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amourdivine · 1 year

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🤍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒.𝐏. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

Hello, lovelies! This was a suggested reading from a dear anonymous. It had a more romantic subtext, but I hope you take out what resonates & leave what doesn’t! If you have any more suggestions, so let me know! Feedback is always welcome. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo. ♡

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how to choose your pile. take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

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disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE ONE 💜

what do they think about you? ten of swords • eight of pentacles • six of cups.

I just heard Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, specifically the bit in which he sings “take me back to the start”. I wonder if you two had a fight, some sort of falling out or heavy disagreement. They think they’ve lost you - this is weighing heavy on their mind. They wish they could go back to when things were simpler, when things weren’t so difficult and anxiety-inducing. I think they feel a lot of shame and blame as well (I heard “blame game”) and I’m not going to lie, pile one, this person may be overthinking this connection, especially the way they see it. It feels heavy, like my chest and my throat are holding so much energy but nothing comes out. They’re not thinking clearly, despite thinking so much, it’s really difficult for them to “think” a way out of this situation you’re in. However, they do wish to work towards a peaceful resolution with you. They want to find a way to make things feel lighthearted and happy for the two of you again. This person could also be listening to a lot of heavy/sad songs, because so many of them are coming through to me. They’re experiencing a lot of self-hatred and very difficult emotions are going through them. They’re mourning some kind of happy ending, but they’re still willing to salvage the relationship if that's something you also desire.

how do they feel towards you? the empress • ace of swords • page of pentacles.

Gosh, there’s so much love here. They not only miss you, but they want to talk to you… to ask you how to work this out. They just want it to work it out between you two, pile one. Even if it’s difficult, like I mentioned in the previous section, they only want you. They don’t see anyone else for them. They don’t want to let you go, to lose you. It’s why their mind is so foggy and so clouded with poor judgment, they feel a lot of despair over the thought of losing the love you two have and shared. If your connection ended, they’re still not over it - they’re refusing to move on, simply because in their heart, they’ve decided it’s you. And I don’t think they’ve fully voiced it out just how much they want you, but they intend to do so. No matter how painful this situation has become, they hold some sort of hope that you’ll want to work things out with them too. They love you in a pure, devoted way and know how unique, how beautiful this connection is.

channeled messages: “i hate myself for what i did to you”, “i can’t forget you”, “you’re beautiful”, runaway, empty roads, highways, road trips, memories, polaroid pictures, “i wish things were easier”, “you betrayed me”, burning bridges, “do you still love me?”, deja vu.

channeled song: ghostin’ by Ariana Grande.

PILE TWO 🩷

what do they think about you? the magician • the lovers • the world

I couldn’t name a more beautiful spread. They put you on a pedestal, sort of - this person sees all that you are and they’re amazed. They admire you, they love you and they can’t see anyone else but you. This person’s got heart eyes when they look at you, maybe their eyes sparkle - pay attention next time you speak to them in person. Although they may wonder if they’re good enough for you, this person truly, deeply is inspired by you. It’s possible this is a friend of yours who’s crushing on you and vice-versa, but neither one of you is willing to admit it yet. This is a dreamy vibe, even, I feel like I’m immersed in Piscean energy. Maybe one of you is Neptune dominant or has Pisces in 1st. It’s the feeling of a high school crush, the intense, beautiful and almost soul-crushing one, but the kind of connection that has a lasting impact. Even if you haven’t known this person for a long time, they are eager to know more about you, all the little things that you do and say are stuck in the back of their mind. They don’t take it for granted. You’re extremely important to them, regardless of the nature of this relationship, you’re someone they want around.

how do they feel towards you? three of cups • five of wands • nine of swords.

They’re anxious, because they’ve got some heavy competition. Even if they see all these positive qualities in you, this person is afraid they’ll ruin the friendship by risking it. So many people are interested in you, that they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of all the people vying for your attention and sometimes, they just wish they could get rid of these feelings already. It’s possible there’s a 3rd party situation going on - either you or them could be in a committed relationship and there’s a lot of guilt and anxiety involved. You’re this person’s wish come true, but they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck in their head about it, fantasizing about coming towards you, talking to you and not feeling so insecure or jealous when they see you with someone else. I got the vivid imagery of someone seeing their crush talking to someone else at a party and being almost soul crushed by the fact that they’re so afraid of approaching the other. It’s giving me fanfiction vibes (in the best way possible, I promise). I’m almost sorry for this person because they’re so blindsided by their pessimism that they can’t fully see a way into being with you, no matter how much they want to. They know they need to make a move before they lose you for good, though.

channeled messages: “i’m so sick of love songs”, “i just want to talk to you”, instagram, DM’s, subtle flirting, “are you alone tonight?”, crush, “i feel invisible”, insecurity, jealousy, bonfire party, college life, “give me back my jacket”, inside jokes.

channeled song: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows ft. Clairo.

PILE THREE 💖

what do they think about you? eight of cups • six of cups • the devil.

“Gone for good”, I just heard that. My playlist started playing sad breakup songs too, it’s honestly a little heartbreaking and quite bittersweet. This person thinks, well, they know you’ve left them behind and you seem done with them. You left them and they’re triggered. They’ve got so much going on in their head, always filled with “what ifs”. Your connection has turned sour and they think you wanted to pursue something better for yourself, something that didn’t trigger the both of you so much. I feel like this connection may have turned toxic, so they know you needed to leave, but nonetheless, they’re grieving, they’re sour and bitter. I don’t know if this person was heavily immature towards you or even disrespectful, but you left them on a chokehold because they didn’t expect you to simply walk away so easily. I don’t think it’s been easy for either one of you. I’m more so feeling a situationship or a friendship kind of vibe here, not a full, official commitment. Everything they see in you is almost a projection of their worst fears. All your worst traits mirror back to them, calling them to do some soul deep healing. I saw the Death card in the back of my mind, so I think this person knows it’s time to move on, to let you go, but they’re still obsessing over this ending you’ve had and it’s possible they lurk on your social media. It’s not an evil or malicious energy, but they’re not in a good headspace to talk or see you right now.

how do they feel towards you? two of swords • knight of cups • ten of wands.

Sometimes they love you, they miss you. Sometimes they just hate everything that came to be about the two of you. They’re tired, overburdened by their feelings, so sick of feeling so much and nothing at the same time. This person can’t really pinpoint exactly what they feel for you, but I got nauseous and almost sick to my stomach? I think they just wish they could erase this pain forever, but sometimes, they wish they could get some closure from you as well. It’s possible they wish they could give you some closure as well. All these messy feelings are taking their time in this person’s heart and body, but I think this connection, as triggering as it may have been, has brought up a lot of things back into the surface. Regardless of how they feel about you, it all ties back to their wounds, their feelings and themselves. I got some heavy Scorpio feelings in the last section and now I’m getting some Libra - I feel like those were significant energies and placements for your pile. This person’s not only heartbroken but almost… burnt out by everything that went down. They’re slowly trying to heal, to let go and forgive, but they’re not having the easiest time. I don’t think they’re “evil eyeing” you in any way, but I also think some distance will do the both of you some good. I feel like Spirit wants to emphasize how good this ending will be for you.

channeled messages: “you deserve better”, “i want to go back to who i was, mental health, physical health, “get over it”, 777, friends with benefits, messing around, fuck around and find out, taylor swift, moved on, finally, second chances, “i was a second option”, simply unrequited.

channeled song: Berenstein by The Band CAMINO | extra: Favourite Song by Tim Chadwick.

PILE FOUR 🩵

what do they think about you? the magician • ace of cups • six of swords.

You’re so nurturing, healing and magical. This person sees you as some sort of fairy, a beautiful, wholesome person who’s got so much love to give and to receive. Even the song that started playing is one of my favorites, a very healing and soft one. They see you as a safe person, an Earth angel, someone who’s almost like their lucky charm. The vibes here aren’t only romantic - they fit for friendships and familial relationships too. They’ve got a lot of fond memories and stories of you. I see someone going through a photo album and laughing to themselves in joy. This person sees a lot of good things in you and you’ve given them some sort of renewed faith in connections and humanity. They know you’ve been through a lot - they see you’re still healing. Every now and then, they catch glimpses of moments when you’re not feeling so good, but they still see your potential and growth nonetheless. I think your words and presence calm this person down. They value your advice immensely, all your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel like Gemini and Leo are significant placements for this pile - I got the Strength card in the back of my mind, with the woman caressing the lion in the card. You bring calm and softness to this person’s life.

how do they feel towards you? queen of pentacles • ace of pentacles • two of wands.

I heard “wife you up”, lol. If this is a romantic connection, this person wants to offer you a deeper form of commitment - in whatever way that means for your connection. I feel like this person is smitten by you, even if you’re friends, you’re their closest, most prized friend. They’re making plans for something bigger, something greater between the two of you. This person views you as someone they could have ultimate success in every way, someone trustworthy and someone they intend on making accommodations for to fit in their life. It’s so soft and sweet, I see a woman arranging and rearranging pillows in a soft-looking bedroom to make sure her guests will be comfortable during their stay. I think they’re making room for you in their heart and mind, even their home as well. Maybe they haven’t told you, but they’re giddy to have met you and to spend more time with you. If this person proposes to you soon, please don’t tell them I told you! I’m not trying to ruin their plans, but let me say your connection has some really sweet, lovely surprises along the way. If you get engaged though, let me know, pile four. I’m really happy for you!

channeled messages: “fight for you”, “let me love you”, acts of service, bouquets, rainy days, “put your head on my shoulder”, “it’s okay to cry”, “i want to be there for you”, “you don’t have to pretend with me”, cupping someone’s face in your hands, comfort food, hugs, ice cream, care bears, pisces, cancer, healing, therapy, inner child.

channeled song: Room Service by Holly Humberstone | extra: Break For You by Valley.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

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garden-variety-jumo · 4 months

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I want to talk about the latest Doctor Who episode looking at monoculture and worldbuilding and how it adds fantastically to the whole episode.

I knew about the twist in the episode before I went into it, so I have less to say about how the racism shocked me and more about the society they function in.

As I mentioned in a previous post, none of them experience the world around them- pretty much at all.

I watched Lindy walk to work and I thought to myself "is that their gardens? They never stop to look at them?" Maicured grass with decorative shrubs- not only is the grass itself a symbol or capitalism and class systems, but it's perfectly kept and that's pretty much all the biodiversity you see.

It's a monoculture, it's not hospitable to insects, and it reveals more about the planet to you. It's not hospitable to insects because they aren't meant to live there. There probably even aren't any, thanks to the forcefields around the city. They may be seen as pests, but they're absolutely vital to an ecosystem. It makes me imagine that even the dirt housing the grass is likely free of microfauna- meaning some other technological intervention is taking place to make the grass stay green- it might not even be real. Which implies nothing can grow.

Also note you also don't see any pets.

Additionally, the doctor that pops up on Lindy's screen notes she doesn't need to urinate. Sure it's just a silly joke about how when she gets scared she suddenly does need to. But it tells you:

1) That is seen as a good thing, having to pee is seen as an inconvenience or maybe a social faux pas

2) If she doesn't need to pee, she doesn't need to drink. If she doesn't need to drink, she doesn't need to eat either

And if she doesn't need to eat, she probably doesn't, and she almost definitely never cooks either. I'll say it a million times- as will Dungeon Meshi as it's surged in popularity: you need to eat to be alive and, in fact, being alive is all about being able to eat- finding balance and enjoyment and sharing experiences and staying alive. It's a celebration of who you are and where you came from and how good it is to still be alive. And in their society- it's just gone.

Everyone dresses so similarly and even acts similarly. Everyone dresses in clean cut clothing and pastels- even those who have more eccentric styling or hair, they fit into this world and it's not commented on. The most diversity they have is Goth Paul and even he doesn't dress fully in black- he has an almost pastel purple in his hair. So even with those "different" they're actually quite similar

(Thinking about it. Did anyone in that episode have curly hair besides the Doctor...?)

And it all leads back to monoculture. Even think about how everyone in the city is the same sort of demographic: 17-27, rich, white. Likely also able bodied and neurotypical. Nothing can live or thrive in a monoculture, no one can or will change, and so they stagnate- as does the world around them.

People become more accepting and open and kind when they try new experiences and meet new people, by expanding their worlds, they become more tolerant- but this is a world in which that can never happen. Even Ricky September, who turns off his bubble, stays inside to read. He never goes out, never tries anything- so not even he would have the capacity to change, truly.

Knowledge is such a powerful tool as well as being open to outside influences and change. By living with people who are the same, they can never take on the wisdom of their elders, and by living in a monoculture, their fashion will never change, they will never try new food, they will never appreciate new growth on plants or learn to take care of pets.

They can never change or grow. And the racism building their society has ensured that. They will never learn empathy, because they will never interact with different races and are taught to be disgusted by them. They will never be able to experience the joys of those cultures either, not that they deserve them, they won't pick up new fashion or recipes or dance or music. And from their point of view, they never want to.

Experiencing the world will teach you much more than books ever could. Ricky September showed bravery and empathy from his limited freedom, much more than Lindy was capable of. But he would still be racist if it came down to it, because why would he be otherwise?

This is their perfect society: nothing can live there and nothing ever will. And thanks to it, not one of them will survive.

#long post #worldbuilding #doctor who spoilers #15th doctor #dw spoilers #doctor who #dot and bubble #lindy pepper bean #ricky september #ncuti gatwa

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johnwickb1tsch · 20 days

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🌻Small Town Girl🌻 ~ Part 1

Tex Johnson thought he was just passing through…until he set his eyes on you.

A little Tex x Reader fic for my beloved @treedaddymcpuffpuff. I love you bool!!! I hope you like this. It’s a mix of you and me and shit i made up and The Gift and conversations we’ve had and that silly rodeo fic we talked about and probably some sookie stackhouse and justified and longmire and other cowboy media that lives rent free in my brain at all times 😆 this is like 7000 words i apologize in advance…🙃 ILYSM!!!

Warnings: mentions of past spousal abuse, mentions of animal abuse, religious trauma...you know, the usual social problems of depressed rural america... I can say that because I live here. divider by strangergraphics-archive

To be fair, you saw the trouble coming from a mile away.

Or at least…a hundred yards, because that’s where he parked his ‘69 Chevelle outside the diner in the middle of your shift. You watched him swagger up in denim, boots, and a bitchin’ fringe leather jacket out the corner of your eye, because you were taking someone’s order. And you cursed the gods when he sprawled himself in a seat in your section, long legs extended out partly in the aisle. He was going to trip someone–or maybe he was just hoping you’d ask him sweetly to move those fancy-tooled shit-kickers to their proper position.

Your capacity for sweetly went up in smoke about an hour ago.

“Hi, can I get you started with something to drink?”

He looks up at you, all dark eyes and smoldering charm–yes, you’re sure he knows it, too–offering up a half smile that makes your heart stop even though you tried to brace yourself. And wow, goddamn if he doesn’t have the balls to look you up and down before answering, “Think I’m in the mood for somethin’ sweet.” His smile widens as you narrow your eyes down at him.

“You want a milkshake?”

You swear there is a sparkle in his eye as you ask it.

“Why yes, I believe I do. What flavor you got?”

You blink, heat blooming across your chest and up your neck. He sees it too, the cheeky bastard, that devil-may-care curl of lips widening more.

“We have chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and banana.”

“Hmm. That’s a hard choice, darlin’.”

“You need some time to think about it?”

He chuckles at your sass. “Nah. How ‘bout vanilla. With a cherry on top?”

“Hard to find ‘round here, but I’ll see what I can do,” you deadpan, doodling with concentration on your order pad.

This tickles his funny bone something fierce, those lovely eyes shining. Good Lord, it’s just not fair, the types of temptation the Devil is allowed to set in front of you mere mortals.

However, you’re not falling for it. You’re not. You learned the hard way to be wary of tall, dark, and handsome men with a bit of the devil in them. Because before you were y/n y/ln, your name was Mrs. Donnie Barksdale, and you’ve got the scars to prove it.

“Comin’ right up, mister.”

“Tex.”

“Pardon?”

“That’s my name. Tex.”

He is a charming bastard. You’re not falling for it. You just gotta keep telling yourself that.

“Obviously an alias.” With the tip of your tennis shoe you nudge his big booted foot out of the aisle. “You’re gonna hurt someone with them things.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that.”

You were not playing footsie with this gorgeous stranger. You were just moving a tripping hazard.

You’re not falling for it.

You’re not so convinced either, as you go to make his drink.

***

A little later, when you bring out his burger and fries, he asks, “Why don’t you set with me a while?”

You roll your eyes, withdrawing a roll of silverware from your apron. “I can’t sit down and jaw with you, I’ll get fired.”

He gives you a pouty face, and it should be illegal for a grown-ass-man to look so cute. “When’s your break?”

“Not for hours,” you lie.

“I’ll wait for you, darlin’.”

You snort in answer to that, even while a storm of butterflies goes crazy in your belly.

“Surely you have somethin’ better to do.”

He shrugs. “I just finished a job. Takin’ time for a little vacation on my way home.”

“Oh yeah? What do you do?”

“Erm…I’m in situational…solutions…management.”

“Wow. That’s not vague at all. You in the mob or somethin’?” you tease.

He lifts a brow, but doesnt answer immediately. It gives you an uneasy feeling, before he flashes that good ol’ boy smile again.

“Wouldn’t that be some shit?”

Sometimes you get feelings about things, and there is something about this man that makes you uneasy. You think your first instincts were right about him. He needs to be kept at arm’s length. Or maybe the proverbial ten foot pole would be more ideal. The sooner he moves on down the highway, the better.

He lingers long after his burger and shake are gone, people watching, looking out the window…and looking at you. You can feel his gaze on you, like he is a wolf waiting patiently in the treeline for his opportune moment. You have to walk past him after taking a family their order of food, and he asks you, “So what do you do for fun in a little town like this?”

“We’re all Baptists ‘round here, mister, no fun allowed.”

He scoffs, eyes still shining, but you can tell, his patience is finally wearing a little thin. Well, good. Hopefully he’ll get the hint and go. You’re sure a man who looks like him, tall and strapping and handsome as a movie star, is used to women throwing themselves at him. Maybe he thought you’d be a quick score because you’d be grateful for the attention. Boy howdy, did he read you wrong.

“Did I see a sign for a rodeo a street back?”

“Yeah, the fair and rodeo’s here this weekend.”

“Not your idea of fun?”

“Yes and no. I don’t like seein’ the animals get mistreated.” Not all of them were, of course. But the boys could be a little rough when they were roping the young steers, and you knew you’d have a bone to pick with the owner of the local petting zoo later.

“Huh. No, that’s not fun. Someone should do something about it.” That sparkle has returned to those polished onyx orbs, and you are equal parts intrigued and wary.

“Easier said than done, believe me.”

“We should team up tonight. Give ‘em hell.”

You raise an eyebrow to that. Is he asking you out? Your heart does a little flip, before leaping in a swan dive to splat on the pavement. Don’t be stupid.

“I don’t think so.”

“Aww, come on, honey, give me a chance. I’m not a bad man.”

He’s charming as a snake with an apple to sell, and you’re pretty sure he’s lying.

“That’s exactly what bad men say.”

“What would a sweet thing like you know about that?”

You sigh, suddenly feeling about fifty years older than you are. “I know enough.” You don’t really mean to, but in a tick you can’t quite break you brush your hair behind your ear, touching the scar on your temple from the last time Donnie beat the hell out of you. The flesh is still raised, if not faded, the span of a few years softening the evidence, if only on the outside.

You move your hand as soon as you realize what you’re doing, but not before this sharp-eyed man before you notices. His affable expression darkens, and you decide you would not like to meet him in a dark alley on a moonless night. “Give me a name, darlin’.”

For a moment you are taken aback. You don’t know this man, and he doesn’t know you. The offer to play white knight for you is both titillating, and tiresome, if you’re being honest. You’ve heard it before from men who wanted to impress you. None of them panned out. No one wants to take on Donnie Barksdale.

“I don’t need a man to protect me. I’ve got a shotgun for that. You want any dessert?”

Like flipping a switch, he grins up at you, and though he is being friendly, there is still a hint of fang in it, like a wolf on the scent of something to hunt.

“I believe you, honey. I better skip the pie. Gotta watch my girlish figure.” He pats his slim waist, and you can’t stop yourself from looking. Inwardly, you sigh. With your lip between your teeth you add up his final bill on your notepad. “Feel free to add your phone number on there,” he teases, to which you just shake your head sadly.

“There are plenty of pretty girls in this town who will be more than happy to entertain you, Mr. Tex,” you assure him.

Again, he shoots you that pout, and jesus god it should be illegal in twenty states, it gives you such a high.

“But none of them are you, darlin’.”

You roll your eyes, even if you kinda feel like you’re floating on a cloud right now. Goddammit.

“You can nurse your broken heart over at TJ’s by the creek, it’s where everyone goes around here.”

“Including you?”

“No.”

“Hmm, Miss Hard To Get. You’re really gonna make me comb through the whole crowd to find you at the fair tonight?”

“Who said I’m going to the fair tonight?”

“My gut.”

You hand him his check with a smile that does not hide your annoyance. “You can pay at the register.”

You hide in the back, finally taking your break, and deep in your idiotic heart you are sad to see him go. You hear the engine of the vintage sportscar rev from all the way in the kitchen, and you come out just in time to see the back end of him rolling down the road.

Good riddance. You think it, but a part of you doesn’t really agree. Ah well. You’ve always had a weak spot for strays, but that one would have taken the cake. He was A Bad Idea™ and you were much better off without him.

When you go to check the table you see he’s left you a cash tip that will cover your feed bills for a whole month, and your knees go a little weak.

***

When your shift ends you get in your old car and head home, out of town, down the highway and through the woods, to the old farmhouse your grandparents left to you. Maybe you won’t be on the cover of Country Living any time soon, but the battered old clapboard house is home, and has been home to members of your family since the mid 1800s.

Now, it is also home to the assortment of rescued animals you have picked up along the way. If your grandmother, god rest her soul, knew you kept a five-foot tegu lizard in an enclosure in her parlor she would probably expire all over again. But then again…if anyone had ever forgiven you for your stranger quirks, it was your Mawmaw.

Your parents, not so much, which was ironic, considering. There was a reason the family farm went to you and not your mother. She never really got the hang of the whole adulting thing, falling in “love” with dirtbag after dirtbag after your parents divorce, ping ponging between bouts of addiction and religious righteousness. How you came to dread the words, “I am saved!”

You find it funny, that the people who bang their bible the hardest are usually the ones who have the biggest sins to answer for.

But when it came to bad decisions, maybe your apple didn’t fall far from the tree, considering your ex, but in your defense you grew up with Donnie Barksdale. His family’s land adjoined yours, and they had been in this holler just as long as your own ancestors had. They were well regarded around your tiny rural community, and half the folks in your town could hardly believe the rumors of the horrible things that man used to do to you. The other half thought you must have been asking for it–what can you count on in these parts, if not good ol’ fashioned Christian misogyny?

Once upon a time, Donnie Barksdale had been your best friend. You ran wild through the woods in your youth, building forts and catching critters. You fished in his pond and played in the hayloft of your grandparents’ barn. Then you got a little older, and your shirt filled out and the hormones kicked in, and maybe it was to no one’s surprise when you became lovers. Highschool sweethearts to a married couple, right after graduation. You could have gone to college on a scholarship, but Donnie wanted you home.

It was easier to control you that way, you came to find out.

He didn’t beat on you at first. It took a while, for the disappointments of real life to set in. He never got drafted to play pro ball, and he was too proud to take up an honest trade. The pressures of living in a depressed rural area, with no good jobs and few good prospects, took their toll. Reagan-era policies made it easy for corporations to run all the little brick-and-mortar businesses into the ground, and trickle-down economics left your little community behind. Alcohol, meth, and Walmart filled in the voids.

With nothing better to do, Donnie started having affairs, and drinking too much, and when he finally got home he took his frustrations out on you.

You try not to think about it now, but you do, every day. You’re not sure what hurt more: the actual physical beatings, or the betrayal by the boy who you’d loved madly since you were just eight years old.

But there is something to be said, for the healing to be found with your hands in the dirt. You were such a broken thing, when you took over your grandmother’s overgrown garden years ago. Now, your little farmstead is a pollinator’s paradise filled with flowers and food. There’s something about sitting in the quiet with the butterflies flitting around that makes you feel like you’ve done something right in the world. You feed the birds, and you care for your animals, and you take life day by day.

It’s a simple life, but a good one. You’ve run a long road, but you’re finally starting to feel like you’re going to be ok.

And, you intend to keep it that way. That means not going for rides in fast cars with handsome strangers, no matter how lonely you are, or if it seems like he would be good to you, even if just for a night.

You did good today, sticking to your guns.

You need another man in your life like you need a hole in the head. “Boys are so rude,” you expound to your chickens, and your hens seem to cluck in agreement, their feathers so silky soft against your ankles as they wait for a treat. The last rooster who hurt your girls for his own gratification lost his head and ended up in your cookpot. If only it was so easy to dispose of belligerent human males.

You get your scoop, doling out some extra scratch grains to lure the chickens into their pen to lock them up early.

You’ve got somewhere to be.

As it turns out, Tex was absolutely right about your intention to go to the rodeo, though you’re pretty sure he was blowing smoke about trying to find you. It’s a small town, but everyone will be there. You’ll be a needle in a haystack, and you take some comfort in that as you put on a black sunflower print sundress and your battered boots.

You feed the cat, the dogs, your ancient conure parrot, and lock up the house. You have to go see a man about a horse–and you’re kind of dreading it.

***

You are not the only adult in the petting zoo area, which is some small relief. It takes a little while for Dale to even notice you are there, sneaking his skin and bones mini horse molasses treats from your purse in an attempt to help the poor thing put on some weight. It’s starving and its hooves need a trim and you could strangle Dale Manes with your two bare hands.

You pass his place on the way home, and you regularly throw hay and treats over the fence in an attempt to feed his animals–something he clearly doesn’t seem to think it’s necessary to do much.

He’s a cousin of Donnie’s, which has never kept him from ogling you. With some extra cash in your purse thanks to your handsome stranger, you’re hoping that maybe you can sweet talk Dale into relinquishing ownership.

Maybe it’s a lost cause, but maybe you can’t help but think about how many times people had looked at you in a bedraggled state, knew you needed help, and kept on walking with a “Bless her heart,” muttered under their breath.

This little horse gobbles his treats down and bumps his head against you for scritches, leaning on you like a dog.

“Y/n, I see you spoiling my horse.”

You grit your teeth, before facing the music. “Hi Dale.”

“You know, I got you on my game cam trespassing on my property.” You can’t tell by his tone if he’s mad or not. It feels like you’re walking into a trap. Donnie used to play this verbal kind of game with you. It must be genetic.

“Trespassing’s a strong word,” you say, pouring extra sugar into your drawl.

“I don’t know what else to call it. Illegal feeding of animals?”

You give him a sheepish smile, when all you really want to do is kick him in the balls.

“Oh come on, Dale. You know this horse is skinny. It’s ok, I know how things go. I had some extra so I spread it around.”

It is not ok and you have literally lived on ramen cups some months so your animals could eat well and get the medicine they need.

“Well ain’t you a peach?”

“Dale?”

He leers at you, sidling closer, and your skin crawls.

“Yeah, honey?”

“Sell me this horse.”

He gives you a look. “You’d ask a man to sell his livelihood?”

You happen to know he gets by on government draw and dealing pain pills just fine.

“I like Ziggy. He’s my buddy. Let him come live with me.” The little horse in question is trying to nuzzle into your purse for more molasses treats.

Dale takes a step closer, and it takes every iota of your self control not to step back.

“You really are a piece of work.”

“Excuse me?”

“You conniving little bitch. I know it was you that called Animal Welfare on me last month.”

The sweetness drains from you like a flushing toilet. “Fat lot of good it did, I guess.”

“You little bitch. You know how lucky you are? If you were my wife I would have killed you and buried you somewhere no one would find you.”

“Wow. I guess that’s why your wife ran off to Florida.”

“Cunt.” He raises his hand to you, right here in front of children and mothers and God and the whole damn town.

“What’s goin’ on here?” A strong arm loops around your waist, pulling you back out of striking range. “We horse tradin’, or are we pickin’ fights we can’t win?”

With wide eyes you look up to see the man from the diner, somehow even more handsome than before because he’s cleaned up and changed his shirt, the good looking bastard.

“Were you raisin’ your hand to this lady?” he asks. His tone is jovial, but there is an edge beneath the surface that does not escape your notice. You learned the hard way, how to dissect the subtle cadences of a man’s words.

“Believe me when I tell you she deserves it.”

“Huh.” Out of the blue Tex’s fist connects with Dale’s jaw, knocking him out cold. Ziggy startles at the body hitting the ground, darting on his little legs to the other side of the enclosure. All the families stare, shocked that someone would dare, though no one rushed in to see if Dale was still breathing.

“Well, that’s our cue to go.”

“What?”

You are in shock, and it does not even occur to you to fight him when Tex takes your hand and pulls you through the crowd. You do not stop until you are on the other side of the fairgrounds, amidst the games and the dubiously safe rides.

“Oh. My. God,” you wheeze, when finally you pause by the Whirl-A-Gig. “Do you know what you just did?”

“You’re welcome,” he answers with that shit-eating grin, and you almost want to sock him yourself.

“You should have let him hit me!”

“What?” Eyes wide, Tex is incredulous before you.

“God, I didn’t plan it that way but it would have been perfect! He woulda gone to jail, and the county would have to seize his animals.” At least the local Human Society would feed the poor things.

Tex blinks, looking down at you like you’ve grown a second nose. “Did you miss the part where he was going to knock your head off?”

“I’m used to it,” you muse absently, annoyed to the soles of your boots that you missed this opportunity. “If I were you I’d git while the gettin’s good. The whole Barksdale clan is going to come after you now.”

His grin is like a baring of fangs. “Sounds like fun.”

“Huh. You ain’t gonna think so when ten of ‘em roll up on you in your fancy sportscar.”

“Meh. I can handle a pickup truck full of cousin fuckers. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

A chortle escapes you before you can stop it. You cross your arms defensively, trying not to smile.

“The Barksdales are some tough customers, mister.” You had to be, to survive back in the day, but somewhere along the line it just got…out of hand.

“Sounds like you know ‘em pretty well.”

“I was married to one of them for the worst six years of my life. Believe me, you don’t want none of what they got.”

Tex takes this opportunity to step into you, and now that the excitement is over you are reminded that you have six feet of pure cowboy standing in front of you. The pretty tooled embroidery on his shirt emphasizes how wide his chest is. You can smell the heady spiced scent of his cologne, and it hits you like a drug. Goddammit.

“Sounds like you’re worried about me, darlin’.” His voice is like warm molasses.

“Psshh. You better worry about yourself,” you grouse with extra venom, annoyed. “I don’t think you have the sense God gave a chicken.”

He chuckles at that, and you try to back away. Try is the operative word, because he has your hands in his again. “Oh come on, darlin’, don’t leave me yet. Is this the thanks your knight in shining armor gets?”

His hands engulf yours, long strong fingers wrapped around your palms, and you feel more than a little weak inside.

“Knight in shining armor my fanny. Your little stunt is going to get us both hurt.”

“My stunt? Were you or were you not trying to buy that horse when you knew damn well he wasn’t going to sell it to you?”

You sigh. “Well…I had a little windfall burnin’ a hole in my pocket, and I had to try.”

He pulls you a little closer–amazingly, you let him. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind when I left that for you.”

“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”

“Well…” Goddammit, if he does not take the opportunity to sidle even closer, so that your fronts are nearly pressed together, and you think you just might faint. “I was hoping you might treat yourself to somethin’ nice. Like a pretty new dress.” He looks you up and down, making a low sound in his throat of appreciation. “But I see you already had that handled. Mmm, you look good.”

You sigh, a long suffering sound of exasperation. Is there something wrong with this man? Because he can’t seem to stop running his mouth. And maybe you’re losing your mind, but…you’re kind of starting to like it.

“I think you might have a screw loose, mister.”

He grins wide for you, in that moment looking every bit the outlaw, with his shining dark eyes and hair brushing his collar.

“That may be true…” He leans down towards you, and you think you just might die. “But I’m pretty sweet.” You’re afraid he’s going to try to kiss you, and you’re even more afraid you’re going to let him. But he just bumps your forehead with his before paying you that devil-may-care grin, and you swear your heart stops in your chest.

This man is such a mistake, but you feel your defenses dissolving like sugar in hot tea.

“Want to split a funnel cake?”

As it turns out, it’s the nail in your coffin.

“Yeah.”

He grins like a man who just won the lottery, tucking you into his side under the shelter of his well-muscled arm like you’ve always belonged there, and goddammit if it doesn’t feel good to feel protected. Too good, maybe. It’s something you cannot allow yourself to get used to.

“I knew you’d come around, darlin’.”

It’s been a while since you made a big mistake. Like…less than an hour, at least, so you guess you were due up. As bad decisions go… You look this tall cowboy up and down, his denim-clad legs about a mile long swaggering beside you.

“How did you find me?” it occurs to you to ask.

“I remembered what you said about liking animals, and figured the petting zoo would be a good place to start.”

You pause in your step, almost tripping as you look up at him. Maybe it shouldn’t be this surprising, that a man actually listened to something you said. But god. It twists and squeezes something inside you. It’s painful and wonderful and you really should run before this gets out of hand. But he is looking down at you with those smoldering dark eyes, and a part of you already knows that it’s too late.

***

“So, my babygirl likes animals,” muses Tex beside you, taking a bite of funnel cake with a grin. “Let me guess. You’ve got a whole house full of strays.”

You sigh, tearing off a piece, a good crispy bit with plenty of powdered sugar. “And a barn.” You have chickens and ducks and rabbits and goats that came to you post-Easter after people realized the fuzzy little things turned into full grown animals that needed housing and room. You have a conure that outlived its previous owner, and a bulldog whose tongue doesn’t quite fit in her mouth, and the world’s only sweet chihuahua who loves to snuggle and needs medication that seems to get more and more expensive every time you have to buy it. The reptiles came to you from a family whose child changed their mind, and the cat just kinda showed up at your door one day, the way they do…

Most men who hear the extent of your menagerie swiftly run in the other direction. They think you’re a hoarder, or if they stick around they want to be the sole focus of all your attention–and it’s just not going to happen. They leave after a month or so, or you run them off.

You have no reason to think this won’t end the same way.

“That’s alright, darlin’. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with havin’ a soft heart for critters.”

They all say that at first.

Ah well. It’s not like you’re looking to get married again, anyhow. You just…get a little lonely, sometimes, when it’s just you and the dogs and darkness outside.

“Hmm. That’s not the review I usually get. So what about you? You know I have to ask if you’re really from Texas.”

He grins. “Guilty. But I live in L.A. now.”

“Oh yeah? Are you an actor?”

“I was a stuntman for a little while.”

“Anything I’ve seen?”

He laughs, an open guffaw of mirth that makes his eyes shine and your heart fill to bursting. “Well, you look like a diehard fan of Death Charger II.”

“Oh yeah, I used to watch that with my Grandma,” you tease.

He snorts and pulls off another piece of pastry. “It was fun for a while, but I could tell I was just going to end up with a broken body and an empty bank account.”

“So…what do you do now?”

He looks up at you through those long dark lashes, and you swear to god your heart does a pirouette in your chest.

“I can’t really talk about it,” he tells you, which you guess is actually a more honest answer than feeding you some bullshit lie. “Pays well, though.”

“Okay…that’s not creepy at all.”

He pays you that open grin and offers you the last little crunchy morsel from his fingertips. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, darlin’. You’re in good hands.”

After a long pause you take the bite, your lips just barely brushing the tips of his fingers. But it ignites a fire in his eyes that has you squirming in your seat, your thighs unbearably moist. Thank god you’re wearing a black dress.

“Let’s walk around,” he proposes, and you agree, even if you’re afraid your legs might not work anymore.

***

Hand in hand, you wander the fairgrounds, people watching, talking, and playing a few games. Tex is fun, and he is sweet, never once letting go of your hand, except during the clown toss which he swears is rigged (and you agree). He makes a crack about his balls being too big to fit in its mouth, and you break down in a giggling fit as the two of you walk away. It feels a little bit like magic, wandering around amidst the bright lights and the warm night and for the first time in a long time, you realize you’re not afraid of running into one of Donnie’s clansmen with an axe to grind or family honor to hold up or some other testosterone-driven bullshit that terrorizes your waking hours and your nightmares.

“Haunted house?”

“No way.”

“Swings?”

“Don’t trust them.”

“Roller coaster?”

“I like my spine aligned right where it is, thank you.”

“How ‘bout the ferris wheel?” Tex proposes with a lift of brows, and even though you know exactly what he’s up to, you finally agree. Tucked into the tiny bucket together in a space that is not meant for adults but god is it lovely to sit with your side molded to his, Tex sneaks his arm around you with a come-hither curl of lips.

“Don’t even think about it,” you warn him with a venom you absolutely do not feel at this point. You make a show of leaning away, even though there’s absolutely nowhere for you to go in the little compartment.

“Oh, I’m thinkin’ about it,” he assures you with a devilish glint in his eye, pulling you closer, and off you go in a big vertical circle. It is fun, to see all the lights and the people below, and the rodeo round pen on the other side of the grounds.

Then the ride stops with a grinding halt that doesn’t feel quite right. The two of you are at the very apex of the wheel, on top of the world. You look around, a little nervous. Oh god, please don’t let you get stuck here.

“It’s alright, darlin’” he soothes you, with a wolfish grin that is not comforting at all.

You can see the roping event with a bird’s eye view. You flinch as a cowboy throws a loop around a steer’s neck, jerking it around. At least the second cowboy misses the ankles. You stick your tongue out at them, knowing no one can see.

“Aww, that little grass puppy’s fine,” Tex tries to assure you. “They’re pretty tough.”

Once upon a time your family made part of their living running cattle. You know they’re tough, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair to treat them that way just for fun. “There are ways to train them without the rope, you know. They’re very food motivated.”

“But what’s a cowboy without his rope, honey?”

“A farmer.”

He chuckles at that. “It just lacks a certain prestige, don’t it?”

“Fuck you very much. My family’s been farming since before this place was even a state.”

He chuckles at your fiery response, clearly enjoying getting your goat. “Erm–no offense.”

“Pssh. It’s not about prestige. It’s men and their testosterone poisoning, always havin’ to show off at everyone else’s expense.” You’re sure he won’t like it, but you say it anyway. You wait for him to get surly, like all men do when you say what you’re really thinking, and it occurs to you that maybe you should have waited until you’re not trapped in a tin can of an amusement ride with him before insulting him.

“Hmm. Well…there might be somethin’ to that.”

He could have knocked you over with a feather…if you weren’t already mashed into an enclosed seat with him.

“Yeah, there might be,” you say more softly, quickly looking away when he tries to meet your eyes.

“Hey now.” He strokes your arm with his fingertips lightly, drawing little circles and driving you crazy. “We’re silly creatures, ain’t we? I get it.”

The fact that this man, who is 6 feet plus of pure masculine energy, would say such a thing to you–well frankly it blows you the fuck away.

“Showin’ off is fine,” you sigh, still unable to meet his eyes. “It’s just…why does someone always have to get hurt for the sake of it? Usually…someone innocent.”

“You’re right,” he agrees gently. “It shouldn’t be that way.”

Now you do get up the courage to look at him, though it feels like you’re drowning when you do. You really thought you had this man’s number. He dresses like a cowboy and drives a vintage muscle car, walks with James Dean swagger and he even punched a man out for you not but over an hour ago. But here he is, talking to you…like women matter. Like you matter.

“We’ve been up here a really long time,” you muse, blinking the tears out of your eyes while you peer over the side.

“Ah well. I’m sure they’ll get us down eventually.” He does not seem worried at all. “I like the view.” He’s looking at you while he says it, curling a little lock of hair from the nape of your neck around his finger, and an embarrassing shudder gallops down your spine. “Hmm, someone’s sensitive,” he says with a little smile.

You shoot him a glare out the corner of your eye. You don’t think you’ve convinced him by half.

“It’s just cold up here.”

It is the tail end of summer, and still 80 degrees out with the sun down.

“Sure it is, sweetheart.”

You sigh, and you don’t know how it’s possible, considering your position, but somehow he seems to sidle closer.

“Tex?”

“Yeah, beautiful?”

You don’t really know what you intended to say–you look at his mouth, those full, well-drawn lips, and you forget how to breathe for a few crucial seconds. You are lightheaded, the world spinning as he closes the distance, and gently presses his mouth to yours.

Someone moans, and only belatedly do you realize it’s you.

You feel him smile against your mouth, before going in for the kill, his long fingers sliding up into your hair to hold you to him. If you’d felt trapped you would have fought him, no matter how stupid and no matter how high up you were sitting in this rattletrap of a ride held together with rusty bolts and bubblegum. But you feel…free, like for a few blessed moments, you’ve found a part of yourself you left somewhere. A part of yourself you needed, even though you didn’t realize it at the time of losing it.

You let this man devour you, his tongue sliding against yours in a dance you feel all the way in your clit. Pressing your thighs together does not help at all, and he smiles again like he knows exactly what your problem is. When his paw of a hand settles just above your knee, squeezing the soft flesh of your thigh, his thumb finding its way just past the hem of your dress, you smack your hand over his. “Hold up, cowboy,” you pant, knowing you sound ridiculous but unable to put any real steel in your tone.

His eyes glitter like the night sky as he pulls back to look at you, breathing heavy through his nose. “You sweet little thing. I could just eat you up.” He nibbles your lower lip again, and you think you might expire. He doesn’t force the issue, his hand staying right where you’re holding it. You can feel your heartbeat in your ears, a steady timpani roll that does not help with your lightheadedness. The carriage sways slightly in the summer breeze, and you’re not sure that you’re not floating in mid air with nothing to catch you. Your grip on his hand tightens, desperately seeking something to ground you. You’re not sure if this is a panic attack, or vertigo, or unadulterated lust.

“Don’t get too full of yourself…but I think I might faint.”

The hunger in his expression turns into concern. “You alright, darlin’?”

“Just…hold on to me, ok?”

“Alright, alright. You gotta breathe for me though. Deep breath.” You do as you’re told. “Then out.” You do this, and you close your eyes, and you start to feel better just as the wheel finally starts to turn again.

As excruciatingly fun as it was to be squashed together with this delicious specimen of a man, you are so grateful when it’s time to get out and put your feet on terra firma once more. Tex steadies you with an arm around your waist, and you just happen to be looking up at the right time to catch the ferris wheel operator’s conspiratorial wink at your ad hoc date.

“Sonofabitch. Did you bribe him to stick us up there?”

Tex chuckles, flinching as you poke him in the ribs. “Hey, you ain’t even met my Mamma yet!”

“Did you?” you demand, unrelenting in your attack. He wiggles like he is ticklish, and you feel like you have stumbled upon crucial intelligence of the enemy.

“I might have slipped him somethin’...”

“You imp! I thought we were stuck!”

He is laughing as you tickle him and poke him, until maybe your fingernail goes a little too far in between his ribs and he grabs you up with a growl that you feel in your loins, putting a stop to your antics with your arms pressed to your sides and your body pressed to his. “You ok? I didn’t know you were scared of heights.”

You’re not really. Scared of feeling things, is another matter.

“I’m ok.”

“Good.” He dips his head to kiss you again, and you let him for about 2.5 seconds before turning your head.

“Tex…”

“Yeah, honey?”

“I think…I think I better go home.”

His expression falls like you kicked his puppy. “Oh. Did I…do somethin’? I’m sorry, darlin’.”

He did somethin’. He’s done everything right, and suddenly you are scared shitless of where this could lead.

“No, I’ve had fun,” you tell him honestly. “But I have to work tomorrow, and I’m tired. I should go home.”

“Oh.” He sticks out that pouting lip, and it really should be illegal for a grown man to look so adorable. “Can I…come see you for lunch then?”

“I guess…I can’t stop you.”

“Would you want to though?”

Therein lay the million dollar question.

“Maybe not?”

He smiles, and it feels like a special gift, just for you. “Alright. Tomorrow then. Let me walk you to your car at least.”

Considering what you got up to earlier that evening, it wasn’t a bad idea. “Ok.”

You exchange one last lingering kiss before he tucks you down into your driver's seat and makes ao show of buckling you in. You know it's a ploy to feel you up a little but it makes you giggle anyway. “Tex…I can buckle my own damn seat belt.”

“I know, darlin’.” He leans on the roof of your car, looking down at you like you’re something precious, preventing you from closing your door. You need to go because if you stay in his company any longer you are going to melt into a pile of goo.

“Tex…”

He sighs. “Alright, fine. Tomorrow. You better be ready to take your break with me.” He makes sure your legs are out of the way before shutting your door and tapping on the roof. Why do men do that, like a car is a horse? Giddyup. You think it would be horrifyingly hilarious, if your late-model car decided to play it’s occasional game of let’s not start until you try five times. But no, the old soldier dutifully responds to the turn of your key, and carries you away through the grass parking lot, onto the highway, and away from the man you’re afraid you would like to curl up in bed with and not leave for a month.

That man is pure trouble…and you are pretty sure you want more of him.

#tex johnson #tex johnson x you #keanu reeves #small town au #tex johnson x reader #keanu reeves x reader #donnie barksdale #donnie barksdale x you #past mention at least #this is not a pro donnie fic im sorry 😆#small town girl tex fic

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sibelin · 7 months

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How to find new goth music that you'll love : a silly tutorial for people wanting to find new dark songs to obsess about.

Okay so following my last post, I'm going to do a tiny tutorial on how I find new goth/post-punk/darkwave/etc music and bands with only two tools : Internet and a bit of free time. I can guarantee it's worth it, especially if you want to invest yourself more into the subculture. Supporting new and active bands is a must if you want to see the goth genre flourish.

(Sorry in advance, most the screenshots will be in french. And if there's typos, my bad. I did my best but english is not my native language!)

the "Similar Artists" feature.

Probably one of the easiest way to find bands similar to the one you already like is using a website that will give you similar artists. This feature is a common one on listening plateforms like Spotify (left) or Last.fm (right). I tend to prefer the Last.fm one because you can see what genres the artists are tagged with. This gives you way more informations about the band, its influences and why it's in the similar artist section in the first place. You can also click on these tags to find other bands or, even better, repeat the process with the newer bands you find to delve deeper down the rabbit hole!

Both these exemples are "similar bands" found on the Boy Harsher page.

2. Playlists and sets

This one sounds obvious but it's one of the most efficient method to find new music without putting too much work into it. The only thing you have to keep in mind is to be precise with your keywords. For exemple, if you want to find new goth music but don't like EBM, you'll have to type your research with keywords like "gothrock", "deathrock" or "synthpop" "darkwave", etc....

Personally, there is two plateforms that I use fairly often for this purpose but I'm pretty sure it exists on every listening plateforms, so feel free to use the one you prefer. For me, it's Youtube and Spotify. I tend to prefer Youtube because it's more like a DJ set, with someone picking a limited amount of songs and new releases and sharing them like every few months. There are several accounts that do this, you just have to keep an eye out for them.

The images featured are the first playlists that pop up when I type "goth 2024" and "post-punk 2024" in the mentionned plateforms.

Keep in mind that you won't like everything and that you can skip the songs until you find one that makes you bop your head dracula style.

3. Music labels and samplers

We're entering a more niche category with this one. So, you really like a band and want to find something similar or, at least, something with the same qualities (be it the level of production, the subgenres explored, etc). Well, labels can help you! A music label is a production or publishing company that usually have several bands to manage. Some bands, of course, do everything by themselves but for the others, it's a GREAT way to find new similar music.

You can find the labels by looking at a band's website, social media or, even more efficiently, by looking at the records themselves. Usually, the label name/logo is somewhere on the cover. When you find it, you can simply type the name of the label and find the artists that are associated with it.

A lot of labels have a strong presence on Bandcamp and do "samplers". These are basically playlists featuring the artists they publish. If you don't want to click on every artists one at a time, you can simply listen to a sampler and see if anything is interesting you before going further.

The images I have used are both labels that are producing goth, darkwave and ebm music. The first one is Artoffact records (ACTORS, Cevin Key's solo work, etc...) and the second is AVANT! records (Buzz Kull, Blind Seagull, etc...)

4. Touring bands and opening acts

GREAT! One of your favourite band is touring. Maybe it's a big band, a classic goth staple, or maybe it's a tinier band you already enjoy. Either way, it will probably have an opening act, maybe several depending on the dates. When I see a band I like announcing gigs, I usually check the other bands that are following them in the tour. They can be less famous or they can even be local bands sometimes. No matter if you can attend the event or not, this is a good way to stay in touch with the scene and what's being played in venues. You can also just check the scheduled dates in goth or post-punk venues, nearby or far away.

The big plus of doing this is seeing the amazing art some tour posters feature (illustraded here by Buzzkull/Kontravoid and Rue Oberkampf). If you follow bands or venues on Instagram (and other social media where bands actually post), they are seen fairly often in tour and dates announcements. You can also check tour dates on several websites like Songkick, Bandsintown, etc.... I always prefer following the bands and venues themselves, though.

5. Webzines (and other internet tools) We're going even more niche with webzines, something that will probably disappear in a couple of years but that thankfully still exist nowadays. Basically, a webzine is just like a magazine/fanzine but online. By looking up the right keywords, or even looking at webzines focused on alternative music in your area, you might find a great ressource not only to find new music but also to find gigs and events related to the subculture. I'd advise everyone to broaden their horizons when looking for webzines : as an exemple, the one i use fairly often to find gigs in my area is not only goth related. it's more of an underground culture thing which leads me to find non-goth events that I could enjoy too!

Of course, Webzines are only a little part of the iceberg. I am sure there are plenty of facebook groups, blogs, forums and newsletter that basically lead you to find the same kind of informations. On this side, you have to be ressourceful depending on where you live, what is the culture around you and also how safe it is for you to navigate in these spaces.

6. Word-to-Mouth, mutuals, etc... At last, we are lucky enough to be on a website that allows everyone to share links like Spotify, Bandcamp and so on. There are several accounts dedicated to share goth music. For exemple, there is @nugothrhythms who share modern and newer goth sounds or the more recent @gothlisteningclub which is a great way to discover and listen to goth albums you've never heard of. I won't plug my own sideblog but you know, do your research, find mutuals that actually put a bit of work into sharing music! And, of course, feel free to do the same! I hope this little tutorial can help some people to find new music. The internet is a fabulous tool to keep subcultures alive. If you put a little work into it, you'll soon discover great bands and maybe even find a few gigs to attend. Remember, stay curious, don't limit yourself and always expend your horizons with art! Feel free to add anything that can help people finding new goth or post-punk music : blogs, playlists, etc!

#here it is!! took me a while but i wanted to do a nice banner and polish everything :)#long post #gothgoth #goth #goth music #post punk #coldwave #synthpop #alternative #alternative music

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albanenechi · 2 months

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links & faq 🌞

Welcome and tysm for stopping by! 🌻🌻

You'll find all my important info condensed into this pinned post, which is all the places you can find me and some frequently asked questions 😊

✦ Ko-fi - free brushes, donations, and other downloadable goodies soon 💖

✦ VGen - commissions

✦ linktree - all my socials!

...

Do you accept requests/suggestions?

Yes! These might take a while before they pop up in my socials, but I'm always open for these c:

Do you do bases/poses commissions?

Yes I do comms too! Turnaround time is 2 days up to 2 weeks if I'm busy. Check my VGen link for more info!

How should we credit you when using your bases/pose references?

I require credit in these cases: when my bases are traced, drawn over, or used to do commissions. A tag/mention is enough 😊 If you’re using them just as pose reference there’s no need to credit me since poses are universal, but feel free to tag me if you want! I love seeing your drawings and appreciate it a lot 💖

Do you have tutorials/tips for drawing?

I've made one tutorial so far 😭 it's on my TikTok! Might do more in the future but I'm very slow, bear with me 🥹 Anyways, here's some tips I've shared before:

Doing timed figure drawing/art studies often (Line of action is a great tool for that). Don't think too much about making mistakes while studying, own it and move on; you'll start seeing the basic shapes and capture the movement of the pose more easily as you practice!

Read anatomy books, anatomy for illustrators specifically. Proportions and general shapes of the body are a foundation for everything else. Some authors and books I like: Gottfried Bammes, Michael Mattesi, Michael Hampton, morpho's books.

#alba speaks #faq

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socialinbox · 1 year

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How to Use Social Inbox to Streamline Your Social Media Marketing

Social media has become a part of our daily lives, and it has become increasingly popular as a marketing platform. With the rise of social media, businesses are relying on it to build their customer base, share content and engage with their audience. But, managing your social media presence can be a daunting task, especially when you are managing multiple platforms at once. This is where the social inbox comes in, with features like streamlining your social media marketing and boosting your productivity. In this blog, we’ll learn more about social inbox and how to use it to streamline your social media marketing.

What is Social Inbox?

Social inbox is a feature that aggregates all your social media accounts into one platform. With social inbox, all your social media accounts, including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and LinkedIn, are aggregated into one interface. Social inbox is an all-in-one platform that allows you to manage all your social media accounts from one place. With this feature, you can save time and increase productivity by scheduling posts and monitoring all your social media accounts in one place.

Benefits of Social Inbox in Streamlining Your Social Media Marketing

1. Integration of Multiple Platforms

Social inbox helps in integrating multiple platforms onto one interface, which helps in streamlining your social media marketing. With social inbox, you no longer need to log in and out of various social media platforms to post an update. Instead, you can create, schedule and post/update content across all your social media accounts from one place.

2. Prioritize Important Notifications and Conversations

Social inbox helps in prioritizing important notifications and conversations, which helps in saving time and increasing efficiency. With social inbox, you can filter messages based on their importance and can reply to them at your convenience or priority level.

3. Increase Productivity

Social inbox helps in increasing productivity, which leads to better social media results. With social inbox, you can save time by scheduling posts in advance and monitor all your social media accounts in one place. This way, you can focus on other important tasks and create more effective, targeted content for your audience.

4. Helps in Collaboration

Social inbox also aids in collaboration among teams. With social inbox, multiple team members can access, edit and schedule social media posts from one interface. This helps in team collaboration and leads to a more coordinated and streamlined approach to social media marketing.

How to Use Social Inbox to Streamline Your Social Media Marketing

1. Monitor Your Social Media Platforms

With social inbox, you can monitor your social media accounts and posts across multiple platforms in one place. This feature saves time and helps to prioritize messages from various accounts. With this information, you can decide which messages to reply to first or which ones need immediate attention.

2. Schedule Posts in Advance

One of the biggest benefits of social inbox is the ability to schedule posts in advance. Scheduling ahead of time helps in managing your time more effectively and allows you to plan your social media content in advance. With social inbox, you can schedule posts across various social media platforms and monitor them too.

3. Engage with Your Audience

Social inbox lets you engage with your audience across different platforms within a centralized platform. Engaging with your audience improves the level of user engagement, which is an essential aspect of social media marketing. With social inbox, you can prioritize the conversations you need to have with fans of your brand and ensure that you are responding to users on a timely and significant basis.

4. Create Reports

Social inbox can help you create reports and analyze your social media strategy. You can track your engagement levels, follower counts, and compare results across different platforms. With this information, you can understand what works and what doesn't work for your brand. Analyzing reports can also help you tailor your social media content to your audience's preferences and interests.

Conclusion

To sum up, social inbox makes social media marketing more efficient and saves time. With social inbox, you no longer need to log in and out of different social media platforms, which helps in prioritizing important messages, and scheduling posts in advance. Using social inbox for your social media management can increase productivity and collaboration among teams in creating and executing social media campaigns. With this feature, you can streamline your social media marketing, improve engagement levels, and achieve better social media results.

#Social Media Listening #Social Listening Tool #Free Social Media Monitoring #Social Listening Dashboard #Social Listening in Marketing #Social Media Monitoring #Free Social Listening Tools #Social Mention Free Tool #Marketing Social Listening #Free Social Media Listening #Social Media Listening Free #Free Social Listening Tool #Social Listening Tool Free #Social Media Monitoring Free #Free Social Listening Dashboard #Social Listening Dashboard Free #Free Social Listening in Marketing #Social Listening in Marketing Free

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storgicdealer · 2 months

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rolls up sleeves. today's short guys.

the short brought me SO much to think about — particularly, how the news outlets DO exist in the outernet, and how the showdown was seen from the stickcity — which does confirm that if they were around, it was impossible for vic not to see at least bits of it before.

so in this post i am . once again . compiling my thoughts into a big victim theory that tied in my Head

victim theory: the point the show went down

again. warning this is me going on a RAMBLE that is so insane that i constantly switch from one topic to another. expect insanity

in case i interpret something incorrectly in your opinion, or forget a major detail — feel completely free to add on! my memory is horrible

so. presenting the thing that the outernet and the internet are connected with each other, yet still have a barrier in-between them there is a possibility of outernet citizens not having access to it full-time. at the same time, so much stuff is digitally reliant on pc tech that i doubt outernet sticks wouldnt know about it at all

im thinking that when victim has been ‘unsaved’, one way or another — they couldve gotten into the outernet, also one way or another (this is a raw supposition that it would happen that early but). which made them separated from the pc/internet in the first place — severing them from knowing about how things really work there aside from what they learned when needed to survive, as well as knowing about the existence of other cursors.

and given the last, when showdown happened — this was their first cue to become involved in the whole hollowhead tragedy. a thing they didn't know before due to being out of the pc — which was also the point where they became obsessed with revenge.

we now DO know that the outernet has news outlets; whether they saw it on the news or themselves, this was their first step into getting revenge. (at the same time, seeing it on the news would sort of? elaborate on why rocket tech most likely also streams news n such. perhaps as some weird kind of thanks "for showing me where my torturer was" or, perhaps, wanting others to see what has been going on too/how much of a danger cursors are. it would support the freedom guy=victim theory just a tad bit if victim Did care about stick rights prior showdown)

(another point — i must mention that we now know that sticks have phones, and most likely their own in-gadget social media now — but we don't know if they have the same internet as humans do. honestly the whole reason why the theory of sticks not having full access to internet didn't crumble yet.)

going to investigate, either by themselves or having already been in rocket — they could've possibly found the tech dark owned (as well as the mega blaster that literally shoots things in the ip sky) and, importantly, dark's own portals to the internet — and perhaps, have used them, for minor things and scraps or, something bigger. like actual travel.

whether by connecting the cursor with alan or not, by the point of them getting into the internet they DEFINITELY saw what happened with them, chosen, dark. (ava 4 as well, but it is talked about later.)

and thats the point where theyd get the adobe tools = i believe they would have to go to a pc to get them, but i also am not against the possibility of them just. downloading it cracked or something. they got the tools and. if thats the point where they left the pc/internet and didnt come back (perhaps, danger of another user) it mightve been the reason they didnt know about the powers of second.

this whole thing elaborates on why they found the showdown in chosens memories first — having seen what happened, they wanted to fully understand what went down — perhaps where such power came from. it was kind of.. impossible to see sec from such distance? and there werent any news outlets seen next to the showdown site itself, which could explain why they didnt know about secs powers once again.

the thing that makes me doubt this in a way is the reason why they didn't go to alan right away, having acquired the adobe tools. but there is a thing i believe might explain that — victim saw, and realized that chosen, dark and them are peas of the same pod; that they managed to destroy alan's computer — and that they don't have such power to do the same ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(:{)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

having came back to the outernet, with the adobe tools — they might've started to enact the plan of getting revenge by gaining power that they first lacked, now especially that they had some tools to do so. them getting the instruments that outernet citizens didn't have before, perhaps didn't fully know about — they could've been seen as someone who brought something special to the outernet. they could've been a person that, aside from revenge, would want to protect sticks (it would genuinely clash with how they treated chosen, but at the same time i can believe it was their own anger of not getting what chosen "had". power and ability to get revenge on their creator.) — being seen as some sort of saviour or, at least, someone powerful — this is how they could've gotten up the career stairs of rocketcorp in the first place.

what makes me think of the box episode — this could've been the point they have acquired enough power to challenge alan, causing them to FINALLY hang up posters after 5 years (sorry it just tied in so well in my mind thats why i capitalized it. like holy shit thats the reason for posters being late as shit)

knowing about the showdown, they wouldn't put up dark as well, whether she was mia or . yknow.

what EXACTLY the power to challenge an animator, a god requires. oh this is a brainworm of mine.

knowing about the showdown#2, perhaps having investigated it itself — could bring back the theory of dark being captured by rocket and, perhaps, being in her weak state — used by victim in order to gain more power that they lacked. victim could've known about how challenging dark was to beat + how chosen and dark managed to destroy chosen's computer = a recipe to gain power to go at alan themselves.

and have finally gained enough power, whether with dark or not — they could've went for chosen, who WAS active — and difficult to beat.

finally being ready to go at alan, they went to get the only person alive that was connected to him.

i could also bring in the fact that they COULD'VE possibly tried to go at chosen for using his own powers for themselves as well — at the possibility of them being "good and powerful" in the eyes of society, being a "saviour" — capturing a well-known terrorist, moreover brainwashing citizens (a raw assumption, but perhaps even rocket) into thinking that they need to get him to get revenge on a person that murders sticks — that it is something that they were okay with doing. at the hands of their own, bitter desire for revenge.

one thing that contrasts it all, however — showdown has happened when ava4 already happened. and in case victim went to investigate their roots — it would've been impossible for them not to know about sec. but at the same time, orange used his own wit (and a small sprinkle of chosen silhouette flashing) to try and defeat noogai — and he didn't !! alan has trapped and spared him on his own !! which could've made them think it's not someone worth paying attention to, someone isn't powerful enough that they may need.

i must mention that it is possible for victim to gain the adobe tools without looking at the hollowhead's history after they were created at the time. for example, stealing the app and not opening youtube to do so, lol — but the whole existence of alan's tv makes it at the same time impossible, and at the same time — so confusing on why victim did not know about sec's powers.

im clutching my pearls . oh god this is so long

im going ins

i would APPRECIATE ALL of your input!!!

#animator vs animation #alan becker #animation vs minecraft #animation vs animator #storgesinsaneramblings #ava theory #artofstorge #dark being held in rocket amphibia marcy wu style when

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judasgot-it · 2 months

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Happy Birthday

I'm throwing almonds at him in my mind <3 Also, idgaf if it's not August 3rd, it's August 3rd somewhere in the world....

Also, this was going to be part of an arranged marriage au but I've kinda scrapped it. so this is just kinda there now lol.

It's been twenty-seven years since Kaldo was born. Today, you were planning on making him a cake he would actually enjoy, and not one he would shovel into his face in front of his family and guests as he pretended to enjoy it.

The man was born powerful and wealthy. He had everything.

What he didn't have, was the free choice over his own birthday cake.

He was almost thirty, and he never even had a choice in it. He didn't even have a choice in being engaged to you, or his job - honestly, the only thing he seemed to have a choice over might have been his strange love of honey.

Maybe you were born lucky with your low status. You had chosen to climb to the top, and got to marry a wealthy man mostly by choice.

Now you got to spoil him with a birthday cake - by your own choice.

He had once mentioned once to you before, offhandedly, that he had really loved gelatinous fish cake - of course, topped with honey. One of the stranger combinations he had made, and one cake that he had always wanted to try again, but was banned from bringing into his family home.

For good reason, you supposed. It seemed a little...gross. Honestly, it was one of the first times you had ever disliked one of his strange food tastes.

But it was a cake. And it was his birthday.

He would get to eat that damn cake. Social rules be damned.

It wasn't really easy finding a place that even made the cake. The man must have visited hell itself in order to try the delicacy, because you had only found one cook in the local area who even knew what it was.

It frankly looked disgusting when you laid eyes on it, and it looked horrible as it sat on your breakfast table. But it wasn't for you - it was for the man sitting in front of you, staring at you as if you were as strange as the cake itself.

And really, is it even a cake? There's no frosting, and it's fucking fish for god's sake. In gelatin. Who would even think of such a thing?

"Is this for me?"

Kaldo's voice was weak, his usual airy tone nearly lost in the shock that was slapped across his face. His crimson eyes were boring holes at you, and it was frankly a little disturbing.

"...Yes. You said you had liked it before, and I thought it would be nice to get it for you. I know you don't like regular cake that much."

He was a freak, really. The man would rather put his sweet honey on anything that didn't go with it. Cake would be a reasonable match, but instead, coffee and raw fish were his preferred mixups.

How strange.

"I did. I did mention that, didn't I." The man took the fork set out just for him, taking a bite of the cake as if it were a delicacy. His face was practically spread open in a wide grin, ear to ear as he slowly chewed on it.

This was the most you had ever seen him enjoy a cake. The one at his last birthday party had him in near tears from how much he had hated the flavor - chocolate, without any honey to subside the pain of putting it in his mouth.

But Kaldo was practically drooling as he dug into his sad little cake. He had taken to pouring a rich honey on it, as if it would make a difference in the texture of fish and gelatin.

"Do you," It was stupid to ask, given that he was nearly done destroying the disgusting dish. His face was smeared with honey and pieces of fish, and you only smiled back as a stupid grin spread across his face. "Do you like it? Sorry if it's not the gift you expected."

You made him walk all the way to your home for it. On his birthday as well.

Frankly, you were a rather horrible wife-to-be.

"If I were to be honest..." Kaldo put down his fork, looking down at the remaining pieces of his cake. It was more like a soup now, as his took the prongs of his tool and played with the pieces that remained.

"...I think this is the best birthday gift I've ever received."

"Is it really?"

The lily-haired man nodded, his bangs somehow spared from the mess that was spread across his face. He looked like a bear that had found a beehive, and with the smile he wore, it was obvious that he felt like a winner.

"You know? We need this at our wedding. It's a really good cake."

"What?"

This was the first time Kaldo had ever mentioned something like that. The man was rather silent about those things - as far as you knew, he had only agreed to marry you because it was a good tax write-off for the both of you.

"If you want it, sure. We'll have two cakes." You wanted to be a good wife, really.

"...Really?"

"Why not? It's your wedding too."

It was subtle, a barely noticeable detail in the character he portrayed to you. But his shoulders relaxed, his spine deflating from the stiff posture he kept at all times. His arms leaned against the table, and his neck rolled around to lean to the side.

It looked as if he truly relaxed for once in his life.

"...Yeah. Why not indeed."

I'm lowkey just writing whatever the fuck I want rn, Kaldo is just my muse rn.

#mashle x reader #mashle #kaldo x reader #kaldo gehenna x reader #happy birthday kaldo my lil pookie schmookie wish you were real </3

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moonliched · 5 months

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How do you think things might have gone if Sun was the one trapped in the net?

hmm, i know we haven't seen it in the fic yet but i actually picture Sun being more vicious than Moon when frightened or angry. however, he's also quicker to trust and calm down...

so, i think the combination of hunger, the dark, and the cold would have driven Sun to lash out immediately upon meeting Y/N. he'd hiss, thrash, throw rocks, and tear at the water the instant they made any moves, and they would keep their distance as they did with Moon. Sun would quickly realise that Y/N is helping them and that their wariness towards him is slowing them down, so he'd dial back the the aggression. he'd pantomime harmlessness, tucking his hands behind his back, making himself small, chirping at them. it wouldn't really work as the first impression would be hard to shake off, but it would make Y/N's job easier. and they would interpret the extent of Sun's intelligence faster than they did with Moon.

Sun wouldn't like the raw fish Y/N brought them, but as he rarely ventures outside his home and its readily-available supplies, he'd be more susceptible to hunger. he'd grimace and try to be grateful, gingerly nibbling it and trying not to spit. then he'd offer some to Y/N as a peace offering.

Sun routinely speaks in a mix of merspeak and ancient English, unlike Moon who favoured merspeak until he met Y/N. Sun would definitely speak to Y/N at some point, who would immediately flip their lid in excitement but be unable to respond underwater. nevertheless, Sun would grasp that they understood him and be equally as thrilled. he'd ask them a bazillion things and ultimately settle for just rambling at them or sticking to yes/no questions. after the initial excitement, Y/N would wryly decide that this friendly mermaid is a huge drain on their social battery lol

Sun would get super emotional. this alien thing with two tails didn't retaliate when he lashed out at them even though he's trapped and at their mercy! not only that, they're bringing him food (raw, but still), working to free him, and engaging while he talks to them. they even attempt to comfort him when he sadly mentions how frightened he was, how Moon must be going frantic looking for him, how the net hurts. they make muffled noises of sympathy and gently pat him with the longest tool they have.

for all their reckless actions, Y/N is pretty cautious at heart. they'd follow through on their plan to keep Sun's wrist restrained until the last second, handing him the knife and preparing to flee. Sun would realise their plan and gaze at them pleadingly, the knife sagging in his hand. he'd ask them not to run, please, he wants to be friends. it's been so long since he's met someone new, and he must repay them for rescuing him. Moon would love to meet them too!

Sun wouldn't pull the same lure-and-grab trick as Moon, but he would be intensely curious... and desperate for comforting contact. he would try to grasp Y/N's braids, examine their work tools, beckon them closer. he'd say he won't hurt them, he only wants to get a better look, please please please! originally Y/N intended to work their way towards getting closer to Moon so they could snip the worst of the netting, but him pinning them to the floor and ripping apart their bladed pole skewed that strategy. i think Y/N would drop their guard faster with Sun, even though he's clearly very grabby and a little rough. he might cut them accidentally with his claws, but ultimately he'd learn his lesson and take more care.

Sun isn't familiar with the dark waters, so i think he'd fail to grab Y/N when the rumble came. they'd be battered by rocks and injured, but not much more than they were with Moon. they would feel touched by Sun's fluttering panic over their injuries.

Y/N would hesitate, point at the knife and the net, and then beckon him to follow before swimming away.

when a newly-freed Sun surfaces, Y/N would call him from the platform at a safe distance. they'd be able to talk and introduce themselves properly, and Y/N would explain that he doesn't owe them anything because the net belongs to their team, so it's their fault he was trapped in the first place. they would apologise, and Sun would feel somewhat admiring with a healthy dose of 'wtf no that doesn't make it their fault?? are they always like this?' (yes)

i don't remember if i've mentioned this before, but Moon was trapped in the first place because a rumble came along, blasted him down some tunnels while he was exploring near the facility territory, and the lost net was also caught by the current and tangled around him. it snagged on the rocks in the cave where Y/N found him, securing him in place. so the day Y/N freed Moon and left him outside the building, he then had to find his way back home alone🥺

i don't think Sun would be so independent after a stint of being trapped and slowly starving. he'd cling to Y/N and ask them for help to find his way home, and live in the facility territory in the meantime. when they did eventually locate and escort Sun home, they would have formed a bond, with an intense crush on Sun's end. he'd be very eager to offer them hospitality and introduce them to his Moon, oh he's going to love them! a lot :)

they would then be met by a very frantic and disheveled Moon, who is only holding off on grieving Sun because he can't bear to think that he's gone. i think he would be quick to blame Y/N for Sun's absence, and would direct a lot of territorial aggression their way even while he's checking Sun over and clutching him close. but dw, that would be short-lived as Sun explains how Y/N saved him and provided food and shelter until they could escort him home. Moon would still be suspicious for sure, but Y/N's fidgeting excitement to explore the warm environment and open guilt over Sun being trapped would quickly overpower that. and soon he'd get to know them better and grow closer just like Sun is doing now🥰

tadaa! no one dies in this scenario😅

#ask #There Are Many Benefits

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sempermoi · 23 hours

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Rant about generative AI in education and in general under the cut because I'm worried and frustrated and I needed to write it out in a small essay:

So, context: I am a teacher in Belgium, Flanders. I am now teaching English (as a second language), but have also taught history and Dutch (as a native language). All in secondary education, ages 12-16.

More and more I see educational experts endorse ai being used in education and of course the most used tools are the free, generative ones. Today, one of the colleagues responsible for the IT of my school went to an educational lecture where they once again vouched for the use of ai.

Now their keyword is that it should always be used in a responsible manner, but the issue is... can it be?

1. Environmentally speaking, ai has been a nightmare. Not only does it have an alarming impact on emission levels, but also on the toxic waste that's left behind. Not to mention the scarcity of GPUs caused by the surge of ai in the past few years. Even sources that would vouch for ai have raised concerns about the impact it has on our collective health. sources: here, here and here

2. Then there's the issue with what the tools are trained on and this in multiple ways:

Many of the free tools that the public uses is trained on content available across the internet. However, it is at this point common knowledge (I'd hope) that most creators of the original content (writers, artists, other creative content creators, researchers, etc.) were never asked for permission and so it has all been stolen. Many social media platforms will often allow ai training on them without explicitly telling the user-base or will push it as the default setting and make it difficult for their user-base to opt out. Deviantart, for example, lost much of its reputation when it implemented such a policy. It had to backtrack in 2022 afterwards because of the overwhelming backlash. The problem is then that since the content has been ripped from their context and no longer made by a human, many governments therefore can no longer see it as copyrighted. Which, yes, luckily also means that ai users are legally often not allowed to pass off ai as 'their own creation'. Sources: here, here

Then there's the working of generative ai in general. As said before, it simply rips words or image parts from their original, nuanced context and then mesh it together without the user being able to accurately trace back where the info is coming from. A tool like ChatGPT is not a search engine, yet many people use it that way without realising it is not the same thing at all. More on the working of generative ai in detail. Because of how it works, it means there is always a chance for things to be biased and/or inaccurate. If a tool has been trained on social media sources (which ChatGPT for example is) then its responses can easily be skewed to the demographic it's been observing. Bias is an issue is most sources when doing research, but if you have the original source you also have the context of the source. Ai makes it that the original context is no longer clear to the user and so bias can be overlooked and go unnoticed much easier. Source: here

3. Something my colleague mentioned they said in the lecture is that ai tools can be used to help the learning of the students.

Let me start off by saying that I can understand why there is an appeal to ai when you do not know much about the issues I have already mentioned. I am very aware it is probably too late to fully stop the wave of ai tools being published.

There are certain uses to types of ai that can indeed help with accessibility. Such as text-to-voice or the other way around for people with disabilities (let's hope the voice was ethically begotten).

But many of the other uses mentioned in the lecture I have concerns with. They are to do with recognising learning, studying and wellbeing patterns of students. Not only do I not think it is really possible to data-fy the complexity of each and every single student you would have as they are still actively developing as a young person, this also poses privacy risks in case the data is ever compromised. Not to mention that ai is often still faulty and, as it is not a person, will often still make mistakes when faced with how unpredictable a human brain can be. We do not all follow predictable patterns.

The lecture stated that ai tools could help with neurodivergency 'issues'. Obviously I do not speak for others and this next part is purely personal opinion, but I do think it important to nuance this: as someone with auDHD, no ai-tool has been able to help me with my executive dysfunction in the long-term. At first, there is the novelty of the app or tool and I am very motivated. They are often in the form of over-elaborate to-do lists with scheduled alarms. And then the issue arises: the ai tries to train itself on my presented routine... except I don't have one. There is no routine to train itself on, because that is my very problem I am struggling with. Very quickly it always becomes clear that the ai doesn't understand this the way a human mind would. A professionally trained in psychology/therapy human mind. And all I was ever left with was the feeling of even more frustration.

In my opinion, what would help way more than any ai tool would be the funding of mental health care and making it that going to a therapist or psychiatrist or coach is covered by health care the way I only have to pay 5 euros to my doctor while my health care provider pays the rest. (In Belgium) This would make mental health care much more accessible and would have a greater impact than faulty ai tools.

4. It was also said that ai could help students with creative assignments and preparing for spoken interactions both in their native language as well as in the learning of a new one.

I wholeheartedly disagree. Creativity in its essence is about the person creating something from their own mind and putting the effort in to translate those ideas into their medium of choice. Stick figures on lined course paper are more creative than letting a tool like Midjourney generate an image based on stolen content. How are we teaching students to be creative when we allow them to not put a thought in what they want to say and let an ai do it for them?

And since many of these tools are also faulty and biased in their content, how could they accurately replace conversations with real people? Ai cannot fully understand the complexities of language and all the nuances of the contexts around it. Body language, word choice, tone, volume, regional differences, etc.

And as a language teacher, I can truly say there is nothing more frustrating than wanting to assess the writing level of my students, giving them a writing assignment where they need to express their opinion and write it in two tiny paragraphs... and getting an ai response back. Before anyone comes to me saying that my students may simply be very good at English. Indeed, but my current students are not. They are precious, but their English skills are very flawed. It is very easy to see when they wrote it or ChatGPT. It is not only frustrating to not being able to trust part of your students' honesty and knowing they learned nothing from the assignment cause you can't give any feedback; it is almost offensive that they think I wouldn't notice it.

5. Apparently, it was mentioned in the lecture that in schools where ai is banned currently, students are fearful that their jobs would be taken away by ai and that in schools where ai was allowed that students had much more positive interactions with technology.

First off, I was not able to see the source and data that this statement was based on. However, I personally cannot shake the feeling there's a data bias in there. Of course students will feel more positively towards ai if they're not told about all the concerns around it.

Secondly, the fact that in the lecture it was (reportedly) framed that being scared your job would disappear because of ai, was untrue is... infuriating. Because it already is becoming a reality. Let's not forget what partially caused the SAG-AFTRA strike in 2023. Corporations see an easy (read: cheap) way to get marketable content by using ai at the cost of the creative professionals. Unregulated ai use by businesses causing the loss of jobs for real-life humans, is very much a threat. Dismissing this is basically lying to young students.

6. My conclusion:

I am frustrated. It's clamoured that we, as teachers, should educate more about ai and it's responsible use. However, at the same time the many concerns and issues around most of the accessible ai tools are swept under the rug and not actively talked about.

I find the constant surging rise of generative ai everywhere very concerning and I can only hope that more people will start seeing it too.

Thank you for reading.

#generative ai critical #ai critical #ai in education #the artist talks

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