#sorry that was a whole unrelated rant oof

[lurkingismypastime]

Me, adding rows and rows of tag filters just to avoid infantalizing fics like:

This post is about peter parker. And little ghost. And cal kestis. And bruce banner. And several pjo characters. And-

[imagine-knowing-a-name]

Overworked

Summary: Being ill and having an unrelenting work load wasn't a great combo, but the Avengers help you out.

Word Count: 3148

Warnings: Throwing up?

A/N: Oof ok, so my aim was just a short, fluffy story about the Avengers being all comforting and stuff since I was ill and had a lot of work. Then I started writing and I clearly have a lot of thoughts and it kind of became a rant about university workloads. oops.

(Also since this is set in America I know it should be College but I can't bring myself to say that)

—————————————————

A good night’s sleep was tough to get as a student, what with late nights working and 9am lectures that required you up and out of the house at least half an hour beforehand so that you’d get to them in time.

The weekend was supposed to be your reprieve, no early mornings, no new work, just a chance to lie in and catch up. Or it should be. This weekend, unfortunately, was anything but.

You had an assignment due Wednesday, a difficult set of calculations that you and all your friends on the course had been struggling to solve. (Not working together of course, because that would be cheating).

Since it was a Friday night, and you'd just had a full day of lectures, you promised yourself that Saturday was going to be the day you'd crack on and finish the problems. Lying in bed however, that didn't look like it would be the case. Pain shot through your stomach intermittently, and the feeling of nausea, and whole body numbness just couldn't be shaken.

You whimpered and clutched your stomach. You felt weak. A simple stomach ache was all it took? your family were the Avengers for goodness sake, none of them would succumb to illness this light. It was a fight to repress the pain. A fight you were losing, and you weren't sleeping because of it.

A glance at your phone. 3:24 AM. A sorry sign given that you'd gone to bed at midnight. With a huff you got up, instantly squatting to the ground to lessen the pain that was realised with it. Then, slowly, you left your university room and headed to the bathroom, leaning over the toilet bowl for a whole five minutes before finally throwing up.

You were in tears by this stage, but it helped. And not long after you were back in bed and falling asleep.

12:00. The panic set in as you saw the time. For a university student it might not have been particularly late, but to you it felt like half the day had been wasted, half the day where you could have caught up on work.

You rushed to get up, and worked out that you were very much still ill. A quick bowl of cereal did nothing to help, and you found yourself back in your room, knees tucked up under your chin as you sat at your desk, staring blankly at all the work you had yet to do.

In prioritising the assignment, you'd let several important worksheets go undone, three weeks' worth stacking up, and the longer you left it the more there would be. Not to mention all the lecture notes that had gone without being written up. It seemed like an impossible challenge to catch up, there simply wasn't enough time in the day for that.

Tears welled up yet again. You weren't cut out for this. This was content aimed at students and you were struggling! There were the kind of things you'd have to be doing every day for work if you continued in the field. Only that work would be even harder. How would you manage?

As an adult now, you should be able to handle being sick on your own. But you still wanted to talk to your family, at least let them know that you weren't feeling great. Hopefully they wouldn't accuse you of playing for sympathy when obviously they couldn't help you out over the phone.

Natasha was your first choice, given that she was the one who legally signed on as your guardian, even if all the Avengers took on the role. Plus she also answered the phone the most.

"Hey Y/N, what's up?" she asked. It was a video call, but she didn't seem to have seen the state of you yet. She was definitely distracted.

"Hi Nat" you smiled, even if she wasn't looking, "are you busy?"

"I'm just on a mission ri-, Y/N/N have you been crying? are you okay?" her expression changed completely the second she looked down; from a faint smile to total concern.

"I can call back later if you're on a mission, I don't want to disturb you"

"no, no, not at all. It's just a stakeout with Clint, he's manning the watch right now so I'm free", with that she flipped the camera around, giving you a view of Clint slumped on the floor, eyes focused on screen in front of him. He looked up briefly and gave you a wave. "So what's up? Properly."

"I dunno, I'm just a bit ill and I wanted to call"

"ill? oh no, what kind of ill?" you had her full attention now, the concerned face of a Russian assassin filling your screen.

You shrugged glumly, "I threw up last night, and I don't feel great" you explained, "and I was up at half three this morning which meant I slept in really late and I've just wasted most of today when I should be doing work. I have so much work." The tears began to fall again as you spoke. In reality, they'd been coming ever since Natasha showed concern; you missed living with her, and all the others.

"Y/N, it's ok, it's ok. Sleep is more important than school work anyway when you're ill-"

"but I have that assignment due Wednesday"

"lucky today isn't Wednesday then" she smirked, "you'll work better if you feel better, and if you're still sick later then you can ask for an extension. Or we can get Tony to ask, you know they can never turn down Tony."

You chuckle lightly through the tears. It was true. The university wouldn't turn down a request from any Avenger really. But with the degree you were doing, Tony was the role model every student and professor wanted to be, there was no chance they'd refuse him.

“How about this though, okay? Clint and I are almost done on this mission, we’ll come pick you up in the jet and bring you home for a couple of days. Help you feel a bit better and Tony or Bruce can work with you to catch up on your work.”

“That sounds nice” you nodded, adding quietly, “I miss you all”

“I miss you too y/n/n, the whole team does. For now though, take a paracetamol, pack a bag, and we’ll pick you up as soon as we can"

"Alright, I will, love you Nat" you murmured

"Love you too, see you in a bit" she grinned, and with a smile you ended the call.

Obviously the call didn't instantly bring you to perfect health, but mentally at least you began to feel a bit better. The worry of your workload was off of your shoulders, because there was no way that you wouldn't breeze through it with Tony and Bruce's help, the two best academics in the world, and they just happened to be your family.

Plus with Nat and Clint picking you up, that took away the struggle of caring for yourself. You wouldn't have to muster the energy to cook proper meals, or sort yourself out through the sickness.

You did as Natasha had instructed, taking some medicine and packing a weekend bag. The latter wasn't strictly necessary, given you had a whole second set of belongings at your room in the compound, but it contained some comforting items (and some laundry to do back home). Heading into the common room of your flat, you let your flatmates know that you’d be heading home for a bit, and they wished you well. You hadn’t exactly told them that you’d been adopted by the Avengers, so upon receiving Natasha’s ‘we’re almost there’ text, you said goodbye and headed out of the flat to the secluded area you were usually dropped off at. It wasn’t too far from where you lived, but it was away from prying eyes who may notice that the Avengers were in town.

—————————————————

Clint greeted you at the ramp, hauling your bag into a locker for you, then ensuring you were properly strapped in before Natasha brought the jet up.

"Are you feeling any better?" she called from the cockpit,

"A little, the headache is gone... I think. Stomach still hurts though"

"Do you think you'll throw up?" Clint asked, nudging the bucket he had next to him a little closer to you.

You huffed, working the answer out yourself, "probably not"

"Well that's good because I don't want to have to empty that bucket when we land" he joked, and you replied with a strained laugh. Slumping your head back when pain shot through your stomach again.

"Have a lie down Y/N" he advised, "try to sleep, although with Nat flying..." he trailed off, but you giggled all the same, especially when the aforementioned woman threw up a middle finger at the man without even turning.

"With me flying you'll have the smoothest ride of your life, it'll be easy to sleep" Natasha continued, earning a scoff from Clint.

"but it wouldn't even compare to if I was flying"

"yeah, because if you were flying this whole plane would be shaking violently"

"I don't even need to tell you again that I was the best pilot SHIELD had"

"sure. Til I joined"

You smiled at the back and forth, already feeling calmed by the family dynamic you'd grown used to. Curled up on the bench, the sounds of their playful (and longstanding) argument lulled you to sleep; so, before you knew it, the quinjet was beginning it's descent.

"C'mon Y/N/N, up we get. You still feeling okay?" Nat whispered, rousing you from your nap. Clint was already at the ramp, his mission bag and your bag slung over his shoulders, while Nat already carried her own. You nodded, sleepily sitting up and following the duo back to your home. Natasha pulled you into a side hug as she walked, both to help support you and because she missed you. You missed it too, so easily leant in to her hold.

“We didn’t tell the others you were coming, thought it would be a nice surprise for them” she explained, “but after saying hi I think you should head to bed, it’s late. You had dinner, right?”

“Yeah” you nodded

“Good, ok let’s go see the team then”

You stood behind the pair while entering the common room; the whole team was there, watching some film on the TV.

“We’re back” Clint announced, slight annoyance in his voice that none of the team had turned around. You knew it was fake though, he himself had predicted that it would take a while until they realised you were there too.

“Hey Clint, hey Nat, how was the mission?” Tony replied nonchalantly, he knew what he was doing. Steve turned first, a grin spreading on his face as he saw you, though he didn’t comment, warned not to by Nat’s finger on the lips.

“Yeah it went ok, mission was a success, we picked up a stray on the way back though” Natasha teased, smirking at the speed Tony swivelled around, worried they’d brought an animal into the compound unannounced.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, jumping up and over the sofa to greet you, prompting the rest of the team to do the same. “This is a nice surprise, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“I didn’t feel great and I just wanted to come home”. Tony jokingly pushed you an arm’s length away, before laughing and pulling you back, “obviously you’re welcome back any time”

“Alright Tones, give the rest of us a chance to say hi, yeah?” Rhodey scolded, pulling his best friend out of the way to greet you, followed by Steve, Thor, and Sam. Wanda hugged you last, excitedly talking you through everything that had happened since you’d last visited, even if you called her and the others everyday. Bruce and Vision were there too, but they both just waved and smiled, greeting you in their own way.

Natasha noticed your yawn and stepped in, “you can catch up properly tomorrow, but you’re ill and it’s midnight so let’s get you to bed”

“alright” you mumbled, “goodnight”

“Night, Y/N” the team echoed, returning to their film as Natasha escorted you to your room.

“You get changed, I’ll get you some water, okay? And if you need anything in the night or feel ill again just come knock on my door, or ask FRIDAY.”

“Thank you Nat”

“Of course. Now get some rest and I’ll see you later” she smiled, returning quickly with a glass of water then leaving and shutting the door softly.

—————————————————

You saw her again sooner than you’d hoped. Just a few hours later and you were awake again, the sickness in your stomach resurfacing. With a groan you made your way to the toilet, leaning over it for what seemed like hours. You sobbed when you threw up, “FRIDAY?” you muttered, “can you get Nat?”

“Of course Y/N”

Not even 30 seconds later, Natasha let herself quietly into your room, knocking on the bathroom door before entering. “I got sick Nat” you murmured,

“Oh honey, it’s okay, how are you feeling now?”

“Still not great”

“Alright, you stay there, I’ll bring your water in. Do you need anything else?”

“No”

She sat on the floor beside you, rubbing your back soothingly. “You know, I did this with Wanda the other day as well, maybe there’s something going around”

“Wanda needed comfort?”

“Everyone needs comfort when they’re ill, even Avengers, it doesn’t make you weaker” Natasha seemed to understand your thoughts, she always did. Knowing exactly the right words to say at all times. “It’s what we’re for, to help you when you’re at your weakest.”

“I missed you Nat”

“I know y/n/n, but you’re back now and we’re around whenever you need. Now if you’re not imminently throwing up, how’s about you try to go to bed, sleep will help you feel a bit better”

“Alright”

“Alright, night love”

“Goodnight, thank you Nat”

“No worries”

—————————————————

The morning after you were feeling a lot better, able to happily eat the pancakes Wanda had made for you and join in with the team’s conversation. On Steve’s request, you promised not to work until later, relaxing without the thought of your work on your mind. And when that later came, Tony instantly volunteered to sit with you as you did it, working on his own project in the lab.

He checked over your calculations, making sure the ones you had done already looked correct, and giving some hints for the questions you had been struggling on. And having FRIDAY was a massive help, it was so much quicker than trawling through the internet or textbooks, and meant you could actually get on with the proper work without getting distracted. You were done in no time, moving on to the worksheets with Tony's help.

He explained each topic to you in a much better way than half of your lecturers, taking the time to ensure you understood it, not just speeding on to the next chapter. And once you understood it, of course the problems became a lot simpler.

It still took a couple of days to catch up, but it was much better than the weeks of work (and probably crying) it would have taken otherwise.

On top of Tony's help, Natasha ensured you both took frequent quick breaks, where you'd go up to the common room to chat with the others. It was good to be back, listening to the others go from serious mission talk to suddenly goofing off or having debates over the most random topics, like the best Mario Kart character. They were a chaotic family, but somehow the most calming presence to you.

And they knew exactly how best to calm you down. "Can you come outside with me?" Wanda asked after the second night, and of course you agreed, following her to the roof of the compound.

You sighed contentedly as you emerged, transfixed by the clear night's sky, stars dotting through the blackness. "I thought you might like to come up" Wanda spoke,

"I always do" you smiled, "one day I want to go somewhere with no light pollution"

"Sokovia used to be like that" Wanda nodded, "it was nice. It also usually meant a country wide blackout but still..."

"That's not something you'll have to worry about here. I bet Stark has several back up generators"

"Yeah probably, but we could always just ask him to turn the lights off, make it a bit better"

You hummed, "he'd do it as well, but then the whole team would be up here"

"and it wouldn't be as peaceful as this" Wanda agreed

"I think Tony would start listing the star names"

"Or Bruce"

"Or Vision"

"No, he likes to just appreciate them" Wanda corrected and you smirked, tilting your head to look at her,

"You two have been stargazing together?"

"I- n- I mean, yeah, as friends, like you and I do"

With a scoff you looked back up at the sky, "you have a crush" you sang teasingly, "he has a crush on you too, you know? That's why you always get special treatment from him"

"No I do not"

"Don't deny it, I talked with Nat about it and she agreed"

"She did? I mean, why were you talking about me and Vision, surely there's better things to talk about"

"Nah, it was a pressing topic, and we talk about a lot of things"

"I thought I'd find you two up here" a new voice cut through, and both you and Wanda sat straight up, feeling like you'd been caught. "You're not in trouble, Jeez, why do you both look like that? Were you talking about me?"

"No" "Not at all Nat" you and Wanda answered quickly, making the assassin narrow her eyes,

"that's suspicious, but I'll let it slide. I was just wondering where you two were"

"Just looking at the stars"

"Ooh, budge up, I'm joining"

You moved slightly, though 'budge up' seemed redundant, given there was the whole roof to lie on. Natasha decided to squish between you and Wanda, and you rested your head on her shoulder, noting the witch doing the same on the other side.

There was a comfortable silence, just resting with perhaps your two favourite family members, not that you'd ever admit it to anyone. But then Natasha broke the silence, pointing at a certain star,

"You see that bright star? that's Sirius, the dog star, and around it is the Canis Major constellation"

You lifted your head up slightly, making eye contact with Wanda and smirking.

"We forgot to list Nat"

"How could we forget to list Nat"

[magus-of-the-color-pizza]

Beyond the Summary

So here’s the thing. The Story Summary came out and everyone on Twitter is roasting it for not being a real story. However, aside from one or two plot points (which I will identify in a second), a lot of people seem to be missing just how... rushed and plothole dense the story is? So, in order to properly address this, I’ve compiled this little list of grievances regarding the story in and of itself, regardless of the way it’s been “told”.

 There were a few additional plot points that I personally felt didn’t make much sense, but which, ironically, could if they were developed well, which of course they will not be. I’m going to go in order with the Summary. Let’s get this over with, shall we?

-me after reading the Story Summary, 2019

Before the gods of Theros rose to power, the titans—horrific primal urges made flesh—roamed the mortal realm, sowing death and destruction in their wake.

Let’s get this out of the way immediately: yes, the titans make sense from a Plot perspective, but hey, did you know? Despite being represented on the cards, in the story they actually DO NOT BREAK FREE and are irrelevant! They are simply a plot device to introduce Klothys! The conflict of THB is unrelated to them! (Also, there are only 2 of them, which I find kind of weird but whatever)

Klothys, the god of fate, volunteered to act as jailer and sequestered herself in the Underworld for eternity.

Ok, clever way to introduce the new god, except for the fact that we’ve been told in the past that the Gods of Theros require constant devotion/followers or they will lose power/cease to exist. How did Klothys avoid this fate?

Ashiok's visions are more real than most, and in one of them, Elspeth seized Heliod's spear Khrusor. When the vision had passed, a twisted version of the spear remained, dripping with darkness and power.

For this to happen, it would have to be intentional on Ashiok’s part. It might be, but it’s weird to omit that. What were their intentions in granting Elspeth that spear? 

Secondly, Ashiok learned of the Phyrexians' existence and promptly planeswalked away to learn more of these true living nightmares.

Ashiok is the type of person that plans miles ahead. If they gave Elspeth the spear intentionally to wreak chaos, do they not care to see what happens next? And what happened to all their plans regarding Theros and the nature of the gods and belief? I can understand they’d be very interested in Phyrexia, but it seems weird to just drop everything and go.

And when gods clash, mortals suffer the consequences. One such consequence took the form of rifts to the Underworld from which countless monsters poured forth. Erebos, the god of the Underworld, was consumed by this conflict. He hated Heliod most of all, and in his rage, he neglected to keep a tight grip on the souls under his purview. News travels fast, even in the afterlife, and Elspeth heard talk of rifts to the mortal realm. Realizing her work in the Multiverse was not yet done, Elspeth gripped her shadow spear and headed toward a hidden exit in Erebos's palace—but she wasn't the only one seeking escape.

This whole paragraph is... oof. The rifts are a super convenient plot device, not to mention Erebos’s slight mischaracterization. The whole image of Elspeth just up-and-leaving the realm of death is pretty funny, I have to say.

Klothys was furious. When Xenagos attempted to take her place in the pantheon, she was understandably upset.

I’m sorry, her place in the pantheon? Yes they both fall under Gruul colors but not only does the pantheon not have a finite number of spots, Xenagos became the God of Revels, that has nothing to do with Destiny. Also, Klothys made the decision to remain to seal the Titans, remember? She had no followers.

As Elspeth headed toward freedom, she gathered allies. Along her journey, she faced many battles and powerful foes, and she fought them all off. After each victory, she raised her spear high and proclaimed: "Behold, the true Khrusor! Heliod wields a fake!"

Aside from being salty at the fact that we’re just going to leave Elspeth’s struggles at the generic “many battles and powerful foes” (Who? Why? Where? How? When?), keep in mind that we are still in the Underworld for this part of the story. So the faith she is supposedly gathering for herself/the weapon by proclaiming its true nature to, I guess, random people that were hanging around while she beat up her foes (unless you’re telling me she gathered an army, which raises way more questions) (which will be relevant in a second) comes from Returned, not living denizens. That raises so many questions I think I’m just going to move on to the next part.

She also clashed repeatedly with Calix, emerging victorious every time. After all, she was a seasoned warrior, and he was freshly made. But with each battle, Calix did a little better—he was learning his foe as he learned himself.

This part might be the one that irks me the most, to be honest. As previously stated, Elspeth has defeated many powerful foes. This Calix guy, who is a masterwork of sentient mana-construct created by Klothys, wants to return her to her place in the underworld. So first of all, he finds her, ok, that I can accept. And then...? They fight. So Elspeth beats him up and leaves him alive? Or does he make a daring escape? Because they “clash repeatedly”. Did they just agree to meet every day at the same hour? Why does Calix not play it smart and ambush her if he can track her so well? Why does Elspeth not kill this severe threat to her mission? Wh- you know what, let’s just move onward.

Heliod stood in Elspeth's way, refusing her passage out of the Underworld. She could not be allowed to escape. She would be the end of him. She was the cause of all this. Ranting under his breath, he charged Elspeth with his spear Khrusor . . . which promptly shattered in his hands. For each time Elspeth repeated that her shadowspear was the true Khrusor, the onlooker souls believed her. And it was the power of that belief, that devotion, that caused her lie to simply become truth. Staring down the point of a spear that was no longer his, Heliod yielded.

Heliod’s descent into paranoia is actually something I really regret not being able to see in full (must’ve been some powerful paranoia indeed since it made him wage a solo war against ALL the other gods). What I’m going to point out is that Elspeth’s plan... works. Really? You managed to gather so much faith (again, from dead Therosians) that you managed to surpass the unofficial Main God of this world and his very much official Khrushor to become fake? I mean I know Ajani and the leonin did their fair share of spreading doubts regarding Heliod (speaking of, where the hell is Ajani for the events of this set?), but I really have a hard time seeing how Heliod loses this battle even though he is the one that started the conflict, yes Therosians may begin to turn against him but to lose their faith completely... I’m not sold. Also, Heliod just gives up? Damn, this dude started an entire war based on the fear he might be replaced and then when a mortal challenges him, he yields. This is a god that has erased entire cities from existence!

Erebos simply took the defeated sun god and placed him beneath a giant boulder, where he would suffer for all eternity, or until he was forgotten by his worshippers above. As for Elspeth, Erebos gifted her his eternal gratitude—and safe passage back to the mortal realm.

Like a random boulder? A boulder big enough to be a nuisance to a god? And why can’t Heliod just move? It’s not like he has the responsibility to hold up the heaves/surface/underworld, it’s literally just a boulder. Also, reminder that Heliod is the most venerated/important god on Theros. The fact that he is so nonchalantly removed from his duties and placed under punishment is downright absurd! Especially since the whole Xenagos thing was a huge controversy among the gods, who are, in a wonderful metaphor of the capitalist status quo by the way, way more interested in preserving their collective status as deities than actually going after the other gods, despite being rivals (it is canon that they have technically agreed not only not to harm each other but also to not interfere directly with each other’s affairs on the surface). Also, he’s alive! Who will take his place as God of the sun/day/light/whatever? Sure generations would forget him eventually but for the meantime, Therosians will just live on with no deity of so many important things? What? WHAT

After a brief reunion with Daxos, Elspeth planeswalked away.

Oh ok. So Elspeth is finally free, meets up with her lover, who has been transformed into a demi-god (is it reversible? Is he sentient? What happens to him now that Heliod has been defeated?), chats, and then leaves. How was their reunion? What did they say? Can Daxos be saved? Is he gonna be a regular Therosian now? Do they care about each other anymore? Does Elspeth get the catharsis/absolution she craves for being manipulated into killing him? Guess we don’t care, huh.

Calix looked on, his very being in agony. It was his purpose to return Elspeth to where she belonged, and now he could no longer reach her. But in his darkest hour, a strange idea sparked within him—and he simply planeswalked after her.

And finally, the line most people have been nitpicking on (for good reason). Calix is a freaking “created being”, which according to MtG rules, should NOT be able to innately possess a spark! What’s going on, huh? We’ve been bending “spark rules” for a while now (Jiang Yanggu and Mowu, the Royal Scions, Kaya’s ABSURD ability to transport non-planeswalkers to other planes) but this is a straight-up break. Also I love the “Rip to your mana construct but I would simply planeswalk” memes people have made about this, but one more thing. Did Calix miss the part where Erebos says Elspeth is free to go? What would happen if he brought her back, huh? “Oh no man don’t worry, she’s good”. Even if Calix believes Klothys’s will is more important than Erebos’s (if Klothys even still wants Elspeth back in the underworld after Erebos pardones her), how does he think he’s going to get her to stay there if Erebos doesn’t want her? Just gonna straight-up kill her? And again I ask, WHY didn’t Elspeth kill this guy? ARGH

-a visual metaphor of being a Vorthos right now

That concludes... whatever the heck this was. Thank you for listening and if you have any comments or additions, please let me know. I will say one thing: it is terribly ironic that the world that first sparked my interest for both writing and the magic story by kicking off the “golden age of mtg story” is also the one where the story is reduced to random blurbs on cards and whatever this garbage fire was. Truly a sad day for all of us. 

[votometrash]

Keita Mitsuura S1 Review and Walkthrough

Season 1: Main Story

Like always, feel free to scroll down to below where my walkthrough is if you don’t give a shit about what I think. Cause I just ramble. AX is upon us and Voltage has once again pulled me from my grave, so here we are.

Honestly I wasn’t so sure about the whole dark prince characterization in his profile and we don’t actually see how manipulative he is until near the end. So I don’t know if that was a dead giveaway or a pleasant surprise. Though I gotta say this would be considered worse than Shun’s route since MC actually knew that she was being led by the nose and willingly dove into that fire in Shun’s route, but in this one she had no idea she was being deceived (big oof). In Keita’s route, it appeared as if the romance was steadily building up naturally, though it was ironically started from a one night stand and Keita made it seem as if he wanted to make things work out. I love me some back story but I also didn’t really want a sob story, y’know? I guess this falls under the whole “she changed me and made me want to be a better person” trope bUT IT WAS A DECENT ATTEMPT OK. The one thing that really spoke to me was the part about loving a person the way they’re meant to be loved. Because I believe everyone deserves that and it was a memorable line in that route. [insert ugly sobbing here] Looks like a soft boi but actually just an angsty boi.

I suppose I should have seen it coming from miles away that Voltage would release routes for the Addison Creative employees ever since I saw Rei show up a long time ago. Because why create handsome bois that you won’t release routes for?? Like how everyone (or maybe just me *cough*) wanted Yukihisa’s route to be released a while back. 

Screenshot:

I was so scandalized my this proposition because that was so random and also the MC was literally waking up from a dream about him a few seconds ago. 

Also unrelated rant but why did Voltage rebrand to Otome Romance??? That sounds so generic and also confused the hell out of me when I saw that. It’s like how Americans generalize drinks at Asian tea shops and refer to them as just “boba”. Like no it’s called boba milk tea for a reason. Don’t ask for just boba or I will hurl the tapioca balls at you.  

/end rant

My opinions are trash and I admit it. Alternatively, someone needs to throw me into the trash can. 

Season 1 Walkthrough

Provocative Ending (+)

Heartfelt Ending (**)

Episode 1

A “We’ve even got people from Addison Creative.”

B “Seems like we’re working with a pretty amazing editor.” **

C “Surprising how young Keita Mitsuura is, huh?” +

A “No, it’s not that.” +

B “Is this what you want, Keita?” **

C (I’m not into this.)

Episode 2

A “I’m sorry.” +

B “I’m not ready for this.” **

C Say nothing. +

A “Not so close.” +

B “Are you serious about keeping this a secret?” **

C “Uh, yeah.” +

Episode 3

A “You could’ve at least told me you were coming over...” +

B “Yeah, that was surprising.” 

C Shake my head and say nothing. **

A Speak honestly and frankly. **

B Ask him about that night. +

C Apologize, first and foremost.

Episode 4

A Praise the script. +

B Praise the performances.

C Praise the director. **

A “It’s the middle of the day!”

B “I’m pretty sure your brother can hear us...?” **

C “I want something to drink!” +

Episode 5

A “He seems pretty busy.” 

B “Working hard, like always.” **

C “You mean, like, physically?” +

A Ask about his first love.

B Ask about his relationship with Kanako. **

C Ask about his family. +

Episode 6

A Leave. +

B Ask about the gym. **

C Compliment Mr. Araki.

A Lie about the alcohol being too strong. +

B Pretend it’s nothing. 

C Be honest. **

Episode 7

A Black coffee. 

B Sweet cafe au lait. **

C Rich and creamy cocoa. +

A  “The railway project is almost done?” **

B “After this, you can take it easy.” 

C “Any end to the all-nighters in sight?” +

Episode 8

A Ask about Kei’s parents. 

B Ask about what Kei is like when he’s working. +

C Ask whether Kei often gets like this. **

A (I’m going to miss him.) +

B “I’ll be cheering for you, Kei. **

C (I can’t accept this.) 

Episode 9

A “I need to talk to you about Kei.” **

B “Can I talk to you about something?”

C Say nothing. +

A Talk about his brother. +

B Talk about the good luck symbol.

C Apologize for talking about him behind his back. **

CA+0 BB+0

Episode 10

A Agree with her. 

B Say nothing. +

C Disagree with her. **

A Ring the doorbell. **

B Just hang around for a while. +

C Try calling him.

Episode 11

A “Is he still here!?”

B “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” +

C “Is his leave of absence over?” **

A “I’ll hook up the hardware.” +

B “I’ll go buy you a cafe au lait.” **

C “I’ll go sit on the sofa and stay out of your way.”

Episode 12

A “But seeking revenge is so petty...” +

B “I understand how much it must have hurt you.” **

C “And you feel vindicated now?” 

A Call out to him. +

B Chase after him. **

C Wait and see what everyone else does. 

[digiauthorenergize]

This is a stress rant post. There are a myriad of sister updates that I’m sure people don’t care about but it’s fun gossip so I’ll put them under the cut. The sister updates will be followed by and interspersed with a bunch of personal ramblings that I was going to put in the tags but instead I decided to put all the positive stuff in the tags because no one should need to dig through this negative post to find the positive stuff going on. 

Do people trigger warning their rant posts outside of the tags? Is that a thing? I’m going to do it. TWs for my sister and her husband continuing to be garbage and Anxiety and like, old psudo-anorexia habits I had but idk it’s fine. 

So she had her baby! yay! he’s cute and good and healthy and it’s been a few months (like 4?).  We had a bonding moment a few hours before she gave birth, her husband (he’s still a huge ass more on that later) was asleep on the couch and I was sitting with her on her bed watching some absolutely garbage show and she said she was sorry. And it was genuine and soft and the stuff of hurt/comfort fics cause she was like ‘I shouldn’t have yelled at you and I shouldn’t have moved out like that. You were right and I’m sorry.’ and I just rubbed her head a little and said something that essentially meant ‘I’m still working through it, but we’re cool’.  And I thought for real we were good! That like, we were going to start having a normal relationship again and stuff! And then everything got exposed. 

First she had to get over her ppd (which is a very good thing but also allowed all the exposure that’s following all this) with required a lot of help and support from our mom who’s too good for her honestly. Literally our mom is too good for her. It’s so frustrating because on the one hand she needs the help and I get that, she’s always needed the help and all the attention and I get it. I do. but it doesn’t change any of the bs she’s been and continues to put our mom through. Mom’s paying for everything for the baby: diapers, formula (she’s not breast feeding for reasons that are further down and it makes me want to scream), clothing, all of it. She was coming over every day mom was off work for a while. She still comes over a lot, but it’s not just cause she likes the help. My mom is doing everything she can for my sister and called me last nigh saying she feels like a failure as a parent and it’s not fair because mom did a great job with the two of us honestly and just cause my sister can’t make a good decision to save her soul shouldn’t be a reflection on my mom. I’m functional (mom said she thinks I’m smarter than she is and that’s something my ego does not need to hear right now cause lemme tell you what I know I’m being judgy from this pedestal atop of which I sit). I look at all my options and make decisions carefully. I watch my funds like a hawk because I’m a grown ass adult and I don’t want to have to ask my parents for help (I’ve managed not to use any of my severance package from getting laid off in April <<did I ever mention that here? I got laid off in April so I stepped up at my second job so I wouldn’t be without healthcare and stuff. Also also internalizing that ‘I’m the good daughter’ mantra is NOT GOOD STOP IT.>>  and a huge part of that is my fiance being able to handle the utilities so I can focus on my own bills (my part of the rent, groceries, phone/car/etc). Just cause one of us is a hot mess doesn’t mean she did anything wrong as a parent! She did a great job! Or we’d both be messes! But I super digress. 

((Mom and I also had a talk about whether or not she should report the whole situation detailed below this line to CPS, and my opinion was ‘technically you should be talking to a professional about this not your daughter, but yes’ and she said she was going to talk to one of the social workers at work about it so))

My sister’s husband is using opioids. again. He hasn’t done any of the parole stuff he was supposed to do after he got caught with them the first time (re: my other long ass personal posts cause I don’t know how to keep rant shit and fandom shit away from each other) and he had 3 years to do them, so his FEDERAL DRUG POSSESSION CHARGE is going to go on his RECORD. **insert all of the frustrate at the stupidity of it all facepalms here like, i can’t even** Apparently they haven’t paid their rent in months and so they got an eviction notice over the long weekend, they’re like over 10k in credit card debt (and it’s all in her name I’m sure cause she had good credit before she married this dumbass), and APPARENTLY last winter they were so far behind on their electric bill after heating their apartment with the OVEN because their heater was broken (and they couldn’t tell their landlord because they were already behind on their rent) the company made them pay the bill in CASH. like. what the fuck??? We found all this out from his mom (who’s very nice but also very nosy) over the last holiday weekend where my mom took the baby for a few nights so that my sister could go see some fireworks (and you know, have some fun) but ended up keeping him for a week and his mom had had the baby for the week before the holiday. like! what! and apparently she’s been smoking weed again which is why she wasn’t breastfeeding which, good, but also like. Logically I get it: she’s depressed? she smokes weed. We have a family history of addictive tendencies but whatever I get it, it’s her thing and whatever. but also!!! what!!! the hell!!! 

oof. 

And then on top of all that, I’ve been trying to Logic my way through my anxiety like I usually do but it’s just...not working this time. My usual method is to take whatever the feeling I’m feeling is, identify it, acknowledge it, figure out exactly where the root of that feeling in this situation is and deal with that. But half of this is wading through my sisters bs and there are only so many times you can say “you’re feeling this way in part because you feel like you’re morally/intellectually superior to your sister in a way that’s not great (tm) (but the data supports this response and then it’s off on a tangent)” and “through past experiences you’ve chosen not to address your emotional response, instead focusing on finding solutions and therefore are under equipped to deal with all these feelings (tm) and as you continue to try to suppress them so you can put on a retail face and ‘function’, they keep coming out as barely controlled bursts of chaotic energy that you usually channel into writing projects but as the bursts grow more unpredictable you’re anxiety is popping up to remind you of the unhealthy coping mechanisms we developed last time this happened but those don’t actually work the way you thought they did”. And then my anxiety comes in and says “yeah they do” and god if only they did work the way I tricked myself into thinking they did cause I could go back to only drinking my calories and eating a real meal once a day if that (for like family dinner or whatever) and with the way my schedule currently is I could and it would be so easy to just starve my anxiety again for like 10-12lbs but that’s when you start being able to really see my ribs and that’s not great fam and I’m not going to go down that road again we’re riding it out this time damn it. 

I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve made 2 new music playlists. One I use to calm down when my anxiety spikes, it’s got low-fi remixes and different grounding techniques and is super chill. The other is literally ‘ok, so you wanna have this anxiety attack? We’re Gonna Go??’ and it’s all stressful music. I’ve gotten to the point where I can crest and regroup in 12 minutes, and if I time the playlist correctly I can do the whole thing in the shower while I’m getting ready for the day so when I’m done I just have to get dressed and go. Which is also not great but whatever fucking works I guess?

Also big ass unrelated side note: I’ve come to the realization that I’m Ace, but not sex-repulsed, which was a thing I had to tell my fiance and he kinda gets it? But not really? Cause that’s really important to him and his sense of self-worth which is a whole other thing we’ll probably end up in couples therapy for, but we’re both willing to do that so. 

As soon as everything else settles down we’ll get to that. Which is what I’ve been telling myself about my emotions for years. As soon as this settles down I’ll try therapy again. As soon as I have health insurance that will actually make it affordable. As soon as I get settled. As soon as I have time (and then I over book myself). As soon as as soon as as soon as. 

I’m so annoyed with myself. But it’ll be fine.  Sunshine comes after some rain and you need some rain to grow.  

[revenblue]

4, 5, 6, 33, 40, 50?

[the ask meme in question]

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

Crack. I love a good crackfic. I don’t often write them bc they take effort to get right, but they’re so so fun.

Character study is another fave. I mean, it’s meta in fanfic form, of course I’d be all over that!

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

Probably Pretending right now, because I got to character study with it, also I’m pushing the whole ocelot thing... Also I’m still (slowly) working on the next chapter.

It’s not like there’s much competition, just my soulmate au and the blanket fort-

...Never mind, it’s definitely the blanket fort. It’s named after a line in my favourite song and everything.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Can I count my deviantart fics in this? Because my Sheik-focused fics were honestly terrible. And I don’t mean the writing, bc writing style is editable. No, it’s what I chose to write about that’s terrible. There’s no salvaging those ideas.

Otherwise... maybe the Dirkcapitation fic? I think I failed the *ahem* execution there.

(In contrast, I’m still not sorry about the crack mpreg selfcest loss.jpg baby-eating cannibalism fic.)

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Oh man... that’s a good question.

I think it’s tied between the multiple allcaps rants I received over And The Sun Will Set For You, and the obvious appreciation people (plural) had for “sleepthwarts” in I’m Six Foot Two etc.

And also every time someone says they reread a fic I wrote. Love that ♥

Also one time someone told me I’d made them like second person pov? Which I count as an achievement, haha.

No wait, probably the person who said they briefly shipped DownBoyShipping after reading my mpreg fic of that. That’s, uh, that’s a massive compliment. I made someone ship a literal hand and a literal ear, via mpreg.

Honourable mention to the person who read my crack mpreg incest songfic and responded with a (completely justified) “what the actual fuck did I just read”.

(Seriously though I’ve received so many lovely comments and it’s hard to pick a favourite.)

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

It’s not like I hide it, really, so, probably?

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Oof, that’s a hard one. My two favourite genres to write are crack (which isn’t any of those options) and, uh, how do I describe it... I could summarise the concept as “building a blanket fort to keep out the world that hurt them” I guess? Which is hurt/comfort that’s almost fluff but not quite.

If I had to choose... smut. That way I can throw in character study (bc my smut keeps turning into character study), toss in my favourite blend of hurt/comfort (heavy on the comfort with just a hint of hurt), get my sloppy interspecies makeout on. Maybe even pun at people again.

(On an unrelated note, it bothers me that there’s no Oxford comma in this question.)

Thanks for the ask!