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azulsluver · 10 months ago

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𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐧

tw/cw: bullying (bully!reader), verbal/physical abuse, stalking, graphic violence, obsessive behavior, breaking bones, unintentional emotional manipulation, noncon kissing.

summary: as a child, you refused to befriend josuke, bullying the poor boy who was smitten no matter what you did to him. until he’s grown tired of you turning him down, he can’t seem to take your rejection to heart anymore. he’ll gladly give you a hands on experience of how much you’ve hurted him over the years

When he would wave at you from across the room, waving with those pearly whites, it irked you.

He must’ve came back to haunt you of your wrong doings. Just when you came to a conclusion and accepting of the past, he lingers still. With Josuke’s popularity you expected him to use that as leverage to get some form of revenge from you, anything that’ll leave you scarred, looking over your shoulder while you scurry to class.

Paranoia eats you inside out, he’s so nice to you. Calling you by your first name and handing you pencils because you just so happen to have them missing each time.

The same boy, grown, yet annoying.

You noticed your friend group would slip away as they had excuses to leave. Some even moving schools, and many cutting off contact without a reason. You’d find yourself alone, not always, as Josuke managed to worm his way into your pathetic, failed relationships. There’s a feeling in your gut, watching as Josuke sat next to you in comfort that your best-friend had been sent to the hospital. Along the teary eyes, Josuke had a glint in his that caused you to shield your face away.

[☮︎] maybe it was fate •••

Higashikata Josuke. His name caused you to look up from your coloring, the teacher kneeled as they motion their hand towards you. A smile on their lips as Josuke nervously walks up to you. You find his weary expression funny.

Play nice they said. You can do that. Scooting to the side to let Josuke settle next to you, handing him your share of the crayons. He takes it with ease, the two of you in silence as you color. Not minding him scooting closer, just where your elbows touch.

At such a young age, you at first didn’t understand the concept of personal space. Your parents held you, kissed your cheek and walked you with their hands in yours. You loved the physical contact. So what bothered you when Josuke held yours? Was he too rough? Did he squeeze your fingers for too long or sweat so much? You find yourself pulling away from him, finding the words to say no. He can’t hug you, you don’t like it. No, he can’t kiss you just because he’s playing husband. You’d demand for a divorce and run away from baking the plastic cookies.

It felt good to voice your frustration. Josuke seemed to have listen after countless attempts, going with sulking from afar as you play with your other play dates. He wants you to play with him. Don’t find another husband or wife. He can be a good husband, so why do you avoid him after his sorries?

When your mother tucked you in for bed with a kiss on the cheek you couldn’t help but pull the covers to your mouth. Clutching onto your plushy that smelt like her perfume, her hand gently rub against your forehead as she leaves your door ajar. You think back to Josuke.

He follows. Too close, too far. Wherever, giving you his juice box or putting a bandaid on your knee. Wherever.

It’s bad to think, but what would work to chase him away. Dulling over mindlessly, you’re preoccupied with one thought; Josuke to leave you alone for good. Maybe your older friends would know.

The first thing you’ve done from the whispers that encouraged you to rip up the drawing he made for you. Dumping milk on his bag accidentally; it’s okay he tells you, it was an accident after all. He’s happy you’re not hurt!

You shoved him a little too hard. His elbows got scrapped from the concrete bellow as your friends laugh, but you don’t laugh. Your cheeks are flushed, angry, embarrassed. Josuke took your first kiss. Mommy told you to save your first kiss for someone you’ll get married to one day. Your lips burn for the amount of times you tried rubbing it with the back of your sleeve. Josuke apologizes, but he can’t seem to get the words out of his mouth before he’s crying in his hands. That was the first time the teacher called your parents. You’re a good kid. Josuke is too. But the other students tell the teacher how mean you are to Josuke, and besides, he’s just a boy.

[☮︎] doing whatever it takes •••

Burn his books. Discard his hard earned sneakers. Lock him in bathrooms. Dump his lunch in the gardens. Flick nails his way. Bold, hungry for release, to shake Josuke off. To find yourself with your foot on his shoulder, pushing him further down as he apologizes for upsetting you.

You’re disgusted with yourself, disgusted at him for allowing this to further continue. Did he enjoy the back of your hand against his face, nails that dig itself in his arms to push him away from getting any closer?

You tried everything that would make him lose interest in you, make him hate you and see how bothersome he was. As usual, Josuke trails behind. Recalling a time during events where parents joined to see how well their kids were doing, Josuke’s mom was like an angel compared to him. You almost felt bad, Josuke lied for you—the times you asked him to meet up at parks in dangerous parts of the town.

She talked so highly of you, thanking you for watching over her son. You had the urge to yell at him, and her for feeding into his delusions as he gave you the tightest of hugs. They’re watching, and you didn’t have the nerve to push him off.

Josuke’s hugs hurt, you can tell he’s holding it back. You’re unsure why you let him stick around longer than usual, pity for his mother caused you to soften perhaps…. Things began to settle slowly, the tidal waves of your hate dwindled as you gave up. Not completely, never, not when he tells you ‘how happy you make him’ and along the lines of “I hate seeing you upset, you being happy makes me happy.”

[☮︎] karma favors him •••

“What sick fuck did this to you?”

Your friends single eye weakly looks up at you. Her head isn’t able to move, supported by various of bandages that cover her head to toe.

Hearing your voice made the heartbeat monitor pick up, resulting in you grabbing at her face gently to stop her from panicking. Her chest heaves up and down as small gurgling sounds leave her lips, casted arms shakily crawl up to your sleeve as her dry lips part and close like a fish gaping. It was painful to see her like this, it made you felt responsible.

“It’s Josuke. Isn’t it?”

Your left eye twitch as you groan to yourself, pressing your head towards their chest. Like yours, it beats, it’s fast and furious against your eardrums.

Should you feel angry at the moment? Confront him and report it to the police. But you doubt your friend would have the guts to confess, and who would believe you over sweet, kind Josuke?

[☮︎] it’s not your fault ••• you know that?

You don’t get into many fights. Ones that involve scratching and biting, that only occurred on a day during the seventh grade. Father’s Day. You put on your best outfit that day, your mother did your hair too. You clung onto your father as he shakes hands with other parents, refusing to make eye contact with Josuke who came with his mother instead. You never really asked him about his father. Your father encouraged you to play as the adults discuss about things. Faintly hearing the praise of Miss Higashikata for coming, for being such an upstanding mother and filling that role for Josuke.

Influence is a strong force to be reckoned with, you felt powerful being with your friends as you corner Josuke.

“Josuke has no father, how does he become a man?”

“He doesn’t, he’s just a sissy like his mama.”

You don’t say anything. There’s a lot you want to say, but now wasn’t the time. You want to relish in this moment, watch him look for you for help like he always did.

“I’m not a sissy! Don’t talk bad about my mother, she’s better than all of yours.” The doors are locked. Who locked it?

You’re getting riled up just by being there, fists clenched by your sides when Josuke pushes past the others to reach for you.

“Tell them, [Name]! I told my mother about you, she told me we’d marry one day!”

Your friends laugh again. It’s taunting, it’s hurting your head as you glare at him. Marry? Did he think he had a chance, with you? The word itself makes you bold, grabbing the collar of his shirt as you point a finger at his nose daringly.

“Who said I’m marrying you? I wouldn’t wanna marry a fucking loser with that hairstyle, you’re so gullible if you think I’d say yes!”

Your neck nearly snaps to the other side. A series of gasps and screams echo through your brain, confused, yet you bring your head against his. His pompadour isn’t safe as the both of you smash into one another. Josuke’s nails claw at your cheek, grabbing onto you as he slams you against the wall nearby, with furious kicks to his stomach you both put up a fight for control. You bite onto his hand when he tries to cover your mouth, he doesn’t flinch but tightens his hold on you.

Your friends have already left the room, yelling and running down the halls in hope a grown up was around.

“Don’t say that! Don’t say that, you don’t mean it, say you don’t mean it [Name]!! I love you, please, I don’t want to hurt you!”

He cries out. Crying, crying, crying. You grit your teeth against his hand as you deeply inhale. Your mouth taste funny, not knowing you bit through flesh to draw blood as you punch his cheek. Your hair, ruffled as you gain the upper hand by biting harder. Josuke shrieks from the pain, falling on his back as you straddle him. Hit him. Again. Again. Again. It’s making your knuckles hurt. But you keep going. Even when he holds you closer by burying his head in your stomach.

“I hate you! I hate you, Higashikata! I never wanna see you again!!”

You repeat it like it’s the only thing you wanted to say, needed to say, you scream and kick when you’re pulled off of him. Flailing your arms and legs to be free. Frenzied, your pupils are blown wide after seeing Josuke curl up to his mother and the many of adults surrounding. You’re crying too. You don’t want to be a crybaby. But you sob louder when dragged away and into your own fathers arm.

[☮︎] confessions •••

The note inside your locker felt like a curse beginning to arise. It reeks of his cologne, heavy and musky of a scent you complimented on a man taking the bus. Ever since Josuke has worn it. There’s little chatter from behind you that has your clothes stick to your body like glue. Hesitating, before taking the note out of your locker to quickly skim through it; balcony, just you and him. Him.

You shouldn’t go, but your legs have a mind of its own. Each step up the stairs were like unlocking every waking moment with Josuke. Was he ready to seal it all? Push you off the balcony or confess once again. This time, you aren’t sure if you could reject him as usual.

Teeth clatter against one another, trying to sooth your nerves by running a hand behind your neck. The ends of your hair stand up straight now you realize you’re at your final destination. Shutting and opening your eyes, as if you didn’t open them quicker you feared Josuke would be in front of you, you’re so scared it’s stupid, facing your problem, it’s all coming down to this point as your fingers find the handles to the door and push open.

“I didn’t actually think you’d show up.”

His hands are in his pockets, leaning against the wall with an unreadable expression. The tone is playful, but being playful has to make your brows twitch, lips curl, anything, to look playful. Josuke doesn’t look playful even if he sounds like it. You don’t miss the way your voice cracks as you let out a nervous laugh.

“What’s it to you….. What do you want, Higashikata? I don’t got all day.”

That’s right. The graduation ceremony ended an hour ago. Friends and families are outside. But they’re not up here. He pushes himself off so effortlessly. The heel of his nice sneakers make your brain itch for how loud it is. Silent as he positions in front of you. That same, sickly smell of cologne slaps you right in the face.

“I’ve been thinking. You know. Us?” You frown. Narrowing your eyes as you take a step back for space. “I took what you said. I wasn’t being thoughtful. Always bothering you, and I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, [Name].”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry. That you had to push me away. Throw my things in the lake, steal my money. Hell, what else was there?”

“Are you fucking with me?”

Your tongue gets stuck in your throat. Blanked out. But something feels wrong. The weight on your shoulders you’ve endured those many years burn heavily. An apology should’ve lifted it. But it doesn’t.

“I do feel horrible, honest! But, I can’t really let you walk away scotch free from this. You looked so comfortable, I want to be a part of that. Maybe that beating you gave me did something to my head, haha, I can’t…I can’t forgive you, [Name]. You reaaally hurt my feelings.”

Josuke grabs the side of your head without warning, choking on your own spit as your head slams against the door behind you. Your vision turns white for a split second before he grinds your head, the cold, metal door creaking under your weight. He pulls back before doing it again, you don’t get the chance to stop him as you panic.

“I think about it day and night. You were such a strong willed person, that’s what I like about you. You had a goal, dreams, and achievements, but it doesn’t seem all that fair.”

Josuke sighs, your hands snap to his wrist to tug him off. Warm blood trickles down your forehead and the right side of your cheek.

“It’s selfish. I try though, I really did, you deserve so much better. But does it excuse how I had to suffer. I would’ve liked it better if you just pretended it was all fine. I hoped one day, you would like me back. I did so much for you.”

He’s rambling. All the while his knuckles knock your breath away, you try to hold onto his collar to make a step forward. Cringing at the wet, cracked sound of your nose. Josuke shuts your mouth with his palm, thumb rubbing circles on your cheek as he shushes you with mockingly, so tenderly. The first thing your body could react was to bite down. Snagging on his flesh as blood makes its way to your lips and tongue. Josuke hisses, your foot knees him in the gut, it’s harder than you remembered.

He pulls away from you with a grunt, letting you break free, cradling your head in your palm to feel the wet liquid make a mess of your face. You hate him so much. You knew he wouldn’t change.

You snarled, messily rubbing your cracked nose. Busted lips and heavy eyes bore into Josuke as he pants, bringing his bitten hand closer to his face.

“Hah— y-you bit me again. Did you know? This was the same spot you had your teeth on before? You left a nasty mark.”

He jokes as if you were mere friends talking about the good old days. And it makes you worried. You keep trying to breathe in through your nose, the adrenaline you felt before is no longer there as you put a hand over your throat. It’s tight. Clawing at nothing, you fall to your knees as you struggle to open your mouth. Wheezing as if an animal had its jaws latched onto it. Josuke makes himself known by blowing a kick to the side of your face. You think a tooth broke.

“Hey, hey, pay attention to me will ya, I’m right here.”

You scream in pain, well, you tried to, his foot is on your chest as he pushes down. Your broken ribcage stabs at your organs, tears have finally made itself vulnerable as they coat your disgusting face. So much for looking presentable for today.

“Does that hurt, [Name]? I could make you feel better.” He’s kneeling in front of you, arms on his bended knees as he plays with your contuse lip. Smearing the blood further and into your mouth. “I always try to make you feel good. I wouldn’t do this but, since you think moving was a good idea I felt it was needed for a demonstration of my hard work. You get me?”

You don’t know if you could hear him right now. The pressure in your throat still present as you claw mercilessly at it. You blink a couple of times, gasping on your own blood as Josuke has his hands cupping your cheeks.

“C’mon babe, I need to hear the magic words. I promise it’ll help the pain, don’t you want to feel good right now?”

You feel so helpless. It’s embarrassing yet your eyes flutter back from the lack of oxygen. The weight is gone.

“Say it, please.”

“…hng..I- ugh—! I love y-you, Josuke…”

You don’t think it’s you. It doesn’t sound like it came from you. And you never think in all your life you would mutter those words to him. But he’s so gentle. Kissing you, soft, loving. You want to spit in his mouth, bite down on his tongue as it evades your mouth, but your body is unresponsive. You’re not even moving silly. But a presence, so warm, makes your aching body feel like you just soaked in the hottest bath in the world. Fighting back doesn’t even cross your mind anymore.

#yandere jjba #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jjba x reader #yandere josuke higashikata #yandere josuke higashikata x reader #reverse bullying is my drinking source #bully!au

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lotsofdreamb0ats · 9 days ago

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kakyoin and his parents are a really weird and underdiscussed part of stardust crusaders. on the watsonian level, there are multiple interpretations you could have of this, and i think its an interesting show of fanon for a character that is pretty beholden to fanon interpretations.

a fairly common consensus i've seen about kakyoin's parents are that they were abusive or at least maliciously negligent.

for the record, i am totally cool with this! kakyoin's family really isn't elaborated on in canon and you can take his subtleties a lot of ways. whether its whump for whumps sake or projection, people are free to interpret the empty holes however they wish.

that being said, i've found myself... idk. not opposed, but disinterested in that take, because the view of kakyoin and his family presented by canon feels way more interesting to me. here's my take & discussion on it!

[meta headcanon-ing below the cut]

from a very young age, kakyoin is an extremely private & emotionally isolated person. this is a trait he has developed from years of feeling like explaining himself to anyone was a futile juncture because no one would believe or understand him, not even his own parents.

when kakyoin's teacher informs his mother abt his lack of desire to make friends, mrs. kakyoin (at least in the anime; cant attest to the manga) shows concern and almost... futility towards the situation. it isn't that the other students don't want to befriend noriaki. rather, noriaki doesn't want to befriend them.

we actually see a similar sentiment in holly, at least through subtext. holly is not wholly unconcerned by jotaro, but she is overly accepting of his poor behavior and struggles to acknowledge her son's flaws. holly views jotaro as younger and less in control of his behavior than he is to the point of willful ignorance.

kakyoin, meanwhile, is in a constant fight with himself over "letting" DIO manipulate and brainwash him. kakyoin is often victim-blaming towards himself -- he is weak and should've known better, should have never let his fear consume him, should have never lost control of himself and given it to DIO.

(dubiously canon material ahead, but shining diamond's demonic heartbreak is vital to my interpretation of kakyoin. treat this as you will.)

kakyoin is at his most distressed and personally tormented when he feels weak and vulnerable. he laments this weakness in himself -- immaturity, he calls it, although that is a translation -- and says no one is to blame for what DIO did unto him except himself.

and all of this, if you continue treating this version of events as canon, is with the added layer that kakyoin was literally protecting his 8-year-old cousin (ryoko-chan <3) while fighting DIO.

(as a side, hierophant green's lesser used powers (notably utilized while kakyoin has a fleshbud and almost never again) involve extreme control and precision. he is quite literally shown to puppet others from the inside using hierophant while operating his own body as well. kakyoin himself says no one can understand him without hierophant green; it isn't farfetched to say hierophant green's abilities reflect its user.)

all of this to say: i don't believe kakyoin's family was abusive in the traditional sense. i think kakyoin is the adultified child to jotaro's infantilized one.

i don't doubt kakyoin loves his parents, but it stands to reason that -- like jotaro with holly, if not more so -- there isn't a respect for his parents authority. adultified children often develop a lack of trust in the people and agencies that are supposed to protect them, like parents or teachers.

if kakyoin has felt like he could only trust himself and hierophant green his entire life, how is he supposed to seek support or protection from his parents? i honestly don't think he would. with hierophant at his side, it's easier (less disappointing) to uphold himself to this extreme standard of strength and maturity than be vulnerable with anyone.

noriaki's mother and father have eachother. noriaki has no one.

(taken from kakyoin's character profile, which you can see in full here.)

based on the flashback, i personally believe kakyoin's parents just... left him to his own devices. if noriaki doesn't want to make friends, it wouldn't be right to push him, is it? he's independent, well-mannered, an excellent student. responsible, trustworthy, far from a delinquent. so isn't it better to accept their son as he is?

even if they're not sure who he is?

as kakyoin is all shattered parts, crumpled against a water tower with a hole in his stomach halfway across the world, he looks at the clock and thinks of his parents.

...but not in search of comfort.

seeing as this is the first and only time kakyoin's parents are mentioned, i honestly wonder if kakyoin just... didn't mention them at all. if he didn't call attention, save the odd comment about being a student, to his age. to the immaturity he's so ashamed of.

(again from kakyoin's character profile.)

kakyoin went on this fifty-day journey to egypt without even consulting his parents, who earnestly believe he ran away from home and are worried to death about him.

and kakyoin KNEW they would worry, and then he knows he is dying, and all he can manage is thoughts of them sleeping and an apology. he doesn't regret going on the journey. even as he's dying, 17-year-old noriaki kakyoin treats his own demise as a necessary loss. in kakyoin's mind, life is something he could (should) wager for those he cares about, and thinking of those who care about him in return isn't enough to convince kakyoin otherwise.

all of this to say, i think kakyoin and jotaro are two sides of the same coin.

#jjba #noriaki kakyoin #stardust crusaders #jjba part 3 #jotaro kujo #kakyoin is one of those vague characters you really have to squint at to understand and i do think this has made him victim to fanon #that doesn't totally align with what HAS been stated in canon. WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE #i am not in the business of ruining anyone's fun. there's leeway with my own interpretations that could lend themselves 2 other concepts #i just have a lot of thoughts on kakyoin and how critically lonely he is + his parents receiving their 17 year old son in a bodybag #even if one is a delinquent and one is a star student. jotaro and kakyoin are extremely similar at their cores #frankly i could extend this parallel into pt4 jotaro becoming an academic but i don't have the knowledge byond pt3 to write a whole lot #once again continuing my streak of “posts that are explicitly not jotakak but also extremely jotakak despite that”#holly kujo #ryoko kakyoin #my headcanons #this was supposed 2 be one of my random ass tangents and then i started citing sources LOL now its a meta post #if any of the mutuals have further thoughts on kakyoin please send them to my asks or reblog this or anything i would love 2 know #hes in my head 2day....

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