no bc jake being a smiley kisser would mean anytime he's overwhelmed with affection he'd go to kiss your cheek and be pressing his smiling face into your cheek, like can you imagine aadghkghhh-
On January 5, 1835, James Hamilton, a professor of mathematics in Nashville, Tennessee, felt a sharp burning sensation in his left leg. Looking down, he saw a bright flame shooting from his thigh. He slapped it with his hand, but could not put it out. Then he closed his hands over the flame to cut off the oxygen supply and managed to extinguish it. The incident occurred outside in below-freezing weather. Later the professor examined the burn. It was three-fourths of an inch in width and three inches long. His underpants were burned through at the point of the injury, but there was no scorching around the hole. His trousers were not burned at all.
On January 5, 1820, in Marylebone, London, a series of unexplainable spontaneous fires began to break out in the Wright household, where Elizabeth Barnes, a ten-year-old girl, was employed as a servant. Mrs. Wright's clothes caught fire twice while she was in the kitchen with the girl and once when she was alone. Elizabeth was accused of causing the fires, but Mrs. Wright defended the girl, believing that the fires were caused by "some unknown means." Eventually, Mrs. Wright "was so dreadfully burned she was put to bed." As Mr. Wright left the room he heard his wife scream. The bed was in flames. The Wrights had Elizabeth arrested.
On January 5, 1895, fires in the Brooklyn home of Adam Colwell culminated in the frame building's destruction. All morning, fires had been bursting out spontaneously in the furniture and on the wallpaper, frequently in front of investigating policemen, and Colwell, his wife, son, and stepdaughter. The fire marshal said, "It might be thought that the child Rhoda started two of the fires, but she cannot be considered guilty of the others as she was being questioned when some of them began."
Text from: Almanac of the Infamous, the Incredible, and the Ignored by Juanita Rose Violins, published by Weiser Books, 2009
Illustration: Man on Fire (1985) by Thomas Woodruff
Hey Brad Dourif tumblr girlies (affectionate), I collected every Brad Dourif movie I could find on youtube and put it into a playlist.
If you find one that isn't on the list, let me know, and I'll add it.
Edit: ok, looks like I'm gonna be spending real earth dollars to purchase Impure Thoughts (1986), rip it, and upload it perhaps to google drive or something but y'all gotta promise to behave about it and keep it on the downlow.