#soulache

[multidimensional-p]

Just for Today, 5/16/23: Proper Burial for Freedom

Therapy was needed today to recognize how I need to tread deeper into feeling my feelings, esp the painful ones.

As light as life feels rn, I know I’m undergoing a heartbreak, a grieving process of something that once was and will not be again.

Acceptance has been a thing, now removing the residue is what’s left. I’ll get there. For now I’m blessed for listening to the advice given to me - listening to my body bc this nap was revitalizing w some much needed subconscious delving after this vivid dream 💖

[queencocoakimmie]

Tell Me

“Tell Me” Your words Paint a vivid image In my mind Of what our future Looks like. And I am craving more Of your artistry. So tell me, For I need to be lost in the moment, I need to feel whole again. ©️KVP

Tell me,You need meFrom morning to midnight Because my soulAches for youAnd I yearn to be touched by yourBalladry. You feel like every wishI’ve never hadAnd every one that’s comeTrue. When you say,“I love you,”My blood singsA melodyWritten for you,By you. Your wordsPaint a vivid imageIn my mindOf what our futureLooks like. And I am craving moreOf your artistry. So tell me,For I need to be…

[husltingbish]

It's getting hard to control tears

I'm so stuck

I'm soo lonely

Headache bodyache soulache

Eyes blurry throat dry

Chained down when I'm meant to fly

I can't even cry in peace

I'm numb

I'm done with how people treat me

No pretty privilege

No true love

Waiting for the rain from the skys above

To erase all the pain

Villan of my story meant to main

Patiently waiting for death to embrace me🕊️

[chevvilove-blog]

In the shadows

In the void of my mind, you linger, you stayA haunting presence that won't go awayAbsent in flesh, but present in spiritA constant reminder of all that I fearYour whispers, like knives, cut deep in my soulAching, throbbing, taking its tollYou're a shadow, a specter, a weight on my chestA never-ending torment that won't let me restYou cloud my thoughts, distort my perceptionLeaving me drowning in…

[lesewut]

„Die Welt, obgleich sie wunderlich, ist gut genug für Dich und mich.“

A beautifully arranged deluxe edition of the humorous work of German poet and illustrator Wilhelm Busch (1832 - 1908), can be roughly translated as “The Pearls of German Humour- Collected poems with 400 original illustrations by Wilhelm Busch”. Published around 1910 by Dr. Rudolf Will in Berlin, book design by Fritz Adolphy, the portrait of Busch an etching by Prof. Wilhelm Hecht, inspired by the painting of Franz von Lenbach.

„Wer der Gerechtigkeit folgen will durch dick und dünn, muss lange Stiefel haben.“

„Materie - Hartnäckigkeit der kleinsten Lebewesen.“

„In Ängsten findet manches statt, was sonst nicht stattgefunden hat.“

„Die Summe unseres Lebens sind die Stunden, in denen wir liebten.“

Busch’ illustration are still so innovative and provoking, while playing with the bourgeois double moral standards and satirising any kind of contemporary life situations, that the core of human nature is unsurprisingly well presented and reminding us of the difficulties in realising the personal integrity, particularly when self-reflection is inhibited through characteristic weakness of any kind.

Laughing about us and our failures can break the inflexibility of the interpretive mechanism that is paralysing us, because expectations are often above or under the real circumstances. Laughing can help to flatten the sharp existential fears, that are restraining us to be capable of our deepest strength. Humour is the friend of the hungry and the forgotten, when soulache is simultaneously felt as a gift and burden, we laugh to shake off the scoria to feel light-hearted and tender-tongued again, because every oppressiveness shalt be overcome. And when a trauma shudders the built walls of protection, we will laugh with tears in our eyes, because this improvisation was another form of emotional imprisonments for the ashamed hider and we will allow the flames to crawl into our spiritual castle and in the rising of the madness our crown will shine even more marvellous and brilliant.

In hysterical fury the humour will help to tell apart virtue from vice, it won’t makes us feel that our life is a joke, but a tragicomedy - maybe without deus ex machina, but we still can interfere into the script and however the ending will be, the moments of up-lifting emotional moments can turn even black painted scenario into contentment, because we were not afraid to show our feelings and laugh, when life is overwhelming us.

When a person seems cheerful and merry, the most people do not know what kind of huge mental work was invested to appear in this happy way.

„Mancher kann nicht aus dem Fenster hinausdenken.“

Every individual has its own ways and strategies to deal with difficulties in strokes of fate, but it is indeed an old wisdom to accept laughing as a motivating therapy and possibility to enjoy life as a chance to share love and warmth. With a smile and patience so many limits can be exceed, so many wonderful segments of ourselves can be found, so many wonderful people can come together in harmony, because we have found inner peace by transforming the shadows into light.

Thanks to all motivating mentors, who are undeterred fulfilling the educational mission without expecting earthly goods or honours, because the intercession in form of humour is more than a handout.

„Metaphysik und Worte! Das ist gerade so als wenn man einem die Lehre von der Erbsünde auf der Flöte vorspielte!“

[bear-in-a-foxhole]

Of Fandoms, Corporations Forcing Old Stuff Back Into the Zeigeist and How Disney Stretching IP Rights Beyond 50 Years After an Author's Death Has Been Pure Culture Poison

some thought occurred to me.

I hate South Park. It was fun way back when but now it's just meanspirited plop that's gone on way too long. I think I hate it compared to my soulache at how long the Simpsons has been going on for.

This all came to me as I pondered how publishers can own the rights to frankly dated and now inappropriate kids books in perpetuity (functionally speaking). The ownership of such rights means corporations feel like they have to use em or lose em, they gotta keep getting new generations hooked on old stuff, which in turn means they'll inevitably have to update them.

Of course, I dont like it, not because Im a Dahl or Blyton or Rev. Audry purist... but because I think all art has its natural lifespan, a zeitgeist in which it exists as a living thing. After that passes, it acquires other lives as archeology, historiography perhaps even a cautionary tale from a bygone age. BUT! but... corporations gotta corporation, and times and tastes and mores change, and so long as we can be sold the old nostalgic flavours, there will be efforts to update things, effacing the authors' big old colonial thumbprints.

What does this have to do with South Park and the Simpson or even Star Wars for that matter? They all share a thing in common - the corporate ownership of intellectual properties, the dead hand of capital that prevents things naturally entering the Commons, permitting more re-use, re-examination, or even just drifting off into becoming historical curiosities.. NO, the corporations have a vested interest in constantly trying to force old things back into the zeitgeist, taking off the signs of age, wear or irrelevance.

but once they've jammed them back into the collective consciousness, a ton of binaries arise. is one a fan or not? Were you a fan of the old version(s) or the new? Some people even take it further - Which one is the 'true' version?

I've found myself falling in and out of love with a lot of such intellectual properties over time, and cant help but recoil in revulsion at the rise of extremists among the fandoms - those imaginary republics and kingdoms made of childhood memory. The corporations keep propping up these often creaky edifices as they ride the tides of fans' often inchoate dreams, desires and hopes, with varying degrees of success. Are you a Rain Johnson fan, or a JJAbrams? Are there just too many women altogether in these new stories of the time traveller in his blue box?

There's nothing wrong with having a fondness for a story or a character, but I've wondered for a long time why things feel more... dangerous now? more aggressive? And once again, I couldnt help but assign blame to the modern capitalist world we live in.

Its undeniable that the global economy has managed to improve many people's lives, but the price is as old as pre-feudalism. "workplace flexibility" has always been a con, a one-way street where the serfs and artisans are the ones expected to contort to their overlords' whims and desires. Our lives are in constant turmoil as many of us cant even be assured a place to rest our heads at night, or perhaps if bosses will demand we stop taking personal safety precautions because they dont believe in them. Our parents wonder why we're such fuckups because the system worked OK for them, why cant we succeed like they did? Every system and institution we depend on seems hell bent on not serving our needs and rights. Im pretty sure everyone I know has a thought or a feeling like that at least once EVERY DAY.

Fandoms and nerding over what ever makes us happy start to look like boulders or tiny islands where we can find respite from the torrent of daily life effluent we're all standing in. They may look solid, like we can lean or even camp out on them, but they're more and more often made of whatever the corporations and rights holders dredged up and piled up in the stream.

Are we seeing more aggro fandoms because of a rise in inequality, a lack of predictability and the means of agency over other real-world aspects of our own lives? Are aggressive fans a dark echo of the alienated men in Fight Club, looking for something they can lean on, depend on in their seemingly immutable fond memories of the past? Is fan backlash just a response to how fragile people feel the rest of their lives really are, that nothing else is certain, and now even memory and nostalgia are weapons some Other, some Third Person From Over There is using to wound personally them?

If you've read this far, I thank you for persevering with me. I'd be keen to hear your thoughts.

[sanitydestroyer]

'Seelenschmerz' ('soulache') from the 2nd album of the same name.

[nerooflight]

Recently i made 25 years. I got a honest hug only from my lovely mom. The rest all theater, formalities & virtuality...

My Soul can feel the World has grown Cold & Cruel. Cold fucking World, Cruel fucking World!!

[multidimensional-p]

Just for Today, 5/22/23: Earth Essence

Chiastolite talisman radiated with the subtle energy this afternoon. 4 eagles in their nest and bumblebees all around us. Sponsor giving me a bee journal and sharing experiences. 222 is the vibe I feel. Harmoniously working the balance. Nature reconnection, tree energy exchange with some emotional clearing walking thru the ocean waters. When I am, I heal a lil bit more.

Pachamama the remedy for these soulaches

[wonderbreadgky]

The hardest part of all this is that I won't forget anything about you and you'll forget everything about me

[colorfulnoname]

GUMI - Copycat

[maiuoart]

I just read Vic's sheet and regarding the musical thing, he can't tolerate any kind of music(even the slower more gentle stuff or classic music or like nature sounds) or there's some exceptions? What if he was around a human and they were singing? ((And omg I wanna hug them both so much! How dare you make me feel for them?! :c ))

Not a single lick of Instrumental types at all; Nothing with strings or keys, nothing with ringing or banging, because as I can see it; He is dependent on Sounds for survival of the human population and to keep track of his own brother. 

The deeper meaning of this however; I might not be able to completely tell it with a smart tone, but ima try. Super long explanation below the cut! Sorry ;;/

Due to the undertones of the music, and the fact he’s a Monster, he can easily pick up the waves along with the instruments that most Humans can’t pick up on; Grinding of the strings, banging of the drums and stretching of the plastic which can make him recall of cave ins and other loud sounds of battle, and the intensity of the ringing of bells the aftertone leaves, it leaves his head ringing due to the sensitivity. And the huge hole in the back of his skull? You would think it wouldn’t phase him… 

Nope, quite the opposite; It just all echos inside his skull and grates on his nerves; All of it being that of nails on chalkboard. Think of it like… You’re on the top of a cliff and there’s a large array of other mountains around; One loud scream and it echos all back. To you; That’s entertaining and probably super calming! But for Vic? It’s like taking the world’s heaviest metal board and scratching it with the most rusty metals but twice as loud, perhaps enough to shake him to his own Core some days.

Certain tones of specific instruments even tend to bring back bad memories; Be it from Battles he’s endured, certain sounds he’s especially picked out to listen for, or whatever it may be can become almost like a trigger.

Now after he gets his happy ending and is able to get the pleasure of not being able to worry about anything anymore; Nature sounds would be the only exception besides from audio books. But he prefers words and others talking due to the fact he can’t easily allow himself to daze out or the fact that he’s so used to listening to nature in general; He needs something else to help keep his mind distracted.

However, songs from the vocals of the flesh or magic tend to mend his nerves and soothe him. They don’t carry how instruments do, they don’t damage his hearing even if one couldn’t sing. Vic would still be able to take that compared to instruments of any kind. He would love just listening to someone sing or even talking to themselves; Doesn’t matter what type of voice they have, he’d just watch or rest his sockets and focus on the words. He’s become instantly soothed, relaxing his tense magic down he has the habit of keeping up constantly.

If Vic can get someone to either sing or talk, he’d gladly take that over an audio tape anyday due to the fact he can hear the low hum of the machine as well. But it’s nothing compared to the instruments; He can handle machine hums!

If he does allow himself to daze off, he goes immediately to some very Dark Places; His Regrets, the ordeals that have Disturbed him the most up to that point in his time. However, that leads to another ordeal containing another topic~ 

Thanks for asking!! I Really loved this question! ♥ Hope you enjoy the answer! And ohhhh, Trust me; I feel for these boys, too :’) Their both Good Boys, just been done super dirty and need all the love and care in the world, I swear~ Thank you for enjoying them!! ; v ; ♥

[misstysttar]

BitterSweet part 2

Octavia - Underswap Muffet

Serif -Sans Undertale

Red - Underfell Sans

Blues - Underswap Sans

Queen Fern - Underswap Toriel

... They felt empty and numb, they didn't register what was fully happening around them on the semi busy streets as on lookers passed by as Red followed them step by step trying to talk to them. But they felt nothing, they did not register Red or the other monster following a step behind. All they were focused on was getting to Octavia.

They admit that in their panic and shock that their escape of the scene had been loud and attracted the attention of both Red and the other skeletal monster.

They don't know if they were happy that they had gotten their attention or not. They definitely did not want to see nor hear Red in their state right now, which wasn't too difficult since everything felt like static and of being underwater.

In no time at all they were at Octavia's door, they didn't bother knocking since didn't care if they did or not, but they  only do it out of politeness and habit regardless. But right now they wanted to get away from their SOULmate.

They make sure that Red and whoever that monster was didn't follow them inside, though they knew that Red would have just been able to teleport inside, or even teleport them back to the apartment. They didn't think of why he didn't just do either of those things, just focused on finding Octavia and staying away from Red. Looking back out the windows she sees that Red and the other monster were still out there, they hear Red's voice through the glass," C'mon sweetheart please! Jus' let meh talk wi' ya a'right?" 

A cold shiver runs throughout their body at his voice, they weren't sure if hearing his voice made them panic even more or if they should take comfort in hearing their SOULmate's voice. They turn around and head towards the back, where the stairs leading up into Octavia's home were. 

"Octavia!!" Calling out to their friend as they rush up the stairs, their tears now set loose now that they were close to their friend. 

<<___>>

- 1 week and few days later-

Even though their SOUL still ached, they were doing better. Maybe they'll have the courage to talk with Red sometime soon? if they don't chicken out like they have been doing since they found Red with the other monster, Serif, they found out his name through Blues who often came to visit Octavia's cafe on his breaks and after work and training.

"I AM VERY TRULY UPSET AT THEM BOTH FOR DOING SUCH A THING!! WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WAS WHY RED HAD DONE THIS TO YOU!!HIS SOULMATE OF ALL PEOPLE!!!"  Blues was pretty shocked and dismayed on hearing what had happened. Blues didn't fully understand why Red would do that when he had tied himself to someone already. And was very dissapointed in Red and this Serif monster.

Both he and Octavia had been helping them out since then, Blues had been helpful on keeping Red away so far and had lifted their spirits as well as Octavia too.

"DO NOT WORRY HUMAN!!! FOR I BLUES WILL-ahem.- AND OCTAVIA OF COURSE!!! WILL BE HERE FOR YOU" Blues assured them sitting next to them on one of Octavia's couches.

" he is right of course sugar, the both of us will be here for you all the ways throught this." Octavia comforted them, giving them a gentle sideways hug.

They didn't know what they had done to have such amazing friends by their side. But they dearly loved the two of them for all the time they had been there for them, especially now more than ever.

It was very unpleasant to block Red out from their SOUL, it put a strain on them to do it. They dreaded that it was hurting Red's SOUL by blockimg him out, a part of them wanting to just open their bond and see him. (They also dreaded that perhaphs that their bond would become loveless, like they had heard that Queen Fern was in)But they knew they just needed time to be able to see him without getting too overwhelmed by their emotions.

But for now, they will stay with Octavia(and Blues when he came to have a sleepover with them and Octavia.)

[nrmoore]

Logo work, 2019-2020

On Deck podcast Dank Dani Dabberz handmade smoking accessories Emotional Labor podcast SOULache Rx yoga and astrology for healing

[superunicat]

So... I noticed my tics have gotten better the last days. And my depression is getting worse. Don't know if it is related but.. When I have a headache I have less tics too so.. Maybe this time it just isn't a headache but a soulache? Dunno..

[theeamazingghaida]

Soulache..