#so wild to me that NTs dont get this

[cosmicyellow]

When you're autistic with only two hobbies those hobbies become the primary sources of mental health but then the autism puts pressure on those hobbies to provide the feel good chemicals and then you feel overwhelmed with the pressure of making the Right Choice™ so you don't pick either and you end up not doing any of your hobbies and just lie there with paralysing boredom AND indecision 🧍

[crepuscularqueens]

anyway once i was dating a girl who wanted to have a child not out of any real desire to be a mother but as a weird experiment because she wanted to know what the physical and psychological effects would be on her. i truly hope she does not ever do that.

[writingmeraki]

tag games 🎉

rules : write a favorite among your works, your least favorite work, and one you think deserves more hype. Then, also post a screenshot of your recently saved on Pinterest.

aight let's get this bread!!!!

tagged by : @tranquilpetrichor ( thank u for the tag mwuahhh 🫂)

tagging moots ( no pressure to do this but I'd love to see your responses too hehe ) :

@kpdlvr2 ; @bambikisss ; @misoxhappy ; @enluv ; @weoris ; @redm4ri ; @hsgwrld ; @strxwberry-skiess ; @hqrana ; @invuwrld ; @seungiepup ; @byuqi 💗

also u can join if u want to !!

[ favourite works ]

angel kisses

I don't even think I need to explain this tbh, it's pretty simple but ah just the idea of it is so so cute to me :( I find moles so beautiful and when I learnt they are also called angel kisses, this idea was born lol, gotta be one of my fave drabbles definitely

[ 11 : 37 ]

lol this one was v v random ??? but like it was so fun to write too...yeah I just like the cuteness of it ^^

you're no good for me

now this one was my biggest oneshot so far and man I hit some points of hating it but in the end I was pretty happy with it ^^ I'm glad many liked this as well :)

all my hcs !

lmao I only have like two rn but idk I find hcs fun to write kinda like a mini short stories with the writer inserting their own notes in between dialogues....or at least that's how I write mine 💀

[ least favourite works ]

fools of love

HEAR ME OUT hear me out before you end me for this but BUT this is one of my first works on here, I wrote this in a damn hospital 😭 KDJSKAKKW it was wild ngl. but like the first chapter is alright, I feel like the problem comes in at the second because if I'm being honest my ass did NOT plan it out well, I just...went with the flow?!#?#?? it got random and I felt it could have been done way way better !

worth it ?

dang another guesung one....dont k word me for this pls I beg............it was rushed and um yeah that's probably one of the main reasons its my least fave...but good news I might just re do the whole blind date plot...someday....sometime.

[ works that deserve more hype ]

hey stupid, I love you !

its actually not a problem of people not hyping it but mostly cause the sk nt community/fanbase here is pretty small...no one's fault but I hope more people get into them cause they deserve it !

blood red strings

hear me out I love this oneshot, I love the idea of it but maybe I didn't portray it well enough which I hope to redeem by making it into a proper fic sometime.

[ screenshot of last saved on pinterest]

( u will ignore the fact that they are hyung line enha pics more and not because I need them for something....)

um yeah that's basically about it ! I can't really think of anything more rn, still thank u fro reading all the way till here hehe <3

[blole-hack]

me when i was younger: man, I've got no problems with autistic people, but they're llike aliens, man... they have no idea how to human.

ALSO ME when i was younger: I'm a literal alien. I have no goddamn clue on what to do here. How am I supposed to make friends??? How am i supposed to deepen relationships???? what am I doing??? how do I make facial expressions in ways people won't think I'm weird??? how do i talk better??? people are talking behind my back and I'm excluded because I dont fit in naturally. what do i do? people think I'm annoying... I'm trying my best to be interesting and act like I care in ways they do, but its so tiring that I literally have no more energy to do anything else for school. I'm so anxious about it all the time. People are gonna leave me for being like this. People keep saying no one cares and that I'm just trying to act quirky for opening up about it but I'm genuinely,, i genuinely dont know what to do??? People keep excluding me??? People talk about stuff to me but I have nothing to say about it how am i even supposed to reply or keep a conversation going? i just can't keep up, i dont understand how everyone's getting along so naturally while I'm not. people keep misinterpreting my face and voice, i have to adjust to not be interpreted as an asshole. now people think I'm too childish. now people only like me for how I act like. i cant stop. or else people are gonna leave me. I'm "too serious" no one's gonna like me. I'm so tired. there's too much stuff going on. I can't think. I have to research how to make friends and how to act in every social interaction and how to keep relationships and I don't even know if people like me or not.

idk how i only put two and two together recently

BONUS: ALSO, I REALLY thought autistic people were strange from a distance, but I get along better with my autistic friends and relatives compared to my NT friends *slams face on table*

tbh, being autistic isn't even that wild??? i thought it was something crazy. im only one point in the spectrum but the more i think about the entire spectrum its not even that wild. it was always kinda portrayed as something bizarre. tbh neurotypicals are more bizarre- i mean idk maybe i misdiagnosed myself but *shrugs*

[dirt-grub]

people who shit on folks who need therapy animals shut up challenge 

[aj521z]

Olympic Roster

Okay since I keep getting asked, this would be my guess for Vlatko’s olympic roster (+ my irrelevant opinion) assuming there are no r*tirements/injuries. I’m including like the rotation pools too.

GK (2): Alyssa Naeher, Ashlynn Harris (but I have a gut feeling AH might change by next year 👀dont @ me)

Pool: Aubrey Bledsoe/Adrianna Franch/Jane Campbell

Decision if AH out: Out of the 3, I’d take Franch. Just haven’t seen Bledsoe play on NT at all so idk her under that type of pressure; the times Jane played, Jill royally fucked her confidence 🙄

Def (6): Kelley O’Hara, Abby Dahlkemper, Becky Sauerbrunn, Crystal Dunn

Pool: Tierna Davidson/Emily Sonnett/Ali Krieger/Midge Purce/Casey Short

Decision on last 2 spots: little t is a fucking savage when she is alive and well, but has been screwed by injuries I need to see her back fit again to properly analyze; Sonnett is bulletproof like never gets injured, so that’s a huge plus; AK I just don’t know, she hasn’t had any play time in forever, I’m less likely to take her; Midge is my wild card since they’ve been trying to convert her here. She has mad potential, I’m here for it and she can obv play forward, so versatility, which is vital in the olympics; Casey is such a strong defender and is FAST getting up into the attack and creating plays, but fucking INJURIES. Same situation as little t). 

If I had it my way? Leaving for the olympics rn w/o injuries + full form I’d take Tierna and Casey or Sonnett (hot take? idk. t and short play on the same team, adds chemistry, Casey is underrated af)

Mid (5): Julie Ertz, Lindsey Horan, Rose Lavelle, Sam Mewis

Pool: Andi Sullivan/Morgan Brian/Allie Long (nope not happening)/Jordan DiBiassi

Decision on last spot: Andi oml poor bb. Her injuries have been absolutely wack. She is such a smart mid and if she can stay healthy, I’m taking her out of the options; Moe is so injury prone and it’s just not realistic in the olympics. Barely feel like I’ve seen her play over the past couple years ugh; Allie nope the end; Jordan has potential, but she was only called in once and idk if she’ll break in.

If I had it my way? Leaving for the olympics rn w/o injuries + full form I’d take Andi

Fwd (5): Tobin Heath, Christen Press, Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe, Carli Lloyd (I hate it sm, but I think US soccer is gonna let her have it, the hoes)

Pool: Mal Pugh/Jessica McDonald/Lynn Williams/Sophia Smith/Midge Purce (I know I put for def too, but throwing her in here as well)/Ashley Sanchez (I know she’s not in the current pool, but I’m adding her lol)

Decision on last spot (if Carlos somehow goes away and leaves a spot open): Mal has been wrecked with inconsistent form for a while now and I hate it bc the potential is strong, I think Jill messed her up what’s new; Micky D I don’t see it happening, no way there are just better options; Lynn... I still don’t think she’s NT material. Consistency is everything, especially in the olympics, which is fast paced and there’s no time to develop form, you gotta be on point asap; Sophia is a biiiiit too new I think still. There’s no way she would be in Tokyo rn and I don’t think she’ll quite break in by next year. Promising tho!; Midge. I. Like. Midge. She’s versatile (vital on an 18 woman roster) and just has that fire in her where she wants to get things done and does them well. She played really well for pdx during the WC. Needs a bit of polishing here and there as sometimes she’d hold the ball and try to play hero, but by next year, I think she could contend; Sanchez. I’ve always liked her. She was a bright spot for the U-20s and UCLA and I liked what I saw in the Challenge Cup so far. Keeping my eye out.

If I had it my way? Leaving for the olympics rn w/o injuries + full form I’d take Midge

tldr:

GK: Naeher, Harris

D: KO, Abby, Broon, Dunn, Tierna, Short (Sonnett if short injured)

M: Linds, JJ, Rose, Sam, Andi

F: Heath, CP, Alex, Pinoe, Lloyd 🙄(Midge if CL somehow blesses us and retires)

[kachinnate]

for the ask thing: Trust Issues + Darkfic + “Do not tell anyone you saw this.” go wild

send me prompts!

16 (trust issues) + f (darkfic) + 38 (”Do not tell anyone you saw this.”)

Today feels.. off. 

  And not in the floaty, surreal ‘oh-my-god-it’s-happening’ weirdness that comes with it being his last first day of school. Jared genuinely felt like something, something, wasn’t fucking right, but he couldn’t pinpoint what the hell it was. 

  It was probably something stupid, like. Something he maybe forgot to do in his morning routine, or whatever. 

  But regardless, it was off-putting and he kind of hated it. 

  He couldn’t shake it, try as he might. The day kept going, and he kept feeling more.. just, misplaced? The only person he could imagine talking to about it was Evan, but he hadn’t seen the kid anywhere today. 

 @TheInsanelyCool_JK [8:45am] very lame of u to chicken out on the /first day/ 

@TheInsanelyCool_JK [9:58am] ….okay wait are you seriously not showing up evan wtf 

   He doubted that that was the weird thing. Or, at least, the only weird thing. The weird thing that was off-putting. Evan not being around or talking to him was, unfortunately, not something super out of the ordinary. 

  Anyway. 

  Sitting alone at lunch would’ve undoubtedly made him feel even worse (unconsciously, whether or not he wanted to admit it, he had been planning on sitting with Evan), which is how Jared found himself walking to the computer lab. If you could believe it, his AP calc teacher was the type to assign homework on the first day, due by Thursday, so he figured he might as well get a start on it since he wasn’t doing anything else, right?

  The first sign that he should’ve turned right back around and walked his happy ass out of there was the printer choosing the moment he walked in to whirr to life, scaring the absolute shit out of him. 

  “Jesus,” he hissed, jerking back a little, watching the little lights on the printer start blinking. It made a bunch of clicking noises, as printers do, before spitting out a single sheet of paper and then shutting off again. 

  Jared blinked, glancing up. 

  ..well. It didn’t look like anyone else was here. 

  Maybe it was someone from, like, a nearby classroom that connected to the wrong printer? 

  He couldn’t tell you why he felt the need to pick up the paper to see what it was. 

  Cue the second sign that he shouldn’t be in here.

  …

  dear connor murphy,

stop killing yourself stopstop stop that’s why i can’t get OUT of here, it keeps repeating and i ca nt get it to stop and its your fault it has to be what else could it fucking be???

just don’t!! and stay away from me!!! 

i dont know what else to try anymore i thin/k this might be pointless 

writing the letter doesn’t help and not writing the letter doesnt help i dont know how tto help you you wont LISTEn when i try to explain it t o you or talk you down i just want you out of my life and i want out of THIS for fucks saake 

i dont know why you’d think this but if you’re connor’s parents he didn’t write this letter, ple ase leave me alone please stay away from me 

sincerely,  me

... 

Oookay. Alright. Awesome. That’s not fucking terrifying or ominous at all. 

  Someone making fun of Connor Murphy wasn’t anything new at all, but.. this was on a whole other fucking level, right? What the fuck was going on? 

  “..Jared?!” 

  Cue his second almost heart attack. 

  Jared flinched back, eyes immediately snapping up to the source of the voice. It had sounded familiar the moment he registered someone else was speaking to him, and sure enough, upon looking up, it was, in fact, Evan. 

  “Jesus fucking Christ, dude, you can’t sneak up on people like that,” Jared snapped, the free hand not holding the piece of paper moving to rest over his heart. It’s thudding like fucking crazy in there, if just hearing it in his ears wasn’t telling enough. 

  When Evan doesn’t say anything, Jared takes a moment to actually look at him, look back at the wildly terrified eyes staring back at him, and..

  There’s kind of a lot to take in. 

  Namely, the fact that Evan’s arm is in a cast, and that it looks like he hasn’t slept in days. His typical anxious energy has been replaced with, like, this crazed hysterical panic, because the second-hand feel Jared is getting off of him is, like, scaring him. A lot. 

  There’s dark circles under his eyes. And he’s shaking badly, like Jared had been the one to almost give him heart failure in the middle of the computer lab. 

  “What’s wrong with you?” Jared manages, trying to mask the unease settling over every inch of him. 

  Evan blinks hard, eyes flickering from Jared, and then to the paper in Jared’s hand. 

  “I.. did you get that from..?” Evan completely ignores the question, twitchy eyes flicking up to the printer and then back to the page. 

  “I..” Jared glances down at the paper, and then warily back up to Evan. “This.. is this yours?” 

  Evan doesn’t respond verbally. He does, however, rip the paper out of Jared’s hands. 

  “What the fuck?!” Jared hisses, the quick action again scaring the shit out of him. He can’t even tell anymore if he’s being unnecessarily jumpy, but he’d like to say that all things considered it’s pretty fucking warranted. “Evan, what the hell is going on? What is that?” 

  “Don’t..” Evan starts to say, taking trembling steps back. He has no reason to look as horrified as Jared feels, panicked eyes looking back and forth between the paper and Jared. “I.. I don’t think this will.. it’ll.. change anything.. He’s not.. you’re..?” 

  He murmurs other shit too, under his breath. Jared can’t hear him. 

  Jared needs to get out of here, literally every nerve in his body is screaming at him to run, but at the same time he knows that he has no reason to be scared of Evan, it’s fucking Evan. 

  Right? 

  “Evan?” Jared tries again, taking a very hesitant step forward. 

  Evan must have decided on something, because his wide eyes suddenly snap back up to Jared and stay there. “Do not tell anyone you saw this,” he says, voice low. 

  “What are you fucking talking about, dude—?!”

  Evan shoves past Jared, the computer lab door slamming shut behind him a few seconds later.

[ofmerrit]

*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *

alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.

starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”

merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 

the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.

life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.

doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 

she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf

personality stuff !!!

uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 

can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .

the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip

LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 

an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??

loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .

extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3

likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.

i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 

has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip

!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it

safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 

UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !

connection ideas !!!

childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 

penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.

a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.

betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )

exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .

bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk

saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step

a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .

a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 

ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward

these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 

something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.

give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

[kristalpepsi]

hello! i dont wanna seem like im bein rude but im just curious, what u have against ships with kris? IM NOT SAYIN ITZ BAD!!! im just curious is all... AND IM SORRY OF I PHRASED THIS REALLY BADLY, i just dont wanna follow you in case i make you uncomfortable (mainly cuz i kin kris and hc them as an enby lesbian...) and i wanna just make sure before hand!

Hey!! Ok so the ships i lstd in my bio is very spcfc bc- well 1st thngs 1st, hewwo, i’m a fictive! I’m not kin of kris, i am an intrjct of kris deltarune dreemurr, i’m in a system 👀 i wnt go on abt it 2 much in case u already kno what a system is/what fictives/introjects r

Tbh i cant stop u frm intrctng w me, b the rsns i mentioned these ships spscfclly is bc

1) Krisei = i c ralsei 2 b RLLY close 2 my bro he looks likes asriel n it makes me feel Rlly Weird, n half the ships that hav me n him r me being hyper feminzd or vice versa n thats wild, b the biggst rsn is that ralsei looks like asriel n is implied 2 b asriel, thats Wack, very wack

2) Krisriel = we are SIBLINGS, just bc its not by blood dsnt mean were nt fmly?? I kno u ddnt say u ship this, b 4 those who do, yall sick, n thats so not fair 2 adopted kids worldwide yo

3) Krusie = My rsns 4 this r less concrete if i were a singlet, b as a fictive i c her as Only my best friend, n if yall ship me w her, my big fear is ppl comin 2 my blog lookin 4 that content n tagging my posts as a ship when i mean it in a friend way. If yall ship this i dnt h8 u b like, im prsnlly uncomfy EDIT Jan 2021: PS. I alrdy said it in a ‘future’ post aftr thise ws made, b if ur a fictive n ur canon involvd krusie thn I’m ok w tht! we cnt chnge our canons n havin tht b ur canon is compltly diffrnt thn if u were a Singlet comin up 2 my blog shippin in instd of livin it- idk if thise mkes sens

4) kruselle = While i did hav a crush on Noelle in my prsnl canon @ som point, i dnt like the ship rn (PRSNLLY) bc i 100% fully support a gay lesbian couple out here, + ive met a susie who dates a noelle. Also in my canon prsnlly my Susie n Noelle tried gttng 2gthr/got 2gthr n i jst dnt feel the same way anymr. Meta-wise, i kno its jst a theory, i knda like, dnt wnna take away that gay rep, idk, prsnlly i jst feel weird seeing art of us tgthr, i dnt feel the sme anymr abt my Noelle esp bc Susie n her got 2gthr

5) krusielle = we r all friends n u think i dnt c the parts of the fandom that sexualzs thise? I Rlly Do, can we not b highschoolrs n not b all frnds

Disclaimer: i said it earlier b ill say it again, i’m b a fictive/intrjct of my source, b as a Kris/as myself, n since ur askin me prsnlly this is my rsns,,, if u shipped me w litrlly any1 else i wldnt care DLJEKSJJ ive seen shippings of me n berdly n i spprt. N b4 i get bumped, if ur a fictive who likes these ships or r in these ships, dnt take my word as law bc again these r based on my prsnl stuff n my canon, mayb in ur canon the ship is 100% or even did happen, i wldnt b mad @ u 4it tht wld b weird

The only ships i 100% condemn in krisei n krisriel, n u cant chnge my mind im srry

Thanks 4 being consdr8 enough 2 ask tho :,^/ im srry if somwer here ininvalid8d smth if u like 1 of these shps

It dsnt mean its wrng (unless its krisei or krisriel) i jst have very strng prsnl feelings abt it

[littlebabycrybtch]

hot take? ik pro recovery has a broad definition or w/e but uh no matter what you should all definitely wholeheartedly accept, listen to, support and protect the rights of every single mentally ill and disabled person whether or not they are recovering, have recovered, or plan to recover, and do this Completely unconditionally bc. oh idk at any point in that timeline they are still fucking mentally ill and disabled either way, and need your support as a literal oppressed minority no matter what personal disagreements you have, E-FUCKING-SPECIALLY if you are nt and/or able bodied (aka capable of being an oppressor to us which includes when you ignore us or try to talk over us/tell us what to do with our bodies), and frankly if any of your ideas of us make you go against this, they are ignorant ideas and you are so Very simply just an ableist. like why do you think you get to have a say in what we have to do with our own mental illness and disability that We are the ones living with. why do you only want us if we’re trying our hardest to not be what we are. why do you think you get to reject some of us and even dare say its More supportive of us that way and that you’re an activist for it. hating us wont help any of us get any sort of treatment but it will especially not aid the ones struggling the MOST with recovery, which makes this whole thing a selfish fake moral crusade all about you pushing YOUR ideas of health and functioning. fighting oppression is not a fucking pick and choose game. if you frequently drop minorities that dont meet your standards or have personal self-affecting ideas that differ from yours, if you arent respecting our differences and protecting all of us, then you are contributing to our oppression, end of story. “i’ll only support you if you’re rejecting yourself” will always be a vile and inherently oppressive outlook to have on any type of minority, and its honestly so pathetic and wild that nts/ableds are all presuming any misery with our identity must come from ourselves and not conforming hard enough, and not ever Possibly from you, the conformist oppressor, threatening to abandon us if we dont comply with your demands.

tldr, i will be disabled until i die and ik how to be happy with what ive got, if you are waiting for that to change before you decide to fully respect me as a minority deserving of your support with no strings attached, you’re genuinely nothing but a hateful oppressor and i will spit on you from the grave. 

[matoitech]

💕💔🏳️‍🌈 of ur choice!

tysm!! im gonna do.. promare cuz i always wanna talk abt it lol

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

oo ok i choose lio for this cuz i thought ppl might need a break from my galo loveposting lol, and i just talked abt aina recently. anyway here goes! i dont talk abt lio that much which is wild cuz i love him so much. he has the best aesthetic first off cuz 17 belts total on an outfit really is something and i think its cool of him to find something he liked and stick with it even if what he liked is just, belts. belts and black leather is to lio what chains are to kurapika. hes also just rly cool in general!! hes genuinely a rly nice person which i wish ppl would remember, hes emotional and cares a lot about people and protecting those who cant protect themselves. his whole thing is caring so much about people!!!! its powerful. i think its cute that its canon that hes good w kids and they like him, and i think him becoming a firefighter with galo post-canon is cool cuz hes still helping people for a living. i love that he loves his friends and the people hes trying to protect so much and thats so obvious that theyre all ride or die for him too! his relationship w gueira and meis makes me emo in a good way, when they sacrifice themselves for him in the desert after he gets shot so he can escape and keep fighting i always get a little teary. also i love his mech and his huge motorcycle and the colors for his fire and dragon lio is SUPER COOL even though within the context of the movie its sad its a rly neat design and i love how its animated. i like his weapons he goes through a LOT of different kinds of fire weapons and theyre all rly cool looking.. his fighting style is so cool.. i love his relationship w galo theyre rly important to each other in soo many ways it makes me emo. idk i just rly like his whole deal i love him a lot. i like that we know next to nothing about his backstory so you can pretty much slap whatever you want in and its all totally possible lol. he has a lot less to work with then galo but that kinda makes it fun!

💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.

i hate kr*y but im not gonna talk abt him cuz he makes me so mad. also not gonna talk abt heris cuz i said smth abt her recently that summed up my feelings for her pretty well, which are just, “i dont care about what happens to her cuz she’s gonna be in just as big of trouble as kray is, im more worried for aina going through what galo had / is having to go through realizing the person theyve looked up to their whole lives is not who they thought they were”. 

instead i choose remi for this, a random side character in galos burning rescue squad that i have always hated and i have no idea why i just see him and im like >:( perhaps one reason could be cuz ppl pay more attention 2 him than they do 2 like, aina, who has way more lines and is more important in general. the only reason ppl like remi is bc hes an anime man with glasses idk hes just rly boring theres nothing about him that interests me

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you? 

ok im gonna bullet point list im so sorry but you DID ask

the good characters being trans are all important 2 me, specifically galo being trans cuz i think no cis man is THAT excited about not wearing a shirt. my specific hc for him is transmasc nonbinary. also hes gay but thats canon

characters i can think of off the top of my head that r trans r galo, lio, aina, lucia, varys, ignis, gueira, meis, thyma who is still alive in my Head Canon, and uh. idk maybe the pizza guy why not. am i forgetting anyone. 

autistic & adhd galo is very important. basically canon. it doesnt make sense within the context of the narrative for him to be nt, so,

on that note lio, aina, lucia, and varys are also all autistic

galo and lio have psychosis because i want them to :)

a lot of them have ptsd canonically (or like. i dont see them NOT having it after every seriously potentially traumatizing event theyve had happen in their lives. but thats the same as canonically imo) so thats like important 2 me also

i could be forgetting something but other than that all my hcs are just hcs, a lot of them r me being projecty but they dont have a rly big level of like, importance 2 me beyond a little smiley when i think abt them

[mieczyhale]

because tumblr is the way that it is i have no idea what you have/nt seen?? so i guess here’s just all the recent TUA-related shit ;snklfd @hellomyguru

it sure would be nice of them to notify people about notifications wouldn’t it??

my tags on this post:: #y e s #okay like i love the lil klaus they gave us #for sure#but klaus has curls?? and bby didnt really?? and like it makes sense bc considering reginald's.. everything.. he would have done whatever he#could to tame them / keep them under control yknow?? he doesnt like different and he doesnt like things that arent prim and proper#which is what he'd consider curls to NOT be#esp. with how wild those curls woulda been like#and i mean i know adult klaus's hair was more mess & not really curly but towards the end of the season you could def see his hair rebelling#so #anyway #here's wonderwall 

my tags on this post::   #klaus and dave#even if you play it with dave being 30 too instead of 40 this is still fucking funny#i can imagine this interaction perfectly and it kills me sfhkdjccj

a post on my change in how i tag my original TUA posts

a question you asked that i answered

a post on klaus, reginald, and medicine

a shitpost about dave

my reply to a reply on my broken jaw post

my reply to your reply on my broken jaw post

my tags on this post:: #does klaus know what he threw out tho?? like he barely glanced at the stuff he pulled out of the box before throwing it away#he clearly thought that whatever it was wasnt important - i mean he also wouldnt have cared bc gotta get them drugs baby but still#and at what point would he have told five that he threw out some of their dads shit?? like.. at which interaction would that have made sense#the dumpster?? not really. five immediately declares he doesn't care what klaus is doing and then klaus is distracted by the opportunity to#get some money in an easier way than normal and then he bit into a dumpster bagel and five was leaving. he left.#OH and now that im thinking more about it - klaus refers to the stuff from the box as 'priceless crap' / 'priceless shit' so there's a#chance he A. really didnt pay attention to what he was throwing away - which makes sense considering his desperation#or B. he forgot. drugs arent known for being great for your memory and then a lot of shit went down really fast so..#the lab?? also wouldnt have made sense for a few reasons but mostly bc at no point did they talk about anything other than fake eyes and#relationships. during the family meeting that five appears in the middle of?? maybe. but five had a very narrow focus and the others#talked a lot and over each other and the whole time klaus is off to the side sick - very clearly having a hard time focusing and staying#upright and again - a lot has fucking happened - so there's no way he would've even considered the papers from 10 months ago as being#relevant. IF he remembered them at all.#oh and then he didnt even really acknowledge the apocalypse thing until episode 6 and he spent all of episode 4 being tortured#and he came back and spent episode 5 just trying to adjust to being back - having just lost dave and left a warzone - and he just.. has his#grief to deal with so nothing else is even on his radar#what im saying is#there's a lot going on and there never would've been a time to bring it up even if he did know/remember what he threw away#in my big dumb pan opinion#i know this post isnt that serious but i read it and had to word vomit#anyway #sgkskccj #carry on y'all

my tags on this post::   #oh shit fuck!!! this!!!!!! im always here for emotions and powers being tied - ESPECIALLY when people dont know it#including the person who has the powers like... everyone being oblivious fucks#which is kind of why i agree with and support klaus's powers being tied to his emotions. 1. people just out here being completely oblivious#and ignorant towards klaus and everything related to him and 2. klaus being just as oblivious like.. between over half a lifetime of#substance abuse and addiction?? that happened in the first place bc klaus was terrified of and hated his powers?? there is so much that he#can do. i personally believe he's incredibly powerful and the longer he stays sober the more everybody is gonna see that#and none of them will expect it. tbh also?? i firmly believe - despite his alien status and knowing things - that not even reginald#had any fucking idea. bc i mean he clearly had no real idea of how klaus's powers worked. his training decisions proved that. his#experiments proved that. is there anything in canon to support any of this hc - you ask - why yes. yes there is. in my opinion of course. i#know not everyone sees things the same way. but 1. klaus returning from vietnam. he beat up the suitcase p well but while it sparks?thats it#and throwing it isnt - on its own - going to make it explode. thats just not believable. its a time traveling briefcase. that shits STURDY#and if im remembering right - it didnt explode right away. it didnt happen until klaus screamed and i dont think thats a coincidence#he does have telekinesis after all. and 2. making ben corporeal in the last episode. that did not seem like a conscious decision. he ran#into that room. got shot sat. ducked. and then suddenly he has glowing hands and bentacles was seen by all. it all happened in a matter of#seconds and it would've freaked anyone out but with his powers klaus wanted ben there - he wanted ben to help - even if he didnt know it#himself. in one second he had elevated emotions - elevated anxiety and possibly fear and he wanted to do something just.. ANYTHING. he#wanted to not die and he wanted his siblings to not die and he wanted to help but he alone couldnt and ben is his closest#brother - sorry not sorry - and then also sorry not sorry but ptsd?? from vietnam and guns?? yeah. so everything just.. fell together and#it triggered his powers. and i can see that happening a lot. he's having a hard day and he can see dave and talk to him but he#cant be held by him and it just makes everything worse and suddenly dave is THERE there and klaus doesnt know how he did it but w.e#he's just so happy he did. and he accidentally conjures patch while he and diego are talking about her and diego thinks klaus did it on#purpose. to hurt him? idk. but he's pissed and klaus is just confused - not really registering the heartache he had been feeling for diego#when she suddenly appeared. im leaving this with 2 examples only bc imma run outta tags otherwise fkdmdnd BUT give me klaus levitating for#the first time when he's sitting cross legged on the floor of the living room or standing idk but he's content and sleepy ans suddenly#there's confused voices and shouting and he opens his eyes to find he's in the same position but now he's five feet off the ground and#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK yknow?? oooh and more on his telekinesis?? unintentionally launching shit at people when he gets pissed. luther takes a#little gardening shovl to the face. the others keep treating him like shit - like he hasnt changed - and he snaps during a meeting and a#vase JUST misses somebody's head or smth?? it would be great. and dont even get me started on the Not Fucking Dying aspect bc thats a whole#other rodeo. but even that.. i think its emotionally tied and how long he stays dead depends on how he felt when he died. he can control it#from the other side yknow?? anyway i def need to do an actual post on this i think later bc im outta tags lmao

[nicolastrauss-blog]

um hey..........so i forgot to write a wanted connections part to my bio bc i am a disaster n quite frankly i think tht’s very brave & sexy of me to be honest & vulnerable like tht..... anyway under the cut r some....u guessed it.....wanted connections!!! some r outrageous & some make me wna cry so hit me with ur best shot babey!!!!

EXES - she hs ended every relationship she’s ever had, usually without warning n often over text bc she cba to like... try? so naturally she’s on bad terms w most of her exes... imagine the messiest breakup of all time n she’s probably had it, so this plot cn be as wild as u want it.... alSO lola’s sexuality is rlly fluid n she is techinically pansexual bt doesnt care mch abt labels n by tht i mean if it’s human n of age with a pulse she’s like this vine of the shrieking deer n emits a mating call tht breaks thru the sound barrier

WE USED TO BE A THING BUT NOW WE’RE NOT OR ARE WE  – i like this fr two reasons.....the first bein tht lola is generally an emotionless vacuum void of a person so if she were to actually like someone it wld jst be.... a Nightmare n im sure she wld sabotage in every way possible..... n the other reason is tht if it were flipped n like ur chara ws the one chasin lola it cld jst be a rlly funny dynamic of her like.....hookin up w ur character n then being like alright...........farewell, cowboy... n strutting shamelessly into the night

I HATE U – fr some reason lola jst despises ur chara like......moreso than most ppl. it’s nt uncommon fr her to launch small rocks at them if they get within fifteen feet of her, n once she printed pictures of ur chara n scribbled out their teeth n wrote ‘tasteless neophyte .. erectile dysfunction ? maybe’ regardless of whether or not ur chara has male reproductive organs n pasted it in all the bathrooms on the third floor of watt hall while playing the baby driver soundtrack

COMMON CUSTOMER - so lola is a stripper (fr now i might... change her occupation kasjfh bt maybe not idk) bt perhaps ur chara frequents the club she works at n they’ve developed a weird kind of friendship......like they live these separate lives at night n dont talk at all if they see each other in passing at uni..... secrets!!! lov those

tw: violence, robbery

I THINK WE WITNESSED A CRIME - so i hav this hc tht lola is jst frequently in the wrong place at the wrong time so maybe ur chara n her were either hanging out or....literally jst happened to be in the same ihop when all hell broke loose n either someone ws robbed at gunpoint or they r pretty sure they witnessed a kidnapping or.... something extremely dramatic lik tht n now they’re both a bit scarred n Dont Know How to Process

tw: violence, mental illness

NOSEBLEED CLUB - lola’s pretty prone to violent outbursts jst.. bc of her childhood n general... mental state tbh. this cld be a plot where either ur chara gets into an altercation w lola or.. breaks up a fight between her n someone else bt obvs it wld b... max drama n a darker plot but wld be... fun to write sakfhsfhj

[angeldolls-identity-blog]

──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────

BOOK OF ALTERS

──────⊱◈◈◈⊰──────

♠

𖠁 hi, im ♠! i use it/it/its/itself pronouns and i'm the one who made this blog! i do not really have a personality of my own, i am a blank slate on which my systemmates project their personality, i'm the only fronter of the system! i do not experience emotion myself, however i do have feelings thanks to the collective consciousness of the system. it makes me quite sad that i am not a person and i wish i was one - i only experience personhood through my systemmates

𖠁 for my systemmates, i am associated with the colors purple and black as well as soft, small animals

🎪

𖠁 heyoooo! im a parallax alter, use she/her and im one of the only extroverted alters! my personality is best described by circuscore and clowncore, but for my systemmates im associated with black, purple and yellow, as well as bats and rats! i experience limited emotions, and i can only really express them through aesthetics!

🍯

𖠁 hello, 🍯 here! im an ISH/carer alter, and my personality is best described by warmcore or cottagecore. my emotions aren't limited, but are always coated in hope, as if dipped into it. im the one you will be talking to in case you need help 🤗 i use she/her and they/them pronouns and care for both littles and my grown-up systemmates

💄

𖠁 im 💄. im a protector of the system, and my associations are the colors red and gold, leopards, riches and red wine. i go by she/her.

♦

𖠁 its nice to meet you, im ♦, and i am a holder of repressed trauma. my systemmates tell me that the only way for them to explain my personality is gray and neat, so I guess that's how i will describe it to you :). they also associate me with dust, libraries, the cold, blue colors, marble sculptures and loneliness

♥

𖠁 hello there, im ♥ and i am a system protector. im described as a mix between 💄and 🎪, and my systemmates associate me with casual villaincore. i experience limited emotions, my range only stretches to anger, mischief, fun and pleasure. i dont have much else to say about myself, but i hope to post a lot on the blog ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

🌫

𖠁 🌫 is a little and a traumaholder. since we don't allow traumaholders to reflect, I (♠) will describe 🌫. 🌫 doesn't use any pronouns and doesn't like being even mentioned in a dialogue, internal or external. 🌫's entire identity is very foggy and unclear, but we know 🌫 is a feminine child. 🌫 will not be posting at all, but 🌫 is a part of the system and we all do think 🌫 deserves to be mentioned.

🌰

𖠁 hello! im a half fictive and a caretaker, specifically for littles! I like to describe my personality by the warmcore and lunapark aesthetic. i use she/her pronouns but I am currently looking for a replacement (please do suggest to me if you have an idea). it saddens me that my presence makes it hard for the littles to be completely reflected and for ♠ to experience childhood, however i do my best to make their time fun and safe. much love to everybody ❤❤❤

🎠

𖠁 hey, 🎠 here; I'm a soother alter, I use ae/aer pronouns and the closest I can describe my personality is with this picture

I'm associated with porcelain toys and figures, gemstones, fairy lights and pink lemonade, as well as swans and albino peacocks

🦷

𖠁 hi, I'm 🦷. I am the tamest of the raging alters (🐺, 🔪 and 🔗 are the other raging alters), which is why im going to type their introductions too. I use it/its and xe/xer pronouns and am mostly associated with the shallow forests during the day and early morning as well as cats. I am more cultured than the other rage alters as well, and I do my best to keep my presence as easy to handle as possible

🐺

𖠁 While he uses he/him pronouns, he is genderless. he is the personification of our rage, hatred for the world and our urge to destroy. we associate him with bl**d, g*re, wolves and the deep woods in the late evening. Interestingly, 🐺 isn't the most vi*l*nt raging alter

🔗

𖠁 🔗 is very vi*l*nt, but in a way that is destructive to the vessel instead of its surroundings - 🔗 craves freedom, which often leads zem to cause the vessel physical injury. ze is the personified feeling of entrapment and hopelessness, as well as untamed rage towards the captors

🔪

𖠁 🔪 uses ke/kek/keks/kekself pronouns and is the most brutal of our rage alters. ke is the one that causes the most trouble and brings the greatest desire for bl**d, guts and viol*nc*. we associate kek with demons, f*re, bl**d, brutality and cann*bal*sm

♣

𖠁 hello guys, im a soother/carer/ISH alter and i use ae/aer pronouns. my systemmates associate me with sunshine, fields, soft wild animals (like hares, squirrels and deer), wildflowers, cottagecore and peaceful, euphoric solitude. i specifically care for traumaholders, both repressed and the ones who remember

🍂

𖠁 hi guys, im 🍂, an ISH who works as an emotional mechanic. I am related to ♣ and we are related to the same things and aesthetics, except I do not interact with any other systemmates except for ♠. I prefer being alone while I work on our mental and emotional state (*^ω^). I use they/them pronouns

💉

𖠁 hello, I'm glad to meet you! I'm a carer of the raging alters, and I am associated with medicalcore, therapists, huge, gated woods and shady medical practices (in the benefit of my patients of course)

🧿

𖠁 🧿 is an entity which can pass through the barriers of the headspace, collecting information on all the members of the system. 🧿 is a sentient, autonomous database of information, omnipresent across the headspace but not often communicating with the others

🐲

𖠁 hello, im 🐲, i use he/him and rae/ream pronouns. i don't think i need to explain my personality to you. im a fictive

↳ the following alters are littles and therefore will be described by their primary carer, 🌰

🧸

𖠁

NULL

𖠁 null, also known as blanc is the original. it is comatose and its only activity has been connecting us all through collective consciousness as long as we remember. the collective consciousness is getting weaker and is starting to disappear, and it truly seems like null is going to dissipate soon.

(described by ♠, informations from 🧿)

[more will be added tomorrow as it is hard for me to reflect so many people in such a short time - ♠]

[to do: 🧸📺🐰]

[sunisalee]

h i i i so how do i get into like, women’s soccer bc im ??? interested but i gotta cultivate it yaknow

oo well hello!! hmm well honestly i dont know much about other leagues but if you’re interested in US-based woso then im here for ya! tbh you cultivate it by just watching it and it’s not terribly hard to follow/understand unlike say gymnastics or figure skating since it’s a team sport and their one objective is to score lol

you can start by watching national womens soccer league (nwsl) games as the season is in full swing rn! there’s a lifetime game of the week that shows at 12:30 pt on saturdays (unless there’s an international break, in that case there are no games except for national team ones), and for the rest of the games you can catch them on the go90 app or on http://www.nwslsoccer.com/. there was a really wild/entertaining game on tonight with portland and washington and if you wanna get a head start you can replay that on the website/app! otherwise there are games on saturday and sunday at different times. the game on lifetime tomorrow is between the utah royals and north carolina courage- that should be a fun one to watch as well bc currently north carolina is #1 and the royals are a new-ish team that have a lot of potential to go far. the other teams going against each other are chicago red stars vs. sky blue fc, and orlando pride vs houston dash. the seattle reign are on bye this week

at the moment, there are 9 teams in the league, which makes it kinda easy to keep up with since there aren’t many teams. since there’s an uneven number of teams, one gets the week off while the rest of them play against each other. many of the players come from the US national team (USWNT), canadian national team, brazilian national team, basically a bunch of international players plus some super talented homegrown ones! so yeah if you wanna get into some woso and wanna start semi-small i think the nwsl is a good fit bc games are easy to access (even internationally). if you want advice on which teams to stan i suggest chicago red stars because im biased af but the more you get into watching the different teams you’re bound to gravitate towards a team that you like, whether it’s the players the style etc. 

but if you dont have time to invest in the league (at least rn) the USWNT has upcoming friendlies in june against china and those will be broadcasted on tv (either on fs1, fox, or espn idk which yet lol), but online streams will also exist. the USWNT are #1 in the world rn but dont let that fool you bc they have a dumbass coach it’s the players that are talented lmao. if you’re not into the US tho you should still watch at least NWSL games bc it’s a lot more than just USA. the japan WNT, brazilian WNT, french WNT, german WNT, and australia NT are a lot of fun to watch as well if you’re interested.

but if you wanna watch something rn some absolute-must-see games for the USWNT are USAvBRA tournament of nations 2017 (although it’s hell for the uswnt for the first 70 minutes you’ve been warned), obviously the world cup final in vancouver which they won (there’s a link somewhere on the internet just search it up on google sorry im too lazy lmao), and USAvCAN in the london 2012 semifinal (it should be on youtube on the olympic channel) WHICH IS A MUST SEE CRAZY WILD GAME 

also it might help to watch some of their non-soccer vids on the US soccer youtube channel… the WNT animated series is a good place to start bc their stories are so funny and it gives you an insight on who they are as people- though not everyone is featured in it actually a lot of them are retired/blacklisted lmao wait…… well whatever they’re still fun! but anyway you’ll probs find a player you’ll like by watching their dumb vids and then spiral into obsession but idk you might be more controlled than most of us!

so yeah sorry this is long lmao if you’re ever confused or need advise or just have questions/comments in general u know where to find me!