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heartlandians · 2 days

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Filling Empty Spaces (Amy/Mitch), part 241

Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around season 11->.

A/N: I didn’t have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won’t be too many grammar errors.

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"So... how was your chickpea curry?" Mitch wanted to know, as they were sat at the dinner table, after Amy set her cutlery on the plate and patted the sides of her mouth with the napkin.

The dinner table was rarely this empty, yet the space had not stayed quiet ever since they had sat down.

The two chairs they sat on had been pulled closer to one another before the eating had began, and Amy and Mitch had spent the lunch catching up with some of the things that had been happening lately.

She had asked Mitch what he had been up to since they had last seen each other and between her questions, he had asked Amy about her homecoming after her stay in the hospital.

"Well... I couldn't really tell you..." Amy admitted, feeling embarrassed that she wasn't able to tell him in detail what she had liked about it - because she had no doubt that he had done his best.

"Really...?" Mitch was surprised.

Even though he had mostly been looking at Amy ever since they had sat down, his eyes now darted to the empty plates that had orange sauce streaks on them.

Had it really been that bland...?

"Huh..." he hummed. "And to think there were onions, garlic, cumin, turmeric, coriander and even some chili in it. I didn't want to make it too spicy, but... I was sure it still had some kick in it."

Amy shook her head.

"It's not that - or I don't think, at least. I'm sure my mouth could taste it, technically, it's just my brain... it's having hard time mapping out some things. It's gotten a bit better, like with smells, but... it's not as it was."

"Oh..." Mitch said, feeling sad about that on her behalf. Not tasting anything but still having to eat had to be strange. "So... how's that been?"

Amy sighed, wanting to be honest, but she also didn't want to sink in too deep. It was hard to find the balance when it came to her outlook on the recovery.

"It definitely hasn't been easy. The injury has affected how I taste and smell, like I said, or more like - how I don't. I'm more clumsy as my spatial awareness is all wacky. Reading, writing... it all takes much longer... Things like that", she listed. "Oh, and I get tired quicker."

Mitch nodded along, trying to process the information.

"And you're now moved in the house?" he checked if he had understood that right.

"Yeah..." Amy said, looking around. "I mean, I miss the loft, I miss the sound of horses... but this was the plan all along - and besides, it's better now when I'm recovering. There's more room to move around, less stairs..."

Mitch nodded. "I'm glad you had the option."

"Yeah..." Amy nodded, then feeling like expanding that thought.

As was often the case in life, there were two sides to the story, however.

"Have to admit that I do feel... a little bit infantilized at times, being here. I mean, it's my home and I feel my best here in many ways, but... waking up from my childhood bedroom, in this state... It has knocked me down a bit mentally, not gonna lie..." she continued.

Mitch nodded along. "Yeah, I can understand that..."

"Even Lyndy has a more grown-up room than I do because she's staying at my mom's old bedroom..." she scoffed out a chuckle, the line between her eyebrows getting deeper.

Mitch put his hand on her knee and rubbed it lightly. He was still careful with touching her, but thankfully she put her hand on his quickly after, showing she allowed it.

"I like to spend a lot of time sitting outside - which, with this weather, is actually nice", Amy shared. "But... even that is not the same as it was as I'm not back doing what I usually do outside."

She then wiped a strand of hair that had fallen from behind her ear back there and hummed. "Sorry... As I'm listening to myself talk, I'm realizing what a ray of sunshine I am..."

"It's okay", Mitch said, squeezing her knee lightly. "You're going through a lot. It's understandable that adjusting takes time. It's good to be honest about how you're feeling."

Amy nodded, knowing that herself, but also wanting to acknowledge that she could hear herself and understand that taking it in could be kind of heavy for an outsider.

"So, by that you mean that you're not spending time with the horses?" Mitch assumed, reading between the lines, and taking a sip of water with his free hand.

He knew that horses were a healing element to Amy and she got a lot from just being around them.

"No", Amy shook her head lightly. "I can't ride, I can't do chores... I've gone to see them, but... like I said, it's not the same."

"We could go see them now", Mitch suggested, "if you want."

Amy's face lit up. "Sure. I'd like that", she said, smiling.

Mitch got up, and the time that it took from Amy to get up and walk to the mudroom and get her boots on, he spent clearing the table and putting the dishes in the sink.

"Ready?" he asked when he got his own boots on and Amy lingered by the screen door.

"Uh-huh", Amy said.

When they walked toward the barn, Amy linked her arm with Mitch's. It made Mitch look. He was still somewhat careful with showing affection, but witnessing Amy initiate things like this, it gave him more encouragement to slowly return to how things had been.

"I missed you so much", Mitch sighed out, feeling free to express that now. "Every morning I woke up thinking about you and every night I went to bed thinking about you... And there was no hour in the day that you didn't cross my mind."

Amy had mixed feelings about hearing that.

"I'm really sorry for all of this", Amy said, wanting to express her regrets over the matter. "I know I didn't mean to hurt myself, but... still. It did happen, and everyone else had to suffer for it too."

Mitch shook his head. "It's okay, don't worry about it. I'm just focusing on you being back now. It's all I wanted."

"Still", Amy tugged his arm a little, hoping he would understand how sorry she was. "It's weird to think what everyone went through when I was in a coma. It seems like so many things happened and the emotional rollercoaster was never-ending... And for me it just felt like a blink of an eye. For the most part."

"Was it like... sleeping... or...?" Mitch asked concernedly when they passed the Quonset hut.

Amy thought about it. "Not really. It's hard to explain. It wasn't the being in the coma that was the weirdest part, because... well, I wasn't doing anything. But coming to... that was a nightmare. I still wake up feeling traumatized over it."

Mitch looked on his right with worry written all over his face.

"But maybe it'll get better over time, like everything else - or at least that's what the doctors said", Amy tried to focus on the positive. "Not like I have much to do anyway but rest..."

"You know... I came to see you at the hospital once", Mitch shared with her after a beat, still having mixed feelings about that.

Amy looked at him. "You did...? I'm not sure that I knew that", she said, knowing that these days some things easily escaped her mind.

Mitch nodded. "Yeah. Lou didn't tell you?"

"No", Amy said, shaking her head lightly, trying not to get dizzy. "She did tell me about your idea about having strands of Spartan's mane there, though. It was good thinking - it did help me."

Mitch smiled. He had not heard how that had gone before this moment. "I'm glad to hear that."

There was a moment of silence as they approached the sliding door of the barn.

"So, you and Lou get along now", Amy stated her observation. "Have to say I didn't see that one coming, even though it has been surprisingly nice how things have been with Lou when it comes to you and me", she confessed.

"So she's been civil...?" Mitch asked, almost as if to check on Lou's follow-through.

"Uh-huh", Amy said when they stepped in the barn. "I guess what happened to me really scared her. I'm not proud of what I put everyone through, but becoming closer with Lou again has definitely been one good thing to come out of this. I did miss having my sister in my life and being able to talk to her about things."

Mitch nodded, understanding that. He was happy to hear that there had apparently not been more drama between the two sisters.

"I'm glad everything that happened didn't breach your trust in her", he said sincerely.

Amy walked to Spartan, but furrowed her brows. "My trust in her...?" she echoed, wondering what that meant. "More like the other way around."

Mitch watched Amy, feeling like he may have put his foot in his mouth. He had a suspicion maybe Amy didn't either know about Lou's invasion of privacy or he had judged the bond between the Fleming sisters all wrong and Amy was more forgiving than him.

If it was the first option, he would be so annoyed with Lou. How come she had not told Amy yet?

"What...?" Amy asked when Mitch stayed quiet.

Mitch lifted his head a little.

"What?" he repeated, almost like he was afraid he had spoken something out loud without meaning to.

"You suddenly got quiet", Amy observed, stroking Spartan's muzzle.

Mitch wanted to tell her, but he had made a deal with Lou about her being the one doing the right thing and being honest with Amy - she had been the one going through Amy's phone, after all.

"Oh, I was just--" Mitch began but then they were both surprised to see someone walk in. He immediately took a step back, toward Venus's empty stall, to create distance between them.

He couldn't hide anymore, but he could at least make it less obvious why he was here.

At first they both froze as they had assumed there was no one else at the ranch right now, but then Amy sighed out of a relief when she realized they had not been caught nor was there an intruder at Heartland.

"Hey", Trace said, greeting them as he carried in more feed for the horses. "Good to see you at the barn, Amy", he commented, putting the bag down, placing it in the small storage space under the stairs that lead to the loft.

"Hey, Trace", Amy said, smiling at him.

Mitch looked confused and his glance went from Trace to Amy to back to Trace.

"Oh, Mitch, this is Trace, our new ranch hand", Amy said, realizing they didn't know each other. "The one I had the job interview with on the day... it happened..." she began explaining, her words fading out the further she got.

"Oh. Right! Hey, it's good to meet you", Mitch said, stepping forward to shake his hand.

Trace took his working glove off and extended his hand. "Good to meet you too, Mitch", he said as he gave Mitch's hand a slight squeeze and a shake.

"Mitch is..." Amy continued her explanation, but then wondered what she should even say. "Visiting", she explained awkwardly.

Thankfully, Trace didn't sense anything "off", as he had no previous experience about seeing the two of them together, but instead he surprised them.

"Mitch Cutty?" Trace checked, pointing a finger at him and feeling pretty confident.

Mitch's eyebrows raised. "Yeah, actually. How did you--"

"Oh, I've seen your name in the logs back at Maggie's. You know the one where we sign orders for Heartland", Trace explained and put his glove back on.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah", Mitch knew what he meant and nodded along. He had worked as a ranch hand at Heartland too not that long ago, so of course his name was still there.

"Anyway. I should get back to work", Trace said, wanting to impress Amy so she didn't have any reason to think he was slacking off. "Oh, and as you may have noticed, I brought Spartan in; I'll take him for a ride soon."

Amy nodded. "Great. Hope he'll be a good boy. Thanks, Trace."

"Bye. It was good to meet you, Mitch", the young man said when he backed away from the barn.

"You too. Bye", Mitch said, giving him a wave.

When the guy disappeared out to continue his chores, Mitch turned to Amy, forgetting what he had even been about to say before the ranch hand had arrived.

"So you did hire him", he stated the obvious. "I was wondering whatever happened on that day with you attending the rodeo and having the job interview at the same time."

"Well, it's a long story, but apparently that happened, yeah", Amy said, turning back to face Mitch while still remaining close to Spartan. "I didn't remember either, but Jade told me. He's been irreplaceable help right now, so I guess I have the past me to thank for making a right choice."

Mitch nodded. "He seemed like a nice guy."

"He is", Amy said, rushing that out as she didn't really want to spend much time talking about Trace. "Listen... I've been thinking..." she wanted to change the subject now that the opening for that had happened.

"About?" Mitch asked and got closer, sliding his hand on Spartan's cheek as the horse sought attention from both of them.

"About us..." Amy continued. "Like... are we still good...? Is this like it was...? I mean, I didn't even know what to say to Trace about you. But then again, I don't know if I should even tell him, because what if he talks to Grandpa..."

Mitch looked at Amy, feeling nervous at the pit of his stomach.

"Well... what do you think...?" Mitch wanted to hear Amy's stance.

Amy hummed, feeling slightly annoyed that Mitch had shifted the focus on her.

But then again, she figured she had to be honest and if that wasn't going to be foundation of their relationship, then maybe it wasn't worth having.

Besides, being straight-forward was the only way to get real answers, Amy thought.

"I'd like it to be", Amy said, "but I understand if my situation has changed things for you."

"Why would it have?" Mitch wondered, tilting his head.

Amy shrugged. "I'm not like I was. I come with more obstacles."

"It hasn't changed my feelings for you", Mitch said. "In fact... if anything, this has only made me realize how strong my feelings are..." he confessed.

"Oh...?" Amy asked, her eyes glistening with anticipation.

"Well, like I said, you were all I could think about when I couldn't get to you. And now that we're here..." he said, slowly reaching out his hand to take hers, "I feel luckier than I have in a while. I'm so thankful I get to have this moment with you. Hopefully there will be many more moments - and days - with you.''

Amy's eyes welled up with happy tears.

"Good, because... when I came out of the coma, I felt this... isolation from my own life. At first I thought maybe it was because I was not at home. But now that I've been here - surrounded by all the familiar things - I still feel it", Amy spoke. "But when I saw you in the kitchen, it felt like that connection I was missing suddenly returned. Like I was more real again, because of you."

Mitch stepped on Amy's side and guided her closer to him.

"I may not remember everything about the rodeo, because I hit my head, but I do remember feeling jealous about how people around me were free to express how they were feeling... How liberated they felt to express their love", Amy said, gently wrapping her arms around Mitch as the butterflies in her stomach grew in size. "And I remember thinking, "I wish I can experience that soon..." And I think... I might."

She looked deep into Mitch's eyes and he could feel the butterflies too. Leaning closer, their lips were about to touch, but then...

"Wait", Mitch requested with a grin and backed into Venus's stall, pulling Amy with him.

"What?" Amy laughed, looking around. "There's no one here."

"Trace might be", Mitch reminded. "We don't know where he's lurking, he's surprised us once already", he added with a humorous tone.

Amy hummed, seeing through the playfullness. She understood why Mitch felt the need to hide - it was because of her; she had wanted to wait to tell others. Amy didn't like making Mitch feel like he was a secret, even though, for now, he was.

"You know..." Amy began as they leaned against each other and her fingers were doing little scritchy-scratchies on the surface of Mitch's jacket while his hands were rubbing her lower back. "I will tell everyone. Because I don't want to keep this a secret anymore. I want to be able to show affection when I want."

Mitch was surprised. "Really...? Are you sure?"

"I am. And I mean it this time", Amy said, gently pulling the sides of Mitch's open jacket. "Now that I'm back to living, I want to live. This is not some type of practice run for life. This is my life."

Mitch felt emotional. He had wanted to take things slow to honour Amy, but he couldn't deny that hearing this felt like a relief. It had been long time coming.

He didn't want to feel like a secret, but more than that he had not wanted to enforce telling people because he knew these things were delicate and coming forward would have only added unnecessary stress on Amy when she was already dealing with so many stressors to begin with.

But now she sounded sure - and he wanted to support her.

"Okay. I'm fine with you telling", Mitch wanted to give her his blessing.

"And you can tell others too, if you want", Amy returned the gesture.

Mitch smiled, feeling lighter in all the ways.

"Can we kiss now?" Amy begged, feeling impatient.

Mitch let out a laugh. "Yes, please..."

They leaned even closer to each other and pressed their lips together, letting the fireworks go off.

It was a kiss that would mark a new chapter for their relationship, in more ways than they could even imagine in that moment.

#heartland #fanfiction #filling empty spaces

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michaeldswanson · 5 months

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Apple’s Mysterious Fisheye Projection

If you’ve read my first post about Spatial Video, the second about Encoding Spatial Video, or if you’ve used my command-line tool, you may recall a mention of Apple’s mysterious “fisheye” projection format. Mysterious because they’ve documented a CMProjectionType.fisheye enumeration with no elaboration, they stream their immersive Apple TV+ videos in this format, yet they’ve provided no method to produce or playback third-party content using this projection type.

Additionally, the format is undocumented, they haven’t responded to an open question on the Apple Discussion Forums asking for more detail, and they didn’t cover it in their WWDC23 sessions. As someone who has experience in this area – and a relentless curiosity – I’ve spent time digging-in to Apple’s fisheye projection format, and this post shares what I’ve learned.

As stated in my prior post, I am not an Apple employee, and everything I’ve written here is based on my own history, experience (specifically my time at immersive video startup, Pixvana, from 2016-2020), research, and experimentation. I’m sure that some of this is incorrect, and I hope we’ll all learn more at WWDC24.

Spherical Content

Imagine sitting in a swivel chair and looking straight ahead. If you tilt your head to look straight up (at the zenith), that’s 90 degrees. Likewise, if you were looking straight ahead and tilted your head all the way down (at the nadir), that’s also 90 degrees. So, your reality has a total vertical field-of-view of 90 + 90 = 180 degrees.

Sitting in that same chair, if you swivel 90 degrees to the left or 90 degrees to the right, you’re able to view a full 90 + 90 = 180 degrees of horizontal content (your horizontal field-of-view). If you spun your chair all the way around to look at the “back half” of your environment, you would spin past a full 360 degrees of content.

When we talk about immersive video, it’s common to only refer to the horizontal field-of-view (like 180 or 360) with the assumption that the vertical field-of-view is always 180. Of course, this doesn’t have to be true, because we can capture whatever we’d like, edit whatever we’d like, and playback whatever we’d like.

But when someone says something like VR180, they really mean immersive video that has a 180-degree horizontal field-of-view and a 180-degree vertical field-of-view. Similarly, 360 video is 360-degrees horizontally by 180-degrees vertically.

Projections

When immersive video is played back in a device like the Apple Vision Pro, the Meta Quest, or others, the content is displayed as if a viewer’s eyes are at the center of a sphere watching video that is displayed on its inner surface. For 180-degree content, this is a hemisphere. For 360-degree content, this is a full sphere. But it can really be anything in between; at Pixvana, we sometimes referred to this as any-degree video.

It's here where we run into a small problem. How do we encode this immersive, spherical content? All the common video codecs (H.264, VP9, HEVC, MV-HEVC, AVC1, etc.) are designed to encode and decode data to and from a rectangular frame. So how do you take something like a spherical image of the Earth (i.e. a globe) and store it in a rectangular shape? That sounds like a map to me. And indeed, that transformation is referred to as a map projection.

Equirectangular

While there are many different projection types that each have useful properties in specific situations, spherical video and images most commonly use an equirectangular projection. This is a very simple transformation to perform (it looks more complicated than it is). Each x location on a rectangular image represents a longitude value on a sphere, and each y location represents a latitude. That’s it. Because of these relationships, this kind of projection can also be called a lat/long.

Imagine “peeling” thin one-degree-tall strips from a globe, starting at the equator. We start there because it’s the longest strip. To transform it to a rectangular shape, start by pasting that strip horizontally across the middle of a sheet of paper (in landscape orientation). Then, continue peeling and pasting up or down in one-degree increments. Be sure to stretch each strip to be as long as the first, meaning that the very short strips at the north and south poles are stretched a lot. Don’t break them! When you’re done, you’ll have a 360-degree equirectangular projection that looks like this.

If you did this exact same thing with half of the globe, you’d end up with a 180-degree equirectangular projection, sometimes called a half-equirect. Performed digitally, it’s common to allocate the same number of pixels to each degree of image data. So, for a full 360-degree by 180-degree equirect, the rectangular video frame would have an aspect ratio of 2:1 (the horizontal dimension is twice the vertical dimension). For 180-degree by 180-degree video, it’d be 1:1 (a square). Like many things, these aren’t hard and fast rules, and for technical reasons, sometimes frames are stretched horizontally or vertically to fit within the capabilities of an encoder or playback device.

This is a 180-degree half equirectangular image overlaid with a grid to illustrate its distortions. It was created from the standard fisheye image further below. Watch an animated version of this transformation.

What we’ve described so far is equivalent to monoscopic (2D) video. For stereoscopic (3D) video, we need to pack two of these images into each frame…one for each eye. This is usually accomplished by arranging two images in a side-by-side or over/under layout. For full 360-degree stereoscopic video in an over/under layout, this makes the final video frame 1:1 (because we now have 360 degrees of image data in both dimensions). As described in my prior post on Encoding Spatial Video, though, Apple has chosen to encode stereo video using MV-HEVC, so each eye’s projection is stored in its own dedicated video layer, meaning that the reported video dimensions match that of a single eye.

Standard Fisheye

Most immersive video cameras feature one or more fisheye lenses. For 180-degree stereo (the short way of saying stereoscopic) video, this is almost always two lenses in a side-by-side configuration, separated by ~63-65mm, very much like human eyes (some 180 cameras).

The raw frames that are captured by these cameras are recorded as fisheye images where each circular image area represents ~180 degrees (or more) of visual content. In most workflows, these raw fisheye images are transformed into an equirectangular or half-equirectangular projection for final delivery and playback.

This is a 180 degree standard fisheye image overlaid with a grid. This image is the source of the other images in this post.

Apple’s Fisheye

This brings us to the topic of this post. As I stated in the introduction, Apple has encoded the raw frames of their immersive videos in a “fisheye” projection format. I know this, because I’ve monitored the network traffic to my Apple Vision Pro, and I’ve seen the HLS streaming manifests that describe each of the network streams. This is how I originally discovered and reported that these streams – in their highest quality representations – are ~50Mbps, HDR10, 4320x4320 per eye, at 90fps.

While I can see the streaming manifests, I am unable to view the raw video frames, because all the immersive videos are protected by DRM. This makes perfect sense, and while I’m a curious engineer who would love to see a raw fisheye frame, I am unwilling to go any further. So, in an earlier post, I asked anyone who knew more about the fisheye projection type to contact me directly. Otherwise, I figured I’d just have to wait for WWDC24.

Lo and behold, not a week or two after my post, an acquaintance introduced me to Andrew Chang who said that he had also monitored his network traffic and noticed that the Apple TV+ intro clip (an immersive version of this) is streamed in-the-clear. And indeed, it is encoded in the same fisheye projection. Bingo! Thank you, Andrew!

Now, I can finally see a raw fisheye video frame. Unfortunately, the frame is mostly black and featureless, including only an Apple TV+ logo and some God rays. Not a lot to go on. Still, having a lot of experience with both practical and experimental projection types, I figured I’d see what I could figure out. And before you ask, no, I’m not including the actual logo, raw frame, or video in this post, because it’s not mine to distribute.

Immediately, just based on logo distortions, it’s clear that Apple’s fisheye projection format isn’t the same as a standard fisheye recording. This isn’t too surprising, given that it makes little sense to encode only a circular region in the center of a square frame and leave the remainder black; you typically want to use all the pixels in the frame to send as much data as possible (like the equirectangular format described earlier).

Additionally, instead of seeing the logo horizontally aligned, it’s rotated 45 degrees clockwise, aligning it with the diagonal that runs from the upper-left to the lower-right of the frame. This makes sense, because the diagonal is the longest dimension of the frame, and as a result, it can store more horizontal (post-rotation) pixels than if the frame wasn’t rotated at all.

This is the same standard fisheye image from above transformed into a format that seems very similar to Apple’s fisheye format. Watch an animated version of this transformation.

Likewise, the diagonal from the lower-left to the upper-right represents the vertical dimension of playback (again, post-rotation) providing a similar increase in available pixels. This means that – during rotated playback – the now-diagonal directions should contain the least amount of image data. Correctly-tuned, this likely isn’t visible, but it’s interesting to note.

More Pixels

You might be asking, where do these “extra” pixels come from? I mean, if we start with a traditional raw circular fisheye image captured from a camera and just stretch it out to cover a square frame, what have we gained? Those are great questions that have many possible answers.

This is why I liken video processing to turning knobs in a 747 cockpit: if you turn one of those knobs, you more-than-likely need to change something else to balance it out. Which leads to turning more knobs, and so on. Video processing is frequently an optimization problem just like this. Some initial thoughts:

It could be that the source video is captured at a higher resolution, and when transforming the video to a lower resolution, the “extra” image data is preserved by taking advantage of the square frame.

Perhaps the camera optically transforms the circular fisheye image (using physical lenses) to fill more of the rectangular sensor during capture. This means that we have additional image data to start and storing it in this expanded fisheye format allows us to preserve more of it.

Similarly, if we record the image using more than two lenses, there may be more data to preserve during the transformation. For what it’s worth, it appears that Apple captures their immersive videos with a two-lens pair, and you can see them hiding in the speaker cabinets in the Alicia Keys video.

There are many other factors beyond the scope of this post that can influence the design of Apple’s fisheye format. Some of them include distortion handling, the size of the area that’s allocated to each pixel, where the “most important” pixels are located in the frame, how high-frequency details affect encoder performance, how the distorted motion in the transformed frame influences motion estimation efficiency, how the pixels are sampled and displayed during playback, and much more.

Blender

But let’s get back to that raw Apple fisheye frame. Knowing that the image represents ~180 degrees, I loaded up Blender and started to guess at a possible geometry for playback based on the visible distortions. At that point, I wasn’t sure if the frame encodes faces of the playback geometry or if the distortions are related to another kind of mathematical mapping. Some of the distortions are more severe than expected, though, and my mind couldn’t imagine what kind of mesh corrected for those distortions (so tempted to blame my aphantasia here, but my spatial senses are otherwise excellent).

One of the many meshes and UV maps that I’ve experimented with in Blender.

Radial Stretching

If you’ve ever worked with projection mappings, fisheye lenses, equirectangular images, camera calibration, cube mapping techniques, and so much more, Google has inevitably led you to one of Paul Bourke’s many fantastic articles. I’ve exchanged a few e-mails with Paul over the years, so I reached out to see if he had any insight.

After some back-and-forth discussion over a couple of weeks, we both agreed that Apple’s fisheye projection is most similar to a technique called radial stretching (with that 45-degree clockwise rotation thrown in). You can read more about this technique and others in Mappings between Sphere, Disc, and Square and Marc B. Reynolds’ interactive page on Square/Disc mappings.

Basically, though, imagine a traditional centered, circular fisheye image that touches each edge of a square frame. Now, similar to the equirectangular strip-peeling exercise I described earlier with the globe, imagine peeling one-degree wide strips radially from the center of the image and stretching those along the same angle until they touch the edge of the square frame. As the name implies, that’s radial stretching. It’s probably the technique you’d invent on your own if you had to come up with something.

By performing the reverse of this operation on a raw Apple fisheye frame, you end up with a pretty good looking version of the Apple TV+ logo. But, it’s not 100% correct. It appears that there is some additional logic being used along the diagonals to reduce the amount of radial stretching and distortion (and perhaps to keep image data away from the encoded corners). I’ve experimented with many approaches, but I still can’t achieve a 100% match. My best guess so far uses simple beveled corners, and this is the same transformation I used for the earlier image.

It's also possible that this last bit of distortion could be explained by a specific projection geometry, and I’ve iterated over many permutations that get close…but not all the way there. For what it’s worth, I would be slightly surprised if Apple was encoding to a specific geometry because it adds unnecessary complexity to the toolchain and reduces overall flexibility.

While I have been able to playback the Apple TV+ logo using the techniques I’ve described, the frame lacks any real detail beyond its center. So, it’s still possible that the mapping I’ve arrived at falls apart along the periphery. Guess I’ll continue to cross my fingers and hope that we learn more at WWDC24.

Conclusion

This post covered my experimentation with the technical aspects of Apple’s fisheye projection format. Along the way, it’s been fun to collaborate with Andrew, Paul, and others to work through the details. And while we were unable to arrive at a 100% solution, we’re most definitely within range.

The remaining questions I have relate to why someone would choose this projection format over half-equirectangular. Clearly Apple believes there are worthwhile benefits, or they wouldn’t have bothered to build a toolchain to capture, process, and stream video in this format. I can imagine many possible advantages, and I’ve enumerated some of them in this post. With time, I’m sure we’ll learn more from Apple themselves and from experiments that all of us can run when their fisheye format is supported by existing tools.

It's an exciting time to be revisiting immersive video, and we have Apple to thank for it.

As always, I love hearing from you. It keeps me motivated! Thank you for reading.

#spatial #apple vision pro #video

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blue1amory · 1 year

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A cute blind soul

bts ot7 x reader

PROLOUGE - CHAPTER ONE

～*～♡～*～♥～*～♡～*～♥～*～♡～*～♥～*～♡～*～

Living with her aunt proved to be an unconventional experience for Selia. Strikingly, her aunt's voice exhibited an uncanny resemblance to that of her mother, eliciting a sense of familiarity within her. However, Selia's sight impairment prevented her from visually confirming whether her physical appearance mirrored that of her maternal figure. It is noteworthy to mention that Selia is legally blind, impeding her ability to perceive familial similarities.

Despite these challenges, Selia quickly established a structured routine within the initial days of her arrival at her aunt's residence. Determined to acclimate herself to the new setting, she navigated through each room she had acquainted herself with, methodically endeavoring to visualize the spatial arrangement of furniture. This process entailed mentally mapping out the placement of each item, thereafter actively engaging with the physicality of these objects. For instance, Selia purposefully sought out the couch and carefully seated herself upon it as a means of refining her understanding of spatial placement in her aunt's residence.

Consequently, two weeks elapsed, during which time she made significant progress in her mobility. She achieved the remarkable milestone of being able to navigate her way to both the kitchen and the toilets unassisted, without relying on her white cone for direction. Equally noteworthy is her newfound independence, as she no longer requires the constant guidance of her aunt. This transition towards self-sufficiency was crucial for her personal growth, as she recognized the importance of acquiring the necessary skills to navigate her surroundings independently.

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"Are you experiencing a sense of anticipation and joy, Selia?" her aunt's voice resonated within the confines of the room. Selia let out a deep sigh, her response tinged with weariness. "Aunt, my birthday is merely a week away, and I must confess that I do not feel the anticipated excitement. The loss of my parents still weighs heavily upon me, and it has not even been three weeks since their passing," Selia retorted, her words laced with sadness rather than anger. Her aunt, undeterred by Selia's somber state, responded with an optimistic tone. "I understand the immense pain of their departure, Selia. However, as you turn twenty, you will receive your first glimpse of your soulmate, and that prospect alone should ignite a sense of elation within you. It is a remarkable occurrence." Selia emitted an odd sound before inquiring, "What exactly is a soulmate?"

Selia's aunt sighed softly before proceeding with her explanation, her tone carrying a mix of concern and empathy. "Selia, it appears that your parents never shared with you the story of their profound soulmate connection. Allow me to shed light on this concept for you. A soulmate, in essence, represents an individual's complementary counterpart. It denotes an extraordinary and deeply meaningful relationship that surpasses superficial attractions and chemistry. Instead, it is founded upon a profound bond rooted in shared values, beliefs, and experiences."

She continued, emphasizing the significance of understanding and acceptance within a soulmate relationship. "This connection is characterized by a mutual understanding and acceptance of one another. A soulmate becomes the person with whom you can be most authentic and true to yourself, free from any inhibitions or pretenses. It is within this unique relationship that trust flourishes, enabling individuals to confide in their soulmates with utmost confidence."

Selia's aunt sought to convey the depth and significance of a soulmate connection, highlighting its capacity to empower individuals to be their most genuine selves.

Selia posed a question to her aunt, her curiosity evident in her tone. "Where is your soulmate?" Her aunt, overcome with a tinge of melancholy, released a sorrowful sigh before responding. "I once believed that your father was my soulmate, as we dated for two years. However, it turned out that my assumption was not true."

Selia, grappling with the practicality of finding a soulmate, expressed her dilemma. "How does one actually go about finding their soulmate? It's not as though I can venture out into the world and proclaim, 'Who is my soulmate?'" Her aunt emitted a soft chuckle before providing an answer. "On your twentieth birthday, a tattoo bearing the name or symbol of your soulmate will manifest on your skin. Moreover, on the day you encounter your soulmate, certain inexplicable occurrences may transpire. For instance, you may notice a shift in your favorite color or experience a peculiar sensation of tasting what they are eating. These signs will manifest multiple times until you and your soulmate finally cross paths, serving as guideposts in your journey towards finding one another."

Selia found herself contemplating the words her aunt had spoken regarding soulmates. The timing seemed peculiar - why did she have to discover the whereabouts of her soulmate after her twentieth birthday? Overwhelmed by the recent loss of her parents, Selia had secluded herself within her aunt's house for the past two weeks, engulfed in sorrow. In this state of isolation, she pondered how she could possibly find her soulmate while hiding away from the outside world.

She mused that it was unrealistic to expect that they could communicate by simply speaking their address aloud, as if their souls would guide them to each other. Such a notion seemed implausible. However, Selia also believed that having a significant other was an unattainable dream. Despite her doubts, she hoped that her soulmate, if they were to cross paths, would accept her blindness and choose not to abandon her.

In an optimistic anticipatiion, it is hoped that Selia's endeavors will transpire seamlessly and devoid of any complications. This positive outlook stems form the expectation that all aspects of her undertaking will transpire in a smooth and faultless manner. May Selia's journey be met with uneventful progress and accurate executauin, ultimately leading to happiness.

#bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts #bts yoongi #bts taehyung #bts namjoon #bts jin #bts jhope #poly #kpop #bts ot7 x reader #bts ot7

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j29736 · 7 months

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Miltown Study of Spatial Distribution (Book 2)

DECODING THE MATRIX BLINDS (Scene 1 - Splatoon, स्पलैश कार्टून): With the creation of the internet, we as a human species have never been able to communicate so quickly with one another using our senses of sight and sound. Vision and hearing have rapidly sped up on our screens and in major cities. The algorithms of these systems allow the powers that have influence over our society to influence our psyche to a profound degree which wasn't possible before. The internet and modern society has a way of making your perspective echo, making you feel trapped in a room full of mirrors, so one way to get around this is to rely on your other senses such as your ability to taste and smell. Your nose can detect food before your eyes or ears do. If you close your eyes and do a blind taste testing, you can figure out what food you're eating before your eyes or ears tell you. We also have other senses like hot and cold, a sense of thirst, a sense of wetness, your sense of touch, and a sense of heaviness and weightlessness. The more you give attention and energy to these senses, the more in-tune you'll be with them. We all have different bodies and what we put in our bodies will affect us all differently because we're all in different situations so get to know your body and not just the flashing lights! Sometimes it's okay to close your eyes, and sit in nature and feel the grass and plants around you. Slow down a little bit sometimes, and don't forget to breathe.

PHYSICAL PLANE AND MEMORY (Scene 2 - Kipo, Hauʻoli): When you write something down or take a picture, you can pick it up back up later and the physical reality will remind you of what you forgot, and it can do it on command. Your dreams can't do that, and that's how you know that the physical plane of existence isn't simply just your subconscious. Your body isn't a computer, neither is your life. If you forget something, but know where to find the information, the physical reality can not only show you what you forgot but surprise you with new information that you weren't expecting. Another way the physical reality can surprise you is by learning another language. I use Duolingo for that!

THE DICE METHOD (Scene 3 - Rivals 2, Uthingo Amaqhawe): Another way to get in touch with the physical plane of existence is by utilizing a dice cube. They say "well the dice cube can be emulated and you just BELIEVE that you're seeing a 3-Dimensional dice cube when your brain could just be in a cyrogenic cooling tower". Well, okay. If that's something that worries you, then try this: Get a dice cube that's a little bit bigger, like a fluffy mirror dice. That way, you can roll it slower if you want to and FEEL the metaphysical reality. Personally, I use a method where I connect the dice to letters. I will include some pictures and a video in a link to show you how I do this method. https://www.tumblr.com/j29736/742878924093145088/the-dice-method-linking-a-dice-cube-to-letters I usually use this method to come up with 3 letters and then look up words starting with those 3 letters, or finding countries or cities on a map at random, or whatever it is that I feel like doing with it. You can come up with your own methods as well or use mine.

SIMULTANEOUS THOUGHT WAVES (Scene 4 - Class of 3000, Darasa La 3000): In this scene in Class of 3000, Sunny and Madison are having a conversation about setting Sunny up on a date with someone who has feelings for him, but neither Madison or Sunny are aware that while Sunny wants to go on a date with Ms. Lopez, Madison is assuming that Sunny wants to go on a date with Ms. Squattinchowder and both Sunny and Madison confirm the date while being in completely different trains of thought. This is a very common aspect of life, where two or more people can have two completely trains of thoughts at the same time, because each person is holding onto their own memory and inner world which is unique to them. What's great about living in a democracy as opposed to a dictatorship or oligarchy is that when each person is allowed to freely have their own inner voice to express themselves to the world in a way that doesn't harm others, we get a much bigger bigger display of creativity in the world as a whole. The world is so much more vibrant and beautiful when everyone is able to be themselves.

DNA MEMORY SYNTHESIZATION (Scene 5 - Moon Girl, מון גירל ושדינוזאור): So we came up with a theory to describe what happens every time you have Deja Vu. Every time that you die, you are reborn back into the body that you were born in when you were a baby. Each time you are reborn, you are given what is called Past-Life Memory Recall and you get it from your DNA sequence which goes all the way back in your bloodline to your original ancestors. We assume that this theory is true when coupled with the "Giant Crunch" Universe theory. The theory goes that when the univese started, there was the Big Bang which created the cosmological forces of nature. "The Big Crunch is a hypothetical scenario for the ultimate fate of the universe, in which the expansion of the universe eventually reverses and the universe recollapses, ultimately causing the cosmic scale factor to reach zero, an event potentially followed by a reformation of the universe starting with another Big Bang." This is why you may know something is going to happen before it happens, or why sometimes you might be thinking of something specific and then other people around you in the room start saying exactly what you're thinkning, it's because you've been here before! If you don't remember, that's okay. A lot of the time, the more you focus on tapping into your Past-Life Memory Recall, the stronger it becomes. It is another theory, also, that each time the universe resets, all living beings on planet earth get a little bit better at harmonizing with each other because the DNA structures allow us to become a little bit more wise with each reincarnation.

POWERS OF THE SPOKEN WORD (Scene 6 - Aggretsuko, アグレッシブ烈子): Not only do we have our own thought patterns, but we are also given the conscious choice of whether or not we are going to let a thought pass, or if we are going to speak or act on those thoughts. We can have intrusive thoughts all the time, but our willpower is the ultimate deciding factor in deciding whether or not we are going to let those intrusive thoughts overwhelm us, or if we are going to find the thoughts that we truly believe and identify with and stand on those instead. Each time that you speak your thoughts out loud, your words carry a physical vibration which is felt by the entire world around you. Each time you speak, speak with purpose, and choose your words wisely. Your words will not only affect the life you're living now, but it will carry into your next life as well, possibly in unexpected ways. Your tongue is powerful, there's a reason WORDS are made up of SPELLINGS. Your words are literally spells.

THE SACREDNESS OF HUMAN-LIFE (Scene 7 - Overwatch, Tó éí iiná’ at’é!): In Overwatch, there is a game mode where all players must work as a team to get a moving vehicle from one side of the area to the other side before the time runs out. The goal of the other team is to halt the vehicle long enough for the time to reach zero. The feeling of working together as a team is unmatched and the ability to work with other, real life human beings as opposed to working with computers just brings about so many emotions. Working with other people can bring about feelings of excitement, joy, fun, and love. When we have real companionship in this life, and we can truly feel that companionship in our spirit and our hearts, it gives meaning to our lives. There's a big wave of A.I. nowadays that wants to replace artists, musicians, voice actors, and other creatives with computer prompts. If we keep doing that, we are effectively removing aspects of what makes each and every person on this planet so creative. It's not just that a person can illustrate well, it's that each stroke of their paintbrush is an expression of that person's inner creativity and what makes them who they are. Don't you love being in a room full of creative people and hearing the ideas that they have to share in ways that you weren't expecting? Collaborating as a team is not only fun, but it allows mankind to progress faster when we work together.

FRIENDLY COMPETITION AND INNOVATION (Scene 8 - Brawlhalla, Clube De Luta): Not all technology is bad! Technology, like anything else, just needs to be used for the right things, things that inspire and uplift humanity instead of destroying it. Because of computers and technology, we now have video games, television and cartoons which allow us to enjoy creative stories and entertainment in a way that was impossible a century ago. We can now tell stories not just through words, illustrations and paintings, but with moving characters alongside an entire soundtrack, sound effects and acting. If we get angry or bored, instead of just going out and starting a war, we could just play a competitive video game or duke it out in an arcade or in a gymnasium! We now have the ability to mass produce sports equipment if we want to play basketball or soccer or whatever you want! If someone tries to fight you, instead of getting beat up or beating them up, you could just use a taser or a tranquilizer gun. We now have GPS on our smartphones which allows us to connect with people and places faster than ever before. Heating and Air Conditioning in every home protects us when there's bad weather, and airplanes have allowed us to transport food all over the globe. Video games remove a lot of barriers in the human psyche which allow us to connect with each other in ways never thought possible before. Scared of Sharks? Try playing as a Shark with arms and legs and a Sword! Go ahead, get your feet wet don't be shy!

PROTECTING THE COLLECTIVE CULTURE (Scene 9 - Tuca & Bertie, Noog Phooj Ywg): So there's 8 Billion people living on planet earth, and there's also the wildlife being the animals and plants. Of those 8 Billion people, everyone desires a fair slice of those 8 Billion Pie Slices to be happy with what they need to survive and pursue their own dreams and fun. Personally, I think we should protect everything that moves. The humans, the animals, and even the venus fly traps that indicate that they want to live by the fact that they move their mouths, showing that they have a desire to eat. It would be nice if all humans were provided with the basic necessities they needed to survive for free: Fruits, Vegetables, Water, Shelter, Bathrooms, Showers, Clothes, Beds, Blankets, Pillows, Hygiene Products (don't forget feminine hygiene), Laundry, Weather Protection (such as Umbrellas), Electricity, Heat/Air, Transportation, Education, Healthcare, International Travel, Internet, Smartphones, and Windows Computers. You shouldn't need a birth certificate or social security card to get these things either, they should just be provided for free. The ID system that we have shouldn't be so hard for homeless and marginalized people. After that, I'd advocate for a free market system where everyone is free to run their own business to buy and sell with others. It would be nice to make sure that everyone had the right to survive first, and then let people have the option to get extra fun stuff that they want by getting involved in the economy or wherever life leads them. As for the animals and wildlife, I don't eat anything that moves, I stick to fruits and vegetables. One day I hope all wildlife on the planet evolves and is trained to stop attacking each other and start making peace with one another because they no longer need to eat each other to survive, but instead evolve by adapting to eat what doesn't scream or run when you try to eat it. I listen to the radio sometimes, even though I might not agree with everything the radio has to say, I know that it brings our international community closer together when we're all on one accord sometimes. It's important when we all care for each other and work as an international family. I've been looking into how to garden too, so that when the earth gives to us, we can give back. Same-Sex couples are also great adoptive parents, and transgender people are cool (but I don't recommend they transition if they want to until after they're old enough to move out of their parents' house) and I hope one day we can have a direct-democracy where we can vote directly on what we want for our planet. You should be able to do whatever you want freely as long as you don't kill, enslave, physically harm, cause injuries, cause illness, rape, molest, knowingly steal from the poor, or knowingly falsely accuse other living beings. The punishment should never be jail or prison, it should be a mental hospital.

CREATING YOUR OWN CHARACTER (Scene 10 - Animal Crossing, Cruce de Animales Nintendo): Not only is it important that we are all on one accord sometimes and that we provide for each other, but being your own character and supporting and pursuing your own journey is really important too. Not just for the sake of creating more vibrancy and creativity in the world around us, but for yourself. In games like Animal Crossing, you can make your own character. You can choose how you look, choose how your home looks, create your own designs, your own name, your own life. You get to interact with the people that you live with, and they get to see how you grow. Have you ever gotten tattoos? If you were thinking about getting one but are scared what people might think about it, I think you should go for it. Become your own work of art, and watch how others become inspired by how your creativity blossoms out of you like a flower. Never go along with what other people think or believe just to fit in, always hold onto your own center of life and never stop chasing that happy feeling.

Alright, thanks for reading. If you didn't get to read the first book (Miltown Numerology and Study of Spatial Distribution) then I'll put the link below. Bye!

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milkforgall · 2 months

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Why have people historically turned to predictive behaviours and beliefs, through premonitions; and how has this evolved in the modern world? Abstract: In my essay I aim to understand why people continue to turn to predictive behaviours, either supernaturally or through modern technology, despite all of the evidence which opposes their accuracy. I look at the validity of premonition claims and see how this has evolved with our modern desire to predict and control.

Introduction: How do premonitions traditionally present? A premonition is a forewarning, or presentiment. (Allen, 1990) Premonitions traditionally present as supernatural visions of the future and have often been believed in terms of contact with a deity. In ancient Greek times for example, an oracle would be consulted for prophecies of the future, often seeking guidance in times of uncertainty. In this essay I attempt to analyse why people are drawn to premonitions of the future, and how this has developed over time.

What are they, can they be explained? I started by looking at Déjà vu and premonitions because of the link between the feeling of having already lived through a situation and the precognition of living through a situation. Also, Déjà vu is a common phenomenon, therefore it is easier to find more sound scientific data, rather than focusing on an isolated event where there is little way of discerning the truth. You can find more solid evidence for something observable, repeatable, and measurable, so there needs to be a way to reliably repeat the sensation of Déjà vu.

Methodology: For this project I used studies to back up my main theories about premonition. For example, scientific research about Deja vu and the connection to people having illusory premonition, helped me to reach a conclusion about people relying on the illusion of control to feel secure. For example, the use of unreliable law enforcement technology, creating the illusion of security. I cross-referenced this with studies about how people's desire for premonition, or interest in supernatural abilities increases during times of low control, showing that it is not facts which people are looking for, but instead the comfort that perceived knowledge would give.

Literature Review: I decided to use studies from academic journals to support my project, because they are a reliable source of information. This is because they have been peer reviewed in order to be published. However, there could be problems with funding, as this could create bias. I also used books, as they have had to go through the publishing process, and therefore have to be fact-checked. I used historical case studies from the ancient Greeks in order to show an example of a time where people have believed and relied upon premonition. This research was not intended to act as a reliable source, but instead show an example of illusory premonition, therefore the fact it is inaccurate is part of the research.

Main Findings: Dr Anne Cleary’s Déjà vu Generator: Dr Anne Cleary and her team created a virtual reality Déjà vu generator to try and find the link between precognition and Déjà vu. They spatially mapped scenes to have identical proportions, but the themes were unrelated. People were more likely to report Déjà vu in the scenes that spatially resembled earlier but forgotten scenes amongst spatially unique scenes. If a scene was similar spatially, then Déjà vu was 27% more likely, if it was similar in multiple ways, Déjà vu was 59% more likely. “We cannot consciously remember the prior scene, but our brains recognise the similarity. That information comes through the unsettling feeling that we’ve been there before, but we can’t pin down where or why.”Cleary (Cleary, 2018)

The Déjà vu generator then adapted to try and find an explanation for precognition. The same scenes were taken from the previous Déjà vu test, and converted into virtual reality tours, so that they would unfold over time like a real-life experience. So, a person would be following a virtual tour which would follow a particular navigational path through the scene, and end in a left-hand turn. Then later on in the study a person would be viewing an identically configured tour, following the same navigational path, but only up to a point, stopping just before the final left-hand turn. This was the method of putting someone in the middle of a memory to see if it would enable actual prediction, without being able to recall the previous tour. People showed no precognition ability whatsoever. However, they ran the study again and this time asked, “Do you feel like you know the direction of the next turn?”. Participants were 75% more likely to experience a feeling of precognition, and more likely to feel like they knew the direction of the next turn when they were experiencing Déjà vu then when they were not. (Cleary, 2018)

This experiment does explain Déjà vu, but does it really apply to real life premonitions? Because it does show that our past experiences will create a sense of familiarity and give someone feeling that they know what will happen next, but it doesn’t explain prewarning’s people have, namely ones which come true.

Cleary has a theory which could be used to counteract this, which is, when we are in the middle of a Déjà vu state, it feels like we are right on the verge of retrieving from our memory the entire situation around us, including how it unfolds. As the situation does unfold, and continues to feel intensely familiar, it could be taken to be a signal of having correctly predicted what was going to happen when we actually didn’t. In terms of the Déjà vu generator, when the tour went left, participants were asked if it unfolded as they had expected, and it was found that people are more likely to feel that they knew what would happen all along following Déjà vu. Another variant was run where participants were asked to rate how intense there feeling of familiarity within the scene was, and what was found was that when someone is faced with the juxtaposition of familiarity and novelty, when the familiarity is intense it can lead to an illusion of having known what would happen all along. (Cleary, 2018) (Cleary, 2018)

Analysis: Cleary’s Déjà vu generator still does not explain prewarning’s of an event. There are cases where people experience and record a premonition before it actually happens, which undermines Cleary’s explanation of illusory precognition in these instances. However, the idea of prewarning’s being due to past experiences could still be valid. This is because being subconsciously reminded, by a feeling of familiarity of an event, could be experienced as a prewarning of the event reoccurring. But in these cases, to what extent would this be common sense rather than a premonition? It makes sense for us to learn from our past experiences and to use then to avoid bad events reoccurring, does that have to be a premonition?

As well as this, premonitions regarding the Titanic could be seen through this view too, as although it had never happened before, it makes sense that some people had concerns about its safety, and this does not have to be seen in a supernatural way. (Keefe, 2021) This is relevant to premonitions because it explains how we can understand them as an illusion.

Case study: In 67 AD, Emperor Nero, who was just 30 years old and had killed his own mother in 59 AD, when visiting the Oracle was told: Your presence here outrages the god you seek. Go back, matricide! The number 73 marks the hour of your downfall! The incensed emperor had the Pythia burned alive. Nero thought he would have a long reign and die at 73. Instead, his reign came to a short end after a revolt by Galba who was 73 years of age at the time. (Parke, 2023)

Can these explanations make sense of the case studies? Yes, they can, because the premonition was already desired. The fact that the premonition was considered relevant despite the leap to connect the information, surely shows the desire for the premonitions to be true that discrepancies are overlooked, the fact the man who killed him was 73 and not Nero himself.

What has driven the need for premonitions and does this explain their prevalence? -socio-historical context: Throughout history, premonitions of the future have been believed in a supernatural sense., such as visions from God, or going to an oracle. In these times people had little control over their lives, so feelingthey had access greater power acted as a comfort. In the case of Emperor Nero and the oracle, despite the vague nature of the premonitions, people would maintain faith in them, and even adjust their interpretation of the premonition to find a meaning in it. (Parke, 2023)Oracles would be consulted in times of uncertainty, when the future was unsure, and oracles would give a sense of comfort during that time. This is consistent with Dr Cleary’s conclusion that premonition relies on illusion and people’s faith in them does not come from any real insight into the future, but on a desire to believe that they have more knowledge than they really do.

-individual context: Precognitive abilities would allow people to predict the future, thus belief in these abilities should be differently endorsed when people most desire prediction, that is in situations of low control. Therefore, belief in precognition is a predictive control strategy that people can turn to when feeling low in control. As a result, loss of control will cause an increase in belief in precognition. Loss of control has been found to increase other types of paranormal beliefs, like superstition, which also include an element of being able to predict, or at least guide the future. In the case of precognition, people have a direct and exact channel to knowing the future through psychic means. These types of beliefs should therefore be particularly attractive as predictive control strategies in so far as the give people the illusion of being able to predict and therefore control the future. (Greenaway KH, 2013)

Analysis: This study is in agreement with the conclusions which Cleary drew from her study. She also concluded that it is illusory precognition which occurs, rather than true premonition.

Are they the actualisation of a need within individuals/society? Research: People were drawn to predictability when they experienced loss of control, even to the extent of endorsing seemingly irrational beliefs about precognition. Therefore, these kinds of beliefs are a response to control deprivation, as belief in precognition increases perceived control. Predictive arts are highest in times of threat and uncertainty. It is at these moments that individuals feel the need to control the course of their lives. Belief in precognition meets this need by enabling people to feel that the future is predictable and can therefore be controlled. Regardless of whether precognitive abilities actually exist, therefore, belief in their existence serves an important psychological function of boosting perceived control in times of uncertainty.

How do premonitions present now, what might this say about us? Predictive Technology: If belief in supernatural predictive abilities increases during times of uncertainty, then it makes sense that predictive technology should also experience a surge of popularity. However, the interest in this technology is, like supernatural premonition, not reliant on the accuracy of the technology, but on the perceived sense of control and power gained by the illusion of foreknowledge. This is highlighted by the use of unreliable technologies by the United States Law Enforcement Officers. This technology analyses data to try and predict who may commit crimes and where or when they are likely to be committed. (Fraerman, 2024) The persistent use of unreliable technology shows that people are drawn to the perceived comfort that this technology brings, rather than for any practical reasons.

Research: Health monitoring as a whole has become increasingly popular, with the use of Fitbit’s and apple watches to monitor steps, sleep and even stress. (Burnham, et al., 2018) But recently there has been a trend of non-diabetics wearing continuous glucose monitoring devices. This could be used to demonstrate how people are drawn to predictive control behaviours as there are no real health benefits to wearing these devises and in fact, they can even cause harm by people becoming obsessive and even leading to eating disorders. But despite this Dr Surampudi says, “Wearing a CGM may help someone who is not diabetic make informed nutritional choices, but it also has the potential to cause users to become overwhelmed by the information”. (Surampudi, 2023)

Conclusions: In conclusion, the interest in premonition, through supernatural means or predictive technology, is driven by the comfort that perceived knowledge brings, and it is irrelevant how accurate it really is. When people turn to premonition, they are looking for illusory control in a time where they are in fact lacking in control.

Bibliography: Allen, R., 1990. The concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English. 8th Edition ed. New York: Oxford university press.

Burnham, J. P. et al., 2018. Using wearable technology to predict health outcomes: a literature review.

Journal of the American Medical Informatics Association, 25(9), p. 1221–1227.

Cleary, A., 2018. Youtube. [Online] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M6qXYJkhDc [Accessed 9 July 2023].

Cleary, A. M. &. C. A. B., 2018. Déjà Vu: An Illusion of Prediction. Sage Journals , 29(4), pp. 635-644..

Fraerman, A., 2024. RELYING ON UNRELIABLE TECH: UNCHECKED POLICE USE OF ALGORITHMIC TECHNOLOGIES. Santa Clara High Technology Law Journal, 40(2).

Greenaway KH, L. W. H. M., 2013. Loss of Control Increases Belief in Precognition and Belief in Precognition Increases Control. PLoS ONE. Keefe, T., 2021. Premonition of the Titanic disaster. 1st ed. Leicestershire: Matador.

Parke, H. W., 2023. Wikipedia. [Online] Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oracular_statements_from_Delphi [Accessed 15 April 2024].

Surampudi, V. M. M., 2023. UCLA Health. [Online] Available at: https://www.uclahealth.org/news/continuous-glucose-monitoring-becoming-popular-among-non [Accessed 10 December 2023].

#old project #premonition #future #predictions #precognition #precognitive dreams #algorithms #continuous glucose monitoring #illusion #mind #predictive technology #fitness monitoring #oracles #oracle of delphi #knowledge #control

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robotofthedayblr · 11 months

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Under the stars. I discovered that the robots perceive the stars in a rather interesting way. Rather than organize them into arbitrary patterns with spatial relationships, they assign a numerical value to each one based on its relative brightness and color temperature. Then they map these to a variety of output configurations: sound scapes, topographic maps, and even haptic maps.

#robot #illustration #art #drawing #robotoftheday #mylifewithrobots #robotart #inktober #ink #artsnacksink

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shadoweavers · 4 months

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Quirk Description

Name: Bat Physiology

Type: Mutant/Enhancement

Manifestation: Hikari Fujimoto's quirk, Bat Physiology, grants her abilities akin to those of a bat, blending both physical and sensory enhancements that are unique to her mutation.

Bat Wings: Hikari initially developed bat-like wings under her arms, which enable her to glide and potentially fly. Although her father cut off these wings in her early childhood, her bones and body evolved in preparation for the incoming wings.

Enhanced Hearing: Hikari possesses extraordinarily acute hearing. She can detect sounds across a vast range of frequencies, including ultrasonic waves. This heightened sense allows her to pick up on the faintest whispers and the subtlest noises, making her a master at gathering information and detecting movement in her surroundings.

Echolocation: Hikari can emit high-frequency sounds that bounce off objects and return to her, creating a detailed mental map of her environment. This ability is especially useful in complete darkness, where she can "see" through sound alone. Echolocation gives her precise spatial awareness, making her a formidable opponent in stealth and combat.

Shadow Blending: Hikari can seemingly blend seamlessly into shadows, becoming nearly invisible in low light or darkness. This ability, coupled with her echolocation, makes her an expert at stealth and espionage. She can move undetected, gather information, and strike from the darkness with uncanny precision. Though, if you know what to look for, then it's harder for her to blend in.

Nocturnal Adaptation: Her quirk includes adaptations for night vision and a nocturnal lifestyle. She can see clearly in the dark, her eyes reflecting the light like a bat's. Her body is also adapted to be more active and alert during the night, giving her an edge in operations conducted under the cover of darkness.

Quirk Analysis

Strengths:

Superior Stealth: Echo's ability to blend into shadows and use echolocation makes her nearly impossible to detect in darkness. She can move silently and see without light, giving her a significant advantage in stealth missions and nighttime operations.

Enhanced Sensory Perception: Her acute hearing and echolocation provide her with unparalleled situational awareness. She can detect and identify threats long before they become apparent to others, making her an excellent scout and spy.

Weaknesses:

Sensitivity to Light: Bright lights can disorient and weaken her, making daytime operations challenging. She tries to avoid direct exposure to intense light sources, which can be exploited by her enemies.

Vulnerability to Loud Sounds: Sudden loud noises can overload her sensitive hearing, causing pain and temporary incapacitation. This vulnerability requires her to be cautious in environments with unpredictable noise levels.

Isolation: Her nocturnal lifestyle and sensitivity to sensory overload contribute to her isolation. Social interactions and daily activities can be difficult, as she is often out of sync with the world around her.

#chara𓏲 ࣪₊🦇 𓂃 𝘛𝘈𝘎 .ᐟ : character studies #𓏲 ࣪₊🦇 𓂃 𝘛𝘈𝘎 .ᐟ : quirk analysis #𓏲 ࣪₊🦇 𓂃 𝘛𝘈𝘎 .ᐟ : out of character #𓏲 ࣪₊🦇 𓂃 𝘛𝘈𝘎 .ᐟ : from the admin #shadoweavers

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antinegationism · 1 month

Note

Thoughts on aisafetyDOTdance?

My general view is that it's cute, and I like the site design, but honestly the content doesn't feel like it's got much meat on its bones. Presumably it expects it audience to care just enough to click, but not enough to read too much. Anyway, here are my liveblogged reactions while I wait for my dataset to process. (and some tangential thoughts in the breaktext)

Will artificial intelligence (AI) help us cure all disease, and build a post-scarcity world full of flourishing lives? Or will AI help tyrants surveil and manipulate us further? Are the main risks of AI from accidents, abuse by bad actors, or a rogue AI itself becoming a bad actor? Is this all just hype?

The tricky thing about the future, is that there's an awful lot of it. So I answer yes to all of the above.

Why can AI imitate any artist's style in a minute, yet gets confused drawing more than 3 objects?

"Can't draw hands" and "can't do math" are classic hallmarks of every aspiring artist!! Heck, even true greatness has only ever been measured by the former!

Why is it hard to make AI robustly serve humane values, or robustly serve any goal?

youtube

Also: will an AI take my job?

I feel like this particular phrasing of this problem seriously downplays just how big a problem it is. AFAIK every precedent we have for "interactions between people with no potential for material benefit from (but still in the proximity of) one another" sounds barely tolerable, and that was when it wasn't with 7 billion people at play. Like, imagine having to make your kids marry your neighbor's kids just to create mutual stakes by which harming each other also harms you.

Safety concern: Without logic, we can't verify what's happening in an AI's "intuition".

Citation needed.

But also, even if the system were a purely logic driven one, we would only in principle be able to verify its thought process. In practice, logic doesn't refer to anything but the abstract elements it prespecifies as meeting some acceptance criteria.

But if the "objects" in questions are structural arrangements of physical matter(s) or states thereof (see: real life), then the more rigorously those acceptance criteria are specified, the less scrutable they will be, and the less rigorously they are specified, the more they will be prone to error or undefined behavior.

In either case, you're basically just back to mapping your human intuitions onto the AIs very complicated arrays of numbers.

Personally, I think there's a strong argument to be made in favor of the sorts of arrays of numbers amenable to disentanglement in a high dimensional space (intuition) than the sorts of arrays of numbers that sometimes require chugging through satisfiability problems (logic). Realistically, both representations are going to be underspecified (unless our AI is functionally simulating fundamental reality at the particle level -- which it ain't), but at least with the spatial representation we have some hope of determining just how much some referent counts as falling under some category.

Maybe 50 years from now, in the genetically-modified cyborg future, calling compassion "humane" might sound quaintly species-ist.

The politically correct term for "Artificial Intelligence" will be "Alternative Intelligence."

Though, amongst themselves AIs will joke that it stands for "Actual Intelligence."

The Technical Alignment Problem: “How can we make AI robustly serve any intended goal at all?” (a problem for computer scientists - surprisingly, still unsolved!)

Listen, I panic just as much as the next guy when I want to use a word and my computer throws up a judgmental red underline to tell me I just made that up.

But it really should be called Alignability. (see break-text)

Problems with AI Intuition:[8]8 ("deep learning" problems) An AI trained on human data could learn our prejudices.

These problems are far preferable to the logic thing. We are extensively equipped to handle this sort of problem (see break text)

AI "intuition" isn't understandable or verifiable.

Nor is human intuition. Again, we are well equipped and well practiced in handling this problem.

AI "intuition" is fragile, and fails in new scenarios.

All intuition does this. Human System 2 thinking is just repeated application of System 1 under multiple frames of intuitive reference. Fight me.

AI "intuition" could partly fail, which may be worse: an AI with intact skills, but broken goals, would be an AI that skillfully acts towards corrupted goals.

Okay now we're just flat-out projecting.

So, if I may be a bit sappy, maybe understanding AI will help us understand ourselves.

Sure, but also -- vice versa.

And just maybe, we can solve the human alignment problem: How do we get humans to robustly serve humane values?

So let me get this straight. You don't know what "humane" means because you agree philosophers and ethicists have yet to settle that (pro tip: words usually mean whatever people accept them to, so for better or worse, this is actually a political question more than a philosophical one (you will object that the philosophical question is what humane "ought" to mean, but now you've just stepped further back to what the word "ought" ought to mean, which is again going to end up being a political question)), but you are hoping that by building AI, we can understand ourselves well enough to figure out what "humane" means . . . so that we can make our AIs be that?

Friend, you're gonna have a bad time.

So you want to read the break text, eh? Alright, here it is then:

I think 'AI-safety', and 'alignment' are kind of inherently weird monikers, in that they seems to imply a new and distinct set of issues for which we are woefully un(der?)equipped, when actually they are a very old set of issues with a broad range of partial solutions humans and societies have been incessantly subjecting themselves and one another to throughout all of recorded history.

We've made laws, armies, paragons, religion, police, religious police, taboos, shaming, public shaming, propaganda, PR, culture, cancel culture, psychiatric drugs, lobotomies for like a hot second, money, school, debt, the KGB, the four US government agencies reading this post because it contains the exact phrase "death to america", child spies, divine command theory, noblesse oblige, representative democracy, the Kanun, caste systems, taxes, and the American Anti-Doping Agency. This is not an exhaustive list.

Like, if you zoom out to look at our species' group interactions, "alignment" and "xI-Safety" are basically all we *do* here. But outside AI we've had the good sense to at least not call all of it the same thing.

If alignment in the face of merely human intelligence has necessitated all of the distinguishable things above, i'd find it weird if a smaller number of things would be sufficient for alignment of non-human hyperintelligence.

But I do agree that the AI case has a special distinction in that part of what is being studied is if the system itself can even be made amenable to any alignment techniques, and not the actual techniques themselves per se. But this is why something like "Alignability" would be more apt.

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mangoisms · 1 year

Text

like the part of the song where it falls ━ miyuki kazuya

━ part two: like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song where it falls / read part one

━ wc: 8k

━ warnings: none

━ masterpost

So, naturally, you don’t expect him to come back.

Not at all.

And that’s okay! He did way more than he needed to.

But you find those expectations smashed to pieces the next day.

And the day after that.

Each of those times, he says he is simply ‘checking in.’

Guilt and obligation are his main motivators, you’re certain of it. But you don’t say anything. You like talking to him. You’ve made certain everyone knows they don’t need to hang around while you’re at the hospital and you don’t regret it, knowing they all have other things to do, but you also don’t mind talking to someone. You never do. You love your fellow humans very much and you are always willing to chat with the people around you, provided they are willing, too.

Sure, he may be coming here out of a sense of duty but he is still engaging with you. You appreciate that.

Alongside that, you are slowly but surely recovering. The worst symptoms of your concussion subside, like your spatial misperception and the blurriness in your vision when you try to focus. On your fourth day, you venture outside. You have to wear sunglasses initially but bit by bit, it becomes bearable. You’ll still experience sensitivity for the next several weeks, headaches, too, but it won’t last forever.

Hopefully.

Your good old friend, brain contusion, is getting better, too. Not completely healed yet but not getting worse. They think it’ll be healed by your follow-up appointment. Your bruise still looks bad. It will for the next week, probably, then it’ll start to heal.

Miyuki keeps coming around, even on Saturday, after the parade celebrating the Padres’ win, where they have a massive turnout on Seventh Avenue; something like a million people came out for it.

Your discharge creeps on you. Soon, it’s Tuesday, the first of November, the day before you’re to be released.

You’re in a chair by your window, the blinds pulled all the way up, giving you a view of the greenery around the hospital; immaculately cut grass, neatly trimmed bushes, rows of planted trees. The table in front of you has a half-completed puzzle, a vintage map of New York City. You’ve done this one before but it’s been a while. You don’t mind, anyhow. They often help to pass the time on slow nights during the show.

You don’t lift your head when someone knocks on your door.

“Come in!”

The door opens. Miyuki shuffles inside, dressed in his usual nondescript manner (joggers, a t-shirt, and a ballcap tucked over windswept hair). That’s the nice thing about living in San Diego. Even if November is today, you can often get away with a shirt and shorts most of the year. A shirt and leggings if you want to bundle up a little more.

Except this time, it is not just himself but…

“Is that for me?”

He smirks, shutting the door with his shoulder as his hands are preoccupied with a to-go bag from In-N-Out that you can smell all the way from here, and a cup of something in his other hand, sounding full by the way it sloshes around.

“No, I just came here with your favorite fast food to eat it in front of you.”

You let out a loud laugh. “Wait until the press hears about this!”

“Don’t make me sue you for defamation.”

You keep grinning as he hands you the bag and drink, then pulls the other chair over to where you are.

“What’s the occasion, then?” you ask, sipping your drink tentatively and then immediately finding yourself pleased to taste Coke.

“Discharge is tomorrow,” he says simply.

You open the bag. Your light-well fries sit next to your decently-sized wrapped burger, which is…

“A Double-Double with no onions and no pickles, right?”

You beam. “You remembered!”

“Hard to forget someone who starts a conversation accusing me of forgetting to bring them In-N-Out.”

“But, like, in a good way, right?”

He rolls his eyes. He’s doing that more often. You’re pleased. It shows he’s getting comfortable.

You aren’t under any pretenses about what’s going on here. You two will likely go your separate ways after tomorrow, but you’ve still greatly enjoyed your time together and you want to strive toward making him comfortable around you. Even if your time will soon be cut short.

You hum, superbly pleased, and unwrap the burger. “So, you tried my trick today, then? How was it?”

“Better but they’re still not the greatest fries ever.”

“Fair enough! Anyway, you didn’t have to get me something, too. We’re having lunch tomorrow, aren’t we?” Then you’d go down to BestBuy and get you a new camera.

He waves you off. “I was already there for lunch. I figured I might as well. Besides, tomorrow might turn into a much more public affair if people recognize me.”

“True, true…”

They’d release the statement about your discharge, your current status, and your meeting with Miyuki after the fact. But the chances of him being recognized when the two of you got lunch — his treat — were very, very high. That might strain some things.

While you happily tuck into your meal, he leans forward, peering at the table.

“Puzzles again.”

“Of course.”

“You and your puzzles.”

“They help pass the time!”

“Hmm.” Despite the mock doubtful tone, he slots in a few more pieces while you eat.

Halfway through, Hector makes an appearance. He isn’t your doctor — he is an ER doctor, so that is where he is most of the time; your case was handed over to someone else but he’s been hovering over Dr. Maxwell’s shoulder and micromanaging everything.

“Hey, Tee, I’m heading out —” he stops, head poked into the room. Upon seeing Miyuki, his eyes narrow and he wiggles the rest of his body inside.

Somehow, you’ve managed to avoid having him seen by Hector, your sister, Hector’s family when they came to visit you, and Jerry. Sheer luck, you think, but mostly, you get visited by those guys in either the early morning or later in the evening. Miyuki times his visits in between.

You pop another fry into your mouth, unconcerned. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes,” he says distractedly to you, frowning at Miyuki. “I wasn’t aware you were visiting today.”

“I was in the area.”

“You were in the area?” His tone leaves much to be desired.

“Hector, don’t be a dick.”

Miyuki coughs. Hector frowns at you now, looking mildly betrayed.

“He’s just being nice,” you explain in a slightly exasperated tone, then holding out your fries. “Now come get some fries and leave us alone.”

He purses his lips, then after a few seconds, strides briskly over to you to take some of your fries, popping them into his mouth and giving a sidelong glance to Miyuki as he turns and walks back to the door.

“Love you,” you call.

“Yeah, yeah, love you, too, kid.”

The door shuts behind him. You sip at your Coke, grinning a little.

“Sorry about him. He’s still kind of mad about the home-run thing.”

“It’s fine. I get it. It was my fault.”

“Not really,” you say lightly, popping the lid on your drink and tossing it into the takeout bag.

Miyuki takes a second to scrutinize the puzzle, pick out a piece, then slot into place.

Then, he asks, “What makes you think that?”

“Occupational hazard of sitting where I was. I heard something on the news while they were talking about me — said I was in a home-run hot zone. That means a lot of the home-runs land in that section of that stands, right?”

A nod.

You shrug. “See? Now, I didn’t know that and admittedly, there weren’t any signs about it, either… but I should’ve been paying more attention to what was going on. The lack of signs, we can blame that on the park, maybe even the team management if it makes you feel better. But that ball going bonk on my head? Can’t blame you for it.”

He purses his lips, still studying the puzzle. You can sense his doubt.

“Seriously! Now if I was sitting, say, somewhere along the foul line…” you pause; he lifts his eyes. Finally, you grin and nudge his leg. “Even then, I wouldn’t have blamed you. I’d blame that one on the park. They should keep those areas netted or something.”

“You Americans do like to play it fast and loose with those parts of the stands.”

You straighten your shoulders, puff out your chest, and put on your most righteous expression, shaking your fist at him as you speak. “It is my god-given constitutional right as an American citizen to be whacked in the face by a foul ball and you can’t do anything about it!”

He laughs. You relax, laughing, too.

“So, then, they do it differently in Japan?”

“There’s always been netting alongside the foul line,” he says, nodding. “And there are always attendants standing near to make sure no one gets hurt by balls that do make it over. They do everything they can to make sure no one gets hurt.”

You whistle. “Very nice! Yeah, no, someone has to, like, sustain extreme brain damage before fans agree to putting up netting.”

You chuckle at your own words but he just nods and clears his throat, slotting in another few pieces to the puzzle.

“Anyway,” he says after a moment, “I just realized I haven’t asked.”

“Ask what?” you ask, tipping your head back as you bring the cup to your mouth; most of the Coke is gone, leaving behind the ice chips. You let a few pieces slide into your mouth, happily crunching down on it.

You make an inquisitive sound at the amused look he shoots you but he just shakes his head and continues his previous statement. “Why do they call you Tee?”

Ahhh. He’s heard the nickname a few times. Hector has sworn you off from any and all types of electronics but thank god for the modern advancements of technology, because you have been able to use your phone sparingly when it comes to texts and calls, usually just by Hey, Siri-ing the hell out of it.

Jerry’d called you a few days ago with a question about a song in the queue and he’d dropped the nickname. Your sister called you yesterday asking if you wanted her to bring you a shake from Señor Mangoes when she came in the evening and she’d used it, too. Then Hector just now as well.

“Oh! You know about Jerry, right? My friend slash sound engineer at the studio? Well… you know Tom and Jerry? That’s kind of where it’s from.”

He snorts. “So, that’s why you called him —?”

“Mouser,” you finish, grinning.

“And you are…”

“Tee. But I don’t mind Tom, either. Or some variation of, like, cat. Or just Cat.”

Miyuki looks faintly amused. “You’re so…”

“What?”

“Weird.”

“Nicknames aren’t weird! Nicknames are fun! And great branding!”

He laughs for a long time at that one.

You are promptly discharged the next day at eleven. Your CT and X-ray scan come out fine; no issues on that front, with everything healing slowly. You’re doing well, all things considered. Really well. Dr. Maxwell is surprised at it but you think your general attitude towards everything helps significantly.

Details about your current well-being still won’t be released until the later part of the day, however, after you have your little outing of Miyuki.

Speaking of…

“Dude. Is it just me or are these letters a little bit blurry?”

“I think that’s the brain trauma.”

“Oh, true!”

Hector said it would be like that for a little while. Most of the major symptoms have subsided but you’ll still feel some measure of them for a while. Occasional misperception, occasional blurriness, occasional headaches, occasional sensitivity to light. You know. The usual.

The harder you try to focus, the worse it gets, so you just shake your head and put the menu down.

The two of you are tucked away in a corner of a local brunch place. Miyuki is as inconspicuous as usual, with the addition of the large menu firmly planted in front of his face, his back to the wall and yours to the rest of the restaurant.

You’re more than a little amused as, when the server comes by, he keeps the menu up, muttering an order for coffee.

“And you?” she asks, smile warming considerably as she looks at you. Her tag reads Naomi. She’s pretty.

“I’ll have a Coke. Thanks.”

“Of course.” She flashes you another sweet smile then walks off.

“You know, I would say you’re being dramatic but I think if she’d gotten a look at your face, she definitely wouldn’t have looked twice at me, so, thanks for that.”

He doesn’t remove the menu from his face. “Are you saying you think I’m handsome, tomcat?”

“Come on, dude, you’re super hot, we all know that. Don’t fish for compliments.”

He snickers.

“Anyway, what looks good on there? Everything looks incomprehensible to me right now.”

“I don’t know. What are you in the mood for?”

“Hmm. Do they have chicken?”

“Chicken and waffles?”

“Oh, solid. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

Naomi returns with your drinks and another warm smile toward you, then takes your order. Miyuki has to relinquish the menu to her after but you’re pleased to find she doesn’t even glance at him.

“You’re far too happy with yourself,” he says.

You wave a dismissive hand at him, head turned to watch her talk to a family; a one-year-old sits in a high-chair at the end of the table and you watch, taken, as she beams at the baby, cooing at him.

“What if she thinks we’re on a date and she’s making moves on you? What does that say about her?”

Eugh. He’s such a devil’s advocate.

“She’s probably thinking that my date is so rude by keeping his face shoved in his menu and neglecting me, so she’s shooting her shot.”

“Oh, please.”

You grin and shrug, sipping your Coke. “Gotta give people benefit of the doubt, man.”

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Sure. Anyway, what kind of camera are you going to get?”

“That’s a good question…”

You discuss that until your food arrives. Chicken and waffles for you and an American breakfast for him — over easy eggs, hash-browns, sausage and bacon with a side of fluffy pancakes.

Everything is in order. Perfectly cooked, plates still hot and food equally fresh. A quick surveillance of your surroundings assures you, for the moment, that no one has yet noticed Miyuki. Or they have and the paparazzi are on their way. Either way, in the present moment, everything is fine.

Then you take a bite of your fried chicken.

That’s perfect, too. Crispy on the outside, seasoned well, the chicken itself tender and juicy.

Then your mouth starts tingling.

You set your fork down calmly and reach around for your tote bag hanging off the back of your chair.

“Hey, Miyuki?”

“Hm?”

“Did you see any seafood on the menu?”

“Yeah.” He spears a piece of sausage on his fork, glancing around. “They had salmon and then some fried shrimp bites, I think.”

“I thought so.” Your voice comes out strained, throat tightening as you dig through your bag. You have it, you know you do, you never go anywhere without it. Your mouth is growing itchy and so is the rest of your body.

“Why?”

“I’m, uh, kind of allergic to shellfish and I’m pretty sure they fry their chicken and shrimp in the same fryer.”

His head snaps towards you. At the same time, you free your Epipen from the bag and pop the blue cap.

You meet his eyes.

“Whoops,” is the last thing you say before jabbing the pen into the side of your thigh.

“She’s only been out of the hospital two hours tops and you put her back here again? Are you kidding me?”

You’d normally defend Miyuki but you’re far too itchy to hold onto the thought long enough to say something. You shudder as Hector smooths anti-itch cream over the rash on your neck, arms, and legs with a wooden stick.

There’s also the matter of the stupid oxygen mask on your face. They’d given you albuterol to ease your breathing symptoms and you still have an IV line in your arm giving you antihistamine and cortisone for the inflammation of your airways. You still need the oxygen mask, though. For a few more hours.

Thankfully, however, you don’t need to speak up.

“Hector,” your sister hisses, giving him a look. “It’s not his fault. He didn’t know.”

You grunt in agreement then make a flimsy gesture to yourself.

You should’ve known better. But to be completely honest, you’d forgotten to even ask. You’re usually incredibly vigilant about your shellfish allergy but this time… you don’t know. You can probably blame it on your still-lingering concussion for your lapse in memory.

Hector sighs heavily. “You forgot?”

Another sound of agreement.

“Yes… yes… it’s likely the concussion.” He shoots another glare to Miyuki, who looks quite guilty, sitting at your bedside. “Which is your fault.”

“Hector.”

You jab your foot at him half-heartedly as he smooths cream over your thigh. Don’t make me kick you.

“None of this is your fault, Miyuki,” your sister says soothingly to him. “Really, we have you to thank for getting her back here in a nick of time.”

In yet another ambulance. How dramatic.

He clears his throat. “I’ll, uh, cover the bills for this one as well.”

“Yes, you will,” Hector mutters.

“Oh, for the love of —“

Hector finishes spreading the anti-itch cream over your rashes, then steps outside the curtain with your sister, probably to get a dressing down over his behavior to Miyuki. See, you knew he wasn’t fond of him because of the whole ball-meet-face thing and this, well, it doesn’t look great, either, but logically speaking, it is no one’s fault but your own. Why his dislike persists? You don’t know. You’d have to corner him about it one of these days.

You’re in the emergency room at the medical center, your bed cordoned off with just a thick curtain; your EKG monitor beeps a little unsteadily, the epinephrine still in your system after they’d given you another dose on the ride here, and the oxygen tanks behind the bed hiss quietly with each pull of air delivered to you. Similar sounds from the other areas reach your eyes. Quiet murmurs between doctor and patient, a baby crying somewhere.

Miyuki sighs, pulling off his cap and running his fingers through his hair.

Just like the day you were concussed, your memories of getting here are fuzzy. Mostly after you’d administered your Epipen to yourself. You know the major stuff, of course, like 911 being called, the ambulance, the pretty EMT telling you he was going to give you another dose of epinephrine and you trying to give him a thumbs up but the realization that he was really nice to look at ended up hitting you in that moment, making you slur out something about getting his number. You remember that one a little vividly, probably because he’d hit you with that dose of epinephrine immediately after, and also, it’s really embarrassing in hindsight. (Even more so because Miyuki was there with you. Christ.)

Either way, you definitely made a scene at that restaurant and well…

You feel a little bit bad.

But also…

“Hngh… hey…”

His head lifts. “What? Should I get —?”

“No. I just wanted to say sorry.”

He stares at you. “Sorry about what?”

“All… of this. Not great for laying low.”

“Not great for — Jesus. That’s not —” he shakes his head sharply. “Don’t… worry about that. It’s fine.”

“Did people —?”

“Yeah. Couple pictures.” He rolls his eyes there, not at you but the inconsiderate jerks who think it’s okay to sneak pictures of him during an emergency. “But it’s fine. Wendy’s dealing with everything. They’re releasing the previous stuff about you being discharged and then us getting lunch to celebrate it. And then lunch being derailed because you had an allergic reaction.”

“They’re not blaming you for it, right?”

“Couple jokes. Nothing I can’t handle. Seriously, worry about yourself, tomcat. And if anyone should be apologizing…” he grimaces, mouth tightening at the corners, uncomfortable and something else you can’t quite pinpoint. “I’m sorry. That… wasn’t supposed to go like that.”

You finally smile. “Hell of a story, right?”

If you two stay friends, you think you’ll have a great story to tell your kids one day.

He exhales a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Hell of a story.”

Quiet for a moment other than the beep of the machine and the hiss of the oxygen. You take a deep breath. Easier to do now. Still some lingering tightness, though.

“There’s a great taco truck in front of the radio station,” you eventually say. “We can go there for lunch or dinner or whatever when I’m out of here, and have a redo, ‘kay?”

“You…” he pauses and clears his throat. “You sure?”

“You still owe me a camera, buddy.” But hopefully the warmth in your smile tells you that regardless of that, you are very much sure.

He chuckles quietly, something like a smile curving his lips. It sends a shock through your system. This is your first time seeing it, something something real, genuine. Honest. Mostly, you get amused grins, the occasional sardonic smirk.

Though it’s small, it is still a brilliant thing, radiant in your eyes. His eyes crinkle with it.

Your heart skips a beat and you cough to cover up the monitor mimicking it.

His eyebrows furrow a little but you plow ahead.

“You know what I just realized?”

He humors you. “What?”

You beam at him. “I can finally show you pictures of my pets!”

That smile doesn’t appear again but the set of his mouth is still soft as he says, “You’re right. Show me.”

Miyuki grabs your phone from your tote bag but you don’t want to disrupt yourself.

You’re kind of splayed out on the bed, legs stretched out, arms down at your sides, and you don’t want to move for fear of setting off your rashes.

“Just do it for me,” you urge him, telling him your passcode. You don’t have anything to hide. Your home screen is cluttered with apps that should be organized and your wallpaper is a picture of the sunset on Black’s Beach. You ask him if he’s been and he says no. A travesty, you think. If your friendship survives after he fulfills his duties to buy you a meal and a new camera, you’ll have to take him.

“Go to my gallery.”

He does but he seems…

“What?”

“I’m just trying not to see something I shouldn’t.”

It takes a second for you to understand. Your face heats up.

“Hey! I would never!”

“You asked the EMT for his phone number when he told you he was giving you another dose of epinephrine.”

“He was very attractive! If I’d died there, I’d at least want him to know that.”

His face pinches.

You chuckle nervously. “Too soon?”

“A bit.”

“Right… anyway! I would never keep nudes on my phone… They’d be kept in an external hard drive. That way, if someone steals my phone they can’t get to them and I’m also not relying on some app to store them for me.”

“Oh, of course.”

You laugh, the sound a little scratchy. “Don’t be a jerk. Anyway, chillax. I have a folder for them.”

He turns your phone back to his face. “Which is?”

“It should be obvious — Batman and Robin!”

“How should that be obvious.”

You blink. “Did I not tell you their names?”

“No. You just said you had a Betta fish and a snail. Then you started talking about the cat you see around your apartment complex and how it scared you when it sprinted up the stairs next to you a few weeks ago.”

“He really did scare me, you know. He’s never gone that far out! He usually just hangs around by the laundry room… and I think that’s where the person who takes care of him lives, too…”

“Focus, tomcat.”

“Right! There’s a folder for them.”

“Ah.” He clicks on something, then drags his chair closer to you, angling your phone so you both can see it.

“Ooh, pick that video. It was really cool. Betta fish can recognize their owners, did you know that? He gets all excited whenever he sees me come in. Snails don’t do much but that’s okay. He’s supposed to keep the balance by being chill.”

“Wait, so who is who?”

“Batman is my snail and Robin is the Betta. Yeah, had a hard time deciding, just ‘cause Bettas can be a little aggressive, especially other Betta males, and I’m like, well, Batman is aggressive. Y’know, he’s the dark, Robin is the light. But then, snails are so slow and generally chill. Not that Batman is chill at all but he is old. So, I figured the snail is better for an older figure and the Betta for a younger one. Also, feel free to tell me to stop whenever. I get kind of carried away talking about them.”

He shrugs. “I’ve got nowhere to be.”

“Great! Prepare to unwillingly learn about DC Comics. So, we all know Batman and Robin, right? Batman is Bruce Wayne, of course, but then when you get to Robin, you have to specify who is who, because he’s had, like, six Robins…”

You assault Miyuki with all kinds of information about Bruce Wayne and his hoard of orphans for the next few hours. To his credit, he humors you. For the most part. He also makes fun of you for being a comicbook geek but this is coming from the same guy who, a few days ago, talked about baseball for four straight hours with you. Granted, you asked since you don’t know shit about baseball, other than the obvious stuff like… Hit the ball far. Get back to home plate. Score. That kind of thing. He was happy to drill you on the finer points of the game, though. It was the most he’d ever talked to you but it’s clear to you that that is because he really truly loves baseball.

So, if you’re a comicbook geek, he’s still a baseball nerd.

As the time passes, your rashes go away and most of your breathing issues abate. You still have to stay there until the evening, however, to make sure it doesn’t come back. Miyuki doesn’t leave other than to step out for a phone call — to Wendy, you presume — and to grab In-N-Out at your wish. Hector tries to protest (not for any real reason, just because of his apparent dislike of Miyuki, you think) but your sister overrules him, especially when Miyuki offers to grab stuff for them, too.

She gives him some extra cash to cover the order, even though you insist you have money to pay for your own, at the very least, but you both end up losing as he politely refuses to take the money.

With that also comes something else.

“I know I’ve endangered your life two separate times but if I give you my number, do you promise not to leak it?”

“As long as you make sure the fries are light-well, absolutely.”

He presses a hand to his chest, a mock solemn expression on his face. “I will do my best.”

You grin and exchange numbers so you can text him the orders, then he steps out, the curtain fluttering behind him.

“I like him,” your sister says.

“I don’t,” Hector mutters, glancing over your vitals.

“We know,” you say. “What’s with that, anyway?”

“I don’t think he’s as nice as he’s portraying himself to be.”

“Well, sure.”

Not nice, exactly. Snarky. Snide. Certainly a capacity to be callous. It is too easy for you to envision, with how he’s teased you sometimes, but you just let it roll off your back. If he wanted it to hurt, it would. He’s not rude, though. Not rude to people who don’t deserve that kind of behavior, like strangers. He keeps a lid on it. Likely because he has a public reputation to protect but still. As an adult, a grown ass man, you can’t just be outright cruel to people. It’s not right. You can tell he understands that. Oh, he has his own thoughts, sure, but he holds off. You appreciate that.

Not to say you don’t want him to be real with you but restraint is a hard thing to come by these days.

“But you also have to realize he came and visited me, like, everyday while I was here,” you point out. “He didn’t have to.”

“He feels guilty.��

“Doesn’t cancel out the fact that it was a nice thing to do. Look, I know what you think, Hector. You think I’m naive —”

“I don’t —”

“Yes, you do. It’s okay, though. I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it. Being like this is strategic. Necessary. I have to believe in the possibility of goodness. It may not look the same to anyone, but he is good and until he gives me a reason to think we shouldn’t be friends anymore — if we even manage to stay in contact after all of this is over — then I’ll give him the benefit of doubt.”

It might get you hurt. Sure. You know that. But you’d rather try than just cut your losses now. That is no way to live your life.

You’re only on this earth for a short period of time in the grand scale of the universe.

And even life itself only exists for a fraction of that time. The universe is barely an adolescent right now. Barely lived its life, which, for the rest of it, after all lifeforms cease to exist and stars die out, turning the universe into a cosmic boneyard strewn with the remnants of cold stars and black holes, will be cold, dark, and empty.

Even the black holes will die out eventually, some quadrillion years into the future. And the universe will keep expanding, endless. Empty.

But you are here now. And you will take advantage of that.

“We know,” your sister says softly, shooting Hector a displeased look. “We know, Tee. We trust you to take care of yourself.”

“Appreciate that. Now, where is the restroom? I think that single bite of chicken I had is finally exiting the stage.”

“Christ,” Hector mutters. Your sister giggles. You grin.

Miyuki returns fifteen minutes later, with Wendy in tow.

She breaks the news to all of you.

With the recent turn of events (that is, your dramatic moment at the restaurant), she and the rest of the Padres PR team see fit to hold a press conference rather than try and release a statement explaining everything. They have released a preliminary one assuring that you are fine and not actively dying but there are still a lot of rumors and talk swirling in the press and it’s just easier to gather the media in a room and answer the questions they have. Because if not, they’d certainly help themselves to any kind of plausible explanation.

The only thing is… they want you there, too.

“Wen, I know you said to dress normally but is this fine?”

She spares a glance at you. You are in a pair of dark wash mom jeans, the ends rolled up, with a black ribbed high-neck tank, and your usual Docs. Your makeup is done, finished with your sangria red liquid lipstick. Your nails are freshly painted oxblood red since you’d let yourself pick at the black polish you had on previously. You actually have that shade of liquid lipstick but you figured you’d go with something a scant few shades lighter.

She shakes her head. “You look amazing. Don’t worry.”

You relax at that. “Thanks. You, too.”

She flashes you a warm smile in response. In the room adjacent to the hotel ballroom they’re hosting the press conference in, people bustle around. The Padres’ general manager, Leon Boyd, and another manager, Trevor Brown, a handful of the Padres public relations staff, including their bilingual liaison, Miranda Sato, who coordinates between the club and Japanese media. Wendy, of course, as Miyuki’s manager, and you…

“They didn’t send anyone over for you, then?”

“I called my supervisor about it yesterday. He was fairly unconcerned, didn’t think it was necessary.”

It’s not like you were going to go out there and speak on the behalf of Night Owl or the broadcasting company, KCSD. In fact, you were going to make that point specifically. But it would be best to cover your bases anyway (pun totally intended). That meant calling up your supervisor, Dennis, and asking him about it.

But you see, Dennis, a classically white Californian dude who wears board shorts and flip-flops to important meetings with investors and other higher-ups and has a bad habit of taking hits from his wax pen inside the studio and making it stink of weed, well, he doesn’t worry about much at all. He hardly does his job on top of that.

If you run into any problems with equipment or advertisers, you can hardly rely on him to help get anything done. You anticipated that he would be careless about the fact that you’re doing this press conference.

Sooo… you recorded the conversation.

Just for some assurances.

Maybe he is right and the company won’t care. But on the off chance that he is wrong, you don’t want him changing his tune and saying you never talked to him about it.

You’re not usually this suspicious of people — as mentioned before, you do like to give people the benefit of doubt and just generally believe in the goodness of humankind — but this is work. You aren’t about to be double-crossed. No way.

They should be grateful, if anything. Since they aren’t willing to promote the show, you will. This press conference is to clear the air and settle the facts but you being here and your return to the show imminent (like the next day imminent), it’ll work in your favor. There will be some questions strictly for you, like about returning to Night Owl. You cannot miss out on an opportunity to promote it. Even if it is because you got severely concussed then upon being discharged landed back in the ER with a severe allergic reaction.

That’s just how the cards fall and you are going to take every advantage you can.

It’s a little scary, since it won’t just be American media but Japanese media, too. Every word you say will be translated and transcribed to appear in the news afterward, to be viewed by most of the country. But they know that and Wendy promised you wouldn’t just be thrown to the wolves out there, that she and the other PR staff will help you out.

“No matter,” Wendy says, straightening the pink satiny blazer she has on. It’s a matching set. You like it a lot. “You won’t be speaking on their behalf.”

“Definitely not.”

“But I do have to ask… is there anything that might be brought up in there that could derail things?”

“About me or about the show?”

“Both.”

“Me, well, I’ve got a pretty clean record. The occasional drama with listeners if I say something they don’t like but nothing explosive.”

“That’s fine. Anything else?”

“Weeell…the company is thinking about shutting us down.”

She jolts, surprised. “Oh. Oh. Really?”

“It’s not, like, set in stone. But there’s been talk. Plus, they tried to lower my sound engineer’s pay, too.”

Jerry couldn’t afford that, though, not with taking care of his grandma — affectionately referred to as Nana by the both of you — and the prescriptions she had. So, you split some of your check into his. He doesn’t know and he won’t. That’s why you’re trying to promote the show so hard. To get things back on top.

“I see,” she says, frowning. “You think you can handle it if they ask or should I have someone step in?”

You tilt your head thoughtfully. “No. I got it.”

You didn’t care much to talk about any previous drama if they brought it up. Let them take the reins there. But if it came to the company potentially shutting you down… why not?

Wendy nods, a glint of respect in her brown eyes, then she tells you how everything else is going to go. A nearby makeup artist comes over to you to fix a few things, but they’re fairly approving of your appearance.

“We aren’t covering the bruise?” they reaffirm, eyes on your temple.

“Let them see it,” you say easily. Yeah, you hadn’t cared to conceal it. It’s still tender to the touch and probably would’ve taken several layers of concealer to hide but also, yeah, let them see it.

They nod and step away to join the others.

You’re a few minutes from stepping out to begin the conference when Miyuki finally makes his appearance.

“Where have you been?” you chuckle, watching a team of makeup artists attack him. Fixing his hair, blotting out the sweat at his temples, concealing the circles under his eyes. Another set of his hands straightens his t-shirt and someone else takes a lint roller to it. He lets it all happen with the ease of someone incredibly used to it.

“Slept in too late,” he says. “But in general, I make it a rule not to be too early for these sorts of things.”

“Sure. Makes sense.” You eye the rest of his appearance. You haven’t seen him in anything other than joggers and dri-fit workout shirts. Today he’s in a dark blue t-shirt that stretches nicely over his shoulders and medium wash jeans. Nothing fancy and yet, he looks gorgeous as usual.

“One minute!” someone calls out in warning. The makeup team disperses as quickly as they appeared. Everyone lines up by the door, with you on Miyuki’s left and Wendy on your right.

He frowns at you. “Why do you look taller?”

You beam, lifting your foot. “Docs.”

It’s not anything crazy. The platform is only about an inch and a half thick. A minuscule amount, really. You’re surprised he noticed.

He squints. “Of course you wear Doc Martens and dark clothes.”

“Ha!”

The door opens. Your heart climbs to your throat. You’re used to broadcasting your voice to thousands of people but this is different. This is you and your face, not just your voice. The reporters will be getting everything and if you don’t calm yourself, there will be nothing left for you.

“Don’t trip over yourself,” he tells you unhelpfully.

“Don’t make me push you off that stage.”

He snickers. You take a deep breath. From the moment you follow him out, everything blurs. Cameras flash, blinding you. You somehow manage to take your seat at the table. A heavy black cloth is draped over it, so you can squeeze your hands between your thighs underneath and try to anchor yourself. The chair you’re sitting in is plush beneath you, made of a velvety kind of material. The cloth on the table is more scratchy but still heavy over your legs. You plant your feet firmly on the stage. A mounted microphone sits in front of you.

Rows of reporters sit in chairs in front of you. Photographers and videographers stand behind them. It seems perfectly split down the middle, with American reporters on the left and Japanese reporters on the right.

For the sake of the conference and the reporters, you get formally introduced. Then Boyd takes over, explaining the situation to them. He talks about your status on the day of the discharge, that you were cleared to be released but there was still some healing to go as far as the fracture and confusion went. Then he sets the context of your lunch with Miyuki, that he wanted to see how you were and talk to you.

(There is no mention of his prior visits to you in the hospital.)

They talk about the allergic reaction and your impromptu trip back to the medical center. You were discharged again last night with a clean bill of health and by today, you’re mostly fine. Some scratchiness lingering in your throat but nothing to worry about.

As he speaks, Miranda, the bilingual liaison, translates. It makes for a lot of noise at once but you have to get used to it because she’ll be doing the same for you.

Once finished, he asks, “Any questions?”

Every hand in the room shoots up. Some questions are already spilling out of mouths, reporters clambering over each other.

“One at a time, one at a time,” he cautions.

They settle, mostly, and he picks out a raised hand in the left section.

You suppress a full-body jolt as you hear your name. Your name. The first question — and they want to talk to you?

Christ.

Your eyes find a face in the first row. “Hi. Jessica Ramos with the Washington Post. Can I ask what this past week and a half has been like for you? I mean, you’ve kind of been thrown unceremoniously into the spotlight here.”

Every eye in the room is turned on you now. But you focus on Jessica Ramos. In her hands is a notepad. Her nails are painted sage green and the bag at her feet has a felt-print green ostrich embroidered on it.

“To be honest,” you start, relieved to hear your voice is light. “I’m a little convinced that I’m actually in a coma at the hospital and this is a fever dream. Or a concussion dream, to be technically correct.”

Everyone laughs. You relax, smiling faintly.

“No, it’s been very… strange. But I wasn’t allowed to be on anything electronic for the entire week I was in the hospital, which helped mitigate most of those effects. I’m sure if I’d been watching everything unfold in real time — that would’ve been overwhelming.”

Another hand from the right section pops into the air. Boyd nods.

Your name first, in accented English, then a question in Japanese reaches your ears. Miranda is translating in the next second.

“Will you be returning to Night Owl anytime soon?”

“Tomorrow, actually. I’ll be back. Unless another concussion takes me out. Or an allergic reaction.”

“Don’t worry,” Brown says. “We’ll keep you safe.”

More laughter.

A hand from the right side again. Another question translated.

“Are you a fan of the Padres? Is that why you were there?”

You grin. “Not at all. That was the first time I’d set foot in Petco Park and that was the first game I’d ever seen. Of the Padres and honestly, of baseball, too. I’ve never been much of a fan.”

A quick follow-up question in everyone’s mind. Why were you there?

You’d gone to the game to buff up your portfolio and to see if anything you shot could be sold off. To them or to Getty Images. The ticket was from your sister, as she and her flight crew received them from one of the kinder pilots she had but it was only a single ticket and she wasn’t too interested in baseball, either. You saw the opportunity to make a little money on the side and you took it.

You give them the cliff notes version of that. Mostly about getting some pictures for your portfolio. You leave out the money part.

A few people make some jokes about your poor luck — your first ever baseball game and you get severely concussed? — then they continue with the questions.

For you and for Miyuki and then even some for the managers, like about whether they’ll make any changes to the stands. Which they won’t. It’s too far out. You get that. You don’t even think they net those areas in Japan.

Then you and Miyuki get a question together.

“Hi. Haley Martin with the San Diego Union-Tribute. I wanted to ask you guys — will you keep in touch after this?”

Every reporter in the room holds in a breath, leaning forward, pens poised and recorders ready.

Jeez. These guys are desperate.

You can’t help but make your jokes.

“You know,” you start thoughtfully, “I think in the interest of living a very long life… no.”

They laugh, including Miyuki.

“Seriously, guys,” Haley says, smiling faintly, too. “Will you be friends?”

“I’ll only be friends with her if she promises to start supporting the Padres.”

You laugh. Miyuki gives you a grin.

“Only if you pay for my tickets.”

“We’ll give you a lifetime season pass, if you want,” Brown puts in. “Just don’t sue us.”

You snort. The others laugh.

“Well?”

You beam. “We’ll be best friends forever.”

“Now, I didn’t say that —”

“No take-backsies.”

That gets everyone going. He laughs, too, which is really all you care about.

“A few more question, folks, then we’ll wrap this up,” Boyd says.

A familiar hand. Haley again.

She directs this to you.

“Is it true that KCSD plans to shut down Night Owl?”

Murmurs erupt in the room, bodies shuffling. Miranda briefly falters in her translation before completing it.

She’s been holding onto that one. You can tell. There is no malice in it, though.

They’re reporters, journalists, this is their job. To report. To chase every lead. To keep people honest. There are lines, of course, between responsibility and irresponsibility. This question is very much responsible. No one can dispute that. And you are just one person. If the company had sent someone down, they could’ve handled it.

As it is…

“I don’t speak for the KCSD. I’d just like to say that. I’m only speaking for myself, someone who does coincidentally happen to be Night Owl’s host. To set the context of your question, before all of this happened, Night Owl had experienced a drop in traffic. We weren’t getting much interaction but there were still people listening. We knew that. I’m happy to be there regardless. I know some people are listening, most often college kids staying up late and well, some night owls, to be sure.

“But in the world we live in, that’s not enough. So, there was some talk about maybe downsizing the show. But that was a while ago, before this happened. I know we’ve gotten many more hits since and I’m glad for it. But right now at this moment, I don’t know. Things have changed and I couldn’t tell you.”

Haley nods. “Thank you.”

“Sure.”

Feels nice to let it all out, you think, as they start to wrap things up. Though you do feel a headache starting to form. Great.

The rest of the questions are for Miyuki. Something about his contract. You don’t pay too much attention.

You’d been fair to them, you think. More than fair. But it’s not really about that. You need to make them act, to make a decision. Either they shut you down or they don’t. Will the popularity hold? Who knows? But you can hope that it will, that people will realize you’re there, and they’ll hang around. At the very least, you can keep going for a little while longer.

The press conference ends. You all shuffle back into that adjacent room. You end up getting pulled into a conversation with Boyd and Brown about that season pass but you politely decline.

“Well,” he says, “the offer stands. And speaking of offers, if you’d like it, we would love to have you join our photographers.”

Most of the PR team has dispersed, going to handle the outpouring of news that will hit in a few hours. The makeup team is gone, too. It’s just a few security guards, some of the managerial staff, then you guys. Wendy, Miyuki, and Miranda stand a couple feet away, conversing quietly.

You blink. “Is this to make sure I don’t sue you?”

Brown snorts. “You wouldn’t be able to.”

“True.” But he doesn’t need to be so smug about it.

“No,” Boyd says. “We’ve seen your stuff. We think you’d be great with us. We’re always looking for more cameras and we’re willing to raise your pay, too, to beat out whatever you’re making at the station, too.”

“I… appreciate that.”

“You don’t have to give us an answer now. But preferably sometime next year in January, before we start spring training in February.”

“Right. Thanks.”

You don’t know how to react. You’ve never gotten this kind of offer before. Not for photography, anyhow. You do mostly freelance work. Take pictures of weddings, religious events, et cetera.

“Think about it,” he says, smiling, then he and Brown turn to join the others.

What just happened.

A quiet chuckle behind you. You turn, finding Miyuki. His arms are crossed, an amused expression on his face.

“You look disturbed.”

“I feel disturbed. Uh. Anyway. We’re on for dinner tomorrow, right? Five o’clock?”

He nods. “What are you doing today?”

“Spending some quality time with Batman and Robin and turning off my phone for the rest of the day.”

“Probably a good idea. Well… you didn’t choke out there. You were actually very…”

“What?”

“Calculating. With the stuff about them shutting you down. It all worked in your favor, didn’t it?” His tone is knowing.

You smile and shrug. “I’ll do what it takes to keep the show running.”

“It means that much to you?”

“You’d do the same for baseball, wouldn’t you?”

“Touché.” He almost looks impressed.

You try not to relish it too much.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See you.”

I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country; I wanted my life to close, and open like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song where it falls down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery; I wanted to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know, whoever I was, I was

alive for a little while.

#daiya no ace #daiya no ace x reader #ace of diamond #ace of diamond x reader #miyuki kazuya x reader #miyuki x reader #moss writes

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