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genesisrose74 · 4 years

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Karasuno Boys Singing Headcanons!

A/n: By this point I hope that everyone has seen the masterpiece that is Sugawara’s wonderful voice actor singing Under the Sea, which has won the spot in my heart for cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I then proceeded to go off the deep end of Haikyuu voice actors singing and safe to say I was in no way disappointed, so here’s some Karasuno boys singing headcanons! If you have any requests my ask box is open 💖 enjoy!

Daichi

Is it just me or would Daichi not care if someone heard him singing

He seems like the type of person who hums all the time

Partly because it helps relax him after yelling at the team all day LMAO He doesn’t necessarily sing with lyrics every chance he gets, but when he does he’s pretty casual about it

He’ll sing in the car a lot, and it was actually the first place you heard him

Boy has a soothing playlist for school days and you always like hearing his voice when he drives you in the mornings

Will hum when you’re both doing schoolwork in his or your house

Doesn’t realize he has a good voice, so he never tries to show off all that often in front of people and thus the team has not heard him full out sing yet

So when they does hear him like, actually singing for the first time at the end of practice they’re SHOOK

Tanaka and Nishinoya instantly start spamming you with texts, asking why you hid away such a precious secret for so long

You’re sitting in the library staring at your constantly vibrating phone like ??? doesn’t he sing all the time?

When you end up texting the boys this question they go absolutely feral

At this point Daichi is losing his voice yelling at the team to calm tf down

Suga is cackling in the corner of the team gym cause he been knew

It’s absolutely chaotic literally someone come save Daichi please-

Sugawara

HAHA GET READY BOYS

Official team mom of Karasuno sings all the damn time don’t even get me started

Always humming some upbeat tune doing schoolwork, cleaning up after practice, in the car, etc.

Seriously when is this sweet baby not singing

The team is well aware of this, especially the sideline cheer squad (Yamaguchi, moi ippon nice serve!)

Tell me he does not make up rhyming cheers under his breath during matches I dare you

Will literally make up a stupid song on the spot to describe whatever he is currently doing or feeling

Hinata bathroom vibes tbh but it’s even more out of the blue

“Got an A on my exam today, and things are going my way”

“Suga, for the love of everything please stop”

“Daichi thinks I’ll listen to what he’ll say, but I’m singing more anyway”

He is always on board with karaoke whenever Karasuno has team bonding nights

One time you are invited to this by Suga himself and he gets up and starts singing a Disney song haha guess which one

And as often as the team has heard him sing mans is feeling it tonight for whatever reason and y’all can tell

You have never heard anyone sing Under the Sea so passionately before but it’s a gift and you’re not complaining

Asahi

Boy is so insecure oh my gosh please give him some support

Very shy about singing in front of anyone and everyone

The only time you’ve ever heard him sing was when you were over at his house and he was taking a shower

You had gone downstairs to get a snack from the kitchen and when you come back up he’s singing alongside one of his playlists

You don’t know if it’s because of the steam and the solid acoustics in the bathroom but he doesn’t sound half bad

You try not to startle him as soon as he gets out because you know how flustered he’d get

But then a while later while y’all are studying on his bed you just casually bring it up like ‘You have a nice voice, Asahi’ and that’s all

He’s a little shocked at first that you heard him but kind of smiles and sighs in relief because you liked his singing!! 🥺

Precious teddy bear is totally happy for the rest of the week, like that’s how much your praise means to him sdlkgjfdjsof he’s too cute

Eventually warms up to humming little tunes around you

He’s really blushy when he does but you pretend not to notice for his sake lmao

It makes you so warm inside that he feels comfortable enough to let you hear him

Ennoshita

In this house we do not sleep on Ennoshita

As much as he is the mom of the second years he will flaunt his stuff whenever he gets the chance and this is one of those times

If a generic pop song is on at literally any point in time and he hears it, damn right he’s going to sing

When it comes to singing Ennoshita is hands down the most chaotic no question about it

Sometimes he’ll actually sing a verse pretty decently

And then the next line is just the embodiment of a dumpster fire and he does not care

These are the only times that Tanaka and Noya get irritated with him and not the other way around

But Ennoshita doesn’t give a shit, he’s so cheeky

Like he’ll be walking through the mall and a banger of a song like Fergalicious comes on over the speakers? You’re done for

Even if he doesn’t know the lyrics at certain points, or deadass does not know any of them at all, he’ll just power through

If there is a sports banquet complete with dancing and music and the team attends, Ennoshita is tearing up the floor and singing his heart out

Honestly you’re a little scared to interfere cause what is he even doing-

He has made quite a few friends from opposing teams with his frankly lunatic level energy

I’m looking at you Oikawa, Tendou

Tanaka

ANIME. INTROS.

He sounds EXACTLY like that opening singer from Bungou Stray Dogs I wonder why

No but actually we all heard his little song in season one, when he’s late and walking to the gym like what a king-

In summary he is a pretty good singer

Most definitely a frequent participant during team karaoke nights and everyone enjoys his little performances

When he realizes that girls actually like guys who can sing he starts using this to his advantage

And surprisingly it ended up working

You’re out at karaoke with some friends one night and you hop outside to get some more food for your group when you hear somebody slaying Rough Diamonds; your mind instantly goes to Food Wars

It catches your interest and then you realize...this dude goes to your school? You are positively whipped

He sees you from the doorway and when he realizes you’re enjoying the song he amps it up another three notches

Achievement get: girlfriend

Karaoke dates and other such outings happen often, thank you very much

As much as he enjoys singing he does not overdo it like Ennoshita, who has been limited to three songs per night every time the group goes out, please for the sake of everyone’s eardrums

Nishinoya

As Tanaka’s best friend and as the co-president of simps everywhere, Nishinoya is another common singer during karaoke nights

Having fun and maybe picking up a cute girl at the end of it all? That’s literally his life agenda

He either goes for the badass, headbanging songs that are super energetic, or he jams out to the generic and famous pop groups’ songs

There is no in between

Noya has a slightly deeper singing voice but sometimes he’ll go for the stupid high notes for fun and just...completely fails

The fact that he has never successfully hit one of those notes doesn’t deter him in the slightest though; his goal is to get there at least once before he dies

He can sing so many popular TikTok audios and you can’t decide whether to be impressed or slightly disappointed with that fact

Noya doesn’t really sing at practice just because he’s focused, but when he’s walking home or getting food from Sakanoshita afterwards he might start randomly singing something

The type of person who has like a billion different playlists on his phone for the most obscure moods (honestly same Noya)

Like there’s one named “Bad Test Grade But I Won a Free Popsicle Kind of Feeling” don’t even ask

Will put on a concert in his room and perform a whole lineup of these songs for you

Sometimes you think it’s just so he can avoid doing schoolwork but you let him get away with it occasionally

cause you’d never tell him but it’s so entertaining and kinda hot what

Tsukishima

OH GOD THIS BOY

I swear you have tried time and time again to figure out whatever the hell kind of music he listens to with those chonky headphones of his but you have never successfully completed that mission

There are only two - count em, TWO - instances where you have ever witnessed this embodiment of a salt shaker doing anything resembling singing

Number one was a literal meme TikTok where you were using Beyond the Mysterious Beyond from Land Before Time as your audio

You didn’t expect Tsukki to recognize it at all

But he’s in the top corner of your phone screen and he is deadass LIP SYNCING EVERY WORD and you’re SENT INTO ORBIT

DOES HE STUTTER? NOPE

Should have expected that Mr. Dinosaur Obsessed would have watched Land Before Time and loved the all the bops

That video is forever saved in your drafts because he’d literally end you if that went public but you refuse to completely get rid of it

Second time, our french fry child actually sings because Yamaguchi forces him to do a song with him lmao

It only lasts for about three verses but it’s all anyone has heard from him before and is therefore a blessing from above

If anyone has heard these two singing Sarishinohara on YouTube you know what I’m talking about if not look it up it’s an absolute gift

Literal perfection in a duet like?? Everyone is depressed when they realize that Tsukki’s voice had been hidden from the world until that very moment

We will cherish this short taste of Singing! Tsukki for all time amen 😔🙏

Yamaguchi

Like Asahi, this precious bean is also shy about his singing

But he will sometimes get a burst of confidence if he’s having a really good day or if someone is singing with him

When those moments arrive they are wonderful

He sounds like an angel, not even exaggerating he’s just so pure

Has a very light tone no matter how the song originally sounds and it’s really soothing to be honest

When his little bouts of confidence wear off please for the love of God praise him in any way shape or form, it makes him feel good about himself

On team bus rides to games, he and Yachi will sometimes sing fun tunes together to calm each others’ nerves and it’s incredibly precious

Tsukki will send you videos of this pregame ritual and you have a folder reserved for them in your camera roll

Everyone say thank you Tsukki

He will sing for you if you’re feeling super down about something because he knows you love it

Never fails to calm you down and cheer you up, and Yams knows in those moments that he would gladly sing for the rest of his life if it made you smile

We stan one soft, talented bean sprout

Kageyama

Another stubborn boy when it comes to singing in front of other people

He will hum on rare occasion but don’t expect much more

You start to realize that whenever he does start humming, though, it’s always the same song, so one day you ask him about it

It’s a song his grandfather used to sing to him when he was little and he uses it to calm himself down

You almost start crying on the spot because you know how much his grandpa meant to him

Kags says there were lyrics to it but he doesn’t remember them besides a few random words scattered here and there

It becomes your personal mission to find the rest of the lyrics because you’ll be damned if your precious baby goes another day without hearing them again

Finally after countless obscure Google searches you find the song

But you don’t know how to casually bring up the fact that you had spent hours obsessively looking for them into a conversation-

So one day you’re hanging out with Kageyama, but he’s been in an awful mood all week, and you decide to start singing the song that his grandpa used to but including the lyrics

And when he recognizes the words and puts the chorus together, he instantly relaxes and starts singing it with you

He is so touched and thankful that he can finally recall the song in its entirety, and now you both sing said song to each other whenever the other is feeling down

I love him so much my heart-

Hinata

When you find out he can sing you’re absolutely floored

Literally the only time in his life that Hinata can successfully speak English words and it’s in a song? And it’s coherent?? It’s a miracle

The whole team gets on his ass about sucking at English in class but being able to obliterate those lyrics when they come up in a song and the poor tangerine gets all huffy

hE’s tRyiNg HiS bESt oKaY

His range is SO GOOD THOUGH WHAT-

You’re in the middle of a store with him and he’s been occasionally singing along to the music from the speakers and at this point you’re not even surprised at how good he sounds

But then he just starts singing in falsetto

BOI- When I say your jaw is on the floor I am not playing games

The power he holds is beyond comprehension

He’s looking at you confused like did he do something wrong?

When you proceed to flip out over how great he just sounded baby gets so embarrassed how cute

Again, one of those people who just doesn’t know their gift and it makes him even more precious

I would kill to have his capabilities like imagine the talent; if that whole volleyball thing doesn’t work out there’s also the music industry sir-

In conclusion: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS SUNSHINE A MIC THANK YOU

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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let's do a classic Primez ask

thank you lol Prime Time is.....6 am is when im posting this, christ lol what else is new around here........Good Morning in advance lol and [rise and shine sailors it be monday]

2: Favorite book?

i don’t have one lol

3: Favorite fictional character?

i also don’t Properly have like, all-time ultimate Faves in these kind of categories either, but there’s still standouts at least lol......obviously lately it might show that i’m enjoying winston billions a lot, and natch that’s just One of the many wrol roles i’ve been glad to discover. natch winston, jared, and jeremy are fave raves amonth them

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

this is the same as the [fave fictional characters] thing in that like, sometimes i’ll Consume something where i don’t have any, and generally i’m out here multishipping and not like live or die by one Specific Pairing, if i like a character i’ll also probably like Many of their dynamic/s with various other characters, unless the options are That limited.......tying this in to the fave fictional character thing, re: winston, naturally tayston and benston, aka the fruits of us all combining our Genius, are top tier and here’s riawin where we don’t know for sure where it’s going but we’re getting some great Dynamic(tm) stuff anyways.....and natch re: jared i Enjoy Kleinsen (as something to make up ideas about that are outside canon and also as a perspective thru which to analyze canon) and re: jeremy.....stagedorks is beautiful, wild to have canon just give you some content that’s already as good as that

7: List 3 negative traits you have

well i can be fairly anxious about certain things, which is mostly negative for me lol.........a more negative 2-way street is that i’m just generally in defensive mode around people lol, often i’m like, just trying to avoid Attention entirely and/or like uh oh attention, gotta try to just avoid taking damage from it lol.......on a gradual journey to just being default More Unpleasant / less accommodating lmao......not that i can’t be sometimes, or that i can’t be Genuinely Friendly with randos coz i like their vibe and actually Like socializing lol.........and then re: the challenges of socializing, it seems like maybe when i’m in an interaction i get caught up in [uh oh how do i Respond a) at all b) in a way that’s Good(tm)] and it maybe makes me less attentive to the other person / a worse Listener smh

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

idk luckily it’s not something i’ve had to do left and right lol.......but ime it’s Also not exactly like. usually a “ah Now Is The Time to have zero relationship with this person” and most often it’s like [gradual distancing period that is mostly passive] and/or just choosing Not to reinitiate any sort of relationship........though re: more active approaches lol it’s more like. time to try to tune into my [does this feel like something indefinitely sustainable / something you actually Want to have continue in any way] gauge or whatevs. and then still it’s like, sometimes easier if moments happen to come along that provide an [opt out?] choice presented to you kinda lol.........if it’s someone You don’t want to be involved with really but they don’t feel the same and it’s “on you” to decide to peace out at some point it’s more difficult coz such [do you want to opt out]-distilled Moments probably don’t seem to manifest but i think that’s a useful thing to be aware of in itself........i.e. that there’s not always going to be a Narrative-Friendly “point of no return” / clear Line Being Crossed and even if it Doesn’t feel like “i can’t / don’t want to deal with this for Literally one more day” that doesn’t mean you should totally stick it out / don’t have enough reason to decide that you are Done at this particular moment even if you haven’t been Done prior or think you plausibly hold off on it. don’t need to have some kind of story where you think if you Explained it to anyone or everyone it’d universally be understood and everything would applaud like “Yes, the Right Decision” lmao like. not their business....

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

well with our groupchat in the replies to that Eternally Crying Over The Bar Song post..........just enjoy the “stay here for a while / cuz it’s nice / cuz it’s holy” part of the refrain, a fun part of the music, and that classic iconis like, lyrics being in a sort of character Voice and yet getting the idea / feelings across effectively even when the words are sort of general or simple.......”shooting from the heart / but we’re all a lousy shot” is great lol and also “say you will always be here” ending with “for one more” is like, there’s another Broader Idea / Sentiment expressed so effectively :’|

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

i can’t do any fun answers lmao it’d just be like [political commentary] but that’s warranted lbr

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

lmao i think it is like By Definition not easy for anyone to get over / Not struggle with.........can’t say i’ve had Romantic Misadventures exactly but uh yeah it feels bad to feel bad but i like......wait it out???? idk lmao you can’t really just timeskip past.....Heartbreak Sucks For Everyone Cuz That’s Kind Of The Whole Thing

23: What do you want your future to be like?

pandemic-less, fascism-less........i can’t say i’ve ever been someone like “yea i Know what i want to do and have this whole plan set out how i’m gonna do it lol” i remember when i was like 4 or 5 or whatever being asked What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up and i was like “shit idk.......i like dinosaurs so i guess paleontologist??” and it was as much a mystery going forward.........always and still mostly playing things by ear with a few vague “if / then” type ideas......aren’t we all though ig

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

what do i know but i Don’t like or respect the recent years trend ppl being way into it like this isn’t [being really serious about hogwarts houses] or Earnest Myer Briggs Types energy that everyone’s bringing to it......like what are you getting out of trying to be this Prescriptive based on when ppl’s parents got into it. meanwhile i’ve been on the edge of my seat since someone tweeted about “when will we get the first astrology discrimination lawsuit” re: a story about ppl wanting a housemate with a certain sign for compatibility reasons. and like again if it Is like “yes there are time-of-year Personality Types for Objective Real” like. okay, still, what is this Approach that ppl have....doing for anyone.....

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

not very fancy lol i’ll be like “damn i think i haven’t eaten today” and then do it......or be like hey here i’m gonna Do A Stretch or some shit. walk around. step outside if it’s nice. both true that Self Care has inherent limitations re: like we can’t just cancel out all the detriments to our wellbeing via Personal Choices and yet also we can’t Not look out for ourselves how we can......i’ll watch something that i Enjoy. or just knock out if it’s like “christ i need a mood reset” or i’m trying to timeskip through a headache. pet a cat. i like to try to be Appreciative of everyday ordinary shit......also messing around Making Stuff whether drawings or otherwise can be a good helpful use of time, i like talking to people who i like talking to, and other stunning stuff like that lol

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

not really lol coz again with how i’m pretty slow to realize that someone is like, nonzero actively interested in interacting with me on a regular basis, and then once someone’s In My Life there’s no particular point where i go “whoa....You’re still here??”......ig sometimes there’s like, Friendly Acquaintances where it’d be Unsurprising if they just sort of dropped fully out of the orbit but they do not

41: How do you show you care?

hmm i sure like to do ppl favors / give them gifts / help them out w/ whatever, hang out / generally be Around them where like, doing [parallel tasks] works i.e. maybe we’re doing different things but in the same room.....just like to Talk and all and listen to ppl and Learn Things About Them, try to pick up stuff re: ways that ppl express like “hey to me it conveys Being Cared About when ppl do ___”........food/cooking is a love language......that thing where shit you’d be way too anxious to do on your own For Yourself is like, oh i’m absolutely gonna do it on behalf of someone i care about.......all this stuff is more like, Possible in person lmao rip. i Care you guys

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

who is your hellsona and what is their origin story (how they got condemned to hell).........if i’m irritable / argumentative am i wrathful? you could presumably someone saying yep it is inherently the one deadly sin of lust if you’re queer.......at any given time i’m passed out and dreaming about “fuck capitalism and the protestant work ethic” and that’s sloth i guess. and okay i went “who named an animal after a The Deadly Sin as if it’s like ‘wow fuck this animal for choosing not to zoom around as though they could and i apparently think that they should’ tf” and in looking it up i immediately learned the Sloth Fact that apparently their shits are insane and also the most dangerous thing they do?? like they poop only maybe once a week and All At Once so that a single dump might knock off a third of their total weight........and it’s pretty much the only time they leave the upper branches of trees, in that they crawl down to hold on to the trunk and take this monster shit and naturally they’re not great on the ground so Pooping is like the leading cause of death for sloths in the wild. and i think they ought to be named after that.

47: What are you passionate about?

oh man [i am passionate a lot.mp3] lol.........always having a variety of Interestes which i like to talk about / potentially make things about.......decent amount of subjects i like to learn things about even if i’m bad at like, actually learning things generally lmao, what’s Not losing focus on shit.......idk it’s not that hard for me to like go off about Whatever, got these jack of all trades interests / areas of Some knowledge, i’m opinionated and probably have something (extensive) to say about anything as just part of my charm lol, and just in general i can get Enthused / worked up about things..........also passionate about various [niche gay shit] things eternally. whoms among us isn’t

#let's see if my genius plan of [lie down and try to nap and also try to wake up circa noon] works.....#employed that the other day Yet Also was like ''i Will finish this drawing today'' which entailed staying up till like 7-8am so.......

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strainofthestress · 7 years

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Fanfic: Somebody to Share it With Ch. 8

Pathfinder’s Quarters, 2345 Hours

There were two unusual things about the Pathfinder’s cabin. First, the smell of coffee wafted from the cabin into the main corridor outside. It was nothing unusual to smell coffee forward of the research room, Wes’ addiction to coffee was apparent to the entire crew, except perhaps him who ardently refused to admit it. What was slightly unusual, however, was the hour. Addicted though he may have been, Wes’ was adamant about not consuming coffee after 2100 hours, something he said he had picked up in the Alliance, a strategy to ensure that what little sleep he did get on the ship was valuable. His enforcement of this personal rule had been absolute during their time underway, so as Vetra walked by and smelled the familiar bitter odor, she took a step to the door.

The second unusual thing about the Pathfinder’s cabin was the fact that the door was closed. Ryder was a perpetual fan of keeping his stateroom door open, enjoying the view it afforded him of the Crew’s berthing and being able to hear activities on the rest of the ship. No matter how much space and privacy it afforded him, he was rather less-than-fond of being shunted into his own stateroom, away from the individuals who, in his mind, were the only reason any pathfinder mission at all was possible.

Vetra approached the door, the soft hydraulic hiss revealing the cabin to her. The wafting scent of coffee only got stronger as she walked in, as well as the classical music playing in the background becoming audible.

The room was empty upon first review, but as she turned to the right she saw evidence of Ryder’s occupation: coffee pots, plates, water cups, coffee cups, even a few clothes were strewn from him like debris from an impact, leading her eyes up to the Human who sat with what looked like intense focused, bent over his desk. There were two datapads and an input pad on the desk beneath his gaze, his hand loosely holding a stylus.

She walked behind Wes, placing a taloned hand on his chair.

“What are you up to Ryder?”

No response.

“Ryder? Hello?”

She reached out and shook his shoulder, only to step back with a small gasp at Ryder’s head sinking to the desk slowly, with a soft thud as it hit the ground. Her heart rate spiked as death was her mind’s first thought, but quickly returned to normal as she heard the deep breathing of the Pathfinder, realizing that he had instead fallen asleep at the desk.

I wonder what it says about me that my first thought is that he’s dead…

She stepped to Ryder’s side, watching his chest softly rise and fall as his head lay, peacefully, upon the desk. Her brow plates lifted slightly as she watched his eyelids lightly flutter, the hand in which he held the stylus twitch ever so slightly. Her mind thought back to the same face, the same breathing pattern, on the landing pad of the Tempest not a few days ago. Again her heart rate jumped as she remembered the moment, remembered the revelation which came with it. Ryder began to stir, and she quickly pushed the thouhts out of her mind, focusing on the adorably bleary blinking of the man in front of her.

“Vetra? Hi, what are you…”

“You fell asleep at your desk. I smelled coffee, wanted to investigate.”

Ryder sat up, rubbing his eyes as he did so.

“Yeah, well, I guess the coffee didn’t work the way I had intended.”

Ryder stood up, gesturing to the couch. Vetra shook her head.

“No, I didn’t mean to interrupt, just checking everything was okay. I know you don’t like to drink coffee this late.”

“I appreciate that, thanks. I could use the break though, stay for a bit.”

Vetra blushed in her own Turian way as she sat down, and was thankful that Ryder was inexperienced enough in reading Turian body language and facial expressions to not notice. As the two sat, Ryder produced a carafe of something other than coffee, pouring the thick, green liquid into a three-fingered cup, steam rising lazily from the cup as Ryder offered it to Vetra. She gave him an inquisitive look.

“Is that…?”

“Yeah, Shulsnek. Or however your pronounce it.”

Vetra laughed.

“Not like that!”

“I expected as much. Anyways, I try to keep a pot on hand for when you come by, figured it was kind of selfish for me to be the only one with a drink on hand whenever we have our talks.”

Vetra felt the head under her plates from her blush get even more intense as she took a sip of the drink. While a little stale, it was passable nonetheless, and more than anything she was hoping that the cup would prevent Ryder from seeing the deep color of blue her face was turning, the kindness of the gesture obvious to her, in a way that she was certain wasn’t just fantasizing.

“Aw, that’s sweet of you Ryder.” Dammit, Vetra, you keep saying things like that, he’s gonna suspect something. “So what are you studying?”

The mention of his studies caused Ryder’s face to become almost instantly exasperated, his eyes glanding downwards and his lips pursing into a flat line.

“It’s stuff for my Captain Qualification.”

“I thought you were already captain of the Tempest?”

“By necessity, yeah. But according to Andromeda Initiative Regulations the captain of every crewed vessel must complete the ‘Space Vessel Command School’. Pilots have to go through a similar program to get their quals. All the pathfinder’s went through the program, but since I’m new to the job, I never did. So, here I am.”

“So they gave you command of the Tempest, and then expected you to qualify for it later?”

“Yep. And let me tell you what a ball that is.”

“What all does it include.”

“Normally, the program would take 6 months. Classes for 8 hours a day, then studying the rest. Two exams every two weeks. It covers everything from orbital dynamics to nuclear physics to FTL mechanics.”

“Sounds intense.”

“It is. Only thing is, I’m expected to do it in 4 months, and I don’t have time to take off in a classroom to do it. So most of it is self-taught, and then Kallo acts as my tutor when schedules allow.”

Vetra laughed, taking a sip of her drink while Ryder exhaustedly shook his head.

“I’ve been wondering where you’ve been lately. I was scared you were avoiding me after the party on The Nexus.” More accurately, I was scared that I had said or done something drunk and you don’t feel the same way. But I won’t tell you that. “Sounds like you’re in need of a break, Wes.”

Ryder laughed, gesturing to her as he spoke.

“Speak of the Devil and she will appear.”

“What?”

“Old human phrase. Talk about something and it will come to you, I guess.”

Vetra thought for a second, following the statmement before her face filled with feigned indignation.

“Are you calling me a distraction?”

Ryder laughed.

“Please, Vetra, you’re much more than that.”

Vetra had never felt her heart-beat spike in so short a time before in her life. She sat, speechless for a few moments – No, he meant that you two are good friends. Don’t read anything into it… stop it! No! I thought I told you not to… okay, this is hopeless. Blissfully, Ryder didn’t seem to notice, and kept talking.

“So, how’s the rest of the crew?”

“Huh?”

“Well, since I’ve been cooped up in here for so long, I haven’t seen much of anybody besides in the galley and Kallo for my tutoring sessions. How is everybody?”

“Oh, you know, their peachy selves. Peebee is still trying to convince everybody that she’s just here because it was convenient and not because she wants to be. Drack only threatened to eat people three times this week, so that’s an improvement. Cora is as moody as ever… but don’t tell her I said that. Liam is, well, Liam. No other way to describe it. Oh, and Jaal has discovered the joys of Blasto. He’s been binging it for, like, a week and a half at this point.”

“I thought I heard that through the ventilation system. He hasn’t made you watch it with him, has he.”

A grim turian nod.

Ryder extended his hand in fake consolation, taking Vetra’s.

“I am so sorry.”

Vetra’s stomach jumped a few feet higher in her torso. Really? Really? That’s all it takes? I swear, sometimes you’re like something out of a bad love-story fanfic!

Vetra laughed, slyly swatting Ryder’s hand from hers to try and continue ignoring herself.

“I suppose we’ll manage. Have you heard about the response to the Salarian’s rescue on Kadara?”

“No, I haven’t!”

“Well, apparently quite a few people there have friends on the ark. Tri was saying that there was a huge celebration, the entire town partied for a few days as a result. Apparently it’s doing some good things for The Initiative’s reputation down there. Though, apparently they see you as a slightly separate entity, so it might just be you they like.”

“Well, I’m sure we could use that to our advantage. There are a few guns and mods there I’d like, if they were on sale.”

“Wes, I’m almost offended! You wanted something and you didn’t ask me?”

Ryder chuckled, leaning back as the friendly banter and conversation sapped the stress and anxiousness he had been feeling over his training away.

“I know, what a terrible, terrible friend I must be.”

“Oh, absolutely. And a horrible pathfinder too. And ugly, and mean, and…”

“Yeah yeah, I get the point, I’m just an all around piece of space garbage. I get it.”

Vetra chuckled, shifting slightly on the couch. She took another sip of her drink, her subharmonics happily purring in a register which Ryder couldn’t hear. Now, whether that’s for the drink or being with him, I’m not certain I want to know. Ancestors, I really need to sort myself out…

After a short pause, Vetra spoke.

“You ever think about what this whole thing will look like when it’s done?”

“What do you mean?”

“What will the Initiative be in, say, another 600 years?”

“Weren’t we talking about this earlier?”

“Yeah, we were. But I’ve been thinking about it some more, about how it all works...”

Ryder settled down into the couch, adjusting to be more comfortable as he heard Vetra get ready to launch into one of her long thought-experiment discussions. Throughout the course of their late-nigh talks they had become common occurrences: Vetra would open a topic and discuss it out loud, while Ryder interjected a thought here and there. To an outside observer it would invariably seem odd, one-sided, a Turian ruminating out loud while her human side-kick threw an idea up every once in a while. But to both parties involved, it was the most natural thing in the new galxy.

Vetra’s mind, through training or naturally (and assuredly a combination of both) worked best through odd connections of seemingly unrelated ideas. She would draw lines and relations which nobody else could see, causalities which spanned degrees of separation, conclusions which seemed bizarre at first but the most natural ones to come to when further explained. Ryder, on the other hand, was a man whose mind worked in logical procession, travelling from each step to the next with discrete, easily explainable steps. He had an impulsive streak, one needed look no further than his Nomad driving to see that, but he was, at his core, a man of thought and logic; one of the many reasons why he had been able to succeed so well as Pathfinder. So while Vetra’s mind jumped from point to point, building future cities from the dust in the sunlight, Ryder followed her to ensure the thought train had track enough to get from A to B.

Wes listened to Vetra as she painted a world a couple centuries in the making. Gestured wildly as her seldom-seen imaginative streak came out in full force. By trade she was normally scrupulous, shrewd, utilitarian almost to a fault. But the same history which had forged these skills had likewise exposed her to enough of the galaxy, enough of the prejudice and faults with the status quo that she couldn’t help but dream of a better future, see the possibility which came with the unknown. It was seldom seen, too few fell within her circle of trust, even on the Tempest, to be aware of Vetra Nyx’s dreamer side. But Ryder was the privileged few who got to see it. And as he relaxed, sipping cold coffee and trying to follow her line of thought, he smiled slightly for it.

Vetra stopped, looking at Ryder curiously.

“You’re smiling.”

His smile deepened, this time bemusement mixing into whatever emotion was on it before.

“Am I? I hadn’t noticed.”

“You are. Definitely. I’m boring you, aren’t I?”

“No, not at all! It’s just… I don’t know where you come up with this stuff.”

Vetra laughed, sitting down from a standing position she never remembered taking.

“Neither do I. I honestly never talk about this stuff with anybody else. Only you.”

Gee, I wonder why?

Ryder smiled deeper again, a warm light sitting behind his eyes as he regarded his closest friend for billions of lightyears.

“Well, I’m glad you do. It’s a good side of you.”

The small grin on Vetra’s face left, replaced by an unsuspecting expression of guilt.

“Maybe. I should spend less time dreaming about the way things could be and more time making them that way.”

“If there’s anything you do enough of, it’s work. Let yourself dream a bit. What’s a new galaxy if not a new place to build your dreams?”

Vetra laughed, finishing off her drink.

“Maybe.” If he only knew what dreams I’d like to build.

Alright, nope. That’s it. We’re getting out of here before you say something bad, and we’re thinking about this for a good long while.

What’s there to think about? You even said you loved him that night.

Well… said to yourself. It’s progress.

Yeah, but that doesn’t mean my eyes have to melt every time I see him and I turn into a little girl again.

Isn’t that sort of exactly what love is?

Shut up.

“Vetra? You doing alright? You spaced out there for a bit”

Vetra’s eyes re-focused on the wall in front of her, a quick smile replacing the thoughtful expression she was wearing earlier.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Great. Awesome. I’ll get out of your cowl now, Wes, you’ve clearly got studying to do.”

“You can stay if you – “

“No, it’s alright, I have things to do. You have studying. You know where to find me.”

With that she was gone, the hydraulic hiss of the stateroom doors riding her heels as she left. Ryder was left standing in front of the couch, coffee cup hanging loosely in his hand. His expression was puzzled – his brain ran this way and that as it tried to figure out why the sudden exit. After a few minutes he brought himself out of his reverie, physically shaking his head as he walked to the desk, speaking softly under his breath as he did so.

“No time to think about that now. On to Intra-system FTL dynamics. Lucky me.”

With that his datapads lit up again and his eyes scrutinized them as hard as his focus would allow. Only problem is, while his body was at his desk, his mind was still talking with Vetra, and there was a distinct melancholic feeling in the back of his head at seeing Vetra go.

Tempest Armory, 2230 Hours

The soft hum of the HVAC systems filled the ship as the Pathfinder walked through, all the crew save Cora and Dr. T’Perro asleep. In order to sustain constant operations with a crew not even a quarter the size of a normal cruiser, the entire crew had gotten preliminary helmsman and engineering training. During transit, when they were in deep space and operating normally, they would take turns working long shifts. There were two long-shifts per week, one to handle the ship from 1800 to 2400, the other from 2400 to 0600. This week, it was Cora and T’Perro on the first, Liam and Kallo on the second.

Wes made a habit of walking the ship when he was thinking, found the movement and change of scenery a nice refresher from being cooped in his stateroom all day long. He would wander up and over decks, occasionally stopping to stare out the vast windows of the conference room or staring, mesmerized, as the fluidic blue aura which surrounded and danced around the drive core, enjoying the low white noise. Tonight, though, as he walked through engineering, he heard the soft beeping of an omnitool and terminal, accompanied by soft dual-toned muttering and cursing.

He walked forwards, the door set to open only upon request. Pressing the doorbell, he heard a muted sigh of exasperation from inside before a couple of armored footsteps and the pneumatic hiss of the door brought him face to face with a very agitated Vetra.

“Gil, for the last time, I’ll get you your… oh, Ryder, it’s you.”

Wes’ left eyebrow cocked up as his expression morphed from confusion to concern. Even to his human eye it was clear that Vetra was stressed, high-strung, moreso than normal. Her brow plates sat low on her face and her mandibles quickly oscillated from being tightly pressed against her cheeks to wide open. She calmed slightly when she saw Ryder, gesturing him in with a slightly less manic set of motions.

He walked inside, a quick scan of the desk and the cereal boxes and meal bars around it telling him just how stressed and worried Vetra was. He leaned against the table behind the desk as the turian sat down in the chair, falling into it as though some weight were pulling her.

“Ryder, what can I do for you?”

“I was just walking through, heard you were up. Wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine, thanks. Anything else.”

The response was short, tense, said with a bite to her tone which was usually only reserved for annoying customers, the those individuals who she didn’t feel she had time for. While Wes was slightly taken aback by being on the receiving end of such a tone, normally he watched it in parallel, he nonetheless kept his face still, only raising a single inquisitive eyebrow in response, staring Vetra down.

The two held eye contact for three, four, five seconds before she finally cracked, her brow plates releasing upwards and her entire posture relaxing, as a spring which has been compressed a little too much. Her head sank down, her arms relaxing onto her legs as she sat farther back in the chair. Ryder continued to watch her, his expression a mix of shrewd observation and genuine concern.

After a few moments, she spoke.

“I’m sorry Ryder. You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s alright, Vetra. What’s up?”

“Just cleaning up the mess my sister really made, figuring out just how far she went to make it. It’s not good.”

“You going to recover?”

“Oh, I’ll be fine. Most of my contacts figured out it wasn’t me and were waiting to find out what happened. A few are annoyed that my kid sister was able to get as deep into my systems as she was, but they don’t know Sid.”

“You know, she’s not a kid anymore, Vetra.”

A new layer of anger flashed in Vetra’s eyes as she looked back at Ryder.

“You don’t think I know that? Trust me Ryder, I am painfully aware of just how much she isn’t a kid.”

“Then why do you keep calling her your ‘kid sister’?”

“You’re going to latch onto that? It’s just a phrase, something I’ve said forever. It’s…”

“Something you wouldn’t use anymore if you didn’t still believe it.”

Vetra’s head physically moved back at Ryder’s words. Her expression stormed with confusion, anger, resentment, curiosity. Her mandibles spread wide again, then back to her face, repeating the process as her eyes darted between Ryder’s. Eventually, she spoke, softly.

“Maybe… Maybe it’s what I want her to be.”

“What do you mean?”

The sound of her chair was deafening against the quiet hum of the ship at night as Vetra stood and walked to her window into the drive core, staring up at the fluorescent blue orb, Ryder watching from behind her as she spoke.

“When Sid and I ran away, when it was just the two of us, I did everything I could to stop her from realizing just how bad things were. We got to comfortable eventually, but the people I had to deal with to get us there, the things I had to do to earn it, I didn’t want her to have to see them too. What I do – make deals, keep contacts, it isn’t a nice line of work. I’m good at it, yeah, and it’s treated me fine over the years, but it isn’t exactly the most… reputable, of jobs. I want something better for Sid, something more.”

“You really want to protect her, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, Ryder. Maybe it’s because I never got much protection myself. Maybe it’s because it helps me to feel like I’m giving her what our parents never did. I don’t know.”

Vetra’s voice reached a new pitch of exasperated, annoyed, her body tensing as she worked her way through thoughts and feelings she would much rather be a stranger to. After a few minutes, Ryder pressed on.

“She’s not a kid anymore.”

A deep sigh from the window.

Quietly: “I know.”

Ryder paused, collecting his thoughts before he spoke. As he did so he walked towards Vetra, standing abreast from her as the two looked up into the drive core compartment, watching the blue mass effect field move and oscillate.

“After mom… died, Dad took me out fishing on earth. Some lake, somewhere in North America, I don’t even know where. We got out there and sat for hours, silently catching fish. It was, honestly, really awkward. At one point, though, he turned to me and started speaking, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget what he said. He said ‘Son, I want you to know, that everything I’ve done, I’ve done it for you.’ Yeah, I know, it sounds cheesy, but when Dad said it, anything sounded cool. Maybe that’s just because he was my Dad, I don’t know. Anyways, he said ‘The hardest challenge for any parent is to teach their kids how to be their own person. You have to give your children enough guidance that they know where to go, but enough room that they go there as their own people, as themselves. I’ve always aired on giving you more room, your mother was better at giving you guidance. Sometimes, I may have given you too much room, been too distant. And I’m sorry for that. But I hope you’ll understand, someday, that I did it for you, to try and let you be yourself.’ “

Vetra laughed slightly at Wes’ impression of Alec’s grizzled voice, his brows furrowing as he tried to imitate the infamous N7’s unique way of talking. He continued.

“Now that he’s gone, I’ve been thinking about that. Yeah, I think he gave me a bit more room than I needed, and I wish I had known him better. But on a certain level, he was right. Maybe that’s what you need to do with Sid.”

The sound of the HVAC filled the room as the two sat in silence, both staring forwards vacantly at the core. Vetra spoke, almost absentmindedly.

“Mabye. Maybe.”

Almost physically she shook herself out of her thought.

“Haven’t we already had this conversation?”

Ryder laughed, smiling at her.

“Yeah, we did. When you were looking for your lamp. Did you ever find it, by the way?”

Vetra laughed, rolling her eyes as she thought about the process of doing so.

“Yeah, I did, eventually. I’ve got it waiting for me on The Nexus. I don’t think I had realized just how far Sid had gotten when we talked.”

“It alarms you, doesn’t it?”

“Well, yeah. Ryder, these are dangerous people. They’re pretty much the biggest reason I keep an assault rifle with me all the time. Well, besides the Kett. But who in their right mind would want their kid sis… their sister, wrapped up with those people.”

Ryder laughed, holding his hand up in mocking helplessness.

“Hey, I’m not saying you have to like it. Just, give her some space.”

Vetra sighed, frustratedly.

“I thought it would be so… easy, to let her go her own way after we last talked. Thought it’d be as simple as not getting involved. You’re right, Ryder, she just wants to help people, to make a difference. And I guess that’s more of what we do than I give it credit. Certainly now. But the more I find out what she did, the more I imagine her having to deal with those people, having to be in the line of fire, the harder it is for me to let her.”

“I think everybody with a younger sibling can empathize. Nobody said it had to or was going to be easy. But, it’s probably something you should think about.”

“I know, I know. I already conceded. Have I told you just how much I hate it when you’re right?”

“I think you mentioned it, yeah.”

“Yeah? Well, stop it. You’re allowed to be right about pathfinder things, not about me.”

“Oh really? And how are you going to enforce that?”

“Oh, I can think of a few ways. I’ve learned a few tricks in my time.”

After she spoke, Vetra suddenly realized just how close Ryder was now. He was still standing at the edge of the window, wearing a smirk which she had come to love and hate in equal amounts since meeting him. She, however, seemed to have steadily moved across the window, leaning towards him until her face was mere centimeters away from his.

When did… how did… Huh.

She pushed back, trying (and failing) to hide just how surprised and startled she was by her constant drift towards Ryder. Wes’ eyes darted to the side as she did, a slight bit of confusion coming to his expression as he too realized just how close they had gotten, and just how much he had enjoyed it. Vetra coughed, awkwardly, Ryder moved his shoulder, working out a bit of tightness after their rescue of Sid. Silence.

Ryder spoke, awkwardly.

“Well, uh, I should… go back to… studying. And such.”

“Yeah, I’ve got… work.”

“Talk to you later?”

“Yeah. You know where to find me.”

Pathfinder Cabin, 2330 Hours

Ryder laid in bed, staring at the plating above him. He knew he should be asleep, his sense of time had gotten painfully good since he gained full access to SAM. But, still, he couldn’t sleep, thoughts debating and discussing in his head.

What the hell was that?

I don’t know. She got so close and we…

We got excited about it.

Yeah, like, heart-pounding, stomach in throat excited.

Why?

She’s a good friend?

Come on. Liam’s a good friend and we’ve never gotten that feeling. Same with Cora.

So, there’s something different.

Yeah, but what?

Well, let’s work through this. If we get this feeling about one individual, but not others, then we only need to find the difference between Vetra and everybody else, and we’ve got our answer.

What a nerdy way to go about this.

You’ve got a better way?

I’m you, we’re both the same voices, talking crazily inside our own head. Of course I don’t have a better way.

Alright then, what are the similarities?

Well, we’re all on the pathfinder team. We’re all good friends. We all go on missions together commonly.

Alright, differences?

Cora and Liam are biotics, Vetra is more tech oriented?

I can’t see why that would affect it. Next.

Liam and Cora are humans, Vetra is a Turian.

Aliens have never given me issues before, and I really don’t think it’s that. Next.

Uhmmm… We don’t have long late-night conversations with Liam and Cora.

No it can’t be that because… actually, that’s a good point. Let’s take that.

Well, why do we talk to Vetra so much?

Because we like listening to her thoughts and sharing our own. It’s a nice stress relief to have a best friend to tell things to and hear their take on the situation.

Alright. So we enjoy her friendship.

Yeah, pretty much.

Moreso than Liam and Cora. Or at least, more consistently and for longer.

Yeah, friends vs. best friends.

So, why would we get excited at being physically close?

A new voice butted in.

God, you’re all so thick.

Who are you?

The one with the answer.

Again: we’re all Wes, just talking crazily to ourselves.

So it was a dumb question then.

Yeah, I guess so. Anyways, why are we thick?

Because the answer is obvious.

Oh?

Yeah. Who doesn’t get excited around somebody who they love.

Oh,yeah, I guess that makes sense. Plus it… WAIT WHAT?

Come on, don’t tell me you don’t see it. The late night conversations, the fact that Vetra is literally always with us on mission, the times we spend hanging out on The Nexus, the times on Kadara.

Well… huh. Alright, yeah, you’re right. It’s completely consistent. I guess we love her.

There’s no guess in it. You’re way farther over this cliff than you’re giving yourself credit for, Wes.

We’ll deal with that later. Do you think she feels the same way?

I don’t know. Probably not.

Why not?

Look at it. We’re a human, she’s a Turian. She’s this badass smuggler who’s done almost any job the galaxy has to offer and is just as able to talk you into giving her what she wants as shooting you for it. You’re the son of a pathfinder who’s trying, and doing a moderate-at-best job of leading the Initiative with little to no training, who barely even knows how to do his job not to mention anything else.

Alright, point taken. So, we keep it from her.

Yeah, as best as we can.

Something tells me this isn’t going to be fun.

Something tells me we should go to bed.

Maybe. But I want to stay up and think about this.

For the last time, we’re all the same person. This is literally just a thinking exercise. So, we’re going to bed. Now.

Galley, 0630 Hours.

Vetra adjusted her armor as she stood in front of the mirror in crew quarters, ensuring everything was snugly secure, shaking out a few components as a final check. Try as she might she couldn’t fall asleep as early as she should have last night, her mind just as pre-occupied with the incident in the armory as Ryder’s. For how small it was – just standing closer together – she found that it was a much bigger deal in her mind, her feelings magnifying it into an incident of some importance.

She walked out of crew berthing, taking the short, 3 foot walk across the corridor into the galley, the door opening in front of her to reveal Ryder, bags under his eyes, making himself a breakfast ration pack. Vetra caught herself as her stomach jumped a few times, suppressing the blush which seemed to come every damn time she saw him now.

“Morning, Ryder.”

Ryder looked at her, his eyes widening slightly before he quickly looked back at the coffee cup. His revelations from the night before left him blushing at just the sight of Vetra, his internal dialogue blowing up as he forced himself to speak.

“Vetra, morning.”

The turian walked to the counter, grabbing a dextro breakfast pack and popping it into the second food rehydrater. The smell was pleasant, though she new it smelled better than it tasted. An awkward silence sat between the two, Wes becoming incredibly interested in his own ration pack, Vetra examining the deck plating as though it were the most engaging piece of art in Heleus. Eventually, Ryder spoke.

“Sleep well?”

“Not really. You?”

“I’ve had better. Any particular reason?”

“Just thinking some things over. You?”

“Same. Wanna talk about it?”

Vetra cursed the ancestors as she physically shut her mouth for a second. No matter how much you want to, you know that’s a terrible idea. You have no clue if he feels the same way. Don’t do it.

“Not really. Need to think it through a bit more. You?”

Ryder’s own blush became a shade darker as he became even more interested in pulling the ration pack out and mixing the salt into his eggs. Ryder, no. She probably doesn’t even feel the same way. Save the friendship, don’t say a damned thing.

“Not really. Same thing, need some more time.”

The two sat down, across from each other, both looking at the table between them intently, both wearing an expression of somebody who wants to say something but thinks better of it, neither being bold enough to look up to see it on the other.

As they ate their breakfast in relative silence, both thought through the night before, their discussions, their feelings for each other, newly revealed for Ryder and just as perplexing and alarming for Vetra. Both were dying to tell the other something, anything, act in any way on how they felt. Neither was sure enough to do so. Both of their inner monologues followed much the same structure, mini-Ryder’s saying near imperceptibly different arguments from the mini-Vetra’s across the table. But at the end of the day, they both came to the same conclusion:

I’ve got to do something, or this is going to be way, way, way too long of a mission. Why the hell did I have to go and fall in love with them?

#fics #fanfiction #mass effect fanfiction #mass effect and #vetra x ryder #male ryder #vetra nyx

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sassycassie-s-series · 7 years

Text

Newsflash 3

Chapter 3 - Black Holes

By: SassyShoulderAngel319 ( @sassyshoulderangel319 )

Fandom/Character(s): The Flash - Barry Allen/The Flash and OC (Heather Astra)

Rating: PG

Notes: (Masterlist) I am such a space nerd!

Chapter 1

Previous Chapter

^^^^^

A week passed. I tried to make two videos a week—one on Tuesday and one on Friday—so I'd made one a few days after the one with Barry in it. My viewers were still mildly freaking out and begging to see more of him. Every time I walked into the crime lab in the morning, I'd greet him with a smile that apparently said, “I know something you don’t know,” because he always asked me what was up.

On the week mark, I strolled into the lab and flopped into my desk chair.

“You’ve got that look on your face again,” he remarked.

“What look?” I asked.

“The look of ‘I know something that makes me smile every time I see you.’ What’s up?”

I shook my head and pulled a file folder towards me. “Nothing. Just, everyone on my channel really loved seeing you.”

“That was a really funny video by the way—and not just the parts with me in it. You're really good at telling stories and keeping me captivated,” he offered. I felt my ears grow warm and my whole face probably turn pink.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. “I'm making another one after work today if you’d like to join.”

Barry gave me a surprised look. I instantly backpedaled.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but—”

“Heather. Relax. I'd love to. What are you making?”

“Well, my subscribers know that I'm a science nerd and a total space geek, so some of them have been asking me to explain a little bit about some space stuff. I thought I'd start easy and talk about black holes.”

Barry snorted. “I love that you call black holes the easy part.”

I blushed again. “Well, once I explain what the Event Horizon and singularity are and how they distort the fabric of space, I figure it’ll be easier to explain that most galaxies orbit a supermassive black hole and all the rest. Get the big complicated topic out of the way so I don’t get too many questions. Though if I get questions I can't answer, I’ll direct them to Crash Course Astronomy…”

“Heather. I'm just teasing you,” he put in.

We went about our business for the day. We had a bunch of cases to get through. Barry was faster at getting through them than I was, and I had no idea how. I kept my back to him most of the day since our computers faced away from each other and couldn’t fathom how he finished so many so fast.

^^^^^

“Good evening Sailors, it’s Friday! And since I don’t have a boyfriend or a date tonight, I'm here with another perpetually single friend—one that you guys have been begging me to bring back on this channel since his first appearance last week. Internet, please welcome Barry back!” I exclaimed, moving slightly closer to the edge of the frame so Barry could come in with a big smile. He threw his arm around my shoulder and I put my arm around his waist so his momentum wouldn’t knock me over.

“Hey guys! I'm back!” he greeted with an energetic wave.

“And today we’re going to do some science. Everyone here knows that I am a massive nerd and I love science, so a bunch of you have been asking me to explain some topics about space. Barry and I decided we’d work together to give you guys some science, since as I said last time Barry was on here, he’s pretty much the smartest man I've ever met,” I explained.

Barry squeezed my shoulders. “As always, Heather, you're the nicest girl I know.” He smirked and looked down at me, finally taking his eyes off the camera lens. “Shall we then?”

“Let’s do it.”

“So what are we talking about today, Heather?”

“Well, Barry, we’re going to talk about black holes! Welcome to Astra Astronomy!”

Barry chuckled. “Your last name is so perfect for this,” he commented.

“I was just meant to be a science nerd,” I joked.

There was a moment that I'd edit out where I bent down out of the frame and popped back up with the white lab coat costumes I'd borrowed from my older sister—she and her husband had been mad scientists for Halloween last autumn—and handed one to Barry.

We pulled them on and he grabbed the notes on a clipboard I'd written down when we’d been having lunch earlier at the lab.

“Where should we start, Dr. Astra?” he asked, faking being formal.

“Oi!” I teased. “I'm not a doctor—and neither are you!”

“Sorry I was just trying to be funny,” he mumbled.

“Yeah but sometimes people on the internet can't take jokes and think that everything is serious. Not saying that happens all the time but when it does… oi.”

“Okay. Where should we start, Heather?”

“I was planning on starting with the Event Horizon because no one seems to know what it means but they’ve all heard the term in sci-fi movies,” I answered. “The Event Horizon is the point in a black hole where the escape velocity—that is, how fast something has to be going to escape the force of gravity—exceeds the speed of light.” I glanced over and up and Barry. “I'm going to add visual aids later over this like right here or so.” I pointed to the empty space between our heads vaguely.

^^^^^

Barry sat next to me on my sofa as I edited the video. He had his legs crossed under him and a mug in his hand that I'd given him full of hot chocolate. Rain was pounding outside—Central City spring—and he was helping me out. My laptop was balanced on my thighs and I was scrolling through Google Images looking for good pictures of black holes and diagrams to help make our points.

“This is so cool,” Barry commented. “Honestly. I've seen all your videos since you started making them and wow you’ve already improved so much.”

I smiled and felt my ears grow warm. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Also we did science on the internet. How cool is that? It’s like… you're Bill Nye…” he trailed off.

I snorted. “Me? No. You’re YouTube’s Bill Nye,” I teased. “I'm just that guy with the deep voice behind the camera that makes sarcastic comments. ‘Now the sun’s up there!’—‘Hopefully.’” Barry laughed as we kept editing.

“Is this really how you spend your Friday nights?” he asked curiously as I finally found the right picture and put it on over the main screen of the video.

“Yup. That’s what happens when your family all lives in Keystone and you live here with no friends and you're too independent and smart to make most guys interested in you. I scare guys off pretty easily so not too many dates for me!” I joked, being ultra-sarcastic to hide the fact that I was actually a little hurt inside that I never got asked out. “Truth is, it’s mostly my fault, I don’t ‘put myself out there’ or try to get guys to be interested.” I put my headphone in one ear and gave Barry the other bud. “Here. It’s easier to hear where the audio begins and finishes this way,” I offered. He took it and plugged it into his ear.

“Oh you use the weird kind! The squishy ones.”

“Yeah, the hard ones really hurt the inside part of my ear and the big over-ear kinds hurt because my ears stick out too much and they press my ears against my head. Which aches after a while.”

“Hmm. I'm sorry.”

I shrugged and went back to editing, moving it frame-by-frame to cut out some awkward pauses. I was so focused on what I was doing, I almost didn’t notice that Barry was still there. I put in some boring, generic vlogger music where I felt it needed to go, my little channel “logo” between the main body of the video and the outro bit where I wished everyone well and promised to see them soon.

Once it was done, Barry and I watched it to make sure I hadn't missed anything and added one of our bloopers to the end after my farewell of “See you in the stars, Sailors!” It was us laughing, bent double, clinging to each other’s arms to stay upright, after Barry made a bad pun.

“Oh no, I sound like Cisco,” Barry complained sitting next to me.

I snickered.

There were several moments of non-silence as we were waiting for the video to render. The quiet was filled by the rain on the windows and the occasional low rumble of thunder. I was letting the editing software render the frames with additional images over the main video or different transitions while I stood next to my big living room window with my own hot chocolate mug in my hand.

Barry got off the sofa and moved to stand next to me. “I love lightning,” he remarked.

I smiled. “Me too.”

Next Chapter

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lone-hand · 6 years

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A JOURNEY INTO THE INNER & OUTER COSMOS OF LINDA FOX

Though we were unable to reach Linda Fox, we managed to get a hold of a long term client and comrade of the sleep therapist / new age pop singer to discuss the making, meaning and musings of her first official album available for public consumption ‘Leopards Break Into My Heart’. Join us as we peer into Linda’s elusive world of dreams and nighttime existentialism.

“I think Linda encourages us to witness the Tragedy Of Being™ while we are awake, and then dream up a corresponding wealth of hope and courage while we are asleep.”

How do you know Linda Fox? What is your relationship to her?

I first met Linda when I was just ten years old. She was my sleep therapist. What happened is that I’d gone away to scouts camp in ’95, it was a winter camp at Manning Park, and we slept in snow caves, and when I returned home I was incredibly feverish and sick. One night I fell into a deep delirium and ran around my house screaming, a nightmare hallucination kind of an awful ordeal that my poor brother had to bear witness to, and then after that I had these crazy nightmares every night and would sleep walk. It got really bad so my parents eventually took me to a sleep therapist, Linda Fox, and she made me a personalized cassette with a guided meditation on it to help get into a good sleep state. It worked! After that I had NoMoreNightmares™.

How would you describe Linda? What is she like?

I haven’t seen her in person for quite some time. When I was young I remember she was incredibly gentle, she could maintain eye contact indefinitely which always pulled me into her energetic field. Basically contagious vibrations of pure goodness. I remember she was so calm and intense when dealing with dream stuff, but then when we’d be talking about normal life she would get super playful and goofy, make jokes and impressions like she didn’t really care about things outside of dreams, like it was all just imaginary stuff and dreams were where the real important things in life took place.

Was it an intentional decision to stay out of the spotlight or is she just reclusive and hard to reach?

When I tried to reach Linda for the first time eleven years after our therapy sessions (2006) I was unable to get ahold of her. I assumed she had moved away or something. Then I received an email about a year later from a company called LEP-E Alternatives© who said they were contacting me on Linda’s behalf. All of my contact with Linda since then has been mediated by LEP-E Alternatives©. I believe she’s most likely not interested in the spot-light as it exists now in relation to the commodification of lifestyle. Her interest is in the collective unconscious and how dreams can gain access to this realm of human experience. I believe that Linda remains in the spotlight of the collective unconscious. If you look you’ll see her center stage, maintaining eye-contact with anyone who’ll dare to look.

How did this album come to be? what inspired the creation of it?

From what I understand Linda began to add ambient synth sounds to her guided meditation tapes that she was giving to clients, helping guide them into sleep. I think she started singing her words more and more, adding more and more layers and rhythm sections, until the tapes were no longer guided meditations. They were pop songs with a Meditative Twist™.

“The heart must be cracked by life, it’s a fundamental quality of life to chip away at the heart”

What is her creative process like? how are the songs created? how was the album recorded?

Leopards Break Into My Heart is her first official album for public consumption and it is essentially a best of from all her personalized guided meditations. All the ones that were just a little too poppy to end up on a sleep tape for a traumatized client.

Does she have any favourite or integral pieces of music gear? What’s the set up?

Definitely the Korg M-1 Music Station. It is jam packed with the best in synthetic world music sounds. Linda is drawn to artificial sounds, because through the artificial one can gain access to the ‘real’. If the right combinations of artificial elements are organized together they can cause a sort of short circuit in the listener, which jams up the artificial façade that stands between them and the chaos of reality. Similar to the way a zen koan uses words to collapse the mediating powers of language, leaving us in the immediate presence of ThatWhichStandsOutsideOfLanguage®™.

So Linda uses the Korg M-1 with a loop station, creating loops that repeat endlessly during jams. Linda spends hours listening to them and slowly adding to them, building a sonic environment whose boundaries meet and blur and become seamless.

Is ‘Leopards break into my heart’ a concept album? How do the songs relate to each other?

The main theme that underlies the songs on Leopards Break Into My Heart is a conceptualization of time that is non-linear. This non-linear temporal frame is present in the content of songs, like Strangers for example, where Linda asks “who were those strangers in my dreams? / Their symptoms are the cause of my disease/ who were those strangers in my dreams? / They’re symptoms of my cognitive disease”. It’s an order of time that characterizes feedback loops, where effects cause their own causes, like the symptom of a disease that is also what caused the disease. This temporal logic seems to be primary in dream consciousness. Things are constantly happening because of themselves

Similarly, there are two songs on the album that were sampled by electronic bands, The KLF and The ORB. Linda’s songs are the originals, but they were made 15 years after they were sampled.

The lyrics evoke much curiosity, what are the songs about? Do you think there are any messages or sentiments she wished to convey?

“Hope is the sun of tomorrow’s cold embrace”. I think Linda encourages us to witness the Tragedy Of Being™ while we are awake, and then dream up a corresponding wealth of hope and courage while we are asleep. She is a nighttime existentialist, perhaps.

“It's like surfing waves of ontological uncertainty, if you swim too far out you might get sucked out past the break and not make it back, but if you do it right you can find your way back to the shores of stability.”

What does it mean for a leopard to break into ones heart?

Leopards represent a kind of change from the outside. Kafka wrote an aphorism that goes like this:

“Leopards break into the temple and drink all the sacrificial vessels dry. It keeps happening. In the end it can be calculated in advance and is incorporated into the ritual”

There is a certain quality of change that cannot occur from within a system, be it biological or cultural. This kind of change comes from the outside, and for Linda this change is represented by the leopard. Linda sings “There’s a crack in my heart where the Leopards get in”, which addresses her vulnerability (and I think a collective vulnerability) to changes occurring within the boundaries of our deepest source of identity. The heart must be cracked by life, it’s a fundamental quality of life to chip away at the heart, and it is also a fundamental quality of life to bring forth agents of change to infiltrate those cracks, aspects of the environment that enter into our deepest sense of self and reconfigure it. And we can’t fight the leopards. We Are The Leopards™.

Can you talk about the album art?

Linda rides a 1988 Suzuki Katana. It is a means by which Linda can find the cracks in the heart of this city:

Vancouver, BC, TheMostBeautifulCityInTheWorld™.

Once inside the heart of the city Linda can smile at the mayor, Gregor Robertson™, and say “you’ve gone too far”.

Are there any specific musical influences that informed the sound of this album? what music inspires her?

Enigma, Julee Cruise, Opus III, Future Sound of London, Harold Budd, The KLF, Orbital, Seefeel

What does it mean to be 'Horsin In the Void'?

Horsin in the Void is when you get outside of the stable. The endless task of conscious beings is probably to negotiate with their environment and maybe try to extract stability out of the chaos(!) This process leaves us worn out to say the least, and here's why: Chaos is unrelenting. Chaos has a multi-dimensional configuration, so its like, we finally stabilize things and then what the heck (?) here comes chaos from a dimension we didn't even know existed, so here we go on and on adapting to the new dimensions of instability that haunt us in Sisyphean fashion. Tiring stuff. So sometimes you relax and wander out of the stable, like a horse without a home. It's like surfing waves of ontological uncertainty, if you swim too far out you might get sucked out past the break and not make it back, but if you do it right you can find your way back to the shores of stability. Horses Surfing in Waters of Madness.

Will Linda's guided meditation tapes ever become available for public consumption?

Linda's guided meditations are strictly for those in need of her patented SleepCorrectiveTechnology™. That being said, there is a small section on Leopards Break Into My Heart that uses a sample from my original sleep meditation, and when I first heard that section I flashed back to a recurring nightmare I used to have where I was in an infinite black, empty space, and there was a giant, green, weightless cube that I was passing back and forth with an unknown opponent. It was a sort of game we were playing. At some point in the game I lost my focus and the cube drifted past me, out of reach. And as I watched the cube fade slowly into the endless dark abyss I realized all at once that by missing my chance to return the cube I had lost the game, and by losing the game I had ended the world. An enormous sense of guilt and dread filled me at that time. Enormous. I looked over at my friend who was listening to the album with me and she gave me a big thumbs up. Gosh that felt good to see that thumbs up symbol, and to know that the Green Cube Delirium (GCD) was long behind me.

Do you think we will hear more music from her in the future?

I'll be sure to pass your inquiry on to the customer service desk at LEP-E Alternatives™ for a comprehensive answer (within 10 - 12 business days[!])

Where do you think she is right now? What do you think she is doing at this very moment?

I don't know where exactly but I'd bet a horses handful she's sitting on a bench in one of Vancouver's fabulous public parks. I know she's been working on a groundbreaking cosmogony and that takes up most of her time so she's likely busy piecing that together. From what I understand she posits that the universe that we inhabit now is hollow, the only real part of the universe is the outer most boundary, the skin. By her logic, it is self evident in the concept of a universe that the only thing that could be said to truly exist is the boundary that separates it from the non-universe. But Linda's cosmogony also suggests that the boundaries of the universe are porous, open to exchange with the non-universe, like any functioning membrane must be. And that's why the universe is expanding, because non-universe is always sneaking in. THIS IS GREAT NEWS, because so much for entropy, the universe is an open system. And anyway here we are, probably just off shoot pieces of non-universe trying to fit in, and I'd guess that's where Linda is too.

#linda fox #leopards break into my heart #lone hand #interview #new music

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tinymixtapes · 7 years

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Music Review: Ted Leo - The Hanged Man

Ted Leo The Hanged Man [SuperEgo; 2017] Rating: 3.5/5 One day dressing for the rock show later that night, I was dancing in the bathroom. I caught out of the corner of my eye a little of what I looked like and I thought, why mirrors? Yes sure and duh: of course mirrors. We spend so much time looking off we need something to reflect on. Check me out! Does this shirt make me look like me? Too many buttons, unbutton a button. Loosen the sleeves, okay that’s, oy. That’s not, okay, should probably start running everyday. Face is? Hair is? Hair stupid, shirt okay, A- pattern, B fit. Ah jeez jeeps is there time to get a run in right now? Mirrors make us scrunch up sometimes, but they’re there to offer our eyes a chance. World orientation means knowing what we look like in scope of other stuff, how I am and will be looks different from how I was. We’ll shift and sift in light of our selves, those most precious products of humanity. We dance and sing, “You’re like me/ You’re like me;” mirrors help us check in on us. The occasion and severity of the scrutiny varies, but we keep the mirror up and around because we want to check in our selves sometimes, want to resemble what we’ve seen in dreams and imagined being. We want to be the images that keep us engaging in the stuff outside of the mirror frame. We want to be the images we strive to exist as; we want to assert change over what repulses us. And undressing, it’s an undress that keep us looking. A moon can dictate tides and moods, but it’s a moon’s mirrorness that keeps us looking up. That’s our light we’re striving toward. Reflection is something like real-time legacy. We have mirrors because we are not mirrors. We give off light. We are brilliant and unstable things, and we veer. But mirrors swing and sway. All that glitters is not what’s always given off. Moons unstick in their phases. Reflections wobble. Perspective splays. “Moonlight shattered on this stretch of sea/ How many times I’ve stood here mapping things out differently.” The line that separates moons and mirrors and punk music is a pretty fine thing, probably something that can only be articulated by the writer of reviews and not punk music. But from the first dropped-me chords of The Hanged Man opener “Moon Out of Phase,” a certain self-investigation of orbiting meteors and extended metaphor fits. Metaphors are complicated proposals for resolving simple problems. Metaphors are like tarot and punk music, simple stuff folded and refolded until it looks clear. “Moon Out of Phase” is a simple composition, a couple retreaded clomps of guitar under Ted Leo’s voice. Somewhere near the end, sleigh bells hint at an expanded sound, but the precedent for The Hanged Man is set in brutal duet, guitar and voice. Something has set the moon off kilter. The reflection doesn’t align with what the eyes want; “The creeping and the menace grows.” Leo harmonizes with refractions of himself, only to land on the admission “This world is not for you.” It’s downright despair. The Hanged Man is a story in twos, an ache’s echo and a mirror for the moon’s motion. Punk music, the gospelled stuff that springs from Leo’s guitar and voice, reflects the world it exists in while presenting opportunities for disruption and locomotion. The Hanged Man absorbs the worries of a world (Leo’s and ours) and reflects on it, rolling with the inconsistencies and fractures to make something better. If you see the moon’s off and odd movements, sing something that moves yourself from the past to the next. “Used to Believe” sees past philosophies and innocences (“I used to believe in something/ Like a magical chemical spark”) not as something to be reclaimed or mourned, but rather as something to see and move from. Mirrors and punk music reflect what is, but both encourage moving out into the world, the chorus of Leos crossing each other chiming “down, down down down down” seeing something to despair but refusing to wallow. “Can’t Go Back” is more nostalgia-rejection, the sound of processing and vowing to move forward. “We held our fortunes in a paper cup/ How many drops drip-dripped away until it dried up/ But I can’t go back,” Leo sings over purposefully retro’d Staxy brass (in that voice like traffic clearing and throwing a baseball — Ted Leo is a very very good singer). Even genre-nostalgia is unsettled. “Can’t Go Back” is a good sound from a past but: can’t go back. And when next song “The Future (Is Learning To Wait Around For Things You Didn’t Know You Wanted to Wait For)” bangs out of the gates, all fuzz box and time barometer, it rings that The Hanged Man is about a lot of things but cored with a couple rotten things from the past. Ted Leo caught himself in the mirror and looked up scared. You can read the features where he circles and unwinds these things, but they’re here in the wax too, in the saxophone close to “Run to the City” that almost runs off the rails and calls the party early. In interview and on record, Leo relays a life lived in the scope of other lives, with an attention to the small things that break and make us. What motivates The Hanged Man toward greatness is both this attention and Leo’s refusal to retreat, either into an imagined past or a delusional future. The world-obliterated “Lonsdale Avenue,” “Pierced with ever pixel/ Shame, but that’s the game/ Left over and out here/ I’m not asleep again” sees just how much loss can strip our bodies of and maintains, “But this man who’d gladly move a million mountains/ Must get outside and shovel snow.” I don’t know what it’s like to suffer a late-term miscarriage (“We called her many things, and those she’ll remain”). I don’t know what the pieces look like (“Moonlight shattered on this stretch of sea/ How many times I stood here mapping how it shattered me”) or what it’s like to pick them up (“We had a daughter and she died, in 2129/ And I’m barely alive”). But The Hanged Man, reflected light from a life I am not, shares despairs and then demands, by its existence and shouts, steps forward away from our traumas. The song clanged here is the punk stuff that lets you see the reflection of other humans. That The Hanged Man is willing to elevate past traumas in planetary terms presents a way forward past mourning. Watching from outer space as a world goes down, like in the lunar choir chorus of “Let’s Stay on the Moon,” isn’t a fixed solution to loss or abuse or hate. Mirrors and moons, useful as reflectors and maps, will not heal your heart. But reconciliation, by terms meditative (“Gray Havens”) and exacting (“You’re Like Me”), optimistic (“Make Me Feel Loved”) and unspooled (“Lonsdale Avenue”), is a way toward hope. The Hanged Man is hopeful punk, the sound of a life reflecting and resolving. It hums with a love of noise and a protonic refusal to despair, “the assurances of a still-flickering hope.” En route to something like calm, the piece noisily rejects venues of the past (career-arc mythologies of thens, used to’s and innocences of last year’s sounds) and forces its looker and maker to stab new sounds at some of the same traumas. It shows me how I haven’t hurt yet. It helps me think I might get past it. The Hanged Man encourages dancing and crying, the rock show, and the embrace of a lover. Heart and hurt, we step on. When you ask your mirror, why are you here? Being hopeful, where does it come from? it will sing back in that clarion tenor, lilt a little and then breathe: “I think about it anew every time I get asked that. I come up with the same answer: just, literally, from writing those songs.” http://j.mp/2iifQGd

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