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pearynice · 6 months ago

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5+1 Things

5 times Steve Harrington asks for a light and 1 time he doesn't need to

For @sidekick-hero for her BIRTHDAY 🥰 (I hope it's a fantastic one!)

Or read here on Ao3

It’s been six months since Eddie’s had a cigarette.

It’s the longest time he’s gone without one since he was 14, when he tried it thinking: this is what musicians do. Thinking he’ll write songs with nicotine stained fingers and smoke outside of music venues looking mysterious and unattainable. He also thought it would help him get that scratchy note to his voice that didn’t come naturally to a kid whose voice hadn’t even dropped.

It didn’t do that, of course. All it really got him, in the end, was a hacking cough and the inability to walk up a flight of stairs without wheezing. It got him yellow nails and brittle hair and cravings so bad they made him fucking itch—so he quit.

It’s the goddamn hardest thing he’s ever done. Nicotine is a bitch, apparently, and this might be the fifth time he’s promised himself he’s done, but it’s also the longest he’s managed to stick to it.

He hopes this time will stick.

He still carries his lighter around in his pocket, the thing hanging on like a vestigial limb, hard metal that he can never seem to separate himself from.

At least the lighter can’t kill him, and he likes the weight of it, even though it can’t be more than a couple of ounces. He feels off balance without it, a mental barricade more than anything else, sure, but to go without it makes him anxious. It makes him itch for what he’s denied himself for months, now—so he keeps it.

He likes to fidget with it. He likes to run his thumb along the trigger and hear the catch and the ignition, likes to feel the heat of the flame before extinguishing it again. It’s why he still takes his lunch breaks outside, because the sprinklers in the break room probably wouldn’t appreciate his habit too much.

The sun and sky, though, don’t give a shit.

He’s finished his sandwich, the peel of his eaten orange weighing down the empty bag of it, and he continues parsing through the Silmarillion. The prose is unfortunately completely fucking eye-watering, especially compared to the Hobbit, and despite his love for Middle Earth he still barely graduated high school, and he still doesn’t understand the blue wizards—

“Can I borrow a light?”

Eddie jerks from his reverie of Morgoth and Númenor and the Silmarils to find himself back on earth, with the new guy from sales looking quite pleadingly at Eddie’s lighter.

“Oh,” he jerks a little, like after a whole three seconds of processing he’s just realized the thing the guy is asking him for is, in fact, in his hand. “Sure.” He hands it over, and their fingers brush, and Eddie tries very hard not to let his hand linger.

“Thanks.” New-guy’s lips quirk, a small thing, barely there and yet Eddie feels it zing right down to his toes, the moles on his cheeks scrunching under just that twitch of his lips.

Eddie watches as new-guy shakes out a cigarette, holding it between his lips as he lights it.

Eddie tries not to stare.

He does anyway.

New-guy’s lips curl around the end, his cheeks hollowing around his inhale, and Eddie can’t take his eyes away from the two moles on the side of his neck, the way they move over flexing muscles before they disappear under a lungful of smoke.

“I think I might’ve lost mine in the parking lot,” new-guy explains, “didn’t realize until just now.” He says it like an apology, his face tilted down like he’s sorry for the inconvenience, and flicks the tiny bit of ash that’s already accumulated off the end.

“S’alright,” Eddie rushes, “anytime.”

New-guy’s smile grows, lines around his eyes appearing like the force of his grin is too much for his lips to bear all on their own, like his whole face has no choice but to express with them.

Eddie feels warm all the way down to the ends of his toes.

“Steve,” new-guy says, extending his hand. “I’m in sales.”

Eddie does not tell Steve he already knows this, having cornered Chrissy in the break room just last week to demand everything she knew about the new guy, which, admittedly, wasn’t even his name.

“Eddie.” He grabs Steve’s hand. Shakes it. “I’m in IT.”

This time, before he drops Steve’s hand, he lets it linger.

Eddie doesn’t really expect it to happen again.

He’s not trying to be dramatic when he says that good things don’t happen to him, but—

Good things don’t really happen to him. Not as good as very cute guys with very pretty laughs talking to him being anything more than a fluke.

But then, a week later, Steve shows up again.

He looks just as sheepish as before. He blinks up at Eddie through heavy lashes and asks to borrow a light, saying he’s sorry after he uses it too, and Eddie, just like before, promises anytime.

And maybe Eddie nudges the chair next to him a little, just to know if he’s reading things wrong, but Steve sits down. He sits and he stays and he smiles when Eddie talks and being next to Steve feels comfortable in a way Eddie doesn’t have much experience with, in that Steve’s presence feels like a reprieve. It feels like a bubble away from work and worries and every time he gets Steve to laugh it feels like a victory and every time Steve leans forward to hear him better Eddie feels warm all the way through his chest and every time Eddie goes outside to take his lunch he hopes against hope that Steve will be out there too.

They quickly become his favorite days.

They quickly become more and more frequent.

Sometimes Steve sits and talks and dozens of minutes will go by without even asking for a light and try as Eddie might to not to read into it, it feels like it means something.

Eddie’s never really given a shit about sports but he finds himself googling the Hoosiers and the Colts just so he can know what Steve’s talking about. He finds himself checking the scores to know what kind of day Steve’s going to have, finds himself packing an extra pudding cup when the Hoosiers had a particularly rough night.

He finds that Steve starts doing the same.

“I know what that means.” Steve says it smug, a self-satisfied little smile on his face like knowing what Eddie’s pin is referring to is a gotcha.

It makes Eddie want to run around in circles.

He looks down at his chest, at the jacket that’s adorned with pins and patches like he’s 18 and not 27. “Which one?”

Steve points, his finger brushing Eddie’s jacket.

It’s not the one Eddie expected. It’s one of the only ones that doesn’t have a band name emblazoned across it.

“Mercyful Fate,” Steve says, like he’s proud, and then, his brows furrowing, adds, “they’re horrible.”

Eddie laughs, a bright bark of laughter that travels easily across the patio, loud against the relative stillness. “They’re trash metal,” he explains, “they’re supposed to sound like that.”

Steve wrinkles his nose, and Eddie laughs harder, giddy, somehow, over someone telling him his music taste is garbage.

“Okay,” Eddie huffs, still smiling, “then who do you listen to?”

Steve tilts his nose into the air. “Sabrina Carpenter.”

That about sends Eddie out of his chair. He’s laughing so hard he feels tears well in his eyes and Steve starts kicking him, these playful little nudges that make Eddie scoot his legs closer.

“Shut up,” Steve keeps bemoaning, but he’s smiling, he knows exactly what he’s doing, and Eddie wants to watch Steve curl his lip at all of his music, wants to know the lyrics to every Sabrina Carpenter song without ever knowing their names.

“I’m taking your pudding cup,” Steve says, and Eddie can’t do anything about it because his eyes are still welling tears, and he’s regaining composure as Steve peels off the lid, “for making fun of me.”

And then Steve runs his tongue along the aluminum.

He does it slow. Eddie can see the pink of his mouth for a whole wonderful few seconds before it’s gone, again, before Steve’s licking his lips and Eddie remembers that he needs to pretend to be annoyed.

He lets Steve have the whole thing.

“I’ve never seen you smoke.”

It’s getting colder. Steve’s in a dark blue sweater that’s pilling on the sleeves and Eddie can see a sliver of an extremely fuzzy sock between the ends of his pants and the tops of his shoes. His nose is pink under the late fall breeze and Eddie’s itching to pull him closer.

He doesn’t. He swallows around nothing, instead, and runs his thumb around the worn metal of his lighter. “I quit a couple’a months ago,” he says, “I think all my friends’ nagging finally caught up with me.” He grins, and knocks his foot against Steve’s. “It fucking sucks, by the way. Don’t listen to any of them.”

Steve laughs, bubbly and warm, a sound that always makes Eddie feel like his blood is carbonizing. “I know I should,” Steve admits, and he’s looking at his cigarette, now, watching the end burn, “I just always have an excuse not to.” He takes another drag, and Eddie tries, once again, to be normal about the way Steve’s mouth wraps around the end, his lips pink and chapped.

Eddie wonders if he wears tinted balm. He wonders whether or not it would rub off on him if they kissed.

He wonders if Steve would let him.

“Might get easier soon,” Eddie says, “who wants to take smoke breaks in the winter?”

Steve’s grin falters. His lips drop for a fraction of a second before they quirk again, tighter this time. “Yeah,” Steve says, but he sounds different. His voice is no longer the slow, easy timbre Eddie’s grown so accustomed to and he feels suddenly unmoored without it. “Who wants to sit outside when it snows?”

Steve’s still smiling tightly, his shoulders tense, and takes another drag. He’s almost down to the filter, and it takes Eddie until Steve exhales again to realize that he’s an idiot.

“I’ve always liked the cold.” He tries to say it firm, tries to say it so it leaves no shadow of a doubt.

Steve looks to him, and his eyebrows twitch. He narrows his eyes like he’s trying to figure Eddie out, like his admittance could mean anything other than an all-out confession that he would brave any element to keep his lunchtimes with Steve, until his features relax again.

Steve leans back over the table, closer this time. He rests his chin against his palm and it makes Eddie warm all over again, like at this point he should really be a damn puddle on the floor instead of fully corporeal, and Steve ashes what’s left of his cigarette.

He pulls out another from an extremely crumpled pack, and really, Eddie’s told him more than once to buy hard packs and yet every time Eddie sees him Steve’s showed up with his soft pack shoved in his pocket like he doesn’t mind the fact they’re getting crushed.

“Light it for me?” Steve asks. He’s already bringing a new cigarette to his mouth. His lips are already around the filter and Eddie feels slow and stupid as he stares, as it takes him long seconds to understand that yes Steve is really asking him to do what he thinks he is.

The flame flickers against the wind and Eddie has to curl his palm around his light to prevent it from going out, the tiny flame finally steady as he brings it up to Steve’s face.

Steve watches him as he does. He’s still leaned forward. His cheek is still resting against his palm and his other hand is holding the cigarette, staring at Eddie as he brings the light to his lips.

They’ve never been this close before. Eddie can feel the heat of his cheeks. The weight of his stare and the breath through his nose and Eddie can hear his inhale as the end ignites.

Steve’s eyes glimmer gold against the glow of the flame and suddenly Eddie wants to see the way Steve’s eyes change colors under a thousand different lights, he wants to see what Steve’s eyes look like against the rising and setting sun and against the dark of the sky and alight with the glow of Eddie’s bedside table.

Eddie flicks the lighter closed, the cigarette lit, dimming the gold of Steve’s eyes.

He brings his hands away. He stays close. He rests his palm against his cheek, and asks Steve about his weekend.

Eddie didn’t see Steve at lunch.

He thinks maybe he’s sick. He thinks maybe he had an appointment or maybe he’s working from home, but Eddie spots him coming out of the restroom, his head low.

Which is fine. Maybe Steve had wanted to be alone, today. Maybe Steve hadn’t felt like talking.

Eddie tries to let it go. He does, but concern gnaws at his chest and it’s all he can do not to march over to the sales department and find out exactly what’s wrong.

It’s a good thing, then, when he looks out his window he sees Steve a story below, sat on one of the patio chairs, an unlit cigarette between his fingers.

Eddie brings his extra scarf with him. He nearly forgets his lighter.

The door hasn’t even completely closed behind him when Eddie can see the glistening of tears on Steve’s cheeks, his eyes red-rimmed and his eyelashes clumped, and Eddie wraps both of his scarves around him before either of them can say anything.

Eddie takes a seat. Pulls himself close, this time, doesn’t even think twice about it, and when Steve’s head drops against his shoulder it feels like love.

He lights Steve’s cigarette for him when he asks for it. His hair catches the light of it in a way Eddie knows he’d never notice until the flame is gone, again, until Steve is half in Eddie’s lap and Eddie is holding his hand.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie murmurs.

Steve inhales. His cigarette is crumpled. He presses himself closer. “Nothing,” he exhales, his lungful of smoke dissipating into the air in front of them.

His breathing is heavy. Every few seconds he sniffles, and Eddie squeezes his hand a little harder when he does.

Eddie doesn’t say anything else. Neither does Steve. Eddie doesn’t think about how angry his boss is going to be when she asks where he’s been. He doesn’t think about how cold it is outside or how he’s letting his afternoon tea grow cold on the second floor.

He thinks about how Steve’s tears are dripping down his cheeks to land on Eddie’s coat and Eddie runs his thumb along the back of Steve’s hand in a way he hopes feels like love in return.

The sky is cloudy. The sun is barely peeking through the clouds and he can feel Steve shivering against him, and Eddie thinks he’d be okay with being cold every day for the rest of his life if it meant Steve was warm.

He takes off his coat.

It gets colder.

Eddie’s had to start wearing his coat that’s all utility and zero aesthetic, and Steve grins big and dopey when he first sees it, plucking at Eddie’s front like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen.

“I wear this for you, you know,” Eddie says, because he does, because if all Eddie had to do was go in and out of the building his jean jacket would be enough, but he’s still taking his lunch breaks outside, and doesn’t regret a second of it.

Steve blushes when he says it too, further than the flush of the cold goes, across his cheeks and down his neck and Steve stares at him like he’s waiting for something else, for something that Eddie can’t see, until the moment passes, and Steve looks away.

It’s different, after that.

Subtle, but there, until one day Steve’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes and Eddie thinks, for a bit, that maybe it’s another day like the one two weeks ago. That maybe he’ll look over and see the tears again welling in Steve’s eyes, but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t and when Steve asks him for a light he takes the lighter from Eddie’s hand like Eddie hasn’t been the one to light it for him for the past weeks. He lights it and there’s a tension to his mouth that feels distancing in a way that Eddie’s not sure he can reach across.

He’s wearing his blue sweater again. Eddie can see the collar of it peeking out from under his coat. His ears are bright pink, must be freezing but Steve had told him, under no uncertain terms, that he does not wear hats.

It’d made Eddie laugh, when he’d said it. Made him want to see what Steve’s bathroom counter looks like. Made him want to see what Steve’s hair looks like before he styles it. What it looks like when he wakes up and what it looks like when he gets out of the shower, made Eddie want to know what it looks like after he’s dragged his fingers through.

Steve sets the lighter on the table. “I should probably buy a new one on my way home,” he says. He doesn’t look Eddie in the eyes. He slides Eddie’s lighter back across the table. “I think I might need to stop borrowing yours.” He says it sadly. Says it like it hurts him, too, and Eddie stares at his lighter as it glints against the winter sun.

“Oh,” Eddie breathes, and it feels like a piece of him escapes with it, floats off without the tether of Steve to keep it in place.

He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what he did wrong.

Steve draws up his leg to wrap his arms around. “I think I’ve been hoping to borrow the wrong thing all this time.”

He still won’t look at him. He’s gazing out past the small courtyard to the street, his eyes following a passing car and—

Suddenly Eddie wonders what the hell he’s been waiting for.

“Steve?” He can feel his heartbeat in his throat. His palms are already sweating and when Steve turns to him again he has to lick his lips because his mouth has gone dry. “Would you let me take you out sometime?” It comes out far more timid than he’d meant and he follows it up quickly with, “tonight?”

He hopes it’s the right thing to say. He hopes he isn’t too late. He hopes Steve still wants this, after weeks of Eddie not picking up what Steve was throwing at his feet. In his face.

Steve’s smile starts small. His rueful grin morphs into something real until he’s biting down on his bottom lip to try and contain the force of it, like Eddie could ever want anything besides the full force of Steve Harrington’s smile.

“Depends,” he says, his tone betraying the fact it doesn’t depend on anything else at all, “where are you taking me?”

Eddie leans in a little closer. He can see that Steve didn’t shave this morning. There’s a stubble on his cheeks and on his upper lip that Eddie wants to feel against his mouth.

“How about dinner?” He asks, even though the best restaurant in town has a whopping 3.7 stars on Google. “Or the zoo lights?” He amends, and Steve’s lip pops away from his teeth, his eyes sparkling.

“The zoo lights?” He repeats, a little teasing, a little giddy, and Eddie doubles down.

“I’ll buy you a pretzel,” he says, “I’ll even spring for that plastic they call cheese.”

They go to the zoo lights. Steve lets him hold his hand and buy him a pretzel and they share a hot chocolate that still has powdery clumps floating on the top and Eddie learns what Steve’s eyes look like against the brilliant colors of the string lights and under the glow of the moon and every one of them is more beautiful than the last, and Eddie thinks that just might happen in perpetuity, that every light Steve is under is the next most beautiful one because Steve is the one who’s under it.

And at the end of the night, when Steve lets Eddie kiss him, he wonders, again:

What the hell was he waiting for?

He can’t stop staring.

He can’t stop staring because he’s allowed, now, under no uncertain terms, and when they’d stumbled through Eddie’s front door he was a whole lot more preoccupied with touching than looking, and now, well—

Eddie can look.

He’s perfect, is the thing. Eddie always thought it was corny bullshitting when couples called their partners perfect because just looking at them Eddie knew, objectively, they were not, but—

But he’s the one who’s right. Because Steve is perfect, and he’s his. He’s in Eddie’s bed. He’s in Eddie’s bed, naked and perfect and still breathing hard.

Eddie promises himself that he’s going to count every mole on Steve’s skin. He’s going to kiss every single one as he goes. He’s going to memorize the maps of his muscles under his skin and memorize the feel of his heartbeat against Eddie’s palm and he hopes the sound of Steve’s breaths become his new lullaby.

“I can’t believe I let you come in me,” Steve breathes, “what the fuck was I thinking?”

Eddie laughs, and pulls Steve closer, presses his smile into the curve of Steve’s neck. “I seem to remember you begging for it.”

Steve hmphs, but the weight of his arms wraps around Eddie’s middle, holding him close. Steve’s hmph turns quickly into a content hum, and Eddie curls closer into him, kissing the column of his throat.

He’s hairier than Eddie thought he’d be. Sort of thought Steve was the type of guy to keep it trimmed, even waxed, a thought that Eddie now shudders in the face of.

He will never let Steve wax.

“Should we shower?” Steve murmurs, his lips so close to Eddie’s temple the words kiss him as he speaks. “Or do you use three-in-one?”

“I only use the little sample bottles hotels give you,” Eddie hums, snuggling closer, trying to push every one of Steve’s buttons, “I just add water when they get low.”

Steve makes a strangled sort of noise and Eddie’s kiss goes up his jaw. Up to Steve’s cheeks. The tip of his nose. “I have shampoo and conditioner, sweetheart,” he assures, “I even have that body scrub that smells like gingerbread.”

They shower. Steve washes his hair, scrubs the suds into Eddie’s scalp and pulls conditioner through the ends and Eddie’s never had someone wash his hair before, not in adulthood, at least, and as Steve massages his fingers into Eddie’s temples, the crown of his head, behind his ears, he feels himself free falling into in love.

Steve doesn’t let Eddie wash his hair. Bats his hands away when he tries, an eyebrow raised like he’s asking if Eddie’s serious, and so Eddie has to settle for rubbing the body scrub into his skin, which really isn’t settling at all.

Eddie gets to wrap Steve up in his clothes after, gets to see Steve in black sweats and his Slayer shirt that he’s had since high school, and, wordless, Steve grabs his pack, and Eddie grabs his lighter.

They lean out Eddie’s kitchen window. It’s started to snow, a light dusting that’ll be gone come morning but for now the flakes melt against his skin as he lights Steve’s cigarette, his hands curled close to his face.

The light in the kitchen is dim. Steve’s eyes are dark against the reflection of the moon and Eddie curls close, rests his head on Steve’s shoulder and tucks himself into his side.

Steve’s arm wraps around him. “I think I’m gonna quit.” He says it quiet, like it’s just for them, and Eddie doesn’t move from his spot against Steve’s chest but he hums his question, and Steve kisses the top of his head.

“I think you were my last excuse.”

🚬🚬🚬

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY 🥳🎉 Thank you for being such an amazing person!

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #fluff #flirting #getting together #alternate universe #hurt/comfort #leigh writes

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shintaru · 24 days ago

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Your scars are really gorgeous Ain't that a weird way to give compliments?

m.list ♡ taglist

You were sent by your brother Juwon to give sabbath crew the new drug trials for the race. You headed to the locker rooms only to find no one here. Except for a guy with baby blue hair he had fallen asleep with a half eaten apple in his hand. You walk over to him and set the package from Juwon on the coffee table near where he is seated. You’re looking around for a piece of paper to leave them a note not wanting to disturb the guy who was sleeping.

While you’re looking for a piece of paper you notice he was drooling you walk over to him and you’re unsure why but something about him peeked your interest. It wouldn’t hurt to take a closer look right? You look closely at him noticing his facial tattoo and scar. The scar is quite large and you’re curious as to how he got it. Your hand had a mind of its own as you were curiously observing him sleep your hand reaches over and hovers right above the scar beside his lip.

Before you could reach any further he stirs awake “Fuck, I thought I told you not to disturb be me in my sleep” he says rubbing his eyes. You step back hoping he doesn’t take notice of how close you were. “Sorry my brother asked me to leave these here for your crew” you grab the box containing the drugs from your brother's company and hand them over to him. “Sorry if I startled you I thought you were Wooin” he apologizes.

“That’s ok I didn’t mean to wake you I was going to leave a note but I didn’t have any paper” you say explaining why you didn’t just leave the package. “Ah… why were you so close to my face when I woke up?” He asks the question you were hoping he wouldn’t ask. “Um, I was, I well your scar interrelated me but it’s rude of me to pry into your personal business I was just curious” you start rambling hoping he doesn’t think you’re some weirdo.

Judging by the look on his face you can tell that’s exactly what he’s thinking. “Well I’ll just go make sure you use those my brother will kill me if you don’t bye” you say in a rush trying to hurry and leave. You reach for the door handle and open it before it slams shut. You look up and see his hand is blocking the door from moving. You notice he’s quite large turning around looking up at him you don’t know if you should be in awe or fear. Who is this tall?

“Why did you close the door?” You ask “Money” he replies. “Huh?!” You ask confused. “When will your brother give us the money we were promised?” He asks. “I’m not sure I was only told to deliver those” you say. He removes his hand from the door no longer blocking your exit. He stares at you almost as if he’s observing and anticipating your next move. “How did you get your scar?” You ask the question that you’ve been dying to ask finally.

“I don’t want to talk about that.” he says looking down at you. “If you’re that curious about it feel it” he says. He bends down to your level giving you easier access to his face you trace over the scar along the side of his face. The skin is raised and surprisingly it’s soft to the touch. “This had to hurt” you say feeling a bit bad wondering what he had gone through.

You didn’t notice his face was all red from you touching him. He had seemed so confident when he prose the idea yet he was folding over you touching him so softly. He’s never had anyone touch him with such gentleness and care. He’s used to being met with aggressive fists with the intention to harm him. He didn’t know how to handle it. He is stuck between rejecting the action because it’s so foreign and holding on tight and never letting it go.

Originally he was just bored waiting on the rest of the crew and when you woke him up he was curious about you. So he thought he would talk to you for a little bit but now you’ve left him wanting more and he’s unsure if he can have that. After all he lives a dangerous lifestyle and he has too much on his plate to be involved in any relationships

A/N I posted 3 times today.

Tagging: @dzvelinaskebiyars

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balrogballs · 28 days ago

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Hi Balls, I love your writing and I just read your Maglor/Glorfindel story after your latest fic about Feanor. Can I just ask why your Maglor is sometimes, like in that story, kind of rude and sarcastic? Your style keeps me reading, but I’m used to Maglor being more wholesome, or regretful, and I wanted to ask your justification for him being like, kind of mean in his responses. Is it an anti fanon thing or what, because he’s supposed to be the most pentitent brother so it’s interesting to see

continueing here. See him being sarkie about Elrond, or cocky about his looks, when he’s characterized as being repentent and not so confident, because of his trauma? I love your prose and it makes it interesting to read, but maybe explain your justification? Is it that his trauma doesn’t xist in the story,? Has he got over it ooor is he using it as a shield? All 3 sound possible

Hello hello!

So I assume you mean this fic? It was a last minute pinch hit fill for the Slashy Valentine event, more of a short vignette than anything. This question skipped to the top of my queue just so I could make this joke: if I had a nickel for every time someone asked me to justify a fanfic decision in the last week, I’d have two nickels… (just joking, not @-ing you at all!). Sorry about how long this is, I am very insufferable and like to ramble, but yes enjoy some thoughts about my conception of Maglor (and a little bit of Maedhros as well towards the end) across most of my fics.

So two things: firstly, some of the wording in the setup of that Valentine fic is directly drawn from an old fic I had up, in which Maglor was a bird-guy living in a forest near Lindon running a bird conservation project, which I took down after a couple of months and repurposed for other writing ventures.

And in that one, Maglor absolutely is judgy, sarcastic and ��lmao memes” about most things, will not hesitate a second to call Elrond out when he’s acting like a dweeb, and some of the most fun I had writing anything was when I was writing the dialogues between him and 4 y/o Baby Arwen (who if you’ve read my earlier LotR stories, you’ll know is extremely spoilt and very much daddy’s little princess).

Reason I mention that fic is because that was the first proper or substantial Maglor-centric bit of writing I’d ever attempted and so that characterisation carries over to other fics of mine to various degrees as well, depending on setting and the role Maglor plays in the fics…

It really isn’t some sort of “anti-fanon” move, whatever that is supposed to mean… I don’t exactly make it a habit to rail against fanon as a rule, the only fic I’d say fulfills that criteria to some extent is that Mae/Elw fic, but even that is just 80% me wanting them to fuck and finding it very hot.

I just like to interpret Maglor in the way I characterise him, as you describe, snarky, judgemental and droll. There are still fanon elements to it: he’s very parental, grandparental as well, he was a very involved parent regardless of what form it takes or effect it has, whether positive or negative. Maglor in my AU also follows along those lines, just in a different context… and his very close relationship with Arwen was a pretty solid thread in some of my older works, iirc The Great Impossible showcases that best… and yes, there too he’s very laid back and honestly can be a bit of a dick, especially with his “naming 3000 generations of cats after Thingol” and “finding a very ugly cat and calling it Teleporno, only to change its name after Teleporno was nice to him”.

I don’t think it’s a beyond-the-pale characterisation, or one that seems incompatible with canon. The guy spent his life in Valinor lauded as the world’s greatest singer and what not, was a professional mummy’s boy and was a prince for most of his life. Him having a stick up his ass wouldn’t really be out of the ordinary: imagine if Beyoncé and Prince Harry were combined into one person. You’d be sitting at court bitching about people’s outfits too if you were Maglor. And then you’re commanding forces in a war, so you still have a level of authority: the Fëanorians in Beleriand weren’t exactly destitute and begging on the street getting whipped by Thingol or whatever, they absolutely had power and wealth.

Maglor was weary of his Oath and heartsick by the end, but he was still a Fëanorian, he was still part of their wider project in Middle-Earth, not only took part in the slayings but composed music about it, etc. I used to have a little joke that Maglor was the Rudyard Kipling of the Noldor and that the Noldolantë was the pointy-eared equivalent to the White Man’s Burden poem but I stopped making it when someone tried to bite my head off for it… 😭 anyway, yes, I did not and don’t write him as someone who was opposed to it from Day One, but someone in whom regret and self-disgust grew as the Noldor-in-ME project continued.

So him not being a perfectly polite and “choose kindness always” uwu bean does track with his character in my view… it’s all just different interpretations, not exactly some act of rebellion against fanon or whatever.

Re: trauma and characterisation, I fielded this same question about Maedhros when writing Cast in Stone, but in that case it was “why is he literally deranged, like person-needing-a-straitjacket deranged instead of having a classic presentation of PTSD and depression?”

I think one thing it’s important to mention when it comes to fandom/fanwork, not just in this fandom but in general, is that trauma presents in many ways, and they’re not all going to be a) relatable b) easily mappable into Anglo DSMV terminology c) palatable. As a general rule, for both personal and literary reasons, I am always keen on exploring “madness” in fantasy. I wasn’t interested in writing Maedhros as a “guy who did big violence and then felt bad about it” neat binary, wanted to show a fractured psyche which, in my writing, presents as outright mental instability.

And yeah it’s clear in Prayers what’s going on in his head, but because Cast in Stone was set in canonverse I had a few questions in about why I did that, to which my answer was: while the story was as a whole an exploration of historiography/who-writes-history-and-how, the emotional climax of it was when Elrond admits to Estel that the reason for all that historical cherrypicking and statue-building was not due to his own personal opinion about either the Fëanorians or his parents or anything like that which you’d expect, but rather the result of a residual, misplaced anger towards Maedhros for taking his own life. And that perspective is absolutely a thing with the immortal Eldar (see: Elwing being put into a fucking tower and having to live apart from the rest of the Eldar??? 😭) but it’s also a prevalent attitude in the real world, the language of blame and accusations of “selfishness”.

And what the fic was doing was also trying to explain Maedhros’ psyche, his own outlook towards his pre-reembodiment actions, even outright telling Elrond that he’d have done it again if he was in that spot with those stakes again. Not a palatable response nor a “mentally well” one, but re-embodiment/immortality =/= cure-all, and Maedhros still being a freak on his second round in ME was just more interesting to me. And personally again, I don’t want to write Maedhros grovelling to Elrond apologising for his suicidality: in CiS he straight up says he won’t apologise, and that’s just my preference and outlook when it comes to something like that. In fact, the only explicit apology I’ve ever written for him across all my fics has been a direct one to Elwing as an individual, which takes various forms in various works, and that is not even for the violence or kinslaying or any of that (because it’s not exactly something you can “apologise” for) but rather for the specific action of driving her to attempt exactly what he later also did.

And it’s a similar sort of view I hold with Maglor, just much less intense: where the child-rearing is genuine, he grows to love them swiftly and he’s good to them, but there’s definitely a sense of atonement to it at the start, a la Kite Runner (🙄 reference, i know sorry). And someone who I write to take that approach and views things through a self-fashioned morality code (which has both good and kind elements but also elements inherited from Fëanor/general Noldor worldviews), I don’t think—again I’m talking about how I write him, not how anyone should, or even talking in canon terms—he necessarily needs to explicitly beg everyone he meets for forgiveness on *their* terms if that makes sense?

I kind of regret pulling that bird-story now because it makes stuff a bit clearer re: what I’m trying to explain here, but yeah that was his and Elrond’s first meeting since the First Age, and it very much operated on a “yeah this happened and it was shit, and you know I regret it and that I’m sorry, but okay let’s solve the problem you have now” basis. And that’s just the approach I took, I have enjoyed reading stuff where there’s an explicit forgiveness narrative especially when it’s not tropey or woobified, but as a writer I chose this other option, that’s all.

Essentially, I don’t think he needs to perform his insecurities and be outwardly self-disgusted until someone tells him he shouldn’t. Insecurity and self-hatred, if present, can manifest in ways other than weeping at Elrond’s feet, I think? Again, there’s works that do that very well and unpick it nicely, it’s just that I didn’t go that route. Especially because I don’t write Elrond as a paragon of virtue whose primary trait is unequivocally-good-despite-trauma, that trait is present yes but I still write him to have flaws, ie historical blindness (interesting in the context of him being a living archive) as well as his own biases that come from his experiences, some inherited and others from serving under Gil-galad in the Second Age… so achieving Elrond’s forgiveness, specifically, isn’t the crux of any of the kidnap-fam related stories I’ve written?

Finally, I also don’t think being someone who is sorrowful/lonely/abject needs to be someone who spends all their time crying (Maedhros in Prayers is a good example of that opinion of mine lol!) and carrying over some personality traits from your Beyonce x Prince Harry era I think is not exactly either a rebellion from fanon or canon, nor a particularly impossible characteristic to have in his circumstances.

So yeah, just my interpretation, which I’ve explained above… I love reading other takes on him and think other readings work well too of course, this was just what I chose.

Hope this all makes sense and sorry for the essay, but hey, you asked! 🤪 I was in the middle of writing some meta re: Prayers (because I’m still very irritated about that one condescending read) when this turned up and distracted me…

#ask balls #maglor #maedhros #sorry for the beyonce x prince harry comparison but u have to admit its funny #tw: discussions of suicidality in the maedhros paragraph towards the end

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yanderedrabbles · 3 months ago

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congrats! Ur work has rlly paid off

If ur not uncomfortable(if u r pls ignore), how'd u do it? I've started out at the same time and dont even have quarter the amount u have which rlly bums me out and makes me want to stop posting

One totally simple secret- I post a TON. Like almost every day.

The only month I didn't post almost every day was January, and while I don't have a screenshot of my activity, my notes absolutely plummeted. From about 2000/day to about 400/day. It took the whole of February and most of March to get them back to my pre-hiatus levels.

Let's look at the stats:

I didn't post a new fic yesterday or today and you can see how my notes tanked from around 2000 to about 1000 in just a day.

POSTING FREQUENTLY IS THE BEST WAY TO GROW!

I'm sorry to yell at you gorgeous, but it's true. While I put a ton of work into variety and into improving my craft, the biggest factor has been posting frequency. It keeps me on top of common tags and recommendations, so new readers are a lot more likely to stumble on my stuff. It keeps my current readers engaged. It's the main way I've gained followers.

Okay, we got that out of the way? Let's get into some of the more nuanced practices that boost reach.

You can see that my fic length varies a lot. There are plenty of posts under a thousand words, but also a few topping ten thousand.

I think that having variety keeps things interesting for my readers. Most of us don't have time to sit down and read a 10k word fic every day, but we still want to have our yandere fix. That's where my shorter stuff comes in.

I think having variety in length also draws in new readers. You might be skeptical about reading a 12k word smut if it pops up on your dash and you have no clue who the author is, but you're probably down to read the quick 600 to a 1000 word drabble. And if you like it, you might just check out more of my stuff! Yippee!

I also aim for variety in style. Let's look at some of my more popular posts:

Yandere Best Friend

Yandere Greek Champion

Yandere Yakuza

Yandere Fairytale

Did ya notice anything? All four are pretty popular fics on my blog, and they're all VERY different. In length, in formatting, in the approach to storytelling.

Variety is the spice of life! Have fun with your writing, experiment, take risks. If it doesn't work, then at least you took the chance and learnt something. Your readers are not going to complain, I promise.

Editing is also a must. You're almost always going to miss a typo or two - they're like mosquitoes in summer, they somehow always manage to slip through the cracks - but a fic should be pleasant to read. If I see five typos in the first paragraph, it's a bit of a turn-off. Most apps have a built-in spell check, and I've recently been experimenting with Grammarly. Even just doing a final comb-over before you post makes a huge difference.

Tag your stuff too! I have my go-to set of tags that I usually use on my posts, but I'm always on the lookout for new tags that are applicable to my posts. How else are people going to see your stuff? How else will Tumblr know to recommend you? Use tags babe, I promise they don't bite.

Oh, and don't forget to ask for feedback either. Beta readers and writing groups are the backbone behind so many famous real-world authors. Your Tumblr moots will be happy to skim over your stuff and give you some pointers. We're all in this together, and that means striving to get better together.

And finally, I'm always trying to learn more about writing. All the tips and tricks behind it. All the ways I can make my stuff just a little better - my dialogue a bit more snappy, my prose a bit easier to read.

My go-to writing guy is James Scott Bell. Especially Voice - the secret power behind great writing. James is funny and easy to read, so I HIGHLY recommend his books on writing. Currently, I'm reading How to Write Pulp Fiction and it's soooo helpful. Am I actually getting better as a writer? That's debatable, but I'm constantly putting in the effort and I think my readers can sense that.

"But Val, I can't write every day! I've got obligations, work, school, a hundred different things to get done! Hitting 2k words daily just isn't possible for me!"

I hear ya kid. But guess what? I couldn't clock 2000 words a day at the beginning either. But I forced myself to sit down and write as much as I could between all my other obligations. Over time, you'll learn to write faster. You'll learn to push through all the small worries holding you back. You'll learn to optimise your workflow so that you clock an easy 1k in an hour.

Every little bit counts. Even if all you can spare is 300 words a day or half an hour of editing, it adds up. By the end of the week, that's already a 2.1k fic ready to go.

I used to think writers were just insanely talented and naturally creative. And I have no doubt so many are. But it takes practice and patience to improve.

We all get those moments when we ask ourselves if we should even bother. What if I'm a total hack? What if I'm the worst person to put paper to pen since the author of My Immortal? What if what if what if -

Stop. Just keep writing.

Don't listen to those voices. If you do, you won't write anything at all, and how are supposed to improve if there's nothing to improve upon?

Sometimes, it's like a kick to the jaw to see another writer doing well. Why isn't that me? What are they doing that I'm not? I deserve it just as much as they do, so why am I not getting the same amount of notes?

Don't even bother entertaining thoughts like those. Take a deep breath and then keep writing. You have your own voice and style that your fans love. Your only competition is with yourself.

There you have it. Simple as it gets.

I promise you, you're an author worth reading. You have fans who love you, who can't help but scream when you post a new fic. Just keep putting in the hours and it WILL pay off.

#Val's writing advice

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usmsgutterson · 2 years ago

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Hi! Could I request an Aaron Warner x fem!reader where reader is always flustered when Aaron flirts with her and one day she flirts back with Kenji. Aaron is frustrated (and obv jealous), he didn’t know it was a joke between them and he confronts her about it. This time she’s the one teasing him cause he’s jealous and then LOVE CONFESSIONNN

Thank you!! And sorry if it’s too long

So Am I- A.W x fem! reader

All right, hi! Again, I am so sorry about how long this took and I hope you like it in spite of that.

As I did with your last request, this is a headcanon/fic combo--I wrote out the headcanons first and then turned the confession into a fic because writing it that way is just easier on me when my motivation is somewhat lacking lol

Fic type- this is fluff with angst but only if you squint

Warnings- none!

Okay, so!!

You and Kenji are exactly the kind of friends who flirt but like,, platonically

it's never anything too serious--at most, it's typically just stuff like: "Lookin' good, L/N!" or just random compliments, the occasional wink here or there

also, on another note, Kenji is definitely the type of person to either bring up or agree to marry his best friend if they're both still single at 30

it's lighthearted bantering that you guys do for the hell of it, and it generally gave you both a bit of a laugh so it brightened the mood significantly while you were with him when things got bad at Omega Point and stuff with the Resistance

HOWEVER

when Aaron flirts with you???

it's not platonic (you're in love with him)

it's never platonic (he's also very deeply in love with you)

you ALWAYS, ALWAYS get just a bit flustered around him

kenji teases you for it RELENTLESSLY too because he finds it to be the funniest thing in the world??

"C'mon, Y/N! Warner saying that your eyes look nice in the sun can't just be platonic. He's in love with you and he's flirting! Flirt back and let me officiate your wedding."

"Did Warner flirt with you again??" He asked one time as he caught Aarons back fading from view as he walked away and noticed you standing there, a loving look in your gaze as you watched him go. "Oh, shit, Y/N. You are in so deep."

Warner doesn't really know that you and Kenji flirt platonically, so when he does hear that for the first time, this is how it goes:

"Lookin' good, L/N!" Kenji called out as the two of you passed each other in a hallway, Kenji likely going to visit Castle while you were in search of his daughter.

"This from you, Kenji? You look flawless."

TO YOU, that was where the interaction ended--a bit of harmless flirting, words of encouragement to keep one another on your feet.

whereas warner?? warner was like "Okay, gotta confess my feelings now and see where that goes."

He, however, is a gentleman who finds you in your room that night, and the confession goes as well as Aaron could've hoped--better than that.

Aaron finds you in your room, back against the wall, blanket tossed over your lap and a book in hand. A candle had been lit to keep the room lit well after you were meant to have been sleeping, and when you saw him enter after knocking and you'd said it was fine, you gave him a grin and set the book in your lap.

"Hi," you greet. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Aaron says, closing the door behind him as he steps into the room. "I have something to talk about, is all."

You glance at your book, and Aaron has to fight a grin as he watches you grimace at the cover.

"This book sucks anyway," you tell him, nodding. "Say your peace, please. Anything to distract me from this god awful prose."

Aaron laughs, and your heart gives way to a funny little flip.

"I love you," he says, figuring it best to just rip the bandaid off. "I'm in love with you, and I have been practically since we met. I was content to just wallow in it forever but you and Kenji were flirting and my insecurities got the best of me, so here I am, pouring my heart out like some fool in a romance novel."

"Aaron," you say, laughing a little as you say his name. "Kenji and I aren't romantically involved, I promise. We flirt from time to time but that's just been something we've done all our friendship--it's kept spirits up in the worst of times because we find it hilarious. I'm in love with you too, and I tended not to engage with your flirting because every time you flirted, my heart kicked off into a racing pace and I almost forgot how to breathe."

Aaron can't help the way that his eyebrows raise or the surprised expression on his face, which makes you laugh and in turn makes his heart race just a bit.

"Do you want to stay the night?" You ask. "We can talk, maybe go to see if theres any tea left in the kitchens."

Aaron steps forward, takes your hands and sits down beside you on your bed, glad that he'd decided to change into sweatpants and a shirt before coming to confess his feelings.

"Kenji is going to lose his mind," you say, laughing a bit as Aaron wraps an arm around your shoulder and you let him pull you close. "He's been telling me to get on with it for a year at this point, to confess my feelings, but I've not found the strength. I was afraid I wouldn't adequately be able to put it into words."

Aaron presses a kiss to your forehead, laughing just a bit in turn.

"I didn't do so much better," he comments. "Glad I did it though."

You hum, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "So am I."

#aaron warner #aaron warner x reader #shatter me #shatter me series

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teardropsonmyheartstrings · 1 month ago

Text

Recent Tay-Math: 14, 9, 6

This is funny, because I’m a person leaning towards prose and the pretty things, and with some fair disdain for numerals. No, numbers aren't pretty, you can't convince me otherwise!!. I also once said that I’ll never be that type of Swiftie, who constantly does the mith-math and such to predict dates. Yet here we are! Look what she made me do! 😩

I’ve examined songs on TTPD, as well as posts on this year’s TN instagram, and I think I’ve noticed some striking themes. If you think that this sort of stuff is too wishy-washy, I’m all sympathetic. I just unearthed so many pieces of evidence, that I found it too hard to continue my wilful ignorance. So, here we go!

Ok, so the first number I’d like to examine here is:

When Taylor released TTPD, many were shaking their heads over her choice of lead single with Fortnight. She always seems to blunder those. Or does she? I’d venture, that she didn’t try too hard to select a radio viable song. She selected a MISSION STATEMENT.

14 is the number of days in a fortnight. The song of the same name contains so many hints at what’s awaiting us, and how she intends for her plan to unfold. Incidentally, she just recently moved to Florida? How curious!

Funnily enough, it all might already have started with the previous era, Midnights!

You’re Losing Me, the final Midnights song to be released runs for 4:37min. The number constellation makes it very easy to immediately spot a big, fat 14. Coincidence? To help you along with maybe having more faith in a true connection: YLM was initially only availeble on CD, but was released for streaming on November 29. That's two 11s, pointing towards TS11, now fondly know as The Tortured Poets Department.

Then, TTPD itself was released on April 19th (or 19/04). 1 + 9 + 4 just so happen to add up to… you guessed it! 14!

loml. Oh, dear, tragic loml with it’s crushing double meaning. With a runtime of 4:37min, it matches You’re Losing Me, and also adds up to 14. Hey, I got an idea! Maybe Fortnight is actually her plan to turn the loss of her life back into the love of her life?

Let’s leave it at this for the primer, and look at some other numbers before checking out some more telling patterns later.

Surprised? 9 seems a lot less intuitive then 14 maybe. It’s not really a number Taylor is known for, but it really has caught my attention lately. My theory is, that she picked it due to its meaning in numerology, which entails completion, but not finality. How that’s relevant will become clearer as we proceed with this analysis.

Let’s start with how 9 is all over TTPD runtimes:

But Daddy I Love Him. 5:40min

Guilty as Sin? 4:41min AND it’s track 9 on the album!

Imgonnagetyouback. 3:42min

TSMWEL. 4:05min

Fresh Out The Slammer. 3:30min (3 x 3)

The Albatross. 3:03

This all is at least a little odd, isn’t it?

Let’s move on to the next one, before making sense of them together.

Not too much going on in terms of runtimes, but there’s Fresh Out The Slammer (3:30), and The Albatross (3:03) which work double time with very neat and pretty obvious number constellations. Track number 6 on TTPD is But Daddy I Love Him.

It’s another number that’s not super intuitive from a Swiftie perspective, but if we look at numerology, the number 6 is associated with love and harmony. What more does Taylor ever want?

… Oh, and I guess number 6 IS something we are looking out for recently after all! At least when we are on Clownelia Street, searching for any Rep TV hints! Sorry, my bad. Almost forgot 😉

Now this is where it gets more interesting and specific: 9 and 6 are very often associated together.

6 & 9

Here is where it all starts to come together, but also get a bit complicated.

You may or may not have heard of the app Stationhead, where TN hosts listening parties every now and then. If so, you also may or may not have read about my blabbering about some weird playlist, some weird song that keeps cutting off, but sometimes plays in full, and it’s all oh so confusing? If not, maybe check it all out, because I can’t keep repeating this rather intricate stuff here.

LONG STORY SHORT,

Listeners were recently given a riddle to solve (no, no one was told it was a riddle, we had to figure it out ourselves that something was mega fishy…), and I believe to have guessed the correct answer. A combination of truncated and complete versions of This Love that played over the course of a FORTNIGHT, seems to indicate a date: 6/9/2024.

June 9th. That very day, Taylor performed Edinburgh N3. The surprise songs were

It’s Nice To Have A Friend x Dorothea

Haunted x Exile

As it wasn’t entirely clear from the code, I also looked up September 6th, but other than a fairly uneventful date with Travis, she didn’t do much… besides wearing a top called “No Promises” 😂

Anyway, June 9th 2024. So, she probably wants us to look at these super interesting songs that she played then. But what’s more, if we go back a year, she also performed on that exact date in Detroit, with the surprise songs

1. I Almost Do

2. Haunted

Haunted. Again. On the same day, two years in a row.

Fun fact about Haunted: It’s runtime is 4:05min. That adds up to 9.

Another fun fact: She paired Haunted with Exile twice. June 9th AND February 25th in Sydney. What do 2 + 2 + 5 make? 9? Oh, sweet mother of Swifties! I swear, had I realised these number games and their meaning back then, I would have won Mastermind all the time!

Oh, and before I forget:

As I mentioned, But Daddy I Love Him is track 6 and has a runtime that adds up to 9

Guilty as Sin? has a runtime that adds up to 9, is track 9 on the album, but track 6 on the Stationhead default playlist on the Swifties Channel… Sorry if that’s not something you’ve been keeping up with. Just wanted to mention it.

[I find it very poetic how these two songs both incorporate the June 9th idea, almost like they are trying to say “Ok, I’m finally rolling the stone away, because, Daddy, I Love Dorothea!!!”]

And don't forger about The Albatross and Fresh Out The Slammer, which both have runtimes simultaneously equal 6 and 9. Maybe Jack's delight over FOTS trending was a bit telling, too?

OK, so we’ve got plenty of June 9th flags, and she’s been acting sus about it two years in a row while on Eras Tour. What are the chances, that it’s gonna be another important day this year? Perhaps, it's the very day whatever she’s been hinting at for two years comes to fruition? We’ll look at the bigger picture in just a moment, but first a super quick nod to another number I was not explicitly planning to write about:

It doesn’t get a lot more self-explanatory than that. TS12. Most likely. And we know it’s coming. So, I don’t really want to dwell on it too much, but it is being mentioned over, and over, and over again. And I find it interesting what TTPD can tell us about TS12.

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? runs for 5:34min. Which adds up to 12

Robin is track 30 and runs for 4:00min. 3x4 = 12

I Hate It Here runs for 4:03min, another 12 via multiplication.

I think, these tracks might very well hint at what themes we can expect in TS12.

So far so good.

Now, let’s shake up this format a bit. I’ll pick some posts and pick them apart for you, pointing out some fun “coincidences”. Here it goes:

On January 13 (1 + 13 = 14) TN asked for photos of “secret” Eras memories. Perhaps, the secret to be revealed has something to do with the rainbow-coloured bracelet she’s wearing? And the 14 refers to what I'd like to call the "Fortnight Battle Plan."

Consider this:

The main part of the Stationhead riddle played out for a fortnight.

The AMAs (May 26th) are to take place a fortnight after the riddle’s conclusion.

June 9th is a fortnight from the AMAs

These are all Mondays. A day mentioned in Fortnight, the song.

Other significant aspects of the “Fortnight Battle Plan”:

Have I told you of the news about Tayvis moving to actual Florida!!! recently?? Oh, I guess I have. Anyway. Not sus at all!

Moving on.

We got more of the same song and dance on January 15th (15 - 1 = 14). They evoked the “secret" gardens from I Hate It Here. Secrets, secrets, secrets… to be revealed after a (metaphorical) fortnight? And I Hate It Here—as we previously discussed—maybe hint at themes in TS12.

On February 12th, TN celebrated four years of Love Story TV. Perhaps because after a fortnight (2 + 12 = 14) the real love story might be revealed? Perhaps in TS12 (12th)? And by the by: Love Story, the original single, was released in 2008, on September 15 (9 and 5 +1 = 6).

Let me pull up another post that was working overtime:

The Lover Cardigan.

Set to Lover, posted on January 23rd at 12(!!)pm, this post advertised the cardigan, which would be available for 72 (7+2 = 9) hours until January 26th (2 + 6 + 1 = 9).

Here comes one of my favourites:

On April 16, TN blessed us with 6 phone wallpapers. The way the lines of words are arranged on the wallpapers is interesting: 8, 12, 5, 4, 8, 9. Arguably, it’s 8 for Karlie, 12 for TS12, 5 + 4 = 9, and then another 8 and another 9. The one with five words says: “Nobody noticed my new aesthetic," and the one with four words: “You already know, Babe.” Because if you KNOW to add the 5 and 4 together… you LITERALLY already know, Babe! 🤣

With this one, I noticed something funny with the dates:

On January 24th, TN posted about the special Spotify events in Jakarta, Manila, and Seoul. Two of these events would take place on January 26th (and 2 + 6 + 1 = 9), while one was set to happen on February 7th: 2 + 7 = 9.

For Valentines Day (Feb 14th), TN released Tortured Heart stickers for instagram stories. On the Second slide, there are 9 hearts and 6 side effects listed. They mention their “alchemist”. The Alchemy is track 15 on TTPD (1 + 5 = 6).

One last, although there are many, many, MANY more to choose from (but this post is already way too long):

To celebrate one year of TTPD, TN posted a video. The post got published at exactly 9h 00min and 06sec.

So yeah...

I could go on and on, but let me leave you with one last observation:

TN’s number of posts for each month is quite curious as well.

They posted

9 times in January

12 times in February

8 times in March

And 14 times in April.

… just saying… 🤷‍♀️

Alright, that’s it from me. Feel free to have some excellent fun inspecting insta posts and stuff yourself! It’s a real hoot 😂

Ciao now! 👋

#lgbetty #friends of dorothea #gaylor #gaylor swift #kaylor #friend of dorothea

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beyond-far-horizons · 6 months ago

Text

Halfway impressions on Stormlight 5 Wind and Truth. Minor spoilers but no major giveways...

Jeez I read all the preview chapters before the release and have been reading like crazy and I'm still only halfway through. That's 656 pages, folks, this book is a BEAST!

Overall all really enjoying it. Pace is breakneck, revelations, especially cosmere ones, are coming thick and fast. Alot of Shardic action, just how I like it!

Pros

Kaladin and Szeth's extremely awkward to the point of hilariousness, occasionally heartbreaking buddy cop pilgrimage.

Dalinar and Navani uncovering major secrets...

Shallan also undercovering major secrets whilst attaining major growth, thirdwheeling the cosmere's cutest ship and yes I'm sorry I can't help myself shipping her with Mraize (and Kaladin and yes before you ask her actual husband).

Need a prequel for the Heralds because damn. Also Taln is not only nice to animals, but has balls of steel. I'm surprised Odium didn't let him out early just because he was a badass.

Every Interlude so far has been great, which is a first.

Shards!

I don't want to speak for these communities, but I feel Brando's rep for neurodiverse and lgbt+ folks has really increased. I'm proud of him considering he started from a very prejudiced place and has really worked to inform himself in recent years.

We got a sweet, teeny-weeny love scene that also wasn't explicit or cringe. Go you, Brandon!

Cons

The use of modern American slang seems to be increasing and it takes me completely out of story every time. I know people will say 'it's translated' and 'it makes the story accessible', but to me (IMO) it feels lazy and is inconsistent, therefore severely undermines his characterisation and worldbuilding when we also get made-up words and customs, suffixes and other registers to build verisimilitude. Eg: 'Dating' (when they used 'courting' before) 'rookie mistake', 'it is what it is', 'I'm game'. And don't get me started on the sudden use of swearing...

The silly humour is still there at times and it's still eyerolling. It's gotten a bit better, but mileage will vary. I did love a certain character's armour though (if you know, you know.)

I know he says his prose is workman-like and he doesn't want to fake it, but I'd love more description. Brandon can create some beautiful turns of phrases when he wants too, so I'd like to see a little more of that.

Pacing is full-on, but you'll often wish to stay with a particular POV and then you'll get a quick change. All adds to the Sanderlanche, but I haven't been able to stop myself flicking ahead occasionally to my peril!

No offense to the shippers, but I feel Brando is def pushing Kal towards a particular ship that makes me feel uncomfortable. Not Szeth, someone else (no spoilers).

Very excited to continue, but I know it's going to break my heart!

#stormlight archive #brandon sanderson #kaladin stormblessed #szeth son son vallano #shallan davar #cosmere #wind and truth #minor spoilers #this is my opinion so please dont @ me #rlain #renarin kholin #dalinar kholin #navani kholin #mraize

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thedevilinmybrain · 2 months ago

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Just saw what you said in the comments of your previous post and like you, I don't get why babyboll blues seems to be the fandom fav among your works. I mean don't get me wrong I love all your works, I think I'd have a fair chance at being your top1 favorite fan just by the amount of times I've reread each and everyone of your fics but babyboll blues might actually be the one I've reread the least? (like let's say 10 times instead of 15-20 for the others lmao). I feel you when you say the end feels a bit rushed, that was my impression the first time I read too. Even if it doesn't take anything away from how good the story is, it feels like there could have been more things happening there. And as for my favs as opposed to what seem to be fandom's consensus, I think my top 3 has to be : 1st => the of the divine series. It might be because it's the first of your works I got to read too so it remains special but even that aside, I love everything about this fic. Your angel!harry has a big place in my heart. 2nd => and I would search the night sky to find you; I love what you did with this story, I remember both the rute scene and the heat ceremony had me holding my breath. I feel like this fic isn't talked about enough while still having more than 500 bookmarks so clearly loved. And 3rd => into that goodnight, this baby deserves way more love. Anyway, sorry for the rant haha. I just really really love your fics, thank you for being such a big part of why I've enjoyed (and still am) this fandom and everything it has to offer 🥰

okay anon, you just like made my day because how is my peter pan au like the one fic everyone forgets about? i busted my ASS for that fic and it just didn't land the want i wanted. but eh, such is life. i'll tell you a funny story. so ages ago when i was in college getting my bachelors in creative writing, i had multiple teachers tell me my prose was terrible. like my fiction writing was too wordy and overly emotional and felt like it was written by a thirteen year old girl (that is a direct quote). and the school really, really hated genre writing. so, i took it to heart and ended up getting my concentration in poetry instead.

now, i take every opportunity to write genre shit. like world building. complex characters. whole new mythologies and cultures. it's my favorite thing to do. the plot will come later, i need to map out why omegas in my fics wear ribbons to cover their mate marks. haha. so it really does mean the fucking world to me when people like my stuff. it's just so vindicating that i can write some things that are a little weird and a little too wordy and emotional and people enjoy it and return to it. even when i rush the ending a bit haha.

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suzukiblu · 9 months ago

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/quietly peeks around the door/

Can there be more sugar baby au? I love them. Tim being panicked budding sugar daddy is cute.

Pls?

I got kind of stuck on it for a while, unfortunately, and sorry, this is gonna sound ridic but it was just a little TOO popular so I got a little bit burned out on/overwhelmed by it. But I've been easing back into the fic and DO have quite a bit I owe y'all to write for it, so fingers crossed I'll be getting properly productive on it again soon. Was actually doing some work on it yesterday, in fact, just mostly in editing/corrections of the 9k-ish of unposted stuff I have. I've mostly been percolating some plot/pacing things that are coming up as opposed to, like, PROSING all that much right now, aside from in little bits and pieces.

But soon, friend. Sooooon. 🍬

#anonymous #rintalk

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maniculum · 2 years ago

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Bestiaryposting Results: Raggfong

This week's beast was the Raggfong, much to the dismay of everyone who is sick of birds. Again, sorry, there are a bunch... and the random distribution put a clump of them in December/January, so it's going to get worse before it gets better. If it helps, imagine it's some kind of ritual to empower the birds currently eating the Gävle goat. Or maybe a "Twelve Days of Christmas" sort of thing -- we've already had the partridge.

Also again please forgive me if I fail to string sentences together properly -- still sick. Covid, actually, turns out. The brain fog is difficult; almost forgot I was supposed to do this today.

Anyway, here is the link to the entry that our artists are working from:

(Why did I redact the Greek and Latin names for the coot? I'm not making any effort to hide its identity... baffling choice on the part of Past Me.)

And if you have no idea what this is about, you should take a look at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting for an explanation and previous entries.

As usual, art will appear in roughly chronological order under the cut.

@elodieunderglass (link to post here) responded days before anyone else with this image, which successfully conveys a lot of emotion in my opinion. Those are some very communicative facial expressions on the birds. I particularly like the coot, and how it's positioned to shield the chick from the sun. The real gem here, however, is the text of the post linked above, which I would describe as a prose poem about the bird depicted. I'm genuinely a bit blown away by it -- go click the link and read it for yourself.

@embervoices (link to post here) has got some kind of effect going on here that I don't know enough about art to describe, but I like the way it looks. Her post mentions the phoenix connection, which I think comes through pretty clearly in the design and pose. The linked post explains some design decisions, including which real-world birds were the inspiration for this one.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) helpfully specifies that this Raggfong is resting on a bed of sea kale. The design of this bird is very good, I think, conveying a certain gravity one does not always associate with seabirds. I also like the effect created by the background; it kind of looks like it's the cover for something, you know? The linked post explains the various birds from which the artist borrowed features and why, and also discusses the evocative nature of the entry this is based on -- I'm glad people are enjoying that aspect.

@rautavaara (link to post here) has made the executive decision that this bird is actually a frog, and the drawing is frankly too pretty for me to have any kind of problem with that. Look at that border. And the wonderful color palette. Also there's a flying frog, which is very cool.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) notes an emerging theme in these entries that birds (except coots) are jerks. I honestly can't remember how consistent that theme is across all the birds... I know there are some the author likes, but there are also definitely going to be additional Birds That Are Jerks in future. I like the crown-like crest on the Raggfong, and I'm impressed by the dedication involved in doing all those little body feathers with a fountain pen. Also, if you look closely, you'll see that one of those chicks the adult Raggfong is carrying has been shown staring off in the same direction as its parent, while the other has its head turned and its eyes closed, meaning we can expect it to join the coots off to the right... and there's already a young Raggfong there, too. The linked post contains a detailed explanation of design decisions, which you should go check out. (Also, thanks again for providing alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has employed her usual medieval stylization to depict a Raggfong inspired by an albatross (on the grounds that they are a seabird with "judgy" eyes... you know, I can see it). I am absolutely delighted by the scrungliness of the chick being shown here, which does indeed have the "muppet made from dryer lint" quality of a real albatross chick. They have also included a series of pictures that show the whole life cycle, which I've decided (after substantial back-and-forth) to not copy over here as there's a certain color-of-the-sky quality there, but which I strongly encourage you to click on the link and look at for yourself. I particularly like that the coot in the "life cycle" picture appears to have a couple Ilyechams in her flock in addition to the new Raggfong.

@moustawott (link to post here) describes their Raggfong as a gannet mixed with an eagle, and it looks pretty majestic, honestly. The background really enhances that effect, and I think it makes a much more entertaining contrast with the two little chicks being carried below. There's a certain severity to the design that I think is fitting.

@pomrania (link to post here) has ditched the whole "coot" thing for a more direct interpretation of the Raggfong's "common counterpart", which they deem the "Ritchfong". I kind of like the idea of two related species of bird that the human observer has interpreted to have class divisions. The crest on the Raggfong is also a very appropriate touch, I think. The linked post contains additional detail on design decisions, and links to some process images, so go check that out.

@treesurface (link to post here) has decided that the Raggfong should actually be a sort of insect that people mistake for a bird, which I think is quite clever. They explain their reasoning for that a bit more in the linked post, along with some other notes on design and execution that I think are worth reading. I really like the concept that the "unmoving wings" are elytra, and the kind of glittering quality that they suggest here. (I also appreciate that they provide their own alt text.)

@karthara (link to post here) has drawn a Raggfong in several scenarios to express the behavior described in the entry. I really like the overall design here, with the feathery tufts on its head. Also charming is that one flying up near the sun -- it looks so happy to be on fire. The linked post explains the design decisions and the real-world birds from which karthara has taken inspiration. They also mention they included the coot chicks after looking them up and seeing how colorful they are, so I did a quick google and found this great headline:

(Tl:dr coot parents show preference for more colorful chicks, so the later the chick hatches, the more colorful it is, allowing it to compete with its larger, older siblings for food and attention.)

And finally, the Aberdeen Bestiary depiction:

The one diving into the basin just looks so goofy to me, sorry. Anyway, as I'm sure everyone has guessed, this is the eagle.

Yeah. I know. The whole "fiery rebirth" thing sounds like it should be the phoenix, but this bestiary has an entry for "Phoenix" and it's not this one.

Regular listeners to the Maniculum Podcast may recall this particular eagle behavior coming up before, in the quiz-show episode we did for the second part of "Sidrak & Bokkus". I still don't really know where this idea comes from, but there you go. Eagles.

I feel like there's some kind of comment that could be made over the lack of compassion shown by the medieval eagle here and, you know...

... but I can't quite formulate it, so you'll have to write your own.

Anyway, see y'all next week for our next beaſt.

#maniculum bestiaryposting #raggfong

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nerdallwritey · 7 months ago

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for the fic asks!

✅🔚🤔😊

✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite

HMM. Good question. There are certain lines that I write where I'm like "Oh this. This is beautiful," but of course none of them are coming to me now. I'll list a few sequences I love rereading though! (Sorry for the yappage, but are we surprised?)

An Evening to Ourselves

“Rather aerodynamic, isn’t he?” Gale remarked. - Making fun of Astarion's predator run

When you're overthinking in your tent and Astarion's like "I can hear you thinking from across camp" lol

The moment where Astarion's mask goes up and it scares you enough that it snaps him out of it

General Astarion softness with your firsts

Just to Ruin Me

The whole waking up sequence where Astarion smacks you and you hit him with a pillow

"I did have a knife."

The companions finding you snoozing together

Astarion tackling you to the ground and forgetting you need to breathe

Cheeks All Flushed

Shadowheart's wrath

Astarion attempting and failing to get drunk

Gale asking minimal questions about pranking Astarion

Withers

Perfect Every Time

Astarion snoozing on your chest

“Oh I didn’t, but I wanted you to think your little thought experiment had actually evoked some sort of… thought… in me.” He made a face. “Want to try and rephrase that?” “Not particularly.”

Splash fight

Fish love

Worth the Peril

Comparing Astarion to a Barbarian

Feral/protective Astarion right after the injury

"You're allowed to love her"

Reading sequence

About to Strike

Astarion not knowing who Jaheira is

Stretching to prove you feel fine and failing miserably

The entire Jaheira poisoning you sequence

Finding the ring then pampering the elf

Okay CLEARLY I found a few good quotes while skimming through 😅

🔚 have you ever completely changed the direction a piece was going?

I'm sure I have. I usually go into writing with an idea of what I want to say/big plot points and then the bits in between kind of just weave everything together. I know that "Perfect Every Time" was supposed to be part of "Worth the Peril," but it got too long and I made it its own part! I also have the memory of a goldfish and will have ideas while I'm not in front of my computer and then forget it and have to come up with something else.

🤔 why do you write fic?

Honestly? I think I was putting off finishing my first play through of bg3. I didn't want my time with the companions to end so I kind of decided not to let it and tried to bring them to life through more storytelling. I also really wanted to write about Astarion being thrown off by a Tav. I've said it before, but the idea for "An Evening to Ourselves" came to me while I was trying to sleep one night and I made myself laugh when thinking about how if Astarion propositioned me, I'd be like "Wait, me? Why?" lol. I was also in a really unmotivated/somewhat depressed state back in the spring (when I started writing this series) and I really needed a way to be creative and have some fun. I regret nothing! I'm having a blast with you guys and am glad you enjoy the dorks I write about!

😊 say something nice about your writing

I do love my dialogue. It comes very easily to me, whereas prose and description can be a little more difficult. I guess my brain is just wired to think of quick snappy dialogue as opposed to waxing poetic about the vampire's beauty. But I make myself laugh a lot with the dumb things I make the characters say, and I know if EYE am laughing, that you guys probably will too :)

#this was fun!#again #sorry for yapping with the first part #i started reminiscing and couldn't stop #there's something wrong with me and being concise lol #thanks for the ask!#khywren #answered #emma blabs #tumblr games #tag game #beauty and the bard #mine #astarion #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #great game

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lucabyte · 1 year ago

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your ocs!!!!! please ramble about them!!!!

i love your art so much

(GRABS YOU) H. CAN DO BOSS.

So ! My ocs. I guess I'll do an overall explainer for the overall groups. If you check out my Toyhouse (LINK!) there's a bunch of folders up top that are how I categorise them. It's primarily by universe except for the folders that are just "misc."

So folder 1: Blatant favouritism:

These are silly little guys that don't fit in any specific wider universe, but I really really like. So I'll spotlight the two important ones before i get real in the weeds with my main universe.

In here are notably, my Fursona (self explanatory), Ali and Pittsburgh Cincinnati. There's also Hauntkit and Clearpelt who are warriorcats ocs that *is dragged away by airport security*

... So, Pittsburgh, lovingly sometimes called pissbug, is a weird little Thing who I made as like, an homage to characters like happy bunny and Sweetypuss. She (and her weird dog) exist to stand next to strange and offputting captions. I love her. No further context. She's just silly. and violent.

Now. Ali.

Ali Alighieri has thoroughly stolen the show, and also ties into the next folder along, Making Your MK.

With over a hundred extra images compared to second place (Sorry, Tabitha). Ali is my fucked up little scrunkly. My little baby guy. They're a shared character of mine and @samhainian's, and is from their Creature Feature setting (A modern fantasy setting wherein Cryptids and Magic are real but in our modern world.) They are as such, a modern human young adult... Who is also a demon + magic user.

Strange little pansexual altersex genderqueer poetry-nerd that they are... The modern setting also means they are literally just a tumblr user. A fellow countryman, so to speak.

HOWEVER.... Ali's true origin was in *Purrgatorio*, a scrapped visual novel of mine set in the MYMK universe! They were simply retrofitted into CF as the joke with Purrgatorio was that a regular human had mysteriously just shown up in MYMK's pure-furry setting.... And then when we scrapped the project we got all attatched to our little not-so-blank-slate protagonist. But I'll put a pin in Purrgatorio for later.

Making Your MK.

(Guest of honour: My super unfinished website <3)

Okay so here's the big one. The setting with.... (looks at spreadsheet) 109 characters not including so-called incidentals. At time of writing.

MYMK is home to... Multiple stories. As you would hope when a setting has 100+ characters. I'd wager each story has about 10-20 relevant characters tops but with a big shared universe like this there gets to be overlap between casts!!! Yay !!! 😊😊😊

MYMK is the name of the main story in the setting. Pronounced "Making your Mark", it is centered around Markus Felidae (The purple one) and their family. It's very action-adventure-y. It's also the plot I'm most secretive about the backend of since I WILL!!!!! Turn it into a nice prose story with pictures SOMEDAY!!!!! But for now tee hee hee secrets secrets. Markus' family is strange and ragtag and is keeping something from them... I can't ramble on too long here unless further prompted in asks about specifics but!!! Everyone in the MYMK folder has a fully furbished little profile with a blurb about them. So if you're curious....

But yeah, I tend to think of the MYMK setting more in terms of its Locations than its Casts, due to the overlapping nature of them all. The Malbranche may be the villains of the main plot, but they're also major players in relation to The Palsgrave who are the antagonists of Moraine, etc etc,

The country everything in MYMK is set in is called New Orphidian, Southern hemisphere little thing, here's a very cartoony map of it.

Um. Cliffside!

Since it's the best map I have... Here's an exclusive sneak peek of a Zine I'll be getting back to once the fandom brain cools down a bit.... :3c

(... I REALLY NEED TO DO A TOUR AROUND THE MINECRAFT CLIFFSIDE SAM AND I BUILT..... IT'S SO CUTE....)

Cliffside is situated on a big ol' Cliff.

A tiny hamlet of a place, it used to have reason to exist, and now does not. It's not even a good tourist locale, as the cliff is much too dangerous compared to the nicer tourist spot of Welkin just a little north. Not to mention nearby Moraine's allure as a tax haven with no labour laws place where a bunch of TV and Movies are filmed!

It's where most of MYMK's main cast reside (except the antagonists from the Big City Varmonte), and is as such a location I have a lot of tiny little worldbuilding thoughts about :)

I won't go into the other locations here just because then this post will SUPER get away from me but... I think most importantly for Cliffside right now...

Is that it's where Purrgatorio is set. Yes, that VN I said got scrapped. It's not dead. It is in fact serving it's original intended purpose as "A (mostly) noncanon exploration of character voice and setting"

It's back and its prose babeyyyyyyy!!! (A BUNCH OF THE EARLY STUFF IS ME BEING SUPER RUSTY ... BE WARNED)

Purrgatorio is currently the most publicly available coherent work I have out of my ocs! It's very low-stakes and serves mostly to bash my toys together and see what character dynamics come out, but you can look if you want to!

(There's also a whole THING on the meta of its Canonicity... It's not canon, but it's also not NOT canon. But if I talk about Metanarrative Timeline Collapse in my normal mundane non-magic setting im gonna sound bonkers ✌)

Ali's dynamics with the MYMK cast are so goddamn funny to me. Like I literally just handed my OCs some ET shit but ET is a sexually repressed tumblr user with a mood disorder.

But yeah I don't think I can coherently string together much more about MYMK without just actually explaining THE WHOLE PLOT.... Though I will absolutely elaborate on any given character's Whole Deal if i'm prompted. (OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT CHROME AND TABITHA. WAIT. OKAY THERE'S. OK NO IF I TALKED ABOUT THEM IT'D JUST END UP AN ESSAY ,SORRY..)

So here's some bonafide classic images for the road.

(IF TUMBLR BREAKS THE FORMATTING AND JUST PUTS THESE ONE AFTER THE OTHER INSTEAD OF IN A GRID IM SO SORRY LMAOOOOO)

... And as for the other folders on my toyhouse!

Misc and Fandom are what they sound like. Self explanatory,

Then, Ysden is @samhainian's fantasy setting. It's where our DnD games happen to be set but it's also a general fantasy setting :)

and Monster of the Week... Is currently being revamped! It used to be a modern world setting with hidden magic, now it's going to be more... Adventure Time-y. Fantasy world get iphone. Yknow. It has a lower Age Rating than MYMK's "anything goes", as it started as a Pitch Bible Project in my animation class. They're a little neglected but I still love them :) The revamp is extemely recent and not reflected in any of the art/writing yet but I'm workin on it. It still doesn't have a proper title..... OTL

So yeah!! Uh. This wasn't as comprehensive as I was hoping but it turns out I have way, WAY too many thoughts on my guys. And no idea what to do when im actually asked about them so !!!! This was not a very coherent ramble but it was a ramble !

There's things like essays on Chrome and Tabitha (Link) and also The Queer Gender Identities Of The Whole Cast (Link) hiding around on my toyhouse, and once again, Purrgatorio (Link) serves as my sandbox for playing with how these characters act in situations.

But..... ! I did try to make my toyhouse approachable for the average layman. Every character in the MYMK folder (Link) has a *blurb* of information, rather than a giant wall of text explaining everything about them. I want people to be able to understand their general vibe at a glance rather than be overwhelmed.

In any case ???? Uh. Fun game for everyone: If you know your homestuck classpect, every single MYMK character has a classpect and lunar sway. and a birthday. Try and find your andrew-hussie assigned kin! As a Prospitian Witch of Heart, I share my classpect and lunar sway with Chrome. No I don't know what this means. It worries me honestly he's kind of an asshole.

#oh my god this is so long and not coherent at all anon i love you thank you so much for asking but this is unintelligable from me LOL #long post #EVEN LONGER IF TUMBLR BREAKS THE FORMATTING WHICH IM SUPER SCARED IT WILL DO #but yeah. BURSTS INTO TEARS. I LOVE MY LITTLE GUYS THERES LIKE 10 YEARS UPCOMING OF DEV ON THEM ITS UNWEILDY #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING AUGH.... SORRY THIS IS MOSTLY JUST SAYING TO LOOK AT MY TOYHOUSE LOLLL #but if anyone catches your eye dear reader feel free to ask about them in specifics? even if they seem niche or under-drawn...#i will have had a lot of thoughts on them. no matter what.#also my toyhouse doesnt make it clear whos trans gender because i only list pronouns and not gender identity but . theres a bunch.#i have so many goddamn nonbinary characters who use binary pronouns too its . i realise i make it hard to tell LOL #anyway the classpect assigned kinnie thing is my fav thing to do. everyone should do this with their ocs #lucabytetalks #LUCABYTETALKS LIKE. A LOT. THIS TIME. THIS IS SO DISORGANISED GOOD LIRD.....

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