#so... session 6 was something wasnt it?

[trafficlife]

And I Am Left Here Withering

"Can this day get any worse?" Joel had asked. The universe responded yes, three different times, each response more heartbreaking than the last. Joel would've preferred the universe proving him wrong.

word count: 1250 ao3 link

The first thing Joel heard was an explosion.

And his first instinct was to look up. Needless to say, he hadn’t completely moved on from Skynet and the TNT minecart traps. But no TNT could be spotted, thankfully. He didn’t think anybody would risk their hearts by creating a Skynet 3.0.

His second instinct was to assume that it was the Wither. If only he knew how badly that would come back to bite him later on.

His third instinct was to check his communicator, in case someone died. He didn’t see any lightning flash in the sky, which he thought was weird.

Joel pulled out his communicator, just in case he missed something, and—

Oh.

Oh, no.

For a moment, he thought he was experiencing déjà vu. He gritted his teeth and he tightened his grip on the communicator, nearly destroying it. Hot red blood pumped through his veins, speeding up his heart rate and he thought he was going to go snap. Joel behaved this way when Jimmy died first in Limited Life. When he had failed to sacrifice himself for him. But there were two major differences this time: 1) Joel wasn’t a red name (yet); and 2) it was Lizzie who died first.

He blinked rapidly. Once, twice, five times, because he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He didn’t even see the death message in the chat. Does anybody even know what’s happened to her?

Joel sent a few messages, alerting everyone of Lizzie’s sudden departure. He was right: nobody knew what happened and responded with shock. Jimmy responded with happiness. 

Joel wanted to be angry at Jimmy’s inconsiderate response but he couldn’t be. For the first time since these games started, Jimmy wasn’t the first one out. He remembered the last game. Joel wanted to sacrifice himself for Jimmy, he wanted so badly to free him from that cycle. And he failed.

He failed and he went insane and it ended up being his downfall. 

Joel was happy for Jimmy, he really was. However, it was difficult to express his happiness considering the news he just received. 

He had a suspicion that Scott was somehow involved in Lizzie’s death and that just made him feel even worse. Because, like the idiot he was, Joel just had to send his wife to kill Scott. He didn’t see lightning in the sky, so she didn’t even die in the overworld.

He remembers Lizzie telling Joel that she’d lure Scott into the End and try to push him into the void. Now it only seemed reasonable to assume that Lizzie fell into the void instead. Joel would’ve felt better if Lizzie dragged Scott down with her.

So, Lizzie was dead, Jimmy was celebrating, and Joel was craving vengeance even more than before. Though he failed his task, he would kill Scott. He was only a yellow name for now. And, there was a somewhat bright side: the canary could finally escape the mines.

—----------------------------

Unfortunately, the canary could not escape a warden and a Wither. At the same place. At the exact same time.

Joel, trying to calm down after hearing about Lizzie’s death, was killing some zombies. Mainly for experience, but also because mobs were the only things Joel could legally kill. Then, a series of explosions and some muffled shouting could be heard on the surface. Now, this has to be the Wither, he thought. Secretly, Joel hoped he would be wrong. But when went up to the surface, he found that he was, unfortunately, 100% correct. A Wither was flying in the dark sky, hot on Scar’s heels and firing skulls at him. The fact that Scar was still alive and not taking any wither damage was pretty remarkable. If only he wasn’t luring the bloody Wither to Joel. 

So Joel had to run from Scar and the Wither, hoping they’d both leave him alone. As he ran, Joel wanted to say “could things get any more chaotic?”

And then he saw a warden chasing Etho.

Apparently, the universe felt “bad” for always proving Joel wrong so it wanted to prove him right for once. He’d rather be wrong for the rest of his life. 

He just wanted to breathe for a moment and collect himself. But obviously, the universe can’t let him catch a break. Lightning flashed in the sky and Joel felt his already-fracturing heart crumble into pieces. He didn’t want to check his communicator, he just didn’t want to because he didn’t know if he could handle the truth. He saw Tango pull out his communicator, shock written all over his face. And Joel just had to look over and see—

“JIMMY!” 

Once again, he felt his sanity slipping. He was already in a horrible state but to lose his wife and his best friend, barely ten minutes apart from each other… Joel wanted to curse this world and its twisted sense of humor. 

Tears stung Joel’s eyes and his breathing became more ragged. This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t happening. He nearly fell to his knees in despair but he knew he had to keep running. And, as if the universe wasn’t already having a blast, Joel heard Grian scream.

“Mumbo, LEAVE!” Grian cried, followed by a flash of lightning and Grian screaming Mumbo’s name in distress.

If Joel had any sanity left in him, it had disintegrated the moment the second lightning bolt struck. The only reason why he was still keeping himself together was because he wasn’t red, and the bloodlust hadn’t kicked in. Never has he wanted to be red so badly, to hurt someone and get revenge and take out the rest of this bloody world. 

How could he lose three of the people he cared about in rapid succession? Lizzie died trying to kill Scott (the fact that Joel was responsible for it left a horrible taste in his mouth); Jimmy couldn’t run from the warden fast enough; and Joel barely even got to know Mumbo and he was already gone. They barely had any time to spend together because of the stupid task mechanics that separated the Mounders more than it brought them together.

He had surpassed his breaking point. He wasn’t even red but he tasted blood in his mouth and his heart was pounding in his ears. 

(Everyone he loved had withered away but Joel was still here. But he didn’t know if he wanted to be here.)

—----------------------------

The Wither was defeated but that didn’t mean shit to Joel. Not when it felt like he’d lost everything. 

Part of him wanted to wither away as well. But that would mean giving up. Joel was a lot of things but he sure as hell wasn’t a quitter. 

Skizz told Joel to win for Lizzie. Well, Joel was going to take it a few steps further and win for Lizzie, Jimmy, and Mumbo. He’d rise above this somehow. 

Exhausted and on the verge of tears, Joel walked back to his fairground, clutching a wither rose in his hand. He doesn't remember when or why he picked it up, but holding the stem gave him a little bit of stability. He couldn’t tell if he was bleeding from the withering effect, the thorns in the rose, or from his nails digging into his palms but it didn’t bother him. He had more important things to worry about, such as finding a way to kill Scott.

In the end, the florist could only send regards to himself. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wearing a flimsy shirt and flashing my husband's friends?

Ok. So the key players here are. Me (25F), my husband (27M) and our friends who are all around our ages.

I run a D&D game on sunday evenings for my husband and 4 of our shared friends. 2 of them are big dudes and 2 are women, but we live in a basement suite and having 6 people in it makes it heat up fast. This is on an average day.

Recently, our landlord got our heating fixed. We didn't realize it was broken and blamed the cold in the suite on it being a basement. When it's just us it got pretty chilly in there pre-fixing. After the furnace was fixed, our landlord (who lives in the upstairs suite) absolutely cranked the heat to compensate for a recent week-long cold snap in our area.

As a result, it's been sweltering hot in our suite (like, i've been wearing a tank top and underwear as my at home loungewear because anything more is torture). I anticipated the high heat being a problem before the gang came over this past Sunday, but I knew I had to wear pants bc obvs. I decided i'd wear a loose flowy tank top though, just so i didnt absolutely die from the heat.

Here comes the problem. We play DND on our admittedly low to the ground coffee table. As i bent over to set up a map, my shirt fell a little too far and revealed too much. I didnt notice when it was happening until my husband pointed it out by making a joke about it. I was like "oops" and took greater care to crouch instead of bend over for the rest of the session, so as not to accidentally flash anybody again. I didnt think anything else of it and nobody said anything.

The next day, my husband was quiet and not really engaging with me, and I thought he was just tired because he gets like that when he's tired. I went to work. About 5 hours into the work day, i get a text from him saying "Just so you know, and I know I have voiced how I feel about this before, but you flashing my friends is a MAJOR turn off for me"

I was confused at first, but then realized he was referring to the accidental flashing on Sunday night. But it wasnt just his friends, it was mine too, and it wasn't on purpose. Like i wasnt doing it for kink or anything. I also am bothered by him implying i've done this before, as I dont remember ever doing something like that. Before anyone asks, I have body dysmorphia and deeply hate my appearance so it doesnt make sense to me that I would have flashed people before and just forgotten.

But im autistic so i sometimes dont know limits for appropriate behaviour. Which is why im asking AITA for wearing a flowy tank top in our very warm house and accidentally flashing people when i bent over?

What are these acronyms?

[xaeydnquartz]

Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent

So, brief expo. like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns) During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well. As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.

After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)

Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).

Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.

-Fast Forward to current date and time-

It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier) Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness. Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present. i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard

I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to. Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back. Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.

Thanks for listening tumblr.

[pesterloglog]

Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam

Act 6, page 5398

ROSE: What happened!

KANAYA: What

ROSE: You're not glowing anymore!

KANAYA: Oh Right

KANAYA: I Became So Absorbed In A Conversation With My Ancestor I Already Forgot She Taught Me How To

KANAYA: Switch Off

ROSE: Oh, so you did go talk to her?

KANAYA: Yes

ROSE: That's great! How did it go?

KANAYA: Very Well

KANAYA: She Is Very Nice And As A Person Is As Impressive As I Was Imagining Her To Be

KANAYA: But Not Nearly As Intimidating Really

ROSE: I knew you wouldn't regret it if you got up the nerve to talk to her.

ROSE: What did she say, besides a few vampire-to-vampire skin-dimming pointers?

KANAYA: Many Things

KANAYA: Primarily Encouraging Me To Pursue My Prior Obligation To My People

ROSE: Oh?

KANAYA: She Said She Used To Eschew Her Role Rather Vehemently

KANAYA: The Duties Of Our Caste Were Quite Limiting In Both Worlds It Seems

KANAYA: So She Renounced Them Completely And Wanted A Different Life

KANAYA: But She Also Said Something To The Effect That

KANAYA: She Found That It Wasnt Really Necessary To Reject That Role Completely

KANAYA: And The Same Is True For Me

KANAYA: As Long As I Know Within That I Am Free

KANAYA: And If My Decision Is To Embrace My Path Then It Can Be A Source Of Strength

ROSE: Then you want to try to restore your race again?

ROSE: I had begun to think you'd lost hope in that possibility.

KANAYA: Its True Theres No Orb Anymore

KANAYA: She Said It May Be Very Difficult

KANAYA: But Theres No Hope If I Dont Try

ROSE: That's true.

KANAYA: I Dont Know How Im Going To Do It Yet

KANAYA: But Such Is The Nature Of Adventures

KANAYA: You Cant Be Scared Of Adventures

KANAYA: I Think Im Excited About It Now

ROSE: I can tell.

ROSE: We can work on it together when we arrive. Maybe the session we're about to explore will offer some answers.

KANAYA: I Hope So

ROSE: Hey,

ROSE: You aren't permanently de-glowed now, are you?

KANAYA: Oh No I Can Flip It Back On

KANAYA: See

KANAYA: Turns Out Its Just

KANAYA: A Silly Biological Parlor Trick

ROSE: Oh, good. You had me worried there for a moment.

KANAYA: Sorry

KANAYA: I Know How You Enjoy A Good Source Of Light

ROSE: Light is one of my favorite things.

ROSE: Please don't take these as fighting words, but my aspect is simply the best there is.

[thesnailkiwi]

i wanna hear more about your weird vivid 3rd life dreams /not forced

Mkay mkay I really want to talk about this

First time it happened, or as I call it "first session". (Side note, everyone looked like their characters but realistic.)

Started out (normal?) And collected stuff. The usual. I didn't know anyone at all and it was weird. Everyone felt so familiar, yet I couldn't place who they were. I met Martyn pretty early on. We talked, and he threw seeds at me and ran off. I settled in the roots of a tree the first night (the rain was unpleasant to say the least). Eventually I dug out the area around the upturned tree and put a roof so it was kind of like a burrow. Boy, how I envied Dogwarts at the time.

I met Joel next. He... was something, alright. He insulted me half the time and actually does swear a lot. Oh, and he was like 5'6 so that made it even funnier. He was annoying, though. He kinda just broke into my house tbh.

After that, I heard about Tango’s game but thought it was too risky. I was also afraid because of Scar since I didn't know him and from the stories I had heard he was cruel and merciless. In my defense, he was a red.

I met Jimmy after his first death. He's such a nice dude omg. He's also easy af to fluster. I complimented him and he turned bright red. He, seeing my pathetic house, invited me back to the flower valley for the night. Scott was offended that he brought home someone other than him lmao. At first Scott was defensive but after Jimmy convinced him I was fine then he loosened up. I felt like a third wheel the whole time. Jeez Louise the sheer amount of affection between those two.

Ahaha the next day I wasnt too lucky. I got caught in a TNT trap someone set (I think it was the Crastle, but I'm still unsure) and exploded. Not fun, exploding. Let me tell you. At least it was quick ig.

Bdubs was grumpy about that since it wasn't meant for me. Sir, how am I supposed to know that when you set it near MY HOUSE?

This is where things started going downhill.

Dogwarts was starting to rise. I was allies with the flower valley so I quickly was introduced to the desert duo. I felt kinda bad for Grian since he couldn't use his wings, but realistic harpy things are weird looking. Scar was terrifying. My dude is like 6 feet tall, grey, and littered with scars. Jimmy was red and he still wasn't scary! Wtf!

Ah yes. The burning of the banner. How could I forget? I wasn't there for it, but Scott sounded scared when I visited them next.

I had seen Ren from a distance, and I was so, so angry at Martyn for becoming the monster he did. Oh yeah, and the two of them kept beating around the bush in their relationship and that was annoying as well. Like, dude, just tell him already.

I never really met the Crastle. But I did meet Martyn again and blow up on him about being part of Red Winter.

And here we are! The bunker battle.

I don't really remember much about this part. Pure adrenaline took over. But I did die to being shot by an arrow and falling into the lava moat. I ran back as fast as I could with literal leather armor. Jimmy was dead by then, and when Scott realized, oh jeebus bleebus.

Anger, sorrow, revenge. He definitely was NOT thinking clearly. Since I was closest to Jimmy in the battle, he blamed me for his death. He attacked me and killed me with his sword. Very uncomfortable way to die.

Session two.

Started out on bad terms. I killed a few of the villagers Grian saved and he definitely was NOT happy. I swear he meant the creeper for me and it agro-ed on scar instead. But we'll never know ig.

The Crastle became my home this time. Cleo was recruiting so I signed up.

It went how you think it would. Except this time I played Tango’s game. I failed and died.

Then Dogwarts invaded the Crastle. The others except Impulse got away, but then I realized he was a traitor. I got sacrificed on the altar. Dude the Red Winter axe is a huge ceremonial battle axe. Ren laughing is extremely eerie.

Then during the final siege, Martyn took my last life. Pretty anticlimactic if I say so myself.

Anyway, any questions? I can talk for hours.

I swear every time you send an ask, it turns into a whole essay lmao /pos

[butch-bakugo]

You know what? Fuck it, shout out to those who arent seeking help.

To those who arnt trying to heal and move on. Who are too uncomfortable to seek medication or just dont feel like using those resources. To those who dont want reminders or someone to talk to. Who dont want therapy or doctors or even to tell others about their struggles. To those who dont care about "success"(healing and "getting over it") stories. To those who dont care if their family or friends or partner(s) know about it or how they feel about it. To those who arnt seeking help.

I see you. And i know you cause i am you. I get being tried of the narrative surrounding every illness or disability or hurt people is all about recovery and if you talk about your experiences in it when recovery isnt your only goal, your tossed out as a toxic person. How to get better and move on. How to see the light at the end of that tunnel. How to feel ok again but the reality is that not everyone will ever "feel ok" again. Healing is 2 things depending on who your asking and their intentions. Either its "acting normal" and "moving on" and never talking about it or being affected by it again because you got 1 year of therapy or you've been on meds for 3 years or you got your mobility aide. Or its just superficial "whenever you dont think about it 😚" or " whatever makes you the happiest!".

Ive been told to shut up and gotten shut out of ptsd support groups for venting in appropriate places to appropriate people that i didnt think id ever "be ok" again. For saying that i wasnt sure how to feel about this being something i experience for the rest of my life. For feeling hopeless, lost and alone. Not suicidal, at least not openly and being told i was hurting the other members progress by being such a "downer". For being scared to lose myself in recovery because the only "me" ive known is one whose traumatized and not able to heal from it.

Healing is so fucking scary and you have every right to be afraid. Doctors can suck and retraumatize you. Medications can make you feel nothing which is terrifying. Having the only thing you ever see in realtion to your illness or disorder or disability be about how to overcome it and how to heal and how to "jumpstart the road to recovery!" Is fucking toxic.

The event is one pain and the recovery is 10x worse. Its coming out of denial and figureing out what it even is and learning to accept it will be there forever and learning to be ok with that and test driving 6 medications and speaking to even more than 6 doctors and going through therapists like drops of water and feeling rejected by friends and family for not healing immediately and falling behind at work/in school and relapseing back into a mindset where you dont think you'll ever recover and then wanting to die and then being made to feel guilty by doctors when your forced in and being put on even more medication and being retraumatized by a doctor at the ward and then finally convincing them your safe to be home then repeating the cycle now with the trauma the doctor at the ward gave you over and over again.

You never feel safe or loved or accepted or even like youll ever feel ok again and the community dose nothing. They tell you you must ve recovering or else your too doomy and you'll turn others away from help or god forbid cause a death that is somehow your fault because you were honest about your feelings.

The only good traumatized and sick person isnt traumatized or sick anymore. They are past it all and have gone on to do better things. They never bring up their pain or relapses. They are never triggered by anything. They were healed by one medication at the right dose from the get go and the dose was low. They never needed another therapy session after the first one. They dont even have ugly scars! They arent you thats for sure and if you dont heal immediately, your just trying to make recovery difficult.

I understand why people dont want to introduce people in crisis to those who are hopeless about recovery but you cant just silence those who arent recoverying or stopped trying to. You cant tell them to shut up or refuse them a platform just because they didn't come out sparkling clean from the bigoted capitalist medical system of america. How is that fair? Choosing not to heal any further is a tough choice. Its one made of fear and pain to decide that the fear and pain they currently have is enough for them to not seek potential further fear and pain that may be present in recovery.

People don't say recovery is easy but they also dont say it can be just as hard as the event or illness that caused it. Some people are generally done with all doctors after a few non-traumatic but definitely uncomfortable events with doctors. Speaking from experience, i was almost completely done with therapists once one got very close to me and made me feel trapped in the room alone with him then told me he couldnt help me because i couldnt guarantee i wasnt going to kill myself. I was 15 yrs old. I had a doctor who talked over me and refused to listen to any of my grievances once she had a blood test in her hands. I was 20 yrs old. I now tread very lightly with therapists and almost never want to see another rheumatologist again.

I wont dive any deeper into personal experience but i can say from almost triple the experiences above with the medical system, i understand how it feels to be scared of medical recovery and actively not seek it unless forced to. I understand the fear and discomfort it brings and you should never be forced to seek medical help you dont want wether physically or manipulatively by family or friends.

Unless you are a tangible danger to others, you should only ever seek recovery and healing for yourself, never for others. Though loved ones do benefit from seeing you happy and healthy, you should never feel guilty about not getting it when you dont want to. You dont have to see a dentist every year. Every 3 is fine. You should see your normal doctor once a year at least. Refusing medical help can be deadly.

But as long as you arnt dieing from an illness or suicidal, you are allowed to seek medical help at your own pace and never let someone make you feel guilty for that. Your health is your choice and your responsibility. So if it gose down because you ignored it, thats on you but you dont have to seek help that you dont want and no one can force you.

Speak up for yourself because nobody else will.

[sosos-adventures-dc]

April 29/30: Games and the Capitol

You know when you are going on vacation and usually plan most of what you wanna see ahead? Well after 6 weeks in Vietnam, a lost backpack in Dubai(???) and my cats death I did not really have had much time to come up with a plan. Thankfully Joey, Reilly and Reillys coworker gave me a list of recommendations about what to do and see. So I spend all day making a plan and booking tickets. Nothing special. But in the evening we met with Joey and his friends at boardroom in DC. Uts a bar with many boardgames and also chess tournaments. I dont know why Munich hasnt come up with a boardgamesbar yet. These places are just awesome. We ended up playing clue conspiracy. So basically the game clue but with a touch of mafia. And that was nor easy to understand. Almost every round Christine told us we did something wrong. But as we are all really good at games we figured it all out and even ended up playing another round.

The next day I went to the Capitol. You know how people usuall spend between 2 and 3 hours in there? I ended up spending all day in there (9:40am-4:50pm).. how did that happen? Well you have to book a tour in advance and the only free spot left that week was at 9:50am. I thought this could be fun because that would require me to get up early and have a lot of the day left to check out other things... However this is how it turned out to be: After doing the classic Capitol guided tour I signed up for 2 more tours. The womens rights tour and the senetor halls tour. The second one was kind of late and I had to wait an hour inbetween. Which was fine because I had to get something to eat. They have a small cafeteria there so I got a cake :) they also had really cool white chocilate capitol desserts.

The tours itself were really interesting. I saw the star that shows the center of the street numbering of Washington. So all the streets are located based on that star. Really cool.

Getting in was a little crazy. First you are not allowed to bring any food or drinks with you.. but the bad part was all the kids.. so many school trips to the capitol. There was even an army of teenagers wearing the exact same outfit.. really spooky.

The second tour was all about the development of womens rights represented in the Capitol. In that tour they mention how the women are represented in the pictures and which statues are in the hall with all the statues (I forgot the name of it oooopsie). The last tour was the most exciting one. Not because we saw some of the the senates chambers and halls but because the tour guide gave us the hint to check out the 118th congress session. So thats how you end up spending a day in the capitol. You wait for over 1.5 hours to see some senators. For foreigners this is actually quite easy. You just go to a box office inside the capitol and show your ID. Then they hand you out a little paper card allowing you to enter. For US citizens its way more complicated. They have to get to a senators office (??) or was it one of the representatives.. I forgot. Complicated. Anyway. Easier as a foreigner :) I first joined a group from my guided tour to see the house session. That was actually impressive. You have to store all your stuff in a box and then they do a full body scan. And tgen you can enter without your phone and walk along the halls of the capitol. This looked so official and special. In the end we ended up in a big room upstairs looking down to where the action happened. People discussing politics. Mostly old white guys proposing things.. seing the senators in action wasnt as easy sadly. Same process but longer lines. And then we ended up waiting for so long until finally one senator showed up and read out sometjing for about 5 minutes and then left. The cool part was that we got to keep the seating chart of all 100 senators and an explanation about how it all works. Sometimes the vice president even shows up to the meetings. Sadly that day there was an older guy sitting there instead representing the president. And here is the tjing. The senators have ro adress that guy as the president, as he is his representation in that moment. And that guy didnt even really care. He was on his phone and once they said Mr. President again he quickly put his phone away and started to listen again. So what did I learn? Waiting to watch some politics happen takes time. And then almost nothing actually happens.

Anyway. Here are some impressions of my day at the capitol:

[getris]

I've heard some people use tumblr as a way of venting or letting things out, i guess those are the same thing and i figured ill give this a try.

This will mostly be me venting to myself about things to do with my life starting with my grandad, and id like to stay anonymous so i wont mention his name.

But on may 28th 2023 i lost my grandad, so about 6 months ago now, ive delt with mental health issues for the majority of my life, idk if thats due to a cocktail of family issues, medication my mother was taking when she was pregnant with me or if theres just something not quite right in my head.

Ive delt with major trust issues, self confidence and self image issues, physical and emotional abuse from both parents and emotional abuse and manipulation from an ex partner but never in my life has anything come quite as close to the level of mind twisting torment that grief has provided; i loved my grandad dearly, out of every member of my dysfunctional family he has consistently been the only safe space, i have never once seen him get angry, swear or even raise his voice unless he was letting out one of his typical hearty chuckles and i think i can safely say that no matter what anyone said he couldnt get angry or judge.

That doesnt mean he is incapable of being firm, he was a fair man and if you did something truly stupid or disappointing he would give you this specific look, one that is still filled with love and compassion but sadness and disappointment and he might throw in a softly spoken "dont do that" (but a little rugged from years of cigars and whiskey during his time in the army), even then his tone was reassuring and it never made you feel challenged but it always got through, i could be screaming at my mother, bright red faced and body full of adrenaline but the moment i caught that look and heard that tone it would all wash away and id feel nothing but regret for what ever was said or done, thats when you know someone is a good person, when they dont need to shout at you, push you or say harsh things, and a simple few calm words immediately diffuse the entire situation.

So naturally me and everyone else in my family were close to him, i have so many fond memories of him, like the time he had this golf cart (he loved golf) and my brother turned it on by accident and sent the thing shooting off down the street as my grandad desperately sprinted after it, or the times he would adamantly try to fix or build things on his own since hes an ex army mechanic and knew better, only to sheepishly realise hes made a mistake and go back to the instructions, he took me to a fishing tournament once and i honestly didnt care at all about the tournament but it was a lovely chance to spend one on one time with him as adults, he even bought me a cider and a beer for himself and that was the first and only chance i got to drink with him, that tournament was even broadcast on TV once so id love to go back and try to find it to see if i can spot me and my grandad in the crowd somewhere.

Theres so much more to the relationship between me and my grandad and im sure ill remember some of it and come back to write more another time, but you can imagine why it felt like my world was shook, i was at a friends house when i first got a call from my brother, he said something along the lines of my grandad had fell over and they took him to hospital, found out that it was potentially cancer but there was no certainty, i cried immediately after that call because to me my grandad was this big, unshakeable ex military man and ive seen him hurt a million times and be unbothered, so to hear that he had collapsed immediately sent waves through my body and i knew something wasnt right.

i spent another few days at my friends house and went home, at that time i was grossly behind with university work (due to mental health issues), and i had finals coming up so i had to force myself back into work, nothing but university and train times and study sessions on my mind because i had to pass, i had to... so i went to my friends house, we study better together and have similar mindsets, so it works out really well when we study and bounce ideas back and forth between each other to get the assignments done, i remember finishing a particularly gruelling study session with her one night when my brother messaged me saying he needs to tell me something but its better if i hear it in person, but i intended to stay at my friends until these assignments and exams were over so i pushed him to message me the update and thats where the regrets started.

My brother told me that my grandad was very sick, it was confirmed to be cancer and the moment i read that i felt physically sick, but my brother reassured me that my grandad was told he had a few years to live, so immediately i wasnt too hurt and i was hell bent that as soon as these exams are over im going to go visit him and once hes out of hospital ill make memories with him, drink with him if possible, anything he wanted.

But thats not how it went, i kept studying and handing in assignments and all i had left was one more exam and thats it im free for the summer and i can go see grandad, but just a day or so before the exam my brother messaged me again saying my grandads health had declined rapidly, he was told months, and then weeks left, so of course i panicked, but i had to do this exam and it was only one more day so surely everythings going to be fine and i can still go see him in the hospital and have a laugh and chat with him.

Exam day comes and i cant get it out of my mind by this point, my family told me they are visiting him that day and asked if i could come but because of visiting hours and my exam hours, i couldnt go but again i told myself "he has weeks left, i can bare one more day and visit him the moment my family goes again", so i went to university, went into that exam room and the entire time i couldnt focus, my university was in the same town that my grandad was in care, so all that was on my mind for that entire two hours was "hes only 30 minutes away, what if he passes while im in here", but the exam time passed painfully slowly but it passed regardless, after the exam i was insanely exhausted and depressed, i hung around with my friend after the exam for an hour or so and then took the train home, turns out timing is a bitch because the moment i got home my parents asked if i was still at uni because they could pick me up on their way to the hospital but i had just got home, the next train would be an hour from then so theres no way i could have visited.

Two days later i was at my mothers birthday when she informed me that my grandad didnt in fact have weeks, he had days left at most and they were going to see him the next day and theres no way im missing anymore chances, so the day comes that we get to go see him, but again something really did not feel right, we got in the car and only a few minutes after picking up my grandmother my aunt (who was at the hospital) said to come quick because he was choking on his own tongue at that point and they expect him to be gone any minute.

Thats the beginning of the heartbreak, seeing my own grandmother in the car talking out loud "just wait (his name) just wait a bit longer please", she was a lot like him, always innocent, always smiling and there she was begging to herself in the car crying, hoping he can just hold on a bit longer for her to be at his side.

We get to the hospital, i watched my nan walk as fast as she could, in pain to get to that room, the moment i walked in it felt like my entire world had ended in that instant, he was no longer my grandad, seeing him in that state felt like my heart had just been ripped out through my chest; he was pale, hairless, almost no muscle left on his body, his skin was a different colour, you could see his heart beating through his chest because his rib cage had twisted and changed shape, he had his eyes and mouth half open and all you could hear was struggled breaths, occasionally interrupted by a weak cough or the sound of him choking on his own tongue, his spine had broken in multiple areas from coughing, thats how frail his body had become.

It was painful, he was clearly suffering and i went through whirlwinds of anger, sadness, anger, sadness... Sad and heart broken seeing such a strong pillar of my world laying there struggling to even exist, and anger that he was allowed to stay in this state, nurses coming in to inject him or feed him medication that would only serve to keep him in this state for a little bit longer, i felt like he was being tortured in the most inhumane way for hours, he couldnt see or hear or speak by that point, just breathe and exist in pain.

Thats when family started talking, gossiping about his state and things he had done during his stay which further broke my heart, remember earlier when i said he had never sworn, never raised his voice and was effectively this gentle giant? Well i overheard my aunt, mother and grandmother talking about how he had been in such pain that he had started threatening the nurses, swearing at and insulting everyone within eyesight, begging both nurses and family to either kill him or take him somewhere where he could do it on his own terms, just typing that out brings a painful lump to my throat because to change such a gentle, loving man into that state must have meant either he was already suffering immensely, or he knew exactly bad it was going to get, it was shock after shock, emotional whiplash.

I stayed in that room for as long as i could which turned out to be 5 hours and 24 minutes, i couldnt bare a moment longer before i stood next to his bed and said my goodbyes, seeing a person you care so deeply about in such a state of suffering, staying in that room for those 5 hours had physically exhausted me, its not that i was just tired of being in the hospital, but i dont think i could have processed another second of that day without rest, so the second i got to my house i passed out in my bed, two hours later my phone was ringing and it was my brother, grandad was gone.

[brunetteaura]

6, 8, 20:3

hii thank you for the ask, these are good questions!!

6. why are you no longer together with your ex?

i could pull the victim card and trash him for not being a very good person, but even scratching all of that out and getting to the bottom of it, we were just not very compatible and i dont think any of us wanted to accept each other. additionally, there was no way i would evolve and get to start trying to love myself if i didnt break up with him bc it led me to discovering myself, almost like i wasnt the main character of my own movie before that. i cannot imagine being with him and have the life, the thought process and the state of mind that i have now. i mourn what couldve been every once in a while but i think our relationship was meant to be a lesson for both of us and not something sustainable

8. what are your current goals?

being firm on what i want and fighting for it. i know this is vague but thats literally one of the only things ive been dealing with bc right now i cant entirely rely on myself so i need family help, and it comes with extra effort on not letting anyone break my boundaries. soon enough im gonna be working too so i really want to try my best bc i didnt have the papers to do that before. im also meeting my internet best friend for the first time and i want it to be good but theres many insecurities that im being reminded of like what if she doesnt like me irl, what if i fuck it up bc she deserves the world and am i able to give it to her. a lot to unpack so im gonna be working on showing my love through action and action only, enough of the words through the internet.

20. what was the last thing you cried for?

i mightve teared up when i was arguing with my grandma and she was preaching abt forgiving my mom just bc shes my mom, i got so mad at her. full on sobbing session? when thinking abt how drastically my life was gonna change soon and how i wasnt mentally prepared for it. a week has passed since then and im handling it much better

[rohitgurumith]

SOURCES AND SIGNIFICANCE : BLOG POST #1

During the session that took place on 11th October, our tutor got us familiar with the term "Gesamtkunstwerk" which means "total work of art".

We were asked to group up and pick a media object of our interest and discuss about it in depth.

Hence i picked a movie called "Pudhupettai" which is a south indian movie that came out in 2006. The premise of this movie is very simple. Its about an innocent man who gets dragged into the gangster dynasty due to some unfortunate series of events and how he survives it and goes on to embrace it towards the end of the film.

Now looking at this you might wonder - Its just a basic story. is it possible for this to be a work of art?

and to that i say - Yes. it absolutely is a work of art, and it is a positive thing. not because of its story, but the director's way of storytelling with just 2 lights : Red and Green where Red signifies anger,evil,guilt,danger,pain, and Green signifies happy,good,safe and every positive emotion. i've given some examples below.

The opening shot of the film : the protagonist walks out of his house and we see that there are 2 pots and the green pot is closer to him when the red pot is far, signifying that the protagonist is happy and far from the trouble.

2. The protagonist is wrongly accused for something he didnt do and the jail cell has a red righting signifying he's in danger.

3. The protagonist gets saved by a gang and makes allies with them. and under thier influence he starts getting addicted to drugs. so the red shirt he's wearing signifies he's under a bad influence and the green lighting signifies that he is safe and surrounded by a group of allies (even though they aren't the purest people)

4. The shot right after the protagonist murders someone from the rival gang . the red lighting in the back signifies that he is consumed with vengeance and hate.

5. The shot when the protagonist finds out that the person he killed was his lover's brother. the red signifying the guilt he has for killing someone close to her and the green signifies the love he has for her and the approval he longs for.

6. This is my favorite shot of the movie. the protagonist gets arrested towards the end of the movie and the green lighting in his cell signifies that he is safe from all the trouble and is rightfully serving for his crimes and the red outside the cell signifies that the outside world is dangerous for him since there are alot of his enemies who want him dead.

Why is it a positive thing? Because some of these shots , especially the last 3 shots look like actual paintings to me. and not alot of indian directors from today's generation has managed to achieve this level of storytelling when also making sure that every shot looks colorful and pleasing to the audience's eyes. which is why i respect this director (Selvaraghavan) more than any other directors.

Do i think that a specific medium has affected any creative choices? Not really. i feel like the director gave us what he intended to give but i do strongly believe that it would've definitely looked different if it was created with more tools. This movie came out in 2006 and i know back in that time, technology wasnt as big as it is today. so he worked with what he had at the time but i know for sure we would've gotten a much more visually polished version with alot more creative shots if this movie was made in recent times.

REFERENCES -

Selvaraghavan, K (2006). Pudhupettai. Lakshmi Movie Makers

[solarwhisper]

Hehehe~ check out what I finished this morning!! 🥰

[actualbird]

nxx team at a sleepover low stakes all-nighter stakeout mission or something, bear with me, i just have thoughts on who would last longest in staying awake

this post started out as a joke and then turned into a found family feels fest. bon apple teeth!

wc: 1k

-

marius is awake nearly the entire time because this is usual shit for him

this mf sleeps 6-5 hours normally w only 5 minute naps in between, so hes been trained via his Hell Schedule for minimal sleep. 

this plus whatever stakes is going on for the stakeout basically ensures hes gonna last a long time. 

he’ll be the 4th to sleep, and if he had ever gone to a sleepover with friends when he was a kid (he hasnt, everybody either hated him or was using him, marius, how come every time u talk about ur childhood it makes me wanna cry?) he’d only pass out at like 4am because hes got a Lot of energy and needs to burn it all before sweet sweet unconsciousness hits him over the head.

-

artem is awake for a while as well because hes a caffeine addict who has regular insomnia problems 

he is 3rd to sleep, succumbing at around 3am. 

he honestly would have slept earlier but then marius, who was burning off his own energy by asking countless inane philosophical questions, had asked him one of those said inane philosophical questions

marius asks, “hey, do you think worms dream? do you think they wonder about their place in the grand scheme of things?” 

and those questions inexplicably send artem into a spiral of overthinking his place in the universe 

like oh god, do worms dream? do worms also worry constantly about how theyre existing and being fearful that tomorrow theyll make wormy mistakes thatll forever tarnish the record of their whole wormy lives?

when artem passes out, he dreams of cartoon worms in court. the worm judge, who has the voice of his father, says “court is now in session. all writhe.”

-

vyn is asleep by 8pm. end of sentence.

he is the 1st to sleep. he is not going to be participating in whatever kind of superiority of “ha, i stayed awake longest!” because he thinks thats stupid as hell and hes right, having a fucked up circadian rhythm is Not something to be bragging about. Get Help, People.

he tells mc to wake him up once hes needed or when something important happens and then he curls up into a sleeping bag and sleeps like a fucking rock

nothing is getting through to him the moment hes shut his eyes, with the caveat of mc’s order for him to get up, because for all of the rightful value vyn puts upon sleep, he is also rightfully whipped for her. if she says wake up, he’ll be doing it

doesnt mean he has to enjoy it, but he’ll do it

-

mc sleeps only after she makes luke PROMISE, CROSS HIS HEART to sleep at some point during all this and let somebody else take a shift

because luke “ive done a ton of stakeouts before, i dont need sleep!” pearce is hugely stressing her out. they will lightheartedly argue about this for HOURS until midnight when mc finally makes him promise. 

marius: oooooh, she got ya there buddy. you gonna break a promise?

artem: thats like breaking the law

luke: what? no it isnt

artem: it is for this situation. and the punishment will be severe

vyn, sleeptalking elegantly: life sentence....

mc: IVE GOT 3 //pauses to look at vyn and his questionable wakefulness. IVE GOT....2.5 WITNESSES. promise! and no breaking it!

luke: fiiiiiinnneeee >:/

so luke promises. That! Is! All!

and mc goes to sleep, the 2nd one of the group to fall asleep, w a smug smile on her face, very happy shes won a battle of Help Luke Not Be Too Much Of A Self Sacrificing Bastard

-

luke sleeps last, but this surprises him because he wasnt planning on “sleeping” at all 

and he’d like it on record he technically wasnt planning on breaking mc’s promise, he WAS gonna take like some uhhhh micronaps, shut his eyes for 3 minutes at a time. technically thats sleeping, right? so he hasnt broken the law-promise!

(if mc wasnt asleep and artem wasnt trapped in an absurdist worm legal drama dream, they wouldve ripped luke apart)

so hes up for the entire night, until everybodys fallen asleep, and he knows theyre all trying to help but he needs to keep them all safe. he needs to play the role of protector, and with everybody snoozing, the role is solely his

then vyn wakes up and luke is like What

luke: What. i thought you dont get up until the sun is up?

vyn, grumbling: usually, that’s true, but a certain somebody had advised me before all of this that you might be planning on playing arbitrary hero, and unlike you, i do keep my promises to her

marius: oooooohh, nice burn from vyn!

luke: why are YOU awake

marius: i had some of mc’s energy drinks awhile ago, and, in hindsight, that was a mistake! dude, check out how im shaking

luke: oh my god

marius: dyou think worms get the jitters as well?

artem: stop making me think about worms

luke: aaaaand youre awake too. uh you look a bit.....are you ok? 

artem, haunted: no. go to sleep. we’ll cover the rest of the night

and luke is just about to try and find a way out of once more but then mc, in her sleep, attacks luke w a sleepy koala hug. he is trapped. and

well, he cant help but feel all tired and sleepy when hes in her arms. he feels safe. he cant help it. 

mc, sleep mumbling: gotchaaaaa

luke, feeling so much love in his heart for her and also the others for teaming up for this: yeah, okay....you guys got me

luke’s final thought before sleep takes him is that maybe, in this team, they can take turns doing the protecting

-

bonus, after mc and luke are asleep

vyn: .....what were you saying about worms?

artem: please. please dont ask

marius: is it possible to have a seizure but in slow mo?

vyn: neither of you are healthy individuals

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Jasprosesprite^2, Nepetasprite, Gamzee Makara, Davesprite

Act 6, page 7873-7876

JAKE: So i take it i am to stand in for the mad hatter in this charade?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yes.

JAKE: Except... wasnt the mad hatter supposed to be like... in charge of the tea party or something?

JAKE: I really dont know what im supposed to be doing here.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Nothing! Just sit there quietly please.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: No offense, but you are only a prop actor in this fanciful scenario, which is serving as the stage for my date with this lovely lady.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < wait...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < this is a date?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh! Yes.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'm sorry I didn't mention sooner, Nepeta.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Is that ok?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < um

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i guess so!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im still a bit confuzzled about what is actually happening though

JASPROSESPRITE^2: There will be plenty of time for explanations!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: For now, I invite you to relax and enjoy our party on this peaceful and desolate hilly planet, while that mild mannered boy across the fridge sips his tea quietly.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ok but...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im manely just wondering, where is everyone?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < like... equius? karkat? are they ok?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: They're fine!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Well, Karkat is fine. Alive and well, in this session.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Equius is also fine, in the same sense that you and I are both fine! :3

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Everyone else enjoys various states of being fine while alive, and fine while dead.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < oh

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < hrrm well

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < SOME of that sounds like good mews at least?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: It's all good news! I mean mews. :3 Especially that we are both here now, on this date together.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Again, assuming you are ok with that. No pressure!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i will say its a very nice looking tea party you have here

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but ummmmm

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ive never actually...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < b33n on a date

JASPROSESPRITE^2: There's a first time for everything, right?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I remember my first date. I was so nervous! "Life hack." It helps if you are very very drunk.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Not that I am prescribing this as a remedy for you! It's ok to be nervous.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Besides, I sincerely doubt you are partial to the drink. I have a feeling catnip's your poison, eh? Eh?? Ehhh??? ;3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ive never tried either

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < sorry :\\

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < anyway its not that im nervous about a furst date necessarily!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i just... dont know who you are or anything about you

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < you look like one of the human kids but... different. you s33m to be part kittycat now?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yes Nepeta I am part kittycat now! :3 :3

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Events conspired to make me equal parts not dead, half kittycat, and two sprites!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: But the other side of that pet tag is the fact that I am suddenly half human as well.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You see Nepeta I used to be a dead cat too but now I'm an alive cat who's part girl!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: In fact, we spoke once. While I was still just a cat. Don't you remember?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < uhhh

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < wait a minute

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < yes...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < yes i think i do remember that!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < that was fun! :DD

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Chirp! :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < so youre the same cat then!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < the human girl... rose was it? she and her lusus got prototyped together?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: That is exactly what happened, fortunately for us both, as well as everybody else.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < thats very sw33t! what a nice way for you two to stay close forever

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < combining souls with my lusus sounds like it would have b33n a wonderful way to preserve her memory

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < plus share all her strength and wisdom and such!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i am guessing that oppurrtunity is long gone though :cc

JASPROSESPRITE^2: It probably is. But really, I don't think you need to change!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You are so charming and pretty exactly as you are.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < wow...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < thank you :oo

JAKE: Hey...

JAKE: Whatever happened to janes bunny friend... what was his name?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Huh?

JAKE: Little sebastian i think?

JAKE: Whered he scamper off to?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jake, what are you talking about.

JAKE: He would be PERFECT for this tea party!

JAKE: Like the white rabbit and all.

JAKE: And im like the mad hatter for some damned reason.

JAKE: And youre supposed to be like the cheshire cat or such?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yes, Jake. That was the idea.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Thank you for explaining a thing to us.

JAKE: I havent the foggiest fucking idea who sleeping tavros is supposed to be.

JAKE: Or for that matter who the honking guy in the fridge represents.

JAKE: Was there a man under the table who honked sometimes in alice and wonderland?

JAKE: I really dont remember.

JAKE: So i guess that leaves the friendly cat troll as alice?

JAKE: Nepeta right? You must be the alice of the group.

JAKE: That would make sense! Since you just got here and appear to be very confused about this situation.

JAKE: By my estimation that makes you a dead ringer for the alice of this tea party!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jake, just drink your tea.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Anyway, enough of that horseshit. Back to our date!!!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: That is, if you are ok with calling it a date! Are you ok with this being a date? I mean like a romantic one??

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i... y-

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < yes?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i mean, sure! :33

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yay!!!!!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i still dont... actually know you that well?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < at least not the rose part of you.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i suppose maybe that is the point of a date... to get to know the other person a bit better?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yes! Yes Nepeta, exactly! That is exactly the point of a date! :3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < h33h33, okay then!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < uh hmmmm so what do we talk about?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Anything you would like, beautiful. ;3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < j33z

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < rose

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i mean

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < rose cat...

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Jasprose!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < jasprose i...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < h33h33h33

JASPROSESPRITE^2: What is it?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < youre making me blush!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < my head probably looks like a big old olive here

JASPROSESPRITE^2: It's quite a lovely color. :3:3:3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dont...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ahhhh!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < X33

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Is something wrong?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < no i just

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < sorry

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ive never really had anybody like me before!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im not sure how to handle it

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I find this very hard to believe.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Nobody? Are you sure??

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < pretty sure!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: What a reprehensible injustice. Had your colleagues no taste???

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < heh

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere

JASPROSESPRITE^2: A pox on the name of this charlatan. I hiss on his grave.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < hes dead?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Yes.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < gosh

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i mean... he could be kind of a jerk sometimes but that is still a shame :((

JASPROSESPRITE^2: No it isn't. It's fine. Please! Continue!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < huh?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You were saying? About being liked!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < oh right

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < um i am just

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < still somewhat confused?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im not sure why you like me

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < not that im not flattered!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but you dont really know much about me

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < or...

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < do you?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: No, not really.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I just know that you are very pretty, and from my limited interaction with you as a cat, that you are personable and kind.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I don't need to know much else about you to like you. I am a catgirl of simple tastes. :3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < haha

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ok

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i guess i cant argue with that!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < for what its worth you s33m very nice and pretty as well

JASPROSESPRITE^2: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: (Jake, did you hear that?!)

JASPROSESPRITE^2: (She likes me too! This is almost too good to be true.)

JAKE: I think you should both kiss!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: JAKE!!!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Please, mind your manners.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I mean, not that that isn't an EXCELLENT idea.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: But all things in due time. There is a PROCESS to this courtship business.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Much how one doesn't just LIE DOWN for a nap. The bedding must be ritualistically kneaded and massaged before lowering oneself in a circular fashion for a prime snoozing position.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < :oo

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < oh my goodness what a beautsnifful analogy :'33

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Besides, she has only been prototyped once.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I believe unprototyped or once-prototyped kernels can weather brief or incidental contact, the same way you can investigate the flame of a candle without burning your nose as long as you are quick enough.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: But the sort of contact we are talking about here would be ANYTHING but incidental. ;3 ;3 ;3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < omg

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < you are making me blush again with all this kissing talk!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < how can you be so forward about those things?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i have never met anyone who was so brazen and confident about liking somebody

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < how do you do it???

JASPROSESPRITE^2: There isn't much too it.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I used to be quite guarded about my feelings as a girl.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: But cats do not have complicated thoughts about what should be expressed and when.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: What to convey about your current state of mind is everything. When to do it is now.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < dont get me wrong jasprose i have a great affinity for all things feline in nature

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but its never b33n that simple for me!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Was there someone you had feelings for you couldn't talk to about?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ummmm

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < yeah

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Who?

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ummmmmmmm

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno im embarrassed to say!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You can tell me Nepeta! Please tell me your secret will be safe, I promise!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < ok

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < as long as you can really k33p a sneakret!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: My muzzle is sealed.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Karkat eh?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'll let you in on a little sneakret too. You dodged a vigorous spritzing with a spray bottle there.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: He wouldn't be any good for you. Oh no no.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < why?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Too many anger issues. Always with the shouting and whatnot. He's way too volatile!

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but... i liked that about him!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Oh, but that isn't even all there is to it!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On our journey he was so obsessive and controlling toward his desired matesprit. I do not believe that is any way to treat a lady!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Nope. Sorry to be the meower of bad news. He is just not cut out for you!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Besides, he is involved with someone else now in that quadrant. He has moved on. And so have you!

JASPROSESPRITE^2: You are now a sprite. Neither of us have the same connection to the living we once had.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: In quite a real sense, it is fair to say that all we have now...

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Is each other. :3

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < er...

DAVESPRITE: hey whats up

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Davesprite?!

DAVESPRITE: yeah

DAVESPRITE: looks like everybody forgot about me as fucking usual

DAVESPRITE: so here i am

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Where...

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Where did you come from?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I thought you died.

DAVESPRITE: uh no?

DAVESPRITE: not to my knowledge at least

DAVESPRITE: i was just chillin on johns planet when some shit happened

JASPROSESPRITE^2: What shit?

DAVESPRITE: dunno

DAVESPRITE: there was all this wind and shit then the sky went blank

DAVESPRITE: i looked around a while but couldnt find anybody

DAVESPRITE: then the sky went black again so i flew off lookin for people

DAVESPRITE: found the planet with a big purple X on it

DAVESPRITE: then i found you at this tea party or whatever

DAVESPRITE: and now you seem to be a sprite too who is part cat so thats cool i guess

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Ah, of course. You're the version I traveled with on the ship.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I mean, not Rose. Jaspers.

DAVESPRITE: oh yeah

DAVESPRITE: hey man

DAVESPRITE: um

DAVESPRITE: or at least hey man to half of you

DAVESPRITE: kind of fucked up that youre part rose and vice versa but i guess whatre you gonna do

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Be in a state of near-perpetual satisfaction with my own existence, is what.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Anyway, I'm happy to see you're still alive.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Even if your bird-like appearance is making me feel a bit riled up.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I'll try to control myself though.

DAVESPRITE: cool thanks

DAVESPRITE: so what kind of ludicrous nonsense do you have going here in the land of stonehenges and a big purple X

DAVESPRITE: is that

DAVESPRITE: is that egbert lookin dude supposed to be the fucking mad hatter

JAKE: Yeah!!!

DAVESPRITE: ok

DAVESPRITE: whats with the fridge

DAVESPRITE: please dont tell me somebodys locked in that fridge

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Dave, never mind the fridge.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: This tea party bullshit isn't quite what is seems.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: I am actually on a date. So maybe we could, you know. Catch up later?

DAVESPRITE: a date

DAVESPRITE: thats cool

DAVESPRITE: with who the mad hatter guy?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Good lord, no.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: With Nepeta.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Sorry, I should have introduced you to her sooner.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Nepeta, this is Dave. He's my bird brother, who is also a sprite.

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < hello!

DAVESPRITE: hey nepeta nice to meet you

DAVESPRITE: dont worry ill get out of your hair soon and let you get back to your tea date with rose

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < hi dave

NEPETASPRITE: :33 < its nice to m33t you too!

DAVESPRITE: damn straight we are meeting the shit out of each other right now

DAVESPRITE: hey put er there...

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Dave, no, don't...

[kazewhara]

ZUZU

I sent that ask at like,,, 6 or 5 am i think (to which i didnt have a single wink of sleep yet) so i passed out at some point

ANYWAYS!! XIAO HEDCANONS I HAVE AS A XIAO KINNIE:

Xiao is the type of lover who'd see something that reminds him of their lover and would get it and the next time he sees his lover he would take a hold of their hand and place it on their palm (he would look away as he does this because he gets embarrassed)

He's also aggressive in the way he takes care of his lover fjfbkdndd

Im talking: "You haven't eaten yet? Idiot... Here... You can have the rest of my almond tofu" or "Someone might ambush you... I'm just coming along to make sure 🙄"

Of course that doesn't mean he doesn't have any non-aggressive traits

"Darling, would you like to take a nap with me?" "I thought adepti don't sleep?" "You seemed... Tired... The whole day. I only want you to feel better. And I recall you telling me that my presence soothes you... Could you nap with me?"

Damn now im making myself lonely

Xiao can be a big spoon and he can also be the little spoon during cuddling sessions >:))

Normally, he's prefer to be the big spoon but sometimes his thoughts consume him and all his regrets and guilt build up overtime

During those times, he'd like to be the little spoon

Being held feels nice and the feeling that someone will be there for them no matter what is reassuring

He also likes burying his head on his lovers neck and NO i do not accept criticism

That is the law /j /lh

His lovers smell comforts him okay >:((

On that note, if his lover plays with his hair he's like putty in their hands as if he wasnt already

I also like to think that sometimes he just hangs out with his lover... Like they dont have to do anything... They're just around each other

During those times he likes looking at their lover... As if memorising their face and trying to have it engraved in his head.. the way their eyes flutter, the way their eyes shine, the way their hair frames their face, the way you move your hands... Just everything

He doesn't want to forget anything about them

OH OH KISSES

Xiao isn't too keen in initiating but when he does, he likes giving forehead kisses... It's very intimate to him

If his lover kisses the little diamond on his forehead he's gONE

Face all red and blushy and cute but he won't pull away from their forehead kiss bc it feels nice

If they look into his eyes after that little forehead kiss, anyone can see how smitten he is

Anyways that's it bc this is p long now fkfbdkd

-aggressive anon

AAAAAJDJWDHWJDHJEB

KISSING THE DIAMOND EEEEEEEE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺💞💕💗💞💕💗💞💕💗💞💕

[ryugujitr]

Goodmorning or afternoon, evening or g'night.

In this week's bulletin of "What the actual FUCK", we will discuss;

FUCK MORNINGS

'Photoshop? Nope, but I'mma teach u anyway'

Laughing at drama queens is 🤡bad🤡

Feminism vs Opinions

I ain't yo ma'

FYCK MORNING CLASSES- COMMUTING ISNT AS PAINFUL AS WAKING UP 3 HOURS B4 CLASS AND REALISING HOW ILL BE WASTING TIME IN CLASS BC THE WOMAN DOesn'T KNOW SHIT SINCE SHE SPECIALISES IN PRINT. But you know what- you can't say anything bc respect your lecturers and also set THE STACKS OF MONEY U HAVE TO PAY FOR TUITION FEE ON FIRE.

This OWMAN. OH MY GOD THIS WOMAN. SHE IS PISSY AND DEFENSIVE FOR THE SLIGHTEST OF THINGS. GIRL- YA DONT KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP OR ANY OTHER ADOBE SOFTWARE-

🤡QUIT.THE.COURSE 🤡

But noooooOoOOo WE MEET HER 6 TIMES A WEEK AND EVERY CLASS IS FUCKING CHAOS- BRUH. And These little devils think distracting her is fun- like EXCUSE ME HAHAHAHAHAHAH- THE FUCK WILL U WRITE IN YOUR EXAMS@??????????????? SOME OF US ACTUALLY WANT THIS DEGREE SO WE CAN WORK , NOT RELY ON A MAN FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

OH OH AND THEN- while the chaos is at full blast this girl is just; 'LeT heR sPeaK atleast LISTEN TO MISS FIRST'

And

This hoe- had been distracting and barfing out useless comments since the class started- says 'So *snifFs* we CanT evEn aSk questioNs *forces a fake sob* 🤡🥲

SO WHY WOULD U NOT LAUGH? AND I WAS JUST: PFFT and

the lecturer is just: WHY ARE U LAUGHING AT HER

Like bruh...she is lying. I am laughing at her AUDACITY OF DERAILING THE CLASS AND PRETENDING TO ACT LIKE SHE CARES AND YOUR STUPIDITY. But kay I guess ....

So TURNS OUT IN THIS CENTURY AND DAY-

Someone comes up to me and asks "Are you a feminist?"

And your boi was literally looking for her STUDENT ID SHE LOST AGAIN, n i was like "Why."

"because you're so confident and strong headed- im glad to see young women who are opinionated enough to take a stand even if they are in the wrong."

Mind you, if my hand wasn't in my bag it would've been down that bitch's throat. AND she is younger than me too and HAD NEVER CONVERSED WITH ME BEFORE, EVER. EVEN IF IM WRONG? THE DEBATE WASNT EVEN A DEBATE I WAS ASKED ABOUT MY OPINION N I GAVE IT TO THE LECTURER WHO AGREED EITH ME AND IT HIT ME-

To this day, a WOMAN'S OPINION- only shows she's a FEMINIST- bc an opinion is something ONLY A MAN CAN HOLD. Since, you know...FEMALES aren't humans .....

Finally, we planned on complaining about the lecturer's LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT OUR DEGREE YET HER AUDACITY TO TEACH. SO- I was like, I ain't complaining cause ya'll gonna back out.

HIGHKEY- TRU BC THE COMPLAINT LINGERED ON FOR 2 WEEKS N MOST OF tHESE HOES DIPPED.

And yesterday, as I walked out of The cafeteria after discovering INFLATION IS A BITCH- this random girl comes to me and is just:

🤡- Hey bestie what happened for the complaint?

🫥: Idk

🤡- GoD yOu're so Usless you Have ONE JOB, AREN'T yOu lIke onE of ThoSe smaRt Kids?

🫥: smart I am, your mother, I am not.

If i could, i would've socked her in the face too, but their were too many witnesses.😏🧐

💗❣️So, that concludes our second week's therapy session.❣️💗

BUT PLEASE TELL ME, HOW YOU DOIN? HOW WAS UR WEEK? GOT ANY NEWS ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING - I'LL TAKE IT.❣️💗

(i had to put readmore so ppl wouldnt have to scroll endlessly)

MISS GURL - WHAT IN THE FRIENDS’ NAME IS YOUR circus COLLEGE DOIN?

6 TIMES A DAMN WEEK? I WOULDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO STAND TWO- LIKE AM I MISSIN SOME SHIT HERE OR???

nah cuz that stanky ass bitch asked u “WhY aRe YoU lAuGhIng” i wouldve sent a chair flying in her face bc girl nobody paid your dumbass to be here, it aint nobody’s fault but yours that you got stuck teachin shit you dont even know about like nobody did that for you but yourself

ALSO - WHOS THE HOE THAT SAID YOU’RE USELESS FOR NOT DOIN THE JOB SHE KEPT COMPLAININ ABOUT? also legitimately what the actual fuck was that person thinking when asking if you’re a feminist…….. why.

perhaps the kugelblitz or general apocalypse would have been a good idea here. some people just make this world a terrible place, as IF WE DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH ALREADY FOR FUCKS SAKE YKNOW??? TOTALLY NOT MHMMM

And thank you for stopping by and checking up bestie, i am also having a rather horrific start of my last year of this bullshit jungle circus school.

first of all; EVERYONE IS ATTACKING US FROM EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN DIRECTION ABOUT TESTS, STUDYING AND CHOOSING WHICH HIGH SCHOOL TO GO TO (as if last year wasnt fuckin plenty enough of stress), TEN TIMES WORSE BECAUSE ITS OUR LAST YEAR AND “we’re mature, we’re older, we should be smarter and wiser”………. RIGHT.

second of all - we miraculously have a new student in our shitty class (GIRLIE YOU COULDVE PICKED ANY OTHER FUCKIN CLASS, WHY THIS ONE FILLED WITH IDIOTS???) which is weird, not in a rude way but like…… transferring last year to another school seems more stressful than trying to find a needle in a haystack within one hour, considering 1. you dont know anyone or anything here now 2. you barely have friends and 3. the grading system is entirely diff and fucked way more than your past school so idk how this girl is going to make it but im gonna try look out for her from the shadows and help when i can.

third of all - WE DONT HAVE A SINGLE BREAK EXCEPT FOR WHEN YOU HAVE A RELIGION RELATED HOLIDAY (i have one in october - A SINGLE DAY) AND A SINGLE LITTLE SAD FUCKIN FRIDAY UNTIL THE 30TH OF DECEMBER. WHO MAKES IT OUT ALIVE UNTIL THEN IS A FUCKIN PSYCHOPATH BECAUSE I SURE AINT, WHO TF IS MENTALLY STABLE ENOUGH TO BE COMFORTABLE FOR THIS SHIT AINT NO FUCKIN WAY THATS ME

fourth of all, the teachers are twats- worse than ever before. they’re harassing us from every direction because its our last year, we have to behave, we have to study, keep in line - BUT LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, IM NOT DOING THAT. THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE DARES SPEAK TO ME IN A WAY I DONT LIKE IM SOCKING THEM IN THE FACE, DRAGGING THEM OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL BY THEIR WIG AND BANGING THEIR HEAD AGAINST THE RAILS UNTIL THEY GET A. CONCUSSION. IM NOT HAVING IT.

fifth of all - i was extremely close to getting into a fight and beating the shit out of a girl (lets call her B for Bitch) from my class. im gonna make one thing clear - i hate liars, despise them to the core. i hung out with B and a couple other two girls at lunch and she began literally speedwalking when one of those two girls told me that B asked her why im hanging out with them randomly. i immediately yelled at her dumbass to stop running from her problems and turn around cuz im not a kindergarten teacher, she stopped in her tracks and i told her if she was so bothered by me she should tell me instead of being a coward and talking shit behind my back. she got extremely uncomfortable and didnt dare even look me in the eye for the rest of the day and tbh she should be glad she didnt.

as expected, im definitely not gonna be anything like allison or klaus this year - i’ll be going on a yelling and beating spree from how annoyed people already get me here. my class absolutely didnt change for the better, when they all grow up im betting my left eye they’ll be living a sad life in this country fr.

anyway, ur homegirl will be alone at lunch in the bathroom listening to tua music and probably scrolling thru media bc whats better than learning tua footloose dance in the school bathrooms 💀💀💀

overall you and i both are gonna have a tough year it seems, i’ll always be here for therapy sessions tho dearest 😭😭🖤🖤🖤

[mystic-faraday]

UTIL Plays Phoenix Wright: Justice for All (Case: Farewell My Turnabout)

Small Note: It took us two weeks to get through this case, so that’s why there wasnt one of these last week.

- *Nickel Samurai Slashes the Moon* “FUCK THE MOON” “Wow, Majora’s Mask looks different” “Fly me to the moon, and let me kick its fucking ass”

-  Pearl VA: Is he a sussy baka? Mr. Larry taught that word to me Larry VA: I sure did Edgeworth VA: You and me are going to have some words later

- “Prosecute Me Daddy~”

- “No one Maya likes stays alive”

- ”Not to judge people by their appearances but bellboy looked two-faced to me “ 

-  “With a last name like De Killer, I’m sure he did De Killing”

- “The show is real popular with High School Students and Secretaries” “Maya is the center of the ven diagram that is this shows demographic”| “Ven MAYAgram”   

- “Hi, my name’s Phoenix Wright and I went to law school to chase a guy” “Hi Phoenix” “Hi, my name is Elle Woods and I did the same” “Hi Elle”

- “Lotta Hart? More like Lotta Hurt”

-  “The finger prints are like the ballistic markings of your hands!” “Yeah! Put a glove on that gun and you’ll never know where that bullet came from”

- “This bastard (Matt Engarde) is just Sans!”

- “ Is she… yknow.. a lawyer?”

- “(Oldbag) was married to von Karma” “WHO HASN’T VON KARMA FUCKED? He’s the court bicycle”  “Manwhore Von Karma”

- (In relation to Phoenix’s relationships with the Fey Family) “The fey kidnapped him, and turned him into a lawyer”

- “When (Edgeworths)’s doing that pose I feel like something’s going to drop into his arms” The whole call: “Yeah, Phoenix”

-  “I’m tired Miles, carry me” “That is what this whole case is about yes”

-  “Mr. Edgeworth said she was in stable condition” Franziska VA: She’s never been stable

- Director Hotti: Exists The Entire Call: FUCK YOU PIECE OF SHIT DIE

-  A Solid 2 minutes of the VC loosing our shit over the mental image of Edgeworth just picking up a 6 foot tall bear and leaving. 

- “I love how no one questioned if Corrida hired the assassin himself” “He really said ‘take me out’“ “Like with a Gun or on a date?” “Surprise Me” “This whole case is just a date gone wrong”

- Pearl VA: Sorry I had to go get mac and cheese “I just had the mental image of Pearl Summoning Gregory’s spirit in Engarde’s kitchen and having him make Pearl mac and cheese”

- The entire VC got sad when Phoenix accidentally yelled at Gumshoe

- “You two can kiss and make up” “Couples therapy!” “This session of court is couples therapy”

- Edgeworth VA: Shit gets whack every time Wright is in the courtroom Phoenix VA: you know what, that’s fair.

- “I’m just fucking with you your honor” “Fuckery sustained” 

- Coming to the realization that Phoenix is using the exact same method of deflecting that Manfred used in 1-4

- “Image your dragging yourself away from your captor with the last of your strength, and using your channeling power, which is exhausting you even more, and just as you’re about to pass out the last thing you see is MAX GALATICA’S FACE STARING DOWN AT YOU” “Maya loses her "I survived big top" pin”

- Playing the loz chest sound effect when they opened the bear

-“Did he pickpocket Phoenix” “He did” “Slapped Phoenix’s ass” “Buenos Días Phoenix” “In court?” “You get that ass Mr. Edgeworth Sir”

 - Phoenix, checking his pockets:  Babe did you take my evidence? Edgeworth, wearing phoenix's hoodie: our evidence, babe. We share in a relationship

- Entire VC loosing their shit over the ‘Edgeworth Catch’ Phone animation

- Someone: Goes off on a tangent about Phoenix’s eyes. “Heterochromia is the only hetero Phoenix will ever have or be“

- “We discovered the suicide note is forgery”  “Well isnt that a kick in the balls” 

- “Will the court please refrain from unlocking repressed childhood memories”  “That’s what we do here”

- “This is an inclusive courtroom” “No Gender in this court of law”

- Franziska: OBJECTION Entire VC: Explodes in joy

- The “miracle” never happen.

-Engarde VA: *stops talking mid-sentence due to slow internet* “Oh he died” “Oh De Killer is FAST”

- “Look at these two finally talking about their emotions like adults! Oh Hi miss von Karma”

- “Who gave this website to (De Killer) ?”  “Squarespace!” 

Video Version will be uploaded by @musashi at a later date!