#sorry im depressed and have come to HATE my job 😭

[werewolffem]

not my coworker saying how i always seem down

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

Hi!! Can i request a hurt/comfort hotch x reader?

Reader is starting to feel lonely in the relationship cause for the past 2 months hotch has only been home for a week total and she really misses him. They haven’t had time to themselves cause even when hotch is in virginia he’s in the office and him getting called out on a case during his day off happens more often than the both of them want to. and even when they text and call it’s not the same.

anyway hotch comes home in the middle of the night after a case and he just finds reader on the sofa crying cause she just really misses her boyfriend and the two of them finally talk about it.

You have permission to break my heart with the angst and put it back together. I know its long and i have no clue if it made sense so im sorry😭😭 enjoy your day💕

༉‧₊˚. 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 || 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫

― pairing: aaron hotchner x plus size!reader

― summary: you knew that being with aaron meant that his job came first, you just hadn't realized how badly it would actually affect you. now, your life and love is on the line.

― warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST!!! you have been warned!, thoughts of breaking up, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, hints of depression.

― wc: 905

⋆ a/n: my first long fic back being angst LMAOOOO. i'm not going to lie, writing this kind of bummed me out a bit but that's how i knew it was going to be good LOL. but never fear, i got a few smutty things in the works, so keep a silly little eye out for that!! i love you guys so so much and thank you for your request!

masterlist | AO3

The room felt melancholic. Empty. 

The sounds of laughter that had once bounced off of the walls of your home now rang silently, one of the only people that knew of the joy that once made your house a home was long gone on a case right now.

You don’t know what to do. How could you last like this? How could your relationship? How could Jack?

Jack, the precious little boy that you had taken under your wing even before you and Aaron had ever made it official. You knew he missed his father dearly, but with every large life milestone the boy had completed, Aaron had missed out on. It had gotten to the point where Jack doesn’t bother to ask you if he could call his dad to tell him about it, because nine times out of ten, he knew that Aaron wouldn’t answer.

So now as you sit here on the couch in the dark with your head in your hands, you can’t help but think that maybe this was it, that it was time to consider the very dreaded other option. 

You tried your best to make your relationship with Aaron work, God did you try, but having to sit there and endure weeks of radio silence, of not knowing whether or not he was alive was excruciating. When he did have time to text or call you, every conversation was more and more distant. 

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, and your bottom lip trembled. You crossed your arms and placed them on your knees where you leaned on them, staring out into the abyss of your dimly lit living room. You had just put Jack to sleep, and you didn’t want to risk waking him up.

Your eyes solemnly scaled the walls where the pictures of your little family hung, frames upon frames of happy smiling faces. 

What happened?

It was the fact you were absolutely drowning in your thoughts that you didn’t hear your front door unlock – something that your boyfriend would deeply frown upon. 

Aaron wasn’t surprised to find the apartment quiet, what he was surprised to find was your silhouette illuminated by a single lamp. What really set off the alarms in his brain was your shivering shoulders, which could only mean one thing.

“Sweetheart?” His deep voice pierced the thin air hovering above you. You just shook your head, any happiness that would have left your mouth died in your throat, the words leaving you was, “We have to talk.”

You hated doing this, but who’s to say he won’t get called in tomorrow? No, you had to do this now.

Aaron felt his heart fall into his stomach as he made his way over towards you, gently sitting down on the cushion next to yours, almost as if he was afraid to scare you.

“Of course. Are you okay?” He inquired in concern. You just shook your head again. “This isn’t working, Aaron.” The pain lacing your voice was unmissable. “What?” He’s completely caught off guard, because this was the last thing he’d expected to come home to.

“I can’t do this anymore… unless – unless we can figure something out but even then I-” He rushes to grab your hand, and it lays limp and cold in his warm and calloused one. “Honey please, what’s wrong? Tell me what I can do.” Holy shit, he’s panicking. 

“You’re never here anymore! I - I can’t remember the last time in the past two months that we’ve been able to have any alone time together! Most of the time you’re either gone in a whole different state or stuck in the office!” You couldn’t stop the word vomit from leaving, all kinds of emotions that had been kept dormant finally coming up to the surface.

You heaved out a deep breath, your body slumping in defeat. “Did you know that Jack learned how to ride a bike today?” You asked quietly. “No.” Aaron gulped, “I didn’t.”

A heavy silence settled between the two of you.

“What do you need me to do?” Finally, you looked at him.

There were unshed tears in your eyes, “What I want you to do, you can’t make it happen.” His eyebrows furrowed. “You want me to quit my job?”

“No,” You said with a disbelieving laugh. “I just want you to be there.”

“Who says I can’t do that?” His head tilts, his eyes boring into yours, desperately trying to read you. It was like his profiler skills didn’t exist. “Every time you’ve had a day off you’ve been called into the office one way or another.” Your tone is hopeless, like your situation can’t be helped. 

With a harsh squeeze of your eyelids, the tears began to fall, but Aaron was quick to swipe them away.

“Honey, look at me,” He cups the side of your cheek, his thumb brushing away the liquid. Hesitantly you did, and you instantly fell victim to the warmness of his irises. “I will fix this, because I am not losing you. My behavior has been completely unacceptable, and I swear that I will be here for you and Jack more consistently, I promise.”

“How do I know if this won’t happen again?

“I’ll make sure of it.” 

It was the finality in his voice that fizzled out the anxiety in your gut, setting your nerves at ease.

“Don’t make me regret this, Hotchner.”

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[pastelpousay]

Hi again…I’m sure we all know what the hell this is for 😭💀

Sorry ik I keep coming on here about my stupid personal problems but lowk I think I might take another break I still wanna draw and write and stuff but that junior year depression hit me so hard I literally can’t rn 💀 I feel so isolated and alone and I feel like my friends hate me ( except for like one but still I don’t even get to see them cuz we have no classes together anymore.) I’ll still post art when I feel like it but I think the depression actually hit me so hard I don’t even care about how many people like my art anymore 💀 that’s saying a lot and school is not a help- I’ve felt like this for a while even before school but like at least I can write it off now I can’t and it’s literally only the second week 💀💀😭 this shit is sad as fuck.

So yea I might just go offline I hope to come back on here and I may like stuff every now and again and check in on some people but other than that idk I just feel so unmotivated I haven’t done much of any digital and the ones I did I hate or I just don’t feel like working on them, like I legitimately feel awful 😭 Hades and Rina is my only comfort it makes me so happy I love talking about them idk why I made it feel like such a job when literally no one gives a fuck about this shit but me. It’s why all my friends hate me, why everyone thinks I’m weird. And literally I already know no one in my school fucks with me they legit look at ppl like they’re some science experiment. This is basically a fucking repeat of last time but yea. I literally can’t it’s about to be my birthday and I feel so ass I’ll post for my birthday but that’s it I can’t do this anymore I love Hadina with all my might I want them to be real I wish they were I don’t understand why I have to here at school practically completely isolated I feel like I don’t have anyone anymore, like I don’t even feel important whatd the point do I even matter at all?? Like what if people just pity me or something idek why I care I feel so stupid saying this but I need to get it out and I can’t go to my friends because 1. I feel like most of them don’t like me 2. I’m so sick of them trying to reason with me I’m grateful for the help but it’s the same every time it feels insincere or like they don’t even care anymore. It lowkey might be karma but yea.

Sorry for the vent I don’t even know if I’ll leave I’m literally so desperate but I don’t even care. I miss when i started this blog when I was actually having fun and stuff now it just feels like I’m working I don’t want to do that it sucks all the fun out. I never complete any writing or anything and this is why. I hate school I hate everything about it.

OAKY AGAIN SORRY FOR THE VENT IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO STUPID

[bellysoupset]

i’ve been acting delulu about the whole wen+vin fight that we all knew was coming up, kinda like completely ignoring it was a thing and all your warnings bc im #notemotionallystrong and i liked pretending it wasn’t gonna happen to cope <3333 BUT AHHHHH after this last fic IM LITERALLY FULL ON SOBBING (IN PUBLIC) WHAT THE FUCKKKK SOUP😭😭😭 you’re so mean (lovingly) 😩 FR IM SO SAD I LOVE MY BABIES SO MUCH THIS IS AWFUL BUT ALSO THE FIGHT WAS SO WELL WRITTEN😭 AND LIKE SO UPSETTING AND UNCOMFY BC OF HOW REAL IT FELT idk how to explain it but it’s like hearing my parents (aka my best friends who’ve been together forever LOL) fight LMAO sobbing 😩😩😩 and also OMG I AUDIBLY GASPED AND HAD TO LOOK AWAY WHEN I READ THE PHONE NOTIFICATIONS THING AND REALISED IT WAS LEO’S TEXT like if there was a terrible way to find out it was THIS 😭😭😭😭😭 BABY GIRL THINKING EVERYONE HAS KNOWN FOR MONTHS???? AND THEN VIN SO DESPERATELY TRYING TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF???? AND JUST TALK??? (a lil too late tho buddy but also I GET IT GOSHHHH) AND THEN BOTH SOBBING GODDDD I CANT I CANT this is so devastating amazing job boo‼️

OMG AND ALSO THE OTHER FICS? i hadn’t commented on them bc i was waiting for this one to react to everything but GODDAMN????? LUKE POOR BUB all feverish spilling everything??? and their reactions🥺🥺🥺🥺 (also side note jon so worried about luke was beautiful and i enjoyed it very much🤭) and OMG leo’s guilt about not noticing the depression symptoms 😩 and the whole thing w bella and kit GOSH I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE HES SUCH AN ASSHOLE‼️

BUT ANYWAYS GOING BACK TO MY BABIES RAAAAAHHHHH I NEED WEN AND VIN TO BE OKAY omfg IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS😭😭 you’re so good at writing angst tho like goddamn i’m still crying and will probably continue to cry about this 😩😭 they need to be okay 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️ also i know you said you were nervous about luke and wen’s storyline and im SO CURIOUS and excited to read‼️ im sure whatever you choose to do with them is gonna be amazing and you know we all have a beautiful love/hate relationship w angst so i have a feeling we’re gonna eat it up!! (which we will do regardless bc your writing and storytelling is always wonderful!!!)

sending a snotty sobby virtual hug to all my babies and a strong virtual punch to kit <33333

🦦

ANSWERING THIS SO LATE THAT VIN/WENDY ARE BACK TOGETHER I'M SORRYYYY

I'm actually cackling at you acting delulu because I remember I dropped many MANY hints of the Wendy/Vince break up and you were in my inbox completely ignoring them and me thinking "damn, am i being too subtle???"

Its so funny (and terrible) to be answering this late, because I can totally say the things I was nervous about. So ORIGINALLY Vin/Wendy didnt get back together, they actually broke it off for good and Wendy feeling very isolated from her friend group relapsed in her eating disorder.

But then Wendy kinda girl bossed her way into getting back with Vince, which was not planned, AND opened up to Bella, that was also not planned at all. So I scrapped that storyline! I still want to do something with her E.D, I remember I got an ask ages ago that was something like "Wendy refuses to eat because she's feeling queasy, Vince thinks she relapsed and tries to push her, only to have it come back up and he realizes she's actually sick", so I'll probably write that! A more mild version of what I originally had in mind!

And I'm SORRY i'm a terrible person but I'm sooo proud of myself for making you cry in public. I need a blog badge just for that #angster

Love you 🦦!

[i-like-potatoes]

omg just realized park hae young also wrote 'my mister'. is this why i like it so much. my mister is my top 3 dramas ever. i was actually going to rewatch it again because it helped me out before but i kinda wanted a new story so i gave mln a try and i'm glad i did! wow... omg so i finished. the ending 😭 i'm just hoping he's taking that money and going to mijeong and living a life that he actually wants. also my heart when chang hee sat in class for the funeral director, and i suddenly thought that was such an appropriate thing for him tho im not sure that was the class he intended?? im not too clear on that cus it looked like he passed that door and then stumbled in there and realized it wasnt the right one but then the whole thing about his feet takes him where he should be, where he belongs 🥺 oh god i loved these characters and i feel like they did a good job at showing their stories and im satisfied with how it ended. it gave me about the same feeling the end of my mister did :') hopeful. i loved watching them do such normal things in life and have realistic relations and go through the motions. watching these things unfold in their lives and to reflect on mine. when the end they want to restart the club until it works, i'd join 🥲 why do i feel like i just finally let my children live their lives at the end of this ;-; also about your comment on the intros, i didnt this time and now i regret it 😩 i was just too eager to start the show so i only ever watched it the first time and skipped it jfgjf but what a lovely detail to do that, id have to check it out. and ty for your thoughts. tbh im not doing that great in the 'having someone to talk' to department. this year seems to be a year of loss for me. i lost my bf when he just left (so gu just leaving like that kinda hit a little hard) and then i lost one of my bestfriends, bc my depression was/is becoming too heavy and i stopped talking and replying for weeks and they took it as i didnt care anymore. and what mijeong said early on, about how u dont do anything and u feel exhausted and every relationship feels like work.. thats how i felt with the situation and yeah. i regret how things ended but maybe its a lesson i needed to learn. but it was really nice seeing how mijeong starts feeling that way but ends up making these good friends from a place where she hated. she finds love and beauty, shes in a better environment, she looks back on her younger self and sees she was/is very passionate, but maybe it just got lost in her life. i want that. i want to find that love again. i want to be liberated 🥺

hello again, anon!

yes, she did. i haven't seen any other dramas written by park hae young, but i have heard praises about her writing. it looks like you really love 'my mister.' i'll definitely take a look at it when i have nothing to watch.

the ending is really great and i loved it very much (i wrote my thoughts about it too, you can see it here if you're curious). i love the symbolism shown through that coin; like it's trying to say that everything's not lost and you can still pick yourself up again.

and yes! changhee's ending is one of my absolute favorites. you're right, that class was not the one he meant to attend. but it's one of my favorites because it's about him finally coming to the conclusion that that might be his purpose given all the experiences he had with the people closest to him dying.

i felt really hopeful for the characters and myself as well. i'm glad it did the same to you. and i really mean it when i say i'm glad it made you feel something.

i loved watching them do such normal things in life and have realistic relations and go through the motions. watching these things unfold in their lives and to reflect on mine.

agree to what you said! it's so much more than a drama as it allows you to look at your life as well.

(you can save the intros for your rewatch session!)

and about what you're going through, i'm really sorry to hear that. but i want to let you know that you're not alone in how you feel. as a person with depression, i also find myself wanting to be isolated from others, both personally and virtually. i feel too much burdened and feel like a burden. i also know how it is when it affects the relationships you have with people you really treasure.

what i want to tell you right now is please take care of yourself. please get professional help if you can afford it. if not, don't forget that you still need to take care of you. try to get enough sleep, try to eat at the right time, stay hydrated, and try to take a little shower if you think that will make you feel better. it's not easy, but after doing that, you can pat yourself on the back and say, "you did a good job."

i mentioned before that i see myself in mijeong a lot. i knew it was because of this. the way she dreads every single day and has to play the role of a woman who is loved — it hit too close to home. to be fair, i dropped my liberation notes at episode 2, not because i did not like it, but because i relate to it so much that it was getting too heavy. is this why we relate to it so much? anyway, i picked it up again thanks to that i have found something that makes me delighted every time i talk about it.

but it was really nice seeing how mijeong starts feeling that way but ends up making these good friends from a place where she hated. she finds love and beauty, shes in a better environment, she looks back on her younger self and sees she was/is very passionate, but maybe it just got lost in her life. i want that. i want to find that love again. i want to be liberated 🥺

cheers to that! we can say that we're just lost right now, and that's fine. we can be filled with hope and be hopeful too, anon. i'm wishing the best for us 🧡