#sorry the actual kissing took a backseat this time. im having a think about gender dysphoria

[suite43]

36 or 39 for Starbee? 💋

39: kissing for comfort

Starscream sighed, chin in one hand as he swiped around a row of holograms in front of him, musing about this or that detail as he went.

It was time for something new. He hadn't quite come up with an actual excuse nor explanation for when Bee asked why, but he could worry about that later. A small voice in the back of his head muttered just tell him the truth, but frankly, Starscream didn't feel in the mood for the little yellow mech telling him about how he just needed to accept himself, or how he was perfect just the way he was, or whatever other scrap someone like Bumblebee would say. It didn't help that he was forged. He didn't get it.

Besides, how could Starscream tell him that the reason he was rebuilding his frame, again, was because Bee had framed a photo of the two of them and left it on his desk with a bow and a note with a heart on it. It was a sweet gift, it was, and Bee looked so happy in the picture. But Starscream couldn't stand to look at himself.

He didn't think he was particularly bad looking. Most of the time, at least. Sure, he could obsess over this and that until the sun came up, but the frame wasn't ugly, it was fine, it just... It wasn't him. He didn't look at it and feel himself, but he knew, logically, that it was him, and that was uncomfortable. It made him almost nauseous to have to try and deal with that, with it being him and not him at the same time.

It would be the same if he got a new frame. He already knew that. If he talked to Bumblebee, that was probably what he would say. It's not going to make you happy, Star. You're not going to be able to just fix this so easily. Starscream hated it. Bee was right and he hated it.

Because the truth was that Starscream had never recognized himself. Even looking at the image of the frame Windblade had said was his true form, he didn't see himself. Whoever that Starscream was, it wasn't him. He didn't know what he was, he didn't know what he wanted, and right now he just never wanted to have to look at any face that was and wasn't his ever again.

Maybe he'd just cut himself out of the picture. Maybe he'd replace it with one of just Bee, or Bee and Thundercracker. Maybe he'd cover himself with the adorable, annoying little sticky notes Bee left around the apartment that said things like don't forget to eat and wheeljack's coming over at 7:00 and remember that i love you!

He looked at the picture, winced, and looked back at the row of potential new frames, none of them right and none of them him, and he groaned and slammed his face on the desk, burying his head in his arms.

He wasn't really sure how long he stayed like that, but at some point he suddenly realized there was a hand on his arm and a soft voice whispering his name.

"Hey, Bee," he muttered, voice muffled by his arms, refusing to look up.

"Are you alright, Star?"

"M'fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm," he said, shoving off Bee's hand. Bee didn't try to put it back, but Star felt a slight pang of hurt coming from him as his field winced inwards. "Fine."

"Planning on getting a new frame?" he asked carefully.

"Thinking about it," Star replied, looking up to glare at the row of holograms. "None of these, though. They're no good."

"Why not?" Bee asked.

"They just aren't." It was silent for a moment.

"Star, do you want me to leave you alone?" Bee asked. Starscream paused. He wasn't sure what he wanted. But Bumblebee, perfect, patient Bumblebee, didn't push. He waited. Starscream hated it.

"I... no," he decided. Every part of his brain was telling him to scream and yell and throw shit until too good too nice perfectly patient Bumblebee got the hell out of his life forever. Starscream had learned that he ought to ignore that part. Didn't mean it wasn't hard to.

"Okay... Do you want to tell me what's wrong, or do you want to talk about something else?" There wasn't any judgement in it. It was just a question, just an offer. No strings attatched. "I'm here, Starscream, for whatever you need."

"It's not... me. It's never me. No matter what I do I've never felt at home in my own body. But I don't know what else to do."

"Then why try?"

"Wh. what?" That... wasn't what Starscream had been expecting. "Are you seriously telling me to just give up?"

"No, I just mean, like. Maybe your body isn't ever gonna feel like you, but why does it have to? You change frames so much anyways, so it's not like any one is what you're stuck with forever. Why not just try to make it something you like instead of chasing after some nebulous sense of identity?" Bee shruged. "Maybe I'm way off base, but for me, I just. I've never felt like this," he gestured vaguely to his frame, "is who I am? It's a part of me, sure, but it's not most of me. When I think about who I am, I don't define it by, I dunno, how tall I am or what colour I wear right now. I just do what I enjoy, and the rest of what makes me, the important stuff, y'know, our personalities and the way we act and who we think we are, that stuff comes through no matter what."

"Where do you draw the line between 'thing you enjoy' and 'personality trait'?" Starscream asked.

"I dunno. That's part of what I mean, though. If you just do what you enjoy, it's going to look more like a reflection of who you are. Even if it never really feels that way from the inside, at least you'll have something you're proud to look at," Bee gestured to where Star had turned the picture frame backwards so he didn't have to see it.

"Hm. Worth a shot, I suppose," he shrugged. "I've... not thought about it that way before."

"I know, dork. You've never done anything just for fun, ever, in your miserable life," Bee said, teasing, pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, and Starscream smiled despite himself.

"And I suppose the life of Bumblebee has just been one big laugh riot?"

"You've met my friends, right? I couldn't avoid a good time even if I wanted to. Believe me, I've tried."

"Fair enough," Starscream sighed, looking back up at the holograms, dissipating them with a wave of his hand before pulling up a row of new options. "Help me pick?" He offered.

"Ooh, sure, scoot over!"

"Mmm, no, I don't think I will," Starscream said, instead scooping Bumblebee up and settling the smaller yellow mech in his lap, resting his head on Bee's shoulder. Bee laughed and pressed a kiss to Star's cheek before turning his attention to the variety of ideas Starscream had cooked up for new frames, muttering on about this and that.

"What about this one? I like the wings."

"Are you kidding? They're huge."

"Aw, but they look like a butterfly or something. We could match!" Bee twitched one doorwing where it was pressed between Star's chest and his own back. Starscream kissed along the top edge without really thinking about it, just enjoying having Bumblebee close, his weight and the warmth of his plating a grounding presence, giving Starscream something to focus on other than the droning thrum of discomfort running through the back of his mind.

"No, I'd be walking into doorframes for weeks. Besides, look at this one..."

[todobakudekukiridenkishinsosero]

The car ride that changed everything :)

 BTW THIS IS MY FIRST POV SO PLEASE TELL ME HOW I CAN MAKE IT BETTER!!!! 

(Note this is aged up so the characters in this are 18+ and this is in my pov and if you don’t like it, then don’t read it and I also added a name so if you want me to do one with just y/n then ill do one)

Main Character: Cj 

Age:18

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual (possibly gay)

Another main character: Katsuki Bakugo

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual (if not then gay)

Side characters: Kirishima, Sero, Denki and mina 

                                           .

   it’s the start of summer and the bakusquad wanted to go somewhere so they all decided where they were headed too and they wanted to invite me since im always hang with them. Btw we live together so the bakusquad lives with me until everyone finishes school(college)

*goes to your room*

Mina: hey bestie!!

Cj: ah!- oh hi mina what do you need?

Mina: well….me and the bakusquad are going on a road trip and we want you to join and I think bakugo would like it the most 

*Nudges you a bit*

Cj: eh? m-maybe …..

I’ve always had a crush on bakugo since we met at UA but i haven’t had the courage to tell him i liked him bc every person who tells him gets rejected and im afraid i’ll get rejected too.

Mina: Then it’s settled! We’re leaving this weekend since it’s Tuesday and everyone will have enough time to get ready!!

Cj: okay

Mina leaves my room and i go deep into thought about bakugo and mumbling things, making me flustered and red.

Cj: *mumbling*bakugo is...hot…

Suddenly i hear a knock at my door so i open it and to my surprise its katsuki

Cj: Kat? Oh, do you need anything???

Katsuki: just wondering if you’re going with us on the trip

Cj: oh..yeah I am! *smiles*

Katsuki: oh okay then goodnight 

Cj: Night!

Bakugo POV:

Bakugo goes back to his room and locks his door and lays in his bed and starts thinking about me. Little did i know he liked me too.

Bakugo: Damnit! Why...I want him to be mines and no one else’s..ugh! 

He goes into deep thought about how i could be his and forever <3

                                           The next day(Wednesday)

Kirishima: *yawns* babe? You up 

Denki: mm...5 more mintues kiri 

kirishima:*chuckles* yeah okay * kisses his head*

Kirishima heads to the bathroom and takes a shower and does his hair and comes out and wakes Denki and he does the same thing.

Denki: let’s eat breakfast then wake the others up 

Kirishima: yeah okay 

  Kirishima and Denki have been together since 2nd year at UA so this makes three years of being together, they go downstairs and sees me already up and dressed and eating.

Kirishima & denki: Hey Cj

Cj: oh hey guys *puts his plate in the sink*

Boys: so can you wake bakubro up while we wake the other love birds

Cj: no problem 

i laughed at their comment about Mina and sero being together for 2 years, i knock on his door feeling that it’s locked so i yelled a bit.

Cj: hey bakugo time to get up we have planes with the sqau-

Before i could finish my sentence, bakugo opened the door up

Bakugo: I know dumbass...I was putting on my shoes and other things 

Cj: oh okay then, Kiri and Denki went to go wake the love birds up 

Bakugo: okay ima go eat breakfast now

Cj: okay

Bakugo and the others ate breakfast and they drove in my truck and blasted TikTok music and bakugo vibed with some while the windows are rolled down and everyone smiling and laughing with each other. We all arel going shopping for the road trip this weekend.

Cj: Hey guys ima pull over and get some gas

Others-expect bakugo: okay

Bakugo: I’ll help you with it 

Cj: okay…(Odd he never does that)

After pumping the gas we head to the store and the girls go together and same with the guys. After everyone got what they needed me and bakugo went to the bathroom and came out and we drive back home. 

                                        The next day(Thursday)

Everyone is asleep while i  were the only one up and it was around 12 in the afternoon, so i went and took a shower, did my face routine and did my hair, and put my shoes on.

To my  surprise, after i  went downstairs i see bakugo on the couch watching tv. So i  speak.

Cj: Hey bakugo 

You said with a smile

Bakugo: hey...Cj, where are you going? 

Cj: oh well I was gonna go on a little walk then was gonna go back to the mall and walk around there-

Without missing a single beat bakugo said.

Bakugo: I’m coming with you and you have no say in this got it?

Cj: I- okay then…(is bakugo okay?? He’s being nice to me and it’s kinda cute and sweet)

Me and bakugo go outside and starts walking around the block then get in the car.

Bakugo: Hand me the keys I’m driving

Cj: okay 

I hand him the keys and my phone hooks to the car blasting loudly ^E.T by Katy Perry^ and I  turn the volume down,

Cj: I’m sorry heh I forgot to turn down the music from last night 

Bakugo: Dumbass that’s loud as hell…

 We arrive at the mall and get out and started walking around the mall.

Cj: So….

Bakugo: huh? What dumbass?

Cj: why did you come with me? It’s so..unlike you

Bakugo:(shit...) well you’re always getting lost so I came to make sure that you don’t get lost or do or even buy something stupid

Cj: oh...heh I guess so 

Bakugo: So where are we heading to first?

Cj: Um hot topic…. Then spencers then the food court 

Bakugo: okay then let’s get going dumbass 

You guys go into hot topic and I see this black skirt and red top and gets it and some other clothes, snacks and etc.

Bakugo: That’s all your getting Cj?

Cj: Yes I am bc I wanna go to spencers before the food court

Bakugo: okay then 

I pay and leave to go to spencers. Once I made it we went in.

Cj: oo this looks so cute!

I found some more clothes and looked around more while bakugo followed me around.

Bakugo: Oi dumbass what are you looking for?

Cj: nothing just looking around- (is that a sex toy??)

i go up to it and notices what it reminds me of and i back away slowly and go pay for the clothes. Bakugo looking confused until he looked as well and left with you.

Bakugo: we agree to never speak of this?

Cj: agreed.

We head down to the food court and we found the place we wanted to eat at. we ate burger king.

Cj: hey bakugo?

Bakugo: Hm?

Cj: Thanks for coming out with me! 

I said with a warm smile.

Bakugo: oh no problem 

we leave after eating and head home and we had a squad night.

                              The next day at night(Friday,9 pm)

I were warming up the car and put my bag in the trunk with the rest of the squad’s stuff. Im driving and bakugo sitting on the passager side while kirishima is on the right side, sero in the further back with mina and Denki on the left side in the backseat. I may be wondering where they’re going well i’ll find out once you guys get there.

Cj: everyone ready? Nobody left anything before we pull off?

Everyone nodded and i asked who wanted to play the music from my phone and mina wanted it. So she played (All about that bass-Megan Trainor). Then i stopped and filled up on gas then started hitting the road.

Cj: So...what should we play

Bakugo: The hell you’re talking about dumbass

Kirishima: OH! Do you mean a car ride game?

Denki: aw man I love those 

Mina and Sero:Ikr! They’re always so fun to play epslly when we have a long drive to go!

Cj: Yeah how about I spy with my little eye?

Everyone agreed and even bakugo. i turned down the music so it’s like background music and Denki starts the game.

Denki: I spy something blonde and grumpy

Kiri: Bakubro!

Mina, Sero: Bakugo!

Cj: kats…

Bakugo: damn idiot! Tf why me!?

Denki: Idk you’re the first person I see bro

 Bakugo:tch...fine my turn

You start blushing for no reason at all.

Bakugo: I spy something red 

Denki: Kirishima’s hair 

Kiri: My hair?

Mina: Cj

Sero: Kiri’s hair 

Bakugo: No and Raccoon eyes got it

Cj: hah?! 

Mina: Yes! I knew it! Girls instinct

Boys: ohhhh…

i blush harder and harder meaning my face turning redder than Kirishima’s hair. The boys continue to laugh but get Bakugo’s point bc their the only ones who know his crush on me.

Cj:(why?...why me?)

Bakugo smiles at me and i  turn to the road while letting i window down so i feel something cold against my face. 

Bakugo: Your turn pinky 

Mina: okay! I spy with my little eye something bright!

Cj: oh the sun

Kiri: denki’s hair 

Sero: the sun

Bakugo: (dumb shitty hair) the sun

Denki: My hair 

Mina: Cj got it first! So Denki and Kiri you’re wrong 

Cj: Oh okay then 

We go another few rounds before everyone wanted to listen to music and do their own thing. Three hours passed and it was ^9:08pm^ and everyone had fallen asleep and i see this resting place so you pull over and the only person who wasnt asleep was bakugo to my surprise. So i get out and goes to the bathroom and so does bakugo.

Cj: I’m surprised 

Bakugo: what do you mean extra?

Cj: You’d usually fall asleep around 8 pm so it’s kind of weird ya know

Bakugo: oh well you look tired so I wanted to drive some anyway

Cj: oh okay...that’s fine 

We sit on the hood of the truck and look up at the stars and we talked more than ever and soon enough i fell asleep so Bakugo puts me in the passager seat and got in the car and shuts it off and fell asleep as well.

                                 The next day(7 am)

i woke up to music and bakugo driving so i sit up and notice his jacket on me and i look at him. Admiring him his eyes, his calmness, his body. 

 Bakugo: You’re gonna keep staring or say something dumbass

Cj: oh sorry

Bakugo: For what??

Cj: oh I assume it made you uncomfortable

Bakugo: no not really(should I pull over on this cliff? yeah)

Bakugo pulls over and gets out and opens my door and brings me out and closing the door behind me. giving bakugo a confused look. 

Bakugo: I wanted you to see the sunrise with me…

Cj: oh well it does look lovely doesn’t it?

Bakugo: yeah it does...hey can I ask you something?

Cj: yeah okay? (I wonder whats he’s gonna ask me)

Bakugo: okay...um do you like anyone?

Cj: um...yeah actually wbu do you like someone?

Bakugo: May I ask who it is and yeah I do dumbass

Cj: oh...well its you

Bakugo:oh...OH! wait really?

Cj:yeah...its okay if you dont like me-

Without a heart beat he kissed me, we both have a slight blush look on our face

Cj:w-what?!

Bakugo: i like you too dumbass 

CJ:oh um...what does this means now?

Bakugo lets out a sign and asks

Bakugo:ugh.....cj would you like to be my boyfriend?

I say back with me smiling like crazy, blushing mess

Cj:YES!

[toppdoggyio]

Feeling You for the First Time

Wonshik; Fluff; Gender-Neutral; HappyWonshikDay!; 1024 Words

He doesn’t know it, but Wonshik’s about to get the best birthday present of his life.

Anonymous asked:

Omg may I request a ravi scenario? I hope it's not too late! So I'd like a scenario where (y/n) and Ravi have a long distance relationship and when ravis bday i, the members fly you in and when ravi sees you he freezes for a sec bc he thinks it's not true but then they hug and both of them start to cry, it's okay bc it's really overwhelming

hi this is rEALLY LATE AND IM SORRY I KNOW IM AN ASSHOLE BUT IM A BUSY ASSHOLE PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HOPE U LIKE IT

Clouds drift past the window, faster as the plane descends. Your foot taps in anticipation, fingers tapping a pattern on your thigh. There’s nothing that could explain how you feel, minutes away from landing. Today you’re finally going to see Wonshik for the first time. He’s honestly the love of your life and now you’re his birthday present.

Excitement took over your body, but nervousness coursed through your veins. Your heart lurched, full of gratitude for the rest of the band, limbs warm with love for you boyfriend. A bit of anger was in there too, anger because it had taken six years for this to happen. But it was finally happening and all of the emotions inside you made you want to fall into Wonshik’s arms and cry.

Although you have been dating for six years, you were friends longer. The two of you had met online some eight, nine years ago when the two of you were still teenagers in high school. It was on some forum, but neither of you can really remember what for anymore. Back then it was easy, even though you lived hundreds of miles way. You’d skype almost every night, text all day, make promises to see each other during the summer. It never happened. Then he joined Vixx and things became harder. Still, you held on, for all these years. You love him and he loves you.

None of this could be possible without Wonshik’s bandmates, though. They were the ones that set this up, even helped pay for the plane ticket when you couldn’t cover it all. “We’re just tired of seeing him mope around because he can’t see you,” they said, but you knew they really wanted to see him happy, and you were thankful for that. And, even though you’re here for Wonshik, you’re actually really excited to meet everyone! You aren’t unfamiliar with the rest of the group. They would always bug Wonshik during video chats with you, even though they promised to stop after he introduced them. Neither of you really minded, though.

***

Wonshik sighed, slumping in the backseat of the van. Hakyeon had woken him up, early on his birthday, and rushed him to shower and get dressed in something nice. For the love of god please wear something nice, he said. Fuck you, Wonshik had mumbled, heading for the shower anyways. Then, once everyone was ready, they slapped a blindfold on him and shoved him into the car, Taekwoon buckling his seatbelt for him, patting his thigh when he finished. The car started and they were off to god knows where.

Clearly, they were trying to do something nice and Wonshik was grateful for that, but did it really have to be at seven in the morning? The rest of Vixx was sorta used to Wonshik’s complaining by now, though. Wonshik was always grumpy on the mornings of his birthday. He never told them why, but they could tell when Wonshik tells you over skype, “I wish I could’ve woken up next to you today. But at least I get to fall asleep next to you.” He’d pause, then say “Even though you’re not really here.” with sadness heavy in his voice, on his tongue, in his mouth, in his heart.

The van stops and Wonshik can hear seatbelts unbuckle. Then, his blindfold is off, but a hand quickly covers his eyes. “Close your eyes.” He can hear Hongbin whisper in front of him and he does as told. Something is placed on his face, sunglasses he assumes. They must be in public. Then he’s out of the car and walking somewhere, up some stairs and through a door and suddenly it’s loud. People are chattering and bustling about, he hears the sounds of wheels moving across the floor and occasional beeps. Where is he?

“Flight number 32412 has landed.” booms a voice from the intercom. Jaehwan curses and Wonshik feels himself being dragged faster. Flight? Wonshik thinks, confused. Are we at an airport? Who’s flying in? Suddenly, Wonshik feels anxious. His palms begin to sweat, heart thumping. Something’s going to happen today, something life changing, maybe. He knows it, he can feel it in his bones. They stop. Sanghyuk whispers behind Wonshik. “We’re at the right gate, right hyung?” Hakyeon was about to answer, but he was cut off by a sudden commotion. Then the sunglasses were off and Wonshik opened his eyes.

People were pouring through an airport gate with luggage in hand, some going to meet their family, others heading straight to baggage check. Wonshik scanned over the people, confused. Who was he looking for? He turned to Hakyeon, silently asking, but the leader just smiled and nodded his head toward the crowd. Wonshik looked back and squinted after a few seconds. A familiar face was looking over the crowd and no fucking way. The person broke out into a huge smile when they spotted the group and started running towards them and Wonshik almost choked, oh my god. It was you, actually you, in person running at him right now and Wonshik really couldn’t believe it. But then you were in his arms and you were crying and he was crying. You buried your face in his shoulder and took everything in, the way he smelled, the way he squeezed you so tight you couldn’t breathe, his body smushed against yours. Everything happening around the two of you was just gone. Nobody knew how long you stayed like that, whispering in each other’s ears, but when you pulled away, the gate was empty.

Wonshik’s hands slid from your shoulders to your face and he looks you in the

eyes. “I can’t believe I’m touching you.” He says, so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. You smiled softly.

“I know.”

“I get to go to sleep next to you, for real. I get to wake up to you tomorrow.” You nodded.

“I know.” You whisper. Then he’s kissing you and you’re lost in him again, and there’s nothing in the world that could’ve made you feel better than when your lips finally touched his.