#also for emphasis bee is not the kind of person to actually try and talk star out of getting a new frame so he can ~accept himself~

[suite43]

36 or 39 for Starbee? 💋

39: kissing for comfort

Starscream sighed, chin in one hand as he swiped around a row of holograms in front of him, musing about this or that detail as he went.

It was time for something new. He hadn't quite come up with an actual excuse nor explanation for when Bee asked why, but he could worry about that later. A small voice in the back of his head muttered just tell him the truth, but frankly, Starscream didn't feel in the mood for the little yellow mech telling him about how he just needed to accept himself, or how he was perfect just the way he was, or whatever other scrap someone like Bumblebee would say. It didn't help that he was forged. He didn't get it.

Besides, how could Starscream tell him that the reason he was rebuilding his frame, again, was because Bee had framed a photo of the two of them and left it on his desk with a bow and a note with a heart on it. It was a sweet gift, it was, and Bee looked so happy in the picture. But Starscream couldn't stand to look at himself.

He didn't think he was particularly bad looking. Most of the time, at least. Sure, he could obsess over this and that until the sun came up, but the frame wasn't ugly, it was fine, it just... It wasn't him. He didn't look at it and feel himself, but he knew, logically, that it was him, and that was uncomfortable. It made him almost nauseous to have to try and deal with that, with it being him and not him at the same time.

It would be the same if he got a new frame. He already knew that. If he talked to Bumblebee, that was probably what he would say. It's not going to make you happy, Star. You're not going to be able to just fix this so easily. Starscream hated it. Bee was right and he hated it.

Because the truth was that Starscream had never recognized himself. Even looking at the image of the frame Windblade had said was his true form, he didn't see himself. Whoever that Starscream was, it wasn't him. He didn't know what he was, he didn't know what he wanted, and right now he just never wanted to have to look at any face that was and wasn't his ever again.

Maybe he'd just cut himself out of the picture. Maybe he'd replace it with one of just Bee, or Bee and Thundercracker. Maybe he'd cover himself with the adorable, annoying little sticky notes Bee left around the apartment that said things like don't forget to eat and wheeljack's coming over at 7:00 and remember that i love you!

He looked at the picture, winced, and looked back at the row of potential new frames, none of them right and none of them him, and he groaned and slammed his face on the desk, burying his head in his arms.

He wasn't really sure how long he stayed like that, but at some point he suddenly realized there was a hand on his arm and a soft voice whispering his name.

"Hey, Bee," he muttered, voice muffled by his arms, refusing to look up.

"Are you alright, Star?"

"M'fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm," he said, shoving off Bee's hand. Bee didn't try to put it back, but Star felt a slight pang of hurt coming from him as his field winced inwards. "Fine."

"Planning on getting a new frame?" he asked carefully.

"Thinking about it," Star replied, looking up to glare at the row of holograms. "None of these, though. They're no good."

"Why not?" Bee asked.

"They just aren't." It was silent for a moment.

"Star, do you want me to leave you alone?" Bee asked. Starscream paused. He wasn't sure what he wanted. But Bumblebee, perfect, patient Bumblebee, didn't push. He waited. Starscream hated it.

"I... no," he decided. Every part of his brain was telling him to scream and yell and throw shit until too good too nice perfectly patient Bumblebee got the hell out of his life forever. Starscream had learned that he ought to ignore that part. Didn't mean it wasn't hard to.

"Okay... Do you want to tell me what's wrong, or do you want to talk about something else?" There wasn't any judgement in it. It was just a question, just an offer. No strings attatched. "I'm here, Starscream, for whatever you need."

"It's not... me. It's never me. No matter what I do I've never felt at home in my own body. But I don't know what else to do."

"Then why try?"

"Wh. what?" That... wasn't what Starscream had been expecting. "Are you seriously telling me to just give up?"

"No, I just mean, like. Maybe your body isn't ever gonna feel like you, but why does it have to? You change frames so much anyways, so it's not like any one is what you're stuck with forever. Why not just try to make it something you like instead of chasing after some nebulous sense of identity?" Bee shruged. "Maybe I'm way off base, but for me, I just. I've never felt like this," he gestured vaguely to his frame, "is who I am? It's a part of me, sure, but it's not most of me. When I think about who I am, I don't define it by, I dunno, how tall I am or what colour I wear right now. I just do what I enjoy, and the rest of what makes me, the important stuff, y'know, our personalities and the way we act and who we think we are, that stuff comes through no matter what."

"Where do you draw the line between 'thing you enjoy' and 'personality trait'?" Starscream asked.

"I dunno. That's part of what I mean, though. If you just do what you enjoy, it's going to look more like a reflection of who you are. Even if it never really feels that way from the inside, at least you'll have something you're proud to look at," Bee gestured to where Star had turned the picture frame backwards so he didn't have to see it.

"Hm. Worth a shot, I suppose," he shrugged. "I've... not thought about it that way before."

"I know, dork. You've never done anything just for fun, ever, in your miserable life," Bee said, teasing, pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, and Starscream smiled despite himself.

"And I suppose the life of Bumblebee has just been one big laugh riot?"

"You've met my friends, right? I couldn't avoid a good time even if I wanted to. Believe me, I've tried."

"Fair enough," Starscream sighed, looking back up at the holograms, dissipating them with a wave of his hand before pulling up a row of new options. "Help me pick?" He offered.

"Ooh, sure, scoot over!"

"Mmm, no, I don't think I will," Starscream said, instead scooping Bumblebee up and settling the smaller yellow mech in his lap, resting his head on Bee's shoulder. Bee laughed and pressed a kiss to Star's cheek before turning his attention to the variety of ideas Starscream had cooked up for new frames, muttering on about this and that.

"What about this one? I like the wings."

"Are you kidding? They're huge."

"Aw, but they look like a butterfly or something. We could match!" Bee twitched one doorwing where it was pressed between Star's chest and his own back. Starscream kissed along the top edge without really thinking about it, just enjoying having Bumblebee close, his weight and the warmth of his plating a grounding presence, giving Starscream something to focus on other than the droning thrum of discomfort running through the back of his mind.

"No, I'd be walking into doorframes for weeks. Besides, look at this one..."

[fridayturtle]

Miraculous Ladybug Rewrite/au

So uh about to post art for it so I figure I should post about it for the main long-term plot differences and premise difference. The main difference is instead of Master Fu only losing two miraculous, he loses all of them EXCEPT the ladybug, cat, and turtle. The main goal isn’t just to defeat hawkmoth, but to find and get all of the miraculous back to Master Fu as asked.

Overall premise differences:

Marinette's characterization is a bit different here, she's generally much more reclusive and only talks to Alya, and even then they're not the closest. She's only really close with family. She's more intensely bullied by Chloe.

Both of them were tested and chosen by their kwamis, not really master Fu, who's going to be a bit more of a mess in this au (he never got proper training afterall)

Both Chat Noir and Ladybug have contact with Master Fu fairly early on and equally

The miraculous cure has a time limit. It can only fix things for a few hours after the damage is done. (Chat Blanc's timeline chaos, for example, could never be fixed in any shape or form by the miracle cure.)

There's a secret society and research hidden from the public on the miraculous

As a result they do have to fight other miraculous holders every now and then, mainly in S1 (like the bee, the snake, and pig miraculous)

Not all of this is villainy, it's sometimes people trying to be heroes. Ladybug and Chat Noir try to teach others that not everyone should, or can be a hero though.

The Agreste family and Graham de Vanily family are all villains here working together

Emilie (Still kinda dead here) and Amelie have heavy involvement in the secret groups researching miraculous

Same miraculous for Nathalie and Gabriel, Amelie gets the mouse

A LOT of Amelie manipulating Gabriel

unfortunately going with sentimonster adrien in this au (which is the reason he's excluded from his family's villainy)

This is already a lot, the other big details are eventual fox holder Felix and eventual butterfly holder Emelie. Gonna put it under read more since it's already a long post, but here's the rest of main differences that happen.

Warning this gets long rip

This is pretty much a S2 Rundown:

Amelie using the mouse miraculous to spy on ladybug and chat noir (it's easy when you're small and everywhere to use it to spy)

Lila in S2 has the real fox miraculous, and in the fight against ladybug, she loses for Hawkmoth to come in and get it at the end (his first physical public appearance)

He then gives Felix the fox miraculous

Felix pretty much becomes a phantom thief with it called the Phantom Fox as a result lol. He steals jewelry across Paris (a chance to get the missing miraculous, and also enjoy a fun hobby of his)

Honestly he's just out here to waste so much of Ladybug and Chat Noir's time because it's fun for him (really big stunts of stealing stuff and just being a public bother, but Master Fu has emphasis that someone with a miraculous has to stop him lol)

Adrien's family is all together a lot but exclude him constantly despite a lot of episodes being him trying to impress them

Felix almost gets caught and revealed. Gabriel realizes how if he's caught there could be an investigation, and even worse, he could be mistaken for Adrien even if the miraculous is only taken for a minute.

I hate to make it edgy (this goes in with a later plot point though) but as a result Gabriel harms Felix pretty badly. Still personally debating what kind of injury or the specifics, but to the point where he has some facial injury to not be mistaken as Adrien, and for Felix to not be as casual when using the fox miraculous. After that, he stops making public appearances too (Adrien is told he went back to London for study-related reasons) and is slightly mute at times. Gabriel lies to Emilie that it was Ladybug and Chat Noir's doing to Emilie, causing her to start having actual resentment to them.

I know canon is going otherwise lately but Gabriel is fairly unaware about miraculous research and the potential of it. His goal is just to sacrifice Adrien for Emilie to come back to life, nothing bigger

He starts actually using Mayura and Amelie offensively in what would be S3. Happens pretty similarly to canon honestly with how Mayura is used, except for the main climax:

Gabriel does win one day

During this Gabriel, Marinette and Adrien all get to know each others identities (no one else)

They lost outside of the mansion but he takes Adrien back for his weird sacrifice thing and so that he can see Emilie the second she awakens

Even though wearing multiple miraculous is supposed to be hard in canon Hawkmoth wears all four lol, so in this au he's only able to wear two at once without hurting himself. So once in the mansion he's not wearing the butterfly and peacock

This clown gives them to Nathalie to hold onto

Gabriel dies instead of Adrien (woo!)

Because Adrien's right there he's able to take back the ladybug and cat miraculous

For clarification no Emilie doesn't notice she's out here dealing with way too much after being resurrected and having her husband die for her (and almost kill their sentimonster son )

Society is aware of their failure, the Agreste family is looked into, and they weren't able to miraculous cure the casualties or destruction away this time

It's not exactly. hard to steal from a sick woman. so Felix steals the butterfly and peacock miraculous

So it's generally a really big loss for Adrien and Marinette. They know each other's identities which is nice sure sure, but due to the major loss, disappointment in them from society, and the hurt Adrien feels a lot of the time spent is in somber comfort of each other instead. They're not sure what's going to happen next, so they keep their identities secret from society. They just have each other now.

Everything after is, well. even more different from canon because I went feral. Basically S4:

Ya'll know how I mentioned Marinette is a lot more reclusive? She's still bright as ladybug, but this effects that too. She really refused any interviews or explanations on herself or miraculous in the past, and now that really screws them over. A lot of distrust from society because they have no statements from her to know what's going on.

Amelie is so glad Gabriel died lmao, fake mourning for Emilie's sake though

Emilie created Adrien to just be her child, but not a full person. The fact he's in school, has a free will, and a life outside of her? Kind of kills her. She doesn't know how to interact with him really.

She falls into a similarly reclusive state to Gabriel when it comes to him with a bit more awkward-try-hard parent moments. She was ready to *own* a child not be an actual parent lol

Amelie gives Emelie the butterfly miraculous, and keeps the peacock for herself.

Because of the evidence of harm on Felix, during the investigation of the family they realize he has the fox but the family is able to plea that he was forced against his will and traumatized from it. (Amelie might be faking this, but doesn't know how true it is)

This is all just set up in episode 1 and the feelings happening throughout the season. Actual Stuff that happens though?

Emilie and Amelie make a plan to "adjust" the world they're in. Neither of them like how things have ended up for their sons, Emilie has been dead for a while and is bad at adjusting herself to the changes around her, so they may as well.

They just need for Emilie to play the hero and Amelie to play the villain to do that.

Nathalie isn't arrested, but is suspected so this is a pretty good pass for Amelie to use the peacock as long as she's hidden while using it. She makes sentimonsters that terrorize Paris.

Emilie meanwhile uses the power of the butterfly to become the supposedly-hero "The Monarch", who gives civilians the power to become heroes based on their passions or drive to defeat sentimonsters.

The Monarch just straight up contacts and makes a ton of interviews on the news. Explaining the miraculous, saying she's a member from the society researching miraculous who Felix gave the miraculous to (and why secret identities are important but she'll reveal that much), and bringing all that jazz that to light.

In contrast to LB and CN, she keeps saying how anyone can, and should be a hero.

Sooooo much passive aggressive shade on LB and CN during these lmao

A lot of her discussion about them is how they're just kids, "not trained or prepared", how she's the one not sure how they got the miraculous which is suspicious of them, with a lot of fake sympathy towards them too. (Mainly being it's not their fault, with her stating they were bound to fail eventually given how they are)

She does actually reach out to the folk she makes heroes to train and discuss things with them. A lot of it is honestly lowkey manipulating and trying to be a parental/role figure towards them while using them though

She especially reaches out to people who've tried to be heroes before and have some issues.

Like Chloe, reasoning LB and CN were wrong, how she's wrongly judged by society, how she deserves better and another chance, trying to be the kind figure Audrey isn't, etc.

The heroes don't always come after LB and CN. It's just The Monarch tells them to exclude them at best because they can't be trusted, and sometimes they *happen* to try and capture them because hey, maybe that'll impress The Monarch. And she doesn't really stop them from doing that lol

Felix is now using the fox miraculous pretty much 24/7. The police revealed the Phantom Fox was him and some info about what happened to him anyway (Not that Marinette trust that)

It's true the group of heroes The Monarch makes start off good but it starts to become an extreme "justice" group that'll get more intense over time, punishing whoever they see fit.

This ended up being so. So overly long so I'm gonna end it here since I have art and some more writing to show for the rest of it, but yeah. Just a big list of stuff about my au/rewrite, sorry it's kind of a mess but I'm having way too much fun with it.

[47crayons]

THE WICKED WITHIN—A COMIC SANS WIP REINTRO

!!!!! it's here :D the wip that started to consume me and has been continuing to do so since, now with a much better sense of what exactly is Happening

current tww taglist let me know to be +/- !! @a-completely-normal-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @wannabeauthorzofija @magic-is-something-we-create @croctears @writeblrfantasy @opes-magnas @author-a-holmes @zoya-writes@fuyugomori @ink-fireplace-coffee

transcript is under the cut!!!

[transcript: a powerpoint presentation of black text on white background, written entirely in comic sans.

start slide one the top left corner reads in red, "warnings (most relevant) war, death, drugs (& addiction), poison". in the center, "the wicked within", and underneath it in smaller font, "a comic sans reintro by @47crayons". the comments around the entire slide read "a family that is so found!!!", "gang rivalry :D and gang content in general", "crime found family basically", "childhood friends to STILL FRIENDS", "all queer cast :p", "eat the rich (not quite, but it’s the right sentiment aldskjfls)", "kickass women, yeah bay bee", "nuanced relationships between different groups :D", "morally grey characters!!!", "so many different governments!!!", "a (mostly alsjflksdj) stable relationship!!!" end slide one

start slide two in the beginning of time… there were four gods: eltenjer, he/him, earth; skari, he/him, fire; aenged, they/them, air; thilda, she/her, water. i didn’t /mean/ for them to have genders, but a quiet breeze whispered “psst. i use they/them.” in the beginning? so you mean… they’re not there anymore? kind of! the gods need followers to survive, and after several unfortunate events, they lost the majority of their followers. the aforementioned unfortunate events: the great ruination, in which natural disasters caused several years of famine and other hardship. the restoration era, in which renovation led people to believe they can live without the gods. if the gods are dead, what’s the point? the gods aren’t /really/ dead, closer to dormant. they can’t actively interact with the mortal realm, but IF they had followers, they would come back to life. oh. did i mention that they control the magic. end slide two

start slide three the dormant gods who can't do... anything control the magic??? hey, no one said magic always has to work. foreshadowing alert huge foreshadowing alert. let’s talk about how magic works, shall we :D people use the Spirit to do magic. people have a Vessel (representation of stamina or how much Sprit can be used at once, can be trained!). people also have a Strength (a type of magic that works well with the user, these have varying frequencies which also depends on location). there’s too much i could say here, but the important thing is the main characters’ Strengths. the right depicts an image of a flowchart showing that gods need followers and produce sprit. people need spirit to do magic. end slide three

start slide four okay but where are we??? where could the magic be so fucked? well, here, of course! the left side shows a line art map, split into five parts going clockwise: portingdale, worchester, the hooks, elderwood, unlabeled. the legend shows that there are mountains in portingdale, forests in elderwood, and rivers that run from portingdale to everywhere else. the place where the four labeled regions meet is called the Inner City. the text on the right reads. welcome to Kjer! there are 3 districts. but wait! there are five? sections? and one isn’t even labelled. worchester used to be a district,,, but it left after the war began. the unlabeled section is the disputed region (re: war). let’s talk more about this war. elderwood wanted easier access to water (see: the rivers in the Wetlands) elderwood & portingdale have been fighting there on and off for over half a century. the hooks has three wards: west (hella rich), south (lower income), north (somewhere in between). end slide four

start slide five whomst. skip to the next slide if you want the actual characters. character basics: the unnecessarily-winded-and-cram-a-lot-of-lore-in version. in the North Ward of The Hooks, there are three main gangs. Kaer Styen, meaning “wicked ones”, Ghetfaer Skarnen, meaning “trickster lords”, Ad Knesten, meaning “the grumbles”. that was so many capital letters i don’t like capital letters alskjdflksjd. they have rivalries and conflicts from time to time, but it’s pretty rare. the tww cast is kaer styen !!! their main means of profit is a drug called jezdin. relieves physical and mental pain. lethal in high. quantities/ when tampered with. can also be addictive. they operate out of a dingy tavern-like building, and they live upstairs!!! okay so this is purely for vibes. how did u know. end slide five

start slide six the Gang. literally :3 Kaer Styen, my beloved. the first thing in each of their bios is their Strength (re: the magic slide). artbreeders!!! i fixed quite a few of them, but my artbreeder skills are questionable at best. this slide is split into three columns. the first column shows a white person with short, brown, curly hair and a firm, but not angry, facial expression. len, he/him, pan. Shifter (can manipulate physical properties). cynical, very cynical (because he has killer instincts). “oh people are dying? am i dying? are you dying? why should i care?” in a relationship with cal. the second column shows a person who appears east asian with long, black, wavy hair and fair skin. chloe, she/her, aroace. Chemist (chemistry but magical). literal archery god. also she’s so quiet it’s SCARY. seems welcoming, emphasis on /seems/ she’ll destroy your ass. knows what you’re feeling. she just. knows. the third column shows a white person with dirty blonde hair. they are smiling. cal, they/them, bi. Whisperer (can persuade others through speech/music). so casually funny all your burdens disappear for a hot minute. gets very attached very deeply. grew up in Portingdale which becomes Important later. end slide six

start slide seven cont. also they have piercings!!!! maybe i will make some picrews later (listen, i KNOW i’ve said this before but. maybe i’m for realsies this time, okay?) this slide is also split into three columns. the first a smiling white female with light blonde hair. eden, she/her?, demi lesbian. Healer (healing magic <3). seen hell and doesn’t want others to suffer. still believes in the gods’ existence. we Don’t talk about her awful parents. raised by a lovely woman in the South Ward, known as Nana. this eye (left) is almost PURPLE which i didn’t do on purpose but is honestly such a cool idea. the second column shows a partially smiling black man with short curly hair. jereth, he/him, gay. powerful life magic thing (will be spoilers if i talk any more). joins them at the beginning. honestly kind of scared of them (who wouldn’t be), but wants to live up to expectations. throws himself into stuff to avoid Thoughts. the third column shows a woman with brown skin, black wavy hair, and a small smile. she is NOT a member of Kaer Styen, but i’m talking about her here all the same. adalaide, she/her, bi (i didn’t like the e in adelaide alskdfjlsj). Melder (metals and the like). heir to the Portingdale throne (assuming her dad doesn’t disown her). Cal’s ex from a few~ years ago she’s still a lil’ hung up on them. technically an antagonist but i love her. so all my characters are queer sue me </3 end slide seven

start slide eight some semblance of plot? coming right up!! the four (jereth isn’t there yet!) are attacked in the Inner City. turns out it’s portingdale soldiers. and then they discover that portingdale has been poisoning the southern rivers (affects worchester and the south ward) because worchester doesn’t really contribute to Kjer as a whole. word gets out, and elderwood, naturally, is even angrier at portingdale (remember, they've been at war). so, they try to stop portingdale from being power hungry enough to poison the entirety of a country while learning about why worchester is so isolated while ALSO trying not to get killed by everyone who hates them. end slide eight

start slide nine memes :> the first is the meme of spongebob reading a sheet of paper and burning it. the paper reads, "going into worchester by yourself is going to get you KILLED", and spongebob is labelled "chloe". the second is the levels of brain template labelled "jereth". from the weakest to most powerful: "trying to figure out his magic", "doing it by accident", "saving everyone's lives". the third is the sleeping person and brain meme. brain: "you're going to portingdale". cal: yeah, i know. brain: you'll see adalaide. cal's eyes are wide open in fear. the fourth says "corporate needs you to find the difference between this image and this image". the first image says, "family", and the second one says, "len, chloe, cal, jereth." eden says, "they're the same picture". the fifth is the spiderman copycat meme where jereth is copying len. end slide nine

/end transcript]

[facets-and-rainbows]

Blue Exorcist 10th anniversary book Q&A session

The 10th anniversary book has a section where Katoh answers 100 questions submitted by fans on Twitter, so here they are translated/paraphrased! May contain manga spoilers up to the recent flashback arc, so be warned.

(Note that I’m playing it very fast and loose here because there are A HUNDRED OF THEM, so not exact wordings, but it should capture the gist. Lemme know if there are any you want elaborated on)

1. Katoh likes the feel of traditional drawing more than digital but is impressed with how far digital has come

2. Meph THOROUGHLY ABUSES spacetime to watch all his shows and ensure that he gets all the merch he wants

3. Did the girls take all of Yukio’s school uniform buttons in middle school? Yes, they did (apparently it’s like A Thing for girls to ask for a button from their crush at middle school graduation, based on some sad movie from the 60s where a guy who got drafted as a kamikaze pilot gave a girl one of his uniform buttons to remember him by)

4. Rin's tail is about a meter long

5. There are tons of servants working at Mephisto's mansion. Belial is in charge of them

6. Katoh borrows from all sorts of neat real locations when making settings

7. Katoh identifies with pretty much all the characters the most! Except Lucifer.

8. Demon designs she's proud of include the impure king and hachirou, pretty much anything that was the main one in an arc

9. Katoh lists a bunch of her favorite musical artists/music she’s listening to recently: King Gnu, Official Hige Dandism, Kenshi Yonezu, BAD HOP, Sakanaction, Keyakizaka 46, Hypnosis Mic, Aimer, B’Z, Queen Bee.

10. Awww the rabbit manga that characters are often reading isn't just Robo to Usakichi, it's an even older one that she drew as a little kid

11. She likes industrial style interior designs

12. Rin and Yukio alternated who got the top bunk growing up, because they couldn't agree on it lol

13. Katoh cares a whole lot about panel layouts and speech bubble positions, might even be her favorite part of the process (it shows!)

4. Katoh does NOT have a mashou, lol

15. Rin has probably been practicing in secret so he can learn to carry stuff with his tail

16. Izumo probably got into shojo manga around 1st grade, her mom had some around the house

17. Specialty dishes: Rin - lots of stuff but especially nabe Yuri - stuff you can throw together quickly Shiro - stuff he learned from Yuri and/or cookbooks, alongside teaching Rin Yukio - Does. Not. Cook.

18. Can't pick a favorite place she's been on research, but there's no place like Japan

19. Kinzou's band isn't currently meeting because demons, but he's probably still thinking of new songs

20. Hardest characters to draw: anyone with detailed flowing hair. Hardest to write for: Lightning and Gedouin. She had to go read books about serial killers specifically for material for Gedouin, lol 

21. Suguro actually gets a dorm room to himself, though allegedly Yukio is technically assigned as his roommate, lol. Didn't end up that way what with Yukio being a teacher and also Rin’s whole...situation

22. Shiemi makes some of her own hair accessories! Cute

23. Katoh doesn't mind if you include stuff with fan letters but check with the editor first

24. Time for making each chapter: Planning/storyboarding: 1-5 days. Sketching: 3-5 days. Drawing/inking: the rest. Just...the rest of the time

25. Neither Suguro nor Izumo have dated before and neither is currently dating. But that's probably just because things were hectic for them! It could happen

26. Yukio breaks 5 or 6 pairs of glasses a year, someone get this kid a strap or something

27. How many spare glasses does Yukio have? Check the fanbook lol it's in there (dang it Katoh)

28. The demon she wants us to pay the most attention to is Lucifer. Because plot.

29. What's under the Order's big meeting table? It's a BOTTOMLESS PIT and if you fall in it you DIE that's what makes it COOL (laughs)

30. What are the job requirements for the angelic legion? Literally just Arthur liking you and inviting you to join

31. She WANTS to do more character profiles but just hasn't gotten to it

32. Rin's tail feels like a cat tail, texture wise

33. The "red Assiah fire" is literally just actual fire nothing special

34. Rin's current hair color is light blue fading to white at the ends

35. Thoughts on Rin's growth: she likes that he stays positive in awful situations and she also thinks it's very main character of him to face the past instead of avoiding it

36. Mephisto didn't purposely surround Rin with stuffed animals when he woke up after going crispy. Mephisto's bed is just Like That

37. Kurikara was based on a cool sword she found in a sword book, but that one was technically just a ceremonial sword. The symbol on it us a Sanskrit letter kaan (sp?) associated with Fudou Myouou

38. Kuro can communicate with normal cats and hangs out with them often

39. Sometimes Shiemi's skirt is extra fancy around the hem what's up with that? Apparently it's an optional accessory that comes with the skirts help I haven't noticed this and don't know any fashion terms in any language

40. When coloring, Katoh always tries to have an overall theme in mind ("emphasis on blue" etc) so it comes together in the end

41. Yes the twins are genetically related to Shiro because of Goro (she says they're like his nephews but I say GENETICALLY at least they'd be indistinguishable from his children)

42. Strongest mom of all the strong moms around here? Yuri! Did you SEE her give birth??

43. Are you careful about your own health Katoh-sensei? Not particularly! Her mom has had to bring her food at work sometimes! Don't do this at home kids

44. At the dating events Shura goes to, does she drink cocktails in moderation? Yeah, she probably downplays her normal drinking habits at these things. But normally she's down for just about any kind of drink

45. Lucifer just really likes oysters okay

46. How many pages of manga does Katoh draw in a day? If she's being good about self-care: three. Maximum number ever: TEN

47. Mephisto is one of those folks who can eat like a garbage compactor and never gain weight. Possibly because his body resists that sort of change the same way it resists aging etc

48. First food Rin cooked: fish burger type patty. Yukio's favorite things Rin cooks: fish simmered in soy sauce, yellowtail with daikon radish. It's fish all the way down

49: Did Rin ever get more monthly allowance from Mephisto? It doubled! He gets TWO 2000 yen bills now (rip) [T/N: That's uh, that's USD $37.26 a month or 33.10 euro]

50. Why isn't Rin more popular with the girls? He gets nervous talking to them, plus he's too oblivious to notice even if he DID have some fans

51. Why change Suguro's hair? She gets bored with keeping everything the same, and she wanted a visual representation that he was getting serious and going into kind of a training arc

52. Things Katoh pays extra attention to when drawing: trying to capture the feel of whatever she's drawing (like "that looks warm and soft" or "I bet that guy stinks" cough Lightning cough)

53: Does Rin take after Yuri more? (He's got her eyes!) Katoh tried to draw Yuri so she looks like both twins. Personality, too - Yukio has her smarts and Rin has her optimism

54: Do you ever wanna be like Mephisto? Well she'd like to be able to get away with just ANYTHING EVER, but no, let's not be like Mephisto

55. Konekomaru not only carries around a cat toy in case he meets any cats, he MAKES cat toys to carry around based on what he thinks the cats would like

56. How'd you come up with Shima? Go read the fan book!

57. Do the kids have Twitter/Instagram accounts? Rin - probably not. Konekomaru might be on some social media. Paku and Izumo are totally on instagram

58. Is there something Rin makes that you wish you could try? All of it! That's the whole idea! He's good at cooking!

59. Will we ever have a (G-rated) reveal of what ALL of Mamushi and her family's tattoos look like? Maybe! She'll think about it

60. Does Arthur have a repertoire of different hairstyles? Not really, he just puts some of it up on the top. Heck he might even have people to do that for him

61. If you wrote a shojo manga what would it be about? She'd have to do a lot of research before even coming up with a story, since there are so many style differences between the genres aside from just the subject

62. The other two of Mephisto's top 3 favorite foods: Cup ramen and....f-fried bubblegum?? Is that a THING???

63. Where do you start when drawing a character? Usually the outline of their face but if it's a complex pose/composition she'll start with whatever's in the foreground (like hands)

64. If Katoh could have a familiar, what demon would she choose? Mephisto. As the all-powerful author, she might actually be able to command him as a familiar!

66. If you swapped Yukio and Rin's relationship around what would change? not much, you'd pretty much have Rin going to the Illuminati and Yukio going to the past

67. Top 3 foods/souvenirs to try in Kyushu? Well she doesn't know what’s good CURRENTLY but when she was there she always used to like burdock tempura udon, hakata torimon (a kind of manju with white bean paste inside), and Chikae style cod roe. today I learned Katoh went to high school in Kyushu

68. Katoh listens to music a lot while she's storyboarding, then when she and the assistants are all drawing and inking they put various videos/movies and stuff on in the background

69. For all his hitting on girls, is Shima actually popular with the ladies at all? He's got enough girls in his life that he probably COULD find a girlfriend if he really wanted, but the double agent thing tends to get in the way. He still wouldn't be as popular as Yukio though (side thought/translator’s note: Shima would be proud of being number 69.)

70. Katoh has the ending planned out in a big-picture way, but there are still a few details here and there that she's fretting over

71. It's cute when the boys put their ties over their shoulders when they're working on something! Where'd that come from? She just figured a tie might get in the way and that seemed like a realistic way to get it out of the way

72. Looks like Yukio is getting some facial hair! What about Rin? They're both about the age for it, but maybe Rin can't grow a beard yet. Maybe a little peach fuzz here and there

73. Katoh's favorite blue exorcist merch? There were some exorcist licenses a while back, and the exorcist pins. Basically it's really cool that these little accessories she drew ACTUALLY EXIST NOW, LIKE YOU CAN HOLD THEM IN YOUR HANDS

74. Okay realtalk how long do we have left, I don't want the series to end yet? We're solidly in the second half by now but it's not, like, ABOUT to end yet

75. Katoh would be a Knight meister, based on what characters she likes to play in games and such

76. How many people in the whole exorcism cram school? More than you think! She doesn't give a number but apparently licensed exorcists also attend classes for new meisters, etc, so there's a wide age range attending

77. How's Arthur feel about, like, studying Taming on the way to becoming Paladin? He's at least mostly accepted that you have to use demons to fight demons effectively

78. Konekomaru started wearing glasses in his first year of middle school, so like 7th grade (more recent than I thought!) He has one spare pair, in contrast to Yukio lol

79. Katoh's current obsessions? Ghost/scary stories! She's even been going to live readings of them recently

80. Media Katoh consumes for inspiration? A wide range of foreign teen drama, horror/suspense, shojo manga, light novels, anime, etc. Special focus on things where two boys are in conflict or there are brothers involved

81. If they weren't exorcists what jobs would they have? Rin - chef. Yukio - doctor. Shiemi - uh, florist?

82. Inspiration for the design of True Cross Town? Katoh and her assistants gathered up a bunch of references, picked out stuff they felt matched the tone, and mashed them all up together

83. Did you use any references etc for the school/exorcist uniforms? She says she probably should have but she just kind of made them up before publication

84. Favorite part of drawing? For color pages, picking out a color scheme. For black and white, drawing in all the little details (though she doesn't always get time to lately)

85. Once again confirms the demon kings' weird hair is a representation of their horns. ADDS THAT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SEE DEMONS CAN'T SEE THE WEIRD HAIR

86. Now that Yukio's at the Illuminati, where's he gonna get his Jump SQ and spare glasses? Well he probably never planned to stay for long, but hey it's a big ship and they might have an optometrist and/or newsstand there

87. Do you base the demon characters on any references etc? Not really, she just gets a general idea of popular demon designs and then makes up her own in her own style

88. Merchandise Katoh personally wants to have made: stuff that an adult could just use in their day to day life. Also, it's not gonna happen, but if her favorite figure brand made AoEx figures she could die happy

89. If Beelzebub's host body was a beautiful woman, how would Shima react? Would the womanizing win out over the bug phobia? Katoh replies that Shima would probably just faint from being near a girl that pretty, before the bugs even got involved

90. Will the twins ever get to smile and eat dinner together again?? We'll just have to wait and see!

91. What do you check at a "scenario check"? what's a scenario check man I dunno They check for people being out of character or the setting feeling off. They had a lot of these checks for the anime, but they also do them for the drama CD, games, and all that other stuff where multiple authors are involved

92. Why does Shura use baldy as an insult for people who are clearly not bald? She feels like they have some kind of metaphorical, mental kind of "baldness" and she's calling them out on it. Whatever that means

93. After Blue Exorcist ends, what do you want to draw next? She has SO MANY IDEAS, SO MANY

94. Did Katoh make up the Shinto chants that, for example, Izumo used against Gedouin? They're assembled from bits of actual Shinto prayers according to what feels right in the scene

95. Yukio reads the Jump SQ, right, and, just hear me out here, he likes gag manga, right? Does this mean he reads Salaryman Yukio? It's something he would read, but let's say that in the AoEx universe there's just a very similar manga that he finds oddly relatable

96. What do Yukio and Shima do in their free time on the Dominus Liminus? oh my god you guys this ship has so many amenities.  Yukio probably spends time reading in the library, which they totally have. There's also, like, a gym, and a movie theater, and a THEATER theater, all of which are free. Shima probably hangs out at the pool (!) and goes to the movies, and hits on illuminati girls, lol

97. Easiest character to draw? The ones with boring simple hair, lol. Lightning gets an honorable mention for ALSO not having eyes in most shots, but Rin wins--he was specifically designed to be easy for Katoh to draw because that's what you want in your main character

98. How do demons understand gender? They just possess whatever feels like the best match to how they feel in Gehenna, whether that's a man, or a woman, or a rat, or whatever

99. Where do you start when you're coming up with a story? She starts with character design and how the characters relate to each other. Currently she's just continuing an existing story, so she works on splitting up the overall plot into episodes and fleshing it out with scenes and information about characters

100. When do you feel most happy? She honestly feels like she lives a very happy life overall. Mentions noticing a lot of little things, like how nice her cats' heads smell when she cuddles them or taking a nice cold refreshing drink of water. There's happiness in everything. aww.

[cuppajj]

If you're still doing the tf asks: 🤍💬 :)

💬 First because I got multiple asks about this and I think it’s really interesting! I actually can’t land a favorite, but there are some that I really like including:

Milne pictured Tarn’s voice as Keith David and one of the writers (Jro?) said he could play every instrument. That means he can probably professionally play the otomatone, the xylophone, and the minecraft note block.

Some of the G1 Japanese designs, like Deathsaurus, were reused for the Brave series! The pic below is Red Geist from Brave of Legend Da Gam. TF also does a lot of Brave references too, being that both franchises are by Takara.

On the topic of Deathsaurus, he actually has a soft spot for kids. He'll wreak havoc on the earth but he actually feels pain whenever he hurts a child. In the manga, he killed this one kid's parents and severely injured him, but in his terror he had him partially rebuilt into a cyborg and straight up adopted him. In another manga-related instance, he had the main human character Jan as well as some of the boys from Masterforce kidnapped so he could try bribing them with candy and video games to join him and be part of his army (but really he probably just wanted more kids) god I wish that were me

Optimus Prime apparently shares a voice with the Predator.

This isn’t an obscure fact, but more like obscure media:  But Bee in the City is such a hilarious script reading. I HIGHLY recommend you listen to it! Out of context, it’s about TFA Bumblebee meeting Beast Wars Megatron at a drive thru.

🤍 There’s something about Censere that is just... SO cool. I wish more people talked about him. The space cape and the floral melds two of my aesthetics together, and topping it off with the whole “legendary god of death” thing is just CHEF’S KISS. I love how they spun the god of death thing. You’d think the death guy would stereotypically be the evil one who does the betraying, like what the legends said, but nope! They subverted the trope and made one of the seemingly good guys do the betraying! Also, he’s such a kind-hearted and chill person. You can tell how much he vibes.

I also really like all the human Decepticons from Masterforce, especially Giga, Mega, and Cancer. Masterforce is a really unique and oddball show that you probably won’t enjoy if you don’t like TF media with humans in it (or a big emphasis on humans), but for what it is, it’s really fun! I also like the idea of the Decepticons having a cultish influence on humanity to the point where some would even join them. The three I mentioned are all basically a family, with scenes dedicated to them doing things a family would do. It’s a really sweet and cool dynamic that was some of my favorite parts of Masterforce!

If you’re willing to get past some of the really dumb concepts (like there’s a whole human supremacy thing, but to be fair this was 1988 before all the cool Cybertronian lore stuff) and the predominantly human cast (and the fact that the main four autobots kinda get sidelined to not-optimus prime), I recommend Masterforce. It’s goofy, it’s nonsensical, but it’s a fun romp!

[sagamemes]

goodnight moon   —   valley girl, part one.   every single line out of this character’s mouth is golden. here and below the cut, you can find 83 lines of dialogue from the first three videos of the series—i can not emphasis how much the content of these lines vary despite the title. edited for roleplay purposes, feel free to change around whatever you feel the need to to make it fit your muse better.  tw:  implications and imagery of violence, clown mentions, some gore and unsanitary mentions, abuse mentions / implications.

❝  don't be embarrassed!  i love girls who love to have fun.  ❞

❝  nothing spookier than rotting flesh, am i right?  ❞

❝  this dress goes about to right before the knee, is that cool?  ❞

❝  feel free to get up to any more shenanigans you want at the party tonight. fireworks, bees, wherever the night takes you.  ❞

❝  your face is so pale.  ❞

❝  blood all over you scales, bones shards in your teeth—that's tacky. pearls?  high class.  ❞

❝  got any fireworks?  ❞

❝  i would never get between a girl and her snacks.  ❞

❝  maybe i've seen you on instagram or something.  ❞

❝  it's honestly a little spicy when you never know if and when that someone special is gonna steal from you. always a fun little surprise. like, ooh, what's it gonna be this time?  ❞

❝  i have missed seeing your pretty little face here.  ❞

❝  and you have how many teeth left?  like four?  ❞

❝  you seem—really cool. i'm loving your energy.  ❞

❝  i do get pretty passionate when it comes to [food].  ❞

❝  there's something... seductive about scurvy, you know?  ❞

❝  oh, who's he?  ❞

❝  i need to reconsider my look.  ❞

❝  i know it sounds like an impossible challenge to make pennywise any sexier than he already is, but i can try.  ❞

❝  [that girl has/you've] done far too much for me, for me to refuse [her/you] a single thing.  ❞

❝  it'll be so cute, i promise.  ❞

❝  they are definitely clones. sexy clones, but still clones, you know.  ❞

❝  i thought tonight would be a good time to step a little out of your comfort zone.  ❞

❝  pirates are so hot right now. well, they've been hot since, like, the 1700s but they have continued to be hot from /then/ to /now/.  ❞

❝  i know what i'm talking about:  as you can see, i look super hot, right?  ❞

❝  i can help you with that. you know, i just like to see a girl look her best.  ❞

❝  so is it alright if i come up close and personal, touch your face?  ❞

❝  oh, there's a chocolate fountain?  ❞

❝  not to like, pressure you or anything, but you have to go with this one.  ❞

❝  works every time. well, three out of ten times, which is like, almost most of the time.  ❞

❝  it's gonna be cold tonight.  ❞

❝  that's good, it's good to be thorough and like, get a little taste of everything.  ❞

❝  where's the burrito from?  ❞

❝  you're not into the whole  ' titties out '  kind of look for you?  ❞

❝  if you would just—part your lips ever so slightly and like, pout them a little bit?  like they got your order wrong at starbucks?  ❞

❝  wherever the night takes you, it's cool with me.  ❞

❝  my ex stole from me all the time.  ❞

❝  i mean i won't be able to open the jar either, but i'll totally be here for like, emotional support.  ❞

❝  these are not very comfortable, but... very cute. the sacrifice is worth it i think.  ❞

❝  my job is just to make you as happy and comfortable as possible.  ❞

❝  you look /so/ terrifying. and also super cute.  ❞

❝  those, you know, needlepoint heels make me wanna die.  ❞

❝  i think you're gonna represent my brand perfectly.  ❞

❝  i selected for you a myriad—... is that a word? ...yeah, totally, a /myriad/ of things for you to try.  ❞

❝  that's gonna make me look like such a baddie standing next to you.  ❞

❝  you can't be glowing more than me, darling.  ❞

❝  this sweater's got a vibe like,  ' i'm so grungy that i totally live in a trash can '  but also  ' i'm so soft and fuzzy, oh my god, hold me. '  ❞

❝  i like to call this chunky boy my dragon puke necklace.  ❞

❝  can you and me be brow twinsies and both do the bitch brow every day?  ❞

❝  do you have any tattoos?  i thought so.  ❞

❝  you look like you've been dead for three days. gorgeous.  ❞

❝  sometimes i see her at pilates and i'm like,  ' wow, that scrumptious smoothie came at the small price of my heart. but glad you're enjoying the strawberry-banana swirl, britney. '  ❞

❝  do you have any shenanigans planned?  ❞

❝  murders and assassinations i would be all down for, are you kidding?  ❞

❝  you, my dear, are all set.  ❞

❝  no explosives?  oh my god, why are you even going.  ❞

❝  wait, dragons don't eat their treasures, do they?  they just sit on it and sleep.  ❞

❝  have we met before?  you look so familiar it's tripping me out a little bit.  ❞

❝  we're gonna go with the flow.  ❞

❝  you oftentimes tend to prefer the sort of dainty, subdued style, but what if tonight we went a little more avant-garde?  ❞

❝  you can fiddle with it, as a form of absent-minded entertainment, if some business-major won't stop rambling at you about mergers and acquisitions.  ❞

❝  you seemed like, a little bit weirded out last time.  ❞

❝  i've been living and dying for this eyeshadow palette lately.  ❞

❝  let me take a moment, or two, or three... to—reacquaint myself with your lovely appearance.  ❞

❝  or do you need assistance?  because if there's anything i'm good at, it's /assistance/.  ❞

❝  you're my last appointment of the day, i'm happy to take as much time as you need.  ❞

❝  i'll give you a little tip:  when you're having a chat with someone cute, you can just, casually brush a glittery clutch against them and when they get home, the glitter transfers all over their stuff—on their sheets, their clothes, their face, their dog—they'll notice it constantly, and due to the subconscious association with you and the glitter... they won't be able to stop thinking about you. they'll think that you're soulmates when really, you just gave them glitter herpes.  ❞

❝  totally thought i was over that, sorry.  ❞

❝  i think the red would suit you /perfectly./  ❞

❝  [this/i] will keep you nice and warm and like, ward off any dudes you don't wanna deal with.  ❞

❝  i hope your blender sucks and you choke on a chunk of unpulverised peanut butter.  ❞

❝  live for it, obsessed, would wear _____ like that every day if it weren't for the fact that it would make men pee their pants everywhere i go.  ❞

❝  i know i can be a lot.  ❞

❝  doesn't she have like seven cats?  and they're all named after types of metamorphic rock. she's the best.  ❞

❝  if you wanna go for that  ' ugly christmas sweater '  vibe, like  ' i'm so hot that i can wear whatever i want and you all can suck it ', these are perfect.  ❞

❝  it would make men pee their pants everywhere i go. ...now that i think about it, that's actually a perk.  ❞

❝  i would love to hear all about the party you're going to, tell me all about it.  ❞

❝  it was always kinda sexy, mysterious.  ❞

❝  would never do that to you, ever, no way, wouldn't dream of it.  ❞

❝  [you are/it is] a clean slate, ready for clownery.  ❞

❝  i saw you launch a firework through his kitchen ceiling.  ❞

❝  it's a little cliché but clichés are cliché for a reason.  ❞

❝  let's cuddle on the dumpster.  ❞

❝  you mean to tell me you haven't even /seen/ a vegetable since, last summer?  ❞

[cycat4077]

Reunited

Summary: You reconnect with an old college friend only to find that your past comes back to haunt you. Set during summer 2016 (S17). Pairing: Sonny x Reader Warnings: Mild cussing, some angst, some feelings and dialogue (sorry) Words: 3247 AO3 here

Part 8 of the Changes verse. Masterlist here if you're interested :) (Could probably read as a stand alone fic if you’re not into series.)

A/N: I really wanted to give my main character a friend and ‘Sydney’ popped into my brain. Also, do y'all remember back in 2015 when Sonny said he had an ex at the LAPD? Yeah, me too. So I took the liberty of using it :P Sorry this fic is kind of meh (On a separate note, the pic doesn’t necessarily mean the reader is blonde. I just thought a Sonny hug would be fitting!)

"Sydney?" you question, walking slowly up to the blonde who stands collecting her order at the campus coffee shop.

Immediately she spins on her heels and her face lights up with recognition. "Oh my goodness!" she exclaims, raising her arms to embrace you.

You and Sydney had graduated together from the master’s of education program; she, with a background in English lit and you, in biology. Despite being from different disciplines, you often worked on projects together and used your contrasting perspectives to bounce ideas between brains. As a result, Sydney became a close friend. But, as too often happens when people part ways, life whizzed by quicker than the two of you could stay in touch.

Now however, as you set foot on your new campus for a summer orientation workshop, you are thrilled to see a friendly and familiar face.

"What are you doin’ here, girl?!" she asks with the same enthusiastic energy you remember her for.

"New job!" you reply cheerfully.

"Ahh! That's awesome!" she squeals. "It'll be like old times! I've been in the English department for a few years now and I just love it."

You smile fondly. "I always knew you'd move back here.”

"Yup! You can take the girl outta the city…and all that stuff,” Sydney sweeps her silky locks behind her ear, “but I am surprised to see ‘little miss rural’ out this way!"

You raise your hands and shrug. "Me too! Though, opportunity knocked and I couldn't turn it down. Actually, this is my second teaching gig in Manhattan. I won't name names, but I got booted from my last one when a prof crawled out of retirement." You frown towards the ground, the wound still fresh.

"Bastards," Sydney mumbles under her breath. "That musta been rough, but I'm glad you're on the rebound." She offers you a hopeful smile. "You liking NYC then, since you ended up sticking around?" "It's alright. Different,” you admit. “I just moved in with my boyfriend though and he's slowly but surely converting me."

Sydney lets out another delighted squeal. During your college days she was always trying to get you to date. You told her about your past and she swore to avenge you. Unfortunately, her best efforts involved dragging you to parties and other social events where ultimately you ended up preventing her from making the bad decisions. Still, she cared about you and her genuine excitement over your relationship success makes you realize just how much you had missed her.

"I'm so happy for you! Is he cute? Is he smart? Does he work on campus?" She stretches her neck to look behind you as if Sonny is tucked away nearby.

You chuckle. "Nuh-no. He's an SVU detective. That's how we met actually." Her face falls with worry and you quickly elaborate. "I took a summer job there last year and we just clicked. He's really great." You smile proudly, stopping yourself from bragging Sonny too much.

"Aw, hon, I'm so excited for you!"

"Thanks! Hey, are you still with Geoff?"

"Hell no!" she fires quickly. "Caught that ess-oh-bee sneaking around behind my back so I kicked his ass to the curb. But it’s fine. I'm enjoying the single life and New York has just what I need!"

You smile. Same old Sydney. "Well, I'm glad you're all right and I'm thrilled we're here together! We have a lot of catching up to do! In fact, you should come by our place sometime."

"Absolutely! I'd love that!” she grins enthusiastically. “And that means I'd get to meet the man who swooped my shy science-nerdette off her feet!"

A blush creeps over your cheeks. "Did I mention he's an amazing cook?"

Sydney covers her heart like she's been shot. "You did now! So, I'll be holding you to a meal, you here me?" She glares playfully at you as she backs up towards the door.

You laugh and wave her goodbye. Sydney turns into her smiling self as she spins around and leaves.

-x-

"Wheh!" huffs the blonde standing in the doorway to your apartment. She’s just gotten her first glance at Dominick "Sonny" Carisi, Jr. "Ya didn't tell me he was such a looker!”

You swat her arm playfully. "Down girl."

"Hey there," smiles Sonny as he lumbers towards the front door. He's dressed himself in a pressed shirt and slacks for the occasion and he looks absolutely gorgeous. "I'm Sonny, nice ta meet ya," he continues, extending a hand in greeting.

"Ooh, Staten Island," she remarks, accepting his gesture. "Nice to meet ya too. I'm Sydney."

Sonny chuckles and points out her accuracy with a raised finger. "That Brooklyn I hear?" he counters.

"Sure is!" Sydney releases a laugh that’s as smooth and as charming as she is.

"Come on in," Sonny gestures towards your cozy little apartment. She steps forward, making herself at home just as she would always do when the two of you would visit somewhere new.

The evening transpires with a lovely dinner followed by story swapping, playing catch-up and allowing Sonny and Sydney to get acquainted. As the evening wears on however, an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach.

Of course, it's wonderful to have Sydney back in your life – she’s one of the few people with whom you had allowed yourself to really open up. But as you listen to her and Sonny talk about growing up in the Boroughs, it's hard not to feel just a little out of place. There's so much you don't understand. So much that you don’t share in common with them. The best you can do is smile and nod along as the conversation flows.

Sydney is an extrovert through and through. She converses with others easily and can win them over with her natural charisma. Sonny too has the gift of the gab, and the pair seem to be hitting it off really well.

By now you’ve lost track of what they’re saying, instead listening to your inner voice. It's selfish and petty to be feeling this way, but there's a small part of you that is sad...jealous, you suppose. Maybe Sonny would prefer to have someone who knows what it’s like to grow up in the city surrounded by a bunch of siblings. Someone who is talkative and charming instead of quiet and shy. Not only that, but Sydney is gorgeous, with her luscious blonde hair and winsome smile. She always draws the eye of every person in a room. You don’t resent her for it by any means, it's just that you’ve never been in a relationship when she was around and so you’ve never had to worry about a significant other falling for her.

Were you that insecure about yourself that you could feel this way? That you had to worry your boyfriend, your Sonny, would be swept off his feet? It wasn't fair to either of them. Sydney has always been kind to you and you hate feeling any jealousy towards her. But worst of all, it’s not fair to Sonny. You know he loves you. He doesn't care that you’re not a supermodel and he is genuine when he tells you that you're beautiful. He loves you for who you are…No other guy has ever done that before. And that's why you're so torn up right now. You shouldn't be feeling jealous or worried, yet you are and it makes your stomach churn!

"Doll?" a soft voice startles you from your thoughts.

"Hmm?" you respond, trying to act casual.

Sydney jumps in. "We’re comparing notes on the best hidden gem restaurants around the city and Sonny says you love a little Italian spot in Tribeca.”

"Oh yeah,” you mutter. “Great alfredo."

Sonny’s brow knits, clearly sensing something is off. His blue eyes narrow and lips purse. "It's a bit pricey," he states, putting an arm around you. The action knocks you off balance as he draws you to him. "But I like ta spoil my girl from time ta time." Sonny unleashes one of his signature smiles, squeezing you ever so slightly in hopes of easing whatever seems to be on your mind.

"Aww, you two!" coos Sydney affectionately.

-x-

It's late evening by the time Sydney is thanking you for dinner and heading home. You and Sonny work in silence tidying up after your guest. And in that silence, your mind once again resorts to fabricating nagging thoughts of Sydney and Sonny. Moments are replayed with emphasis on how naturally they seemed to get along. But it’s that same silence which causes Sonny to speak up.

"What's wrong, doll?" he asks, pausing to lean up against the counter.

"Huh?" you reply with confusion.

"Somethin's up. I can tell. You were kinda distant earlier too." It’s not a question; he knows you too well.

"Nothing," you lie, trying to refocus on wiping down the table. How can you admit any of this to him?

"Tell me. Please," he begs, bending his head down to try and meet your gaze.

"I don't know,” you wring the dishtowel in your hands, “it's just…I kind of felt out of the loop sometimes tonight."

"Whaddya mean?" his eyebrows shoot up with concern.

"Well, you and Sydney hit it off so well..." Your voice trails off for a moment before you finally meet Sonny’s blue eyes. "Sydney's beautiful and charming and easy to get along with.”

“And you're not?”

The bluntness of his question hits you like a ton of bricks. “But…but she's from here,” you argue, tears starting to prickle at your eyes. “That's one thing I'll never have in common with you!”

Sonny stares at you in utter disbelief. “Doll,” his voice drops down to a soft note, “that means nothin’. I love that you're from outta town. You're more naive to the city ‘n I can see that there's still things about New York that excites ya. The lights on Broadway or the view of Lady Liberty in the harbor. Your pretty eyes absolutely light up! It’s so easy to get lost in the hustle ‘n bustle, but you remind me to stop ‘n appreciate all the little things too.”

Sonny’s now standing directly in front of you. He grabs your hands in his. “And don't even get me started about havin’ things in common.” A cheerful smile forms on his lips and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “You ‘n I share odd tastes in movies ‘n we're both suckas for nostalgia when it comes ta music. But that's just the tip of the iceberg! The most important thing we share is our values. Family is priority numba one, ‘n you have no idea how long I've waited to meet someone who believes that too. It…it hurts me knowin' that you would ever doubt my love for ya.”

Those words cause you to fall apart and the tears you’ve been holding back trickle down your cheek. You cram your eyes shut, heart aching over the thought of making Sonny feel any pain. At the same time however, he also deserves to know why you still have your doubts.

You open your eyes to a warm hand caressing your cheek. It’s a gentle nudge to have you look at him. You find Sonny searching your features, so you interlace your fingers with his and gently tug him towards the sofa.

Sitting down beside you, Sonny gathers your legs to place atop of his. The closeness makes you feel safe as you mentally prepare yourself to tell all. You take a deep breath and glance up to a loving, encouraging smile pasted across on your boyfriend's features. “Sometimes I get worried that I’ll scare you off,” you tell him.

Immediately he interjects, rubbing your knee soothingly. “That’s nonsense, doll.”

“I know,” you say half-heartedly, “but it’s more to do with my own self-doubt.” Sonny’s expression saddens and he reaches out for your hand. You take it, linking your pinky with his. “Back when I was a biology student, there was this guy taking the same classes as me. He was a year or two older and we got along really well. We shared a lot of common interests. You know, movies and sports and all that stuff. It led us to spend a lot of time together during our free periods. He started doing these little things that seemed so affectionate. For instance, trying to sit tight beside me or asking to hold my hand. He paid me all kinds of compliments and even told me I was beautiful. Needless to say, I fell for him hard.” You pause, fiddling with Sonny’s finger. You had forgotten how much this all hurt to talk about.

Rubbing a hand across your forehead you continue. “One day, I worked up the courage to ask him out. But that’s when things spiraled downhill. He got really defensive and flat out said that he didn’t feel anything for me. That all the little things which I thought meant flirting were actually meaningless and, that I was crazy for thinking otherwise. To add insult to injury, he also said I was too young for him.” Sonny’s shoulders drop and he squeezes your hand a little tighter. “All I could manage was a lame ‘okay’ and left. I cried for weeks and it really threw me through a loop. I’ve been insecure about my feelings ever since. I felt humiliated and embarrassed for being fooled by his charms and for allowing myself to love him. So, I just buckled down and focused on my education, never really trusting myself to openly fall in love again. I was scared of making the same mistake – that is, until I met you.”

With your soul bared, Sonny swiftly pulls you into a hug. He holds you tight, warmth surrounding you as if he hoped it would melt away your pain. You press your face into the crook of his neck, giving him a soft kiss.

Sonny leans back, trailing his hands down your arms. “None of that was your fault, sweetheart,” he reassures. “That guy was a prick who needed ta lead ya on ta make himself feel important. Guys like that enjoy havin’ a girl’s affection, but the moment ya had the balls to tell him how ya felt he was too insecure ‘n pushed ya away. But y’know what?” he pats your arms lightly. “That’s his loss because ya have the biggest heart of any person I’ve ever met. N’ I’m lucky to be the one who gets ta be on the receiving end.”

His compliment makes you smile sheepishly. “Thank you, Sonny.” You truly love this man with all your heart. “I’ve tried not to let it affect me – affect us – but it’s one of those things that festers in the back of your mind.”

“I know,” he agrees. “It’s normal.” You watch as he looks away for a moment and swallows thickly. “I neva told ya this before, but I went through somethin’ like that myself…”

With Sonny being a chatterbox and sometimes oversharing information, it comes as a surprise that he too is guarding a part of himself. You flash him a reassuring smile, once again linking your fingers as a silent offer of your support.

And so, he begins. “I spent a year in California when I got out of the academy. There was this rotation at the LAPD ‘n I was young ‘n thought it would be really cool to get outta New York. Turns out I immediately fell head over heels for one of their young detectives. One bat of her eyelashes ‘n I was a goner. We ended up askin’ each other out ‘n life seemed great. Fancy dinners ‘n presents I couldn’t really afford. But at the time, it all seemed worth it because we were happy.” Sonny turns shy as he speaks and you feel a twinge in your gut. It had never occurred to you that he had been in love before you came along.

He looks up to the ceiling as if he dreaded the next lines of his story. “Then my contract was up. I thought we were a strong enough couple to stick together, so I asked her to be move back to New York with me. I said that we could be closer to my family ‘n that they were dyin’ to meet ‘er. But…we didn’t see eye to eye on that.” Sonny releases a sigh. “Yeah, she told me that she moved to LA to get away from family n’ that she loved it too much out there to up and leave. I was dumb ‘n in love ‘n I just didn’t get it. I offered to stay with her instead but she gave me the ol' speech: Yourra nice guy, Sonny, but we have different paces to life. It would never work out.”

You whisper his name, heart shattering on his behalf. He looks to you with a furrowed brow and continues. “I gave her my whole heart ‘n she wasn’t even willin’ to make an effort to keep us togetha. I don’t like to admit it very often, but I was a mess. I flew back to New York ‘n not long after joined law school. Then I ended up bouncin’ around the Boroughs until I met you.” Sonny’s face warms. His eyes sparkle and he unleashes a smile. “Now the whole world seems right! We can be ourselves around each other. I know I have my flaws, but you’d never judge me for ‘em. Instead, ya love ‘em too ‘n I hope ya know that it’s a two-way street from me.”

Now it’s your turn to smile. You remove your legs from him to cuddle under his arm. Sonny wraps around you and kisses the top of your head. “I love you, Sonny,” you mouth into his chest.

“Love ya too, sweetheart.”

You lean back to caress his cheek with your palm. “I think we have another thing in common,” you offer and Sonny peers at you inquisitively. “We fall in love easily.”

Sonny chuckles. “Yeah, it’s like you’re divin’ into tha deep end head first, but ya only find out it’s too shallow once you’re already leapin’.”

You nod your head in agreement. “It’s funny how that stuff always lingers with you. Like a scar that keeps scabbing over. When you jump off the swings as a kid and scrape your knee, you’ll see that scar afterwards and your brain reminds you to never do that again! It’s a shame that the same thing happens when your heart gets hurt. I always felt like I was scared to put myself out there over the fear of being heartbroken again.”

Sonny hums understandingly. “But,” he says, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “when the right person comes along, all that hurt disappears. Because this time,” he smiles affectionately, “when you jump off the swing, there’ll be someone there to catch you.”

Your serious faces contort into goofy smiles. “See? What did I tell ya, doll? We’re so alike that we even share a knack for makin’ up dumb analogies.” Sonny’s eyes once again crinkle at the corners and he shifts to kiss your temple.

Leaning into his touch, you close your eyes and savor the moment. It feels good to clear the air like this and to be able to forge a connection that’s just that much deeper.

---

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you’re interested in being part of a tag-list. Any and all feedback is loved :)

Part 9, “Stuck-On Cheese” is up here

[moonlightreal]

Fate looks toward season 2

Where you reach the bad ending, where do you go from there?

In season 1 we got the bad ending.  The school had been taken over by Rosalind, Queen Luna, and Andreas, who are all extremely sus people!

Queen Luna believes in being in control, and you only get control by having power.  This is most obvious in the way she tries to crush her daughter’s spirit, thinking she can force Stella to be perfect. She’s also a believer in the Sith philosophy of using hate and anger to fuel magic.  Oh, and she covered up what happened at Aster Dell, which is super sketch.  We’re not totally sure what did happen, but if it was “heroes destroy town of blood witches and Burned ones!’ she probably wouldn’t have needed to cover it up.

Andreas is… he’s an odd one! Is anybody else getting crazy-eyes vibes from him?  His eyes are not actually crazy but there’s somethin’ off about the dude.  Badass Marco mentioned him as having “bloodlust” and said it was maybe good that Sky didn’t take after his dad. Andreas respects Rosalind to the point of drawing sword on his friend to follow Rosalind’s orders.  We hear from Silva that Rosalind had given Andreas a sense of purpose and he felt indebted to her.  For what, I wonder.  

He also seems to have hidden out of the public view for sixteen years on Rosalind’s command!  I wonder where he was hiding!  Was it just him and Beatrix in a cottage somewhere?  Also, why did Andreas neglect his son but agree to raise Beatrix?  Maybe he thought she was the chosen one, that’d be a good enough reason but B honestly seems to care for her foster father.

Also, and this is something I don’t think the show meant to imply… sometimes kids who are abused grow up to be overly sexual, since they learn the wrong kind of love from adults when they’re young.  That suggests a whole ‘nother level of grimdark and I do not think the writers meant to go there.  I think they just went “raised by Andreas” and “evil = slutty stereotype” and never put the two thoughts together to see the icky implications.  I sure as blazes hope not!  There’s dark and then there’s just ew.

And then there’s Rosalind.  What do we even know about her?  She was headmistress before Dowling, and mentor-slash-commanding-officer to the adults.  And she knows more about magic than the teachers at the school.  A lot more.  She knows about the nature of the Burned Ones and the Dragon Flame, and she taught Bloom how to transform in like an hour when no fairy has done that in ages!  Maybe it’s easier for Bloom, but still, Rosalind has loads and loads of lost knowledge. Where did she learn all this?

At any rate Rosalind is responsible for nuking Aster Dell, though how and why that went down is unclear.  She nuked a place.  And she manipulated her friends into helping without giving them the full story either.  They were so upset they locked her up in stasis for sixteen years until Bloom let her out.  Dowling calls Rosalind a manipulator several times, and from what we see in the show that’s spot on.  

Rosalind is also happy to murderize Dowling to take over the school so they can turn everyone to Sith philosophy.

With these three at the helm Alfea will become a scary place.  The baddie adults will be teaching magic fueled by anger and hate.  Also, we’ve just had the first fairy transformation in ages.  Will the rest of the students be pressured to transform also?

I worry the most about Stella in this situation, her heart’s already fragile after being battered by her mother for years.  Stella could just collapse, especially is her mom stays around at the school.  Or she could go full Stockholm and embrace the Sith ways.  After all, she just tried letting friendship in and THIS happened.

And I worry about Terra, the bravest of the girls and least likely to sit down and shut up for the sake of survival.  How much trouble will she get into surrounded by adults acting in bad faith?

Bloom will be Rosalind’s special student, probably under her mentor’s eye the whole time.  Wonder how long it’ll take Bloom to have the awful realization that Rosalind is not her friend.

And Musa and Aisha should get a chance to shine as spies.  Musa by reading minds to tell which students have accepted the Sith teachings and which have not, and Aisha I hope at least kept the magic thingy that eavesdrops on Dowling’s office.  Be nice if Aisha stayed the secretary, but I bet Rosalind puts Bloom in that place.

Beatrix will be official queen bee with her two-dude harem of Riven and Dane. But the three of them could turn out to be a problem, because they’ve all had moments of not-evil.  Riven is friends with Sky; what happens when the baddies threaten Sky?  Or when Dane gets squeamish?  Beatrix is a straight-up true believer in Rosalind and Andreas, but they’ve built that belief by making her desperate to find the truth.  What happens when the truth doesn’t match what her idols tell her?  Beatrix is everything she is, but she’s got a brain and there are moments when she seems to have a heart for her two fellas.  

Our nice adults are in trouble.  Ben Harvey is a good dude, but if he tries anything Rosalind can always threaten Sam and Terra, so he’s well and truly pinned.  

Silva has been hauled off to a dungeon somewhere!  I can guess that Sky and Bloom will launch a rescue mission as soon as Sky works out that his biological father is not a good dude and Silva really was on his side the whole time.

And poor Farah Dowling is dead and buried!  Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean we won’t see her again.  We don’t know the limits of Dowling’s powers, only that she is very badass indeed, so it seems totally possible that she could heal herself under the ground.  Or she could still be alive now, having sent a magical decoy to talk to Rosalind.  Dowling’s smart enough not to sit and chat with a magical baddie without taking precautions.  But I think it’ll be a tree, just because Faragonda got turned into a tree once.  A tree will grow on Dowling’s grave and she’ll step out of it alive.

Oh, and there are a “shit ton” more Burned Ones out there, and they’re ‘nothing compared to what’s coming”.  According to Rosalind who knows a lot but lies a lot.  

So our heros and heroines need to keep themselves from going to the dark side, protect Stella from her mum, rescue Silva, defeat the worse-than-Burned-Ones and rally their fellow students to kick the baddies out of their school!  They have a lot on their plates!

And there will be new characters, at least one.  There is no way that Netflix won’t bring a very latina Flora in after the backlash.  But is there really a place for her in the story?  Terra has a very different personality from Flora, so if they lean on Flora’s “gentle earth mother” side it could be ok.  But really the cast doesn’t need another earth fairy.  Or, might they kill off Terra?  Have her die awesome protecting her father? 

A black Tecna would be way more interesting, but I do not think that would appease the fandom since it’s such an obvious pander to the whitewashing accusations.  Also, there’s not much emphasis on technology in Fate so there’s really not much place for her either.

I’d rather like to see Ricki come back.  Stella’s bestie who Stel accidentally blinded.  Is she still blind?  Does she know it was an accident?  Does she hate Stella now, or did her horrified family forbid her to stay in touch?  Has Luna turned her against Stella, just in case the evil queen needs one more way to squeeze trauma-fueled magic out of her daughter?  What’s it like being a blind fairy?  We don’t know what element Ricki was, so maybe she could do the “see through the ground” thing like Toph, or as a mind fairy see through the eyes of the people around her.  Ricki would be interesting!  But I bet we never hear of her again.

Possibly I should write… no. Get thee behind me, plotbunnies!

But what do you think?  What do you think the baddie adults will do to the school?  How do you think the students will react?  Do you think Dowling is alive?  Who will Netflix add to the cast to try and calm the angry fandom, and who do you wish they would?  Are you glad we’re getting a season 2 or would you rather just let this part of Winx Club’s history vanish in the rearview mirror?

[septembersung]

So @bee-friend suggested that I do a homeschool resources/curriculum post. I don’t need lots of encouragement because I love talking about all this stuff. The trouble these days is not that there’s a paucity of resources, but actually that there’s too many. You can easily drown in a sea of options and contradictory methods. It’s kind of overwhelming if you don’t have some perspective from which to start cataloguing and evaluating.

I am not claiming to be an expert. My oldest is only in first grade so I can’t give a user experience on a wide range of curricula. What I do have going for me as a “guide” of sorts is that I am a compulsive researcher and plan-far-ahead-into-the-future person, because I want to already be aware of our options and be able to recognize methods, problems, and solutions for the problems, when I encounter them. In short, I’ve been reading about this for years, have been compiling our own curriculum from the get-go, and am always absorbing insight and recommendations from more experienced homeschooling families, so I have at least a passing acquaintance with a variety of methods and options. So please don’t read this as the gospel of an infallible all-knowing guide, but rather as a friend who’s living it talking to another friend who might be interested.

Personally, my approach was to begin by exhaustively reading about methods (classical? Charlotte Mason? What about the big boxed curriculum names like Seton?) so I could recognize them and evaluate their prospective merits, and then begin feeling out what works for me as a teacher and my kids as students. And then, within that framework, to read every booklist available - literally, if there’s a booklist from a reliable source for a needed subject or our age group, I will give it a once-over - and then put my money (when I have any) into building a home library. (If you have a good local library, use it! ...We don’t.) It’s worked great so far; my kids are bright, inquisitive, and, in terms of content-acquisition, consistently working above grade level.

I’m not up for a “comprehensive” post, so this is not an intro to everything that is out there or even necessarily every resource I’ve ever drawn on. (Unless it actually works for us and becomes a regular feature, I don’t keep track of links super well.) What I would like to do is share some Catholic (or adaptable-to-Catholic-needs) resources for the grammar level (broadly, K-2nd) that I’ve found useful: 

Mother of Divine Grace (MODG). My go-to guide. Classical education, i.e., emphasis on truth and beauty with learning divided into the stages of the trivium according to where, developmentally, the child is at. If you register with them, they literally teach you how to teach your child.

Little Schoolhouse in the Suburbs is a free MODG-guide and how-to, particularly helpful for first-time teachers and if you have to adapt, like for a learning disability. Her math drill breakdowns got us through half of Kindergarten math when I couldn’t afford to buy the textbook (we eventually received it as a gift.)

Ambleside Online and Mater Amabilis. Both are free Charlotte Mason (CM) curricula; Mater Amabilis is the Catholic version. CM is not classical education, but there’s overlap between CM and classical. Lots of classical homeschoolers use/have CM influences (including us.)

Build Your Library. Found this site through this article on what are living books and how to use them (a CM concept.) I haven’t really explored the site as a whole but I found the level 1 (1st grade) ancient history booklist and free sample syllabus extremely useful this summer as we launch into ancient Mesopotamia and Egypt. 

Note that Story of the World is a Protestant history and notably deficient in the Reformation era, and I’ve read other Catholic complaints. I do know Catholic families who adapt it, and also others who don’t bother because there’s now a Catholic version, The Story of Civilization, which I have the first book of and plan to try out later this year. And of course there are other Catholic (and secular) history programs.

RCHistory. It does stand for “Roman Catholic” history. It’s the only place I found that still has Kid’s Bible Timelines in stock from the “great adventure” program. Introduced me to the Gilgamesh trilogy, which my kids are in the middle of and really love. Here’s RCH’s ancient history options. 

Two guides to classical education and home education in general:

You can’t really do a homeschool guide without mentioning Susan Wise Bauer’s The Well-Trained Mind. The Bauers write from a Protestant perspective (they’re the source of Story of the World) but this book is invaluable for the broad perspective on classical education. 

Ditto Laura Berquist’s Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum, which is Catholic (she’s the source of MODG.)

I have older editions of both these books; I assume the newer editions have even more going for them, in terms of updated resources. 

 Preschool Math at Home. As a certified math failure and a product of public school, I was legitimately terrified to start teaching math to my preschooler. The two most important things that changed that were:

1) reading in Rebecca Frech’s book Teaching in Your Tiara, and I paraphrase: Look at this evidence of how terribly public schools are doing teaching math. And such a school  did after all produce you, who is scared of teaching your child 1 + 1. Can you do worse than that? You really can’t. 

There are a ton of Catholic-mom-homeschooling resources out there that focus on questions like “what resources are available” and “I think this is a good option but I’m afraid of x y and z.” A brief search brings up a bunch.

And 2) Preschool Math at Home, which explains in clear and logical fashion how beginning math skills build on each other and what you should be encouraging your child to do at each developmental stage. Once you understand a) what the early skills are and b) see they build on each other, the fear goes away. Then you just have to know your child, monitor what they can do, and respond to that. Which is just motherhood in a nutshell anyway. 

And finally: don’t ever underestimate what you can learn from homeschooling-mom blogs. Every August/September there’s a flurry of posts about curricula and lots of moms post regularly about what they’re reading, how they handle challenges, and what their methods are. Many of the big-name blogs that I started following from even before I was married are less active or defunct now, but a little internet searching and clicking around will start opening up what is in fact a very large and busy world. A good place to start finding these blogs is an annual linkup from SimpleHomeschool.net where bloggers share day-in-the-life posts. 

And an aside: if you don’t hate reading on screens (I do) there are a million books available for free online in various formats. Ambleside Online happens to have a convenient list of sites because they recommend free stuff whenever possible. 

Similarly, you might be amazed at how many and how varied the free online/printable worksheets, games, and “supplemental” resources are. The key here is to have looked at enough quality resources that you can judge the source and/or see when a given worksheet/activity is worth it or not.

If you’re interested in homeschooling, I hope this is helpful to you.

[daisylincs]

staticquake, 16 and 66? i look forward to anything you make!!

16 = Prison AU, 66 = It's Not You, It's My Enemies 

Hello, new friend, and thank you so much for the prompt!! I'm awfully flattered that you've liked my works so far - sending this one out to you with big virtual hugs 🤗

Daisy isn't sure how she ended up here, either. As shitty futures go, this one is pretty much a record. 

She was supposed to be, well, basically a princess. Her mother is the leader of the Inhuman people, and her father is one of the world's most brilliant scientists. 

When her mother revealed her plans to broaden her leadership to the rest of the world, Daisy didn't think it was such a bad idea. I mean, look at it logically. Jiaying was a good leader, and the world was a mess. Two plus two. It made sense. 

It also made sense, a little, that the rest of the world wouldn't really like this at first. They hadn't lived all their lives in Lai Shi, after all. They didn't know Jiaying was a really good leader who just wanted the best for them. 

Daisy was happy to use her powers to help her mother secure her leadership. It was the right thing to do, after all. She was helping the entire world. 

But then. 

But then, as more and more people resisted against their new government, Jiaying asked Daisy to make an example. 

"Make an example" meaning kill the people who were fighting back.

 Daisy would do a lot of things for her mother, but killing innocent people is not one of them. 

In retrospect, she's kicking herself over how stupid and naive she was. Jiaying never wanted the best for anyone - she just wanted to rule. How didn't she see it? 

It's too late for regrets now. She's here, in her mother's special prison for war criminals, quake-absorbing cuffs strapped to her wrists, and all she can do about it is kick herself. 

She was so stupid. 

And now she's stuck in prison. Yay. 

There are some good things about being here, though. Case in point: the friends she meets. 

Because it turns out, all those people Jiaying had locked up because they were "threats to the world we're trying to build?" Yeah. They're all actually really, really great people. 

Take Fitz and Jemma, for example. He's engineering, she's biochem, and they're pretty much the cutest thing Daisy has ever seen. Seriously - the way they talk over and around each other is pretty much what makes this prison bearable.

 Then there's Hunter and Bobbi, who are basically the polar opposite of Fitz and Jemma. They bicker constantly, about everything, and while they're also annoyingly in-sync, it's in knowing exactly how to push each other's buttons. 

Last but definitely not least, Coulson and May, who Daisy is 99% sure are married. Or partners. Or something. Because you do not get to act that much like parents and not be involved in some way. 

They're a ragtag, motley group, but Daisy surprises herself by how much they begin to feel like home.

Prison, she decides, is shit. 

But it's the kind of shit that bonds people. 

So she wouldn't say her life is good. Dear God no. She's still not even sure how exactly she ended up here. 

But it's not bad. 

So when there's a disturbance in the normal prison routine one day, Daisy can't help but be intrigued. 

This isn't just the usual offloading of prisoners. It's... almost like the day she arrived here. 

She and the rest of the gang gather in the courtyard to see just what, exactly, caused this big of a fuss. 

And when Daisy sees the guy, she can't help but snort. "Seriously?" 

This guy is about as far from threatening as you could possibly imagine - all blond hair and blue eyes and this overwhelming air of niceness that makes Daisy want to puke rainbows. He's the dictionary definition of the boy-next-door love interest in one of those cheesy rom-coms her father used to love. 

All Daisy can think is, dude, what the hell are you doing here? 

She asks him exactly that. (She's never been shy.) 

He looks up and smiles at her, all innocent and cheerful, and oh dear God but he's nice. It's just pouring off him in waves. "I got arrested," he tells her. 

She rolls her eyes. "Thank you, Captain Obvious. Why?" 

"Well, because I didn't agree with what Jiaying was doing," he says, adding as an afterthought, "and I'm dangerous." 

Daisy can't help but snort at that. "Sure you are, Pikachu, sure you are." 

(She blames Hunter for the sass rubbing off on her.) 

"I am," he tells her quite seriously, lifting up his wrists to show her a set of cuffs very similar to her own - only these seem to be made of some kind of insulating material. 

Daisy blinks. "You're an Inhuman?" 

He nods, pulling at the cuffs. Daisy knows from experience that they won't budge an inch, but she feels for him. 

He looks up at her, a hint of frustration in his eyes. "If I had my powers, we'd all be out of here in a second," he says. 

She knows the feeling. "Same," she says, showing him her own cuffs. 

His eyes widen. "Whoa, you're an Inhuman too!" Then, because apparently he speaks well before he thinks, he adds, "I was starting to think I was the only Inhuman who had a problem with murder." 

His cheeks flush pink right away. "Oh, er, um," he stammers. "I'm sure you're a lovely person, really -" 

She rolls her eyes, but there's a grin tugging at her lips. "Okay, Sparky," she says, going for an educated guess as to his powers. (Hey, she is the leader's daughter.) "What's your name?" 

"Right, sorry," he says, blushing redder, if that's possible. "I'm Lincoln." 

"Daisy," she says. "And I would shake your hand, but…" 

"Cuffs," they say at the same time. 

And Daisy would probably have stayed there smiling at him for an embarrassingly long amount of time if Jemma didn't clear her throat. 

"Daisy," she says in an oh-my-God-Daisy-met-a-boy kind of voice. "Who's your friend?" 

"Right," Daisy says, and great, now she's blushing. That won't make Jemma suspicious at all. "Guys, this is Lincoln. He's an Inhuman, too." 

"Is he, now," Hunter says, and Daisy doesn't like his emphasis at all. Far too much like an asshole older brother, that one. 

"We are delighted to meet you," Bobbi chimes in, and all Daisy can think is really, you too? Because, apparently, nobody's immune. 

Poor Lincoln looks as awkward as hell. "Um, thanks," he says, shifting from foot to foot. 

Before anyone can say much else, though, May warns sharply, "Incoming." 

And, oh, shit, Daisy can already see the guards approaching. 

Lincoln looks more confused than ever, and Daisy grabs his arm, yanking him off to one of the quieter corners of the prison yard. "If the guards catch you in a group, you're toast," she explains quickly. "No more than two people are allowed to talk for extended periods of time. They're afraid we'll make up an escape plan or something." She squints across the yard to watch the guards warily. "They're especially paranoid when it comes to me." 

He tilts his head. "Why, what do you -" 

"I'm Quake," Daisy admits, dropping his arm and determinedly studying her feet. 

He blinks. "Whoa. Quake, as in Jiaying's daughter? That Quake?" 

“That's me," she agrees, hearing the sting of bitterness in her voice. She's not proud of the things she did for her mother, not even a little. 

"Whoa," Lincoln says again. And then he takes her completely by surprise by saying, "so, wait, your powers - they're vibration-based? Do you hear it in your head, or…?" 

Daisy doesn't know what to say for a second. She was expecting… fear, horror, disgust, revulsion, and honestly, she'd deserve it. 

But instead, she gets… curiosity? 

"Sorry," Lincoln says, ducking his head. "It's just… I haven't had the chance to talk to another Inhuman for a long time." 

His frankness surprises her, and so does his genuine, enthusiastic curiosity. It took all of her friends a while to accept who she was and what she had done, but Lincoln didn't need to question it. 

It's a nice feeling, being accepted immediately. 

And, look, she isn't saying her friends weren't great. Because they were. Great. 

But there's something about talking to someone who is like her, who understands her right down to a molecular level, who is curious rather than afraid. 

So she tells him about her powers, about how it feels like she has a hangover made of bees after she uses them. 

His whole face lights up, and before she knows it, she's swept up in an entire conversation. 

And Daisy is surprised to find how much she's smiling as she lies down on her crappy cot that night. 

Being Inhuman… it's a part of her. In her blood. 

And, okay, talking about it can never compare to the real thing. 

But Lincoln is Inhuman, too. And there are all these things, little things, she couldn't tell her friends because they just wouldn't get it. 

Now, though… well. There's a reason she's smiling up at her ceiling. 

She specifically seeks him out the next day at breakfast, and the happy-surprised look he gives her as she sits down next to him is enough to make her decide immediately that yeah, she's staying. 

He's just so… nice. 

Everything about Lincoln is nice. Spending time with him reminds her about all the good things in Lai Shi. 

Plus, the two of them can really talk, for ages and ages - tucked away in a little corner of the prison yard where the guards can't see them. Daisy feels like they've covered everything from their favourite board games to what it's like to use their powers (and how much they miss them), and it's really nice. 

Her friends are absolutely amazing, but there are times when she just feels like SUCH a third wheel. (The heart eyes Fitz and Jemma can send each other sometimes, honestly.) 

But now she doesn't have to feel awkwardly sidelined anymore - she can just go talk to Lincoln. 

And she does. All the time. 

She doesn't realise what's happening until one day when she's hightailing it away from Fitz-and-Jemma and Hunter-and-Bobbi and May-and-Coulson, all of whom have decided to, er, have some couple time. At the same time. 

And she catches herself thinking, well, at least I've got Lincoln. 

That's when it hits her like a ton of bricks. 

She was just trying to get away from all these couples, and then her brain automatically jumped to Lincoln?!?! 

That doesn't make any sense! 

Unless… wait. 

Wait, wait, wait. 

Oh, shit. 

Oh, no, no, no. 

This is really bad. 

Daisy's not stupid. She knows her mother's got people in this prison, watching her all the time - it's why she hasn't tried to escape yet. 

Spending too much time with anyone is a risk - if she gets too close to anyone, her mother could use them against her. 

But she knows her mom. Jiaying doesn't think friendships are nearly as strong as they can be, so as long as Daisy doesn't give her an explicitly romantic bond to exploit, she's fine.

 Well, shitty shitty fuck fuck. She had very nearly gone and done just that. 

Daisy takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and tries her very hardest to convince herself that, no, she's just imagining things, they're just good friends, that's all, finished and done. 

But then Lincoln's voice breaks into her thoughts. "Daisy?" He sounds concerned, and she feels his warm hand on her shoulder, just a little awkward because of the stupid cuffs, but there. "Are you okay? You look worried." 

She swallows hard, opening her eyes slowly. The look in his eyes… he cares so much. 

She knows, then, that she definitely wasn't imagining things. This - their friendship - is hovering on the edge of more. 

She also knows that she has to end it. Immediately. 

But, oh, God, how does she say this? 

Lincoln's eyes are full of concern as he searches her face. "Daisy?" His hand on her shoulder is still there, soft and warm and reassuring, and right now it burns like a brand. 

She steps sharply away, already feeling awful for the hurt and confusion that flickers over his face. 

"I'm fine," she says, and her voice sounds off, even to her own ears. "I just… I can't do this anymore." 

Lincoln blinks. "Can't… what?"

"This," she says, gesturing sharply between them and trying to ignore how the hurt in his blue eyes stabs her straight in the stomach. "I can't do this. It's too much. Too close." 

She turns away, because she doesn't think she can look at him right now. 

But he catches her arm, tugging her around to face him again. "I'm sorry," he says, and she almost laughs, because he's the one apologising? What. 

"I'm so sorry if I pushed you too far, or too fast," he continues, his blue eyes genuinely anguished, and oh God this is tearing her apart. "I just thought we were friends, and I never meant to push, I swear. I just thought maybe… But, Daisy, if you're not comfortable with it, I'll step back as far as you need me to. Just please don't leave, I -" 

Daisy shakes her head, unable to find any words.

 This is all just so massively, monumentally unfair. In any other life, they could have been together. They could have been happy. 

But because of her mother, they can't.  

Daisy can almost feel the tears prickling at her eyes, which shocks her, because she never cries. 

But then again, she's also never been in a situation like this before. 

She wants to tell him it's nothing like that, she'd like nothing more than to kiss him right now. 

Instead, she forces out the words, "I can't." 

His eyes are almost disbelieving for a second, then so hurt and betrayed it physically stings, then… nothing. His gaze goes completely blank.

It's far, far worse, and she immediately wants to take her words back, every single one of them. 

But she can't. 

"Okay," he says, clipped, and turns away. 

Daisy buries her head in her hands. She wants to tell him it's got nothing to do with him - she'd give anything to take this step with him. 

But she can't. It's better for him if he doesn't know the truth, because then he won't ever come after her again. It's better this way. 

Only, it turns out, it's really not. 

Apparently one of the guards saw their little confrontation, and somehow twisted it up so that Jiaying heard a story about a lovers' argument. 

She comes to collect Lincoln the next day. 

The worst thing is, Daisy wasn't even there when it happened - they took her away for a "special inspection." 

She had to hear about it later from Jemma. 

And when she did, the dam cracked. 

Jiaying had manipulated her into doing her dirty work for years. Then she had thrown her into a prison. Then she had kept her apart from probably the first decent boyfriend Daisy would ever have - and now she had taken Lincoln away, when Daisy hadn't even actually told him how she felt?

 It's too. fucking. much. 

Daisy feels a kind of buzzing in her head as a slow, boiling anger built up in her body. 

How dare Jiaying. How dare she? 

The buzzing sound in her head grows louder and louder and LOUDER, until she can't take it anymore and let's it out in a desperate, furious scream. 

The cuffs on her wrists shatter into a million pieces - along with every single window in the building. 

For a moment, there's perfect silence. Daisy stares at her free hands in wonder, and gasps out loud as she feels a a wave of vibrations ripple through her body. 

Oh. Oh, but she's missed this.

 This is who she is. 

Then the screaming starts, and it jerks Daisy sharply into action.

 Right now, she doesn't give a damn how the hell it happened. She's got her powers back, and she's bloody well going to put them to good use.

 When the first wave of guards comes pouring in, she's ready for them - blasting them across the compound and into the far wall with a hugely satisfying CRASH. 

She walks through the door and into the yard slowly, and it's as though her every step is singing with power. 

Quake is back. 

Wisely, nobody tries to stand in her way - one of the guards even stammers, his eyes literally squeezed shut in terror, "J-Jiaying's in the summerhouse." 

"Thank you," Daisy says, cold and calm. But just before she leaves, she turns to her group of friends, who are all gaping at her, slack-jawed, "well? Are you coming along?" 

They all move after her as one. 

And Daisy has never felt more powerful as she does that moment when she blasts down the doors to her mother's summerhouse. 

Lincoln is lying on the floor, barely conscious by the looks of him, with Jiaying standing over him. 

Daisy had thought she would hesitate to attack her own mother, but this?

 She will not allow this. 

She blasts Jiaying with a shattering shockwave, knocking her into the far wall, where she falls down, limp and unconscious. 

Daisy is vaguely aware of Coulson and Jemma rushing over to Jiaying's side (Jemma with a stethoscope, and Coulson with handcuffs) but all she can really focus on is Lincoln. 

She rushes over to crouch down next to him, holding her hand over his cuffs to shatter them. And before he can do much as thank her, she's talking. 

"Lincoln, I am so, so sorry," she says fervently, reaching for both his hands and lacing her fingers tightly with his. "I thought I was protecting you by pushing you away, I swear I never meant for this to happen, I would never -" 

"Daisy," he interrupts, untangling their hands so he can cup her face. "Daisy, it's okay. I know you wouldn't." 

She leans forward and presses her forehead against his, letting her actions do the talking for her. 

It seems to work, because his grip on her face softens. "I figured that's why you did it," he tells her in a lower voice. 

She blinks. "You did?" 

His gaze is wry. "Well, it did take me a while, but yeah, the whole kidnapping thing kind of helped me figure it out." A small smile tugs at his lips, and it's the best thing she's seen all day. "And, you know," he says, and his voice is almost playful. "I didn't think I was that bad at reading your signals." 

Daisy can feel herself smiling as she echoes his actions, cradling his face in her hands. "You're not," she says. "Bad at reading me." 

He's smiling, too, and the blossom of hope in her chest it gives is the most wonderful feeling she's had in a long time. "Good," he says. 

And then they're kissing. She's not sure who moved first, or even how exactly they got there, but she kind of suspects it was a mutual thing. 

And, in some far-off corner of her mind, she knows that there's going to be a lot of work to do. The world's governments need to be rebuilt. Jiaying needs to be locked up in her own prison. The Inhumans are going to need a new leader. 

But right now, she really doesn't care. 

The world can suck it up and wait a little bit. 

Right now, she's busy. 

The End.

[ladyofpurple]

here it is: the post Literally no one was waiting for. i'd put it under a read more thing but i'm on mobile and can't be assed to get out of bed so fuck it. we air our dirty laundry on main for the world to see like men.

so waaay back in february or something, i started seeing a psychologist again. i'd been seeing a psychologist for a while last year, but she had a private practice and got too expensive over time, so i had to stop. now, however, i finally got a referral to the public mental health offices in my county. which is nice, because norway has this neat thing that means when you go to the doctor, public health care facilities, refill prescriptions for medications you have to take daily, etc, the money you spend on those things gets recorded and after you've spent like $260, you get a free card that gets logged into your medical records and you don't have to pay for any of those things for the rest of the year.

anyway, i mentioned a couple of years back that i finally got put on antidepressants for the first time. they helped a lot, but then i just... stopped taking them. there wasn't a reason, really. i just forgot to take them one week when i was stuck in bed with a headcold, and then it was hard to get back in the habit again. i tried to get back on them off and on for a long time, but i'd inevitably just forget again. until, like, i wanna say november/early december last year? i started taking them again. there were still some slip-ups every now and then, but for the most part i took them almost every day. any gaps were no longer than two, maybe three days at the most, and those gaps were maybe once a month or so on average. averages aren't really useful in this context, but i hope you get the idea.

anyway, i finally convinced my doctor that, no, seriously, i really need to see a psychologist, i've always needed to see psychologists my whole life, seeing psychologists help me, i can't afford a private psychologist so i need a public one, and after a lot of begging and insisting on my end and a lot of hemming and hawing on her end she finally agreed to refer me. except she forgot to actually send the email she'd been typing in front of me, and then she quit, so there was a lot of confusion and time spent sorting things out until i got my first appointment.

i didn't like my psychologist at first. she was way older than i'm usually comfortable with (that's a personal me-problem that i know is irrational, and i'm not gonna go into the why but yes i'm working on it), and very blunt in an exasperated sort of way. she made me angry sometimes. she made me feel like i wasn't trying hard enough. but she helped me get shit done, so i guess she was doing something right.

in june she called in a psychiatrist to help adjust my medications, so i started taking zoloft in addition to the other medication (remeron, aka mirtazapine) that i was already taking. the mirtazapine was helping with my depression, but my anxiety was still pretty bad. the zoloft helped.

by my second appointment with my psychologist, she asked me whether i could have adhd, or if there was a history of it in my family. now, i have a lot of family with adhd (how closely related we are by blood is a bit of a mystery to me, my family tree is more like an overgrown hedge and who knows who fits where), and my grandma used to joke that the women in our family "all have a little bit of that adhd brain in us", but as far as i knew, nobody in my immediate, direct bloodline had such a diagnosis. i had my suspicions about myself, of course — i knew that not every focus or attention related problem necessarily has a specific attention disorder source, but i also knew that what i was experiencing couldn't be "normal," in the sense that if i walked into a room with 100 people in it, 86 of those people wouldn't necessarily look at a list of my symptoms and go "oh same hat." i've had add on my about me for a while now. maybe that was silly of me; i hadn't been diagnosed with it, and what i knew about the specifics of it were picked up piecemeal off the internet. you know, that super-reliable place where everyone is honest and factual all the time?

anyway, this began the process of investigating the merits of such a potential diagnosis. research was begun. questionnaires were taken. my mom was invited to one of my sessions, in which she revealed that, oh yeah, bee tee dubs, she's always suspected i have adhd. did she mention that she has also apparently always suspected ocd and that i'm autistic? no? whoops, well, she has now.

end of june i was referred to the neuropsychologist devision of the public health care place. over the course of a little over 6 weeks i went in for 2 interviews, in which i answered several questionnaires, talked about my life and childhood and traumas and what my mom had told me about her pregnancy and labor, every possible symptom i'd ever had, and was sent home with even *more* questionnaries. in addition to these, i went in for two rounds of "testing," in which i was tested on my memory, pattern recognition, reaction time, impulse control, and probably a dozen other things. i was nervous. it was exhausting. i wanted answers but was terrified of what those answers would be.

end of august, my mom came with me for the big reveal. and guess what? she was right. primary diagnosis: adhd, special emphasis on the attention deficit part. bonus diagnosis: asperger syndrome. surprise! i'm autistic, i guess.

it was hard to come to terms with. which sounds really silly, since i wouldn't have even been taking those tests if i didn't think the outcome was a possibility. and it's not like the diagnoses were surprising either. the adhd part was easier to accept, mostly because i already felt pretty confident i had it. but the asperger diagnosis was harder. having to unlearn all those ingrained ableist stereotypes and social stigmas is hard, especially when you had some you didn't even realize were there. it's very surreal to think a thought and be like "no, wait, i do that. that joke is about me." it's a very surreal and slightly upsetting experience to realize how biased you are as general rule, but especially about a facet of your own identity you weren't aware of. and the feeling of everything and nothing changing all at once. i've always been like this. a doctor telling me i have two cognitive/developmental disabilities isn't an event that magically gave me these disabilities. my brain has always worked like this. the only difference between me now and me a year ago is that i have an official, medical reason for Why now.

that's another thing: coming to terms with the idea of being "developmentally disabled." it's not like i'm suddenly a different person — i have to constantly remind myself that my brain has always been like this. but having a piece of paper confirming that i am legally entitled to special allowances in the workplace or at school because i have not one, but two "disabilities" is absolutely buckwild to me.

it makes me reevaluate my life and my past. how many situations did i make worse because i did not have the capacity or knowledge about how my own brain works to self-reflect? was i high-functioning in the past because life was simpler? was it because i subconsciously had a better handle on what works for me and what doesn't, and somewhere along the way i lost that? or was it simply because i didn't have the option to be anything other than high-functioning? it's confusing.

i also lost my spot at college. i can still reapply next year if i want, but at least now i know why i was failing out lmao

anyway, by my birthday in september we started the process of adjusting my medication again. upping my zoloft, getting me off remeron, and as of 6 weeks ago or so, beginning ritalin.

it was a rocky start, but i'm up to 60mg now. two pills in the morning, one in the afternoon. i have a goddamn alarm for 8am every day, even weekends. my sleeping is still wonky, but at least im genuinely tired by 8pm every night. the psychiatrist still wants me to try melatonin for a month (even though i told her multiple times it has never worked for me, and my problem has never been "i'm not sleepy enough"), so i'm on a whopping 2mg of melatonin for the next 30 days. norwegians are fucking WEIRD about melatonin, don't even get me started.

a slightly unexpected side-effect (on my end) of these medication changes: remeron made me gain weight. like, a lot of weight. and i was constantly hungry all the time, overeating to ridiculous amounts. why did nobody ever tell me that weight gain and metabolism changes are a side-effect of anti-depressants? i was more active this summer than i'd been in, like, three years and i just got fatter. which was incomvenient because i kept outgrowing my clothes. anyway, a side effect of ritalin is a loss of appetite and general weight loss. the combination of regularly taking ritalin and dropping remeron entirely? i eat a fraction of what i used to before, i've almost entirely stopped snacking, and i've lost 15 lbs in less than a month. i've already noticed my face is slightly slimmer now. maybe by christmas i'll be able to fit into my old tshirts again.

anyway, my psychologist quit, so i have a new one now. i've only seen her a few times, but she's veeeery different from my old one. i can't decide if i like her or not.

in the middle of all this, i've been going to the social security office as well to kind of get some of my own money, possibly help me get a job at some point in the future. my caseworker is super nice. if she's over 30 i'd be shocked. i relate to her really well, she's very helpful and understanding, and she's very patient with me and my bullshit. she's the kind of person where if we met at a party or something we could probably hang out.

anyway, she's helped me get out of the house sometimes. she introduced me to this youth club volunteer group thing called the fountain house, designed for young people who've dealt with or are currently dealing with mental illnesses and such. i hung out there yesterday and the day before and did some basic office work. it's nice. and then there's a work placement place that can either give you a job on site in one of their four departments, or help you get a job at an actual business elsewhere with more support and leniency than you might get if they just hired you off the street. i'd start in their second hand store. they clean and restore all donations they recieve, and they're super fucking cheap. i treated myself to my literal lifelong dream of owning a vintage typewriter (!!!!!) yesterday, because it's almost christmas and goddammit, i've been doing so much shit the past couple of months i deserve it. do i have space for it? not really. do i have a plan on what to use it for? no. was it heavy and miserable trekking through the snow and rain yesterday back and forth? was it worth the backache in the morning? fuck yeah it was.

a fucking lot of things are happening all at once. diagnoses, medications, lifestyle changes, work placement, social clubs, dealing with bureaucracies on all sides just so i can feel like a person again, not to mention juggling hobbies like writing and drawing and maintaining my irl friendships. i'm getting as many balls rolling as i can while i have the opportunity and mental/emotional capacity to, but i'm worried i'll burn out again. i'm stabilizing and slowly building my life back up, but jesus christ it would suck if this stupid house of cards collapsed again. but i'm tentatively optimistic. who knows, maybe it's not to late to course-correct my mistakes.

so long story short, that's why i've barely been active on tumblr for months. that's why i haven't been writing, drawing, or reading fic. it's coming along, but it's slow.

i guess the most important thing is that it's coming along at all.

[littlemisssquiggles]

I'm worried about Volume 7 for RWBY. What if they pander to the Bumbleby fans again like they did in Volume 6? What if they make Blake a full-on lesbian and make her and Yang kiss in front of Sun? WHAT IF THEY MAKE EVERYONE IN THE SHOW LGBT!!!???? D:) I'm just a little worried that CRWBY is going to make the show more LGBT (Not that I hate LGBT even though I'm heterosexual, its just that there was too much in Volume 6.

Ooof! This is a pretty touch and go subject anon-chan. So I will do my best to remain as humble and respectable about it while still providing an honest opinion on the matter. Fair warning, it’s a rather long answer post:

I see what you’re basically saying anon. I’m also a straight person but  I am supportive of the LGBT community. Like anyone in today’s media, I’d like for my LGBT brethren to receive just as much good representation because why not? Why shouldn’t their stories and experiences be told too, y’know what I’m saying? Why shouldn’t they be able to look at a character on screen and see themselves in said character since they can relate to who they are as a person and what their experiences?

That’s how I look at it. But there is a fine line between what could be considered great representation and pandering. I’m a glutton for good storytelling and character writing so what I consider great representation is when you’re able to take a certain kind of character—any kind of character regardless of who they are— and just tell a good story with them. Something that makes me as the audience care about said character regardless even if I may not relate directly to them as a person or their experiences.

For example: I may not be LGBT but if you give me an LGBT character with a great story and terrific writing to back them up—one who is not just an LGBT character but a good character overall who is LGBT (believe it or not,there is a difference) then I can support said character. Not just because they are LGBT but because they are a good character. Just like in real life, there is more to an individual than just their sexuality or one characteristic about them. I get that a character’s orientation is a part of who they are but it’s not ALL that they are; y’know what I’m saying?

What I personally don’t like seeing is when showrunners make half-ass attempts at appealing to certain demographics by introducing characters who feel more like cardboard cut-outs or props placed on a string to dangle to said target audience as opposed to being actual characters who feel like real people with exceptionally-written stories that the audience can connect with.

Personally, I am tired of the whole schlock where showrunners introduce LGBT characters like it’s a last minute brain fart. It’s especially worse when they take characters who weren’t initially confirmed to be LGBT at the start of the series but suddenly make this a big reveal later in the series run. I’m not talking S2 but like in way later seasons; like near the very end when the series is about to wrap up. And I’m not even talking like it’s a thing where the character go on a journey of self-discovery where they are unsure of their orientation at first and the seasons are about building up to them coming out. I’m talking straight up saying “This character is LGBT now. That’s it. They just are. Nevermind that they weren’t that several seasons ago. They’re just that. The end.”

I’m looking straight at you Voltron: Legendary Defender and before you, Legend of Korra.  

Additionally, what sucks is that often times, if an LGBT character is introduced in a such a contrived way and you as an audience member complain about it due to how it was portrayed, you end up being labelled with some derogatory term that overlooks what you were trying to say. It’s like some folksactively believe that you should automatically support something just because it represents a minority group and you should be happy that this is what certain shows are doing to breech that.

For example: I, as an audience member, should automatically be supportive of an LGBT character and relationship within a show I like because it is LGBT. Nevermind if it’s good representation, I should just like it because it is this and if I don’t, I’m labelled as being homophobic. Nevermind that I have justifiable reasons for not supporting said character or pairing that have nothing to do with them being LGBT. I’m just automatically roped in with the people who are like this despite my views not highlighting any kind of animosity towards LGBT representation overall.

To tell me that I should automatically support all LGBT rep in RWBY because it is LGBT is like telling me that Emerald Sustrai should automatically be my all-time favourite character because she is a black female character in the show and I am a black female.

Don’t get me wrong. I like Emerald but she isn’t my favourite. Ya’ll know who my favourite is. I don’t need to repeat myself. But should I be considered a racist just because I say Emerald isn’t my favourite despite my reasons having little to do with the colour of her skin but rather how she is written in the series? No.

This is why I don’t like seeing examples where fans are labelled homophobic just because they don’t support Bumblebee or any other LGBT character or ship within RWBY.

Let’s use the favourite character example again. My favourite character in RWBY is Oscar Pine. Oscar isn’t the best developed character within the series but my interest in him stems from the tremendous potential he has to become one of the best written characters in RWBY given the calibre of characters and stories he draws inspiration from. That being said, I can understand why not many people like Oscar. As a matter of fact, my main frustration with Oscar as a fan of his is how he’s portrayed within the show and how his growth and development is often handled by the CRWBY Writers. I understand why it’d be difficult for others to get behind Oscar as a favourite character since the writing, more often than none, doesn’t support how good he could be. (We’ll see if V7 finally changes that).

The same thing can be said for the Bumblebee pair and why there are those folks who are unable to support it 100%. I’ll focus on the Bees as my primary LGBT rep example since they’re the pair you mainly brought up.

I’m aware that there are those special folks out there who harp on this pairing simply because it is LGBT. I know those fans exist and it’s a shame that that’s their feelings but, to each their own. However, as I must say with great emphasis—not everyone who dislikes or isn’t supportive of Bumblebee are homophobic.

I’ll use myself as an exemplar of this. I’m a BlackSun shipper who has zero issue with Bumblebee or the prospect of it becoming canon endgame. On the contrary,as of V6, I’ve wholeheartedly stopped caring about who the showrunners put to be Blake’s final love interest. After watching 6 seasons of the showrunners tease both BlackSun and Bumblebee, I’ve grown tired of this charade they’ve forced us fans to dance to. 

I don’t care who Blake ends up with. I just would very much like for the CRWBY Writers to make up their mind on who they wish to push to be with Blake and stick with said person.

One of the reasons I’ve heard folks say the Writers are pushing Bumblebee now is because Sun is out of the picture and in all honestly, I can see the truth in this. It does feel rather suspicious that the instant Sun is out of the story, it’s suddenly bee season. Say what you wish to say, BlackSun is a ship that has always been at the forefront since V1. 

By my observations, Bumblebee didn’t become as glaringly apparent as it is now until the end of V5 going into V6. 

The Beekeepers can debate as much as they’d like about ‘Bumblebee being planned from the beginning’ but this is simply not true. I rewatched all of RWBY with the recent two seasons still being very fresh in my mind. I recapped the series with an open-mind to see if all those hints that Beekeepers have preached about for years on end held up.

In V1, Blake and Yang were teammates slowly becoming friends similar to Weiss and Ruby and that was basically it. In V2, it was the same energy and I know they had their famous moment in ‘Burning the Candle’ that most Beekeepers like to use as leverage to imply that this was the starting line of Blake and Yang ‘falling in love’ but again, this was not the case. 

That moment could easily be argued as a mere meaningful scene between two very close friends. Blake and Yang weren’t lovers or even seen to be falling in love with each other in that scene. It was just one friend trying to help another during a dire time where she almost destroyed herself with her own obsession over Torchwick.

In V3, same thing—friends looking out for each other. You can basically say that the Beacon Trilogy did a great job of establishing the friendship between Blake and Yang. Particularly Yang’s loyalty to Blake as one of her closest friends.   

From V1, Yang was always seen as someone who had Blake’s back no matter what. No matter how many times Blake was called out for her actions, she had Yang’s support. It’s what made it so heart-breaking to watch in V3 when Yang needed that trust and support reciprocated by Blake during the moment where she was framed during the Vytal Festival or even after losing her arm.

Instead of being there for her, Blake either expressed doubt in Yang (due to her past with Adam) or straight up ran. As unfortunate as it is to say, Blake wasn’t as good of a friend to Yang as she was to her and this was good because it was a set up for her whole arc during the events of V4-V6.

Up until this point, everything regarding Blake and Yang’s relationship had been about their friendship. Friends who are there for each other. That’s the thing. I can make the argument that Bumblebee, as a couple, did not become a real focus until the end of V5. 

And from V6, that’s when the pandering started to slowly happen. This is why I never bought into Beekeepers celebrating the Bees being canon after V6. I didn’t see that and I still can’t understand how the Beekeepers can see Blake and Yang murdering Adam Taurus as a triumph for their relationship.

It is…sort of…but at the same time it isn’t. It’s morally stained. On one end, you have two friends who both suffered at the hands of this villain before working together to take him down but on the other hand, they killed him.

Now his blood is on their hands and what’s bothersome is that the series simply treats it like nothing. No emotional or psychological repercussions for either girl. Again we’ll see if V7 does anything with that, but nonetheless, I did not believe Bumblebee being canon after V6.

Bumblebee isn’t there yet for me. It has the potential to get there if that is what the showrunners wholeheartedly wished to do. I just wished they would take their time to continue to flesh out the Bumblebee dynamic before possibly bringing in romance if that’s in the cards for these two. And I certainly hope that they aren’t only pushing the Bees to score points with the Beekeepers, using their support to push the show.

I’m not saying all the Yang and Blake moments were blatant pandering; but I will admit there were one or two that were glaringly obvious.

Similar to you anon-chan, I didn’t particular enjoy the pandering to this ship last season either. I honestly felt that the showrunners were more focused on the pandering than actually continuing to develop Blake and Yang’s bond overall. 

This is especially sad because there was room for further growth as brought up in V5. However it feels like most of the former tension that was highlighted in V5 suddenly got dropped by the finale, which made me question why even bring it up in the first place, y’know what I mean?

My main justification for not lobbying behind this pair is because there hasn’t been much evidence within the show to really sell these two as lovers for me. And the pandering doesn’t help. I don’t like pandering.

Nothing wrong with tossing some delicious breadcrumbs for potential canon ships within a series. But what I tend to dislike is when showrunners only bait certain ships to score points with the audience members lobbying for this kind of pair when in actuality they have zero intentions of making said ship official. I’ve mostly seen this sort of thing done with LGBT ships in animated series and it gets annoying after some time.

Why string people along like that? If you are not serious about making certain relationships canon or developing them in a way that feels natural, realistic and relatable to a variety of audiences; not just the one it’s mainly targeted at, then…don’t do it at all. 

It’s like what J.K. Rowling has been doing with the recent queer baiting in the Fantastic Beasts series. Why claim that you have that rep within your franchise only to not do it when you had the chance to? So basically you were only doing it for the attention it brings in today’s modern media. Gotta score dem sweet woke points. 

That level of pandering is what I find obnoxious and in the case of RWBY, I wouldn’t like for that to be done for Bumblebee ship or any other LGBT character or ship to come out of the series moving forward.

But to be fair, in defence of the CRWBY, sometimes it’s not always them. In terms of LGBT rep, sometimes a show might not introduce two characters or their bond as being LGBT but some audience members, for whatever reason, end up interpreting it that way and that’s the appeal of it for them. Some might even end up advocating for the show to confirm said characters to be LGBT purely because that’s what they like to see regardless of whether it was the showrunner’s intention or not.

This is what I’m seeing currently within the FNDM where a lot of Bee-shippers are seeing the conclusion of V6 as being a sign that Bumblebee is officially canon when the reality is that that’s not the case. You can almost say that is an example of an instance when the show is pandering to a certain type of audience and that audience takes what’s given and runs far with it even though that’s not the confirmed case within the series itself.

Again, I don’t believe Bumblebee is canon. While I feel like that may be where the show wants to take them, they’re not there as yet. And until the show takes the proper time to develop this pairing in that supposed direction, I’m not going to fully buy into it. But this is only my view. I have no control over how another fan interprets something. I can only speak for myself.

What if they pander to the Bumbleby fans again like they did in Volume 6?

Honestly, I’ll say this again. If Blake and Yang being canonically revealed as LGBT is the CRWBY Writers’ vision for these characters, all I can hope for is that it’s handled well. 

Like I said. I have retired from caring about who Blake ends up with romantically. While I will always remain a BlackSun shipper at heart (since I love my Sunshine boi), Blake’s love life is no longer of interest to me moving forward. I don’t care who the CRWBY picks just as long as they make up their mind and stick with it.

I really hope that the CRWBY aren’t pushing the Bees now because of no Sun. I honestly hope that we don’t get plenty of Bees for the majority of the Atlas Arc only for them to introduce some boring unnecessary drama between them and Sun as soon as they head for Vacuo. Please no! 

Up until now I never got the impression within the actual show that there was ever a love triangle between Yang, Blake and Sun. That kind of stuff was mostly reserved for the toxic side of the FNDM with the ridiculous shipping wars between BlackSun and Bumblebee. I would honestly be mega pissed if the Sunnybees love triangle is made into an actual subplot for RWBY in a future season. HELL NO!

Even now I still believe Bumblebee to be one-sided. What made me get behind Bumblebee was mainly for what it would mean for Yang. Between the two girls, I felt the Bumblebee vibe strongest with Yang more than Blake since at the time back in V5, she was with Sun and her focus was on Adam. 

Because of this, I looked at the show using Bumblebee as a way of showing Yang coming to terms with her sexuality  through realizing what her feelings for Blake meant to her and I was down for that. Very rare do I see animated series touch on the topic of showing characters coming to terms with their sexual orientation and having that ‘coming out’ moment. I’ve mostly seen it done in live action TV shows but not so much in animation. 

After V3, I thought that was what Miles and Kerry were going to do with Yang. Did that happen? Not really. I’m not even sure what was done for V6. All I know is that as soon as Sun was taken out of the picture, the Bumblebee hints started dropping; sparingly but so hard that it’s almost in your face.

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting any Bumblebee hints like that. Since V5 introduced Yang still having tension with Blake over the end of V3, I was hoping that V6 would’ve shown these two sitting down, have a nice long talk and then slowly rebuilding that trust and good rapport that was originally there between them.

 Instead Yang just magically forgave Blake at the end of V5 and then they really never honestly spoke about what happened in V3 at all that season. Sure it had the talk during Brunswick Farm which was a good start; but it never really went anywhere substantive from there. At least not to me.

We got one moment of Yang and Blake discussing Adam in V6 C5 and then the next time that actually had relevance was in C10 after Adam suddenly shows up to mess with Blake. We are thrown headfirst into this grandiose confrontation that I honestly wish the Writers had spent a little bit more time building up to. I knew it was going to happen at some point. I just wish it didn’t happen so soon after Team RWBY just reunited at the end of V5.

We barely got a full season of the girls rekindling their team dynamic; particularly Yang and Blake. Yang and Blake barely had time to truly recover from their prior two seasons of ups and downs before being tossed into the literal lion’s den.

If the Writers end up pandering more to the Bees in V7, I think it should be expected at this point anon-chan. If they did so in V6, it’s going to obviously continue into the next season. I don’t expect it to stop any time soon. Not when they can milk it for what it’s worth. Personally I don’t mind if the Writers plan on providing more great heartfelt character building moments between Yang and Blake unless it leads into their relationship being properly developed. That’s all.

If pandering is part of that then…okay,I guess? I just hope it’s not ALL of it. If Bumblebee is endgame and the show is serious about that then they need to stop puppeteering it around to tease those hungry and rather impressionable Beekeepers and actually focus on ensuring that the relationship is a well-written one. Pandering is not exactly development.

Another thing is that the Beekeepers kind need to tone down on taking everything that happens between Yang and Blake are a sign that they are canon. The lengths at which some of them reach to prove that their ship is canon is…wow, what a reach. I get that you guys want this to happen but for Pete’s sake, practice some patience why don’t you. I get that some of ya’ll are really eager and very passionate about this ship but Jeez Louis on cheese, wait for a clear defining moment that cannot be argued, please.

Let your Writers do your ship justice if they’re serious about it. Let them build upon it. Reinforce it. You can’t really complain too much about a romantic relationship that’s been developed properly. If the Writers do that well for V7 and onward—not really confirming the Bees but taking the time to show their bond progressing from close friendship to love before adding romance into the mix.

If the ship is developed well, I can’t have much complaints. I’m no tsure about you anon-chan.

What if they make Blake a full-on lesbian and make her and Yang kiss in front of Sun?

Yang and Blake kissing in front of Sun…I honestly hope it doesn’t happen because it’d be such a tasteless move; even for the show. Beyond that, I honestly don’t see Sun having a problem with Blake and Yang being a couple. While he might be surprised by it at first, it’s been established in V6 that Sun is only out for Blake’s best interest and overall happiness.

Sun Wukong cares more about Blake Belladonna as a person. As he told Neptune, his reasons for following her to Menagerie wasn’t out of a desire to make her his girlfriend or that she’d fall in love with him for it. He did it because he cared about Blake and wanted to genuinely help her get over her problems with Adam and rekindle her friendship with her team. That’s what was more important.

If Blake and Yang became a couple and Yang is shown to be the person that makes Blake happy then I can only see Sun being earnestly supportive of that; believe it or not.

I’ve said it before and I will reaffirm this. I cannot picture an envious Sun Wukong jealous of Blake’s relationship with Yang. It’s so uncharacteristic of Sun that it sounds nonsensical to even entertain the very thought. 

As a Sun fan, I would actually be more pissed at the Writers making Sun angry over Blake and Yang’s relationship overall than the action itself. 

Sun has always been one of the most supportive friends to Blake so he’d be happy for her even if she’s happy being with someone else and not him.  If Yang is the one who makes Blake happy then that’s all Sun would need to hear. That’s how this squiggle meister sees it.  

WHAT IF THEY MAKE EVERYONE IN THE SHOW LGBT!!!????

Uhmm…I think you need to give the Writers a notch more credit than that anon-chan. 

Just because they’re introducing more LGBT characters; particularly in the main cast doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to alienate their straight audience members. I don’t see them making everyone LGBT. 

There are characters within the series who were already confirmed to be straight (like Ren and Nora, Jaune, Pyrhha, Ozma, Neo, Qrow, Tai Yang and the list goes on). I’m sorry.  I just don’t see this being possible. I can see them adding more LGBT characters to the cast, but not every character in the show. That’s ludicrous!

The reason why we have more LGBT characters is to push for more representation of everyone regardless of gender, sexual orientation, culture, etc. RWBY has always been kind to include a plethora of diverse characters for fans to relate to. That’s one of the things that makes it such a good show. Making EVERYONE one thing, even if its LGBT, contradicts that.

I don’t see this being possible because I’d like to believe the show will always have that nice blend of characters that can appeal to any and everyone.

 I’m just a little worried that CRWBY is going to make the show more LGBT (Not that I hate LGBT even though I’m heterosexual, its just that there was too much in Volume6.

Uhmmmm…..the thing is anon-chan, inclusion is important.

But I also get what you’re trying to say. You’re not against more LGBT rep, you’re just concerned with the pandering aspect of it, right? The kind where the showrunners only shoehorn in these types of characters to push a certain agenda, steering focus towards these characters who aren’t written to be properly fleshed out characters with good stories but rather tokens to meet a certain quota and score those sweet brownie points with the queer community while alienating or downright changing pre-established characters to fit this new mould? Is that what you mean?

I don’t mind more LGBT rep in RWBY. That’s perfectly fine. Speaking mostly for mysef here, I like my LGBT characters the same way I like my straight characters. Well-written and properly fleshed out with good relatable stories and relationships that can appeal to anyone.

I’m not too big on characters who were originally introduced one way and then seasons later, we get the sudden reveal drop that this character is LGBT. I saw this kind of pandering in Voltron when the character of Shiro went several seasons with his past and previous close relationships (outside of Keith) never being an integral part of his arc. 

It was more tailored at characters like Lance and Pidge who were heavily family driven from S1 (which made the Hunk family focus in S7 so odd to me since Lance was the second character to think about his family next to Pidge buuuuut…I digress).

But suddenly in S7, the showrunners revealed at SDCC that Shiro was gay. They announced it at a con before we got the full reveal in the season. His former fiancé was named Adam. A love interest that prior to that season was never mentioned, teased or remotely made into a recurring aspect of Shiro’s story.

Shiro being LGBT was treated more as a marketing ploy for the folks behind Voltron to sponge off with the massive appeal it received from the queer community. However this also ended up backfiring and blowing up in the series’face when that very season showcased Adam—who was only brought in during S7 being killed off in that very same season. The audience was outraged by this and there was massive backlash (which led to some odd choices in S8).

This brings to light my issue with the way in which LGBT representation is handled by certain showrunners,in animation. I don’t think any kind of representation in media is something that should be pandered to. If straight characters are given the respect of being written well with the audience being allowed to buy into their stories and bonds on-screen then why shouldn’t the same treatment be done for LGBT character. In my experience, particularly for RWBY, the way in which the LGBT characters are revealed in the series often feels…forced.

Take for example; the recent reveal of Scarlet David of Team SSSN and Coco Adel of Team CFVY being dropped as queer characters. For Scarlet, it was done in the RWBY Red Like Roses Anthology and for Coco, it was in After the Fall. While I understand that the argument could be made that we never got those reveals in the main series since the show never took the time to really delve into these characters, that still doesn’t make it look less fishy, at least from my perspective.

I dunno. Because of my experience with the Voltron fandom, I get rather suspicious when showrunners suddenly spring the idea that a character is LGBT on its fans years after the series had been long-running, y’know what I mean?

Overall, I just don’t like it when the promise of more rep is used as a ploy to score points with a certain demographic when the attempt winds up feeling hollow and half-assed. 

Not trying to imply that this will be the fate of the Bees and/or LGBT rep in RWBY. I’m just saying, as far as Bumblebee goes, it needs to be handled much better than what we’ve seen in recent seasons.

For now, only time will tell with what happens next. For what it worth. I hope it’s good. 

Sorry for the long talk anon-chan (or to anyone who reads this post). As always, I hope that my thoughts and view points on this particular subject didn’t end  offending anyone in any shape or form.  I’m mostly expressing my honest views on this topic at hand and disrespect is never a direct intention regardless of how blunt my words can become at times/

Overall that’s all I have to say. Hope this answers you anon-chan.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019) 

[bittysvalentines]

Virtual Reality, Emphasis on Reality.

From: @omgnotanothercpblog

To: @aflailureandamasterpiece

“Please, Bitty?” Chowder was giving Bitty his best puppy dog eyes. Bitty never could resist that look, and Chowder knew it, damn it.

“I don’t know…” Bitty told him, and Chowder’s face lit up, sensing his victory. “I never play video games,” he added desperately.

“That’s exactly what we need. We already have people who know what they’re doing.”

Bitty folded his arms and gave Chowder an unimpressed look, but Chowder just grinned at him.

“We want to make sure a total noob can jump right in and start playing too.”

“With that kind of talk, I hope you aren’t on the sales team. ‘Total noob’,” Bitty muttered.

“I brought everything you need to play,” Chowder said, ignoring him. He held up a VR headset - a fancy one with attached headphones - and a thin pair of gloves. “It’s all set to connect, you just have to turn it on. After you put it on, of course.”

“You want me to do this right now?” Bitty eyed the equipment as if it was a poisonous snake. He didn’t have anything against it, it just wasn’t his cup of tea. No matter what Chowder said, it didn’t make sense that he and Dex wanted Bitty to test their new game.

“I want to get you started, that’s all. You don’t have to actually play it right now.” It was obvious from Chowder’s tone that he really wished Bitty would.

“And how is this different from regular VR?” Bitty asked as he pulled on the gloves.

“It’s like, the next level. Total virtual immersion. Or as close as we can get for now. Like the Matrix or OASIS in Ready Player One.” Chowder held out the headset for Bitty to take.

“I’m not one for science fiction, but even I know the Matrix is not a good thing.” Despite his words, Bitty put the headset on, leaving one ear uncovered so he could listen to Chowder’s instructions.

“Okay, there are two modes,” Chowder said as the visuals began to load. “There’s augmented reality where the game world overlays the real world. So your couch becomes the trunk of a fallen tree or something. You need some space for that because the game world is so extensive. I mean, there’s this quest where-”

“Chowder, honey, can we get back to my tutorial?”

Chowder cleared his throat. “Yeah, it’s just- It’s swawesome that it’s finally real, you know? Anyway, we also have what we’re calling autopilot mode, so you can explore the game world without needed too much actual movement. To switch it, you just have to...”

Chowder went on, but Bitty barely heard him, because he was standing at the edge of a dark and forbidding forest. The trees were literal works of art, realistic-looking, but not so realistic that his brain kept insisting something was off, the way CGI people made him feel. Bitty would swear he could hear birds chirping and insects buzzing. He adjusted the headset, muffling Chowder’s words. Yep, birdsong, bees, and a breeze ruffling the leaves on the trees.

“This is amazing,” he breathed.

~

Bitty found himself spending a lot of time trying out Quester’s Fate, Chowder and Dex’s game. Not so much for the gameplay - it was interesting, but that had never been his cup of tea - but for the wonderful world where it took place and the people he met there. He was sure there were players who liked to use the augmented reality version and roam around outside to complete their quests, but Bitty preferred the shared virtual world. It was easier after a long day spent on his feet.

Even though he wasn’t actually playing the game, he had explored the other things it had to offer - namely, he’d built his own shop. He’d gotten Chowder and Dex to help him to speed things along; he wasn’t a fool. Now he sold or traded items to fellows players to help them along on their quests - things that would refill their game energy or boost their game stats - or would let them customize their character. It was pretty entertaining when they thought he was an NPC (non-player character, he was slowly learning their language) at first because his skin wasn’t available in the game store. Perks of being friends with the game developers. Dex had even created an NPC to keep the shop running when he wasn’t playing. If Bitty had been charging real money, he’d be rolling in it.

Not long after he’d opened up his shop - only stocked with virtual fruit at that time - his first customer had come along. That was how he’d met Jack.

Bitty’s General Store was was in the middle of the forest, situated at the crossroads of several quest pathways. A player wearing the default skin had come walking along one of them, looking a little lost. He kept looking this way and that and consulting his quest map. Finally he spotted the store - and Bitty - and practically ran up to him.

“Hel-” Bitty began.

“Are you a real person? Can you help me?” the player said in a rush.

“I’m as real as anyone can be in here,” Bitty said. “What do you need, sugar?”

“Dieu merci! I don’t understand how this map works. How do I get it to show where I am? Where I’m supposed to go?” He thrust his map at Bitty and it disappeared as soon as he opened his hand.

“Well, first of all, my name is Bitty.” Bitty waited expectantly.

“Oh. Sorry. Jack.”

“Nice to meet you, Jack. Second, that map is yours . So you can’t hand it to me. Go ahead and open it up again.”

Jack swept his hand up, then poked the air in a specific spot. It never got old, watching other players waving their hands around while they interacted with menus that only they could see. The map reappeared.

“Now don’t let go,” Bitty said. He moved behind Jack and peered around his bicep (even in-game he was shorter than most of the other players, which somehow seemed unfair. Dex didn’t have to make his character that true to life). “It looks like you’re still in world view mode. Tap your quest icon, up in the right corner. That’ll show you things that are specific to your quest, including where you are and where you should be going.”

“Quest icon? What does it look like?”

“That depends on the quest you chose. This was all covered in the tutorial.”

“There’s a tutorial?”

“Now how on earth did you get this far without the tutorial?”

Jack dropped his hands and the map disappeared again. “It’s my friend Shitty’s account. He kind of…” He made a pushing motion with both hands. “He said I need to relax, or at least not focus so much on hoc- my job.”

“I supposed wandering around trying to figure out how this all works could be relaxing,” Bitty said doubtfully.

“He had to leave for a work emergency before he could show me very much.”

“Wait. Did you say your friend Shitty, or did you mean your shitty friend? Because only one of those makes sense to me, and it’s not the first one.”

“Shitty’s his nickname. He likes it better than his real name.” Jack brought up his map yet again. “Quest icon, right?”

Bitty could take a hint and let the subject drop. “Did you even choose a quest? Considering you managed to skip all the basics.”

“Yes. Uh, I think so? Yes.”

“Well, that’s something, anyway. Let’s get you started from the beginning, all right, sugar?”

“Okay?” Jack didn’t seem too sure about continuing to play the game, but he was already there, and Bitty felt he owed it to Chowder and Dex to make sure he had a positive experience after such a rough start. Bitty showed him how to start the tutorial and left him to it, though he did stay close, rearranging a nearby display of apples, just in case Jack had any questions.

“Okay, I think I got it,” Jack said eventually. “I have to go…” He looked at his map and then at the numerous paths. “That way.” He pointed at one of the trails.

“Oh, the Glass Mountain quest. That’s a good one for someone just starting out. Here, take these apples.” Bitty held out a sack. “They refill your character’s health bar. You’ll need them.”

Jack stared at the sack. “How do I accept them? It wasn’t very clear in the tutorial.”

“Just reach out your hand. Once you’re close enough, the game’ll ask if you want to accept or reject the item.”

Jack reached out and the sack disappeared. Then he stood there, looking uncertain. “I suppose I should… go?”

“The princess is waiting,” Bitty said with an encouraging smile.

“Are you sure she’s not in another castle?” Jack asked expectantly.

“No? That’s not how that quest goes.”

Jack’s shoulders slumped. “That’s not...” He shook his head. “Oh, um, payment? For the apples?”

“Don’t you worry about that, sugar. They’re a gift for being my first customer.”

“Oh, okay. Um, bye then.”

“Bye, Jack. I hope to see you again. You can tell me how you did on your quest.”

Jack nodded and off he went. Bitty hoped he would come back. He didn’t think he’d ever met someone who knew even less than he did about playing video games; Jack’s cluelessness was a little adorable. He wondered briefly what Jack looked like in real life, but he buried that thought quickly. Sure, Jack seemed nice. Friendly. Willing to learn from someone shorter than him (which was surprisingly a problem for some players, Bitty didn’t understand it). None of that meant anything. Bitty wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. He probably wouldn’t ever see Jack again anyway.

~

Jack came back.

Not right away, but he did, and he kept coming back, showing up when Bitty was in-game at least once a week. Jack had gotten his own account, though he’d kept the default skin. At first, he would talk to Bitty for a few minutes before going off on one of the quests, but eventually he was sticking around longer and longer until Bitty suspected he’d given up on actually playing the game. Not that Bitty was one to judge, since he’d given up on doing that almost immediately. He used the virtual world as a distraction, something to do when he was too tired to do anything else and it was too early to go to bed, or when he needed the company of others and his friends were otherwise occupied.

Bitty enjoyed talking to Jack, and Jack didn’t seem to mind that Bitty was doing most of the talking. They would discuss work and their friends and family and Bitty’s dream job (because it sounded like Jack had his, lucky devil) and so many random topics that it amazed him that Jack kept coming around. Bitty found himself looking forward to their weekly chats more and more.

Shoot. He’d gone and done it - he’d fallen for Jack.

~

“Please, Bitty?” Dex wasn’t as good as Chowder at the puppy dog eyes, but he was giving him a run for his money.

“Dex, you don’t have to talk me into coming to your big celebration, silly goose.”

Dex grinned. “Chowder told me to do that. But also, we’re having it catered.” He winced, waiting for Bitty’s reaction.

“I would assume so. You’re bringing that up because…”

“They specialize in pies for dessert. Sorry, Bitty. We had to pick a couple for them to serve.”

“I see.”

“They won’t be as good as yours,” Dex insisted.

“Well of course they won’t,” Bitty replied automatically. “I don’t know, William. I don’t think I could come to your party now that I know you’re cheating on me with other pies.” He pressed his lips together to hold back a smile.

Dex’s eyes widened. “You don’t-”

Bitty burst out laughing. “My word, your face! Like I wouldn’t show up because of a little thing like that. Bless your heart, you should know I was going to bake pies for you and Chowder as a gift anyway.”

Dex rubbed the back of his neck and laughed. “Thanks, Bitty. I just didn’t want you to think, I don’t know, that we didn’t prefer your baking or something.”

“It’s not like I’m in a position to make pies for such a big do. Don’t worry your head about it.”

“So we’ll see you there?”

“Do you really need to ask? You couldn’t keep me away, mister.”

~

Dex and Chowder were having a party for two reasons - it was the one-year anniversary of their company, Two Frogs, and Quester’s Fate had become the #1 best-selling VR game in the country. It was an amazing achievement, and Bitty was proud to be a small part of that. He didn’t even mind very much that he had to miss his and Jack’s weekly chat. Bitty had sent him a PM through the game’s messaging system to let him know he wouldn’t be there.

Chowder introduced him to Caitlin Farmer, a young lady he’d met while testing out the game in its early stages. Apparently, he’d mowed her down when he hadn’t seen her due to a glitch and the apology coffee he’d bought for her had led to several coffee dates and then a relationship. They were adorable together.

Dex hadn’t brought anyone, but he was mighty interested in Derek Nurse, a local celebrity who was in attendance for some reason. He kept sneaking glances at him, only to look away quickly whenever Derek looked in his direction and Derek was doing the same. Wasn’t that interesting?

It was Dex who introduced him to Larissa Duan, the artist who had designed the backgrounds used in the game.

“Ms. Duan, let me tell you how beautiful your work is. It’s just breathtaking,” Bitty told her as they shook hands.

“Thank you. Please, call me Larissa. They turned out all right, I think. I’m an abstract artist normally, but I wanted to challenge myself, work outside my comfort zone.”

“Well, I’m glad you did, and I’m sure De- Will and Chris are, too.”

A man with an impressive mustache and long hair pulled back in a ponytail came up to them. “Lardo! Love of my life! I’ve found you,” he cried and handed her a drink.

“Cool it, Shitty, he’s not hitting on me,” Larissa said.

“I didn’t think he was,” Shitty replied. “I missed you, that’s all.”

Larissa’s face went a little pink and she gave him a tiny smile. “You were gone for two minutes.”

Wait-

“Shitty? Jack’s Shitty?” Bitty asked without thinking.

“You know Jack? Oh!” Shitty turned and waved at someone across the room. “Jack! I think I found your friend!”

Bitty’s face burned. Jack? Jack was here? He was going to meet Jack? Was he ready for this? They’d never even talked about meeting in real life. What should he do?

A familiar-looking man with dark hair was walking toward them. Bitty considered running away, but that would be too rude. It looked like he was going to meet Jack, ready or not.

He thought back to their long discussions, to the kind of person Jack seemed to be. Bitty decided he was ready.

Jack got closer and Bitty had to catch his breath. Jack was handsome. No, that word was too bland. Jack was gorgeous . Lord, those eyes . He could only hope Jack wasn’t disappointed in the real him.

Then Jack was standing in front of him and Bitty forgot to breathe.

“Bits,” Jack said, and yes, that was his voice. Bitty was going to swoon like a debutante in a corset in the middle of July.

“Jack,” Bitty said faintly. “How-”

“Your message said you were coming to the party, and I was already planning to come so I thought it might be okay? To meet, I mean.”

“Yes, but-”

“Bitty, I see you’ve met Jack Zimmermann,” Dex said, appearing out of nowhere. “He’s one of our major backers.”

Jack smiled. “Lardo made me do it,” he said with a fond look at her.

“Jack Zimmermann? The hockey player?” Bitty was getting light-headed from all the revelations. No wonder Jack had seemed familiar. He shouldn’t have - he looked nothing like the default skin he used in Quester’s Fate. “Any other surprises? Is Beyonce here too?”

Dex laughed. “I’d definitely warn you first.”

“Is this okay?” Jack asked. He reached out and took Bitty’s hand. “I really wanted to meet you, but if you-”

“This is more than okay, Jack. This is wonderful.”

[secretgamergirl]

I hate that I hate MMORPGs.

Yesterday, on kind of a whim, I installed an MMORPG and played it for a couple hours, and I had the exact same miserable experience I always do, for the exact same reasons. Basically, everyone who has ever designed one of these suckers (with maybe a few rare exceptions) just fundamentally does not understand and actively undermines the appeal.

I’m not going to sit down and go through Richard Bartle’s whole player classification system, but personally, here’s some things I look for in a game, in general, and an RPG in particular:

I want to engage with fun moment to moment game mechanics.

I want to hang out and socialize with some friends for a bit.

I want to get lost in a character.

I want to go on some cool heroic quest.

I want to explore a world.

That last one is the only one I’ve ever really gotten out of an MMO, and honestly I’m really being charitable and only listing it so I can’t say things fail on every level.

Really though, an RPG can mean one of several different sorts of games.

We’ve got the traditional pen and paper sort. Maybe the mechanics are neat? Rolling dice is kind of fun in and of itself, I can usually improvise cool stuff to do, that’s fun. I definitely get to hang out with friends, since the game really can’t happen without a consistent group meeting up once a week or so and all. The sky’s pretty much the limit on character creation and depending on the group I can go fully in character all night, great. There’s a one-off cool big quest we’re all going on that’s just for us, rad. Probably some interesting stuff going on setting wise, but that depends.

If I’m playing an old school console RPG... I definitely get my big epic quest on, probably in a cool setting, the basic gameplay.... I personally kinda tend to like in a comfort food sort of way, but really as video games go it’s pretty lacking. And there’s no real getting lost in a character or any socialization at all.

And then of course there’s big open world games where I can probably lose myself in a character even without socialization because such games usually put way more emphasis on customizing your character and personal style stuff than anything, and be pretty aimless.

Now, MMOs tend to suck at, again, basically all of this. The basic game mechanics always tend to suck because, well, it’s massively multiplayer. There’s a bunch of other people, likely on garbage internet connections, people coming and going, people playing once a week for an hour, people playing every waking moment. So anything timing dependent is kinda shot and anything really competitive won’t work, and I mean there’s room to innovate, but you’re always going to be less appealing than games that don’t have those concerns.

Hanging out with my friends... there’s a few issues here and I’m going to revisit this point, but I think it’s important to stress that I AM NEVER GOING TO BRING MY OWN FRIENDS IN. When I can get all my friends together to play a game, we’re going for traditional pen and paper RPGs. That’s hard enough to schedule and we aren’t going to double up. I want to make friends in the game and hang out with them. And I mean, one of the big barriers to that is how scattershot the scheduling is. There’s a few easy ways I can think of to either determine which players are on the same schedule or to just ask upfront in some preferences panel, and just kinda consistently throw people together, but, I’ve never seen anyone really try for it.

Now, getting lost in a character and going on a big epic quest are... kinda tied together here. There’s a trend I think started with WoW, where MMOs are written with stories that would work just fine in a singleplayer game. I’m the big chosen hero from this tiny little village that maybe burned down, and I need to go tour the world and eventually go confront a big evil villain or 10.

But the thing is, everyone else around me is also the chosen hero, from the same tiny little village, with the same tragic backstory, pursuing the same subquests, facing the same villlains... who repop after for the next person. That just... doesn’t work. I can’t get lost in my character when everything the game is giving me to work with is also being given to everyone else. We all canonically have the same backstory and goals...

... and that’s not even getting into the MMO loop! In literally every single one of these games I’ve ever played, you start in area A, you do a bunch of filler quests for the NPCs who live there, they reward you, piecemeal, with a new equipment set, you put that on, you get sent to area B, and you just kinda meander through the whole world like that.

So essentially what happens here is that not only is everyone running through the same story, but time and space are interconnected in such a way that at any given point, all the people you can see are on the same story beat you are. That can be handy if you’re really trying to encourage partying up I guess, but it really just exacerbates the issue of everyone playing essentially the same character. I came here on Farmer Brown from Easterdale’s suggestion and I’m helping kill these bees. Which Farmer Brown also suggested to these other dozen people. Who are all dressed exactly like me, with the clothes they got from everyone else in Easterdale (except all the guys get full outfits while me and all the other women are in a bikini variation).

What am I supposed to talk to these people about? There’s immediate mechanical issues like, well, ��want to party up to grind these bees faster?” but that’s really about it. And if I do meet someone who seems cool and want to hang out, it’s inherently fleeting. Because unless we happen to be putting in the EXACT same amount of play time, we’re going to drift apart. If you go to dinner and I keep playing for another hour, I’m a town or two ahead of you on the treadmill, we’re never going to see each other again.

Plus I mean, “I want to walk through a progression of wide fields slaughtering the same monster 20 times to earn a pair of shoes” is decidedly NOT on the list of things I want to do.

One way to get around this, which I have fuzzy memories was actually done by D&D Online, is to really formalize adventures into these discrete events you enter as a member of a party and complete together in a sitting. Desyncing still happens, but for a given play session you at least have a proper social experience instead of the standard one where you’re just talking to the people ahead or behind you on the minigolf course as someone waits for a hole to clear.

Here’s my thing though. I don’t honestly particularly WANT the big epic world-spanning quest. I seriously have hundreds of single-player RPGs to scratch that itch, and trying to match pace with other people just makes it stressful or obligatory. I want to hang out with a character and bounce off people. I don’t want to be an eternal wanderer touring the world, really. I want to find a cool place, settle in, and be a local. Have some neighbors. We have our own stuff going on. It’s nice to stop at the tavern now and then and catch up. Or maybe I run the tavern. Maybe there’s some regulars, some people stopping by as they pass through.

Setting things up to encourage this sort of thing can even involve less work than the traditional route. If you want people to generally stick around the same areas and keep bumping into each other, for, you know, the whole social aspect of things, you inherently need less sprawling map and monster designs. Just a couple cool cities worth hanging out in and the roads between them.

Just... have different goals to pursue, with different mission chains. They don’t even have to be super unique. If someone wants to get the master beast hunter achievement, killing every monster in the world, they don’t need a lot of writing. If someone wants to just run a cool tavern, all you need are some gather rare ingredients quests, and some kind of simple archetectural/business management bit of gameplay to focus on instead of the crappy combat. Maybe organically encourage interactions like when I order all this rare spiced rum to put on my menu it generates a caravan escort quest for someone else to get it to me.

Also let everyone play dressup right form the start! Don’t force everyone with the same time on the clock to wear the exact same shirt/bikini  top.

[itsbenedict]

Kingdoms and Koopas: Ep. 3

K&K is a Fate Accelerated campaign set in the Mario universe, which I’m running for three players:

Bee @thebeeskneesocks​, playing Kandace Koopa

Jovian @jovian12​, playing Cozmo Naut

Malky @sleepdepravity​, playing Dr. Chevy Chain

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Previously on Kingdoms and Koopas: the party disturbed the restless dead, including Kandace’s gym coach, and managed to retrieve the Music Key from the Heart of Darkness. Then they tried teleporting out, and found themselves... out, but surrounded by hostile Koopalings. Whoops! They should probably do something about that.

(pictured: maps! of the Koopa Kingdom capital, Bowserburg Shellington New Bowseria Whatever It’s Called Today. above, and below.)

So, to recap their predicament in a little more detail, their teleport took them to the cloud of a Lakitu, who, upon suffering the effects of the Vacuum Shroom toxin they teleported into his cloud, proclaimed himself “the Storm God” and began terrorizing his fellow students. At least, until Kandace cast a spell to make them heavy and sink down into the fountain below, where it all got washed out and they all return to normal.

To normal, except they’re in this big indoor courtyard foyer thing, and they’re surrounded by five of the seven Koopalings. And... see, the Koopalings attend Kam Ekademy, the school across the street from Kammy Koopa’s Academy For Young Witches and Wizards. These two schools... have something of a rivalry. And a rivalry between two magic schools populated by irresponsible troublemakers... it’s more of a prank war type of deal. And wouldn’t you know it- the party contains a Kammy’s student!

Chevy, as usual, attempts to just roll the fuck outta there, but, uh... well, Kamek’s school uniforms are blue, and Kammy’s school uniforms are purple. And Chevy is purple, and seemingly with Kandace, and so the Koopalings jump to conclusions. “The Skammies are trying to escape!” Lemmy yells.

So... Roy is the first to act, firing a cannonball at Chevy. The way the rolls go, though... I guess Roy’s cannon is no match for a charging chain chomp, and it glances right off. Morton tries to stop her, too, and manages a little better- they tie, and Chevy manages to shove him to the doorway but not out. Cozmo tries to follow Chevy’s lead, doing the standard-issue X-Naut bum-rush. Lemmy tries to roll over to block him, but again the rolls are not in his favor, and Cozmo just knocks the ball out from under him and charges past. Kandace also attempts to flee, and also shout taunts at the Koopalings, but Ludwig grabs at her broom. And... just gets a handful of bristles as she speeds away. Larry tries shooting spells at them from the second-floor railing, but misses.

So as they get out the front door of Kam Ekademy, they’re attacked from behind as Wendy O. throws a ring at them from the balcony above the door. She also misses, though, and Kandace fires back with her heaviness spell, targeted at Wendy O.’s bow- causing her to lose her balance and fall off the balcony. The lot of them proceed down the front path... only to be blocked by Iggy, the final obstacle! Who... also misses, and knocks some of the pursuing Koopalings back a bit with the stray blast. They breeze right past him.

As they leave by the front gate (which the Koopalings aren’t allowed to pass out through, as school is in session), a “psst” gets their attention. Kandace recognizes the source of the voice as that shifty junk dealer that tries to sell useless crap to the kids at Kammy’s at a huge markup- looks like he also hangs around by the Ekademy.

Cozmo does not recognize that this brown Shy Guy in a trenchcoat, wearing an enormous fake mustache, is actually his boss, Shady Guy.

Chevy, with no patience for this, takes off for the hospital, but Cozmo and Kandace check out Shady Guy’s Deals Guy’s wares. There’s some weird yellow mushrooms, green dried shrooms, some weird little metal thing that he calls a “good’un” (or “G’un”), a ratty old umbrellla, and... ooh, a collapsible stunt bike!

Before buying anything, though, Kandace gets suspicious, and tears off Deals Guy’s mustache- revealing that it was, in fact, Shady Guy all along! Shady Guy tries to snatch it back, but fails- and Kandace ransoms it back in exchange for the bike. Hooray for robbery! Good thing there’s no way Shady Guy would ever go to the police about this. Cozmo gets the bike, and excitedly heads home.

Kandace returns to Kammy’s, Music Key in hand. On the way, though, she encounters... the hooded figure with the pink beak. It gestures for her to hand over the Music Key, but Kandace is suspicious. She instead insists that it escort her to Kammy personally, at which it balks, but ultimately agrees. Or, pretends to- as they’re almost there, it attempts to snatch the Music Key but fails. (Kandace cast a spell that creates a protective but freezing-cold ice bubble, before it could get her.) Kandace, vindicated in her suspicions, hamster-ball-rolls into the school and heads to Kammy’s office.

Kammy, for her part, seems surprised and slightly distressed that Kandace has returned with the Key successfully, and that it wasn’t somehow stolen from her. Odd, that. She weasels out of her promise to hand over a magic item from her treasure vault- modifying clarifying the terms of the deal such that, okay, it’s one magic item per orb for whoever turns it in, so four total- but they’re only handed out once all the Music Keys have been collected. So... Kandace better get back to work finding the rest!

Kandace isn’t happy about this, but whatever- she’s guaranteed at least one, as long as Kammy gets all the Music Keys, so if she can find the rest, cool beans.

And... cut to black, because we’re moving to the next day. Cozmo has decided to take his new collapsible stunt bike out for a spin at Plumber’s Folly, one of those incredibly deadly natural obstacle courses that occur in this neck of the woods. Kind of a companion to The Part That’s Supposed To Stop Mario But Doesn’t. Anyway, uh... Cozmo finds out the hard way that the collapsible bike “purchased” from Deals Guy has the emphasis on “collapsible”. It breaks underneath him and sends him flying into a lake of lava, causing his lives to go down from 3 to 2 and landing him with severe injuries back on shore.

He’s found by Party Guy, his direct superior at the talent agency. Shady Guy owns Shady Guy’s Talent Agency, but doesn’t do much management- that end of things is left to this clown. This literal clown, a guy who’s attended every Mario Party and knows how to have a good time. He takes Cozmo back up the hill to the talent agency, but Shady Guy calls him inside to deal with something urgent, and he leaves Cozmo on the ground after calling Kandace to come pick him up.

Kandace finds her way down past the Koopa Katacombs (think the ones in Paris, except it’s just sort of an underground apartment district for Dry Bones), and the Cavern of Gratuitous Spiky Peril, which she’s able to just ride her broom over. She picks up Cozmo and takes him to the hospital, where Chevy reluctantly patches him up again. 

...Oh, while they’re in the waiting room there, Kandace and Cozmo overhear- from a heavily-injured superhero wannabe Pokey named Pokey Man, who works for Shady Guy’s Talent Agency- that the boss was seen carrying a shiny orb into Plumber’s Folly. Weird!

Anyway, Chevy decides that she needs to see Cozmo’s place of work, and find out what conditions are like there. There has to be some reason this guy keeps getting horribly injured! So... they decide to take what should be a shortcut, since the Cavern of Gratuitously Spiky Peril is harder to navigate with three to a broom. They take the underground below the hospital, and find... one small tunnel, and one big tunnel. The big tunnel has a broken bridge, though, so they can’t go that way at this point in the plot. They take the small tunnel...

...Which suffers a cave-in, due to the fact that I came up with it just then as a way for them to bypass certain obstacles I hadn’t finished setting up on the real path. So they won’t be using that one again. But they escape the cave-in, by running really fast in a panic, and arrive at the big cavern where Shady Guy’s Talent Agency is situated.

Cozmo decides to take them on a tour! Weirdly, the receptionist, Goomfried, is absent- but there’s a lot of noise coming from the dance room. They go check that out, and find... well, as usual, a particular couple new recruits are there. This guy Mike, some kind of robot, is DJing, and Jamie Thang is cutting a rug like there’s no tomorrow. Or, well- there’s no rug, it’s one of those light-up colored grid floor things, but you get the idea.

Also in the room is Party Guy, talking to... incredibly famous Mushroom Kingdom actor/director Zip Toad! Apparently the talent agency finally has an actual client! Zip Toad, who we decide sounds like Tommy Wiseau (because Party Guy and Cozmo are already sharing the surfer dude/stoner type accent), is looking for stunt talent for his new film. Cozmo’s eager to show off, so Zip Toad, Party Guy, and the party head off to Plumber’s Folly for Cozmo to show off.

Cozmo makes two rolls, here. One roll is with +Flashy, to see how totally sick his stunting is. The other roll is +Careful, to see whether he sticks the landing and doesn’t wipe out on the Plumber’s Folly hazards.

Cozmo’s Flashy is +3. His Careful is +0. The outcomes of these rolls are exactly as you might predict.

So, Chevy has unraveled the mystery of why Cozmo is getting injured so often. It’s because he goes out of his way to do the most dangerous possible things, all the time! Wow! The case is closed. She goes down to try and peel Cozmo off the spike wall he impaled himself on, while Kandace...

Kandace has that magical ability to sort of sense the direction of nearby Music Keys, and... huh! Seems like there’s one down, down deep in Plumber’s Folly! Weird. So, of course, she heads right inside, heedless of the dangers. And then... oh, boy. Oh, boy, the dangers. A wall of rock cuts her off from the others, and then more walls of rock erupt from the ground and knock everyone else off their feet! The party and company begin to tumble down into the depths of World 9-5. Next time: we’ll see how well the party manages doing plumber’s work!

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[perpetually-jungshook]

All that Glitters is Gold(ilocks)

Genre: humor, smut (literally a pwp), emphasis on H U M O R ☀️

Summary: I REPENT OKAY? FIRST TIME WITH GOLDILOCKS TAE, request|s

characters based on the Goldilocks series

Warnings: oral sex, penetration, also some shenanigans with a window

Word Count: 4.2k

“Harder, Taehyung,” your voice is shaky with effort. “Push harder.”

“Baby, I’m trying okay?”

“It’s not going in. Obviously you’re not trying hard enough.”

He pouts, sweat building on his hairline, “It’s not my fault the hole is so small. Wah. N-now it’s stuck.”

Letting out a loud puff, you lean against the window frame, “I just want to know why the hell you popped the damn screen but didn’t even consider figuring out how to put it back in first.”

Taehyung laughs breathily, “I didn’t think it’d be this difficult.”

“What were you even doing?” you ask, amused.

Taehyung jiggles the window screen, dislodging it and setting it on the ground outside. He takes a deep breath, “You want the truth?”

“No. I asked so you’d lie to me.”

He smirks, but then giggles, “I was letting out a bee.”

You deadpan, “Letting out… a what?”

“A bee. It was stuck in the window.”

Already knowing he wouldn’t have killed it, you run your fingers through your hair, reach through the gaping hole that is now the window frame, and give Taehyung a playful shove, “You couldn’t grab a cup or something?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he gives you a guilty, boxy smile. “I guess I didn’t think about it.”

You tap the tip of his nose, “No, you didn’t. And now we’ve broken the window.”

“It’s not broken. Just disassembled. Besides, we can always ask Jimin to fix it when he gets home.”

“Speaking of which, we should totally drink the last of the marshmallow hot chocolate before he does so we don’t have to share.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion.”

Taehyung arches an eyebrow, voice getting mischievously quiet, “Oh, so we’re treating ourselves?”

You lean forward on the windowsill, folding your arms on it. It’s overcast, just a few vividly visible rays of sunshine break through the blanket of clouds. One of these beams of soft light would ideally land on Taehyung, making his golden, rosy cheeks glow, and a gust of wind would thread through his hair, guiding that familiar musky pine scent to your olfactory system.

But no. The air is heavy with a potential storm on the horizon and everything around you is cast in a muted grayscale. Good thing you don’t actually care.

“Sure, we’ll be home alone for a while…”

Taehyung leans against the windowsill so that he’s eye level with you, arms brushing yours, tongue teasingly flicking across his lips, “So we could drink marshmallow hot chocolate… snuggle into some blankets… get each other off… watch a movie- I mean the possibilities are endless.”

You immediately pick up on that hidden message, smirking, “Get each other off?”

He bounces onto his toes, lips grazing your cheek to whisper teasingly, “That sounds like a fantastic option and I’m glad you suggested it.”

You want to slap your forehead, but you settle with a nip to his ear, “You’re right. I am pretty brilliant.”

“Are you?” Taehyung pulls back slightly, pressing a playfully quick kiss to your lips. “I thought I was the brilliant one.”

Before he can draw away, you lace your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, leaning further out of the window until it digs into your tummy. But the small amount of pain is worth it as you meet his velvety-

“Ow! What the fuck, babe?” you almost fall over as he tries to drag you outside, over the hard edge of the windowsill.

Laughing, Taehyung lifts you enough so that your feet return to the carpet, “Sorry~ I was getting impatient and wanted to hug you.”

“Hug me? That’s a weak excuse and you know it,” you flick his forehead, yet aren’t even remotely angry.

“Wah, screw the window. Meet me in the kitchen.”

“The kitchen?”

Taehyung pauses, jabbing his finger over his shoulder, “Yeah? To make hot chocolate? And probably make out afterward?”

You hum thoughtfully, “Okay but listen, while marshmallow hot chocolate flavored kisses sound great, maybe we skip the kitchen and just get right to the making out part?”

Taehyung’s smile brightens, eyebrows wiggling suggestively, “Never mind. I knew you were the smart one. Close the window and I’ll come inside.”

“You’ll be coming somewhere alright,” you smirk.

“Fuck,” he says humorously, chewing on his lower lip for a moment as he backs away to maintain eye contact. “I knew you were my best friend for a reason.”

By the time you pull yourself back through the window and close it, Taehyung, panting slightly, jogs into the room and slams into you, pressing you against the cold glass. His lips attach to your neck, pressing wet, open mouthed kisses along the skin.

You let out a contented sigh, ”Good to know I'm not the only horny one.”

Taehyung lets out an amused hum, "Baby, what are you talking about? I'm always horny.”

He playfully licks up your neck and you shove him away, laughing, "Um ew? What did I tell you about using tongue like that?”

"Don't unless I'm doing it to your lady flower?” He takes a step closer.

"Kim Taehyung-! Wait, my lady flower? What the hell is that?”

"Have you ever looked at a vagina?” Another step.

“Not extensively?"

"But you have one…"

“Babe, I don't spend my free time holding up mirrors to look at my cunt.”

“Well anyway, I can't stand the word 'pussy.' It's like... gross and cringey. And who decided to call it a vagina?" He idly presses a kiss to your jaw line as you let him lean against you again, "That's such an ugly word for such a pretty piece of anatomy.”

You try to hold back a laugh, ”You’re ruining the mood. So if you want your dick sucked, stop talking.”

Pause.

"Wait you're gonna suck it this time-?”

"Okay I've changed my mind.”

“Wait."

"Nope you talked.”

"But baby..." Taehyung pushes out his lower lip and brushes his nose against your cheek, nuzzling lightly.

"No butts," you tease, "I haven't even had sex yet, how could you suggest I do anal?”

He pauses, stiffening momentarily before giggling, voice becoming intimately quiet, deep, "I mean... we could always change that whole virginity thing... but I'm okay with fingers and mouths if you are."

You watch him carefully. Taehyung always looks like he’s about to have a laugh, whether from amusement or at your expense you’re not sure. No, wait. He’s not a bad person. There’s not a mean bone in his- well, okay, he can be a rotten trickster, but Kim Taehyung is anything except cruel. So is he offering to take your virginity? Or is it a harmless joke?

The two of you have fooled around before. A dozen times or so. You’ve jerked him off, he’s fingered you, and he’s eaten you out, but the two of you have never gone beyond that. You and Taehyung are friends with benefits. You’re both completely okay with that. And you doubt sex would change anything. So… why not?

You shrug, “You wanna do the dirty? I’m down.”

He backs up a bit, eyes wide, “Wait what?”

“You heard what I said. Let’s have sex.”

Taehyung snorts, failing to hide a smile, “And the award for discreteness, eloquence, and sensuousness goes to…”

You cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him forward into a kiss. It’s sloppy and meant to distract him, so you add a bit more teeth and tongue than necessary. It only takes a few seconds for him to guide you away from the window and over to the bed.

With a light push to your shoulders, you fall back onto the mattress and Taehyung stands over you, crossing his arms.

“Okay, first things first. Do I have to use a condom?”

“Yes”

“Alright,” he winks cheekily, pulling one out of his back pocket and wiggling it.

“You just… happen to have that on you?”

“Hey, you never know when a pretty girl will show up ready to fuck.”

“When does that ever happen?”

Taehyung gestures around, a smug smile on his face, “Like now?”

“Touché.”

“Great! So protection is taken care of. Also, are you sure-?”

You groan, tugging at his pants, “Babe really?”

Taehyung takes your hands turning them palm up to comfortingly massage them, “Look, I know I joke around a lot, but I want this to actually be special for you, okay?”

You arch an eyebrow, “Was your first time ‘special?’”

“Nope. I lost mine at Jimin’s sixteenth birthday party. I remember about twenty percent of it. Like I stuck it in and boom blank. Nothing,” Taehyung laughs, scrunching his nose. “We’re not making that mistake for you. It’s going to be pleasant and relaxing and-”

“And apparently it’s gonna take forever,” you laugh, falling back to lie on the bed, knees bent, feet hanging off the end.

Taehyung shakes his head, obviously amused, “I can’t believe you’re not nervous about this.”

“Why would I be? I’ve seen your dick, my hymen is already broken, and I trust you.”

He purses his lips, then nods, smiling easily again, “Good point. Help me get your pants off.”

Within thirty seconds, you’re lying back on the bed in nothing but your bra and underwear while Taehyung, now shirtless, shimmies out of his shorts and tosses a bottle of lube onto the bed beside you. You scoot back against the pillows, waiting not so patiently, as he crawls onto the mattress, smiling mischievously. Spreading your legs a bit for him to settle down comfortably between them, reaching up to push your fingers through his messy hair, you feel your heart start to fluter with excitement.

Taehyung leans forward, giving you a soft kiss. Yeah, you’ll have none of that. A quick nip to his bottom lip tells him what kind of mood you’re in. And at this point, you come to a decision. You’d rather have rough, non-penetration sex than have Taehyung treat you like a delicate flower.

His body responds immediately to the little bite, tongue piercing through the seam of your lips. Obviously, you don’t try to stop it. Instead, you push yours forward to meet him, feeling Taehyung smile as he probably figures out you’re teasing him. A small pinch to your hip makes you yelp in surprise, laughter lacing the noise. You give his back a playful slap, but he only uses it as a catalyst to let out a long, loud groan, a noise that runs straight to the pit of your stomach in a flood of heat.

Knowing Taehyung, it was definitely on purpose.

One of his hands, the one that pinched you, slides up your body, groping your breasts over your bra. Ah, of course. Classic Taehyung. He squeezes, lips traveling to your jaw and neck. To encourage him, you slowly lift your hips to push against him, already feeling his half-hard arousal through his boxers.

He groans again, rolling against you slightly. The sensation sends a pleasant shiver through your body and you reward him by running your nails up his back. Honestly, you’d love for him to dry hump you into bliss- it’s a thought that has occupied your mind since your first wet dream about your friend- but that’s for another day. Hopefully.

To encourage Taehyung further, you reach down and palm him with a teasingly snide, “Oh, so I’m losing my virginity but I’m gonna be doing all the work?”

“No…” he whines playfully. You can feel the smile against your skin as he continues to press kisses along your neck, then moving to your collar bones. It’s a simple matter to arch your back against him, giving Taehyung the silent permission he needs to rid you of your pesky bra. It takes less than two seconds for him to put that oral fixation to good use.

Your next breath is shaky as his tongue works diligently over your nipple, a misty feeling of pleasure washing over you. He switches breasts, this time adding small nibbles as one of his hands travels to push down the waistband of his boxers.

There’s no reason to lie. Taehyung’s dick is average. Maybe. It’s really the only dick you’ve ever seen outside of a porn video, but you’d looked it up and Google agrees one should expect about five inches. You’ve also never held up a ruler to Taehyung’s dick (not that he wouldn’t let you if you ask nicely), but eyeballing it… it’s probably about five and a half inches when erect. Nothing too special. It’s not even “your dick” in the romantically, playfully possessive meaning of the phrase.

Nevertheless, it’s going to be the first one you’re going to put inside of you and that’s cool. Yup. Totally cool.

Taehyung unabashedly starts stroking himself, motions quick and precise with practiced ease. He releases your breast from his mouth with a wet ‘pop’ to explain with a smirk, “Nothing really new yet. We just gotta get both of us worked up enough to-”

You cut him off with another light smack and a laugh, “What is this? Explicit National Geographic?”

He presses a kiss to your neck, giggling, “I’ve always told you what I’m doing. Remember? I’m supposed to be teaching you.”

“Could we just pretend I’m a kinesthetic learner for a little while?”

Taehyung sighs comically, dropping his head in the crook of your neck, “Okay, okay. Just tell me if anything hurts or if you need me to stop, hmm?”

You nod desperately, lifting your hips to brush against him, the material of your underwear being the only barrier. It’s frustrating. Taehyung has always been one to “grab life by the balls and think about consequences later” but of course he’s got to be careful when it matters most. Damn him for being a good person.

“I need an answer out loud-”

“I hear you loud and clear. Now put your dick in me.”

He giggles, “Ever the romantic one.”

“I swear, if you make me regret asking you to-”

You cut yourself off as he shuffles down, prying your knees apart and kissing your inner thigh. The smug smirk on his face says enough in response. He kisses you again, this time poking out his tongue and dragging just the tip of the warm, wet muscle all the way to the apex of your thighs. You shiver as he finds your entrance. Taehyung probes around, pulling little sighs and quiet whines from your mouth.

“Babe, more…”

He gives you an acknowledging hum, running his hands up your thighs to spread them wider. He pulls back a bit, reaching for the lube and squirting a generous amount on his fingers, spreading it around as he descends back to kiss your entrance. With his clean hand, he parts your folds, making room for his tongue in other, better places. It takes a lot of concentration and willpower for you to keep your legs in place and not instinctively try to choke him. Your hands close around two fistfuls of sheets, but as he sucks and laves it's not enough.

Your next choice is lacing your fingers through his hair, tugging and pulling in hopes of giving him some stimulation too, even if you can't reach where he probably needs you most. Taehyung groans against you, causing a pleasant shudder to run up your spine. Your hands move again, this time ghosting across your stomach, coming to rest on your breasts. Without the slightest bit of embarrassment, you start playing with yourself, teasing your self, chasing the high you know he won't let you have yet.

Weight supported by his elbows, feet lightly touching the floor off the end of the bed, his other hand is free to tease you too. He eases one finger inside and you immediately tighten around it, needing more, your muscles naturally trying to pull him in. The lube mutes the feeling slightly, making his hand slicker, but the sounds as he pumps… you squeeze your breasts, chewing on your bottom lip, back arching, muscles clamping around him again.

“Patience, baby,” Taehyung whispers against your heat. Yeah, that's still a virtue you don't have.

You writhe against him as he pushes in second knuckle deep, curling his finger upward, alternating sucking and circling his tongue over your clit. He drags the digit in and out a couple of times before adding a second one. The stretch doesn't hurt, your body adapting with a certain degree of familiarity. Your heels dig into his shoulders as he curls his fingers again.

Just as the coil in your stomach begins to tighten, mind filling with a delicious mist, Taehyung pulls away. Of course. You protest with a whine, one of your hands leaving your chest to reach for your clit. It never finds its destination. Taehyung bats your hand away, licking his lips to clean them.

“Do you know how fucking hot it is to watch you play with yourself?” He laughs, placing his fingers back at your entrance, but not dipping in, keeping you on edge.

“So why won't you let me do it?” You pout, pushing out your lower lip.

Taehyung gives you a boxy smile, “Because right now that's my job. Ready?”

“Yes,” you prop yourself up, reaching for his dick, wanting to prompt him to hurry the fuck up already, but not wanting to sounding desperate (it’s probably too late for that though).

He beats you to it, grabbing himself first, hand closing around the base of his length. Taehyung pumps a couple times, dragging his hand slowly to his tip. His gaze never leaves yours, a cocky smile playing on his face, even rhythm of his breathing fluttering with every stroke.

Rolling on a condom with speed that only comes from repetition, Taehyung crawls over you, pressing you into the mattress until you can feel his warm arousal pressing against your core. He pulls his hand forward a bit to circle the tip of his dick against your entrance. It feels strange, especially with the relatively slick surface of the latex. It's very different than a tongue or fingers. Not that you're complaining. He adds more lube, the slight chill causing you to tighten around nothing.

“I'm gonna go slow, but you better tell me if it hurts. Well, it’s probably going to hurt a little no matter what, but-”

“Trust me, you'll be the first person to know.”

“Deal,” he beams. Then his hips press forward. Getting past the tip is fine, it's the next inch that causes you to clench your jaw and grit your teeth. Okay, maybe you’ll take back that whole “not wanting to be treated like a delicate flower” thing.

“Relax, baby,” Taehyung presses a kiss to the soft skin beneath your ear. There's nothing heated or desperate about it as he stills inside of you. “Just breathe.”

Two fingers had been fine. But this? This hurts. And not in a good way. With the amount of smut you’ve read (and your mental collection has grown rather extensive), you were expecting him to slip right in- after a little initial pain- but from there it should've turned into an easy in, out motion, chased by pleasure. Over the next two minutes, you have to fight your body for every inch of Taehyung’s length. It's not so much a problem at your entrance than an ache higher up.

You're pretty sure he only goes a little over halfway.

“Do you need me to pull out?”

“No, just give me a sec,” your reply is breathy as you slowly force yourself to relax around the intrusive, foreign object.

Taehyung keeps his breaths even and there's the vague sense of wishing you knew what he was thinking, but this is definitely something that stays at the back of your mind, toes flexing, fingers twitching, anything to keep your mind off of your core for just a moment.

With a few deep breaths, your body finally seems to accept him. The stretch becomes numb, well not numb, but bearable. Just relax. Relax.

“What do you need?” Taehyung’s voice is soft and he runs a hand comfortingly through your hair. “What can I do?”

“I'm okay. Y-you can move. Just slow.”

“Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?”

“Sure.”

Taehyung swivels his hips and relief floods through your body, but you stiffen as soon as he pushes back in, not going past the invisible line you’d set before. If it had been anyone else inside you, you're pretty sure they would get impatient, but your friend doesn't protest. With each gradual thrust, your body acclimates, accommodating his length with more and more familiar ease. As soon as the ache becomes an afterthought, you finally take the time to notice his flushed cheeks, the sweat that's begun to bead at his hairline, the gentle flex of his stomach and leg muscles as he eases into and out of you.

A small, shaky sigh escapes his lips and the sound sends a beautiful wave of heat to the bottom of your stomach.

“You okay?” He asks quietly, head dropping to rest in the crook of your neck where his teeth graze your skin.

“I’m fine,” you manage. “You?”

“Fine,” Taehyung parrots softly. He's clearly restraining himself, something he doesn't do very often.

You would be thoroughly impressed if he didn't come three minutes later.

“Sorry,” he laughs breathily as he pulls out. “Caught me a bit by surprise.”

“Really?” Your reply is full of sarcasm and disappointment, but mostly humor.

“Well in my defense, a lot of girls don't come during their first time- but! I'm not about to leave you hanging,” he makes quick work of cleaning himself up before pulling you to lie against his chest. Taehyung’s fingers dip between your legs to find your clit and start rubbing gentle but fast circles. “Look, you hardly even bled. And it'll definitely be easier next time.”

You snort, a shiver of pleasure running up your spine despite the strange empty, yet sore feeling left in your core, “Next time?”

“Yes, next time, because you know you love my dick,” Taehyung giggles and presses a kiss to your cheek. He’s probably worried he hurt you. But while it did hurt, it isn’t his fault and you’re not about to hold it against him. You run your hands up and down his bare thighs soothingly, massaging. His free hand comes up to play with your breasts.

You groan loudly in fake annoyance, trying to cover up the unevenness your breathing has suddenly acquired, “Yeah, fine. I do.”

“Exactly~”

“Fuck you.”

“You just did! Kind of.”

This orgasm is small and definitely not worth the amount of crap he just put you through, window shenanigans included, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't appreciate the fact that it had been Taehyung and not anyone else.

As soon as you stop trembling, he lifts you up and carries you to the bathroom, wetting a washcloth with warm water and getting to work, telling you out loud that he's cleaning up but also how the heat will help your muscles.

You don't say much in response, just smiling and thinking, “Whoever ends up marrying this idiot is going to be really lucky.” Of course, you would never give him the satisfaction of knowing that thought crossed your mind. He wraps you in a bath towel before taking you back to his room and setting you on the bed.

As he hops into a pair of boxers, he stumbles toward the door, talking over his shoulder, “I’m gonna go get you some clothes, anything you want in particular-?”

The sound of the front door opening makes both of you freeze. Jimin’s voice floats down the hall, “____, Tae? Where are you?”

Taehyung picks up a shirt off the floor, throwing it at you, and despite feeling like pudding, you manage to not only put it on but also make it under the covers before your partner in crime finishes yelling, “Hey Chim, welcome home. We’re in my room.”

Jimin appears in the doorway just as Taehyung opens it. His nose immediately wrinkles, “Yah! If you two are gonna get each other off can you at least crack a window or something?”

Taehyung giggles, “I would, but I can't.”

“Why not?”

The younger boy gestures grandiloquently to his window, “The screen… popped off and I couldn't figure out how to put it back on.”

Jimin slaps his forehead, “Let me guess. You were letting out a bug.”

Taehyung just shrugs guiltily.

“Fine, I'll take a look at it later- just keep your door closed. I don't need the apartment smelling like jizz.”

“Yes sir!” Taehyung does a comical salute before Jimin walks away, grumbling.

As soon as you're alone with him again, your friend bounces back over to the bed and flops down next to you, “I'm so sleepy… cuddle me? Please?”

“I dunno… that sex was pretty terrible,” you tease. “Do you deserve cuddles?”

He whimpers, pushing out his lower lip, “Baby, you know I tried my best.”

You roll your eyes affectionately, “Yeah. I guess you did. Come here.”

Taehyung beams, giving you a boxy smile as he scoots over, wrapping an arm around your waist, tangling your legs together, and pressing his face into your breasts. You sigh, but smile.

Yup. Classic Taehyung.

✩✩✩♔✩✩✩

A/N: happy late birthday to @bun-squad​!!

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