#sorry i’ve been such a hater lately. surely looking through the tag of my favorite game will fix me

[computercreature]

gonna be real honest when toby fox said the amount of fans undertale got gave him anxiety i don’t think he was trying to say the fandom is full of freaks and i think it’s weird when people assume he stays out of the public view because he hates aus or shipping or whatever. he literally made a game about accepting people who are different from you and too many fans decided the fandom was “toxic” over harmless fun

[melsie-sims]

Check in tag!

Thanks @zosa95 for the tag! It’s been a long while since I’ve done something like this! 💙

Why did you choose your URL? My IRL nickname is Mel and my middle initial is C. Combined, it sounds like Mel-sie. Those of you that are pronouncing it with a hard S are technically wrong but that’s okay. I think most of you probably imagine it as Mel-Zee at this point. 😂

How long have you been on Tumblr? I've had this specific Simblr account since May 22nd 2020, so almost two years now. I had a personal trash tumblr before that I’ve since abandoned. I’m sure it’s been over five years since I originally joined the platform. 

Do you have a queue tag? All of my posts are queued by default. I don’t... just post. The only ones that aren’t are reblogs and “just chatting” posts.

Why did you start your blog in the first place? I wanted to share my sims content, write stories and meet other simmers. Mostly I wanted a place to dump all of my sims screenshots.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp? I really need to update it since it isn’t autumn anymore... but Winona is one of my favorite sims and I thought an orange/autumn theme would look cute. That was last September. 

Why did you choose your header? Same as above!

What's your post with the most notes? OK I’m really dumb, but how do you find this out?? I did go through the last couple weeks’ of posts and found this one had double my usual notes so...

How many mutuals do you have? I follow a lot of people and have a little over 500 followers so... I’m sure some of you I probably follow back?

How many followers do you have? 554! 

How many people do you follow? 493!

Have you ever made a shitpost? Nothing to cause drama/target other simmers... but I have whined about EA a few times. 😂

How often do you use Tumblr? It varies, but lately pretty much every single day. I open the app whenever I’m bored to look at posts... and add to my queue after every play session... so sometimes daily? Sometimes every few days? 

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Noooo. I’m not good with conflict so I’m very grateful for this! I’ve been fortunate not to get any trolls or haters in my comments section so far. 

How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts? I don’t really know what those posts are? If they’re the posts asking for money for so-and-so reasons, usually involving very personal life struggles... then I ignore those... sorry. I don’t reblog a lot. If I like a story/challenge/series I’ll reblog the first post and link to the story/challenge/series’ tag. I also reblog some cc.

Do you like tag games? YES! I love them and definitely don’t do them often enough! I do take a while to reply sometimes though... but definitely don’t hesitate to tag me! I don’t mind at all! 💙💙

Do you like ask memes? Probably? I don’t know what those are. I know, I’m a terrible member of the community. I don’t know anything! 

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I don’t really keep track of notes... but lately I think @eurosimmer has been doing pretty amazing!? 

Do you have a crush on a mutual? Pffft wouldn’t you like to know. 😏

And that’s it!! I’m tagging @cyazurai, @gutsberries, @witheringsims, @eurosimmer, @micrathene-w & @katmk36. Feel free to ignore this if you’ve already been tagged or don’t feel like answering. 

[gravitasfalls]

A rant on fandom etiquette, the GF fandom, and what they did 4 years ago (and now)

By now, my “bullshit” tag has refuted most of the ridiculous hot takes, fun policing, and harassment that fans of Stanford Pines have had to face from the wider Gravity Falls fandom. But these rebuttals fall short of naming the real problem with anti-Ford wank: we never should have seen it in the first place.

People might have genuinely forgotten this, but fandom used to have etiquette against character hate. We called it “wank” and “bashing” instead of dignifying it as “discourse”. As late as 2014, fandoms on this very site had “X hate” or “anti-X” tagging systems for blacklisting, as courtesy to people who liked X thing...

...a far cry from GF fans of 2015 demonizing Ford in the most inexplicable ways, making every post a platform for that, siccing their followers on anyone fully positive about him, then pretending that never happened post-finale as they continue the bashing more insidiously to this day.

Like, what even was that? There’s a lot to unpack in those people’s arguments but let’s just throw out the whole suitcase.

(Under the cut: Snapshots of discourse I shouldn’t have had to put up with over the years, and snark-based coping with that. It gets ugly, you’ve been warned.)

Ford is irredeemable/deserves to suffer, why he didn’t even thank Stan!!1

Thanks I hate it! “It” being your apparent decision that, because you can’t make the fictional character suffer, real people who like him are the next best thing.

Ford is egotistical! Have I mentioned on literally every post I think his only trait is “egotistical”?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. But while that is just, like, your opinion man, you’re entitled to it on your own posts; you’re falsely entitled about it by forcing it on dissenters’ posts and inboxes.

*dumps negativity into inboxes anyway*

Your Hot Takes have disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass.

You really think Ford is some kind of hero?

Only after you told me I wasn’t Allowed to see him as one and I Examined My Desires™ like you demanded! Funny how critical thinking ≠ agreeing with you.

Ford is your favorite? WHY DO YOU HATE MABEL.

Better question, why are you copying “WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA” logic? 9/11 did fan drama I swear

Ford is NOT PURE OF HEEEAAART, so you have to Constantly Explicitly Acknowledge his Sins and interrogate what relating to him says about you.

I got no friends ‘cause they read the papers. It’s funny, actually, projecting onto him got me dangerously close to processing some negative experiences from my past... good thing I have you here to shut those thoughts down <3 Thanks for saving me from myself uwu

If you just want to project onto a comfort character in peace, Stan is right there! His lack of fantasy elements makes him more relatable anyway!

Ford brought Bill’s manipulation on himself!

Damn fandom, back at it again with the GROSS VICTIM BLAMING

FFS why is this take as prominent now as ever??? at least the outlandish criticisms were funny, this one just makes me want to be dead.

Ford is abusive/manipulative because he doesn’t make fun of Dipper/ made a case for his apprenticeship/ called Mabel good/ complimented her personality!

(Yes, people did these mental gymnastics; yes, my soul left my body instantly.)

STOP trying to justify Ford’s actio-ma’am this is an Arby’s. also:

Ford is the Epitome of Toxic Masculinity, if you defend him either he’s your Male Power Fantasy or you’re a ditzy fangirl broad with ovaries for brains!

Ah yes, the two genders. Pack it in, everyone, we’ve reached peak feminism and patriarchy is over.

Someone negativity-tagged my Ford post, WTF?! I’m not “anti-Ford”, I’m “pro Ford-learning-a-lesson”!

And pro his-fans-never-having-a-moment-of-peace, apparently! Sorry I assumed you were a hater by your complete lack of positive things to say about him tho

Ford is a sociopath/deserves death for having no empathy!

"Tumblr is as ableist as any majority-conservative site," I say into the mic. The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room. "You’re right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 3rd row stands: tumblr.

*Dozens of 10000+ note posts calling Ford stupid, manipulative, solely at fault for everything that went wrong, other inanities*

(This is the fandom that made me get Xkit. I’m sure hundreds of my 1000+ blocked posts are theirs.)

If you like Ford on any terms but ours then I’m sorry, but Gravity Falls just isn’t for you, k?

I don’t have a flippant response to this one. Just... stop. No one has to agree with you about this character; no, nor with me. No one even has to engage with fandom moralistically; I promise it wouldn’t hurt anyone if I were to watch this show without having to Interrogate its Morality. It wouldn’t even hurt if people voiced character hate within reasonable bounds of tagging, as I’ve said. But instead they spread it like the plague in the name of Purity and insinuated (using ages-old “ur a fake fan!!1″ no less) that we don’t get to have outlets. I’m tired.

Look at my hilarious/satisfying art of Ford saying OOC strawman things, Stan beating him up, the kids turning their backs on him! (Srsly look at it I’ve put it in all the tags)

You’re madness, Gravity Falls fandom. Virulent madness. And everything you touch dies with you.

This is only a fraction of shit we’ve had to wade through, practically every day while the show was running. You couldn’t avoid it if you followed popular blogs. I saw the best meta writers of my fandom dogpiled by BNFs, dragging themselves through the blue hellsite at dawn looking for a fix-it fix. And people now expect me to believe it was “just Discourse” or that anything equivalent happened “in reverse” toward Stan. If I didn’t know better that they don’t know better, I’d call gaslighting.

I don’t expect to change anything. In fact, until this blog’s next go-around I don’t intend on seeking out new content anymore. I can’t keep looking at a fandom where the consensus on a canonically abused character’s victimization is that it was stupid, funny, a moral failing, or deserved, and expect anything to improve.

But to anyone else these people hurt: your anger or upset is valid, and I’m sorry. None of us deserved this. And I’m not letting it follow me into the next decade and make me forget why I liked this show in the first place, even if the only way to do that right now is cut off from the fandom a bit. I’m telling you, it never should have come to that. I don’t know if negativity-tagging can ever catch on here, considering tumblr has no boundaries by design and fandom no boundaries by choice... but for the sake of everyone who comes next, Gravity Falls fandom, make an effort.

[yaboylevi]

Hello there! I couldn't help but notice that salty anon asking about your stance on Levi so I'll ask again because it sure sounds interesting! Do you mind telling us how you feel about him?

Okay, so the original question from a dumb hater was how I could even support a romantic ship between Eren and Levi if I am not a Levi fan*.

*If a ”Levi fan”, like that idiotic anon meant, is someone who excuses all of Levi’s bad behaviors, then no, I am not a fan.

Premise no.1: I’ve loved Levi for so many years, he’s been part of my twitter handle in the past, is in my Tumblr url, icons on various social media, I have a lot of merchandise and not only for “the sake of the ship”. I genuinely used to love him to the point that he was my favorite character alongside Eren, I couldn’t pick one. So I guess I am a bit of a fan, after all.

Premise no.2: I am a gigantic bag of salt about this topic so tread carefully if you’re easily offended. I won’t sugarcoat my VERY BIASED opinions, and if you strongly disagree, that’s perfectly fine. I won’t change my opinion with the information we currently have, because this isn’t a gut reaction I spent two seconds on, I actually soul searched (lol) for the reasons as to why I felt so negatively about Levi. He was my fave, and I felt deeply hurt and confused and frustrated, so I thought long and hard about it. I am open to change my mind if anything else comes out of him in the future.

Also, I have already spent a lot of words on how I feel about Levi’s character as of late, here, here, and here, here, here and here for example, also here and here (I haven’t exactly been silent about it lol) but let me reiterate it into one incomplete post. It’s really freaking long, and a wall of text at it. I don’t expect people to put up with this messy rant, but suit yourself if you want to.

@ the people who sent these new questions almost a month ago, I’m sorry this isn’t the reply you hoped for. If you guys want a more positive take on this, just look through my ereri meta tag.

Levi as a character can be simplified in 3 points, in my opinion: 1) the deep, caring feelings he has for his comrades and as such the responsibility he feels for them and their deaths; 2) his violent side and how he resorts to violence to solve situations. These 2 merge together into 3) what used to be his main goal, free humanity. He lent his strength (that at times he uses for violence/to get his way) to the cause: helping in freeing humanity inside the walls because the sense of freedom is worth everything.

So, harsh opinion: I believe he has lost sight of his goal – as Isayama has stated in the past even though I didn’t wanna believe it because it made zero sense and cheapened everything I loved about Levi – and he has fallen back into his worst behaviors. Add to that a lack of active presence and engagement in the actual story, and you get this predictable, background character that I can’t for the life of me enjoy currently. Because apparently, he forgot how to live on his own without Erwin’s guidance (and here I’d have another bag of salt to pour but this would get too long, and I don’t have the patience to word it in a way that wouldn’t bring me the ire of his fans).

I don’t know if Levi is really supposed to be seen this way, but at least to me, the focus has been mostly on this: his anger/violence/flaws, and his lack of involvement.

I never liked the way he resorted to violence to “resolve” not life-or-death situations or simply to vent his frustrations, in the first place. It’s something Eren had to let go of, he was rewarded when he used his wits, abandoning pure rage for the sake of revenge, and it’s always been Isayama’s intention, imo, to show as much with the story in general and with Levi as well, as Levi has never been rewarded for it either.

So, witnessing his character revert AGAIN to kicks and straight-up sadism, as a fan, has been a big disappointment. Then, the shift of his goal because “saving humanity” wasn’t Erwin’s goal, after all, has been another point of disappointment – but this happened way before the current arc. His obsession with “making the dead soldiers’ sacrifices worth it” can be commendable, but the way he’s going about it is totally blind and dictated by anger and loss of hope, in a way, so I don’t see it as something positive either. He lacks vision, he lacks a voice in the things that are happening around him as if he doesn’t care whatever happens to all of them, as long as he can make Zeke suffer and kill him. I know it’s not totally the case, because we have seen (and I want to believe) that he still cares about his comrades who are still alive, as seen during the battle in Liberio and his reticence at following direct orders to kill Eren, but at the same time, the obsession with “repaying the lives of the dead” is making him being absolutely heartless for the sake of his “hope” (like, I’m paraphrasing here but he literally went “let’s go to war again and let Historia become a shifter if she so wants to, who cares, more deaths, yay”), though he himself doesn’t seem to care about hope and freedom and all this stuff that much anymore, or he would’ve spoken up about the mess Paradis and Hange were throwing themselves into, like Eren did.

Another point of dissatisfaction is that it seemed to me like he was forming stronger bonds with the 104th and he was becoming better at voicing his opinions without becoming violent, but I guess he either regressed, or I always read him wrong. His violence in 114 was downright revolting to me, I felt nauseous and, in a way, I’m glad he got k.o’ed. It put a stop to his metaphorical downfall, at least — I see post-timeskip Levi as a cheapened, worsened, “hyperfocused-on-just-one-side-of-him” version of the Levi I used to love in earlier arcs and he was only getting worse, imo.

And, as a special mention re: his violence and his relationship with Eren… It was interesting to observe how he slowly changed in regards to Eren, learning how to lift him up and get the best out of and for him, caring about and paying attention to Eren’s emotional state when no one could or would. It was also very interesting how he opened up to Eren just because he wanted to help him, always, from the beginning. THAT’S what really made me fall for the ship and for Levi.

Also, he thought that violence wasn’t the answer with Eren, and I guess I can excuse him for his behavior in Shiganshina because it was a charged challenge of sort for every character. But he really did think that nobody could make Eren submit with violence, yet he’s the one who tried to do exactly that as soon as they met again in ch.105. I was so disappointed that their relationship seemed to have regressed so much, I kept being hopeful only because of his face/words after the kick: he felt betrayed and saddened by Eren, so it meant he still cared deeply about him. And yeah, he does, but the reasons are also partially…bad. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe he cares about Eren as a person, the boy he met and decided to protect all those years ago, but now saving Eren has become deeply intertwined with saving his last remaining goal: making it up to the dead soldiers (and I’ve already explained why I think it’s not a “positive” goal). And it’s unfair and a skewed view, imo, because Eren really didn’t have much to do with every single death. But I think it’s Levi being desperate about it all, he clings to it or he’d lose it if he had to, um, reconsider his current mindset. He’s like…grasping at straws, I feel. Like he was doing with Erwin when Erwin revealed his true colors. Levi ended up reconsidering his own ideals and goals, back then, but in a bad way (he had no goals of his own, he just blindly followed Erwin, who cares about humanity, right? Even though he seemed to care oh so much before).

I guess it’s the downfall of the “Hero”. @/Isayama, was this necessary? Is this entertaining? I am personally not a fan of this, there were so many ways to challenge Levi’s belief & trust in Eren, and to still have Levi be an active player. This just feels like a cheap way to get him out of the picture and turn him into a really secondary character. He doesn’t feel like a main player in this arc.

So long story short, I’m very disappointed in his development. I was willing to go along with it in the hopes that it would be leading us to something very interesting and it seemed it could go into a good direction as I stated here. But when he seemed to be confirmed basically dead (literally, or anyway when it comes to his importance in current events), I’ve kind of lost all hope in regards to his character, and I felt so done about it. He is either gonna stay this way, or there’s gonna be some small, cheap, background-ish closure (though atm I fail to see how, seeing as the story is about to end) and if that’s the case, I fail to comprehend the purpose of his arc, then. I don’t think his is an unreasonable development, I just fail to see how the direction Isayama has decided to “develop” him in has any relevance to the story and its themes, as he used to be a major player with some good-ass, relevant presence in the story. As I said in some posts I linked above, Isayama may have lost motivation to develop Levi any further and dropped it from the “main players” roaster, probably when he decided to change Levi’s motivations halfway through the story (because yes, the problems I have with Levi started towards the end of Uprising).

I used to be a great Levi fan, if my username and icon are anything to go by, and I still like him when I reread some parts as I stated elsewhere, because I really, really love when he interacts with the 104th or like, with his subordinates or even Hange. It’s fun to watch and even cute, when he’s not being a violent arsehole. So it’s really a shame that it’s come to this.

And yeah, I’m sure some people may have noticed already, but the ereri content on my blog has become quite scarce, S3 and the shitfest that went down there in regards to Eren&Levi parts also dampened my hype for the ship, my dissatisfaction with Levi’s character and the way his interactions (or lack thereof) with Eren went recently just pissed me off. But I loved this ship for like 5 years, I’m attached to it, and I am capable of separating the good parts of it from the bad ones (though it’s become increasingly difficult). And most importantly, I still love the way their canon relationship was developed up until before the serum bowl. Almost nothing has happened with them since then, so that’s why I was still really hyped for the next 2 years, but recently, and with Levi’s return, I’ve just grown more frustrated and bored with it.

After all, I fell in love with the romantic fanon ship BECAUSE the canon relationship was so interesting, had potential, and seemed to be going some incredibly cool directions, as both the characters seemed to be similar, had the same goals and understood each other on a basic level. It turned out to be almost nothing in the end, but alas.

So, how can I ship them if I don’t like one of them?

I still like Levi, especially when I reread the early arcs. This doesn’t mean I have to accept the worst sides of him that have apparently taken over his whole personality. His violence ISN’T a flaw I - or anyone, imo - should accept. Snoring IS a flaw we can/have to accept if we love someone. Violence is something that must be overcome. My annoyance with people implying they are better fans because they accept and embrace and excuse him and his violence, compared to those who don’t like that, is also a factor in my frustration. Understanding why exactly he’s the way he is is part of being a fan of a character, wishing for him to become a better person and ultimately letting go of toxic (yeah) acquired behaviors, imo, is better than defending and hyping them up. Some people even LOVE and WISH that violence will be his downfall because it’s violence for the sake of avenging [redacted] so it’s sooo romantic. lmao, ok. And I won't even get started about the ones who SERIOUSLY say that adult characters don't need to change, because I'm gonna start laughing for 3 hours straight. Dudes, there's not an age where you stop changing. If you stop trying bettering yourself at age XX, then I already know you're a shitty adult irl, goodbye.

Anyways, back on track. As I said in another post I may have linked above, I thought his encounter and resolution with Kenny would have amounted to something in this regards, since Levi used violence to get acknowledgment and to feel like he was “worth” something, imo, but it was only a set up for serumbowl. Wasted chance.

And I get it that violence is the way he was taught to deal with things, but 20 years have passed since then and he had a whole character arc in Uprising about opening up, trusting, feeling trusted in return, and feeling good and grateful and happy about that BECAUSE he was open with his squad and learned that it was better to use words rather than fists. So I thought he had grown out of it at least a bit. But I mean, there are other characters who have regressed or haven’t changed at all after their supposed character arc, and that dampened to a great degree the enjoyment of such characters for me (Historia, Ymir, Reiner), so whatever I guess? I can definitely see it’s something of a “cruel” way of storytelling Isayama really seems to like, maybe because he wants the characters to suffer. I guess you can’t have a story if all of your characters become better people and overcome their flaws…well, actually you can, but I guess Isayama doesn’t want this to be that kind of story.

But anyway, just to be clear, it also ties in with wanting the characters you love to better themselves and let go of things that ruin their lives or that have roots in trauma. Wouldn’t you want that for someone you love, even and especially in real life? So, if his violent tendencies have been portrayed as “wrong”, Bad Coping Mechanisms, and rooted in childhood trauma, why is it so frowned upon in this goddamn fandom to wish for him to let go of them, since it’s something that has caused him and characters around him pain or distress or downright failure. Overcoming these flaws would mean he’d feel better about himself, and others, and his past, etc. Why is it SO wrong to wish him the best? Lmao, I don’t get it.

So when his “real fans” be like “Levi’s violence is a part of him, you don’t love him for real if you can’t accept that part. anyway he’s perfect the way he is”, I’m like…that’s actually bullshit. I just want him to be a better person, just like I wanted to be a better person when I had detrimental (for me and for the people close to me) behaviors due to mental health stuff.

It’s not even on the same level of wanting him to stop being rude, that’s part of his charm. Violence…is not a cool personality trait, and it’s something you should want him to get over.

–

I still love lots of things that were shown in the manga in regards to Eren and Levi, so I don’t get why I should justify myself for liking them together just because I don’t like some parts of one of them. I still think some of Levi’s best personality traits came out when he interacted with Eren, and I like the Levi who cares about Eren the most. Hence why I ship the goddamn ship. That’s all there is to it, really. Here I talked about what I loved about their relationship, though now I feel like a bit of a hopeful fool.

[mlovesstories]

Adopting An Angel (RPF)

AN: Should I make this a series? Hope you like it! 

Summary: YN was adopted by Jensen and Danneel.  Adjusting to a new life is hard sometimes. 

Word count: 1461

Warnings: Online hate, low self-esteem

Jensen x Danneel, Jensen x daughter, Danneel x daughter

“Hey, sweetheart.  How are you?”  Jensen was facetiming with his daughter.

“Hi, Jensen.  I’m okay.  Just adjusting.  It’s still new, ya know?  I wish you were here.”  

“Sure, YN.  I know.  It’s new for all of us.  But I’ll be home for hiatus soon.”

“Hiatus?”  YN didn’t know the reference.

“It’s our summer break from the show.  I won’t be back to Vancouver until mid-July.”

“Really?”

Jensen and Danneel had just adopted fifteen year-old YN.  She was full of life and adventure, but she was out of her element with having a structured family.  

“Yep. How’s school going?”  Jensen wanted to be there for her, but he was obligated to be in Vancouver for Supernatural.  

“It’s good for once in my life.  But technically we have like a week left. Oh, I made a friend today.”

“What’s her name?  Is she nice like someone I know?”  He winked at her.

“Very funny.  And HIS name is Skylar.”

“Umm, no.  No friends who are boys,” he stated straight-faced.  Her value just plummeted.  She didn’t want him to hate her already.  They were getting along so well.  

YN was quick to respond with, “I’m sorry.  I won’t hang out with him.  I’ll find someone-” she sputtered.

“YN, stop!  I was kidding, sweetheart.  I’m so proud of you for making friends,” Jensen smiled. “You are so strong, you know that?”  

“I don’t think so,” YN looked away from the phone.

“Hey,” Jensen got her attention, “you are.  You’re doing fine.  It’s all new, but that’s okay.”

She heard Jared in the background. “Is that YN? Let me see her,” Jared said as he took the phone from his friend. “Hey, YN!  How’s it going, darlin’?”

“Hi, Mr. Padalecki. It’s good, thank you.”

“What have I told you about the last name stuff, huh?  What did I say would happen if you called me that again?” He smirked.

“That you would tickle me until I cried,” she answered with a laugh. “I’m sorry, Jared,” YN emphasized his first name.

“There we go!  I’ll let it slide this time, shorty.”

“I ain’t short!” YN automatically responded.  “Stop calling me that, please,”  she thought she overstepped with her declaration.  “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.  Call me that if you want.”  YN was very timid with her new family and friends.  

“YN, if you don’t want me to, I won’t.  We’re silly in this family.  You are allowed to have a say and joke around too,” Jared affirmed her.  He knew she was trying to find her place in their world of crazy.  

“Oh. Umm, okay.  Well, I don’t mind it.  It’s okay if you call me that.  Although, for the record, I’m not short.  You’re just ginormous.”

Jared leaned back with a laugh.  “She doesn’t lie,” he told Jensen. “Okay, they are calling me to set.  Bye, shorty!”  With that, Jared left the frame of the phone.  

“Don’t mind the weird one,”  Jensen grinned at the camera as he referred to his tall co-star. YN beamed.

______________

It was hiatus, and YN was glad to have the whole family together consistently for the first time since she became part of the Ackles clan.  She loved watching Danneel and Jensen interact with each other and the younger ones.  They spent their days at the pool, taking small trips, and hanging out as a family of six.  It was strange to be the oldest sibling, but she enjoyed it which surprised her.  The Ackles had not announced that they had adopted YN yet for her privacy, but Jensen and Danneel wanted to shout it from the rooftops.  She was such a gift to their family.  

“How are you feeling today, YN?”  Danneel asked.

“Good, I think.  I’m just not used to family stuff.”  She looked at her mom.

“Like what?” Danneel was curious.

“The laughing and goofing off.  I’ve never had that before.  You have a lot of fun,”  YN smiled. “And all the trips and outings.  That’s new.  My room is fantastic.  I never had a bed to myself.  It was always too crowded.  Now I have my own room with a bathroom.”

“I’m sure it’s different.  But is it a good different, at least?  I know it’s a lot to take in.  You can always tell us if you need to talk,” Danneel wrapped her arms around YN.  

“Oh no, it’s totally cool.  Just a kind of culture shock, I guess.  I love it though.”

“Good,”  Danneel was so glad for YN.  YN deserved some fun.  “Jensen, come here.” Jensen walked over to his girls.  “Let’s take a picture.  I want to document YN’s first summer with us.”

“Good idea, Dee. Here, I have my phone.  Let’s get the pool in the background.  It’s a good backdrop,” he nudged YN playfully, and she giggled. “One, two, three.”  He clicked the shutter button on his phone.  “Can I send this to Grandma and Grandpa?  They can’t wait to meet you next week when we go to Dallas.”

“Okay.  They seem nice.  Well, they should be.  I’m sure you got that from them anyway,” YN said quietly.

“They will absolutely love you.”

“You can post it.  If you want,” YN knew they were waiting for her approval to tell anyone outside of their families about their new addition. She understood that there would be a large reaction because of who her parents were.  After all, she was part of the SPN Family before she was part of the Ackles Family.  

“Post it?”  Jensen and Danneel each raised a brow questioning YN.

“On instagram.”  YN was nervous, but she knew it would happen eventually anyway.  “It’s okay if people know.”

“Are you sure, sweetie?  We don’t owe anyone anything on social media.  It’s just a fun way to interact with friends and fans, but we don’t need to,” Danneel soothed her daughter as she rubbed YN’s arm.

“No, it’s fine, really.  I mean, I’ve been with you for a couple of months, Dee.  I’ll be alright.”

As they talked, Danneel and Jensen asked YN what she was comfortable with them posting about her.  She wanted them to say that she was theirs, officially.  YN could publicly claim to have a real family.  She was excited.  

Both Jensen and Danneel posted a few pictures of YN interacting with the other Ackles family members.  They were so happy to tell about their beautiful daughter.  

Most of the fans were ecstatic for the family.  Unfortunately, there were those who made heartless comments which were completely unnecessary.  

“How could they choose her?  She doesn’t look like them.”

“She’ll never fit in with them, she’s a different nationality.”

“She ruined a perfect family.”

Jensen saw that most of the comments were positive, but he knew that if YN saw the negative ones, her confidence in herself and her new family would be crushed.  They were too late.  She logged on and saw the hate comments and messages that she received personally since her parents tagged her in their posts.  They heard a shriek and turned around.  As they did, she ran through the house and up the stairs to her room.  

“Dammit.”  Jensen guessed what happened and followed his daughter.  He knocked on her door after a few minutes.  She didn’t answer, so he slowly opened the door.  “Sweetheart-”

“I’m not anyone’s sweetheart, Jensen.  I’m ugly, and I don’t belong with your family.  I’m so sorry I ruined it,” she cried.  He hugged her until she stopped her sobs.

“Who said those hateful things, YN?” He pulled her away from his chest so that she could read his serious face.

“People.”

“You’re right.  People that we don’t know.  Their opinions don’t matter even though it feels like they should.  It isn’t easy to ignore, I know that.  But I hope you give us a chance to show you that you aren’t any less valuable than the rest of us.  We are all part of this family.  Dee, me, JJ, the twins, and you.  We are a family.  Those people are not us.  Have we made those comments to you?”

“No, sir,”  she wiped a tear away.

“You’re right.  We haven’t because those statements aren’t true.  We love you so much.  We don’t care that you have a different color skin than we do.  You should be proud because that’s part of who you are.  Maybe you do look different on the outside, but the color of your heart is the same as ours.  That’s all Dee and I care about.”

“Are you sure?  I can go back to-”

“Hell no.  You aren’t going anywhere.  You are ours now.  You’re MY daughter, not the haters’.  Please remember that.”

“Okay,”  YN gave a small smile and leaned into her dad again.  “Thanks, Dad.” 

She called me Dad!

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[questionartbox]

Was tagged by sweet @funkzpiel, thank you! ✨ It’s a pretty long post though so I’ll hide it under the cut for convenience!

Rules: 1. Always post the rules. 
2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you.
 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 
4. Tag 11 people.

1. What is your favorite, weird comfort quirk? Spike mats. Have a back pain? Lay down on the spike mat. Can’t sleep? Be on the spike mat. Just feel physically/mentally tired in general? Spike. Mat. It’s harder to sleep on it during the night when you share your bed though...

2. Rain lover or hater? Oh yeah, rain lover! So long as I get to stay indoors - the smell, the light, the sound of it pitter-pattering on the windows, of it crashing down all at once, they can be incredibly cozy so long as you’re not physically subjected to it.

3. Beach or Mountains? Here’s the thing: I come from a town that is built on seven (practically) mountains - the town’s founder was really into Italy, you feel? And so I spent a bit of my teen free time with a friend finding high places to sit.However, I also have a gigantic fear of heights because of my lack of balance, so despite the sun being a problem for my ginger self at the beach I might still pick that… hmm, I am not sure.

4. What’s one big fear you are trying to overcome? Oh man, apart from the general ones…. In later years, I’ve had an issue where I can’t trust that what I see/do/say is actually real. Being able to let go of the fear that I didn’t actually forget to turn the stove off/lock the door/ etc is something I’ve been working on for years now, but it’s getting better. I can leave the house without having to have picture proof now, and without having to spend fifteen minutes staring at the oven/door/etc :’)

5. Favorite dream you’ve ever had? My favourite dream visually was a nightmare 3-4 years ago with big spanning fields and a labyrinth and a beachside, something about abandonment and moving far away and all of that jazz, but man was it a sight. (I mainly have nightmares to be honest.) But a few months ago I had a dream run-in with Ezra Miller working at the local grocery store’s post office and that was a delightful experience.

6. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely - most of the time. I won’t believe just anything is because of ghosts but I won’t dismiss the fact that there has happened some unexplainable things around me before.

7. Fanfic you would recommend to others/really touched you, etc.? Oh man. I remember this one Norsebros modern AU fic that was about family bonds and getting back into a family, trying to help eachother even when you can’t possibly understand eachother, such things - I don’t have the link anymore I think, but it made me sob through several chapters. HOWEVER reading @acroamatica ‘a shadowplay had me trembling in the pure intensity of some of these Artist ™  and Art Creation ™ emotions. It’s fully finished so for the few who haven’t read it that get on that. And (because I don’t know what the rest will be like) the first two chapters of @pineapplebread and @dontyoudarestiles ’ Boy, We’re Gold had me sucking for breath at times, it hit me for reasons I can’t understand. There are so many others but the list would be so long... :’)

8. Fan Art that everyone needs to stop what they’re doing and look at? Genderbent Graves and Credence by @dz013 that absolutely knocked me off my feet: https://dz013.tumblr.com/post/159216100554 Also mmzmac at twitter has the cutest chibi style I’ve ever seen, it makes me all warm inside?? https://twitter.com/mmzmac/status/847847943793025029  I also love plenty of you all’s styles but since I am awful at tagging on my own reblogging blog I can’t find any specific ones right now I’m sorry haha;;

9. Fanfic premise you wish someone would write, but haven’t seen yet? So you know how Newt’s book was released by a publisher known as 'Obscurus books’ in the canon, right? :’) See, I know that that’s a publishing company in the canon, but my mind went somewhere towards libraries/bookstores and now it is circling Credence. So either: Credence follows Newt to England, and once gaining more control over his obscurus he tries to help out at Obscurus books - the irony is not lost on him. OR Credence helps out at a muggle bookstore/library (only God-fearing literature, mind you). Graves, a man who visits the store/other often and never seem to actually want to be there begins leaving him books that are more like the ones he catches Credence flipping through in his off-time - fairytales first. More and more magic included.

10. Dream house/job? Oh man. I want to live somewhere where my bed is not my couch, nor my workplace. And I’d like to live somewhere both forest and city which is kind of impossible. Ahhh and I want to draw - just draw - all the time, always.

11. Something you’re really proud of (fandom-related or otherwise)? Stepping out of my shell and actually talking to people has been a great fun! And lately I’ve been growing more and more fond of how my art turns out, which is always something to feel proud of! Little steps forwards, so to say. 

New questions: 1. What do you use for inspiration? (Music, mood boards, other?) 2. Are you afraid of storms? 3. Favourite late night snack? 4. What was your favourite book as a child? 5. Which FB/ HP-verse creature would you most like to keep as a pet? 6. How do you arrange your files for writing/art/other not for it to become jumbled mess of files? 7. Tea or coffee? 8. Which season makes you most comfortable? 9. What kind of student were/are you? 10. What are you most likely to do on a day off? 11. Introduce me to your favourite character without telling me who it is!

I tag @upwiththekai​ @thegaypumpingthroughyourveins @headsindreams @thelastpinkbunny @funkzpiel (in return!) @gravesfrommacusa and anyone else who feels up to it, because I’m too tired to figure out who might be interested, I’m sorry :’)