#still retains a weird amount of affection for his mother even after realizing that her approval is unattainable

[asmo-cosmetics]

sorry i'm just thinking about how hilarious it is that the arcana, a game that is meant to be set in a universe free of transphobia, somehow accidentally created a character with all the hallmarks of a trans guy with eldest daughter syndrome (lucio morgasson)

[geek-gem]

Rampage 2 Monster Ideas Or Possibilities

Because this is something well I wanted to make a joke at first of how Davis would react in the situation I’ve thought of for a sequel to Rampage 2018. But over time I started to think more. Basically more details, and changes to my ideas. Spoilers from the 2018 film just in case.

Including I wanted to make this list of ideal monsters. Because the video games have a huge roster that a franchise can use for the games. Along with I wanted to write my own twist on them. Considering the direction the movie took with George, Ralph, and Lizzie. If your a fan of the games you might like these ideas. But give me your thoughts on these. Especially I intend to some how Ralph and Lizzie back. Because along with George are the main trio of the franchise.

This isn’t all for one movie. But again I’m just giving out ideas. In fact I decided to study and look into stuff. Mostly about wolves because I’ve thought more in depth about Ralph 2.0. Including looked up some stuff on Crocodiles, but mostly looked up stuff about wolves. Along with I looked on the Rampage wiki on some characters. Again give me your thoughts, this is all fan fiction. Especially it seems weird with the Ralph one.

1. Ralph or humorously called Ralph 2.0 by Harvey Russell. A 7 month old Grey Wolf taken in by the Wolf Watch UK. Named Ralph by a woman who works there after she found him as a pup laying next to his dead mother who was killed by poachers. Ever since then, even being a wild animal he’s looked towards the woman as sort of mother after his died.  

Actually considered a, “Sweetheart” despite his protective nature of the woman. Especially is rather good at protecting itself when aggressive or threatened. After being affected by the same pathogen some how that affected the other animals. Growing in size, and gaining certain abilities. But compared to the original Ralph in 2018, Ralph 2.0 while aggressive, seems to be less violent than the original. Mostly because of being taken care of by humans, and his relationship with the woman who rescued him. Especially he still retains his memories.

But growing in size and other symptoms have caused him to become scared, confused, and angry. Only listening to the woman who saved him, and eventually Davis as well. He’s in a weird way a giant dog. Yet he will become violent and attack who hurts the woman who nurtured him growing up.

Is able to fly like the original Ralph, and use the needles it grew on it’s back. 

Notes: Originally I wanted this new character this woman to be played by Karen Gillian, but decided Emilia Clarke. Especially I want a joke where Harvey calls her the, “Mother Of Wolves”. Including Ralph 2.0 has a relationship to this woman similar to Davis and George. But with the woman even calling Ralph that he’s kind of like her son. Along with this Ralph is supposedly the youngest of the trio. 

2. Lizzie or humorously called Lizzie 2.0 by Harvey Russell as well. Including actually named Lizzie by Davis. A 5 year old American Crocodile that resides in the San Diego Wild Life Sanctuary, that Davis saved as well. While she doesn’t mind Davis at all. She would rather be left alone. While the American Crocodile may not be as aggressive as other species, Lizzie can be aggressive if agitated.

Affected by the pathogen that made it’s way to the sanctuary, she gained similar abilities like the original Lizzie. She’s the biggest of the three, able to breathe underwater, and has the tusks and more teeth. Especially in a similar situation as Ralph 2.0, confused, and some what scared, but angry as well.

Yet still even growing bigger, she still retained that loner behavior. Even though she’ll follow Davis because he’s the only one she can trust. Later during the film while still aggressive, realizes that her help is needed offers to help the other two against a bigger threat. Especially it’s to protect Davis from harm or any monsters threating to hurt him. Including can get very violent as well.

Notes: There’s this theme for the movie while it sounds ridiculous. Considering the situations with Ralph 2.0 and Lizzie 2.0, especially Ralph 2.0. Davis tries to convince George even if they are different species, and they may not get along. But Davis tells him that Ralph and Lizzie are not like the other two he faced. Along with the fact they are in the same situation they were in 2018. With Davis asking George to see them as like a younger brother and sister or friends, that they are part of his troop, his family, to protect them like they were one of his own. Over the film George understands and risks his life for the other two. Following this, the other two especially Ralph do the same.

Including have a cute scene of George petting Ralph 2.0 or something.

3: V.E.R.N. considered an abomination. A monster that absorbs radiation. Originally a uncomplete monster that was mixed with bat DNA and other animals before Claire was killed by George. But it was mainly top secret and but kept close to the Rampage project. Yet it was stolen by some sort of company who’s name when shortened was titled SCUM. They tried to complete it. But realized there was a reason it was never completed. It was too out of control, It couldn’t be controlled. Especially what’s more shocking and twisted.

The surprise came from the fact during the process of discovering what was in the blood of the abomination. Some how Claire Wyden’s blood was in it. The reveal was possibly one of the parts of DNA was human blood, which was Claire herself. As if VERN could of been a clone. But later revealed Claire wanted to make the ultimate weapon she could sell. But the results were too unstable. Which was possibly the reason why Claire didn’t bother continuing with it. Because it would of proved disastrous, worse than what happened with Project Rampage. While Claire was pleased with how that project went. Vern was something else. 

Including the name V.E.R.N. meant “Violently Enraged Radioactive Nemesis”.

A angry and diabolical monster, a creature that’s very feral and seems to enjoy what it’s doing. It’s as VERN if she was a clone of Claire, this would of been her after she had been killed. Angry after everything that happened. Especially Vern actually being intelligent and understanding what humans can say. That human blood was used to make it more smarter, a terrible choice indeed. Learning of the original Claire’s death, realizing they were almost the same.

Vern is the embodiment of animalistic evil. If Claire was even more unleashed in her wrong doing, proud of her work, and willing to kill anyone to get in her way. It was almost like the original Claire came back from the dead but more worse, as a giant monster. Including with her size and power, she’s a challenge for any monster.

Notes: I kind of went too far with Vern. Because Vern didn’t have more personal info. Especially last year I thought of this idea of I would of liked it if Claire had become this Bat like creature like Vern. As if this final boss so she get her ass kicked by George. Honestly Claire’s fate was well deserved. Including I understand why they didn’t take the human turning into the monster direction.

But yeah I took the route that Vern is some how Claire 2.0. But as some sort of monstrous clone mixed with a lot of animal DNA. Including as a callback Vern is female in Total Destruction. I know Claire isn’t a very good villain, or whatever she was an asshole. I guess I wanted to make a more in depth monster.

I wanted to make the, “King Ghidorah” and I thought now, “Black Hat(From Villainous)” of Rampage. Even though Vern didn’t have like this huge role in the games. But I decided to add more depth to the character. You can be critical of me if you want.

4. Myukus, a one eyed alien monster. For many years has been kept at Area 51 for many decades ever since the 1950′s. Been kept asleep and experimented on. Now with his alien superiors returning to invade the Earth. He is released by them. Angered by the American government capturing him, and keeping his on Earth for many decades. He decides to take vengeance on Earth, by destroying everything he possibly can, while aiding the aliens who freed him.

Originally a monster created by the aliens to take over the Earth. But crashing down towards the Earth weakened him and put him into a coma. Including the American government made sure he couldn’t wake up. Which fueled Myukus with rage even more. Now free, he can do what he was made for again, now with his people.

Notes: I still feel I wanna do the aliens storyline first but I liked what I did with Vern. No wait Vern came first but you can do a trilogy with so many monsters and other shit man.

5: Cal, a giant squid, born in the Florida Keys in what was considered the safest reef in the world. Transformed by massive amounts of the pathogen on the Athena-1. At first he was a small squid now, but now he’s a massive and angry squid, able to take down boats, eat people, and doing much more damage. Literally a horror underwater come to life. 

Including to make it worse, he is able to breathe air for an hour. But still needing to breathe underwater. Making him a threat not to be messed with.

Notes: Yes I’m keeping the end with the squid canon because that was amazing.

6: Larry, a large rat. Including funny enough, the same rat Harvey got from Brett Wyden. Some how the rat got into contact with the pathogen, making it grow larger and more aggressive. Especially with more time, larger than the rat on the Athena-1.

But what’s rather strange about Larry, he has a huge fondness for Harvey. Honestly a good thing. After getting the rat back from the solider later. He took care of the rat as his own. Especially Larry is mainly a annoyance rather than dangerous. 

Yet he can still fight as he’s gotten bigger near George’s size.

Notes: It’s not Curtis but found out from Brad Peyton if there was a sequel, he’ll use that name. So I decided to do just that. :)

7: Ruby, a giant lobster, it’s strangely funny in a way. How does something like a lobster that’s very small, get so big? In a similar situation to Cal, tons of the pathogen got in the water, and she got a huge dose of it. Able to snap metal with her claws, and also pretty strong for a creature like her.

She’s a big nasty bugger that gets pissed real easily if angered. 

Notes: I weirdly wanna see a giant mutated lobster, it be amazing looking to me personally.

8: Boris, a giant rhino, originally a Africian Rhinoceros, again affected by the pathogen. Becoming very large and hostile. Yet after being captured by the government and Davis trying to help. He’s gotten less aggressive over time. But still he’ll get pissed if someone attacks him, and he’ll use his giant body and horns to kill any human or monster. Basically a giant batting ram.

Notes: Not much on Boris, I’ll have him more chill when shit is doesn’t need to be done.

I wrote a lot I apologize, but for anyone interested in ideas for a sequels. We can talk and I hope you enjoy reading this. Again and I’m sorry that I keep repeating this, I want a sequel to Rampage 2018, whatever direction they go with, I’ll probably be happy. But again these are ideas because they have a lot of material mainly monsters they can use. Along with the fact the Rampage games aren’t very lore based so they can do what they want or whatever. Just hope it’s an enjoyable movie like the first one too. 

[anon-luv]

I’ll Never Be Her (JiminXReader) Pt.2

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Genre: Angst/ Romance

Summary: You loved him with all your heart, but he could only give you half of his.

Jimin was the love of your life, your night in shining armor when she wasn’t around.

She was his ex girlfriend,  his first love, actually she was his many firsts and she kept coming back.

He had warned you she was his weakness, but you didn’t listen, because to you having him even if it was only partially was better than not having him at all.

At least for now.

Rated M: Sexual Scenes and Languages that might not be appropriate for all ages.

Word Count: 10.8K+

Author’s Note: SORRY I TOOK SO LONG!!! I have been working a lot, and to be honest I did not expect this chapter to come out so long.  I hope you guys enjoy the second part as much as you did the first. I hope it meets expectations. I am so thankful for all your beautiful messages and feedback. Keep sending them my way!! Only one more part to this fic!! Let me know what you think lovelys.

Also to  be honest when you all message me or like the story and stuff it encourages me to write lol. I LOVE ANONS hahaha

Minor Grammar mistakes possible(I am half asleep sorry !!) . I will edit more if needed.

I am so nervous to post this haha. LEAVE SOME LOVE!

PART1

Heartbreak.

You had heard rumors about the unmistakable pain that comes from that forsaken condition. The boundaries between the mental and physical pain blurred as your body weakens from the instability of emotions.

It had been a week. Just seven days, yet your whole being was already giving up on you. Your soul’s withdrawal from Jimin cursing you into a hellhole.

The nausea came in waves as you laid upon the bed you had barely had the energy to come out from. The dizziness that magnified everytime you closed your eyes, creating a similar effect as if you were stuck in the middle of the ocean on a wooden raft as a hurricane blew with category 5 winds.

Drunk you were not, actually, the mere thought of the bitter taste of it sent you right back to the toilet you had been practically glued on for the past four days.

“You need to eat something,” Jin said as he placed a bowl next to your temporary bed, “I brought you some chicken broth and saltine crackers”

“Thank you, but I think I should just go back to sleep” you replied weakly as you attempted to shoo him away with your hand.

“Stop being so bloody stubborn.” he replied ripping away the blankets now sending your body into a shock from the coldness in the room, “You need to eat. Going to work and coming home to head straight to bed is not healthy. I am worried. Please.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Fine”

The warmth of the bowl felt amazing against your skin, you took a spoonful and smiled his way “Thank you Jin”

He smiled sadly at you, “You are welcome. I really do think you need to talk to Jimin though, he is hurting too (y/n). I went to go see him yesterday, he is not doing too well”

“Well neither am I, but I couldn’t stand by and watch any longer,” you said as tears once again spilled over your now hollowed cheeks.

“(y/n), stop stop, I am done talking. I don’t want to see you hurting. You were smiling a second ago, if I didn’t know any better I would assume you were pregnant” he said trying to make a small joke out of the situation.

Your eyes widened. Pregnant. The color drained from your face as a bit of bile rose up again from your throat. You swallowed. Jin’s clueless expression changed to one of equal horror as it clicked that just might be the reason you have been so sick lately as he saw your quick change in demeanor.

You set down the bowl and placed it beside you as you reached out for your cell phone.

38 unread messages and 27 missed calls. All from Jimin. He had been trying to reach you nonstop, but at this moment that did not matter. For the first time since you left you didn’t stop and linger on whether to respond back to his messages or not.

The calendar app was of more importance. You scrolled over through the dates, your last menstrual cycle was 2 months ago….all the commotion in your life leaving you no time to worry about mother nature and her monthly visits.

Jin peaked over your shoulder, “You know google says stress can sometimes mess around with your ...you know….thing”

You smiled weakly at him...stress….”Yes, it might just be stressed. I probably just need more sleep”

The room was silent after that, Jin had excused himself, quite uncomfortably, leaving you behind to your own thoughts to go get groceries. You laid down once again not trying to overthink the situation at hand, maybe you were just a bit late.

  Flashback 2 years and 4 months ago

 “It is on the house,” the broad-shouldered man said winking your way.

 “Oh, Thank you,” you said shyly, you were not used to getting attention from the opposite sex, especially this early. The sun hadn't even peaked out of the horizon and you were already making your way towards class. Morning lectures were not your favorite, but your procrastination had landed you in the only vacant spot in the last subject you needed to graduate, and much to your luck it was at 7:00 am.

 “Call me Jin my name is Seokjin, but don't thank me, pretty girl. That fellow over there with the weird orange hair is the one you should thank” he said as he leveled himself with you and pointed towards a two-seater table where a lone boy had his head completely buried in a book. Said boy didn’t look affected by your presence at all, actually he seemed rather absorbed in the pages he flipped through every couple seconds.

Jin was quite tall and upon closer inspection very handsome making you a stuttering mess, “ Yeah...yeah I’ll say thanks, I guess…” you said not wanting to be rude.

Jin winked at you as you made your way over to the orange hair man, and subconsciously formulating a conversation that would be short and to the point, that would include a good enough side comment sounding grateful for his act of kindness with an attached rejection if he had any ulterior motives. As you approached you noted he looked quite disheveled and in his hand was a neon yellow highlighter.

He looked like he was studying, but upon closer inspection, you realized his book looked more like a coloring book if anything with the amount of bright yellow markings and underlined text.

“You do know the purpose of that thing in your hand is to highlight only the imperative parts right??” You said making the man jump a bit in his seat  Your deep morning voice making it sound more like a rude statement rather than the playful teasing one you were aiming for.

“Excuse me??” He said looking up at you a bit caught off guard by your sudden presence.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so…..ugly and stuff….but like my voice in the morning does this thing where it sounds like an old man going through puberty all over again….and I meant it just in a teasing kinda way. My name is (y/n) by the way... I am sorry I tend to blabber, stutter, and make a complete idiot out of myself when I get nervous" you said as you dried your sweaty hand on your pants and then put it out there for him to shake.

He looked up with an amused glint in his eye, and then a smile made his way to his features completely dazzling you, "Jimin, nice to meet you, and don't worry about it. To be honest, that is quite cute. Why don't you take a seat??"

You looked at the empty seat in front of Jimin, debating whether seating down for a few minutes would be a good idea. You still had an hour to class, and Jimin's eye smile looked more inviting than chocolate cake, "Okay, I guess only for a little. Thank you....for the coffee and stuff"

"The coffee??" he asked looking clearly confused.

"Yeah, your friend over there said to thank you...wait....you didn't …” you said your eyes now wide with embarrassment as your cheeks tinted pink.

Jimin shook his head looking quite flustered himself, “I did not, but I mean…. I wish I could’ve??” he stated more like a question than a statement.

You both turned around to look at Jin who had been cleaning the same table for over 5 minutes now.

“I am sorry. He was probably just trying..He thinks I should you know….He likes to call himself Cupid”, Jimin said as he nervously scratched the back of his head.

You laughed out loud at the shyness of the boy, it was not his fault yet here he was turning redder than a tomato in front of you, “Don’t be shy, I am a gullible person it can happen to the best of us, and look at this we made ourselves a new friend right??”

Jimin nodded sending your way another one of his breathtaking smiles, ‘Are you always this positive??”

You shook your head rapidly, “Nope, especially this early in the morning, but today feels like a good day”

“Yep, it would be even better if I could actually retain any of this,” he said looking a bit frustrated at the notes in front of him.

You eyes his paper once again, and smiled brightly at him taking out your spiral notebook, “I told you it feels like a good day. Here you go, the notes are there, highlighted in different colors by categories”

“You are taking Advanced Literature too??” he asked as he excitedly skimmed through your notes.

“Yes, I am in the 4pm lecture,” you said smiling at the enthusiastic boy in front of you.

“Me too!! I haven’t seen you there, but then again there is like 200 students in the lecture hall at the same time. I feel awful for procrastinating on my studying for the test today” he said now looking completely devastated.

Seeing him slightly pout making your heart tug a bit, “How about I stay with you here and help you study?? I need the review anyway”

“Are you sure?? I don’t want to impose” he replied as he took a sip of the coffee and the cringing a bit making him look a hundred times cuter.

You took a moment to observe the man in front of you and before your mind could speak your heart did, “I am sure, plus whether it was indirectly or not you did hook it up with free coffee”

This had been the first time you ditched a class willingly, and you waited for the guilt to kick in making you overthink all the important notes you could’ve taken, but as you sat with Jimin giggling at his cute jokes, and talking about anything but the course material you realised it had been worth it.

“So, we should probably start heading out,” you said looking at your watch which indicated that it was almost 3:15 and you both had 30 minutes to get to class.

“Yeah, we should. Let me pay first” he replied running to the counter where Jin still eyed the both of you with a glint in his eye.

Jimin paced fast back to start picking up his scattered notes when you noticed Jin looking quite annoyed behind him.

You were about to question if everything was all right, but he beat you to the punch.

“Okay now, Adults you have been together for hours, and I have been patiently waiting for a phone number exchange if anything. So far all I have seen are awkward blushes, and lame ass flirty jokes, so can you all just you know write each other's number down so I can have peace.

Jimin’s face paled at the forwardness of his friend, you, on the contrary, felt quite bad for the position the boy had been put in.

“Just to let you know, we were about to leave together for class, and then I was going to ask him if he wanted to have dinner with me, thank you very much. I do not need a relationship guru for your information” you said sounding more confident than you were.

“Woah Jimin, this girl has balls and bites. I like her….Keep her” Jin said walking away leaving the both of you dumbfounded.

Jimin reacted quicker than you this time to put all the stuff inside his bag. You both walked quietly out of the cafe, but as soon as the door closed Jimin’s cheeky smile bloomed in your direction, “So, Dinner??”

 To say you overslept would be an understatement. The swelling along with the comforter’s red marks across your face was a clear giveaway.

You had tossed and turned for 30 minutes after Jin left, but dreamland was no longer accepting your admission.You rubbed your eyes roughly trying to ease the frustration of having to face the day with the constant thoughts in your brain running at about a thousand miles per hour. Why were you never good enough??

The reflection in the mirror had never been your best friend, you can’t count the hours you had spent from a very young age picking out flaws and finding a way to camouflage them. Most of the time your laziness won over your vanity, and that was one thing Jimin said he loved about you.

At closer inspection, you noted how much thinner your cheeks looked from a while back, along with the dark circles that framed your eyes, that despite your endless amount of sleep were more prominent than ever.

The hair that fell down in an unarranged manner from your head in a less than perfect way had always been your early morning biggest fight. Threading your fingers along the chaos to at least make yourself look more decent had proven to be a complete failure. Maybe, if your hair magically fell upon your shoulders like a yellow waterfall like Stephany things would have been different. Your self-image was poor, and you had never been one to accept a compliment gracefully from Jimin. Your put downs had become a self-defense mechanism, something Jimin always frowned upon, always answering back with a compliment that would blow you to the moon.

Attention seeker, that is what Jin had addressed your condition, but Jimin always knew better. He had seen you at your lowest when the tears fell down your face with frustration when your pants wouldn’t close and you had spent 4 hours non stop at the gym. Jimin had accepted you, and tried holding your hand through every episode of your lack of confidence.

Jimin had made you feel loved and cared for, but you had become selfish. The praise words that he whispered in your ears through the night as you both made love were screamed out loud for the world to hear about Stephany. He was not shy about the admiration for her, whereas with you he was more reserved. She was a goddess in his eyes. You could see it every time she talked and his tunnel vision focused on only her. Everything she did was compared to whatever lame attempt you could. One-upping her was out of the question for at the very moment your eyes landed on her you knew there was no competition. She had won a long time ago hands down.

What hurt the most was the fact that you didn’t have the courage to put up a  fight. Just like with everything else about JImin you had accepted her with arms wide open. She was a part of him whether you liked it or not.

Your hand traveled along your body to your bloated stomach. You had noticed a bit of cramping, but you never really paid much attention to it. You had been only craving crispy tacos with extra cheese this past week and had relentlessly blamed your fat ass for the now protruding muffin top. You caressed the top of it softly wondering if there was a little bean there like Jin had suggested. Just thinking of a mini Jimin running around calling you mom brought a smile to your face. Then reality hits and you are left feeling more alone than ever. Jimin and you were no longer. You had walked away. Had that been the right thing to do?? Yes. It had been. Even if it was the most painful thing you have had to endure in life you knew that you did not deserve being runner-up, you wanted to be someone’s one and only.

A knock on the door snapped you back to the present.

“(Y/N), I brought you something….. Are you okay in there??” Jin said from behind the door sounding concerned.

“I am all right, just give me a sec,” you said pulling down the shirt that had ridden up with the buddha rubbing you had been doing previously.

You cracked the door open for Jin to walk in.

“Did you vomit again??” he asked as he inspected his surroundings.

“Nope, just slight tummy discomfort, but so far the soup has been staying down” you replied as you gave him a thankful smile.

You had not paid close attention when he had come into the restroom, but now the plastic bag in his hand had been put up in the counter along with a jug of orange juice.

Jin’s face had turned crimson as you could see his eyes traveling from the objects to you looking a bit troubled.

“Spit it out Jinjin” you said eyeing his unusual flustered self.

“I saw this in that Juno Movie, and well...yeah,” he said as he started backing away out the door leaving you alone with the unknown items. With peaked interest, you looked inside the bag finding over 12 pregnancy tests from various brands.

“Wonderful” you whispered to yourself, “it isn't going to kill me to at least take one to have a peace of mind”

You chugged half a gallon of orange juice before your bladder had decided to cooperate with the task at hand. You pulled down your pants quickly, the sudden urge to pee becoming overwhelming. You quickly grabbed the two prepped sticks and peed on one and then quickly grabbed the other, and much to your surprise you were able to get both without getting any urine on your hand.

“Score!” You scram a bit louder than anticipated as you placed both sticks on the countertop.

Before you knew it, Jin’s head was popping in through the door looking quite panicked.

“What happened?!!” He said not really grasping the concept of privacy in the bathroom.

“Seokjin OUT!!” you scram causing him to realize his mistake.

He hurriedly closed the door as he repeatedly said “sorry” from the other side.

You giggled at his goofiness and once you were wiped clean and with your pants up, you let him in.

He paced in circles while you sat on the toilet seat tapping your foot anxiously as the minutes ticked by. For once in your two-year long friendship, you were both quiet. The phone timer beeped letting you know it was time. Jin held your hand as support as you nervously picked up one of the tests.

Jin’s arms were around you instantly “You are strong, independent, and full of life. Whether he saw it or not is not what matters, what truly matters is if you can see it. I will be there for you no matter what you choose. He is my best friend, but I know what an idiot he can be.” Tears fell from your eyes and Jin was quick to wipe them away, “It is a blessing and a curse to feel stuff so deeply. Chin up Girl, I got your back.”

 The clinic was way too cold for the short thin robe they had given you. The smell of disinfectant burned your nostrils, making the place feel even more intimidating. Other than the white monotonous walls, there were images plastered all over the walls showing the female reproductive system in different angles making you sick to your stomach. A diagram showing the various stages of birthing in a 3d model making you tremble with utter fear from the upcoming physical pain and changes your body would have to endure, and sadly you would have to go through it all on your own.

The door opened and a tall tan man came in looking quite handsome making you quickly scramble up from the previous open legged position the doctor’s assistant had placed you in. Your face quickly turning a dark shade of red.

The doctor smiled trying to make you feel a bit more comfortable with the current situation, but his rectangular grin only making you more self-aware about the exams that were to come.

“Hello Ms. Y/N, we need to run a few tests this evening to make sure everything is going well. My name is Dr. Kim. Can you please lay down for me and make yourself comfortable, we will be doing a sonogram to figure out how far along you are today”

You only nodded, not really sure how to respond with words.

“Would you like for me to call your partner in for the sono??” he asked innocently. You assumed the nurse had told him you had been accompanied by a man.

“No, it’s okay that’s my friend Jin, the father is not…..in the picture,” you said trying to sound unaffected yet you could still hear the sorrow in your voice as you said those words.

Dr.Kim looked apologetic, “I am sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Don’t worry about it, There was no way you could’ve known. I mean I didn’t see it coming and I was with the guy for two years” you said catching the doctor a bit off guard, “Sorry sorry, too much info”

Dr.Kim just threw another of his rectangular smiles your way, “ My turn to say Don’t worry about it, or him from what I have concluded in that one sentence. How about we get on with it. This gel might be a little cold ok?”

  Flashback

 You had been in a few dates with Jimin, and to be quite honest you had not expected yourself to be so drawn to such a character. He was clumsy, a bit disorganized, and he liked to be in control of the situations around him. He swept you off your feet so easily that once you had let him into your world he had conquered every corner with his eyesmile.

“So tell me again, what was your legit very first relationship?? You have this whole player vibe going on” you said drawing your words a little as the consumed wine started overpowering the blood in your veins, making the world around you a bit hazy.

“Me player?? Are you sure you are not talking about Jin?? To be quite honest, the only serious relationship I have had is when I dated my best childhood friend back in high school for like what seemed like forever...we keep in touch and stuff but she has her own family now” he said with eyes half-lidded obviously already affected from the alcohol as well “Her husband can be quite an asshole at times, but I can tell he loves her….I mean who wouldn’t love her”

“Sounds like you might still be whipped,” you said as you pretended to have a whip in your hand.

“Nahh not whipped, but she still gets to me at times you know…..” he said taking a large gulp of his wine glass leaving it empty.

He picked up the almost empty bottle and refilled his glass along with yours.

You stayed quiet inspecting his facial features. Jimin was very handsome with very pronounced cheekbones and chocolate eyes you could melt right into.You wanted to bite his neck and mark him as yours, but the fear of moving too fast and scaring him away kept you at bay.

The bluntness from the liquid courage you had allowed yourself to drown in kept making words spill out of your mouth like projectile vomiting, “Well, how many times have you had the privilege of falling in love??”

Jimin gave you a knowing side smirk. He knew you wanted him whether you were intoxicated or not. Drunk Jimin was a lot more carefree, you could tell just by the way he sat down with his legs wide open while his arm casually folded behind his head emphasizing his muscular arms. He raised a teasing eyebrow, “The smart question to ask would be, have you ever fallen out of love?? Falling out of love is harder than falling in love”

You took a sip of the remaining wine in your glass as you attempted to smirk back, “Ok then, Have you ever fallen out of love??”

He shook his head, “Nope” he said over popping his p.

“A smart girl would take that as a warning and back off immediately,” you said as you stood up slowly, His eyes traveled along with your figure as you made your way towards him. His figure looked relax against your black leather couch, and the temptation that had been building up along with your drunk promiscuity giving you the extra push of bravery to sit upon his well-defined thigh. You saw his eyes widen with surprise as you leaned even more forward pressing your ass directly upon his hardening bulge causing a smile of confidence to erupt on your face. You leaned in slowly toward his ear, close enough to surely graze it with every word that came out of your mouth, your hot breath tickling his skin causing goosebumps to arise, “Much to your luck, I am one of the smart ones that likes taking risks”

His eyes met yours, and before you knew it his lips were smashed against yours as his hands made their way to your waist as he gripped onto it for dear life. His nails digging with need and want as your figure rocked back and forth on his thigh hoping to ease the burning ache in your core.

His mouth left yours trailing open mouth kisses towards your hairline that bordered your ear, his hot breath now fanning the sensitive skin on your neck “Well aren’t I one lucky son of a bitch”

  A repeating static thump snapped you back to reality as your eyes glued themselves to the monitor that currently displayed what appeared to be circles and squiggles. Your eyebrows furrowed confused at the image, completely frightened that something might be wrong. Dr. Kim wiggled the wand he had placed in your stomach a little more and then the image switched into two unequal looking circles along with what looked like a jellybean. The thumping grew faster along with something that sounded like an echo.

A smile appeared automatically upon your face, “Is that my baby??”

Dr. Kim rectangular grin appeared lighting up the whole room with his cheerfulness, “Actually, those are your babies.”

  The dim light of the last rays of sun lit the way back to the place your feet had unconsciously dragged you several times before, but this time it was different. You knew where you were going. You knew you wanted to go back to him. After you had gotten a copy of your twins’ sonograms you had run out of the clinic without thinking about any repercussions. You needed him, now more than ever. A naive and hopeful part of you hoping that the growing miracles in your belly would light up a purpose in his heart to move on from what had been and run forward to embrace you and his future little family. You could already picture babies with his eyes and smile, they were going to be beautiful.  The chill in the air was dropping as the dew from the evening now pricked upon the skin on your face. The big hoodie that had once been his engulfing your frame, his scent still lingering strongly on the fabric warming you up in more ways than one way.

Your brain was still debating with your heart whether this was the right thing to do or not, but as your hand grazed the film paper on the pocket of the baggy hoodie your heart gained points only causing your feet to go on forward faster. The urge to jump into his arms and kiss his soft plump pink lips the reward you were looking forward to at the end of this journey.

Your goal was at arm’s reach. The park you had visited on several occasions during your evening walks and Nataly’s countless of visits was now in plain view. The grass looked greener than last time you had walked along this path.

The sound of a familiar giggle stopped you right on your tracks, the tree that had served as a shadow during the sizzling summer days serving now as a camouflage in order to scratch the itch of curiosity. The hoodie now covering your hair as you positioned your body to fit properly behind the tree so you wouldn’t be spotted.

Your eyes sought the source of the laugh that had triggered the uneasiness that was now clouding your previous judgment.

“You are it JIMIN!” you heard a high-pitched voice scream freezing you in place. Your heart shattering once again as you saw Jimin’s figure run around to the front of the slide as Stephany with Nataly in her lap made her way down the yellow trail only to be tackled by a careful soft hug from the man you had previously been running to. Your brain was now trying to take over your actions imploring you to go back to Jin’s and forget this stupid decision, but your masochistic stubborn heart prohibiting you to walk away. Jimin’s grin was bright, the happiness that radiated off of him as he twirled the little girl in circles as she giggled cutely. He was happy. That is all that should matter right?? He had moved on. You had been resenting him for not letting go of Stephany yet here you were holding on to him with a death grip. Missing him to you came like waves, and most of the days you felt like you were drowning. Some egotistical part of you was hoping to walk into a scene like the one Jin had painted of him suffering as if he was in the deepest level of hell without you.

That was not the case.

He was happy.

He was happy without you.

You were going to have to learn how to be happy without him as well.

You needed to be happy if not for you for the 4 little feet that will follow your footsteps in this life.

It was time to let Jimin go.

Once more you turned your back on the man you loved, but this time you had company. Rubbing your slightly swollen belly you took the first step towards your future without Jimin in it.

  Preggo pops were the best invention created by man, whoever said electricity or the internet had obviously never been pregnant. You had declared yourself an addict after Jin had given up on his so-called “home remedies” and caved in on buying some in the pharmacy on the way home. The days had seemed to fly by as you were consumed between work, finding a new apartment, and reading parenthood books Jin had been bringing home.

Jimin kept calling. Every day you’d wake up you would seek your phone to find missed calls and texts. There was an unknown fear within you that one day you would wake up to nothing. As much as you wanted to walk away from what had been Park Jimin you hated the idea of him moving on. The small part of him that you had claimed as yours was something you were not quite ready to give up. Those mornings you had spent in bed under the blankets kissing his face all over until you were blessed by his brown irises was one of many memories you visited at times where loneliness sneaked up on you. It had been one month, and even though the addiction of having him next to you was way long from over, you had found ways to deviate the cravings from his voice….his kisses….his hugs.

“Yellow’ Jin said as he begged once again for you to accompany him to the baby store, you hadn’t even found out the sex of the babies yet he had already gone to more than one shopping spree for nursery items, “We can get yellow neutral clothes please (y/n)” he said giving you puppy eyes with a lovely pout as an add-on.

“Fine, but as soon as I see you buy something overly glittery I am walking out of the store” you replied as you grabbed your bag. Your already small protruding belly forming a cute small bump. You were 16 weeks today. It was 4 weeks ago that you had been told you were pregnant and Jin had scolded you relentlessly due to your lack of self-awareness for going so far along with the pregnancy and not knowing about it. Prenatal vitamins and birthing books were dumped in your bed the night you had found out, a complimentary gift from your temporary roommate. He had been trying to hold conversations with your belly as well stating that his nephews/nieces need to be accustomed to his voice before birth so it can facilitate the situation if he ever were to babysit on his own.

“Also, your birthing classes start tomorrow at 8am, I know you hate mornings, but they were the cheapest ones I could find” he said practically dragging you into the store that had a giant pacifier as a logo, “We have 30 minutes to shop before we have to take off to your appointment. I am so excited to find out whether you are having dudes or dudettes”

“Jin they might not even be able to tell me the sex yet, it all depends on the positioning of the baby,” you said as you browsed through the ducky onesies on the sales rack.

“I am pretty sure they will not be shy about it and just flash the sonogram camera thing whether they have a peepee or not. I mean their father is Park Jimin, and that man barely freaking puts on a shirt and let me not get started on those tight motherfucking pants…...they leave nothing to the imagination.”

The mention of Jimin’s name forming a sour taste in your mouth, the sudden urge to ball your eyes smacking you like a freight train. Jin’s face distorted as he realized his mistake.

“No no no no no, sorry (y/n) please don’t cry….I will buy you ice cream after the appointment,” he replied trying to bribe you.

The cravings for sweet cheesecake with strawberries ice cream shooing away your urge to cry, “Fine but I get two scoops”

Jin just nodded as he put a comforting arm around your frame urging you towards the next aisle, both of you completely clueless of the set of brown eyes that have followed you both along since you entered the store.

 The fantasy that had been engraved in your head from a very young age of the future was modeled after a Disney movie. The house, job, family, and happy ending with everything and prince charming in real life was a mere figment of what society liked to claim as the norm. You tried to convince yourself over and over again that you could do this on your own, but in the mornings where your stomach decided to act up and take you straight to the toilet, you wished Jimin was right beside you holding your hair back as he would rub your back tenderly to soothe your burning esophagus. The one-sided pep talks you gave yourself had become a daily routine, and as your stomach grew the monotony of it had you desperately clinging onto your pillow screaming out your frustrations hoping Jin wouldn't be a witness of the mess that was you.

Your palms were sweaty with anticipation as you waited for Dr.Kim to come in. Jin had decided to stay outside claiming he was not very fond of medical offices. The door opened and an already smiling doctor came in, his happiness contagious as your own mouth formed into a grin.

“Are you ready for this??!” He said sounding like a cheerleader full of energy.

You picked up your shirt ready to be doused with the cold gel from the previous time.

He put on his circular glasses, scrunched up his sleeves, and right as the cold gel made contact with your skin the door opened wide.

The smiling doctor’s face contorted to one of annoyance, “What have I said about knocking??” His deep voice said sending a bit of chills down your spine. Your eyes snapped up to the figure that stood frozen in place by the door.

Surprise, happiness and hate alternatively, and complete disbelieve surged through your body. Jimin stood before you, his hair disheveled and shirt untucked, a slight smudge of blood on his collar.

He smiled nervously as he wiped his hands on his jeans, “Hi, I’m Jimin….the father?” Jimin said asking more than stating.

Dr.Kim turned to face you, the questioning in his eyes as clear as day, while on the contrary yours were muddled over between desire, fear, and aberration.

You nodded at Dr.Kim not quite sure if to trust your mouth to form coherent words.

Jimin took that as an invitation to walk in and sit on the empty seat beside you. The shift in the room was obvious to the point where Dr.Kim’s smile was not enough to lighten up the mood anymore.

Your heart was tugging you to acknowledge the man sitting next to you, the one you had been longing for weeks on end, but your brain had taken control as a defense mechanism and ignored your erratic heartbeat. Your eyes were solely focused on the monitor where you were once again going to see your two little nuggets. The wand was firmly pressing against your belly, the image on the screen this time was not in different shades of green, but instead had an orange tinge to it.

“This is called a 3d ultrasound, and this should help determine the biological sex of the babies,” Dr.Kim said as he stirred his hand around your belly. You could see a glimpse of Jimin leaning in closer to you and the monitor, but you still hadn't gathered enough emotional strength to look his way, much less make eye contact.

“Babies??” Jimin asked his eyes now staring at your belly openly.

Dr. Kim rolled his eyes at Jimin causing a small giggle to come out of your lips “Yeah as in plural”

The figures of two skinny babies popped up in the screen catching you by surprise, the image from last time was distorted and quite a challenge to decipher, but in this one, the babies looked less like blobs and more like actual tiny babies. The little arms and legs moved around wildly as if they were busting a move inside your stomach.

Tears formed unconsciously in your eyes, a warm hand fitting into yours, and just for a little bit you were going to let your heart take over. You allowed yourself to interlace your fingers around his softly enough to not make it harder for you when you would have to eventually let go.

Dr.Kim eyed your hands and gave you both a small smile, “ You see these lines here” he said pointing at the screen. Jimin and you nodded, “Baby A lady and gentleman is a girl”

Jimin squealed happily beside you as if the present situation of your relationship did not matter as his lips kissed your knuckles.

“Now baby B is being a bit shy, but…..” Dr.Kim said wiggling the wand looking object again, “ There you go….. Baby B…. Is a Boy”

“We are having a boy and a girl!!!” Jimin said no longer walking on eggshells as he captured your lips in a kiss. You froze not reciprocating, but Jimin didn't care he just rested his forehead against yours. You felt the skin tingle where his touch, but you were unsure of whether it was a positive reaction as flashbacks of him running around happily at the park came to mind. You let go of his hand and quickly faced the doctor trying to assimilate as if the rejected contact was just distancing for a question. Your hand dropped Jimin’s as if was made out of lava which he was quick to notice, unlike the oblivious Dr.Kim.

“But are they healthy??” You asked trying to make your tone sound leveled as if you could properly manage your emotions in the presence of Jimin.

“They both are as healthy as can be. Don't forget to eat properly and take your prenatal. I will see you back in 4 weeks. Twin pregnancies tend to be a bit more high risk than single, so make sure to keep in contact if anything feels out of the ordinary. My assistant up front will have a copy of your sonograms for you guys to take home. I hope you have a good day, and congrats on your baby boy and baby girl!”

Dr.Kim walked towards Jimin and shook his hand “Congrats, you have a beautiful family”

Jimin just smiled his eyes turning a slight shade of pink as he sniffled almost inaudibly, “I know. Thank you”

Dr. Kim just waved one last bye and left out the door leaving you both alone.

The realization of Jimin being here settling in and just like a bomb you started your internal countdown. You needed to get out of there before you exploded. You stood up and wiped your belly clean out of the sticky liquid. Not one word had been said since the doctor had stepped out, and even if you had rehearsed a planned script in case of a similar scenario happening you were at a blank. Your emotions tangling up inside, squeezing out any remaining air out of your lungs, making it hard to breathe. Jimin just stood in silence not really sure of how to proceed, he had definitely acted on impulse and the loving reunion he had imagined was blown over as soon as he entered the room and noticed your cold stare on him. He had fucked up, and even if he didn't quite understand what had triggered you to end things he knew he wanted you back.

You walked out of the room as soon as you had collected all your belongings and double checked you hadn't left anything behind. Jimin followed close, but did not say a word as you scheduled your next appointment, received the sonogram copies, and walked out of the building. Even if nothing was being said you could feel yourself growing more and more irritated with everything he did. Why did he make you feel like this? He had done nothing, yet you felt so small and worthless in his presence. The wound he had left had reopened and you had to muster all of your power to hold back your tears. At the same time though you wanted to run into his arms, kiss his mouth and nibble on his bottom lip, you wanted him sleeping next to you and have his hand rub your growing tummy as you welcomed sleep, but that was a fantasy…. That was a dream…

You walked out of the clinic fuming, ready to full on confront the betrayer known as Jin, only to be met by a bruised-up puppy face replacing his usual smug one.

“What happened to you??” You said as you pulled him out of the car to examine his busted nose and cheek closer. Jin closed his eyes with your soothing touch then quickly backed away looking at Jimin behind you.

“I can explain” you heard Jimin speak out finally.

You turned around to face him even more furious than before, “You better have a goddamn good explanation to why you beat your best friend up”

“I misinterpreted the whole situation. When I saw him with you at the store and then here….. I just thought the worse, but he explained, and we are good now” he said trying to reach out towards you.

You looked at him disbelievingly “We are good now??? Is that how it is??? We are anything but good Jimin. Actually, we have been bad from the start, but I have been blinded by my love for you. Making me a fool. I now have two little someones to be strong for. I am done waiting for you. I have always put you first, but to you, I was always on the sidelines.”

Jimin stepped forward trying to grasp your hand that had unconsciously turned into a firm fist. You backed away instantly.

“(Y/N), please just let me know what I can do to fix this…. fix us,” Jimin said taking a step once again towards you.

“Don't you get it Jimin??? I have given you two whole years to fix it. To fix yourself. I tried to give you all my love. My heart was in your fucking hands and you crushed and stomped on it every time Stephany called and you dropped me to go to her” you said wiping the tears in your face angrily, “ Let me go Jimin. I need you to let me go, so I can stop hurting and move on. I need to stop with the illusion that one day you will choose me over her. That you will love me more.”

Jimin was now in tears as he looked at you falling apart all because of him. You could see the internal struggle as he picked up his hand and dropped it several times, “but I love you more. I do….. I am sorry I didn't show it….but I love you (y/n) more than anything in this world please forgive me…. Please give me a chance….. Come back with me. We can paint the guest room as a nursery or even find a bigger apartment for our little family”

“No” you heard yourself say coldly not really wanting to process his words, for once everything that spilled out of his mouth was not of importance, “I am done Jimin. It takes more than just words and compliments to show someone you love them. You are not a five-year-old who can draw me a heart and make everything better.” You replied turning your back to him. You were about to walk towards Jin’s car when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist. Tears falling against your bare shoulder.

“Please don't leave me again….please don't walk away” Jimin whispered continuously in your ear. Your walls were about to fall apart, you could feel yourself about to crumble. As soon as you felt your knees about to buckle in, from all the emotional stress being thrown at you, another pair of arms straightened you up and lightly pushed Jimin away.

“You are my best friend….you have been for years Jimin, but I need you to back off. You have caused enough damage with your stupid bullshit games. It takes more than a few sweet words to gain forgiveness. You don't have to tell her or scream out you love her, you need to show it. And so far, all you have displayed for her to see is how much of a fucking coward you are letting yourself be dragged along like a fucking puppy. When we first met (y/n) I knew she was special, and I knew she was what you needed to learn what something raw and real felt like…. But I was a fool. You have hurt her, and I am done watching. Jimin be a man, before someone else takes your place” Jin said as he took your small hand in his and walked you to the passenger door of his car helping you in. Jin walked back to where Jimin stood still frozen in place with a trail of tears traveling down his beautiful face. The ache in your heart growing with intensity from the incapability of soothing his pain. You wanted nothing more than to run out of the car and kiss Jimin’s pain away, but it was too late. There was no remedy for the broken heart that was buried within your chest, the antidote was the same poison that had damaged it in the first place, Jimin, and you were not strong enough to go through that again.

You could see Jin telling Jimin something as he patted his shoulder. Jimin's eyes found yours, but you were quick to turn away. Not even a few seconds later Jin came into the car, his bruised nose looking worse than it had been previously, your hands traveled once again to softly caress it, “idiot”

He chuckled, “Be nice or this idiot won't buy you the ice cream he owes you”

“Jin at this point you owe me a whole freaking ice cream shop, so shut up and hurry to the nearest creamery my kiddos are starving,” you said trying to hide the way your words wavered with unshed tears. You could feel Jimin’s gaze still on you, but you refused to give in this time.

  It was 8am, Jin was late and the irritation from the constant invasion of space from your birthing class instructor had you on the verge of yanking your hair out. She had been rubbing your belly so often that you were wondering how a genie had not appeared before you already. The place was crowded with several couples, some whom already had started breathing heavily in a synchronized manner in the mats. You sighed completely flag stabbed at the fact that you were unwillingly taking these cheesy classes only to be stood up by the person who signed you up for them in the first place. You bit your nails nervously as everyone took a seat in their assigned spots. You walked reluctantly to your own hot pink yoga mat and took out your phone angrily.

 Jin, you are so dead-

(y/n) 8:05

 The door of the classroom opened and once again to your surprise Jimin stood there wearing comfy basketball shorts, a white shirt, and a black snapback. To say he looked absolutely stunning when he dressed laid back was an understatement. The muscles from his abdomen could be clearly seen through the translucent white shirt as he made his way towards you.

“Sorry, I am late” he whispered as he sat beside you.

You took out your phone angrily once again.

 SEOKJIN YOU ARE DEAD MEAT X 2

(y/n) 8:07

 You turned to face Jimin now, he could tell you were about to detonate, but before you could cuss him right there and then the instructor started the lesson.

“Welcome Mommies and Daddies to Birthing 101. I hope you all are having a spectacular day. Let’s start from the top like many of you probably did to start this journey” the blond preppy instructor said as she winked an eye suggestively to the class.

Torture. This was going to be absolute torture.

30 minutes in and you already had successfully achieved the art of ignoring Jimin perfectly.

Lie. That was an absolute Lie. You were dying internally, the urge to slap him across the face then ride him till he filled you up with his hot seed was temptation at its best.

You had not gotten laid since Jimin, and from what you have read in several websites and books it is normal to be a horny pregnant woman….something to do with hormones.

Hormones…..it was their fault, not yours. You did not want Jimin. Your hormones did.

“(y/n), How far in between do your contractions have to be, to be classified as active labor?” the instructor asked clearly noticing your lack of attention.

You nervously bit your lip and were about to answer until Jimin took over, “3 minutes apart lasting 1 minute….but that is not what concerns me….what is this about her cervix opening 8-10 centimeters….and tearing down there?? Like is that even…….that is ….. Ow!”

The instructor giggled at Jimin’s reaction the jealous green monster inside of you about to jump out to tell the instructor to get her own fucking jokester, this idiot was yours. The thing though was that Jimin was not yours. Not anymore.

“Yes, that is correct. Fully dilated is 10 cm and sometimes if needed they will cut to allow more space for the baby. Don’t worry too much about it though, she doesn’t look very phased. You have a brave girl Jimin. Now this is the end, for now, see you again same time next week”

You stood up and took off faster than the road runner. Your feet working up a step to get away as fast as possible from Jimin, but much to your already sour luck he caught up with you and grasped your wrist.

“What are you doing??” you asked as you ripped away your wrist from his hand. The spot where his hand had touch craving more than a few seconds of contact.

“(y/n), please listen to me, I really want to make us work okay?? I love you, please give me another chance” he said as he once again dived in for your hand.

“Jimin, it’s not that easy for me. You are incapable of seeing what is wrong, and I am not in the best place right now” you said trying to be civil with the boy. He had just endured the worse lecture in his life, he deserved at least that, “What are you doing here??”

Jimin looked at you confused, “They are my babies too (Y/N), I want to be there for them and you. I keep remembering everything you told me, how I acted, and I am so ashamed of what I made you go through. You did not deserve that, and I am sorry. Please, one more chance. If I can’t make you happy I will personally find a way to kick my own balls. You deserve the world. Let me give it to you” he said as his arms encircled your waist. The heat of his body against yours bringing memories, some that you wanted to treasure and some that you much rather just throw away. He kissed your forehead softly and then the tip of your nose, “Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually. Let me try”

Tired. You were tired of fighting with your heart. The tears that spilled over were a mixture of happy and sad ones. You couldn’t start this new chapter in your life if you kept re-reading the last page. Expectations that came in your relationship with Jimin had always been flexible due to Stephany, and you realized too late that by even attempting to have them you were setting yourself and Jimin up for failure.

“If I had treated you the way you had treated me, you would hate me. Just because I let you go, doesn’t mean I wanted to. One more chance Jimin, but please I ask of you……”

“I love you, and I will make damn sure I show you how much,” he said as he finally lowered his head and attempted to kiss your lips.

Your brain decided to function at that very moment, “No Jimin, wait. Not so fast, I will move back in with you and we will see from there okay??”

Jimin backed away a bit and nodded looking a bit disappointed, “Right now I will take anything I can get”

  To say things were awkward would be an understatement. Jimin had given you the master bedroom claiming you would be a lot more comfortable if you had your own private restroom. It had been two weeks and your relationship with Jimin felt strained. He was a complete gentleman making you breakfast and dinner without you asking. The initiative that had not been there before clearly made an appearance as he brought your favorite flowers or donuts, yet the more he did for you the more frightened you were to let him in. Sometimes at night when you tippy-toed your way to the kitchen, you made sure to check if the coast was clear, you didn’t know if your heart could handle seeing Jimin having a moment with Stephany. Your masochistic ears sometimes seeking the silence for the possibility of a secret conversation between the two of them exchanging an ‘I miss you’

Stephany was MIA. You noticed that the third week you had been back at your apartment. No calls, surprise visits, or mentions of her. The daily text messages that had become a routine activity a while back were no more. You needed a break from anything her, and finally, the heavens were listening.

Today the stress from work had gotten the best of you, a flood of tears accompanied you home. When the front door of your apartment opened to the face of a smiling Jin you jumped right into his arms, completely forgetting that it meant Jimin was in as well.

“Ohh no darling what happened to you??” Jin said as he patted your hair like a mother would to their crying child.

You hiccupped, “Would you believe me if I told you I already forgot what I was crying for in the first place??”

Jin shook his head at you while laughing, “You are even a bigger wreck than you were before, how is that even possible??”

You were about to argue back until you realized you had no clue why Jin was visiting, “What are you even doing here??”

“Thank you for the hospitality, actually I am here because Jimin did an oopsie I need to fix”

You pushed Jin away from the entrance and stomped your way into the living room where a distraught Jimin sat surrounded by light pink clothes. You recognized some as your previously white undergarments. Jimin looked frightened as he saw your presence now skimming through the disaster he had made.

“I am sorry. So sorry, please don't cry. Jin said you would probably cry all day long and I really don't want that. I'll fix them. I'll make them white again” He said trying to scoop all the clothes up causing even a bigger mess.

Before you knew it you were in a full-blown fit of giggles. Your sides aching as you saw Jimin’s bewildered face. You had not even smiled his way since you had been back and here you were looking similar to a hyena.

Jin walked towards Jimin assisting him in picking up the clothes that were sprawled out on the floor, “Yah Jimin, I’ll take care of this. How about you take (y/n) out for a date”

You were about to say no until you noticed the way Jin smirked towards Jimin. Jimin looked lost but did not hesitate to walk towards you to grab your hand and pull you through the door.

“We will be back later”, Jimin said as he pulled you away into the outside world.

 This was a setup. You were more than sure this had been an evil scheme on their behalf. Jimin had dragged you to watch a chick flick you had been wanting to see at the movies, and he magically already had tickets for the sold-out showing.

He bought you all of your favorite snacks and carried them all for you.

Pleasant, everything had been easy going to the point of where you let him hold your hand as you walked back to the apartment. The lights flashing from the city illuminating his side profile as if he was a fairy.

You were still completely head over heels in love with him. There was no way of denying the way your heartbeat went all erratic with every smile he threw your way.

You arrived to an empty apartment, the scent of roses and your favorite Chinese dish shocking you. As soon as the door closed you turned towards Jimin only to find him on one knee.

Your heart dropped.

No this couldn’t be happening.

“(y/n), I know I have messed up time and time again, but after having to go some time without you beside me I realized one thing…. I can’t be without you. I need you. I want to be with you forever. Love is a scary thing. It changes every day. It can disappear in the blink of an eye. But I am not scared of love when it comes to you. I am willing to take this risk with you, and I know I haven’t been good at demonstrating how much you mean to me, but I promise ...no I swear I will make that my life mission. Please…..be my wife…..give me the chance of making you happy for the rest of your life. I want to have the rest of my life with memories of us together. I love you. Please be my wife” Jimin said with tears in his eyes and a soft smile on his face as he pulled out the most beautiful rose shaped ring with a red ruby in the middle.

Tears filled your eyes blurring Jimin and the dreams you had of spending an eternity with him, “No” you choked out,

Your heart shattered as you saw him looking around the room helplessly, obviously trying to gather up words to formulate a plan b to get you to say yes.

“(Y/N), I love you… What can I do? please tell me what I can do??” Jimin said borderline falling apart in front of you. Tears had started falling from his gorgeous brown eyes, and his lips were extra swollen and rosy from the endless amount of nervous lip biting.

“Nothing Jimin, You don’t have to do this. Whether we are together or not they are still your babies. I will not keep them away from you. You are their dad as much as I am their mom” you said as you made your way to the couch. You couldn’t be near him right now. You needed space, but he didn’t seem to get it as he stood up and walked towards you.

“That is not it at all, I love you. I want to be married to you because I love YOU!” he said with a tinge of sadness and frustration in his voice. He ran his hand through his hair another nervous habit of his.

You looked into his eyes, the patience that you had been able to keep up from the moment he proposed evaporated. You grasped his face in-between your hands, and then you let it all out, “Jimin, no, you don’t love me. You half love me. You only fully love me when she is not around, and even then I am pretty sure every thought in your head is not about me. I am not the one for you Jimin, I never have been. Can’t you see that?? I am not enough. Maybe one day you will find a girl who will be good enough for you to steal away all the love you have within you and only have it for herself, no one else. Every time I saw you with her I acted like it was not a big deal when in reality it was breaking my heart. That isn’t living, that is suicidal. I felt like a part of me was dying every time I saw you smiling at her. Sometimes I wish you could read my mind so you could have a better understanding of what goes through it. Jimin I am not going to say yes because I know that as much as I want the rest of my life to be spent with you by my side….. I am not willing to do it unless I won’t have to share you with anyone else. I want to marry you Jimin. I have dreamed of marrying you for awhile, but I can’t….. not like this.”

 “(y/n), is just you… I swear ...just you” Jimin said between sobs.

You tore your eyes away from his and looked at the floor, “Ruby….why a ruby?”

“Your birthstone”, Jimin replied completely sure of his answer.

You smiled at him bitterly, “Sapphire…..mine is sapphire….. Stephany’s was a ruby”

Jimin looked down at the black box that he still had in his hands, “ I am sorry I’ll change it, I am not very knowledgeable about this kind of stuff. I am so sorry.  I didn’t mean it like that”

You looked back into his eyes and held his hand in yours, you breathed in deeply, “Jimin I love you”

“I love you too” he replied instantly.

“Jimin, how many times have you fallen out of love??” you said completely serious.  Your face emotionless.

Jimin looked into your eyes with a glint of guilt you could see masked through his brown irises.

His cellphone rang snapping you both out of the minute of silence that had been haunting the apartment.

He looked from his phone to you alternatively, he shifted on the couch uncomfortably as his phone call went to voicemail.

You stood up reluctantly giving him your back as you walked towards the room, your heart aching from the flat out rejection you had given him, and yet you still had strength enough to utter one more sentence, “You should call her back”

[talesofealdancynedom]

Andromada Rosethorn, in faux fairy robe armor. best of both her parents.

Tale 17: Calliope Cwenfyre, Amadeus and Andromada Rosethorn (chapter 3 - Andromada 3/5) part 3. Stories of True Love

none

Though they were only freshly graduated, Scarlet and Amadeus desperately wanted to start a family. Thus, the fact Amadeus had no interest in intimacy presented a problem. Ever since figuring out, everyone, including him and scarlet, accepted and respected that part of his identity; until they were in a situation where it might matter. They loved each other; Scarlet would not leave Amadeus’s side, and was nothing but respectful of his boundaries. Amadeus would also never leave her, as he and his inner fey adored her. It was wholesome cuddling, and charming daily life that made them close. Scarlet cared not for Amadeus’s wealth, or status; Amadeus’s mother had indeed made a wonderful match. However, as much as they wanted a child, that fact remained that cuddling does not result in offspring, and creative troubleshooting was needed. It wasn’t only Scarlet who was becoming stressed by pursuing a family; Amadeus was also pressured to make an heir to Rosethorn manor, and was inspired to be a loving father by his best friend, Morgan’s, brand-new family. He couldn’t wait to be a parent. It was not long before the two lovebirds where cooing, while rummaging through his inheritances for hand down nursery supplies. There is something special about being with your partner, while you go through first albums, and find their baby shoes and blankets. It made them feel warm and fuzzy.

finally licensed magic users, two years after they decided to settle, Scarlet and Amadeus at last eagerly anticipated their daughter. Andromeda was born the same year as Morgan’s daughter Calliope, but in the fall. She was to be the only child Amadeus would have, and inherit the Rosethorn wealth. Which only occurred to him after she was born, while holding her in the middle of the night. Making her had caused so much emotional chaos, Scarlet and Amadeus decided one was enough, and were incredibly happy just to hold her. Once Amadeus realized how Andromada would he the only heir to Rosethorn, like him, it bothered him. Years before Andromeda was born, Amadeus’s mother had died suddenly, and Amadeus became the new owner of the manor and assets, before he even graduated from the magic academy. He was an internship away from being a certified paladin, and not quite a legal adult. He had life tragically put on him far sooner than he had expected. Amadeus had to grow up fast; which on top of his other motivators, resulted in him starting a family early. Amadeus was privileged of course; he had the family support, love enchantments, and financial resources to do it. Unlike Morgan, whose family was materialized from magical intervention and prophesies, years before he thought he’d be ready. Amadeus lived in fear that his risky job may cause the same thing to happen him or his daughter. He feared the same thing would happen to her. While raising Andromeda, Amadeus avoided his mother’s tactics, and instead focused on nurturing Andromada’s individual dreams and joys; instead of smothering her in future responsibilities.

As a result of his overzealous encouragement and love, Andromeda became her father’s biggest fan; she wanted to be a paladin just like him. This is something she shared with Calliope; Aspiring to be the good they saw in their fathers. Andromeda was carefully taught business and family history, to better take care of and love the manor; as well as how to care for the tree children and lovingly prepare orders of magic herbs. Unlike his mother, Amadeus chose to make Andromeda interested and invested in Rosthorn manor, by inviting her to do these things with him as a family activity. Which resulted in him loving it more as well. Amadeus avidly avoided grooming her into and ideal candidate. He would make her future ditties, an appreciated facet of her identity, instead of the whole picture. However, it turned out Andromeda was bursting with passion for her heritage, and grabbed onto her destiny like Velcro. Scarlet thought it was adorable. Amadeus didn’t need to do anything to promote Rosethorn manor; she already enthusiastically learned swords and sang off tune to plants. She loved it the day she first did it with her father at two years old.

Andromeda originally looked like her mother Scarlet, but once she got in a fight at the magic academy, she went dark, causing her to now look like her father. In fact, Calliope was there when it happened, in the swordsmanship gym module. Calliope had gone dark herself years prior, and had her python familiar Heracles at that point; but it was still shocking to see it happen to someone else. The uncontrollable spells and flow of magic coursing through another person, was scary up close. No matter the change in colours, Andromeda was a prodigy paladin, and had an unconventional sort of radiance: Athletically built for battle, equally tall as Calliope, while still retaining the best feminine features. Andromeda went home sick from going dark, and would be gone from school for a week. However, seeing the dignity and talent Andromeda possessed drew Calliope in. Andromeda had become an intrusive thought. Calliope realized that day, that she had developed a special affection for her childhood acquaintance. Her father’s best friend’s daughter no less. When she came home, and saw cousin Reggie, she asked her gay aunt if she might like Andromeda. Reggie married a stone princess, and would surely give an accurate expeirianced second opinion. This gave Reggie vast amounts of amusement, as she listened to Calliope rant about Andromeda. It felt shocking to Calliope; Ralizing she had fallen for a girl she had known her whole life. Turned out as the years went by, Andromeda and Calliopes paths just wouldn’t diverge. Resulting in a near daily awkward encounters.

When Andromeda graduated, she was accepted to apprentice her father. Two years accompanying a certified magic user in your field, after graduating from an academy, was necessary to be licensed. Amadeus, though her father, was the closest and highest-ranking paladin available to take on a graduate. Andromeda’s first international mission would be with her father; and was to accompany seers on a quest to gather population and behavioral data on golden eyed green dragons, in Isfisceard in the Northlands. Andromeda gleamed when she read who else was on the research team.

“I picked this mission, because Calliope is on it. It’s her first international quest as well. I want to make sure she’s safe.” Amadeus said. Protecting loved ones on quests was his ambition after all. It wouldn’t be too different then going off with Morgan, Amadeus thought. Protecting Morgan’s carbon copy felt nearly identical to helping the friend he was indebted to. Then he noticed Andromeda’s expression; She was smiling widely, in a dazed sort of state. She was imagining the adorable smile Calliope got when she learned something new, and how soft her floral pink dresses must be on Calliope’s slight frame, if Andromeda ever hugged her. Then she recalled the weird cups Calliope always showed off with genuine excitement, and her obnoxious yet romantic rose perfume, and….

“Why are you smiling? Happy to be with friends too?” Amadeus said sitting next to his daughter. Andromeda squeezed the document into a crumple while blushing. Amadeus paused a moment after the words ‘friends’ left his mouth.

“I see. It’s like that. Well, I guess you also have a special place in your heart for Calli? Maybe not the familial variety as me, but still. Morgan will happy to hear his daughter of summer will return home safely.” Amadeus said, trying to be encouraging. But Andromeda had almost stopped breathing, and had become flushed. He didn’t want to influence his daughter and Calliopes relationship; yet he also really did want to make them happy together. Realizing he made Andromeda uncomfortable, Amadeus scraped his brain to change the subject.

“How about a haircut? You keep asking for a more butch haircut to be intimidating? You’ll look good for your first big mission! Even though your mother loves your hair being as long and nearly white like mine. It makes you look like her, I must admit. But as you put it: Long hair is something your opponent might grab. Between us, however, mine never got in the way of my badassery.” Amadeus proposed, running his fingers through his long platinum hair. Andromeda was still frozen. Calliope also had nice long hair… Why would my father do this to me? Andromeda thought.

On the journey, Amadeus went from protecting the child of his friend by oath, to wanting his daughter and Calliope to have a happily ever after. They were both failing at being calm around each other, and were in a state of being unable to express their feelings. It was frustrating to watch. Amadeus wondered how they even got through school without saying anything. He failed to realize, the girls had been playing a game of small talk, and awkward avoidance, because they were emotional teenagers focused on building their futures. It is also possible they were experiencing the crushing fate of true love, that effects people of magic houses. Love effects housed people differently; wizards and mages tend to spark a love that burns faster, hotter and longer than fluoride. It is a literal uncontrollable spontaneous spell.

After a day on the train, the research party began hiking to their final destination; Amadeus let Calliope and Andromeda go ahead together, while he debriefed with the team leader. Calli and Andromeda were alone far in front, together, in silence, unable to make eye contact. They were supposed to be lead guide and guard.

“I only thought only your father was coming. Its’, ah, nice to have you here too,” calliope murmured. “Also, I like your new hair…it suits you.”

“Oh. Thanks. My dad cut it… Which is weird because my maternal grandparents run the village salon. He was keen on doing it himself for me.” Andromeda vacantly rambled. “Anyway, moving on: I was also pleased to come on a mission with you, and Heracles, of course. Father probably took the job because he cares so much about Morgan, and you have all his best qualities… And so, we can keep you safe; It’s isolated on those sea cliffs. And there are dragons and such…” Andromeda nervously replied.

“We grew up in a magic forest, Ann; You know fey are not inherently dangerous right? You’re not going to hurt them, are you? your too nice…”

“Oh, oh, um, of course not. I just meant I wanted to ensure you are-” Andromeda panicked; they were interrupted by Amadeus bursting into laughter behind them. It caused such dissonance from his calm formidable reputation, that the whole troop went silent. The girls uncomfortable exchange seemed so funny to him at the time.

“Didn’t know he could laugh.” Calliope said, as she looked to Amadeus at the back. Andromeda looked away into the sea of to the side, to hide her face, and shrugged.

At the top of the cliffs, where the dragons where, Amadeus set up a tent while Calliope ran off and began interviewing the dragons. Andromeda cautiously tagged close behind, scared Calliope might fall. If she learned anything of seers, it was that they would easily forget fear, upon noticing something of their interest was within immediate grasp. Andromeda knew very little Old English, aside from what Amadeus taught her to sing to the Rosethorn garden; but nodded slowly while not taking her eyes off Calliope. Calli was entranced and didn’t notice Andromeda’s gaze, or Amadeus silently following.

After three hours of talking with fey, andromeda and Calliope headed back to the camp, and Andromeda noticed her father was at the tent, appearing to have been painting in his journal the whole time. In reality, Amadeus had only just returned, having dashed back to camp before they noticed him. His enfeyment with a moon serval gave him good stealth, tracking and speed. Amadeus had been watching them the whole the time, as was his job, but didn’t want them to know.

“FATHER.” Andromeda yelled; furious he wasn’t working. “Paladins take watch while on quests, not paint.” She scolded. Amadeus remained calm, as he actually had been doing his job.

“I’m sorry, Andromeda. You looked like you had control of the situation. I should add, now that I have your attention, that we are a tent short. You and Calli have to share one; Is that ok?” Amadeus responded casually, blowing on the gauche to make it dry faster. “Don’t worry, Ann. Calli will be up all-night filling in her journal. She’s a chip right off the old block.”

“Wait! What did you say Father?” Andromeda exclaimed. Calliope had so much fun talking to dragons, she had only just returned to reality, in time to hear this exchange. She realized instantly there was no way she was going to be able to journal notes, while sharing a tent with Andromeda. If she did stay up late, it would be from fluster.

In the past, anytime they saw each other, it was for an hour at most, and in a class or a party where they didn’t interact much. Being in a small town meant you knew everyone, but you had the choice not to spend every waking moment with them. Or sleeping moment in this case. Amadeus had already pitched the tent, and thought himself clever. He was happy he wasn’t as serious about things as he had been when he was younger. At best this was a nudge or joke, and worst a jerk move. Calliope and Andromeda did not make eye contact the whole evening, went to bed early, and pretended they were asleep until they actually were. Amadeus could sense they were still awake, when he woke at dark from his enchanted sleep schedule. Moon serval sleep four hours at dawn and dusk; guaranteed eight hours of hard-core sleep, but up at awkward times of the day and night. Convenient for night shifts. While making rounds, Amadeus crouched down to Andromeda and Calliope’s tent, and listened with his keen ears to ensure they were asleep. Instead, he heard their racing hearts, as they lay still and quiet in the dark spacious tent. It made him wonder if he had made a terrible mistake, by rooting a little too hard from the sidelines.

NEXT--->

<---PREVIOUS

[neospacenerds]

Notes on AU!Roman

Reversed Background

Almost everything about Roman’s home planet is explained in this post, though I've come up with a few amendments since them. Mainly regarding the name which is now KXT-49. But here are some additional notes.

- His family has weird hair and eye colors because at some point they volunteered as test subjects for cosmetic gene modification to make some extra money. It’s one of the many things that people can do on these corporation  owned planets to earn extra cash.

- Was discovered to be an abnormally fast learner from a really early age, but that didn’t amount to anything seeing as hello, their lives are still pretty much corporate collateral.

- Access to reading materials is very sparse on his planet and internet access was limited, so anything he could read he would tear through repeatedly. He never attended an official school. Like most of the kids on the planet, the only education they got was from teachers from a voluntary organization coming over to give them lessons, which is how his sister-in-law Clairesse got involved in his life.

- Clairesse played a big role in cultivating his interest in learning, especially in science and math. Her being able to come and go from the planet as she wished allowed her to bring back lots of reading materials and learning aids that helped him immensely.

- His big break came when he got intergalactic attention for discovering a huge flaw in a prominent scientific theory that basically changed the foundations of modern science (I often joke that it’s Einsteins theory of relativity but I might actually have to research on this one)

- That’s basically how he earned a full scholarship to NEMI under the  Technological & Systems and Support majors from one of the biggest names in R&D in the galaxy (possibly Nabaal, we’ll have to see when i start developing my concepts for the AU!Hyperion Collective).

- He’s got a very simple goal; make cutting edge breakthroughs in tech development that’ll earn him enough money to buy his family out of indentured labor.

- Naturally he’s practically guaranteed to end up in for Alpha in this universe, primarily because he doesn't have the glaring personality flaws his canon self possesses.

Personality

- My basis for his personality was basically what Roman would be like if he didn’t turn out to be so very jaded and cynical about everything. AU! Roman is intelligent, but more importantly he’s obviously constantly curious and isn’t reserved about it. He know’s he’s smarter than most but he doesn't rub that in everyone else faces. He’s not at all reserved when it comes to asking questions, and when he really hooks on to a topic those questions can get rapid fire and intense as all hell.

- He has an almost scary desire to improve himself and is always working on something. Doesn't matter if he’s reading, doing homework, learning some new skill or going ham in the workshop, it’s as if he constantly needs to be working somehow. A lot of that compulsion probably comes from the fact that he thinks he missed out on so much time to do so much while he was just a farm boy on his home planet. Now he feels that he needs to make up for that, not to mention the fact that his family’s basically relying on him to get them out of hell. No pressure.

- You know that one Hamilton song? Why do you write like you’re running out of time? That’s him. Part of him feels like this whole experience is a dream from which he might wake up from at any time, which is why he’s got to make the best use of it while he can.

- One thing he retains about his canon personality is how organized he is. In addition he’s very frugal and doesn't waste anything. Does everything to maximum effectiveness, which might come off as OCD a lot of the time.

- He’s definitely a lot more genuine. Oh yes he’s got no qualms about being open about his feelings. One might say he really took after his mother on this one. It might take awhile for him to ease into it though, since back home he’s very used to repressing his emotions just to make things easier on those around him. But once he gets used to the idea that he’s in an environment where he doesn't have to do that, oh boy are we going to have a fun time.

- I feel like he would also retain some of his manipulative edge. Not a lot of it, just enough to show that he’s self-aware about his motivations. He knows he’s there for a purpose and that’s to get rich. Anything that brings him a step closer to that goal, he’ll do in a heartbeat. Contrary to his canon self, he’d probably be very contentious about making friendly relationships, especially with others who could prove useful in the future. He especially would target individuals that’re well off, which I think at some point will lead to him befriending the wrong people (ie. AU!Aoife, if my ideas for her pan out, nudge nudge wink wink). Realizing where his morals stand in comparison to his ambitions is probably going to become a definitive struggle for him.

- He is very shrewd when it comes to making money and takes up any opportunity he can find. He will do a lot of things for money, even if they border on morally gray or take advantage of legal loopholes. Though he probably wouldn’t commit a crime. I’ve actually envisioned him plotting some sort of scam type scheme with Day to steal from the rich and give to the poor (himself) which might be a whole episode i’ll write about later.

- He tries not to lie, though he can and will twist/omit the truth. He definitely feels guilt about his ulterior motives but tells himself it's all for a good cause.

- He’s probably going to start as someone who avoids conflict and takes insults rather than fighting back since I imagine that’s the kind of treatment he’s endured back on his home planet. He’s also diplomatic rather than confrontational in nature. However he’s probably going to develop with time from being calculatingly passive to actually being able to stand up for himself. There’ll come a breaking point where someone pushes him a little too far and he snaps, giving rise to him easing into the iconic sassmaster9000 that he was meant to be.

- He might fight some people, though he’d probably since he's a scrawny farm boy with minimal combat training.

- I feel like he keeps trying to do ridiculous experimental stuff going out of his way to try to break the law of physics. Everyone else is just like Roman stop why can’t you give us regular exosuit upgrades like everyone else and he’s just like NORMAL ISN’T GOING TO MAKE ME RICH. He especially wants to build a portable temporal flux device ie. mini time travel machine. Imagine someone being able to zip about through time like tracer.

- He really likes animals. REALLY likes them. I swear he will befriend any animal in existence.

Family

- His family structure is essentially the same as canon, two half brothers, father, mother. Only difference being that his mom’s actually still alive in this one.

- His brother’s mother, Elizabeth was the sister of his mother, Victoria. She fell ill and died, leaving Victoria to take care of her young nephews. Somewhere along the line Frederick and Victoria fell in love and they got married and tada, Roman was born.

- Roman has a lot of respect for his parents, both of whom are ridiculously hardworking. They tried their best to keep the children away from hard work for as long as they could so it wouldn’t stunt their growth or affect their health, but it took a heavy toll on them. Frederick’s health has been poor over the past few years, and while Victoria’s determination to raise her children has prevented her from falling into the same pit of despair she did in canon, she can get really emotionally unstable, hysterical and is always stressed about making ends meet.

- Roman got a lot of his diplomatic personality from dealing with his mother who overreacts to things a lot. It’s an unspoken rule in their household that he’s pretty much the only one who really knows how to handle her when she’s like that.

- His oldest brother Alexander follows closely in their father’s footsteps. He is happily married to Clairesse and they're about to have their first child. Roman is really to Clairesse, She’s practically the sister she never had and they act like they’ve been siblings forever.

- His brother Caesar is the troublemaker in the family. To everyone’s dismay he’s constantly getting into trouble gambling, drinking and being an unscrupulous womanizer. He's been chased out of the house with a broom more times than anyone can count. He constantly tries to mooch money off his younger brother, and though Roman never gives him any he sneaks food out so Caesar doesn't go hungry. It feels a lot like he’s the older brother whenever he as to give Caesar a lecture about not being a fucking dumbass.

[ariphyll]

in the silence you can hear my heart beat (instead of the make-believe monsters breathe)

AO3 Ver

Written for FE Rarepair Week day 5: Dreams/Touch (Niles/Takumi; contains some non-graphic/very mild nsfw)

Word Count: 1371

Summary: They both used each other as a way to relax for the moment.

Takumi seldom managed to sleep through the night. Nightmares of various ideas and monsters would end up waking him, and he would lie in silence making out shapes on the ceiling. Phantom fears would still circle him in the dark even while awake. It usually only took a few minutes of feeling trapped in terror to get Takumi up and out of his room. A change of scenery, fresh air, whatever helped.

Back at Castle Shirasagi he would go and shoot his bow in the archery range, the night stars shimmering above him. His arrows would be loud and sharp in the silent air as everyone around him slept. Now, tucked away in the astral plane with the rest of Corrin’s growing army, Takumi still headed towards that area but the stars above him were different. They blinked and moved and changed and were nothing like the ones from home. The silence surrounding him had also changed because he was no longer alone.

It took him a few nights to realize it was Niles watching him. From his place up in the trees he’d watch Takumi shoot and say nothing, and Takumi would be left wondering where his nerves were coming from. It was pure luck that he had noticed the trees shifting and managed to catch Niles in the act.

“Why are you watching me?” Takumi had demanded.

“Why is a prince out of bed so late?” Niles had responded, and they fell into a quick stalemate.

Takumi wasn’t obligated to spell out his nightmares for him, and that allowed Niles to keep his secrets to himself. He didn't exactly care why Niles was out as late as him, but more so why he would continuously bother him. The stalemate lasted a good two nights before Takumi had cracked. A guy could only handle so much staring and occasional snide comments before losing it.

Tossing down the Fujin Yumi, Takumi had stormed over to him. “Niles! Do you want something from me, is that it?”

“Hmm, a dangerous thing to ask me Prince Takumi.” Niles folded his arms as Takumi glared at him. “I have a good view of the sky from the trees here.”

“Well, you’re not watching the sky now are you? You’re watching me and- it’s weird and I want you to stop!”

Niles smirked. “Oh? Does the Hoshidan Prince have an issue with being watched? And here I thought you so desperately craved attention.”

Takumi could tell by the grin on Niles face that the words were meant to be as sharp and pointed at him. It would be unbefitting of a royal for Takumi to punch him after that, but if his arrows had started to fly towards where Niles was, he wasn’t going to stop himself. Smug bastard. It only took a week more before Niles had squeezed out of him why Takumi was always up at night.

“Nightmares?” Niles had scoffed. “Am I to honestly believe that? What would a royal who has lived a cushy life like you have experienced in order to have such severe nightmares?”

Takumi did punch him then. Fast enough to catch Niles off guard, and strong enough to knock him back a bit. Tears bubbled hot in Takumi’s eyes as anger burned in his chest - gods, his mother, birth mother always said he mirrored her. Emotions ran too high and would always form as tears rather than anything else. They were weapons, she had said but his father always said men didn't cry so he was torn between them. It didn't matter any which way now because they were both dead and every word they've said still haunts him in his dreams as daggers poised to strike.

Takumi wasn’t sure if it was him crying or the punch he gave that made Niles change his tune, but something about him must've triggered something. Before Takumi could stalk off Niles had a grip on his wrist keeping him trapped there. Niles' hand was warm where he touched Takumi’s skin but he still tugged in an attempt to free himself. The contact was becoming too hot, too much sensation for him right now.

“I suppose it's only fair - I watch the stars for the same reason,” Niles had said, voice low and flat. An admission of his own flaws. He tilted his head. “Do you always act like a child when someone calls you out on your status?”

“Am I acting like a child? When you’re the one who insulted me first? If I'm a child then you must be one as well.”

“... Fair enough.”

Niles had let his wrist go and Takumi stalked off, cursing him mentally the whole way. By the next night though, the entire dynamic had shifted. Niles was more… friendly. Instead of just watching Takumi practice he would join in, and eventually Takumi found himself climbing up trees with Niles to stargaze. Niles would still taunt him but it was never as malicious as before, always walking around an audible line. Takumi took it as Niles respecting him rather than pity. He wasn’t sure if Niles could process pity.

After a month of bickering and near-cuddling up high together, Takumi kissed him. It was chaste and he started to regret it immediately, but it was still warm. The hand that ran through his hair as Niles pulled him back closer was even warmer. Takumi didn’t find any love in it, from either side. He had no interest in Niles for the long-term and neither did he. They both could find some solace together in touch, though.

It wasn’t any kind of cure. Takumi still got nightmares as frequently as Niles did and no amount of sex would change that. It was more than that however. The feeling of another person next to you when you woke up was… some kind of safety that was hard to get elsewhere. Takumi would wake up in a panic as usual, and Niles would either already be up or wake up as well from his thrashing. It’d be half-asleep touches and kisses then before Takumi would catch his breath, and they’d fall into a calming silence together.

No, it certainly was no cure, but it was something. They kept their affair quiet from everyone else - as far as they were concerned, outside of the night they had no reason to speak to each other. Niles had his duties as a retainer, and Takumi had his as a prince. Two separate worlds for two separate people. At night that veil would fall away and they’d end up clinging to one another to find that safety, but only when they could hide.

It was harder to think about black claws dragging down his skin or shadows choking him when Takumi could focus on Niles instead, something real and tangible. His teeth weren’t as sharp as the ones gleaming in his dreams, and the marks left by them were visible instead of mental. He gleamed pleasure instead of fear from Niles, and there was no way to focus on what horror awaited him in his sleep when he was moaning into someone’s mouth.

Takumi didn’t know fully how much he helped Niles. For all he knew Niles could still be just as bad as before; he couldn’t really tell. Niles certainly had no complaints though, or if he did, he never voiced them to Takumi and that was good enough for him. It was clear to the both of them that he was using Niles and Niles was using him. No matter how soft Niles felt in the dark or how warm he was when pressed together, Takumi wouldn’t let himself even try to make anything more out of it.

One day, he’d find someone genuine who could do what Niles did. Someone to touch and hold during the long nights, except that person would be kinder, more caring. There’d be no more marks on him, signs of venting from both parties. Touch would be treated as affection rather than a safety net. It wouldn't be a relationship based on who could stave off their dreams the longest. Takumi tried not to think too much on how boring that will be.