#starting to realize how often i’ve been avoiding leaving the house bc i know it’ll be painful and exhausting to like go to the store or w/e

[gotyouanyway]

i keep having dreams where i get a wheelchair and then i’m wheeling around like “oh my god i’m shopping rn and i’m not in pain!! this is the best day of my life!!” 🫥🧍🏼

[hotegg]

my weird fae connection (pt 1)

ive has a weird relationship with fey my whole life, even when i didn’t believe they existed.

my earliest memory regarding faeries was when i was reeeaaallly small. baby toddler age. i had this lovely little book about faeries that had beautiful and captivating illustrations. it was a little kids book, so i imagine its contents were sweet and bedtime story-ish. yet, when i looked at it, i got such a weird feeling. kinda like... i got uncomfortable? i wasn’t sure why, though.

fast forward many years until i started my craft, so about a year and a half ago. i learn a bit about the fey/fae but only really basic stuff like don’t give them your name, don’t make deals with them unless you’re really prepared, don’t thank them, they are dangerous, ect ect

other than that, i didn’t spend too much time focusing on them because i was busy learning other things.

one day i was feeling generous and in a giving mood. i wanted to become a bit more friendly towards whatever forces or spirits resides on and around my land. so i left a very very simple offering and told them to enjoy. part of the dedication was to the fae that might’ve been around.

it was kinda a one-time thing. i didn’t leave any other offerings after that. but then, oh boy, a week or so after, i had a shit week. all of my stuff kept going missing in the most INCONVENIENT of times. sometimes the things would turn up at the end of the day, sometimes not. it was extremely frustrating and it made me real upset real fast. at the time, i just didn’t recognize that a spirit, or even the fey, was messing with me. the idea only really hit me last month out of the blue.

as i’m going about my path, learning witch stuff and doing magic, i meet a lot of amazing people online. i also got some energy readings done. from what i can remember, i’ve been told i have fey/fae energy twice now. the first time was by a friend here on tumblr just briefly starting that my energy reminds them of fae. huh, weird. it was interesting, but nothing clicked when they said that.

even after a year of practicing magick, i still didn’t learn much about faeries. in fact, i kinda avoided them. actually, i definitely avoided them. i’m not sure why. kinda like the book when i was small, i just kept getting weird vibes from fey that i didn’t wanna mess with. especially after i realized that the week of hell i had experienced might’ve been due to the fact that i didn’t give the fae more offerings when they wanted it.

now, i honestly can’t remember if this next event was before or after my friend mentioning the fae vibe in my energy. but i remember one night, definitely a handful of months ago at least, i was falling asleep. but it wasn’t... it wasn’t a normal way of me falling asleep, if that makes sense? yes, i was laying down, i was comfortable and tired and ready to rest, but my energetic being was like “nope! we want to go to the astral!!!” and it was hard for me to stop.

it felt like i was diving head first down a chute. i keep going deeper until i remember seeing an oddly blank background that had a reddish tint to it? and standing before the strange backdrop, i (blurry) saw a handful of small beings. they were short (and if i’m remembering correctly, kinda squat) and had wings, and looked like they had human bodies. other than that, i couldn’t make out the details.

they seemed really joyful and jolly. kinda like any creature dancing and singing in Shrek. to me, it was like watching the cheesiest play.

they were singing in these high pitches voices and i understood they were smiling and acting happy and whimsical. but their dancing seemed to be leading me to somewhere. they were inviting somewhere. they were trying to lure me in.

now, a couple things to mention here.

1. i trust my deep foundation of my soul to save me in odd circumstances. i feel somewhat confident that i could kinda auto-pilot around in the astral and trust my core being not to be stupid. and i trust that in dangerous or odd situations, my consciousness will awaken, like it did in the situation, and i’ll be able to try to make my way out.

2. i understand that what i was seeing could’ve been a glamour. probably was a glamour. but the question is by who? were fey trying to appear more inviting? or was some other entity trying to completely fool me by portraying something vastly, vastly different from what they truly are? who knows. i guess i will never find out. but for now, we’ll say they were faeries because they appeared that way to me.

alright. so. these little faeries things were dancing and singing and speaking to me like an overly enthusiastic tour guide. when i noticed they were moving in a way that looked like they were trying to lure me somewhere, my consciousness woke the fuck up.

the creature were saying things like “come on! join us! it’ll be fun!” all that kinda bs.

and i kept yelling and trying to pull away from this... deceptive force that was trying to bring me in. i just kept yelling “no! i don’t want to!” over and over again, louder and louder, until i woke up with a jolt.

........ 🤷🏻‍♀️

so! after that!!! REALLY avoided fae.

fast forward to now. maybe last week or this week? i get an energy reading done by a blog on tumblr i’ve never interacted with before.

they mention that i’m connected to fae. not that my energy reminds them of fae, but that i’m connected somehow. weird.

still not sure how i’m connected to them, but once i read that, something seemed to lock into place? like some sort of subconscious meaning clicking that i couldn’t grasp yet. and ever since, my relationship with fae has appeared to become weirder.

ever since the diviner told me that, shit started in my house. specifically, my things. but only when i was looking for them.

okay, cat. that’s normal. you’re forgetful, clumsy, messy, and you misplace things often.

but... it was getting to a really strange point. as if, whatever happening was intentional.

the only example i can really remember clearly (because it happened AFTER i wondered if my shit going missing again was fae) is the other morning. maybe yesterday or the before?

i was sitting on my floor in front of my mirror in my room, doing my makeup. i needed to use my toner before i did anything. i had sat down after purposefully placing my toner next to my makeup bag after taking it out of another bag.

so, i layed all my cosmetics out before me and then reached for my toner.

which wasn’t there.

????????????????????????

i sat in place for a moment with this face: 🤨

and proceeded to carefully observe my surroundings. the bottle (about the size of a shampoo container) was no where on the floor with me. nor was it in my bedsheets. or on top of my only shelf.

i went out of my room and looked in each bathroom in my house bc i know how absolutely terrible my memory is and how easy it is for me to misplace things.

it’s nowhere to be found.

i go back to my room, now kinda frustrated, and i look everywhere in my room. i lift more things up, move all my makeup, shake my sheets, i do it all. still nada.

so. i sigh. then, knowing what i had to do, i spoke aloud and said, “please, toner, reveal yourself to me.” a simple spell that is kinda reliable in my experience.

when i said those words, i silently aimed it towards any spirits that may have been around. that were most likely around.

what do you know. THREE SECONDS after the words, i don’t even look around my room. i just plop myself back in front of the mirror, ready to give up on the toner, and the damn bottle was sitting on top of my makeup.

😐

so, ever since that. this fae relationship connection thing has.... caught my attention.

the odd thing is though. this week, as my stuff is being moved around (there were multiple other instances like the toner), my possessions seemed to turn up almost immediately after i asked for them back.

which is making me think... if this is fae shenanigans, they don’t seem to be doing this out of anger. but rather as... some sort of sign to communicate with me? or confirm something that i can’t even process right now.

anyways. i’m going to continue to try to understand what is happening and why with as little direct communication to fae as possible.

does anyone have thoughts in this????

ill be sure to keep an uodated log on this fae connection journey.

OH! the whole reason i wrote this in the first place!!! lately- before the weird fae stuff started happening within the past couple weeks- i’ve noticed that i cannot let a diviner do a service for me without giving them something in return. at first, i thought i was doing it to be nice. and i am. but. i can’t help but wonder if it’s fae influenced...

update: i also remember that last night i went to bed with my retainer in and in the morning it wasn’t in my mouth and i haven’t been able to find it! that’s too weird if that’s fae influenced!

i also remember that i was trying to count something, but for some reason it was extremely hard to count up to ten and my mind and tongue felt twisted. i have no idea if they do stuff like that, but i couldn’t help but think about the fae.

[quercussp]

Thank you everyone who responded to my shave/don’t shave question. I asked because I was interested in how common it is for people to shave in general, how different people feel depending on their gender and what reasons people have. The overwhelming majority of people who answered me identified as female and shaved either their legs or their pits, or both. I’m going to compile all the answers I got under the cut, except the ones I was asked not to publish, but it’s only fair if I also answer the questions:

1) I identify as female 2) I don’t shave my pits or my legs, and haven’t for several years now. About once every couple months I trim the hair to be about 0.5 cm, but I never shave them completely. 3) As for my reasons: I prefer not to do anything if it’s not necessary, and it’s extra time and money, so since I don’t find it necessary, I don’t do it. Also it hurts my skin and I don’t find smooth skin more esthetically or otherwise appealing. On the contrary, I find body hair very beautiful on a woman. However, I realize that all this comes from a position of privilege: my job and my family/partner do not put any pressure on me to do it. I also already feel like I don’t confine to social norms (I’m fat, almost bald, I never wear make up), so psychologically it’s much easier for me to not feel pressured into it. I think there is nothing wrong with doing one or the other, but I do hope that if you shave only because you feel pressured to, at some point in life you will be in a position to stop doing it. You deserve to treat your body the way you want to, not the way other people tell you to.

Here are the responses:

Do shave:

female ( cis, bi), yep both, and because it feels nice on the legs and is good for pole dancing, and arms because it itches and because i've done it for years so now its a habit! (@coffeebitch62​)

1) I am female 2) I only shave when my armpits or legs are on show and I’m leaving the house 3) I hate saying this but I feel so self-conscious if I don’t shave. Like I feel like everyone is judging me and will think of me in a negative light. I know that most of it is all in my head but it’s hard to turn it all off.

I am female and shave. I hate body hair on humans in general. I just no. I can't stand the feeling of it (I am very sensitive with textures) (@calamityems​)

1. female 2. sometimes but not often (largely dependant on if they'll be visible? so pits more than legs) 3. laziness and no desire to conform to gender norms and expectations, but when i do it's because i don't have enough body confidence anyway, never mind to stand out for non-conformity lol but if i was more comfortable in myself i probably wouldn't shave (@legdabs​)

i identify as a woman, i willingly shave pits but i wouldn't shave anything else if i didn't get pressure from all my family to do it (my friends don't give a shit, but my family are always trying to get me to be/do what they consider more 'feminine' eg shopping, makeup etc etc, and they believe that it's gross and improper for a woman not to shave)

1. female (but I don't let it define me as a person) 2. yes, both sometimes 3. It depends on my mood. I don't like it when it itches, which it's doing right now. I also don't do it sometimes because I think I don't have to just because I am female, an I hate that notion. I do think it can look good, and feel nice but I do believe keeping the hair is healthier and does look good as well. I struggle with it more on the legs, torn between how the hair looks and the itching.

I just recently tried not shaving my armpits (I have otherwise shaved them consistently since I started growing hair there, so it's just very routine) because I had a sore in one that was not healing. It wasn't too bad, but eventually I just wanted nice smooth pits again so I've gone back to shaving them, but I do it less frequently now, and I think the skin is healthier, and I'm no longer bothered by having a little hair there! As for legs, I shave if I'm going to wear shorts or a skirt, and occasionally I just feel like shaving for no reason, but for the most part, in the winter, I let it grow. I have very light and sparse leg hair though.... there is more on my arms but I don't shave that. (@ladycynthiana​)

Kind of (either shave one and not the other, or very rarely):

1) I identify as a female 2) I shave my pits but not my legs cause my leg hair is blonde and I’m half black so when the light shines on the hair it glows. It’s like diy body glitter by doin less work.

I’m female and I shave my pits but rarely my legs. If I’m going somewhere nice or want to feel soft sure. But never for other people. Except pits cause social standards 🙄

i'm female and i shave my legs cause i like the smooth feeling when lying on my side but don't shave my pits

I identify as female and right now my legs look like they belong to sasquatch. I'd say I don't shave more than I do, just because it's a pain in the butt and I don't care how the hair looks. My partner doesn't really care either, although if I do shave, it'll usually get him excited

i tend to avoid exposing my legs, so i can not shave them without social consequences. i do shave my underarms though, and when i have to have visible leg, and i feel bad about it. (@templeofshame​)

Don’t shave:

female and i don't shave anything! being smooth is nice but i love my hair and i feel more myself when i have it! (@tulipau​)

i’m a cis girl and recently i’ve been experimenting with no shaving at all! and surprisingly i actually find myself quite sexy with hairy pits even tho i never wouldn’t have guessed it 👀

ok, now that you're asking: i am a woman and i haven't shaved my legs in the last four years (i'm 23). i do shave my armpits occasionally when i feel like it (depends how much i exercise, if i wear a lot of heavy jumpers that make me sweat etc). i've never shaved my ladyparts bc i take pride in being an adult woman with adult ladyparts. i am not a child. // reasons for not shaving my legs: 1- i stopped shaving bc i was only doing it for other people. my body hair doesn't bother me, i would only do it for the male gaze of our society. and then i realised that it's not my purpose on this earth to be nice to look at. 2- i've actually grown to love my body hair. it is just part of the human body, there's nothing wrong about it that needs to be removed. the human body is perfect just the way we are born. i love how my legs look (i have thin, quite dark leg hair), i love how they feel. if you shave, your legs feel kind of numb. mine don't. i can feel the breeze against my bare legs when i'm outside. 3- it makes me feel strong. idk why, i feel grounded, the same way that wearing combat boots make me feel. // i'm bisexual and sexually active. i've never had anyone be rude. (i keep away from douchebags) // don't be scared people. it's actually not that noticeable as you may think. if you don't come close you don't even see it. and if people look funny bc they see my armpits - it's rly not their business. if they want to look like molerats - i'm not judging either. i wanted to add to/clarify shaving my armpits: i don't like sweating with shaved armpits (eg exercising sleeveless in summer) bc of the wet feeling. on the other side i feel like when i wear thick clothes in winter and i sweat (warm rooms inside), and i DON'T shave, i start smelling (i do use deodorant, don't worry). therefore i will probably shave my armpits in winter and not in summer. most people probs do it the other way lol

[poop4u]

Preventing Separation Anxiety in the Time of Covid

#Poop4U

  If you’ve been home more often than not because of Covid Safe at Home, this is a good time to ensure that your dog doesn’t end up with Separation Anxiety (SA) when you go back to work. I’m concerned, as are many of my colleagues, that there is going to be a surge in separation anxiety cases once people aren’t home as often. I suspect that this is especially true of all the dogs that have been adopted from shelters during the Covid crisis, and have yet to experience being home alone.

Here are three tips that can help:

1. Keep calm and come home: Teach your dog that your arrivals and departures are nothing to get excited (or anxious) about. I’ll admit that it’s hard to not get excited when you get home and there’s a wriggly, puddle of love waiting for you, but calm is key. Keep your greetings quiet and low key–this doesn’t mean you can’t love up your dog as much as you’d like. Just do it without lots of highly arousing expressions of joy; quiet and calm is the key here.

That’s goes for departures too. As a friend once said when I told her I felt guilty leaving my dogs home, she noted that they were going to spend the morning lying on the couch while I worked my ass off in my office to bring home the dog food. Now I say quietly, with true warmth and affection,”Love you, be good” when I go, and leave it at that.

   ��    Please don’t be this person, says the dog while trying to get away.

  2. Begin a desensitizing and counter conditioning plan. The good news is that it’s not hard to condition a dog to being comfortable when you leave the house. The bad news is that, depending the dog, it can take focus and energy, qualities in short supply for most of us right now.

Here’s the simple version: Leave your dog with something that makes her happy while you leave the house. Here’s the oh-so-important detail: Start by leaving for just seconds or minutes at a time. Where you start depends on what your life is like right now, and how dependent or independent your dog is. If your dog is often alone in the house while you and the family are out in the garden, then just add in a quick drive around the neighborhood while your dog chews on a stuffed Kong or bullystick.

If you think about it and realize your dog has simply never been alone in the house lately, then start by having everyone walk to the mailbox while your dog snarfs up kibble tossed onto the floor. What’s important is to start small: Really, really small. If your dog already has SA, then “small” means “walk to the door and put your hand on the doorknob” five times in a row while your dog eats some treats. Or pick up your keys, or put on your coat, ten times in a row to desensitize your dog to that action.

This is the tricky part to explain, because it depends on so many factors, most importantly, your dog’s behavior when you leave the house. If you have a new dog that you got while you stayed Safe at Home, start by noticing how often you leave the dog alone in the house and what you can guess about your dog’s behavior behaves if/when you’re gone. (Taping your dog is a great thing to do and can actually be entertaining.)

I wrote a booklet titled I’ll Be Home Soon: How to Prevent and Treat  Separation Anxiety that goes over this in great detail. It’s concise, only 38 pages, and might be worthwhile if you need some more advice about how to proceed. Dogwise and I agreed to put it on sale, basically at cost, in order to help out anyone who could use it.

(Cautionary note: I wrote the booklet in 2000, twenty long years ago, and used the phrase “leader of the pack”. Sigh. It had nothing to do with the meaning now associated with that phrase; it advised teaching your dog to be patient and polite. Needless to say, next time it’s printed I’ll change the wording.) (Cautionary note #2: The scariest thing about publishing something is that the words you wrote will live on. And on and on . . .)

If you’d like to read more on this topic, you might enjoy reading a post I wrote in 2011 about research that claimed counter conditioning wasn’t helpful in SA cases. The research is so flawed my head almost exploded, but it makes for amusing if not slightly frustrating reading.

  3. Never correct or punish your dog after the fact. This actually goes for ALL dog behavior, but is highly relevant to dogs who are anxious when left alone.  Your dog may look guilty when you come home to ripped up pillows or a pile on the carpet, but Brandy’s appeasing posture is designed to avoid your wrath, not because “she knows she shouldn’t do it”. (Read more about the “guilty dog fallacy” here). Scolding her when you get home will likely do nothing but make it worse the next time you leave.

  I’d love to hear what’s going on with you. Dogs fine home alone? Have a new dog who you’re not sure about? Had a dog with SA and now it’s fine? Let’s us know, we’d love to hear about it.

  MEANWHILE, back on the farm: Our life is revolving around Skip’s injured leg, with daily moist heat treatments, laser treatments and 3 sets of physical therapy exercises recommended by kick ass PT Courtney Arnoldy. (Who we managed to get in to see, sort of. I handed Skip off to her in front of the clinic and we worked hard to communicate by phone amidst a major construction project across the street.)

Skip gets one leash walk off the farm a day, which is the best part of his treatment for all of us for sure. We’re up to 35 minutes with no sign of it hurting him, so that’s good news. Prognosis is one to three months more, please please please let it be the former rather than the latter. I am working hard on accepting this reminder of life having “other plans.” I do better some days than others; he and I were just clicking as a working sheepdog team the week it happened, so I alternate between meditative acceptance and being pure and simply pissed off.  I give equal thanks to meditation most days, and gin on Friday and Saturday nights to get me through.

I hung back with Maggie to take this shot of Jim and Skip. All of us agree that leash walks are better than nothing, but don’t begin to make up for the joy of off leash walks.

Black Earth Creeks runs alongside one of the trails we have been enjoying lately with the BCs.

Here’s a happy sign of spring: Healthy triplets on the farm of friend Donna H, whose 13 ewes had more triplets (and some quads!) than anything else.

The Prairie Smoke in our garden is smoldering (wait til you see it when it seeds!):

  Below is a view from behind the house looking up toward our “DIY safari tent”. The piles you see are from the invasive Bush Honeysuckle that formed an almost solid wall in what used to be an oak/hickory/black cherry woods. I’ve never seen anything as invasive as this plant, it literally takes over entire areas and prevents anything else from growing. A crew from Quercus Land Stewardship spent two days cutting it and treating the stumps. They’ll come back in June to burn the piles, and will seed the area with native woodland flowers and herbs in fall. It’ll take years to get it back to health, and we’ll be dealing with massive amounts of wild raspberries for years, but it will all be worth it, even if it doesn’t come into its own until after Jim and I are gone. (Yes, raspberries are great to eat, but try walking through a patch of solid raspberries sometime.)

Jim and I look forward to staying overnight in the tent sometime soon. We’re waiting for nighttime lows above 50 F, hopefully not too long from now. We have lots more tent clean up to do before staying there though, (we say “your welcome” to all the mice who enjoyed living there last year), so we’re okay with another week of lows in the 40’s.

I loved hearing about what you are looking forward to last week, keep it up!

    Poop4U Blog via www.Poop4U.com Trisha, Khareem Sudlow

[lolbtsaus]

Ice Cream (Youtuber!Jungkook)

Plot: #87: “There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight.” + #88: “Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer.” with youtuber!Jungkook as a father

Word Count: 1381

A/N: so werewolf!chim as a father is in the works, it’ll most likely be out tomorrow but until then, I have another drabble bc I’ve been loving drabbles hopefully you guys have been liking them as well, I know some people prefer AUs some people like both AUs and drabbles so hopefully you guys are liking both of them, if you’d like to see more of one of them, plz let me know and I’ll try to balance it out more in that one’s favor!! The link for this is youtuber!Jungkook (here) but I decided to add in father!kook (all of the father related posts are here) as well bc I was planning to do a youtuber!BTS as fathers soon and then I got an idea for it when I was reading the prompt and I had to

If there was one thing that could never annoy you, it was being woken up by your children. If it was anyone else waking you up, it might be a different story but waking up to hear their giggles, to see their messy hair, their energetic smiles, it made any annoyance of being woken up disappear. You woke up to your daughter’s hand pressing against your cheek, squishing it under her palm. Your sleepy eyes were slow to open but you couldn’t see much besides her hair, a tired smile appearing on your face when you heard Jungkook’s groan muffled by the pillow as your son walked across his back. You hugged her waist, pulling her down to your height in both an attempt to get her hand off of your cheek as well as giving her a good morning kiss.

Mornings went by a routine. You woke up, you and Jungkook brushing your teeth before you ushered your kids into their bathroom so they could get their teeth brushed. Then it would be time for breakfast, one of you keeping the kids entertained while the other prepared the meal to avoid any hunger tantrums. After breakfast, they would get dressed for the day and you would officially start your day. Jungkook would film for a while, sometimes just an hour, sometimes several. 

At first, Jungkook had tried to keep your children out of his videos and streams, for privacy reasons, on top of the fact that it was difficult to film when you had two toddlers asking you questions about what you were doing or wanting to be included in whatever it was you were doing. He had been using the spare room to film, normally leaving the door open just a crack in case they needed him. But he was quick to realize that plan was failing. They were both extremely curious, especially about what their parents were doing. They both wanted to know why Jungkook went into that room after lunch, they wanted to know who he was talking to, what he was playing. He didn’t have the heart to force them out of the room and they soon became a staple on his channel, especially in his streams where he couldn’t edit clips in or out. 

He had always had a gaming based channel but it wasn’t unheard of for him to do the occasional non-gaming video, sometimes posting a vlog, sometimes a Q&A, sometimes just a video where he talked. So when he made a video explaining they may be frequent guests, no one was really all that surprised. They didn’t want to play the games, not yet, they just wanted to sit with him, normally coloring or building a Lego structure. Jungkook did have to bite his tongue at moments, holding back certain words that they were too young to hear.

He had been playing a game that day, thankfully not recording or streaming but just replaying a game he loved. His son was in his lap, his daughter laying next to him with a chocolate bar in her hands, both of them rambling in their typical toddler talk that no one fully understood but could most often grasp the concept of. You sat on the other side of your daughter, all four of you loving the feeling of the AC cooling the house down. You were having a day off, a day to just relax with your family and get better. The kids were both getting over a cold, a cold that spread to both you and Jungkook. They weren’t in the greatest mood due to not feeling well, their noses stuffy and their throats sore while they waited for the medicine to help. They were getting hungry, they were tired because they hadn’t been able to sleep well during their nap, they were just not feeling the best.

Obviously, the last thing that would improve their mood was the electricity going out. The house dimmed, the setting sun providing just enough light to see the shapes of the the furniture in your room. You heard your daughter sniffle first, her eyes tearing up as her hand grabbed your arm.

“It’ll only be down for a little while, it’s okay.” Jungkook comforted, rubbing your son’s back. “The dark is fun!”

“No it isn’t!” your son argued back, shaking his head quickly. “It’s scary, all of the monsters come out in the dark!”

If it wasn’t for the fact that you knew your son wasn’t feeling well and that he was scared of the dark, you would’ve thought the scene was adorable. The way your son slumped onto Jungkook’s chest, seeking out the comfort of being in his arms, the way his bottom lip slightly pouted, his brow furrowing, his nose a light shade of red. All you could do was kiss his forehead, hoping that if you toyed with his hair long enough, he wouldn’t be so afraid.

“But we’re safe in the house.” your daughter pointed out, rubbing her watery eyes. “Right?”

“No monsters here.” Jungkook confirmed, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. “Since the ice cream could melt before the electricity turns back on, why don’t we go make some sandwiches for dinner and then eat the ice cream for dessert? I’ll light some candles so we can see.” 

If there was one thing you loved about Jungkook, it was his ability to make you, and your kids, feel like everything was okay. When you had gotten so nervous you could barely talk on your wedding day, he had been the one to lean against the other side of the door and talk to you until he had you excited to give your vows, rather than be nervous about them. When your daughter had caught her first cold and had given it to her brother, he had been the one to make them laugh and keep them laugh and keep their minds off of their sickness. He had always been there for the three of you and you knew he always would be, just like you all were there for him.

He had turned what could’ve been a horrible night into a fun game night. He had helped you make sandwiches the best he could while having a toddler in his arms, the other on his shoulders. He had set up candles all throughout your bedroom, lighting the room up as best as he could. You had all sat on your bed, using your laptop to play a movie while you ate your dinner. You had spooned the ice cream into bowls while Jungkook set up a board game, smiling to yourself when you had your children’s giggles at whatever Jungkook was doing. Your smile only widened when you walked in to see that he had placed the board on top of his head, trying to set the pieces on it while keeping it balancing, all to keep the children from paying any attention to the darkness outside of your window.

Your son sat in your lap, your fingers brushing his fringe back, your daughter sat in Jungkook’s while he fanned a piece of paper in her direction to keep her cool. The night began to grow cooler thankfully, the ice cream helping as well. You hadn’t even been paying attention to the fact that the electricity was out, too distracted by the antics of your toddlers and your husband. You knew they weren’t paying attention either, their giggles too loud and too frequent for them to be worried about it. You leaned against the headboard of your bed, rubbing your son’s stomach gently as you helped him take his turn.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.” Jungkook whispered to you as he carried your now asleep daughter into their room, gently setting her on her bed before doing the same with your son.

“Thanks, Kookie. You really helped tonight, this could’ve been so much worse.”

“That’s what I’m here for, to keep you and them happy and healthy.”

You looked over your shoulder as the lights began to turn back on, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. “How about tomorrow morning, I make breakfast in bed for you to say thank you?”

“I would love that.”

[vieuxnoyesrp]

Sally. We were afraid it’d be a while before there were any takers for our teenage rebel, Jeremy Gilbert. But after reading your application, we were of the unanimous opinion that it was well worth the wait!  Your passion absolutely shines through this application, and we love how deeply you dive into a character’s story and head-space; a fact we are fortunate enough to know given your astounding portrayal of Malia Tate. But even if we hadn’t had that exposure we would’ve come to the same conclusion a few answers into your app. You bring a magnifying lens to the subtle points in Jeremy’s personality, leaving no stone unturned. Also, you ask all the right questions that arise from the snapshot of him that we gave in the bio, which tells us that you’re ready to explore his character in all the creative directions that we’d hope to see - and that we can’t wait to read on the dash!

Sally, thank you very much for applying. As for Jeremy…

               ⚜ ~ WELCOME TO VIEUX NOYÉS!!! ~ ⚜

Wondering what to do next? Click here and let the good times roll!

⚜ Roleplayer:

⤜ Name/alias: Sally ⤜ Pronouns: She/Her ⤜ Age: 24 ⤜ Timezone: CST ⤜ Activity:  I’ve been pretty consistent with Malia so far, I’d say maybe a 7?!?! I have a lot of school work to do because it’s my last semester so I really shouldn’t be thinking about another character to be perfectly honest. But Jeremy’s bio s p e a k s to me and I think that I could keep up a good and balanced activity level with him along with Malia. I’ve wanted a second character for a while it’s just been a matter of finding the right fit and getting Malia to a place where I felt comfortable picking up a new character. Because as you guys know I’m obsessed with her and I didn’t want to take any mental time away from her. But now I think that I am ready, also again, I can’t ignore Jeremy’s bio and how much interest I’ve garnered in playing him. ⤜ Best form of contact: Through my Malia account works fabulously. I would make Jeremy a secondary account on my Malia account if that’s alright with you guys/if I get accepted. ⤜ Any Triggers? No triggers. ⤜ How did you find Vieux Noyés?  Originally I found it through a recommendation by Kelly! ⤜ What drew you to the RP? Lolz, could gush forever. But you guys run such an amazing place. The intricacy of the the bios though, coupled with your leadership skills and all the fun exciting events we get to do. It’s just fantastic. I love it ⤜ What is one subplot/element from the Plot page that you are particularly looking forward to seeing in this roleplay? I can’t wait to see what happens with the harvest coming down the hatch. Also just generally all the changes and developments that each character will get a chance to grapple with.

⚜ Desired Character: Jeremy Gilbert

⤜ Why do you want this character? 

I want this character because I apparently love characters who are children with dead parents. JUST KIDDING. I thought it was funny that both characters that caught my attention had that in common. But no, I really want this character for a multitude of reasons. For one, I love the connections that Jeremy has. I love that he has his drug friends. I love that he has the Salvatore brothers breathing down his neck in the facet of, oh you’re Elena’s little brother so I must protect you, but oh also Jeremy knows that you two are vampires now who follow my big sister around and who I blame for killing Vicki Donovan (as if Jeremy needs a reason to dislike people). But that’s just a few the dynamics I love. I also love that he’s into drugs and substance abuse. I think that that is going to be a bit difficult to write, but I’m interested in the challenge that writing a drugged up or drunk character can present. I love the tiny details in this bio and just SING to me. For example, his blacklist? Like where does he keep this blacklist in his room and like how does he know when to add to it? Also what does he mean to do with it? LOVE IT. Also, I love that he draws, but shhh not anymore bc no, can’t give any of the people who want to ‘help’ him in his life something to hang there hat on. But lastly, I love the person that he is. I love this sad boy nature he has that is so stubbornly engrained in him. I feel like, if he doesn’t cling to this anger and sadness, then he’ll feel that he’s doing wrong by his parents passing. Especially since the beginning of his bio has this push and pull about how life moved so fast beyond their passing and how the people of Mystic Falls could so easily move past their memory. I think that driving force in him is SO powerful and one that he has yet to talk about with anyone because he is locked that part of himself away. There’s so many things I love you guys. This bio amaze balls. ALSO NOT TO MENTION THAT HE’S RECENTLY FOUND OUT ABOUT VAMPIRES. THAT’S HUGE. LOVE IT.   

⤜ What are your future plans for this character?

As far as where I see Jeremy going within this rp, just because of the fact that he is so stubborn and angry at the world, I think that gives him a huge amount of potential for growth. I think Jeremy is going to have to find something in this NOLA world that means something to him. Obviously you’ve got the doppleganger, Elena, Klaus situation happening that he doesn’t know about yet. You’ve also got him interested in weapons. I think that the weapons aspect of it is going to become a real serious thing for him as he starts uncovering the veil of the super natural despite the fact that he doesn’t want to. Jeremy finding access to these weapons and also maybe finding mentors to help him use them, will give him a way to feel like he is doing his part in avenging deaths of innocent people. Vicki Donovan being one of them obviously, in regards specifically to vampires. I think that will be a way for Jeremy to channel his sadness and guilt over his parents passing into a more healthy and productive manner. He’ll be able to satiate his anger in a way. While I think its harder to pull from him just yet, Jeremy does /really/ care about Jenna and Elena. So I think that their being in danger at any point will present moments for him where he will have to release real emotion. I think the rp generally will push him to feel that sense of responsibility in very real ways, which will inevitably develop his connections and understanding of the world. You’ve also got his connection to Sabine and her drugs causing him hallucinations, along with his realization of the super natural world. Obviously learning about the super natural world is going to force him to grow in new ways and despite the fact that he is staunchly against learning about it or knowing about it, it’ll become a reality for him either which way.   

⤜ Put yourself in your character’s shoes. Give us a few lines to describe a day in the life of your character... Where do they live? Where and how do they spend their time? 

I see a day in the life of Jeremy Gilbert as him sleeping in till about ten, maybe noon on a good day. I would imagine that Jenna would try to get him to go to school. It’s possible that she gets him out of bed but if that is the case then he blows right past her out of the house and gets into his car. On a general basis Jenna probably won’t see him until he shows back up in the house, in which case he’s likely to go back up to his room and lock the door so as to avoid fielding any kind of annoying conversations about his whereabouts and such. When he is out of the house, I think he’s looking into archaic weaponry. Jeremy likes to remain in this facade of not caring about anything or anyone. But I think he does have intellectual interests that are currently being geared towards how to protect him and the people he loves from super naturals as a human. But if he was pursuing that interest, it would be a particularly good day for him. Because other than that I think he’s trolling the Quarter for a good laugh or a good party. Of course, before he does any of that he’ll get himself a good little high off a perfectly rolled joint of which he took great pride in creating. If anyone questions him or looks at him funny, depending on his mood, he may be inclined to start a fight, especially if your name is Tyler Lockwood. On the more rare occasions that Jeremy does make it to school, he is likely under the influence there as well as it’s the only thing that would get him through that. Though Jeremy’s tolerance would be high enough at this point that he’s able to handle himself well enough. Of course, he wouldn’t use the hallucinogenic drugs that Sabine provides him with on these particular days. At school, unless provoked I think he just rides under the radar with a few unnamed stoner buddies he gets along with. If he does get provoked for any reason, Jeremy will be inclined to start a fight and not back down. He has a lot of aggression to get out and has no problem doing it to someone who decides to step in his way. Although, I don’t think Jeremy would hit a girl. I don’t think that Jeremy has ever experienced any consequences that have been too intense, or at least more intense than Vicki’s death or his parents. So I think because of that it’s become easy for him to rationalize such rash behavior. I think that because Jeremy is able to shirk so much responsibility, he’s also able to go out on any night he pleases, which he does please to do. Going out and partying allows him to will his entire world away with such ease. Often times I think he finds himself rolling (no pun intended) with Josh and Sabine. Though he’s just starting to question this motley crew due to the fact that Josh is less affected by substances and Sabine’s substances take him to a whole other level. But because I think in the back of his head he knows the answers will lead him to places he doesn’t want to go, he’s also subduing some of that curiosity in a way. Finally, somehow someway, most nights, he makes it back to his own bed when he passes out and repeats till the next day. The boy rarely goes to sleep without toking up first, and never wakes up without a good baking.

⤜ Give us three headcanons regarding your character of choice. (If your character is from one of the tv shows, please come up with a headcanon that is not explicitly stated on the show, but is rather based on your own imagination.)

So this list! So I think Jeremy first made this list immediately after what happened with Vicki Donovan. I think he was not sobered, but obviously very 'sobered up’ by what he’d witnessed. The images were just flashing through his head, all the horrors that he learned about seeming to come to life before his literal eyes. And he knew it wasn’t Sabine’s drugs in this case too. But the second he was all alone, his mind would’ve just been racing with such anger and fear. I think he pulled out a piece of paper and pen and began to write out this list of people, Damon at the top, then Stefan, then Tyler. I think this list made him feel slightly better, like he had /some/ control over the shit that goes on in his life, or could have control over it. And I think this list works in conjunction with his new found affinity for weaponry. Again, him needing to find a teeny bit of control.

 I don’t think Jeremy has completely given up on drawing. I imagine that he doodles to his hearts content in class, hood up, arms covering up the work. It’s very personal to him and something he wants to keep a secret. Think it would be cool to have someone accidentally discover his doodle notebook one day. 

Jeremy loves coffee. He is coffee connoisseur and enjoys trying all the different drinks the town has to offer in regards to it. I think he runs on coffee and drugs every day, sometimes staying up into all hours of the night. If he gets really inspired he might’ve even go on a drawing spree, though you can be sure the drawings will be kept well hidden away from Elena and Jenna. 

⤜ What are some plots you'd like to explore with your characater?

Plots that I’d like to explore with this character–so many. His new found affinity for weapons and how that might connect with the Argents. Already Allison has noticed his interest in weapons, so building off of that will be super interesting.His connection with Bonnie and how that will allow him to grow and develop since she has a specific little hold on him that he can’t seem to shake in regards to being just a tad bit more open. I want to see where Matt and Jeremy go. I think that the two of them have the potential to develop in similar ways. Which could allow them to befriend one another in this mission I see him having of wanting to protect those who can’t protect themselves.I’d love for someone to find his doodle notebook. I’d love to see what happens when people try to discipline him, or tell him that he is immature and childish (which he obvi is).I’d love to see how his and Sabine’s friendship progresses and how that pushes him to break more into the super natural worldI think Jeremy also has an affinity for beautiful women, of which there are an abundance of in NOLA. I could see him developing a flirtation with any number of women, at least those who find his immaturity tolerable. 

⤜ Para sample: 

(Retained for privacy.)

⤜ Would you like to be considered for another character if not accepted as your primary choice? Nope, I’d love to play Jeremy though. And If you guys need more from me, I would love love love to know about it so I can get on a page with you guys about how you see Jeremy. If I differ from your ideas or haven’t built enough on certain aspects of him, I’d love to do more work in that regard because I already LOVE THE INSIDE OF HIS HEAD.   

⤜ Have you read the rules?: I have read the rules!   

⤜ Anything else?  Oh man, so many other things I’d like to say that I haven’t already, but I think I’ll leave it there for now. Again, if there’s anything you’d like to discuss with me beyond what’s here I would love to talk about because eeeee I’d really really love to get a chance to bring him to life on the dash!

[just-seheun]

bye 2017, hey 2018

I feel like I always get around to writing an end of the year post on tumblr even if i never really even get to use this site during the year.

well I guess it’s that time of the year (or new year I should say) where I try and look back as well as look forward.

let’s see what happened in 2017...

- let’s say, for one, ‘Murica as a whole kinda went through a lot of bullshit (still is honestly) - we’re getting rid of DACA, the tax cut bill was passed (holla @ the rich 10% and say bye to the other 90%), we’re slowly trying to get rid of/fuck up the EPA despite climate change being very real (if category 4-5 hurricanes occurring back to back is what we’d call “real”), and ya know just the firing of members of the HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention council in the government - to name a few (not to mention, continued police brutality, racial discrimination/injustice (tbh just racism as a whole), and dumb ass fucking people who - ugh 

well, moving on to maybe more lighthearted moments...

- I tried to infiltrate the Asian community a little more with (mixed, mostly unsuccessful) efforts. Idk man I tried. I think I did make stronger relationships with the Asian friends I started out with so, I think that’s definitely a major plus. (*insert thumbs up here*)

- also, kinda along with that one, I think I dived into more adventurous food/hangout spots in terms of finding kinda Asian hubs and places I vibe with (an accomplishment of last year too that I think worked and flourished even more in 2017). 

- Kind of cooled down with the whole going out scene. I still go out occasionally and have a pretty good time but it’s definitely dwindled down. We definitely started the year going out more but like I said, definitely calmed down a lot. 

- Went to my first Terp Thon FTK! Started my TTPT journey with the 1 million dollar year - pretty crazy and amazing. It was truly and unreal experience for all those kids and wouldn’t have changed it for anything. Super sad I won’t be there for Terp Thon 2018 though. 

- oh! successfully (kinda) resurrected my GPA from a sad 2.7 (result of getting a 1.7 from failing calc2 and getting a D in bio) to a nice and solid 3.23 which I am tbh very proud of. A 3.8 and 3.88 (technically straight As - woo hooooo) these last two semesters - yay! Just also improving in school as a whole. I’m really starting to enjoy what I’m doing. yeah, spring ‘17 sem was more chill and fall ‘17 sem was more like hell but, overall I’m pretty excited about the work and studies I get to do. (like hell as in 3 2900-3200-word papers in the span of like 2 weeks) 

- Another academic thing, I added Art History (officially) as a Double Major which probably means a winter term here or there but still very exciting. I also feel like I’ve really learned a lot about the fundamentals of art history that I really felt like I was missing this whole time. Just like the basic timeline of movements and key artists from Burgundian Netherlands to Venice to Rococo to Realism to Cubism (and all its various forms) to Der Blauer Reiter to Contemporary and everything in between. All cool stuff - definitely makes you pay attention more to dates and stuff when visiting galleries and museums and just makes me feel more in the know if nothing else. 

- Again, another academic thing, I’m officially in the English Honors Program - woo hoo! This does, however, mean I’ll be writing a 25-page thesis but honestly it’ll be fine, I’m fine, it’s all fine... I mean I don’t really know what I’m gonna write about and I have to skype my professor for like 2 months in the summer but hey, it’s all good and if it’s not I’ll just figure it out (*insert nervous sheepish grin here*)

- Kind of started the process of cutting off 아빠 which take that with a grain of salt. It’s a mess tbh, I don’t even know what to say honestly. 

- Finally left Slaveway for good. It really tbh started becoming too much of a risk and just uncomfortable for me to stay. Not an awful job (despite the shit customers a lot of the time) but I just couldn’t stay longer.

- I feel like there was also definitely a more solidifying of sustained relationships and a distancing in others. I don’t know definitely still a lot just up in the air and a lot of familiar faces but a lot of new things and stronger bonds in 2017. 

(now, post looking at my snapchat memories from the year and realizing how much shit I did this year... lol)

- I went to 2 concerts (kinda); one being 2 Chainz and all of the many acts that came before him at Art Attack 2017 and the other being Khalid’s bomb American Teen Tour concert at the Filmore that I initially just went to because Sam wanted to go and Anh had an extra ticket that ended up being real lit. 

- Had like a little fame after writing an Odyssey Online article about Moco which was kinda cool and kinda ridiculous lol. I also just stopped writing for them all together after like less than one sem rip. 

- Also realizing I went to a lot of really cool exhibits and art-related things this past year which I’m really happy about actually. Yayoi Kusama’s exhibit was crazy amazing and well worth the wait. Artec house was really cool and just visiting the NGA, the PMA, the Hirshorn, the Freer/Sackler with a fresh and more knowledgeable outlook was really nice. Also starting those solo museum trips during the sem was really nice no matter how short-lived they were. 

Honestly this year was very different from 2016 in many many ways. I think there’s been a lot more growth in this past year but I and the community around me definitely went through a lot. 

- Something I realized this past year in unfortunate circumstances, was the prevalence of loss and losing individuals close to your community. I never thought things like death, loss, grief, and suicide were things that I would ever come across (let alone, this often) at this age. We really did lose a lot of young lives that were filled with so much potential and hope this past year especially in this community, including an old classmate. Things that we always thought to be intangible and far away landed right in front of us and I don’t think a lot of us including myself still know how to grasp all of that. It’s hard to see the people around you, the ones you grew up with and always had by your side whether you knew them well or not, lead such a tragic fate. This year made us think about mental health more and more. You realize in the most unfortunate circumstances that everyone has there own demons that they’re fighting. No one is free from them. Even in regards to Jonghyun, it affects everyone in the darkest of ways. 

This past year really made me think more about how fragile life truly is. I’ve dealt with and still deal with my own demons and the dark thoughts of my past and truly wonder especially in light of all the tragic events from this past year, what things would be like. It would be a lie if I said that they didn’t make me wonder about past thoughts of my own more. 

I think it’s sad to think that even as I wonder about all this, I still feel empty about it in the midst of being unable to process it all. I feel like in a way, whether as a result from school distracting me and my own self protecting or shielding itself, I’ve grown numb. I feel like my own mind is trying to avoid emotions at all cost in a way that’s pushing away emotion and problems by just not dealing with them (which by no means is the right way to deal with things at all bc you’re not dealing with anything). I don’t know, I guess I’m getting by and I’m not as broody as I was in the past but I wouldn’t say I’ve improved, I’ve just kind of paused in a way I guess. 

I want to end this post with a brighter look toward the future though. I think 2018 has a lot of potential waiting to happen with lots of things to look forward to that I think should be highlighted in this post. After all, a new year means moving forward, not burying your past necessarily but, using the past to cast light on the future. 

So with that, things to look forward to in 2018...

- First things first, STUDY ABROAD IN ROME for Spring ‘18 sem! I mean it doesn’t get more exciting and new than this honestly. Yes, I am super stressed and there’s so much stuff to do besides the fact that I’m paranoid and don’t know what to expect at all. I’ve never traveled abroad in my life, let alone lived away from home (ever) so this is just gonna be absolutely nuts tbh. I have lots of hopes though. Do I want a fairytale, movie-like experience? Lowkey, of course. But I also try to be a harsh realist when I can so, we’re staying generally tame about our study abroad fantasies lol. Still, I’m hoping this will be a chance to make new friends and hopefully make some of them in my art history classes as well as in the school in general. It’s been a hard few years in the whole making friends department seeing as how all my past roommates are very antisocial. Yes, I myself am also very much like this but that doesn’t mean my internal self doesn’t want a lot of friends lol. I’m excited to take a class with Evelyn and just experience the city while hopefully staying safe and smart. It’ll be a crazy and hopefully amazing semester with a lot of travel and just a lot of fun before my senior year. I could go on and on about all my thoughts and hopes for this coming semester but, I’ll just leave it at that (your girl really needs to sort her life out/figure out what to pack/pack/schedule the rest of my home excursions/get her documents together/everything else. Bottom line: we’re a mess lol.

- Hopefully a summer internship. Forreal forreal like actually. Your girl was stuck at safeway again this past year and we’re not having that shit again. Nope nuh-uh, not happening. Not this year mm mm, no. We’re gonna find one. We have to - it’s gonna happen. Trust and believe. Trust and believe! 

- Also turning 21 this year (although, this probs won’t be exciting seeing as how I’ll be legal all semester while I’m abroad, then come home and be nonlegal for another like 2 months and then be legal again). Look, I’m just looking forward to getting mimosas and going to bars without memorizing random identity information from Illinois. 

- Also 2018 is really gonna be a year for me to REALLY think about me. In all contexts, really. Academically; figuring out what it is I really want from my education and working toward making the most out of it, finding a real path for myself in terms of grad school and other things school-related. Lifewise; gauging how I’m going to continue my life. Graduation is coming faster than I can think and by this time next year, I’ll be gearing up for my last semester as an undergrad. That is so wild. 2018 is really gonna be me trying to buckle down, I suppose. Trying to cloud out my peers and their success/failures/paths and really try to hone in on myself. It’ll be a challenge but we’ve got to start somewhere, right?

All in all a lot was thrown onto the table in 2017 in a lot of different ways. It’s been a different kind of roller-coaster with much much more to come after this year (my favorite number year really, 2017). 2018 will be a test of time and one of the biggest challenges but, also hopefully a year with a lot of hope and potential for success. Wishing everyone the brightest new year with health, opportunities, growth, and burgeoning happiness! Cheers to all 2018 has to offer all of us and to all the things 2017 gave us!