#sorry!! this is kind of late orz

[soulsxng]

“Jay … “ Where could Cecil even start? Running a hand through his hair, he let out a stressed breath. “I’m not … I don’t know what to do. Cari was Corrupted. It got to his twins too, and Cari locked all of them in his tower.” He takes in another breath. “I’d tell Ippuru if I wasn’t already sure he knows, but … /Fates/, I’m terrified, Jay. I don’t know if I can handle this.” (fatestouch)

@fatestouch

Even before Cecil began to speak, JJ could tell that the god was struggling to keep even the slightest semblance of composure. A panic like this meant that something had either happened to Avelan...or to one of the kids. The thought had him immediately straightening, despite the mild tiredness that was plaguing him before-- expression turning focused and serious.

"He what? Cecil..." Words failed him for a few beats, and so JJ was quick to wrap his arms around Cecil and hug him tightly. If only he could offer some kind of solution...he hated seeing his best friend like this. Hated hearing that his nephew had fallen victim to this mess of a situation.

"...You can handle this. Of course you can...because Cari is going to be just fine. Everyone is doing their best to make sure that the Corruption is gotten under control, and you know that Cari isn't going to succumb to something like this without a fight."

"I can check on him every day, if it'll help. If nothing else, I can at least make sure that he and the twins have what they need. Make sure that things aren't advancing faster than they should be."

[plural-bracket]

This is a weird question but would you accept Tokoyami (My Hero Academia) and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Tokoyami is theoretically plural, but they technically kinda have their own bodies? Dark Shadow is just kind of Tokoyami's literal shadow.

And Sonic is a weird one. While never explicitly confirmed, Sonic refers to Super Sonic as a different person regularly.

feel free to submit anyone! we're going to look into everyone submitted anyway, so there's no harm in submitting characters that toe the line or etc etc. the more submissions the better, so go ham! detailed explanations are actually super appreciated if you're willing to put in the effort, so again go ham if you'd like!

& I think marvel has actually been the most commonly submitted franchise, so. there will very likely be a marvel contestant! ^^b

[babblingeccentric]

ok this piercing one might get a little long. its already almost 400 words and im still just setting up to set up for the sex

[avelera]

So I was re-reading my Amnesiac!Nicky/Joe from the Old Guard fic, Lights Out, as I try to polish off the last chapter while the inspiration is still with me (like...4 years late, I am so sorry orz) and for the record I listened to so many historical lectures to write this fic like, dear lord, basically took online lecture courses on Middle Eastern history, which is was almost entirely new to me, on Islam, on the Crusades, just... so many lectures on the Crusades. It basically sparked an actual interest in me in the Medieval Era ( was an ancients-only girly before that and really didn't see the appeal), because actually if Nicky was from Genoa in 100 CE it would have been easier to write him than 1100 CE because the mindsets are just so foreign in that time.

So anyway, since then I've continued listening to lectures, definitely picked up a bunch while writing Dreamling stuff because hey, I'm a slut for immortals and I always use the hyperfixation to delve into new historical eras. And sure, in the years since with all the new lectures I've listened to, going back to re-read Lights Out has revealed some things I would have done a bit differently, some ways I might have better portrayed a Medieval mindset in Nicky than what I did, but for the most part, they were gratifyingly minor!

Until I listened to a lecture on Catholic history and realized the single biggest historical error in the entire fucking fic.

See, I was raised Catholic, got out literally as soon as possible, but I have an enduring interest in the Catholic Church and its history as an institution. So while writing Lights Out, brushing up on Catholic Church history besides the Crusades didn't really feel like a priority. I already knew a fair amount and from personal experience felt I could at least fake the perspective of a devout Catholic.

But there was one thing, one fucking thing I got entirely wrong and only learned it in the last week, after spending literal decades of my life studying European history.

I said that Nicky went to seminary school, that he fully became a priest and then was defrocked in order to go back to Genoa to be his father's heir after his elder brothers died of a fever. I was trying to reconcile the historically impossible idea floated in some Old Guard behind the scenes stuff that Nicky could be both a priest and a Crusader, because priests were actually forbidden from fighting in the Crusades.

But here's the thing: there were no seminary schools for priests until the 1500s.

Like, it was actually kind of a big deal and credited with one of the reasons that Protestants broke away was that there were so many shitty priests because no one was actually forced to even learn all that much about the Bible or the faith at all!

This blew my mind. I thought that priests got some sort of training and had some sort of school system going all the way back to early church but apparently I was completely wrong.

Probably the more accurate thing would be to say Nicky was in a monastery and got training there and was forced to leave.

But the whole idea I had around him having actually completed some sort of training before being yanked back to secular life? Completely anachronistic for another 500 years argghhh....

[merakiui]

Hi Mera!! I am a bit late to the party but I finished reading tdmg and my God it was soooooo good!! As always your writing is so, so beautiful I ascend every time I read something of yours. I really enjoyed a lot of the metaphors you used to describe things(sorry for being vague, I read tdmg when it was first released but held off my gushing bc I had assignments due so I don't remember as much😵‍💫) I will definitely be going back to write down some of the beautiful metaphors you wrote because goddamn what you write is straight up poetry🔥🔥 you characterise everyone so well and the back-and-forth between the characters is always incredibly fun to read. It is also clear how much research you do for the fics you write(like finding out sea creature behaviours, for example) and it gives so much depth to what you write.

Respectfully, if I was a rich CEO one of the first things I'd do is hire you to write fics full-time🫡(100k per annum+paid leave+company credit card)

I had a question regarding something that happened earlier in the fic but I don't know if it's been asked yet.... Has Jade used invisibility magic to spy on the main character? When Floyd, Jade and the mc were at the garden, it seemed like Floyd could detect that Jade was there but our MC couldn't because she didn't have any magic... I feel like you were hinting that Jade had used invincibility magic to spy on the mc before but she hadn't noticed for that reason. He did admit that he watched her a lot but she hadn't noticed it(though that could also be bc he's a slippery eel!)

Hi, anon!!!!! ( ≧ᗜ≦) aaaaaaa thank you so very much for reading tmdg and writing such a kind message! I'm happy you enjoyed it!! <3 and I'm immensely flattered to receive such praise!! :O to say it's like poetry,,, and to say you'd hire me to write fanfic full-time,,, uuwuwaaaa that's so sweet of you. ⸜(｡ ˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ I think one of my favorite things to do when writing fics is research so that I can add another layer to the plot (you may have to pry the octopus and moray eel biology facts out of my cold, dead hands; I love it too much. orz). I also like being able to incorporate real moray behavior into my Jade and Floyd stories because it adds a touch of marine realism to their actions. >w<

As for your question, I like to imagine he may have done so!! But then it's also fun to picture Jade hiding behind a tree and blushing so shyly while he's spying on you from afar because he is just an eel in love. 🥺 you can trust him. 🥺🥺🥺 he can do no wrong; he's just swept up in romantic bliss. Perhaps he didn't need to use invisibility magic at all, considering Reader was so blindly obsessed with Floyd and thus failed to notice Jade on numerous occasions. ;;;

[teddiebearie]

HI I'm not dead

sorry for disappearing for like (checks notes) a whole year. ehem.

long story short my mental health tanked and then my physical health felt the need to follow it and so between that and general Real Life stuff I took a long break from a lot of online stuff. and while the latter. well. it is what it is. the former is starting to get better bit by bit, so. while the time off was overall good for me, I think it's ok/time to come back! might still not be super active but hey

I'm going to be switching blogs like I planned to originally for a newer fresh start, but for a couple reasons I'm not going to announce the url publicly. if you're seeing this/know me I'll probably follow you again in a couple days but either way feel free to ask for it privately! I'll probably password protect this blog and eventually delete it in some time. I'm also changing the name I use online publicly, but feel free to keep calling me teddy especially in more private contexts!

also I have a bad habit of opening messages, going "ok I'll answer that when I'm up to it socially/mentally" and then (you will never guess) completely forgetting about it so uh. if you messaged me about something and I never responded and you still want a response please message me again =w=b I know there were Some messages I never responded to but I don't remember where or who or what or etc etc so. sorry in hindsight (? whatever the opposite of advance is in this context) (I was checking through my drafts on this blog and found one post that's just "I have a disease called I can’t reply to your text. I love you" 😭 some things never change)

as for some more personal updates. ummm. late last year I tried making an appointment to see if we could get health-related something assessed and got told we had an appointment and would be getting the exact date in max two months, and then four months passed so we called and were sent through a goose chase only to be told it was cancelled pretty much immediately and for some reason???? our GP didn't tell us this ?????? so we asked if we could instead get some allergy testing done in the meantime while we figure out what to do with the first thing and they were like no problem! here's a referral :) yeah so I check it and it's got a 10 month waiting list. still flabbergasted at this. I don't know what else to put here uhh. I went to japan last year again? I found some sandals that fit properly and I like the design of (yay). I got a proper shower chair and it's so so so much better than the tiny foot stool I was using (lol), would recommend. I've been working on my ocs so some stuff about them is finally starting to come together. I think my memory is getting worse in general? maybe?? OH I watched utena (this is more important than my health issues u_u) and some other less relevant anime. did I mention we got a third cat here before? I think I did. idk what else to put here, my perception of time is kind of fucked orz

^ reminder. and with this I will finish this very thrown-together-in-5-minutes post

[seahydra]

🌟!! :D

Oooghggggg I'm so sorry I'm getting to these late yet again... orz

🌟 - what does your f/o do to help comfort you about your insecurities? what do you to do comfort them about theirs?

My beautiful wife... I love her... I would not ever let her feel bad for a second every one harsh thing she says about herself I would respond with at least 5 things I really like about her in return

As for me... it's weird I think. He's really awkward and I get weirdly embarrassed hearing verbal affirmations so I think she just ends up kind of offering to be close for a little bit. And this is fine because I already know that's like a big sign of trust/affection with her so it makes me feel better automatically no matter what I'm upset about =w=

[kroosluvr]

(srry for ranting. ASLKDASJKDA its just late at night here and im still kinda pissed abt this thing) but i just feel bad when my . "passion" -> is reduced to Being deranged and crazy and not normal about stuff which is like, true, but i feel its also kind of really demeaning like . sorry that i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this thing. yknow? orz.

and to be honest i just think if you love something and it makes you happy then that's good and that should be celebrated (ofc as long as its not harming yourself or others...) idk i feel like if people stood by that more rather than like yknow cringe!11! world wld be a happier place.,

and cracking jokes about stuff that i clearly have a strong interest and passion in for., YEARS................. is. idk. well it really puts me on the spot and man i don't like feeling defensive.

besides im also in the boat of like. "i thought of these drawing/comic/story ideas and i want to make them happen, no one else is gonna make it happen for me" and ! so i make it happen! nothing wrong w that.,.........

[tickles-tea]

A Different Kind of Lullaby

Happy birthday, Izaya! Another year of being stuck in the eternal hell of loving you and I wouldn’t have it any other way ~ This is actually a very overdue commission for @happyandticklish and I cannot apologize enough for how late this is, I’m so fucking sorry This ended up a little more,,,thoughtful? Introspective? Than I meant it to but I hope you enjoy orz Inspired by this post Also posted on ao3

Izaya always had to make things difficult. 

If Shizuo wanted to go right, Izaya would go left. If Shizuo wanted to go up, Izaya would dig down. If Shizuo wanted to go over, Izaya skipped around. 

Even when Izaya also wanted to go right or up or over, he still found a way to oppose Shizuo. He would talk his way in twists and turns, scrambling Shizuo’s mind until Shizuo decided they should go left, down, and around. And that’s when Izaya would tell him he was wrong. 

Izaya was clever, able to steal any sense of satisfaction Shizuo might have felt from getting his way, all without lifting a finger. It pissed him off.

Shizuo could already feel the irritation growing in his chest and pulsing at his temples. Of course the flea would find a way to make the simple action of going to sleep an arduous event. Every night, Shizuo would try to coax him to bed at a reasonable time, pressing gentle kisses to the nape of his neck as he hunched over his keyboard. He understood that Izaya’s -shitty, rotten- work was important to him and tried to be reasonable in his demands. However, with the time edging closer to sunrise than sunset, Shizuo no longer had the patience for tenderness. Especially when he could see those dark circles marring Izaya’s beautiful face from across the room. 

He would get more demanding; glaring at the back of Izaya’s head until his gaze had its own presence, physically dragging Izaya’s chair away from the desk, and -on particularly impatient days- shutting Izaya’s laptop on his fingers. It didn’t always work, but there was a sense of gratification in making Izaya just as annoyed as he was.

Some days, however, Izaya gave in to Shizuo’s wishes and crawled into bed beside him before the time turned back to single digits. He’d pull his ridiculously soft comforters up to his chin and cuddle up close until Shizuo could feel warm breath on his collarbone. Then Shizuo would smile and tuck his face into his lover’s hair. He would fall asleep to the soothing scent of the man he once hated. The man he now loved. 

The man he now wanted to smother with one of the stupid memory foam pillows.

Because after only ten minutes, Izaya would start tossing and turning and rustling the sheets like he couldn’t get comfortable. It was amazing how such soft sounds could become deafening in the silence of the night. To Shizuo’s sleep-addled mind, the quiet brush of silk might as well have been clanging metal. Shizuo would think he was doing it on purpose if it weren't for how Izaya seemed to take special care not to tug on their shared blanket too much. As if he was trying not to wake him. 

It was that consideration that kept Shizuo’s tone soft when he finally turned his head to look at Izaya. “Oi, what’s your problem?” His voice was rough with sleep and his lips were tugged down in a frown. Squinting in the darkness, he could just make out Izaya stilling where he’d been about to roll over for the hundredth time. Shizuo blinked a few times, allowing his eyes to adjust to the dark room.

All of the irritation that had been steadily building up disappeared the moment he saw Izaya’s face. He looked awful. It was like someone had smudged graphite beneath both of his eyes. His eyes, usually so bright with mischief and cunning, were dull and glassy from exhaustion, and his lopsided smile was weak and halfhearted. But it was his words that brought it all together into one big recipe for concern. “Ah, Shizu-chan, did I wake you?”

There was no way Izaya would speak so softly if he was actually trying to get on Shizuo’s nerves. Sickeningly sweet and innocent, yes, but not soft. 

“Yeah,” Shizuo answered simply, knowing there was no point in lying. A dead man wouldn’t be able to sleep through Izaya’s restless squirming. “You alright?”

Izaya’s brow furrowed slightly, as if he hadn’t expected that reaction. He didn’t look pleased about it either. Of course the expression didn’t last long, because even exhausted, Izaya felt the need to wear a mask. He’d gotten better about showing his true feelings, but he still had his moments. Shizuo figured that after doing it for so many years it’d just become a habit. Izaya’s whiny, overdramatic response was no surprise. 

“It’s impossible to sleep when Shizu-chan is hogging all of the blankets! I can’t get comfortable at all!” He lamented with a great sigh, flopping onto his back with all of the drama of a Broadway reject. 

Shizuo looked down at the covers. They were about an inch closer to his side of the bed. Maybe an inch and a half if he took a particularly deep breath. His exasperation from before threatened to return, but reminding himself of Izaya’s obviously performative brattiness kept it at bay. He breathed in, pulling the blanket that extra half inch. If that’s what Izaya wanted to do, so be it.

Playing along with Izaya’s halfhearted charade, Shizuo clicked his tongue in faux annoyance. “Then get your ass over here,” he snapped, reaching over to pull Izaya closer. One of the most irritating parts of nights like these was the fact that Izaya always ended up on the other side of the bed and out of his arms. Izaya made a quiet sound of surprise as his face was suddenly smushed against Shizuo’s chest. “There. Better?”

Of course, Izaya protested and squirmed in his hold, trying to push away. Shizuo didn’t budge. “I can’t breathe, you brute!” He complained, growing more agitated with how unbothered Shizuo was by his struggles. 

“Too bad. If you pass out, at least we’ll both get some sleep.”

Izaya spent the next few minutes trying and failing to break free of his prison, all the while Shizuo teetered on the edge of wakefulness and slumber. Pushing at his chest was like pushing against a brick wall, and his legs were quickly pinned beneath one of Shizuo’s when Izaya tried kneeing him where not even his super strength could save him. But Izaya was persistent. He’d taken to wiggling as much as he could in hopes that Shizuo would get annoyed and release him, but if Shizuo was bothered, he definitely didn’t show it. Only when his strength was completely spent did Izaya give in. Well, almost. 

Shizuo’s eyes fluttered open when he felt a sudden sharp pinch in his chest. Looking down, he saw Izaya trying his best to sink his teeth deeper into Shizuo’s skin. A last-ditch show of defiance. The bite itself didn’t hurt, but Shizuo still growled because Izaya was so damn petty.

He backed down though, because even with that nasty glare on Izaya’s face, he still looked exhausted. Shizuo sighed and loosened his grip slightly now that Izaya wasn’t fighting it. “You look like shit.”

Izaya gave him a flat look. “How charming.”

Shizuo’s brow twitched, but he still ran a gentle hand up and down Izaya’s back as an apology. He let silence fall between them, allowing them both to decompress. It was almost impressive how they could work each other up so quickly over the smallest things. However, it was even more amazing how they could come back together after it all. 

The rhythmic slide of Shizuo’s palm along his spine eased away Izaya’s tension slowly but surely. The stiff line of his shoulders softened, and his frown melted away with a content sigh. He tucked his face against his lover’s chest, willingly this time, much to Shizuo’s relief. 

“Hey…” Shizuo started, waiting for Izaya’s quiet hum of acknowledgment. “Is it work?” He slipped his hand under the soft cotton of Izaya’s sweater to trace idle patterns across his back. It seemed to soothe him.

Izaya didn’t respond right away, but when he did, he sounded weary. “Mm. This job has been unexpectedly complicated. I get a headache even thinking about it,” he sighed, twitching a bit when Shizuo’s fingers brushed across his shoulder blades. “Shizu-chan’s brain must live such an easy life, hardly having to work~.”

He squawked when Shizuo pinched his hip in retaliation, trying hard to stifle his giggles when fingers spidered up his back. The sound sparked a light in Shizuo’s mind and he grinned wickedly in the darkness. 

“Oh yeah? Well yours seems to not know when to give it a rest. Maybe I should give it a hand, huh?” He growled playfully, relishing in the look of panic that spread across Izaya’s face.

“D-don’t, you protozoan!” He protested, words tripping over each other as he rushed to get them out. 

Calloused fingertips tickled down Izaya’s spine to dance along his sides in spite of Izaya’s protests. Having already used up all of his strength trying to escape Shizuo’s grasp before, he didn't have the energy to hold back the stream of giggles that fell from his lips. “Shihihizu-chahahan! Knock it off, you b-ahaha!!” His words dissolved into a cackle when Shizuo squeezed at his hips again. Whatever insult he was about to shoot off, Shizuo didn’t want to hear it. Not when it was this late and Shizuo had possibly just discovered a way to get his restless flea to sleep.

Still, he kept his touch gentle. He left Izaya’s hips alone-it was almost ridiculous how sensitive he was there-and directed his wandering fingers to Izaya’s back instead. The ghost of a fingertip brushing up his spine had him gasping and arching his back, while blunt nails skittering over his shoulder blades had him curling forward with breathy snickers. 

“What do you thihihink you’re doing?” Izaya hissed, not quite as biting as he probably meant it to be with a helpless smile trembling at his lips.

Shizuo gave an easy shrug. “Giving your brain somethin’ else to focus on. Are you still thinking about work?”

Izaya’s eyes widened a fraction before they narrowed into an annoyed glare. While he didn’t respond verbally, his expression gave a clear enough answer. Shizuo smirked, smug in his little victory. Though, that same smirk softened on surprised fondness when, instead of coming up with some witty comeback, Izaya sighed and tucked his head under Shizuo’s chin. It was an unexpected show of vulnerability, indulging in this comfort without alcohol or endorphins to blame. They’d been dating-officially, that is- for a few months now, but intimacy did not come easily to Izaya. Initiating or accepting, Izaya always felt the need to put up some irritating front. 

Then again, it’s not like Shizuo was the poster boy for communication either. Thoughts that should have taken the form of words on his tongue instead came as a weapon in his hands.

These hands that were known to enact unimaginable violence now traced along Izaya’s skin with the utmost care, combatting Izaya’s racing mind in place of the thugs he usually faced. 

He didn’t need a clenched fist or the crunch of metal between his grip to win this battle. A featherlight touch up the knobs of his spine had Izaya gasping with a shiver, a teasing brush of a nail at the dip of his lower back guaranteeing that his mind wouldn’t stray.

Shizuo’s own attention didn’t stray so much as it slowly faded into thoughtless contentment. His fingers moved of their own accord, and Shizuo enjoyed the minuscule reactions they prompted from the man in his arms. Izaya was quiet but in the dark silence of the night, his sharp little exhales when a finger edged a bit too close to his ribs were undeniable. He squirmed some, huffed out breathy not-quite laughs, but mostly he melted.

Shizuo didn’t know what Izaya had been thinking about before this, but the warm breath he could feel against his throat- evening out more and more as the time passed-told him that it was no longer tonight’s problem. 

Perhaps it’d come back tomorrow night to try to keep Izaya from getting the few hours of rest he allowed himself. Perhaps it’d be dealt with long before the sun dipped below the skyline. Whatever the case, Shizuo would be here, ready to lull Izaya to sleep with a different kind of lullaby. 

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Hii i know im late but either kuron allura or lance for the ask game thingy you rbed like two days ago?

(i know i always pick these three but idk i just rlly like hearing your thoughts on them<3)

Yay!! I am so sorry this is late. Also heads up this gets long and really salty-

Kuron-

favorite thing about them- He's trying so much! He is not great at it and he was very much Doomed since the beginning and he lost every agency he never had to begin but my god he was Trying! He did not know he was a clone but he felt he that he isnt him and Haggar was still scouting in his head but he was still trying until he couldnt, my god i love him!!

least favorite thing about them- Other than the fact he fucking died??? Kuron babygirl please dont go behind your teams back and dont yell at people, i know you are Going Through It™ but still

favorite line- "Like i am not like myself" HAHAHAHA HAHA FUCKING KILL ME!!! orz

brOTP- Lance and Kuron relationship that lives in my head and has a special place in my heart, also Veronica and Kuron because i am too deep in That au i will make it a thing if only just for that au

OTP- Do i have to answer this one? I guess Kur.ance if you twist my arm but to be honest i still prefer it as platonic or qpr. I am not much of a shipper and he has aroace swag to me. Oh, also Kuron/getting to live as his own person aka the best ship ever

nOTP- I guess Kuron/Keith and Kuron/Lotor? Mostly because my rather uhhh negative opinions on Keith and utter disappointment with Lotor's character and annoyance with both of their stans

random headcanon- i have already talked about him being fan of reading but did you know he also writes sometimes? It is not *great* and almost all of them are wips because he is never sure how to end a story but he is trying

unpopular opinion- if i see one more "Kuron the evil mean clone" i will scream.

Other than- ok. You know how much i love him right? He is one of my favourites and i like him more than Shiro, you know that right? I need you to know and remember that when i say the next part.

Entire clone arc was just not needed. Like you could have had the same effect with Shiro being mind controlled and i personally feel it would have been better. Clone arc just overcomplicated an already messy plot, added even more elements and questions that went absolutely nowhere, left behind a shit load of plot holes, became the final nail in the coffin of Shiro having any possible arc or development, and added a new sympathetic character just to kill him off as a plot device.

And the entire "You are my brother Shiro, i love you" who is it for? Literally who is it for? It would have been much more heart wrenching if it was mind controlled Shiro but we clearly established that is not him. That guy is not Shiro, and Keith as i recall had like 3 on screen conversations with him, 2 of them being strained and then Keith just fucks off with the Blades for most of 3 seasons. It is not for Kuron cause narrative is insistent that he is ~evil~ tool and later on they use his body to get Shiro back. So like, who is it for? Other than to show how sad and angsty and great and amazing writers pet Keith is of course but that is the whole goddamn show.

Like i love him and he did not deserve any of That and i am going to keep making up aus where he lives but the entire pointlessness of clone arc angers me so much

song i associate with them- Being a basic bitch here but Control by Halsey

favorite picture of them-

honestly every scene with him having long hair is just>>>

Allura-

favorite thing about them- Allura is just so genuinely kind, like she goes from one traumatic event after another and loses everything she had and she is rightfully angry and hurt and upset but she still remains kind and does everything so that others dont have to go through what she did and so she sacrifices what little she still had

least favorite thing about them- why is she fucking dead 🥺🥺? Girl wake up, also as much as i love her i am not forgiving her for entire using-Kuron's-body-to-bring-Shiro-back.

favorite line- "So how would you rate your bloodlust level from 1-5?" Let her be silly please!!!!

BrOTP- Allura and Shiro!! Also Allura and Hunk!!! And a number of interactions between Allura and Lance post s3 too!!

OTP- Free my girl hasnt she suffered enough?? (I do have soft spot for early season sha.llura moments and many allurnce moments)

nOTP- i guess l0tura and k@llura? For similar reasons as above

random headcanon- pre-Altea's destruction Allura was the most daredevil person ever. You could dare her to eat a ghost pepper and she'll do it just to prove she can

unpopular opinion- No longer saying 'the situation is much more nuanced' and 'she was traumatized, it is understandable' about the galra reverse racism bs and instead going she was 100% in the right actually. If this fandom can forgive Lotor for getting thousands of alteans murdered and straight up lying to the woman he says he loves about her own people and forgive Keith for abandoning his teammates and almost getting them all killed by claiming they were sad and traumatized than they can also forgive a black coded genocide survivor not liking a race that has been colonizing and murdering the entire universe for 10000 years including her own people

song i associate with them- Queen of Nothing by Crane Wives

favorite picture of them-

Look at her smile

Lance-

favorite thing about them- my boy?? My most favourite boy??? Literally everything?? Ok but seriously i have talked about this before but he is complex to me, i love there is so much duality in him he is someone who is kind would die for a person he met like 2 days ago and did not get along but also is just an absolute obnoxious cunt. He is an emotionally mature guy who understands his own feelings but also is just sooo douchey class clown. He wants to be a cool talented hero, he has the capacity to be that but he wants to be seen as one and in his attempts he ends up screwing himself over and comes out looking as anything but that<33!! And he is loyal and goofy and lovable i love him

least favorite thing about them- i would not have liked this fucker if i met irl specifically s1-s2 him at all. Also the fact they did not even give him an arc like why would you do this to him. Also his fanbase, i cant tolerate 70% of his fanbase and the fact that i still love him is a testimony of my love for him itself given i have hated characters and left fandoms for far less

favorite line- "You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?" Why did they have the goofball say shit like this if he was meant to be just a goofball

brOTP- Everyone <3, he deserves more friends but mostly Hunk, Kuron, and Allura

OTP- i like most Lance ships actually, though there is a specific han.ce au i have in my head that i adore

nOTP- *sighs* kl4nce. It's just sooo Everywhere, i go to Lance's tag and it is all this ship, nearly every s8 fix-it thinkpiece i have seen moans about how Lance was reduced to Allura's bf only to reduce him to Keith's bf and all of them yell about how the only problem with vld was that kl didnt become canon as if all the racism in the show doesnt even matter, and i am so goddamn tired of this like i cant even joke about Lance having terrible taste in men witjout someone bringing Keith up, and i dont hate the ship (and sometimes i even enjoy it) but i am done with this

Random headcanon- he can play violin pretty well! But he also hates playing violin

unpopular opinion- this is coming from someone who only likes and cares about Lance ships but i think he shouldnt have had a romance arc with anyone. I have said this before but he is so obsessed with keeping facades and the romance loverboy is one of those facades. At most he should have had like last one out of beach city episode from steven universe, where he gets a partner by just being himself instead of the flirty loverboy persona

song i associate with them- Top of the world by Greek fire

favorite picture of them-

He looks great when he is on the verge of death

[reccyls]

Summarizing the final part of Chapter 2.5. Also the katakana for the family names are killing me, I can't figure out a good transliteration for them, so I'm going with what seems to be the consensus of Grosvenor and Sardeis.

….This got really long, sorry! orz

We begin with Yuhan in a cell, stirring from unconsciousness. A guard is bringing him food and comments about how different the man in front of him is, compared to all the rumors he heard about Yuhan before. Where is the prodigy that rose up in the ranks to become Fubuki's right hand man? Yuhan says nothing. Well, the guard reasons, that's what happens to someone when their hometown has been burned to the ground and their family and everyone they know killed. How awful, says the guard. But if Yuhan holds any hate in his heart for that, then the person he should hate the most is himself. After all, that's just what happens to fools that cross Fubuki.

Only when the guard leaves does Yuhan start to cry. He calls out to his father, his mother, everyone from his hometown. He apologizes again and again, believing that it's his fault that they died.

Enter Fubuki. "Are you crying?" Fubuki asks. "Rare to see you cry." And when Yuhan glares at him, he asks what Yuhan thinks he's doing, to look at him with such an expression. He won't allow Yuhan to look at his master with such impudence. Then he kicks Yuhan. He says that it is such a shame. After he's showed such favor to Yuhan, for Yuhan to turn around and betray him…

We flashback to the day after Haures has been judged as innocent. Fubuki is supposed to be away, so Yuhan decides to sneak around the Sardeis manor. He discovers a secret door with a staircase leading towards the basement.

Beneath the staircase, Yuhan finds a room full of records. He discovers records kept by the previous head of the Sardeis, which confirms that this is where the Sardeis family keep their important documents. If he wants to find out what Fubuki is planning, this is where he's going to get that information.

Yuhan's loyalty to Fubuki had been unquestionable. He grew up in poverty, along with most of his home town, with no opportunities to speak of. But when Fubuki became head of the Sardeis family, that changed. Before, only high ranking people could be soldiers. But when Fubuki took over, he changed that. Age, social status, it didn't matter. So Yuhan decided at the age of 9 to become a soldier to be able to save his hometown, and after 3 hard years of training and studying, he made it. He became a soldier in the service of Fubuki, and he decided that he would do anything for him.

But as of late, his loyalty has been wavering. Fubuki's fixation on returning the Sardeis family to their "rightful place" as the top of the world was growing worrying. It all culminated in his attempt to assassinate the butlers (the events of chapter 2). Fubuki said that the end of the butlers would lead to a better world, a world where the common people could live safely. But Yuhan's faith was shaken. He knew that Fubuki was the kind of person who would do anything to achieve his goals, so he decided to do some digging to find out what Fubuki was really planning, and if necessary, put a stop to it.

Back in the middle of searching, Yuhan stumbles upon a page. It seems very very old, written over 200 years ago. And whatever is written on it causes Yuhan to react with shock--but then, footsteps approach.

And again, it's Fubuki. He had only pretended to leave, knowing that Yuhan was feeling conflicted as of late. This was a trap, to see if Yuhan would try something. And Yuhan fell for the trap hook, line, and sinker. "To think that a dog would bite the hand that feeds it," says Fubuki. "Such a terrible feeling."

We're back now in the present. Fubuki says that if Yuhan had just minded his own business, this wouldn't be happening now. He wouldn't be imprisoned. His hometown wouldn't be destroyed. His family and everyone he knew would still be alive.

Yuhan asks why. If Fubuki was only concerned about Yuhan finding out his secret, why did he kill everyone else? They were all innocent, they had nothing to do with Yuhan's actions. And Fubuki says, well, he's not about to take a traitor at his word. He doesn't know how long Yuhan has known or suspected something; he doesn't know whether Yuhan had told someone or not. And better to be safe than sorry. If there is even the slightest chance that Yuhan had told someone he knows, then better to just eliminate everyone to ensure his secret won't get out.

Yuhan glares at Fubuki again. And Fubuki sighs. "What did I tell you about looking at me like that?" he asks. He kicks Yuhan again, and we fade to black… but only for a few minutes.

When we return, Yuhan is coughing and sputtering on the ground, gasping for breath. Fubuki says that he'll stop for now. Any more and Yuhan might die. Yuhan says to do it, asks Fubuki to kill him. And Fubuki says no. He has no intention of allowing Yuhan to die here. He'll only kill Yuhan when he's ready to make a proper example of him, to show everyone what happens when you try to go against him.

Fubuki asks if Yuhan is suffering. Of course he is. Everyone he knows killed, his home destroyed, his execution imminent. There's no way anyone could suffer more. And that's exactly why Yuhan will make a good example. Until the day of his execution, he won't let Yuhan die. He tells the guards to force feed Yuhan if necessary to keep him from starving himself to death, then leaves. And Yuhan just cries, pleading for everything to be over.

We go back to the Devil's Palace. Berrien has just revealed to everyone that he wants Yuhan to be their next butler, and Muu asks in shock what he means when he said that Yuhan was going to be executed. Berrien doesn't know the details himself, it's all hearsay, but he says that he heard that Yuhan rebelled against the Sardeis family. Lucas can't imagine why he would, but Bastien comes into the conversation to say that he knows Yuhan has had doubts about the Sardeis family.

Yuhan had actually told Bastien about his plans to look into what the Sardeis family is planning, around the time of the expedition to attack Seraphim. Yuhan asked to speak to Bastien privately, and warned him to be careful, because the Sardeis family might attempt to attack the butlers again. And he told Bastien everything he knew about what Fubuki was planning, about Fubuki's plans to "welcome the end of the age of the devil butlers". Bastien asks why Yuhan is telling him this--isn't Yuhan a soldier of the Sardeis family? If he got discovered revealing these plans…

Yuhan answers: because his wish is for a world where everyone can live peacefully. And to achieve that world, he believes that they will need the help of the butlers to accomplish it. The butlers have protected the world for thousands of years. Without the butlers, humanity would surely face destruction in the future. While he may be a soldier of the Sardeis family, he is the butlers' ally. He may not be able to do a lot, but if it's for the sake of a peaceful world, he will do anything that is needed.

Back in the present. Muu wonders whether they can really trust Yuhan? After all, they haven't exactly had the best track record when it comes to the Sardeis family. But Bastien says, this current situation is all the proof they need. Yuhan is willing to put his life on the line to protect the butlers.

Berrien says that he wants to save Yuhan. If the world were to lose a man with such a strong sense of will and justice, it would be a terrible loss. Bastien agrees. Lucas doesn't disagree, but he does point out that saving Yuhan is going to be extremely complicated. Unlike the time when they went to save Haures from his execution, they can't let a large fight break out. Why? Because that could very well lead to a war between the Grosvenor and Sardeis families.

First of all, Yuhan is in the service of the Sardeis family, and his sentence was decided by the Sardeis head. Technically, it is not the butlers' place to meddle. Furthermore, Yuhan is surely being kept under guard. If they were to fight, and the guards were injured in that battle, the Sardeis family might decide to retaliate against the harm caused to their people. Berrien says that it's all true, and he's been wracking his brain to come up with a way to save Yuhan without a fight. And he did think of one:

To save Yuhan after he's been executed.

Confusion abounds. Save him after? But won't he be dead? No, says Bastien. Because the way that the Sardeis family executes people is unique. There is a special execution method reserved for traitors, that's been tradition for a long time. It's called the Trial of Tigers (not an exact translation, I made it sound a bit more flowing/natural in English). It involves leaving the person to be executed in a bamboo forest populated with feral tigers, who have been trained to enjoy eating human flesh. According to the stories, not even bones will be left when the tigers are done. Then, the ripped and bloody clothes of the executed person will be displayd in the city. It's an execution method that is meant to set an example for anyone else thinking of turning traitor.

So, Berrien's plan is to save Yuhan when he's been left in the forest. They'll hide in the forest, save Yuhan, and escape. Bastien says that he'll go alone, but Berrien says no, he'll go as well. He can't let Bastien be the one left with the burden of asking Yuhan to become a butler. The master says that they will go too. Of course everyone protests, but they point out that they can't use their powers if the master isn't there, right? If they end up having to fight the tigers, it's best to have them along. No one can argue against that. And if the master is going, then Lucas will go as well. The more people to protect the master, the better, right? They've got no time to lose, so they'll leave as soon as possible to save Yuhan.

Time passes, and we are at the bamboo forest. Fubuki asks Yuhan if he has any last words. And Yuhan says, "I will never forgive you."

"Defiant to the end," says Fubuki. "Let's see how long you can keep that up." He reads out Yuhan's alleged crimes (stealing confidential information in order to start a rebellion) and announces his sentence: the Trial of Tigers. Then he and the guards ride off, leaving Yuhan alone. Yuhan says he needs to leave, and struggles away… then we hear a growl. As Yuhan turns to run, more growls sound out from that direction, and again, and again--he's surrounded. As he curses that his life will end like this: his hometown lost forever, unable to stand against Fubuki, unable to keep his promise to Bastien to fight together with him someday…

"Raise your head, Yuhan! Never look away from the enemy!"

Bastien's voice calls out through the forest. Shocked, Yuhan looks up to see Bastien running towards him, assuring him that everything will be okay. Berrien and Lucas then also fly into formation, ready to face off against the tigers. Yuhan asks why they're here, and of course, they're here to save him. Berrien will lead Yuhan and the master to a safe spot, while Lucas and Bastien will protect them. The master grants Bastien and Lucas their powers. The form of an elderly lion with white fur appears behind Lucas, his contracted demon Foras. Now, says Lucas, time to see which is stronger, a lion or tiger.

Hey, Bastien says. Wasn't Lucas the one who said that they shouldn't injure the tigers? They don't want to leave any evidence of their presence, so no fighting. Oh, of course not, of course Lucas won't go against the plan. He just wanted to say something cool in front of the master. After a bit more banter, they get ready to fend off the tigers as they make their escape.

Running through the forest, everyone is attacked by the tigers over and over, but Lucas and Bastien are able to defend against the attacks. They're almost at their designated safe place, and when they reach it they can proceed with their plan to slip out of the forest. Yuhan asks why they're going to all that trouble for him, and Berrien answers: because Yuhan isn't the kind of man who should die like this. Because with his courage and his will, he can help to save the world.

Yuhan says, he's just a man. He can't save the world, he can't save anything. But, says the master, if he was to become a butler… They'll explain the details later. But they want Yuhan to be a butler and join them. Berrien doesn't want to force Yuhan one way or the other. If Yuhan becomes a butler, it should be by his own choice, but he should know the risks. He isn't just risking his life, but he will no longer be able to walk the path of a normal person ever again.

Yuhan barely hesitates. He'll join them. He wants to have the power to be able to fight for a better world.

They're nearly out of the forest. There's just one last thing to do: they'll fake Yuhan's death in order to make it look like he was eaten by tigers, so no one will be looking for him. So he removes his coat and leaves it on the ground, but it's not enough. Yuhan borrows Bastien's sword to cut his own arm, faking a blood splatter to complete the scene.

And the escape goes off without a hitch.

A few days pass. Everyone's back at the mansion. We begin with Lucas treating Yuhan's wounds, noting that they're well on their way to healing and Yuhan should be back in top form in no time. Yuhan had quickly lost consciousness after their escape and was asleep for two days because of sleep deprivation, giving everyone a big scare as they thought he had succumbed to his injuries. The master had been visiting Yuhan every day, worried. But he's okay now!

Berrien arrives, bringing Teddy and Hanamaru with him. He wanted to introduce Yuhan to them, as they'll all be roommates from now on. And after a quick round of introductions, Berrien gets to the point: before they can truly become butlers, they need to go through the ceremony of forming a contract with a demon. Before they go through with it, Berrien wants to make sure everyone is still on board. The process of forming a contract is very dangerous, they may even lose their life. Do they still intend to become a butler, knowing this?

No hesitation from any of them. All of them agree.

So, Berrien thanks them, and proceeds to the next step. He hands all of them black blindfolds. The location where the ceremony is going to take place is top secret, and kept even from the people taking part in the ceremony itself. Berrien says that they will be leaving the mansion for a bit for this ceremony, and while Berrien will return in a few days, the other three will be gone for about 3 months.

Four months pass, it is now winter. Haures calls the master to the back garden to show them something: a building that looks like a house. This is the villa of the Devil's Palace, where the three new butlers will be staying when they return. Haures built it, with help from a craftsman he knows, as well as the other butlers--Boschi designed the interior, of course.

They hear hoofbeats approaching: but there aren't any guests who would really approach the mansion. So, does that mean that the three are back? The master is eager to greet them, and Haures goes to tell the other butlers. Everyone gathers at the entrance hall, and the three of them are indeed back! Their contracts were made with no issue, and though they did take a month longer than normal, everything is fine. They also appear to have gotten quite close; when Teddy notices that Hanamaru is missing from the group, Yuhan just sighs and says that Hanamaru probably snuck back into the carriage to nap. Quick glimpse of their dynamic is probably like Yuhan and Hanamaru bicker a lot (though it's mostly Yuhan initiating and being a little passive-aggressive, Hanamaru just kinda goes with it and faces the passive-aggressiveness with completely blunt honesty which is pretty funny. Teddy is stuck in the middle being an earnest and bright kid trying to stop his friends from fighting--Yuhan says with a smile on his face that doesn't reach his eyes that they're not fighting, they're just having a difference of opinion)

We get more cute and funny scenes of everyone getting along as we officially welcome our three new butlers. The next day, the new trio show up to present themselves to the master. They want them to be the first person to see them in their new uniforms. And aside from their new uniforms, Yuhan has also decided to go with a change of hairstyle. Shinonome Yuhan is supposed to be dead after all, so a different hairstyle helps to hide his identity a little bit better. Plus, he feels like he can get a new start with a change of appearance.

Lono also shows up, saying he wants to hold a party later. The butlers of this mansion are like family, they live together, they fight together. And to help everyone get closer to the three new butlers, Lono wants to have a party to celebrate them. Of course the master agrees, and Lono leaves, excited as he thinks about what dishes he'll make. Once Lono is gone, Yuhan asks whether it's really okay for a party to welcome the three of them to be held. After all, they're butlers, and the master is their master. Is this kind of relationship really okay between master and servant? Yuhan is pensive; this is just very different from the environment that he is used to. The master answers that they don't really care about things like that. They just want everyone to be happy.

At the party we have some lighthearted stuff. Teddy wonders why Lono calls him Teddy-san, even though Teddy is Lono's junior as a butler. But Lono says eh, he just does that with the people who are older than him. Even though butlers stop aging, Teddy is 25 and he's 22, so he'll use -san with Teddy. Stuff like that. Hanamaru also got into the wine so that's also fun. And people just keep talking, get to know each other better.

Teddy finds out that Haures is over 300 years old, and the conversation transitions to the unaging nature of the butlers. None of Haures, Boschi, or Fennesz remember their exact age anymore. Haures and Fennesz became butlers on the same day, Boschi was soon after that. They were all 28 years old when that happened so they're pretty much the same age. Then the conversation turns towards birthdays--and it's revealed that the butlers don't really celebrate their birthdays. In fact, Haures and Fennesz say that they haven't celebrated a single birthday ever since they became butlers.

The master says that they want to celebrate everyone's birthday. Berrien overhears, and he reveals that there is a reason they don't celebrate birthdays: it's to keep the balance between the butlers. Because they all come from different times, different paths of life and different circumstances, there are quite a few butlers who don't know their own birthdays for some reason or another. If you celebrated only the birthdays of those who knew them, it wouldn't be very fair to the rest. But if the master does want to celebrate everyone's birthdays, then Berrien suggests to make it the day that they became butlers. A birthday is meant to mark the beginning of a new life, after all, and the butlers really have started a new life once they make a contract with a demon. The three new butlers still remember their own birthdays so they don't have to change anything, they can just keep their own birthdays. Muu sets his birthday as the day that the master arrived at the mansion.

Berrien gathers everyone to announce the birthdays, and that they're going to celebrate them every year from now on. In particular, Lato and Lono note that this would be the first time they get to celebrate a birthday. Everyone looks pleased, and the master thinks that they're going to make sure that everyone stays happy, and will be sure that celebrate everyone's birthdays dearly from now on.

[viscericorde]

Do you have any good inde or small businesses that sell good quality alt clothing? I've been struggling to find any good shit lately, and I'm hoping you could possibly help my dilemma 😕 😔

idk if most/any of the places i shop from count as indie honestly ;o;! but here are the brands i shop from most regularly and can vouch for the quality of tho.

Disturbia (https://www.disturbia.co.uk/en-us) - i buy a lot of my most-loved/most-worn pieces from here! some stuff on the pricier end but quality is worth it 4 me. check the garment measurements instead of just going by the size chart bc it can sometimes be wacky. darker/gothy aesthetics, a nice mix of edgier/rougher pieces but also some nice frilly feminine stuff!

Minga London (https://us.mingalondon.com/) - i refer to this one in my head as the e-girl store a lot lollll...i do like the stuff they offer but i just have to make my peace w having the same sweater as a lot of tiktok alt girlies. ngl some of the pieces are NAWT worth the price point so i wait for things to go on sale mostly

The Ragged Priest (https://theraggedpriest.com/) - "streetwear" type stuff, a lot louder colors and prints than i usually wear, but there's a fair amount of monochrome/darker stuff that i sort through it for. mostly i buy jeans/pants from here bc that's kind of their main gig and it's v nice quality. higher price point, but also has p frequent sales that i take advantage of!

Lamoda (https://us.lamoda.co.uk/) - shoes!!! i buy most of my platform heels from here. less pricey than demonia but also i never buy anything that isn't on sale

Demonia (https://demoniacult.com/) - shoes again. i specifically only buy platform boots from here. obviously big money. but also i bought a pair of boots back in high school and they are still serving me well now that i have graduated from college so worth it.

i also used to buy from killstar every so often but their recent selection has been so gd ugly i've kind of given up on it, and anything i'd be able to rec from there has been sold out for literal years so. sighh.

a big percentage of the clothes/shoes i have are from these places, but my closet is also supplemented by a lot of "basics" from places that i wouldn't at all consider alt brands lol. sometimes i will head into extremely whitebread shops like urban outfitters or smthn to see if there is anything there that i know i will be able to coordinate with a lot of other stuff i already have, and that helps me out a lot.

also disclaimer for this list that my usual sizes are XS or a US 0 to 2, so i can't rlly speak for the fit of larger sizes or inclusive sizing, sooo your mileage may vary <:3

i know that a lot of these brands are pricier than average so vewy sorry for that orz im just the type of person who can make peace w spending big money on clothes so that may skew my tastes

[blockgamepirate]

Everyone is the main character of their own pov, I feel like that what makes roleplay via streaming so interesting. For example, in a TV show, you only get to see parts of the characters life that are relevant to the scenes they’re in, but with this format, you see everything from important moments to random, mundane, slices of their lives.

And then all these personal stories come together to form an ensemble story (the general lore of the server could be seen as such).

Sometimes of course some cubitos have a more prevalent role in whats going on but they’re more main characters of an arc than of the whole thing. Even cubitos who don’t engage much with lore are still main characters, they’re just not main characters of the weird horrorish plot everyone is a part of, but of their own slice of life, sitcom, romcom, family drama, adventure, whatever story.

This mixing of genres and multiplicity of povs is one of the things I love the most about QSMP (I assume every twitch rp is the same but I don’t watch it). It’s like you’re watching a TV show except every episode is written by a different writer. More accurately it’s kinda like watching people in the streets from your window and wondering what kind of life they live, how they connect etc except here you actually get to watch it all.

Eyyy thanks for the ask! Sorry for the (probably?) late response, I completely missed it somehow orz

I'm excited to get thorough responses though, that's the ideal :D

And yeah I fully agree actually, I think this is one of the reasons why this medium is so captivating for me

Not to spoil too much but the reason for the polls was actually because I saw like two videos on YouTube within a week that were reminiscing about DSMP and both of them just unquestioningly called Tommy the main character of the story and I got into thinking about how I've never heard anyone seriously say one streamer's character is the main character of an SMP, or any roleplay thing, other than DSMP, while with DSMP you hear that take ALL the time

But then I thought that actually I should probably verify that because maybe I just think that no other SMPs have this, maybe I'm just not hearing it, and that's when I was like hey wait I can make polls and do a comparison

(I mean I'm pretty sure the polls are gonna be skewed anyway, because that's how Tumblr works, but it'll be fun anyway, and I've already gotten interesting responses in the notes)

[virtuesdagger]

I'll be sharing new art soon. Sorry it's been kind of dry in this blog lately orz

[trealamh]

I'm sorry if you've got these question before but I have to ask: what made Alisdair speak to Arthur in Glasgow Scale? Did Arthur and Dai have any other family? What life did Arthur leave behind in Kent, and was Alisdsir's life much changed afterwards?

I love how your short stories pack so much life into them, they can be unfolded ten times over and I still would want to know more

always ask anything you'd like! i love your questions. And aaaa thankyouthanyouthankyou for your kind words <3

hehe I have been wondering whether it would be too indulgent to write TGS from Alasdair's point of view, actually. It would be a longer piece and much more dialogue heavy, covering from the night they met to Arthur moving in.

(Here is where I confess that TGS was going to be a multi-chapter fic/ one of those 15k single-chapter fics until i got worried I would disappoint people by taking too long to update or missing scoteng week entirely orz sorry everyone)

But to answer your questions!

Alasdair, as i mentioned here had just been released from custody and made his way straight to the hospital (no time to rush home and hop in the shower when you're naw even sure your brother is still alive). He is still running high on adrenaline a when he goes to find a seat in the waiting room, having been dismissed by the nurses that won't let him into Sean's room. It may not show much on him, but emotionally he is all over the place; angry, furious, even, and worried. Exhausted and fed up with the proceedings of loss; the bureaucracy of pain. Having someone in hospital is one of the hardest things to go through; a lot of the time it is worse to be the one waiting outside than it is to be the one hooked onto an IV. Alasdair is burning for a smoke and out of filters but the truth is that the reason why he sits next to Arthur is that something in him recognises him as a younger brother-- Dai was older. Call it instinct. I don't believe he would rationalise it and I do think that at some point Arthur would ask him outright "Why did you choose to sit next to me that night? Why me?" Alasdair probably would not have the words o explain it beyond some vague sense that Arthur was the only person in that room that made sense to him in that moment.

Arthur and Dai only had each other, really. Maybe a distant relative here and there but no one close. I won't go into detail to spare anyone who might come across this without a cw but it is partly why Dai is almost meticulous with the instructions he leaves behind; he knows that Arthur won't have any support going forward so as much as he can he tries to make it easy.

(It is patently not. It could never be. Nothing about loss could ever be but losing someone under those circumstances especially is unmanageable.)

When Arthur calls Dai's workplace to try and let them know he is not coming in to work they seem a little baffled and tell him that Dai had put in his two weeks already. It makes Arthur nauseous; it almost brings him to his knees. It makes him realise how long Dai had been planning this for and that as much as the loss of him itself is worse than any nightmare.

Moving onto lighter things, what Arthur leaves behind in Kent is a slightly bemused flatmate and a few odd pieces of furniture. He only moves in with Alasdair after he finishes his degree! Dai and him grew up nestled deep in the Welsh borders (I needed them both to have a piece of their namesake countries with them! so the borders it was) lost their mother in their late teens, shortly after Arthur gets approved for his student loan. Some more deep lore for TGS: that the reason why Dai is studying in Edinburgh are the student fees. He is older than Arthur, as I mentioned, so went off to uni a year before he did with his mother's support. She was already sick when Arthur was finishing up school and gone before he got his A-levels back. That summer, Dai comes down from Scotland to help him back and move into his first-year accommodation in Kent and that is the last time they spend more than a couple of weeks together at a time. Everything they own between them and whatever their mum left is split even; they get a few boxes each and a couple of furnishings, and that's all they really need. Eventually, Arthur might start feeling that loss as well and he might feel nostalgic about his home town, the flat they shared with their mother, and he might return to seek out familiar sights. Dai never grows old enough for her loss to lose its sting. They have different fathers (both still living) but neither keep in touch; their wee family of three (and then two) was plenty enough for them.

(Alasdair, contrastingly, comes from a Big Family. They fold Arthur right in, don't ye worry.)

And last of all, Alasdair's life does change pretty significantly after the events in The Glasgow Scale. He stops smoking, for one, but he also starts drinking less. By the time we meet him in this AU he has already done a lot of the work to get a hold on his temper and it's partly why he is not one of the brawlers in the fight that puts Sean in a coma. But he still has a ways to go and Arthur helps with that, more than he knows. He learns to think about someone else's needs in a deeper way than he ever has before and starts to see his own actions through someone else's eyes. Alasdair post-TGS is guilt-ridden to a fault and being good to Arthur helps him get a grip of himself.

This is a bit of a spoiler but a few months after Dai's death, Arthur gets a call from one of his classmates. Dai left behind a few things (he was an artist, Dai was you see) and he offers to hold onto them until Arthur can travel back up to pick them up. Arthur mentions this to Alasdair, who he's kept in touch with (a little awkwardly at first ksks do not be fooled they are deeply emotionally constipated in this AU despite the way they latch onto each other in the midst of their respective trauma) and Alasdair offers to bring them down for him instead. He kinda just blurts it out actually haha and is afraid that it was too forward of him when Arthur takes too long to answer that aye, that would be good actually, if Alasdair is sure (he cannae afford a ticket up to Scotland is the truth).

This is a whole wee story in its own right but essentially they get to meet each other again, under better circumstances, and that lays a stronger foundation for their eventual relationship. It is also an incredibly awkward visit at first adgfjdhgj which oddly enough helps them get over a lot of personal hang-ups.

One thing about this fic though is that for as much as their lives are changed irrevocably by what they lose and earn that night, they are still very ordinary people hhh and that's what I love about them both.

[mostlikelytofangirl]

This is maybe a bit personal but I can tell you from personal experience that abusive behavior doesn't necessarily come from a place of strategy. Abusive tendencies can come from places like:

"I need someone to blame (because the real culprit is inaccessible)"

"Make it stop make it stop make it STOP" <- the other person is providing some kind of trigger or stressor unintentionally and without malice, but the result is still that it's hurting you. So you will do anything to make it stop.

"You disagreeing with me (opinion) is you disagreeing with Me (identity)" <-sense of self is dependent upon 'winning'

"You can't leave. I can't be alone." <- fear of abandonment and loneliness

The difference between abusive tendencies and being an 'abuser' is merely habit. Sure, some people would rather find a convenient punching bag than try to actually deal with their issues and break those habits if given a choice, but not everyone is self aware enough to know that there is a choice. And some people who are still fuck it up. Every choice you tell yourself will be Just This Once can easily become a slippery slope to bad habits.

I've seen plenty of relationships go sour or fall apart because of the above. It sure sucks empathizing with both the abuser and the victims when you are supposed to believe the the abuser is one of Them, while you are one of Us, and you could never be Them.

Anyway, I've read fics of a lot of characters I love being abusive/abusers and liked them because their potential to be their Worst doesn't cancel out their potential to be their Best. We are multifaceted creatures with no true self constantly affected by the impermanence of nature ect ect.

Sorry for the long ask about abuse haha. None of these are even textbook, just observations. Reminding myself it's okay to disagree.

– Regular Anon

Hello again anon! Once again, sorry for the late reply ^^;

First of all, I just want to say that I'm sorry you went through this and I in no way try to invalidate it. You are fully entitled to how to experience your fandoming through the lense of your own life circumstances.

About the topic of abusers and abusive behavior, it is indeed much more complex than just "bad person does bad thing to another one". Maybe the way I expressed myself in the other reply could have suggested otherwise, but I didn't mean to imply that all abusers are these masterminds that know exactly what they are doing and plan everything. That's just the pattern of behavior they developed through their own circumstances for whatever reason it might be.

However, that's one heavy and delicate topic I'm not equiped to tackle, and honestly, neither do I have the mental and emotional energy to deep dive into orz.

I was just exposing my point of view about why I PERSONALLY and very BIASEDLY think that in JGY's case in particular, him being an abuser doesn't work for me, starting with the fact that FOR ME he is not a villain to begin with.

That was the core of your question, so that was what I focused on in a way that explained where I come from with my opinion. I can't in no humanly possible way account for every instance in which my opinion doesn't fit this or that other experience. This my own personal interpretation of this fictional guy in a fictional story, and neither should it serve as a sample of how I feel about real life abuse or any other irl situation (or we would start playing into antis' rethoric tbh, only able to enjoy pure media or putting disclaimers everywhere about how we don't condone this Bad Action from this Bad Character)

I think it's obivous that we stand on different sides on this issue and that's totally ok! I have no intention of trying to change your mind, I merely offer my opinion that your question requested ^^.

There's a lot of diversity in the fandom and always a fic for every need, so if you find that this portrayal of JGY is in-character for you, then all the power to you, I fully mean it! You are clearly the target audience the writers are trying to reach :D

For me tho, it doesn't, so I just don't engage with it bc fandom is a great place for exploration and meta, but also for unwinding after a long day and just have fun.