#still mt fave episode of this whole show i think.

[fastidious-and-a-mess]

rewatching pencils down game changer. dropout brain plus drawfee brain plus artist internet brain equals. uber autism moments.

[tothe8andbeyond]

D-8 SVT 5TH ANNIVERSARY: FAVORITE GOING SEVENTEEN EPISODE - MT SVT REALITY, GOSE 2019 EP 3-4 & 7, DEBATE NIGHT, SVT PLAYGROUND, DON'T LIE, BOO SEUNGKWAN'S PAST LIFE DESTINY, INSOMNIA ZERO (#2), AND MORE

Season 1 began in 2017 (another reason 2017 is ironically Seventeen's year) and SVT content was changed forever.

It began as more of a behind the scenes with everything from Don't Wanna Cry, Diamond Edge, Clap promo, and all the fansigns inbetween. This season just made me really sad I wasn't a carat sooner but it was a cool vlog for the boys and they were so excited to be filmed, precious bubs. I don't really have a favorite episode but here are some iconic/favorite moments

"Goiiiiing.. SEVENTEEN!" "goinggoing~~~"

Covering the camera with Hoshi's hand

"What if I die?!" "Then you die!"

SVT Energy Skincare™

Jun leaving people "frozen"

Angry MC Santa Wonwoo

Asking for the unicorn frap at Starbucks and having the order total turn out to be $17 thus triggering the members

Minghao flexing on everyone's life (again) on the trampoline

Hoshi being depressed about not getting bday wishes

Dino's "fanboys"

"Americano, aMEricano, ameRIcano, ameriCANo, americanO"

Make It Shine blooper

The dog from the concert poster photoshoot

Dabhao was thriving

My I behind the scenes 🥰

Any Junhao moment bc I'm whipped

Little 8 practicing his singing 🥺

Trauma (Seungkwan remix)

Spin-Off started introducing us more to GoSe in a variety format

We got variety-esque episodes like with the members cooking, writing letters to themselves, making flower crowns, drawing, and the arcade episode! But it was still mostly vlog-esque where we got to see behind the scenes of Thanks, Ideal Cut Concerts, Japan Arena Tour, 3rd Anniversary, their exhibit, Oh My/YMMD, and BSS promo. Again making me emo I wasn't a carat earlier missing all these iconic moments 🥺

My favorite episode is easily MT SVT REALITY and Hoshi yelling out the window still might be one of the most iconic moments ever, PERIOD. My other fave moments include

DK and Jeonghan fake laughing for like 5 mins straight

Minghao's mullet, period.

Driver Minghao for TTT

Jun abandoning DK to help Wonwoo with his apron instead

The birth of the legendary "T H E to the 8" rap (feat. the return of imma)

Producer Woozi

Episode 20 (yes I have that memorized) when Minghao hosts a cute little hotel date 🥺 he tells fans not to think of him romantically and then pulls this shit pretending to feed us and everything which is why I'm sad lol

Minghao's giggle when he did the bottle flip 🥺

Vernon full on losing it during an arcade game while Hao who's playing with him is dead silent

V8 vs. older bros

"you're over, Yoon Jeonghan"

Junnie winning at the fighting game uwu

The iconic Thinkin About You looks

That pose Jeonghan does that screams "your crush is coming, act natural"

Mingyu getting too excited and spitting on the cake so the members cover it but Mingyu thinks they're doing a team cheer

Hoshi screaming "2 captains!" repeatedly while Woozi regrets his life's decisions

Killing the8 in mafia just for returning from China

GoSe 2019 was the birth of the true variety show. They even made a theme song and everything 🤣😭 SVT are such natural entertainers ohmygod (and the editors really stepped up their game thank u staffs)

There was still some behind the scenes like the 4th Anniversary, Japan concerts, and Minghao instructing for Chinese Ver. of home, but they kind of started transitioning behind the scenes content to a different spot on the channel and honestly carats are so well fed with content #blessed. ALSO THIS WAS AROUND THE TIME I BECAME A FAN IM EMO

My absolute fave eps are the ones when they were brainstorming their own ideas for the show (3-4), the making of the intro/theme (7), debate night, and SVT playground but honestly the whole fucking season has so many iconic moments

Vernon not being able to read red marker bc of his red glasses

Jun's 1+1

Honestly it's so entertaining hearing them talk about their ideas even without them implementing them yet, they're seriously so creative

They do skits/roles so well like Jun pretending he's from the Chinese restaurant next door and Woozi being CEO of Going Entertainment dndkdk I cannot make this shit up

"Jeonghan act tired" Jeonghan: *fully falls to the floor and drags his body to the couch djdkdkdkkdld he's so fucking dramatic I'm still dying at this

Wonhao running around dead S.Coups

Minghao doing the going dance down the stairs (flexing again)

Pabo latte

Enthusiastic Minghao in Japan 🥺

The MBTI hidden camera

Diva Boo being pissed he didn't get Beyonce's MBTI but someone else did

Monsta X saving them at karaoke

Pigeon DK thriving during debate night

Geppetto Minghao looking fine af during debate night "I said so many nonsenses, I hope you liked it"

TTT fun - meerkat line rise, Jeonghan and Hoshi catching bugs but screaming the whole time, network love unit playing except Hao and he just gives them a cute "fighting!" Like they're his kids but he's just trying to relax lol, more mafia, Jun being hilarious during try not to laugh, S.Coups wanting to kill the staff (as usual), THE MEMBERS PLAYING WITH KITTENS

Froghao was thriving during svt playground

Bothering Woozi during secret santa

Hao's face when Jeonghan took the iPad

Dino literally got gifted a brick??

Junnie's light up grills

GoSe 2020 continues the variety so well and each member gets a month! So sad they shortened the theme but they gave us subs! Also the previews for next episode are great! They also stepped up the editing too. They are all working so hard for this and it really pays off

My favorite episodes so far are Don't Lie, Seungkwan's Past Life Destiny, and Insomnia Zero (especially part 2). I'm so damn hyped for Debate Night 2. Again so blessed for this content 😭🙌

It's harder to list moments when the entire episodes are iconic!!

DK failing at his own mystery food game

Minghao literally lucky number 8

The saga of Minghao being amazed at Mingyu's eating continues

Hoshi singlehandedly admitting he's mafia then getting Mingyu killed instead then openly killing the citizens at night without needing to hide and then winning the game ohmygod I cannot at how fucking wild and hilarious this episode was

Sleepy Jun during Seungkwan's Past Life Destiny

Junhao, evil twins, seoksoon, mingyuzi rise

Dino rejecting Mingyu with a moonwalk

The overall betrayal of couples omg

SA DALLA

Jun showing the Made in China tag djdkkd

Limbo was fucking wild

The members are all whipped for Woozi that shit made me soft as hell

Talking shit when other members are trying to sleep

Woozi loves dad jokes so much omg

They are so damn dramatic for the ASMR in Insomnia Zero pt 2 omg

TASTY

Jeonghan purposely not answering Hoshi's call to come back

Hoshi giggling that Woozi lost and Woozi fully having a crisis

Wonwoo identity crisis as one of the chill members

Brain Survival and Escape Room made my brain hurt but they're so smart

Minghao jump scare poor bb

Kicked out members becoming audience reactors

DK and Jeonghan fucking around with the props instead of helping

Their delivery food episode just made me hungry

S.Coups not flinching one bit at arm wrestling Hoshi

Trying to act cool when the move spots on the chess board

Seungkwan's wipe out

Getting debate night 2 really saved my life I can't wait for the rest of 2020

I typed way more than I should have but I just love Going Seventeen and all Seventeen content, being a carat really is a blessed life!

[easilydistractedbyfanfic]

Facing Your Demons - Season 6 Character Speculation: MURPHY

Well, we’re down three episodes of the season so far, and if I’m remembering correctly, somewhere JRoth has said that the real story of the season doesn’t really show itself until episode 4. Or something like that. But that even though the eclipse-induced psychosis may not be an ongoing thing, that “facing your demons” is still going to be an issue. 

So that’s made me think a lot about my faves and what their demons are or could be, and how that may play into what I see S6 being about. As a whole, I think that S6 is going to give us a lot of callbacks to past issues that our Earthkru have previously faced and we’ll see if they choose to right their mistakes or if they handle things differently now that they are older - and presumably - wiser. Obvious parallel here - Mt. Weather and the factions on Sanctum. But also Octavia being linked to the Grounders in S1 and Gabriel’s Children now in S6. And plenty more!

Lemme dive deeper and let’s start with MURPHY! 

Oh, this could be so good. So he died in 6x03 - Abby tells him his heart stopped. I think Murphy going through this is actually super deliberate. Let me preface this to say that I'm a big Murven shipper (lmao duh) and absolutely believe that Raven and Murphy are on similar journeys through this series and are opposite sides of the same coin. They have countless parallels and similar experiences in their lives (I’ve made past posts about it) and here’s another.

Who else died like this? Raven - she did it to herself in order to get ALIE out of her head in S4. She drowns herself and stops her heart - what a coincidence. And what else did Raven experience in this process - hallucinations. Brought on by ALIE yes, and resulted in her manifesting Sinclair (good angel?) and ALIE (bad demon?) where she ultimately had a choice to make about living or dying. She never says anything in canon about whether she experienced any visions of an afterlife, but that doesn't mean she didn't.

Anyway, Murphy's arc in this entire show has actually had him bumping up against religious plots. The entire saga with Jaha, searching for the COL was a religious journey on Jaha's part, obviously, but the argument is there that Murphy was searching for something too. I mean - they went through the desert, what a religious metaphor! And they are on a journey for (en)LIGHT(enment). And I'd venture to say that in a way he found it - when faced with personal crisis (being stuck in the Lighthouse), he chooses not to commit suicide (same as Raven).

But he sees this religious fervor on Jaha's part and refuses it - doesn't buy it, won't swallow it (literally won't take the chip). Murphy chooses to fight for rationality and freedom, ultimately helping in Polis to defeat ALIE and the religious crusade of the COL. I also note that it's interesting to me that in 3x06, Jaha lies to Raven about something in front of ALIE (Raven has taken the chip here). ALIE asks Jaha why he lies to Raven, and Jaha replies that Murphy knew the truth and they lost him - insinuating that if Raven knows the truth, they will lose her too (which they do).

(and on a complete side note but related - John Murphy gets banished and isolated on an island in canon. Biblical references suggest that a man named John of Patmos wrote the Revelations section of the Bible while he was isolated on an island, and believe me when I say I got a million theories about this)

Murphy gets out of the COL mess but is stuck in Polis, and what happens then? He comes to the attention of Titus, the Flamekeeper and Lexa's advisor - aka another run in with religion. It goes even deeper for him when he pretends to be Ontari's Flamekeeper and is in and out of the Temple in Polis. Murphy actually knows quite a bit about Becca and her origins from his time with the videos in the Lighthouse bunker AND his time in the temple at Polis with all the drawings and history of her.

So how does this tie in to FACING HIS DEMONS and the belief that he’s going to hell? First of all, I think it's realistic for him to be freaked out that he "died". He's a survivor and takes pride in that - it's his identity. But is that identity gone now? Maybe he doesn't feel like a survivor any more? Maybe he feels like it's too late, maybe he wants an out, maybe the pain of his past and his actions is too much for him... and maybe he thinks religion or what the Under-the-Dome people represent will help him, can calm him. What does this sound like to me? Oh, the arc where Raven decided she was in so much pain that she took the 'out' of the chip? Oh, the one where ultimately she realized it was false and she fought her way out of it because even though it was painful, she wanted her own life and memories and feelings back? Hmmm...... interesting. Are we going to see Murphy have to accept his life as-is? Is he going to suck it up and build a brace for his own shortcomings? I guess we’ll see. 

On the flip side, to throw out another possibility - Murphy is a lot smarter than people give him credit for. I would truly not put it past him to act interested in religious salvation in order to learn more about this society. Remember - he tells Ontari that it's better to lie your way out of something than to kill your way out (3x11). 

In addition, if we tie it all in to facing your demons, I think there's an easy argument to be made that Murphy doesn't think he's worthy, that he's 'bad' in comparison to others or shouldn't have survived this long while other (better?) people have died (His Dad? Monty? Harper?). He's ALWAYS been about guilt, always. It's not a jump for him to think he needs to be punished. A dive into escapism via alcoholism or religion to numb his thoughts is absolutely an in-character thing for him. Although of course I’d really like to see Raven having a chat with him at some point about how he’s better than their mothers and should knock it off with the drinking. 

Blah blah blah, too long, sorry. I get carried away with Raven & Murphy! Regardless of what happens next, I’ll be watching. And also writing Murven fic!

[professorbellarke]

A lot of the complaints about Bellamy this season have been sort of vague and "idk, he just FEELS different", but this episode really did have several moments that had me feeling like the writers have lost the plot with him. There was the whole massacre thing AGAIN, there was his assholishness about Madi (which is just NOT S1-4 Bell), and yes, his Echo fixation. I get that last one is shipper biased, but it IS still a facet of his personality that didn't exist pre-S5. So I now get fans' issues.

I’m not sure why people don’t like the massacre being brought up. It was one of the defining turning points of his character, possibly the single most impactful choice he’s ever made. The echoes (heh) of that choice will be felt throughout the rest of the story, just like all the choices of all the characters on this show (except for O up until now. She was one of the few characters who hadn’t really been held accountable for their actions before s5 but boy has that all changed now. ANYWAY.) The only way characters on this show grow is if their past atrocities are not glossed over–and they’re not. Clarke pulled the Mt Weather lever and went into a downward spiral for well over half a season. If you look at the 5x07 script released today, you’ll see Clarke have a moment of guilt over the grounder she irradiated in Becca’s lab.

This show WANTS you to have a long memory. It WANTS you to remember the darkness in everyone and the things they’ve done to survive. Remember Maya’s dying words: “None of us is innocent.” It may be poor grammar, but it’s also a GREAT message to keep in mind in this show. Obviously I think some are more innocent than others, but reminding ourselves of what our faves have done only lends them more complexity. Bringing up Bellamy’s past mistakes just highlights how much he’s grown. It’s what writers do when they looooove a character.

I also didn’t read Bellamy blowing off Clarke’s concern about Madi in that last scene as…well, Bellamy blowing off Clarke’s concern about Madi. It wasn’t asshole-ish. They’re in crisis mode. I’m not sure Bellamy even heard what Clarke was saying, and he certainly hasn’t seen how MUCH of a threat Octavia is to Madi (does he even know that Madi is a true nightblood???) They have a VERY LIMITED WINDOW to carry out the *technical plot stuffs* after Echo knocked down the whozits (i need to rewatch the episode, clearly) and like Bellamy said, there IS no time for whatever Clarke is saying, because Bellamy’s priority (MUCH AS IT DOESN”T RESONATE WITH US) is to keep E from being caught and killed by Diyoza. 

Bellamy is a protector (who makes terrible plans 9 times out of 10, gotta love him), and Spacekru is his family, and much as I don’t care about Echo emotionally, HE DOES. Bellamy CARES about people. It’s his THING. The problem is that in this instance, most of us don’t care with him.

It’s not a fixation. He loves her. I don’t love her; i don’t care for the ship; I want it to end. I don’t resonate with his drive to protect her. But it’s very Bellamy to do it. Remember when he destroyed the water-maker-thingy (i am not a scientist) in the beginning of s4 to save a mini-Octavia and RILEY? FREAKIN’ RILEY?

The writers haven’t lost the plot with Bellamy. It’s midseason; we don’t even know what his plot is yet. I really do think they understand him as a character.

All that being said: it’s perfectly reasonable to have some character disconnect after a massive time jump. You’re totally allowed to feel distanced from season five Bellamy. I don’t feel that way, but you can. It’s fine. But it doesn’t automatically mean that the writers are doing a BAD job. It just wasn’t as effective as it could have been in your case.

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 10: Thoughts on 1x08 Day Trip

Wow it’s been a long time since the last installment of my re-watch. That’s okay. I’m continuing now with Day Trip; here are some notes:

This is something I should have realized ages ago but Clarke actually says in her voice over that the Ark has kept them alive for “three generations.” So in other words they (JRoth et al) know, explicitly, that their timeline doesn’t make sense!!! Three generations means Clarke’s grandparents were Grounders. How tf did they get so many people so motherfucking fast?? Generation 1 must have had 15 kids each.

Netflix subtitles suck: “Earth is survival. Mankind if going home.” Thanks Jaha, that’s helpful.

The dual sides of Miller: breaking bad news to parents, then down for some murder. I wish we knew what made him turn around re: Grounders during the S2-S3 hiatus. Did he and Lincoln became buds?

Also speaking of Miller, before S3 I didn’t like him much, tbqh, and even now that he’s a low-key fave I still laughed when Lincoln head-butted him and he went down. Because I mean he really goes down, it’s hilarious.

So for some reason I remember reading that S1 is supposed to be roughly October and S2 is roughly November. And I live just a tad south of where the show takes place so I know something of VA winters (or as I like to call them “winters”) and, yeah, October IS probably when people who don’t know what seasons are should start worrying about the cold. So this episode’s story line makes sense in and of itself. But my question is: why was winter never actually a problem??? Like there’s been snow in the background on occasion but literally no one has ever been cold? It’s such a bizarre problem to just jump up front and center in ONE EPISODE and then, without being remotely solved, just disappear entirely from view. This has bugged me for years and will continue bugging me forever. [Actually ETA everyone forgets about winter about a third of the way through the ep so literally it’s not even an issue for a full 40 minutes.]

Kane: look at this supply depot I learned about from “civil defense plans from before the war.” First, later retconning says there was no war so what’s that about? And second and more importantly I get giddy whenever I hear “civil defense plans” because whoah-boy do I have a whole cache of trivia about those!!

“The 100 would die from exposure before help arrives.” They are really assuming exposure-death is going to happen like NOW aren’t they? That’s unrealistic, October is not that cold. (Fuck, October this year was like 80 degrees.) Also, again, no one is ever chilly, not in this episode or any subsequent episode. Please explain.

I had a semi-theory about Bellarke and leadership and here’s another data point for when/if I put that together: Clarke is seen as the leader from the POV of the Ark leadership, going all the way back to their first contact. This is somewhat understandable, given that Bellamy, still a fugitive, can’t be having one-on-one chats with the Chancellor. Plus, Clarke’s lineage makes her an obvious point person. So here we see the different spheres of leadership further dividing: Clarke still isn’t (I don’t think) really a leader to the kids but she IS a leader from the point of view of the adults. This paves the way for Bellamy to be side-lined in S2 when the Ark comes down, because he was never a leader in their understanding.

They’re even breaking up ice from the dropship seats--that’s an early frost right there. A frost we never see again!

I love the socialist delinquent collective. We needed more of this, everyone working together and shit. Could have sustained like 4 seasons on that.

ALSO THERE ARE JASPER AND MONTY I LOVE THEM.

As far as I know, Dax is the only delinquent with an actual violent past. And of course he doesn’t last long. Also interesting for my purposes how Shumway manipulates him: with favors, including a “choice assignment.” Fits my theory that one’s job is one’s life.

It’s been a long time since I watched a S1 ep but apparently Bellarke are still pretending they don’t like each other. Interesting. Man to follow the twists of this relationship requires watching more than one episode every six months. I’m just going to say this here but there is no way that it would make sense to have “I don’t want to be around anyone I actually like,” even said not-entirely-seriously, coincide with “Clarke run away with me” all within one 40 minute episode. Like honestly cutting that dialogue was SUCH a good idea.

Jasper and Monty are the best everyone else GO HOME RIGHT NOW. Here we see Monty having literally no idea how to actually cheer Jasper up because Jasper is legitimately terrified of the future and Monty survives on dry wit and nihilism. I do appreciate how that bit of disconnect grows and grows over the course of the next four seasons.

#Awkward love triangle alert. Honestly I don’t hate it as much as other people but the worst of it is that it puts Raven in this position where she just doesn’t shine as bright as we all know she can.

Miller is really not a great guard. Just wanders away from Lincoln and lets Octavia in to set him free. That’s the opposite of “guarding.”

Octavia’s like a totally different person in current-canon. She doesn’t even have the same voice anymore.

I don’t know if this is a fair criticism given that current-canon Octavia is hardly what anyone would call mentally stable but in a certain sense I wish she’d been...more explicitly fucked up? Like I can’t always tell if the ridiculous things she thinks are meant to be read as ridiculous. For example, “I’m sorry I freaked out when you kidnapped me, it’s because of my childhood” is deeply ironic. It IS because of her childhood--her childhood makes her incapable of understanding that kidnapping is wrong. But that’s not what she thinks she’s saying. But, like, is that what the writers think she’s saying? I’m not really sure. Are they on the same page as Octavia, or are they like me, on a plane above? Maybe I should have more trust in them, but did you see S4? Mmmmm hard to trust after that.

Speaking of O being fucked up, this story line would make somewhat more sense if Lincoln were actually a bad guy. It’s hard to reconcile the Stockholm Syndrome-y elements of their love story with him being, from like 1x08 on, basically a stand up fellow in every respect. Not that I don’t love Lincoln as is. It’s just that I kind of have to throw out whole episodes of characterization to make him make sense.

“I want you to remember me after I’m dead.... This only ends one way” could have been long-term foreshadowing except that we all know why Lincoln was really killed off. Plus there are too many twists and turns along the way.

Miller thinks he can give Lincoln a beating when Lincoln literally felled him with his hands tied, I mean, wow, glad you have some self-confidence at least.

Nothing will ever beat the aesthetic of Bellarke at the depot site. Also Clarke is so convinced that Jaha will be lenient on Bellamy when if she just thought about the events of her father’s death with some degree of care she’d realize that perhaps (and don’t get me wrong I love Jaha, but just maaaybe) he’s not someone to count on for forgiveness or rule-breaking. Possibly. He’s just too unpredictable. Also what is Clarke carrying, and where tf are they supposed to be? There’s like a...Colosseum there??

I think that by S3 Raven has a crush on Octavia but I also think that this Octaven scene is evidence that they were never actually friends and that Octavia, in particular, really honestly likes almost no one except Bellamy (partially out of obligation because that is NOT a healthy relationship), Jasper, Monty, and Lincoln.

Do they have furs??

Raven is so beautiful. She is the most beautiful.

Clarke has some kind of knitted thing on her ankle. The costuming on this show is A+. Wow.

I’m not sure what I think this “supply depot” is supposed to be. Why didn’t they just call it what it really is: a “bunker”? It looks sort of official (”Supply depot #22″) and it’s on the civil defense plans so it’s obviously a government site. But was it intended for government relocation (conceivable, Mt. Weather and Raven Rock are the big ones but there are others on the East Coast) or for civilians? My understanding is that the civilian shelters were mostly above ground. They were for re-location post-blast, away from the major cities. I’m also semi-confused as to why it’s in such bad shape. They built good bunkers during the Cold War, and that’s true in this universe too: Mt. Weather survived, and so did Murphy’s lighthouse bunker. Why is this one such shit?

Bellamy Blake/Guns: The true OTP. I know we all gush over Bellarke but has he ever smiled at Clarke the way he smiled at that firearm? I’m afraid not.

Jasper’s first words while high are “Earth is scary” and yet the jobi nuts are what he wants to ingest for fun during his last days on Earth. Not realistic.

“You’re acting weird.” / “I’m feeling weird, but in a good way.” WINK. BRING DEVON BACK FOR A FLASHBACK EPISODE THAT IS JUST JONTY ON SPACE WEED FOR FORTY MINUTES.

He says “Earth is scary” before he sees the Grounder hallucination so what prompted that observation?? Is that just his unfiltered thought all the time? Poor Jasper, so sad all the time.

The Jasper & Octavia friendship was so meaningful, and so beautiful, and I miss it. (Sidenote: Octavia does know how to sew, and sewing is one of her jobs in the camp, fits with my other theories, good.) I love that Jasper’s the sort of person who wants “I love you” to be the last words he says to someone before his certain death.

....Well I just realized something. FUCK EVERYTHING. We’re not gonna think about that.

(This is why I don’t want to watch S5, because I’m afraid it will distort even more my otherwise pleasant experiences watching the show’s first two actually-good seasons.)

“Here buddy, take this.” I know I point out this line every time I watch this ep but BUDDY. He’s the little brother of the group I don’t make the rules. Also of importance: “You’re bombed.”

I love sneaky-Octavia and frankly I don’t think she gets enough credit for being sly. I wish they hadn’t played up her great warrior prowess as much because it’s totally unrealistic, but that she has a natural head for low-level treachery is reasonable. Also she and Clarke could have teamed up for some Slytherin-y evil-plan fun times.

READY TO BE A BADASS CLARKE.

This learning-to-shoot scene, in all its cliche flirty glory, is officially the moment Bellarke became endgame, jsyk. They’re hot, he’s obviously attracted to her, they snark at each other, there’s touching involved, they’re bonding over a (newly) common interest....

Clarke at least obviously perceives them as co-leaders (following the “for now we make the rules” Charlotte story); she wants to talk about how they’re going to deal with the guns in camp. Those questions interest me a lot and, hey, do we ever find out how they DO deal with them, like what the rules for access to weaponry are? All that government-building stuff is of interest to me but w/e. Meanwhile, Bellamy sees Clarke as the obvious (sole) leader in his absence (he tells her to keep Miller close).

Bellamy’s experience with the glitter berries is ALSO negative, yet he also chooses to use them as a party drug. Maybe I just don’t have enough experience with drugs but is that not odd??

Jaha would definitely refer to the victims of the culling as “320 souls” who were “sacrificed” but is this also how Bellamy thinks of them? As SOULS? Or is he just really good at keeping his hallucinations IC?

Clarke playing with the bendy gun is the second most hilarious thing in this episode, second only to Lincoln knocking Miller out using his head. Clarke’s a riot. She would be so fun when drunk.

My entire Miller-is-a-drama-nerd headcanon comes from a post someone made about that 2-second moment he’s standing there talking to himself while high and I have NO REGRETS. It’s canon.

“Finn, babe, I know you’re grievously injured and need to stay lying down but the whole camp’s nutter-butter for some unknown reason so get your butt out here to enjoy the hilarity. This is priority one.”

Shame on everyone who doesn’t properly appreciate Stoner!Monty. SHAME.

Clarke is so efficient she uses her state of intoxication to do some problem solving.

She’s obviously a Daddy’s Girl. The excessive use of the word ‘kiddo’ alone basically confirms.

“Forgiveness isn’t about what people deserve” is a criminally underrated line. Especially given the running thread of forgiveness and absolution through the whole show. I agree with that meta from back in the day that Bellarke’s view of forgiveness in the first two seasons is shallow, that it’s harder than just “if you want forgiveness, I’ll give it to you” but I still think there’s something there in Clarke’s initial glitter-berry-fueled realization.

You know what I had always previously assumed that Raven was high when she said “You are the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms” and I wondered, you know, why she chose to eat the nuts AFTER she saw the full effects of them, but now I think she was sober and that was her way of taking care of Connor (?). Because she doesn’t sound space-y when she says it, and at the same time Finn is dumping nuts into the fire and then he says “I got this one,” about another delinquent who is high, which makes it seem a lot more like they’re wrangling their wasted compatriots rather than getting wasted themselves. Which brings up the inevitable question: how did Raven and Connor get to talking about brooms??

Bellamy has explicit suicidal urges but also sees suicide, or death, as something he doesn’t really deserve. Which is fucked up but also...I wish that had come up more explicitly in S4 when so many other characters, including characters he interacts with, start talking about ending their lives. He tells himself (I’m assuming this is him and not Dax speaking through Jaha) that “life is a struggle.” Here he frames it as ‘the struggle of life is what you deserve as punishment for your sins,’ which is interesting enough though bleak, but perhaps he could find some slightly-less-bleak framing of it a (canon-verse) year later?

Bellamy’s confused face when he realizes his gun is a hallucination is the third most hilarious part of this episode.

The Bellarke story line in this episode (both in the sense of the Bellarke-relationship and the Bellamy and Clarke intersecting story lines) IS SO GOOD. Hot damn.

This scene by the tree is also why I still haven’t forgiven Clarke, like 10 years later, for walking away in 2x16. Because Bellamy didn’t run! She asked him to stay and he stayed! She offered him forgiveness and he knew, I’m sure, on some level, that it wasn’t that simple but he still came back! And she couldn’t do that for him.

“All I think about is how to keep everyone alive. But we don’t have a choice.” Already she’s seeing their leadership as pre-ordained (I think in part to alleviate her guilt for all of the things she’s already had to do as a leader, which we see in her convo with her dad weigh on her heavily), and this is the weakness Lxa exploits in S2. The hero/martyr complex.

Bellamy and Clarke walking into camp with the guns = the reason I’m bi.

Bellarke are so smart in this convo with Jaha: Clarke gives her speech first, and then Bellamy’s like “I see that doesn’t convince you, how about some of the coin of the Ark-realm: we make a deal. You live, I live. Everyone wins!”

Lol @ Finn thinking he’s a part of the leadership team.

I feel like one way of summarizing S1 was “how the first people back on Earth after the nuclear apocalypse set themselves up for another apocalypse” but then the show kind of...didn’t go there? Like they make their Oppenheimer references and there’s tons of stuff about accidental escalation and accidental war (a big fear during the Cold War irl btw), and Finn even lays it out here in this conversation with Clarke: bringing in guns is a first step down a dangerous road; this is how it starts. What happened to that whole theme?

I know I talk shit about this show a lot (probably more outside of tumblr than on, actually) but I really do honestly love it, at least in its first two seasons. Like this episode...that was some good shit.

[kane-and-griffin]

ahhhhh kabby mom I'm so scared about Abby in these new episodes! I'm rlly happy she's back in the next ep but I'm already seing people hating on her in the tag even before they know what's gonna happen and comparing her to Lorelai Tsing(!?!) as if sacrificing 1 willing person to save the entire world is somehow the same as brutally painfully murdering 50 children just so you can go outside?? if its this bad NOW, is this season is gonna make the fandom hate Abby because this ALWAYS happens!! :(:(

I mean, if there are people who can’t tell the difference between Abby being emotionally devastated at merely ENTERTAINING THE VERY THOUGHT of taking one life deliberately even to save the entire human race, and Dr. Tsing coolly and calmly committing attempted genocide on innocent grounders and 50 children, then that’s not a person whose opinion on this show I feel like I really need to take all that seriously.  I’m sure there are people whose hate for Abby is such that they will find a way to make her a villain over this, and that’s exhausting as hell, and I feel like it’s sort of an individual judgment call for each of us whether we dig in and try to explain or just mute and block them all so we don’t have to see that shit.  But if you’re worried about this storyline because it’s going to make the fandom hate Abby, first of all, what I’d urge you to remember is that a great deal of that will go away if - as it definitely seems like the show is setting it up - Abby’s solution ends up being the solution that works.  If Abby actually does end up being the person who cracks Nightblood and saves the entire human race, if Abby’s the reason your fave is still alive for Season 5, then “but she still shouldn’t have done it” becomes a totally specious argument we can all happily ignore.  And it 100% appears at this point that that’s the direction we’re headed; Nightblood will work, but there will be complications (my guess is they’re going to need a ton more blood and that’s when Gaia becoming a Nightblood scout becomes plot-relevant), and then of course they’ll still need somewhere to ride out the storm, which means either Becca’s bunker, the lab if it’s radiation-proof, or wherever this Bill Cadogan story ends up going.  But the Nightblood is what’s going to make a Season 5 possible so they can actually, you know, go outside and walk around and repopulate the earth.  And they can’t get there without Abby. 

So if you’re concerned about people unreasonably demonizing her and the fandom being a shitshow, like I FEEL YOU MY DUDE but also all we can do is block and move on.

If what you’re worried about is whether the show ITSELF is in some way villainizing her, I really and truly don’t think that’s something we need to panic about either.  First of all, it’s hugely significant that what we see in the trailer is Abby agonizing over the decision, but we don’t see how that person in the tank comes to be there.  We haven’t seen Abby “there has to be another way” Griffin try to find another way.  (For example, does somebody volunteer?)  We haven’t seen the whole context of what leads up to that conversation over the radio, we haven’t heard all of what she says, we haven’t seen how the other characters - Kane, Clarke, Raven, Luna, Murphy, Roan, Jackson - respond or what their position is on this same issue.  But I don’t think they’re making her the bad guy, I think they’re setting her up as a conflicted and flawed hero, just like her daughter is, making the hard ugly choices that have to be made for everyone to survive, but busting her ass to try absolutely everything else first.

This is different from the ridiculous, out-of-character Raven slap, or all the characters at the beginning of S3 loudly announcing what a bad chancellor she was in order to move the chess pieces around to get the chancellor pin to Kane for plot reasons.  Those were bonehead writing choices that demonized Abby unnecessarily and they continue to annoy me (physical violence is anathema to Abby, this is a running thread, and obviously she was a pretty damn good chancellor since she’s the one who built Arkadia into a home and gave them three months of peace; so like, THOSE THINGS DIDN’T MAKE SENSE).  But this is a classic Abby conundrum.  I’d encourage you not to get pulled into listening to people compare her to Dr. Tsing, and to think about this in the context of the The Culling.  It was inarguably necessary that they needed to float a certain number of people in order to preserve oxygen.  But Abby tried everything else first.  She tried to convince the Council to wait for the kids to reestablish contact, for a decisive sign from the wristbands.  When that failed, she commandeered a Russian dropship and a Raven Reyes and sent her to Earth to report back.  When that failed, she released Jake’s tape to the whole Ark so everyone knew what was happening, to keep Kane and Jaha from killing all of Section 17 with no warning.  It worked by getting people to volunteer - that is, it became self-sacrifice and not murder - but all those people still died, because based on all the information they had, they TRULY believed that that was necessary for them to survive.  So we know who Abby Griffin is in these circumstances.  We know she doesn’t have the capacity to just stand back and watch, or hide behind the rules, and we know she feels every single one of those deaths acutely, and we know how hard she fights to preserve every life that she can.  So knowing what we now know - that Nightblood may be, like the Culling, the thing that needs to be done for humanity to survive - the question is how Abby will handle it. 

Yes, the Mt. Weather parallels are there - this season has been all about parallels with major events from past seasons.  But the important thing to note is that those parallels have all been flipped in some way.  For example, the Clarke/Jasper/Monty parallel to the Jaha/Clarke/Jake situation.  Clarke (in the Jaha slot) shocklashes and arrests Jasper (Jake) to keep him from telling everyone the truth, then Monty (Abby) runs over and shouts it out through the intercom anyway. So far, so good.  Nice clear parallel, right?  Except then what happens?  Clarke realizes she crossed a line and lets Jasper go.  She works hard to make it right with Jasper and Monty.  She doesn’t want to be the kind of leader, like Jaha, who could float his friends.  And then Arkadia burns a few episodes later, making the list moot.  So the parallel is set up the same way, and then switches direction.  We’ve seen a lot of these throughout the show so far, and they’ve all been switched up or turned on their head in some way.  So if they’re setting up a line between Abby and Dr. Tsing, the way they did between, say, Jasper and Jake, then the thing to watch for is how they pull the rug out from under us and flip that parallel in an unexpected way.  And my guess with Abby is that it’s going to be something to do with the idea of sacrifice or consent; can she convince someone to volunteer their life to help her make Nightblood?  Can she find another way?

Anyway, I’m not freaking out about this and I hope you don’t either.  I’m really excited when Abby is relevant to the plot - she got so shafted last year - and when we get to remember she’s not just Clarke’s mom and Kane’s girlfriend, she’s a brilliant scientific and medical genius who has a supercharged ALIE brain.  They’re setting her up to be the person who saves the day - as she so often is - and I’m here for it.  If people want to deliberately misinterpret her motives, I can’t stop them, but I’m ready for emotionally conflicted doctor hero Abby to save humanity.

[easilydistractedbyfanfic]

6x01 Raven Reyes - Some Thoughts about Emotional Avoidance and Sex

Anybody who follows this blog knows Raven is my favorite female character on The 100. I watched 6x01 early (no self control), and I have plenty of thoughts about what happened onscreen, but this is the first time I’m writing anything down. 

I’ll start with my conclusion and put the rest under the cut if you want to see how I get there -  Bottom line - Raven does deserve happiness, it just hasn’t happened for her yet because she goes looking for the exact things that WON’T bring it to her in order to protect her heart.

My fave doesn’t deal with emotion too well, does she? Upon seeing the video from Monty and hearing about her friends and being upset by this, she then takes complete offense at Abby’s comment (understandable after the way they left things between them in S5), and storms out of the room. Sh*w follows and Raven says the line “They left us”, which definitely gives some insight into where her mindset is - she’s mad at Monty & Harper, doesn’t understand the choice they made even when Sh*w offers insight, instead telling him “No more talking”. Now... where have I heard Raven and comments about “no more talking” before? Buckle up, because I’m gonna tell you. 

1x08 - in the space of a few days, she’s come to Earth, figured out Finn cheated on her, confronted Clarke about it, saw him poisoned and close to death and therefore tortured a Grounder for an antidote, and then Octavia heckles her over her actions because Octavia sides with Lincoln - Octavia says something like “must be hard coming down here only to discover your boyfriend has moved on”. Raven literally goes to Finn and initiates sex right then, actually telling him “I don’t want to talk” and when he tries again “I don’t want to talk about it EVER” - saying she knows about Clarke but asking if Finn loves her. He replies “always” and she proceeds to kiss him again. Things continue and the short view of the aftermath is that they are both lying awake and not talking. The scene feels awkward to me like they each have things to say but aren’t saying them. Then they are interrupted. Note the lack of talking and emotional distress that pushed her into the sex - it’s literally the overall tone. 

1x11 - Raven has very recently broken things off with Finn for good (in 1x10), but things are strained between them and she is not unaffected by seeing Finn & Clarke together. When Murphy replies to her to say that Finn & Clarke are still out hunting together and his words about it goad her into another bout of jealousy/unhappiness, it is no accident that the scene literally has Murphy ripping out fish guts - his words are tearing Raven’s guts out because it hurts to be set aside so easily (as a Murven shipper, I have a lot more to say with regard to this scene but let me shut up for now). She goes right for Bellamy, telling him ‘they don’t waste time’ re Finn/Clarke. Interesting convo here where Raven is determined to move on, and she seems to think that by moving on sexually, it may help her get past seeing Finn with someone else. Bellamy warns her he is not going to “talk her out of it” or “talk her down because she’s upset”. And I can add some armchair psychology here about Raven perhaps seeing Bellamy live that love ‘em and leave ‘em attitude at this point of the show, and maybe hoping that will rub off on her. Anyway, we find out it doesn’t work when she gets out of bed quickly and when Bell asks if it helped and she says no. Note the lack of talking and emotional distress - once again the tone is set. 

2x14 - in the days prior to this, Finn dies traumatically after killing innocent people, Raven is tortured by Grounders when she’s thought to have poisoned Heda, Jasper & Monty (among others) are trapped in Mt Weather and they know they’re taking out bone marrow, she’s trying to figure out the pain & limitations of her body with the leg brace, TonDC has blown up and she can’t figure out how to solve the acid fog which is what their whole plan to go into Mt. Weather depends on, including Bellamy who’s undercover there. She literally blames herself early in this episode - “...because I can’t figure this out.” So she’s stressed. Wick makes her laugh and together they solve the acid fog issue, which makes them both relieved and somewhat giddy. They leave each other after flirting but Raven soon returns and just kisses Wick. He says it’s a bad idea - she says “We’re going to war. Stop talking.” She chastises him again, saying “what did I say about talking” when he tries to. They have sex. Afterwards, she gets up quickly to dress and he tries to connect/reach out to her/says he’s in but she has to figure it out. He accuses her of shutting down. She does not respond. He says “this was too much” and she does not deny it. She only says “we have a war to win” - aka we can infer that either this was a mistake to her or that she tried, yet again, to use sex as a way to avoid emotional distress, but it didn’t really work out for her. Again with the lack of talking - at least on her part - and while I do think there was attraction and chemistry here, there was emotional distress involved and we have that confirmed with Wick’s comment of “this was too much”. 

And now we’re back at 6x01 -  Raven literally goes from near tears over Monty and Harper to rage at Abby to hurt that Monty and Harper “left us” to kissing Sh*w and saying “no more talking”. Aww, my poor little avoidance baby. For his part, Sh*w makes attempts at saying romantic sorts of things - saying “...spending a life... with someone you love...” sounds good to him, also insinuating that he would not go on a long-term mission then or now if he had her. Meanwhile, my fave girl is reading a book, talking about Becca’s accomplishments (I have so much crap to talk about here but once again I will shut up), wondering what Becca was like and then calling it sex (and not making love). At no time does she say her feelings to him or about him in this scene, but it does seem to have distracted her from what she was feeling on the Bridge. There’s talking, but for her part, the focus is Becca or suggesting more sex aka changing the subject. And do we really think the emotional distress is gone, or just put off in the moment? 

So what are we left with when we consider all of this? First, let me say that as a Murven shipper, I realize that I come to the table with some biases, but let me also say that I I am a fan of this character, not just my ship, and I rewatched EVERY SINGLE SEX SCENE IN THIS SHOW for comparison purposes and when we look at both Monty/Harper onscreen along with Kane/Abby, they both show conversations after sex that get them onto the same page, make a connection. Even Clarke/Finn have a revealing moment although there is some teasing there too. What was interesting to me was that Clarke/L*xa included a comment about “we don’t have to talk at all”, but I’m not touching that one with a 20ft pole. However - let’s note that Clarke/Niylah has Clarke saying “Niylah, would you mind not talking?” and gosh what does THAT remind us of?

Anyway, my girl Raven has been traumatised by the love she had for Finn and hasn’t allowed herself to get anywhere near that since he slept with Clarke and broke her heart. She was willing to forgive him, and they both agreed they’d always be each other’s family, and in a past post, I discussed why I think she really doesn’t hold some kind of a grudge towards Clarke about all this - as in, she doesn’t blame Clarke for Finn cheating, but she may still be hurt/sad that the whole thing happened, I guess we’ll see about that. Lemme know if you wanna read it. BUT even so, that doesn’t mean that she trusts love or even feels romantic love at this point, and I could do a whole other post on how I think she rushed herself into Sh*w just because he was there and it was even OOC for her, but it’s late and i’m tired and as you can see, I spend way too much time thinking about this stuff anyway. 

Let me say it again - Raven does deserve happiness, it just hasn’t happened for her yet because she goes looking for the exact things that WON’T bring it to her in order to protect her heart. All you have to do to see what will make her happy in the future is to look at what made her happy in the past *cough cough intimacy best friend & family, guy who looked out for her cough cough*. And BY THE WAY - even though it might fit with her arc, it still pissed me off that they had her sleep with this dude so fast just to increase her pain, damn it. Like - I see you, misogyny! Get outta here!

[easilydistractedbyfanfic]

Raven Reyes - Remorse and Forgiveness

I love the dystopian realm of The 100 and have since S1. I never participated in fandom until S5, but Raven has been my favorite female character from very early on, and I read discussions of her character with interest. I don’t always agree with everything I read, but I don’t love her because I think she’s perfect and can do no wrong - I love her because she’s interesting and layered, and her background and struggles have made her the strong character she is. 

One of the wider opinions I read a lot of is that Raven isn’t one to be remorseful of her actions, or that she blames others for things that she has played a part in as well - ie, holds Bellamy or Clarke more responsible than she holds herself. I have also seen her called selfish and that she doesn’t consider other people’s opinions because she thinks she’s right all the time. 

There’s particular interest in Raven’s traits and motivations because of so many unresolved issues & dynamics in S5, and a lot of people (myself included) think that S6 may help to address some of these missing conversations. I’m not psychic, I can only make educated guesses on what we’ll see based on what has already been shown, but I would like to take a few moments to point out some things about Raven’s character that I think might be too frequently overlooked when discussions of who she is come into play. This is not to say that I don’t think she has flaws - she wouldn’t be at all fascinating to me if she was perfect, and The 100 is nothing if not good at creating complex, diverse characters whose motivations are often muddied. 

So, first - while I definitely think that the triangle of Raven/Finn/Clarke is going to come back into play via the triangle of Echo/Bellamy/Clarke parallel because there IS unfinished emotional business there and of course this show likes its parallels, with regard to Raven, I see so many people say that she’s never forgiven Clarke for mercy-killing Finn. I think that perspective isn’t fully correct, though. Is there still some bad feelings there? Maybe - but, I’d like to see more people address the very real scene we got in 2x09 “Remember Me” that was short but actually told us a lot. 

After Raven was wrongfully accused of trying to murder Lexa and was tied to the pole and repeatedly cut (oh, Indra, you hurt my fave!), she is cleared by Clarke & Bellamy and Gustus is accused and ends up confessing he had done it. Later, we see Gustus tied to the pole receiving the same sentence, but it is carried out fully - the same exact thing that would have happened to Raven, that would have happened to Finn, that could have happened to Murphy. Raven is watching this, she’s felt at least 3 or 4 of the cuts herself, and she whispers out loud “This would have been Finn” while Clarke is watching Raven’s reaction. Raven turns to look over her shoulder AT Clarke and their eyes meet. Raven is clearly distraught, a look of anguish on her face. I know we aren’t given an entire conversation, but even if there is not full *forgiveness* on Raven’s part towards Clarke here, there is absolutely UNDERSTANDING. Raven understands that what Clarke did to Finn WAS a mercy, after experiencing it herself and seeing it happen to Gustus. We are deliberately shown this scene. 

We can consider that Raven may still be upset that Finn cheated on her, that Clarke caught his interest. She may or may not have unresolved feelings that result in anger or frustration with Clarke over this. BUT - keep in mind that we got a scene in 2x05 where Raven tells Clarke “I’ve been waiting out here all night” to check up on Clarke and the two have an obviously affectionate hug. This is plenty of time after Raven has broken up with Finn (that was in 1x10). If Raven was still holding a large grudge regarding Clarke and jealousy over Finn, this scene certainly puts that into question, or at least means it’s not something at the forefront of Raven’s mind.  

We can also consider that Raven may feel that part of the reason Finn died was because of his interest in Clarke - he went to that village looking for Clarke, after all - BUT... I go back to the 2x09 scene to tell us that Raven understands what Clarke did, and in fact I think it shows that Raven appreciates that she did it after having seen the result on Gustus herself. We have evidence of how Raven feels - on multiple levels - when it comes to Finn & Clarke, and I do think we have to reflect on the canon when we ask ourselves what she might STILL be feeling, or what might get stirred up by a Becho/Bellarke triangle in S6. In addition to time passing between Finn’s cheating and his death and the whole triangle scenario, we also have Raven’s own actions (the hug with Clarke, my belief that she shows understanding towards Clarke’s mercy killing, the rest of season 3, 4 and parts of season 5 that show them working together as a team among other things) that show that Raven isn’t actively holding a grudge. 

In S1x11, there is a series of scenes between Raven & Monty where Raven wants to dismantle a lot of their communication devices in order to make functional walkie-talkies for the delinquents. At one point she tells Monty she needs a component from their radio to use, but he says no because it is their only way to contact The Ark. Raven tells him The Ark’s not there, there’s nothing to hear from them anymore, and Monty replies that his family is up there - ie, he’s not ready to give up hope, he doesn’t want to take apart the radio and lose their chance of hearing from The Ark. Raven IS somewhat unemotional here - she says “I’m sorry” but takes the wiring off the radio anyway. 

To me, this scene does illustrate what some people say about her - that she ignores other people because she feels that her decision is the right one or that it’s the most logical. But even so, she acknowledges that she’s over-riding Monty with the “I’m sorry” and even more importantly - we get another scene between the two later in this same episode where Raven deliberately brings it up again. She says “Hey, I’m sorry, about before, really, and about your family.” She looks sad and remorseful when she says it, and Monty gives her a genuine “Thanks” in response. This scene also comes after Raven used Bellamy (and he used her too, that’s a whole other discourse) to rid herself of some of her conflicted feelings about Finn/Clarke (and she herself says it didn’t work). So I think it’s important to point out that even amongst her own personal issues, she recognizes that she didn’t show sympathy to Monty the first time around and that it’s weighing on her. So when she sees him again, SHE brings it up, SHE apologizes and acknowledges that she dismissed his perspective. This is not a character who is unfeeling or does not experience regret. 

Towards the end of 1x11, we get a rare scene with Raven & Octavia as they look for Finn and Clarke in the woods. Raven voluntarily confesses to Octavia that earlier that day, Raven had thought that things would be easier if Finn was just... gone. As in, the fallout from their breakup, Raven’s emotional pain over it, her unresolved feelings, perhaps jealousy of Clarke, etc. But now that Finn and Clarke are missing, Raven is expressing that she feels guilt for these feelings. Again, this is not a character who is unfeeling or shows that she does not have self-reflection. 

In 2x05, we see Raven helping Bellamy, Clarke & Octavia escape Camp Jaha through the fence so they can try to help those at Mt. Weather. Abby finds out about this and slaps Raven across the face (oh, Abby you done pissed me off over this one). Raven IMMEDIATELY sees Abby’s remorse even though we have a lot of hints that Raven’s mother abused her emotionally - and maybe physically, we’re not sure. Raven actually pushes a cup of water closer to Abby and stays at the table. Her actions both in this scene and in regards to Abby later show that Raven does not hold a grudge, in fact still seems to look up to Abby in a lot of ways (consider Becca’s Island in S4, and how Raven shares the ‘cure’ for ALIE when Abby sends people to rescue her before Praimfaya). In fact, I suggest that Raven would not feel nearly as betrayed by Abby over the shock-collar incident in S5 if Raven had not fully forgiven Abby over this slap.

In 2x14, we are shown Raven asking Wick for help with the acid fog. She says thanks to him, she shows frustration with herself that she can’t solve the problem. It is no stretch by now that we as an audience should understand that Raven puts a lot of pressure on herself to solve problems.  

In S3, Raven spent a good portion of it hijacked by ALIE. Everything she says after taking the key to the City of Light is influenced by that, by ALIE’s motivations. She calls out Clarke, Jasper, Bellamy - but this is ALIE’s influence making her say it. ALIE makes Raven try to hurt herself so that Raven will die before they EMP her, but once Raven is herself again in 3x11, the first scene we get of her speaking (other than crying out in pain), is her telling Jasper “I’m so sorry for all the crap I said” but then teases he deserved the punch in the face (they both laugh at this). The argument can be made that we do not see her apologize to Clarke or Bellamy, and we also don’t see a scene where she learns about what Monty did to his mother as part of saving Raven. As a fan of Raven, I know this next point could come across as defensive, but I do think it’s relevant that while they are focusing on stopping ALIE right away, Sinclair is killed protecting Raven (noooo!!!!), and that creates some trauma that certainly distracts from everything that happened. The 100 never lets us see every conversation or have resolution to everything we’d like, so we can only look at what comes after, and we don’t actively see a lack of connection between Raven with Monty, Clarke or Bellamy. We see Monty choosing to stay behind in 3x12 with Raven in order to work on ALIE issues, and in the same episode, Raven & Clarke hug goodbye and Raven & Bellamy exchange a fond arm squeeze when Clarke and Bellamy leave them behind. Raven hugs Jasper goodbye too and makes a move to do the same with Octavia but Octavia is hurt by the recent funeral of Lincoln and Sinclair and isn’t even looking at anyone. It is Monty who turns away from *Jasper* here, showing a broken connection. 

I mentioned that the 100 never lets us see every interaction, and I want to go back to 2 events that I think people might look at when they say Raven is not remorseful/doesn’t feel guilty for her actions. We have both Raven torturing Lincoln in S1 (for a cure for Finn), and Raven’s willingness to turn Murphy over to the Grounders instead of Finn in S2. Both valid concerns, and I think they do show that Raven isn’t a pacifist (she is not), and that she can be motivated by emotional issues (ie, losing a loved one). Raven chooses to torture Lincoln for information after Octavia and Clarke beg for answers and after Bellamy and others have already tried torture, AND after Finn has had surgery (via Clarke) and has stopped breathing. The torture is not her first option and I think there is desperation in her actions, her tone & words (he’s all I have). She also puts HERSELF in danger for Finn - she starts a fight with other Skaikru in Camp Jaha and punches a guard who she was afraid would turn Finn over in 2x08. This gets her arrested and she only is safe because Abby is the Chancellor. With Murphy, I think that she does feel guilty about what she’s doing, but her loyalty (and guilt) to Finn outweighs it, and her desire to punish Murphy for her leg injury probably plays a part too. She’s willing to put herself in harm’s way, so she’ll put Murphy there because that’s even easier. I think this is an acceptable loss for her but she doesn’t take pleasure in it. Does this make her a bad person or a worse person than someone else on the show? We could have a big discussion about it, but I would venture that it doesn’t make her any different than a lot of others who are still alive. I would also venture that Raven’s motivations are complicated here - she loves Finn as her family but also feels guilty that he took the blame for something she did (the spacewalking). When I look at the scene in 2x08 where she suggests giving the Grounders Murphy, her face is pretty stony, but then she will not look Murphy in the eye over it - she knows what she’s doing is wrong. When Finn stops it, she looks resigned but not outraged, and she doesn’t really push for her plan. When Murphy walks by her looking at her VERY accusingly (because he definitely feels betrayed here), she won’t look at him then either. She’s not proud of her actions, but with subtext I feel like we can - and should - feel like she’s been backed into a corner on what to do. She TELLS Clarke, later in the episode, that she owes Finn her life. This is certainly a motivating factor, rather than Raven just being a bloodthirsty person. 

In S4, I could go on and on and on and on (and on and on and on) about the scenes between Raven & Murphy. But here I will just sum up to make the point - there is absolutely no misunderstanding that Raven deliberately and obviously chooses to forgive Murphy, both with actual words and with a hug. 

In 4x04, I also think it’s worth pointing out that Raven tries to stop Luna from escaping the beach and getting back into the boat - first with a gun & threat, but then she changes tactics and talks about the innocent lives that will be saved by Luna, like the child that Luna loved and lost. It’s subtext, yes, but I think this conversation is Raven’s recognition that her decision to deprive Adria of the medicine (by rationing it) was not the right choice and that Raven understands that people deserve a chance more than she did before. She even asks Luna “don’t you want to give them a chance?” and then she puts down the gun and gives Luna the choice to stay or leave, even though Raven knows it could result in humanity losing what they see as its last chance via the nightblood. She asks Luna for help to save the others, and in this conversation, Raven points out her own weakness - her leg, and that she “...can’t do it herself”. This is an echo of how she asked Wick for help before. She also tells Luna that it’s not her blood that defines her, it’s her heart. This is Raven actively breaking her own cycle of choosing logic over her emotion (not letting Adria have the medicine). This is such an important scene for her! Raven had very logical reasons for not wanting to use the medicine - she told them all to Abby and Raven believed them herself. But - in 4x03 Raven does show that she is affected by Abby’s emotional plea to have the medicine despite the logic. Raven gets teary over it and tries to distract herself with work. Later, she watches Adria die, and even knowing that Raven was RIGHT, that the medicine did NOT save Adria, she still feels awful, feels responsible and sad about it. Her logic may have been the right choice but she still lets herself be influenced enough by this that she’s willing to let Luna go even when it is NOT the logical choice. This is not a character who believes that her way is the only way, this is not a character who does not consider other people’s feelings. 

In 4x08 “God Complex”, Raven watches the results of the nightblood test on ‘Baylis’ and is clearly horrified. In fact, Raven questions Clarke & Abby in front of everyone when the possibility of more testing is on the table, certainly suggesting an opposition for someone else suffering. She expresses opposition to putting Emori in the chamber next, she gives Murphy the kind of look that suggests understanding and empathy for his situation, and she castigates Roan for calling Emori a slur. She makes the comparison to what Mt. Weather did when they want to take Luna’s bone marrow against her will. This is not a character that doesn’t put herself in other people’s shoes, this is not a character without empathy. She is siding with those in weaker positions, with less power, and she is using her voice to share their perspective here. In addition, I would like to point out that she listens to both Murphy and Luna in S4 when they give her suggestions about landing the rocket in order to help make the nightblood - so what if they aren’t technically smart in the same way she is. She listens and learns from them and that is how the solution is found. 

In S5, we see Raven interacting with all of Spacekru in ways that suggest there are no lingering big issues to divide them from the past. IE, she and Echo aren’t shown arguing about Mt. Weather, she and Monty aren’t shown arguing about what happened with ALIE, she doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge against Murphy for her leg. Their issues seem to be in the past. However, Raven absolutely is shown having GUILT for not getting them down to Earth already. In 5x01, Bellamy makes a comment/criticism about it and Raven clearly takes that to heart in reaction - we see that she blames herself and Emori sticks up for her saying that it’s not due to lack of trying. In 5x03, Raven tells Bellamy “It has to be me... please, let me get you all home.” She lies and is willing to sacrifice herself in order to save the rest of them, and death is on the table here - Bellamy says he left Clarke behind to die and that he won’t do that again, which brings it up, and Raven mentions it herself when Murphy stays behind with her, saying “dying alone would have sucked.” So Raven knows that death is absolutely a possibility of this choice. And once again, we see her taking Murphy’s suggestion about the Eligius criminals in favor of her choice, showing that she’s again open to changing her mind/listening to others. 

Also in S5, as soon as Raven finds out that Clarke is alive via the walkie-talkies, the FIRST thing she wants to tell her is thank you - to thank Clarke for saving their lives. Clearly this has weighed on her. This also does not suggest to me that there is any kind of grudge over Finn that Raven has been nursing - at least not one that is in the forefront of Raven’s mind. 

Obviously I could talk about this all day. But the whole point was for me to lay out some aspects of Raven’s character that I think show that she does possess character traits such as empathy, unselfishness, willingness to listen to others, and that I don’t think she holds other people to higher standards than she holds herself. Of course she gets angry at times, she might want her own way and yes, she may feel that she is smarter than other people (I would argue that she has reasons for this though! LOL!). BUT - this is because she’s a layered personality and she doesn’t exist on a one-dimensional plane. To me, Raven is actually one of the MOST forgiving people on the show (another example, in 2x08 she tells Finn they will always be family and he admonishes her not to let him off the hook so easily, acknowledging that he did her wrong), so it’s difficult to read commentary about her as an unforgiving figure. I tend to see the opposite of that, and while some if it may be because I love her, I also think I have made the point here that canon shows us that she IS very nuanced and quite forgiving. 

Well... like my stories, obviously I can go on! Better go back up and add one of those cut line thingies. Anyway, if you stuck with me this far, by now you are aware I love Raven. But hopefully you are also aware, if you didn’t already know it, that she’s awesome and there’s no way in heck that she’s selfish or unforgiving. If S6 decides to lean her towards more of those traits, then I would ask if these are plot devices or character motivations, because just like the best dad on the show agrees, “And I choose Raven Reyes over those three hacks any day and twice on Sunday.”

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 31: Thoughts on 4x08 God Complex

Finally watched 4x08, like about half an hour ago. I’m actually quite looking forward to the hiatus because this show is too stressful.

It occurred to me earlier today (when I was wondering if I’ve been unnecessarily harsh to The 100 in some of my week-to-week reactions) that I really almost never watch tv shows as they air and I kind of don’t know how to do it, intellectually or emotionally. Usually, I pick up a show that’s already completed its run, or, if it’s still being produced, I wait until a whole season has aired and then I watch it at my own pace. Which is a much better way to get the whole narrative together and make a fair assessment of it, good and bad. It’s harder to read a story that’s not been completely told yet and I find it very...tiring trying to do so here.

Anyway I don’t have much to say on this ep, or at least, I’m going to try not to. I generally found it... frustrating. There were little things I liked and little things I hated and the overall picture was... I don’t know. Like a lot of this season, if it gets pulled together by the end I’ll be pleased and if it doesn’t I’ll be annoyed but I just can’t predict anything and I don’t want to try. (On a related note, my reactions to the episodes have been so all over the place that I really have no idea what I’ll think of this season when it’s all said and done.)

I didn’t like almost anything in the Science Island story. I’m too tired and it’s too late for me to explain why but mostly I’m just...sick of people pretending they have no choice. I’m not entirely sure the line “we have no choice” was uttered in 4x08 (I don’t think it was), but plenty of equivalent lines were uttered, and it was there in all of the silences. I didn’t really think Emori would be experimented on--it was too gross and obviously wrong. But in the build up to the final resolution of the problem--the exact contours of which I didn’t predict--I was basically just annoyed with everyone. Except Murphy, I liked Murphy. He had some good scenes.

I liked the other two story lines quite a bit, and don’t have much bad to say about them.

A few small things I liked:

Kane’s ‘Indra used a gun’ face was second only to Monty’s ‘I’m not a virgin anymore’ face in the excellent expressions hall of fame.

Monty got to save the day!

Indra: killing it.

Jaha: killing it. (Though I did laugh when he tried the key all dramatically and nothing happened omg.)

I like seeing something of what a party on the Ark would look like.

Really really liked the Jasper and Bellamy in the woods scene. For pretty obvious reasons.

I also love Niylah and I liked her little scene with Jasper, like ‘do you want to get high off this medicine?’ and he’s like UM YEAH HAVE YOU MET ME?

This isn’t something I liked or disliked but I just want to point out that I’m about 95% certain that Jasper and Bellamy were ingesting drugs, not drinking alcohol, in that last bit of scene when they knock back the solo cups. Just putting that out there for the record.

Miscellaneous obnoxious things:

I literally just clicked to another tab during the Monty/H*rper scene lol and pretended it wasn’t happening. Still hate them, going to go to my grave hating them.

Speaking of, if H*rper is becoming nihilistic and prone to alcohol abuse, and is going to join the DNR Squad in the next ep, then LITERALLY WHAT IS THE POINT OF MONTY/H*RPER?? This question is both serious and rhetorical. Like literally if that’s where she’s going, and it’s where Jasper already is, then why even introduce this new relationship in Monty’s life when an already established, considerably better thought out, and miles deeper relationship that does the exqct same thing ALREADY EXISTS? Because everything’s deeper if two people are fucking? Idgi.

Sometimes I love Clarke and sometimes (like through a lot of 2B, 2x16, and then like a lot of 3A...and 3B) I kind of hate her. And in this ep she was at PEAK obnoxious level. I’m sorry. But she was. She loves to martyr herself and I can’t stand it. (I’m actually referring to her attitude through the majority of the episode, not when she nightblooded herself, funnily enough.) Also I just wanted to rip my hair out at “I bear it so they don’t have to” because even having had all this time to ruminate on that phrase she STILL DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. And neither does this fandom. Get back to me when you can parse context on the level of a college freshman at least. (Also ironically, she was acting more like Dante, and more closely following ‘I bear it so they don’t have to’ at least in its first step, in sacrificing Emori than in sacrificing herself BUT WHATEVER NOT BITTER ABOUT THIS AT ALL.)

I wait ages and ages and ages for my dark horse surprise low-key fave Miller to return from his spa vacation and then he gets like TWO LINES and DOES ALMOST NOTHING like he’s a GLORIFIED EXTRA I mean this is frankly abhorrent.

Why does Jasper want to get the glitter berries when the last time he ingested them he was plagued by frightening visions?

Did he literally make a new Earth Day shirt and if so out of what? Or is this a question of the writers/PTB just not knowing their own show? Because that shirt was ripped up to make a bandage for Octavia, pierced through with a spear, and then stolen by Grounders. There is no way in fiery hell Jasper still has it. And almost as unlikely he had TWO.

Also how many times did Bellamy say ‘whatever the hell we want’ during their early ground days because, by the way, Jasper didn’t hear him say it when the audience did in that scene in 1x01. He was on the Mt. Weather trek with Clarke, Monty, Finn, and Octavia. Guess we’ve just forgotten about that too.

There were probably other annoying things but I can’t remember them and I gotta chill and sleep. I’ve been awake waaaaay too long.

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 24: Thoughts on 4x07 Gimme Shelter

Okay, I finally watched 4x07... It’s hard to gather my thoughts on it, though. I feel like I have a lot and they’re all sort of jumbled up.

In general, I did like it. I thought it was way better than the last two episodes, both of which I kind of hated tbh, especially 4x05. There were some weak points and some things I didn’t quite get or would quibble over but my overall feeling is a positive one. I liked the two main story lines, I thought there were several really good moments, and I was impressed with the episode’s ability to actually have a coherent and clear theme.

The Arkadia/Bellamy Story:

One of my big complaints this season has been that story line after story line after story line lacks tension because the general structure of the episode and the season make the outcome of the alleged conundrum predictable. This time, for once, I actually felt the sort of tension I felt when watching season 2 (well, okay, a slightly weaker version of it)--I actually didn’t know what was going to happen. Maybe that’s weak of me and I should have known that Bellamy wouldn’t be able to save Mark and Peter but I was still hoping for a last minute solution (unlike previous story lines, saving the Coltons wouldn’t have made overall survival any more or less likely, so it wasn’t completely insane to think that Bellamy could have been successful). The last scene before he loses contact with them, stuck in the Rover, was like... honestly a nightmare scenario for me, I mean this literally, I have had nightmares on exactly this theme, searching for some solution to some problem and finding none, so I was definitely emotionally compromised by it.

I was also very pleased that--even though Bellamy’s obsession with the Coltons was obviously from start to finish a surrogate for his worry about Octavia--we finally got to hear someone mention a member of the 100. I really thought I’d have to give up on anyone caring about that particular affiliation ever again. Literally everyone other than the named members of the 100 (by my count...8 people?) has completely disappeared into the ether so I was really beyond excited to hear someone talk about someone else as “one of the 100″ again.

You know how before S3 there was this talk about Bellamy being acknowledged as a hero finally and then instead his character was totally assassinated? LOL I feel like that statement should have been prefaced with “IN SEASON 4″ so at least I could have known how long I’d have to wait for heroic Bellamy to come back from war. I’m not saying this is the first time we’ve seen him since season 2 because it’s obviously not, but still, I loved it, I loved seeing him intense and devoted and trying so very hard.

I also really liked the Bellamy and Kane conversation toward the end, over the Rover radio. This is probably bad of me, but I laughed when Bellamy said “You floated my mom” not because it’s funny but just how sudden it was, like, ‘I hear you trying to be my dad and you’re not my dad!!!’ Also because I like when characters’ pasts are things that like actually still exist since that’s pretty hit and miss with this show. Also because I personally head canon Kane as a prosecutor figure on the Ark and this semi-confirms this view (or we’re just supposed to read the line as being like ‘you, a council member, were generally responsible for my mom’s death’ which is also possible).

I still maintain that Harper has negligible personality but I did like her little mini theme-reinforcing story line here.

Oh also today’s story reinforces what I’ve thought this whole season, which was that Jasper’s little trick about committing suicide by standing out in the “black rain” was not as reprehensible as people think, in fact not reprehensible at all, because if it were black rain he would have felt it right away so like he was obviously not in danger--it’s not his fault that other people are dumb and fell for such fakery lol.

The Island Story Line

This one is more complicated for me. I liked a lot of things about it but I also had some...uncertainties about it and it’s hard to separate the two.

First, the moral issue of the day... Okay, yes, as an initial matter, I still have enough of a soul to be disgusted by the idea of forcibly experimenting on people, like I’m not a completely heartless bitch (even though I think a lot of my episode reactions make me seem that way). But because I have no idea who this Grounder fellow is, and because he really fortuitously just fell into their laps--more on my thoughts on this later--it’s hard for me to feel what I think the full impact of the moral conundrum is. Just as I didn’t really, viscerally, emotionally care about the 4x02 slaves because I didn’t know who they are, I don’t really care about Baylis or whoever he is because he’s pretty much the definition of a rando. I would much, much, much rather a character I didn’t even know existed 24 hours ago die and all my faves live than my faves take the moral high road and give themselves up to death to save some dude I know literally nothing about.

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m stuck between ‘this is really gross’ and ‘this isn’t gross enough.’ The arrival of Baylis is such an obvious narrative out, a having cake and eating it too scenario: you’ll see our heroes doing something bad, but not, like, REALLY bad, don’t worry. But can I really be upset about that? My revulsion is going to limited anyway because disgust at medical experiments is sort of a theme we’ve already traveled on this show so I’ve built up a tolerance and also... if Abby et. al. were really the new Mt. Weather and I felt the same way about them as I felt about,, say Dr. Tsing in S2, I couldn’t still continue to identify with them as the protagonists of the story. So the narrative is necessarily somewhat constrained in that way.

Speaking of Mt. Weather...have the Sky People learned nothing from their own past experiences?? Yes, today’s moral conundrum was about whether to do the experiment to see if bone marrow works as a treatment, but if it DOES, then the next moral conundrum seems incredibly obvious to me and I’m just wondering why no one has brought it up? Like Abby was literally tortured by the last people who thought using others’ bone marrow was a good idea? You’d think she’d remember that. Maybe I’m just missing something, in which case I’m going to feel very dumb, but it’s sort of hard not to associate bone marrow with Mt. Weather in the context of this show. From S2 I learned that one person’s bone marrow can supply something like 8 people with radiation inoculation--if you’re willing to kill the “donor.” So unless Luna’s bone marrow is going to be used in a very different way, for example as like the basis for a synthetic bone marrow style substance, which maybe is where they’re going but it wasn’t very clear to me at least on an initial watch, they can save 8 people if they’re willing to kill her which seems...not great. (Really, thinking about this, their plan HAS to be using something IN her marrow to make a magic solution substance, right? Like there’s no way that’s not the plot.)

That being said at least we’re not going into fucking space I mean WOW THAT WAS SO DUMB I’M STILL NOT OVER HOW DUMB IT WAS. Still a waste of like 2 episodes but I’ll forgive them as long as I never hear “let’s just fly away into space like nbd” ever again.

As I was saying about Baylis. I’m all over the place on my thoughts on this. In general, I do feel like his appearance is super convenient, as I said above, especially since prior to this we’ve literally never heard of anyone else being on the island, of “scavengers,” or of particular Bad People in Emori’s past (besides, you know, her whole family who kicked her out--but that’s fairly obviously not who Baylis allegedly is). We heard some talk about ‘worse things than drones’ on the island but nothing as specific as what we got in this episode. And if random Grounders really are the ‘worse things’ we were forewarned about, by the way, what a disappointment. I was waiting for genetically engineered monsters. Yet again, The 100 meta writers >> The 100′s actual writers. My problem with contrived narratives like this is that they take me out of the story. All I can think is ‘I see you writers, pulling the strings, constructing this narrative.’ That’s a fine thing to think AFTER watching or maybe on a second or third rewatch but a well constructed story shouldn’t feel like a narrative on the first viewing, imo. You should be feeling it too deeply to be analyzing it on the level of construction.

So I thought it was heavy-handed. And I also was sitting there wondering “when is someone FINALLY going to bring up that Baylis would be a great experimental subject???” Because I had come to that conclusion during his fight with Emori--back to the ‘this season is predictable’ theme I guess. I didn’t think the Dramatic Moment of Clarke suggesting experimenting on him was earned because, like, duh, why else was he even written into the show except to be a test subject? However, I will give this point a little bit of slack because of that final scene: finding out that Emori was acting the entire time--that, within the universe of the show, SHE was pulling the strings--made a lot of the earlier obviously-contrived-ness forgivable. Like, okay, it feels fake, but that’s because it IS.

And about Emori... Unpopular opinion time. I liked her, was intrigued by her, when she was introduced in S2. But I found her very lackluster (in terms of writing/conception, not in terms of performance) in S3. I didn’t think the writers really developed her in any way. I realize this could be disputed with textual evidence, for example, how she goes from trusting no one but her brother, to trusting and relying on Murphy, or how she learns to accept her deformity. But I’m talking more, I don’t know, emotionally, I just couldn’t see what difference she made to the story, I just couldn’t connect with her. I feel like she is largely a female Grounder version of Murphy, but less compelling because I know her less and see less of her. Her constant sole motivating factor is her own survival, which makes her very predictable and one-note. Similarly, her relationship with Murphy bores me because we never saw it develop, all of the getting together stuff happened off screen, and then once they were together they basically became like the same character twice over, interacting with itself.

BUT I really did like Emori in this episode. And I finally saw something in her that was compelling to me: how incredibly, incredibly sharp she is. Like that con she played, it wasn’t just on Clarke or on Murphy, it was on ME. I guess in a way I’m saying she earned my respect.

Also Luisa D’Oliviera’s voice is gorgeous, like why have I not noticed that before? When she and Clarke were walking in the woods in particular, ugh, beautiful.

I’m still not really on the Murphy/Emori ship but I will admit they were hella cute in this episode.

I don’t know how Murphy learned how to cook but I like that he does. I also like this “Murphy flirts with everyone” trait they’ve decided to give him these last couple of seasons. I definitely saw him as more ‘awkward boy trying to be cool’ in early Season 1 but I guess all of his experiences have just thrown him into the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude, which frees him up to flirt with everyone for fun and without worry.

But...what the fuck is a randzi?

One (more?) complaint about this story line though: The impact of the Baylis story was lessened considerably as it was told, imo, in that I could never quite get a purchase on WHAT he had (allegedly) done to Emori--maybe this is just my prurient interest, but I thought they cut a lot of corners in just painting him as a generically abusive bad guy. Sometimes I was tempted to read him as an abusive ex-boyfriend...but he also abused her brother and then there’s that ‘scared little girl’ line. Was he one of the people who cast her out? She talks about that event but also says it happened when she was an infant, so this must be someone she met later...I suppose someone who took advantage of her and her brother’s vulnerability while they were on their own. I eventually settled on a non-literal Bad Uncle type. I’m not saying I need a play-by-play on the abuse, but it just...I was constantly trying to figure out exactly what they were talking about and it started to feel a little contrived (again), how generically he was painted as A Bad Person Just Trust Me He’s Bad. But then that last scene makes me think...was it contrived on purpose? Maybe. Still, Emori’s abuser is, apparently, a real person: Murphy’s line toward the end is “He’s not the guy?” not “The story was fake?” So if the story was real, Emori could have used real details if she’d wanted--the details weren’t hidden from the viewer because she was bullshitting the whole thing but because, I can only assume, the writers were too lazy to write them in, and that, I don’t respect.

Oh, also, that line about saving themselves first and then restoring their humanity, that Kane says, is another one of those faux-deep The 100 lines that I always have to roll my eyes at (like “I bear it so they don’t have to” when Clarke says it, or “No one is innocent” when divorced from its original context, or my personal favorite “You don’t ease pain you overcome it” or whatever that 3x16 nonsense was). Again, did Mt. Weather teach you nothing? Once you’ve done something SO BAD that it erases your humanity itself, it’s gone; you don’t get it back. Maybe if someone actually listened to Dante we wouldn’t still be having these problems lol.

Also also: I’m still on the fence about these Ultra Modern Aesthetics like in Becca’s lab and house, but it was nice seeing Clarke shower, look clean, and rest. And I liked the almost horror-movie scene where she first sees there’s been an intruder in the house. But...was there blood on the pillow of that bed or am I just totally imagining things??

Octavia and Ilian

Two hotties I don’t care about, basically.

I honestly cannot conceive of anything Ilian could do or say that would make me care about him ever so.

I get why Octavia is Annoyingly Dramatic: she’s sixteen. She’s sixteen with an added dose of stunted emotional growth from literally knowing only 2 human beings for most of her life. But that doesn’t make her dead inside emo child bit any less obnoxious to me. (I realize I am a semi-hypocrite about this given some things I DO like and even worse some things I’ve actually written myself but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.)

I know everyone saw I/O coming from a million miles away and so did I but that doesn’t make it any less nonsense. That said...I wouldn’t mind seeing Octavia become a sheep herder. I mean I’m so tired of her current state of being that anything would be a nice change of pace but like a real 180 about-face might be kind of refreshing. It might be nonsense...but when was the last time O wasn’t nonsense? Like at least it would be relaxing nonsense.

And on the trailer: Yes Jasper. Yes Miller is finally back from his extended spa vacation or whatever he was doing.