#some of iroh’s actions remind me too much of my moms and it makes me uncomfortable

[pastabrand]

Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about how fragmented Zuko and Azula are because of their family. With all the constant abuse for literally all their lives, I’m not surprised they turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms (Zuko with anger to hide any perceptions of ‘weakness’ and Azula perfectionism to an extreme degree). They were raised to believe that love was conditional, something to be earned through a rigid set of rules and expectations rather than something they should always have no matter what. How often did Zuko work himself past exhaustion to achieve even a scrap of Ozai’s affection? How much did Azula unintentionally harm herself to stay in his good graces? This can extend to people like Mai/Ty Lee and Iroh. Did Azula ever obsess over her actions to ensure Mai and Ty Lee would still like her before adapting to fear tactics instead? Did Zuko ever hide in the ship to prevent Iroh from seeing him do something that Ozai would’ve punished him for? And most importantly, do they ever learn to overcome this? I know the show has Zuko on the path to recovery, but does he ever actually recover? Does he ever understand, in its entirety, that he has Iroh’s unconditional love? Or, an even better question, does Iroh actually give Zuko unconditional love? Who’s to say that Iroh wouldn’t try to move to someone like Azula should he see that Zuko is inadequate to rule the Fire Nation. Iroh was raised in the same family and same standards after all. There’s nothing to indicate that he’s any different since Zuko’s never had competition for Iroh’s favor.

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

[forgotten-daydreamer]

"The Last Airbender" honest commentary by me

-> I remember I watched this once, when I was something like 12, and I think my mind FORCED me to forget about it, and now that I'm 20 I feel the urge to watch it again. I saw clips on YouTube so it's not like I know nothing at all, but very very little. I'm honestly scared. I'll point out the things that I like too, if I find something like it. So... bring it on.

---

What is that gibberish in the background even supposed to mean? As someone who studies Japanese I am deeply disappointed. "But A:TLA's words are in Chinese!!" yes. But, for those who don't know, Japanese imported them as kanji so I can recognize them even if I don't speak Chinese, for these characters are written in the same way, even if pronounced differently. Or, well, I could recognize them if this gibberish meant anything. But it doesn't.

Not a fan of the prologue written onscreen as Katara reads it aloud (I suppose it's her?) to be honest. Especially when it's in... English. At this point why not changing that ugly gibberish into the English translation of the words? It would've made more sense, even if it doesn't.

Katara and Sokka sure are very... huh... White. Watching the racism and whitewashing jump out is too painful. Damn, I'm already upset with this movie and I'm only 2:35 minutes in.

A:TLA Sokka would never raise a finger on his sister- never in a million years. This dude straight up grabbed her arm! Not. Cool. Dude.

"I thought about Mom, isn't that strange..?" no Katara, it really isn't. She's your dead mother, it's not strange to think about her. That sentence just seems forced, it's got nothing to do with what's happening.

Okay, Sokka following his father's teachings is actually accurate, nice one.

I take it back. Sokka, what the actual fuck- why would you break the ice right under your feet?? A:TLA Hakoda would be very disappointed.

Oh, look, Aang's white too. How surprising.

Katara, the kid just woke up from a coma, stop asking him a thousand questions, cut Aang some slack!

Acting skills sooo not on point. Maybe the actors are actually good, and maybe it's just the dialogues that are... off. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and see how it goes.

I apprecciate the effort of trying to make Aang's tattoos look "cool" but next time, please don't.

This camera work is giving me a headache. The angles keep changing rapidly with no reason, and sometimes the camera's too close to the actors... Who did this?

Are Katara and Sokka the only white people in their village? I'm... confused.

"I am Prince Zuko." uh???? Where's your scar? Come on, that is literally one of the main points around which his story revolves, you can't just not put it there. I'm so upset.

Oh... that's the scar? Dude, I have a worse scar on my knee, I'm not even joking.

Of course Katara and Sokka's grandma is white, makes sense. So there's three white people in this village while everyone else is Asian, from what I saw. So it's okay to cast Asians as extras but not as the main characters? Holy shit, this movie is so problematic already.

Zuko, for fuck's sake, stop yelling. Aang's right in front of you, you two are, like, three inches apart. Stop screaming!

Firebenders need firepits to draw fire from..? Just bring a flamethrower with you next time, it'd be more efficient than your attacks anyway...

I'm not even 11min in and I want to stop already. I can't endure another 1:30h of this. I'm not strong enough.

"[Our mom] would have fought!" she didn't, that's the whole point. She surrendered to protect you, Katara, and the others. I get that the producers changed the story a little, it's normal, but- you can't change these things.

These dialogues... I want to rip my ears off. So little logic, so little pathos, such a poor timing- I want to cry.

Okay, this Iroh seems pretty similar to A:TLA's, thank goodness they didn't mess him up too much.

That is NOT how you pronounce Iroh!! I was a fool to think that there was one character that hadn't been completely ruined in this movie.

Nice nod to Hama, not bad.

Grandma casually has a map next to her when she needs it... Okay, I guess.

The scene on the ship- I'm speechless. Negatively speechless. I want to wash my eyes with bleach.

I love how Zuko just watches Aang fly away, like- "oh, there he goes". A:TLA Zuko would've jumped into the freezing ocean and swam toward him if he had to.

I can't get over their pronunciation of Aang. Ahng? Ohng? What is the reason behind this- why did they change it? He's literally the main character, you just don't do that.

With all due respect, the CGI is bad. I get that this movie is kinda old, but... No. There are older movies with better special effects. Low budget, maybe? I don't know.

"Souuka and I-" it's Sokka. Not Souuka. Sokka.

Zhao is hateful and annoying, which is accurate. I miss the ugly sideburns though.

Iroh calmly sipping tea while Zuko kicks ass- spot on, I can't deny that.

I hate Sokka so much. He's completely out of character, too annoying, uncharacteristically angsty and so boring. How can someone completely mess up a cool character like him?

"There is earth right beneath your feet"... oh my God, for real? Wow, how did they not notice that sooner...

"It's time for you to stop doing this!" reminds me of that one vine with the kid that yells "whEn wiLL yOu LeArN tHAt yoUR aCTioNs hAve ConSeqUEnceS!?", I don't know why.

Katara pushes a Firebender. She pushes him. He could burn her to a crisp and she- okay, you know what, I'm just going to ignore it.

Again with the firepits, I can't even-

It takes six Earthbenders to lift the rock the size of a chair..? And they also have to make a little dance to do that..?

The extras in the background don't even move- guys, at least pretend to dodge or be afraid, or cower backwards, don't just observe while you stand still looking as if you were glancing at the horizon.

Literally everyone in this movie is portrayed by Asian and Middle Eastern actors except for the main characters... Who allowed this, who said that this was okay? Seriously, who. Please, fire this person.

If Aang can't bend the other elements, what was that on Zuko's ship? Were the fire, the rock and the water acting up because Aang was there? It makes no sense.

"Avatars can't have a family." are you sure? 'Cause Roku did, even Wan (and Korra, after Aang) in a way, and many other Avatars too, I'm sure. That's not why he ran away, not at all.

Again with the fake Chinese characters... I mean, I think they were trying to imitate Chinese cursive writing, but... The lines are so straight, so stiff, so clean- there is no way that authentic cursive looks like that. Have you ever seen Japanese cursive? The characters are unrecognizable, but the lines are fluid and curved, not like that.

The scene with Katara and Aang practicing by the river confuses me because- I don't see any water being bent. Is it just me? I'm serious, maybe I just didn't see it..?

Ozai asking about Zuko and acting mildly concerned and almost caring is off-character. It makes it look like he feels guilty, when A:TLA Ozai does not. Also, let's say that this Ozai feels guilty, why doesn't he just welcome his son back, then? But he doesn't, 'cause he indirectly says so, so it makes no sense.

More gibberish. Please, stop. Don't do that again. I beg you.

"-sentenced to Agni KEE." goddamn it. Agni KAI. Not KEE. KAI! Why is that so hard for these people to say things right?

I still don't see any Waterbending. Are they just moving randomly? Are the practicing without actually bending the water..?

Oh, alright, now there's water moving, that's better. Still, so many movements for a little stream of water being lifted in the air- almost like that dance the Earthbenders did earlier. Seems excessive.

Is that monstrosity supposed to be Appa? Why is his face so- human? Oh Spirits, forgive them!

Again with this "I can have no family." thing- did the producers even watch the whole show or just read the summary of Wikipedia?

You know what, the Blue Spirit mask is accurate, in a way. Old masks used to have wigs attached sometimes, so it's not as bad as it seems. His stance though- that's a big no.

Zuko's swords don't actually hit anything most of the times he swings them around- just saying.

"What is this?". Ugh, Zhao, Aang's an AIRbender. Get it? AIR. So he is moving the AIR. I mean, you know he's an airbender, why are you acting surprised that he can redirect the wind?

Yue's white too... I checked online, and I discovered that the actress has Mexican origins: this has nothing to do with Asia and the Middle East so I personally consider this as a desperate attempt to include diversity- as if there were no actual Asian and Middle Eastern actors out there, but fine, I guess. What was I expecting at this point? Oh, I also know that this actress is Asami's V.A. which doesn't change much but since I like Asami I'll pretend to like this Yue too, a bit.

Extra™ moves to create a 10ft tall tornado... Okay, Aang, you're the boss.

Pakku is white too, hm? I don't know what to say anymore. Should I just stop pointing out this cast is so, so wrong? Probably. Will I? No.

Sokka's face when Yue tells him her hair's white because she was stillborn- that is the only realistic face he's done so far. Also, Yue's acting is not that off, and I actually like it! She's better than others.

More waterbending without water. Budget cuts.

I take that back, Yue is basically smiling when Sokka tells her that the Fire Nation is there, like, come on! Yue, I believed in you...

The dialogues are so fake, nobody talks like that! I'm sure that this is among the reasons why the actors seem incapable of doing their job- I'm sorry for these people, maybe the poor performance is not entirely their fault.

I'm trying to figure out what's up with Zuko's hair, and I'm not talking about the fact that it doesn't grow where the scar is, that's normal. What bothers me are those spikes he has on the front and on the back- or whatever they are. I am confused. Better than ponytail!Zuko, worse than all the other haircuts he had in A:TLA.

Zuko's actor is the best one in this movie so far, in my opinion. He's believable. He yelled a lot in the beginning, but now (1:12h in) he's not that odd.

How to understand when a scene has been not thought through: when characters don't do something that normal people would do. Zuko throws fire at Aang when he tries to escape, and then he just stands less than ten feet apart as Aang hides- he watches him, he stands there like "okay, I can't attack you now because the script says I'm not supposed to". Then do not include him in the shot! Or, at least make him say something- no, he just stands there and watches as his enemy is literally three seconds away from him. He could reach him with a little leap, without even running!

They showed Azula for a split second in the Agni Kai scene and then Zuko mentioned her once. Is that all? I hope to see her more, even a little something. Not including her would be a huge waste.

I don't ever want to see Appa again. So ugly he's scary. Who is the person that created the CGI for our amazing flying bison that we fell in love with? This isn't Appa, it's... Something else, something terrible.

The scene where Yue passes out when Zhao kills the Spirit- the secondhand embarrassment is real there. I had to look away, it's so bad.

This Zhao is maybe the most out of character person in this movie, and it's hard to beat Aang and Sokka so that sure is something...

If they say "Souuka" one more time I'll cry. I'm serious. I'll do it.

Alright, alright, the scene where Aang saves the day is pretty cool, I liked it, despite the questionable CGI.

Why do Katara and Sokka keep Aang upright by gripping his upper arms so tightly? That hurts! There are different ways to do that, less painful and more efficient.

Ozai looks like he has no idea of what he's talking about, he looks like me when I read maths.

There she is, Azula!! Wait- are we seeing her again?

...okay, we're not.

---

What can I say... Disastrous. No cabbage man, literally only five seconds of Azula, everyone is out of character, bad casting, bad pronunciation, gibberish wannabe Chinese characters, odd CGI... Everything is wrong.

[cultho]

Dororo Epilogue/Post-ending Standalone episode

*WARNING: SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD!!*

So I watched the ending and I had a lot of feelings about it, and I came up with a few ideas for a standalone post-episode to explore some concepts I would like to see from the show. Fyi, the pronouns I use for Dororo vary by situation, with a preference for he/him (my headcanon is Dororo is pretty genderfluid!).

About a year after Hyakkimaru went to find himself, aka end of the series (but before the timeskip where Dororo’s hair is long), the episode opens with opens with Hyakkimaru, feeling more at peace with himself, returning to the village Dororo was developing via dad's Harry Potter level of inheritance.

Dororo, who now basically rules this village despite being a literal 9 year old, hears word from his fellow villagers that a wandering stranger with a sword was spotted helping one of the rice farmers because their horse got caught in a ditch (or anything else of that nature). Of course, Dororo immediately comes running, and barrels straight into Hyakkimaru for the sibling reunion hug we deserve.

Then Dororo punches Hyakki on the arm and gives him a hard time for leaving for a whole year without even a ‘goodbye,’ asks 'So what made you decide to come back after a whole year, huh, punk?’

In response, Hyakki pulls out a small, worn, pouch and Dororo says 'woah - Mio’s rice seeds? I thought you would’ve planted them by now already.’

With a little smile, Hyakki goes 'I thought about doing that, but then I remembered you were close with her too, so you have as much of a right to these seeds… so I decided to wait until we could plant them together.’ 

The rest follows as one expects it to -  Dororo teases him for becoming an even bigger softie, and they set off back to the village to grab some farm tools who Hyakki the place, as the camera pans up until the brilliant blue sky fills the frame. That chapter of their lives ends the same way it began, with Hyakkimaru and Dororo - the latter chatting up a storm while the former quietly appreciates - side by side, wandering where they must. 

Then the camera pans back down, and where before there was bare paddy, the field is now golden and thriving (same as it was in the show's ending). After a half decade timeskip, Dororo is 15-16 to Hyakki’s 21-22, and the rest of the episode follows them dealing with a demon terrorizing their village, who turns out to be Daigo’s butthurt evil spirit. I don’t have a specific plot, but here are concepts that I’d love to see explored.

First, Grown up badass Dororo running her town, being like her own Alexander Hamilton, except not only does this Alexander Hamilton know finances, how to run a sovereign state, how to outsmart any opponent, rouse even the most downtrodden souls to action with just a few words, she also kicks major butt from training with her big bro. Shoutout to that one post that inspired the idea that her dad's Big Boy genes kicked in during puberty so she’s actually like... as tall as Hyakki. Maybe even an inch taller. She says to anyone who asks that her bro can 'die mad about it’ but they both know that he’s just happy she grew up big and strong. 

She totally runs the town and everyone adores/massively respects her; her city takes in the refugees, the poor, the women and children, the diseased, etc, because, in her words, screw samurai and screw their wars. They absorbed Daigo’a old land after offering food, shelter, and jobs to the survivors, thus their town became a pretty respectably sized settlement.

Now, the key to all this - since they don't want to rely on samurai for their power - is the money, right? So Dororo’s power is her knowledge of the treasures secret location (and all the other badass things about her, but I digress). Imagine at some point a small gang of newer villaghers got the bright idea to try and stalk her during one of her mysterious night trips out (she calls them a way to satisfy her wanderlust, but they’re a cover for her sailing to the treasure's location to grab some cash), and they only get as far as spying her enter the docks before their plan goes to heck when they get accosted by Dororo's more loyal villagers who saw them sneaking. ‘Oh sh*t,’ they’re thinking, Dororo sauntering over to them, ‘Oh sh*t, shes got a big sword, oh man oh sh*t this is the end for me - '

But Dororo’s been there before, at the end of her rope and desperate for any edge to survive, she understands how these guys think, and if there’s one thing she’s stubborn to death about it’s that she does NOT run her town like the samurai. Instead, she talks them out of their misdoing and helps them find an honest living, Tales of Ba Sing Se Uncle Iroh style, (except with more volume and verbal threats).

Another concept with Dororo is when Dororo dresses to look like a guy when he and Hyakki take a couple horses and venture into a nearby city (for whatever plot reason), similar to how he did when he was a lot younger.

It’s not fully a secret, but only the older residents of her city know about Dororo’s 'crossdressing' habit, and are accepting of it.

Dororo mentions that while he’s in no way ashamed of presenting female, it often feels more freeing to present male, especially when they're out adventuring - less questions and stares from strangers, etc. Dororo also just likes presenting as male! This way, he identifies with both genders at different times. (It goes without saying Hyakki does his best to use the right pronouns, he never had a strict concept of gender - re: Jukai is the best mom, so it never struck him as odd.)

As for the actual villain of the episode, when she first hears of the Jerk Dad Demon attacking the farms on the outskirts of the village, she only thinks ‘it's just another demon, time to gather the crew and kill this thing-’

It doesn’t go so easily, as the demon’s exceptional strength proves to draw out the confrontation, and it even ends up escaping the first time.

The first to figure it out was Hyakki - he’s most familiar with Daigo’s wrath and the foul creature reeks of the old man. However, everything happened so fast and he sort of… neglected to inform Dororo. When she does find out, they have a short confrontation about it in classic Bickering Siblings Style. It’s understandable that she’s slightly miffed the demonic incarnation of his own awful dad, yes that one, is who they’re fighting and he didn’t bother letting her know.

Hyakki, who, even after a decade of having his voice back, isn't that great at communication/vocalizing his more complex thoughts and working through conflicts with words and thus often comes off as awkward or silently stoic: 'You were busy... and I thought you figured by yourself already?’

Things escalate when the other villagers overhear, and they almost start a riot; angry shouts accusing him of being the reason the demon attacks their settlement from the all the tired men and women, haggard from fending off attacks of not only the demon but also rival bandits and clans who want to take advantage of the city’s time of hardship. Of course, Dororo gets everyone back in lineright before the crowd got to deciding to sacrifice Hyakkimaru, reminding them to focus on the real enemy instead of turning on eachother - but the situation was incredibly bleak. With everyone on edge partially, it was easy to use Hyakki as a scapegoat due to his pacifist tendencies and his stoic nature coming across as almost cowardice.

He taught Dororo how to fight and that's pretty much all the fighting he's done since he came back to plant Mio’s rice, he’s reluctant to pick up the blade again. But the moment a demon shows up he runs off on his own, risking life and limb to confront it head on. Combined with his character’s less than stellar communication skills, it frustrates Dororo in the 'he leaves for a year and doesnt even text me when he's going’ kinda way’ - she's frustrated when he continually refuses to understand that they're family, and at the end of they day theyre kind of all the other has left. So he needs to get it together better and tell her when he’s about to go off and do reckless nonsense. His behavior also presents an interesting dichotomy as Hyakki also struggles with trying to be emotionally detached (lose worldly desires, etc.) and pacifist in the face of attacks from both demon and humans, so he needs to reconcile fighting with the others against attacking clans and risking a redescent into the demon like madness of his teenage years or standing by non violent means of supporting his comrades while facing expectations that he should do more. He wants to atone for his past sins badly and help those who are still living best he can - but how? 

(And also make friends other than literally just Dororo.)

Dororo's arc is about her struggles to do the right thing as a leader - it is a lot, to run a whole city. Recent events have caused more deaths amidst her city than ever before, and moral questions about what to do with captured enemy survivors feed doubt into her mind if one day she’ll turn out as bad as the samurai, and how to continue on after having led people in battles that resulted in their deaths.

P.s. I also entertained the idea of Hyakki’s journey to find himself taking much longer, and so the first time Dororo sees him again ever since he got his eyes back is when she's 20, there's rain pouring from the dark sky as her men are carrying lamps around, accounting for the dead and defeated in a latest skirmish with a small rival band that was trying to access her city the non-peaceful way.

At first her men bring her hyakkimaru, thinking he was with the enemy (he happened to be in the wrong place, wrong time. He simply heard of a group heading to a big place that sounded an awful lot like somewhere he would find Dororo - and followed them).

And from the business end of her sword he's on his knees looking up when she goes 'nah. I know him. This bastard's got hell to answer for, but he's not our enemy.’

Events are more or less the same from there, but filled with way more tension and drama here since Hyakki basically dropped off the face of the earth for 10 ish years and Do’s mad about that because, again, he didn't even say 'bye'. So much has changed, but what hasn't changed is Dororo’s anikki's inability to grasp that if one day he went off without telling her and then died, she would have literally no idea where/when/how that was, she would never know if he was alive or dead, and the idea of living in that limbo would terrify anyone. The story being about them learning to come together again, only at the end do they plant Mio’s rice field together.

I ended up trying to flesh the first idea out more because Do & Hyakki’s relationship is all about the things that don't need to be said; that these two will always be there for the other without needing to be asked. The backbone of their relationship was built up as one that didn’t need explicit affirmation because it was already so ingrained to their characters it would be a disservice to them and a waste of time to contrive an entire plot trying to create unnecessary drama between them.

But then again... drama = satisfying character growth, so perhaps it could go either way! Let me know what you think! 

Thank you for reading all this way :) I also posted second part to this of other thoughts I had while pondering why I felt the need to write a standalone epilogue.

Bonus: these gems I had in the rough draft that unfortunately had to get cut:

“But it’s harder to kill bc jerk dad demon is a jerk”

“Dororo's like 'u mean to tell me ur punk bitch biological male progenitor's demonized soul is attacking our fields??? “

“they take down the big bad dad dude daigo”

“Dororo: - pshffyeahh, ur pissy pissfaced pissbaby dad”

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Zuko 🔥

I was on a bit of a roller coaster ride with Zuko. At first I really hated him, even after his redemption. Basically it was the height of the Azula vs Zuko fandoms back in like 2008 where everyone was either an Azula stan or a Zuko stan and a hardcore anti of the other. Obviously I was a hardcore Azula stan/Zuko anti. After that died down and The Search came out I started to appreciate his character more.The thing that kind of kickstarted that was the scene where he was holding her over the ledge of a cliff. At that point in time I was so used to my favorite characters dying that I was like, ‘he gonna push this bitch off of a cliff lmao 😥’ And then he didn’t and so I was like, ‘wow I don’t hate this man anymore.’

Overall, back in the day I used to form my opinions on characters based on what my favorite thought of them. And since I liked villains I pretty much hate every character lmao. I grew out of that though.

After that scene in The Search I came to conclude that Zuko is a well-written character. He’s done some messed up shit, like burning Kyoshi Island and what have you. But he got his shit together and he reminds me of Regina in a way. Both being abuse victims who became the abuser and then realized that that’s not what they wanted to be. He’s a complex character and though he makes mistakes I feel like he does his best.

There are only two or three things I fault him on. The first would be his treatment of Azula; like blaming her for everything that went wrong in his life–I feel like sometimes Zuko doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions–which is another thing I fault him on. I feel like he had blamed Iroh for his suffering too at one point instead of owning that it might have been his own doing. He tends to deflect things.

I don’t care for how he locked Azula up and (as far as we know) hadn’t visited her until he needed her for something. I get that he owes her exactly nothing, but if he wanted to take that route than he probably shouldn’t have come to visit her at all. By the end of it they literally just used each other; Zuko for his mom and Azula for her freedom.

That said, Zuko is only human so it equally bothers me when people try to demonize him in the same way some people try to demonize Azula. Like he has gone through a lot and of course he has character flaws. Every good character does.

His awkward 'bad at being good’ thing is funny too.

All in all, I like Zuko and hope that the writers wrap up his arc in a fitting manner.

[kdinthecity]

Confessions of a Teenage Sugar Queen: In Other News

This is for @zutaraweek​ Day Five: Modern Times

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

Zuko and I fall into a comfortable pattern of casual conversation in the car, a productive partnership at work, and the occasional night “out” at Mushi’s. He puts on an unconvincing act like his uncle annoys him, but I can tell they are close. Whatever Zuko doesn’t say out loud, I can easily read on his face. Details behind those expressions are lacking, of course.

Certain topics are off limits—like what happened with his father or that night in Iroh’s apartment. I let down my guard in sharing about my mom, but I’m putting it back up until it’s clear what direction we’re headed with all this. It's easy to talk to Zuko, but trusting him is a different matter entirely.

The first warning comes from Yue. She reassigns Hahn to the education position, and I assume it's because she is tired of his constant flirting. But then she starts spending more time in her office, making hushed phone calls behind closed doors. I imagine some intriguing behind-the-scenes action—like they’ve discovered the elusive tiger-seal (a creature from my stories) and finally receive the national attention they deserve for their hard work.

I often use fiction to escape my reality. Why do I feel this sudden urge to write?

I panic when Yue calls me into her office. She’s caught me daydreaming again. Or she’s seen me staring at Zuko’s ass. She’ll reprimand me for being so distracted all the time and probably reassign me, too. I prepare a report about some unusual findings Zuko and I discovered in one of the plankton samples as proof we work well together. I’m ready with my notes and everything.

“Katara, how are things going with Zuko?” she asks.

��F-f-fine, I guess. Er—great.” I didn’t expect that question, exactly.

She eyes the papers in my hands, the ones I'm flipping through nervously. “You… guess?“

“We’re good partners.” Ugh, I hate that I’m blushing right now. “In the lab, I mean. We get a lot done.”

Yue nods slowly in the way that grownups usually do when they have something they don’t want to say. “That’s good. So… you don’t feel… threatened… in any way?”

Blindsided again. What the hell does she mean by that?

I try to pick up my jaw and answer quickly. I don’t want my silence to raise any suspicions. “Threatened by Zuko? No, not at all.”

“Have you received threats from anyone else?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.”

“I don’t mean to scare you, Katara, but some threats have been made around here recently. If you ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable, will you please let me know as soon as possible?”

“Of course.”

“And… be careful. Zuko’s situation is… complicated.”

When I piece this conversation together with what I overheard between Zuko and Yue that one day, my best guess is that Mr. Kasai gives a lot of money to the Marine Center. And when things don’t go his way, he may use his power to pressure them. If Zuko’s face is any indicator, then I have no doubt his father would make threats… and follow through with them.

But what does this have to do with me?

My second clue arrives through a series of messages from Azula. She says I should stop seeing her brother, that their father disapproves, that if Zuko stays with me, then he will pay…

First of all, we are not together!

Wait. Am I the reason he…

I was with him that night.

Oh shit.

I have to know for sure.

Except Zuko is acting… weird. He’s more relaxed and happier than I’ve ever seen him. There may even be a hint at a sense of humor trying to break through his surly outer shell. Iroh has noticed the change, too, and calls it a “metamorphosis.” Zuko says he resents being compared to a butterfly and tells his uncle to “bug off.”

Did I say sense of humor? More like lame attempts at making jokes.

I laugh anyway. He lights up when I do. Like a... firefly?

Damn, he’s gorgeous.

There is no way in hell I’m bringing up that stuff about his father now.

Iroh invites Gran Gran and me to a July Fourth barbecue on the beach. Normally Dad and Sokka would come home for the holiday, but those storms swept northward and disrupted their travel plans. As consolation, I’ve been promised a HUGE party to celebrate my 16th birthday in August. To be honest, I’d be OK with a small family gathering. And Zuko. Maybe Mushi, too.

Speaking of, that man loves parties.

While Ozai practically owns half of the bayside resort property on Ember Island, his brother opted for a vacation home and a strip of private beach along the Pacific coast instead. This area is much better for surfing, but no one brought any gear today. Gran Gran enjoys chatting with Iroh’s friends, Jeong Jeong, Bumi, and Piandao. There are a few people I recognize from the restaurant—an employee or two, and a repeat customer I often see there. A young girl, maybe four or five years old, flits about the adults vying for attention. Coincidentally, she's wearing a pair of costume butterfly wings.

I survey the perfect waves and lament not having a surfboard.

“You just want an excuse to get me in a wet suit,” Zuko says.

“Was that… another joke?”

“You know me, Katara. I don’t joke.”

His face is passive, but golden eyes flash with bridled laughter. There is only one thing I can do to unleash it.

Tickle him.

“Nephew, why don’t you show Katara the tide pools?”

At first I think Iroh makes the suggestion because he disapproves of our touchy-feely ticklefest which involves tackling each other and rolling around in the sand. But after the short hike to the tide pools, I wonder if he was actually encouraging us. We are now enclosed in a small private cove.

Zuko laughs. “Uncle knows that low tide was hours ago.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, you can’t really see anything right now. If he intended for me to show you the marine life and all, then…”

We both know it was a setup, but I’m the first to make a move. I lace my fingers with his and wait to release the breath I’m holding. He does that shuddery sigh thing, like he’s relieved. And then he squeezes my hand.

“Could you tell me about it at least?” I lean into his shoulder and decide to breathe again.

“Uhh—“ He swallows. “Organisms that survive here must be able to withstand harsh conditions. The environment is constantly changing with the tides, but a unique biodiverse ecosystem has adapted to thrive.”

He gets a poke in the ribs for that. “Thank you, Wikipedia.”

He grabs my other hand to ward off the attack—or maybe to pull me closer. “I had the education position at the Marine Center, remember?”

I’m facing him now, and a heat rises between us. I’m feeling bold enough to close the gap and trap it. I’m already enslaved by the intensity of his gaze.

“Yes sir, Professor Kasai.”

He freezes.

He only steps a few feet away, but he’s as distant as the offshore waves. He’s watching them, too, but without really seeing them. There is something with him and the water—while I feel connected to it, he’s haunted by it.

“My mom loved the ocean,” he says suddenly.

The space he left behind is now cold—empty. It takes me a while to recover, to respond. “That’s something we have in common."

At this, Zuko smiles. “She would like you.”

Some warmth returns, but I'm still uncertain. “Oh. I meant… my mom loved the ocean, too.”

“Ocean secret, vast and blue

Ebbs and flows, beneath the moon,

Rise and fall, crashing blue spirit

Whispers on waves, can you hear it?”

“That’s… beautiful,” I say.

“She wrote poetry… about a lot of things, but her favorite was the sea.”

My heart is racing again, but for a different reason this time. “That’s something else we have in common.”

“What’s that?”

“My mom was a writer, too. She was an investigative reporter for The Modern Times. She wrote mostly stuff about the environment, so our work at the Marine Center reminds me a lot of her.”

“That’s so cool, Katara. She would be very proud of you.”

“She got her first big break on the oil spill in Alaska. That was before she met Dad. She dug so deep into the corporate scandal that even years later, they had to move because of safety. Of course, that didn't keep her from doing the same thing here."

"What happened to her?"

"We don't really know. She was on assignment in Death Valley. Her editor suspected foul play... but there was never any proof."

Zuko goes pale. Paler than pale. Paler than I thought possible. "D-d-death Valley?"

If Zuko’s ghosts are whispers in the waves, then mine are mirages in the desert. "Yeah. I know. Sorry, I didn’t mean to—"

"It's getting late. We should start heading back."

It's not late, but I've obviously said too much… again. I never talk about this with anyone, and I promised myself I wouldn’t be so vulnerable with Zuko. But he’d opened up about his mom... a little. Maybe something bad happened to her, too.

Zuko avoids me for the rest of the day. He uses the excuse that he needs to help his uncle with the food... and then the cleaning… and setting up for fireworks...

At dusk, they disappear. I watch Gran Gran play a complicated board game called Pai Sho with Piandao. When we settle on the beach for the show, Iroh’s youngest visitor unexpectedly plops down in my lap. I catch a whiff of something familiar, something comforting...

Moon peaches.

"Hi, I'm Kiyi," she announces, leaning against my chest and looking up at me with curious golden eyes.

“Hi, I’m Katara,” I answer slowly. “Where is your—“

“I love the fire in the sky!” she squeals as the first bottle rocket takes flight. “Uncle does the best fireworks ever!”

I’m not sure which adult the girl came with since I haven’t been introduced to everyone at the party. I can guess by her looks that she’s related to the Kasai family somehow, but it’s the way she says Uncle that sounds…

Just like Zuko.

Per the norm, the next time I’m in Zuko’s car, we act like nothing ever happened—the almost-kiss, the cold shoulder followed by moments of deep connection complete with a poetry performance.

Nevermind all that. I have more pressing questions. "Who is Kiyi?"

"I don't know. Uncle adopts practically everyone and calls them family. He already thinks of you as his niece.” Zuko immediately turns bright red and coughs. “Kiyi is sweet, but hella stubborn."

Just like Zuko. "Are you sure you're not related?"

"Maybe? Like distant cousins or something?"

"Does Iroh have any kids?"

"His son died in the war."

I apparently have a talent for finding the most sombre subjects. Either that, or there is no end to Zuko's family drama. "Oh. Sorry."

"What's this all about anyway?"

"She told me about the blue spirit."

Aaaaaaaand cue the switch from deep red to paler than pale as the color drains from Zuko’s face. "That's... well, anyone could say that. It wouldn't be the first time something supernatural was attributed to the sea. Take... Poseidon for example."

"Or Tui and La." I wait for the furrowed brow to follow.

And... check. “Who, what now?” he asks.

“Your mom’s poem reminded me of the moon and ocean spirits, Tui and La. It’s a belief my ancestors in Alaska held, a harmonious push-and-pull relationship to keep the world in balance.”

“Sounds like the tides.”

“Exactly.”

Here comes the part where he sighs dramatically, but I have no idea what he'll say next.

“It’s just another way to explain what we don’t understand. What we cannot control.”

Hmm, interesting. “Isn’t that what spirituality does?" I muse aloud. "Help us make peace with those things? Like death, for example.”

I am NOT speaking from experience because if I’m honest with myself, I am far from making peace with my mother’s death. If he has any insight, I'm all ears.

“I… don’t know.”

I don’t know, either, but I wish I did... for the both of us.

I spend another day at the Marine Center in a complete state of distraction. After this, Yue will undoubtedly reassign me to the dreaded job of cleaning up seal shit. She alternates between giving me looks of warning and pity, so I’m still not sure what to make of our conversation or anything else that's transpired since then.

I'm going to ask Zuko about it. Point blank. He'll probably turn a ghastly shade I haven't seen, yet. But it's better than black and blue, if his father really is making threats.

But when we head back to his uncle's restaurant after work, we don't slip into our usual booth near the back. I follow Zuko past the kitchen to the stairs that lead up to Iroh’s apartment. We haven't been here alone together since that night, and all of those sensations return to me as if that moment is suspended in time. I’m looking at the face of someone who’s been beaten, and all I want to do is kiss the pain away. I won’t reopen those wounds—not now, not ever.

Zuko is not one for dwelling in the past, though. He doesn’t skip a beat as he leads me down the hallway, and I think maybe we're going to his room. My brain and pulse race with curiosity—of the possibilities—but he stops short of the doorway and points at something on the wall.

My breath catches. It’s a framed newspaper article from The Modern Times, dated May 2009, the same year my mom died.

The headline reads, "No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are." I skim down to the byline at the bottom. "Professor Kasai teaches English composition at Atlas University."

Zuko's mom taught at AU? And she wrote for The Modern Times, too?

"When I worked for my dad last summer, I found some of Mom’s files," Zuko explains. "I knew she wrote a few articles, but I didn't know Uncle had this until I started staying here recently.”

"Do you think our moms knew each other? It's a big newspaper, but maybe—"

"Was your mom The Painted Lady?"

I stop breathing altogether. "What?"

He runs a hand through his hair like he does when he's nervous. "Was that her...pen name... or whatever?"

It was a reference to war paint and a tribute to our tribal heritage. "Yes. Why?"

"Then I need to show you something."