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celticheartedfangirl · 4 years

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My OUAT Rewatch -- S4E22 and 23 -- Operation Mongoose, Parts 1 & 2

Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive

Bobby looks about as done with this season as I am. I know Michael Socha was done with it -- literally -- but we’ll get to that later.

This is gonna be long. So have a seat, pour yourself a drink or seven, and get ready. I’m not holding back . . . . . .

First of all, I debated about whether I should review this as one or two episodes. I decided to go with one, and will do this going forward with any episodes that have the same title and are part 1,2, 8 million, whatever. Trust me, at times it SEEMED like 8 million.

First thing I want to address is a bunch of fandom wank nonsense that came out of this episode -- namely the idea that RUMPLE wrote the story. Let me make this perfectly clear:

Rumple DID NOT WRITE THIS STORY. Isaac did. Rumple told him what HE, personally, wanted. Isaac took it from there. Rumple didn’t write Isaac as a famous douchebag author, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have given fucking ZELENA a wedding in the story, he’d have killed her off in a painful but well-deserved death. Ditto Hook. So if you still actually think Rumple wrote this story, my recommendation to you is that you back out of this post now. And you should probably stay off my blog in general. Because frankly, I think you are wrong and stupid and we are not compatible in any way. Got it?

Looking at YOU, some RUMBELLE FANS who actually did this shit:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118193570842/i-am-stunned-to-see-some-rumbelle-fans-bitching

Okay, so there’s THAT. Next . . .

So this episode was A&E’s attempt at META. And frankly, they SUCK at it. It didn’t come off as funny, it came off as making fun of the fans. No spoilers, ha ha ha . . . . . . . for those not in the know, back when the show was airing, Adam’s go to answer to fans on Twitter was #nospoilers. So the whole Isaac so thing was basically a dig at the FANS.

So there’s THAT.

The entertainment media was shitting all over Rumbelle before the finale, which pissed me off enough to make this post:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118484723732/when-and-why-exactly-did-rumbelle-become-the

And this comment:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118467157702/ouat-finale-your-burning-relationship-questions

And then there’s THIS:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118658755342/omg-ae-dig-the-knife-in-why-dont-you

Yes, in case you weren’t clear, dead is DEAD (we’ll revisit this thought in S5), Neal ain’t coming back, suck on it all of you who don’t like that! Love, Adam and Eddy.

Also, in other bullshit news, regarding who taught Henry to sail a ship:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118655893997/henry-no-your-father-taught-you-that

And THIS:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118660507567/what-the-fuck-they-left-rumple-on-the-floor-but

Revisiting May 2015 me is making current me stabby. And I haven’t even mentioned the entire town of dumbasses herp-derping around and partying at Granny’s while Rumple is dying and could be a meat suit for the ultimate evil of all evils any second now. Morons.

Let’s talk about the stuff I DID enjoy . . . .

Evil Snow was a riot!

Bandit!Regina was fantastic.

And this guy:

Gotta love Knight!Rumple!

Also, I will admit . . . . . Hook was more useful in useless mode in the AU than he’s ever been in Hook mode outside of the AU. Does that make sense?

So there’s all of that. Overall this 2-part thing was part good stuff, mostly hot mess, and a lot of middle fingers waved to the fans from the writers. But tally comes later. NOW is the time to address the Michael Socha issue:

Right about now, dearie. Will Scarlett is gone. You will never see him or hear about him again.

(Side note: Made an error in my last review. I honestly did not remember AT ALL that we saw Lily again in this episode, both in person form or in dragon form. Which tells you how much of an impression that made on me. Anyhoo, my bad. I goofed. NOW she’s gone for good.)

So what was the deal with Will Scarlett anyway?

Well . . . . nobody knows. We’ll probably NEVER know. You see, Will Scarlett was one of the breakout characters from the spinoff Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, and when that got canceled, someone -- really not sure who -- thought it’d be an awesome idea to plunk him onto OUAT.

There were many schools of thought on this, the primary one being that ABC wanted him for something and wanted to keep him on contract. That was 2014. I’m typing this in 2020, and there’s still no Michael Socha show on ABC. So that was a load of horse shit -- or else Socha told ABC to fuck off and hightailed it back to England. My money is on the latter.

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/115784240042/honest-question-why-did-they-bring-will-onto

But the issue isn’t even that they didn’t do fuck-all with Socha -- it’s the LIES that these assholes (they being A&E) told. So here’s where my receipts come in. You ready? Got your popcorn?

First of all there’s this lovely article -- Will is mentioned by all of it is just glorious in general:

https://oncecrazy.tumblr.com/post/118843079631/the-26-things-the-castwriters-promised-would

What is so HIGHlarious about all of this is that almost all of the articles that existed about the whole Will Scarlett thing -- no longer EXIST!

The highlight is Zap2it -- which is a now defunct fan site that A&E liked to go prattle to.

So Frick and Frack promised us we’d find out how Belle & Will got together. I have this:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/424464333605771793/#

And I have this:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/113163777872/once-upon-a-time-belle-and-the-knave-are-a-new

I also have a bunch of people I KNOW can confirm they saw this interview full of bullshit before it got erased. Please show yourselves!

But fear not -- I have an ACTUAL receipt from Mr. Socha himself:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/140658788782/apparently-michael-socha-got-screwed-over-by-ouat

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/140624375357/hes-a-good-bloke-i-saw-him-at-the-comic-con

I’m grateful someone had the idea to type it out, because sadly the link to that article was DELETED, which makes me think Socha got in trouble for that interview. Because shortly after that, a more watered down interview with him was posted in its place and THAT is still up:

https://www.digitalspy.com/tv/ustv/a785951/michael-socha-confirms-once-upon-a-time-exit/

Interesting, no?

Whatever the case -- Socha got royally fucked over by OUAT, for no good reason. His character was a plot device. What a waste and what an insult to the man who just wanted to work. Fuck these assholes.

So anyhow, there are the receipts, and we are now at the end of the clusterfuck that was Season 4.

Speaking of clusterfucks . . . . onward to Season 5.

Lord, give me strength . . . . .

Points tally:

40 points to start

10 points for Rumbelle kiss

10 points for Rumbelle hug

5 points for Swan Queen

3 points for Papafire, at least it got mentioned

5 points for Belle in character

5 points for Rumple in character

5 points deducted for Hook

5 points deducted for Zelena

I really can’t justify adding or deducting anything bonus. Just get me out of this season, please and thank you.

Total points: 68

Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!

#celtichearted ouat ranking #operation mongoose #anti hook #anti zelena #anti ouat writers #ouat criticism

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unwiltingblossom · 5 years

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Magicians s4 is garbage and here’s why. Spoilers.

Can we take a moment to appreciate just how bad Magicians s4 was, as a whole? I know, people are mad about the whole ‘going out of their way to hint at Eliot/Q for no reason when they had just as much of a connection as friends, just to upset the people that shipped it more when they killed Q’ but

Honestly, there’s so much more broken garbage about this season than just the one part of how it ended that the writers WANT us to talk about. So yes, let’s take a moment first to appreciate how the writers hate Quin and refused to let him grow as a character ever or give him the moments of success he had in the books, until they pointlessly murdered him instead of letting him finally be happy with the ending he should have gotten. It deserves derision.

But let’s focus on other things, too.

It’s long. It’s ranty. It’s going to rip apart season four and its finale and also touch on season three. It’s already tagged spoilers, but there’s more spoilers in here than out of the cut. Also, yes. We’re gonna talk about how the show pretends that it’s empowering females while it takes away all of their agency and makes them all about their men. And other hypocrisy.

First off. The fake female empowerment crap. And yes, it was so fake. We know it because the show itself utterly undermines and destroys it at the end of the season. Or sometimes literally right after they flex.

First: IT’S OKAY TO CALL MARGOT BY THE GENDER APPROPRIATE TITLE FOR ROYAL MONARCH OF A LAND. I know that by magical technicality she has to be ‘high KING’ (more on that later if I remember, because they actually ignore some of that) but there’s no reason Margot herself and other characters need to insist on ‘king’. Queen Regnant has the same ruling power and authority as a King Regnant. That’s why a non ruling Queen is called Queen Consort. Unless, of course, Magicians and SYFY are implying that Queen Elizabeth I and II are somehow inferior to King Edward and Henry the VIII(s) because they are only queens? Nevermind Elizabeth II has been queen so long her crown would have fossilized on her head by now if she wore it like fictional royalty always did.

Anyway.

Show. You’re not progressive because you have Penny smugly smile and say ‘let go of your cishet white boy bias, the main characters are the women’. You’re just obnoxious. Especially when Penny immediately finds out the cishet white boy he’s talking down to is actually his boss. Oof.

See, if you want us to believe other characters are actually the protagonists? You need to treat them like protagonists. You don’t do that, though. The only reason I remember the blonde librarian’s name is because it’s Zelda.

The episode builds up how important Fen is and how she has her own quest that will do something important, but what happens literally the very next episode? Oh right, Margot steps in and takes control of that, seizing the quest for herself. The only reasons I can presume this is for is #1 - the show writers despise the books and want to undermine everything about them, down to ensuring none of the humans get to rule Fillory even after they wasted multiple episodes democratically handing Margot the crown. Too bad for the talking animals, eh? and #2 to set up the sequel hook in the ending that, while interesting purely because it’s a Prince Caspian set up, was entirely unnecessary and could have been replaced by a series finale ending instead.

It actually makes no sense. Margot doesn’t contribute in any significant way she couldn’t have if she were still High King, because Fen could have done the entire black sand mission herself, because she is married to Eliot, remember, let’s not make fun of her feelings for him just because she’s not the main character (but she is! screeches smug penny!) - could she have seen the fairy? No, but she would have been able to work it out anyway, because it just wanted to help her. And here’s the kicker? The reason West Loria is against Fillory (aside from lol plot) is because OF FEN. Margot wasn’t ruling when Fillory chose the wrong side! Margot hasn’t weighed in at all, so why IN THE WORLD would this woman decide that she absolutely wouldn’t deal with any High King EXCEPT THE ONE WHO DID THE THING SHE DIDN’T LIKE?

Quick, tell me what Margot contributed to the plot from the point she left Fillory that Fen couldn’t have done, or that couldn’t have been accomplished by Margot still in Fillory.

Whoops, you’re out of time! There’s nothing. She did nothing of consequence that Fen couldn’t have done just slightly differently to suit her skills and actually justify the BS Penny spewed about her being a significant protagonist figure. Margot got swapped with Fen primarily because, no matter what self congratulatory subversive crap the show patted itself on the back with, Margot is actually a main character and Fen isn’t, so Margot needed to at least be near the action, and get her own quest, even if it was just taking Fen’s away from her. And also having a weird rushed romance with Josh for some reason. Who knows. I miss the genuine connection Margot and Eliot had for seasons that this season chose to throw away on a boring monster plot. I also miss Margot and Q’s friendship that this season ignored because we needed to focus on romance instead and pretend Margot doesn’t make friends.

Which reminds me, it’s super great how we went from Josh detesting Margot for making him help murder one of his only friends to Josh wanting to be her boyfriend because they share an STD. Really important and believable romance, there.

Kady also did fairly little from the point of that episode onward. They had to bring the Hedgewitches plot in to make her important, and even as the defacto ruler of the HW she still did very little except suggest that they could help the completely improbable ‘let’s just skip over the mechanics of making this work’ collaborative spell. And Alice and Julia already had the contacts to allow that to work anyway

ANYWAY MOVING ON

but not too far, because I need to talk about that awful red sand episode.

First, an aside: just because people liked your two musical episodes over the span of the entire series doesn’t mean you need to start stuffing singing into everywhere because ‘SINGING’

If only the problem with the episode was that the singing didn’t end with dancing Eliot. But no. This episode was PEAK fake female empowerment.

Margot finds a tribe of nomads who inexplicably choose to live in a desert that’s constantly trying to kill them. Every time women have an over the top emotional eruption (the show keeps saying ‘the tiniest bump’ or whatever but that’s a bunch of crap, it’s very clearly only when they have an eruption or tantrum), red sand appears and tries to kill them via possession. Men in the tribe protect them from this by jumping in the way and getting possessed instead, and then USUALLY DIE because the method of fixing them is to effing stab them with double axes and pull out the spirit, then try to fix them with desert medicine.

Raised knowing that their lives are in constant danger, and that if they fly off the handle about something not only are they in danger but the men around them, whom they purportedly love, may very well die, the women of course are incapable of just controlling themselves and will erupt in rage regularly like some modern city girl even while being actively cautioned to calm down and knowing they’re endangering their entire settlement.

Upon hearing that men consistently risk their lives to protect their insane girlfriends who literally cannot control their emotions on pain of death, Margot concludes ‘wow, this culture is mighty misogynistic. sucks.’

but then, oh no. The sand isn’t trying to HURT them, the sand - for no reason anyone in the show bothers to explain, because world building isn’t important to the writers - it actually just wants the women not to be sad and will grant their any wish if one so much as has a temper tantrum. Trigger scene where Margot beats up all the evil menfolk for oppressing these poor, helpless, weak women who need a sassy foreign girl to save them from themselves and literal fairies to look after their every boo-boo. There’s brief lip service given to the idea that maybe the women themselves DON’T hate all the men around them, but Margot shrugs it off and suggests that now the women of the camp are free to literally murder any man who makes them mad, or ‘just’ force them to slave for them for however long they want.

PATRIARCHY DESTROYED, GUYS. EQUALITY ACHIEVED. MEN ARE NOW ENSLAVED AND KILLED OVER NOTHING!!! LOOK AT THE STRONG WOMEN WHO LITERALLY NEEDED A FOREIGN WHITE CHICK TO SHOW UP AND SAVE THEM SO THAT A WHOLE SPECIES OF FAIRIES COULD CONSTANTLY CODDLE AND LOOK AFTER THEIR EVERY NEED.

SO STRONG.

I’m not even joking, though. They tried to write a “YEAH! WOMEN!” plot but just made the women there look completely inept and incapable of fending for themselves at all without a smart American there to teach them. And that’s without getting into the horror of setting up a slave society where men are objects that can be killed on a whim. eugh.

Anyway, so Margot does all that and spends just...all season insisting WOMEN ARE STRONGER. WOMEN ARE TOUGH. WOMEN ARE STRONNGGG. DON’T NUTSACK OUT ON ME MAN. BE A PUSSY AND TOUGH IT OUT!!!!! OF COURSE THE WOMAN IS THE VIOLENT AND UNSTABLE ONE (wait--)

But where’s that all lead us to?

The season finale.

Before we dive too deep let’s take a brief moment to look at poor Julia through all this season.

#1, in some twist that doesn’t really make sense, the dean hides all of the main cast as alternate personalities under glamors with some heavy witness protection magic as a deal to the Library so they don’t have to die...and so naturally the Library has a dead or alive bounty on them.

huh?

Whatever, let’s not focus too hard on the garbage pail of a plot the monster plot is, because that’s tied into the huge dumpsterfire that season 3′s finale was, and the best to talk about that is how these smart and manipulative people literally couldn’t be bothered to lie to and trick a simple childlike monster into thinking he was their ACTUAL FRIEND no matter how often he looked for validation from them (maybe he wouldn’t have been so keen on clinging to Eliot if he thought you guys liked HIM, not just the body, you nimrods) and who began to get some development and understanding of living life normally without killing everyone right before they imprison him and send him to ultra-hell.

No it’s cool. Just imprison the childlike creature who you didn’t bother to try to teach morality to after it desperately sought some kind of affection and acceptance from literally anyone. Seems like the good guy thing to do. I mean, you showed that mean ol’ child molester by getting him to trust you, using his knowledge, and then literally trying to murder him, so honestly this isn’t out of character at all for our ‘good guys’.

a n y way. JULIA.

It’s hinted at in season 3 that burning up all your god magic to make keys is actually temporary (but renders you able to be killed, so season 4 literally got it opposite of right, whoops), so obviously Julia really wants to get that back. She’s been motivated and shaped by magic as much as Q. She has been raped, lost her shade, suffered, had people die protecting and helping her, and became a goddess entirely by her own merit. She reasonably wants to get that power back, since she can’t die and isn’t really affected by magic in a normal way so she’s not fully human still.

Julia rescues everyone from the mindwipe by dying literally hundreds, maybe thousands of times and coming back. She gets a Mainaid (who I don’t feel like spelling right) that comes to believe in her and worship her as a goddess, and what happens? Well, first Penny who wants to get his dick wet gets jealous and runs off because he’s not the center of her world for like an hour. Partly because of this, the girl whom she rescued from suicide gets pointlessly murdered protecting her.

But hey, they’ve confirmed Julia is still a deity mostly but just can’t seem to access her powers. So Julia keeps digging and looking for a way to get them back. This leads to discovering an ancient book in the mirror version of the library who confirms that yes, she’s basically a demigod who won’t ever die, but needs to complete the transition either back to full godhood or to full humanity or she’s always be a little wrong, basically like she dislocated her divine limb fixing the keys and it can either be put back in or chopped off.

Now, this book (the Binder) warns her that both options are going to be long and painful and have their downsides, and implies they’ll be permanent, so she’s going to have to be SURE of what she wants. This warning is the ONLY reason Julia doesn’t immediately jump to a decision. And then the Monster shows up and kidnaps her. She calls the Lady Underground, who is unhelpful and just says ‘gotta make a choice yourself girl, no wrong answer’ and then the lady gets herself killed for no reason after Julia is immediately possessed.

Penny ‘rescues’ her by stabbing her in the back to pull the spirit out, and then blah blah her demigodhood doesn’t like that stabby thing, and it won’t let her die but also won’t heal. Solution? Make the choice and go full god or human and it’ll fix. Naturally, even though Julia’s been awake this whole time, she’s now unconscious ‘for the pain’ and Penny who is A POWERFUL TELEPATH can’t be bothered to pop in her head and ask what she wants under those circumstances.

no, he makes her decision FOR her. This is important, we’ll get back to this.

Penny has been chasing Julia(’s tail) around all season now. He’s been a part of her path to godhood this whole time, knows what she’s done to try to get it, so when forced to make a permanent choice for her

THIS

DICKHEAD

CHOOSES TO MAKE HER HUMAN. Against EVERYTHING he’s seen of her up until this point, and against whatever he knew of his Julia. Why? “I was selfish” WELL THANK YOU, MISTER “I JUST WANNA GET LAID” FOR AT LEAST ADMITTING YOU ROBBED A WOMAN OF SOMETHING SO UNBELIEVABLY SIGNIFICANT AND IMPORTANT AND LITERALLY LEFT HER WITHOUT MAGIC BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO STICK IT IN.

That’s right. Fandom’s all mad that Quentin died and they glorified suicide? Yeah, they just stripped away ALL AGENCY from a woman and made a choice for her that he KNEW she didn’t want just because it would be more convenient for him. Just violate the trust and remove the agency of the woman you already raped on screen once, show. Seems smart. Plus, now she does nothing for the rest of the episode and gets unfairly saddled with the guilt of Q’s demise because you just had to hamfist in his death.

ohoho but it doesn’t end there, no.

Penny, a man, takes away everything Julia earned HERSELF and locks away her path back to godhood (despite book Julia staying a goddess and becoming a Dryad) and then leaves her helpless and pointless sitting at home hoping everyone does okay, wrestling with her new existential crisis of being a weak, magicless human after all she did to get magic in the first place...and then Quentin dies, and because she’s so sad about him, suddenly she can do magic again! Weird internal consistency there considering how little is present in s4.

So Julia goes from a self-made woman, whose primary connections outside of her childhood friend are other women, to a woman whose whole life is now dictated by men. Important choices are made for her, she is passive in a crisis about her friends, and then her breakthrough to regain magic is...because of a man.

(BTW Kady also breaks down and decides she’s all about Penny, even though she’s kind of already worked through this last year and had plenty of other stuff to do this season)

And since I’m talking about consistency, let’s glance at THAT can of worms, shall we?

First and foremost: the High King of Fillory shouldn’t be able to leave Fillory. Remember when that was a huge plot point that caused great angst for Eliot in season 2? And how it only stopped because magic went away so the spells involved no longer worked?

Let’s assume Margot was grandfathered out into the normal world, and further assume that an election still makes her High King, not Eliot. As soon as Ember’s Emanation snapped her back into Fillory, she shouldn’t have been able to leave until MAYBE she was ‘overthrown’ (which might have given a REASON for her to be overthrown, if her location on earth mattered)

Yet that’s not a concern at all. Margot also doesn’t really bother to rule much so. sucks. but whatever. Clearly they just wanted King Fen here. (Again, ‘king’, because ‘queen’ is weak somehow. ew girls.)

Eliot. How do you mess up Eliot when he’s in like three episodes and barely in two of those? I don’t know but they did it.

Here’s the problem with his ‘darkest memory’ thing. It’s not that Eliot might have feelings for Q, this surprises NO ONE, it’s everything else about it.

First. Puzzle Quentin marries PEACH GIRL. He’s not married to Eliot, they just share an extremely deep bond. It’s pretty much explicitly nonromantic though, given that Quentin marries and breeds with some girl he never mentions nor appears to mourn again. He’s hit with a lifetime of feelings, and instead of thinking “I had a wife...and a child...what happened to my child?” he thinks “Gee, I should hook up with Eliot even though I’m bicurious at best.”

This. This is while he is self-professed to be in love with Alice, around the time of his fling with Poppy, and again, right after finding out he was married, widowed, and a father. This is when the writers decided to stage “Once, Quentin wanted to marry Eliot.” It just makes Quentin look fickle, unfaithful, and frankly some kind of addicted to relationships, like he’s terrified of not being in one.

But it’s also? Not a good look for Eliot. Because this season basically MOCKS his marriage to Fen. He’s shown to be affectionate to her, she is in the trio of the people that he loves (Margot, Quentin, and Fen) who he summons to protect him, but very very very little is spoken or suggested by him to be missing her or wanting to see her again, and more importantly, it doesn’t ring true for him to be ‘afraid of commitment’ or whatever it is he was suggesting by rejecting Q here.

Why? Because he already did this arc. Season 2 is all about him accepting his role of King (which they take away because lol) and more importantly, his marriage to Fen. He has to learn to accept monogamy and actually build feelings for Fen, eventually starting a family with her - that is tragically ripped from him by the Fairies. He then spends s3 with Fen as his wife and with a fake daughter, adventuring and questing and crap, and during the time the scene is set very clearly fine with commitment, as he’s actually in love with Fen at this point and not running away from the marriage. During this time he’s also totally cool with marrying another king for peace because he likes that guy, but I guess we should forget him because...I don’t know? He’s black, maybe?

By the way, he mentions how he ‘has sex with people’s boyfriends’ and shows the scene of his doppel getting it on with someone who has a boyfriend and ignores that he is actively cheating on Fen while he is doing this.

And the show makes fun of Fen mourning the death of her husband, and also implies something like Fen maybe didn’t really love him because she didn’t see herself as a person and was only raised ‘for the high king’ (nevermind she used to be a FU Fighter, they forgot), and that she’s dealt with losing her child TWICE now. Nah, she’s mostly for laughs because DAGGERS.

This is all done just to diminish Eliot/Fen so they can pretend Quentin was in a triangle with Eliot and Alice literally just to make it more sad when he dies unbelievably pointlessly.

Gosh.

Am I forgetting anything? Hm.

The library plot was garbage, but that ties into the dumpsterfire of s3 finale.

Oh yes. Isn’t it great when Marina is just a repeated trope forever? Ah, yes. Me too. I love when characters are super flanderized instead of being allowed to grow and change. All characters in Magicians basically just need to spin their wheels and retrace steps over and over until they die.

Ah yes.

Quentin, thy name is hypocrisy. You’ve been abusive to Alice for three seasons, and then you have the nerve to freak out at her over the keys? Sure it was a dick move, but honestly this only happened because you kept abusing Alice and manipulating her into loving you over and over. Because you’re a dick.

And let’s close out on that, I think, not on a bizarre rendition of Take on Me.

Alice, ex-Niffin, smartest and most talented and most capable mage they know, does not get any say when Quentin stupidly kills himself (by the way he only dies because for reasons known only to the writers he STOPS running and just stands there until he dies). She doesn’t throw the thing in WITH Quentin stopping the crisis before it happens (why were they moving so slowly when there was such a short timeframe? Just LOB EM IN, MAN! Alternatively wtf was the library still forcibly shorting people when there was a universal crisis and Zelda KNEW IT?)

Nope.

Our girl power season ends like this:

Julia loses her agency and has her life defined by the two main men in her life

Alice has no agency in how things play out in the mirror and has her life defined by the two (same) men in her life

Margot is told to ‘go cry outside or something’, and has fallen in love with a random white dude because she banged him once rather than literally let him die. This is character development, because none of the other relationships she’s ever had matter or affected her because they weren’t a romance.

Kady decides to define her life around the (dead) man in her life, until the other man in her life makes her realize he needs her still.

Fen is overthrown by some man offscreen

Zelda refuses to own up to the Library’s problems and try to fix them herself, and instead decides she’s going to pick someone else to do it for her. Also arguably she just sat back and let two men decide how the world would play out.

But it’s okay, guys. The Magicians is very subversive and not like other shows. The white cishet men aren’t main characters, and they proved that because Quentin died, and that’s WAY more subversive than the books, where everyone gets stories and endings that ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE FOR THEM and Quentin actually gets to eventually be happy.

But it’s not a suicide, because Quentin’s friends love him and therefore he had a good thing going, and Quentin has never ever missed or thrown away a good thing before.

Remember guys

it’s really realistic, because ANYONE CAN DIE IN REAL LIFE GUYS

OH MY LORD JUST GIVE US THE EMMY AND TELL US WE’RE PROGRESSIVE, PLEASE. WE’RE ALMOST THERE!

That’s season 4 of Magicians.

It’s bad.

#the magicians #the magicians season 4 #magicians season 4 #magicians spoilers #magicians season finale #ooc #long post #spoilers #rant #can't list the characters because it mentions them all

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fandomsarepainful · 5 years

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Responding to Comments

Allow Me To Explain

P.s: Contrary to what the post shows, there is no link linked. So ignore the underline.

So, regarding the “Shinoa’s life was fun” post and some comments on it, I think I should probably be more clear on some things.

But first, a warning, a plea and an apology.

Warning: The following will mention: my life- spoiler alert: I’m a fucking mess. A lot of fucked up stuff. I can’t. Ugh. I really wish that I won’t have to post stuff like this but I feel like I need to get a certain point across.

Plea: Please do not use my words as to be “true”. This is just how I view things. And if you take it upon yourself to look at the comments at the previous post as well as this one, I urge you to not respond in a way that negatively affects the person. Basically, don’t be a dick.

Let me apologize for using the word “fun” in such a way that makes it seem like what Shinoa went through is trivial and childsplay. I apologize if the use of that made you feel upset. I’m truly sorry.

Onwards to the post

First, let me say this: Shinoa, at that time, felt that what she went through was normal.

I’m saying this from experience.

(If you want to skip the mess that is my life, please skip this until you reach the coffee mug ☕)

My earliest childhood memories are:

1: Me and my little sister carrying my baby sister to go to my grandparents house in the snow. We wrapped our baby sister in the jackets we had so that she could stay warm. We were hungry, our mother was passed out drunk in her bedroom. We tried waking her up but she slapped me and told me to leave her alone and stayed in bed. So we decided to go to our grandparents. They lived right across from us. Note: I don’t live in a neighborhood like setting, I live in a rural area where the closest “neighbor” is about 6 - 9 miles away.

2: Me and my sister trying to sleep when we hear the sounds of a bed squeaking and moaning. I remember getting up and locking the door to our room. We slept with our doors closed and locked because my mother had a habit of sleeping around with anyone that so much as calls her “beautiful.”

3: My mother forcing me and my sister to sleep outside in the cold when she thought we were lying to her when we told her we didn’t sold something she liked. After two hours of trying to stay warm to sleep, she let us back in the house when she found what she claimed we sold.

4: My mother and father fighting over who deserved to have my little brother with them. TBH, I don’t remember much of what happened this certain night but I do remember feeling scared for my little brother who they treated like a ragdoll. I remember hearing crying and screaming. I remember being terrified that they might tear my brother in half with how they were both pulling at him.

The above are my earliest memories. Were they good? Hell no.

Were they fun? Nope.

Did I know that at that time? No.

I thought this was normal.

I thought it was normal for people to have a mom and dad that fights, for kids to have their doors locked inside their own homes, for their mom to bring home different men and have sex with them (yes, at childhood, I knew what sex was). I thought it was normal.

It wasn’t until I was in third grade that I knew that my idea of normal was wrong. Normal isn’t being afraid that the men your mom brings home might put their hands on you, normal wasn’t your mother bringing different men home. A home was supposed to be somewhere you felt safe, not just a place where you lived.

☕

Shinoa felt that what she went through was normal. Because she didn’t know that what she is going through is not normal compared to other lifestyles. Shinoa didn’t focus on her situation. She didn’t ponder whether this was wrong or right, she just lived day to day. Putting on a mask to hide what you are feeling is just second nature to Shinoa, I don’t think Shinoa has truly discovered who she is yet.

It’s sad, it’s pitiful, it’s terrible. You can’t help but feel sorry. I say “you” because I don’t.

I don’t feel sorry for Shinoa. From this post, it gives off the impression that I relate to her, which is true I won’t deny it but I don’t feel pity for Shinoa because pity doesn’t equal understanding.

Anyone can feel sorry for someone and offer words of encouragement but those are meaningless as those words can be copy-pasted and used on someone else. Understanding someone is not pitying them. At the current moment, I can’t tell you what I think understanding is, but I can tell you that feeling sorry for them because of what they are going through is perceived as wrong by you is not it.

Don’t kill me but I don’t consider Shinya as a Hiiragi because his family sold him to them. I’m not saying his life wasn’t completely bad but I’m going to exclude him from this.

But, don’t you see? They did have to fight one another to survive. In that type of family where they are “at the top”, they have to be a certain way. They are all fighting for the title of head of Hiiragi and I imagine that that title comes with power. I’m not saying it’s okay for out here in real life cause that’s fucked up but in that canonverse, it was what was to be expected of them.

Something I think we should remember is that canon verse is different from real life. The rules are different.

Just because I think something makes sense doesn’t mean I think it’s acceptable.

I agree about that Shinoa part. A part of what made her have such a low self-confidence is her family but I don’t think her being neglected by her family is what did it in. I believe Shinoa rejected her family. Not the other way around.

It is. Not gonna lie.

But believing that she is just a tool paired with her family name, Shinoa is under a lot of pressure. But that pressure gets alleviated off her by Mahiru. And of course, Shinoa being carefree and not letting her discover herself more lets her become an impassionate observer at life.

Shinoa’s life is not the greatest, compared to how we see it. But it had it’s good moments. At least she didn’t fuck everyone over for dick.

I see that I didn’t quite address a good majority of what was commented. Forgive me, my thoughts are a little all over the place. I’m trying my best to address the subject in a coherent way as possible.

I also want to address that I said I pity Shinoa in the tag not in regards to her family situation but the fact that the story did her dirty by not allowing her to truly discover the person she could be. This ties in to why I don’t like Shinoa but I’m trying to stray away from that topic as that is not my intention for this post.

#a post no one asked for #owasera #ons #sote #owari no seraph #owari no serafu #seraph of the end #shinoa hiiragi #this is probably the longest post i ever made #also #sorry if i dont make sense in some parts #my bad

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stewy497 · 6 years

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Stew Reviews - Celeste

So, after a full year of umming and erring over it, I finally gave in to peer pressure and got myself a Nintendo Switch. I’ve got the usual no-brainer titles to go with it; Mario Kart and Odyssey, Skyrim, Breath of the Wild, Rayman Legends, and The Binding of Isaac, curiously enough. But out of all the games I’ve played on this new system, the one that most cried out for analysis was a little indie project from Matt Thorson by the name of Celeste that Nintendo seem to be particularly eager to push.

I didn’t pick up Celeste immediately because from the gameplay trailer I had assumed it to be a slightly generic platformer. When I did pick it up a few days later, I found that mechanically, Celeste can be considered a contemporary of Super Meat Boy which I really like, being a tough-but-fair 2D pixel art precision platformer in the try-die-try-again mould. The gameplay isn’t particularly revolutionary, so I guess in a way I was right about it looking generic, but it is very solid and rarely unduly frustrating. The main innovation here is that you collect strawberries rather than bandages, and your basic move set is enhanced with the ability to climb walls and a short directional dash which you can use to quickly reposition yourself in mid-air. The physics are reliable and the platforming puzzles are all competently designed, being built around the dashing and climbing mechanics, so they always feel central and never like some gimmicky tag-on. Thusly, navigating a screen on the first attempt with a smoothly rattled off sequence of calculated jumps gives a feeling of indescribable satisfaction. Each level is visually distinct and has its own slight variations on platforming mechanics, such as dash extenders or trajectory-altering winds, so the game retains a stable core that doesn’t end up becoming stale. The game suggests that gathering the strawberries is completely optional and in the end grants little more than bragging rights, but it’s entertaining enough that I generally want to go after them while still being challenging without making me break the Switch into three pieces – not in the sense that it’s meant to, I mean – which few games can claim to achieve. There are also secrets to find, B-sides and crystal hearts, and admittedly their function isn’t readily apparent until you reach post game, but they do have one so they count towards something other than meaningless 100% completion. As satisfactory as this all is however, where Celeste really grabbed me was in the story.

Some minor spoilers ahead for the sake of analysis, so you may want to skip the next two paragraphs if you want to go into Celeste fresh.

You play as Madeline – assuming you decided not to abuse the enter-name-here feature – a young red-headed woman who has arrived at the foot of Mount Celeste with the intent to climb to the mountain’s summit. Right off the bat it’s quite obvious that Madeline is dealing with some deep-seated emotional issues, from the way she stubbornly proclaims how much she needs to reach the summit and the occasional cryptic dialogue exchange or dream sequence. One conversation in particular flat out states that she suffers from panic attacks, so presumably it’s some form of anxiety disorder. The thrust of all this is that climbing Mount Celeste serves as a metaphor for Madeline overcoming her problems, which as a writer and as someone who has experienced mental health issues myself, I can appreciate. It might not be the most complex piece of symbolism in the world, but it works and it works well. This theming is complemented by the gameplay itself too in a nice example of ludo-narrative synchronicity, as in the face of your literally hundreds upon hundreds of failed attempts, only your own determination not to give up can propel you onwards.

As you draw closer to the peak, you’ll meet and interact with various supporting characters. They’re all quite reliably grounded and likeable, and each of them strike a chord in different ways. First off is Theo, let’s call him our frame of reference as the most “normal” person in the story; a wanderlusting and aimless amateur photographer who’s also climbing the mountain, occasionally slightly brusque in his manner but also pragmatic and sensible with it. Then there’s a portly and spectacularly neurotic hotel owner who may or may not be dead and tends to overthink and worry to the point of paralysis; a half-mad old woman who lives at the foot of the mountain; and an evil red-eyed palate swap of Madeline representing all of her uncertainty and self-doubt who constantly tries to sabotage her ascent... You know, the usual stuff. Their interactions are well written and touching, with two particular moments close to the summit sticking in my mind.

Speaking of characters and their interactions, one object of note is that while the majority of the game is, as I mentioned earlier, presented in low-detail pixel art, for dialogue and key story beats the visuals employ cute, hand drawn illustrations. On their own they’re quite enjoyable to look at, but being spread out by large expanses of pixel art makes each one feel far more special and worth savouring. I found myself taking screenshots of the ones I particularly liked just so I could go back and look at them again later.

Overall, I can find very little to complain about with Celeste. About the only recurring issue I could name would be that the input for the left joystick might be a bit unforgiving; it seems like half of all my deaths could be attributed to Madeline dashing a different direction to the one I wanted. You can mitigate this to some degree by switching to the directional buttons, but good luck if you need to change direction more than once; while all other controllers use a single cross-shaped button because it makes it easier to find the direction you want, the Joy-Con’s four individual buttons mean that my thumb keeps getting confused and prodding the space between them. Yes, the Pro controller has a more traditional D-Pad, but it’s positioned below the analogue stick rather than above it like every other controller, so reaching for it feels unnatural and off-putting. And besides, I played most of the game in portable mode anyways, so it’s a moot point. I suppose the easiest fix for this issue is to simply play a different version of Celeste, since it’s available across all platforms, but I can still recommend the Switch version because, like The Binding of Isaac, this game’s model is well suited to being portable, and I enjoy being able to have my pick with how I play it.

Secondly, for a game with such strong writing, I get the feeling that the writers neglected to proof read their final draft. The end of the second level hints at something or someone in Madeline’s past, but after she wakes up from the dream sequence where this happens, that particular story beat is never brought up again. If you’d hoped I would forget about it, Matt, perhaps it would have been worth coming up with another level or two to pad the runtime and improve the odds of that.

The last incredibly petty thing I have to say is that it’s often unclear whether or not Celeste’s mechanics are diegetic – that is to say, whether they exist within the context of the game’s story or purely for the sake of gameplay. Yes, I know that I’m probably the only person who cares about this, but it got on my nerves and it pads out the word count so I’m going to talk about it anyways. Part of the reason for this is that Mount Celeste is established as a supernatural setting that brings certain qualities out in those who scale it, but it’s hard to see where the dividing line is. Is Madeline actually capable of dashing in mid-air? A feat like that should be physically impossible without generating the force of a nuclear blast, but it’s demonstrated in cutscenes multiple times so I suppose she must be? What about the dash-extending space voids in the second level? The whole game it seemed those were simply part of Madeline’s dream, but then during the final climax when the game’s throwing everything it has at you, they return alongside everything else. But like I said, I’m the only person who cares about this so it’s hardly a deal breaker. I digress.

So, bottom line: a narrative triumph with solid and entertaining core gameplay. To be enjoyed by anyone who can face a challenge, and a must-play for those in the indie market.

#celeste #indie #platformer #matt makes games #2D #pixel art #review

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d-clarence · 7 years

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Samurai Jack Episode CI Headcanon/Fanfic

I’ve brought this up on an Ask and another post I reblogged, but I just got the motivation to fully flesh it out and type it out while it is still fresh in my mind.

Warning, potentially spoiler heavy and quite a lengthy post!

- — -

*Imagine the final battle with Jack’s forces against Aku’s at the latter’s fortress. Jack’s allies have rescued Jack from captivity and he recovered his sword.*

The Fate of the entire Universe hangs in the Balance as Samurai Jack faces Aku.

The plan was simple. Circle around Aku's fearsome tower fortress as a distraction force against Aku while Samurai Jack got in close enough to vanquish Aku. The Scotsman’s new army has assembled together for what may be their last battle. Their forces are consisting of many of the people Jack affected in his life, including the Archers, Woolies, and even Da Sa-Moo-Rai’s rag-tag group from his bar. The face off will be against seemingly never ending legions of Aku’s Beetle Drones, interstellar bounty hunters, and his summoned minions taking place outside in the crater surrounding Aku’s fearsome tower fortress. However, Jack's objective was side tracked as he was forced to face off Corrupted Ashi as Aku watches from his throne cackling in mad laughter.

“Yes… the simplest solution is usually the best one…” Aku mused.

“Ashi! You can’t let it end this way! Please Ashi, fight!” Jack begged.

The Samurai tried desperately to get Ashi to fight the corruption controlling her, but to no avail. Her whip-like attacks from her new limbs toss Jack around as he cringed at every slash from his blade that made her scream in agony as tendril after tendril, burned away to ash and regenerated at an astonishing pace.

“Aah! I… can’t! You have to kill me, Jack! There is no other way! Don’t let me live like this!” Ashi screamed as she temporarily broke away, tears pouring from her eyes, only to be silenced by the blackness of Aku’s curse.

As a powerful backhand sends Jack flying into a stone pillar of fire, he sees his situation. His hair was let loose in a mess and precious gi was completely torn off at the top half and bloodied and tattered from the waist to the bottom. Slashes, bruises and blood seeped from his wounds, and the love of his life utterly lost to Aku’s will as the demon smugly folds his gargantuan arms from his throne.

There is only one way.

No. There has to be another.

But it is what she wanted.

She needs to fight harder!

But she can’t.

Please. Grant her peace. You know what you have to do.

Ashi sprung forward, lunging at Jack as he in turn raised his sword at the ready, fighting back tears that still rolled down his blood-smeared and dirty countenance.

“Forgive me…” he whispered one last time.

He likewise sprung forward thrusting his sword, when the unexpected happened.

Seeing that Jack will be the victor, Aku did the one thing that would break his eternal adversary’s sanity. The one thing that would top all of the evil acts Aku ever did in existence.

As the lovers charged and were about to make contact, Aku pulled his influence and essence from Ashi leaving her in her former human state, in the drab prison outfit and black boots she wore beforehand. She didn’t know at first why she still ran to Jack, arms outstretched above her head. Confusion struck both their faces.

Then it hit her.

Tip pierced flesh. Blade pushed through. Her insides shredded as the sword went through her for what felt like an eternity, but twas only a moment. With a resounding crunch and snap, the sword drenched in her blood shot through her spine and out her back. The deed was done.

“No…” Jack whispered. He wanted all of this to be nothing more than a nightmare, but no, it was more real than ever. He drove his mighty sword through her to the hilt.

Tears welled up in both of their eyes. He let go of the blade as she staggered and began to fall for the last time. Jack caught her, right arm around her waist, left hand around the side of her neck. He saw she was losing focus and felt her pulse began to slow down.

The pain was too much for her to bear as it shot through her abdomen. She couldn’t feel her limbs anymore. The last thing she felt was his blade.

Blood pooled around them in the crimson floor of Aku’s chamber as he smiled in content.

She tried to speak, to give her final words of forgiveness, gratitude, and love to Jack, but she only coughed out blood and gurgled. Over 50 years of combat experience couldn’t prepare him for this.

“No no no! Ashi… I’m so sorry!” he cried as rivers spilled down his face and his voice cracked. She was done for.

The lovers shared one more solid look in each other’s eyes as he cradled her, she could only give a faint smile to Jack before the light in her eyes went away. The smile dropped.

Ashi lies dead in her lover’s arms.

“Hahahahahaha! Foolish Samurai!” Aku thundered. “Did you really think that you really deserved her? Star-crossed lovers is what you both were! Never meant to be, never will be!” The taunts persisted.

Samurai Jack held her lifeless body close, hoping for a miracle, but that never came.

“I’m… so… sorry…” he cried as he buried his face next to hers.

Aku’s laugh echoed through the inner sanctum as the tower shook from the battle outside. Explosions that were barely audible resounded in their ears. Aku headed over to show Jack the true weight of his failure. He pulled down what seemed to be a zipper on the wall as it opened with a mysterious hiss.

Jack could only helplessly look up at how much worse things were going.

The window opened to a horiffic sight. The battle was not going well. Despite the growing mounds of corpses of Aku’s terrible horde, it was a desperate fight for survival for Jack’s men and women. Their ammunition began to run dry, their blades ran dull. Bloody pools of reds, blues, and greens mixed with the black of Aku’s sentries littered the battlefront. Screams and shouts were drowned out by the clatter of bladed, mechanical legs. Several legions began to retreat. Lone survivors lingered in a dazed and shocked awe, some missing limbs, others searching for loved ones buried in the corpses.

Hope was lost.

The black demon bent down, facing Jack, a devilish green smile that stretched before him. “Annihilating your scum will set an example to all who dare oppose Aku!” He rose and laughed maniacally once more.

Enough.

Jack collected himself as his rage fueled high. He clenched his fists and he let out a yell that might as well have been heard around the world.

“AAAKUUUUU!!!!!!!” Jack pulled out his sword from Ashi’s gut as her limp body fell back into her pool of blood. He didn’t bother giving her a second look as he jumped high in the air, sword held above his head, about to strike.

Aku was too absorbed in what he perceived to be his victory to realize what came down upon him.

Jack screamed and brought the blade crashing down on the cursed demon, slicing down from his neck to the ground. The wisps of darkness burned to ash and blew away.

They both came crashing down as the evil one attempted to retaliate, sending scores of his black tendrils after the Samurai, only for them to be cut down with precision and ease. Eventually, only his upper torso and left arm was left, him weakly gripping the pillar behind him that he rested his head on.

“Heh heh heh… killing me won’t undo the past, nor bring back your sweet Ashi.” he proudly, but weakly spat. “My unspeakable evil has reached through the stars and eons!”

“No.” the Samurai said. He pointed his sword at him and shouted, “your unspeakable evil ends today! The present and future shall flourish in your absence!”

Jack yelled and leaped once more and drove the sacred blade between Aku’s eyes and twisted. The devil screamed and convulsed as his body lit and burned away to ash. The reign of Aku’s terror was finally over.

Slowly coming back to his senses, Jack calmly sheathed his sword and turned away. He almost let the madness drive him again, but not this time. He turned to Ashi and met her eyes once more, still wide open and the tears that cascaded down her face were dried and present. He closed her beautiful, lifeless eyes gently as he planted a kiss in her now cold lips and picked her up on front of him in his exhausted arms. Her blood dripped from her wound, further staining what was left of Jack’s gi. She’s become another memory, another casualty. Just as he feared.

He marched onwards to the front gate that opened to the light of the outside world. Much to Jack’s surprise, a miracle occured! He wondered in the back of his mind how he was going to go through the remnants of the armies of Aku, but no more thought was necessary. The beetle drones, the destroyers of many, were all offline! The bots fell and lay where they once stood. The remaining minions and mercenaries scattered in panic and retreat in realizing their main support was lost for good. Loud cheering echoed with the machine gun fire, sword clashing, and explosions that rocked the barren wasteland. It seems that when Aku died, his control over his machines and minons vanished as well, leaving them either permanently disabled or lost and demoralized.

Many of Jack’s friends came over charging and dealing with the stragglers with ease.

“At least they made it.” Jack sighed and looked down on his love. “Oh, how I wish you could see this, Ashi…”

The first to arrive was Flora and some of her sisters. They were hurt from battle, but that didn't sour their spirit. “Woohoo! We hit them right in their daddy bags!” she cheered. Many others joined in.

But when she looked at Jack, her joy dropped harder than a boulder off a cliff. The others came around to their hero.

“Jack… What happened?” Flora inquired. Her father, the Scotsman, appeared behind her in shock of the scene before him.

“I defeated Aku, but it came at a terrible price. Ashi is gone.” he calmly spoke.

“Jack… I’m so sorry… I…” the Scotsman apologized.

“No.” Jack interrupted. “You both have nothing to be sorry for. This is a great victory, and we all gave our lives and more to make sure it happened.”

Flora took charge and carried Ashi’s body respectfully from Jack’s arms. She could only offer a smile for him. Her father said, “We’ll make sure this lass gets a proper funeral, laddie!”

“Thank you.” the depression clear in his voice as he walked away, head down. He couldn’t bear seeing the one he loved so much taken away from him. They all wanted to offer him support, but couldn’t. He always left before anyone could.

He walked on seeing rebels, soldiers, knights, Spartans, and civilians from many cultures and races cheering and raising their worn weapons in victory. Others scrambled to tend to the survivors, the grieving, and the wounded. The most prominent was Olivia, from the village of kids Jack saved from a rave cult decades earlier. She slung her father’s old, beaten hunting rifle on her back and jumped atop a tall mound of robot corpses. Despite the blood from her bandaged injuries, she still rose her hands high and proclaimed,

“Samurai Drop!!!”

The crowds around rose their hands in the signature “S” shape and sang their song of praise and danced the Samurai.

In any other day, Jack would have admired, even joined in on the display, but now was different. This war cost so many, and he lost too much now. He lost his Empire and parents. He lost many of those who fought alongside him. Now, he lost his one chance at true love in his disastrous and lonely life in an instant. He walked on, the crowds’ cheering left them unaware of his sudden departure.

As he reached the edge of the crater where the limits of Aku’s fortress began, he saw a figure, standing at the edge, observing him. Jack gripped his sword at the sight of this unknown man. One of Aku’s minions? No. He was something more. Upon better observation, he noticed the following:

Tall and well-built, in a black bodysuit, clearly worn from combat. He wore a raggedy cloak that covered his chest, part of his head, and flowed to the wind from his back. He carried in one hand, a large katana that sported a red and black diamond pattern on the hilt, the blade dripping black from the oil of the drones. On the other, he shouldered a large silver and chrome plated heavy machine gun, barrel smoking from use and magazine half-empty. His face was expressionless, but seemed familiar. Blue skin, bald and covered his eyes with cracked red sunglasses.

“Could it be?” Jack wondered.

Before he could investigate further, the figure turned and walked away. He gave chase, and when he reached the edge and looked, the man was gone, except for a trail of footprints that continued for as far as the eye can see to the northeast.

“There’s nothing there except for…” before Jack could continue, a faint pillar of light emerged from the distance. Dark storm clouds collected around the faint sparkle and thundered.

Upon realizing the obvious, he spake to himself, “This could be my one chance to set things right. For Ashi, for everyone.”

Near him, he found several discarded transports his army used to get to battle, among them was a motorcycle very similar to the one he drove for many years. Upon inspection, the engine worked, hull was intact, and there’s more than enough fuel to get over to the light.

As he headed off with newfound vigor in his spirit, he mouthed the phrase that became his mantra,

“Gotta get back, back to the past… Samurai Jack…”

#samurai jack #season 5 #episode ci #series finale #jashi #ashi #jack #aku #headcanon #fanfic #typed this out on my phone lol #the first fanfic i wrote in my life

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pendragonfics · 7 years

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Baby, She Had No Fear

Don’t Fear the Reaper: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Paring: Pietro Maximoff/Reader

Tags: female reader, alternate universe - canon divergence, a lil bit canon compliant, mystery, ghosts, pre-Wanda/Vision, healing, mutants powers, fluff, angst, some spoilers for Captain America: Civil War.

Summary: The events of the series catch up to Reader and Pietro, leading the pair to become more transparent with one another over a few issues with your past.

Notes: I used some Romanian words, but they’re from Google Translate. If they’re a poor translation, please say so! I’d rather fix a mistake than have it immortalised online.

frumoasa - beautiful

prinţesă - princess

prinţ - prince

Word Count: 1,640

Posting Date: 2016-06-30

Current Date: 2017-05-22

Somehow, in all of what had happened to Pietro and yourself, there was no way that anyone could have guessed that the media caught on. Maybe it was because Tony hadn't upgraded the cameras on base to a more secure database, or that Professor X just couldn't figure out how to shoo the paparazzi away, but there stood the big problem. A photograph of you, the once nondescript healer of the Avengers, and the now not late Pietro Maximoff. In embrace.

Nat had suggested just to ignore them, and you wished you could. She had the nerve to get up in the face of the government and walk away free because of her skill set and bad-assery. You, you - you might be able to do that in a daydream. And ignore them? It was like ignoring the fact there was a migraine eroding your brain one cell at a time into a world of pain.

"At least it's a nice shot," Pietro plops a newspaper before you. He's in a good mood, not that he had any reason to not be. He was quite the bachelor, yet, he wasn't available. It still surprised you that he chose, out of anyone in the world, you. "It could have been of a bad angle, or timing."

You nod. "Yeah, I know. It's just...now everyone's sending me letters to resurrect their cats and dead Aunts."

Pietro's eyebrows skyrocket. "They are?"

Pushing the newspaper away from you, you shrug your shoulders, "I haven't checked my mail box, but I bet they're thinking of asking. Why can't the newspapers leave us alone? I mean, we're just a couple of freaks."

He pushes you, all but throwing you face-up upon the couch. "Yeah, but sexy freaks."

"I thought I asked for you two to not snog like that in the living area," Rhodey frowns. "It's off-putting."

You lean up to see everyone's favourite War Machine. He's looking fantastic today; instead of wearing his usual polo shirt or military suit, it seems someone has coaxed him into a Hawaiian-themed button-down.

"Don't mind Sir Party Poop here," Tony Stark beams, whacking Pietro somewhat affectionately on the shoulder. "He's just a tad antsy to watch his favourite TV show in peace."

You lean up, and straightening your blouse, lean over to hand the remove to Rhodey. "It's okay, I totally understand. I adjusted the TV when Stark wasn't looking to delay a few seconds, don't you worry - you won't miss your show."

The vet beams. "Thanks, Reaper."

---

Hours later, when the sun has dipped down behind the mountains and the horizon too, you are woken from your shallow sleep by the voice of the man beside you in the sheets. "What did you mean by freaks?" His voice is quiet, but steady, and you catch your breath on something inside you you can't understand.

"Baby, what do you mean? I know you're awake. Your heart pitter-patters so fiercely." Pietro adds.

The sheets rustle as you turn to face the face of the man you saved, and you love. In the waning moonlight, you can faintly see the curve of his face, the way his hair shines, falling into his face like a palm tree's fan-shaped leaves. He's beautiful, despite what his past has done to him, both good and cruel alike.

"You're being sappy again," you moan, reaching for his hands.

Pietro's grasp is around your fingers, and slowly, he intertwines his digits with yours almost alike a basket weave. "That is because I love you," his Sokovian accent lingers upon his lips, making you wish you could kiss them fiercely, for the rest of eternity. "You haven't answered my question, though, frumoasa."

You groan, but this time, not because of your overwhelming desire to kiss your boyfriend. Or is it? No, no, you have all the time in the world to kiss later on. But right now, you are facing both your future, the man laying before you in The Smurfs boxers, and the past which lies within you.

"I haven't told you about my life before ... before training with Professor Xavier, have I?" you murmur.

Pietro shakes his head. "No, none. It was like to me, that you came alive from that point onward, that there was no ________ before that time."

Your chest fails to hold back a sob. "That - that I wish. That I didn't exist before. I came from a very lovely family, who had terrible ideas. My father was a politician in the senate, and one day, he came home, and had a heart attack right there, on the steps to the house." you confess.

Pietro is near silent, his fingers warm against your own.

"...I basically healed him right there where the world could see. And they did see, there were reporters on my tail. My mother hushed it quickly with the press, but still, there were rumours that I was a freak of nature ... an abomination. I dropped out of school, and barely saw eye-to-eye with my mother and father after I saved him."

"Why? You did a good thing, love," his frown-lies are embossed in the silver of the moon.

You nod. "I come from a very religious place in this country, where any miracle cannot be from God unless there is a sign, or something. They wanted me dead, I heard them praying for me one night before bed, to go back to hell. I ran away from home before -- Pietro, they called a local exorcist to perform on me, and, and it terrified me! These weren't my parents! But, I got abducted by a contact of my father ..." your throat is thick, eyes wide and heavy, and you choke out, "I was stolen from the street to use my mutation on the battlefield overseas," you weep.

Pietro's arm wrenches you toward him, and before you know it, your tears are wetting the sheets between you, his nightclothes, his skin, and you're remembering all the things you had managed to forget.

"Oh my love," he shudders, his eyes glistening in the dark. "Oh, what pain we have felt in our lives. I am so sorry to make you speak these awful words, my baby, my prinţesă." His words are heavy, bringing you back from the pictures which flash before your closed eyes, memories on fast-forward.

"But we've both died," you remind him. "I'm not the same girl as I was before, nor are you. Pain isn't something which makes us, and yes, it may break us ... but not now. We are stronger."

His nose nuzzles against yours, warming the tears you had shed. "You are right, my love." he kisses your cheeks, your nose, your lips, "You have no fear. And I have you, as much as you have me. All will be well."

You nod, leaning closer to kiss below his ear. "I love you too, my prinţ."

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