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dollypopup · 2 days

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I truly cannot overstate just how much I adore Colin Bridgerton as a male love lead, and how important his story is, in particular in a current, modern reading. We live in a time of alpha male machismo that in many ways mirrors the sexism of the historical time period Colin is in, and we have a hero who explicitly rejects it. More than that, we have a hero who first tries on the persona, first tries to fit in, and then determines, with no outside influence and all on his own, that it's wrong. That he doesn't want to be like the men of his society, that he doesn't like the expectation of sex without love and commitment and connection, that he doesn't want to be 'one of the boys', even if it comes at their derision.

Because when Violet says he has always been her most sensitive child, when he has always considered others before himself, when he has always offered a joke or a moment of levity- for so long, he felt he had to. That there was no other choice.

Colin Bridgerton, The Great Pretender, is finally coming into the light.

Take my hand. Come walk with me.

Colin's arc is incredibly clear, and incredibly dear to me. We can track his progress throughout the seasons he has been in, but if we consider his backstory, it comes even more in clarity.

Piecing together a timeline with some influence from the books and loose historical accuracy, Colin loses his father at 12 and then is sent off to Eton. And he is a tiny thing when his father passes, shorter even than his 9 year old sister, Eloise.

(Yes, I checked!! He's half a head shorter than Eloise, and an entire head shorter than Daphne. This boy is SMALL)

So it makes a lot of sense to me that this is the start of his fake-it-to-make-it personality. He cannot grieve with his family in these circumstances, he's been sent off to school with other boys who are bigger and stronger than him, and he must realize relatively quickly that weakness in their eyes will never be tolerated. In fact, Eton was well known for corporal punishment and bullying during this time. Older boys were well known to mistreat the younger once, and considering just how small and soft-hearted Colin is, and just how vulnerable he is having lost his father-

Of course Colin would become a target of such.

And despite that, we meet him in Season 1 with an endearing earnestness and hopefulness in the world. Something inside him, something sweet and gentle and warm, thrives to live. And fights against grief to do so. How easy it would have been for him to lose his father and be bitter. How easy for him to see his father die from the steps of Aubrey Hall, to be sent to a boarding school away, and withdraw in on himself.

And yet, he doesn't.

At least, not in the way one would suspect. Instead, Colin becomes a chronic people pleaser. If the people around him are happy, then he will be safe. Will not be hurt. And they have no space for his own hurt, regardless. There's hardly even any space for his mirth, as most people didn't even reply to his letters on his travels the previous season.

In Colin's confession in Season 3, he says 'I have spent so long trying to feel less', and this numbing begins early in his life. He's a consummate gentleman in Season 1. He does everything by the book, everything as he should. He wants to be accepted in his society, wants to be taken seriously, wants to belong. So he sees a pretty woman, and he gets along with her well enough, and he courts her. Openly, honestly, in full view. It isn't a heart-stopping love, but he has numbed himself for years at this point, so affection will do, and if proper men of his society are married, well, maybe he'd finally be taken seriously.

And yet, no one notices him, even still. No one except Penelope. His own mother doesn't recognize his behavior, and worries for him after she does. How long has it been since she's actually seen him? We know from the show that he's incredibly close to his mother, and loves her dearly, but we also know that after Edmund's passing, Violet was mired in grief and post-partum depression. Colin misses much of this as a firsthand witness since he's at school, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to tell, wouldn't be affected by losing his mother and father in one fell swoop. In fact, Colin loses his connection to the majority of his family in being sent to school so soon after the tragedy. So of course he comes back and he tries not to make waves. Tries to do things correctly.

His friction with Anthony proves time and time again that nothing he does is entirely ever able to fully please him, and this causes contention in their brotherly bond. Of all the siblings, Anthony is arguably the most harsh with Colin. And he is also the model for who a man should be in the family, as the head of the family.

So when Anthony sees Colin earnestly try to marry, he scoffs him off. Accuses Colin of only wanting to marry to have sex, and then claiming "It is my fault. I should have taken you to brothels." This is the first on-screen shaming of Colin looking for connection before sex, and Colin doubles down. He wants to marry for love.

But he doesn't actually love Marina. Neither of them truly know each other, and so when it all blows up, and he is humiliated to the entirety of his community, Colin gets his first taste of romantic failure. He tried to do it right, and it ended more wrong than he could have ever imagined. So, maybe Anthony was right. Maybe he is just a foolish, green boy, who has no idea how to go about things. The fallout of his failed engagement echoes in the persona he puts on in Season 3, and the choices he undergoes during them. Is it any wonder he ends up going to brothels to have unfulfilling sex if even his own BROTHER, the head of his family, tells him to do so?

It doesn't happen right away, though. Despite the fact that no one truly checks on him or sees how this breakup effects him (Eloise dismisses the hurt he must feel in light of such events with an honestly rather accurate wave-away "Men are always less affected", and that is true), it is evident that he is NOT okay.

We leave Colin in Season 1 putting on a mask, a happy face to his family, a 'you inspired me' to Penelope, and then spends his travels sad. Depressed. Taking drugs to try to ease his mind, occupying himself with writing to Penelope. In Season 2, he spends the entirety of it trying to be useful. And he does this with Penelope. He feels deeply for her, he cares so much for her, and he even says it to her aloud 'You are special to me' and 'I will always look after you' and how he could never give her up. Season 2 is a season of healing for Colin- he closes his chapter with Marina with a relationship post-mortum conversation after he does a wellness check to make sure she's alive (let's be real here, no one else was going to reach out to her. She made it clear to him that even her own father didn't want her), makes amends with Will, proves himself useful to Penelope, and departs on a high: he thinks he threaded the needle. He thinks he was successful sending Jack off, that he made Penelope happy, and that he's in with The Boys.

But whilst the person he is around Penelope is genuine, the person he is around these men are not. We know from Season 3 that they don't actually like him. They make snide, underhanded comments toward him, and laugh at him. I stand by the idea that end of season 2 is Fife and Co. laughing at Penelope AND laughing at Colin. They don't care about their friendship, they're teasing him for caring about her so openly, and Colin is protective of the relationship he has with Penelope. So he makes a comment for the boys, and puts on his mask. 'I would never court Penelope Featherington' (look, I'm just like you. I walk like you, talk like you, speak like you) 'Not in your wildest fantasies, Fife' (I am one of you one of you one of you- so why does it feel so hollow?)

He gets, now, his first taste of acceptance from them. They come to him to Mondrich's bar, he repays his slight against him, and he feels he is one of them. (Does he truly *want* to be one of them?) And so when we open Season 3, it's a smooth progression.

Colin is walking the walk and talking the talk, and yet his heart isn't in it. He's not one of these smarmy men, but he mimics them. Their behavior. In part, at least. Whilst Fife is out preying on 18 year old women in coat closets, Colin is telling gaggles of girls how pretty they are and how with such nice dresses, they're sure to find a husband. He makes it clear he's not an option, but that he doesn't mind being a fantasy. And Luke Newton does an amazing job making that clear: there are three sides of Colin. The Colin portrayed to his society in the light in good company (1) and the Colin portrayed to his society in the dark, in. . .less savory circles (aka: The Lads)(2), his 'armor' as his mum calls it. And finally, the most important but the one kept closest to the chest: the Colin of truth. The Colin who cries alone in his room after a breakup, the Colin who doesn't burden others with his feelings, the Colin who writes to Penelope, the Colin who loves deeply and feels deeply.

But his society has no use for a man like the real Colin, they do not *want* a man like real Colin, so he puts it under lock and key. And so much of this is centered around his feelings about sex, so here comes my 'Colin is Queer' soapbox. Colin does not experience sexual attraction like the rest of the men of the ton. He is expected to find it casual and be cavalier about it. To just want to fuck for the sake of fucking. But Colin needs love and romance and connection to actually enjoy sexual interactions. Nowadays, we recognize this as being on the asexual spectrum, of being demisexual, but he didn't have words for that in the time period he's in, so he has to forge ahead to figure himself out without a community identity to find solidarity with. That's what makes the brothel scenes so interesting as a narrative device: in the first, he's masking even in the midst of it, and in the second, he can't. After kissing Penelope, he finally, for the first time in his life, has a sexual interaction that means something to him.

It's the first one he truly enjoys, and the first one that feels right to him. It clicks for him that oh, that's what it's meant to be like. And the strain of that realization whilst still having to be what his society expects of him puts immense stress on his shoulders. You see how he grows more and more uncomfortable about the conversations, until finally he rejects it outright.

Even when it's very much not encouraged for him to do so. He's even told "You are much more fun this season." That's why he hides himself. From near everyone, even his family, even his brothers. It's telling how Anthony's positive interaction with Colin is when they're at the club, and Anthony praises him for his most recent attention. Have we seen much of Anthony being proud of Colin, otherwise? Not really. So he's reinforced in his persona. Doesn't boast of his travels because it didn't have anyone liking him for it, before. Doesn't even say how many cities he's gone to. Except with Penelope.

In the books, there's a line about their kiss, referencing how his world will never be the same. And it won't be. Because when Colin says that she helps him see the world in new ways, it's in a multitude of meanings.

Penelope refuses to let him wear the mask, because in truth, Penelope is the only one who doesn't like it. Not only does she see the real Colin, but she enjoys the real Colin. Whilst everyone else is simpering over Colin's new look and attitude, rejects who he is in reality, Penelope dismisses it, wants the person she knows him to be instead. It's only when he strips down the facades that Penelope allows him into her life again. And her Whistledown article was harsh, but it was also true. He *is* masking. He *is* putting on a persona and a role. But she was wrong when she asked if Colin even knows which is real: Colin knows very well which is real. And he also knows the realities of him haven't been accepted.

When Colin tells Penelope charm can be taught, he speaks from experience. When he says 'living for the expectations of others is a trap' it is because he has already fallen into it, and if he can't dig himself out, maybe he can keep her from it. Colin tells her 'you do not need lessons' and that she is fine exactly as she is, because just as she sees the real him and loves him, he sees the real her, and loves her, too. But they both live in the constraints of their society, and so they both put on the masquerade. Even sometimes to hide from each other.

The current climax of his arc is when he's out with the lads, after they all go off to the brothel again, and he disassociates from the experience. Playing cards and insisting on sharing sexual exploits, to which he does not want to take part, and makes a lighthearted dig at them. 'There is no gentleman at this table'. He includes himself in that, and then clarifies. He speaks aloud for the first time to them the truth of his heart- 'Do you not ever tire of the expectation to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning? Do you not find it lonely?' Can it really only just be him?

And it is. Or, maybe it isn't, but the rest of them aren't brave enough to admit it, so they're okay in making him feel like it is, in outcasting him for being a romantic, for caring about a woman beyond what she can provide for him sexually. Colin professes he doesn't like who he's become, doesn't like the expectations for him to behave the way he has, and they laugh at him. Again. He is made fun of, again.

He goes home and he falls in his bed and he feels like he lost it all. Lost Penelope to his own advice, and lost his newfound shine in his community. But when he's faced with which one matters more to him, he chooses Penelope. Unhesitatingly.

Colin chooses to be sensitive. He chooses to be a warm-hearted, gentle man in a society that prefers sexist machismo. Act one way in the light and another in the shadows. Colin wants to live authentically, as a man he doesn't really have a role model for. He is brave and he is tender, he sees the sexism of his society and he rejects it. He sees the importance Penelope has in his life, the way she makes him feel, and he embraces her wholeheartedly. He wants love and romance, he wants connection and meaning.

Colin, The Great Pretender, sick of pretending. Colin, walking into that ballroom and giving Fife the cut direct when he invites him out. Colin, cutting into a dance in the middle of a ball between Penelope and a man the entire city knows is about to propose. Colin staring deeply into her eyes with such unfiltered longing even *Cressida* can't help but notice what's going on. Colin running off after Penelope in full view of his society, outrunning a *carriage* to see her. Begging her to let him in. Colin on his knees, all but flaying his chest open for Penelope to see his heart. Colin made a choice when that candle flickered out, and his choice was Penelope. His choice was himself. And his choice was to flip off societal expectation and to live for love, damn the consequences.

I think our own world would be a better place if modern men took his example, too. Colin Bridgerton as male love lead in Bridgerton, a global show, is such a refreshing, wonderful example. A man who tried to be like what the world wanted, and who decided to go against the gender norms of his time. A man who prioritizes the woman he loves, who risks ridicule in doing so and comes to realize that he doesn't care. He doesn't care anymore about being one of the boys, one of the lads, one of the guys. Fuck his society if his society can't recognize the beauty of what he feels with Pen. He cares about being the best self he can be. And that best self is around Penelope, inspired by Penelope.

Because how he is with Penelope? God, I could swoon. At every turn, he prioritizes her comfort and personhood. He validates her, he sees her in beautiful, positive light and he helps her see herself that way, too. He encourages her to be brave because he already feels she is, he refuses to let her call herself stupid or a laughingstock, he apologizes without excuses, he checks in on her every step of the way. He's so passionate in that carriage, he's burning for her, he's yearning, but he doesn't do anything until she agrees for him to. He confesses his feelings and when she says they're friends, he backs off. He listens, he cares. He apologizes for overstepping her boundaries, and then when she gives him her consent, the only thing on his mind is showing how much he wants and appreciates her by providing her pleasure. Colin, the people pleaser, dedicated only to pleasing two people in that moment: Penelope, and himself. Because he wants to do that, to give her an orgasm that exists just for her. He's a witness to it, and that's pleasure for him, too. He waits for her nod of consent, he revels in seeing her enjoying herself. And the aftercare- I could cry.

Colin is a man who had every single reason not to be a kind, sensitive soul, and still he chose it. Chose to share it because the headline, even a wallflower can bloom, that's not just for Penelope.

It's for Colin, too.

#colin bridgerton #polin #bridgerton #penelope featherington #i just love him so so much #if colin has 0 fans i've died #i just feel so connected to him as a character i could keep going #like this is SO long and i have more to say #will have to edit later for now have some unfiltered thoughts

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kxsalt · 2 days

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“I’m not a whore!” She protests to her group of friends. The crowd looks at her, dumbfounded by her adverse reaction.

One of them breaks the silence. “Look, I’m not trying to offend you, but you’ve literally had sex with everybody here.” The girl pouts. Another man chimes in: “I haven’t had sex with her.”

“She told us last week that she sucked your dick in a nightclub bathroom.” He replies. “Well, yeah, fair enough.” The man admits. “Oral sex definitely counts.” One of the women jumps into the conversation. “Obviously, or it wouldn’t count for us girlies.” Another woman adds on with a shrug: “I just fucked her with my strap.” The group laughs. “Oooh, can I borrow that next time?”

The girl blushes. “That doesn’t make me a whore…” She mumbles, feeling called out. The woman carries on. “There’s nothing wrong with it, but if you take your panties off the second someone asks you for a threesome, you might be a slut.” The first man snaps his fingers. “That reminds me, remember when we asked to gangbang you? I’ve never seen anyone strip so quickly.”

“Damn, you guys got to gangbang her? Where was I?” The friend she sucked off in a toilet stall feigns insult. “You were out of town. Next time for sure.” The other man assures him. Shifting awkwardly in her seat, the girl is painfully aware of how wet she is from the conversation. “I just like free-use…” She whimpers pathetically.

“Oh, honey, we know.” The woman sitting next to her explains sarcastically. “When you ‘accidentally’ upload a video of you having sex to the group chat and ‘don’t know how to delete it’, people figure those things out.” The crowd bursts into laughter again. The girl wonders if she could get away with rubbing her pussy right now.

“I forgot about that! God, there’s so many stories. How about that Halloween when she dressed up like a ‘rope bunny’? All those fancy shibari ties, the bunny ears, nothing else?” The man mimics ears behind the girl’s head. “Don’t forget the time we all went camping and she ‘forgot’ to pack clothes.” As the group recounts their favorite stories about the girl, she rubs her thighs together, desperate to not prove their point.

“Any other good stories?” The man addresses the group. “Oh, not really a story, but…” Says one of the women. “…While she’s pretending she’s not a whore, what’s the deal with you pretending to be straight? You’ve fucked more women than I have.” The girl bursts out another protest. “I like guys! I just don’t want to not have sex with women, too!” Rolling her eyes, the woman explains to her with a condescending tone. “That’s called bisexual, honey…”

“My favourite story is the time I asked her to be my dog for a week…” The girl hops up from her seat. If she hears any more, she won’t be able to keep herself from touching her pussy. “Nooo! Don’t say it!” She begs him to not tell everyone. “…she really committed to it. Collared all the time, on her hands and knees, walkies, eating from a bowl, training her to do tricks. She never broke character. I’ve never seen someone as happy as when I put her in a kennel.” The girl’s legs tremble as she leans against the table for support.

“That’s a great idea. Usually, I just do blindfold and handcuffs, then edge the fuck out of her.” A woman regales the group with her story. “One time, I was sitting on her face after edging her for hours. While she was licking my pussy, I told her that I was never going to let her cum again. No joke, she came right then and there. I swear I wasn’t touching her pussy, tits, nothing, just grinding myself on her face. She came just from eating me out.” The woman points at the girl. “Because you’re bisexual. Or pan or something, I don’t care.”

“Call me vanilla, but I mostly just use her for porn. I swear I have a terabyte of videos of her by now. I still send her a clip every morning just to tease her. Haven’t had to repeat a clip even once, that’s how much I have. Hey, what clip did I send you this morning?” He asks the girl. “Umm, I think I’m, like, giving some guy head…?” She mumbles. “Right, the gloryhole. Those ones kinda end up the same.”

“While we’re on the topic: Sometimes she’s covered in bruises…? Who’s doing that?” A man and a woman raise their hands at the same time, then laugh. “Oh, you too?” The woman smiles. “It’s not my fault, you know how bratty she gets. The belt is the only thing that keeps her in line.” The man ponders her response. “A belt, eh? I usually just use my hands. The personal touch, you know?”

“Personally, I like to put a remote vibrator in her and have her go around doing stuff while I play with it. I bet she gets wet every time she goes into a grocery store now.” One woman calmly explains. The man across the table gets excited. “I do something similar, I cum on her face before we go out. We should collaborate.”

“I guess I’m not too kinky, I just have anal sex with her.” The man jokingly addresses the nightclub friend. “Don’t worry man, I haven’t had sex with her pussy, either.” The girl volunteers some more information. “You don’t just have anal with me, you always start right when I come over and… make me leave right after…” She clamps her mouth shut. “Oh, yeah. I guess that is a kink. Objectification or something.”

“I love being really really mean to her.” Another friend puts her face close to the girl. “And she loves it too. Isn’t that right, you dumb slut? Pathetic little girl. Listen to all these people who use you as a fucktoy, just admit that you’re a whore. Everybody knows that’s all you’re good for. Worthless slut, filthy little cum dump.” The woman hisses into her ear. The girl blushes bright pink. “…n- no…” She nods her head as she denies it.

“What about you? Just the nightclub thing?” A woman asks the only person at the table who hasn’t used her pussy. He hangs his head in his hands dramatically. “I think… I need a job with less travel…” Everyone laughs at his theatrics. The man stands and moves next to the whimpering girl. Her eyes widen as he takes out his cock and starts to stroke it. “I guess I should make up for lost time.”

The girl instinctively throws her body on the table and hikes up her dress. Her panties are a soggy mess; a huge wet patch from her pussy starting to reach up to her ass. Pulling them down halfway, the needy girl pushes herself towards his hard cock. He touches his head against her hole, then points himself upwards, grinding the length of his shaft against her body. “Nuh-uh.” He teases “Admit it, first.”

The girls head is spinning. Insanely horny, she tries to get his cock inside her. She whimpers as his dick is pulled away. “Say it. Come on.” She looks around at her friends. “ookie… fine… I’m a whore…” The crowd cheers as the man slides his cock into her pussy. The girl pushes back, burying him inside her on the first thrust. She cums immediately, while her friends laugh at her.

Her drool drips onto the table, her cum drips onto her panties. “I’m a whore. I’m a whore. I’m a whore.” Someone pulls her dress off. Another person points their phone at her. Another shoves their fingers in her mouth. Another grabs onto her breast. One leaves to go find her dog collar. The man fucking her pushes his thumb into her ass for a firm grip. The girl starts to cum again. Her voice is almost inaudible in the commotion.

“I’m a whore. I’m a whore. I’m a whore.”

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luxuourr · 2 days

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Why manifesting is your best friend + society is a bitch.

manifesting ?? my best friend ? hell no. i need to work so hard...

pookie it's not your work hard thing , your society you live in, we collectively live in , has told us fucked up shit we don't need to believe in, nothing of it is true. The only thing true is what's from the heart and it's the feeling , you didn't and god didn't and universe didn't send time upon us , we used our brains to create it ,

laws don't fail. laws are made laws because they're undeniable.

understand time is not linear , scientists found alphabets otherwise let's be honest , who would have known what's English is?? If Greeks and Egyptians didn't work on time. would we know today?

nuh uh! so I suggest you to remember, don't look at how much time or date you're at, don't look at how many hours until he (sp ) surprises ur enemy with date , how you fail

no time to think of this, think the best of every possible circumstance, I know and you should too, you're doing a great job

even if the last conversation with him ended in a divorce, breakup or failed situation ship, you can get it all back, even if life has not been kind to you and you could not keep up with the most important exam of your life AND you're a victim of domestic abuse or parental abuse. it's not too late, you're not doing anything right or wrong , just because you could not do more than you could because of circumstances, it'll not change your results , it'll not change you getting 100%, if you did everything positively and tried to slap your negative thoughts there's always hope. i say this as I have not prepared anything for the most important math exam of my life and it's 5 pm rn , I have 14 chapters and have the most biggest exam of my life tommorow at 1 pm, have severe depression and the most toxic and hurtful family you could ever imagine to have.

believe me, no one will care about you, until you make it happen.

do you know what your job is ?

- know what you want + assume you're that version, that super model , famous celeb, have that desired body s/o or whatever , fullfill yourself after that and BOOM you wake up in it, won't even take less than a 2-3 days if your belief is good enough, you're doing shit in a fun way to manifest everything you want

- failure doesn't exist , no you're not delusional for attempting nothing in exam and wanting 96% ,you're god remember. the others who have the exam aren't , if you assume you'll know everything without studying that's going to happen, it only depends on what you feed yourself with.

- gone is gone , it's like it'll never come back, if there is something attached , like up coming results from what happened, i suggest assume + accept and move on

- if you script, mediate, robotically affirm, visualize or do whatever, it is meant to happen

- do not worry, you're doing a good job, just try your best for certain things or assume , everything works in the best possible outcomes

- mountains and clouds , centuries and the equator will move for you to get your desires.

- no you're not cursed and shit, life's a rainbow sparkle colors it's all a roses of bed and not what society taught us, just assume and you'll wake up with it

- for example if you have important exams of your life , there's this girl in front of you doing so well in exams , u don't wanna cheat and there's no chances anyway but you realize, the best you're doing right now is trying your level best in the exam and if you have time or not , time doesn't matter it's just created by us, remember she's not better she has no idea about LOA It's , you it's me it's us. Why would she be better, she had to study 24/7 and then still assume about average grades and stress over what's wrong and right , instead you , who could visualize given it well, be the person who got 96% in these exams isn't it much more fun, less tiring and entertaining??

- you got to know manifesting for a reason, trust people who posted their success stories, trust yourself , be kind to yourself and don't let the old story walk over you, it was never there , failure never existed , you've always been the new story you created for yourself, understood.?

- beating yourself up is not going to reverse time again honey, it's gone , it's not coming back , like never so focus on yourself, your feelings , your intentions , your life. Try to know that manifesting is not about trying to get and doing methods to recieve , it's about KNOWING and feeling.

e. g Aliyah is a girl who's a manifestor she wants good grades, she has issues she cannot study because of and cause her to be burn out at home , so she decides , the night before finals.

she thinks " i will try my best and even if it's the point where it wasn't good enough, universe and manifesting has my back, the time that'll be taken by the institute to check my exams , I'll revise everything including all my wrong parts of exam and unfilled parts to fully filled correct answers because crying and whining won't do shit, but this feeling will change everything" , even her bsf in this case supported her and told her that she's manifesting for her and everything plays out in the best possible circumstances. You only assumed like that and made it happen

e. g there's another manifestor called Sara she is also giving the same exam as aliyah , but instead of working on her self concept , believing in herself

, she'd cry for hours everyday for three months so instead of reality giving her the 100% she's been hoping for , she fails she thinks 3D is everything( it's not ) , she doesn't believe in bloggers she's impulsive, thinks crying is the solution to everything , she spends 3 months crying and shitting about herself to achieve nothing in life

prior to this aliyah the master manifestor slays in everything she does, she accepts and moves on , every time bad thoughts get to her , she slaps them with " NO THIS IS MY WORLD IM AN ACCURATE PERFECT MANIFESTOR"

so who of them saved themselves despite abusive household and everything??? Sarah just spent all the time crying and whining.

you can either be her. ( Sarah) or HER (aliyah)

#law of assumption #affirmations #law of manifestation #manifestation #revision #subliminal #void #void state #void success #subliminals

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fallahifag · 2 days

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just cleared out over 1700 asks from my inbox and i just want to say thank you to anyone who has ever sent me a nice or supportive message that i could not respond to. i have read them all and appreciate them more than anything. from here on forward, i'd like to focus this blog more on sharing resources to help palestinians- which is why i have not been answering any asks that are not related to donation campaigns.

alongside the sweet messages, i have been getting a ton of hate messages that promote weird accounts that were created to exclusively harass me and other palestinians on tumblr, accusing us of things that are extremely untrue and even questioning our backgrounds. despite not letting this hate personally impact me, i understand that it may have taken a great toll on my other palestinian friends who have been working tirelessly for the palestinian cause. i luckily did not have access to my phone when most of the conspiring against us took place, meaning i did not see the worst of it - but it still bothers me that this is the type of attention we are getting when the only attention we want is attention to help those suffering in palestine.

we have said this a million times and in a million different ways. we are real people. our families are being impacted. our friends are being killed. our lives are being changed. all we want is justice. you don't deserve a pat on the back for simply reblogging one of our posts, or asking us personal questions irrelated to the subject we are desperately trying to bring focus on. you need to be doing more. you COULD be doing more. donate, share, interact with gazans and palestinians in non-parasocial ways.

it is not hard. if you can't decide on a specific campaign to place your donation, click this link for a spotlight fundraiser you can support. regularly check palestinian sources and blogs on here for more updates on fundraisers you can support. can't donate? sharing and interacting with these posts goes a long way. we need attention. attention will bring forth action. do not undermine your privilege and power. you can always be doing more.

lastly, i would like to remind you all that i am planning to start my hunger strike in a couple of days. this hunger strike is meant to encourage more and more people to donate to help save my friend hani's family. if you have an extra dollar, please consider donating to hani's campaign. and if you cannot donate, share his fundraiser.

throughout my hunger strike (and moving forward), my blog will mostly focus on bringing attention to fundraisers that you can support, as well as news and updates from gaza and the west bank. it has been over 225 days of relentless genocide in gaza and torture in the west bank. we are coming up on a full year. none of us should be able to rest in these conditions. no more playing games. take us seriously and do more.

#thanks bye #palestine

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anothermansjeans · 1 day

Note

hear me out...

youtuber reader making a tiktok of spencer teaching while she's sitting in on one of his classes and people just thirsting over him in the comments

the comments... they'd be feral

cw: talks of serial killers, college girls love spencer reid (im a college girl and can confirm), comments are thirsty

wc: 526

youtuber!reader masterlist

Recently, Spencer has been doing some guest lectures at the nearby college. It was something he loved doing– teaching, that is– and he invited you to sit in on one of the lectures after hearing how jealous you were of all those college girls who audited (though you’ll never admit you were jealous, those words were completely out of Spencer’s mouth).

You sat in the back of the room, making sure not to disturb anyone who was there to actually learn. You couldn't help but to peek your phone out and capture some moments on video every now and then.

“And so the United States has the highest number of serial killers in the world.” He spoke with his hands, all eyes zoning in on them, “but according to a study, the number of active serial killers has decreased. This decrease could be because of the lag time in identifying serial killers.”

The lecture went on for another hour, and you captured a few more moments, from more serial killer facts to a joke. “A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, ‘In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.’ But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, ‘Yeah, right’.” Unfortunately, no one really got the joke, but he quickly moved on from it. When it was over and Spencer finally finished speaking to the last girl, you walked up to him with a cheeky smile.

“Wow, Dr. Reid, you were so great up there. Do you mind giving me a private tutoring session,” you batted your eyelashes as he scoffed.

“Funny.”

“I’m just doing what all of those other girls did! They were practically drooling over you.”

“They were not!” His voice went up an octave, causing you to laugh.

“Mhmm,” you straightened out his tie as you spoke, “I got some footage of you teaching. Can I post it? You can watch it before answering, and you don't have to feel like you need to say ‘yes’. I just thought–”

“You can post it.”

You paused your movements and gave him your full attention, “you're sure?”

“Yeah.” He brought his hands to your hips, giving them a quick squeeze, “I trust you. I also know how your followers act, and I'm interested in seeing the comments.”

A cackle left your mouth, “oh my, God. Your ego.”

“I do not!”

“Mhmm, whatever you say babe.”

Bonus: some comments

@ user: GIRLLL BARK BARK BARK

@ user1: y/n can you fight?

@ user2: HIS HANDS??? girl not to be THIRSTING OVER YOUR MAN BUT WTF

@ user3: you are so strong… i see that girl in front of you checking him out 😭

@ user4: how are you not currently frothing at the mouth

@ user5: he's SMART and KIND and HANDSOME AND YOU ARE LIVING THE LIFE WE ALL WANT

@ user6: i am trying to be so respectful girl 😔✊

@ user7: god has favorites and you're one of them fr fr

@ user8: why are YOU BOTH SO ATTRACTIVE

youtuber!reader taglist: @im-a-ghost666 @lyd14k4y @happiestcat @hauntedtv13 @obi-wansgirl @charismatic-writer @navs-bhat @itsleilabxtch @strabarrybat @hiireadstuff @cherrybb-ily @wietske27 @mynameiskelly @mcntsee @aremuslupinsimp @universallyblizzardlove

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #dr spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #youtuber!reader

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im-subtextsexual · 2 days

Text

I’m glad so many people picked up on the vibes between Eloise and Cressida. Not a ship I ever considered before, but the tension was palpable. I’ve been a Queer Eloise truther since reading the books. Her portrayal on the show only made it more obvious in my mind. I didn’t think the writers would ever go there, but the set up is just so explicit, now I’m not sure. I don’t think they’d actually make Eloise / Cressida canon, but I do think they’re testing the waters for wlw Eloise. And it makes perfect sense.

First off, the character is queer (I’ll hold off from labeling her a lesbian outright, because there’s definitely room for other identities like bi, demi, ace…. etc.) Even in the books. I legitimately think Julia Quinn accidentally wrote a sapphic character and then didn’t know what to do with her. So what we got is “To Sir Phillip, With Love”, widely considered to be one of the worst in the series. Believe me, if there’s any story that could stand to deviate from the books, it’s this one. And the story could so easily be adapted to a wlw romance, it would be a wasted opportunity not to do it. Like… the story would be better if they tweaked it to fit a queer canon. AND it could be done in a historically accurate way to shut up the naysayers that “a lesbian storyline wouldn’t fit in this universe.” How? Allow me to explain.

*SPOILERS FOR BRIDGERTON SERIES BOOK 5*

In the book, Eloise strikes up a correspondence with Sir Phillip Crane. Yes, THAT Phillip, the one currently married to Marina from season 1&2. Marina kills herself because she can’t stand to be married to Phillip and deal with their children in the wake of her lover / his brother’s death. His initial interest in Eloise is to find a mother for his children. She is intrigued by his intelligence and decides she doesn't want to be alone, but isn’t necessarily eager to marry or have a family. Due to romance novel shenanigans, she runs away to Phillip's house and is forced to marry him. Even as they grow to kind of love each other, it's far from some grand romance. It’s the very definition of “settling”. The most interesting part is the narrative structure of their story being told through letters in the beginning. We could keep all that, but make it gay.

*Imagine*

Eloise meets some dapper gentlemen new to the marriage mart. We’ll call him Emmett. Very little is known about Emmett and his family as they keep largely to themselves at their estate in the countryside. The only thing that’s widely known is the family suffered a tragic accident where the man of the house and his oldest daughter died, leaving his son (the other twin) to take on the responsibility of rank and title very early. Emmet is making a rare appearance in London to find a wife (there are rumors of stipulations in his inheritance requiring a match). ALL the debutantes are fawning over him because he’s mysterious and extraordinarily good-looking. One might even say “pretty”… To everyone’s great surprise the season’s most eligible bachelor takes a special interest in Eloise after overhearing her talking about her disdain for the social convention of marriage, and how she would only consider it if it were an in-name-only, marriage of convenience. Emmett strikes up a conversation with Eloise and she is taken by his humor, wit and shockingly deep empathy for the limitations society puts on women. They continue to gravitate to each other through the first few events of the season, but Emmett has to return home suddenly because of a family emergency. Eloise is shocked to find herself disappointed, but they promise to write. Cue the correspondence romance.

Eloise grows more and more smitten with Emmett every letter she receives, but still has the same reservations about marriage especially when she thinks of the intimacy a relationship like that would require. When Emmett hints that he may want more than friendship, Eloise's feelings get the better of her and she goes to visit Emmett unannounced. He is shocked to see her, but let's her stay and she gets to know his mother and two younger sisters. The Bridgertons go looking for Eloise, worried something has happened to her. When she is found to have been staying for days in an unwed man's home without a chaperone, the potential scandal causes Anthony to force Eloise and Emmett to marry. Surprisingly, Emmett actually agrees so Eloise does too (all of this is essentially what happens in the book).

Eloise confesses to Emmett that she's nervous/resistant to physical intimacy, but he assures her they never have to be together that way. In fact, he would prefer the marriage of convenience they always talked about. Eloise is relieved until their kiss at the wedding sparks an attraction she wasn't expecting. They spend the first month or so of their marriage sleeping in separate rooms, enjoying each other's company, and letting the tension build. One night, Eloise's control and curiosity finally snaps and she goes to Emmett's room to initiate a physical relationship. She catches Emmett off guard in his sleeping clothes which makes it VERY clear... Emmett is a woman (cliffhanger of episode 4, and where we deviate from book canon to make it queer).

After the initial shock, Eloise allows her new "husband" to explain. Emmett is really Emma, the daughter believed to have died in a carriage accident with her father so many years ago. It was her twin brother that actually died, but since there were no other male heirs, Emma's family fortune would have gone to a distant uncle who is cruel and abusive. To save them of that fate, Emma's mother conspired with the local coroner to make it look like Emma was the one who died, so "Emmett" could inherit everything. Emma has been living as Emmett ever since, successfully keeping up the deception by keeping a low profile in society. The only reason Emma came to London that year is because her uncle died, and a cousin had come around asking questions hoping to inherit. She thought getting married would help secure her identity as Emmett and the cousin would back off. At first Eloise is outraged. She feels betrayed by Emma's duplicity, and is terrified if any of this ever got out everyone they know would be ruined forever. She agrees to keep the secret to save her family's reputation, but shuns Emma. Eventually, Emma (already aware that she's in love with Eloise) attempts to make amends and Eloise is charmed enough that she relaxes back into the relationship they had before the Big Reveal. The only problem is the attraction is still there, even more so now that Eloise knows the truth. Things come to a head, and they go at it Bridgerton style.

Emma and Eloise live happily in a true marriage for a bit until Cressida and Penelope come for a visit. They both find out about Emma, but are sworn to secrecy. Pen easily swears her loyalty (having already suspected Eloise), but Cressida is sickened. In a rage, she threatens to out them all, and storms back to London. Eloise follows her and begs Cressida to keep the secret, and tries to explain why the "wrong" feelings she has for Emma are very right for her. To Eloise's surprise, Cressida isn't upset about what she's doing with Emma, but who she's doing it with. She didn't know what they're doing was an option; that she was an option. Cressida confesses that if she'd known a life with Eloise was a choice she could make, it's the life she would have chosen. Eloise lets Cressida down easy by explaining they didn't have that choice. Everyone in the ton knows who they are. The only reason her relationship with Emma works is because of the ruse that allows Emma to be Emmett. Cressida takes this in stride, and vows to keep the secret, but her mother overhears and causes the biggest scandal London Society has ever seen.

The Bridgertons and a few friends (like Lady Danbury) are as understanding as possible, but the rest of the ton is rabid. Things escalate to the point where Emma and Eloise have to appear before the Queen. Emma pleads her case about pretending to save her family, and insists that Eloise didn't know until well after they were married so she's innocent. Eloise can't help herself and gets on her soapbox about the way society limits women, and that the Queen should understand their plight. Shockingly, she does. She annuls their "marriage" (because they didn't consummate anything... RIGHT?!) but she agrees to let Emma control her family's estate until one of her sisters produces a male heir. After that, she and Eloise will receive a pension from the Crown so they can live independently (the real Queen Charlotte actually did this for suspected historical sapphic couple The Ladies of Llangollen). Since Emma and Eloise would never be able to find husbands now, they decide that they'll just be two spinsters growing old together in their house in the countryside. You know... just two gal pals. No one believes that shit, but they rarely interact with the ton, so they're largely left alone to live as they please.

Happy ending, close to canon, historically accurate, and super gay. It's not that hard. You're welcome.

#did i really just fanfic a whole season of Bridgerton to prove a point?#of course i did!#GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!!#bridgerton #eloise bridgerton #cressida cowper #creloise #eloise x cressida

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cherriesformatt · 2 days

Text

sand || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt surprised you with your dream date because he saw some tiktoks you reposted about it

warnings: pure fluff

word count: 1,3k

a/n: I saw this on TikTok and it was just so cute I had to write about it. Thank you guys for all the love under few last stories. I am really happy ily all! Remember English is not my first language so be patient with me! Now enjoy its so cheesy...

🍒

Matt told me this morning to get ready for a day because he is taking me out off town for a day. I was exited because the weather was beautiful today and it was so sunny and warm. May grey was making me wanna scream because it was so literally grey and foggy all the time so I was happy that sun was out (and if I'm lucky someones son is going to be inside me 😎 my fav joke to annoy matt). I wore a nice sundress and curled my hair. I did light makeup and I was waiting for Matt to pick me up. When he texted me that he was here I took my purse and sunglasses and went out. I locked my apartment and walked to the elevator that took me to the garage. I did not have a car so Matt always parked on my parking spot which came with my apartment. I smiled when I saw him leaning on his car.

"Hi..."I smiled at him and waved walking in his direction.

"Hi... you look beautiful baby" He pushed himself up and opened arms for me.

"So do you..." I smiled and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly.

He was wearing denim shorts, white nikes and sleeveless black tee. His tattoos were showing. I loved them so much. His hair was fluffy and he had sunglasses on them taking some of his hair back. He looked so good.

"Get in loser were going to the beach" He said again after I moved away and patted my bum.

"Aw great I am so happy... the weather is so beautiful today and did you just quote mean girls? Who are you?" I said and got into the car after he opened the door for me. We were standing on the passenger side anyways.

"I know how you love the beach in spring time so I decided we could have some time on a nice beach...Malibu? And thats your fault you watch it all the time"He smiled.

I loved going up to Malibu. And yes I did love mean girls.

"I love you Matthew" I said happily and he laughed and closed my doors and went to his side. I loved him the most tho.

While we were driving I connected my phone to the aux and put some music on from our shared playlist so I did not have to listen to Matt's whine about my songs.

"So I am thinking brunch, ice cream and then beach or do you wanna take food to the beach? I have some snacks and drinks for us too" He said.

"We can take food to the beach" I said and he nodded agreeing with me.

"Cos he was sunshine I was midnigh...."I looked at Matt so he could finish singing.

"Rain...."He sang and I smiled.

"Oh how world would love you for singing Taylor" I laughed.

"It is you special only, I am not singing to anyone else" He said.

"You're in a good mood today.... Chris and Nick didn't have a chance to piss you off today?" I put my hand on his knee and stroked it gently.

"They were still sleeping when I left but I told them yesterday that were going away for a day and yes I am in a good mood because I missed you and you are so cute in your dress and I am exited about our date" He said and also put his hand on my thigh and left it there.

"Aww do its a date?" I smiled.

"Yes, it's a date...." He smiled as well.

Whole drive we were talking and singing and talking shit about other drivers and people because thats us.

When we finally arrived at Malibu we stopped to get some food and then we drove to the beach.

"What's that?" I asked when Matt took a bag from the trunk after he handed me food and drinks along with a blanket.

"You will see" He said.

"Okay..."I said looking at him suspiciously.

We settled down far from other people so we could have some privacy just in case someone would recognized Matt.

"So... I bought this" He took out glue and canvas from the bag.

"Oh my god....Matt how did you know I wanted to do this?" I gasped happily knowing already what is it all for.

"I follow you on TikTok you know" He laughed what made my laughed as well. I forgot I must have reposted some TikTok about this.

"Can I make a TikTok from this?" I asked him.

"Of course you can but let's eat first because knowing us we will get glue everywhere" He smiled.

"Probably.... Matt thats so cute I can't believe... you're the best boyfriend ever and like I never had to beg you for a good date.... you always just do this out of nowhere and it's been almost two years" I said.

Time with Matt was my favorite time of my life. He was my everything and I don't even remember who I was before I met him.

"Well.. I am trying out here, so are you, you're the best" He put some of my hair behind my ear.

I got up on my knees and kissed him. I loved him so much and it was all so cute that I couldn't resist.

"Our food will be cold" He laughed in my lips and I peck his lips one more time and moved to sit down on my spot.

We ate and opened some drinks. Then Matt went to throw away empty food containers while I prepared the canvas and glue.

"Ready?"I smiled and he gave me his hand.

I put some glue on in and distributed it all over his hand with my own.

Then we sticked our hands to the canvas.

"I hope it's going to work" I said while putting sand on one when he was putting sand on other.

Then we cleaned the access of the sand and only our sandy hand prints were left on the white canvas.

"Oh it's so cute Matt! It worked" I said.

"It did... here, you write our initials on mine and I will on yours" He handed me pastel pink marker. Pastel pink was my favorite color.

I did what he said and on the back I left a little note and the date.

"Let's go cleaned our hands?" He asked and I nodded.

We went to clean our hands in the ocean and came back. After we packed everything we took a walk by the shore and came back to the car.

"Would you like to stay at my place tonight?" He asked while we were driving.

"Yes... you have to show me how much you missed me" I winked at him and he laughed.

"You're impossible" He shook his head.

I edited the TikTok and posted it. It was very cute and I sent a picture to the group chat we had with his brothers.

"Your brother just called you a lover boy" I said and laughed.

"He can fuck himself" He rolled his eyes.

"Oh Matty but you are my loverboy...."I looked at him with a big smile.

"I will drop you off in your apartment actually" He said and it made me laugh even more.

"Okay okay I am done" I put my hands up in defense.

"Thought so..."He said and put his hand on my upper thigh under my dress. It made my body cover with goosebumps.

I smiled.

"Thank you for today... I loved every second of it" I told him.

"Don't thank me just yet...the night is still young sweetheart" He winked at me.

"Oh my god, he winked everybody" I said and put my hand on my lips acting surprised.

"Okay that's it, you're walking home, I am stopping right here" He laughed.

"You love me too much" I said.

" You right, I do..."He said back and took my hand to his lips and kissed it gently and then left both of our hands on his tight.

I was the luckiest girl in the whole world.

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader

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atzaurora · 2 days

Text

먹다-"eat."

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

let them eat cake

member: ot8

pairing: fem!reader x idol!members (9th member au)

type: imagine (angst, fluff/comfort)

warnings: !!ED!! dni if you cannot cope with any topic about disordered eating or eds in general!

a/n: I thought about writing about mental health topics for a while now and decided to give it a go now. I myself struggle a lot with unhealthy eating habits and it might never go away so I think it's a great comfort story for all the people who feel the same :3 please know that you can text me anytime and you are beautiful!!! now enjoy ^^

here's my masterlist!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

"shit" you mumble, stepping down from the scale again only to step back on right away. 2 kilo more than yesterday, only if you hadn't eaten like basically half of the fridge in one go. but you couldn't help yourself.

staring at all the snacks, your stomach empty for at least 5 days. you had to.

so you ended up sitting on the kitchen floor, mascara running down your cheeks as you stuffed food into your mouth, more and more, till you physically couldn't fit any more into your stomach. exhausted from everything you went straight to bed, after cleaning everything up, making sure none of the others saw what had happened to all the food.

you didn't wanna be like this, starved, low on energy, no motivation for even the smallest things but you couldn't do anything against it. but you didn't tell anyone, in fact, your management was more than happy about how your body looked which only made you keep going, -1,2,3,4,5,6... you needed to loose more, the desire to lose more, now too big to stop.

you could see the others starting to notice, the way Seonghwa had looked into your eyes after laying his hand around your wrist, he could feel how thin it was. "honey are you alright?" he had asked. "I'm fine, everything is great, why would you ask?" you bluntly responded, that answer already being on autopilot by now.

he left you alone after that response, he didn't want to bother you, yet he knew something was wrong. and he wasn't the only one, everyone looked at you worried after you spit out yet another "I'm not hungry" when they offered you food. but it still worked. no one was brave enough to speak up and say that they knew you were in fact not fine.

today was another day of dance practice. a quite intense one actually, which was not the perfect combination to a 5 days empty stomach. but you had to pull through. everybody went into the car, Jongho getting in last and shutting the door as he drove you all to the company.

in the practice room, everyone set down their things, turning on the music and getting in position. standing up already made your vision go black for a few seconds, you didn't even wanna know what would happen if you did such an intense dance. but you guess you are about to find out.

the room was a whirlwind of activity as everyone settled in, stretching and chatting, the atmosphere a mix of excitement and exhaustion. You placed your bag in the corner, taking a deep breath as you tried to ignore the gnawing emptiness in your stomach. You could feel the concerned glances from the other members, their silent worry a weight you couldn’t shake off.

"Y/N, you okay?" Wooyoung’s voice broke through your thoughts, his eyes searching yours for any sign of truth.

"Yeah, just a bit tired," you lied, forcing a smile. "Ready to dance."

You moved into position, the music starting to pulse through the speakers. The choreography was demanding, each step requiring precision and energy you didn’t have. As the dance progressed, you felt your limbs growing heavier, your vision starting to blur. You pushed yourself harder, desperate to keep up, 'don't you dare give in now' you told yourself, but your body had reached its limit.

Halfway through the routine, your legs gave out, and you crumpled to the floor. then nothing. not a sound, no light, just complete darkness. you took it too far this time. fuck. the music stopped abruptly, replaced by the sounds of panicked voices and hurried footsteps. your vision and hearing then came back after a few seconds but everything was blurry, seemed almost unreal.

"Y/N!" San was the first to reach you, his face a mix of fear and concern. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I’m fine," you tried to say, but your voice was weak, barely audible. The room spun around you, and you felt yourself being lifted off the ground, strong arms carrying you out of the practice room.

Everything became a blur after that, a flurry of worried faces and hurried words. You were taken to the company’s infirmary, where a doctor checked your vitals, their expression grave.

"She’s severely malnourished and dehydrated," the doctor said, looking at the others. "She needs rest and proper nutrition immediately."

Hongjoong’s face was tight with worry, his usual calm demeanor shattered. "How could this happen?" he muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

You were too exhausted to respond, your body shutting down as you were hooked up to an IV. The room was quiet, the silence heavy with unspoken fears. You drifted in and out of consciousness, feeling a hand squeeze yours gently. Based on what you could feel you were pretty sure it was Wooyoung. you knew how his hand felt in yours and this gave you at least a bit of comfort in this moment.

When you finally woke up, you were back at the dorm, lying in your bed. The room was dimly lit, and you could hear soft voices from the living room. You tried to sit up, but your body protested, every muscle aching.

"Hey, don’t move too much." Yunho's voice was gentle as he entered the room, a worried smile on his face. "You need to rest."

You looked at him, tears welling up in your eyes. "I’m sorry," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I didn’t want to worry anyone."

Yunho sat down beside you, his expression softening. "We’re more worried about you than anything else, Y/N. We’ve noticed for a while now, but we didn’t know how to help."

"Why didn’t you say anything?" you asked, feeling a mix of guilt and relief.

"We wanted to, but we didn’t want to push you away," he admitted. "We’ve all been so worried."

The door opened, and the rest of the members filed in, their expressions a mix of relief and concern. Yeosang stepped forward, his eyes filled with determination.

"We’ll look out for you more, Y/N. We’re going to get through this together."

Tears streamed down your face as you nodded, the weight of your struggles finally lifting. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but with their support, you felt a glimmer of hope. You weren’t alone anymore.

Mingi handed you a bowl of soup, his smile encouraging. "Start with this, okay? Small steps."

You took the bowl, feeling the warmth spread through your hands. You looked at the soup for a bit, handing it back to Mingi, who gave you a confused glance. "can you do it?" you asked quietly. "you want me to feed you?" he smiled softly "sure sweetheart." he lifted the spoon giving you small portions to swallow.

the others sat around you, their presence a comforting reminder that you were loved and cared for.

For the first time in a long time, you felt a sense of peace. You had a long road ahead, but with them by your side, you knew you could face it. Together.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

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ana-snz · 2 days

Text

More thoughts on the recent snzblr discourse. I will try my best to be understanding and levelheaded about this, but this topic is very personal to me so forgive me if I’m not entirely able to.

I will start by saying that it is not “purity culture” or “moral panic” to say that having this kink does not excuse intentionally infecting unconsenting individuals with illness. There is a MASSIVE difference between enjoying a kink in a consensual setting or fantasizing about it (no one is saying you can’t do these things, you are not being shamed for your fantasies / desires!) and actually involving unwilling individuals in your kink.

Consent is the #1 most important thing in all kink spaces. Like yes we are all here for the same reason, and there may be a propensity to feel defensive if you feel you are being kink-shamed in what is supposed to be a space for us all to be as open and loud and unabashed about our desires as we want, but it is still absolutely crucial to delineate between what is fantasy and what is reality, and understand that our real life actions can and do have consequences. We are not living inside a sickfic, the ways in which we choose to engage in our kink MUST be consensual, respectful, responsible, and safe. It is the bare minimum for this, or any kink space.

It is not kink-shaming to say that non-consensual engagement is wrong and unethical, ESPECIALLY when it comes to something as potentially dangerous as illness. It’s also worth acknowledging that the dynamic of our community has been greatly impacted by COVID, just by the nature of what the kink entails, and that this sucks and is worth mourning, but just like with many other things the pandemic has impacted, we cannot hang on to this old way of being when it no longer is safe or realistic to do so. This is the way things are now, and it sucks, but we can still find SO much enjoyment and gratification and pleasure in the way things are now.

If you are feeling discomfort, if the points disabled people are bringing up around this topic are making you question yourself and your actions, that is likely something for you sit with and explore yourself, rather than trying to debate with disabled people on whether or not their reaction to inflammatory, ableist content is “moral panic”. Understand that this conversation is part of a much, much larger picture and that it is not isolated to just our community, but rather a reflection of a larger systemic response in which disabled people have been disbelieved, undermined, and discarded when it comes to our rights and safety during an ongoing pandemic.

If you didn’t read as much into *that* post as some of us did, great. You likely don’t have to be on hyper alert for this kind of content, but we see it all the time, everywhere. The casual downplaying of COVID and the flippancy about its risks are things we are all too familiar with, and tone policing marginalized folks when we get upset about harmful content is not the move. Listen to us, learn from us, be in solidarity with us. It may seem counterintuitive to you to care about these things in what many of us may see as just a place to escape and have a little fun, but respect is the backbone of kink spaces and we’d all fare well if we could remember that.

This was longer than I planned on it being, oops. I also blocked some people so I don’t even know who will see this but just wanted to add my piece. Love y’all bbs, stay safe ❤️

#snzblr #snzblr discourse #take a shot every time I say kink

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barcaatthemoon · 3 hours

Text

fade into you || lena oberdorf x reader ||

lena takes your virginity.

minors dni, 18+, smut warning.

not proofread because i have 30 minutes to get to work and still need to eat breakfast.

the move from manchester to bayern was a big one, but you hadn't made it alone. your older sister keira's best friend, georgia, had transferred with you. with georgia there, you practically had another older sister there with you. and it was great, up until you met lena.

the bayern and wolfsburg games were pretty intense, but you loved it. english soccer hadn't necessarily been physical enough for you, aside from your very heated games against arsenal. lena could match your aggression and put you on your ass if she really wanted to.

at first, there had been a couple of close calls. georgia had gotten herself carded arguing with lena twice before someone said something. after that, you had players like magda and pernille, your team mothers, who looked out for you instead. they were a lot more protective, not even letting the german player talk to you after games.

lena hated the way that they watched over you like a hawk whenever she was around. all lena had wanted to do then was talk to you, and she had to wait months before she finally had a good chance to do so. georgia had tried to step in to "protect" you whenever lena approached you after an international game against each other, but she wasn't nearly as intimidating as magda.

"(y/n)!" lena called out as she chased you down in the tunnel. you froze on the spot, unsure of what lena could have wanted with you. that game had been difficult to say the least. tensions had been high, and several players on both sides had gotten a little sketchy with some of their tackles and challenges. "do you mind if we talk for a minute?"

"you want to talk to me?" you tried not to sound so surprised, but you couldn't help it. lena nodded as she extended her hand towards you. georgia looked a bit angry as you took it, not noticing the looks from leah, lucy, and your sister behind her.

"i'd prefer to do it alone," lena told you as she led you away from everybody else. "i've wanted to talk to you for a long time, but there are always other players around. your friends don't seem to like me too much."

"they are protective. we have a tendency to go a bit harder after each other than anybody else," you pointed out. lena couldn't argue with you on that one. she admittedly did play a bit rougher with you than she did with other players. however, lena knew that sometimes that was what it took to stop you from trucking through their defenses.

"i like how you play. i can't wait to be on your team." lena rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. you studied her for a moment, just long enough to be distracted by her features. your eyes bounced all around her face and body, shamelessly checking her out a bit. "before that, though, i'd like to get to know you better. maybe we could go on a date when you get back to germany?"

"why wait that long?" you asked her. lena looked surprised, like she couldn't believe that you wanted to spend time with her so soon. "i won't be drinking with the rest of the team tonight, and playing cards in my sister's room can wait. you guys leave tomorrow night, and i think that leaves just enough time for us to go out together for a night."

"the whole night?" lena asked. you were quick to shake your head, but refused to elaborate any further. lena didn't know that you were a virgin, she couldn't have. not a lot of people actually knew that, and while you had been told that it was nothing to be ashamed of, you couldn't help but feel like you were lagging in your age group.

"i'd like to see where things go first. hooking up isn't really my thing," you said quickly. you hoped that it came off casually, but you knew better than that. you weren't that lucky, not when it came to relationships. you had only ever dated one other person, and it had ended so badly that you kind of thought you'd never date again.

…

naturally, as your relationship progressed, lena eventually learned about your lack of experience. she had been kind about it once you told her. a lot of things that you had done over the past few months made sense to her. lena had known that you were shy, but now she understood why certain things messed with you as much as they did.

"good morning." lena greeted you with a kiss as you walked into the kitchen. it was her first week in her munich apartment, and she had asked for you to stay with her. the two of you had been together for nearly half of your first season at bayern. now, you'd get to play at the same club together, so she would be there to keep you company instead of georgia.

"this isn't good for my german," you told her. lena shrugged it off and wrapped her arms around your waist as she pressed several kisses to the side of your face. "i really do want to learn, lena."

"liebe, you are doing fine with the german. relax, we practice together every single day. rest your brain for a morning, it will be fine," lena said. you sighed as your body sank back against hers. you hadn't been with lena for very long in the scheme of things, but you knew for sure that you were in love with her. keira had once told you that love was a feeling that often took you by surprise, and your feelings for lena had blindsided you early on in your relationship.

the two of you had expressed your love for each other in words before, but you wanted to do more. you wanted to give yourself to lena fully. the thought was beyond terrifying for you, but you also knew that lena was trustworthy. she would take care of you, just like she had been doing for months. more than that, you trusted lena fully and wanted to show her just how far your trust reached.

"what are you thinking so hard about?" lena asked you. her voice was full of concern, breaking the blissfully relaxed energy that had been filling up her room. you had been ready to tell her exactly what you wanted, but when you opened up your mouth and looked at her, your words died out on the tip of your tongue.

"i want-," you paused, unsure of whether or not this was the time. lena would never push you towards anything, but you hadn't considered whether or not she wanted sex from you. everybody around the two of you had made a teasing remark here or there about sex, only to be shut down by an extremely defensive lena.

"it's okay, take your time." lena pressed a kiss to the top of your head as she pulled you to rest against her chest. you gave yourself a couple of moments to relax where she had guided you. once those moments were over, you shifted so that you were sort of leaning over her. "everything okay?"

"yes, i just, need to ask you something. lena, i'd like to have sex with you," you told her. lena's normally expressive face went completely blank as she stared at you. a wave of panic overtook your thoughts, but lena didn't let it get far enough for you to retract your statements.

"this is a big deal, are you sure liebe?" lena asked you. it was true, this was a big deal for you. some of your teammates had tried to play it off as something that didn't matter, but to you it did. lena knew this, and she had been fully prepared to wait until marriage if that was something you had wanted. a part of her hadn't expected you to want to talk about it again so soon, but she was glad that you trusted her.

"yes, of course i am. i love you, and i want to show you that," you said sheepishly.

"there are other ways to show that you love someone. it's not like i can give you this experience back if you decide that i wasn't the right one." for a moment, you thought lena was trying to talk you out of having sex. that idea was promptly snuffed out whenever you finally looked her in the eye. lena looked almost to tears, but there was no sign of anything other than joy on her face.

"i'm sure. i want you, and only you." lena had never heard you speak with such confidence or conviction before. you were shy, always keeping to yourself or your very carefully selected circle of friends. "just, please remember that it's my first time."

"always, we will take it slow," lena promised you.

…

neither you nor lena had really brought up having sex again for the remainder of your stay with her. you had assumed that lena had forgotten, not that she was working on making the last night of your week together so special. for the most part, you had been completely oblivious until she was practically shoving you out of the house to go shopping with sydney and laura.

they were nice, but still very much lena's friends. you had a lot of fun with the girls, who had definitely talked you into spending more money than you meant to. by the time that you headed back to lena's, you had enough things to fill an extra suitcase.

"lena?" you called out into the apartment. it looked empty, but lena had obviously cleaned and rearranged a few things. you could see the table set very romantically, and you wondered for a moment if you missed some sort of anniversary. all of those thoughts were practically thrown out of your head when you saw lena walk out of her bedroom. "you look amazing."

"i know that we did not talk about this before, but i really want to be with you before you leave. only if that's okay with you," lena said. she brushed a strand of your hair back behind you ear as she stepped into your space. there was never an invasion with lena, she was always welcomed eagerly with open arms.

"i'd like that. i've been thinking about it a lot," you confessed. lena smiled as she pulled you in for a kiss. something told you that lena would have kissed you either way, but this kiss felt different. this kiss built to something bigger, something that your body had been anticipating for a couple of weeks now.

lena pulled back from the kiss to lead you to the table. you sat there a little awkwardly by yourself while you waited for her to return. lena had obviously put a lot of effort into the meal, preparing things that you recognized as supposed aphrodisiacs. you noticed the distinct lack of alcohol at the table, which lena explained away as not wanting anything to possibly taint the experience.

"how are you feeling?" lena asked you. she leaned back against the counter as she watched you put the last dish in the dishwasher. you had fought her about leaving the dishes in the sink for tomorrow and cleaning up, but lena relented in the end. she had rinsed a few of the pots and pans before you were even home anyway, that was enough help as you'd accept.

"nervous, but in a good way. i trust you though, just show me what you like i guess," you told her. lena smiled as she pulled you in for a kiss. this one was soft and sweet, a gentle press of her lips against yours. the next couple ventured away from that territory, right up until lena was pinning you against the counter by the kitchen sink and kissing you absolutely breathless.

"i'm going to find out all of the things that you like. maybe it'll take more than a night, but we have the rest of our lives to figure everything out." lena picked you up with ease and carried you into her bedroom. every part of the house had been done up for tonight, so it shouldn't have come as a shock to you to see the candles and flowers all over the room.

"you spoil me. what if i want this every time we have sex?" you asked her.

it was a teasing question, but lena answered you with complete sincerity, "then i will do this every single time. there is nothing i wouldn't do to make you happy."

"i love you," you told her. lena blushed as she pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"i love you too," she mumbled. you threaded your fingers through her hair and lifted her head up so that she was looking at you. she repeated herself, suddenly a little afraid that you hadn't heard her. you pulled her in for another kiss, opening your mouth almost immediately to welcome her tongue.

lena dropped onto her knees on the bed to lay you down gently. her body quickly covered yours once again, and lena slotted herself in between your legs. the two of you had laid like that before, but now it felt different. both of you knew where this was leading, and while lena would assure you that you could turn back whenever you wanted, you knew otherwise.

you were grateful for lena taking her clothes off first, even if you had been head over heels for the outfit. it was rare that you got to see lena out of her kit or the sweats that she liked to wear around the house. and while there was little hotter to you than lena walking around in a tank top and sweatpants, the black slacks and white button up that lena had worn for tonight drove you a little crazy.

however, you were glad to not feel quite so underdressed for the occasion. you hadn't changed from the jean shorts and t-shirt of lena's that you had worn out for shopping. lena had barely let you go whenever she saw you in her shirt that morning, but you had compromised with her by cuddling on the couch until laura and sydney came bursting through lena's apartment doors.

"can i touch you?" lena asked as she motioned towards your bare chest. she was almost completely naked above you, only wearing her underwear. your shorts were still on, lena slowly making her way down your body. your lips were bruised from kissing her, and there were little wet spots from lena kissing along your neck and jaw.

"please do," you told her. lena smiled, dipping her head down to press a kiss to the little dip in between your collarbones. lena's hands massaged your breasts as she littered kisses all over your chest. you could feel that you were wet, but you didn't want to rush lena. as many times as she had told you that this was for you, you had reminded yourself that this was also for her as well. it was your first time, yes, but it was also your first time together.

with each inch that lena moved down your body, you felt your arousal and anticipation grow. you were practically shaking by the time that lena finally reached your shorts. she opened her mouth to ask if you still wanted to continue, only to be met with you impatiently shimmying yourself out of them. lena had the tact to hide her amusement, but you didn't miss the little glimmer in her eye.

it wasn't the amusement that you had mistaken it for. after your show of enthusiasm, lena let her own eagerness be known. the kisses that lena pressed to your hips and thighs were messy, much messier than the ones placed on your chest. lena paused and sucked a hickey onto the inside of your thigh, barely an inch away from where you were practically frothing at the mouth waiting for her to touch you.

"mine," lena muttered sweetly as she ran her finger over the hickey.

"make me yours," you begged her. you weren't sure what had compelled you to say that, but if lena's reaction was anything to go by, it was the right decision. lena grabbed your thighs and held them apart. you heard her swear as she really got a good look at you spread out in front of her.

there was nothing that could have prepared you for the feeling of lena's mouth on your cunt. you had kissed her hundreds of times already, but her lips felt completely different between your legs. you blindly reached around for something to grab until you felt lena take your hands in hers. it was sweet and grounded you, distracting you from your rapidly approaching orgasm.

"i don't want to cum yet," you whined. lena lifted her head to look at you. there was something reassuring in her eyes, something that quelled the panicked thoughts about embarrassing yourself in front of her.

"it's okay, let it happen. it always happens faster than you'd like the first time." lena spoke gently, more so than you had ever heard her before. you closed your eyes and tried to only focus on the way that lena felt as her tongue moved between your folds.

you couldn't stop the moans and all the little noises that normally would have embarrassed you. lena hummed appreciatively at each noise you made, like all she wanted was to hear them again. the focus of lena's tongue switched from just lazily lapping at your cunt to zeroing in on your clit. you felt a finger press against your entrance, rubbing teasingly as if she hadn't planned on actually entering you.

"lena, i think i'm gonna cum," you warned her. lena just sort of squeezed your hand as she continued with a steady pace. lena didn't want to overload your senses, so she tried to keep things going a little slower. she paid attention to every little signal that your body was giving her, helping you reach your peak and work yourself through it.

"you did so good," lena praised as she littered your face with kisses. your cheeks were flushed and your chest was heaving. you had made yourself cum a couple of times before, but it was nothing like having lena touch you. the feeling of lena touching you made you never want to even try to get yourself off ever again. "how are you feeling?"

"i've never felt like that before," you told her. it was a good feeling, but you couldn't quite articulate that yet. lena nodded, seemingly in understanding, and cupped your cheeks to pull you in for a kiss. "i can't believe i didn't ask for that earlier."

"go on to the shower. i'm gonna put the sheets in the wash," lena told you. she tried to move away, but you clung to her like your life depended on it. "liebe, we have to clean up."

"yes, and you can come shower with me. then, when we're out, you can put the sheets in the wash while i pick out something to watch in the living room." lena wasn't going to argue with you, especially not when your plan included a chance to shower with her. you knew that you had won when lena didn't try to argue with you, so you pulled her out of bed and towards the bathroom. your legs were a bit shaky still, so lena held onto your hips to steady you the whole way.

#woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso smut #lena oberdorf smut #lena oberdorf imagine #lena oberdorf x reader #minors dni #minors do not interact

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joeshiestyslover · 20 hours

Text

fuck it i love you- c. sturniolo

pairing: fratboy!chris sturniolo x academicweapon!reader

summary: you and chris were on two completely opposite sides of the college spectrum. chris loves to party and hook up, and you love to stay in and do your homework. chris would never notice someone like you…right?

warnings: language, mentions of sex, angst, fluff, chris is lowkey an asshole at first but he gets better, reader is good at poker, some typos

masterlist

lowercase intended

you were never one for parties or large social gatherings in general. you are an introvert and very much a homebody, spending most of your time doing schoolwork or just lying in bed. because of this, you never made many friends as a child, and you especially never had a boyfriend.

chris was the complete opposite. chris loves parties and being around people. he can’t stand being in his house and doing nothing. since chris got to college, he spent most of his time at frat parties or hooking up with random girls. another thing about chris is that he’s never been the relationship type of guy. there was always an insane amount of girls that wanted him, but he never gave in, opting for random hookups.

you’re a sophomore in college and the only actual friend you’ve managed to make is your roommate, jasmine. she understood your introverted tendencies and respected them, but she was never afraid to urge you to get out of your comfort zone once in a while. right now, she’s trying to get you to attend a party that one of the school’s fraternities is throwing.

“come on y/n! it’ll be so fun!” jasmine begs. “i don’t like parties. i’d rather stay here and watch bridgerton.” you retort. “you’re always home and it worries me. you need actual human interaction. come on, please! i promise i won’t ask you to do anything like this again if you don’t have fun.” “i don’t know, jas.” you say skeptically. she gives you a look and you know she won’t give up until you go, so you give in. “fine.” you tell her with a roll of your eyes. she smiles and clasps her hands together. “yay! now let’s find you something to wear. i doubt you have anything, so you can borrow something of mine.” jasmine heads towards her closet and digs through until she pulls out a skintight light pink minidress. your jaw drops. “absolutely not.” “you’re wearing this y/n. it’s gonna look so good on you.” she walks over to you and throws it on your bed.

you pick it up and hold it against your body. “oh my god jas. my ass is gonna be on display!” you tell her. “don’t worry girl you have a great ass and you should show it off.” she winks. “okay the party starts in twenty minutes and we still have to get ready so come on.” jasmine leads you into the bathroom and does your hair and makeup first. she spends about half an hour on it before she finishes. you look at yourself in the mirror and gasp. “wow i look so good.” you smile at your reflection. “you’re welcome. now go get dressed.” you walk over to your bed where the dress lays and you quickly undress and throw it on, along with some clear wedges you had stuffed in the back of your closet.

jasmine finishes getting ready and she walks out of the bathroom. you both compliment each other’s looks before grabbing your purses and walking out of your dorm and towards jasmine’s car. you both get in and jasmine puts the car into drive, making her way towards the frat house.

once you both get to the party and you can hear the music thumping from outside the house. you can feel your palms begin to become sweaty and your heartbeat quicken. “jas i don’t know about this. what if something bad happens?” you ask nervously. “everything’s gonna be fine. i promise i’ll stick with you as long as you want me to, okay?” she reassures you. you slowly nod you head. you both then get out of the car and walk into the frat house. the moment you walk in, you can smell the strong scent of weed, alcohol, and sweat.

you look around and notice some people you know from your classes, all of them stoned, drunk, or both. your eyes continue to wander until you lock eyes with him. chris sturniolo. he’s easily the biggest asshole you’ve ever met. he was in your english lit class last semester and the only thing he did was show up late and extremely hungover. you can see his eyes trail down to your body and back up to your face. you roll your eyes and turn to jasmine. “we should get drinks.” you yell over the music. she nods and you both walk into the kitchen, where a vast array of drinks sit on the counter. you grab a beer out of the ice filled bucket where they sit, twist the cap off and take a drink. you look to your left and see jasmine flirting with some guy you’ve never seen before. after a few seconds, she turns to you and asks: “do you think it would be okay if i went with him? it’s totally okay if you’re not comfortable being by yourself. i’ll let him down and stay with you if you want.” you can’t help but smile at her. “it’s okay jas, i’ll be fine. i think i saw some guys playing poker and you know how much i love texas hold ‘em.” she grins and turns back to the guy and he leads her away.

you walk out of the kitchen and walk over to the table where a bunch of guys are sitting, dealing out cards. “y’all got room for one more?” you ask them. “you play?” one of the guys retorts. you nod. “yep. been playing since middle school.” “i guess we could deal you in.” he motions to one of the empty chairs. you sit as the dealer hand you the cards. you take a peek at the cards and see pocket aces. your face remains stoic as you look around at all the guys, trying to read their faces. everyone around the table checks, and so do you. the dealer puts down one card. about half of the guys fold, and a few of them raise, and of course, you match their bets. once again, everyone checks, and the dealer puts down the rest of the cards. you all then turn over all your cards, with you obviously winning. you smirk and gather all the chips to your side of the table.

before you can start the next round, chris walks over to the table. he claps one of the guys on the shoulders before his eyes find yours. he then walks up to you and you once again roll your eyes at him. “hey, what’s your name?” you ignore him and deal out the cards since it’s your turn. “c’mon don’t be like that.” he presses as he sits down next to you. you sigh and turn to him. “if i were you, i wouldn’t even bother learning my name, especially if you didn’t care to learn it last semester.” chris looks confused. “do i know you from somewhere?” you shrug. “wait,” he begins. “you’re that girl from english. the one that always asked a bunch of questions.” “guess so. do you mind? i’m in the middle of something.” you flip over the cards in front of you. “damn okay i see how it is. i’ll catch you later though.” he stands up out of the seat and you flash him a fake smile. “i hope not.” you mutter before he walks away.

you continue to play for a little while longer, surprisingly having fun. you had to admit, tonight is going a lot better than you thought it would. after winning most of the hands, you decide it’s time to head out, so you get up and say bye to the guys you were playing with. you wander through the crowd, trying to find jasmine, but she’s nowhere to be found. she must have gone home with the guy she left with earlier, so you pull out your phone and order an uber. your feet begin to ache and you spot an empty seat on a sofa, so you take a seat. you scroll on your phone for a bit before feeling the couch dip next to you. you look up and see chris sitting directly to your right. you immediately look back down at your phone, desperately wanting to avoid another conversation with him.

“you know it’s dangerous for a pretty girl like yourself to be alone at a party like this. you never know what kinda creep will try and take advantage of you.” he smirks. “i think i can handle myself, thanks.” you say back, avoiding eye contact. “hey, i’m just looking out for you, ma.” you finally turn to look at him. “don’t call me that.” “well, you never gave me your name, so…” he trails off. “you don’t need to know my name.” you say coldly. “why not?” chris tilts his head. “i don’t know what you think you’re doing, but i’m not gonna sleep with you so find another girl to bother.” you snap. before he can respond, your phone goes off, signaling that your uber arrived at the house. without a word, you stand up from the couch and walk towards the front door, leaving behind a very shocked chris.

once you got back to your dorm, you took off your makeup and changed into comfy clothes. the moment you lied down, you fell asleep, but couldn’t help but think about the brunette boy that managed to get under your skin so much.

a week later, you’re at the campus coffee shop, where you work. today isn’t a very busy day, just a few tired college kids in desperate need of coffee. you’re cleaning the tables near the back when you hear the bell ring, signifying that someone had walked into the shop. “welcome in.” you say out of habit. when you look up, your eyes meet chris’ blue ones. you walk behind the counter and plaster on the fakest smile you could muster. “what can i get you?” you ask, trying to get him out as fast as possible. “hey it’s you.” he smirks. “yes it’s me.” you roll your eyes. “what do you want?” “well, y/n,” he reads your name tag, “i would like a cappuccino and your number.” you scoff at his request. “absolutely not. i made it very clear at the party that i’m not interested in being one of your casual hookups.” “i promise i’d make it worth your while.” chris leans in closer to you. “okay buddy.” you say, unconvinced. “come on, y/n-” “not interested chris, either pay for your coffee or get out.” you tell him sternly. now, he rolls his eyes at you. “fine how much?” he pulls out his wallet. “$4.25.” he hands you a $5 and says: “keep the change.” you nod and begin making his drink.

once you finish making the cappuccino, you put the lid on it and hand it to him. “i’ll pull you one day, you know.” he smirks as he takes his drink. “in your dreams.” you retort. “i’ll see you around, ma.” chris yells as he walks out of the coffee shop. you continue the rest of your shift, still not being able to believe the audacity that boy has.

over the next few weeks, chris has been coming to your work, trying to get you to give him your number, and you shut him down every time. “come on, ma, i’m begging you, just one chance, please.” he all but begs you. “no chris, now go away i have customers to deal with.” you walk toward the register, taking a customer’s order. “what do you have to lose?” he questions. “my sanity.” you say putting in the person’s order. “what time do you get off?” “5:30. why?” you raise an eyebrow at his question. “i’ll pick you up and take you to dinner.” you laugh a little, “sure you will.” chris doesn’t say anything and walks out of the store.

sure enough, 5:30 rolls around and as you’re packing up your things in the back, you hear the bell ring. you walk out to the front and see chris at the door. you freeze. you really didn’t think chris would actually show up. “what the hell are you doing here?” you ask. “well, you get off at 5:30 right? i told you i’d pick you up.” he smiles, but it’s not a cocky smile or smirk, it’s a genuine smile. you let out a breath, knowing you can’t get out of it now. “one date. that’s it. you fuck up, you don’t get another chance.” you tell him sternly. he raises his hands in surrender. “i can be nice when i want, you know.” “uh huh, i’m sure. where are we going?” you both begin to walk out the door and chris holds it open, you mutter a small “thank you.” “where do you wanna go?” “ummm” you think, “how about mcdonald’s or something lowkey?” you suggest. “sounds perfect.” he replies, leading you to his car and opening the passenger door for you.

the car ride is relatively quiet, a few comments being made here and there, but it was mostly silent. however, it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was actually quite comfortable. you both get to the nearest mcdonald’s and order your food. it comes time to pay and you begin to pull out your card. “don’t you even dare, y/n.” chris says before you can even get your wallet out of your bag. “chris it’s really not that big of a deal.” you try to reason with him. “no y/n. i’m paying. a gentleman doesn’t make the girl pay, especially not on the first date.” he explains. “okay fine.” you relent.

the rest of the night went much smoother than you thought it would have. chris was a total gentleman and you genuinely had fun with him. at the end of the night, he drove you back to your dorm, but before you left, he asked you out on another date and you immediately said yes.

of course, you still have your reserves because of chris’ reputation around campus, but you wanted to give him a chance. you walk into your room, and see jasmine sitting on her bed. “and where have you been?” she asks. “i was out… on a date.” you say sheepishly. “a date?! with who?!” she becomes interested. “ummm i was with chris actually.” you look down at your shoes. “chris sturniolo? don’t you hate him?” she tilts her head in a confused manner. “i did, but he surprisingly isn’t that bad.” i smile at her slightly. “okay girl just be careful with him. make sure his intentions with you are good before you get too attached.” jasmine warns and you nod at her words. “of course, jas.” you walk over to your bathroom to take off your makeup and get ready for bed.

over the next couple of weeks, you and chris have been hanging out constantly. you actually enjoy his company, and he enjoys yours. you’ve managed to learn more and more about each other. you now know that chris loves hockey, he’s a triplet with his two brothers matt and nick, and he has a dog back home named trevor. all of this new information made him seem like more of an actual person to you and not some asshole you shared one class with for a single semester.

you’re currently getting ready for a party that chris had invited you to. this was the first time you would show up to a gathering like this as a ‘couple’, and you’re a little nervous. you don’t know how people would react because you being with chris is probably the most unexpected thing to happen on campus.

just as you’re putting on your shoes, chris texts you that he’s outside. you say goodbye to jas, and as you’re walking out the door you hear her yell: “be safe! text me if you need me!” you walk over to chris’ car and see him in the driver’s seat. once you open the door, he looks over at you and his jaw drops a little. “whoa. you look amazing, y/n.” you blush a little. “thanks chris.” he smiles at you and begins to drive towards the party.

you get there and can already see drunk students stumbling out the front door, something leaning over to throw up in the bushes. chris puts the car in park and unbuckles his seatbelt. he then gets out and walks over to your side of the car, opening the door for you. he holds his hand out, and you take it. you stand up and before chris releases your hand, he leans down presses a light kiss to your knuckles. you giggle and begin to walk inside the party.

chris puts his hand on your waist and leads you over to the couch in the middle of the room. “i’m gonna grab us some drinks?” he yells over the music. “okay! i’ll be here!” you yell back, hoping he hears you. chris nods and turns to walk towards where you assume is the kitchen.

you wait for a few minutes, think it just takes a while to actually get to the drinks because of the large crowd of people in the house. you wait a little longer before deciding to go and find chris. you walk through the house and you can hear a group of male voices.

you turn the corner and see chris talking with his frat brothers, and you can’t help but listen in. “so how’s it going with that one girl you’re seeing, the smart one?” one of them asks. “her? there’s nothing going on with her. she’s just a hookup, nothing more. she means nothing to me.” he and his friends all laugh. you immediately lose your breath. you were so stupid to believe you actually meant something to chris. you should have listened to your gut, he’s just like all the rest.

you turn on your heels and walk out of the house, needing fresh air. the moment you walk outside, you break down, tears rolling down your cheeks one after another. you pull out your phone and call jasmine, knowing she’d come pick you up. the phone rings a few times before she answers, “hello?” “jas.” you say through your tears. “y/n? what’s wrong? what happened?” she immediately becomes worried. “can you come get me? i’ll explain everything to you later i just can’t be here any longer.” “of course. stay where you are, i’ll be there in a few.” you hang up the phone and look into the distance.

you then hear your name being called. you turn your head and see chris walking towards you. you look away, knowing that if you looked at him, you’d absolutely lose it. “y/n? are you okay? why’d you come out here?” he asks, completely unaware that you overheard his cruel words. “how could you chris?” he becomes confused now. “how could i what?” “do i really mean nothing to you? is getting into my pants the only thing you want from me?” you’re fighting the urge to sob. “of course not baby. who’s telling you that?” he steps closer to you and you step back, finally meeting his eyes. “you did! i heard you talking to your friends! about how i’m nothing but a hookup!” chris’ face drops. “baby no you got it all wrong. i didn’t mean any of those things i said.” “then why would you say it?! i can’t believe i trusted you! i really thought you were different, but you’re not! you’re just like all the other douchebags on this fucking campus!” you yell in his face. “y/n please i-” “save it.” you cut him off. you see jasmine’s car pull in out of the corner of your eye. “i never wanna see you again.” you tell him before walking to jasmine’s car and getting into the passenger’s seat. she swiftly pulls out and heads towards your dorm.

“what happened y/n? what’d he do to you?” she asks, worriedly. “i overheard him talking shit about me to his friends, about how i mean nothing to him.” you sniffle. “oh babe i’m so sorry. he’s such an asshole.” she reaches her right hand over to rub your back. “i should have known. i’m so fucking stupid.” you lean forwards and put your head in your hands. “no he’s stupid for not realizing what he had.” she reassures you. “i just wanna go home and go to bed.” you say. “of course, we’re almost there.” jasmine says as she continues driving.

once you get back home, you flop onto your bed, not bothering to take your makeup or clothes off. you just lie there and stare at the ceiling, thinking about chris. you thought about how sweet he could be, but it was all just a lie to get you into his bed. it’s bittersweet. you felt so humiliated, but you were glad you found out his true intentions before it was too late. you turn over and look at your phone. there are ten missed calls and about fifty text messages from chris. you shut your phone off, not wanting to deal with him right now.

the next few days, the world seems grey. you have almost no motivation to get out of bed. after a day or so, chris stopped texting you and calling you. you assumed he had given up, until he walked into your work holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a small teddy bear. you looked at him with sadness in your eyes. chris’ eyes are filled with guilt and regret. “y/n,” he begins. “i’m so sorry for what i said. it was wrong and i promise i didn’t mean it. i just didn’t want them to shit on you for dating me. it’s okay if you don’t forgive me, but i just want you to know that i truly am sorry.” he hands you the flowers and bear. you take them hesitantly and say nothing. you nod and walk away, leaving chris behind looking broken.

chris fell in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you. not at the party, but the first day he walked into his english lit class. he quickly thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. he wanted to go up to you so bad, but based on the dirty glares you would shoot his way every time he walked into class late, he thought you wouldn’t be interested. when he saw you at the party, however, he couldn’t resist, he had to talk to you. he definitely expected you to turn him down, but he vowed that he wouldn’t give up until you agreed to go on at least one date with him. when you finally did, chris knew he was a goner. you were pretty, smart, and funny. you were perfect. the feelings that chris had for you scared him because he had never felt this way before. he didn’t know what to do. when his friends asked how you two were doing, he panicked. he knew you would get shit for dating him because you two are so different, so he told them you meant nothing, which was the furthest thing from the truth. however, he didn’t consider how those harsh words would affect you. the moment he walked outside and saw you crying, his heart broke. chris fucked up. badly. and he won’t stop until you know that he truly is sorry.

after your shift you go back to your dorm and set the teddy bear on your bed and put the flowers in a vase with water. suddenly, your phone dings, and it’s a text from chris: please let me explain what happened. i promise i’ll tell you everything. you stood there and thought about it before replying: meet me in front of the coffee shop in and hour. you shut your phone off and sit on your bed. you hold your head in your hands before you stand up to change into one of chris’ hoodies that you took and some sweats.

about 45 minutes go by before you’re grabbing your phone and keys and walking out of your dorm and towards the coffee shop. once you get there, you see chris standing outside. once he hears your footsteps, chris turns his head and watches you walk up to him. he smiles a bit seeing you in his hoodie, and his hopes raise just a little.

“y/n. hi.” he says nervously. you just nod at him, not knowing what to say. “look y/n, i know i fucked up. what i said was horrible and i can’t excuse that i just… you scare me.” your eyebrow raises “i scare you? why?” you question him, confused. “because you’re so perfect. you have your life together, you know what you want, and i’m just me.” he says desperately.” you’re still confused. “but that doesn’t make any sense.” chris sighs. “fuck it. y/n i’ve been in love with you for a long time, and i know i’ve never said that and maybe now isn’t the best time to tell you that, but it’s how i feel. i swear if you give me one more chance, i’ll do better. i’ll be better. just please let me prove it to you.” chris begs. you stand there, shifting your feet. you bite the inside of your cheek as you process what he just told you. “you love me? you aren’t just saying that?” you ask. chris steps towards you and cups your cheeks with his hands. “i love you, y/n. i love you so much it’s honestly terrifying, but all i want is to be with you.” he looks into your eyes and you know he’s being honest. “chris.” you begin. “yes?” he asks, hopefully. “kiss me.” chris grins and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling into the kiss. you break away after a few seconds. “but if you ever pull some shit like this again, i’ll cut your dick off christopher.” he laughs out loud. “i wouldn’t expect anything less, ma.” he says before he leans down to kiss you once again.

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo imagine #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fluff #christopher sturniolo angst #christopher sturniolo fluff #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo

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hanni-bae44 · 2 days

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Title: Die For You (Seonghwa) Part 2

▶︎၊၊||။|။ 00:10 | Playing: Die For You by The Weeknd

Pairing- Seonghwa x Reader x Wooyoung

Genre- University AU, angst, fluff (warnings: alcohol, mature language, mentions of sex, an argument scene)

Word Count- 7.9k

Summary- Between your best friend who doesn't love you back and the guy that does, things get messy as you try to figure out what exactly your heart wants.

“So what exactly did Yunho say about me?” you settled on asking, attempting to flutter your eyelashes. Yeah, you were not taking this impromptu meet up as seriously as you should. Sure Wooyoung was cute but you felt goofy today and apparently he found it amusing too because he just smiled.

“Just that you’re his friend and that I had to meet you. He also mentioned that you studied biology but he didn’t exactly mention to me how beautiful you were. If I knew I’d be seeing you tonight, I would’ve dressed up more.” There was a hint of flirtation in his voice when he leaned closer, which caused heat to rush up to your cheeks. He sure knew how to make a girl flustered because the way he looked at you had butterflies running rampant in your stomach. “Enough about what Yunho said though, tell me about yourself,” Wooyoung began, as he took a sip of his drink.

“Um okay,” you sighed, not knowing where to start. “Well I’m in my third year. And like you already know, I’m studying biology. I want to become a science teacher. I used to tutor for two years and I guess a part of me just likes telling people what to do? I also just love the study of life. It’s so interesting learning how cells and organisms react and respond to external stimuli. And then there’s genetic code and ecology and it's just so cool how we’re practically all dependent on each other, you know?” you noticed how Wooyoung was gazing so intently at you and stopped yourself, “sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I? You probably don’t care. How about you? Tell me about yourself.”

“You’re not rambling at all and I do care. It’s actually nice to hear how passionate you are about your major,” he began. “A lot of people just go to college not knowing what they want or go just because they want to please their parents,” he paused momentarily and there was something in his eyes that looked rather dejected. “I know because I was definitely like that for a while. I was majoring in biology too. I was on track to be pre-med but I was miserable. I hated my classes and the labs but I tried hard to be the son my parents wanted me to be and make them proud. I was so miserable and lonely though that I even considered dropping out but then I met Yeosang over there,” he looked back at both his friends, “and he made me realize that life was too short to waste time pursuing a path I hated. He also made me realize my passion and what it was I actually wanted to do in life so I guess I have him to thank for my epiphany," he reminisced on.

You glanced back at your friends too and caught a glimpse of Seonghwa who was texting and you felt your heart sting. You loved him but there was no way you were going to mourn over what could’ve been forever; you had to move on. You were here with Wooyoung, pay attention to him, you mentally scolded yourself. You were enjoying his company and he was a great guy you could see yourself with if things went well. So, changing your attitude about this borderline date, you gave Wooyoung your full undivided attention. “And what is it that you wanted to do?” you asked.

“I want to become a professional chef. Or at least do something in the hospitality and tourism industry,” he admitted with a melancholic smile. “I know I just need to go to culinary school but I figured having a bachelors wouldn’t hurt and my parents still wanted me to go to college, so I switched my major to business with a minor in hospitality management. Thankfully after a while, my parents just accepted it and college wasn’t so dreadful anymore. I even joined Delta Sigma Pi too because of Yeosang and met those losers,” he joked and you found yourself smiling too, because he was so endearing in the way he talked and expressed himself.

As the conversation went on, you’d begin to realize that there was more to meet the eye. Wooyoung was really passionate about the culinary arts and even more introspective than you. His outer appearance was deceptive because although he was genuinely outgoing and silly, he was also a deep thinker and more earnest than you sought him out to be. Just hearing him talk about himself, you realized how hard working he was and how much self discipline he had. He was more wise than you thought too, so if there was one thing you’d learn while talking to him, he really believed in the saying that ‘your efforts never betray you’ and you found yourself standing by those words too.

As the night came to an end, you parted ways with Wooyoung and you guys even exchanged numbers. The rest of your friends split into cabs and you couldn’t stop smiling as you got into the cab with Yunho and Seonghwa to head back to their apartment south of downtown. Before you went out today, you had already decided you were going to crash at Yunho and Seonghwa’s shared apartment. Your car was currently parked at their place and you figured you’d drive back to your apartment tomorrow morning.

“So what do you think of Wooyoung?” Yunho asked from beside you as he manspreaded, forcing you to scoot over. You were practically squished in between the right side of the car door and your tall ass, big limbed friend. A heavy sigh escaped your lips.

“He’s great," you said, trying to get as comfortable as you could with Yunho's shoulder against yours. You instantly regretted climbing in first. The seatbelt was cutting into the side of your neck too and everything just felt uncomfortable. At least it wasn’t entirely terrible. At least the cab man wasn’t cheap and had the AC on at a temperature that wasn’t too cold nor hot.

“He’s a good guy Y/N.” Yunho insisted, lowering his head with a skeptical look in his eyes. It was almost as if he didn’t believe your words. What you said was the truth though, Wooyoung was honestly a great guy.

“I know," you enunciated. "I think I actually really like him,” you assured him while glancing over at Seonghwa who was texting someone (probably Seolhyun) on his phone.

Seonghwa peered up at your words, tilting his head to butt in. “He seems like the typical frat guy. Given how cynical you are, I’m surprised you even ‘like’ him.” The moment those words left his mouth, you scoffed. What did he know?

“Well he’s Yunho’s friend and I trust that he has good judgment. And just because he’s in a fraternity doesn’t mean he’s the stereotypical guys you see. If you just had one conversation with him, you’ll see. Also, I can make my own decisions, and Wooyoung seems like a good guy.”

“If you say so,” Seonghwa sighed, raking his hand through his hair. “You’ve only known him for what? Two hours? Just don’t be surprised when there's someone else.”

You glared at him. Did he not drink enough tonight? Usually two drinks was enough to loosen him up and he was always a fun drunk.

Yunho elbowed Seonghwa who was so quick to judge. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just in a bad mood because he asked Seolhyun to hang out tomorrow and she blew him off.” He then turned back to you, a hand on your knee. “I know Wooyoung looks like the type to play around, but he’s not. He hasn’t actually hasn't been with anyone in two months," Yunho bragged. "There's nothing to worry about."

“How impressive,” Seonghwa mumbled under his breath before going back on his phone. If he hadn’t told you about his gigantic crush on Seolhyun earlier, you would’ve sworn he was almost jealous with how judgmental and grouchy he was. You ignored his attitude.

“Good to know I won’t be a rebound,” you said comically towards Yunho. “What happened anyway? Did he dump her? She dump him?"

Yunho exhaled. “He dumped her. I didn’t really know his ex that well but from the moment I met her, I didn't like her. And you know me, I like everyone. And turns out, she only used him for his money. Poor Wooyoung, you know? He really liked her.”

“Hold up,” you backtracked. “You’re telling me he’s loaded?”

“Yeah, but he’s really humble about it. He doesn’t tell anyone. Hell, I didn’t even know until his birthday last year when he threw this huge party at his parent’s mansion.” Yunho was saying all of this as if it was no big deal, as if it was common knowledge.

And it left you in shock.

“You should’ve led with that when you told me about him last week,” you joked. “I would’ve agreed to meet him much sooner.”

“Yeah right, Mrs. true love over money. You didn’t even care last week when I told you about how he wanted to meet. You wouldn’t let money deter you from the guy you actually like but who knows, maybe you’d come to like Wooyoung more than you think.” Yunho was right. You didn’t care about materialistic things and would rather be with a guy you genuinely liked than a guy who had money.

But when the guy you liked didn't like you back, you had to move on.

“No wonder why he paid for everyone’s drink,” Seonghwa grumbled from beside Yunho. “What a show off.”

“He was just being nice.” Yunho glared at Seonghwa before turning to you. “Anyway, speaking of birthdays, what are you doing next week for your birthday?”

“I have a class then I have a lab,” you droned and Yunho nodded.

“Nothing afterwards?”

“I’m gonna take a nap,” you said as a-matter-of-factly and Yunho scoffed.

When you arrived at Seonghwa and Yunho’s apartment, Yunho handed you an extra blanket and pillow to sleep on the sofa. You always had your essentials at their place for nights when you crashed over so it was just the usual. Everything was going well until you realized you forgot to bring your pajamas. And you really didn’t want to sleep in your clubbing outfit.

Reluctantly, you walked towards Seonghwa’s room. You would’ve went to Yunho’s room but he was fast asleep, that fact evident from the snores you could hear from outside the hallway. It was so tense between you and Seonghwa earlier but you sucked it up since you had no other choice. You counted to three before knocking on Seonghwa’s door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he said from behind the door. "You can just come in, you know? You don't have to knock every time."

“Just to be safe," you said upon turning the doorknob. A flashback of that one time you almost saw him naked replayed in your head again and you felt heat rush up to your cheeks. You quickly shook that thought away. Thankfully he had pajamas on right now so no repeat of the event two months ago. "So um, can I borrow some clothes? I just don’t want to sleep in this outfit."

He immediately said “sure,” then rummaged through his dresser to toss you one of his t-shirts and basketball shorts.

“Thanks." You also gave him back his jacket, about to close the door when he spoke up again.

“By the way, do you really like that Wooyoung guy?” He asked as he grabbed the towel beside him to dry his hair. His demeanor was calm so you couldn't read him well. You chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying to come up with a decent response.

“Yeah, I do,” you settled on.

“I don't like him.” His voice was stern and you genuinely wondered what was going on inside his head right now because he had already made it clear how he felt about Wooyoung earlier.

“I know. But I do. So can you at least try to understand?”

Seonghwa sighed. “I’m only looking out for you. Some of Yunho’s friends are nice and all but that doesn’t mean they’re looking for anything serious and I’m just worried you’ll get hurt. You know I care for you right?” You appreciated him but just why did he always have to act like a nagging parent?

“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.” You tried not to show how annoyed you were. It was late and you were too tired for this.

“You know I love you right?” he began softly as he neared you, tossing the towel aside. He then grabbed your hands and pulled you into his chest, his arms around you now. “I’m sorry if I was being blunt today but it’s only because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

If only he knew that he was the reason why you were hurt in the first place. He could always read right through you— except for the times when he was the reason you were upset. It sucked how he broke your heart. And he wasn’t even aware he was doing it.

“I know,” you mumbled. You tried not to think about the heat of his body against yours because your top was really thin and it left you feeling him everywhere. It did little to stop your heartbeat from quickening so you pulled away. “I should go change now.”

Getting settled on the sofa, you tried your best to sleep but you couldn’t stop thinking about how you could hear everything Seonghwa and Seolhyun were talking about. The walls were paper thin and Seonghwa kept flirting and laughing at the things she said.

You used to be the one he called late at night and now she was the one he ended the night talking to. Granted, you were over at his place right now, and he didn’t need to call if he wanted to talk but still. The past week, his late night calls were short and now you knew why. He was busy calling another girl.

To soothe your uneasiness, you ended up texting your roommate-- NingNing-- about the events that occurred tonight and thankfully she was still awake, texting you while FaceTiming Mingi. They were apparently seeing each other now and while you weren't surprised, it still felt weird. At least they finally admitted it though, it was an agonizing few weeks of watching them sneak around and flirt.

After a while of texting and scrolling on your phone, you were about to call it a day when you received a text.

Wooyoung [ 1:02 am ]: hey, are you awake?

You [ 1:02 am ]: depends... is this a booty text?

Wooyoung [ 1:03 am ]: oh no, it's not I swear, I just wanted to talk

Wooyoung [ 1:03 am ]: I have a very important question to ask tho since you're awake

You smiled, pulling Yunho's blanket he clearly didn't wash from the last time you slept over towards your stomach. You half expected a flirtatious response from Wooyoung, but to your surprise, he was adamant that this wasn’t a suggestive text.

You [ 1:03 am ]: hit me with it

Wooyoung [ 1:03 am ]: so, do you like physics?

Who asks this question at 1 A.M.? you thought. You still responded, but the question was just so random, it threw you off guard.

You [ 1:04 am ] yeah, I actually have to take a few physics courses for my bio major lol, why?

Wooyoung [ 1:04 am ]: because according to newton’s law of universal gravitation, if I’m attracted to you, then you’re attracted to me.

Wooyoung [ 1:04 am ]: can you confirm? 😆

Wooyoung [ 1:04 am ]: sorry, was that lame? I just saw it online and I thought of you since you like science

You smiled, because it was indeed lame. But he was cute for that so you lied.

You [ 1:04 am ] nah it’s not lame. I think you’re attractive too, but shouldn’t you be sleeping right now? it’s late lol

Wooyoung [ 1:05 am ]: yeah, but I couldn’t stop thinking of you

And just like that, you ended up texting Wooyoung for the next two hours with a huge grin on your face, your eyelids heavy the whole time.

“Admit it, I was right about Wooyoung. I bet you regret not listening to me and meeting him sooner don't you?” Yunho asked with a smug look on his face. It was the next Friday now, and you and him were currently in the library together with your laptops open. You managed to finish one assignment but didn’t get much done because Wooyoung kept texting you which of course caught Yunho’s attention.

“Sure, whatever,” you waved dismissively towards Yunho, too engrossed in the conversation with Wooyoung to look up at him. You couldn’t stop smiling down at your phone while texting Wooyoung.

Ever since that day at the bar, you and him haven’t stopped texting each other. That night, there was no awkwardness, no silence, no overthinking. Conversations with him were so natural and easy. He even made you feel jittery inside because for once you weren’t bored and found the flirting fun. It made you excited. You wanted to get to know more about him and it was a new feeling. You’ve never met someone like Wooyoung before and it was like a breath of fresh air being around him.

The rest of your friends would show up one by one to the table you were at and wished you happy birthday as they came. Although you turned a year older today, it didn't feel as exciting as it did when you were a kid. It was just another day closer to wrinkles, menopause, and death at this point. If Yunho could read your pessimistic thoughts, he'd surely slap your wrist and call you ridiculous because he absolutely loved birthdays and saw the good in everything.

“Happy birthday!” Seonghwa said loudly as he gave you a back hug, making you startled. He laughed at your reaction before handing you a gift bag with some tissue paper. He stood tall and watched as you pulled out gift.

When you saw the Nintendo Game you had been hinting at for the past month, you squealed and jumped up to give Seonghwa a proper hug, thanking him over and over again before sitting back down.

You really were thankful. Not just for the game, but to have your best friend back. But good moments were fleeting, and it didn’t take long for reality to crash down again.

By the next hour, you finally managed to finish your pre-lab questions. Although the side conversations have never distracted you before, today it did. The majority of your friends were in the university's dance team and while you tried to support them when you could, you had class yesterday during the time of the concert and attendance was required.

Seonghwa managed to pull up the performance last night and forced it in your face, wanting to show off how well they did. And like the supportive friend you were, you watched it, and praised him knowing that Seonghwa, although confident in his skills, had his fair share of doubts and insecurities as well.

So it hurts.

It hurts that while you complimented him, he kept going on about how Seolhyun was the greatest addition to the team again like a broken record. Sure she was captivating on stage but you didn’t need to hear it 24/7. And as Seonghwa rewatched the footage again, you couldn’t help but notice how literal hearts formed in his eyes. It was like he was entranced, drunk on a love spell or something. And it was pathetic.

But then again, you were also pathetic. By now, you’ve come to terms with it. Seonghwa would never like you back. You just wished your feelings for him would go away already.

Wooyoung [ 2:44 pm ]: so what are you doing for your bday?

You smiled down at your phone. Wooyoung finally responded to your text after an hour. You guys picked up where you left off again which was the topic of your birthday. It had only been a week of texting back and forth so it was way too soon to tell him that it was your birthday. You didn't intend on telling him but then Yunho opened his big mouth so here you were.

You [ 2:45 pm ]: I have a lab at 6, then I’m going to take a nap lol

Wooyoung [ 2:45 pm ]: that’s so boring thooo

You [ 2:45 pm ]: it’s just another day, nothing special lol

And it truly was just another day. You were just going to turn a year older, there was no point in trying to celebrate although you had a feeling your roommate would probably try to pull something.

Wooyoung [ 2:45 pm ]: it’s your birthday, the day you came out into this world, it should be celebrated

You [ 2:45 pm ]: I guess

“You’re texting him now?” Seonghwa grimaced, his distaste for Wooyoung as clear as ever. You truly didn't get what was such a big deal because he knew you and him were talking. He had been acting like this for the past week now and it got annoying real quick.

“Yes,” you replied, raising a brow at Seonghwa. “Is there a problem with that? I like him.”

“No. But it’s just you’ve only known him for a week."

“So? You barely knew Seolhyun and you’re obsessed with her.”

“I'm not obsessed. And that’s different.” He pursed his lips. You begged to differ with how he managed to make every conversation about her, but you didn’t call him out on it, not wanting to look jealous.

“Do tell, because I don’t see how it is.”

“It just is. He’s a guy and you know how guys are. Not everyone is going to be like me or Yunho.” There Seonghwa went again being overprotective for no reason and you rolled your eyes.

“Hey man, trust Wooyoung has good intentions,” Yunho interjected and you agreed with him. Sure, a week of texting wasn't enough to say for sure, but you just had a feeling in your gut that Wooyoung was a genuinely good guy. And your intuition? Although wrong half the time, had its accurate moments too.

“Since you want to talk about Wooyoung, let’s talk about Seolhyun too," you challenged with a beaming smile, "You know how girls are like her are, what about her makes her any different?”

Seonghwa furrowed his brows and that was when you knew you got him right where you wanted him. Provoking him was fun, especially with how many jabs he took at Wooyoung these days. “What do you mean girls like her? What are you implying?”

“I don’t know, what am I implying?” You honestly didn’t know either but if he was going to act like a child, you were too.

“Guys, let's not fight,” Mingi butted in, attempting to ease the tension. You only narrowed your eyes at him.

“This isn’t a fight. I’m just simply asking him a question,” you sighed.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “Whatever, this is stupid. Let’s just drop it.”

You scoffed.

Of course he would brush this off. And to think, he used to be the type to actually want to talk about his feelings. You never thought the Seonghwa you knew would change so much. You thought you guys were close but you guessed not. He didn’t even tell you about Seolhyun the other day, considering how you had to hear about it from Yunho who half hid the truth from you.

So really, you shouldn’t be that surprised.

All your friends sucked at this point.

Or maybe your friends didn't entirely suck.

The moment you opened the door to your apartment and turned on the lights, your friends all jumped up and yelled “Surprise!” followed by a “Happy Birthday!”

You had just gotten back from your lab and you were going to take a nap but you supposed you could skip it for moments like these. You were so happy seeing all the people you were close with but then your eyes landed on a certain someone and your smile faltered.

Seolhyun was next to Seonghwa and you hated how picture perfect they looked together.

She was wearing a pretty pink dress too, one that made her look like a princess. It was your birthday yet it looked like it was her birthday instead with how she out-dressed everyone. Her makeup looked good too and it only made you more aware of how you looked right now. You didn’t need a mirror to know that you probably looked like a mess. You were sure there were probably still marks on your face from the goggles you had to wear during the lab. And you probably looked dead inside from the busy day you had. You then glanced down at your outfit and yikes. You wished NingNing would've at least given you a heads up about this party because the leggings and t-shirt you were wearing right now was embarrassing.

You mentally slapped yourself.

You let your friends sing and congratulate you before you went to change into a more appropriate outfit. You then found NingNing in the kitchen and pulled her over to a more quiet area of the apartment. She was always known for throwing a party every time there was an occasion and inviting a lot of people. And as much as you loved and appreciated her for all the complaints you received from your neighbors, she also knew about Seolhyun so just why did she invite her? You asked her, and she frowned apologetically.

“I’m sorry, Seonghwa brought her and I couldn’t just say no. She’s on the dance team too and it would’ve been rude if we didn’t invite her since most of your friends are on the team. It’s not so bad if you think about it. I actually talked to her earlier too and she’s really nice, you should give her a chance.” She tried to get you to cheer up too as she clung onto your arm but it didn’t work.

“You sound like Seonghwa,” you droned and she grimaced. You were going to need a beer.

“Are you having fun?” The voice of Mingi took you by surprise. He stood beside you with his own beer, solemnly looking around the party filled with mostly friends and a couple people you didn’t know.

“Not really," you sighed as you leaned against the counter.

“It’s because of Seonghwa isn’t it?”

You choked a little as your eyes widened. You straightened your back then turned to him, nudging his elbow. “What?”

Mingi grinned. “You’re not good at hiding your feelings as you think but don’t worry, I’ll keep it on the low.”

You raised a brow, having a slight suspicion your roommate liked to tell her boyfriend/ not-boyfriend your secrets. "Did NingNing say something?"

"Nah.” He smiled dubiously before taking a sip of his beer. You truly hated how men were sometimes with their short and clipped responses. You were going to ask him to elaborate when he spoke again. “Wooyoung’s not the guy Seonghwa painted him out to be earlier in the library by the way. I think he’s just confused right now. Has a lot on his mind.”

“I know but what do you think he’s even confused about?”

Mingi shrugged. “Things. He’s just oblivious sometimes.”

You understood and replied to that by taking a sip of your drink.

Mingi didn't linger around much longer before NingNing called him over. You sighed as you watched him walk away before scanning the room. You only wanted to look for someone to talk to when you made the grave mistake of making eye contact with Seonghwa. Before you knew it, he was gesturing for you to walk over to where he was near the hallway.

You heard Seonghwa call your name and you just froze. You couldn’t even act like you didn't hear because you’ve already locked eyes. You didn’t move but within a few seconds, he walked over anyway. “Meet Seolhyun,” he introduced, and you tried to smile. “She’s the one I was telling you about on the dance team.”

“Hi.” You hoped your lazy smile masks your lack of interest.

“Hey girl,” she beamed, going in for a hug, almost spilling your beer. She was also holding a beer too but she handled it better. You had to awkwardly put your arms to the side, trying to hold your beer at a distance. “Happy birthday! Seonghwa has told me a lot about you. You’re a biology major right? How’s that going for you?”

“Good.” You could’ve asked her about her major too but you honestly couldn’t care less.

“So did you go to our performance yesterday? We performed a medley of Hip Hop songs and Seonghwa over here was amazing,” she glanced over at him and they smiled at each other. You genuinely wanted to puke right there on her pretty sparkly heels.

"I was busy," you said but you doubt she even heard you with how much she loved to talk, going on about the performance with Seonghwa. You admired the way Seonghwa looked at her. It was the same way you looked at him if he ever cared to notice. It wasn't until Seonghwa patted your shoulder that you realized you weren't even paying attention to a single thing they said.

“I’m gonna get myself a beer, I’ll be right back,” Seonghwa announced before walking away, and right as he did, Seolhyun dropped the act.

“You like Seonghwa don’t you?” She folded her arms and sized you up. If only her fake lashes weren't lifting up from the corner of her eyes. Maybe then, you would've been more intimidated. Instead, you raised a brow and remained composed.

“What?”

“Oh cut the bullshit, I know you like him.”

“We’re just friends,” you tried to say calmly but she was less than pleased with your response.

“He talks a lot about you. You know, at first I thought he liked you but then I realized that it was just you who liked him. I know you guys are friends and all but if you know what's good for him, you'd back off and keep your distance.”

“Can you chill? I don’t know what you’re talking about. And we’re just friends so you can have him.” And you meant that. Although you liked him, you would never try to ruin his thing with Seolhyun after you knew how much he liked her.

“Fine then.” She straightened her posture then flashed a beaming smile. “Nice necklace by the way,” she complimented, eyeing the silver heart necklace that fell in between the clavicle bones on your chest. She then scanned the room. "Can you hold my beer for a second? I just need to fix this clip in my hair. Please?" She asked nicely with a pout, holding out her drink.

Against your better judgment, you said "sure" and tried to grab her drink only for her to drop it, causing the bottle to shatter into pieces as it landed on the floor. The liquid spilled all over her heels while it splashed onto yours. You winced at the noise while she stumbled back. It wasn't like the music in your apartment was loud either, so everyone heard the noise and her dramatic yelp.

All the attention was on you and Seolhyun now.

"Are you okay?" you asked, but the second you noticed her expression change, you realized what she was doing and regretted ever trying to be civil with her. A tear now trailed down her cheek and she looked as if she was about to cry.

“Look, I know it’s your birthday and all but you don’t have to be so mean. I only wanted to try on your necklace, you could’ve just said no instead of knocking the beer out of my hands." She covered her face with her hands and before you knew it, she was full-on sobbing. Seonghwa immediately ran to her.

“I swear I didn’t do that. She did it herself.” You tried to defend yourself but you knew it was a lost cause the moment you met Seonghwa's eyes. He looked at you with disgust as he pulled her into his arms. You rolled your eyes at how Seonghwa was buying this whole act.

“And why would she do that? What’s up with you lately? You’ve been so snappy these days. And now you go and do this?” Seonghwa raised his voice as he held her in his arms. All you could do was look blankly at him. He has never raised his voice at you before. You didn’t let the fact that he called you snappy in front of everyone deter you from defending yourself either.

“Nothing’s been up with me,” You said calmly. "This is just a huge misunderstanding. I really didn't do that."

“You should apologize," Seonghwa said sternly and once again, you were annoyed with him for always telling you what to do. You couldn’t believe how he was actually taking her side when he didn’t even know the full story or bothered to ask.

Regardless, you stood your ground. “I’m not apologizing for something I didn’t do. You’re really going to believe her over me?”

“Well I definitely don’t believe she would drop the beer all over her new shoes.”

Seolhyun looked back at you with 'fear' in her eyes and you had to laugh. This was your apartment, why were you even putting up with this? You were going to kick her out when the front door abruptly opened and Wooyoung walked in. You didn't expect him to come but you supposed Yunho had something to do with it.

A part of you was glad he came but now? Right in the middle of this stupid argument? You made eye contact with Wooyoung and he smiled softly at you. You tried to mirror his smile but yours turned out weak due to Seonghwa's accusations dampening your mood.

"Happy birthday, sorry I'm late, the traffic was bad and then I saw a stand with flowers and I wanted to get you a bouquet. Yunho said you liked roses right? I hope it's not too soon." Wooyoung rambled as he placed the gift bag and roses on the coffee table. He then glanced around the room and noticed that everyone was quiet and staring at him like he was a ghost. The only noise was from the faint music at this point and it didn't take long for him to realize that something was wrong.

Rage filled your blood as you met Seolhyun’s eyes again but you remained collected. You couldn’t believe Seonghwa was actually defending her and raising his voice at you in front of everyone at your birthday party. The Seonghwa you used to know wouldn't do this. And you weren't about to argue with him anymore. You placed your own beer on the counter before spitting one last thing, “You know what? I don’t care anymore. Believe her all you want but that's not what happened. The both of you just need to leave.”

You didn't bother to spare them another glance before storming off to your room and slamming the door.

You weren’t going to cry but you were definitely pissed at the whole situation being so unfair. You paced back and forth in your own room, not knowing where to go from here. How long would you even stay in your room before going outside again? It was going to be awkward with how everyone witnessed Seonghwa raising his voice at you and taking the new girl’s side.

It wouldn’t even be a full minute before you heard the door open and you slapped your head for forgetting to lock it. "I told you to leave," you exclaimed, expecting Seonghwa but to your surprise, it was Wooyoung and your tone softened. "Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

"It's okay," he stuck his head in with a soft smile. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

Wooyoung stepped in with the bouquet of roses. "Like I said earlier, I hope it’s not too soon but happy birthday.” He handed the bouquet to you and watched as you placed it onto your desk. After what just happened, Wooyoung really was like a breath of fresh air. He managed to ease your nerves while making your heart touched as well. "I heard what happened before I came too and I just wanted you to know that I believe you'd never do that to her without a good reason.”

Great, so did everyone believe you actually knocked the bottle out of her hands now?

"Thanks, but I really didn’t do it," you sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed, encouraging him to do the same. "I just wish my friend would believe me." You glanced down at your lap and picked at your cuticles. A part of you wished NingNing never planned this surprise party in the first place. Maybe then you’d still have your dignity and Seonghwa wouldn’t have humiliated you in front of everyone.

“I believe you.” The sound of Wooyoung’s soft voice made you glance over at him. He smiled genuinely and placed a hand over yours to stop your fidgeting.

“Thank you.” Your mouth went dry and you cleared your throat, avoiding his gaze. You didn't even have to look at him to know he was smirking.

"I like your room, by the way," he began, eyes taking in your walls full of posters and random pictures. You glanced around your room and it was a mess with all the decorations and stuff you hoarded. You couldn't help but think back to Seonghwa who always nagged at you to clean your room. It was definitely not a pretty room at all but you thanked Wooyoung anyway.

"Something catch your eye?" you asked, noticing how he was fixating on your shelves full of mostly romance books. You loved to read stories where people fell in love and got their happy ending. Because despite being cynical, you’ve always believed in true love and yearned for that through your collection of books.

"Do you read a lot?" He made his way towards the shelf and pulled out one of your dark romance books, flipping through it. Out of all the young adult and thriller books you had, why did he have to pick the one with the most explicit content?

"I try." You nervously chewed on the inside of your cheek. "But don't be impressed or anything. It's just romance stories, some thriller here and there, nothing educational." You let him do whatever until his eyes began to scan a page and he smirked, raising his eyebrows at you. That was when you snatched the book from him, realizing that out of all the pages he could've flipped to, he managed to land on a scene where the two main characters were being intimate.

"These books seem very educational to me. They’re fun," he teased. "Is this the type of stuff you're into?" He could not stop grinning as he stared at you. For the nth time that night, you were embarrassed, feeling heat rush up to your cheeks. You chose not to respond as you slipped the book back to its spot on the shelf. “Oh come on, I was joking,” he exhaled, “Are you mad?”

“I know. And I’m not.” You avoided his eyes.

Wooyoung chuckled before pushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You're cute when you're shy, you know that? And since I haven’t told you yet, you look absolutely beautiful today.” He then cupped your cheek, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Should we go outside again? I bet your friends miss you. You are the main event after all. Birthday girl.” His breath hits your skin and your swallow was thick. A smirk tugged at his lips before his hand fell back to his side and he stepped back, leaving you absolutely flustered.

After a few seconds you finally managed to think again. You took a deep breath before leaning against your bookshelf. "I know I can't hide in my room all night but it was just so embarrassing how my friend took her side when he didn't even bother to ask me what happened. Does everyone really think I’d be that petty to knock a beer out of her hands? It’s my apartment after all and I’d be the one that’ll have to mop up the stickiness later.” You rambled, hoping Wooyoung would at least take your side.

“They’re your friends aren’t they? I'm sure they'll understand if you explain the situation.”

“It's still embarrassing,” you groaned.

Wooyoung reached for your hands, pulling you closer towards him. His breath fanned over you as he softly asked, “Do you trust me?”

“I barely know you.”

“Then get to know me." His eyes flickered between your lips and eyes as he wets his own lips. You were almost sure he was going to kiss you as he stared at you. But he didn’t. The only thing you felt was the squeeze he gave your hand. “What do you say?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you smiled back at him.

Wooyoung then reached for the door knob when it abruptly swung open, causing you to jump, your free hand flying to your chest to calm your beating heart. Wooyoung was calm amidst it all and let out a small chuckle at how easily frightened you got.

Upon seeing who it was, you grimaced. Never have you actually been more annoyed to see Seonghwa. "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend right now?" you asked, bitterness laced in your tone.

“We need to talk," he insisted, ignoring your question. His eyes drifted to your hands that were currently intertwined with Wooyoung's and he cleared his throat. Avoiding Wooyoung's presence, he only looked up at you. “We weren’t done talking earlier.”

“What's there to talk about?" you genuinely asked as you let go of Wooyoung's hand. "You won’t believe anything I say anyway so why don’t you just leave?”

“Can we talk alone?” Seonghwa was unyielding, glaring at Wooyoung now who heaved a sigh. You could tell Wooyoung was the type to bark back but for some reason, he held off.

Wooyoung took the hint and smiled at you before leaning towards your ear. “I’ll be waiting outside when you’re done.” And something about his low voice gave you butterflies.

When he left, Seonghwa turned back to you with the look of an overprotective father who caught a boy sneaking into his daughter’s room. “So what? You and him made out?”

“None of your business." You crossed your arms against your chest. “Just say what you want to say and leave.”

“Fine. You should apologize to Seolhyun, you made her cry.”

You scoffed, as if it was your fault.

At this point, you didn’t even care to be affable anymore. Not when he was acting like he was the boss of you. “Is your hearing okay? I meant it the first time, I’m not apologizing for something I didn’t do so you’re wasting your time with us ‘talking’ because I can assure you, this conversation will go nowhere.”

“Why do you always have to be so stubborn? You know I like Seolhyun so just why can’t you try to be nice and get along with her? You used to be so supportive for me, what happened to you? She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“I still am supportive for you." Your brows pulled together. "I really didn’t spill her drink though. She did it herself.”

“You need to stop lying.”

“I'm not lying." You were raising your voice at a wall at this point. "Just why can't you believe me? You didn't even bother to ask for my side of the story before running to her. You've known me for over two years now while you barely know her yet you just trust everything she says? How do you think that makes me feel?"

“Not everything is about you.” He exhaled. “Look, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you’ve been different the past week. You’ve never been like this before.” He rubbed his temple, seemingly in a train of thought. “It's because of that Wooyoung guy isn't it? I knew it was only a matter of time before he’d rub off on you.”

“What does he have to do with this? I’ve only known him for a week so he hasn’t rubbed shit on me. And for the last time, I didn't spill her drink. We were just talking about you, she said she liked my necklace, and then she just dropped the beer herself.” Your blood was boiling with how he wouldn't even listen to a word you said. It was like Seolhyun had him wrapped around her little finger.

“That's not what she told me." He crossed his arms against his chest and pursed his lips.

“Well it's the truth." You clenched your jaw. You were all worked up now, and before you could even filter your thoughts, you just spoke your mind. "She’s a liar Seonghwa, just when will you realize it? But then again she's pretty so of course you'd do anything to get in her pants even if you know I'm right.”

“So that's why you've been acting like this?" He lets out a small laugh, tilting his head back as he poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "You're jealous that she's pretty? Is that why you knocked the drink out of her hands? That's real low Y/N, even for you."

"Trust me,” you fumed. “I am not jealous of her." It was a lie, but you weren't about to lose the argument now.

"Doesn’t seem like it to me.” He lets out a deep sigh. “I'm really trying here but you just keep lying. All we do is bicker these days Y/N. What happened to us?"

"I could ask the same."

Seonghwa nodded before snapping. “You know what? You were right, this conversation is useless. Let's just end it here because it clearly isn't going anywhere. I don't know what happened to make you like this recently but jealousy and this new attitude of yours isn’t a good look on you.” He looked you dead in the eyes one last time to say, “Happy fucking birthday,” before slamming the door in your face. Seonghwa rarely cursed, so when he did, that was when you knew that he was really mad. Although you said some mean things too, it was only because he was being unfair. You felt so betrayed.

So much for your special day, you thought. And you didn't even need to confess your feelings to him for the memories of him to taint your birthday.

You never thought loving someone could hurt so much. Tears filled your vision as you stumbled to the edge of your bed. You felt like your world just collapsed because for the past two years, Seonghwa was the constant in your life, the one you went to for advice, the one you leaned on.

And now he was someone else’s.

[ Series Masterlist | ⇨ Part 3 ]

Taglist- @thunderous-wolf @kookley77-blog @huachengsbestie01 @tinyteezer @vnessalau @potatos-on-clouds @minghaoslatina @dmnspiit @wallaiea @vampzity @yunhogrippers @cookiesandgravy @stfu-rina

A/N- Sorry for taking forever to update if anyone is even reading this lol. Also peep the NCT quote if anyone caught it hehe. Anyway, take care everyone and remember to drink lots of water, love you all <3

#seonghwa angst #wooyoung fluff #seonghwa fluff #ateez fluff #ateez angst #wooyoung angst #seonghwa x reader #ateez x reader #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung scenarios #seonghwa scenarios #ateez oneshot #ateez fics #ateez fic #ateez imagines #seonghwa imagines #wooyoung imagines #ateez scenarios

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thesummerestsolstice · 17 hours

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I have seen multiple Silm fics now where Elrond ends up taking in/becoming lord of the remaining Feanorians after M&M's deaths. I think this is a great idea for a few reasons:

All the remaining Feanorians are diehard followers who aren't fit for civil society and I think Elrond is the only one who can stop them from choosing violence

They're probably pretty fucked up and could use the attention of Middle Earth's best healer (physically and mentally)

If the Feanorians are busy making sure Elrond sleeps enough they'll have less time to scheme and do crime

Elrond has a highly-competent Feanorian bodyguard, Elrond spends most of his time with Gil-Galad, therefore, Gil-Galad effectively also now has a highly-competent Feanorian bodyguard, which is a good thing given what tends to happen to high-kings of the Noldor

Smiling sunshine Peredhel being followed by an escort of the scariest imaginable murder elves will never not be funny

That said, I feel like we don't talk enough about how absolutely insane that would be from an outside perspective. Like the twin sons of a Nolofinwean prince and a Sindarin princess show up in your camp having been stolen from their home and held hostage by Feanorians for deacdes. This is the first time they've been free since they were six years old. Even if the hostages thing wasn't really true after a while it's still absolutely what everyone else would assumed.

And then later the Feanorians show up looking pathetic after their last lords die. And all of a sudden one of their former hostages is volunteering to effectively put himself in their custody again. There was no way that did not set off every imaginable alarm bell for most of the people in Gil-Galad's camp. I'm pretty sure most of them assumed that Elrond had been brainwashed and was willingly becoming a Feanorian prisoner/hostage again (rumors not helped by him constantly being trailed by the scariest murder elves in existence). A few of the others probably thought Elrond was doing it as part of some long-haul revenge plot against them. You cannot tell me everyone was just okay with him doing that. That is a situation made entirely out of red flags.

#silmarillion #silm headcanons #elrond #elrond peredhel #kidnap fam #kidnap dads #feanorians #elrond bby what the fuck are you doing #I support him but still #Gil-galad probably had to deal with so much bullshit because of the peredhel

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compressingsins · 1 day

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|| Deceiving Intentions

Yandere Nanami x chubby animal hybrid f!reader

Warnings : Obssesion, partially forced relationships, slight manipulation, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, aggressive Nanami, reader goes into her first heat, slight physical contact, overprotective Nanami, Nanami is a little mean for a while, overstimulation. This is a smutty fic, MDNI.

"I've loved you for so long, okay? When I had the luck of being awarded for you at that place, it felt as if I was saving you. And ever since, I've wanted you to love me just as much as I love you. Do not question my love, I will always love you. It wasn't just the sex talking, I'm in love with you."

Hi guys! Here's another post, and I really enjoyed how this one turned out. Hopefully you all enjoy it too, because it was very fun to write!

Please do not copy or rewrite my works without my permission. 🫥

Life felt almost too unreal. You lived in a world where your kind were treated like nothing, just like the historical books you would read. The things you could do in life were limited, and your kind was scared of this forsaken world. People bought your kind, sold your kind, traded your kind for better versions of you. If you were bought, you'd either be a full time house cleaner with no payment, pretty much a slave to the person who purchased you.

That's why you were thankful to have grown ups in this village. A sanctuary where your kind resides. Human hybrids in every different shapes and sizes, living life freely amongst each other. Here, nothing could harm you in any kind of way. Plus, no human dared to come from the big cities just to mess with you all. There were fully bred hybrids, which were hybrids with all the human stature but everything else was an animal, a creature of some kind.

It was normal to you because well, you are one of them. Except, you're the extremely rare kind. You're a dog hybrid, but you didn't have all the aspects. You only had a set of fluffy ears and a dog like tail that could easily be hidden. Which is why it was so easy for you to get in and out the city. You could wear pants to hide the fact that you have a tail, and a hat or hood to hide your prestige ears. You had ears a top your head, and the set of normal human ears on the sides of your head.

That's how you knew about the historical events of slavery. You're able to hide your animal features and go into library's to read books that recorded the past. Even in the books, your kind was around long ago and treated the exact same way. Not only that, but most slaves were your color as well, brown beautiful skin that glistened in the sunlight. You didn't know why humans hated your kind so much, but you weren't going to risk having the conversation.

Slavery to brown skin people was long gone so that's something you didn't have to worry about, but slavery to human hybrids was still very much alive. You would think being the year 2020 that all slavery was dead, but the government just can't help but be afraid of your kind from not only looks, but because they think life wouldn't be civilized with you all in it. They think you all couldn't hold up to their expectations, because you have animal in you.

They fear you all could go feral and use those instincts on humans and that may be true, but you know that instincts are in every breathing creature that walks this earth. So you didn't think that'd be a problem, but that's not for you to decide. Everything in your village, however, was perfect. You lived like anyone who was civilized would, having breakfast, sometimes lunch, and then dinner. You did everything like a human would do.

As far as you were concerned, your life was perfect. Your people were great at crafting, so all the buildings that you resided in were built with hardly any tools. You had brick walls, metal walls, living modernity and it was all because your people knew the way to do so. Your people even had paint, so the buildings and house were all different colors. Plus, you had clothing stores, but you all had no money. Your people hunt in exchange for clothes, furniture, utensils, and more.

And what made it more fun was that it was just activities that you all loved, hunting, fishing, and so much more. After all, you had animal in you, so hunting was just in your nature. You decided that you would go into the city today, Sendai City. Your tribe was very discreet about its location, so trying to find it was hard for most people. You always made sure to cover your tracks when you leave, so that's what you did.

It was early in the morning, maybe around eight o'clock in the morning you would say. So you had so much time to enjoy the day. You made sure to have on pants that held your tail down, and a hat a top your head to cover your ears. You were ready to go into the world of the humans, to see what new things they had to offer today.

...

September 12th, 2020 - 8:42 a.m.

It was the middle of autumn, here you were in the city now seeing normal people obliviously walking around you. They couldn't even tell that you were a human hybrid, but that wasn't for them to know. Everything was going great, the cool wind in the air accompanied by the beautiful sounds of birds chirping. You never knew that the world of humans could look so peaceful when they weren't worrying about your kind.

The only thing you really wanted to see is the new aquarium that you've heard about in the newspapers that you sometimes read, when you're visiting here.

There were so many things to see here, but you didn't want to stay too long because your tribe would be wondering about you all day long. So you just decided that you would ask someone for directions to the aquarium. There were lots of people, but you decided that you'd rather ask a woman. There was a woman with brown hair, next to a kid who had pink hair and also a guy with black spiky hair. They were arguing, but you decided that you would approach them carefully.

First you cleared your throat, "Um, excuse me? Hello?"

The woman with the brown hair turned to you, with a slightly irritated look on her face. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Do you know where the new aquarium is? I don't recall its name, but I just know it's an aquarium that was recently opened." She looked at you and nodded like a light clicked in her head. "Oh you do? Do you mind giving me directions there, if it's not a problem?"

"Nah, it's no problem. So first," She started as she stood close beside you, pointing straight ahead of you, "It's really not too fair, just a couple blocks down the street that way. And then you're gonna take a left."

You smiled and thanked her, "I appreciate your help—uhhhh?"

"Nobora. And that's Yuji and Megumi. We'd join ya, but we're on our way to see our sensei for training."

"Oh, it's fine I'm only gonna be there for about 20 minutes and that's it." You didn't have a lot of time so you just went ahead and started to be on your way, "Sorry to rush off, but I gotta go! Maybe I'll see you guys again!"

The woman formerly known as Nobora waved back at you, watching you jog to the aquarium you were previously talking about. It didn't take you long to get there, however, so here it was. You were standing in front of the aquarium, but you decided not to go in. Why, well there was a sign to the left of the entrance.

"Everyone should be able to enjoy the aquarium, right? That's why we have a window view of our aquatic creatures, come check them out for FREE!"

You were excited, running to the left of the aquarium to see this ginormous window displaying each and every animal in there. There were dolphins, seals, whales, crocodiles and more! You carried a journey with you everywhere, so you pulled it out and started writing about everything you saw. Every fish, amphibian, reptile and more. You've never been so excited in your life, smiling from ear to ear.

You even sketched how the animals looked that way when you get home, you can ask all your elders about them. You know they have stories so you couldn't wait to ask them about 'em. Closing your journal, you decided that it was time to head back home. You smiled at the animals once more before turning to leave. It was still the morning time so you weren't worried, you know you weren't gone that long. You had a peaceful walk back home, until you heard screaming in the distance.

You knew exactly where it was coming from, so you decided to run as fast as you could. "Shit, oh no!" You couldn't think of how this happened so quickly, you were only gone in the matter of thirty minutes. As you approached your village, you saw how there were masked men attacking your people, not killing them but injuring them. You knew it wouldn't be smart to try and fight people who were wielding swords. You sat in a bush behind a tree, shaking.

It hurt you to see your people getting slaughtered in broad daylight. You knew what this was though, another raid but you just couldn't tell by who. They weren't very apparent about who they were, since they were wearing all black outfits. You held your breath, hoping that they didn't get into the underground sanctuary that you guys previously made due to raids. It was underground in one of the houses, hidden very well. It was agreed that the wine and children were to go in there and the men stay out and defend their honor, if a raid happens.

You couldn't spot any women or children so you guess they were safe. You continued observing everything, watching your people fight their hardest but still falling. You could see that this was another "taken," that y'all called it. It was when your people would get taken back to the city in shackles, to get auctioned off to rich men and women. They took more hybrid men than women due to the nature of believing a man is superior to a woman.

Blood was no longer being shed, all you could hear was the people chattering and your people groaning from pain. You could hear them saying that the buildings were clear, and that there were fifteen men who were in shackles at the moment. That meant some of the men were down there protecting the women and children. You signed of slight relief, but still you dreaded when these raids to place. You were relieved until—

"Unless you want those ears to be cut clean off your head, you better not move, abomination." A sword was on your shoulder, threatening to slice you up. You gulped harshly, feeling a bead of sweat rolling down your temple. "Turn around slowly, or I'll kill you right here." You did just that, showing this person you weren't a threat. You could tell by the voice that it was a man. "Oh—what do we have here? You're one of those rare hybrids, I see. Shit." You saw how he rubbed his crotch, indicating something you didn't want to think about. "There's no one around. Wanna be a good girl and bend over for me? You're so chunky and plump. I wonder how well that ass will take me in doggy."

Your entire body shuddered from fear. He tugged on his trousers until he pulled them under his underwear, showing you how hard he was.

"Hey! Leave that damn hybrid alone, we're only doing this for a paycheck, not lawsuits. It would be rape, and that's not what the fuck we're here for you asshole." You were literally sighing of relief when this person came to save you, and you could tell it was a woman. She pushed him and made him stumble, "Get back to the group and gather up the hybrids. We're going back to the city to auction them off, understood?"

The man walked away grumbling under his breath, sounding like he was cursing her for not letting him act on what he was planning to do. She gave her hand to you, helping you stand and sheathing her sword. "Look, if it wasn't my job I would let you go. But I have a family, so you have to come with me, okay? Just cooperate and—everything will be fine I hope. Here, just put your hands behind your back..."

You weren't going to fight against her, so you just followed along. She shackled your arms together, before walking you towards the rest of the group. There was some kind of large vehicle parked a distance away from your village, enough to fit a lot of people inside it which you assumed your people was already in there. And you were right, the woman escorted you to the vehicle and pushed you gently inside, you just took a seat beside one of your people. They all looked at you in disbelief, knowing they couldn't believe you got caught. But no one dared to say anything.

And neither did you.

...

9:37 a.m. - Auction

You couldn't believe you were here, getting bidding on alongside your family. They were being bought pretty rapidly, and mostly by women. You were the last one, now, standing there listening to the auction man talk about you like a prize winning bull.

"Ah, yes, the rare hybrid. Look at her, isn't she beautiful?" He spoke about you like you weren't even there. You saw how all the men lit up like flames in a pit fire, betting high on you. "She's gorgeous. Men, she could clean your entire house, cook you dinner, hehe—if you tame her right!" They shared a laugh with the man, staring at you like vile beasts. "I guess we can start the bid at 10,000 dollars, yeah?" Everyone agreed, and you hated that. This was disgusting, it made you physically sick to your stomach but you held it in. "Come on, who wants her? She could even get your wick wet if your wife ain't cutting it, am I right fellas?!"

You wished you could fight, but there was nothing that you could physically do. Your arms were tied behind your back, so your only option was to stand there without saying a thing. Then the numbers started flying out of their mouths. There were— 20,000 , 30,000 , 40,000 , 50,000 , 60,000 , 70,000's and more! The last number was 100,000, which was just outrageous.

"100,000 going once, going twice, and so—"

"500,000 dollars."

Not only did your eyes go wide, everyone audibly gasped aloud and turned to see a tall man with blonde hair, shades on, and a stylish suit. He was staring you down, like he's been eyeing you for some time now. "Woah, that's the biggest bid we've EVER had! 500,000 going once, going twice, and sold to the tall blonde man!" Everyone clapped as he won, like he was winning a prized possession, but you however was just filled with defeat.

He walked towards you, completely towering over you which frightened you quite a bit. He stared down at you from above, before grabbing a hold of your bicep. Your entire world just felt like it came crashing down, all sounds and voices being almost non existent. All you could see was your feet walking until you reached another vehicle, this was really real. You never thought you would be in this situation, but you guessed it didn't feel real until it actually had happened to you. The man pushed you inside and closed the door after you. He then went to the other side and closed it behind him.

The sound of an engine is what made you look up. The ride was quiet, he didn't say anything and didn't acknowledge you at all. It's like you weren't even there. Out of no where, it began to rain, and that was the only sound that was heard on the inside and outside of the vehicle. You were still shackled, hands tied together in an uncomfortable way behind your back. You didn't know how long the ride was, only that it didn't take you long to get to the destination he had set for you two.

You saw a house that was in a secluded area. It was a pretty decent size, medium and cozy looking. He pulled his vehicle into a pathway that was made of what looked like to be concrete. You were familiar with a bit of human creations, so you knew that it was concrete. But that wasn't important, the man turned off his vehicle, and stepped outside of it. The rain had died down but was still very apparent. He walked over to your side and opened the door for you. He grabbed your arm gently and pulled you out, closing the door behind you and locking it. That's when he pulled you with him to walk up to his home, you were assuming it was his at least.

He let your arm go momentarily as you two stood before the door, digging in his pocket to pull something out. It looked like a set of keys that he fiddled with until he found the right one that was able to fit into the keyhole. He turned it and pushed the door open, pulling you inside then closing and locking the door behind you both. He let your arm go and walked away, only to turn on a light before he came back to you. He stood before you, observing everything about you with an unreadable look.

He had another key in his hand, "Hands." He said, watching as you slowly and hesitantly lifted them up. He grasped the shackles and put the key in, turning it which opened and dropped to the floor. Your hands were free, you were happy he released you but you were still afraid of him. "Nanami." He saw how your head tilted in curiosity, "My name. What's yours? You talk?"

You nodded and answered, "My name is ____."

"Hm." He grumbled, sounding like he was bitter for some reason. "Follow me." And you did just that. He was walking around, "This is my home." He told you, showing you around the place, showing you every room his house consists of. "This is your room. You live here now, with me. Your room has a restroom so if you need to use it, feel free." You hated the words, "You live here now," because you wanted to go to your home. His home was lovely, but you didn't feel comfortable here.

He saw how your dog ears drooped from sadness, but he didn't say anything. "Come on, let's go get you something to eat." You didn't muster a word, just followed him as he walked to what seemed to be his kitchen. "I will cook you something, take a seat." You did just that, sitting down and just staring down at the table before you. "How old are you?" He asked.

"22 in human years."

"Your kind uses dog and human years, too?" You just nodded, which he solely said, "Interesting." It was silent for a while, the only sound being from the equipment he was cooking with. You didn't know what he was making, but it smelt delicious. You wanted to ask him questions—so you did.

"Why did you buy me? And for so much money? Why do you humans do this to us? We should have equal rights just like you!"

He didn't seem phased by your outburst, he just kept cooking. But he cleared his throat first before coming to sit before you. He decided to take off his suit jacket, tie, and glasses. "I live in a home where I get lonely, no companionship from anyone. So before I die from the loneliness of depression, I was suggested something new. To buy a hybrid at an auction event."

"But why me specifically?!"

"Hm, that's quite easy. You're a rare hybrid. You have human in your dna, meaning that it'll feel normal living with you. It'll just be like I have a roommate. The walls of this home will be more live than before, and that's what I've been looking for." He was giving very stoic and unpleasant answers to you. "Secondly, I can't even tell you why humans do this to your kind. But nowadays, they're trying to make it mandatory that everyone has a hybrid to help around the house, become pretty much servants to a master."

It's crazy that everything just gets more and more worse for your people with each passing day. "So what, you bought me because it's the law? That you're supposed to have one of us?!"

He shrugged, "Maybe that, and because I have sympathy for your people." That took you a back, and he could physically see that. "I've come across hybrids before, never have I once felt threatened by one. But my voice alone won't change where the government stands with your race. And I'm not the only one who thinks that. There's a lot like me who wouldn't mind if you lived amongst us, but we have barely any say in the matter."

You stared bug eyed at him, listening to him speak about you in a way that wasn't bad which was a first. He stood up and went back to his cooking equipment.

"I have some students who want your race free so desperately but as I've stated before, our voices do not matter." Nanami continued cooking, neither of you speaking for the time being until he said something weird— "You're very beautiful. May I ask you how do your kind feel about a human mate?"

Was that what he wanted?

A hybrid companion?

Really..?

You were hesitant before speaking, "I—well honestly, I've never heard my people speak about that. I guess it's okay since some of us like myself have human in my dna. I'm guessing it comes with a great deal of trust."

"That's good to know."

That was all he said before going back to cooking. He was putting the food on plates, it looked like, and you couldn't help but feel your tail start wagging from how hungry you actually were. He heard it thudding as it swung back and forth against the chair you were sitting in.

"Hungry, I see. Here." He placed a lot full of food before you. You had an extravagant nose, so you could tell that it wasn't chicken, but duck with mashed potatoes, some kind of pasta, and a drink you've never seen before. He watched how you sniffed it like a dog would, placing his own plate in front of his spot so he could eat too. He handed you something, it was silver with an oval like end. "This is a spoon. You use it on your mashed potatoes and pasta. Like this."

He demonstrated, by grasping his own spoon and scooping up his food, placing it to his lips and eating it delicately. You looked down at your spoon and then your food, and tried to do the same thing but failed. You were holding it in an improper way, which made him cough up a small chuckle before standing. "First, you place it under your thumb and let it rest on top of your index finger. Then get a good grip on it so you're able to successfully eat your food without making it fall everywhere. Try it."

You did it and got the hang of it perfectly, wearing your food without your bare hands. Back in your village, that's how you ate, with your bare hands and no kind of utensils to assist you. The food was delicious, you had no shame to dig in once you got comfortable with eating it. He just sat back in his spot and began eating too, being very careful not to spill anything on himself and occasionally taking glances at you. He couldn't help it, you were godly.

So beautiful, so innocent. He knows that if you're part animal, that must meant you had all kinds of similarities to an animal. Like—heat. It intrigued him to know if you did or not, but he was certain you did. He wanted you from the time he saw you at the auction. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn't, but your brown skin was so beautiful. Not only that, but your thick thighs were breathtakingly gorgeous. He saw how you looked when you stood up, and your stomach was so beautifully round that he wondered how it would feel for him to caress it while making beautiful love to you.

You were thick everywhere and he loved it. He just wondered if you were experienced in the areas of sex. Even so, he was already obsessed with you and didn't want anyone or anything coming near you. You were too perfect, too innocent for this world. He just met you but he felt as if you've been with him all of his life and now, he didn't want to let you be with anyone but him. "You know, ____, I have lots of questions for you but right now, I cannot stay very long. After we eat, you will head to your room. Then, I shall leave for the majority of the day but I will be back."

You heard him but you were still digging in on your food so that's what you were focused on. It wasn't long before you were done, and he finished his food right after you. He stood up and grabbed both plates, throwing the scraps in a bin and placing the plates into water on some kind of counter. There was a mechanism that leaked water once he pulled some kind of lever. He let the plates sit in the water before grabbing some kind of cloth and wetting it. He walked over to you and placed a hand softly on your head, lifting it back and wiping around your mouth, cleaning you up.

"Now come, you're going to your room." You couldn't believe how gentle he was, but you weren't complaining because it made you less afraid. He even held onto your hand and walked you down to your room. You both walked inside as he pointed towards the bed for you to sit which you did. He kneeled down beside you and picked something up off the floor, and showed it to you. "This is a collar. When I'm not here, you're not allowed to leave this room, understand?"

You just nodded at him which made him softly smile. He stood up and walked over to something that looked like it was storage of some sort. On top was some kind of device. "This here is a television. It's for entertainment purposes, therefore, I'm going to leave this on for you, every time I leave, okay? What would you like to watch?"

You didn't know, though. So you shrugged and asked him, "What kind of entertainment does this offer?"

"Lots of entertainment. There's these programs called tv channels and genres of entertainment. From romance, to comedy, to action, adventure, nature, and science fiction. Out of those, did any of them catch your attention?"

You thought for a minute before nodding, "I've always been interested in nature. Can—can you please put on a nature channel?" He nodded and did just that. The channel was literally called nature and it was documenting all kinds of animals.

"This will be on the entire time I'm gone, okay? I'll be back later." He walked over to the door and left, closing it gently and walking away. His footsteps became less and less heard until there was nothing but the television being heard. You didn't know why, but everything here felt so comfortable. It was warm in the room, your tail was wagging, and a small content smile was spread on your face. You didn't know if you liked being here or if it was just the little moments you just shared with Nanami.

The television show was talking about all kinds of animals, lions, tigers, giraffes, monkeys, so many. Since you were in the walls of your village all of your life, you didn't really get to explore the beauty's of nature until now. It enlightened excitement in you. You decided that you would give the bed a try, lifting the thick coverings and getting underneath them. It was weird because at home, your beds weren't like this. You had coverings, but the bed wasn't held up by a structure like this. It held your weight too, and that amazed you.

But what amazed you more was the television channel you were watching. "That's a big cat, wow!" You were ever so content, having a feeling of bliss from how nice this was. You wondered now. Did your family who were captured get to live like this? Or were the stories of them being servants to humans true? You guessed it could go either way, depending on if they feel the same way that Nanami does or not. You were, however, hoping that your family was safe though, especially the other women and children.

Your mind is flooded with so much. Too many things happened in such a short amount of time, so you were wondering what time it was. You didn't know why that was the only question you were wondering, but it was. It felt like the time was going by quickly rather than slowly, but you didn't know whether you should complain or not. This man took you in and fed you, gave you a bed to sleep in, so you were kind of happy for the time being.

This was either a good thing or a bad thing, but you knew it was smart to still be cautious of him once he returns home. You're not saying he's a bad man but with your history of humans, you just don't know if you could completely trust him.

Only time would tell, though. You just hoped he wouldn't change and become just as bad as the people he was speaking on.

November 15th, 2020 - 7:41 p.m.

It's your third month living with Nanami, and you could only think how much better things have gotten for you. He treated you like a princess, caring for you and spending nights with you when he was able to. You have noticed how he was trying to get closer to you, asking you questions like, "Do you see me as a potential mate?" or saying things like, "You're so beautiful, ____. I sometimes wonder how you don't have a mate." You honestly weren't interested, though.

And he knew that...

But it didn't stop him from trying. He knew the way he was treating you was just distracting you from the fact that he purchased you three months ago. He knew that with the right words and actions, you'd start to realize that this was better for you. He fed you manipulating words, saying how this is where you belong, safe and sound with him. He thinks you need him, that without him, you wouldn't be able to survive. Even though before him, you managed life without him oh so perfectly.

He knew so much about you, now too. He now knew that you had a heat cycle. That it was coming very soon. He didn't care what it took, but he was going to help you with it. He calculated it all but he knew that since you were part dog, that your heat starts around every 3-4 months. Either you were in it right now, or you're going to go into it pretty soon. That's why he's been keeping an eye on you, making sure you don't need him in such an intimate way.

All he knew was that he didn't have to wait long. Maybe not even another day or two, and that enlightened him. You were in your bedroom, sleeping soundlessly as he walked around your home, cleaning everything up. He was dressed for the night, wearing just a tank top and pajama pants, ready to turn in when he was done with everything. Every time he was home with you after dark, he left your door cracked so he could monitor you. And as he passed by your door, he could see you kicking in your sleep, whining like you were having a nightmare.

Slowly, Nanami approached your door, peeping inside to see how your skin glistened from how badly you were sweating. Nanami pulled the door open softly, careful not to make too much noise as he entered. He walked cautiously towards you, going to the left side of the bed where you were facing. He hated the distress over your expression, but you looked so breathtaking as your body shivered. He knew what was happening. It wasn't a nightmare nor a night sweat, your heat had started in your sleep.

"I'll be damned." He muttered under his breath. He could feel how his dick sprung to life from the sight. You looked so beautiful, your smooth brown skin glistening from the moonlit sky. "____. Are you awake?" By the way you softly snored, Nanami could tell that you were asleep still, but he just couldn't contain himself anymore. He slowly pressed one knee on your bed, trying to softly get on top of it. The movement from him caused you to stir, making you turn over onto your back, facing away from your previous direction.

He straddled your stomach, looking down on you in the most admirable way. Nanami leaned closely to your face, turning it to face him so he could softly caress your warm cheek. "So beautiful..." He whispered, just before he hesitantly leaned closer to your lips, kissing you gently and slowly. He was getting feral, feeling how his heavy dick weighed down and layed against your belly. He grounded his hips against yours, kissing you even deeper than before. His tongue worked its way with invading your delicious lips.

The urge to just fuck you was derailing his mind, his thoughts practically screaming at him to just rearrange your insides. But he's a gentleman, he didn't want to deflower you... he knew you were a virgin. He found that out with some—investigating he did while you were asleep. Nanami was losing his breath and he could tell by the way your face was turning red, that you were too. He pulled away, seeing how much of your shared saliva he got all over your mouth and his own. Licking his lips, Nanami held his body up above you, his hands firmly planted on both sides of your head.

You looked so sweet, so innocent, so venerable.

He just couldn't harm you.

He just decided that he would wake you up.

"____, darling. Please wake up." But you still didn't flinch, so he decided that he would nudge your shoulder. Pushing against it to wake you up. He smiled seeing your eyes flicker open, "____."

Confusion was what he expected, your eyes being wide open from not only seeing how close he was, but from feeling how close you were. "N—Nanami? What are you doing?" You could feel him pressing against your heated clitoris, throbbing harshly and hotly against you.

"I know you're in heat. I would love to help you with that, if you would allow me."

You didn't realize it straight away—but this is the first time you've ever been scared of Nanami. The reason being was that he was invading your VERY personal space, you being asleep and he was all on top of you. "Why didn't you just ask me about it? I can't—I just don't know what to think now."

"I know you're afraid, but I just couldn't help it. I didn't do more than this, if that's what you think, darling. I respect you too much to do that to you."

You were silent, your eyes looking away from him trying to distract yourself from the hard cock that was throbbing against your covered heated clitoris. You knew you were in heat, but you didn't want to tell him about it because you didn't know how he'd react. Yes, he has been asking you very intimate questions about your body, but you thought it was just for the fact that he was interested in your kind.

You felt a warm gentle hand grasp your face, turning your head to face him in an oh so soft way. You could see the adoration in his eyes, he didn't want to hurt you. He was in love with you, the way his pupils dilated from just looking at you and thinking about what you wanted. He wasn't acting on anything else until you said something. But since you weren't speaking, he spoke up first to grab your attention.

"____, I'm very sorry for barging into your personal space without your consent. I just couldn't stand to see my baby having a hard time, with no help." He adored you in every way, you could tell by the way he would slowly observe your entire face, slightly licking his lips as he wondered how he got so lucky. "I won't do anything you wouldn't want to do, okay? So if you want me to leave then I'll—"

He was preparing himself to get off of you, but you didn't let him, grabbing him by his forearms and shouting, "Wait, Nanami!" You didn't know what this sudden burst of want was, but you needed him there. It was more than likely because of your heat, you wanted to hump everything you could including his hard cock. "I—I want you to help me. This is my first heat and I just want you."

Nanami smiled softly before laying back on top of you, positioning his heavy cock to rest comfortably against your pulsing clitoris. He wasted no time in kissing you, swallowing all your small whimpers before he began to drag the underside of his dick against your sensitive pussy. He knew what he was doing and he knew what you wanted, moaning loudly in your mouth which made you begin to buck your hips with his.

You felt how his body tensed a little, which showed just how sensitive he was as well. His cock was pulsing every time your clit rubbed against it, the veins in his cock only stimulating him with more sensitivity. But you wanted more, you patted his chest a couple of times which made him pull away from your luscious lips, holding himself up to stare down at you which a visible tent of pink painting over his cheeks. "What's wrong, do you want me to stop?"

Shaking your head, you answered with a no. "Can I take lead? I want to just—ride you?"

Oh, you were so innocent. He saw how serious and desperate you were, so he pulled himself up. "Up." He commanded, which you instantly did. "Good girl." You moved out the way, watching as he layed on his back in your bed. You couldn't help it, you had to had been staring at the big tent in his pants for a while. It was huge, throbbing, and you could see a wet patch at the very tip of it. You guessed you turned him on more than you thought.

"First, we're going to partake in some foreplay. I want you to feel as good as possible, ____. Come on, baby." Nanami pulled his pajama pants down, kicking them completely off and being left in only his underwear and tank top. You could now see how hard he was, his red tip being visible through his thin boxers. The veins in his cock seemed to be pulsing the more he stared at you, beating at a steady rhythm almost entrancing you.

"Can I remove my underwear? That'll make it feel better right?"

"Of course. But I'm not removing mine, just yet. I want you to dry hump my cock, try to get you prepped for the real thing." He was ever so content, watching you remove your underwear and toss them amongst the floor. Nanami held his hand out for you to grab it which you did, helping you to guide your body on top of his, straddling his waist and lowering yourself onto him. "Good girl. Now, you can go fast, slow, soft, or hard. This is for you."

You were a little embarrassed, but your body craved this so damn badly. Your hips just started moving on their own, dragging against his thick covered cock that teased and stimulated him so much. You basked in the sensation, your body tensing from how hard his cock was. He was so thick too, your lips barely being able to spread across the entire thing. But it was great, though. You had your eyes closed, placing your hands against Nanami's chest to stabilize yourself and get a good balance on top of him.

Nanami placed his hands against your smooth brown thighs, sighing softly of pleasure from how you shifted your little hot bean against his tip. That part of you was extra sensitive and unbeknownst to you, Nanami's tip was overly sensitive. The way your heated pussy fucked against his cock was making him delirious, he has wanted this for so damn long that now it was extremely difficult for him to not cum so fast. He wanted you to enjoy yourself, and by the look on your face as he opened his eyes, YOU WERE enjoying yourself.

He didn't even recognize you with how slutty you looked. Your tongue sticking out and your hips moving harder against his dick, making him hold a hard grip against your thighs. He could feel your nails digging into his chest, his skin stinging but being tolerable and somehow adding to the pleasure that his dick was getting. He could see how your tail wagged back and forth the more you rocked against him, your warm pussy twitching as it was stimulated so much by his cock.

The way your moans was music to his ears made his body shiver, the sight of your plump body working so hard for an orgasm made his balls tighten. He knew that he was about to cum, but he was going to let you enjoy him as much as you needed to. You were completely out of it, letting one of your hands go up to your breast and holding it as you bounced against Nanami. He watched your chest bounce in a way that only made his balls throb sporadically before he felt the substance travel through his cock and out his tip, his body tensing as his muscles flexed from how hard he came.

You continued on, Nanami gritting his teeth and his eyes clenching shut from the overstimulation you drained from him. "Fuuuck—!" He groaned aloud, which made you snap out of it and realize what you were doing to him. You slowed down for a moment, watching as his body jerked from all your movements.

"N—Nanami? Am I hurting you?"

He took a moment to let the euphoric afterglow wash over him. He shook his head, "Not at all, ____. I'm just sensitive. You made me cum." He knew that you wouldn't know what you just did to him, which is why it only turned him on more. He loved when your innocent side came out. "I didn't make you cum, did I?" You shook your head, watching Nanami closely from what he was doing. He sat up with you still on top of him, just before he quickly grabbed you by the throat and slammed you against the bed, pinning you underneath him. "I guess we'll just have to change that, won't we?"

That shocked you, but you felt how your body desperately needed that somehow. He wasn't restricting your airflow, but it was enough to have you gulping down air every now and then. His hand was so large, almost wrapping around your throat. You felt so different, not quite like yourself, but just a horny hot mess that needed him wherever he was supposed to bed. "Guess I gotta help my baby out then. Don't worry, ____. I'll make you cum as many times as you want." Your body flinched as his free hand went to your pussy, his thumb fiddling with your throbbing bean.

"Ohhhhh—I guess I almost made you cum, huh, ____? You were grabbing your own tits, whining like a bitch." You shuddered the more he caressed your drenched pussy, and you could feel your liquids running down the crevice of your ass the more he played with you. "You're gonna take my dick. In any fucking way I want you to." You couldn't see it, but you heard how he pulled his underwear down, the soft thud of it hitting the floor. He didn't even bother taking his shirt off the normal way, instead he stopped playing with your pussy to rip his shirt off, the noise reaching your ears and making you jump.

He was completely naked above you, "If you're not ready, that's not my problem now is it?" He was up close on your face, whispering as he placed gentle kisses all over you. You felt how his tip was knocking on your door, trying to enter and making you more needy. He saw how your body tried to get him to enter you already, but Nanami loved to tease you. Even with this position, he never took his hand off your throat, "I love you. You know that right? You're my baby..." He talked you through the fact that he was pushing his dick into you, slowly but surely. Everything was so overwhelming that your mind didn't register him telling you that he loves you.

Even if he said that you not being prepped wasn't his problem, but he never would hurt you on purpose. Not unless you wanted him to. And judging by how hard you got turned on from him slamming you against the bed, your body wanted him to do whatever he wanted to you. Nanami removed his hands from around your throat, placing his head against your shoulder to pepper soft kisses on you. Your body didn't sense any pain, only being taking on a ride of pleasure the more he pressed into you. "You feel that? I'm almost in, shit—!" His breath hitched, feeling how tight you were.

There was a soft spongy spot that he was pressing against, that he softly thrusted into to figure out what it was. "Ahhhhh—! Nanami!" He knew what it was now, and he knew what he just made you do. The way you yelled his named and moaned out like a loud cry told him that he hit that secret g-spot, and by the way your body was jerking he could tell that those two thrusts made you orgasm.

He had to sit up and look at your face, hearing the mantras of moans and yells of his name the more he pressed against it. He only pulled out slightly so he could rapidly fuck against your g-spot. He knew you were in heat but to see your eyes beading with tears the more he fucked into you let him know that he was giving you the best moment of your life. He stopped momentarily, to sit up on his knees so he could stare down at you. Nanami grabbed your legs and pressed them against his chest, "That felt good, didn't it? I'm gonna make you do it again."

An experimental thrust from Nanami had your body twisting underneath him, "Fuuuck! It—it feels so good!" You didn't recognize yourself at all, but your body wanted more. You removed your legs from his chest and wrapped them around his waist, curling against him and making him lose his balance a little. You bounced against him as he leaned against the balls of his feet, before he pushed himself up and held you up against him. You fucked yourself desperately against his thick cock, but Nanami wasn't going to allow that.

With a harsh smack to your ass, it made you completely stop but moan in the process. He lifted you up in the air as he stood up on his feet, holding you still against him. He walked you both over to a wall, pressing your back against the cold surface. "Didn't I tell you that no matter what, you're gonna take my cock in the way I WANT YOU TO?!" He wasn't upset, but he knew the aggression made your body go insane. He hooked your legs around his arms and pulled you off the wall. "Now I'm not stopping no matter how hard and how many times you cum."

"Nanami, I—ahhhhhh!"

He didn't let you get a word in as he bounced you on his cock in the air, somehow your pussy feeling the pleasure ten folds stronger than before in this position. His dick was angling at your g-spot and curving to focus solely on that. "Shut the fuck up and take my dick." Your pussy twitched, and your body shivered the harder he pounded into you. "I bet you love being held like this? Fucked standing up and you can't move. Fuck you're so tight—!"

The way his cock targeted your spot repeatedly felt like your body was on fire, the tears in your eyes streaming down your cheeks and dripping down on your tits, falling between the crevices. "Oh fuck, you feel so good, ____." Nanami smacked your ass as he pounded into, before taking a hand full of your ass and gripping it tightly, using it as leverage to pull you harshly into his hard pounding cock.

You already felt another orgasm creeping up on you. You let your hands rest on Nanami's back, your nails digging into his skin making his back muscles flex from the sting. "Cumming... cu-cumming... CUMMING!!!"

That made Nanami press your back harshly against the wall, his head against your shoulder before he began pounding harder into you. "Fuck, cum around my cock, baby." Your head slammed against the wall the harder he fucked into you, his thrusts being so strong that your legs shook from the way he connected his cock to your spot. "Come on, ____. Cum, I know you're right there."

And damnit you were, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, "Ahhhhhhhh—!" You were whaling loudly and dramatically, feeling like your entire pussy was being tickled to a sensation that shouldn't have been possible. And God did he enjoy everything he was doing to your soft body. He wrapped his arms around you tightly so you wouldn't try and push him away or escape him, which you were trying to. The overstimulation was too much for you, but he wasn't going to stop until you were completely satisfied.

He felt how your juices seeped out around his cock, only to hear as it dripped down against the floor and splashed the more he fucked you. "You're taking my dick so well, aren't you? You love this, don't you?" He continued to overstimulate you, making the tears in your eyes more evident as you were slightly sobbing now, gasping as he fucked into you so deeply and harshly. Your eyes were blurred from the tears, your body shaking so badly from the sensations of his dick repeatedly bashing into you oh so deeply and deliciously.

The way your body was shaking so violently made Nanami accidentally drop you. You fell onto your side, shivering against the floor not even noticing Nanami standing over you. You were out of it, until Nanami grabbed you by your hair and held you up on your hands and knees against the floor. He got down on one knee behind you, not wasting any time to slam his dick back inside of you. "We're not done until you make me cum inside this fat pussy of yours."

Nanami gently slammed your head against the floor, his fingers tangled in your hair before pulling you back up and thrusting harshly into you. He held you by your hair, using it as leverage to pull your back against his hips. He looked down and watched how his dick was repeatedly sheathed inside your pussy, his free hand couldn't help but swat harsh slaps at your jiggling ass. The way your tail wagged from made him sigh in awe. "Fuck, look at that." Your ass moved like water against his cock, his grip in your hair making your body arch from the position.

He was about to cum, and he wasn't planning on pulling out. You deserved the warmth of his cum inside your beautiful body. This feeling was the best either of you have ever experienced, your legs becoming wobbly before you toppled over and layed limped against the floor. "That won't stop me, ___. I'm about to cum." Nanami placed his hand against the side of your face, holding you against the floor as he continued his sloppy thrust. "Oh fuck—!" His eyes were closed as his teeth clenched.

Your face was very red with your mouth open, your tongue hanging out dripping saliva. Your orgasm was right there and so was Nanami's. Your body trembled the more he pounded into you, and it only took one perfect thrust for his thick tip head to rub against your spot to have you clawing at the floor. You came with a cry, only for Nanami to follow shortly and press your face against the floor firmly, squishing your cheek against the board.

He practically growled as thick spurts of cum shot repeatedly against your cervix, making you shiver from the warmth it gave. His hips didn't want to stop, until the sensitivity became too overwhelming for him to continue anymore. He never came so hard in his life, but he was happy that he was the one you got to experience this with. He knew your heat wasn't over, not until three to four weeks. Nanami pulled his hand off of your face, sitting up and stretching his muscles out.

He didn't want to pull his cock out at all, if anything he wanted to fuck you some more but he didn't. He knew you needed rest after the countless amount of orgasms. Nanami leaned down and pressed kisses to the side of your fucked out face, his cock sliding in as he did so, making you whimper so pathetically. "Get as much rest as you can. Because when you're ready, I'm gonna fuck you again."

...

The next morning, 9:29 a.m.

Your eyes batted repeatedly, opening to the sound of a voice telling you good morning. You knew who it was, Nanami. "Good morning..." You groggily replied, your eyes opening completely to see Nanami walking towards you with a hot cup of coffee.

"How'd you sleep, ____?" Nanami had a smile across his face, handing you the cup of coffee which you took and drunk quickly. Your throat needed some soothing, and that coffee hit the spot. But it quickly had you shooting up to run to the bathroom. But, you didn't run, more like fell straight to the ground as soon as you got up. "Easy there, ____." He knew why you fell to the ground... maybe he was too rough last night, but he enjoyed watching you struggle to walk on your own.

He didn't hesitate on picking you up, walking you towards your bathroom and sitting you upon the toilet. Instantly, you relieved yourself from all the pent up liquid inside your body. Nanami just leaned against the sink, not leaving your side for a moment. He was curious, though. Did you remember anything that happened last night? Because you weren't acting like you did, and that made him feel some kind of way.

"____. Did you sleep okay?"

You looked at him, smiling softly. "Probably the best night sleep I've had in a while. I didn't expect my legs to be this sore in the morning, though."

"Do you know why that is?" He asked you acting all cluelessly.

After you used the toilet, you stood up and flushed it, watching Nanami step aside to let you wash your hands. You saw him staring at you in the mirror, so you dried your hands, turned the water off and turned towards him. "Come on, Nanami. Don't act like you don't know what happened last night."

He smiled at you, "I was just making sure you knew. I didn't want you thinking I did anything wrong."

"No, you didn't so don't worry. But do you remember what you said to me? That very romantic thing? I mean—well I saw it as romantic." Nanami shook his head, trying to remember but all he was thinking about was the way you screamed for him and came over and over again. "You told me you loved me, Nanami. I don't know why but... I feel the same way, but I just don't know if you were serious. You know, because of the heat of the moment."

His eyes went wide, upset that you thought he only said that because you were having sex. "____, listen to me." Nanami grabbed your face softly and lifted your chin up to look at him, "I've loved you for so long, okay? When I had the luck of being awarded for you at that place, it felt as if I was saving you. And ever since, I've wanted you to love me just as much as I love you. Do not question my love, I will always love you. It wasn't just the sex talking, I'm in love with you."

Your mouth formed a smile, taking in what he said before you returned the word, "I love you too, Nanami. And I wanna give this... give us a try." Nanami couldn't be more happier. He smiled gleefully as he pulled you into a heartfelt kiss, being slow, gentle, and so loving that your heart just melted.

You never knew that you'd think this, nor say it. But you felt like this is where you belong. Your family back home was very special to you, but you've never received love from a mate. And in all honesty if you could go back in time, you would slap your past self and tell her that this is where she belongs.

Home is indeed a person, and that home of yours being Kento Nanami.

This work was originally written by @compressingsins, if you see anything similar, please report it to me. 🫶🏾

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