the orange line, the (F) especially. (D) can be pretty good too since it turns local at night. Blue lines are a safe bet too. Didn't care for the (E) much but (A), sure, can get some good ZZZs on an (A).

What would constitute a bad neighbor? >> So many things crowded into my brain at once, where do I even begin. I think I'm just particular. How do you think you'll celebrate your 100th birthday? >> I don't know what kind of person I will be at 100 (to say nothing of what kind of world this will be in 2087...), so I really couldn't say. Which television family is most like your own family? >> Imagine one of those Black family sitcoms like The Bernie Mac Show or Everybody Hates Chris but there's no laugh track when they casually joke about beating their kids etc. Also it has to be on HBO because it's not actually suitable for "family" audiences.

What would make you turn off the TV immediately? >> Being bored by whatever is playing on it. It's hard to pinpoint a specific thing that would bore me, it's generally more an overall vibe than anything else. What would significantly change the mood right now? >> Oh, you know. Pretty much anything, to be honest.

What is the most impressive thing you can make? .

How are you planning on changing your life for the better? >> I'm not planning on that at all.

What is the most creative thing you have done recently? >> Whoof...

When is having very little of something actually a good thing? >> Hmm. What do you wish took a shorter amount of time to accomplish? >> Downloading. It's 2024 and I'm still letting game downloads run overnight while I sleep because they take so goddamn long. The latest BG3 patch is going to be my villain origin story when it finally drops. If your birthday became a national holiday, how would you celebrate it? >> It sometimes is a national holiday, but I cannot convey how much I hate sharing my birthday with Memorial Day of all things. I wouldn't want my birthday as such to be a holiday, though. My birthday is for me and people who specifically know and want to celebrate me. Also, I don't want to be associated with this nation.

What is something five out of five doctors can agree on? >> Lab coats rule.

What would be a strange gift to give at a baby shower? . What is a terrible thing to stuff a turkey with on Thanksgiving? >> Anything, I hate that people stuff the turkey. Soggy stuffing is the worst.

What inexpensive thing would you love to receive as a present? >> I mean, a lot of things. There are a lot of inexpensive things in the world that I like.

If Columbus discovered today's America, what might cause him to go back on his ship and sail away? .

What is a terrible excuse for forgetting a loved one's birthday? >> I took this literally at first and was like, "well, forgetting is largely involuntary, people don't forget on purpose, so...???" but I think "forgetting" is being used loosely here, to mean something more like "not acknowledging/overlooking" which could be for any number of reasons, including "I just didn't feel like putting any effort into acknowledging it", which, well, isn't great for a relationship. So, yeah, I guess that.

If you had to give the same gift to everyone on your holiday list, what would you give? .

What celebrity doesn't need a Halloween mask to look scary? >> That is a bit meaner than I'd prefer to be about people's appearances. Upon blowing out the candles on your next birthday cake, what will you wish for? .

What present would you immediately re-gift? >> I can't think of anything but overall I am pro-regifting.

If you could put a stop to one holiday tradition, what would it be? >> Fireworks. 100% What do you have an abundance of and could share with others? .

What information should not be communicated through text? .

What would you most like to find when going through your bag of Halloween treats? .

What have you done that would put you on Santa's naughty list? >> I am permanently on Santa's naughty list for the crime of wanting to bone him. If you could interview the devil, what would be your first question? >> "Doin anything tonight? 😏"

What kind of pet could someone have that would make you think that person is crazy? . What road sign do you wish existed? >> If I was wittier I would have had a ball with some of these questions but my mind just doesn't work that way 98% of the time, RIP.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

QUICK GAME OF THE YEAR REACTION POST:

sorry for anyone who follows me for ofmd(ive been ofline due to work+school+writing 2 ofmd fic due Dec 15th), but really quick, here's my general thoughts about my Other unhealthy habit besides writing about gay pirates!! I love gaming and this year was STRONG, so I have THOUGHTS. This is my superbowl.

Rants first:

Pizza Tower was robbed for breakout indie. By a Mile. It had 40k community reviews compared to the winners 2k. The winners were an offshoot indie company that made fuckimg LIMBO. One of the games that started the indie scene vs. a passion project between friends. All the music is being written by 1 guy with 2 developers on the game. Pizza Tower released in the first few months of 2023 to a huge breakout fandom vs. Cacoon that just came out a few months ago. I think indie needs to be more community vs. reviewer based, as the community is selling the game to future fams vs. Games Journalists. I loved Pizza Tower, but it's not a pretty game the journalists choose. I loved it, from its fast-paced music to 90s cartoon art to challenging gameplay, and it sucks that this fan community will be the people that review bombed cacoon. To me, it feels like the last of us 2 winning everything a few years ago. No hate to the devs. But damn.

-I fucking hate Hideo Kojima. I generally dispise his work as it feels like he's afraid to create 'lesser' art and uses his influence to hang out with celebrities. I think death stranding is sloppy, and most of HIS work in the Metal Gear series is dumb. His action feels slow, and his plots vaguely empty. So when I saw a more psychological horror game with his studio slapped on it(a genra you need to be VERY careful with), i wasn't happy. HOWEVER. I admire the fuck out of Jordan Peele and his version of a more sociological horror. Of systems and society and PEOPLE influencing our horror. Of what being an outcast means. So we're combining a successful studio with money and a writer who hopefully can toe the line between offensive mental health tropes and the fiction of the universe. I was fucking SQUEALING when Peele came out. (If he's a shit head, I apologize in advance). This could be a story based game that grabs me.

-please limit all announcers to a standard time frame. They should be as pressured in their speeches as the winners.

-E3 is gone. This is why there are so many announcements and adds for games va time for awards. Can we please create a separate indie vs. AAA show to highlight indie general beyond farmlife/pretry games. I want indie horror and other smaller genre to get recognized.

(Also fuck Neil druckmann for being a POS)

BG3 getting Game of the Year: spent 300+ hours playing BG3. Replaying acts 1/2 with around 5 different Tavs who never beat act 3(thanks to anxiety of finally ending a story). Romancing Karlach, Shadowheart and Astarion(dark urge). As a dragon age fan, this is the best RPG in that style I can ask for. I am delighted with every award it got, and will cherish this game for years. The dark urge 'good' playthrough featuring a plot that inspires me to this day.

Games I need to play right now apparently.

I thought Alan Wake 1 had a bad story but apparently Alan Wake 2 is right up my alley. A better horror game with better story and unreality and pushing the medium of video games. Which is my shit. I also need to understamd that dance montage. (I want to see why this won story over BG3, BG3 takes into account player action. Why did this win over 100s of hours of story content?)

The Finals. I can't stand battle royal/rainbow 6 esk games in general, but the attitude and destruction looks fun, and it's free. So fuck it.

Hi-fi rush! No clue what it is but it looked lovely and up my alley!

New stuff to look out for

That game based on Journey to the West. I was freaking out the entire trailer. I feel a long form game is the perfect way to adapt the legend. I loved watching Ellen ring and can see this become a comfort streaming game to watch.

'BLADE'- GAME???? FUCK YEAH! I was so hyped when I put the pieces together. I'm thankful for my time in the marvel fandom but I'm happy Blade was mostly ignored and we'll get a passionate team creating what will likely be a game with Batman Arkham style combat.

Free God of War DLC looks amazing, and as a rogue lite fan, I'll love to watch the story unfold online

Lost Records- from the life is strange people, is my shit. I will play it.

I finally get to play my dad's favorite Sega games with this remaster!!! All 5 look amazing.

Any Syardew Valley, Elden Ring or Hades like game. Love that shit.

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

finished bg3. overall, a phenomenal game. perhaps the greatest game i've ever played. but i do feel like the ending was a little weak. the final battle was really easy but that could just be because my character is op as fuck. but still, it was a lot of fun being able to call in all your allies and just slaughter enemies together.

maybe spoilers ahead

i saved the city because i'm a big goddamn hero but i really feel like i should have had more time with my companions. i think there should have been a whole epilogue or something. just you and your companions having a night of celebration or something. having some final conversations, reflecting on your journey together, and saying your goodbyes where appropriate. maybe something about how each of their lives play out after. and maybe some moment of remembrance for the companions that died or went their separate ways.

after the big battle i only had like 30 seconds to share a line or two of dialogue with a few my party members (not even all of them) and that's it. it feels rushed and out of character for a game that was otherwise full of emotional depth. like...i didn't even get to speak with karlach. me and all my companions were talking and then we were about to leave to celebrate and wyll was like "wait!! where's karlach!" or something like that and everyone looked panicked but then it just cut to another scene with me and shadowheart. never found out what happened with karlach. but i'm assuming she dies? lmao i don't know.

but it's also possible that i just missed something because the last part was pretty buggy and it seemed like it skipped over a couple cutscenes. i guess i'll have to go watch a youtube video to see the different endings.

anyway i hope they make a bunch of expansions. there is limitless potential for additional content. and obviously i'm looking forward to whatever sequel they eventually make. this game is really something special. i am definitely going to replay it. sometimes i see clips of other people's playthroughs and i'm realizing there is still so much shit that i missed out on. and i thought i was being thorough!

but yeah between the gale and the crown of karsus and karlach and zariel and the emperor and all of those other cities mentioned in the game and the portals in the house of hope and so on, there are lots of possibilities for expansions that i can imagine. i really would love to see more of avernus. the house of hope was maybe my favorite part of the game. really fascinating place. it reminded me of the haunted mansion ride at disneyland.

anyway, great game. amazing game. highly highly recommend to anyone who is into fantasy rpgs.

[redstaratmorning]

Headcanons and Musings of Pirate-y And Plunderous Proportions: Astarion Says What

Synopsis: Random musings and ramblings regarding and spawning from the differences between how Astarion says just one word, depending on your choices—“What?” This got very long and touches not only on Astarion’s difference in presentation in aforementioned moment, but also some discussion-thoughts to chuck onto the dashboard regarding some other elements of Astarion’s content thus far in Early Access, and some thoughts to add onto others’ speculations and wonderings (I did not save sources so pardon the lack of proper citation, oops. We’re going informal here anyway.) Spoilers for Chapter 1 BG3 scenes, plot, etc, under the cut in case someone hasn’t filtered out the tags. Trigger warning/content warning: some discussion of heavy topics is mentioned and explored, including starvation, abuse/torture, and trauma. Other topics of note for summarization include speculation on Astarion’s largely unknown as-of-early-access background and a touch of his possible pre-vampire morality leanings, possible mental state/trauma reaction in a couple of scenes, and vague speculation on Larian’s gameplan for Astarion’s arc ending. Gather thy party and venture forward, for here be dragons and lots o’ text, matey! [/stereotypical pirate accent]

“What?” Just that one word, between the goblin party and the tiefling party. If Larian keeps the body language and tone presentation more or less where it’s at now in Early Access, they are worlds apart and delightfully up for interpretation of just what’s going on in our favorite vampire spawn’s head. This won’t be an in-depth post about all the tonal and body language differences, just picking out a few due to personal constraints (ie too broke to buy this game currently.) Edit: And also a lot of other thoughts and ramblings tacked on, lol. On the one hand we have him at the goblin party, where he seems much more superficially comfortable there, knows what’s going on and knows what to expect—it feels like he’s done this kind of scene a hundred times before. The comfort of familiarity. Did Cazador throw “parties”, much like how he “invited” Astarion to dine with him? I wouldn’t be surprised if he mingled at regular dinner parties either before his turning, or perhaps after when he’s ordered to hunt for Cazador’s evening repast. I doubt the goblin party has anything as potentially horrific as what Cazador would have lined up on the nightly basis, which is why Astarion isn’t aggro’d: he’s in a position of power at this party after all, not a powerless one. A conquering hero, as he describes the MC. A Precarious position, as it turns out.

Circling back to that one word though, the way he says “what” in that scene after he propositions the MC and the MC picks the “Maybe. If you say please” line feels like Astarion’s response could be interpreted as pretty abrupt. On guard, perhaps, squaring up, offended, even perhaps lowkey challenging/hostile. Expressing social displeasure and possibly staring down the MC mayhaps? Could be, especially if Astarion’s body language remains as it is rigged now in-scene with that step forward, his shoulders shifting, the lack of a smile, that assessing glare, all combined with that flat tone of voice. The animation could just be temporary and subject to change, but if it does end up as more or less the final version of that moment’s depiction, it’s pretty interesting as a shift. I’d read it as potentially “not actually truly comfortable in this situation, just familiar and numb to it all”, especially when combined with some of his other earlier potential lines at the goblin party, such as the following: Astarion: So, what are we drinking to? Other than a pile of corpses. MC: That’s not funny. Astarion: Oh don’t be so sour - It’s a party. You did what you had to. Don’t be ashamed that you did it well. MC: I wish things had turned out differently. Astarion: And I wish I was drinking out of the skulls of everyone who’s ever wronged me. Life is tough. Although that’s not to say we can’t have a little fun. This supports the whole “has been through his personal hell and has adapted to survive it albeit not unscathed” story Larian seems to be going for with him quite nicely in the little tells and details. A sort of “take what joy you can even amidst the dark situation surrounding us” trauma-induced adaptation, coupled together with actual enjoyment on his part for killing. It’d be easy to say Astarion is moreso in his element at the goblin party, and to a degree he is—it’s one he is well practiced with in his current mindset. Compare now how he acts at the tiefling party—we can all agree he’s not having a good time, our friendly neighborhood vampire sulking in particular over the fact that “there’s a worm in [his] brain, [he’s] surrounded by idiots, and all [he] has to drink is wine that tastes like vinegar.” But the delightful thing is he’s complaining so vividly about it. The wine likely is worse at the tiefling party, seeing as they’re refugees, and the goblins had previously captured a duke whom they likely stole loot from and under orders from Minthara et al stored said goods elsewhere for a later date (likely some of said goods were consumed at the party if it happened. Edit: Shadowheart’s drunk dialogue at the goblin party mentions the goblin’s wine there being good, poor dear. Fascinating hints at her story and character in that scene though.) This is assuming Astarion is drinking wine at the goblin party, of course. He may very well be drinking something red and full-bodied there, just not made from grapes. But even in his complaints and presentation, he seems arguably more relaxed and less on guard compared to his demeanor at the goblin party. Let’s be honest, he doesn’t view goblins as equals or stimulating company judging by his various voice lines expressing his disdain, distrust and overall low opinion of them as vermin among other things. The fact that he’s willing to call the tiefling refugees idiots while in earshot of them? Definitely doesn’t respect them as a group—though he has a less negatively opined line regarding them earlier on if the caged goblin (Sazza) is killed,—which is not surprising given that MC and company at the time of the party just saved them from certain death. Astarion’s reaction however also reads as potentially at ease enough to say what he’s thinking. He’s not going to get murdered for saying so, and there aren’t any punishing power games at play with the refugees and do-gooders he’s found himself surrounded by. There aren’t any hedonistic shenanigans going on and the drinks are terrible, so it’s not an entertaining party for him, but one could make an argument that Astarion might actually be feeling more secure or at least less threatened-as-is/was-his-accepted-ongoing-norm there. Which might mean he’s feeling quite out of place, or even just not...entirely engaged with what’s going on around him and even within him as far as emotional states go. Would he casually pull the same stunt at the goblin party? If you’re a bastard to him, yes, but that’s not in the same emotional vein as his dialogue during the tiefling party at all. Loyalty from the goblins is fickle, the goblins worship the Absolute and those that are chosen by the Absolute—so long as said Chosen remain powerful enough to subjugate them and is in favor. Astarion knows this kind of power structure well: ruling by fear and power. With the tieflings? It’s not superiors-and-subordinates, it’s just...people. People celebrating surviving an event that could’ve very well and most likely would’ve ended in their deaths. Will he get to celebrate like that one day? That could very well be a painful and bleak thing to consider, and not something he wants to contemplate as of yet, based on his dialogue lines that demonstrate his fear of Cazador. How’s he supposed to get lost in the fun and revelry if the wine doesn’t even taste good to him? I don’t know wines, but I’m guessing from what little I do know and what I’ve read of flavor descriptors for wines hyped as good, it might actually be bad wine based on the adjective “sharp” when mixed with the rest of the description if the MC takes a sip. Sharp seems to suggest too many tannins, or maybe improper storage so the wine actually did turn to taste a bit more like vinegar, or maybe not enough sugar in the grapes used, perhaps? To be fair, I do believe there’s a non-conversation line somewhere of Astarion’s regarding solid food tasting terrible to him, but I can’t verify that so a pinch of salt there. Still, if his taste buds are aligned with regular living mortal ones for wine at least, RIP Astarion, he’s stuck with a terrible drink for the foreseeable night. Unless, of course, you know. ;D Compared to the tieflings, the goblins as a whole? As a group they’re a scraped together army of pillagers hungry for destruction and spoils. They don’t have ANY loyalty to you—in addition to being willing to betray you via murder immediately despite working with them when Sazza first brings you back to meet Minthara, there’s also when Minthara potentially opts to try to kill you post-goblin-party. If you persuade her not to, Minthara does mention “do not return to the goblin camp, as far as they were concerned you were destined to die tonight.” This is not a group to get chummy with, obviously. Doesn’t say good things about the Absolute’s followers in general, either, or the Absolute depending on if Minthara’s being honest about the Absolute intending that the MC dies after razing the grove. Minthara could just be lying to serve her own ends and is out to destroy any rivals for the Absolute’s favor, after all, I can’t verify that from dialogue exploration at present. So it’s not surprising that this is not a group Astarion is going to let his guard down around I’m sure, or around an MC that sided with the goblins, because fortunes can shift like the wind in a scene like that, and I think his utter lack of surprise at Minthara trying to kill you all (whether or not the MC had a romp with her) is potentially spawned because he recognizes this fact. He’s been here before, in another time, another place, with different faces, but he’s seen this play before. And the MC is just another face for the same old role of a player in this rat race for power when they side with the goblins, aren’t they? The difference this time though is: will they succeed and make it to the top? Is Astarion betting on the winning horse, or not? Far less reason and far more motivation to not be emotionally invested in anyone or anything around him because it’s survival of the fittest, and the most ruthless will be the ones who win—the MC just reinforced that perspective for Astarion, in slaughtering the tieflings. But Astarion isn’t fully corrupted yet, despite however much Cazador has twisted and tormented him so. Isn’t it fascinating, that the MC, one of the first people Astarion can actually interact with relatively freely without Cazador’s puppeteering influence hanging over him quite so acutely, is someone who might very well and very likely will have a huge impact on how Astarion develops and sees the world? For better or for worse, the MC will shape all the companions’ futures and perspectives it seems, depending on their choices. On a meta note, isn’t that thrillingly fascinating and engaging work by Larian Studios? Bravo, honestly. Continuing, for Astarion this could very well just feel like a better but complimentary and thematically continuous segment of the nightmare that is his existence under Cazador as it goes on: he’s a vampire now, and the world is only ever a power struggle between the strong and the weak, and he knows better than to ever be weak again. Kindness and virtue belonged to Before. Before he died, before he turned, before he was taken. Those are things in stories and fairy tales now, that belong to other people, other places and times, other lives—things that belong to the living, not the undead. Sentimentality, more universally-accepted morality, all of those Good™-aligned or softer feelings can feel like they have no place in his world now, on this darker path. But he knows what they are, not just in theory I think, but also perhaps knowing from memory and experience, however distant and faint. The way he speaks on many occasions has subtext that could very well suggest he wasn’t without a better side through implication and emotion. Which is not to say I think he was a shining paragon of virtue before he died—guessing based off of the dev team’s writing of him so far, I’m expecting nuanced and complex but ultimately very human (or elf if you’re being fantasy-based technical) morality with both merits and flaws, for polarizing opinions in the fandom. That being said, I’m holding off judgment on what kind of person he was before he was turned for now despite reading about pre-early-access, preliminary ideas the dev team had for his background. The reason I’m waiting to see what the dev team puts into the game for his backstory of Before, is because some of his datamined lines could be taken in a couple of different ways, and some of his emotional responses as is currently don’t track as truly Machiavellian or I’d say malevolent in nature for manipulation or otherwise. Granted, not all Evil™ acts stem from intentions to be malevolent. Sometimes people do evil both in-game and in life without really intending to, or recognizing that they do, nor seeing the harm they have caused or will cause (I’m looking at you, Mayrina.) Manipulative yes, but so far it’s looked like it’s for defensive purposes in a world that is out to hurt or kill him if given any opportunity whatsoever. Personally I actually wouldn’t even say he’s been really manipulative at all, but your mileage may vary. He lies because he’s afraid you’re going to murder him for being a vampire, and because he doesn’t want to reveal the cause of two centuries’ worth of trauma to someone he just met and likely can’t predict if they’re emotionally safe for him to interact with. Note: “emotionally safe” does not necessarily denote being sympathetic here, so much as “will their response cause me pain in some fashion?” from Astarion’s point of view, which does not necessarily require the MC to be mean to him though obviously that wouldn’t help. We touch upon why sympathy can hurt later on in this essay. And why would he expect sympathy in the other instance, regarding revealing that he’s a vampire? How often would we not murder strange vampires we just met in DND-worlds? Is that not a common response and practice in Faerun for the most part? They’re on the list of acceptable prey for a monster hunter to be kidnapped and taken to who knows what fate (probably nothing good we’re sure), and who would come rescue them? In all actuality: No one. If he wasn’t a companion he’d easily just be one more random encounter to kill—as he and all the companions are in the right circumstances, *cough cough* like when sacrificing anyone to Boooal *cough.* Astarion’s had little cracked moments where he seems to be showing genuine vulnerability, and I’d say he likely displays real genuine emotion plenty of times, just not all the time. While the vulnerable moments could be a ploy, were he the type to actually be fully acting, I’m disinclined to bet that he’d act in the way he does during those moments if he planned them out or even improvised. It could be a mix of both, where it’s both true but also an act of manipulation. Were it the last option, that would require more exploration of his character in various situations to determine imo. I still doubt that though. I think he’s a little too raw and real in his pain, anger, and aggression to say he’s being malevolently manipulative at the end of the day, at least thus far in chapter one. The MC’s choices may change and influence that, on the Evil™ route. I’ve been following some of the fantastic dash discussions on Astarion’s reaction to when the MC tries to comfort him (because of course I have, I’m here for BG3 content and Astarion content especially, aren’t we all here for the same party in his tag? Also hello fellow Astarion stans! :D I hope everyone’s having a good day), and if some of these datamined lines from Pjenn’s blog post are actually implemented and kept as canonical [link], specifically the ones Astarion says regarding heroes, I do think it ties in very strongly with some of what other folks have said regarding his recoiling reaction. Copy-pasted the potential dialogue lines of interest below: Astarion: Heroes. |said with disgust| Astarion: Heroes had two centuries to save me from my torture, but not one came knocking. Astarion: The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came. No, it was the mind flayers that rescued me. Astarion: I spent centuries as the victim of a corrupt man. It was the mind flayers that plucked me away from that. I very much enjoyed all the takes on Astarion’s potential motivations in his response, and I do want to chuck another idea into the fray that supports the vein of ideas that have him being truly afraid and then angry at the MC in that scene, with the speculation including those possible hero lines above as influence. Specifically, I’d like to bring in an outside comparison to part of Molly Grue’s reaction to seeing the Unicorn from The Last Unicorn animated movie for the first time, transcribed below: The Unicorn: I’m here now. Molly: [Bitter laugh] Oh? And where were you twenty years ago? Ten years ago? Where were you when I was new? When I was one of those innocent, young maidens you always come to? How dare you. How DARE you come to me now, when I am this. [begins to cry, heartbroken] Consider Astarion being shown kindness when he is now away from Cazador, not fully free or safe yet but not currently actively fully suffering Cazador’s torment all up close and personal. Consider that only on that very night before he was snatched up by the mindflayers, which might’ve been anywhere from only a day to a handful of days before this conversation about his nightmare, he was going out to falsely smile and lure some innocent—(“No innocents. You have my word.”)—or perhaps not so innocent, beautiful soul back to Cazador’s mansion to very likely die or be turned. How often must he do so? Is it every night he is ordered to go out and condemn someone else to that unfortunate fate? Do you think Cazador killed them cleanly? Quickly? Why would he, instead of agonizingly grinding out any last traces of sympathy his spawn might have through the guilt that they are the ones who “choose” who suffers and likely dies at Cazador’s hands that night? To give the illusion of choice is one abuse/torture tactic that can be used to break a soul that we see often in games: choose who suffers or dies. Cazador is unquestionably a personality who enjoys the psychological aspect of tormenting his victims, as evidenced by giving Astarion the “choice” to be either flayed or to “dine” on a rotting, dead rat, as well as other mentions of how he puts thought into torturing those around him. Astarion is still so fresh from his torment,—torment that is still technically on-going with the very real threats of resuming once more—he is emotionally bleeding enough arterial blood at the seams to fill a sea. His actions, words, and emotions so often metaphorically smell of blood, and not because he’s a vampire and the traditional role of a vampire being a predator among humanoids ironically enough, but because being a vampire spawn means Cazador. And Cazador means horror. Astarion has survived, yes, and it’s been hell. He’s still in hell, because he isn’t free yet. Not truly. It’s a desperate gasp of air, this taste of freedom, to dream that he could be free of Cazador. Imagine his feelings when he’s now in something like freedom, a reminder of what could be, what his life might’ve and likely was like once upon a time, an uncertain here-and-now where he has the possibility—just a possibility, and an unlikely one at that for most ordinary or less-than-ordinary people, not a certainty—of being free, and he’s just admitted to the horror that is Cazador. Admitted in this moment how much Cazador frightens him, how much just the thought of Cazador frightens him, how much the possibility he might be sent back to his master and having his previous tormented existence resumed truly frightens him. And the MC reaches out in sympathy. In acknowledgement that what Astarion has been through is horrifying. To look at this horror and say it is pain, and terror, and awful, that it isn’t normal. It isn’t something to ignore. It isn’t something to pretend is just everyday same old, same old, to numb and take off the edge as much as one can. That Astarion’s pain and fear aren’t to be sought out for entertainment or at best to be willfully neglected in an act of malice. That stark moment of contrast, like night and day, could bring the pain of two hundred years crashing down inside his head, all compressed into one moment. Feelings he tried so hard to survive through, ignore perhaps, suppress: fear, helplessness, loneliness, misery, anger, sorrow, hatred, pain, anxiety, distress, need. Memories, of so many instances that hurt in that moment and then continued to hurt for so long afterwards. How much must it hurt him, wound him, to lift his head for air and have a perspective outside of his suffering that is sympathetic...but knowing that nobody came to save him.  That perhaps, no one ever will, if he loses this so-called freedom and is dragged back under. That those that care, cannot help you. And that those that can help, do not care.  Why would anyone help him at this point after all? He’s a vampire spawn. A classically defined monster in the eyes of society, and he knows it. (”I’m not some monster!” / ”At best, I was sure you’d say no. More likely you’d ram a stake through my ribs.”) He must have been truly desperate in his starvation to chance anyone finding out he’s a vampire in the party. Not surprising, he can’t rest at the end of the day like the other companions can. He has to expend extra energy at that point to find food discreetly after fighting all day, and subpar food at that. (”Animal blood tastes like muck.” verification needed, it’s a conversational line in some branch of the morning-after he asks to bite the MC the first time) He’s not eating breakfast, snacks or lunch during the day, and he isn’t guaranteed to find food while hunting in the woods. Game might be scarce, he can be wounded or exhausted after a long day of fighting, and he wasn’t starting out in the peak of health to begin with either. He is a vampire spawn yes and apparently can take down large game such as boars to drain them, but that is a rough existence to condemn anyone to mechanically speaking. He knows what he’s risking, regardless of his int stat. But he takes that risk anyway. The character who is so survival driven, risking a very high likelihood of expulsion at best or death as the much-more-likely worst outcome of this attempt? His bite isn’t painless, and pain can wake a person up readily enough if they aren’t a deep sleeper, and how deep a sleeper are most people when in an uncertain and unfamiliar wilderness, potentially while hungry and cold, with the fretting fear of a agonizing death looming over their head? Even accounting for a lack of mental clarity from hunger and exhaustion and other factors, I find it deeply unlikely that Astarion is unaware of how big a risk he’s taking with the odds are stacked against him, rogue class or not. And even if he’s just thrown out of the group? He’s alone. Vulnerable. A target to be hunted by a much bigger, meaner predator. One that won’t kill him quickly, we can guess. His odds are much lower, on his own. Specifically his odds of not being dragged back to Cazador...assuming the MC doesn’t just turn him over to Gandrel. How terrifying is it to imagine that your suffering will never end, to be told it will never end, and then you are reminded of what it is like to not suffer for a time. To have felt the painful hope that maybe there is a possibility that you could escape an existence of torment...but knowing you very well might not? It is desperately bleak. It is no great leap of the imagination to hear Astarion saying—(or more likely thinking because this would be terribly vulnerable...but he might say something when pushed because he’s so full of sharp edges and bleeding insides still)—something similar to Molly Grue’s line in his own fashion, is it? Astarion: “[Bitterly laughing, mockingly so. As he speaks his tone breaks, an edge of raw, desperate hysteria slipping through, attached to centuries of pain turned to anger] And where were you two hundred years ago? A hundred years ago? Where were you when I still desperately thought in the deepest parts of my heart that someone might come? When I still had hope?  Astarion: [his voice turns low and venomous, raising in volume and accusation before finishing with a break on the final word “this”, a tonal admittance of how distraught and self-aware he is of what he’s had to do, of what he’s had to become to survive] How dare you. How DARE you say this to me now, when I am this.”  (the above lines are entirely fictional and are not from any in-game, data-mined, or otherwise official source or content) He’s been made to do so many terrible things, even just based off of the few lines we have heard in early access he’s been through so much horror. An hour of torture, a day, a month is so incredibly long. It can have such lasting impact on a person—PTSD, as we know it in this day and age. A year? Five years, ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred? An elf he may be, but from a human perspective...he’s been tortured for lifetimes. Even as an elf, two hundred years is a long time. More than long enough to seriously alter how someone’s brain works—people are both amazingly resilient, but also so incredibly fragile. Cazador has had all this time to play with Astarion’s brain, honestly I find it impressive Astarion has any sense of self left after all this time. That he’s still driven to survive, that he still feels anything at all. (”It doesn’t look broken. But then again, none of us do.”)  It doesn’t surprise me that he’s intensely bitter when encountering the “paladins” of Tyr—(ie Anders and company if you know who I mean—and was that a Dragon Age 2 reference? If not that is an amazing coincidence with the whole Anders-Justice-Vengeance-Demon thing there)—if the MC asks something to the tune of “Don’t you wish someone had helped you when you needed it?” Oh. Oh that had to be a painful question for him. Astarion had his basic needs denied and abused, to ask if he wished that someone had helped him when he needed that and more, and no one came? Why was he denied but the paladins get help? Why does he have to be the hero when no one came for him, when no one very well might come for him when he might still very well be in dire straits in the near future?  I can see the possible desire to inspire sympathy intended in the question from the MC, but it can be so utterly without sympathy to ask that in some contexts, and in Astarion’s case it is. He was being abused and controlled without any way out—Anders and his cohorts opted into the deal with Zariel for personal reasons, not as far as I know under threat of imminent death, and they are relatively capable of fulfilling their end of the bargain barring their current injuries at the time. They certainly have more freedom of choice than Astarion and other vampire spawn ever did, and they were not being tortured right then and there. Warlocks, referring to Anders and co., might even have the option to get out of deals, a la Wyll’s personal questline hook thus far. Astarion can’t get out of his servitude from Cazador. Cazador holds all the cards, makes all the decisions, has all of the power. To compare Astarion’s situation to his face with that of the “paladins”? I’m surprised he wasn’t spitting fury, honestly. They still have normal elements to their day to day life, despite their devil’s deal. They are not being tormented on the daily—yet. They are not in hell—yet. They can get out. They have the possibility. A possibility Astarion didn’t—until now. And isn’t that the most fucked up thing, that it wasn’t a force of Good™ that saved him, but an even bigger monster than Cazador himself? He was saved—by mindflayers, intending some fate that was likely worse for him than before. Even when the Absolute’s hand begins to be revealed in all this, he is still a pawn among monstrous masters. What heroes there are in the world, won’t come for him. They never did before, and they didn’t now. Heroes are for other people, for realities aside from his own. They are for other people, living Other lives. Not his life. Forces of Good™ swooping in to save the day, to correct the wrongs of the world and to make things Right™ just isn’t his normal. Not anymore, if ever it was. His normal was warped by Cazador a long time ago. Is it a stretch of the imagination that if Cazador twisted “dinner” to be a choice between consuming a rotting, putrid rat corpse or being flayed on a nightly basis, turning “poetry” into the memory of a “sonnet” carved into Astarion’s back with a razor over the course of an entire night full of Astarion’s own pained screams? Is it hard to imagine that Cazador also took pleasure in turning other ordinary situations one might encounter in normal life into nightmare versions as well for Astarion and his other spawn? One illithid mind-power option shows Cazador controlling Astarion by holding his chin, though without any further context. Cazador wouldn’t have had to do more than that to invoke terror, after a certain point in time. It seems highly unlikely the gesture wasn’t followed up with more pain, though. Perhaps in that moment when he speaks of his nightmare in the first conversation and the MC reaches out to him in sympathy...Astarion was reminded of something. Multiple somethings, multiple moments, when Cazador reached out to him oh so casually, and it ended in pain and terror. The way the camera is framed as of the current time in early access, the way he flinches away crying “No!” so quiet and low, his eyes wide and staring just so, how he goes so far as to pull back almost entirely out of frame and the camera slowly pans to follow him? Perhaps that is just a stand-in scene, but as it is, even now, it emphasizes that he is I would argue genuinely afraid, and reflexively responding in what is likely his first opportunity to freely respond to his traumatically induced fear. The first opportunity where he wasn’t supernaturally compelled to do exactly as Cazador ordered him to, the first opportunity where he was likely not going to be tormented further for expressing his fear, for having his main tormentor laugh and delight in his distress. The first instance where he for a split second let his guard down, and didn’t expect to be hurt—until the MC reached for him, echoing possible memories of what happened last time someone (Cazador) did that. It’s not Cazador reaching for him. But...it is not Cazador. He doesn’t have to worry about Cazador hurting him right that second, but...will the MC hurt him, like Cazador did? Will they make it look like they’re going to help him, that he can trust them, and then betray him? (”How can you be so cruel?” / “It [Raphael playing games] reminds me of Cazador, taunting his slaves with hope when he knew the game was rigged.”) But they scared him. They scared him, and perhaps for a moment he was back there, in another time and place, where he knows, where he remembers, vividly, perhaps even recently, what normally would have happened to him. And how dare they make him feel that. (“I can do without reliving that particular night, thank you.” [Nightmare about Cazador dialogue, a separate scene if you miss the insight check from the first post-nightmare camp discussion I believe.]) He’s so raw and upset, both aggressive and defensive when he speaks about his nightmares in quite a few of his lines, asking and waiting to explain just why his nightmares are truly so terrifying, especially in the second-nightmare conversation. The way he speaks there, and in other scenes, makes me very disinclined to interpret him as actively intending evil in general so much as having been shaped to be ruthless through a centuries-long trial by fire that he isn’t free and clear of yet. Based off of how he reacts on more than one occasion, I’m personally inclined to take a leaf from Wyll’s book and say I do think he has more than just potential to be good. “Good™” being relative of course to his situation and undead-life—Astarion has GREAT potential as a character to explore not only what it means to be Evil™ aligned, but also what people on the meta perceive as evil, as well as what prejudices we may carry from that labeling.  He is I think very much an excellent walking morality test and ironically a mirror for the player’s character. What kind of person is the MC, in how they treat and interact with him. He is a complicated and morally-entangled character, and it is so very easy to only read him in the here and now within the stark, daylight context of societal’s average norms without looking at the very real, very recent nightmarish Twilight Zone reality he’s lived in that echoes through his words and story thus far. It’s a marvelous bit of echoing reality and real life here by Larian, truth be told: how do you tell people about your life, when it’s been a ceaseless, unending nightmare? With smiles, witticisms, and the occasional polished lie that bleeds out pain, for some folks anyway, including Astarion. He says he’s having more fun at the goblin party, but at the tiefling party? That’s probably the first time he’s been at a normal party where he hasn’t had to obey and fear Cazador’s orders and inevitable torment during or afterwards. That’s the first time in his entire undead existence when he’s been in a social situation like this without being afraid, hurt, or manipulated. It’s not a fun party on its own by his standards, but it is a safe party for him. In a way though, safety can be boring. A luxury, yes, but in this case? For him, boring. And boring...might very well be irritating, in an anxiety-turned-irritation fashion, because he’s not being tormented right this very moment. He should be finding something to enjoy, because in his normal everyday routine? In the day to day that he would expect, that his subconscious expects out of habit? Opportunity for any form of enjoyment must be rare indeed, twisted and tainted by Cazador’s ever looming shadow over every minute of Astarion’s vampiric existence so far. It could be anxiety-inducing, to not seek pleasure or some form of happiness or comfort while there is opportunity for it, in what one perceives as a respite from constant, on-going suffering. (”Why do you insist on exhuming the past?” - when you ask about his past in camp, after you know he’s a vampire. An unpleasant reminder of an unpleasant past, why would he want to dwell on it? He has enough pain to last him multiple lifetimes. Literally.) From the deep, deep depths of prolonged suffering, it can potentially take a great deal more intensity of sensation to feel anything at all, let alone something approaching happiness. (”For the first time in two hundred years, I felt happy.” [presumed Astarion-origin line after drinking from a sleeping companion] / “I feel strong. I feel...happy!” [after MC succeeds in persuading Astarion to stop drinking from their neck after giving him permission to do so.]) This isn’t even taking into consideration how vampirism might have impacted Astarion’s psychology on a metabolic/biochemical level, so to speak. Where Larian goes with that is still to be determined, though my money’s on they give him more a murderous edge and natural inclination—not unlike a Beast-lite version of bloodlust from Vampire: The Masquerade— but still keep his core traits very much human rather than supernaturally-alien/2D-cut-out-monstrous. (Or elvhen, if we’re being fantasy-world-linguistically technical here again.) Touching on the matter of monstrous behavior though...It is a powerfully understated moment of casual cruelty that Larian allows the MC to decide once and once only, if Astarion may also drink from people or only animals. It’s so fitting I don’t believe it to be coincidence that he was a magistrate in his backstory—isn’t the MC passing a judgement too on him, a sentence to change his life for the foreseeable future, possibly forever without realizing or perhaps not caring about the full extent of their actions? And one cannot forget Wyll’s comment about the rat diet. Oh, can you not hear the resonating parallel real life pain from how those ignorant of another’s hurts might unintentionally mock the person and hurt them so? How some might apply their own morality from their own life experiences, without looking at the full extent of the consequences of their actions? A life and perspective that more likely has never been tested under the lash and upon the rack of some of life’s worst possible realities? Even if Wyll and the MC don’t mean to be, it is so very, very cruel. It is beautifully painful, Abdirak and the goddess Loviatar would be proud. (”My mind is finally clear. I feel strong. I feel...happy!”) To be denied not just better food, but the ability to think clearly, to feel well, the actuality of being happy as a norm? It is so very hollow an existence to feel so constantly weak of both body and mind, and oh isn’t it just the richest thing, that an MC might echo Cazador’s choice and power over Astarion thusly? It’s enough to make one laugh an Evil Laugh™ of appreciation at just how unthinkingly, horribly cruel a person can potentially be while playing a Good™ character. This is actually a level of genius on Larian’s part that I wonder how many in the audience will actually look at and appreciate the subtle horror of. The horror that we do this too, in real life, sometimes without ever knowing the seemingly small, far-reaching ripples of harm an unthinking phrase or comment can do when we don’t take another’s reality into consideration—that we don’t know what it is we don’t know. It is a fine piece of storytelling, to offer up a story with so many facets to reflect upon. It’s so beautifully crafted that Astarion speaks and dresses like a noble, that he can so easily be perceived as a person of privilege at first glance should one merely look at some of his surface behaviors and inclinations—remnant trappings of his distant past most likely, from once upon a time. It’s a delightful reveal and subversion that he, I think we can safely say, isn’t that. Perhaps he was, once, but he isn’t at this point in his life, not anymore. Appearances are deceiving, and doesn’t that just tie so nicely right into some of Astarion’s potential themes and behaviors? The lies that crack open as truth and pain come bleeding out from underneath? I do wonder how many of Larian’s audience have known hunger—and not known when the next meal will happen, what it might be, if it will have strings attached? The kind of hunger that follows you everywhere, that roots down into your bones and hollows out a home there forever more? It changes how a person sees things, how they act, how they think, even when they’re removed from being hungry all the time. One doesn’t need to be skin and bones to feel like one is starving constantly,—(I very much enjoy that headcanon just to clarify, I’m not intending to throw shade in any of this or future rambling)—to be kept on a hollow diet of empty calories that are enough to keep your heart pumping, but your body struggles because it doesn’t have the nutrients it needs in the amounts it needs? To feel your mind fog over with exhaustion and blanketed despair, a primal and low level desperation whittled down into a tired and numb, anxious background static from adrenal fatigue? Miscellaneous aches, pains and problems that seem unrelated but in reality, if only you knew, were because your body can’t function the way it should ideally, because you don’t have what you truly need? A very real problem in real life, for far too many people. And oh, the beautiful, casual, so very human monstrousness Larian lets us exercise here, knowing or unknowing. It is such a powerful, understated cluster of ideas. And I think Larian knew—someone on the dev team did their homework on both traditional starvation but also what one might call masked-starvation as no doubt other tumblr folks have also speculated, just based off of what we’ve seen and because of that Happy buff Astarion gets when he uses his Vampiric Bite ability in combat. It fits right into his whole theme of “what makes a monster and what makes a man?” (Sing the bells of Notre Dame~♪) But not necessarily asking that question only of him. Rather, asking it also of the MC. This fits into the game’s whole theme with the tadpoles, the choice of using the power and turning into “Something More Beautiful” as Minthara put it, of taking the darker path, it all fits so very well. I just want to applaud this because it’s not a major story-beat moment. It’s a companion-side-quest moment. It’s going to be for the most part seen as a combat-game-mechanic and head-canon defining moment, deciding if Astarion may feed on people or not. I doubt we’d see Larian actually changing Astarion’s demeanor much in how he delivers lines with a “allowed to drink people blood” code flag, as cool as that might be. It very well could factor into later outcomes but for voice acting I doubt they’ll make an entire second/third/etc set of each line spawning from that one seemingly small choice. It makes me very hopeful that Larian can handle such weighty themes so deftly thus far—we’ll have to wait and see if they can stick the landing once the game is finished, but boy oh boy their nuance and delivery so far is strong as steel and sharp as a double-edged sword right out of the gate. The studio is in a fantastic position to explore and to challenge people’s thoughts and ideas regarding character builds like Astarion’s imo, depending on how the dev team chooses to play it out. Seeing some of Gale and Shadowheart’s dialogue trees from the goblin party, I have high hopes that the dev team will allow a great deal of exploration and flexibility all across the moral spectrums, not only allowing us the option to drag the more seen-as-good-aligned characters down paths of moral corruption,—(note: I’m including Shadowheart in more neutral-ish territory for now but the fact that she seems to feel emotionally ill—guilty, one could say—at the goblin party and is busy trying to get drunk to drown that feeling out suggests to me she Definitely does have a more good-aligned moral compass to a nuanced degree)—but also the chance to drag more seen-as-evil-aligned characters along the path to more traditionally good endings and persuade them to see the benefits of playing nice with others per more classic Good™ societal rules (subjectively speaking ofc.) But Larian is also in a very precarious place too—speaking strictly of just the one character as the focus of this essay, Astarion resonates very easily through that very real fear, pain, anger, bitterness and so many other emotions as a result of what he has survived, is still surviving through, and struggling against: trauma. How bitter indeed would it be should a character—that people with very deep, real pain can relate to—not get at least the option for a well-crafted, hopeful and merciful epilogue? Oh the sympathetic pain that Larian could reap could be pain of the very worst kind, if they condemn him to only death and darkness with bleak endings that lack nuance and care. I’ve seen some posts where people worry about Astarion not potentially having a good ending, with possible unspoken implications that he might be railroaded into betraying the MC. I’d like to say that I think a lot of his subtext, even looking at the instances where he lies and the datamined details of the voice-acting-directions, would run counter to railroading him to only ever betraying the MC. I think straight betrayal is going to run as mostly antithetical to his core themes in a way. He might betray your MC—but it will likely be because the MC betrayed him first in a myriad of small ways, or in a big way. Approval-rating-system based choices are a very real possibility too, separately or as a part of the equation naturally, in addition to your major in-game choices. That would also include the scenario of betrayal through using the tadpole powers enough to be mind-controlled into having no will of his own, much like the other characters, including the MC. I do think we have plenty of good, solid reason to be very hopeful that he will have a possible good continuation—not ending. A continuation where he manages to free himself from Cazador with the help of his companions or perhaps dare he even say friends, manages to begin the process of healing the immediate pains of his trauma and learning how to truly live with all that he’s been through and all that he’s done, to have the possibility of not only living but living both happily and well for the most part? Who knows what else Larian Studios might have in the works for him and the other companions, as well as the MC and the story of Baldur’s Gate 3. But good outcomes for all seems like it very likely could happen, for all of the companions. His wiki page’s summary tagline hook in particular offers up that implied promise from the developers to the audience, I would say, “Astarion prowled the night as a vampire spawn for centuries, serving a sadistic master until he was snatched away. Now he can walk in the light, but can he leave his wicked past behind?” What that promise is, varies from creator to creator. In this case, based on the wording, I would say that potentially implies a satisfyingly well-crafted and engaging story wherein we find out and determine if the answer to that question is yes or no, and in a DND-based RPG full of choices that have an impact on the people and world around you? In a game genre that has a history of multiple, varied endings for your companions based on how you play? That checks out. Larian so far has been handling things admirably well in my opinion, and I’m willing to invest emotionally in this story they’re telling with the trust that they will deliver a good continuation and conclusion. But on the off-chance that somehow Astarion’s endings all turn out painful and tragic on the meta for the fanbase, that the associated intentional or unintentional messages wound and grieve those who recognize and resonate most strongly with the pains he has felt? On that off-chance, in that instance where we are left bereft and disappointed because of what happened to him or any of the companions or the story itself should somehow things go awry, then it would be your right to ask Larian the very same question Astarion asked you once: How can you be so cruel?