#sorry I think I'm funny it's a recurring problem

[mcmansionhell]

mojo dojo casa house

Howdy folks! Sorry for the delay, I was, uhhhh covering the Tour de France. Anyway, I'm back in Chicago which means this blog has returned to the Chicago suburbs. I'm sure you've all seen Barbie at this point so this 2019 not-so-dream house will come as a pleasant (?) surprise.

Yeah. So this $2.4 million, 7 bed, 8.5+ bath house is over 15,000 square feet and let me be frank: that square footage is not allocated in any kind of efficient or rational manner. It's just kind of there, like a suburban Ramada Inn banquet hall. You think that by reading this you are prepared for this, but no, you are not.

Scale (especially the human one) is unfathomable to the people who built this house. They must have some kind of rare spatial reasoning problem where they perceive themselves to be the size of at least a sedan, maybe a small aircraft. Also as you can see they only know of the existence of a single color.

Ok, but if you were eating a single bowl of cereal alone where would you sit? Personally I am a head of the table type person but I understand that others might be more discreet.

It is undeniable that they put the "great" in great room. You could race bicycles in here. Do roller derby. If you gave this space to three anarchists you would have a functioning bookshop and small press in about a week.

The island bit is so funny. It's literally so far away it's hard to get them in the same image. It is the most functionally useless space ever. You need to walk half a mile to get from the island to the sink or stove.

Of course, every McMansion has a room just for television (if not more than one room) and yet this house fails even to execute that in a way that matters. Honestly impressive.

The rug placement here is physical comedy. Like, they know they messed up.

Bling had a weird second incarnation in the 2010s HomeGoods scene. Few talk about this.

Honestly I think they should have scrapped all of this and built a bowling alley or maybe a hockey rink. Basketball court. A space this grand is wasted on sports of the table variety.

You would also think that seeing the rear exterior of this house would help to rationalize how it's planned but:

Not really.

Anyways, thanks for coming along for another edition of McMansion Hell. I'll be back to regular posting schedule now that the summer is over so keep your eyes peeled for more of the greatest houses to ever exist. Be sure to check the Patreon for today's bonus posts.

Also P.S. - I'm the architecture critic for The Nation now, so check that out, too!

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because media work is especially recession-vulnerable.

[ordering-milk-at-a-bar]

Can you, maybe possibly do more winx club/fairy! Reader with the chain drabs- 📍(idk if any anon has this emoji but I want it.. whatever they mean)

Yeah, you can have that emoji. Of the people who have asked to be certain anons, none of them have used that emoji. I haven't come in contact with these emoji anons that much, but from what I can gather, they're used to mark a recurring fan who prefers staying anonymous.

--

“I think I see your problem here.”

Now you were by no means an expert on teaching magic, but when Hyrule came to you asking for advice, how could you possibly say ‘no?’ In a way, you were the best person for him to ask. While all members of the Chain have come into contact with magic - and even used it themselves - it was through magic items or fairies (which you were a little horrified to learn they often caught in bottles). Hyrule was the only one to actually harness magic and cast spells.

The two of you were similar in many ways: both of you learned about your magical heritage much later in life than others like you, there was the fact that both of you could transform (even if, like all other fairies of his world, he was much smaller than you), and the fact that you both felt different from the people you grew up around due to your magic.

“You’re trying to force the magic out, but at the same time you’re stifling it.” You spoke as you came closer, letting Hyrule relax his hand. “That kind of polarising pressure doesn’t allow the magic to flow correctly, which could lead to your spell backfiring on you. Believe me, it’s not good for your ego.”

You laughed a little at a memory of some of your first spells going wrong. You have no idea how, but you somehow messed up a spell that would change the colour of your hair. It was literally the first - and easiest - spell they taught you at Alfea and you managed to turn your hair into a technicolour nightmare.

But it seemed like your impromptu magic lesson had to be put on hold.

"[Name], my grappling hook got stuck in a tree and I can't pull it loose." A whiny voice caught your attention. "Can you fly up and get it?"

You know, sometimes you wondered if it wasn't such a good idea to tell these boys about your powers.

"Can't Wild climb up there and get it for you?" You ask a little annoyed. "I'm a little busy right now."

"But I wanted to show Wild a cool trick with it. If I go asking for his help, it'll be embarrassing."

You couldn’t say ‘no’ to that pleading look. Wind’s expressive face had its funny moments, but his puppy dog eyes were like weaponized guilt. Shooting Hyrule a look that said “sorry,” you received a small “it’s fine” in return. You’ll continue your training later.

You let out a sigh, looking up at the tall tree Wind was pointing at, “alright. But if this happens again, you’re on your own.”

“Deal!”

In just a flash of light you had transformed into your fairy form, wings out and fluttering to lift you off the ground. Following the rope, you found the hook stuck high in the branches, not only caught by the tree, but also by the rope itself. The whole thing was a giant knot looping around itself, one that you found hard to see where it began and ended. “Geez, Wind, how did you even manage this?” You groaned as you began pulling the problem apart.

“I was practicing a trick, but it went south.” The boy shouted from below as both he and Hyrule watched you work.

“Yeah, I can tell.”

After what felt like half an hour, you finally managed to untie the thing. Letting out a sigh of relief, you grabbed the metal hook, looped the long rope over and around your shoulder and flew down onto the ground. “Here.” You handed the grappling hook over to a very enthusiastic looking Wind.

“Thanks!” Wind then immediately turned his head away, rushing off somewhere else. “Hey, Wild! I can show it to you now!”

“Kids, am I right?” You laughed to yourself.

“Yeah.” Hyrule chuckled. “I don’t know where he gets all that energy from.”

“Now, where was I-”

You hadn’t even had the chance to detransform before someone shouted your name again. This time it came from Four’s corner of camp, where he, Wars and Legend were busy at a makeshift forging station. “We need a stronger, more stable fire over here.”

“I was doing just fine.” Wars shot back at the small smith. “You asked for a stronger flame and I gave you one.”

“I said a “fire,” not a “blaze!” You nearly singed my eyebrows off!”

Guess Wars really wasn’t quite as good with his control with the Fire Rod as he thought. Whose brilliant idea was it to use a weapon meant for combat for forging, instead? But then again, who asks an Enchantix fairy, a fully fledged Guardian Fairy, to be a living furnace, as if that’s somehow better? Probably the same kind of person who asks that same fairy to get a rope unstuck from a tree.

And the smithing group had devolved into a petty argument while you weren’t paying attention. Maybe this could be your out, let you finally get back to Hyrule. But if you were a betting girl…

You turned your eyes to Time, Sky and Twilight who were sitting around a small fire, watching a kettle of water start to whistle. “Let me guess, you’ve got a request for me, too?”

The oldest thought for a moment before giving you a cheeky smile. “No, but I’m sure Wolfie would appreciate an eye-in-the-sky helping him during his patrol.”

Yeah, it was definitely a mistake to tell them about your powers.

--

[meanbossart]

Massive ask compilation time OH LORD

YES, her journals are a fun read. I somewhat wish there was more to her and The Dark Urge's interactions, too - she's wonderfully evil and clearly very attached to you if you're playing as that character, but I had hoped there was more of a reason for her obsession besides just "you were fun to cut up", haha. I remember reading her journal over a couple of times looking for something I might have missed.

His reaction was pretty in line with the Narrator's cues, just immediate rage over what she had done to him - DU Drow may be a masochist but that's reserved for people he cares about! So, her and her posse met a swift end. Also, despite the fact that the whole tadpole thing turned out being for the best, I think he's easily overtaken by resentment over his lost glory-days whenever faced with it so directly (he misses living in obliviousness) - not to mention his profound fear of vulnerability, and of feeling... Small. The way Kressa spoke to and of him would have absolutely shook him to his core, especially by doing so in front of the others.

[MORE UNDER CUT]

THANK YOU so much for your kind words first of all! As for the question, it depends a bit on the timeline; his dislike of female drow, especially at the start of his tadpole'd journey is pretty irrational and faith status wouldn't be of too much relevance, he just thinks It's in their nature to want to put him down and be conniving, and wants nothing to do with them.

Later, and especially post-game, he might at least give them a chance to prove they aren't "like other drow", though it would take him a lot to ever let his guard down entirely - UNLESS you seem like a complete fool LOL he's actually easy to trick into dismissing you as long as you don't mind playing the role of a dumb idiot.

But if not, he'd have an extremely short patience for any attempts to exert authority over him or his actions - or jokes at his expense, or any level of smugness or secrecy. Nymea would definitely feel kept at arms length because of the gender+race combo alone and have to put up with a lot of snideness. Basically, she'd have to treat this 6'4" feet tall freak with kids gloves to ever develop a rapport LOL

But also... The vampirism may "help"? He'd consider her a "lesser drow" for it. In that regard her attitudes toward Astarion would probably come to be relevant. I'm not sure about that aspect of it to be honest!

First of all, this is a hysterical scenario because he Would just fucking put the ring on without thinking about it LOL so thank you for the laugh that mental image just provided me with.

Oh he wouldn't care though. I mean, he dislikes drow in general, but he is a drow (up for debate, but you know, generally speaking) and he thinks he's pretty great. As long as he's still huge and strong he could wake up a woman tomorrow and not give a damn. And, frankly, his dick could turn into a pussy at any point in time and it wouldn't change anything about his character save for having to add a recurring UTI problem to his character sheet - he'd probably have fun with it.

TOTALLY FAIR, I'm very sorry it went past the point of enjoyment for you, but I'm glad you knew when to put it down!!! We're in our hand-holding and elf-smooching era now with the occasional visceral description of violence LOL SO YOU'RE WELCOME IN IF YOU'D LIKE. Thank you for dropping by!

Just putting this here because - I actually haven't decided yet, so that's pretty funny you asked LOL I'm leaning eyes closed though, nothing like a smooch to calm the big weirdo down.

HAHAHAH WELCOME BACK, I've been around this whole time! But I was hanging out on twitter for the most part. HOPE YOU'RE INTO THE DND STUFF LOL

DROW DURGES RISE UP I'll be honest with you friend, DU drow's lore has been as accidental as something like that can be, so much of it has felt completely organic in the way it came up - I guess that's what good RPG does to your brain. The rest of it has just been a wonderful opportunity to develop my writing that I decided to take full advantage of this year. Thank you so much for the lovely message!

---

Aaaaand I can barely muster something to say that feels like an appropriate response, but again I wanted to acknowledge all the sweet compliments people take the time to leave in my inbox. Some of you guys' comments about the things I create blow me away, I think I'm pretty confident in my art but... Damn, makes me so happy to know the stuff I create can hold a little special place to some folks. Thank you all so, so much for taking time out of your day to spread a little kindness around, and make mine a little better.

Again, thank you all for humoring me, have a lovely day folks!

[antspaul]

For fit young men <3 it's a lot but I'm really curious, sorry for more work :(

ask game + fit young men

✄ DVD BONUS: pick a fic and I’ll describe or write a deleted scene!

I'll share some scenes from the fourth chapter I never finished below the cut! does that count as a deleted scene hahahaha

♬ THEME SONG: pick a fic and I’ll share a song that reminds me of it (and why!)

i do have a reecechilly playlist if you want to peruse it lololol

but frank ocean's self control has always been my go-to for reecechilly vibes tbh.... and like.... its just them...

the themes of an ephemeral relationship - the fic was always going to end with reece and chilly going back to london with the uncertainty of their future looming over them, how they might find their relationship fundamentally incompatible once they return to their "real" lives. ("could we make it? / do we have time?" - "wish i was there / wish we'd grown up on the same advice / and our time was right")

also the difference in experience between the singer and the subject of the song - this is a fundamental element of the way that I interpret them! reece is no stranger to queerness. it's an identity he's used to and has experimented with enough to know that it fits. he's adjusted his expectations for love and romance accordingly. but ben's so new to it and hasn't figured out a way to reconcile his attraction to his teammate with the way that he's thought about himself his entire life. that uneven experience level leads to the tension between them! ("i'll be the boyfriend in your wet dreams tonight" - "little virgin wears the white")

(total side note but i will also always associate this song with @unpublishableprivateliterature 's fic tell your man, game over. absolutely goated fic. the song reminds me SO much of ben's insecurity and struggle to feel fully connected to mason, the person he feels closest to at the moment, when he feels that his and mason's relationship will never be able to catch up to the relationship mason has had with declan his whole life. Like: "It’s funny, to sit with the two of them together. To hear them refer breezily to stories from their childhood, about Dec’s mum driving them to training or Mase’s favourite snack as a teenager or how Mase was homesick when he was in the Netherlands or what Dec was like when they used to run through the Academy together. Look at Mase with a new curiosity, thinking about all of the years Dec had with him that Ben could never catch up on. It makes Ben feel something he can’t quite place, a complex, strange feeling. A bit of wistfulness at not being able to know Dec in the same way, a little anger at feeling himself one step behind the whole conversation.  A little awkwardness, in the silences he isn’t able to fill, with his own stories that seemed too far away from their tangled pasts together. Milton Keynes, not London or Portsmouth or Kingston; Leicester youth, not Chelsea; not the same favourite sweets or childhood TV shows or friends or memories. A part of Mase that Dec seemed to have only to himself." And from Frank Ocean: "Wish I was there / wish we'd grown up on the same advice / and our time was right" and "Keep a place for me / I'll sleep between y'all / it's nothing." JUST A THOUGHT. ANYWAYS.)

✑ PROCESSING: pick a fic and I’ll tell you what it was like to write it!

This fic was a lot of fun to think about, and occasionally a bit frustrating to write! There were moments in Chelsea's season last year that I did not want to even touch it LOL. I think the writing process suffered from my recurring problem of having ideas that are vibes and struggling to put those vibes into concrete scenes. I kind of ran out of steam halfway through writing chapter 4 because I didn't have a great idea of where the fic was going nor did I have the energy to figure it out, since I moved in the middle of writing it, and that was one of the most exhausting months of my life LOL.

♡ SMALL THINGS: pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite minor detail from it!

probably ben's obsession with the film Troy (2003)! i think it's really funny in an endearing way that he fancies himself a film enthusiast and his faves are like. the Boy Movies that every teenage guy has seen at least once hahahaha. But I also thought it was quite thematically pertinent to a story about two strong, successful athletes sidelined because of injuries. the achilles heel of it all lolol

Excerpt from chapter 4 (unedited and i haven't looked at this since august or something lol):

The sky was overcast when Ben finally pried himself out of bed the next morning. A thick blanket of grey clouds shrouded the sky, a welcome change from the unrelenting sun that had pressed down on him since the plane touched down. Miami without its clear skies and sunshine magnifying between mirror-sided skyscrapers was a tamer version of itself.

Like this, the city felt closer to London, closer to home. 

Ben yanked the curtains shut over the window. He didn’t want to look out of the window and see something close to home. He wanted to be there, in Surrey, with his dog and his friends and his sister, where he could forget every strange experience he’d had since arriving in Florida. 

Maybe in London it would be easier to pretend. 

At breakfast, Reece was in high spirits, bouncing on the balls of his feet and smiling brightly at the tired barista behind the counter before he’d had a sip of coffee. 

“So what’d you do last night?” Reece said, holding his latte in one hand and propping the cafe door open for Ben with the other. 

Ben shrugged. He didn’t resent the spring in Reece’s step but it had poor timing. Or rather the timing itself presented the problem, and Ben resented the deep-seated discomfort crawling beneath every inch of his skin that something which made his friend feel so good had put himself so ill at ease. 

“Nothing, really. Saw a film,” Ben said as they climbed into the rental car. To see how Reece would react, he added, “Came home early.”

“You did?” 

“I think you was still with your friend.” 

Reece nodded. He was driving, which gave him the advantage of not needing to meet Ben’s gaze. “Yeah, he, uh, stayed pretty late.”

“You must have had a lot to catch up on,” Ben said. 

What he really wanted out of Reece were details about the man who’d been in his suite last night, any sort of detail at all. He had a million burning questions and no real way to ask them directly. When did Reece meet him? Was he a random hookup, or had Reece been telling the truth when he’d said he was meeting someone he’d known for a while? Ben had once had a girlfriend in Miami, after all; it was possible that Reece had a boyfriend here. 

And what did Reece look for in men? Was the man broad and muscular like Reece or was he like Mase, slender like a woman, all angles but soft when you held him? What did they do in there, anyway? What did Reece like in bed? 

Everything about sex must be different when men fucked other men, it seemed. He wasn’t sure how to refashion his image of Reece to fit into a world he knew nothing about. 

(It occurred to Ben, latently, that in a way, he’d had sex with another man. Or rather had sex that involved another man, on the island with Sophie and Mase. But that had been different.)

“Been awhile since I seen him,” said Reece cautiously. “But he was only in Miami for the day, so he won’t be, like, hanging around.” 

Which was such a tangled load of near-truths that Ben’s ability to think of anything else was shot for the rest of the day. 

Leslie pushed him hard. He could tell she’d had enough of his lack of focus and commitment to his recovery. 

“Seriously, Ben, is something going on with you?” Leslie snapped at her most frustrated when, for the third time since lunch, Ben lost count of reps. “It’s like you come in more distracted every day.”

“Nothing,” Ben said, grabbing a nearby towel to dab sweat off his face. “Just—stupid personal drama.”

Leslie shook her head with limited sympathy. “You’re here to relax and recover, honey, not to fixate on shit happening across an ocean. Tell that crap it can wait until you’re home.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Ben said and started the exercise over, this time trying harder to track the reps in his head. But he wanted to say, what if it’s not happening across an ocean? What then? Because being here is not making my life less complicated, Leslie. And in fact I’d say its complicatedness has reached an all-time high. 

Ben struggled to fall asleep later that night. He tossed and turned, turned the aircon up and then down. He shuffled to the other side of the mattress. He fluffed his pillows. He threw all of the bedding except for the top sheet to the floor. He retrieved it and then grabbed the extra duvet from the cupboard. 

All that, and nothing, not even a fitful sleep. 

A few hours earlier, he’d been managing to hold himself together. Entire minutes had passed during which he didn’t think about Reece and the man in his bed at all. He and Reece went for dinner, eating dressed-up fish caught that morning and chatting easily as they always did. It felt normal.

The worst of himself had passed, Ben had thought, and from then onwards he’d be as chilled out and nonchalant as he should be. The random models and influencers and yoga instructors his other friends brought home had never been afforded a second thought. What did he care who Reece fucked? 

One day, Reece would come to Ben and tell the truth. Ben would look confident and unbothered as he laid a hand on his shoulder and said, I know. I’ve known since that holiday in Miami, and I never once thought of you differently. 

And it would almost be the truth. 

But then halfway through dinner, Reece left to use the toilet, abandoning Ben alone with his thoughts. Almost immediately a question crossed his mind and had lingered ever since: Did Reece want him? 

Then Ben was right back where he’d started. 

Ben shoved his head under his pillow and groaned. He felt so slimy and self-centred that it had occurred to him to wonder. Of course Reece didn’t want to fuck him. Ben didn’t want to chat up every girl he ever met, did he?

And if Reece did, it wouldn’t matter, since it wasn’t like Ben…. Well, of course Ben wasn’t….

There was a touch of jealousy underlying the curiosity, though, and that was undeniable. The two impulses—the need to know; the need for the answer to be yes, you and no one else—were a tangled mess in his chest, impossible to untwine. 

Ben rubbed his eyes. Stared at the ceiling. Get over yourself, he thought. 

He pulled up some lesbian porn on his phone and had a wank. The clench of his fist around his cock didn’t feel nearly as good as it had the night before, and he didn’t come. For a moment, though, the buzzing in his ears subsided, just enough to think of something else.

[echosoftheflower]

My unedited thoughts while reading the new chapter of IBVS, sorry if it's illegible.

SPOILERS FOR S2 CHAPTER 11

Has he just been summoning these things with out a book? Is he going off memory? It's would be so funny if this moron was a witchcraft prodigy

Who just randomly talks about this in school?

I feel bad for Isaac being worried about Drew telling his secrets but he's honestly being kinda unreasonable with this ignoring Drew.

Bro are they the only two at the table 💀 just move to the opposite side of another outcast table why take up the whole thing.

CHRIS FUVKING WOULD WITH HIS FOLLOWER MENTALITY

But Chris really isn't new? He came there in the fall. Does this school not have freshmen? (Recurring question)

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING! WHY IS THE ART ROOM STILL SCREWED 

It's nice to know Isaac was in a club but I do wish he talked with the other art students. Also, there are other art students!

Poor Isaac with his trauma from Chris ditching him.

God damn it Chris! Ok I need to talk about this.

Very quick summary of an analysis I'm planning on making of this man but he has like, chronic follower mentality. He will just listen to anyone who seems to have power. He joined Ed when asked because he's the king, he drifted towards Nevin because of his confidence, and now he's with Felix who has something to offer him. This stems as far back as Dylan's group, who were the trouble makers, and Freddie who was the popular kid. The only person who he was ever friends with who doesn't fall into one of these categories is Isaac, and we all see how he treats him. 

He didn't think twice? Aren't you friends with him?! Didn't you trust him at the start?! HES LITERAL DONE NOTHING TO YOU EVER?! YOUR LIKE THE ONLY ONE HES NEVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH!

didn't Isaac also tell him Felix almost killed him and the school almost sent him to the hospital after the fear demon fight? Is this Chris, once again ignoring everything Isaac says? This is like the "id rather skip class than believe the king would beat you up" all over again.

Man I can't believe Felix can remember all those food namesvand things.

The demon book is written by the Wolfe family? Volume 1?

Why does Barry just keep randomly appearing like this? And in full camo? Him and Ed really are similar. For whatever reason I get a bad feeling about him.

How does Drew keep turning into everyone's therapist, as much as I like Autumn and Issac I wish we could see them interact with Drew and actually look like they enjoy their time together.

Barry you are so strange

YEAS MY GENETIC THEORY

ROSE RIPPLE THEORY

It kinda bothers me he only ends up with Ed after he has no one else. But isward crumbs all the same

Aw he's so bored

Again?! These woods have seen things.

Aw he actually wants to hang out with him

"Learn to ask" Ok Edward "drags you into a closet" Quinton 

YES bringing up the two power thing! 

He's other power is definitely part of Sigma

Isaac backstory! Kinda sounds horrific.

YES EVEN THE ADRENALINE PART

it's the tree! :D

And that log would be Chris!

He shut down his huntch 😭

Still Purple huh? Gotta mean something.

FINALLY! CHARACTERS ACTUALLY GETTING ALONG!

he smiles so much in this scene :D

MONIKA AGAIN??

[articskele]

LOOKS AT YOU WITH MY BIG EYES. HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO MY INCOHERENT RAMBLES ABOUT M SEER VOICELINES. I CANNOT BE STOPPED

Seer: How do I reload? Agh-

Ok this one is just silly ouo. BUT it's actually explained by this convo!!

Professional: Look, maybe you should let me give you some marksmanship lessons. Yknow, improve your aim.

Seer: I don't know, that feels like it'd be quite unsporting.

Professional: Yeah, that's the whole point. Never give a heretic an even break, yknow.

Seer: Well, if you suppose I should! The problem is, I'm not allowed a gun on the Mourningstar. Or sharp objects! ^^

THEY DO NOTTT TRUST THIS MAN

Bully: You bored yet, spark'ead?

Seer: Me? Oh, I almost never get bored! If I do, my Beloved tells me a joke.

Bully: I like jokes.

Seer: Oh you wouldn't like these. Truth be told he's not very funny. But that's not the worst part.

Bully: Yeah? What's that?

Seer: Almost everyone thinks he's being serious! He's such a scamp!

THE FONDNESS IN HIS VOICE EVERYTIME HE TALKS ABOUT HIS BELOVED GRGHRGHRHGHRGH <3

Seer: I always wanted to paint in oils! But I s'pose blood might do >:D

This is an F Seer line BUT I'M STILL INCLUDING IT BECAUSE. HELLO. THE MENTAL IMAGE OF REMY PAINTING IN BLOOD IS BEING BEAMETHED INTO MINE CONSCIOUSNESS AS WE SPEAK

Seer: I like medals! And trophies! Eyeballs, fingers, afterimages of Terra :)

AND THE EYEBALLS AND FINGERS THING. LET'S TALK ABOUT THE EYEBALLS AND FINGERS THING. BECAUSE BOTH APPEAR IN OTHER CONVERSATIONS

Loose Cannon: You really gimme the creeps, yknew that?

Seer: Oh, that is nice. I think? Is it meant to be nice?

Loose Cannon: I guess it's one of those "eye of the beholder" things.

Seer: I don't see why you had to bring *eyeballs* into this, I was being perfectly civil.

YOU CAN JUST HEAR HIM DRAMATICALLY LOOK AWAY WITH CROSSED ARMS AND A SLIGHT POUT IN THAT LAST LINE

Makes ya wonder how on earth eyeballs became associated with scolding in his mind?? Maybe some kind of recurring threat like "if ya act out of line I'll cut your eyes out."

There is a similar line from the Fanatic, saying "I could cut your throat, that'd hush the voices!" Then again how is slitting someone's throat supposed to stop them from hearing thi- Oh wait. Dead. Ok yeah that checks out-

Seer: I see a realm of maaadness and despair; skies weeping blood, ancient stars burning...

Bully: You alright, spark'ead?

Seer: I think so, although it's a little bit hard to tell because I can't feel my fingers.

Bully: That don't sound good...

Seer: Ohhh nevermind, they weren't my fingers at all. I was only imagining them.

Bully: Rrright...

OK FIRST OF ALL, THE WAY HE SAYS "I WAS ONLY IMAGINING THEM". SECONDLY WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT. My first thought is that it's either his powers kicking in so that he's literally feeling the fingers (or lack thereof) of someone else, OR he's saying that his fingers aren't really his bc he's dreaming?

Fanatic: Ye smell that, kindred? There be heresy on the air!

Seer: Oh, I think that might be me, sorry! I haven't had time to wash the blood out of my clothes.

Fanatic: Och, stand away from me, man!

Seer: I feel safer here! ^^

HE'S SO SILLY I ADORE HIM. Also it's taking willpower to not put a :) or ^^ after everything he says bc YOU CAN JUST FEEL HIM SMILING AS HE TALKS AND I LOVE IT

[shinesurge]

between ko-fi and PayPal, which do you recommend more? I can't support just yet because I'm in a weird spot financially but once this stabalize I'd love to start throwing a few bucks your way

First, no worries at all dude I hope things level out soon! Please secure your own oxygen mask first lol

So the platform deductions and such between Ko-fi and Paypal are REALLY close, I think both end up taking around 5% while I get the rest last time I checked, and unlike Patreon neither will charge you any additional fees (for now hahaha) as far as I'm aware. Either is fine with me! The difference here is the interface; Ko-fi has built-in reward tier systems and a visible account you can attach additional data to, like a screenname. There's stuff like a messaging system and even a little supporter leaderboard, which I think is very funny at my level BUT it's a pretty cushy transition from Patreon if that's what you're used to! I'm /really/ enjoying it from my side so far, and even the shop has been a really comfortable switch from what I had before.

Paypal has NO bells or whistles and is almost basic to a fault, even editing a recurring donation involves just deleting the existing one and setting up another, and you'll have to email me if you wanna communicate with me or get me stuff like a mailing address/supporter credit. Which again is totally fine with me, but I know it can feel intimidating for some folks! The big upshot to Paypal is it's not a social media, it's a payment processor and That's It; you can probably just set up there and leave it alone regardless of what happens elsewhere. I'm sure Ko-fi will become unusable eventually and we'll all be doing this dance again in the future, assuming I am still here making things, but if Paypal goes down we probably have bigger problems lmao

Thanks so much for asking about this! I'm very sorry that supporting creators has gotten so stupidly complicated.

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

[steddieunderdogfics]

Today is all about @spicysix! In today's Mod Spotlight, we're highlighting Lui and all they bring to this space!!

Lui handles our Challenge Monday and Theme Weekend Days! They queue up and handle any initial recs for those days, as well as keeping track of how many recs we need for each day!

lui (she/they) has discovered fandom life over 13 years ago and went through multiple fandoms since then. currently focusing on Stranger Things, they're an occasional writer and avid reader, and a multishipper at heart - but Steddie is her favorite ship to read in the ST fandom. she took a role as a mod on Steddie Underdog Fics trying to embrace a side of fandom that they haven't before, and it's been a great to be a part of it!

Having Lui on the team has been a blessing! Not only is she easy to work with and so kind, she's really helped level up this space in so many ways. I'm so glad I get to work with her! - ohstars

As a part of our mod spotlight, Lui answered some questions from you all and our team! You can read them below.

Be sure to stay tuned for more recs and future mod spotlights in the future!

What drew you to Steddie?

The opposites-yet-so-similar situation they have going on. Rich guy versus poor guy? Popular versus the loser? Jock versus nerd? But both with hearts of gold… Self sacrificing idiots…. Older brother figures… Smart in some ways but stupid in others… Stuck to high school ideas and dynamics… All of it is tasty.

What is your favorite thing about modding this page?

Getting to know many new fics! My TBR list has grown over what I can manage since I’ve started modding. My companions, Stars and Shane are also amazing and it’s great working with them.

What are your favorite tropes to read?

Probably strangers or friends to lovers. Or like, a one sided rivalry (usually comes from Eddie, who haaaates King Steve while Just-A-Guy-Steve never thought about Eddie before the UD shit lmao). I’m also a sucker for Soulmates AU; and anyone who knows me knows this: my favorite EVER is the timeloop. Ugh. My beloved.

What is your preferred way to read and find fics?

I usually read (or put on my TBR list) whatever shows up on my timeline. From friends, mutuals, or reblogs. When I go straight to the Ao3 ship tag it’s usually to find a specific type of story to read before I sleep,, so I usually set the filters to completed, under 10k words, and no Explicit and go through whatever shows up.

What’s your guilty pleasure trope?

I no longer feel this feeling, but I have once been found feeling guilty for reading monsterfuckeries of omegaverse stuff. Omegaverse is not exactly my cup of tea, but sometimes it can be fun. Anyway, embrace the cringe.

What makes a fic an instant yes for you to read?

Well, timeloops as I’ve said, mutual pining, a good ol’ roadtrip fun. And happy endings. Sorry, but sad endings are a no-go to me.

Anonymous - Is there any older or lesser-known Steddie event from the past few years that you particularly love (if ongoing or recurring) or loved? Did you participate in any?

Hmm no, not that I can think of! Our fandom is very creative so we have amazing events all year round, thankfully! I also haven’t participated in any Steddie specific events because, funny enough, Steddie is the ship that I write the least for (even though it’s the one I read the most! lol)

@sidekick-hero - What makes a fanfic stand out for you?

I think characterization and lots and lots of emotion. With big ships like Steddie, it’s easy for us to fall into different characterizations and sometimes we write them almost as OCs - and that’s not a problem at all, I’m in the team “write whatever you love”, I wouldn’t even call it “mischaracterization”. But when a fic is able to stay within the character’s traits, it tastes better lmao Especially if the side characters are well written – it’s often hard for people who focus on a specific ship to be able to write well the side characters or even care about them and in a fandom like ST specially I think the other relationships are just as important as the main romantic one. I also really love when a fic makes me cry until I have a headache.

@worldswcollide - What advice would you give to someone who is interested in becoming a mod in the future?

Only do it if you know you have the time to dedicate to it. It’s very upsetting to rely on someone only for them to never dedicate themselves fully to a commitment they made on their own choice. You also have to like what you’re doing. If you’re on a project like ours, you have to like this reccing interaction. If you’re on a bigbang project, you have to like being that leader and organizing dates and putting people in contact with each other. And it goes on, but you have to enjoy what you’re doing or you’re gonna resent it and other people involved will know. We always do.

Anonymous - Do you participate in any other fannish activities, like making playlists, gif edits, fanart, podcasts, Pinterest boards, etc?

Not anything that I share, no. I sometimes do moodboards or playlists specifically for my own fics, but besides that, writing and modding, I don’t do any other type of art (bc I lack talent and/or will to learn lol).

@sidekick-hero - What motivates you to mod for steddieunderdogfics?

The idea of shedding a spotlight on fics that can pass by unnoticed, I think. In a big ship like Steddie, that’s easy to happen because we’re two years past Eddie’s first appearance and we still get dozens of fics posted per day!! Being more in touch with the community in this way is fun!

@worldswcollide -  Are there skills you’ve learned as a mod that have helped you in your everyday life?

I think every time you have to work in a group you learn something new, because it’s always new people and new ways to work with them. But I can’t think of anything specific, you know?

Anonymous - Have you had a particular favorite Challenge Monday or weekend theme so far (maybe because of the theme, the recs, or the engagement, or for some other reason)?

Well. Timeloops Theme Weekend for starters of course lmao. I also loved all the engagement and recs we’ve had for fics with podfics challenge, even though I don’t listen to podfics (or podcasts at all lmao) I was happy to see people showing our podfic people the due praise! Fics with colors in the title was also a challenge that we’ve had so many recs we’re still queueing them till this day basically lol. It’s always amazing when we receive a lot of recs and responses.

@sidekick-hero - What do you like best about fandom?

That’s a hard one. But I think the general sense of so many people of different ages and places in the world come together to show love to an art or artist. There’s something so simple and beautiful about that. Dedicating our free time to talk, praise, watch, listen, create fanart for something! It gives me the good chills.

@worldswcollide - If you absolutely HAD to choose—enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? (At least when it comes to Steddie)

Ohhhhmygod why would you do this to me!!!!!!! I’m gonna go with friends to lovers because that is also what I love the most in real life I think – the mutual pining, the obliviousness, the potential angst while they don’t confess, all the little moments they have together, the always presents “you are so dense and blind and stupid and dinguses” from Robin… Love that, yeah.

Anonymous - Has your experience as a fic rec mod changed your perception of fandom (positive or negative, though I do hope positively!), either as a whole or specifically for the Steddie fandom?

Oh, I definitely have a lot more respect for modders now lmao Not that I didn’t before, but it’s always different when you see it/do it yourself. It takes a lot of dedication and organization.

@sidekick-hero - What makes modding fun to you?

Honestly in this specific case, I absolutely love the routine process of formatting the recs lmao I genuinely have fun with it. But also, to see the interactions, how people talk about the fics they’re reccing on their asks, and also I love going through the tags on reblogs and seeing people praising the fics or seeing the author so happy with the recs. It all warms my heart.

@worldswcollide - What has surprised you the most since becoming a mod?

How this fandom is still so alive!!! It’s insane to think Eddie was first shown to us two years ago already and people are still in love with him and the idea of making him and Steve kiss. The creativeness of this fandom, the many fics we get with so many different tropes, AUs, all the different situations we keep putting those blorbos in. How, even within the same trope, different authors can always put their own little things onto their fics and even when they’re similar, no two fics are ever written the same way.

Anonymous - Do you find yourself engaging in reading and writing differently now (for any fandom) because of your work as a mod, or have you changed how you interact with others in fandom spaces?

I feel like I comment more, especially on fics that have less comments or interactions overall.

@sidekick-hero - What makes you fall in love with a fanfic?

I think I said in a previous answer, the characterization but also the way a fic is written. Like, if it’s through Eddie’s POV I love when authors use a kind of fast paced writing with no pauses and many thoughts happening at the same time while he has a hard time thinking about something specific or focusing on only one thing and and and– cause I feel like Eddie’s head is a mess like that. When it’s a fix-it, how the author manages to save everything, how they pass on the grieving and bad feelings of being part of an apocalypse. When they remember the characters are all just kids. When they give them a break. If it’s an AU, how they put our boys out of the apocalyptic situation, how they make Steve still be Steve when he’s just a baker or a teacher or a nurse and not a high school jock with a savior complex anymore. Those little big details.

Anonymous - Do you try to read through every rec or have you found yourself wanting to read more recs than you can keep up with?

Absolutely the second option lmao Also there are a few themes/tropes that are not my cup of tea, so they don’t go to my TBR list, but the list is still huge anyway lmao But I love learning about new works and writers even if I don’t have the time to read them!

Today, all of our recs are from @spicysix specifically! You can always see their recs on our Fic Fridays by checking our #mod lui rec tag.

[adultswim2021]

The Boondocks #41: “Lovely Ebony Brown” | July 11, 2010 - 11:30PM | S03E11

Half-assing this write-up, just giving you a heads up. In this one Granddad has sex. 

In this episode Robert Freeman, also known as “granddad" of "granddad has sex” fame, starts dating a woman who is simply too good to be true. Most of the humor comes out of these fairly isolated but recurring moments of double entendre meta-commentary about the show itself, with this woman saying she wants to become a character in their lives, a “recurring character”, if you will. She’s basically dating the show itself, and commenting on the fact that the show will probably not be on for very much longer. You know, stuff like that. 

Sorta found this one to be light on laughs, but, being white, I did laugh at the Ferris Bueller reference. Matthew Broderick killed a couple of people with his car in 1987, severely injuring Jennifer Gray in the process. Matthew Broderick has atoned for this by being in a sexless marriage with Sarah Jessica Parker. May he never see the light of heaven and may he exist eternally in his current state of hell. He is a bastard

EPHEMERA CORNER:

MAIL BAG:

Sorry for being bad about updating, but my job immediately started making me do homework as soon as I started doing this again. It’s not that much, and will be over soon. Most of this is me having a attitude problem. Hey… let’s answer some letters shall we 😎

Sometimes I think you take delight in saying "no" to stuff people ask you without actually considering why you are saying "no". I know you grew up on Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions but I think it's getting a little tiresome.

Was more of a Cracked Magazine Shut Ups kinda guy but to be honest saying no can cut either way. Sometimes it feels like giving up. Sometime it feels like I'm freeing myself from the burden of effort. But sometimes, and this is very important, no simply means no.

Are the Boondocks the only black people you like? Do they put the BLM in your jixBLMy? Does calling you jixby or even jixblmy count as doxing. If so PLEASE CENSOR IT, I don't want you to get banned on X.

X is the everything app created by Elon Musk and his friend Donald Trump. Unfortunately both are racist and it's weird to be talking about them. Why are you doing this

Ephemera corner for children's hospital those guided by voices videos rob corddry and his brother were in. Don't remember what year sorry

Okay, here it is

I think the paper guys on Frankenhole was a way to save money to easily create new characters by printing out some paper and folding them up. Personally I think it's racist for wh*te people to appropriate the japanese art of origami so I hate it

Thank you Kon (this is kon by the way), yes, I for some reason did not think of this. This show reminds me of a time when it was still fun to use the printer on something.

From what I remember Children's Hospital could be fun and funny but it's setting isn't really a deep enough well. Might as well turn The Californians into an adult swim show (or the Kissing Family if that's not Wainy enough)

David Wain directing a kissing family movie would be a match made in heaven. It's one of the few reasons to be happy that heaven doesn't exist.

[rose-by-every-other-name]

warning for rose being angry about wof book 10. sorry if i got too angry here i just have thoughts about this. i'd recommend not reading this if you like book 10.

the more i think about Darkness of Dragons the more angry i get. character assassination is too mild of a word. there is so much "he would not say that" "she would not say that" honestly there's a lot of stuff in book 10 that i just don't consider canon to the characters. book 9 is already on thin ice to me with animus magic being wildly overpowered (this was already set up in Escaping Peril, as well as the Darkstalker book, but this is where that overpoweredness becomes really obvious in the story) as well as... ok honestly most of what i dislike about book 9 that i can think of right now can be boiled down to "animus magic OP pls nerf."

book 10 has moon and qibli being jerks to winter. it has personality traits getting thrown out the window for the sake of the love triangle. (this is a recurring problem in the series!!! and i hate it!!!) i feel like moon spends 90% of the book going "but i can fix him!!!!!" (edit to clarify: this is about her attitude towards Darkstalker) which is like. ok there's potential to explore there with how Moon gets caught up in dragons' thoughts over their actions but then Qibli decides that Moon gets the protagonist morality pass and can do no wrong instead of helping her realize that, yes, Darkstalker did in fact just attempt to commit genocide and the first priority should be stopping him. book 10 has kinkajou victim-blaming winter in the epilogue. oh yeah also book 10 has kinkajou deciding that the right way to deal with darkstalker is to erase his powers, his memory, change him from being half IceWing to half RainWing because she was like "yeah that'll be funny." like idk so much of the Jade Winglet's journey is about growing and changing and becoming better and i'm totally on board with getting rid of Darkstalker's abilities because he's doing a lot of harm with them but the whole Peacemaker thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

[inconsistentlywrittensoul]

random 'Inca Mummy Girl' thoughts:

In the museum, Buffy is disappointed her friends think she solves all her problems with violence. Then later, Giles agrees to let her go to the dance to end their training session, because when she trains while angry she unintentionally hurts him. Her response: "Yay! I win :)". Don't know if I have anything to say about that, but I'm definitely paying more attention to Buffy's characterisation on this rewatch, and noticing more of her Faith-like traits.

I think of Xander's jealousy over Buffy as a Season One thing, but it seems to be sticking around, and I am extremely tired of it. Hope it doesn't last much longer.

The Scoobies' assumption that Ampata can translate an ancient Incan relic just because they're South American is so wild I struggle not to read it as a joke at their expense. (Though given the show's approach to other cultures - as exemplified by this episode especially - it almost certainly isn't.)

It's interesting that this episode doesn't try to play itself as a mystery - the audience is never kept in the dark about what's happening, even as the Scoobies are. It's much to the episode's benefit - it allows Ampata to be an actual character, where a mystery would likely keep her at too much of a distance. It doesn't just make her sympathetic - it makes her a viewpoint character, which makes the Buffy parallels much more tangible.

Speaking of which, this episode has a Garth Marenghi approach to subtext, but honestly I kind of like that. It's nice to have subtext even I can notice sometimes.

I didn't remember going in that Oz first appeared in this episode, so that was a nice surprise. But then seeing Jonathan was even more of one - I really wasn't expecting to see him so soon. Strange that such a small role became a recurring character when so many Sunnydale students appear in one episode and then are immediately forgotten about, but I guess he does give a good, distinctive performance.

Sorry Buffy, but "I'll say one thing for you Incan mummies - you don't kiss and tell," is just a terrible quip. And you can tell Buffy was thinking of it on the journey - as she runs to the museum she's thinking to herself 'I need to say something funny about kissing, I guess?', and she does a bad job. I think she needs to take some improv classes or something if she's gonna keep doing this.

[hekcart]

This post is brought to you by me writing an agenda me and an @frootsluggs have

You're warning before reading this 🪳 🐀

The two were laying on the couch, Wukong on top of the other as Macaque carded a hand through his fur, his brows furrowing at him in thought. The orange simian eventually noticed the look and tilted his head at him, causing two of hairs to stick up a bit and making the macaque snort.

"What's so funny?" Wukong raised an amused brow, sitting up a bit.

"My lil cockroach~" Macaque cooed, messing with his hair to stick it up again while the other stared at him with such an offended look. 

He busted out laughing as Wukong realized and swatted his hands away sputter, "HEY!! That's-!"

"What~?" He looked up at him all smuggly, "I think it's cute, suits you~"

He looked at him exasperated, bewildered even as he let out a lil snrk, "I'm sorry??"

"Well you surely don't go away like one," he casually tried to slide his hands back up him.

He flustered a bit, trying not to melt into the touch as he kept a pissed face, "And what's that supposed to mean??"

"You're hard to get rid of" he shrugged, "hard to kill too"

He deadpanned, "I am NOT a cockroach."

"Maybe you could… I dunno… consider you are? Just a lil?" He had reached the others neck, moving to massage the back of it a little, to hide his intent.

He melted a bit, sighing out softly, "I'm not a cockroach Macaque. I'm a monkey, m o n k e y." he spelt out.

"Mmhhmm," he hummed, casually moving his hands back up into his hair, watching the other melt more, "you are, absolutely." And then he flicked but up two hair pieces, making them like antennas, "a cockroach~"

"THAT'S IT!" 

And before Macaque could take it back Wukong had turned into a cockroach, the black simian scrambling back with a startled noise before he gagged when he realized Wukong had already made into his fur.

"FOUL, YOU'RE FOUL!" he yelled, continuing to gag. He could swear he heard that lil asshole laughing.

—

It was two in the morning when Wukong woke up due to lack of warmth. Not the first time of course, but certainly still just as dismaying. He let out a big sigh, laying there for a moment before dramatically dragging himself out of bed and heading to the kitchen. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he headed down the hall.

Once he reached the kitchen his ear twitched when he heard an inconspicuous rustling sound. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he flicked on the light, only to be greeted with Macaque whipping his head up from his spot on the counter. Purple meeting gold eyes like he had caught the man red handed, this was a recurring instance.

Wukong stared for a moment before snorting and moving to lean against the doorframe with his arms crossed, "Looks like I got a rat problem."

It took the other a moment to register what he had said, but when he did? It was his turn to look offended, "Did you just call me a rat???" 

"Did I?" And with that Wukong just looked at his claws, flicking out imaginary dirt from under it, "all I said was I had a problem.. but if you wanna conclude your rat then well..~" and then he looked at him smug, "squeak squeak rat boy~"

Macaque stares at him, mouth agape in FULL offense, "I- I'm sorry????"

"Would you like some cheese to go with those chips?" He asked casually.

"I-" and he had to blink for a moment, setting his chips down before pointing at Wukong, "now you listen here-"

"Sorry, I didn't think cockroaches could hear from here."

He stared again before letting out an amused huff, "alright alright, I deserved that, hardy har har now quit it! I'm not a rat I'm more like a-"

"Cat?"

"I mean yea, and either way I'd still be cuter then you so-"

"COCKROACHES ARE CUTE!"

"THEY ARE NOT! ONLY A COCKROACH WOULD THINK THAT WUKONG!"

"I AM NOT A COCKROACH!!"

"The allegations speak for themselves."

And Wukong huffed, rolling his shoulders back before going, "Alright. Alright. Will play this game"

"Please don't turn into a roach again-"

[lividria]

10 followers woohoo

i now have 10 followers that aren't whatever cheezbot is and my punching bag from discord, and i still find it funny i've interacted more with this one person who will just appear on my metroid posts sometimes usually to argue about lore and someone who i somehow see a new post from every time i check tumblr more than like all of my followers combined, whoops

i guess this is as good a time as any to talk about like my recurring post topics and give an update on all of those with where they're all that, i genuinely don't know if anyone cares about them but i'm going to pretend they do because it makes me feel nice, if you care about any of the following and want to provoke me into talking about them more send me an ask that'll probably do it

i know that in the grand scheme of things this number is meaningless but it means something to me okay let me have this

i'm working on Something Pretty Big for vivlore right now which is why i haven't been posting about it more i promise i'll get to it, it's just... there's a lot to cover which is a daunting task and i'm already trying to cover it all again with my S.P.B. i just mentioned which is a higher priority than tumblr posts

i'm more or less out of ideas for metroid posts besides following up on the metroid menace saga and posts about some joke ideas i've had for intentionally shitty sequel concepts, and it will probably stay this way until prime 4 or a prime 2 remaster drops or i go back and finish super/replay dread or prime 1, i feel kinda bad because i know metroid is why i got most of my followers but yea

i genuinely forgot to follow up on my big pikmin posts about Pikmin: Global Survey and the Sparkly Wraith theory, I still have so much more to say about GS and so much to say about my theories for what the apocalypse in the Pikmin world was (assuming it wasn't the Sparkly Wraith lol), I just haven't really felt like it since I think I'm out of my Pikmin hyperfixation for real now, but I plan on replaying 3DX & 4 soon and the creator of pikmin echo is seemingly back from a several month absence so that may reignite my interest enough to get the engine running on my shit

i have tons of story ideas, tons of game ideas, i just haven't really been in the mood to write them out yet but i promise i've got some really good shit, though don't expect me to follow them up with actually writing/making them, if i'm going to manifest an idea i have it'll be vivlore first, so to the hypothetical person who wanted me to write Alien Exorcist for real i'm sorry but you're out of luck write it yourself

i have a lot more Funny Stories i can tell, i just have to feel like it, or i'll just have to experience more, given that i'm still working through the new games i got for my birthday a month ago so those probably aren't going anywhere

there are a couple other one-offs i meant to make a recurring thing, like Midnight Deranged Thoughts and out of context discord screenshots of my friends and i, that i just didn't, i just need to feel like making follow-ups lol

and there's other stuff i plan on making a series, like talking about my dreams i have for example, i just need to figure stuff out for those and also be in the mood, like i'll have to re-type my notes from my dreams to fit my tumblr post style which will be a pain for the longer ones but the longer ones are the interesting ones i'd be talking about, and that kind of specific problem applies to a lot of my future post series ideas

so uh, yeah, that's all i think, i know that all of the posts i actually put effort into are the least popular ones i do but it's nice to get that stuff off my chest and into the void, i just like writing even if it's not writing writing, and maybe one day someone will find and appreciate my posts idk

tl:dr More Shit Soon I Promise Lol

[sadhaappreciationsociety]

Divinity Rambling

Divinity: Original Sin 2 may be an overall middling game to me now (I have too many problems with the game and Larian as a whole), but Larian knows how to design good lizard people. Sadha is of course great, my own version of her amazing. :D I still care about Sadha, the lizard people, Sadha, the modding community, and Sadha these days. :) Of the Divinity series, Divine Divinity (the first game) is easily my favorite and I think it's the best game Larian has made. The game still has lots of of problems though. D:OS1 has better gameplay and tone than D:OS2, but D:OS2 has more robust modding, Sadha, and the first playable instance of the lizards. Dragon Commander is alright, but can be a slog and is rough around the edges. Divinity 2 (separate from D:OS2) is just rough in a bad way. It's got its strong points, but it's overall just too jank, weird, imbalanced (a common Larian problem), etc. to enjoy too much. I haven't played Beyond Divinity, but I hear it's pretty bad, if not just rough. Overall my preference for the games go: DD > D:OS1 > D:OS2 > DC > D2.

Larian sometimes is on the cusp of greatness, but never goes all the way (plus there's some design decisions they do that I'm not a fan of). A recurring problem they have is almost half-assing the late and/or endgames of all their games and commitment to having little consistency. Their earlier Divinity games where more consistent between and within themselves, though they still weren't great on that front. However, as time went on, they got less and less consistent. And then with D:OS2, they just threw pretty much all consistency out the window and made the game glaringly inconsistent within itself. It also doesn't help that D:OS2 takes itself more seriously (by which "serious" generally means edgelord stuff instead of anything meaningful) which just makes the inconsistencies more prominent (The earlier games being less serious helped take the brunt off this. And even then they could be serious without getting edgy for the sake of it.). I also feel like Larian's writing got worse with D:OS1 and 2. The earlier games have some genuinely clever/funny jokes among other things, which is less prominent with D:OS1 and especially 2. This combined with the aforementioned inconsistencies leads to a pretty bland, bog-standard setting with little depth when it comes to Divinity. If Larian cared more on this front, they could actually make a more interesting setting for their more serious direction now. But they don't even really try. I hardly expect total consistency (especially in a video game where gameplay generally comes first), but Larian, you could've *tried*.

I haven't played much of Baldur's Gate 3 as it didn't resonate with me, but at least Larian's writing team seems a bit less edgy for the sake of it, I guess? (At least they can appeal my scalie-side still.)

Sorry for the mostly-directionless rant. Feel free to respond/react as you like. And thanks for reading it. :)

[cobalt-knave]

And the poll has finished! Roughly 1 in 4 of you were correct in your choice. I made that one up. Let's break them all down for my amusement, shall we?

griffin's pc turns into a plant

Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Knight in Absentia of the Realm of Goodcastle. TAZ Graduation has such a special place in my heart.

Griffin: Uhh... okay. I have to roll a 1d100, which takes a second. Fuck me. Travis: What happened, Griffin? Griffin: Uh, okay. So I rolled a 41. [clears throat] Travis: Uh-huh? Griffin: And... [laughs] I'm sure I look all like, sagacious and shit, as people are like, watching me like, really harness my arcane energies to do this like, pretty phenomenal magical feat. Like, cancelling out the domination magic of a demon prince, I imagine it’s like, robes billowing around me. Some real fuckin‘ Gandalf the White comin‘ over the hill shit. And then I turn right into a potted plant. ... Fitzroy: [bubbling noise] That was... banana cakes! That was absolutely wild! I had chlorophyll! I had sap! I had SAP, everybody! --TAZ Graduation, episode 24 "With Frenemies Like This"

Travis's pc has an accent "thick enough to mortar bricks"

Devo La Main of TAZ Ethersea has a fantasea french accent that an NPC (not saying who for spoiler reasons) described as "thick enough to mortar bricks together"

Clint's pc joins a secret society and immedietly gets a tattoo about it

Argonaut Keene of TAZ Graduation joined the Unbroken Chain

Travis's pc becomes a Brand Ambassador (and really commits to it)

Devo La Main of TAZ Ethersea solved his debt problem by becoming a stylish brand ambassador of Nermal's Pile.

Devo: Can I say one other important thing? Hermine: Okay, go. Devo: Have you ever shopped at Nermal’s Pile? It is great, I think you are a person with good taste. I… Clint: [laughs and claps] Devo: I appreciate your accessories. And I just wanted to know if you— It is where young beautiful people like me like to shop. Griffin: [giggles] Devo: You should check out Nermal’s Pile. Griffin: [laughing] Make a persuasion check. Justin: Why— why is this— I’m sorry, I’m missing a beat here. Why is this happening? Travis: Oh— Griffin: Oh, because Devo is a brand ambassador for Nermal’s Pile. Clint: Yeah! Justin: Oh, right! [laughing] Okay! This is gonna be a recurring thing! Griffin: Holy fucking shit! Travis: I got a 25 --TAZ Ethersea, episode 22

Off brand Shrek is revealed to be Off brand Batman

Just what it says on the tin. TAZ Steeplechase is one of a kind. I'm not elaborating; you need to experience it for yourself.

French onion soup is used to level up the characters

TAZ Amnesty!

Duck: No, uh, there’s not. It’s a pretty uh, straight up-and-down place. What they do have, though, and I’ll— I’ll order for the both of us. Specifically… the greatest French Onion soup you’ve ever had in your entire life. Ned: Now don’t play with me. Duck: I know, Ned, I know. I know it sounds like a big swinging for the prince— the fences promise, and I know that you’ve traveled all over this, uh, this beautiful country of ours, but I’m telling you: It’s the best French Onion soup I’ve ever had in my entire life. Funny enough, I, I got the recipe once. The chef, uh, Hubert, I gave him a jump when his Camri was dead back in, I guess it was probably ‘06, ‘07. And I traded in the recipe for a jump. Now I would’ve given him the jump anyway, but you know, I decided to make a run for it. --TAZ Amnesty, episode 12

The gang briefly and unintentionally adopts a human child

This one is the lie! I didn't count Beck since they didn't adopt her, so much as briefly interact with her, and Devo looks out for her on the side. I hadn't been thinking of her specifically when coming up with this either.

Two of Clint's pcs have handlebar mustaches

Argo Keene of TAZ Graduation and Emerich Dreadway of TAZ Steeplechase!

Clint: He’s got long dark blue hair tied back, like in a tail, like a ponytail kinda deal. And a handlebar mustache, he’s got a cool— Travis: Woah. Griffin: Oh no. You had me until the— Clint: Handlebar mustache! Very dashing. --TAZ Graduation, episode 1

Clint: His only affectation to fashion, I guess, or to stand out, is it’s a really beautiful mustache. Curled up on the ends. And he loves to wear coveralls. --TAZ Steeplechase, episode 4

There are no fewer than four npcs named justin

TAZ Steeplechase, baybee! It's a hard world out there, making up names and voices for characters...

I have kindly made an audio supercut of 4 Justins here.

there is a rabbit with a phd

Dr. Harris Bonkers, PHD of TAZ Amnesty! He's a bunny!

Inspired by @anistarrose 's poll because I found it so utterly delightful that I had to make one of my own