#star trek love spew

[alexeiadrae]

Was watching Picard with my family tonight. My almost 9 year old, when she saw the Romulan, Laris, asked, “Is that an alien or an elf?”

Also, I am having big nostalgic feelings about this likely being the last time I’ll see the Next Gen crew together. I love and adore them so much and I want them all to live forever and it is sad seeing how old and frail Patrick Stewart is getting. It’s incredible that we even got them together again for Picard and special to get to watch it with our kids.

And I’m probably going to be crying like a baby by the end of it.

[sourrind]

Your Star Trek AU idea sounds great! I love the backgrounds you've assigned to everyone!

I have a few different ideas for a Star Trek AU myself (like this), but I would probably never get around to writing them.

I have been thinking about Ava and Shannon possibly being Trills / or with a symbiont too! Although in what I've been thinking about so far, Ava is just human who got a symbiont jammed into her in an emergency situation a la Adira Tal in ST:Disco. Shannon is definitely a Trill though.

I love the thought of Bea having a Vulcan connection. I always wanted Bea to be human in a Star Trek AU but she def has Vulcan-like traits. I kinda like the idea of her being a human raised by Vulcans, with her struggling to suppress her human emotions in a Vulcan society, like Michael from ST:Disco. (And now this is making me think of Lilith as possibly Romulan, with all the emotions she always expresses outwardly as opposed to Bea's Vulcan trait of suppressing her emotions.)

And can I please steal that USS Andalusia name? I have been trying to think of a name for their ship.

Having the OCS be a part of Section 31 is a great idea! And the DS9 influence with the whole Cardassian and Bajoran conflict is a great idea for a show with religious influences.

First off, I love that there are other people that wanna mash Warrior Nun and Star Trek together. Big mood.

I haven't seen STD, but I also was toying with whether Ava should've been a Trill or just a human that was there when Shannon died. It's nice to know that there's another case in canon I can look into for something like that.

And Bea is totally Vulcan-coded, whether she's part Vulcan or raised Vulcan. Not only is there that suppression of base human emotion vs her Vulcan upbringing, but I also was toying with the idea of Bea being a master of all trades kind of person as an attempt to make up for the fact that she was probably seen as a "lesser than" during her upbringing. This also leads to a surprising knowledge of religion and theology that her human side possessed, but she found lacking in her Vulcan family. (This would also lead to some interesting discussions with Vincent, who I thought could be a Bajoran counselor on the ship as well.)

Lilith as a Romulan? It basically writes itself.

And please, take as much as you want from all of this stuff I'm spewing! I'd be ecstatic to see any of this anywhere!

Aaaaannnnnnddd I am now just reading all the stuff you have written for your AU and-my gosh-I love it all! I didn't even consider the Borg when I was doing this, but Lilith getting partially assimilated and then rescued is so perfect (especially with it being because of her duty and saving Ava). And I love how you incorporated Diego, because what's Star Trek without some precocious scamp running around?

I also love that we both had no idea what to do with Camilla. Being the sweet, little cinnamon roll, maybe we just give her the O'Brien treatment and just put the screws to her every other chapter.

And my god, the interactions you described with the mirrorverse Avas and Beas, that is pure gold!

P.S. I definitely will watch VOY. I attempted to start it recently, but jut wasn't in the head space for it. Definitely will give it another go soon!

P.P.S. This was so fun to talk about. Feel free to just straight up message me whenever you wanna chat!

[mitchipedia]

A delightful essay for Trek fans, by @charliejaneanders:

7. Star Trek needs to get back to being about what it means to be human in a messed-up cosmos.

Gene Roddenberry brought a strong humanist ethos to Star Trek. During his lifetime, the series was always about humanity's capacity for self-improvement. And it's important to remember that Star Trek takes place in a universe that is completely ridiculous. There are space gods with terrible fashion sense everywhere you go, and giant planet-destroying super-carrots, and huge incomprehensible mysteries — and against all of the all of this are a group of tiny fragile humans, who muddle through using their wits and their intellect and an ability to spew endless bullshit. TOS, TNG, and took some extent other older Trek series, always include at least one non-human character, like Spock, who has an ambivalent relationship with humanity but appears unable to escape a certain fascination with our species. I can't think of a character in the newer Trek shows who occupies that Spock role, except for maybe Spock himself, in Strange New Worlds. (Maybe Saru a little bit, but not really.) I would love to see Trek return to asking whether humans really can do better, whether we're capable of dealing with a universe that is so huge and incomprehensible, and whether anybody would ever really want to be like us. After all, look around you — we are currently caught up in huge incomprehensible events, and at the mercy of near-omnipotent people with terrible fashion sense. Now is exactly the time when I need some speechifying about what it means to be human, and what humans can become if we work at it.

[sketchy-aura]

Fun Facts about CTS because im. bored

Sarah and Sketchka know each other exist. Sarah has a strong connection to the undead and so can see Sketchka fairly clearly, at least in mirrors and in dreams.

I gave Adam a little sister BECAUSE I CAN. Her name is Mary <3

Jonah acts very different when he's being influenced by Mark, he acts more nonchalant and he needs weed like 24/7 in order to function........Adam just becomes a drama queen when being influenced by Cesar LMAOOO

Mary is also an Alternate, but Adam shields her from that fact bc he doesnt want her to go through what he went through. He just says she's autistic like he is

Ruth dies in this AU, but she can talk through Sketchka and occasionally through Gabriel- though, Gabriel spews Ruth's words half the time

Jonah and Mark both loved comicon so much........Mark was a star trek nerd and Jonah just likes the stimulation and all the nice people. He drags Adam with him

[empress-violetlight]

For the Star Trek ask game: gosh! I haven’t gone through the list of essential episodes you gave to me yet (but I can’t wait to do so, it’ll be on my short list of to-do’s!) so I still know close to nothing about Star Trek! But I wish I could ask you something in regards to it lol 😆 So I’m going to randomly pick #5 for the ask game. 💙

Okay, I'll try to pick a few. Thanks for the ask!

Star Trek Ask Game

4. favorite character

From each show:

TOS/TAS: Uhura

TNG: Lt. Barkley

DS9: Odo

VOY: B'elanna Torres

ENT: Shran

(I haven't watched enough of DIS to make a decision)

LD: Tendi and T'ana

PRO: Rok-Tahk

SNW: Una

5. favorite species

Overall? The Horta. I love creative, non-humanoid aliens, and the silocon-based Horta are just so interesting, and yet this acid-spewing, living rock is so relatable as well. She's just a mother defending her babies. "Devil in the Dark" is my favourite TOS episode, and I so want to see the Horta again on screen!

As for the more "usual" humanoid aliens, I love the Andorians! They might have technically come first, showing up in TOS, but they weren't really characterized until Enterprise, and they're basically Trek Chiss. Both are blue, come from icy worlds, and have a strong warrior culture, while being more calculating and intelligent than most "strong warrior races" like Klingons. Shran is awesome! (I named a very prominent Chiss OC of mine after him), and we *should* learn a lot more than we have about them and the Tellarites. They're founding members of the Federation as well, just like humans and Vulcans, and they deserve more time in the spotlight.

25. favorite captain-first officer dynamic

Janeway and Chakotay's. I've been shipping them since the 90s. What can I say?

30. favorite plot of the week episode

TNG's "Disaster". I loved how so many characters were thrown outside their comfort zones, yet still came out on top in this episode. Picard's dynamic with the kids, reassuring them as he got them to climb up the turbolift shaft was touching, and Troi managing to take command of the Enterprise was a turning point for her character. I usually don't like O'Brian that much, but I loved how he stood up for Troi against Ensign Ro (imagine an ensign thinking she can tell a Lt. Commander what to do! The nerve!) I liked the ongoing arc in the last two seasons of TNG with Troi beginning to see herself as more than just the councilor, her wearing a real uniform and taking the Commander's test, just becoming more confident with herself and her career in Starfleet, and it really started with this episode.

33. favorite pilot episode

Strange New World's pilot, simply called "Strange New Worlds". I loved how it looked at just how Starfleet would respond when it turns out a pre-warp species got ahold of technology they "shouldn't" have, and it's Starfleet's fault. I think the way Captain Pike handled the situation was pure genius, and it really got me hooked on the series, even if the premise of the show itself ("The Cage" made into an actual series), and favourites from TOS returning wasn't tempting enough! The rest of the 1st season was incredible too, and I can't wait until the next!

[alexsbrain]

Unpopular Opinion: Star Trek is at a Crossroads

*Spoilers: Please do not read unless you have seen all episodes of season 3 of Picard*

With the culmination of the final season of Star Trek: Picard due to land next week, it seems that Star Trek and the fandom are at a critical juncture. A quixotic crossroads. Since the relaunch of the franchise on the small screen in 2017 with Discovery, the fandom has become more fractured. This rift is not a simple one which can be explained along lines of age, gender, race, geography, politics, or sexual identity. The newer shows have been dragging the franchise forwards in many ways. With the nostalgic callbacks in season three of Picard packaged in more modern aesthetic and narrative tropes, many fans seem torn between this schism. What the Borg queen might call “those who live like shattered glass.” Through reactions and events surrounding Picard’s third season, I hope to delineate this schism. The essence of Star Trek is currently being debated among fans. Can the franchise heal this rift, and should it?

There are four eras of Star Trek. The original series and subsequent films (1966-1991), the Berman era (1987-2005), the Kelvin timeline (2009-2016) and NuTrek (2017-present), which arguably begins with Discovery. Usually, everything pre-Disco is lumped into Legacy Trek, but the rift between Original Series and Next Gen fans in the late 80s or the vitriolic hate spewed at DS9 in the 90s offers a case study into the various rifts that exist within the fandom.

Star Trek fans are not a monolithic group. Unlike ethnocultural groups, Trekkies have much in common with the Queer community. Only bound through their shared love of something, their identity as a Star Trek fan, as opposed to a shared location, language, or lineage. What unites the fandom is their love of Star Trek. Although many fans might share similar reasons for their love of Trek, everyone’s journey into it and their love of it is unique. 

Unlike other franchises, Star Trek has a set of ideals, or guiding principles, that can be used as a moral code in interacting in the real world. However, not all fans adopt these moral codes or philosophies of peace, dignity, equality, respect, understanding, and collectivism. Some fans seem oblivious to the very message the franchise has been exposing for over fifty years.

Many fans, both long term and new, were looking forward to season one of Picard back in 2020. It would be an understatement to say the show has been divisive during its run, with many fans settling into various camps of the validity of the show either as a whole or through a seasonal rankings system. The absence of Patrick Stewart’s co-stars from TNG, save for Spiner, Frakes, and Sirtis's small contributions, was seen as a wasted opportunity. “We want reunions and cameos,” quipped the fandom, and so for the third season many fans got what they wanted. A re-uniting of the magnificent seven, the crew of the Enterprise D. Older, wiser, and ready for one last mission before they ride off into the proverbial sunset.

When Enterprise went off the air in the spring of 2005 the television landscape was vastly different. Not only was broadcast/cable TV still the predominant delivery of the format, but shows were still mostly episodic in nature and American series still produced over twenty episodes a season. The big-screen relaunch in 2009 with Star Trek seemed to jettison much from Legacy Trek and this is where the rift between the fandom starts to widen further. 

To not update Star Trek to modern storytelling conventions would have been absurd.

During Star Trek’s small screen fallow period not only were there formatting upheavals in television, shorter seasons, serialization, mystery boxes, and the habit of killing off beloved characters but the delivery system of television changed. Broadcast/Cable TV was being usurped by streaming services and the funding model of TV drastically changed. Within this time span of twelve years, the essence of the medium changed, so that when Discovery launched in 2017 the show not only radically altered the Star Trek format familiar to most fans, but it started driving another wedge within the fandom. To not update Star Trek to modern storytelling conventions would have been absurd. Star Trek is set in the future and has always been pushing the boundaries of narrative storytelling. 

Not only did the format of Discovery upset swaths of the fandom but the inclusivity of the show and darker tone, reminiscent of DS9, continues to ruffle feathers. Picard and Strange New Worlds were thought of as a bridge between this rift within the fandom, yet early in season one of Picard it became clear that the trappings of Legacy Trek were dead. What many loved, Berman-era storytelling was never coming back. Strange New Worlds blends episodic and serialized storytelling but has been described by one podcaster as the “Vegas” version of the planet-of-week model. Devoid of the hard-hitting humanist stories science fiction is known for.

It would be too simplistic to define this rift as generational, or Legacy versus NuTrek, and not fully capture the nuances of the divide. There are several good-faith critiques of the newer shows by fans. Many feel the newer iterations of Trek are too dystopian as they lack the optimistic utopianism present in Legacy Trek. Some argue the high-minded science fiction stories are missing, serialized storytelling is not working for the franchise, and some simply think the new shows are visually too dark. With the relaunch of the Enterprise D, many fans shouted praise as they could finally see the interior of a starship again. The inclusion of the Borg this season seemed like a no-brainer, considering they were the baddest of the bad on TNG, and tie into Picard’s trauma and identity, his last hurdle, but some fans rolled their eyes with aplomb at their return decrying, “not again.”

The dialing down of Seven’s and Rafi’s relationship seems to be the heteronormalizing of season three. It might just be that a breakup or strained relationship was better for dramatic purposes, but it seems like we’ve really returned to 90s Trek when Queer stories and identities were heavily bubble wrapped in metaphor. Yet if, as one Tweeter commented, the Borg stand partially as a metaphor for the Queer/Trans journey/identity through Seven of Nine, then the mass assimilation of the youth by the Borg is rather a tragic and regrettable statement on how Gen Z is perceived further dividing the fandom. Gene Roddenberry’s vision was one of unity and if Star Trek cannot seem to unify the fandom in some fashion, then perhaps it’s failing. Or perhaps us fans are failing it somehow.

Others say the franchise was already in tip-top shape before season three of Picard which points towards Discovery’s torch-baring, its popularity and revamping of the franchise.

While season three of Picard is seen as a return to form for the franchise by many, there are fans who think the season is mediocre at best, riddled with cliché, that when you strip away the nostalgia and critically analyze the show it appears full of holes. Others say the franchise was already in tip-top shape before season three of Picard which point towards Discovery’s torch-baring, its popularity and revamping of the franchise. Disco gave birth to five new series after all. This points to an identity crisis of the franchise that plays out within the fandom. What is Star Trek actually? And where the heck is it going?

Again, there is no monolithic answer. Some fans love the totality of the franchise, others are here because they love space and science, for others it’s optimism, some the philosophy and moral tales, others the exploration of humanity, the diversity both on screen and through IDIC, and some simply for the starships and space battles. For instance, the lack of a weekly Federation saucer-type starship in seasons one and two of Picard was remedied for season three and we got the Titan-A, but again, some fans are sick of staring at its dimly lit bulkheads.

A small quadrant of the fandom will never seem to be satisfied with the franchise at present. These keyboard warriors range from the anti-progressive, subtle plot hole decriers (if one thing is off it throws me out of the narrative types), toxic misogynists, and retcon/canon inconsistency haters. There is probably nothing the franchise can do to appease this small yet vocal segment of the fans. For the anti-progressives the answer is simple, turn back the clock. In a small manner the third season of Picard has managed to do that. Not only has the old TNG gang reunited on the D but the two Queer characters have been heteronormalized for most if not all, of the season and the youth have been co-opted by an interconnective hivemind hell-bent on eliminating the unassimilated. Yikes.

What outsiders might not understand about the fandom is its unrelenting discourse on the thing they love. Respectful heated arguments are par for the course, yet since the relaunch in 2017, the occurrence of a more toxic discourse has intensified. This coincides with the assholing of humanity through social media. 

Some fans announced Star Trek is “back” much to the chagrin of fans who said the same thing in 2017.

What should have been the bridge between this rift in the fandom, season three of Picard, has simply increased the schism. Some fans announced Star Trek is “back” much to the chagrin of fans who said the same thing in 2017. Additionally, Discovery fans are often positioned in a defensive stance when talking about the show on social media. Coincidentally, many of these fans are BIPOC and/or Queer. Discovery represents to them the olive branch of inclusivity that was merely nascent, or missing, in Legacy Trek. The quiet announcement of the show’s cancellation seemed like a slap on the face. However, in the current streaming world five seasons of a show point towards its success rather than its failure.

Of course, days later a new series was announced in the Disco 32nd-century timeline, Star Fleet Academy. In gestation in one form or another since the 80s a Star Fleet Academy show is long overdue. The initial reaction to the announcement and its setting, Disco’s timeline, was divisive amongst the fans. Some fans are not content with the branching out of live-action instalments, trying to appeal to different fans identities, they seem to want all the series to speak to them, often in a white cis-gendered heteronormative voice. 

Ever since Gene Roddenberry decided to create a new show in the 80s without the original series cast members Star Trek bifurcated. Each new installment has further split the fandom. Time has created a strained community that is both inclusive and exclusive, content and discontent, grateful and unappreciative, progressive and conservative. By definition, Star Trek is now contradictory. The fandom is mostly an enjoyable experience, but fans still have to block and mute each other, defend their show and their identities, nay their mere existence to others, and many face harassment.

If Star Trek is many things to many people how does a franchise appease the vast majority of the fans? With Strange New Worlds' future uncertain after season three, its lack of abundant representation for marginalized groups within series regulars, and the eventual launch of Star Fleet Academy in the 32nd-century there will be a chance for the franchise to create a new live-action series in the next couple of years. One targeted at the adult audiences of Discovery, Picard, and SNW. The answer to these questions might lie in Matalas’s pitch for a Star Trek Legacy show. A chance to bring back characters/actors/storylines from Legacy shows and mix them with newer characters and possibly dare I say, new enemies and antagonists. However, the progressivism of Discovery and its inclusivity has delighted a large swath of the fandom, they finally felt seen and heard and not bringing that forward to an adult-targeted live-action Star Trek outing could spell the death of the franchise by abandoning the very ideals of Roddenberry-ism.

Everyone who blubbered like a baby at seeing the Enterprise D again and said “There’s no crying in Star Trek” needs to take a long overdue look at themselves in the mirror.

How can a show set in the future not be progressive? This is one of the key issues facing the fandom. In a perfect world, a Legacy show would combine the best of NuTrek with the best of Legacy Trek. The show would resemble all peoples of the world, have kick-ass starships, and have fabulous storytelling with old and new friends. With one episode left to go, Picard has been both a huge success and something of a step backwards. Everyone who blubbered like a baby at seeing the Enterprise D again and said “There’s no crying in Star Trek” needs to take a long overdue look at themselves in the mirror. Star Trek provides hope to many, hope that we as a species are going to survive, prosper, and learn to celebrate our differences. When the fandom cannot even celebrate differences within the fandom there is a serious problem. To quote Cassius, “The fault…is not in our stars, but in ourselves.”

[seriouslycromulent]

So I'm finally catching up on ...

... the 2nd half of the latest season of Leverage: Redemption. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm late to the party. I binged the 1st half last year, but never got back to watch the 2nd half before life got hectic.

But can I just say, this 2nd half is damn ... near ... perfection so far. Granted, I've only watched up to episode 13 so far, but ... yeah. I am loving all of it.

From The Bucket Job to The Hurricane Job, you have so many fandom Easter Eggs, callouts, and great guest stars that I really am in geek heaven. So far, I've caught:

Levar Burton (aka Mr. Reading Rainbow) playing a librarian who loves recommending books to people

A reference to ST: TNG made by Parker, to which Levar responds with "What's TNG?"

The incomparable Joanna Cassidy playing a master grifter. If you don't know who she is, look her up on IMDB. Her resume is stellar (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Blade Runner, Six Feet Under, Star Trek: Enterprise).

James Marsters playing a bad guy and making me root for his comeuppance. It was nice to see him and Christian share the screen together again.

Noah Wyle donning a white doctor's coat at a hospital and spewing medical jargon like it was 1998 all over again.

Then later in the episode, when Sophie asks Harry (Mr. Wyle) where did he learn all that medical jargon, he answers, "TV".

Yes, I'm a simple geek who loves when the writers of a fun show remind us of how much fan service makes us squee. Anyway, I just wanted to pause and share my glee before diving back in to finish the rest of the season.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled fandoms.

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Hi!! I know you love Monster, but what are your other favourite mangas/pieces of media?

Oho, the elusive interests question! I have a hard time quantifying an exact order, so I'm just going to spew a ton of things haha

Manga/Anime

Huge fan of Urasawa's other work, for one. I haven't read all of them yet, but I can safely say 20th Century Boys is my favorite of his, (and has the best story and narrative pacing imo) and Master Keaton is a comfort anime/manga ☺️

Tiger & Bunny! I'll admit series 2 would take it down a few notches but series 1 as a standalone was just so good. Excellent character writing and a great time for dilf enjoyers. Series 2 still had great character writing, it was just really, really hard to follow the first act tbh.

Carole and Tuesday has a weirdly similar energy to T&B to me for some reason. Gives me the same type of joy. It's about struggling through the music industry and the culture of that and its BEYOND incredible.

I'm going to put Mushi-Shi and Moribito on the same talking point here because they have similar energies and similarly laid back protagonists in a fantastical world. Mushhi-Shi is, in my opinion, THE perfect anime. It's not my all time favourite, but it's the most well put-together for my tastes and great to soak up the atmosphere to. Moribito on the other hand is a beautiful story of found family, the dangers of imperialism eroding native cultures, and some coming of age. With a very good female protagonist might I add!

Currently I'm hopelessly obsessed with Kaiji. I dunno something about the battle of lowly peons against the capitalist hell machine is scratching an itch lol. It has tense and deeply flawed and honest human moments to rival Monster though, seriously.

Eureka Seven is another oldie I love, kinda a coming of age romance with mecha dressing that's steeped in music and counterculture. Naturally the OST is god tier and I have yet to find one that will ever match it.

I love the Ajin: Demi-Human manga. Wasn't as big a fan of the anime, but the art and characterization in the manga is really really strong.

Slowly, Blue Period is creeping into my favs. I just relate to its narrative about artists wanting to communicate and the struggle of non-linear skill progression, falling in and out of love with art, and there is a very interesting cast of fun characters.

There are others that are really good, but just don't speak so directly to me (or aren't on my mind right now LOL). Honourable mention to Mob Psycho 100 which is another near-perfect anime it just doesn't have the same level of resonance to me as these others on my list. Same for Legend of the Galactic heroes - really good media, but not QUITE speaking to me like these others.

I'll also put Mononoke (not Princess, just plain Mononoke) here too because my god is that ever an experience.

Non-Manga/Anime

So the biggest and oldest is Star Trek. I've been a Trekkie WAY longer than I was ever into anime. Spock, Data and Seven of Nine are my people. It was notably only 2020 when ifinalky watched Deep Space Nine and my FUCK is it ever the best of the bunch! Unparalleled character arcs my dude. It also manages to be the queerest and straightest Star Trek series at the same time.

Spiderverse! This movie was so absolutely bomb. I need to eat it again.

Entergalactic was similarly fucking GORGEOUS but followed a fairly standard, sweet romance. The characters were good and the music was REALLY good but it's the animation, man. That shit is such eye candy and will stick with me for a while I think.

Midnight Mass was very enjoyable. Excellent cast, excellent dialogue, my fav died first but that's just how it is for me

I honestly adored First Kill and am sad it got cancelled. It wasn't great media exactly but it was so fun and messy and I dig that lol. Calliope and her mom owned the whole show

The Boys is absolutely off the walls insane and even if the story weren't that great (it is, especially in later seasons) just the amount of bullshit that happens in it makes it a fun watch. EXTREMELY graphic and nsfw though. Like extremely, unapologetically, and unappealingly. In the Roberto way. You understand.

I've fallen out of love with it a bit, but Stranger Things season 1 will never not be incredible TV to me. Kind of in a similar way to Mob psycho. Eleven is my little child.

I used to be very into LOST and want to rewatch it at some point honestly, kid me was blown tf away and it introduced me to some very cool concepts of storytelling even if it went way off track lmfao

That's......all I can think of off the top? I like a lot of media! Again though its hard for me to quantify favs, just what speaks to me at a given time.

[probablybraindead]

really loving rewatching all my fave childhood shows atm. brings back memories of going into school age 3 sitting down with my teacher and discussing what had happened on the latest episode of star trek id watched, because no one in my actual class watched it or would understand the random scifi words that i myself barely understood. this happened so often, it ended up on my actual report card in the notes section. nothing has changed, except i force my friends to listen to my ramblings or spew them out on here instead of teachers.

[el-im]

Nepenthe (2020) dir. Douglas Aarniokoski

- I’m not as brave as I used to be, Jean-Luc.  - Then you’re getting wiser. 

[nemeseos-noctua]

Here's the other: How'd they react to their S/O who cherishes their gift given by their beloved so much, that one day the gift was destroyed by a hilichurl and they went so livid they practically fought the creatures to death and threw them to a lake somewhere, and sulked the whole how they don't deserve them anymore cuz of how careless they were. For Razor, Albedo and Xiao 👉👈

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: razor, albedo, xiao (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: not proofread, mc is referenced as an alchemist/adventurer in albedo’s, one swear word in xiao’s

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: im EMBARRASSED at how long this is and how MEANINGLESS THE WRITING IS IM SO SORRY 

he made you a paw-shaped clay sculpture!

it was cute and small, fitting right into the palm of your hands

to others—it may look like some worn-down toy, but to you, it was a good luck charm from the ever-cute razor

but perhaps, it wasn’t quite the clay-shape that you held close to your heart... no, it was the strenuous effort razor put into sculpting the paw

you remember it vividly. how the boy would dig his hands into mud and sit under the burning sun, carving the dirt with his bare fingers as he hid the gift from your sight

so when a good-for-nothing hilichurl decides razor’s paw-shape charm was a nice pebble for hot potato... boy were you livid

Patting the ground beside you, [e/c] eyes widened upon the feeling of nothing but grass.

What...? Peering over, you stared blankly at the empty space, comical arrows pointing at the now-gone charm you had received from Razor. Just where was it? You swore it was right beside you...

And as if Barbatos were laughing at you, the wind blew, burning your eyes as the sight of mitachurls and hilichurls danced around the fire in the distance, tossing what looked like a rock into the air.

Ah. 

You blinked.

That was the charm Razor made.

first of all... how did the hilichurl get it? the charm was literally right beside you!

agh, whatever.

you’ll just retrieve it. easy, right?

no.

first of all, your power would literally turn the lush grass into a desolate canyon (not really). second of all, you’d probably end up destroying the paw in your rampage

hah...

—if the hilichurl didn’t destroy it first

Materializing your weapon, you couldn’t help but hope that the paw had miraculously survived the impact of a hilichurl throwing it against the floor.

Hah, what were you thinking? Of course it didn’t... physics just didn’t allow it.

But you know what physics did allow? Why, beating these enemies to a pulp, of course!

once you floored the hilichurls, you quickly scrambled as to look for signs of the paw anywhere

berating yourself as to how utterly foolish you were for letting it go and leaving it unguarded in the first place, you stared in defeat at the sight of crumbled clay and hardened dirt in the grass of the hilichurl camp

why? why were you so careless? seriously, how did this happen? if you had just kept it in your backpack like a regular person, razor’s hard-earned hours and craft would still be as grand as ever-

“[y/n]?”

Blinking, you hadn’t realized you had been sulking in the midst of this hilichurl camp. [E/C] eyes lifted up, widening once they had landed on none other than Razor, his crimson eyes like the agates that littered Dragonspine, his hair as grey as stormclouds.

“Ah... Razor...” You smiled in exasperation, staring at anywhere but said boy. How could you face him after watching his clay paw get destroyed by some measly hilichurls?

“Are you okay?” He asked, glancing around at the scene before him. The grass wilted, the camp that he remembered being obnoxiously loud and disturbing was silent and empty.

“Yeah, no biggie,” Waving off his concern, you began to walk away, your heart sinking with each step.

First, you let his gift get destroyed. Second, you walk away from him.

You were such a terrible partn—

“[Y/N]?” Razor’s voice cut through the air, a tension you had created solely on the thoughts of your own mind. Gripping your wrist with a tender touch, you didn’t fail to notice the way his eyes drooped down ever so slightly.

“Did I... make lupical mad?”

Gulping, you quickly waved your hands in front of your face, eyes widened as you tried to carefully explain the series of events that had just led down to this very moment.

“I—well, you see, your uh, paw-clay-thingy... I was careless and I—“

“Break it while hunting?” Razor answered, tilting his head as his hold merely stayed still, not wavering for a second, as if you were a boar in his hands.

“Ah...” 

Razor was much better at observation than you had thought.

“It’s okay. I make more for lupical,” Razor nodded, already beginning to pace over to a pond as he dipped his gloved hands into the water, wafting around for dirt as you rushed up behind him.

“Wait! But I was careless... you don’t need to make ano—“

“It’s for lupical. Lupical close, I give lupical gift that never break.”

Everlasting—that was what he wanted to make.

And a part of you couldn’t help but agree.

albedo, in all of his alchemy prowess, made you an artificial flower

how? don’t ask him. he’ll spew some lengthy thesis and paragraph about the fundamentals, the research, the prototype, the testing, the—

ahem, anyways!

you had never intended to bring it outside. but one day, you had left your camp under the supervision of barbatos (wow go barbatos) and ventured off to fetch some materials

and when you came back? you were met with the sight of hilichurls and slimes raving around your tent

what the—

“I...I’m hallucinating,” You deadpanned, slapping your wrist at the sight of pyro slimes and masked hilichurls dancing around your tent, the inside of your humble abode moving around as if it were possessed.

And the cherry on top? A pyro abyss mage emerged, the flower floating besides it. But oh boy, it was no flower anymore... it was a flaming flower.

At that moment, you were left to ponder. Maybe, just maybe, you kinned a whopperflower at that point. Because oh boy did your temper and sanity explode on those little enemies, the way your blade sunk into their forms—

you were already planning your apology to albedo. he trusted you and loved you enough to make an artificial flower for you... and yet, it so pitifully crumbled at your touch

okay, not quite your touch. but it crumbled at the ugly pyro abyss mage’s touch

so, as any good s/o would do, you sulked while rebuilding your camp. it’s okay. as long as albedo didn’t know his creation was charred, all would be well. besides! he was quite a busy man! chances were low that he’d discover!

busy, he was, observant, he is

perhaps, you should’ve known

“Ah... hi Albedo,” You winced, opening your tent to smile at the alchemist who merely stared at you.

“You were gone for a while. Is everything okay?” He noted, remembering your absence from visiting his own camp at Dragonspine. As an alchemist, he knew what it was like being holed up in a camp. But for two weeks? Even he needed breaks.

“Well, you see... I was out... gathering materials! Yes!” You gave him a weak thumbs-up, wailing internally once his piercing azure eyes trailed around your camp, noting that nothing looked new. 

 “You don’t need to lie to me, [Y/N]. Is something the matter?”

“I’m sorry!” You cut off, clapping your hands together in a prayer-like position, guilt welling up in the pit of your stomach.

“...Why?”

“Your flower—I left it unsupervised and it was set aflame and I’m so so so sor—“

“Don’t be.”

Mouth dropping, you stared up at the male, an amused expression painting his face like the canvases he dedicated to you.

“At least you were not hurt while it was set aflame. Come, I’ll show you how to make some more,” Opening your tent for you all the way, Albedo held a hand out to you, eyes flickering in mirth.

“And next time, don’t try to run away from your problems.”

“You cheeky littl—“ A blush of both embarrassment and fluster formed on your face, shocked at his sudden remark.

he made you an adepti amulet

enhanced with super-cool-adepti-no-mortal-can-have power, xiao had informed you that all you needed to do was hold up the amulet and it’d scare any kind of enemies away!

cool, right? too bad you left it unattended while fighting the irritable anemo cube! now it’s at the bottom of the sea <3

how did this happen, exactly? well... you see... when wind picks up and becomes strong... light-weight objects will fly up into the air!

and sometimes, those light weight objects will fall into the sea, and sometimes, those objects would be gifts from your adeptus boyfriend who was waiting for you back at wangshu inn—

ahem. anyways. you beat the crap out of the anemo cube (aka, beth. aka, tornado cube. aka, cube waifu)

I should just... not go back to Wangshu Inn today. Haha... I’ll go ask Katheryne for a commission... You nodded, stuffing the turquoise shards of wind into your pockets, your bags filled with mora and enhancement ores being thrown off the side of the cliff.

—Along with the adepti amulet Xiao had made for you.

Seriously... you still had to wonder just how that happened! One second, you were avoiding getting sucked up by the vent of the anemo cube... and the next, your bag was traveling the world!

Can’t have shit in Teyva—

Trekking back to Mondstadt in defeat, you were innocently oblivious to the worry of the Yaksha back in Liyue.

are they okay? do they need help? did they go to dragonspine? all these questions spun around xiao’s head as he watched the moon rise, his mask dissipating into the wind

you told him you’d return tonight... yet you hadn’t. and a part of him had wished you hadn’t left liyue, so he had at least some control over whatever dangers dared to attack you

but, he knew you were strong. why else would he love you, anyway? he does not find appeal in being the savior 24/7

so, he waits. atop the balcony of wangshu inn, across the stars and moon, he prays to his archon, wishing—no, hoping you arrive safely

And—you did. You arrived back at Wangshu Inn.

... Three weeks later.

“You’re late. Very late,” Xiao’s voice blared in your ears, a blessing and a curse all at the same time. You didn’t know how to tell him the amulet was thrown off a cliff—but at the same time, you really wanted to run your fingers through his hair.

“Haha... sorry about that,” You laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of your head as Xiao merely grumbled, appearing before you with a piercing stare.

“Where were you? You did not even send me a letter.”

“I’m sorry... it’s just... eh... well...” You looked away, your heart churning against your ribs as Xiao extended his index finger out, tilting your chin to face him.

“What?” He asked, his tone harsh yet soft, longing yet logical.

“I uh... kind of... lost your adepti amulet... I’m sorry.”

He blinked.

“You waited three weeks to tell me that?” He asked in disbelief, almost in disappointment. Seriously, he was an adeptus! A Yaksha, at that! He could’ve just made another one for you... But nooo... you decided to wait three weeks in the land of the free (America?) and then worry him to death.

“Mortals...” Xiao muttered under his breath, crossing his arms with a huff as he turned his head away, the wind picking up.

“Hey, wait! Aren’t you going to say anything? Like a disappointed lecture or something?”

“No.”

Disappearing, you facepalmed, already pulling out some sweetflowers and milk to whip up some almond tofu.

Damn that adeptus. Who was he to tug your heartstrings like that?

You sighed, sitting beside a cooking pot as lingering yellow eyes watched your form, their irises softening at the sight.

— constellations! 💫

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

tropes and teasing

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Analogical Warnings: Language, mention of smut (in the context of a character writing fic, not actual smut. fic-ception i guess lol) Word count: 1624

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

analogical week 2022 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: Logan did not intend for anyone to ever find this secret out. Oops.

Notes: Day 4 of @analogicalweek 2022! This is for the prompt “AU.” Takes place early in the first year of analogical’s marriage. also i don’t know anything about star trek so i apologize for inaccuracies lol

-

“God, I used to read so much Star Trek fanfiction as a teen,” Virgil said reminiscently, tipping his head back against the couch and reaching for another handful of popcorn.

“Really?” Logan said from his seat beside his husband on the couch, curious. “I wouldn’t have imagined you’d have been particularly into the show.”

“Oh, I mean, it was never my top fandom, but it was always kind of there, you know?” Virgil shrugged. “My mom really liked it, so she introduced it to me. I guess it was kind of a comfort fandom when I got older. Nostalgic, or whatever.”

“Ah,” Logan said. “I see. I discovered it in middle school.” He tilted his head to the side. “Oh, I think it must have been a special interest for a few years there.” He’d never made the connection before; it had been close to a year since he’d found out he was autistic, and little things about his life kept clicking into place every so often in light of this information. Star Trek evidently being a case in point.

“That does not surprise me even a little bit,” Virgil informed him fondly. “Nerd.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Shut up,” he said, smiling.

“Make me,” Virgil teased.

Logan picked up a handful of popcorn and shoved it into his husband’s mouth, which sent them both into giggles, Virgil covering his mouth with his hand to avoid spewing popcorn all over the living room.

“Okay, I guess I should have seen that coming,” Virgil commented after a moment, swallowing the popcorn at last.

“Probably,” Logan agreed. “I like that you describe the show as comforting. That’s how I feel about it now, too.” His interest hadn’t been as strong in a few years, but it was still there, just softened down to a warm glowing core deep inside him.

“Yeah. I’d always search up the Spirk tag on AO3 when I was feeling down.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Which, y’know, teen angst me did kind of a lot.”

Logan frowned, putting a hand on his husband’s arm.

“I’m okay, L.” Virgil took the hand and raised it to his lips. “Don’t worry.”

“I don’t like it when you are unhappy,” Logan said, still frowning.

“I know, babe.” Virgil cast him a comforting look. “I’m plenty happy now, okay? This is a great way to spend the evening. I’m good.”

“Okay,” Logan acquiesced after a moment, doing his best to wipe the frown off his face. “What kinds of fanfiction did you like to read?”

“About Star Trek?” Virgil asked. When Logan confirmed with a nod, his husband went on, “Well, I said Spirk already. Mostly that. Or else platonic stuff.” He grabbed the remote and paused the TV. “Sometimes I’d branch out into Daforge, if I wanted to spice things up with the Next Generation stuff, or a couple other things depending on what I was feeling. I went for lots of whump and hurt, with or without comfort. It was, like, cathartic, or whatever. But there was this one author I liked who did, like, more long-form, plot-heavy stuff. Which is the kind of stuff I usually would avoid, but I got into their stuff anyway because I read a oneshot they did once that was fantastic—Spock had to kill Kirk for some reason, I fucking cried, I loved it—and it got me to take a chance on their other stuff, and it was really good. Like, published novel levels of good. They were one of my favorites, even though most of their stuff wasn’t the kind of fic I usually read.”

“Fascinating,” Logan commented. “You’ll have to show me.”

“First of all, the fact you assume I still have all my old cringey fanfic accounts? Ouch.” Virgil seemed amused. “But accurate. Second, the assumption that I still remember enough details years later to find that fic?” He paused. “I mean, okay, again probably accurate. But come on. Leave me some shred of dignity, L.”

“I was not mocking you,” Logan protested.

“Oh, I know, babe. But it’s still funny.” Virgil took another handful of popcorn and munched it, considering. “Actually, I bet you would like their stuff,” he said thoughtfully. “It seems exactly up your alley, now that I think about it. There was this one really awesome long-ass multichapter piece they had, it was a college AU but it also had, like, a murder mystery going on that Kirk and Spock teamed up to solve, and there was this whole rivals-to-begrudging-allies-to-friends-to-lovers thing. All of it was super well researched, too, I think the author actually said they’d based it off some old crime case they learned about.”

Logan blinked several times and worked very hard on controlling his facial expression. “…Really?”

He must not have done as good a job at acting natural as he’d hoped, because Virgil squinted at him. “Uh, yeah. You good?”

“Fine,” Logan said quickly. “Just—uh—fascinated by the premise. Do you remember anything else about it?”

“I dunno. The smut chapters were really hot,” Virgil said, shrugging.

Logan choked on air. “Ah,” he said faintly. “Yes. Those. I see.”

Virgil snickered. “And those were also, like, excruciatingly well-researched. The author always linked a bunch of sources in the notes for the chapters, and had a whole long rant one time about safe sex in real life. It was weirdly wholesome, actually.”

“That’s—that’s great,” Logan managed.

Virgil paused, eyeing him sharply. “Babe, you’re acting really weird,” he said, frowning. “What’s up?”

“I—” Logan hesitated, reluctant to answer. “What was the author’s username? Do you remember? By any chance?”

“Uhh.” Virgil frowned, concentrating. “It was some kind of pun, I know that. A dirty one.” He snickered. “And a reference. It was clever.”

“Oh,” Logan said, his voice cracking. “Well. That’s—I see.”

“Hang on.” Virgil looked at him sharply. “Do you, like, know the fic I’m talking about?” He looked delighted. “You read fic when you were a teen?”

“I—well, in a manner of speaking, yes,” Logan hedged, his face burning hot all the way to the tips of his ears. He avoided his husband’s eyes.

There was another pause. Then a gasp. “Logan, you’re not saying you wrote it, are you?”

Logan hid his face in his hands. “Maybe?”

Virgil made a wordless noise of gleeful delight. “Holy shit,” he breathed. “Uh—shit, what was it called—the fic was, uh—oh, I’ve got it.” He snapped his fingers. “It was called Journey to Scarlet. I think it was a reference to a couple different things.”

Logan groaned. “Oh god. Yes.” He hiked his legs up onto the couch so he could curl into a ball. “I have so many regrets right now.”

“That was you?” Virgil pressed, delighted.

“Yes,” Logan admitted, muffled, into his crossed arms.

“Holy shit, this is like a fake tumblr post come true,” Virgil said, laughing uncontrollably. “This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I fucking married my favorite fanfic author. This is the best day of my life.”

“I’m going to look up my login and delete it all,” Logan said into his arms, only half meaning it.

“Noo!” Virgil protested, laying a hand on his arm. “No, babe, it was really good, I swear. I bet it still gets hits, even.” He tugged at Logan, guiding him to curl up in Virgil’s arms and lay his head on his husband’s shoulder. “I’m not making fun of you. Promise. I really do think this is awesome and hilarious and great.”

“I never told anyone about my account on that site,” Logan mumbled into his neck. “I’d always delete my search history after going on it.”

“Aww.” Virgil pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I promise whatever embarrassed you about it, I did way worse shit than you did and read things much more eye-bleachingly shameful than you did. I fucking guarantee it. And I linked my profile on all my regular social media.”

“You what?” Logan gasped, startled out of his embarrassment in spite of himself.

“Yeah. I did lots of deeply cringey things that I regret letting people witness, with everything in me,” Virgil said, snickering. “But, like, it’s kind of funny now, I guess.” He pressed a kiss to Logan’s forehead. “I’m not judging you, hon. Promise.”

Logan made a face, though he did not doubt the veracity of his husband’s words. “Okay,” he agreed, tipping his face forward to hide in Virgil’s neck once again.

“Shh. There, there.” Virgil patted his head. “Poor thing,” he teased gently. “You wrote very good stories with very hot smut, oh no, however will you recover?” He sounded intensely amused by this entire situation.

“I wasn’t planning on anyone finding out about them!” Logan said with a somewhat pitiful whimper.

“Okay, babe,” Virgil soothed. “I won’t tell Remus. Promise.”

“Oh, god.” Logan shuddered at the thought. “Thank you.”

He could still hear a note of amusement in his husband’s voice. “Of course, babe.” Virgil lifted Logan’s face and pressed another kiss to his forehead. “Want to watch some more actual Star Trek until you feel better?” He gestured towards the TV, still paused midway through the episode they’d been on.

“Can you still hold me?” Logan asked in a small voice.

Virgil grinned, petting his hair. “Definitely.”

Logan relaxed somewhat, rearranging himself so he could lean on his husband and rest his head over Virgil’s heart. Virgil’s arms came up to cup firmly around him, fingers running through his hair and scratching his scalp as the episode began playing once again.

Logan had to admit, beginning to feel warm and safe and sleepy, that this was not a particularly terrible outcome to this situation.

-

Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @just-a-little-anxious @theimprobabledreamersworld @the-sympathetic-villain @your-local-crackhead-gremlin @peruviandesertfox

[riotwritesthings]

Timing Isn’t Everything

WinterIron, T, 1k, Love Confession, Humor

@winterironmonth Prompt - SFW Sunday: Word, Dialogue

Word: Confession Dialogue: “Shit... I’m in love with him”

“So, when are you planning on finally admitting to the fact that you’re completely head-over-heels for him?” Steve asks flatly, and it takes a couple seconds for Bucky to actually register the words.

When he finally does, Bucky quickly tears his eyes away from watching Tony talk with his hands as he tells some story to Rhodey and Natasha by the bar. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Bucky tries to say, firmly ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks, but Steve just raises an eyebrow at him. “I don’t!”

“Okay,” Steve says, shrugging one shoulder, but Bucky just knows he isn’t letting it go that easily. Even before he opens his mouth again and asks “Remember those romance novels you used to steal from your sister? And made me swear never to mention to anyone ever?”

“Most pointedly no, I do not,” Bucky says, breaking out his absolute best death glare, but Steve continues on undaunted.

“Because if you did, I would point out that your pining could put them all to shame,” Steve says, glaring at him right back, “and if I have to see one more longing look from you I am going to go find a copy of one of those books. And throw it at you.”

“I’m not- I haven’t-” Bucky sputters, resisting the urge to glance around for an escape route, “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Uh-huh,” Steve says, crossing his arms, “so you’ve been staring wistfully at Tony all night and all month and for a year now for some other reason.”

“Yes,” Bucky says, and then quickly backtracks to add “no, I mean- I’m not… I’m just…”

“Watching him smile?” Steve asks, with that stupid smug grin he gets when he thinks he’s right about something.

“No!” Bucky says, maybe a little more vehemently than he intended, and then lowers his voice to hiss “I’m… staring at his ass!”

“Wow,” Steve says dryly, “great defense.”

Bucky’s pretty sure his face is on fire at this point, his heart racing in his chest almost painfully, and he’s just glad the rest of the team is scattered around the large common room of the tower. No one is close enough to hear Steve spewing this absolute nonsense.

Because Bucky’s not ‘head over heels’ for Tony, that’s ridiculous.

So what if he thinks Tony is the smartest person he’s ever met, that’s just true. And so what if he thinks Tony is drop-dead gorgeous, that’s also just the truth, like the fact that he’s perfectly snarky and unexpectedly thoughtful, with a heart bigger than anything Bucky has ever seen. So what if his smile makes Bucky’s heart trip all over itself in his chest, and if Bucky misses him when he’s gone for even the shortest of business trips, if Bucky has taken to buying stupid little trinkets for Tony and it makes him stupidly happy to see them scattered around Tony’s lab in little places of honor. Just because it makes his entire day, no matter what else he has going on, when Tony invites him to watch Star Trek or try some new restaurant, that doesn’t mean—

Fuck.

“Oh,” Bucky says stupidly, his heartbeat echoing in his ears as he quickly reevaluates everything he knows. Across the room Tony laughs loudly at something Thor says as he walks by, and the way Bucky’s heart twists and leaps in his chest feels both so familiar and entirely new. “Oh, fuck.”

“There you go,” Steve says, but Bucky barely registers the words or the heavy sigh that accompanies them, too busy trying to mentally reframe every interaction they’ve ever had and figure out how he didn’t notice.

Except if he’s really honest with himself... he’s always known, hasn’t he?

He saw it coming a mile away, in fact, didn’t he? The first time Tony found him lurking in a dark hallway in the middle of the night, as Bucky spent a lot of time doing when he first arrived at the tower, and Tony hadn’t asked any questions, he’d just raised his giant coffee mug in a salute and tossed Bucky a wink before resuming his own sleepless pacing. Bucky probably knew then, and the knowledge only grew with every interaction, as passing jokes became actual time together, what would happen, but apparently Bucky has been shoving that knowledge down ever since then, because it seems insane, seems like something he shouldn’t be capable of. But here he is, and it’s hitting him all at once.

“Shit…” Bucky breathes out, admitting it to himself as much as to Steve, “I’m in love with him.”

“Hallelujah,” Steve says sarcastically, then rolls his eyes and adds “you should think about telling him one of these days, too.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees numbly, his eyes finding Tony across the room again, “yeah, I…”

He’s distantly aware that Steve probably doesn’t mean right now, right this very second, but Bucky also knows himself.

Fuck, how long has he been denying the truth? And Bucky knows given the chance and too much time he’ll talk himself right out of saying anything, hell he’ll talk himself out of acknowledging that there’s even anything to say, and that—

Bucky can’t let that happen, if nothing else Tony deserves to know that he’s loved, that he’s amazing, and that’s about as far as Bucky gets in the thought process before he’s opening his mouth.

“Hey Tony!” Bucky shouts, loud enough to carry across the large room and draw everyone’s attention, but all that really matters is that Tony looks up at him, eyes bright and a small smile on his face. “I’m in love with you!”

Tony spits out the large sip of his drink he’d just taken, spraying Rhodey right in the face and then coughing harshly while Rhodey lets out a loud squawk.

Rhodey slaps Tony on the back, shooting a glare at Bucky while he wipes at his face with his free hand, and that’s about the time Bucky actually realizes what the fuck he just did. He can feel all the blood draining from his face, and apparently he’s swaying on his feet because Steve puts a hand on his shoulder like he needs to be steadied.

Natasha is giving him a look like she’s failing not to pity him, and he’s pretty sure that’s Clint and Sam he can hear cackle-laughing off to the side somewhere, but the only thing that matters is that when Tony finally catches his breath and looks up at him again, the smile on his face is blinding.

[yasminbenoit]

Yasmin Benoit in Cosmopolitan: “I’m the Unlikely Face of Asexuality”

I was 10 years old when I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I realised I was asexual around the same time as my peers realised they weren’t. In late primary school, the boys and girls didn't want to play together anymore - they 'fancied' and wanted to 'go out' with each other. I watched girls fighting over boy drama in the cafeteria and wondered what had gotten into everyone.

That’s when I decided I’d attend an all girls’ school under the naive belief that, in the absence of boys, none of the girls would care about sex or dating. I quickly discovered that a same-sex environment had the opposite effect.

By the time I was a teenager, my peers started to wonder what was wrong with me. The sexual frustration was turned up to 100, which made it all the more obvious that I wasn't reacting the same way as the other teens. While their sexuality was directed towards any nearby boy, a poster of a boy, or even each other, mine wasn't directed anywhere. And other people wanted to work out why that was more than I did.

Before believing that it was just my innate sexuality, it was easier to assume that I was gay and in denial. Maybe I was molested as a kid and I’d forgotten about it, but been left with psychological scars. I could be hiding a hidden perversion – my dad asked me whether I was into inanimate objects or children when I told him that I wasn’t attracted to men or women. I might be a psychopath, unable to empathise with people enough to deem them attractive. The theory that held the most weight was that I was 'mentally stunted', and I was treated as such. I started to wonder if they were right.

At 15, I learned the word asexual. It was during yet another analysis session of my sexuality at school. I described myself as not being attracted to men or women for the thousandth time, and someone suggested I might be “asexual or something.” With a quick Google search, I realised I wasn’t alone. Asexuality is a term used to describe those who experience a lack of sexual attraction and/or low levels of sexual desire towards others.

It wasn’t a mental or physical disorder, or a personality flaw, or anything related to my appearance or my life experiences. It wasn’t the same as being celibate, or anti-sex, or just being a ‘late bloomer.’ It was a legitimate sexual orientation characterised purely by a lack of sexual attraction or desire, meaning that it had no implications on whether an asexual could masturbate, or actually enjoy sex, or have children, or be in a romantic relationship. There were no limitations, just a way to bring a lot of people under one united umbrella.

I had finally found an answer to everyone’s question... only, no one else knew what the hell I was talking about. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop them from spewing the same ignorant views I had been hearing for years.

To an extent, I can’t blame them. It’s been almost 10 years since I discovered the term and it is barely part of public consciousness. It isn’t included in sex education or any conversations about sexuality. We’re left out of policies, pathologised in psychiatry and there is next-to-no representation for asexual people in the media. You can count positive examples on one hand. Most of the time, asexuality is either a fleeting reference, the butt of a joke, or a trait in a character that’s either an alien, robotic, or evil – a manifestation of their lack of empathy. Think your Sheldon Cooper, your Data from Star Trek, your Lord Voldemort.

Especially for women, it's seen as a symptom of their prudishness, unattractiveness or overall blandness, which needs to be resolved by the end of the plot so they can be complete, appealing, lovable people. After all, being virginal is a good thing, perpetual sexual unavailability is not, particularly when you need a loving sexual relationship to be whole. Even our non-fiction portrayals tend to conform to stereotypes and perpetuate a ‘woe is them’ narrative. And among all of these things, they’re probably white, occasionally East Asian, but never Black. Black people are hypersexualised to the point where that would become contradictory and confusing for the audience. And that’s what I would end up being.

When I first mentioned on social media that I was asexual, I had no intention of becoming a voice for the asexual community. It seemed too unlikely to contemplate. After all, I was a Black gothic student from Berkshire who got sat on at school because I was that invisible. On top of that, my work as an alternative lingerie model meant I was far from the girl/boy-next-door like the asexual activists who had come before me. But, apparently, that's what the community wanted. From there, my activism took off.

I quickly found myself becoming one of the community's most prominent - but unlikely - faces. I used my platform to raise awareness for asexuality, empower asexual people, dispel misconceptions and promote our inclusion in spaces we've traditionally been left out of. From incorporating asexuality into lingerie campaigns, speaking at government institutions, being the first openly asexual person to appear on LGBTQ+ magazine covers, and opening asexual spaces, my work has been intersectional if not a little controversial.

I had never experienced hatred online like I have since speaking openly about asexuality. Only through my work did I become aware of acephobia and the exclusionary discourse surrounding what at first seems like an inoffensive and discreet orientation. It’s shown me how important asexuality activism is, and it’s made me aware of just how diverse, powerful and unique the asexual community is. How they stand up for the rights of others even when we’re ignored ourselves, how they’ll never let their invisibility stop them from developing their own unique culture, history, and progressive understanding of human sexuality and love.

This week is Asexual Awareness Week, an occasion founded by Sara Beth Brooks a decade ago. It’s one of the few times in the year that the community demands to be seen and people start looking.

Don’t miss us, we have a lot to show you.

[shutupanddance]

#3 with Bones

@lo14ry19 asked: “If you’re still taking requests…. Number 3 with AOS Bones?”

Okay y’all must REALLY love Bones because nothing has blown up as fast as my content on him! He is definitely my favorite Star Trek hottie tho so I’m not complaining. I hope you like this hun!! I decided to make a whole one shot because I couldn’t figure out how to do this in headcanons.

It was a simple mission. Get in, make friends, get out. But when the surface of the planet is a metaphorical minefield, it’s not that easy.

You were currently stepping gingerly across some volcanic rock, and gaining very little ground. To the north, water spouts were exploding into the air as ocean waves hit the rocks, and to the south, lava was spewing out of several places. You were *trying* to move east. At least, that’s the way Captain Kirk was walking. But the more he scratched his head and laughed nervously, the less confident you felt. Where was this civilization you were supposed to make contact with? There were no signs of it from what you could see.

Behind you, Spock and Bones were arguing, as is to be expected. You weren’t sure what had started it; you tend to ignore their fights automatically. Their words had about as much consequence to you as the bird-like creatures chattering in the distance, until they brought you into it.

“I bet she’d agree,” Leonard is saying, and you dread whatever you’re about to be dragged into.

“What?” You shout over your shoulder, trudging along.

“Can you settle something for us?”

You pivot in place, and they’re still arguing.

“That isn’t necessary,” Spock says, “I’m sure Y/N would be-“

You drop.

You’re not exactly sure what happened, or how it happened. Must have been a misplaced foot or too much weight in one spot. But either way, the ground had given out from under you, and you were sent plummeting into the darkness along with some lava rock.

You were aware only of the blackness of your surroundings, and how much it hurt as you continued to slide and roll further into what you assumed was a lava tube. You’d heard about these from one of the away team geologists, how when lava runs around something and then that something decays or is moved, it forms a tube. The lecture was running through your mind as you tumbled further into the planet. When you finally stopped moving, you couldn’t remember if the ensign had mentioned anything about navigating these lava tubes.

It was quiet down here, and you find yourself beginning to panic. Bile rises in your throat and you heart rate spikes. You’re alone. Deep in some sort of cave. And you can’t see a thing.

The ground feels freezing underneath you. You can hear some more small rocks clattering down the tube towards you, but nothing else. The team will find you, right? You should stay put for awhile. They have Ground Penetrating Radar that can detect you, and they’ll send someone down to get you.

In order to distract yourself, you try to think through who they’ll send. The Captain would want to go, but they also need to reach the civilization before dark. So they’ll split up. The geologist will probably stay to use the GPR, and Spock will go with Kirk, as usual. Where will Bones go? Leonard…

If someone ever asked you about your feelings for the doctor, you’d deny it. But if Nyota got you drunk and asked the same question, you’d admit everything. You had liked McCoy ever since you joined the Enterprise. Being Jim Kirk’s friend from the academy, you automatically made friends with anyone who could tell Jim off and get away with it, and Leonard definitely fell into that category. When the Captain screwed up, it was you two who set him straight. You and Bones always been friends, eating lunch together, going on missions together, and even working together from time to time. When you couldn’t sleep, you’d come down to the med bag and help organize files or equipment. Leonard’s drawers never had labels on them before.

A memory of him scratching his head at the little stickers made you smile, but it was interrupted by your name, shouted loud and clear. Bones.

“I’m here!” You screamed, your voice cracking.

Quick feet tapped across the lava rock towards you, and you wished so badly that you could see him.

“I’ve got you,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Are you hurt?”

You wiggled around a bit, feeling for any major injuries.

“No I think- I think I’m okay. I’m okay. Just very bruised.” You laugh dryly, but it quickly turns into tears. Why were you crying? You couldn’t stop. Your breathing came in short gasps again and you began to shake.

“Hey. Hey.” Leonard quickly sat down with you, and pulled you to him with one arm around your waist. His other hand he placed on your chest, reminding you to breath normally. His lips ghosted the hair above your ear, a quiet kiss.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered, and you nodded minutely.

Once your breathing had evened, you could feel his encouraging smile against your ear, and the soft tug of his hand at your waist. He felt warm and safe, and suddenly crying over the cave seemed foolish.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, and he leaned away slightly.

“Don’t be. We all have moments like these.”

He began to stand up, using his hand on your waist to guide you up as well.

“I can’t see a thing,” you said nervously.

“I know. Just close your eyes. And listen. And trust me. I’m going to tell you where to step.” His voice was probably the most comforting thing you could have asked for, and you were immensely glad that they sent Leonard instead of anyone else.

“Close my eyes? I already can’t see.”

“Exactly. But you expect to see darkness when your eyes are closed, not when they’re opened. Just shut them tight, and you’re less likely to panic about how dark it is.”

It sounded stupid, but you tried it anyway. He was right.

“Okay,” you breathed, and he began to guide you out of the cave.

His hand never left your waist.

[to-boldly-nope]

Shakespeare and Kisses- Jean-Luc Picard x Reader

Plot: {Requested by @groovy-lady} Jean-Luc and Wife!Reader having a nice relaxing day on the Enterprise-D (lots of cuddles and fluff)!

Words: 830

A/N: I tried to make this as fluffy and as long as possible to take up some spare time at home. Also like Shakespeare is only mentioned once but like it's cute ig??? And I'm trying to update my masterlist but I may have to split the Star Trek one in half because it won't upload. Big sad :(

It was rare for you and Jean-Luc to have a day off with each other and today was that rare day. No alarms, no Starfleet uniforms, no landing parties, just you and your husband.

You felt Jean-Luc shuffle around and you held onto him tighter. “Where are you going?”

“I have to get up, mon amour,” he chuckled before kissing your forehead, causing you to whine.

“Jean-Luc, today’s our day off. If you think I’m getting out of bed, then you’re mistaken.”

“Just for a moment, my dear. I’ll be back, I promise.”

You sighed and let go of him. “Just a few minutes and then we can spend all day in bed.”

“Promise?” You asked with pleading eyes.

“I promise,” he smiled as he tucked you in before walking out of the bedroom section of his quarters. You rolled over and enjoyed the peace. You always did enjoy the day off with Jean-Luc, it was one day without anything dangerous happening to either of you. Riker could take care of the ship; he’s done it before.

You knew the being married to a starship captain would’ve been chaotic, but you honestly didn’t care. You both loved each other. You smelt food coming from the main part of his quarters and the sound of his voice spewing commands to the replicator.

Breakfast in bed. Your second favorite thing in the world.

“I thought that you would be hungry.”

“Darling, you’re too sweet to me,” you sighed romantically as you sat up in bed. You then rubbed the sleep from your eyes as he sat the tray down on your lap.

“It’s called chivalry, my dear. I like to believe that I’m an old-fashioned lover.”

You wanted to make a joke, but you just smiled and began to eat your breakfast. As you ate your toast, you noticed Picard admiring you.

“What?” You asked.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just admiring about how you look.”

You snorted. Only Jean-Luc could find attractiveness in your bedhead and your pajamas. No matter what you were wearing or what you were doing he always found something new to adore about you.

~

The chronometer glowed some random time. Neither of you seemed to care about what time it was. Jean-Luc was reading some Shakespeare sonnets to you as you rested your head on his chest.

“Darling?”

“Yes, mon amour?”

“Why did you fall in love with me? Like why me out of all people?”

“Well,” he sighed out. “I don’t believe that there is anybody on this ship, in the whole universe, that can match to what I feel towards you. You are you and that’s something so extraordinary. They say that we’re all made of stardust, my dear, but you? You are an entire star and as a starship captain, I’m very attracted to you. You had strike curiosity within me, and I needed to know more. You’re the universe I was always so helpless in.”

“Listen, I was only curious, I didn’t expect a whole damn speech.”

“You always did tell me that I had a way with words. It must be my charming persona,” he joked, making you laugh. “But there’s nothing I would give up this moment for.”

Jean-Luc grabbed your hand and placed a kiss to your knuckles. It was something he always did. A simply, sweet gesture that always made your heart melt and your ears to turn red every single time. Only this time he held onto your hand a bit longer than normal. This was one of his many signs that you’ve picked up. Jean-Luc was a man of chivalry, but even being married for a decent amount of time now, he still always asks permission for things. Every time he held your hand a bit longer than usual was his way of asking for a kiss.

“Jean-Luc, you don’t have to ask, we are married after all.”

“Yes, I know, but I still like to ask. I’m-“

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a gentleman,” you sighed as you propped yourself up on your elbows. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

Jean-Luc beamed as he cupped your cheek and brought you down into a kiss. One that was so full of love and care. One said that said that he wanted to cherish you forever. A kiss that you were willing to get lost in over and over again.

“You know, I hate to say this, but our day off is almost over,” Jean-Luc whispered as he moved a piece of hair out of your eyes.

“That’s lame,” you whined while you laid back down on his chest. “We should at least get some sleep though; you get cranky when you’re tired.”

“I do not,” he laughed. “If anyone’s cranky when their tired, it’s you.”

“Look, we’re already bickering like an old married couple,” you pointed out before yawning.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he smiled while he wrapped his arms around you. “Goodnight, mon amour.”

“Goodnight, darling.”