#sternutatory

[accidentalmistress]

Accidental Mistress - Induce or Not?

Today's release is some light, sneezy fun with Oraion as the viewpoint character. Not gonna have a lot of preamble with this one, let's just get to it!

For more Accidental Mistress content, check the Master Post.

Title: Induce or Not?

Word Count: 2,019

Content and Warnings: snz (male), some light mess

In which Oraion, being exceedingly bored, decides to engage in a little sternutatory experimentation...

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Even when he wasn’t trying to tease or rile up the young witch to whom he was bound, the demon Oraion enjoyed experimenting with different ways to make himself sneeze. As an immortal being, he had reached a point in his life where an ever-dwindling number of things held novelty, so being presented with the newfound ability to sneeze was almost like being handed a new toy. The fact that sneezing was the primary method the incubus utilized in seducing his Mistress led him to form a strong connection between the reflex and feeding, which added an entire new layer of enjoyment to his experimentations.

He liked to call the game “Induce or Not?” and had thus far found that, to no great surprise, there were quite a lot of things in the ‘Induce’ category. Feathers, blades of grass, a bristle from Noelle’s broom, laundry soap, woodsmoke, looking at bright light, and a wide variety of aromatic spices were among the things that he’d tested and found to be effective to one degree or another.

To his surprise, he did not seem to be allergic to cats, as he and Noelle had discovered when they encountered a friendly, gray stray on a recent trip to town for supplies. He’d even gone so far as to shove his face into the animal’s fur when Noelle wasn’t looking, the only result being a few unpleasant hairs in his mouth. Horses, on the other hand, gave him a peculiar, low-level itch in his throat and sinuses that didn’t really get him sneezing so much as it made him cough and turned his nose into a sniffly, leaky mess.

One afternoon he lay in his bed with his hands clasped behind his head, staring up at the ceiling of his room as though it were an oracle that might dispense some wisdom toward alleviating his boredom, when he suddenly remembered his little game.

“That’s one way to pass the time…” he muttered.

Now, the only question was what to play with? Noelle was currently sequestered in the cellar, tending to her precious mooncaps. She'd been cultivating them for some weeks now and had expanded to several trays of maturing mushrooms. Once they were ripe, she said, she would take some to town and see if she could get a good price for them. He couldn’t begrudge her trying to make a living, of course, but he did find it a little sad that he was so bored as to be envious of a fungus for monopolizing his Mistress’s attention.

He supposed he could head down to her worktable and rifle through her magical reagents to see if there was anything interesting. He’d been meaning to check if she had any pixie dust—mundane dust did quite the number on him in sufficient quantities, it turned out, and he was rather curious what the fae variety might do. Although, he may want to try that outside or near a window—some source of fresh air—given what had happened with the dust incident in the library. Oraion turned toward the window, watching rivulets drip down the glass as fat raindrops struck it with a light staccato rhythm. Maybe today wasn’t the day for outdoor experimentation.

Another idea dead before fruition. A frustrated lash of his tail caused the crimson tuft of fur at the end to whip briefly into view. He froze, gears turning in his head, before he curled his tail back up into the air over the bed and waggled the end to and fro. The fur was long and silky—almost feathery.

That was something he hadn’t tried.

As he reached out and ran his fingertips through the fur, a chuckle rose to his lips. There was something a bit masturbatory about trying to induce with his own tail. The hairs were quite fine and soft. In fact, he worried they were too soft: he wouldn’t be able to insert them very far up his nostrils if they weren’t stiff enough. He placed his other hand on his chin and considered, and before long a smirk tugged his lips as inspiration struck. This would be fun, and it would add another layer of challenge as well.

A little secret he had yet to tell Noelle was the trick behind how he conjured things with a snap of his fingers, like his handkerchief. The truth was, he wasn’t conjuring anything at all. Conjuration implied the ability to create things from thin air, which was not something he was capable of. What he was actually doing was summoning—the handkerchief already existed, so all he did was call it to his hand. Still no mean feat, and quite the handy skill to have. It was especially effective on items one owned and was familiar with, so it was easy enough for Oraion to lift his arms above his head, snap his fingers, and have a set of restraints appear on his wrists. Supple brown leather hugged his skin while brass clasps secured his arms together. It was a little difficult to secure them to the bedframe, but through some magical manipulation he managed to rig up a summoned length of rope securely enough to do the trick.

A slightly nervous thrill ran in his veins, as it often did when he was about to induce, and he took a deep breath. Slowly he lowered his tail until the fringe of fur was just brushing the tip of his nose.

“Mmnh…”

His nose scrunched up almost immediately, but the light tickle that resulted was not enough to accomplish much. It might get him itchy and hitchy, which had its own benefits—especially for teasing Noelle. Still, it was a bit early to tell. He tried swaying the end of his tail from side to side and was rewarded with a prickling just inside his nostrils.

“Now we’re getting somewhere…”

He wriggled his nose and sniffed lightly to encourage the tickle, continuing to sweep his tail across his nose in slow strokes that dragged the silky hairs across his nostrils and septum. His breathing started to get a touch unsteady, his chest rising and falling faster as his breaths grew deeper. On the right track, but still not enough to push him over the edge.

During feedings, sometimes Noelle would flutter a feather against the tip of his nose, so he tried to replicate the sensation with his tail, flicking it rapidly back and forth. He could feel his nose start to run as the buzzing tickle spread.

“Snff-snuff- … heh…. heh… haah, damn it…”

Almost, but he lost it at the last moment. He could just barely see the tip of his nose turning pink. He was getting close. Gods, it almost felt like edging.

He kept at it, varying the direction and speed of the strokes across his nose. His wrists tensed against the restraints. Though the itch had spread from his nares back near to the bridge, he still couldn’t get a sneeze out. He never imagined inducing could be quite so vexing, given his usual sensitivity.

“... hiih… -snf- mnhh… ih-heh-! … Oh, come on.”

Not to mention his sinuses were rather saturated from all of the irritation with no relief. The way it dripped back into his throat grew unpleasant, so he sniffed in as hard as he could in an attempt to clear it. It just so happened this was also at the precise moment and angle for several strands of tail fur to be drawn deep into his nares. 

“Nngh-! ih-hiihh-hhiiHH! heh… heh… HEH… HEHH’TCHUU! haah… ah-heh-... aah… AH… AHESSHHIU!”

Well, that worked. He could feel the hairs poking the ticklish spot just in front of where the bone ended in his nose. Finally—it felt practically orgasmic to sneeze after so much tickling and teasing. He left his tail in place for a few more sneezes before pulling it back, then he wriggled his nose back and forth and squinched it up and down to assuage some of the lingering tickle.

“Hmhm, I’d say that was a- w-was a- eh-heh- HEH! HEHSHHIUH! heh-SHIU! Nguuh… -snnff- Oh gods, it’s stuh-still so tiiiHHhckly-! iihhhHIIhhh! hhiihHHIITCHIEW!”

Perhaps he’d gone a little too far. The prickling, tickling itch in his sinuses kept on as though something was still poking that sensitive spot. His chest bobbed erratically with frantic, helpless hitches, each sneeze more desperate than the last. With mounting concern he tried to get a hold on himself, but he could hardly think, he was sneezing so much. In desperation he pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth as hard as he could, which managed to stave off the next sneeze from being immediately on the heels of the last. It wouldn’t last long, though, he was already hitching and building up again.

However it was long enough to allow him a moment’s concentration, and he snapped his fingers. The restraints around his wrists vanished and Oraion sat up just as the next outburst overcame him. He grabbed the still-tingling appendage between a thumb and forefinger and squeezed, rubbing it up and down. At last the cause of his prolonged fit became clear when he felt something thin and silky sticking out of his right nostril: one of his tail hairs, shed from his tail and stuck inside his nose.

He drew the offending irritant out with a slippery tickle that triggered one final, powerful sneeze. He held up the crimson hair, covered in a slick coating of mess, and sighed. With another snap of his fingers he summoned his handkerchief and finally blew some of the miserable wetness out of his sinuses.

“Well, that was… a thing. -snnrff-”

As he sat there trying to catch his breath, there was a tentative knock at his door.

“Oraion? Are you in there?”

The demon smirked. Of course Noelle must have heard him, even in the cellar. He jumped up from the bed and ran a hand through his long, crimson hair before he answered the door. Though he didn’t bother to put on a shirt.

There stood Noelle, looking rather domestic with an apron on over her blouse and skirt. After Quinns had chided her for wiping dirt on her clothes while tending her mushrooms, Noelle had found an apron to wear. Oraion had to admit, it was a rather charming look.

“Oh, did something happen? Are you all right?”

Ah, right. He probably looked terrible, red-nosed and bleary eyed. He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to laugh it off.

“Oh, no, I’m fine. Something just set off my allergies. -snf- It happens. Often.”

Noelle wrung her hands with an uncomfortable look, and Oraion bit back a sigh. His allergic sensitivity was bestowed by their contract, tied to her sexual desires, and that fact continued to be a source of guilt for her. He wished she would let it go, but no matter how often he reassured her that he didn’t mind it, it didn’t seem to convince her.

“I-I see. Um, is there anything I can do for you? Oh! I know: I’ll make you some yarrow tea!”

“Hm, that would be lovely, but there is one other thing you could do for me first…”

The prospect of being useful seemed to perk her right up.

“Oh? What is it?”

With as sensitive as his nose was still feeling, this shouldn’t take long. He grinned and leaned in, snaking an arm around her waist to pull her close. He placed a deep kiss on her soft lips before giving her nose a quick nuzzle with his own. The ensuing blush on her face, the wide eyes and slightly parted lips, equal parts flustered surprise and burgeoning desire—oh, the satisfaction he derived from being the cause of such sweet expression.

“It’s such a miserable, dreary day, Mistress, and I’ve been terribly bored. Now I find myself feeling a bit peckish, so, if you’re amenable, I thought perhaps we could have a quick snack. And you know, while we’re at it, I’d like to introduce you to a rather interesting little game I've come up with…”

[bigsnzstanacct]

Oooo you’ve been busy today! I adore your fics, especially the desperate buildups. Could you maybe write a guy who’s just mortified by his big sneezes and he’s trying so hard to hold back and muffle the force and finally he can’t hold back any longer and he’s super embarrassed?

Thank you!! And hmmmm… right now I’m only doing shorter fic-lets and image posts but let me see if I can fit that scenario into an image post…

“Oh.” I said, stumbling in on him as he quickly grabbed the hat out of his hand to hold in front of his, ahem, private parts. “I’m so sorry, I’ll go I just…“ I spun on my heel once to leave and then, remembering this was, after all, my house that my (very attractive) acquaintance was naked in, while the rest of the guests were out enjoying the pool and the garden, I spun back on my heel again to ask, “wait but uh… what are you… why are you…”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” He exclaimed, eyes almost shining—had he been crying? “I just… I had to get in-inside, um… them tr-trees you got out there… uh… snf!” He spoke haltingly, a smooth Southern accent creeping into his tone. I knew he was from the South, somewhere pretty country if memory served but I’d never heard his accent come out so strongly before. They’re p-pollinating and it was startin’ to set off my a-aller…” he stopped at that word, and his hand flew up to his nose… the hand that just so happened to be holding his cowboy hat. Now he stood, fully exposed, obviously mortified and yet… he didn’t seem focused on his (generous) exposure at all. He seemed focused on his… nose?

“Oh god… n-not now… d-don’t embarrass me like this!” He cursed at… himself?

“Wait, who’s embarrassing… what?”

He tried to answer my question, though his attention seemed torn, “No it’s just… my allergies… thahhhh… that tree I… and I was c-covered in the pollen and I’ve been h-holding back this whole party and you’re so cute I didn’t want to leehhhh… leeeahhHHHHH… l-leave…”

Wait? I was… what? And he was… what? And why was there suddenly a breeze indoors…? Had I left the patio doors open or…?

He scrubbed viciously at his nose, pinched it and rubbed it, muttering under his breath, like he was pleading with it. “Cmon… cmon… I took my clothes off, the pollen’s not on me, why’re you still d-doing thiihhh… fuck… t-tickles so bahhh… bad…” After a moment he seemed to hold his breath and then his countenance cleared, his face, previously an itchy rictus of sternutatory urge smoothed.

“I’m sorry I… I gotta get outta here, it was just… that pollen was gettin’ to me so bad and I started to give in and I barely managed to stifle it back and I was still so damn loud, nearly blew my face off…”

Wait was that… was that explosion-like sound that had prompted me to come back into the house… was that…

“That was a sneeze?!”

“Aw, fuck, p-please d-don’t… d-don’t say it, just makes me h-hafta… haftaaaaahhHHHHH… hhhooohboy… g-gonna… gonna be a d-doozy…” Again, his eyes—wet, I realized, with allergic rather than emotional tears—began to drift closed, his nose bucking like a bronco as he tried to wrestle it down with both hands now, naked in my kitchen in what seemed to be a life or death struggle not to… sneeze?

“But what’s the big deal about sneezing I don’t understand—“

“You don’t underst-stand! L-look I gotta get outta here, do you have some c-clothes I wear, a c-coat, anything, mine were just c-covered in that danged p-pollen and I… I don’t think… I c-can’t hold it b-back much longer…!”

“I mean I can get you a coat but you know you can sneeze in my house… it’s not a big deal…”

“Please! Just help me gehhhhh… get outta h-hehhHHHH… outta here I… I can’t… oh god…”

I was confused as hell but he was so insistent I did as I was asked, hurrying to the coat closet, brushing against him—I wasn’t trying to cop a feel, I swear!—as I hurried to the closet. But just as I went past him…

“Oh no… oh no! You’re c-cuhhhHHHH… c-covered in it… I can’t… I c-caaaahHHHHHHHHH… I…” His brows were desperately knotted, his whole face seemingly opening and going back and back and back even as his head went back and back and his shoulders seemed to expand and his chest seemed to expand and then… a picture was pulled from the wall, a chair toppled and I realized—oh shit.

I turned on my heel for the third time. He was clearly about to give in and if this sneeze was going to be as big a deal as he was making it out to be, he definitely couldn’t sneeze the way he was pointing now, out towards the party full of people and the glass windows that would surely shatter. But if he spun around at this point he’d blast me point blank. So I had to get in front of him, spin him around…

“Okay buddy, just give me a few more seconds on that… whatever’s happening.”

“I ggaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHH… I g-GOTTA! HhehehHHHHHHHH… HHEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH…”

I managed to race back around, get him pointed the right way—albeit towards the rest of my house, which if the breeze so far was any indication would need some major renovations when this was said and done—and knowing that being so close to my pollen-dusted clothes couldn’t be helping him, I told him to let go.

“It’s okay man, let it go. Fire at will!” I joked, doing my best to make light of an unexpectedly dramatic situation. And fire he did.

“HHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCCCCCHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

He exploded. Like a bomb, like a volcano, like a… like a wind volcano bomb hurricane thing, it was ridiculous, it blasted through my house, exploded the front door right off its hinges, sent photos and decorations and furniture flying. I was glad the house was built so sturdy, or I’d be worried for the structural integrity of the whole building. Eventually the eruption died down. And as he sat there panting, I figured I’d better get this very attractive, very naked man somewhere where the attention he’d just drawn to himself would be less mortifying.

I quickly shucked my own clothes down to my undergarments as I herded him into my bedroom, which was miraculously intact, aside from a few holes in the drywall that must’ve been caused by just the backdraft of his eruption. And all the while he was ceaselessly, miserably, desperately apologizing.

“Oh god… oh god… oh god ‘m so sorry, I woulda never come if I’d known I’da got set off like that, oh please forgive me, I tried so hard.”

At last I got him into my bedroom, hoping that as few people as possible saw us both shuffling off half naked.

“Hey dude, dude it’s okay, whatever that was I don’t think you could control it. I’m pretty sure I’m insured for freak weather events and acts of god and whatever I just saw it was one or the other so…”

He was standing there, crying, tears leaking down his face—now definitely of the emotional variety. I sat him down on my bed, and wrapped an arm around him—as much as I could, his frame was massive.

“Damn allergies, I just can’t… I can’t control ‘em, I always try but my nose…!”

“Aw, there there.” Was all I could say, or at least all I should say, but my mouth proved as uncontrollable as his nose, “listen I don’t love the circumstances but anything that involves a beautiful naked man in my bedroom can’t be all ba—“ I squeaked as my brain caught up to my mouth, but maybe it was the right thing to say after all, as he chuckled softly.

“I uh… I can’t say I didn’t have a little hope for a situation like this myself just… without my damn nose ruining everything again. I’m so sorry, anything I can do to help put things right it’s just… my whole family’s like this nobody knows why it’s this damn cursed sneezin’ and I got it worst of all but I’m still the dummy who said I had to go into the city, live a life, not let myself be defined by my sneezes. Now look. I shoulda just stayed out on the farm where all I could hurt was the trees.”

“Hey, we’ll figure it out, okay? Speaking of which… no tickle left in that nose of yours, is there? No more gunpowder to set off the cannon?”

He sniffed experimentally. “I think I’m good. At least for now. I can’t go back out there though, not after what I did, and that tree…”

“You just stay here. I think the party’s over—and that’s fine,” I hastened to add, as he looked stricken and miserable again. “I’ll start looking at cleanup, get everybody out… feel free to grab some clothes out of the closet over there, unless you just wanna stay how you are, I gotta be honest I have no complaints about that… sorry, sorry forget I said that wow look at me babbling… anyway uh… clothes.” I said, ineffectually pointing towards the closet. “I‘ll just be going!” I said, looking anywhere but at him, after I’d embarrassed myself so absolutely. But I couldn’t help but turn around and take one last look…

And I was surprised to see him smiling. “You’re funny. And I meant what I said; you’re very cute. And you’ve been… ridiculously nice about this, I mean I just blew up half your house, I’m sure you’ll hate me once you come to your senses I—“

“Hey! Enough of that!” I said, “one thing you’ll quickly learn about me, I never come to my senses. And like I said, you couldn’t control it. And you clearly tried your best.” I surprised even myself with how cool I was about the whole situation. I mean it was gonna be a huge headache eventually but… for the moment I didn’t mind. “Now, clothes for you, guests for me.” I said with a smile, finally heading towards the door.

And then I froze. And spun on my heel one last time. “But wait! Stay far far FAR away from the fragrance drawer!”

I was rewarded with a watery chuckle. “Will do, absolutely will do.”

[nem0c]

Organic matter was obviously governed by the same involuntary impulses as those which turn the flower of the heliotrope to face the sun (a fact which is easily to be explained by a few simple laws of physics and thermochemistry). The order of the universe could at last be hailed as reassuringly benign. In all the motions of life, however surprising, a perfect obedience to the agent could be universally recognised.

With the purpose of wringing from the helpless animal the acknowledgement of its own simplicity, Anthime Armand-Dubois had just invented a complicated system of boxes - boxes with passages, boxes with trap-doors, boxes with labyrinths, boxes with compartments (some with food in them, some with nothing, some sprinkled with a sternutatory powder), boxes with doors of different shapes and colours - diabolical instruments, which a little later became the rage in Germany under the name of Vexierkasten, and were of the greatest use in helping the new school of psychophysiologists to take another step forward in the path of unbelief. And in order to act severally on or other of the animal’s senses, on one or other portion of its brain, he blinded some, deafened others, emasculated, skinned, or brained them, depriving them of one organ after another, which you would have sworn indispensable, but which the animal, for Anthime’s better instruction, did without.

André Gide, The Vatican Cellars

[bagdyernoke]

The Poop of the Pious — The POOP Project

The Dalai Lama can stave off trauma: “Rosinus Lentilius, in the Ephemeridum Physico-Medicorum, Leipsig, 1694, speaks of he Grand Lama of Thibet as held in such high veneration by the devotees of his faith that his excrements, carefully collected, dried, powdered, and sold at high prices by the priests, were used as a sternutatory powder, to induce sneezing, and as a condiment for their food, and as a remedy for all the graver forms of disease.”

A hundred years ago, rumors that the feces of the Dalai Lama—the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhists—had beneficial properties prompted the UK’s Surgeon General to analyze them in the interests of science. They contained nothing remarkable, he concluded. Just as well: According to a spokesperson at the UK-based Tibet Foundation, “These days you can’t even buy the Dalai Lama’s used clothes, never mind his excrement.”

[materia666medica]

HORSE CHESTNUT

WHAT IS IT? In herbal medicine it is sometimes the bark but primarily the ‘fruits’ (perhaps more accurately described as the nuts) that are used from the Horse-chestnut tree. Horse-chestnuts can grow to nearly 40 meters tall and they are often planted in parks and botanical gardens because of their grace, beauty, abundant foliage and striking flowers.

HOW HAS IT BEEN USED? Horse-chestnut has a long history of use for improving circulation and the strength of the blood vessels. This has seen it being taken internally for conditions such as excessive uterine bleeding, varicose veins and bleeding haemorrhoids.

A tea made from Horse-chestnut has also been used externally to treat similar problems such as chronic leg ulcers or open wounds where the blood vessels on the surface are not mending themselves well.

King's Dispensatory writes 'Horse-chestnut's power over the circulation is pronounced, particularly its control over the portal vessels. Gangrenous and ill-conditioned ulcers have-been benefited by a strong infusion of the bark. The whitish, central part of the nuts, when in powder, has been recommended as a sternutatory in some cases of ophthalmia and headache. Specific medication has taught us that it is a remedy, not for active conditions, but for congestion and engorgement. It is indicated in general by capillary engorgement—a condition of stasis—with vascular fullness and sense of soreness, throbbing, and malaise all over the body. An uneasy, full, aching pain in the hepatic region is also an indication. Rectal disorders, such as rectal irritation and haemorrhoids, with marked congestion and a sense of constriction, as if closing spasmodically upon some foreign body, with itching, heat, pain, aching, or simple uneasiness, are fields in which Horse-chestnut exerts a specific influence'

Rudolph Weiss M.D writes 'today it is a proven fact that standardised Horse-chestnut extract is an effective preparation for the treatment of chronic venous insufficiency'.

D Hoffmann writes 'Horse-chestnut has unique actions on the vessels of the circulatory system. The herb appears to increase the elasticity and tone of the veins while decreasing vein permeability. It may be used internally in the treatment of phlebitis, (vein inflammation) varicosities, and haemorrhoids. Externally, it may be used for the same conditions, as well as for leg ulcers. Aescin (an ingredient of Horse-chestnut) has antiexudative actions and a tightening effect on the vasculature. A study of 22 patients with venous insufficiency showed that 1200mg of Horse-chestnut extract (standardised to 50mg aescin per capsule) lowered capillary filtration by 22% in 3 hours. A review of 13 clinical studies reported that Horse-chestnut was superior to placebo in improving symptoms of chronic venous insufficiency. The pooled results showed that Horse-chestnut reduced oedema, pain, fatigue, tenseness and in some cases pruritis in the legs. Commission E recommends a total daily dose of 100mg aescin, which corresponds to 250-312.5 mg of Horse-chestnut extract'

Thomas Bartram writes that the actions of Horse-chestnut include 'anti-inflammatory, vasodilator, astringent, tones & protects blood vessels, anti-oedema. Stimulates production of prostaglandin F-alpha, which constricts veins. He suggests uses for it including 'for bleeding piles and uterine bleeding, varicose veins, phlebitis, heavy legs, swollen ankles, chilblains, thrombo-phlebitis, night cramp (take 20 drops of the tincture at bedtime)  Bartram suggests doses for the horse-chestnuts of 1-2 grams and 1-2 mls of the extract of the powdered herb in tincture form.

[taxonomist]

The orchestral part of a concerto by Liszt, very vile- a catarrhal or sternutatory concerto. One frequently recurring phrase is a graphic instrumentation of a fortissimo sneeze, and a long passage is evidently meant to suggest a protracted, agonized bravura on the pocket handkerchief. There were also coughs, snorts, and periods of choking. It's a great work!

George Templeton Strong's diary, (Nov 4, 1870)

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[accidentalmistress]

TIL that the chemical compound helenalin is a sternutatory substance found in plants of the genus Helenium, aka sneezeweeds. It is a sesquiterpene lactone that irritates the mucous membranes. The pollen of Helenium plants doesn't do much, since it is spread by insects and has grains too large to be carried on the wind. Most of the helenalin is in the leaves and flowers of the plants, which historically were dried by Native Americans and ground into a snuff that was used to induce sneezing.

You know, I've been looking for plants that are native to my area to incorporate into my garden, and Helenium autumnale is distributed across most of North America...

... However, I feel it would be irresponsible if I did not add: helenalin is a toxin. It irritates your mucous membranes — this includes your gastrointestinal system! It can cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and internal bleeding. It also can cause acute liver toxicity and suppress your immune system. If applied to the skin, it can cause contact dermatitis. If enough is ingested, you can die.

That being said, helenalin concentrations in Helenium plants are low, about 0.5%-3% by dry weight, with the highest concentration being in the flowers. Toxicity in humans is not well studied, but lethal doses in other mammals have been shown to range from around 85-105 mg/kg when taken orally. Basically, don't have a sneezeweed salad, and don't start mainlining pure helenalin. If you do try using it, do so at your own risk.

[bigsnzstanacct]

My new fantasy is just like this enormous slab of a man, super broad shoulders, super thick, big nose, big belly, bigger butt, 6’4” at least, with sneezes that match and even exceed his size… and his boyfriend, a petite, shorter, slender twink who is the only person Slab knows that has even bigger sneezes than his own. They help each other out with their colossal sneezes and they have… a slightly d/s dynamic about it at times? Like Slab is always asking for permission to sneeze from Tiny to sneeze, sorta like… making Tiny responsible for his sneezes? Saying things like “I godda itch… can’t stahhhh… stop it on my o-own…” maybe even openly begging to sneeze when he shouldn’t like:

Tiny: Don’t. Sneeze. I am NOT paying the repair bill on a place like this just cause you can’t control yourself…

Slab: Buhhh…. Buhhhhh I godda… ihhhh… hiiIIIHHHHhhhh… it TICKLES so bahhaaad…

Meanwhile if Tiny needs to sneeze, maybe he tries to fight it and play it off and stay in control before gruffly barking (in the absolute gentlest bark you’ve ever heard): “Finger. Now. Hh-help me fight it.” And like this warning thing that is borderline bragging, in large part bc he knows it turns Slab on (of COURSE they both have the kink cmon now). “Fuck. It’s a fucking twister… can’t let it out here… gonna blow the wh-whole party away, just… snf a couple m-more…” Maybe even a little like berating/humiliation thing. “This is on you. If I sneeze, I’m gonna take out half the fucking building, and that’s your fault. I handle your nose all the time but you can’t stop a lihhh… little tickle for me? Cmon. Rub harder I’m doing everything I canhh… can here, barely even hh-hitching not being a sluhhh… hhuhhhHHH… slut for it like y-you.” Of course he only does this when he has the tickle (mostly) under control. When he’s really about to lose it he goes silent cause even the vibrations of talking might set him off. In situations like this, Slab has been known to grab Tiny and sprint in any available direction cause the storm is coming…

Of course it isn’t always that intense; it’s also like… soft sneeze intimacy, they just know each other so well! Tiny always, ALWAYS asks ahead if there will be a cat present anywhere they go, even bars and restaurants and such (in advance and out of Slab’s earshot, as the mere mention is enough to get him tickly). And Slab loves pepper but knows to put it on his food only when Tiny conveniently “remembers” to go wash his hands again right after the meal is ready. (Unless it’s one of those kinds of nights and they’re playing a game on purpose.) Tiny will politely but firmly request a friend wearing a fragrance that’s starting to get to Slab to go rinse off a bit (“so everyone can enjoy the evening, hm? Wouldn’t want us to have run early, or… anything else.”) Meanwhile Tiny need only tug on Slab’s sleeve and Slab will provide an excellent social excuse to anyone required, smoothly taking over hosting/schmoozing duties as Tiny very aggressively power walks away from whatever has his nose in revolt, slipping away himself to check on Tiny (invariably in a restroom at least one floor away, or, barring that, the nearest alleyway) if he’s not back with his nose utterly under control in five minutes or less. Sometimes Tiny will put a finger under Slab’s nose before even Slab knows he has a tickle, meanwhile sometimes they’ll be walking and Tiny will stop, and Slab scans the room for a millisecond before… “oh, I see it, you stay there, I’ll get rid of it, wouldn’t want you sneezing this place to smithereens.”

Among those who don’t need to know about the intensity of their sternutatory reflexes, they’ve perfected the art of avoiding allergens and calming each others’ noses so that no one would suspect the hurricane brewing. Meanwhile, among closer friends, those in the know, they’re shameless about it, openly laughing and joking and bragging and playfully needling each other and flirting about sneezes. (And esp if you imagine a setting where many/most/all people have the fetish, intentionally titillating others.)

If one or the other gets a cold, they both retreat to a well-stocked and very remote location. And if a hiker comes by and wonders why all the trees near this particular cabin seem to be stumps or felled or cracked or splintered or branchless or leafless in the middle of the summer, well… that’s no one’s business but their own.

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[thatsnotcanonpodcasts]

Sternutator

Greetings Gammarians! Today we are examining the hilarious, sometimes pleasurable and every-so-often deadly, bodily function: sneezing. Now, the word ‘sneeze’ can wait until another day. Today we are talking about the cause of sneezing - ‘sternutators’. This noun can refer to any substance that causes sneezing, coughing, and tears.

This word descends from the Latin sternūtātōrius, from sternuō (“sneeze”). The root ‘sternutation’, also Latin, is a descendant of the verb sternuere, meaning "to sneeze." 

One of the earliest known English uses occurred in a 16th-century edition of a book on midwifery, in a passage about infants suffering from frequent "sternutation and sneesynge." The term has long been used in serious medical contexts, but also on occasion for humorous effect. In 1850, for example, author Grace Greenwood observed that U.S. senators from opposing political parties would often come together to share snuff: "And all three forget their sectional differences in a delightful concert of sternutation. No business is too grave, no speaker too eloquent, to be 'sneezed at.'"

In modernity, sternutators have taken on a more sinister aspect in regards to their use as a weapon. Particularly referring to chemical substances that cause sneezing and coughing and crying, for example; "police used a sternutatory to subdue the mob". A Sternutator now most commonly refers to an agent that causes sneezing, especially one used in chemical warfare that causes irritation to the nose and eyes, pain in the chest, and nausea.

But to end on a slightly brighter note, let us consider the effect of sneezing on the local wildlife with a quote from "Dick Cheveley" by W. H. G. Kingston, “At the first sternutation the rats jumped up and looked about them, evidently considerably alarmed.”

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

Subscribe to us on ITUNES, STITCHER, SPOTIFY, or your podcatcher of choice.

Find us on FACEBOOK or TWITTER

Become a Patron of That’s Not Canon Productions at Patreon!

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[vernezhao-blog]

Vocabulary #6

Academic bridge vocabulary CELAC-UNM Week 6

1. Word: susceptible Part of speech: adj Definition: If you are susceptible to a disease or injury, you are very likely to be affected by it First language: 易受感染的 Use in a sentence: Walking with weights makes the shoulders very susceptible to injury.

2. Word: standalone Part of speech: adj Definition: independent and does not receive financial support from another organization First language: 独立的 Use in a sentence: It is not a standalone product.

3. Word: subdue Part of speech: verb Definition: to put down by force or authority First language: 制服 Use in a sentence: Police used a sternutatory to subdue the mob.

4. Word: racquetball Part of speech: noun Definition: a game played on a handball court with short-handled rackets First language: 短网拍墙球 Use in a sentence: His wife thought he was playing racquetball.

5. Word: expansion Part of speech: noun Definition: the process of becoming greater in size, number, or amount. First language: 膨胀 Use in a sentence: The company has abandoned plans for further expansion.

6. Word: distinction Part of speech: noun Definition: A distinction between similar things is a difference. First language: 差别 Use in a sentence: There are obvious distinctions between the two wine-making areas.

7. Word: burp Part of speech: verb Definition: When someone burps, they make a noise because air from their stomach has been forced up through their throat. First language: 打嗝 Use in a sentence: You'll end up losing your voice because you puke and burp so much.

8. Word: complimentary Part of speech: adj Definition: If you are complimentary about something, you express admiration for it. First language: 赞美的 Use in a sentence: The staff have been very complimentary, and so have the customers.

9. Word: reissue Part of speech: verb Definition: If something such as a book, CD, or film is reissued after it has not been available for some time, it is published or produced again. First language: 重新发行 Use in a sentence: Her novels have just been reissued with eye-catching new covers.

10. Word: controversial Part of speech: adj Definition: If you describe something or someone as controversial, you mean that they are the subject of intense public argument, disagreement, or disapproval. First language: 有争议的 Use in a sentence: Immigration is a controversial issue in many countries.

11. Word: capacity Part of speech: noun Definition: The capacity of a container is its volume, or the amount of liquid it can hold, measured in units such as litres or gallons. First language: 容纳能力 Use in a sentence: Our capacity for giving care, love and attention is limited.

12. Word: omit Part of speech: verb Definition: If you omit something, you do not include it in an activity or piece of work, deliberately or accidentally. First language: 删除 Use in a sentence: His new girlfriend had omitted to tell him she was married.

13. Word: straightforward Part of speech: adj Definition: If you describe a person or their behaviour as straightforward, you approve of them because they are honest and direct, and do not try to hide their feelings. First language: 坦率的 Use in a sentence: She is very blunt, very straightforward and very honest.

14. Word: pirouette Part of speech: noun Definition: A pirouette is a movement in ballet dancing. The dancer stands on one foot and spins their body round fast. First language: 单脚旋转 Use in a sentence: She pirouetted in front of the glass.

15. Word: booty Part of speech: noun Definition: Booty is a collection of valuable things stolen from a place, especially by soldiers after a battle. First language: 赃物 Use in a sentence: Troops destroyed the capital and confiscated many works of art as war booty.

16. Word: diagnose Part of speech: verb Definition: If someone or something is diagnosed as having a particular illness or problem, their illness or problem is identified. If an illness or problem is diagnosed, it is identified. First language: 诊断 Use in a sentence: The soldiers were diagnosed as having flu.

17. Word: bipolar Part of speech: adj Definition: of or relating to manic depressive illness First language: 躁郁的 Use in a sentence: Lithium carbonate is an important drug for treating depression and bipolar disorder.

18. Word: belligerent Part of speech: adj Definition: A belligerent person is hostile and aggressive. First language: 好斗的 Use in a sentence: He is no less belligerent, no less dangerous than his father and grandfather.

19. Word: woe Part of speech: noun Definition: Woe is very great sadness. First language: 痛苦 Use in a sentence: He listened to my tale of woe.

20. Word: abolitionist Part of speech: noun Definition: An abolitionist is someone who campaigns for the abolition of a particular system or practice. First language: 废奴主义者 Use in a sentence: By 1838, the abolitionists had shamed parliament into ending slavery in British colonies.

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