#source: I dunno mb

[gardentool]

Shoko: Explain to me how you two got in an accident.

Y/N: Well we were driving and there was a deer on the road and Gojo didn’t notice it so I said "Gojo, deer!"

Shoko: And????

Y/N: Tell her your answer.

Gojo: …

Gojo: *sighs*

Gojo: “Yes, dear?”

[kawaoneechan]

Why I don't like Unity

There's three reasons, basically, besides my personal inability to get any custom character assets into Unity, Unreal, or Godot.

Let me tell you below the readmore.

Reason #1: it managed to fucking bluescreen my system just trying to start.

How do you fuck that up? I download an installer and run it. This gives me a launcher. From there, I'm supposed to install the actual product I wanted to begin with. That's bad enough, to be honest. But then the fucking launcher managed to break so badly, I had my first BSOD in several months. With all I do to my poor laptops, I so very rarely got crashes like that it honestly threw me the fuck off.

If the launcher is gonna play like that, forget about installing the actual product.

Reason #2: CPU pegging up the ass.

On my previous laptop, attempting to run basically any Unity-based game would peg the CPU, all cores, until the poor thing ran so hot within mere minutes, it'd commit preventative sudoku. Maybe if I was lucky, I'd get a chance to set all the things to "lowest", and that might let me, I dunno, play long enough to get through the goddamn tutorial?

And I'm not even talking about state-of-the-art 3D games, but simple 2D games with low-resolution pixel art. Why would those run a dual-core at 200% until it fucking kills itself? Makes no sense.

Now, Phil Fortier of Icefall Games is an acquaintance of mine via SCI shenanigans, and when he released Snow Spirit (soon to be rereleased as part of Chronicles of Cascadia), I lamented to him about how his use of Unity would mean I couldn't run any of his stuff. So Phil looked into it and found a Big Fucking Thing to optimize. This basically makes Phil's SCI games the only things made in Unity that I can personally trust won't Do That.

Reason #3: About those 2D games...

I'm gonna dip into my Twitter archives for a bit and repost some stuff for this part.

*wavy flashback effect*

This is Angel Jump, a simple little arcade jumping game that's available on itch.io:

It's delightfully low resolution and has like four seconds of audio all added up. Can't be more than a few MB, depending on which sane development framework they used, right?

33 MB, actually. Because Unity. Let's see how it breaks down:

Unity main exe: 623 KB

Main game assets file: 1.19 MB together

A folder full of support DLLs like terrain and cloth: 7.17 MB, 90% or more of them never called because this is a 2D pixel-art game.

Unity's default resources: 3.41 MB. Mind that of these, only the splash logo is actually used because Angel Jump was made in the free edition.

Mono embedded runtime: 2.61 MB, and each game gets its own copy, much like how Electron apps each have their own copies of Chromium.

And another 17 MB for the Unity Player.

All in all, 33 MB of files for a game like that. Why? Because Unity is a bloated crapsack, I'd conclude from a cursory study like that. Let's compare that to some other games.

This is Elevator Girl, which is not on itch.io.

It has a lot of different animations and three fairly long background music tracks. It's only one file, 18.7 MB. I'm willing to bet most of that is the BGM, but I can't confirm it because it's just the one file.

And just for some historical perspective, the entire Crystal Caves trilogy is 1.31 MB, including some chaff. Commander Keen 4 on its own is 740 KB. Now, Keen and Elevator Girl both have OPL soundtracks, but the latter's is probably streamed.

Noxico is only 1.25 MB to download as a .7z file. Its only optimization that I myself actively apply is that I crunch the PNG files. The rest is text, and since the game uses a .zip file by another name as a game data source... yeah. That's a cheap win.

Now, back to Angel Jump. I went through the game's own resources to see what size it could conceivably have if it was not made in Unity. 54 textures, ten of them actually used. Tiny font stored in a weird way, possibly for distance field trickery which has no business in a 2D pixel game if you ask me. 921 KB of WAV files, high-quality bleepity-bloops, two of them jingles. 4.22 KB of PNG files, crunched like Noxico, for all but the creator's logo and the font. 973 KB for a copy of SDL, and I'd estimate at worst two MB for the main EXE.

The entire Angel Jump game could be no more than 4 MB and a half-dozen files, It's actually 33.2 MB, 92 files.

There's a more general computer programming issue that this reliance on Unity for even the simplest, smallest games seems to spring from: the bigger and better the computers get, the more lazy the developers get. Only have like four MHz, 640 KB of RAM and, what, 720 KB of diskette space, and no guarantee of an HDD? Better make the most of it, developers! But now the pressure's off and there's no more reason to exert any effort into keeping small games actually small.

*sigh*

[yestrday]

// more genshin leak stuff ig

https://www.tumblr.com/yestrday/719327331807805440/genshin-impact-leaks-have-u-seen-the-leak-for?source=share

I couldn't find the og tweet announcing her but in the og tweet they said she was supposed to be "dark skinned" so I guess I was expecting darker? 😭 but then again I shouldn't be expecting much with mhy

OH BUT I DID FIND A SOURCE SAYING THE DESIGN COULD BE DIFFERENT. apparently the design in the tweet I linked was ai generated so it could change, I dunno how accurate these sources are lolol BUT SHE IS CUTE and I am excited for her, I guess I just took the og description of her for granted, mb

THAT was ai generated?? oh come the fuck on that was already so cute.. and you shouldnt expect too much from hyv anymore lmao the darkest we're getting is candace

[aidoru-ojisan]

all my fellow “Tumblr Famous” Anime bloggers be blogging or posting gifs of Koe no Katachi while I be like, “Damn... If I watch this, my detestation towards Kyoani may be changed for good.”

[soulgathered-archived]

potential ,xiv verses for v.ash .

plants are an all.ag creation like in canon knives & v.ash are born asexually & raised by r.em. one of the few people to survive the downfall of the empire & things just. happen from there.

similarly, plants as an ancient creation - either in el.pis or perhaps in pande.monium - & again, the twins are born from one of the plants & raised by r.em. where things might differ is o1 ) either during the final days r.em protected the twins by placing them within creation crystals that end up on the source & get activated at some point allowing them to leave. o2 ) ve.nat takes the twins under her wings & helps r.em raising them & they later share the seat of az.em ( or mb only v.ash takes the seat, who knows. but he has a.zem energy ). dunno if they would hide that the twins are creation born or not, I assume certain convo.cation members would be able to tell. but yeah, the usual stick, v.ash gets sundered & his source shard becomes the wol.

[sublimeglitterenemy]

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[softboyshipping]

hey keena, i wanted to know a thing about these good boys but didn't know who to ask and u seem like a v v reputable source. how did nick and griffo meet? i assume through polygon, but like everyone always mentions nick having known about griffin prior to working with him in fics or w/e and i'm very curious. tysm if u can answer this!!! 🌠

hi there friendo!! omg i am in no ways reputable, but i’ll do my best based on what i know, and if anyone else has anything to add please do!

i’m almost 100% convinced that they did meet shortly after nick joined up with polygon, right after rev3g ames dissolved… this was around early 2015 i think. unless i’m mistaken this gameplay video is the first one they make together which is neat how it has the first hints of their buddyship mixed with like… a vaguely stilted camaraderie 

SO unless they did meet prior to working together (which i dont think is the case? but they havent ever really said) i think that pol ygon was most likely how they got to know each other, but the reason that lots of folks talk abt nick knowing griffin prior to working with him is because nick is a big mb mbam fan!

this still drives me bonkers every day. i honestly can’t believe it. like. imagine having a comedy idol that you listen to weekly (THIS WAS BEFORE THE MCELR OYS WERE BIG MIND YOU…), knowing so much about this individual who has no idea who you are, and following griffin’s professional career after he left joystiq and basically created pol ygon from the ground up? and then meeting him and getting to work with him?? it’s wild. it’s so wild. they have such a good relationship it makes me cry

i know @polygonstrosity has said that nick talked about being a big pol ygon fan while he still worked at rev3 BUT I DUNNO AS MUCH ABOUT THAT, (if you have more info pls share buddy)

but anyways god i desperately want to know how their first ever interaction went. I NEED TO KNOW SO BADLY??? nick was probably soooooo flustered and fangirling so hard and trying to act cool for griffin. imagine how good griff’s approval must have made him feel........ it’s GOOD

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #252

“Lie’s Memories, Soda Bay”

[Crim] - scuttles down another fight of stairs, heading toward the sounds of voices. He's covered in dirt and coal dust, leaving footprints.

[Crim] - closing in on the sounds, he stops to sniff, then lick the wall. - Not right.

[Crim] - snorting a puff of smoke, he scuttles away, finally entering the kitchen.

[Yaunfen] - Crim!  Crim!

[Crim] - spotting Yaunfen, he prances over, then promptly sneezes.

[Yaunfen] Coughs a little at the smoke- What Crim doing?

[Buff] Frowns- smoking is bad for you

[Doc] Thats a bit smelly Crim, what are you doing? Too many snacks giving you an upset tummy?

[Crim] - frown and shakes himself, making a small dust cloud. - No, looking for thing.

[Yaunfen] - I help!

[Crim] - Maybe, maybe, but not know where look.

[Yaunfen] - What look for?

[Deer] Is just watching, amused-

[Crim] - frown and wrings his front paws - Not know! Red rock! Taste different!

[Deer] - Netherrack?

[Crim] - blinks and shrugs. - Not know! Only know taste.

[Deer] - Hmm, Love?  Can we get some items from creative?

[Doc] Sure! - Xe's just happy for a simple problem- how about redstone? Or netherwort? -sets them on the table.

[Liz] -Leans head over to nibble on some redstone-

[Crim] - comes over to sniff the redstone and sneezes. Pokes the netherwort with a claw, not wanting to sneeze more. - No, smells wrong, wrong.

[Yaunfen] Points at magma blocks which form the next room- What about those?

[Crim] - looks over to the blocks. Scuttles over and sniffs. - Smell better. - Then licks the magma block.

[Yaunfen] - Hot!  Hot!

[Crim] - licks the block again, then scrapes several sets of claws across the top.

[Liz] -Eating redstone and watching Crim eat a magma block- Nice.

[Crim] - finally manages to break the block, then takes a sizable bite out of it. He purs, but looks around. - Better, better. But not red rock.

[Doc] What else is even red? - pulls out red wool, red clay and even red cement powder.

[Liz] Fire rock? Have fire rock!

[Crim] - sighs, crunching the last of the magma. Scuttles over to sniff all the things Doc is tossing out.

[Doc] All that's left is poppies , red bedsheets and... Lava.

[Crim] - sighs, shaking his head. - No. Me go hunt more. - Stands and darts out of the kitchen.

[Yaunfen] - Bye!

[Doc] I really hope what he needs isn't confined to the modded seed he came from...

[Buff] I get giving snacks while babysitting, but junk food for breakfast Yaunfen?

[Liz] Iss what Yaun eats!

[Liz] -Proceeds to gnaw on a fire shard since shi mentioned it earlier-

[Doc] Liz is right, they're whole seed is like that. The dirt is cake and the trees drop candy apples and ice cream cones, the water is fizzy soda and the grass is made of fruit Popsicles.

[Buff] Long stare- I think I gained several pounds and got a cavity just thinking about that.

[Yaunfen] Holds a lollipop out for Buff-

[Doc] Pats Liz- how are you doing kiddo?

[Buff] I think I'll pass, thank you though. I like to stick with the basics. Plenty of roughage! -Takes a bite out of a raw potato

[Doc] Okay, even I think that's weird

[Deer] - You wouldn't think so if I did it

[Liz] 'M good! Skee says when I get even bigger he might take me for a trip to where I came from! *cronch

[Doc] Fair enough, but there's a furnace right there. Raw carrots yes, but potatoes?

[Yaunfen] - Mada all done!

[Liz] Dunno how I can get even bigger, I'm already bigger! Do we get even bigger? Like the big big dark one?

[Deer] - Hopefully you will

[Liz] Me too!

[Liz] Weird to think of, but cool too?

[Deer] Very much so!

[Sky] -snoring, head on table-

[Doc] Good on you, finished all your food like a big kid. I've noticed the sneaking out to sleep with me and Deerheart is still at a steady level. Do you need anything for your room? To make it more yours?

[Yaunfen] Shakes head- No, just like being with Mada and Mama

[Doc] Oh okay- Xe gives the little dragon a kiss on their head- I guess i should be glad you don't think mama and mada are totally uncool and want to change your room walls to black wool.

[Yaunfen] Tilts head- Whi I do that?

[Doc] it's a thing that happens to human kids sometimes. They get to a certain age and try to assert their individuality by being as different from their parents as possible.

-cronch-

[Yaunfen] - Oh, can we go play in now?

[Doc] Yes, anything. What do you want to do?

[Yaunfen] Shrugs-

[Doc] I did have something I was saving if you wanted to go fishing... -sly look-

[Yaunfen] - Fishing?

[Doc] Yep. It's a nice day out.

[Buff] Giving Doc a suspicious look - I like fishing, but you're up to something Herobrine.

[Yaunfen] - Let's go!  Let's go!

[Doc] Takes something out of a trunk and puts it quickly away - Coming Deerheart?

[Deer] - I'll join you in a bit, I'm going to clean up in here first

[Doc] Ah, okay. We'll be above you so you'll get a good view at least.

[Buff] Above? Oh! The bay!

[Deer] - Have fun!

[Doc] Leads them up and outside. - I have to make some adjustments first, just in case. - Xe takes a strong stance and raises a wall of dirt up from the floor of the bay where is connects to the sea, so it's blocked off into a pond.

[Buff] Just in case of what?

[Doc] Contamination... Deerheart would kick my butt otherwise.

[Buff] Oh. WHAT?

[Doc] Winks- trust me. - Xe throws a few sponges into the new pond and dries it out.

[Yaunfen] - Fish!  Fish!  Sponge?

[Doc] Now we shore things up a bit just in case. - Xe makes the wall taller so the dry hole is safely isolated and begins pouring it full again with a slightly bubbly blue liquid.

[Buff] What in the world?!

[Yaunfen] - Soda?

[Doc] It's water from your seed sweetheart.

[Yaunfen] Jumps around a little-

[Deer] Is giving suspicious looks from below-

[Doc] Waves at her cheerfully while there's still a minimum of liquid.

[Deer] Starts making her way up-

[Buff] Is that bubbly stuff hot?!

[Doc] Nope! Now for the really fun part.

[Yaunfen] Has shifted back to their dragon form and is jumping around excitedly-

[Doc] Pulls out a very gaudy spawn egg - Here's the fish! - Xe taps it a few times and red, yellow and green fish pop out and swim madly away from the shore-  Go get em!

[Yaunfen] Leaps into the water-

[Deer] - Love?  What is this?

[Doc] A present for our child. A little bit of their home seed. Soda water and sweet gummy fish.

[Buff] Sounds a bit too sweet for me....

[Deer] - At what about the lobsters that were at the bottom of the bay?

[Doc] Ummm.... - sheepish look- I didn't see anything when I dried it out?

[Yaunfen] Races through the water, snapping at the fish-

[Deer] Sighs-

[Doc] Scuffs a boot in the sand - Sorry....

[Buff] I think I'll fish on the other side of the divider.

[Deer] - I love you, but sometimes your excitement gets a bit ahead of you.  But it's understandable after how stressful yesterday was

[Doc] Wilts a bit - This whole week has been stressful... and I'd been saving that for a while. I just want Yaunfen to be happy. And it's a good way to keep a food source close for them.

[Deer] - So the bay will just be perpetual soda now?

[Doc] I can clean it up and move it elsewhere if it bothers you...

[Yaunfen] With a mouth full of red fish- MADA LOOK!

[Deer] - It's fine for the time being- Kisses Doc's cheek

[Doc] Blushes under her kiss-

[Buff] Leans over from his seat on the shore to eyebrow waggle at Doc.

[Doc] Can I have one of those Yaunfen? I want your mom to try it.

[Yaunfen] Swims over with it-

[Doc] Kisses Yaunfen's nose - Thank you. - Xe takes the bright red fish and offers it to Deerheart. It's soft and slightly translucent.

[Deer] Takes it and turns it around in her hands before tasting it- That's...  Odd...

[Doc] Just bite anywhere. There aren't any bones.

[Deer] Bites and makes a face- That's...  Not natural...

[Doc] Nope. It's mostly sugar and gelatin and fake strawberry stuff.

[Deer] Hands it to Doc- I think it has to do with the texture

[Doc] Pokes it gleefully. - Well Yaunfen likes it, and that's the important thing.

[Deer] And what exactly is this gelatin?

[Doc] Hmm? I read up on it online. It's cow hoof.

[Deer] Turns a bit green- No

[Doc] Takes a big bite. - Hehe. Okay love. - Turns to watch Yaunfen play- Try to catch a yellow one! They're sort of sweet and sour. Deerheart, you should join me next time I go over to our little one's seed.

[Deer] - Perhaps, but for now I'm going to go sterilize my mouth with alcohol

[Doc] Awww. Is it better then the gold cheese at least? - Big grin.

[Deer] Narrows eyes- No more kisses for a week

[Doc] Sad pouty face- Not even if I kiss you down in the bushes?

[Deer] - ...  Maybe

[CP] Takes to flight and darts in, grabbing his wife out of the middle of all the thorns and carries her a distance before setting her down-

[Lie] - What...  What happened?

[CP] - That would be your defense

[TLOT] From a distance- Not cool Cp!

[CP] - I don't care TLOT!

[Herabrine] Is walking to town for totally not suspicious reasons and stops - Hey Lie! Wow. Your hair looks nice! Did you figure out how to grow it like your plants? - grins.

-[Lie] - Ummm...  I'm sorry?

[Herabrine] Your hair, it's way longer. And did Cp steal your outfit again? That looks like Alex gear.

[Lie] - Ummm...

[CP] - TLOT it's your turn to explain!

[TLOT] still from a distance- Bite me.

[CP] Growls-

[Herabrine] Explain what?

[CP] - Lie has...  Amnesia

[Herabrine] Is silent for a long moment, just floating a little bit off the ground and then suddenly decks Cp right in the face -

[CP] - THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?

[Herabrine] BECAUSE I'M BETTING YOU HAD SOME PART IN IT!

[CP] - I DID NOT!

[Lie] Is looking between the two of them very confused-

[Herabrine] SAYS THE GUY WHO CAN GET INTO PEOPLE'S DREAMS?!

[CP] - LIE...  Lie made a mistake...

[Herabrine] YOU BASTARD!  - she leaps at him, transforming in the air into her guardian form and squashing him against the ground before flopping and jumping on him -

[CP] Teleports out from under her- YOU BITCH!

[Lie] Yelps in surprise and takes a few steps back-

[Herabrine] Aims a scalding jet of hot water at him.

[Mb] Sneaks up behind Lie - Is this a private party or can anyone play?

[Lie] Sets up another barrier of thorns in surprise-

[CP] - OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!- He counters the water with fire

[Herabrine] Casts mining sickness on him-

[Mb] Leaps backward in alarm- Fuck that noise!

[Celine] No fight! No fight!

[CP] - YOU BITCH HOW ABOUT YOU FIGHT WITHOUT YOUR AIR BALLOON OF A BODY!

[Herabrine] Suddenly tps into his face and hits him with the flat of her tail-

[CP] Stands there unimpressed-

[Herabrine] Douses him with hot water again-

[Lie] - Please...  Please stop...

[Herabrine] Huh?

[Celine] No fight!!!

[Mb] You guys are no fun...

[Lie] Is shaking a little- Please?

[CP] - Lie...

[Herabrine] Goes back to her human shape. -Only because you asked me Lie.

[Celine] Rubs on Lie purring-

[CP] Quietly- She was deleted

[Herabrine] WHO DID IT?! I'LL KILL THEM!!!!

[CP] - My NOTCH

[Herabrine] Snarls in fury -

[Mb] Wait, Lie got deleted? I fucking hate NOTCHs.

[CP] - If Doc and Flux hadn't gotten there in time...

[Herabrine] Hugs Lie as much as she can reach- Lie....

[Lie] - Ah, I'm sorry, but who are you?

[Herabrine] Freezes - Lie....? I'm your best friend...? Herabrine... Oh gods...

[Lie] - I'm sorry, but I don't remember...  I only recall my name...

[CP] - Doc says her memories are still compiling, but they should eventually return

[Herabrine] Is obviously just stunned and sad - I... Lie.... Anything you need to recover... it's yours. Just ask me.

[Lie] - Alright?

[Mb] At Cp - Someone here can FIX deletions?!

[CP] Flies back over and lifts her out of the vines again-  Doc can make it impossible for someone to be deleted, Flux managed to grab Lie's code as it was unraveling so they were able to bring my wife back

[Herabrine] But she has no memories...? What went wrong?

[CP] - Doc believes that the physical repairs took priority over they memories, so until she is physically back to normal, she won't remember anything

[Herabrine] Looks her over. - There are some little things missing. Wait, so this is whole new skin? Can you still be little floof?

[Lie] - Little floof?

[Herabrine] Slides Lie a copy of the thin book before Cp can react.

[Celine] Sees the book and cocks her head sideways - FLOOF!

[Lie] - Oh, a cat form?  I accidentally went into one earlier...

[CP] - WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT!?

[Herabrine] Why wouldn't I? I like to play with kids sometimes.

[CP] Groans-

[Lie] - Why is this book apparently about me?

[Herabrine] Because Doc and Deerheart wrote it. It's a dumbed down version of how you two met....

[Lie] - How we met...- She begins flipping through the pages

[Herabrine] Has the biggest shit eating grin-

[Mb] Floats a bit to look over Lie's shoulder-

[Celine] Jumps around squeaking - FLOOF! FLOOF!

[Lie] - Does your little one want to read it?

[Mb] She's seen it before, but go ahead if you want.

[CP] - ACTUALLY, we were heading somewhere...

[Celine] BOOKBOOKBOOK!

[Lie] Hands the book to MB- Here, I think she might enjoy it more if you read it

[Celine] Scrabbles at Lie - FLOOF READ!

[Lie] Yelps at the scrabbles- Um...  Okay?- Carefully she sits down and motions for the dragon to join her.  Once Celine is settled she begins reading

[Celine] is utterly captivated.

[Mb] is trying to make it look like he's smiling because Cp is annoyed, not because Celine is happy

[CP] Is getting more and more angered-

[Lie] Finishes the book- And that's the end

[Celine] Yay! - Jumps up and down and thumps her tail knob in the dirt, it hits Cps foot on the last thump

[CP] String of curses-

[Lie] - Are you okay?

[CP] - Fucking hard ass tail...

[Celine] Sowwy...

[Mb] Hey! Don't apologize!

[Lie] - No, apologizing is a good thing...  I think...

[CP] Purely to annoy MB- Yeah, it's a good thing

[Celine] Scurries over to Mb- Ma! Ma! (said like meh meh) I do good!

[CP] Snickers-

[Mb] Shut the fuck up! She can't say Master yet!!!

[Lie] - Why would she say Master?

[mb] because it's my fucking name?!

[Lie] - Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know...

[Mb] Snorts-

[Notch] is walking down the path on his phone- will you shut up about the damn computer? I've told you a million times: I'm not your tech supper!

[Notch] Does a double-take and embraces Lie wildly- you're back!!!

[Jeb] still talking on the phone that's no longer by his ear- are you going to comment publicly on the big update at least?! Rumors are flying since you vanished!

[Notch] My daughter in law almost died! And you want to talk about the update?!

[Jeb] Wait? A girl?! Fucking  hell! I saw the logs! Did your group fuck up Harvestman?!

[Notch] Stops hugging Lie to yell into the phone - they're people damn it! Delete that monster!!!

[Lie] Is looking at Notch very confused- Um...

[CP] Is groaning-

[Lie] - You... You're Notch, right?  We met yesterday...

[Notch] oh..... Still no memories?

[Jeb] what do you mean no memories? What the heck is going on?

[CP] - Precisely... Can I go punch that moron in the face no?

[Notch] Waves at Cp to please be quiet for a minute- yeah, it's none of your business Jeb. Now finish what you were saying, I have other things to take care of. [Jeb] lots of hurried words- [Notch] is Minecraft what?? Oh for the love of...

[Notch] Yes, yes, I'll tweet about it! Yes, soon! If only to piss off the homophobes! Fuck sake...- closes his phone and scowls at it-

[Lie] -Who was that you were speaking to?

[Notch] that's Jeb, he had a hand in creating everything you see around you. He's just not good with squishy human relations.

[Lie] Oh, I see

[CP] - Lie we should get going...

[Notch] No, you need to hear this too, it's ridiculous! I'm being asked to make an in the record comment as to whether Minecraft is gay or not!

[CP] - An I care why?

[Lie] - Is it?

[TLOT and Steve] walking up-

[Notch] Yes!- gestures at TLOT and Steve-

[TLOT] What?

[CP] - Oh for fucks sake- He's getting more and more fidgety trying to control his temper

[Notch] We released our most colorful update during pride month, with a rainbow parade announcement on the front page! How much more obvious did it need to be?

[CP] Gives off a burst of fire- WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER!

[Lie] Jumps a little and almost bumps into Hera.  Lie glances at the other female brine- Is he...  Is he always this short tempered?

[Notch] Because it was my intention all along! Why do you think players don't pick a gender when they join? And why the animals and basic humans don't spawn with any natural sexual dimorphism?! Minecraft is open to everyone! Gay, lesbian, bi, queer, ace, pan, poly, everybody!

[TLOT] ... That's actually really cool Markus.

[Notch] Thank you!

[Mb] so my home game is officially gay. Greeeeaat.

[Herabrine] Yeah usually, you're the one who keeps him calm.

[CP] - YOU SHIT HEAD!  DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CRAP I'M GONNA GET FOR THIS FROM THE OTHER PASTAS!?

[Lie] - ...  Is it an arranged marriage?

[Herabrine] Only in the sense that Herobrines are drawn to someone who is perfectly compatible and then lose the ability to hurt that person. They're generally okay with murdering anyone else.

[Notch] It's not always about you Cp! I wanted to make an inclusive game since way before you were ever spawned!

[Lie] Looks unsure- How am I the one compatible for him?  I can't see it...

[CP] Flips Notch off-

[TLOT] You can't see it because you're not seeing how he was when we first brought you in. Here.... let me give you a taste. - He opens her mind and lets a trickle of memories flow into her's of Cp's behavior, it's from his perspective though.

[Lie] Pales a little, a small tremble going through her-

[TLOT] quietly - Doc helped, but you've made a world of difference.

[Notch] Slides over to Cp - You, know considering that she has no memories. You're making a really bad impression on her....

[CP] Freezes a little and glances over at her, seeing her expression and trembles-

[Herabrine] Gives him an expectant look and gestures to her minutely-

[TLOT] Mentally to Cp- Don't lose your chance...

[CP] - Lie...- He's not actually sure what to do

[Herabrine] He's an idiot Lie, but he does love you. That fucker would happily throw the rest of us to the wolves if it was a choice between all of us or you.

[Lie] - Are you sure?

[TLOT] She's correct. Irritating as it is. Doc has shed a lot of tears because xe overestimated how important xe is as his 'friend'.

[Lie] - I'm not sure I understand...

[Steve] quietly - You're his everything. Herobrine's are very choosy about their mates. Once they fall in love, that's it. They can die if they're rejected. It's the only thing that checks their godly powers.

[CP] - Lie, come on, you said you wanted to see where we live...

[Notch] Pats Cp's shoulder to show he's not mad.

[Lie] - O...  Okay...- She's a bit hesitant to follow CP at the moment, but she's trusting what the others are telling her

[Mb] Love is for weenies.

[Celine] Jumps on him and almost knocks him down - Ma!

[Notch] Pfft!

[Herabrine] Follows Lie and Cp-

[CP] Is annoyed that Hera is following them.  They are passing Stevie's house and the Milotic is sunning itself in the shallows below the house-

[Herabrine] Waves at the Milotic and makes some odd noises at it in greeting-

[Milotic] Raises its head in makes noises in return-

[Herabrine] Chuckles happily. - Nice to have other sea critters around. Except for Basil, it's an asshole.

[Lie] - Basil?

[Herabrine] A massive black sea monster that likes to eat bad vibes. Stand Cp on the shore and poke him with a stick. He throws off enough negative energy to get you a good sighting if your curiousity gets the better of you.

[Lie] - Maybe not...

[CP] - We're here- Ahead of them Lie's house come into view, the small horse pen in front holding it's usual occupants and barking can be heard from the dog pen

[Herabrine] Home sweet home. With all your pets. That stir any memories in the old noggin?

[Lie] Shakes her head- No, but it certainly is a lovely place

[CP] - You built almost the entire place

[Herabrine] Yeah, you had a bit of help. TLOT built Endrea's room on the top and I heard Doc helped decorate the treehouse part and set up the swings.

[Lie] - Who's Endrea?

[CP] - I suppose you could say that she's our dragon

[Herabrine] She's a massive black and purple dragon with three adorable baby dragons. You and Cp raised her from an egg.

[Lie] - Raised her?  How did we get her?

[CP] - She was originally just my dragon, but she has a rebirth cycle, so when she dies she becomes an egg again.  She also made a contract to serve you

[Herabrine] She's pretty cool. And she can look humanoid, hence the normal sized room. Raising baby dragons is like a local hobby around here.

[Lie] - Oh

[CP] Opens the door to the house and immediately Hope runs out and starts rubbing against Lie-

[Lie] -Awww, what a cute kitty

[Herabrine] That's Hope... Your kitten.

[Lie] - She's mine?

[CP] - She's absurdly attached to you

[Herabrine] She thought little Floof was her mama, now you sort of are.

[Lie] - You mean my cat form?

[Herabrine] Yep. One and the same.

[Lie] Reaches down and picks up Hope who snuggles into her arms-

[CP] - The Vulpix's will probably bombard you with affection too...

[Lie] - Vulpix's?

[CP] - You'll see- He holds the door open for Lie and motions her inside.

[Lie] Walks in and looks at her surroundings, they entered via the side door to the workshop and so the barking from the dogs is much louder since they are just on the other side of the window.  Her fingers brush over the books which surround her enchanting table and she stops and looks at the pumpkin by the back door with confusion- Butts?

[Herabrine] Yeah... No clue. It's been there as long as the house has though.

[Lie] Softly grunts but heads for the window- Wow...  There's so many animals outside...  I really take care of them all?

[CP] - You get help rather often

[Herabrine] Yeah... you're good at making friends Lie... really good.

[Lie] - Well I suppose that's a good thing!- Her hand twitches towards her chest

[CP] - Lie?

[Herabrine] Gives her a hopeful stare -Lie?

[Lie] - It's nothing, just some twitches...

[CP] There's a faint glow coming from his chest-

[Herabrine] Are you sure? Should I call Doc?

[Lie] - I...  I don't know...'

[Herabrine] They can do an x-ray just by looking, I'll call. - Is typing-

[CP] - Lie, do you need to sit down?  I can always take you up to the bedroom...

[Doc] knocks on the door and then comes in anyway- Is something happening?!

[Herabrine] Points at Cp's chest-

[Doc] What? OH!

[CP] - Why are you pointing at me?

[Doc] look down-

[CP] Glances down at his chest- Oh...

[Lie] - What's happening?

[Doc] I think one of your missing organs is reforming. And Cp has the other part of it, so his is reacting to it.

[Lie] - What are you talking about?- A particularly strong pulse goes through her and her hand comes up to clutch at her chest

[Doc] Can you pull your shirt down a bit, please?

[Lie] - Um, okay- She tugs the top of the shirt down.  There's a very faint flicker of red light

[Doc] Ah. That's some very important progress. - Xe puts down a wool block and motions for her to sit-

[Lie] Shakily sits- Is there anything I need to do?

[Doc] No, just relax. See, I gave you some of my recursive code just like I did for Cp, and you're rebuilding what you lost from the inside out. I don't think you'll get as much use out of it as Cp and I since you don't like to fight, but it's a good insurance policy.

[Lie] - I'm feeling so weird right now...  Like some sort of connection...

[CP] Is watching worriedly-

[Doc] It is a connection. It was was a wedding gift. Two identical hearts made from one block and exchanged between you. They let you and him share your dreams when you sleep together.

[Lie] - Share dreams?  Wait...- She looks at Hera- Didn't you mention something about my husband having command over dreams earlier?

[Herabrine] Yeah, he's the nightmare king. He can drop someone into a stress dream and hold them there. Even kill them in their dream and they'll die for real. They can't even wake up unless he lets them.

[Lie] - I don't like the sound of that...

[CP] - Hey!  I only used it on you a couple of times very early on...

[Doc] Yeeeaaah.... that was rough. It's handy if we need to subdue someone who won't stop trying to fight everyone though, or... - Xe flashes back to the time Cp used it on hir and the hopelessness and fear they felt sets hir shivering all over again.

[Lie] Is about to ask another question when another wave of pain passes through her and she curls in on herself- Why does this hurt so much?- The glow is much more distinct now

[CP] - Calm down Lie, it won't be long before the pain is gone.  And you weren't in any danger Doc...

[Herabrine] Should I get a potion or something?!

[Doc] quietly to Cp- It still hurt my hearts.

[Lie] - Do you think a potion would help?

[CP] Moves so he's behind Lie-  Hey, just focus on me, it will be okay

[Doc] No idea... This isn't sickness anyway. Just growing pains.

[Lie] Shifts back towards CP instinctually-

[Doc] Mind if I have a look?

[Lie] - Go ahead...

[Doc] Stands in front of her and makes a hand sized portal edged with statick in the air to look into her chest.

-The heart is nearly formed, it's pulsating a bit wildly, trying to find it's other half's rhythm to match it-

[Doc] Watches, more then a bit entranced.

[Herabrine] peeks over - not quite done yet. But getting there.

[Doc] It's beautiful...

[Lie] - I feel out of breath...

[CP] Touches her shoulders, trying to be reassuring and her red stone heart reacts-

[Doc] Just stay calm. This is what's supposed to happen

[Lie] Her heart gives a spurt of growth, reaching it's full size, but it still can't find it's rhythm-

[Doc] Cp... try squeezing her hand in tempo with your beats. Show it the way.

[CP] - What makes you think I can feel the tempo of mine?- He does however reach for Lie's hand

[Doc] You're psychic and you can't take your own pulse Cp?

[Herabrine] Ha!

[CP] - Never had a reason to!

[Doc] Fine. But this is going to hurt. Sorry Lie. - Xe slides close to them both

[Lie] Watches a bit nervously-

[Doc] Puts hir hand on Cp's chest and feels the stone heart to take it's beats, with hir other hand xe reaches through the little hole and holds Lie's new heart tightly for only a moment to stop it and then releases it so it falls in line with Cp's as it resumes.

[Lie] Jerks in surprise at the contact-

[CP] Wraps his arms around Lie to hold her close-

[Doc] Picks up the hole like a plate and looks through it again. - That's better.

[Lie] - I'm...  I'm tired now...

[Doc] Maybe that's for the best. A bit of bedrest won't hurt you any.

[CP] Reaches down and scoops Lie up- Our bed is just upstairs-

[Doc] Oookay. I'm staying close by though.

[Herabrine] Sleep well my friend.

[CP] - Sure, close as in back at your castle

[CN] Is sitting in one of the arches of the bridge-

[Doc] I'll be outside.

[CN] - Lie!

[CP] - Not now, she's tired

[CN] - Where did you take her?  What's going on?  Why is your dad watching me?

[CP] - CN, shut up...

[Doc] Walked outside and transformed under the room before lifting hir head up to peek into the window arch across from them-

[CN] - Tell me what's going on!

[CP] Kicks open the bedroom door-

[Lie] Glances around the room- This is...

[CP] - Our bedrrom

[CN] - Why are you having to explain that!  Of course she knows where she sleeps you big meanie!

[CP] Is very close to kicking CN's ass-

[Doc] Cn.... I'll tell you if you calm down.

[CN] Is frustrated as CP closes the door on him- What's going on!

[Doc] Cn, stop. Lie went out on her own and got badly hurt.

[CN] - No!  Why didn't she take me?  I could have protected her!  That's my job!

[Doc] You would have been deleted. I was almost deleted myself.

[CN] - What...  What could do that...?

[Doc] The same NOTCH that took it upon himself to kill Cp's father, turn his brother against him, deleted his mobs for fun, and was the cause of Cp's recent almost death.

[CN] - A NOTCH?  But... But what would drive one of my kind to do that?

[Doc] We don't know. I don't know why the one that hounded TLOT almost to his death did it either.

[CN] - I don't understand...  Why...  Why does this happen

[Doc] I don't know. I'm just grateful that it seems like the programming parameters have been recently changed.

[CN] - Changed?  Does that mean I'll change?

[Doc] No, you're already generated. Unless you're manually deleted, you'll stay the same. Or... if you want me to adjust your form. - Shakes hir mane a bit for emphasis.

[CN] Shakes his head- I don't know...  But I'm scared...

[Doc] What are you scared of?

[CN] - My lack of strength...  The fact that I only seem to screw things up...  I can't do anything...  And if I were to change, then maybe I'd end up bad...

[Doc] You're young, and you're still learning. It's okay to make mistakes. And being strong doesn't change who you are. Deciding to be an asshole is a concious decision, not a feature creep.

[CN] - Are you sure?

[Doc] Do you really think I wouldn't call someone out if I didn't like their behavior?

[CN] Shakes head-

[Doc] Well there you go. Did you have something specific in mind? Or were you just planning on training until you get some muscles?

[CN] - I don't know...

[Doc] You know... I suspect your child form might be permenant. If you ever want to grow up, I know TLOT could make it happen easily.

[CN] - Grow up?

[Doc] You know, be full size, like Markus. Two blocks high.

[CN] - You mean he wasn't always that size?

[Doc] No, he was a kid once. Like the human children in the village. Before that, he was a baby like Hyrule.

[CN] - Hyrule?

[Doc] Oh, You know BEN right? Dresses in green, with a sockcap? Black and red eyes? He has a son. You should ask to see him next time him or Aven is around.

[CN] - Oh...  But all the other kids are going to get bigger?  But...  I won't?

[Doc] Yes. I'm pretty sure. And I'm pretty sure you being small is what keeps Cp from stomping on you when you make him mad. He'll kill an adult happily, but he has a very hard time even being slightly mean to children.

[CN] Looks down- Is that all I am then?  Just a child meant to be an annoyance?

[Doc] No, you're a green NOTCH. Your progress was retarded somewhat by spawing out in the void, it's okay to not know where you fit just yet. At least Lie likes you. It would be worse if you and her were sworn enemies.

[CN] - But she doesn't need me...

[Doc] You don't know that. NOTCH AI's often have some kind of special powers so they aren't just slain by their brines. We just don't know what yours might be. Just take your time. You might be suprised later on.

[CN] - Okay...

[Doc] Rests hir chin on the sill - Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?

[CN] Shakes head-

[Doc] Hey.... I have an idea. There's a new critter in the update that might be to your liking.  - fusses around in the creative menu

[CN] Watches curiously-

[Doc] You'll need these - tosses out some seeds-

[CN] Gathers them in his hands-

[Doc] Here we go! - xe taps a colorful spawn egg and a white and yellow parrot pops out and hops on the floor - Just tap it with the seeds.

[CN] Fumbles a little but does manage it and soon hearts appear around the parrot- What did I do?

[Doc] You tamed a parrot. They're yours now.

[CN] - So do I take it's feathers now?

[Doc] No! It's a living thing. Be nice to it. Pulling it's feathers out would hurt it!

[CN] - But isn't it for my collection?

[Doc] Yes. Because a friendly bird with feathers still attached is better then a clump of feathers on a string.

[CN] Isn't sure-

[Doc] If you're nice to it, it will fly after you and ride your shoulder. It'll also repeat the sounds it hears.

[CN] - Really?

[Doc] Try it. Talk to the bird.

[CN] - Like what?

[Doc] Anything. Make some animal noises, that would be funny.

[CN] Tries barking like a dog-

[CP] Sticks head out of the bedroom door- Will you two shut up?

[Parrot] Makes a barking noise-

[Chomp] Hears the barking and starts barking as well which sets off all the wolves-

[CP] Is already ready to fire ball the bird-

[Doc] Puts hir head between Cp and the bird/Cn - we're just playing. Cool your heels Cp.

[CP] - Well go do it elsewhere- He shuts the door again

[Doc] Flaps hir jaw in imitation of Cp once the door is shut, strictly to make Cn laugh.

[Parrot] elsewhere! elsewhere!

[CN] Giggles a little-

[Doc] See? It's a cute bird. Promise me your won't pluck it.

[CN] - Okay

[Doc] There you go. And if you're patient, parrots shed feathers periodically anyway. Just set up something in your room for it to perch on.

[CN] - Like what?

[Doc] Armor stand maybe?

[CN] Shrugs-

[Doc] You'll think of something.

[CN] - Okay- Turns and goes into his room

[CP] Teleports out onto the bridge and shoves Doc's head off- Fuck off!

[Doc] Is thrown off balance a bit and almost stumbles into the water. Xe shakes a wet paw in annoyance and huffs before curling up under the room-

[CP] Is watching Lie sleep, her sleep is once again not good, as she tosses and turns in her sleep.  After a short while he crawls over onto the bed and pulls Lie into his arms which calms her sleeping down.  He brushes some hair out of her face as he watches her- Please...  Just come back to me, I don't know what to do without you...

[Doc] Hears the quiet words and sighs. - Having the honesty blossoms near the bedroom once again proves a good idea.

[CP] Hears Doc and growls a little but keeps his wife close- Shut up Doc

[Doc] Settles down and sets out hir personal command block, with a few claw taps xe starts listening to a podcast at the lowest volume. The smooth voice speaks of forbidden dog parks, angels and drifting glow clouds. Before long Doc is dozing to the soothing sounds and the sky turns red and gold as the sun slips under the horizon.

[Lie] She stirs awake once morning comes around and she's a bit surprised to find herself in CP's arms again.  CP glances down at her-

[CP] - Hey, sleep okay?

[Lie] - Yeah, sorry about falling asleep with you again...- She's a bit flushed

[CP] - There's no problem, you seem to be sleeping better if I'm holding you anyways

[Lie] - I'm sorry, it must be an inconvenience to you...

[CP] - Never, besides, you're comfort is more important

[Lie] - And you're really okay with this?

[CP] - Absolutely

-Outside there's a bit of fumbling around as Steffan goes around tending to Lie's animals-

[Lie] - I think yesterday was a bit overwhelming...

[CP] - How so?

[Lie] - There was just so much going on, so many new faces and names...

[CP] - If you start to feel overwhelmed let me know, I'll take you away to someplace quiet

[Lie] - Thank you

[Steffan] Notices Doc and sneaks over. - Any news?

[Doc] No... her special heart grew back but she still has no memories.

[Steffan] Bummer...

[CP] Motions towards one of the trunks in the room- If you want to change into some clothes that are actually yours...

[Lie] - Thank you

[CP] Slips out of the room to give Lie her space-

[Doc] quietly- good morning Cp.

[Steffan] Morning big guy!

[CP] Flips Doc off as he leans against the wall of the bridge-

[Steffan] I'll just go... feed the pigs then...

[Doc] Palms a few emeralds and passes them to him.

[Steffan] Thanks dude.

[Lie] Steps out onto the bridge wearing the end stone shirt and dark pants that Doc made her- So what now?

[Doc] I don't know. I guess it's just a matter of time. It's up to you.

[Lie] I see, would you...  Would you mind if I stayed here for awhile?  I think I'd like to explore my home a bit more

[Doc] I don't mind. I'm just trying to stay close in case I'm needed.

[CP] - You're not

[Doc] When you can work on peoples physical ailments at the same level I do, then you can say that to me Cp. For now you're just being rude.

[CP] Growls a little as Lie walks past him to do some more exploring-

[Doc] And I'm not bothering you. I'm just laying here.

[CP] - You're here, that's reason enough

[Doc] Glares at him- What's your problem anyway? It's not like any of this is my fault.

[CP] Says nothing, but he's on edge.  He just wants his wife back to normal and it's driving him nuts not having her so-

[Doc] I think I have one of her calming blossoms here someplace if you want it.

[CP] Motions towards the greenhouse-

[Doc] No need to pluck her blooms if I already have one. Ah, here- Xe holds the flower lightly in hir teeth by the stem and sets it on the windowsill

[CP] Is really tempted to just knock it off like a cat-

[curls-cat]

Remember when you pointed out that Puck's eyes are supposed to be green when they're blue in the books? Well, I've noticed that Puck doesn't anything look like his parents; I mean, he doesn't really have blue eyes like Titania or Oberon nor does he have brown hair. So how come he doesn't look like them?

Awright I waited till my day off to answer this because I wanted Sources. MB said somewhere (and this I did NOT look up the source for, but I Remember it), that Puck’s eyes are supposed to be green, but one book he accidentally said blue (and thus the color-shifting eyes were born and fandom translated this to be Magical Hazel Eyes that turn pink when he’s in love and I want to D I E). If your parents have blue eyes, but there’s a green eye gene on both sides of the family, then you’re likely to have blue eyes, but you COULD have green eyes. Genetics and all.

So there are several possibilities. The first is this thing that happens a lot to white kids where our hair starts out blonde and gets darker the older we get. Like everyone in my family was blonde up until their early teens, but my mom’s got brown hair, my dad’s hair turned BLACK by the time he was in his late 20s, and mine is kinda orangey-brown. Since Mustardseed is blonde too, it makes sense that, as 11-y/os, they’re still blond, even if it might get darker as they get older.

Alternatively, Titania could dye her hair brown. Faerie is heavily modeled after mafia movies, and as a Mob Wife(tm), Titania would not only wear hideous leopard print dresses and a ton of makeup, but she would dye her hair a different color every week. 

Option three: since we never get any physical description for Oberon other than “a bear of a fairy,” the boys could also take after him. Body type is only a little inherited, and I imagine the natural build for fairies is lithe. Makes for easier flight. But Oberon has been extorting money from people for decades, and it doesn’t sound like he’s doing much with it other than enjoying fancy food and feeling powerful. So Puck could look like his dad did when he was younger.

OR there’s this thing where some people look more like their aunts and uncles and grandparents than their parents. Puck could be a throwback.

I feel like you were suggesting Puck was adopted or something equally secretive and intriguing, anon. And while that’s POSSIBLE, I don’t think it’s likely, since Sabrina notices that Puck and Mustardseed have the same chin and nose. It IS possible that Titania cheated on Oberon to have Puck. They seem to have a very unhealthy relationship even in Shakespeare.

My favorite idea, though, goes back to Trans!Puck because I love trans Puck it’s just such a perfect headcanon I’m just kind of casually incorporating it into everything now even if I don’t make it overt.

So let’s say Puck is trans. Fairies tend to be beautiful. Moth says so. Dunno what exactly happened to Oberon but whatever. So a beautiful 11 year old girl looks DIFFERENT than a beautiful 11 year old boy, generally. Puberty is starting, especially for someone with a uterus. Puck maybe has started to have trouble passing.

Seriously, eleven is OLD to stop aging if you wanna stay a kid forever. There’s gotta be a reason he stopped so late, and whether you think he’s trans or not, you have to admit it probably stemmed from fear. Something happened that made him go “I have to stop aging NOW,” and not when he was nine or twelve (both right before major milestones as far as humans think of age).

So if Puck is a transboy and if his face is starting to turn into something people generally think of as beautiful and girlish, it’s not at all improbable that he’s started casually shapeshifting himself to look more masculine. Thicker eyebrows, deeper-set eyes. Thinner, paler lips. That sort of thing. So maybe the Puck that Sabrina is used to seeing isn’t really what Puck looks like at all.

I dunno, that’s just my headcanon. It would be INTERESTING if someone wanted to write a fanfic in which Puck is adopted, though. Or, like, he’s actually not Oberon’s kid. Or he is, but he’s not Titania’s. But I’m probably not gonna do it because transboy Puck is just... my fave <3 my fake it til you make it son