#sooooo i did this. since i think he wouldnt be so bothered by it

[merwynsartblog]

he has a high spice tolerance yall

[zmayadw]

Evening to all :)

Time for the next part :)

Have a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 10

I woke up with a terrible taste in my mouth. I had no clue what time was it, but the sun was out already, making me squint my eyes. I got in sitting position slowly, banging in my head intensifing with every move i made. Ugh, i'm never drinking again, i scolded myself. Squinting, I focused on the little alarm clock that was on the night stand. 10.34. Whoa, i cant remember the last time i slept this long. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I filled the glass with wather, rinsing my mouth a few times before gulping down two glasses. My stomach growled at it, i just hoped not to throw up .Taking a shower would be a wise thing to do, so i just threw the clothes i had off and entered the shower. The warm water felt good, i just let it pour over me for a while. I wrapped myself in the towel taking some painkillers for the headache. Getting back to the room, i dressed up, and sat on the bed. I felt a bit better, but still not enough. Coffee, i tought, thats what i need now. I got up, going for the purse i threw on the floor when i got in, searching for my phone. Shit, i cursed, it wsnt there. I checked every pocket, even Jake's hoodie, but my phone was nowhere to be found. Crap, i probably left it at a the Aurora last night, when Jessy and me wer taking pictures. Or at lest i hoped so. Well, i was going for coffee, so i could stop at the Aurora eitherway. I grabbed my backpack with drawing stuff. Who knows, i might be up for some drawing, no matter I still felt woozy from last night drinking. I putted my sneakers on, grabed my stuff and car keys. Walking wasnt an option this time, i wasnt feeling well enough for it.

When i parked my car infront of the Aurora, I saw Dan's car was still there. I smiled as i left the car, guess i wasnt the only one sleeping late today. I hoped Phil was there already, and my phone too. I entered the Aurora, relieved at the sight of Phil behind the bar. I was washed with the smell of coffee, and as i neared the bar, I pleadingly said to him, sitting on the stool „Please, please, please, tell me i'm not wrong and that is coffee i can smell.“ Phil turned arround , not noticing me when i entered. He grinned at me „You are most definitly right! Would you like some?“ „Yes, pretty please.“ I said, as i putted my hand on the bar, and leaned my head on it as on a pillow. Phil chuckled at me „Want any sugar with it? Or milk?“ „Yes, please.“ I replied, and he vanished through the storage doors. He returned with a big cup of coffe putting it infront of me. I rised my head, took the cup, taking a deep breath of its smell, before taking a big sip of it. „Thanks, Phill, you're my saviour:“ i smiled at him as i settled it back on the bar. „Here to help.“ He said, winking. „Rough night?“ he asked teasingly. „Oh, i dont know how you can be so cheerful.“ I started „I feel like a truck hit me lastnight.“ He laughed „Practice to perfection.“ „I think i would need years of practice to be even close to that kind of perfection!“ i said, making a skeptical face. He smiled at me „So, to what do i owe the pleasure?“ he asked. „Dont get me wrong, im glad to see you“ he said, that devilish spark in his eyes again „But i doubt you came just to see me.“ „You caught me.“ I said, even tho it was nice seeing him. „I was hoping that i might have left my phone here yesterday.“ He shook his head at me, crouching down searchin for a few seconds under the bar, giving me my phone as he got up. „Better be carefull next time, good thing i noticed it as you left.“ „Yay, thanks Phil, again.“ I told him, giving him a big smile. „I owe you big time! Both for the phone, and coffee.“ His phone rang then „Sorry business calling. Be right back“ he said, answering his phone and going through the storage door. I checked my phone with him gone, finding out few missed calls and messages from Jessy. She was worried i havent answered her jet, so i decided to call her while waiting for Phil. The tone barely sugested it rang when Jessy's voice boomed from the other side. „Finaly! Do you know how worried i have been? Are you allright? Where wer you? Why didnt you answer me before?“ It made me smile a bit, her worrying for me like that was so sweet. „Im sooooo sorry Jessy“ i said pleadingly „I left my phone at Aurora last night, i just got here to get it.“ Phil returned at that point, and i mouthed to him 'Jessy's' name, indicating who i was talking to. Her voice boomed again, and i moved my phone a bit from my ear, wich made Phil laugh. „Ofcourse you did! Its no wonder after all the whiskey you had! Dan is still sleeping like a log! You two really had it last night!“ „Aww, Dont be cross, Jessy.“ I started pleadingly again „I promise next time we wont over do it.“ Phil was grining at me now, and i stuck my toung at him, trying to calm Jessy down. „C'mon, you cant tell me you didnt have some fun yesterday.“ I started „I have some pictures on my phone as a proof of it.“ Phil threw his thumb up, showing me i said a good thing, and i grined at him. „Alright, i admit last night wasnt all that bad.“ Jessy started, sounding calmer now „But you're still not off the hook completly.“ „Thanks, Jessy“ i started, grining as a sign of victory to Phil. „You can scold me some more at lunch, if the deal for it still stands.“  „Ofcourse!“ Jessy cined cheerfuly from the other side „Dan will be a sleep for God knows how long, and im already bored here.“ I quickly moved my phone from the ear checking the time. „Its 12.20 now, when do you want us to meet?“. „I'll meet you around 14 at the Aurora. I doubt Phil will mind you hanging there with him till then.“ She replied, teasing me. „Somehow i think you're right.“ I said, looking at Phil with a devilysh smile. „Cya later, Jessy.“ I sadi, lovering my phone. Phil looked at me,a bit confused „Wat was that about?“ „Oh, just Jessy being Jessy.“ I told him, grining. „Fine, fine, be all mysterious.“ He teased me. „Awww, c'mon, you wouldnt find me so interesting if i was an open book.“ I told him, smiling sheepeshly. He looked at me, with that intensifing look again, making me feel heat spreading through my body „You're not wrong about that.“ Crap, what are you doing again, Maya, i scolded myself. Phil was definatly into me, and i was toying with him like this. It really wasnt my intention, i didnt want him to get the wrong impression about anything. But it felt so easy for me, talking to Phil, compared to Jake. Why does all have to be so tough and complicated with him? It feels like walking on egg shells every time im with him: dont do this, dont say that. Shit, it shouldnt be that way, should it? Was i really that much into Jake? Blah, i dont know anything anymore. I wish he would be more open with me, it would make things so much easier. I was lost in my toughts when Phil finaly snaped me back to reality „Maya? You allright?“ I looked at him, shaking my head,  to clear it from all the 'Jake' toughts. „Yeah, sorry.“ I started „Guess the coffee didnt kick in properly yet.“ Phil looked at me, and i could see he didnt really belive what i told him, but decided not to take the matter any further „If you say so.“ Was all he said. I smiled shyly at him. „Do you mind if i just hang here for an hour or so, before metting with Jessy? I dont feel up to driving back to motel, and the coffee isnt bad here either.“ I tried, smiling, waving my empty cup at him. Phil looked at me, rising one of his eyebrows, and smiled devilishly „How could i say no to a beautifull woman?“ He took my cup, winked at me vanishing through the storage doors. I could feel my cheeks flushing again, and my heart beating faster. Shit, shit, shit..

When Phil came back with another full cup of coffee i asked if its ok if I sit at one of the booths, to wich he said  fine, since he did have some work to be done. I took my stuff and coffee setteling at the booth. I had a bit over an hour before metting with Jessy, i hoped some inspiration for work might come to me. I took my stuff out of the backpack, took my sneakers off, sitting with my feet up on the booths perch. I liked drawing like that. Leaning my drawing pad on my knees i tried to focus on my work, but my toughts just kept wondering off.  I tought about Phil, sneaking glances towards the bar. He was good looking, always nice to me, even tho everyone warned me that he was a 'no good' considering women. He never showed any sign of it towards me. He was easygoing, i enjoyed his company, we definatly clicked. Then there is Jake. I was definatly drawn to him, cant deny that. When im near him, it feels like when a moth is drawn towards fire. Cant fight it, its driving me crazy. But nothing with him is easy. Its like taking one step forward, then not one, or even two, but ten steps back. Its so frustrating. And with all that had happened, i feel like all the progres we had was completly gone. My head was still too woozy for thinking of stuff like this. I setteled my drawing stuff down, taking my coffee, leaning back in the booth. Maybe Jessy would have some advice fore me. Two heads are smarter then one, or so they say. But i should definatly talk to Phil, at least try to explain things to him. I dont want him thinking im giving him some false hope here. As if he could sense my toughts, he turned around, took his coffee and walked towards me. „Mind if i join you?“ he asked, and i smiled „Ofcourse i dont. I guess my inspiration is still sleeping, so no work to be done at the moment.“ He grined „Thats good for me. I can have the pleasure of your company for some more then.“ I chuckled at that, siping some more of the coffee. But i tought again about talking with him about everything.  My face must have gotten some serious expression, 'couse Phil looked at me a bit serious, before asking „Whats bothering you, Maya? I have a feeling you want to talk to me about something.“ I looked at him, those deep eyes of his gazing intensly at me, trying to dig up my toughts. „I do.“ I admitted after a moment „But to be hones, i dont know how to start .“ „Well, just do your best.“ He said, and i started to get the feeling of a knot at my stomach again. „Allright.“ I said, but the words didnt come easy after that. „I like you, Phill.“ I said finaly after a moment of silence. He chuckled „Ok, thats a good start.“ „Ah, but that was the easy part.“ I started „Now comes the tricky one.“ I could notice him tensing a bit, like he knew where this might lead to. „Ok, go on then.“ He said. „I enjoy your company, talking to you, its so easygoing. I feel we clicked, that theres some 'spark' between us, and i know you noticed the same.“  „You're right about that.“ He replied. „But..“ i started, and Phil interupted me, sighing „Ahh, there it is, the famous 'but' part.“ „Please, Phil, just let me say what i have, then you can hate me.“ He looked at me, his face getting a soft touch „I couldnt hate you, Maya.“ „Dont say it untill im not done talking.“ I said, a bit sadness creeping to my voice. „Alright. Please, continue.“ „Ok. As i started earlier,i like you, but i dont want to get your hopes up.“ I settled my coffe on the table, my hands fidgeting with the cup. Why was this so hard? „Shit, Phil, im a complete mess at the moment.“ I started „I myself dont know what i want, and its tearing me up inside. There is someone, and i dont know where I stand with him. And i dont want to start something new, if im not a 100% sure that its the right thing, that its something i really want. With no loose ends catching up on me.“ I looked up at Phil, him still not taking his eyes off me. „Am i making any sense to you here?“ i asked, lovering my head. I really didnt want to have this conversation, but that was me being honest. All of a sudden, i could feel Phil's hand covering mine, and i looked back up at him. He still had that softness written all over his face. „I appriciate your honesty, Maya.“ He started „Now let me be honest also.“ „Ofcourse“ i said „I expect nothing less.“ „Good.“ He looked at me more serious now. „You know i like you, you said it yourself. I dont know why, but i felt drawn to you the moment i saw you. Theres something in you that makes a man bedazled by you, i cant explain it differently.“ He paused for a moment before continuing. „And i get it, you dont want to get into something half hearted. And i applaud you for that. Because, if anything was to happen between us, i wouldnt want it that way either.“ He looked at me now, his gaze intensifing again, and i started to feel that heat again. „If it was to happen“ he continued „I would prefere if you wer in it with every inch of your body and soul.“ I was mesmerized by his words. He was so open with me, the words came so easy to him. Why cant it be like this with Jake. „Allrighty, that was pretty honest there.“ I said finaly, making an aqward smile. „You wanted me to be honest.“ He said, adding „And just so you know, im not going to make it easy for you.“ He looked at me now, with that devilish spark in his eyes again. I looked at him puzzled „What do you mean by it?“ He grined at me „Its like this: i will continue to act like i did so far, and you can do the same, cause, lets face it, we both like it.“ His grin widened, and i smiled back at him. „Good, you get me. But, until i get a confirmation from you about freely taking it a step further, i will do whatever i can to maybe, just maybe, help you feel a bit less messy and steer thigs in my favore.“ „And what if it wont end as you hope it would? Can you be ok with just being my friend?“ i asked him. He looked at me for a moment, before answering. „Honestly“ he started“i cant say i wouldnt be dissapointed, a little hearth broken probably, but i would respect your choice. And yes, Maya, if that would be so, i would gladly be just your friend.“ “Thanks, Phil, i appriciate all you said.“ I told him „I was kinda affraid of having this conversation with you.“ „You, affraid? I cant belive that“ he said, teasingly „Belive me, i was scared as hell.“ I said, adding to it „But im glad we had it. I didnt want it to become aqward between us at some point.“ „Not gonna happen.“ He said, winking at me. I smiled „Shit, you know, even thou i had enough yesterday, i could actualy use a drink right now.“ Phil lughed so hard „Awww, you really did get scared. We are in a bar afterall, you just say the words and ill bring you that drink.“ He said, looking at me with one raised eyebrow. „Only if you join me“ i said, grining at him „ And if you dont tell Jessy about it.“ He got up from the booth, smiling and winking before he left for the bar „Deal!“

[violetnotez]

HC: BNHA Boys x Aizawa’s Daughter! Reader

Anonymous: Hello, Can I request headcanon for Todoroki, Bakugou and Midoriya who is dating Aizawa's daughter? She is in class 1-A but has a Quirk different from his

Hello anon! Im super sorry but I only did Shoto and Bakugo because of how long I made them- I hope you dont mind!

*Important Note: kinda backstory-ish so the HC’s make sense-basically y/n is adopted by Aisawa from a young age and she ironically has a quirk that intensifies other quirks

Alrightie thats all I wanted to add- hope you enjoy!

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SHOUTO

Aizawa totally saw that you two liked each other- you were his daughter, like of course he sees this!

Whenever Shouto would talk to you, your face would become a soft shade of pink and your nervousness would come out- you’d stumble over words, bite your lip, brush your hair behind you ears- the works

Shouto as well- it wasn’t as obvious, but he definitely acted different towards you

One time when Shoto was having a difficult time learning how to get out of zip ties (a strange little side lesson by Midnight- she wanted to show the class how to get out of a kidnapping situation in which Kaminari kept yelling out “this is sooooo kinky!” 

Jirou of course slapped him, which made Aizawa stifle a laugh)

Since you had always been around heroes most of your life, you were taught well in combat and self defense skills

Aizawa watched interested as you helped Todoroki, his face becoming tinted in red and his tone softer

After you had left to do your own assignment, Aizawa had caught Shoto just staring down at his hands in amazement as if he couldn’t believe what just happened

That’s when Aizawa knew you two liked each other

He really was okay with it though-most others would have thought the hero would be over the top protective, but with Shoto-he was a good kid, kinda quiet, had a darker past than most his age but-Aizawa knew Todoroki would never intentionally hurt you.

It took a few long,grueling months for Shoto to finally ask you out, and when he did, Aizawa could only feel relieved-because Jesus Christ he’d been just waiting for you two to just start dating already!

The only thing he was worried about was-well- Shoto’s father

He knew of Endeavor, never personally, just because of the fact that Aizawa never cared for the hero

He saw him as arrogant, rude, and blinded by his own personal agenda- he also knew of Shoto’s distatse for his father, which he knew had to be for a good reason

Shoto and Aisawa had both warned you of his father, with Shoto revealing his dark childhood to you and Aizawa warning you to not cross Endeavor’s path because of his entitled nature

You and Todoroki had no intention of telling his father of your relationship, until the day when you had mistakenly visited Todoroki’s house when his father was home

Was EXTREMELY awkward

Endeavor was not kind to you- in fact he was cold and unforgiving in what he said around you

Endeavor really was flabbergasted- how could his son be wasting his time over some girl? He was also disappointed in his choice- Endeavor found your quirk to be mediocre, since he had noticed you at the Sport’s Festival. He noted that your quirk was essentially only useful to others, nothing flashy about it at all- what a waste

Why couldn't Shoto find someone with more power to add to his family’s already strong gene pool?.

 Yes, he knew you were Aizawa’s daughter- but not even of blood- and even if you were, he wouldnt accept you two going out together

He also went on to say that Shoto should be focusing on his training, not on some little crush

 basically stated you weren't good enough for his family or son

Shoto quickly left with you, trying to reassure as much as possible that what his old man said was not true, and that he loved you no matter what

Did you kinda cry? Yes. And did Todoroki and Aizawa wanna kick Endeavor’s ass? Also a yes

You and Todoroki continued to go out with Aizawa backing you two up, even if Shoto got into a few arguments over you with his father

One day Aizawa was supervising a team building exercise, where it was pairs of two against two. You and Shoto were on one side, while Bakugo and Deku were on the other.

Endeavor had chosen to come to UA  that day to see how his son was improving, looking down at disdain that he was still courting you

Aizawa was not particularly happy having to deal with Endeavor- he knew he was judging your every move, every punch you landed, every mistake you made

You were very good at hand to hand combat though, even without a flashy quirk- as Bakugo and Shoto were sparring, you were taking Izuku head on, making him sweat a little, even with his own quirk against yours.

Endeavor still gave you the biggest dirty look ever

Aiszawa about to throw hands ngl

Then something happened- Izuku was able to finally land a hit on you, using his quirk to launch you back a few feet. You tumbled into the dirt, Todoroki running to see if you were okay.

“What is he doing?!” Endeavor grunted out in frustration, “Why is he-”

You strangely put out your hand, and Todoroki touched it. Endeavor was furious, seeing this as some form of weakness-

Todoroki then turned around, his quirk improving ten fold. Endeavor had never seen anything like it- Shoto had made an ice blast, larger than anyone he had ever seen- even from the Sports Festival.

It was-well- it was even better than his own quirk

 Aizawa looked at Endeavor’s clearly shocked face with a smug expression.

Hell yeah this scum bag now knows his daughter is freaking awesome

But then Endeavor’s mind started to race- clearly your quirk had some merit. If you and Shoto could produce a child with that much power on its own, hell, his family line would forever be the #1 hero!

He grinned at the thought, turning to Aizawa, a little too cheerful

“That’s your daughter, uh-” he searched for your name, “y/n, correct-”

“Dont even start,” Aisawa cut him off, making Endeavor pissed as he walked down to the training grounds quietly to go check up on you.

-----------------------------

BAKUGO

Bakugo at first was very intimidated by you and was kind of an ass towards you

He knew you had a really useful quirk and was kinda scared of that

He also was so terrfied because he was starting to get the first symptoms of a crush and was too stupid to even admit to it

Classic “I like you so Im going to be mean to you” situation

Wouldn constantly say you only got into UA because of your Dad’s reputation as a Pro Hero/ Teacher

Aizawa would hear about this and would be so mortified- he was worried this would happen when going to UA, and he was extremely angry at Bakugou

But he felt that if he intervened, it would make the situation worse and confirm the rude things Bakugo was saying

You also reassured him that you were okay (even though the rude comments hurt you slightly) but you’d get over it

It just made you upset that Bakugo didnt even want to know you- you thought he was kinda cute even though he could be rude

I fully believe Aizawa (in times of crisis) would consult Midnight and Present Mic for parental advice because its gotta be tough raising a child on your own

Midnight offered to put you and Bakugo together on the next training exercise, so Bakugo would be forced to talk to you and realize you weren't so bad

AIsawa thought about it long and hard and finally agreed- he was scared Bakugo would go and be a jerk to you, but he knew you were capable of dealing with his antics

When Midnight read off the pairings that day, you were both mortified- you because you would have to be stuck with the hot head that hated your guts, while Katsuki was freaking out inside

He was going to act like an idiot around you- what the hell was Midnight thinking?!

Once you two got in the mock city set up for the training exercise, you couldn't even say a word to each other

‘All Bakugo grunted out was, “Just stay out of my way.” and trudged off

“You idiot!” you called out, “we have to work together or we fail-”

Just then, the exercise started and a giant training robot was coming after you- Bakugo feebly tried to blast it, but his flames were too short to even reach the monster

‘Let me help!” you called out, reaching for his hands- you quirk only worked if you could touch the person.

He shrugged off your advances- Jesus Christ if you saw he was getting flustered-

“Hell no!” he yelled out in panic, “Im not letting a little prick like you-”

You grabbed his face between your hands, letting your Quirk transfer to him and making his cheeks bright red

You had never even seen Bakugo so speechless- he looked like a deer in headlights

“Use your quirk!” you yelled out, hiding behind him- you didnt know how powerful his quirk would become, but with experience, you knew it was about to become intense

He shook his head, trying to clear himself of the feeling of your skin on his- it was intoxicating, even though it was only for a few seconds- and why was your presence so irritatingly calming and distracting at the same damn time?! 

His heart was beating so fast, feeling your frame hiding behind him

He smirked, feeling you quirk course through is veins, and raised his arm to shoot a blast of fire at the machine

Instantly, a gigantic explosion of flames leaped out of his hands, shocking him

He instantly grounded his feet, trying to keep up with the power coming out of his hands

The blast went farther than anything he had ever produced (even his signature AP shot), licking up the side of the machine and burning it to a crisp

He looked at his hands and back at you, his heart thumping as you grabbed his shoulders in happiness and wrapping him into an impulsive hug

“We did it Bakugou!” you yelled out cheerfully

He just couldn't stop staring- why did you look so goddamn pretty?

“....Thanks...I guess your quirk is good enough for UA....”  he mumbled out, looking away from you as he said it

You stared at him in shock- did he just- compliment you?

You two instantly won the training exercise, and after that, Bakugo neve bothered you- in fact he kinda just ignored you, like you didnt even exist

He just still couldnt get over the fact that you had touched him, and how he felt when you touched you, seeing those pretty eyes of yours stare into his-

One day Kirihsima caught Bakugo staring at you as you sparred with Izuku, obvious fury in his eyes

“You okay man?” he asked, sitting next to Bakugo

All he did was grunt as the obvious blush grew 

Kirishima would not STOP bothering him to ask you out after that- it was so annoying to him

“Can you shut up? I dont like her?” slowly turned into “Okay you ass I get it I need to ask her out!”

You were always the last to leave class, since you always talk to your dad before you go off to lunch

And Bakugo took note of this

You had thought that the hallway was completely empty, only to see Bakugo resting against  a locker, his arms folded and his head slumped down

“Hey Bakugo!” you greeted kindly, a little nervous- you really didnt know where you two stood as far as relationships go- were you enemies, rivals, acquittances, friends? 

With Bakugo, who the hell knew.

 “Mr. Aisawa is in classroom if you needed help with something, sorry I took so long-”

“I actually-” he gulped slightly, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “I wanted to talk to you.”

Your heart started to pick up in speed- what was this all about?

“Uh, sure, what is it?” you asked politely, walking closer to him. You grabbed onto your backpack strap, gripping hard- you felt like you could float away at any moment, your nerves making your body go haywire.

“I know Ive been an ass,” he started, “and I havent talked to you much, but would you- maybe-uh...uhm..shit!” he cursed as he fumbled on his words, his cheeks a cherry red

You giggled, your face now too hitting up- was this really happening? Was he really going to ask you out?

‘Are you trying to ask me-” you started, but Bakugo instantly cut you off

“Shut up baka I was going to say it!”

“Say what, exactly?” Right at perfect time, Aizawa walked by, standing in front of your two blushing faces, asking in a colder tone than usual.

Bakugo instantly cursed everything in existence- why the hell did his teacher, your dad, show up right now?!

You two both stared at him, not knowing what to do- 

Aizawa was practically staring daggers into Bakugo- fear riddled in Aizawa’s stomach. Bakugo, the most arrogant boy in his class, liked you? He say you as his sweet, innocent little girl- would this hot head destroy that image of you? And a boy who was so cruel to you- you looked ready to even say yes to him after everything he called you!

He had vaguely remembered having a conversation like this with Midnight, in which she tried to explain that most boys who had crushes would react to them with anger in which to cover up their true feelings

To be honest, Aizawa thought it was a boat full of crap until now- now he realized this was why Bakugo had terrorized you so much- but he couldn't get over the fact of how rude he was to you so many weeks back

“Bakugo, I suggest you go to lunch before I send you to the principal’s office for using language like that on school grounds- especially towards my daughter,” he stated cruelly, his eyes cold and menacing. 

Bakugo stared at him, debating whether to yell something back at him- but thinking better of it, he merely just sulked, it taking everything in him to keep his mouth shut.

“Come, y/n, I’ll pick you up something up to eat from the teacher’s lounge,” Aisawa commanded softly to you, just wanting you to stay away from Bakugo for as long as possible.

As you were walking behind Aisawa, you caught a look of Bakugo sulking, looking absolutely defeated

Your heart broke for your crush, and right as your eyes met, you turned around, walking backwards slightly to mouth him a quick ‘Yes” and a smile, watching as a small grin form on Bakugo’s red cheeks

Yeah, your dad did not agree about it at first, but after he realized Bakugo loved you as much as he did and was ready to protect you with his whole life, Aisawa’s walls did melt - slightly

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(RULES  | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

[thefudge]

PLEASE!!! I need all your feelings on the vending machine scene!! I am such a mess!!

GOOOORL

so, im gonna have to extrapolate and talk about ALL their scenes cuz !!!! im too extra!!!! here we go: 

- what struck me and surprised me about the vending machine scene and their interactions in general was this weird, poignant innocence?? 

- let me explain. there was sexual tension and flirtation galore in the “snack attack” scene but!!!! there was also the sense of being young and wide-eyed?? like they’re both very careful and very reckless with their feelings. u got the same vibe with the fred/alice scene, where they unburden themselves and become guileless and candid.

-in this sense, FP stops being just the “stud” and “ladies’ man” and turns into a regular kid around hermione, a regular kid who gets excited, who feels insecure, who wants to belong. there was a glimmer from both of them that they were just kids for a few seconds, just two kids enjoying each other. (and im sorry to fp/alice folks, but their scenes held NO emotional intimacy, it was just sexy fun times. i feel like they only got to connect emotionally as adults which im happy about)

- the scene(s) also gave me the sense of a neat little friendship, this connection between two different ppl who just really dig each other because they have an understanding, a commonality; both hermione and FP are expected to follow certain paths in their lives and it’s heart-breaking that they both fail at their chance at independence. but when they’re together, or when they high-five like dorks, or when they spit and shake hands (and i’ll talk about this moment later), they are free, they’re just two kids. i mean alice tells betty that this game made them all feel like for a few hours they could be different ppl. and this was so apparent for fp/hermione. 

- but hoooo boyyyy, the sexual tension and chemistry, they definitely layered the thing. of course we’re all haunted by FP’s “i’ve been thinking of asking you something” because UMMM??? this was not part of the game or role-playing. it implies he had been thinking about it for a while, maybe before they properly started playing the game??? IT’S A MYSTERY. and it’s such a tantalizing one. and hermione is pretty much #shook and has to quickly remind him they’re playing a game. but it’s actually a reminder to herself. i mean her claiming she’s definitely not into him is also her trying not to get hurt by - let’s face it - an asshole. this dude’s got a reputation. i mean he “fools around” with alice and doesn’t bother to actually find out if she’s okay. although, when he talks to hermione about it, you see the facade crumbling and him realizing he may have fucked up. in any case, this dude’s not a reliable boyfriend, he’ll break your heart. and what hermione wants is to get out of riverdale and make something of herself, not get bogged down by this dude and his aura. THE IRONY is that FP also wants to be the first to go to college and get out of town too!!! GAH. but yeah, of course hermione is into FP, lots of girls have a crush on him. but she knows she shouldn’t act on it cuz it’ll turn into a huge mess. basically, even the parents knew back then that their chemistry and understanding went too deep and becoming involved would have been too big a risk. 

- but FP had a kind of crush on her??? i have a feeling she was the “unattainable” one for him, because there was no way hermione would’ve been allowed to date him and she was trying to steer clear of him buuuuut he was into her. and the proof is in the pudding yall. cuz ok, remember gladys jones? his future wife and mother of his kids? she’s gonna be played by gina gershon aka 

younger

and older 

YALL 

he married a “hermione” look-alike yall. he went and got hitched and fathered children with hermione 2.0. YALL. he never got over this brief, illuminating spark with hermione. YALL.

 ANYWAY.

- back to these 90s kids. their whole vibe reminded me of that “emotions” song by carly rae jepsen, where she goes “in your fantasy, dream about me, and all that we could do with this emotion” CUZ YES. they are conditioned to think this is all just a fantasy, and the game allows them to think it’s all it will ever be. 

- OK SO, the spit-handshake. it’s EERIE that they only shake hands with each other and no one else. and it’s double eerie that they’re the first to lean forward and grab each other. and the way it’s shot from above, you get a clear view of them. they stand out from the rest. they’re a kindred pair and it’s eerie. my interpretation was that the game offered them a particular escape, the escape into that fantasy i mentioned above

- what also strikes me as interesting is that, since this flashback is mostly from alice’s pov, we don’t know what happened after she left the party, around the time when the principal died. she saw them all getting high and acting out but…i’m curious if the rest of the gang decided to explore each other more (aka, did fp/hermione also secretly make out, just like she made out with reggie’s dad?? i mean it’s v likely)

- and i mention this because during the gang meeting at pop’s when they’re all dressed in funeral black, FP keeps meeting hermione’s eye or staring in her direction with this semi-disgruntled look on his face (bless the gifsets lol). granted, they’re all shaken up, but it’s also the fact that penelope insists they can never talk about this or go to the police, and i wonder if FP is thinking that something he did with hermione should also stay quiet (i don’t think it’s sex, although fred/alice are implied to have had sex sooooo idk, but maybe smth happened). 

- i also totally think FP embracing gang-life all of a sudden isn’t just about the game. it doesn’t make sense, not totally. wouldnt this disturbing event compel him to get out of riverdale faster? a part of me thinks he wanted to become “his own man” and have the kind of “enterprising” vision that hermione was talking about when she mentioned hiram. i mean FP single-handedly becomes king of the serpents and conducts all their business at one point??? ahemmmm. 

- ANYWAY, these two felt to me like distant satellites who never got to reconnect again which is a shaaaame because there’s so much unresolved stuff???? there’s this weird, innocent teenage yearning. like, ok, their moment had sexual tension, but idk how to explain it, it was also very much about being young and vulnerable. 

- and since we’re getting jeronica bonding later this season, maybe the kids are meant to reconnect those  deep bonds (pssst do it writers)

- also yall, i wanna write so many fics 

- also also, IM SO TICKLED that jughead’s mom IS HERMIONE 2.0 AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[pigletsbigmovie]

endgame spoilers i watched it a couple weeks ago here are my complaints lol

nebula and gamora...... were done so dirty lmao....... i am not surprised, i knew this was gonna happen but still.

i mean i really liked nebula in endgame! i love seeing how far she’s come since gotg! she played a larger role in this film than i was expecting and that was nice!

i just disliked the fact that she ends up killing her past self?? it’s such an example of the problem with these big ensemble films... other characters’ arcs take precedence over other characters and so like while killing her past self makes sense for the overall narrative... it doesnt make sense for nebula’s character arc....

or like how since this the last film in which we’ll be seeing all original avengers together, of course it’s them that are prioritized over other characters which means Of Course it’s tony that ultimately defeats thanos even tho really it makes more sense for thanos to be defeated by nebula and gamora and that would’ve been a rly big development in their arcs but guess not! i guess! no can do!

they tried to make the tony vs thanos conflict this Big Dramatic Thing but in reality it is sooooo impersonal....... which makes the conflict and the resolution of that conflict just not very interesting to me...

like imagine if the gotg films were it’s own franchise. no other marvel movies exist, it’s not connected to anything else, it is it’s own thing. then that would mean the gotg franchise has thanos for itself and those films would be leading up to the defeat of thanos which can be fulfilled by nebula and gamora because theyre protagonists of these films. imagine how satisfying that wouldve been!! like gotg has always focused on themes of family! that franchise ending with nebula and gamora defeating their abusive adoptive father with the help of their new found family wouldve been so emotionally impactful and satisfying!

but nnnoooo instead we get tony vs thanos. they don’t even know each other. they’re just that one guy that got in the way of their desires. just an obstacle. that connection is not deep enough to be interesting

ok i went off on a tangent there but back to nebula killing her past self.... Why. we know that given time, the nebula that we see can change for the better! we know bc we see that nebula right there! our nebula! but nooope instead of getting a powerful scene about nebula literally staring her trauma right in the face and how she feels about that now that she’s grown so much...... she just kills her? i mean she tries to appeal to her? but this past nebula isnt given the time she needs to grow! she’s just killed off with 0 compassion......... and it’s such... a sad and unsatisfying development... like there’s a difference between “letting the past die” and killing your past traumatized self.... like if her past self deserves to die and isnt worthy of compassion then that just goes against our nebula’s entire existence? she is the person she is in the present bc she was shown compassion and was allowed to grow! why is this nebula not deserving of that? it’s literally just bc it’s inconvenient to everyone else... thats awful.

then there’s gamora...... like she finds out about this future in which thanos succeeds in his plan and........... she fucking WAITS???? SHE WAITS TO STOP HIM??? IM SORRY BUT WHHHAAAAT THE FUCK??????

like!!! this is literally around the time in our timeline when gamora enacts her plan to ditch thanos and steal the power stone for herself as soon as she finds out that he’s found it’s location in order to stop it from getting into his hands. you’re telling me that gamora waits A LONG SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME after thanos gets all the information he needs to get not just the power stone but ALL THE OTHER INFINITY STONES before attempting to stop him?? YOURE ASKING ME TO BELIEVE THAT?? THAT SHE WOULDNT IMMEDIATELY OR AT LEAST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TRY TO STOP HIM?

like if i remember correctly, by the time she teams up with future nebula to try to stop thanos, he’s already made significant progress in formulating/enacting his plan to get all the infinity stones..... like she doesnt try to sabotage/steal the information re:time travel in order to keep thanos away from the stones??? it doesnt make sense. it does not make sense that she would wait i cant get over it what the fuck alsooo...... while im glad that gamora isn’t just Dead now and that there’s an alive gamora out and about.... it Upsets me deeply that this isnt our gamora lmao. and this isnt just me being unnecessarily sentimental. it just sucks storytelling wise. gamora underwent so much development from the 1st gotg up to infinity war...... and now all of that is all Gone bc new gamora didn’t experience ANY of that! like saying her development was retconned maybe isn’t exactly true bc all of that development still happened and is Canon but... it’s basically all irrelevant now bc! again! this gamora didnt go through any of it! when peter and gamora reunite in infinity war and peter is emotional and gamora is like What the Fuck? like ha ha yeah funny but...... peter and gamora are very important to each other. theyve been through a lot together. whether or not you like their romance is whatever but them telling each other “i love you” in infinity war was such a HUGH DEAL considering everything they went through as individuals..... and now that development is Gone. and it sucks.

rly i felt all the female characters in endgame got the short end of the stick in this movie :/ like sure theres that One Group Shot... and sure it made whiny men cry so that’s great... it’s cool but like it felt so shallow to me! the bare minimum! very few of the women in that scene actually significantly contributed to the plot of endgame.... like it’s So Easy to put all these women in one shot but it’s a whole other thing entirely to give those women actual Roles in the plot. they even fridged another women in the Literal Exact Same Way they did in infinity war! the exact same way! like the 1st time they did it was unnecessary and unjustifiable to me and then they really went and did it again exactly the same! ALRIGHT! COOL I GUESS!

also captain marvel was so hyped up as being the Key to defeating thanos but the film comes out and i dont think she’s even in it for like 5 minutes total screentime. i mean i wont lie. seeing her fight thanos no problem was really really cool and i loved it but then it lasted what? 10 seconds? 

idk it’s just. rly rly easy to give superficial nods to the strength of these women and while, yes, it bothers whiny man babies and isnt harmful... it’s still superficial <:/ like these are just tiny itty bitty baby steps. it’s 2019 please allow female characters to play larger more significant roles in stories..... alluding to their strength is not the same thing as that. hire female writers.

overall i didnt have a Bad Time watching this movie? i actually laughed plenty. all the scenes with scott are wonderful. but overall the movie was just... fine... and left me feeling empty and indifferent like a lot of other mcu films leave me feeling <:) despite it’s faults i enjoyed iw a lot better and so endgame felt anticlimactic to me which is yknow. bad. considering it’s supposed to be a big finale.

sorry to be a big ol No Fun Allowed boy but i mean. the thing that i find so attractive about these films is Character! like ive only rly enjoyed a handful of mcu films but the reason i keep coming to watch the new ones is bc the idea of these characters is so attractive to me! this expansive superhero universe gives a big opportunity to explore a whole bunch of different characters and a whole bunch of different character dynamics. and while for the most part the mcu is good at producing distinct, conceptually interesting characters.... theyre generally not very good at utilizing them and building them up... which is why they leave me feeling empty

[huangfilms]

Prince!Chenle

summary: you’re a member of the royal family and I didn’t know and you ran into me in the village and I completely told you off oh my god || prince!au

(A/N) o-oh my god i’m back from the dead with some prince chenle hope u enjoy (im a lil rusty so leave me some feedback Please! also,,, its not proofread haha aslkdjfhals Please Spare Me)

okay so you live in the village

your mom told you prior that you need to just walk over to your grandma’s house and drop sumn off

and to get to her house, you have to cut into the uhhh

the place where all the store stands are

u know like the market place ish

and so your holding a lot of stuff in your arms and you just walk with your eyes on the floor, watching where you step

and you lift your head up at times so you can see if you’re ever going to bump into someone

guess what 

you rlly done goofed cause you Look Up and right as you do theres this body that collides with yours

and you drop

e v e r y t h i n g

then you just stop and you get rlly pissed off

you look up rly dramatically and slowly and you meet a pair of eyes that actually look a lil scared 

(ugh poor bby chenle im rlly srry)

‘are you serious??? were you just not paying attention??? do you seriously have no coordination on where you’re going??????’

and then you let out a huff and start to pick up your things and place them back in your basket

while you do that you’re just muttering to yourself, ‘GOSH my mom is literally going to whoop me if she finds out i dropped gma’s stuff’

and then you see the guy kneel in front of you and start to help

‘um...... i can do this by myself, you can go ahead and bump into someone else now’

and he just looks at you with this expression you cant read

then he slowly gets up

‘prince chenle, we need you back at the kingdom right away, your mother is asking for you.’

and then you freeze up

p-prince ????? w-what ????????

two plus tw o equals pie ??????

then you start to panic and you hurriedly place the rest of your stuff in the basket and Run

you just Run To Your gma’s house

but you hear a soft ‘wait!’ when you run but you just Cannot

you’re SOOOOO embarrassed and when you arrive at your gma’s house your face is RED

and your ears are all flushed and your gma asks whats wrong

‘i just told off the prince because he bumped into me-’

 in your defense he rlly didn’t look like a prince (wdym chenle ALWAYS looks like a prince smh)

he was wearing .... regular clothes so he Did Not Look Like A Prince

like,,,,,, yeah i dont know LOL

but then all your grandma does is LAUGH AT YOU

whats so funny??? blease omg hes gonna Have My Head omgomgomgsdhkjah

so your grandma just looks at you like you’re overreacting and says, “chenle is a nice boy!! he comes and visits me all the time sweetie.”

and then you freeze up because-

w hat ???? let me ??? move my ??? bang real quick ???

“grandma you what”

“chenle visits me all the time??? very nice boy, you’d like him !!”

and all she does is feed you then kick you outta the house to go home before it gets too dark

when you walk back your just rlly thinking ‘.... that happened huh ...’

AND THEN !!! you hear a lil yell of ‘hey!!’

and when you schnapp your head up you see the prince waving up at you with this Look on his face ???

so you just give him a weird glance and walk slowly towards him

“listen, about earlier i am so sor-”

“it’s fine !! hope you aren’t beating urself over it too much !! have a great evening ...?”

then u tell him ur name yadda yadda then he leaves and then ur like !!! haha what just happened !!!

so you go home and just sleep on it cause you kind of just dont want to think about it HAHA

so the next morning when you wake up your mom says to go to your gma’s again

just cause your gma wants to see you .. which is kind of odd

you only see your grandma during special occasions and when you drop things off

only because school/work has been taking a lot of your time

but just for your gma,,,,, you’ll visit her and forget the responsibilities for now

you walk there with confusion on your face because,,, although your grandma loves you, she doesn’t just spring on you and ask you to come over

so youre just curious about why she wants to see you (there isnt anything wrong with it !!! its just a lil odd)

when you arrive to her cottage you see this car outside and immediately become anxious

youre just treading slowly to the door, and then you raise your hand to knock,,, but youre hesitating A LOT

so time goes by (max. of like .. 5 minutes) and the door swings open to reveal your grandma

she puts you into a bone crushing hug, and then pulls you inside

“thank you for coming dear !! i want you to formally meet someone.”

and then you get SCARED scared

so when you turn to go into the living room, you nearly SCREAM

cause on the couch is mr prince chenle and you feel like one of the guards is going to strangle u with the glare they’re giving you

in your defense, you didnt Know ............ you told off the Prince .......

“chenle sweetie, this is my sweet grandchild i was telling you about !! they did tell me recently that you recently met.”

chenle blushes when he makes eye contact but you rlly dont now why cause You Told Him Off and thats rlly all you can think about HAHA

BUT in reality chenle isnt too bothered by that cause you didn’t immediately treat him like a Prince, you treated him like a regular person (albeit a lil ... Yikes)

and he actually thinks that you are the most gorgeous being in the World !! mayhaps lil prince even has a tiny crush on you !!!

when you Formally Introduce urself to him

ur grandma hits u w that, “sweetie can u help me n chenle garden some things !!”

and then she gestures u both to follow her in her backyard

she tells the guards to make themselves feel at home and leave out like lemonade or sumn

so you and chenle are just super awkward at first cause you dont know how to break the tension

also all you can think about once again: was that u rlly told him off

but then chenle starts to laugh really loudly at a joke your grandma says and then you just-

YOU WANT TO COO !! cause even tho his laugh is Super Loud, you find it endearing that he’s just letting loose like this

he catches you staring tho and he stops and he Blushes Again and you want to !!! squish !! 

who doesnt want to squish chenle he’s literally such an angel and hes so adorable ugh i lov baby

so you both just start talking more and then by the end of the day you guys are just best buddies

you forget hes the prince too

but then u walk in to see the guards and ur all lik e... righ t...

its ok tho !! chenle is a person too !!

and honestly you guys make this a regular thing

you and chenle go to ur gmas house to garden every day or when you guys have the time

and essentially its just you guys pulling out weeds while talking about new and exciting things that happened to you recently

and your grandma just watches you guys get along and her heart is happy

cause chenle sometimes talks to her about him not making friends cause they always use him for his status

and so ur gma knows u arent like that and shes just really happy to see the two of you get along really well

days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months !! and you guys become really really close friends

some feelings develop too or .. whatever ..

but you dont acknowledge them cause youre just a person who lives in the viliage while hes a prince

chenle does though

and hes so shy about it that he blushes everytime you say his name or just smile at him

cause his heart goes !!!!!

he rlly likes you

and u rlly like him but u just dont know !!!

ye wutevr its 2018 and status rlly shouldnt matter but ur just rlly conscious about being judged and stuff

like even if u started to date him would his parents accept you

and then u snap out of ur thoughts cause chenle looks worried and you havent answered his question

haha he asked a question ???

‘you want to hang out with me tomorrow?? thats not gardening?? i-i mean its ok to say no haha i love gardening with you i just wanted to know if y-you wanted to try something new with me? i-i understand if you want to say no-’

‘chenle, sweetheart, breathe,’

and then he Blushes cause oh they just called me sweetheart and he just breathes

then you say you would love to !!! 

and ur gma is just watching the Entire Thing with the guards

with popcorn and tea

and its literally the cutest little exchange ever cause youre both just blushing and red

so when tomorrow comes

chenle meets u at ur gmas house

and so like he holds his hand out for you to take and ur just !! heart into overdrive !!!

and then !!! he takes you to this ice skating rink cause youve mentioned before that you havent been

and he rented out the whole place so people wouldnt be bothering you two

and hes just nervous and so are you but since ur dont know how to skate youre just clinging to him for dear life

and hes such a blushing mess omg

the guards are just cooing at the both of you, some even join you on the ice

and you guys are just cracking jokes and having such a good time

there was a time where one of the guards fell on their ass and u two couldnt stop laughing

then chenle falls but since youre holding onto him you fall down too oops

and so ur just kinda ... laying down on him awkwardly and your guys’ faces are so CLOSE

but then you clear your throat and then you jump off of him

it gets kind of late and the guards are just like, “hate to break this cute and adorable moment, but your momma is calling you to be home prince”

and so chenle just blushes and gets up first, then holds his hand out again to help you up

it makes you sad when he has to leave, but he drops you off at home

when he does, he walks you to your door and then he says goodbye, but before he leaves

you feel a little bold and you kiss him on the cheek !!! so cute !!! cause then hes just RED ! and hes so flustured and he just waves bye and when he gets into his car

he just clutches his chest and has this big smile on his face and hes just so in awe

and the guards are teasing him but he really Does Not Care cause you just did : THAT 

you kissed him on the cheek and hes so !!! about it

but you guys go out more often after this

and sometimes is just to hang out with your gma cause chenle has grown to love her HAHA

its become a thing where you kiss him on the cheek goodbye

wow cute

one day though, hes saying bye and hes looking away while youre about to kiss his cheek

but then he remembers he needs to tell you something

so right as your lips are about to kiss his cheek

his head turns and you two share a lil innocent peck

AND YOURE BOTH BLUSHING WOW

AND THE GUARDS ARE SO !!!! 

o-ohmy gosh im so kilig you guys

CHENLE IS SO FLUSTURED THAT HE FORGETS WHAT HE WANTED TO TELL YOU

oh right he was about to CONFESS confess but like

ur flustered too so u rush out a goodbye and you LEAVE

and chenle is just !!!! ok ill tell them tomorrow !!!!

well tomorrow comes

and you dont show up

ur gma tells him that u’ve been exhausted cause of school, theyll probs be back tomorrow

so then he comes back tomorrow

and you arent there again

and this goes on for like a week

and he just Knows ur avoiding him

but like hes so fed up because he has been Waiting for the Right Time to confess to you

and so he goes over to ur house and then knocks

you answer the door and then your eyes grow wide and then u shut the door again

but chenle pushes it open and just “WAIT”

and so you just slowly open the door

“why have you been avoiding me??”

and ur just speechless cause haha avoiding you ?? why would i do that ???

and he gives you This Look 

and then ur all like ... “OKAY !!! so ive been avoiding you .... what about it..”

and he just sighs and hes all serious and ur all !! cause chenle is barely serious alsdkf

“Listen,,, i really like you,”

you pause and you just look at him before grinning

“i really like you too chenle!!”

and he just looks Frustrated cause he thinks you arent getting it

“more than a friend way!!!”

and then you start to smile and ur all like .. “the feeling is mutual bub !”

and now HES pausing cause w-what

m-marty

but then you just hug him tightly and tell him how much you really like him !!!

and he goes !!!! oh my gosh !!!! 

then you guys are just looking at each other and you really do forget that there are other people around you and he kisses you !!! wow !!! 

please spare me ive never had my first kiss before HASKDJFHASD

BUT ANYWHO

you guys are always together now !! and he even lets you meet his parents and they immediately: love you

you basically hang around him a lot and when he says he has to do sum prince duties ur all like ... huh ... i forget ur a prince LMFOAJFH

but everything is good everything is well !!!

youre just content with what you have with chenle even tho u started off a lil rocky

you just !!! like him so much !!! life is good hehe

anway end !!! prince chenle: cutest lil headcannon but chenle is ALREADY a prince !!!

Masterlist

[softie97z]

...

I just got out from the hospital, it seems that they saved me from attempting suicide, i swallowed a million pill to kill myself, i thought hey Zeyad it seems that you are down forever, its been 4 months since you and Sulaf started the fights, you are not getting better, you can't speak to a psychiatrist because that would get her in trouble, if you are going down at least don't bring her with you, i have been lifting sooooo many things but i could never drop a human being that his fait lies in hands, especially you Sulaf.. I tried not to harm you as much as i could, it was possible that i leave alone after you said that, but i can't control it sometimes, i just tried to kill myself just to keep you safe, fuck me, right? Anyways my dad went through troubles to keep the government away from me, cops, and the ministry of interior affairs, and other stuff.. they pushed me so hard to talk, but i protected you, i seem like a maniac and obsessed with you by a wrong way, im not please believe me, i just care for people, and i care for you the most, i have been through hell the last few days, and i am sure i will do it again unless i stop caring for you, which is impossible, i never talked dirty behind your back, i never thought of harming you, i always respected you, i do that to all people, but you gave me things i could never turn my back on, i had to accept you, i didnt want to believe because i knew this shit will happen to me, i am a mess and wrecked and shattered like glass, i know this will never end, because 4 months passed and you seem like loving someone else already and i am not progressing toward anything i am fighting it like hell i am doing my best, am i weak? Or this is hard as fuck? I watched a lot of movies, tv series's, met new people, started new hobbies, i have been good with my family, played new games, i started to work out, read books, and nothing seem to help me it just get worse and worse and worse until i did what i just did, it was horrible, it was hard it was painful it was something i know not everyone could bear with it, not everyone will fake a smile everyday to his family and do his best to keep them happy, i am sure if it was anyone else would fucking hurt his family and give zero fucks, i tried my best not to harm anyone else, and i ended up hurting myself the most, i tried to kill myself, but what hurt the most is, you, i cant go through everything that happened to me because i opened up to you, let my guard down for you, and let you not just inside me but even let you have control my future, i couldnt stop it, i tried my best, i tried not to love you, i tried everything and yet i seem so fucking hopeless, why are doing that? I didnt hurt you i never spoke of a word that insult you, even when i talked to Ali for almost 24 hours i only told words that good to you, and guess what he told me? He said that he will hurt you so bad, he and Sultan are doing that, they always talk bad about you like some basic bitch, and i know you are not like that, i wouldnt let that happen to any girl in this but, especially you who i care the most for, i just wish there was a way you stop falling for Ali, and fall back for me, i didnt do anything that would lead me or you here, i wasn't the one who turned his back suddenly, you told me three different reasons because of that, 1. You are not perfect match for me, but even a stranger could tell we were, 2. You asked to marry me, are you stupid? To think that i was serious about that? Wtf would my family tell me? I am still young, your brothers are not married, 3. You said that i am a weak person, its not like you dont have flaws, even if i was weak we could work on it so easy!! Just talk to me when you have a problem, i know there is no hope for me, especially when Ali told me that you were falling for him, and you lied to me when you told me that you told him he is evil, not he is the one who told you that, i just hope that my family didnt save me, because the first thing i thought of after waking up is you, i worried that they might find out about you, i wish of there was a fucking solution to this, because i did everything, i swear to god i did everything, why did they have to save me?? I can't do it again, i know that, and now i am fucked, for caring... what should i do? I am hopeless rn and i hate the fact the you moved on a long ago, and i am just here fighting by myself, trying not to talk to you because i know that will annoy you and i know i am not lovable not just by you but by everyone!! I want to die.. and i worked on that but... they had to save me, I am sorry i feel like a fucking extra needy, i am sorry to bother you and Aseel i swear i dont want that to happen but what should i do? I did everything, i even tried to love someone else!!! But fuck me nothing is helping me! I wish i die... now my father took away my phone, and i cant go out, you gave so much that i was forced to accept it, i am not crazy wallah and my obsession isnt weird please dont think that of me, i am fucked enough, kill me already... 💔 At least tell me, i know i am not perfect and i know i am not the best and there will always be better than me, but remember the Zeyad you loved, remember the days where we used to talk for hours before we sleep and when we feel tired we dont hang up and who ever tried to do that the other will shhhh him, we just wait to listen to each others breaths while we sleep... the most comforting moment ever... compare the Zeyad you loved, not the one that was tired and had so many stuff to care about, and Ali right now, who seem to make you happier? And more confident and comforted, and more match than the other? I guess i already know the answer since i am the one who is attempting suicide and you are just happy with him... pray for my death to be sooner, that way you will help me... i wish you the best life ever... i am just gonna wait till i get my phone back and my car, i will try to leaving home, but i dont know where to... @magnifique-s

[vipiraz0rr]

Resident Evil 7 Lucas x Reader Lemon

It's been a while since i 'accepted' her gift and started to be family with the bakers. I only did it out of fear first but then i started to acctually think of them as friends. Right now im in the kitchen with moma..."y/n is something bothering you dear?" i lookee at moma and realized that i had zoned out...thinking of one f the bakers....Lucas...there was just something about him that made my heart beat faster..."Oh sorry moma... Just thinking..." i said feeling my cheeks getting warmer... "about what?" she asked. "Is it weird or stupid to like someone of the family?" i asked nervously "why would it be stupid to like your family?" she asked clearly she thought i meant in a friendly way 'like' "no not that kindnof like....like like kind of way.. You know?" she gasped as she realized what i was saying "oh deary......its okay to sometimes feel that way... I mean yiu arent really blood related so its not weird...just suprising...

Time skip

We all sat at the table when the stranger woke up "what...where the hell am I?!" he said nervously and scared. When moma noticed that she offerd him some food "eat it..its good" as soon as she said that Lucas threw his plate at the stranger "he wouldnt know good if he even saw it!" he reached for some more food when sudddenly daddy took his hand and cut it "awww not again!" he yelled. Yes that has happened before... Its daddys way of punishing him... Daddy then walked over to the man and took a little food to his hand and tried to feed him it "eat your dinner" he said. The man spitted the food out of his mouth and thats when moma got angry "Holy shit he's not eating it jack! He's not eating it!" she screamed "shut the hell up!" daddy screamed. Moma stood uo and left the room while daddy was about to kill the man.. But then a the doorbell rang and Lucas left with daddy leaving me,Grandma and the stranger..."please help me.. I have to get my wife back..." i looked at him with sorrow and gulped. " But....ugh...fine. just dont say i let you out..." he sighed in relief as he hugged me.. I froze...shocked that he had done such a thing..."just leave" he nodded and started to walk away...i had cut myself a little to make it llok like he had hurt me and escaped. Daddy came in with Lucas "where is he" daddy said but when he noticed my hurt figure he gasped and went after some of the potion they had... Lucas seemed to be a bit mad.. I wonder why...

Time skip

Lucas had found out...about me helping the man now known as Ethan...I was walking outside when i felt something grab me by the waist...i tried screaming but a hand was on top of my mouth...Lucas's hand... "you only belong to ME not HIM and you need to be punished..." he whispered in my ear. I was blushing...then i elt something heavy on my breast's ( no idea if i spelled that right) He's hands were playing with them...i tried to hold in my moans but alas i failed "L-lucas...." i said. I was suddenly slammed into a wall when he decided to take of my clothes. When he got to my underwear he just tore them off.. He took off his clothes...he...was...huge! How could that ever fit inside me... He slipped his finger inside me and started moving it around "Lucas...mmm.." i moaned uncontrollably "damn you're wet" he whipered he then put another finger in....then three.. I was near but then he stoppedd....i whimpered in protest... He slammed inside "damn you're thight y/n..." he moaned.. Once i was adjusted he started to thrust hard and fast. I was a moaning mess...he usually just grunted and sometimes moaned... "lucas i.." "i know me too" he started to thrust even faster now in a inhuman speed...until we finally both moaned loud and came.... Put me on a bed and cuddled up with me last thing i heard before the darkness consumed me was a faint growl with one word..."MINE"

Sooooo? What did you think?

[iamprish1-blog]

I have always felt defeated in life, lost not knowing my ‘purpose’ or meaning in life, I think this once abandoned space can prove it all. However, since the past weekend, I think a huge part of me has changed, something I can’t put into words has happened in me. 

It was last Friday 23rd of June 2017, when i came home around 12 or 1pm and I saw she posted on instagram that her dad had passed away, i was shocked and found it hard to believe, just a day before that she was thankful for the miracle her dad almost missed death. but that day I was so sad that i cried loool....i cried because i realised a few things, 1: my crush for her was really foolish it was a meaning that is meaningless because there’s nothing i could do to comfort her or anything.. i do not know her, 2: from the text message she shared on instagram i could tell god has taken away a great man/father and its so so so unfair and she really had such a great blessing to have had a father like that! she always said that her family is estranged but she doesnt know its not at all... maybe they didnt always agree with each other but it was still a very beautiful family  3: there’s nothing i could do...and i really wished that i could exchange my life for her dad’s...because at this point in my life i dont have anything thats precious to me and i dont have anything i look forward to...besides my petty dream of buying 1 or 2 audi with cold hard cash...which got me thinking if it were anyone else would i wanna do this obviously nope i wouldnt...and this thought really scared me that why on earth would i have thoughts like this???? then i remember i think i used to say like i would exchange a few years of my life for love LOLOLOL WTF like seriously i just wanna punch myself in the face/body/anywhere i totally regret saying something like that...and im not sure if i would regret saying this...honestly i wouldnt even exchange my life for my parents’ and thats for sure but zac maybe yeaaa

actually last week i deactivated the fb account which i created just to stalk her, but somehow after the news i reactivated it cause i wanna know if she shares any stories on fb...but who knew that the next day she posted for the funeral service...and till today im still curious why she shares her fb posts for everyone to see...she shouldve at least only share the details to her fb friends cause she wouldnt want to message everyone about it...but maybe i should be grateful for that cause obviously i went for all 3 days ! at first i only i wanted to attend on monday...cause its weird for me to even be there like why on earth should i go!! but of course knowing me i have always been sooo sooo sooo so obsess with her... i just went i mean like i dont even know why i went because i wouldnt do something like this at all what more to attend your crush’s father’s funeral?????!!!!!! its so ridiculous i didnt even go to saint’s open house when i was actually invited twice.....and now i attended to someone’s dad funeral when I have NEVER MET THEM OR KNOW THEM AT ALLL?????????? oh yeaa and i actually unfollowed her on insta but then re-followed her again cause i was so afraid she would make her page private and i wouldnt know anything that fear was seriously real lol

it might sound totally ludicrous but i actually felt like there’s some sort of ‘force’ or what that made me go there...i didnt hesitate much not as much as i thought...i was only worried that she might see me and then that would annoy or anger her....however, maybe at first i gave the excuse that i can finally see her...but then it felt more like i just want to be there...i just wanted to be there i dont even know why...the first night i went i was late to appear right at the parlour, so i missed her eulogy, but i was glad cause i could give myself the excuse to come again...the first moment i saw her i felt a sense of relief i think, nothing like anything too much of emotions, but once i was there i just wanted to be there even more....just awhile after i was standing right outside the corner window i saw just waving at first i thought she was like waving at me or what lol cause she was looking at my direction, i couldnt see well cause the windows were tinted and kinda blurry...but then i thought oh she must be waving at someone from the crowd cause she doesnt even know me lol...and then i left early once people starting to queue to pay respect to her dad, i wanted to stay longer but there’re toooo many people soon the sight of her was buried in the crowd...so i left cause i saw her friend and i panicked a bit...the funny thing must be...when i arrived quite early for malaysian timing i stood in between juncture in front....i made myself looked like i was attending the one on the right and kept my head down sticking my eyeballs to my phone...then like around 830 i was like i gotta do something...so i just tried walking towards the right i wanted to see whats behind....thank god i walked till behind and found their room...there’re so many people standing outside but once i heard someone talking i just couldnt care much and stood right infront of the window...then i saw her with her sisters...and of course all the people outside must be think im so weird cause now they know im here for the same person lol i was quite embarrassed for that....but then the next day while waiting at the airport for boboy to arrive....its sooo long i was thinking sooooo much i wondered hmmm why did she only wave to the person at that time wouldnt she see them earlier already??? haizzzzz i was just tooo confused

the second night i went and i was shocked to see when i arrived that there’re no people standing outside...but this time i didnt take the back road...and when she was presenting her eulogy i stood in front of the door only cause theres where i could hear clearer from the outside, i couldnt hear everything she said tho...just she mentioned about now her definition of sadness is different and she almost almost burst out crying and after that i heard something like ‘you know.... someone to walk us down the aisle’....when she finished i asked the worker to help me give the money cause i didnt want to go inside cause i know i shouldnt even be there...but when i walked towards the window where i was standing the previous night...i think i saw her head turning towards where i was going....she must have felt confused like whats happening and of course i think by then she must be wondering who the hell is this person! and so i gave the money with my nickname zenn....cause i thought it would seriously wayyyyy toooo stupid and moronic if i used a fake name like seriously i just couldnt lol... and then when i was standing there i think she was looking at me cause her head was like at my direction but just didnt know if her eyes were on me or what....and then i did something seriously dumb i thought that for her to not see me i could just hide my face behind all the photos hanging there...but then it only laterrrr i realised that from HER PERSPECTIVE she would still see me cause ughhhh like seriously cant believe im SOOOOOO DUMBBBB!!!! ohh and then at one point when her sister walked behind to take something or what she followed behind too....so means i could have see her standing right in front of me but then i turned around cause like of course i was afraid she would like know which now i realise its all soooooo stupid cause i mean like seriously its sooooo bloody obvious i was looking at her the whole time...but then im not sure if she knew who i am.....when people were like paying respect to them i was standing on the other side of the window means i was standing behind them, and then suddenly i think i saw her friend looking at my direction cause i was like the only weirdo standing outside looking inside! but then actually i still cant be too sure cause i was standing quite a distance and i couldnt see well through the blurry window and then i got panicked more and ran away lolol....but i was glad that there’re a lot of people giving them comfort SO MANY HUGS LOL! sometimes i wish i could hug her lolololollll

on monday it was the funeral service in the morning, and i think the timing was right from the beginning cause papa was already planning not to go to site on monday, so i had no reasons not to go....and again i just felt like i gotta be there...and this time i went inside and sat at the last row which then after that i saw the guy i was sitting next to was actually her friend lol cause he hugged her...and then he was with her other friends....and then i was like damnit! damn i miss one thing....her family went to calvary church...i think i heard that since the first night but didnt bother so much....but then on the second night when a pastor was like giving his short speech....i had my head on the ground cause you know standing for so long is back breaking and tiring plus i have working so hard at the site :( but then suddenly a familiar voice had my head raised up....i looked through the blurry window and thought is that the very very very very fussy pastor????? ok so i just googled yep the pastor should be pastor richard that one i know...but im not sure if the one there was the same....however its on monday pastor steven that really made me think was i really meant to just be there? cause again most of the time my head wasnt looking straight up except when her sister was singing and damn her voice is greattttttt i dont think any chinese can sing sooooo well!!!! even betterrrr than jacklyn victor or something lol! too bad she isnt a singer....but then again too bad im not a film star when im so funny i could be the chinese gianna jun lolol HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA AHA AHAHAHA ok pls prisha! right....the pastor his voice was so so so familiar and comforting like i just heard it yesterday not like literally but like just recently, which is weird cause its been yearss since i last attended to calvary and thats before they moved, plus have i even been there more than 50 times??? lol! idk but now i really want to hear his voice again cause its like reassuring...and im not sure if i could remember voices or its just that pastors’ voice is more anointing to the ears.....and also there’s another pastor who share the story her dad made him a charger thing....its really weird cause i never expected to remember pastors faces cause theyre all like old men right all look almost the same....but then i know i will never hear pastor steven’s voice again cause i will not go to such a huge convention center it just doesnt feel like a church thats so commercialised....tho dumc hall kinda big too...but then i now realise i really prefer their voices more than the pastors in dumc lolol i think im weirder than the person who married eiffel tower lel

anyways when i was sitting down i turned behind and saw some of the pictures there, i knew i could easily walked up and take a closer look at all the pictures, but i didnt cause i know i didnt have the rights or deserve to do that, just like how i wish i could have the chance to see her dad but i couldnt, there’s no reason for me to. i wonder if anyone believes that true love can actually transcends space...no doubt i could feel the unconditional love he had in him...i mean i didnt need to listen to all the testimony to know like seriously his face showed it all ! ! ! one thing for sure i definitely felt inspire that i would like to dedicate all my faithful love to someone...i dont know who it will be or what will actually happen in my future....but i know i will wait patiently for the person to show up....it makes me wonder if she actually has TOOOO much love in her that she sorta a player tho HA HA AHAA....ok jokes i shouldnt tease people when their loved one just passed away....but i know even if i have way tooo much in me i would still only give it to one person, there will always be room for only one in my heart....maybe its also why now i just feel like shutting myself out from the world....i dont even feel like talking to shalinn i mean i wanted to at least remain some kind of acquaintance and go to their final studio presentation....but now i really cant....i dont know how to process what im feeling is too weird i need time to forget this i need time for my prayers to come true then only can i open my heart.....meanwhile i will do whatever i was planning to do slowly and hopefully the day i stopped stalking her will come soon.....truth is im kinda frustrated too...i dont get why is it that i felt like there’s some sort of i dont ‘spirit’ or whatever shit pushing me to go there....but god doesnt even bother to tell me WHAT I SHOULD DO NEXT WITH MY LIFE!! i just want the feeling whereby it just flow and its smooth and everything feels right....because i didnt have anxiety at all when i was there, just nervous cause first time going to a place where no stranger would ever go is seriously something lel! and maybe a bit of panic and trying to run away trying to hide which all didnt work didnt make sense lolol...like when after her dad casket were inside to be cremated...her friends were like walking out and coming towards my way, i panicked that i was like damnit now i gotta go for real...but then i was so nervous i missed the entrance just on my left then walked a round and then got shocked confused why the hell i came back to the same place....and seriously at that moment i thought i was gonna faint cause the weather was bloody scorching hot and i had a cap on and i didnt eat breakfast and i was confused like where the hell is the exit??????? but then i ha d the chance to stay longer like to look at her lololol like seriously damn stupid...till the end i finally leave when more people were leaving

. . . . . . . .. . . . .. .. .  .. . . .. . . 

[a-million-pieces-a-million-miles]

trying to fix everything we have going wouldnt be easy i never said that. through all that we have been through i have never lost hope, or faith. that takes a lot but to me it just shows how much i love and care for you. maybe you dont believe it. there is nothing i wouldnt do for you. try to put yourself in my shoes. i try to put myself in yours all the time. there has been hurt that has been inflicted on both of us. ive been battling so hard to make something work between us for you know how long. i never want to lose you. even though you might be distant right now, not having any contact with you at all...nothing, would hurt me so bad. i cant stress enough how much i love you. everybody knows it. you are my world and without you i truly have nothing. nobody can fill the empty void in me that was left when you left my life. i understand that you are scared i am too. but isnt love about never giving up on the person you love. isnt it about pushing limits to make things work. if im not worth it then i guess i need to just take it. but hearing those words from you would be crushing. i dont want you gone. i want you here with me, fighting with me to make something of our love. all these ups and downs i was always right next to you, somewhere waiting for you to need me. you know i would be right there for you. and honestly those times when you werent there for me when i begged and cried hoping you would be there and you werent. that was the worst pain i have ever experienced, it hurt me deep into my soul. i think i told you i needed you now more than ever, and i really did. do you want me in your future?? when you think about a future with me what do you think? how about without? a future without you hurts to think about.. how could i imagine a future with the only person ive ever been in love with who i shared my soul with and not be hurt. i need you. for you people in your life your family and friends seem to have much weight in how you make your decisions.. if you are really concerned about what they think or what they would think if we were together again and it bothers you i feel saddened. because you are right this is our life and we need to make our own decisions. people in my life tried to tell me to break up with you after the blog situation saying that is unacceptable, and that they would. i never let others taint my view and love i have for you. never. they can think what they want even till this day but you know what i dont give a fuck because i love you and i want to be with you. even with the order now people would tell me the same. i told my suite mate because he kept asking why i went home on a wednesday for just the day. i finally decided to tell him what happened. he was shocked. i told him after all we have been through i still want to make things work again he said i was crazy. but again i didnt let that faze me.. its my life and if i love you then so be it. the people who really love you or me will give us advice, opinions but at the end of the day if they really love us they will respect our decisions. my friend said that best when he was giving me advice on the situation. you know him, he is a great guy, and he has helped me a lot through this situation. i wished people in your life wouldnt feel so mad if we were to talk again but everyone is entitled to feel there own way. if you love me and i am worth it, then my heart is here for you and it always will be. you know i want to make things work. i would always chose you as my right hand, my partner to go through this crazy ride we call life. i love you with all my heart and i hope you can see how hard i have been trying. the pain of seeing or imagining you with someone else kills me so much. i work today i saw that guy you were with on march 6th when you left the building. i felt so hurt. that day was one of the worst days of my life. to see you with another man so soon after we stopped talking i was shocked. you were someone else . i refuse to believe that was you that whole time. in your blog you wrote about seeing me with another girl. im still confused on that. did it hurt???? imagine how i felt. while the woman i loved with all my heart was ignoring me she was giving all her attention to another man. i was put all the way in the back. can you imagine if i did that to you? i would never. this man was commenting hearts under your pictures and you guys were spending a whole bunch of time together. that hurt me sooooo much you cant even imagine. i dont even want to know what was going on with that. i wouldnt he able to take it. since september 2015 i never put another girl above you. never ignore you for someone else. to see you do that to me was the most hurtful thing ever. talking about it now makes me cry so much. even through that i never went out looking for someone else to divulge myself with. it was always about you and trying to get you back. i love you so much. i cant say it enough. you said you are scared of me.? i thought you werent. it hurts to know i scare the woman im in love with. i really want to know if you are willing to love me through all this, willing to fight with me to make our love become something for life. you know i am. i will always fight for you. hope you can answer me tonight. i love you so much.