FEBHYURARY 2024 :: Day 12 - Feelings
I am a restrained person.
Otherwise my heart would race past my
tongue to pour out everything.
Instead I mumble,
I gnaw myself.
I lose hope.
And my mind is burning.
(Aiskhylos, Agamemnon trs. by Anne Carson)
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Pike’s family is the worst. But her send off to them
PRICELESS
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5 - Prayer
As much as Marco Rossellini is a pain in my ass, I will admit that he’s given me good lodgings. I had anticipated a single room in some motel, and having to board my own windows - but I seem to have taken someone else’s haven. I share a house with some of his other men. When they see me enter a room, they skitter away like little bugs. This is fine by me.
I’ve been allotted one room towards the back of the house. I managed to get my hands on a few privacy screens, so I’ve divided the room into two, with my second room leading into the closet.
Each night, I wake up, and enter the first chamber. I strip, I brush my hair, and lightly wash my body. As each one of these earthly attachments leaves my body, and I become ready to stand bare before my God, and offer my praise and devotion.
Before this, before Set and my sire, I was a scared little girl who hid in closets. Even then, I felt safe in the dark. The simple fact was that no one could see me, and because of that, I was free to do whatever I needed to in order to get through whatever had driven me in there. Mostly, I cried, prayed, and waited. I didn’t pray to Set then, and I was given no answers or comfort. I would wait until the fighting stopped, and go to comfort my mother. Then, we would pray again, together.
It was my fault, you know. I came out with a shock of red hair, freckles peppered across me, and my father thought that meant my mother had gone to bed with an Irish friend of his. She always swore she didn’t, and I believe her, because I always admired her honesty, and how much she loved my father - despite everything.
Sometimes I wish things could have happened differently. If my mother had lived, I could have liberated her - like I was liberated. I could have brought her to a God that would have heard her prayers, and done something to her.
I could have lead her to the inner chamber with me. Here, in Atlantic City, I use my closet for this. I shut the door behind me, and I let the darkness overtake me.
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Auraugust Day 4: Tank
He grew tired of losing people he loved, so he took up a blade to defend them with.
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WALK HIM LIKE A DOG
@hellion-child you did this. Inspired by this legendary post.
‘It’s not illegal to go to the dog park, just to hear hot dads say Good Girl.’
Rating: M CW: overusage of the term daddy and Eddie just being a horny bastard.
——
“You know, this is fucking insane, right?” Chrissy laughs while Eddie lounges on the park bench.
Yes. He’s aware.
He and Chrissy don’t even have a dog and yet—
“Chris. Look at all of these great pet parents, taking care of these little doggies. Look at em. Wonderful. Stunning, very normal.”
Chrissy levels him with a glare. Being on the wrong side of a Chrissy glare is a scary thing, but alas his dog park visits are worth it.
“No. Look, listen. You’ve got all of these doggy daddies taking their lovely pups out for runs and walks and what not and then daddy wraps up his run and takes the precious ones to this here dog park. Woof.”
It really was worth it to Eddie, alright? There is nothing wrong with going to a public dog park to maybe hear a hot sweaty man coo at his dog.
‘Good Boy’
‘Precious Girl’
Bark bark bark or whatever.
Would Eddie ever talk to any of them? Absolutely the fuck not, but a man could dream.
He was bummed though because none of the hot guys were out, today.
Damn.
He is busy scanning the area to see if he missed anyone, Chrissy yapping on and on about how they could just get a dog when someone slows their run to chat.
“Hi!” She says. This woman is tall, short hair messed up from running, she’s got a bright ass orange jacket on, and she is most certainly Chrissy’s type. Thats not fucking fair at all, now is it?
Chrissy’s complaining tapers off. “Hey.”
They smile at each other, and this is truly unfair, Eddie thinks. This whole dog park thing was for him and yet.
“I hope you don’t mind, but me and my best friend just moved to the area and honestly, I think you’re pretty so—I just thought I would say hi.” She hardly makes eye contact with Eddie. So it’s clear who she’s talking to.
Like recognizes like, he supposes.
He can respect the straight forwardness of it all. Chrissy is just kinda staring at her so he speaks up. “Well, I’m Eddie and this is Chrissy, and I can confidently say that she also thinks you’re pretty.”
Both woman turn to stare and him, Chrissy with big eyes and the other woman with a smirk. She speaks, “Well, it must be my lucky day.” She turns back to Chrissy, “I’m Robin.”
The two get talking and Eddie is happy for his best friend, he really is, but where are all the hot men?
He’s about ready to call it quits when he sees a fucking god, running with a ridiculously stunning dog.
Hot people own hot dogs, he supposes.
This guy is—fuck. He’s sweaty from running, and his hair is fucking gorgeous, even after activities. Thats a green flag. Eddie is just shocked.
This is the dog daddy of all dog daddies. He’s wearing tiny fucking red shorts that expose thighs for days and—
“Jesus fuckin’—see?” Eddie doesn’t even care that he is interrupting the girls conversation cause this guys is—god damn. “He could slap a collar on me and walk me like a dog.”
Chrissy balks. “Eddie. We are in the company of a new friend. Robin doesn’t deserves this.”
Eddie simply shrugs and Robin laughs, “No. I think it’s hilarious which guy caught your eye?”
Oh, he likes Robin. “I like her. Get her number—“ He smiles big at Chrissy, before gesturing towards the fucking Adonis in tiny little running shorts. “Anywhozle. That one, look at him. On my knees in a second.”
He ignores Chrissy’s eye roll, and watches as Robin takes in the guy, before busting out in a laugh. “Oh my god—Steve?”
Oh shit.
“I—do you—“ Abort mission. Abort abort.
“Oh yeah, remember that best friend I was telling you guys about?”
She is still laughing, and Chrissy joins her before handing Robin her phone.
Eddie feels like he just got bamboozled.
“Chrissy, babe, I’ll text you. Eddie? I’ll see what I can do.” She smiles at them both before running over to ‘Steve’ and his—their?— gorgeous dog.
“No wait I—“ Eddie tries but she’s already over with Steve who is listening intently to what Robin has to say.
Oh god, oh no. Oh god.
Chrissy is just laughing softly into her hand, which turns into full laughter quick because Steve turns to look at them, smiles and winks.
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💖 2024 Steddie Fic Recs 💖
@thefreakandthehair and i were talking about how so many of the fics we can name off the top of our heads are from right after the show came out because we were still actively making rec lists back then, so:
in no particular order i present to you an incomplete list of fics i love that were published or completed within the last two months
short fics (<10k)
Found God In A Tomato by @beetlesandstarss
5.7k | rated M | fluff, text fic
syrupy sweet strangers to first date fic. without spoiling anything, eddie is a flustered cutie and steve is a fuckin' menace who's lucky he's so hot
he tightened he grip by @steddieas-shegoes
1.3k | rated E | crack not treated remotely seriously
Mickala beloved your commitment to the bit makes me wanna commit myself to you 💍
Slide It In by gayhandshake
1.8k | rated E | multimedia crack
another truly impeccable work of crack fic, i laughed so hard at the first image that i made it the icon for my private discord server
what's that sound? (there's a funny man at my door) by @jewishrat420
4.8k | rated M | spicy six text fic
laughed out loud at this fic so many times i really don't know what else to tell you. as a matter of fact, i went to look at my bookmark note to see what else i had to say about it when i read it, and my note just says "fucking hilarious i laughed out loud like 6 times" 💀 did not do not will never know what else to tell you except that the phrase "the goyim of gender" just randomly pops into my brain once every four or so days now
medium fics (10-20k)
In the Kitchen or the Tulips by @teddywesworl
44k | rated E | telepathic soulmate AU
this fic said "watch me flip this trope inside out like a freshly cubed half of an avocado" and then DELIVERED. i finished this fic and then stared at the side of my husband's head for long enough that he looked over and went "wtf are you doing" lmao hush baby i am contemplating the implications
they're going to send us to prison for jerks by @greatunironic
16k | rated E | social media AU
okay firstly the premise of this fic is so specifically and delightfully unhinged; love that i'm not the only one who looks at a random tiktok account and manically whispers to myself "there's a fic in there somewhere." secondly the execution is a 10 outta 10 outta 10 outta TEN
long fics (50k+)
Sneaky Link by @morningberriesao3
152k | rated E | onlyfans au
the sex is HOT the boys are dumb as goddamn ROCKS what more do you need? oh, what's that? you do need more? sick because this fic also has: the tags "cum slut eddie munson" and "everyone is gay (because i say so)", chrissy the homophobe slayer being the cutest little spy, and jason getting his ass whooped, like, spiritually. on a spiritual level. physically unharmed but that boy's soul is missing teeth do u understand what i am saying
podfics!
it was love, love alone read by @reena-jenkins
21min | rated E
am i technically reccing my own fic on my own fic rec list? you bet your sweet ass i am, i don't even care how tacky that is reena's performance is hilarious and deserves to be listened to at least 40 more times while doing the dishes
relax (lay it back) read by @flintandfuss
1hr 10min | rated E | yogi dom steve x sub eddie
listen if i'm already being gauche then i gotta include my internet wife's belated birthday present to me, like i gotta. morally and lustfully obligated.
Schiava by @teddywesworl read by aheada_lettuce
1hr 30min | rated E | kas!eddie AU
said it once already today and i'll say it again, i cannot believe one of the best reading voices i've ever heard belongs to a person i mentally refer to as fucking lettuce LOL anyway this read is incredible and i have listened to it Times(tm)
and lastly, if you want more recs (like, 348 more specifically), you can browse my full list of public st bookmarks here
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what if your tav was a little stupid and didnt realize vampires were real. this is my vision
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"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."
Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?
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It’s not that Jason came back to a changed family where he didn’t fit into the gap he left behind anymore. It’s the fact that his family never scooted over to make more space for him once he returned.
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BAWKtober Day 10 - Harvest Moon
Tastes best gathered under moonlight
If you wanna support my october doodles (or buy a treat for my spoiled, spoiled chickens) my kofi and commission links are in pinned post~
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Im so utterly taken with Wolfwood's eyes in Trimax, y'all. I cannot explain to you how much I love that part of his characterization. So much of him is right there, plain as day.
The way they give him away so completely. Truly windows into the soul he fears he doesn't have.
I can't handle the various themes and meanings in how he tries to keep them hidden. Chapel never could quite beat the humanity out of him no matter how much Wolfwood worries he's become a monster.
That sweet, compassionate, courageous, protective, and so so so terrified little boy is still right there behind those eyes.
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headcanon warning
bonus
no he doesn't
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Lucid Dreamer (2/2)
part 1
Gepard stalls almost a week before he finally goes out to the safehouse, and it takes him a couple days to find it because Sampo didn't have the time left to be wasn't super specific about the location. But he does find it.
It's pretty bare bones, really. Gepard knows that was probably to be expected, but… It feels crushing, when he realizes there are so few personal things here. It's nothing specific to Sampo. Just some food, some medical supplies. A cot and a heater and a lot of mismatched blankets. Nothing to remember someone by.
But he does find the letters, in a metal box stashed away under the bed.
There are two for him. Three for Natasha, and two for Seele. One for Hook, one for Serval, one for Pela, one for Bronya.
Bronya's is mostly business. They knew each other from the whole Stellaron incident, but not much beyond that, and the incoming catastrophe is a more pressing matter. Seele's is actually two copies of the same letter, and Gepard realizes why when Seele is so angry she rips the first one up without reading it. He gives her the copy a couple days later, and she slinks off without a word.
Pela seems completely normal after hers is delivered, but Gepard knows better than to trust that. The next day, he finds her asleep in bed with Serval, bottles abandoned on the floor, both their eye makeup smeared and running and Pela's glasses horribly smudged and crooked on her face. Serval doesn't read hers in front of him, but she's clingy with Gepard, Pela, and Lynx for quite a while after. She throws herself into her work a lot. She insists the heater from the safehouse is busted and she needs to keep it. It's too dangerous for use by someone who's not an engineer. Might burn their house down or something. Gepard doesn't argue.
Hook's letter is short, with easy to read words. The rest of it is actually a treasure map, and she and the moles spend the next several days running through the Underground, finding hidden candy and toys. Hook asks them when Sampo is coming back, because one of the marbles she found from his map looks green, just like his eyes, and she wants to give it to him. Natasha shoos Gepard out of the clinic before he can even begin to think of an answer.
Natasha refuses to let him see what's in her letters, which ok, fine, he'll respect that. He hears from Bronya who heard from Seele who heard from Natasha herself though that one of the letters was a map and the other a catalogue, with all of Sampo's hidden "warehouses." Gepard promptly marches himself back out to the frontlines, where he can turn a blind eye. If a ton of stolen goods suddenly enters the black market, and if the orphanage and the clinic suddenly have new supplies, well, technically that's none of his business.
Gepard goes to bed, curls up under mismatched blankets and closes his eyes.
He doesn't dream.
One of Gepard's letters was also business, like Bronya's and Natasha's. He and Bronya follow everything meticulously, down to the letter, because there has to be some good to get out of all this, there has to be. Gepard can't let it all be for nothing, it would bury him.
And so the catastrophe passes. Not without casualties, and not without a lot of damage and destruction. But Belobog survives.
And after that, time just kind of…goes on. Gepard has been a part of the Silvermanes since he was old enough to enlist. The Fragmentum had gotten so much worse in the years before Welt sealed the Stellaron. He knows the statistics, it is literally his and Pela's jobs to keep track. He knows when he sees a face everyday in the camps and then it's suddenly gone. He's not unfamiliar with things like grief and loss.
He still catches himself checking the trashcans and the supply crates and soldiers' footprints sometimes, though.
But there comes a night where Gepard goes to bed, holding the mismatched blankets to his face, and he dreams. And it's strange, it's off, it sticks with him. Sampo doesn't look the same. He's thinner. His muscles have atrophied. He looks like how Gepard has seen soldiers after months in the hospital.
The most unsettling difference is there's a scar across the left side of his head, Gepard can see it over his ear, peeking out past his hairline, carving towards his cheek. Sampo is always careful about his face. Gepard once saw him dodge a Fragmentum monster and literally let it cut across his neck just to keep his face clear. He wouldn't let that happen for nothing.
Their actions in the dream itself aren't new. Sampo seems tired, run down and worn out, but he announces his presence with aplomb by lobbing a bunch of smoke bombs off the rooftops and sending his soldiers scrambling. Same shit, different day.
The new part is what he says when Gepard chases him out to the edges of the camp, tackles him into the snow. Gepard pins him to the frozen ground to detain him and Sampo doesn't even fight it, just looks up at him like he's seeing sunrise for the first time in months.
"I'll be home in one week."
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MARVEL Headcannon #6:
Everyone knows how Steve (and probably Bucky, let's be real) are technologically inept, right? Well, you know who else would also be technologically inept? Thor and Loki, but not for the reasons you think.
See Steve (and Bucky, but maybe he has some tech training as the WS, I can't see HYDRA not teaching him how to hack, so really just trivial things such as using social media might confuse him) has the problem of literally jumping forward in time. Thor and Loki would have the exact opposite problem.
Asgard is like this super advanced place that has literal magic and stuff. It's more than safe to assume that despite keeping older aesthetic, they are a highly advanced civilization that is a perfect blend of traditional and innovative technology. The technology of the 21st century here on earth would probably be something that predates them on Asgard, like how telegrams predate everyone currently alive.
So, while Steve is coming forward in time, Thor and Loki are going back in time technology-wise. And that's why they struggle. It would be like if teens today tried to figure out how to use a telegram (or a phone booth/rotary phone) when they are so used to touchscreen.
Loki is a very adaptable person and is the literal God of Fake-It-Till-You-Make-It, and Bucky has been trained (conditioned) to observe and learn (hence the staring problem) so those two are better at hiding their confusion with technology, but Steve and Thor? Yeah, those two visibly struggle.
The four of them have a "support group" of sorts, where they're just trying to figure tech out. Honorable group members include Carol Danvers and Peter Quill, who are alien tech whizzes, and yet are still stuck using 80's tech Earth-wise.
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