#stallion halter show

[roananddappleranch]

You can follow me on all my socials right here: https://linktr.ee/roananddappleranch

The Reining and Ranch Horse Association (RRHA) put on their June show, and I decided to enter with my newest stallion R&DR Bomb Burgundy. I was so impressed with how well he did, considering this was his first show and he wasn't used to being in front of so many people when he was working. The crowd nor the new setting deterred him, and he did his job so well. I was worried he was going to act up when it came down to being in the halter show as there would be so many sounds and sights that he wasn't used to, but there was very minimal uproar from him. Ultimately I don't care if we don't win anything, this was just a great way for us to be exposed to the show world and he hopefully knows that no matter where he is, I'm gonna be there with him and he'll be safe.

[tofics]

Broken - Chapter 5

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Summary: A year has passed since Joel and Ellie have returned to Jackson when he finds you on patrol, half frozen and half burning up. Jackson takes you in and nurses you back to health, welcoming you as the newest member of their community. The more time passes, Joel realizes that you and him have more in common than he likes… Until one day, everything changes and you get a gift that he’ll never get.

Word Count: 6472 words

Warnings: feelings of shame, mention of child death, developing feelings and the uncertainty that comes with that, crying, cuddling, and, at long last, fluff, fluff, and more fluff!

A/N: Brace yourselves, for this is the quiet that comes before the storm. This was so hard to write because the pain of the reader and Joel stands so much at the forefront and going into lighter, happier feelings beyond that requires such a drastic mindset change 😮‍💨 I'm pretty satisfied with the outcome though. I hope you enjoy! And, remember, come Friday, Aug. 16th, we're back on a regular posting schedule! 😊

Chapter 5 - New Leafs and Old Foes

"Hoooo, eaaaasy there girl, easy." The mare neighs nervously and raises on its hindlegs. You stop your movement, but don't retreat, instead digging your heels deeper into the mud. Opposite of you, Savannah, the stable's keeper, is mirroring your moves, struggling to stay upright in the slick mud as she tugs on the mare's reins. The animal comes down with a thump and sprays the both of you with specks of sludge as she neighs again, her panicked eyes flicking back and forth between you and your helper.

"Easy now, girl, easy." The calmness of your voice finally seems to register with the panicked animal when her eyes flit back to you and lock on you. Her nostrils flare and she shifts on her legs uneasily, but her hoofs remain on the ground. You gonna work with me, girl? You convey the question with your eyes, a silent exchange between the two of you. It takes a moment, but eventually you notice the horse's body language shift - the 'yes' you were waiting for.

The animal is still panting, but she allows your touch when you run your flat hand over her strong neck. "Atta girl." She snorts in response to your whispered soothing appraisals and you can't help but smile.

"What are you, the horse whisperer or something?" Savannah carefully slips the reins into your hand with a big grin.

"Call me Robert Redford, sweetheart." You tip your imaginary cowboy hat in her direction with a wink.

"Phew, she ain't half bad, hu?" Tommy whistles through his teeth and you turn at the sound, giving the two brothers a small smile and wave in response.

Joel just grunts, but smiles back at you with a nod of his head.

"Don't think I don't saw that." Tommys voice matches the foolish grin on his face.

"Don't know what you're talkin' about. Ain't nothing to see." Joel clicks his tongue and leads his horse into the stable, away from the paddock where your little show took place. Once they're inside his stallion's box, he takes off the saddle and the halter, placing both on their respective mounts in the stable.

"Hey, no shame in fallin' in love, brother." Tommy's voice drifts over from the box next to Joel's. "After all," - his head pops up over the barrier, plastered with the same silly grin as before - "wouldn't dream of judgin' you when I'm guilty of the same crime." He sticks his left hand in the air and pointedly twirls the golden band on his ring finger.

Joel snorts but doesn't shoot back. Instead he heads back outside into the fresh spring air. It's one of those days that make it look like summer, all sparkling blue sky dotted with fleecy clouds and warm sunshine, but set one foot into a shadowy area and you're back in winter, with wind that's still got a sharp bite to it and temperatures that'll have your teeth chattering.

Joel tugs his on the collar of his jacket as he approaches the paddock's fencing, trying to shield himself from the chilly breeze that blows past the stable's shadowy entrance. It won't take more than an hour, but for now, only one half of the paddock is glistening in the sun, the trampled mud and sludge sparkling in the warm rays where the rain water has collected in little pools.

"C'mon, baby, c'mon. That's it. Atta girl." Your voice dances through the air and Joel watches the latest addition to the stable trot alongside you with ease, the panic of just a few minutes ago seemingly forgotten. It doesn't surprise him in the least. Your lures are so sweet, not only by word but by sound, delivered in a soft and light trill that could fit right in with the chirps of the birds that are coming out more and more each day. 'Talk to me like that, and I'd follow you anywhere too,' he thinks and feels the immediate internal backlash.

For fuck's sake. Get it together.

Of course Joel knows what Tommy's talking about. He's caught himself in moments like these one too many times not to know. That doesn't mean he has to admit it, though. Nor does he have to like it.

It's been a long time since anyone stirred something inside of him the way you do. There was Tess - she and him had been partners, both in business and in bed, but there had been nothing romantic about it. What he had with her was different, more down-to-the-point oriented. In business terms, it was a perfect match. She was the social baseline to their partnership, yet no less ruthless than Joel. He sometimes admired her for it, how she held on to that part of herself that made her more human. He lost touch with that side of him for years and had no interest in rebuilding it, not until he met Ellie anyway. She's softened him and brought him back to life in ways he didn't think were possible anymore.

So perhaps it shouldn't be that big of a surprise that you do something to him. And you have, from the start. Joel's not one to care for other people's business unless it's somehow related to him, and yet, he has found himself wondering about you time and time again. You mostly keep to yourself, but you're amazing with Ellie. You seem to share his love for silence, but you can easily talk his ear off if he gets you going on the right topic.

But more than that - and perhaps, most importantly so - he sees something in you that reminds him of himself, in the most painful way. He can see you trying to hide it around Ellie, but your occasional shut-downs never go undetected by him. Thankfully, you haven't had any meltdowns since that one time, but there are smaller signs of when you retreat somewhere into the back of your mind. The smile on your face becomes less genuine, like a cheap knock-off version of the real deal. Your eyes cloud over and lose the vibrancy they usually shine with. And sometimes, your arm wanders over your chest and digs into your other arm, like you're trying with all your might to hold yourself together.

Those moments are the worst for you, as far as he can tell. He's found himself wanting to reach over and gently losen the grip you have on your arm, to hold your hand and let it squeeze him instead, but of course he doesn't. Joel doesn't think it's his place, or if you'd even want him to. He never asks. He doesn't know how. And it's pissing him off.

He feels like a goddamn teenager all over again, and those years are well behind him. Hell, he's currently got a teenager at home, he's got no business acting the way he does. But it's just like it was back then, all those years ago. You come into his proximity and boom. It's like he's on fire. His palms break out into a sweat and his heart is hammering in his chest. It's pathetic, the way your sheer presence sometimes reduces him to a sixteen year old hormonal boy, when his real age is twice that and then some.

Worse than that, despite being thrice the age of a teenager, he's apparently about as good at hiding his crush as he was back then. Thankfully, Ellie hasn't caught on to it - yet, she likely wouldn't let him hear the end of it - and as far as he can tell, neither have you, but Maria keeps looking at him funny and this isn't Tommy's first comment regarding you either. Leave it to his brother to rat him out to his wife.

Flipping his collar back down, Joel exposes his neck to the chilled air around him in hopes of it having the same effect as a cold shower. Lord knows he could need one.

You feel Joel‘s gaze on you before you spot him leaning against the fence, looking better than he should be allowed to. A faint memory of some women’s magazine’s article pops up in the back of your head, something about how the entirety of an outfit should never consist of just jeans, and yet you couldn’t disagree more. Dressed in a lined denim jacket and a pair of pants made of the same fabric, he looks more like a catalogue model than a failed fashion ensemble. The cowboy hat he's been wearing lately sits on his salt and pepper hair, rounding off the ensemble like a cherry on top.

"Howdy, partner," you call out and watch with satisfaction as a small smile plays out on Joel's face. He tries to hide it in the same way he often pretends not to be amused by Ellie's jokes, pushing his bottom lip out and biting down on it from the inside. Clearly he's unaware of how little it's working, or how terribly adorable he looks doing it.

"Mornin'," he replies when you've almost reached the fence, the remnants of his hidden smile still visible in the twitching corners of his mouth.

The mare behind you snorts uneasily and you take a step back to softly pat her neck, but your eyes stay on Joel. "Patrol all done?"

"Mh-hmm. Haven't seen you on patrol in a while." The way he says it, it sounds like an unspoken question, and you understand why.

When you had begged Maria to take you off patrol, she had agreed instantly, probably persuaded (and somewhat concerned) by the cascade of tears running down your face. "Did something happen?," she had asked, the question loaded with the unspoken add-on of 'with Joel' and you just shook your head no, a wordless workaround for the very lengthy real answer you didn't have the strength to give, nor had the right words for. After all, how could you explain that what had brought you to her doorstep wasn't a miss-step on Joel's side, but a melt-down on yours and the subsequent overwhelming shame of Joel not only having been a witness, but the one to have helped you through it? A 'no' was just so much easier, and even though Maria didn't look like she fully believed you, she took you off patrol and gave you the day off, with the reminder that you could come talk to her about anything, anytime.

The next morning, you were back on Tommy and Maria's doorstep, asking if you could be placed with livestock care instead. You were nowhere nearly fully-recovered, but shame and worry had driven you out of your house and back to theirs. You weren't gonna be a leech, living off of other people's hard work. No matter how low you felt, you were determined to contribute to this community - preferably somewhere that wasn't right next to Joel. Tommy was eyeing you suspiciously, concern written all over his face, and a vague memory of him showing up behind Joel's house while you were 'chopping firewood' popped into the back of your head. The blood rushed to your head and painted you a deep shade of red, but you withstood his gaze regardless. Not a day later, you started at the stables. You haven't been back to patrol since.

"Remember how you said you thought I would be working with the animals, given my background on a farm? Well, turns out you were on to something. I didn't know how much I missed it until I was right back in it." You smile at him and try to ignore the feeling of guilt that's trying to take hold in your stomach. Even though you know you don't 'owe' Joel an explanation, the last thing you want is for him to be thinking you're avoiding him.

Especially if the opposite is true.

You're thriving in your new job placement, there's no denying that. You can't even really take credit for the idea either - it was simply the first thing you could think of in the heat of the moment, a fluke, really, but in a weird, cosmical-fate-kind-of-way, it looks like your abrupt change of profession has landed you exactly where you need to be. The work has a sense of familiarity about it that - for once (miraculously) - doesn't bring about pain. Instead, the smell of hay and manure takes you back to your childhood farm's stables, and so many of your daily tasks come naturally to you, your hands seemingly moving on their own accord through muscle memory. Sure, it's far more labor-intensive than any of your patrols have been and a lot smellier - most days, you come home covered in tiny flakes of straw and various spots of god-knows-what on your clothing, reeking of manure, wool and hay, but you don't mind. Somehow, feeling the day's work in your bones and carrying the evidence of your labor on your clothes helps you feel a sense of achievement at the end of a day, something that you didn't have on your patrols. On top of that, the body-intensive work seems to be a tremendous help with your insomnia: more often now than not, it takes you a lot less time to fall asleep. From all of your job's perks, this might just be your personal favorite.

There is only one downside to your new work arrangement, and ironically, it's the very reason you ditched patrols in the first place:

You don't get to see Joel as much as you did before.

You only managed to avoid him for a couple of days after the 'incident' before he tracked you down and set you right. It hadn't been enough time to properly work through the aftermath of your meltdown, so even though he made a point of saying you had nothing to be embarrassed about, shame and guilt stayed glued to you for days, despite your various tries to rid yourself of them. They were most present when he was present, a walking and talking reminder of who you'd bared your insides to in one of your weakest moments, and you found it easier to work through your feelings when Joel wasn't around. Your new job came in quite handy that way.

And then of course, there was that kiss on your forehead that you kept and keep thinking about, no matter how much you try not to. It added to the pile of feelings you had to sort through, spicing up the mix by adding very conflicting emotions.

On one hand, thinking back to the gentle gesture makes something tiny flutter in your belly, a sensation you're not sure you've ever truly felt before. Sure, there have been men in your life, but most of these arrangements were just that, arrangements, a means-to-an-end, an offering of yourself in exchange for safety or food. By some miracle, your life in Jackson has no need for arrangements like that. You still have your doubts about your safety, although that's more of a general concern that applies to the safety of Jackson as a whole, rather than concerns in regards to specific members of Jackson. Men are no longer a double-edged sword that can provide safety or be what you need protecting from, they're suddenly an option. It's a concept that is entirely new to you and that you weren't thinking about in the least, until that goddamn kiss on your forehead.

That kiss has opened up a world of possibilities you never previously had the luxury of even thinking about, and now, you can't stop thinking about it. It's come to a point where you only have to be in Joel's proximity to feel that tiny flutter in your belly. It's both delightful and entirely terrifying, so much so that you find yourself in a constant, sometimes overlapping loop of wanting to be close to Joel and wanting to get as far away from him as possible.

"Yeah well, I get it. Might've won against one horse, but an entire farm's worth of livestock? I can't compete with that." There's a glint in Joel's eyes, a small playful twinkle that creases the corners of his eyes and tugs on his lips and you can't help but laugh.

"Oh, don't sell yourself short now. You could've taken on two horses easily, maybe even three. It's the cows that are my weak-spot. You never stood a chance against those."

Joel's hand dramatically clutches at his chest as if you just delivered a blow to it. "Oof. Did what I could, though. Gotta know when to quit."

There it is again, that little flutter in your belly as you giggle and hit his arm playfully. It warms your belly and sends warmth up into your nose, your cheeks and your ears, even your hands and fingers. The skin that touched his jacket on impact is tingling and you suddenly have the strange urge to lay a hand on the jeans material again, though this time more softly and not in a rushed smack.

The impulse is so bizarre to you that you quickly withdraw your hand and tighten your clutch on the reins again. "Better get this lady inside her box. She's had quite the eventful morning."

The town hall is already bustling when you arrive. Although town meetings are open to everyone in Jackson, attendance isn't required unless you've been summoned, so the audience usually consists of Jackson's adults, with just a few of the kids and teens here and there.

Tonight is no different. As expected, quite a few seats are already occupied, but some of the backrows still have some free spots. Just when you choose one - close to the aisle, and, conveniently, close to the back exit - Evelyn claps her hands together. "Okay, let's get started, everyone." Just like any good classroom back in the day, everyone quiets down quickly until you can only hear the occasional foot shuffle or coughing.

"Thank you. I hereby declare this town meeting open. Gary, it's your turn." Evelyn takes her seat in the half-circle that's positioned so it faces the crowd and motions towards one of her neighbors.

Town meetings always follow the same structure. Someone on the council opens the meeting by giving an overview of the last month. This includes all kinds of stats: how that month's harvest went, animal count, town incidents (if any took place) or patrol reports about infected sightings or run-ins with raiders. Presumably, this is also the segment in which they provided updates about your health, back when you first arrived in Jackson. As far as journalism goes, this is the closest to a news source that Jackson has.

The news segment is followed by the 'open floor'. For this part, people can bring forward their nuisances that they were unable to resolve on their own. Just like the town meeting itself, this segment is open to every inhabitant of the town, council members included. You have yet to see a serious issue be brought up for this segment, but that speaks for the town's conflict management. Most people hash it out between themselves, and if anything does land in front of the council, it's typically something small or petty, like a drunken dispute or a missed shift.

The last item on the agenda tends to be the most interesting one: pending tasks, jobs and missions.

As with any town, small tasks and jobs can come up that are out-of-the-ordinary or temporary, yet no less urgent or to be overlooked. According to Joel, this is where they sometimes offer special rewards, depending on the appeal of the task. So far, there has been nothing in this segment that's caught your attention, but this part always has you on high alert.

You lean forward in anticipation as Tommy reads out a few smaller tasks that need to be taken care of, waiting for a good catch for yourself.

Surprisingly, you don't have to wait very long.

Joel's not a huge fan of town meetings. They tend to bore him, but he attends them anyway, mostly for Tommy and Maria and because it's good to get updates about the town once in a while. For today's meeting, there might have been the additional motivational factor of you being there, but he tries not to think about that too much.

Joel comes in as one of the last people. Most seats are already taken, but he doesn't mind, preferring to stand anyway.

Although you sit with your back to him, he spots you almost instantly, the backside of you standing out to him as if someone's casting a spotlight on you.

The meeting drones on, and Joel only half listens as he's leaning against one of the wooden pillars. His eyes wander across the room periodically, taking in Jackson's people as they react to news and chatter amongst themselves occasionally. It's a good way to get a read of the room, a habit he picked up in Boston and hasn't been able to shake yet. Despite Jackson being relatively safe, he still feels the need to get a feel for the current mood of Jackson's inhabitants. Never know when things might turn sour.

There's no denial about where his eyes wander most frequently. Every time he catches himself, he averts his gaze and hopes you don't feel him staring holes into the back of your head, just to repeat the process a couple of minutes later. You seem pretty relaxed, judging by your body language, until it's Tommy's turn to announce upcoming tasks and missions. He might have missed if you weren't secretly the center of his attention, but he immediately catches the way you lean forward when Tommy begins to speak.

"As Gary mentioned, one of our cows passed away at the start of the month. We knew it was coming and we hoped she'd pull through the winter, and bless that girl, she did. Still, we're one cow short now, and that just won't do. We'd like to put together a crew of at least two people to scour the nearby towns and places we last knew to hold some cows, see if any of them are still there. Any takers?"

To Joel's surprise, your hand flies up almost instantly.

Adding to his surprise, he feels his own hand raising before he even knows what he's doing.

Tommy's mouth twitches as his eyes land on his big brother. "And it looks like we got two volunteers!" You turn around in your seat, following Tommy's gaze to somewhere behind yourself before your eyes lock with Joel's. Joel can see the surprise on your face and something else that he can't quite place, and for a second, he's worried he's overstepped. "Perfect. We'll hash the details out later in person." Tommy nods to you and then to Joel, still clearly trying to hide a smirk behind quivering lips. "Okay, moving on. Angelo's caught a cold, so we need someone to take over his shift at the school..."

Tommy's voice fades into the background. Your eyes are still locked on Joel's, the same unreadable expression on your face.

Done messed up now, Joel thinks and has the urge to bang his head against the wooden pillar he's leaning on.

But just then - miraculously - you smile.

Tommy keeps his instructions brief: checkout all last known cow-locations and only bring one back if the circumstances allow for it. You are not to risk your life for that of a cow.

He spends more time repeating that last clause than he does going over the initial plan.

"Do you have a history of saving cows or something?," you ask Joel on your way to the supplies shelter. He responds with something of a chuckle and a scoff.

"Just saying, sounded like he was particularly worried about you risking your life for a cow, of all things."

"Yeah? Who says that wasn't directed at you? Ain't me that's workin' in livestock after all." Joel looks at you with half a smile and you feel that little tingle in your belly respond immediately.

How am I going to survive an entire mission next to this man?, you think and feel the slightest pink seeping into your cheeks.

"Maybe, but he was looking at you the entire time. Am I gonna have to drag you out of there if we see a cow being attacked by infected? I'm just asking so I know what to expect, you know. To prepare."

His snort is paired with a slight eye-roll and you giggle like the little school-girl he makes you feel like.

Betsy gets the two of you sorted with all the supplies you could need. An assortment of ropes, fire-starting-kits, cans of food and a health-kit is already littered on the large table in the middle as she adds two small sleeping bags.

"Now Joel, I know you've been on runs before, so you know how this goes. Y'all can go over to the weapon's den and get whatever y'all fancy. This right here is to cover the survival aspect of it all." Betsy chatters along while she continues to pile supplies onto the table. "Y'all don't gotta take everythin' we hand out, but it's highly recommended that you do. I don't think I gotta say this, but whatever you use up is gone, so make sure you find spares unless you wanna be fresh out of somethin'. Wouldn't complain if you bring back a few extras of whatever I give you either, but it's not a must. I know what it's like out there. I'll just be glad when you two come home safe."

You nod along while you examine everything she puts out on to the table. This is worth gold. Everything you could think of is accounted for, and then some.

You can't help but think that some people out there would kill for a set-up like this. If people knew about Jackson...

"Okay, one more thing." Betsy walks into the adjoining room and returns with a packed up tent in her arms. "It ain't big, but I expect y'all won't mind that, 'specially with temperatures still droppin' below freezin' at night. I reckon y'all might wanna snuggle up, for warmth and all."

You feel the tips of your ears burning while the rest of your face hurries to catch on, coloring you a deep shade of red. Snuggle with Joel. Betsy might as well have suggested you could kiss for warmth with the way you feel about the suggestion. Awkward, definitely, but worse: excited.

Crap crap crap.

You discreetly glance sideways at Joel who appears to be looking anywhere at you, then becomes intensely interested in one of the backpacks Betsy is offering. It might be your imagination, but you could swear that Joel's ears look a lot more flushed than normally.

You start off into your mission early the next morning while it's still dark out. Tommy sees you off at the gate.

"Y'all got everything you need?"

The two of you nod.

"Good. Be back safe. Watch out for each other." Tommy gives a sign to the men manning the door and they crack it open just enough so you and Joel can slip through on your horses.

It's a misty morning and the damp cold seems to find every little hole in your clothing to seep through. Your breath comes out in puffy little white clouds and you thank yourself for having remembered your gloves.

Joel leads the way. Tommy had the route all mapped out for you already, although he agreed to alterations where needed. "The two of you have been out there long enough to know when to trust your gut. If anything feels off, feel free to adjust the route accordingly. Ain't no sense in sticking to a plan if it gets y'all killed," he'd said.

For now, you stick to his pre-planned route and head south-west. The first stop on your map, an old ranch called 'Spring Creek' is just two hours out.

Neither of you speak much during your ride there.

But instead of the awkward silence you were worried about, there's a mutual understanding of enjoyed silence between the two of you that you developed on your patrols together.

Spring Creek turns out to be a bust, which surprises neither of you. 'Lucky' is not really something that's in the cards anymore in this world, as you're both well aware of.

The next stop on the map is less than half an hour away, located not far of the bridge that leads over the Snake River. It's a gorgeous place, once a park and now entirely reclaimed by nature, with the first signs of game here and there, but not a cow in sight.

By the time evening rolls around, you've made it across the river and into what used to be Wilson. Supposedly, there's an old farm a little further out of town if you head west.

When Joel suggests that you save the ranch for the next day, you have no trouble agreeing considering how little daylight you have left. You let your horses trot along the highway until you reach the outskirts of town that's framed nicely by a small forest. Joel leads his horse off the road and onto the open field to where the grass meets the trees.

"Looks like pretty thick foliage. Ain't no getting through with these horses. I'd say we make camp out here. Foliage should have our backs covered nicely, and we got a clear view into each direction over the field. Whaddaya say?"

The light of your small fire dances across your face in the dark, flames leaping over your eyebrows and then cowering beneath your cheekbones, only to lick up the side of your skull in the next second.

Joel watches the fiery dance on your features and finds himself wishing he could be the one to caress your face instead of the flames, trailing your skin with the pads of his fingers the same way the light does.

Although the day's journey was uneventful, all of his senses are on high-alert. Your presence is like a steady hum in the back of his mind. It started out fine this morning, just the spark of excitement he's now used to getting when you come into his proximity. But it has progressed throughout the day, steadily gaining in size and momentum during the shared hours together. Whatever you do to him, it's pulling him towards you like a moth is drawn to the light. If you were a candle in the morning, by now, you shine as bright as the sun.

"Tell me somethin' about yourself," he hears himself say. You look up from the fire and meet his gaze, a lazy smile on your lips. "Like what?"

"Anythin'." Joel wants to know it all. You're the puzzle he can't piece together but can't put on a shelf either. He's tried, and not just once. He tried it after your first patrol together. He tried it after you became a steady guest in his house, bringing warmth and humor with you anytime you came. Joel stepped out of the fuzzy feeling you ignited in him every night, neatly folded it and put it on the shelf in the back of his mind where things go to be forgotten, only to find himself wearing it again the next time he saw you at the dining hall or at his kitchen table.

He can fool himself all he wants, but your presence brings out the truth in him regardless, no matter what he tells himself.

"That's a broad frame."

"I have a broad interest." In you. Joel doesn't add the words, but they hang in the air regardless, almost as bright and shiny as the fire between the two of you. Joel wonders whether you can see them as clearly as he can.

You smile again and fiddle with the zipper of your jacket while you think. "You already know most of it," you finally say and Joel almost calls out bullshit, because he doesn't, not by a longshot. His knowledge on you is filled with gaps, a cloze he desperately wants to fill.

"Then tell me something I don't know yet," he says instead. Questions are piling up on his tongue, but he's biting them down.

What is that sadness that fills you on some days?

and

Do you, God forbid, know the same loss I do?

He sees it mirrored in you, the desperation and soul-wrecking-pain that comes with the loss of a child. It leaves a special kind of imprint that never really goes away, just grows over a little bit, if you're lucky, but it's always still there. Joel's sure he sees it in you, that he recognizes your pain as his own and his heart breaks at the thought of it, of what he thinks you lost, of what he lost himself.

How can I ease your pain?

Will you let me ease your pain?

Joel watches you think again, trying hard to come up with something to tell him that won't reveal too much. He knows the look. He wore it himself for years, not letting anybody close enough to read between the lines.

"You know I had a kid?" Your head perks up and he can see your eyes growing wide in surprise, pupils large and dark.

"A daughter. Name's Sarah." He feels the sting in his chest that always comes out when he talks about her for the first time. It pierces his heart with the same relentless white hot pain, but his flesh is used to it and has adapted over the years. A thick lining of tissue has grown around the spot where the dagger pierces through his skin every time he opens his wound anew. It never truly heals, never hurts any less. It does, however, take less time for the pain to subside now.

Joel takes a few deep breaths as he waits for the pain in his chest to die down. He feels your eyes still trained on him and watching him closely.

"She died the day of the outbreak. A soldier... shot her." He has to press the words out so they don't get stuck in his throat and suffocate him.

A twig snaps and bursts and sends up a shower of sparks into the cold dark air. Joel stares into the fire and waits for the pain to subside as another dagger pierces his chest.

It takes a while for his words to sink in. They bob around of the surface of your consciousness, like paper ships freshly put on water. You watch as they slowly grow heavier and begin to sink, the full weight of his words hitting you more with each word that fills up and eventually sinks to the ground of your mind where you finally grasp their meaning.

He lost a child.

Suddenly it all makes sense.

The way he sometimes looks at you with a sense of understanding that you've never been able to place before.

The way he took care of you on the day of your outburst, no questions asked.

You and her, you got the same kind of twitchy. Tommy's voice echoes in your skull and your vision blurs.

You realize you're crying.

The tears spill out of your eyes before you can stop them, a testament of your own pain, understood in the most horrible way.

You cross the fire in two big strides and fall to your knees in front of Joel where you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his shoulder.

You hold him tight, hands digging into his jacket in an effort to pull him as close as possible, while your tears soak into his shoulder. And then his arms wrap around you in return, holding you with the same feverish intensity that you're holding him with.

"I am so, so sorry," you whisper against his jacket when your tears have dried up enough for you to speak. His answer comes in the form of a kiss on the top of your head, and despite the situation, a shower of warmth rains down your spine from where his lips met your hair.

"I wish I could've met her."

"I wish you could've met her too."

The longer you keep holding on to each other, the more the tenseness leaves your body. The pain lingers, a dull throbbing sensation in your chest that is just all too familiar, but your muscles slowly loosen and you begin to melt into his embrace.

It feels almost shameful, finding pleasure in something that was born out of something so gruesome.

Joel detects the way you slowly wind down and allows himself to run a thumb over your back in small circles.

He holds you and is held back in the dancing light of the fire under the stars until the fire burns down and wishes this would never end.

Maybe he's been through enough. Maybe he's finally endured enough pain for a lifetime, because for once, the universe grants him his wish, and it doesn't end.

When he feels you snaking out of his embrace, his heart drops, his body already missing your touch where it pressed against him, but before he can mourn the moment, you're extending a hand to him.

You lead him into the tent, and his head is spinning, swimming with possibilities that seem too faint and outrageous to even reach before you open up one of the sleeping bags and slip inside, motioning for him to join you.

It takes a moment, but eventually, your sleeping bags are joined up into one large one. Joel's a broad man and sleeping bags are a tight fit on him as is, but with you pressed against his side, he could be getting strangled to death for all he cares.

You settle against him with your head on his shoulder and one arm wrapped around his belly and Joel feels like he's dreaming. He has half a mind to voice his concerns - "What about taking watch?" - but then your finger touches his lips and he ascends to heaven, the first man to be alive and knocking on heaven's door at the same time. "Not a single soul around all day. We're good," you whisper and lay your hand against Joel's cheek, where you draw the same slow circles he drew on your back earlier.

Maybe Tommy's right, is the last thing Joel thinks before he falls asleep. Maybe there's no shame in falling in love.

Series Masterlist - Mobile Masterlist

Feedback is always appreciated! If you have any requests, feel free to send them my way. I'm always happy to practice my writing! :)

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters!

Tag list: @eternallyvenus @frogsdeservelovetoo @akisfoxdevil @southernbe @nutterbitter

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog @orcasoul @foomoosworld @lilmizmoz @ashleyfilm

@casa-boiardi @sunandmuun @noisynightmarepoetry @puduvallee @aryaharmon

No pressure tags, just thought you'd maybe enjoy the update: @strawberymilktea @bensonispunk @hauntedpoetsdepartment @ellenmunn

[old-gods-new-me]

Sims 4 Horse CC [WIP]

Must Have - Pose Player

Build/Buy Mode - Ford F450 - Gooseneck Trailer - Invisible Markers for jumps & Barrels - Hanging Bridles - Trot Poles - Western Saddles [Decor] - English Saddles [Decor] - English Saddle Hanging CAS/Overrides - Better Polo Wraps - More Snaffle Bridles - Western Saddle Pad Recolor - Western Saddle v1 - Western Headstall No Nose Band - Better QH Heads - Better Horse Body - Real Horse Shoes - Realistic Horse Mesh - Show Rugs - Nylon Halter - Halters - Stallion/Gelding Anatomy Poses - Just a ride - Haute Horse 2 - Horse Whisper - Bonding w/ horse - Gallery Poses - Horse and Dog - Hoof Picking - Ground Work - Lunging

[hazel-wand]

I’ve been reading a lot of stories I want to rec recently, so I thought I’d try a bumper fic rec post of my most recent bookmarked fics. Read on for Animal Transformation, Medieval Fantasy, Canon Divergence, Shrunkyclunks and Shrinkyclinks and Florida!

< 10,000 words

The description in this is just so delicate, and the emotional punch it packs is considerable. This is the Bucky waking up out of cryo in Wakanda tearful reunion that you’ve been longing for.

20,000 - 50,000 words

This was a reread. I read an animal transformation fic (and then several more) and it made me want to reread this one, where Winter Soldier! Asset! Bucky is transformed into a dog and (unsurprisingly) gets adopted by a lonely Steve. They are what each other needs, and this is a beautiful, touching ultimately feel good story.

First things first, leveragehunters’ On a Pale Horse is one of my favourite Stucky fics, so I was predisposed to a) like a Bucky is a horse transformation fic and b) compare any horse transformation fics to that one. This story really stands up. It’s different enough that it doesn’t feel rehashed, and the essential things I love about On a Pale Horse (winning trust, equine devotion, essential goodness of the ‘rider’ character, stubborn not-a-horse antics) are all here.

Second things second, I was a horsey girl growing up. I love horses. I loved that so much of this story was about building trust between Steve and horse!Bucky, and I enjoyed all the talk about halters and lunging.

This story has so much heart and humour. There’s the usual gang (Sam is delightful here), and such a kind, stubborn, good Steve. I really adored it.

*Examines fingernails* so, you know that animal transformation fic reading binge I mentioned earlier? This is the last one. In fact, I went to leveragehunters’ AO3 page looking for On a Pale Horse (have I said how much I love that fic enough yet?) after reading The Winter Stallion, and found this story instead. It’s a Ladyhawke AU. I had to google what Ladyhawke was, and didn’t bother until after I’d read the fic. You don’t need to know anything about the film to enjoy this story. It is set in a medieval fantasy world and features my favourite flavour of pre-serum Steve (stubborn, slightly bitter, quick and with so much innate goodness, honour and self-sacrificing idiocy). He falls in with the unlikely, bickering and mysteriously-cursed duo of Bucky (grumpy, oddly vulnerable, ultimately awesome) and Sam, who is kind, witty and Sam (is there ever a bad Sam?). Also, importantly, there is a horse and he is the best horse (just ask Bucky).

We are (briefly) back to the real world after my animal transformation fic spree. And oh my goodness, if you read nothing else on this list, read this fic. It’s a Winter Soldier recovery fic except that it isn’t, it’s a Steve recovery fic. Steve has all his powers in this story, but he is so human. He is brave and loyal and snarky, but he is also so, so vulnerable, and this story shows him feeling lost and little and hurt in a way that not many stories do. Bucky is equally awesome - he’s so clearly the Bucky of the 1930’s whose main objective was keeping Steve safe. This story also has one of my favourite versions of Tony as a side character.

> 50,000 words

Alright, we have skipped happily back into medieval fantasy land for this fic. It features another of my favourite kinds of AU Steves. He’s strong and clever and has proven himself in battle, and has the confidence that goes with that, but he still remembers being the scared young man defending his village with tools not weapons. He’s honorable and down to earth, strategic but also so open to love. This fic has some of my favourite tropes (identity porn! Forbidden love! So much pining!) and is such a fun romp through this ‘swords and honour’ landscape.

And now a different kind of swords and honour. I’m very late to the party in reading this, but if you haven’t come across this Shrunkyclunks story, then do yourself a favour and settle in to read. This fic has so much humour, warmth and passion with a side of politics (but in a good way!) Bucky is a civil rights attorney, and the fact that the story is tagged for period typical homophobia and transphobia and is set in the modern day tells you the rest.

But what this story does really well is make you passionate and pissed off (alongside Bucky and Steve) about civil rights, whilst primarily being a romance story that is fun and positive. There are so many deft character touches as well that round out the supporting cast into lovable, memorable individuals (Yelena!!).

WIPs

I’m trying to be better about reading WIPs. In that spirit, here are two that I’ve started and which I’m really enjoying.

Currently 10/27 chapters posted (74,000 words)

In which MCU-verse Bucky and Steve retire and move to Florida. Steve gets into surfing and Bucky is busy gardening. Okay, my summary sucks but this story is brilliant. I’m a sucker for fic where the author clearly knows their shit. Florida is sketched so well in this story that it’s practically its own character. The story is about how being in this place (that is shown for all its wonders, flaws, and idiosyncrasies) is challenging, helping and healing a Bucky and Steve who are both in pretty bad shape at the beginning.

Currently 5/30 chapters posted (24,000 words)

This is an A/B/O AU set during WW2. Omega! Pre-serum!Steve is a mathematical genius recruited to try to break Nazi codes. There’s the right amount of codebreaky detail which goes into (to me - someone who knows nothing about codes) impressive depth and feels very authentic. This story is just getting started, but so far the characters are great (there’s an excellent supporting cast - Darcy and Wanda are early faves), and Steve is such a good mix of physical frailty and mental power. I’m interested to see how the A/B/O elements play into the story as it progresses. The setting and moreso the feel of the setting - the frustration, desperation and guilt as the team struggle to make sense of the codes and inform troop movements - is really well-realised and gripping.

[phantomwritezstuff077]

The Runt - Billy the Kid

Warnings for this chapter: physical abuse

THIS IS ALSO CROSS-POSTED ONTO MY WATTPAD: PhantomWritez2

Chapter Two

Watching obnoxious outlaws shoot their guns at the firewood being stored by the well wasn’t something that Laurie particularly enjoyed, but it was better than doing yard work all day. Laurie sat on a nearby hay bale, picking her nails as she watched the older men laugh and cheer as gunshots rang out every few seconds, smoke floating into the air like a lost feather. 

Billy shot a couple of rounds himself, showing off a few tricks as the rest of the gang watched in amusement, some even cheering for him. Laurie couldn’t help but smile a little bit as she watched it, she was actually impressed with how good this gunslinger actually was. Maybe she had even started looking up to him a little bit. 

Laurie’s horse, Artax, a pretty bay stallion stuck his head over the fence with a nicker. Resting his chin on Laurie’s shoulder. The teenager smiled, kissing the side of her horse’s muzzle with a soft giggle, stroking his face and sneaking him a few sugar cubes she had stolen from Bob earlier that morning. 

“How fast are you, kid?,” Jesse suddenly asked as he turned to Billy with a challenging look on his face. Laurie felt her face fall, she immediately recognized that tone in her estranged father figure’s voice. And she didn’t like it. 

“Hey, runt. Countdown from 3, won’t you?,” Jesse called, looking at Laurie as he and Billy took their places for the little competition Jesse had just challenged Billy to. Billy felt his face contort into a look of contempt as he heard Jesse call Laurie ‘runt.’ He barely knew the kid, sure, but even he could see how much it hurt Laurie whenever somebody called her that. 

Laurie sighed, getting up and walking closer, standing a few feet away. “On the count of three.” Her tone was blank, maybe a hint of defeat in it as well. “3, 2, 1.” The second she said the last number both men drew their guns, pulling back the hammer as they both held eye contact with each other. 

Laurie’s heart was in her throat as she watched the scene, knowing that whatever was to happen was completely out of her control. Billy inhaled deeply and slowly holstered his gun, his gaze remaining on Jesse, who still had his gun aimed at Billy. Laurie’s heart raced as her thoughts clouded her mind, and before she could stop herself she spoke up.

“Jesse, he put his gun down, you have no grounds or need to shoot him,” Laurie intervened, her voice shaking slightly as Jesse’s gaze snapped to the young teenager before it went back to Billy.

“You gotta be quicker on that draw, Billy, or you're a dead man,” Jesse said as he put his gun away, turning to look at Laurie. “Go get him a horse.” Laurie saw the look on Jesse’s face and she knew she would be in for a long screaming session from him when Billy left the ranch. She sighed and nodded, gesturing for Billy to follow her. Billy looked at Jesse once more before following the young girl to the paddock.

“Why do you let him talk to you like that?,” Billy inquired as Laurie opened and closed the gate to the pasture, holding a halter in her hand as she approached a bay mare.

“Because, I’m the runt,” Laurie replied simply, gently putting halter over the mare’s face and clipping on the lead rope, walking over to Billy who stood behind the fence. “And the runt’s have to accept that they’re always gonna be the smallest and the weakest out of everyone else in the litter. If they want something they’re gonna have to fight for it.”

“That ain’t right, kid,” Billy sighed, feeling sorry for the kid as she handed him his new horse. “You shouldn’t be getting verbally assaulted simply because you’re small.”

Laurie shrugged. “That’s just the way of the world, Kid Antrim. The people with all the advantages they could ever need always come out on top. Always.”

“Why don’t you come with me?,” Billy suggested as the two began to walk back to the barn so that Billy could prepare his supplies to leave. Laurie hesitated for a moment before she sighed heavily.

“I can’t, I would if I could because I fucking hate it here,” Laurie explained, “Jesse has always told me that I should be grateful that he didn’t shoot me dead on the spot when he caught me stealing from him. Now I’m stuck running with them until I get shot and become another body that needs to be buried.”

Billy wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure exactly what to say so he kept his mouth shut. It was both concerning and heartbreaking hearing a literal child talking and thinking the way that Laurie was. He glanced over at the little red-head as they entered the barn, Laurie went into the tack room, bringing out a saddle and bridle for Billy.

“Safe passages, Kid Antrim,” she told him as she put the saddle and bridle on the rack, “Maybe in another universe I can actually leave this place with you, maybe even find my ma.” 

Billy nodded, watching the girl leave the barn. Maybe she was right, maybe in another universe she didn’t let people mistreat her like this. Hopefully, in that universe, she wasn’t mistreated at all.

After about 10 minutes Laurie walked into Jesse’s house, catching sight of the man sitting in the kitchen and chugging a bottle of whiskey as he watched Billy say his goodbye’s to Barbara. Laurie knew better than to say anything to Jesse when he was in a bad mood, especially if that bad mood was mixed with the whiskey he was chugging like it was water. She tried to sneak past the kitchen, but before she could Jesse saw her.

“Not so fast, runt,” he spat, “Get over here.” Laurie gulped as she hesitantly walked over to him, she kept her gaze on the ground as she prepared for the yelling. However, when Jesse opened his mouth to give Laurie a lecture he saw Billy and Barbara kiss and he finally lost his patience. He roughly shoved the kid in front of him to the side, causing her to fall down before grabbing his shotgun and walking out into the front porch and taking aim at Billy. 

“Jesse, don’t,” Barbara warned as she grabbed his arm. Laurie stood up and ran outside, standing next to Barbara with wide eyes.

“Why not?,” Jesse taunted, keeping the shotgun trained on Billy as he rode off. 

“You have no grounds,” Barbara said to him. Laurie wasn’t really close with Barbara, but that didn’t mean she hated her. The two just barely spoke, but right now that didn’t matter. Because she knew that this woman was right.

Jesse had no right to shoot him.

“She’s right,” Laurie jumped in. She already knew how much trouble she was in already and that jumping into this conversation was only making her grave deeper but she didn’t care. She couldn’t let another innocent man die for nothing. “He’s never done anything wrong, and you know it. And you can’t shoot him, you won’t be able to bring yourself to pull the trigger.”

“And why is that, runt?,” Jesse asked through gritted teeth, not lowering his gun. Laurie inhaled shakily. She knew there was no going back now, and she would have to deal with the consequences later.

“Because you love him,” Laurie whispered. Jesse kept his gun up for a few moments before sighing in frustration, lowering his gun and grabbing Laurie’s wrist, dragging her into the house.

“You had no right to intervene back then, runt,” he snapped, roughly throwing her wrist out of his hand as Laurie simply stared at the ground. She knew the drill, got screamed at for 5-10 minutes, probably more backbreaking yard work assigned to her as well. 

“I’m sorry,” Laurie said. She hated being yelled at like this but she knew that she deserved it. Her gaze was on the floor, but she could still feel the chilling look of anger and hatred from Jesse boring into her.

“Are you?,” Jesse snapped, “You’re lucky I’m kind enough to let you live under my roof instead of shooting you on the spot when I first saw you. I could’ve sent you to some shitty orphanage here in Lincoln County but I didn’t. And this is my thanks?”

Laurie looked up, opening her mouth to say something in her defense, but before she could say or process anything, she felt her head snap to the side and a stinging feeling on her face as the familiar metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. Laurie froze as she finally understood what had just happened. 

Jesse had just struck her.

The tension in the air was thick, no one said a word. The only thing that you could hear was Jesse’s heavy and angered breathing. Sure, Jesse wasn’t really the nicest guy to Lauri, and he definitely was a shit father figure. But Laurie had never thought for a minute that things would ever get physical when he yelled at her. She never thought that he would go that far. But he did.

Laurie was stuck there for a moment, frozen like a spooked deer as tears stung her eyes before she inhaled shakily and quickly walked away, walking into her room before she closed and locked her door. Once the door was locked she broke down, quietly sobbing as she slumped against the wall, burying her head into her knees as she hugged them to her chest. 

She hated it here.

She needed to leave, tonight.

A/N:

Here is chapter two :)

Again: any constructive criticism is appreciated, I am always looking to improve what I am doing!

Laurie is essentially my child, I love her so much

Tag:

@slutforsnow

[mavcances]

The image board you made for horse George is SO good omg the fashion… they’re slaying left and right

anthony powell for the 101 daltmatians movie ! that's the icon glenn close

i love george being a show diva with beads on his hair and fancy horse clothing and halters. he's not a stallion so he's not showing for masculinity, he's the "omega" kind of the au but shows on male categories anyways and I SUPPORT HIM

[folfar]

yo does the tumblr void want some Sunblind? Some Auguste and friends before their lives were irrevocably destroyed and 2.5 of them died?

In Sunblind Auguste reminisces about a time he really pissed Vannes off:

Damianos has a similar look of mortification on his face as Auguste recounts this. “That,” he stutters - “those are private things. What on earth had you done ?”

“Stopped her from riding an unbroken Patran stallion some fool had brought to show off. She’s an incomparable horsewoman now but he would have killed her.” - and so of course he had interceded, said that it was a fine creature, but wouldn’t the lady do him the honour of escorting him to luncheon instead? Here, the roses are blooming in the east garden, shall we go that way, milady? And then of course after she had smiled, and curtsied, and taken his arm, they had got out of sight of the stables and she had shoved him (to little effect), stamped on his foot (to more), and told him that he’d pay for this .

Well, this is the immediate aftermath - Vannes’ revenge (phase one of her revenge, before she realised she could just fuck every single girl he liked):

It would have been fine if it weren’t for the stablemaster. Being from Barbin and, furthermore, the father of three red-headed daughters himself, he was simply putty in her hands.

“Excuse me, has the Prince gone this way recently?”

Auguste shrank farther back into his hiding place. Etien shook his head at him solemnly. “And to think,” he whispered, “all this could have been avoided.”

“Shhh!” said Auguste frantically, and tried to crunch his knees up around his ears. He didn’t think the stablemaster had seen him slip in, but —

“Yes - oh, thank you! Yes, his Lady Mother has asked for him - ha, I shall be sure to tell her! Good day!” Mother was not asking for him - Mother had a megrim and was shut up in the solar with strict instructions that no-one, particularly not her children, was to bother her. He held his breath. Maybe she’d moved on?

There was an ominous creak, like the barn door had closed. It was unusually empty, as the stablehands were all out attempting to corral the stallion. Geraint had grimly reported that it had broken its halter, and last he saw had been menacing an elderly clerk that had had the misfortune to be crossing the courtyard.

“Au-guuuste!” This was a very bad sign, as dropping the Prince meant that the stablemaster had slouched off for his luncheon. Or possibly that the stallion had eaten one of the hands. Either seemed likely.

It was time for the last line of defence.

“Do I have to?” Geraint hissed.

“You’re the one that said ‘please don’t!’” Auguste whispered back, furiously.

With a sigh, Geraint unfolded all of his considerable height and meandered up towards the voice.

“Oh,” he said woodenly. “I didn’t see you there, Vannes. I have been napping.” He was an awful actor. Whenever they were forced into participating in the solstice masques Geraint had always been relegated to the role of - tree, or giant, or, on one notable occasion, ‘stupid villager’.

“In the hay?” she said sweetly.

In their hiding place, Etien nodded, looking pleased. Etien had put the hay in his hair, for authenticity. “Yes,” Geraint said, after a pause.

“So Auguste is here,” she said, and then, raising her voice, “Auguste! You coward! Come out right now!”

“Why… Why would you think that?” Geraint asked, in a supreme act of improvisation.

She tch’d. “As if I don’t know that you all go for those ‘afternoon naps’ together, so you can all fondle each others balls or whatever it is—”

“Vanni!” Geraint said, shocked. Auguste’s face burned. Etien put a hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking.

“It’s true! AND I can hear Etien laughing, so get out of my way—”

“Vanni,” Geaint said in a warning tone. Was she trying to dart past him? Had he caught her?

“Hands OFF, you great lump—” and then an oof, like someone extremely large had been thumped in the stomach. “Don’t think I didn’t hear you tell him to!” she shrieked, and then Auguste knew the jig was up.

“You win,” he called morosely, and stood, offering a hand to Etien, who was still laughing. He emerged from the last stall, to see Vannes standing over Geraint, who was clutching his stomach and wheezing.

“What did you do to him?” he said in alarm.

“Payback,” she said coldly, dusting off her hands. “And now it’s your turn.” From her chatelaine, she unhooked a wicked looking pair of scissors. “I thought - what matters to Auguste as much as horsemanship matters to me?” She advanced on him. Snip snip went the scissors. “I’m taking the hair.”

His hand flew to the back of his head. He’d just got it long enough to tie back! And he’d been growing it for months now, and he’d had such a row with Father about it in the first place, who’d accused him of looking ‘shaggy’, ‘unkempt’, ‘like a cowherd.’

“Not a chance,” Auguste said, backing away. “And I did you a favour!”

She howled with rage. “I could have managed it!”

“It’s not a case of could, Vanni, it’s a case of would! As in - the stallion would have killed you!”

“Publicly humiliating me! In front of the Vaskian ambassador!”

“Vanni,” he pled. “Be reasonable!”

She stamped her foot. “Your Vanni privileges are revoked! It’s my-lady-of-Barbin to you!”

Geraint was out of action, and Etien was in hysterics. Both were currently useless. He considered every course of action available to him that didn’t involve knocking Vannes out cold, and made the sensible, princely decision - to run away.

The stables had a back door. He could burst through there and then scramble up one of the orchard trees before she caught up, and descend when her rage cooled off. A week, maximum. He could live on apples for a week.

“No thankyou!” he yelped, and fled.

She shouted after him but he raced between the stalls, and was out the door before she could catch up. He paused, panting. He just needed to slip between the barn wall and the kitchen garden and then -

A looming shadow blocked his path.

Yaren smiled, and tossed the apple she had been eating over her shoulder.

“My lady,” she said, drawing another pair of scissors from her pocket, “wants you to know that she was not - what’s the phrase? - ‘born yesterday.’”

[echointernationaljumpers]

WELCOME!

Lauren's POV

*Taps microphone* Is this thing on?

*Looks around the room, after adjusting the angle on the camera*

Oh hello! I'm Lauren! Lauren Gibson, and this boyo... *Toémme nips at my jacket* ...is Toémme! Vivian just bought him for the stable she is starting up, and I am going to be her menteé! How cool is that?

*Smiles big, then holds onto Tóemme's halter, as he is about to move away* Ooooh no big boy, you will stay here! *Laughs out loud, as he tries to dig into the treats in my pocket* Silly boy.

Anyways I am the one who started this blog, sometimes normal blog, sometimes vlog. We will see what I land on in time, but today is very Vlog-y *shrugs and shakes my head*

Anyways, I am 28 years old, and has been riding all my life. Never had my own horse though, and I still don't have that. But with a Mentor like Vivian, I have no need for my own horse right now. I am very contend with working with and for Vivian, that's for sure!

Tóemme is 5 years old and a Caballo de Polo Argentino, which is basically a continental type of Polo horse, but he has a talent for jumping, so no Polo for you, Tóemme *rubs his nose* No, you will be a brilliant show jumper instead!

From what Vivian has told me, she wan't Echo International Jumpers to be a stable with Show Jumpers in it. She is dreaming of big Warmbloods of different kinds, specifically trained for the art of Jumping, and with time hopefully also being able to offer the best of her stallions up as studs.

Right now we are located at a facility that Vivian has leased for a longer period of time, which is honestly quite clever, because if this doesn't work out, then she won't have bought something she will have to sell later *laughs again, shaking my head* but knowing Vivian she will succeed with this for sure!

*Looks into the camera again, after removing some hay from Tóemme's forlock* Anyways, that will be all for today. Tomorrow the hard work of making a Show Jumper out of Tóemme. Or well, he can in fact jump, but making us a winning team? We will have some hard work to do for sure, peewh!

Lauren over n' out!

[melanderinternational]

WELCOME TO MELANDER INTERNATIONAL!

Ludo's POV

*taps the mic* Anyone here?

*clears throat* Uhm, ok no? Well, fair enough. I'm Ludo Melander, the owner of this stable. This is not like any other blog you see out there. And how can I know that, you might wonder. Well, that's because I have Standardbreds for Harness Racing (and rarely anyone has them in TS3), and I wanna talk a lot about them and our everyday life.

We are located in Denmark, just outside Roskilde (Sjaelland), near the big Dyreskueplads, where we often show our horses - or at least will in the future! Come on by and visit, but call first, yeah? *laughs*

The horse I have in rope and halter (look at the picture below!) is Tell Em' All M aka. Void, my hopefully future champion Standardbred stallion. Right now he is 2 years old, and he has only just been broken in for the Harness Racing. I am looking forward to see what he can do, as he is fast and surefooted, and very self assured of his own talents. He is also a good boy, though often a little moody, if I am not the one handling him.

The girl beside me is not my girlfriend or anything like that *cringes*

That's my younger sister Fallulah Melander, who is helping me with the stable. You might even say that she co-owns it in some ways, even if I mostly likes saying that she works for me *smirks*

Her current racer is No Nonsense Woman M aka Nonny. She is a Grey Standardbred that Fallulah has had since she was an itty bitty baby horse, and she was born Seal Bay, which you can barely see under her now grey coat. The two of them has an amazing bond, even if the mare honestly likes most people.

The one beside my sister is the young Coach Driver Basil Diver, and his favorite Standardbred Assassin's Creed M aka. Credence, a young Standardbred stallion who has tried some competitive racing (in harness of course) despite his young age of 2 (almost 3 yo). The stallion is gluttones, and will eat anything in sight - even woods if you aren't quick enough to give him some hay *Basil laughs somewhere in the background*

Last one up is quite guy Roland Higgs. He doesn't say much, ain't a big talker I tell ya, and is in many ways like his favorite horse Boots Made for Walking aka. Bootsy - a young Standardbred mare. They are both big loners and likes the company of each other and not many other people. We affectionally call them "The Loners" *grins while Roland rolls his eyes*

So this is us and our horses. Will update another day, when they other pastures has been finished, and we are ready to show of the horses more. Right now the stable isn't fully decorated/furnished yet, but luckily the weather is good, so the horses can live outside for awhile.

Anyways, good luck to you guys, because you are in for one heck of a ride with me! Ludo over and out!

[taterstories]

The Horse Farm by Tater

(Part 2)

In the morning, I was woken by the sound of Jenna's voice and her delivering breakfast she said, "Walker wake up, eat breakfast, and get ready for the day." With the food she also put left some clothes they were not mine. I ate my breakfast then I looked at the clothes before putting them on. There was a pair of black english riding boots, and a pair of black breeches, a black thong and a red polo shirt. These clothes were not my style I was a cowboy. I saw Jenna walk by and I said to her, "Miss these are not my clothes not even my style." "Well, that is the uniform sir so you can wear it you work the whole day naked which will it be." She interrupted. So, I looked at the clothes and began to put them on. I felt awkward and when Jenna noticed I was ready she came and opened the stall and let me out and she took me out to the barn. She told me all the hands start with these stalls while I go feed and do meds on all the horses. We all cleaned the barn, and it was done in no time at all. Then Jenna came by with her cart with a little trailer and all the hands got on there were only 6 of us and no one would talk too much. All the guys looked like regular guys about my build fit and young and good looking and also the big guy they called the bull from the night before he was working out there with us as a hand. We went down to the where all the breeding studs were, and they had 200 studs on the farm, and they all had to get their seamen from so it could be used to for breeding mares on other farms. The farm had three Phantom stalls that they bring stallion's into and get basically jerk them off. Jenna told me my job was going to be point man and she had me get under this hose shaped phantom and next to it there was a cart full on the receiving bags. She handed me my first bag and as soon as she did, they brought in the first stallion and he knew exactly what to do he mounted the fake mare and when he did, I had to get the bag on his dick and hold it till he was done. It only took about a minute, and it was over, and the stud got off and they took him out. Jenna was there to supervise the whole thing after the stud left she took the bag and emptied it into a metal tube after she did she poured out some of the seamen into a shot glass then put the cap on the tube and put it away she told me to come out and all the hands were watching and she said, "That was your first time now you get to reap what you sew drink up every one has to do this after there first time." She handed me the shot glass and I just looked at it. This must be there way of hazing the new guy. I closed my eyes and took back the shot full of horse spunk. Everyone cheered and then got back to work. I climbed back into my position ready for the next. With the taste of horse spunk still on my breath we did this all day.

At the end of the day Jenna came and picked us all up and took us back to the bunk house. We hardly ever saw Emma around in the day. When we got back to the bunk house, we all got undressed and we stood in line and waited for Jenna to wash us off. Then we would walk to our stall and Jenna would come close all the doors and brought dinner. While we were eating Emma came into the bunk house and was walking around saying, "Who do I want to work with today?" As she walked by every stall looking in. Then Emma says to Jenna, "Prepare and bring me Jeff, his big show is coming up, then I want to work with Walker and get him ready for his open show." I was wondering what she meant by show, like do I perform in front of people or do they show us like horses. After dinner I heard a stall open, and I must have been jeffs and they walked away. A few moments later my stall door opened up and there was Jenna. She came in and put the halter on my head and all the rest of the harness and cuffs and slid in a butt plug in my butt. Then she led me off to the stairs we went up last night, but we went up three steps and she opened a door that was almost invisible in the dark hall. We walk in and it's a dimly lit room about 10ft by 10ft with a 4ft poll in the middle that had D-rings on it with D-rings all around it on the floor too. Jenna led me over to the poll and threaded the leather lead through the top D-ring and pull it tight, so I was bent over with my face next to the poll. Then she attached my wrist cuffs to the D-rings on the poll. I could not move the top half of my body but could side to side with my legs until she grabbed my left leg and pulled it and positioned it, so my foot was flat on the ground then I couldn't move it she had tied it to a D-ring on the floor and did the same to my right leg. I could not move at all the only thing I could do is bend my knees. I could not see Jenna, but I know she is still in the room. Then out of nowhere without warning she whips my ass with a crop hard. It stung and she continued to whip my ass with it. Then she mounted me like a horse and continued to whip me and poke her spurs into my hips. I was in a lot of pain. Then after what felt like an eternity of that she got off. I feel the butt plug pulled out of my ass then replaced with a much larger strap on that she was wearing. She then proceeded to fuck my ass for a long time till I had literally had cum dripping from my caged cock. Then pulled out and put the butt plug back in and left the room.

Jenna left me in that room for what felt like hours. She finally returned and took the gag out of my mouth and stuck a large baby bottle nipple in my mouth that was meant for baby livestock that needed to be bottle fed. The bottle was full of something. "Drink up my boy this is your treat after doing a good job for me today," she commanded. So, I started sucking and the taste was not that great but was familiar. She then told me, "That Is cum a mix from horses you jerked off today and Abraham Emma's Bull, and you need to drink all of it ok." I sucked it all down and she pulled the bottle away then walked out of the room again, returning quickly to start undoing my restraints. When I was free, she stood there with me holding the lead and asked, "So, we need to figure out what you are better at under saddle or harness and pulling." I was puzzled but could not respond to her because she had put back the gag in my mouth, but I don't think she was actually looking for one. Then she said, "Or maybe both we will see how things go let's start you under saddle first and see how you do." Then Jenna pulled a leather saddle from the wall and strapped it around my waist and then she jumped on my back. It happened so fast I was confused of what even happened. She even hooked some reins to the gag in my mouth. And was moving me around like a horse with a bit. She made me walk around the room then do a trot and a gallop. She got off of me and said, "Goodboy now we know how you are going to show this weekend." I what nerves and was unsure of what was going to happen to me this weekend. Jenna took the saddle off of me and then walked me out the door and up the stairs to Emma's room. We walk in the room and there is Emma riding jeff just like Jenna rode me. Abraham was standing to the side of the room watching. Jenna said to Emma, "Walker did great he is going to be under saddle for the show." "Thats great I am glad he is doing great," Emma said. "We are ready for the bull If he can do his job," Jenna stated. "Yes, you can that is what he is waiting for I already used him," Emma said. So, Jenna led me to a tie rail and called Abraham over. She wrapped the lead around the tie rail pulling me down. She went behind me and pulled out my butt plug. Abraham walked up behind me, and I felt his huge cock rub against my ass hole with a false thrust up my ass and my back. I felt him pull back and his cock once again against my ass hole and this time it slid in a lot easier that the last time, but he immediately started fucking my hard. "UHHHH, I started moaning and cum was already leaking from my dick cage. He fucked my ass for a long time my ass and my balls were in agony. He finally stopped with a big thrust, and I felt his cock swell and his cum explode in my ass. When he was done, he pulled out and walked away and Jenna patted my head like a good boy and put my butt plug back in, but it was loose after the severe fucking I just had taken. Then she walked me back to my stall and took everything off me except for the cock cage and closed the door. I laid down because I was exhausted, and I could feel all of Abraham's cum seeping out of my ass as I drifted off to sleep.

[roananddappleranch]

My two boys R&DR Counterfeit Bronze (liver chestnut) and R&DR Bring That Jazz (red roan) were so well behaved in the AQHA's stallion halter show today - at least at the beginning. I wasn't worried about CB at all, but I was surprised with how much BTJ didn't throw his head up and try to show off. Plenty of apples and sugar cubes for the well behaved boys... despite how they behaved after judging was done.

[brokenonyxestate]

LOADS OF NEW HORSES

Getting into a new breed also means that you would aquire more horses, so I have done that! A few new Oldenburgs to really begin the Oldenburg experience. I really am enjoying these new horses, and I am looking forward to them getting enough points to give good bonuses to future offsprings!

First one up is a special one. He is bay, but he has a somatic mutation so he has some big black spots primarily on the front of his body. Most noticable on his shoulders and neck, but he also have a huge black spot on his forehead.

His name is BOE Toulouse, and he is Hera's new main horse. A handsome young boy who loves running fast! Hopefully he will succeed as a show jumper, as he is completely new to the discipline and riding in general.

The last two are both greys. The mare with the blue halter is a fleabitten grey mare (bay based) named BOE Brillianta. She greyed quickly and is only 4 yo, not even broken in yet! She is gentle, yet slightly skittish around sudden sounds and movements. Definitely needs more training before she can enter shows in the future.

The grey stallion with the red halter is Nordic's Captain Nemo. So now I got two horses named "Captain", lol! I got him from Nina Wolf, and fell in love with him right away! He is such a kind boy who at 8 years old haven't been at many shows yet. But that will change with this week at Saturday, when he will enter his first Show Jumping and Dressage Show and also a conformation show!

And now with these new horses it brings my totalt of greys up to 11 greys in my herd!

[can-of-pringles]

Here is the Place Where I Love You

Rating: Teen and up audience

Warnings: Angst, hurt no comfort, death, death from old age, peaceful for the most part, animal death, grief/mourning, though mostly acceptance, I cried while writing it

Word Count: 1k

Summary:

After a complete grooming session, Arith placed the brush back in its place and made it back to Frost, remembering to gently stroke his face. “Are you ready for our walk?” After getting a content sigh in response, Arith picked up his lead rope, and they walked together into the big pasture.

Note: This takes place about 37 years after the fic Dappled Sunlight if my math is correct. I'm really sorry y'all. It felt really cathartic to write.

Also Read On AO3

The last rays of the sun shone on Arith as he finished up some outside chores near where he kept his horse, Frost. The day had been busy earlier, completing some quick jobs for work, briefly meeting Iriel afterward, and getting drinks together. Now he just was finishing up the rest before the sun set.

Normally, he would’ve used his powers to make the tasks go quicker, but today he dragged them out, doing them mostly in the typical human way. His grip was tight on the broom as he swept and his chest felt tight the more time passed.

Finally, he couldn’t keep pushing it off anymore. He’d finished all the chores, despite wishing they’d kept coming, just one more chore after the other. With a heavy sigh, he went inside, looking for the freshest apples he had currently, and placed one in his pocket.

Arith went back outside and his eyes landed on the stall and shelter combination he had on his property. Inside, he could briefly see Frost’s tail; swishing slowly. The demon could feel his heart beating quicker as he walked towards the small stable.

Frost’s ears perked up at the sound of his footsteps and he turned around to stick his head out, greeting Arith.

He had a tight-lipped smile on his face, petting and hugging Frost’s head. “Hey, boy… how do you feel about a walk in the pasture together tonight?”

Frost chuffed, and Arith grabbed his rope halter, gently placing it on him. He opened the stall door and led him out, letting the old stallion take his time. Before they started on their journey, Arith decided to brush him, knowing he’d appreciate the extra grooming.

Arith grabbed a soft bristle brush and slowly started brushing his coat in small circles. His eyes focused on the brush, though his thoughts felt distant. Frost’s once dappled grey coat had turned white many years ago. He remembered there was a time when Frost was still losing bits of his brown coat, as expected. Despite all the changes, his fur was as soft as ever.

Arith couldn’t help but think of all the time they’d spent together, horse and rider. He’d taken him on many trail rides, even going to the ocean on occasion to let the stallion splash in the waves. Frost had been with Arith for roughly forty-two years, quite long compared to other horses, but not completely unheard of. Arith had always made sure to feed him the best grain he could get and to keep him as healthy as he could. After he reached his twenties, Arith had decided to stop riding him, instead allowing him a nice retirement as a thanks for all that he’d done.

Frost sighed and lowered his head slightly, swishing his tail as he was brushed, enjoying how it felt on his fur. Arith let a real smile show, running his hand along his back; once strong, now naturally swayback from the passage of time.

After a complete grooming session, Arith placed the brush back in its place and made it back to Frost, remembering to gently stroke his face.

“Are you ready for our walk?”

After getting a content sigh in response, Arith picked up his lead rope, and they walked together into the big pasture.

By now, the sky had darkened significantly, and stars shined brightly. The only other light was a lantern in Arith’s other hand. They took their time, Frost occasionally biting at the grass for a quick snack while Arith looked up at the stars, wondering how this much time had already passed.

They walked all the way out to the end of the pasture, stopping once they reached a great big tree, its branches spreading far and wide as it had grown. Arith stared up at it before looking at Frost. Frost’s eyes, usually tired, now shone with a hint of youthfulness. content-ness maybe?

Arith wordlessly took off his halter, knowing he wouldn’t run away. He’d remembered the last time he’d done a full gallop, the memory of the stallion running and playing in the fields. Oh, how much had changed.

“This seems like a good spot… it’s nice out here, huh?” Arith murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

Frost nuzzled him, and Arith could feel his warm breath on his skin. He placed the lantern and halter down on a more flattened part of the grass before he decided to sit, looking up at the stars. Frost copied him and, with a groan, lay down in the field next to him.

For a while, Arith and his horse sat in the starlit fields, while Arith recounted stories during Frost’s youth. Mostly happy memories. Some, including Iriel and her own horse, Rose.

“I remember that one time you stole an apple out of my bag, such a naughty horse…” Arith chuckled warmly, ignoring the burn he felt in his throat as he continued talking. “I suppose now is a better time than any for another treat?”

He grabbed the apple out of his pocket and miracled it clean, nothing but the best for Frost. He held out the apple for the old stallion to take, and he eagerly accepted it, biting and chewing on it before licking his lips, satisfied by its sweet taste.

Arith laughed and scratched the horse’s neck. Frost leaned into it slightly before Arith stopped, now meticulously working on braiding his mane so it would look neat.

By now the sky was practically pitch black, and stars heavily littered the sky. Despite everything, Arith’s lantern was still thankfully lit, illuminating him and Frost in a soft glow.

Arith had an arm around Frost’s withers, lightly scratching. Arith closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of nature. Crickets chirping, the wind gently blowing, and Frost’s slow but calm breaths.

He opened his eyes when he felt Frost lay his head on his lap. Arith said nothing and wrapped his arms around his head, hugging him. He didn’t move the whole time, just holding his horse.

Frost was slowly lulling off to a peaceful sleep, and Arith knew what it would mean for the morning tomorrow, but for now, he held him, speaking sweet whispering words and humming to him.

“You can rest now, Frost. Thank you, my friend. For all that you have done for me. You’re a good boy. I hope you know that.” Arith whispered, laying his cheek on the horse’s face. He felt the horse’s soft eyelashes on his cheek. Arith’s tears spilled slowly down his face, dropping onto Frost’s.

Arith never let go, still petting and comforting him the whole time. He owed him that much, at least.

Frost’s breathing had slowed, but it was calm, relaxed even. The horse let himself gaze into the night sky, focusing on the stars above. His dark brown eyes shone; the stars reflected on them. He closed them; letting out a peaceful sigh. The slightly chill air felt soothing on his white coat and Arith’s comforting grasp on him allowed him to accept this long awaited rest.

The lantern’s flame had extinguished, only leaving the stars as light. Arith looked up and thought the sky looked like it had one more star in it than usual.

[ariadnew]

Speakeasy, on a Polaroid with a note, because I feel like Archie would be the kind of guy who keeps photos of all his horses and mementos from his career to look back on fondly on an idle afternoon, like the big, soft, starry-eyed and reminiscent teddy bear he is.

[all-the-horses]

Rusleem

El Saleem x Rullante

Arabian, Stallion

15.1hh

Born 1989

[horsesarecreatures]

It's kind of sad to see many of the Gazal al Shaqab descendants getting increasingly dysfunctional with each generation. While I personally would have used a different outcross stallion if I were in charge of the Polish state studs, Gazal Al Shaqab actually produced some nice offspring. Of Amba's maternal half siblings, my favorite is Aria Acclaim by Ekstern, but her half sister by Gazal Al Shaqab turned out decent as well. A bit bigger bodied that what Shahim Al Nakeeb produced. Marwan Al Shaqab is another stallion that just looking at his conformation I would turn away because he is very fine boned and a bit sickle hocked, but I can't fault him too much because a lot of his offspring are pretty athletic, especially in dressage. And certainly he is better than the abused diplodocus Magnum Psyche, who was his main competitor in the halter ring at the time. So while I wouldn't purposefully look for a horse with him in their pedigree, I also wouldn't turn one down just on that basis if they seemed nice in all other respects.

I just can't with Hariry Al Shaqab, though. The judges who are awarding him world championships need to stop. It's his extreme sickle hocks. The long, dippy back. The pointy butt. It's like they took every negative trait of his father and sought to exaggerate it rather than breed it out, and threw in some additional bad traits.

I'm not surprised, just disappointed. And I have a feeling that if a horse with the same confo but no Marwan in their pedigree entered the same ring, the judges wouldn't give it the time of day.

He also seemed lame at the Paris world show, stepping under with his left hind but rarely his right even at the walk.