aozorafox

[oneraintorulethemall]

[justafairytailofinnocence]

If it isn't to much trouble may i have (male) lotr matchup please. My pronouns are she/her. Im a Capricorn, my Mbti type is infj-a/infj-t. I tend to be shy around new people but I can be somewhat loud with people who im close to. I have a brown hair, green eyes i wear black glasses,pale skin and a lot of freckles. My height is 5'0. I have a septum nose piecing. My aesthetic would be cottegecore mixed with oversized sweaters. Im not very athletic and im not a big fan of sports but i love to go roller and ice skating. I also love to read books and to also cook and bake food. I also like to garden. I've been playing the violin for 6-ish years. I love animals and im planing on becoming a wildlife veterinarian. I like to Watch nature/animal documentaries. I also like sweets. Some things i dislike are people who bend or ruin my books and people who speak over me when im trying to talk. I love music, I can listen to any genre and like it but my favorites are indie,bedroom pop and classic rock. sorry if i spelt anything wrong. Hope im not bothering you, also I hope the infor is ok :)

(If its not to much trouble could you avoid matching me with the hobbits, they give best friend vibes idk how to explain it lol)

Hope your having a good day/night :)

Alright hello once again we are here with a lotr ship soooo in that case no hobbits allowed (my dear are you an elf hahaha jk)

Actually speaking of elf's I pair you with I match you with:

Legalos 🌹

-your personality and strong passion for the wild life service is what drew him in. Your looks was confusing to him as he usually had never seen such a beauty.

-geese the height difference he would need to bend down to reach a kiss from you. Legalos surprisingly doesn't mind at all.

- ever since he spotted you in the forest helping a wounded deer he was drawn in from your kindness because his dad thinks all human men are evil. Destroying the forest but from your sight the rebellious elf greeted you.

-when you go ice skating or rollerblading he's surprinsly elegant but still needs a few lessons so I always imagined a blonde haired flowing elf carrying a brown haired pretty girl around the ice.

- your nature and kindness I can picture the two of you spending a lot of time in the forest simply reading books he would be fascinated by what your reading.

You: *reading* oh legalos I had no idea you were peering from their

Legalos: oh forgive me I wanted to know what you were reading

You: oh it's just about the wildlife around here fascinating is it not

Legalos: oh indeed elfs usually protect the forest from humans

You: I wore the dress you gave me it's so beautiful *forest cottage core vibes dress*

Legalos: indeed I'm glad I got you the dress

You: so about our wedding I was wondering if it could be in the forest

Legalos: oh of course um I've never planned weddings before

You: well I can help with that *sits up and wrapping hands around his head*

Legalos: hm what are you doing *looks confused*

You: shh just let me show you happiness *kisses his soft lips*

Legalos: *locks lips as the forest surrounds them* I..loved you y/n ever since I saw you in the forest healing animals I never felt anything like this before with anyone.

You: I know I've had the same for you.

-cooking would be fun normally legalos wouldn't really know how to bake much since he's used to grabbing food usually.

-you playing the violin in the forest would sooth his needs. The elf would listen from in the trees not disturbing you always loving to wait until your finished.

-music may be hard but he would love to listen to your favourite tunes with you even if it's blasting rock.

-expect daddy issues with thranduil he doesn't like humans but if you convinced him enough he would accept your marriage.

-the wedding will be in the forest as crowds gather to see their new human queen as thranduil may be iffy. But you wore a beautiful nature dress with an oak crown and legalos wore won to complement you.

Welp that's all for now please let me know if anything needs changing ♥️

[ladyideal]

Wedding Bells

Pairing: Aragorn x Reader

Word Count: 2164

Warnings: mention of injury but fluff

Summary: requested by anon: Hello, may I request an Aragorn x female!ranger!reader fic or headcanons list? I’m not sure about how much detail you prefer but something along the lines of Aragorn realizing his love for the reader before the War of the Ring and him confessing while they’re in the Fellowship, and ultimately marrying her after the war. You’re welcome to change anything you’d like or add a bit more of a backstory. Thanks!

A/n: Ahh first lotr and it's Aragorn! This came out not bad for first request. Or normally first one always comes out a little stilted and awkward. Hope you like it, anon!

The church bells rang. 

Your arm linked through your father's, trembling slightly. Today was the day that you were going to marry your love, the new King of Gondor, Aragorn. Today was the day that you'd yearn for so long to happen. Today was the day that two became one.

"That's our signal," Your father gruffly spoke emotionally, as any father would be on the day his daughter would be wedded to another. "If only your mother was here to see you all grown up and pretty."

You blinked away tears as much as possible, doing your best to not mess up the light make up. In light of your mother's death so long ago, your father had taken down the shop he'd owned to take care of you. Everything you knew as a Ranger was from him. 

How to hunt, how to ride horses, how to fend for yourself, and ultimately how to be kind and love others. It was the way as a Ranger, he'd said, to protect Middle Earth from forces of evil. 

"I love you," You murmured, descending carefully down the stairs and towards the entrance. 

"I love you too, princess," Your father, your rock, your first love, squeezed your hand once more. Not for the first time, you wondered how you even got to this position.

Two Years Ago

If anyone asked, chasing after orcs was not a fun leisure pastime to spend your days. Chasing after orcs itself was not fun, especially when you were sporting an injury on your dominant arm. Cursing yourself for being so careless, you hunkered down under a grove of trees, and started a small fire. 

Dink!

Without thinking, you notched an arrow and aimed your bow towards the direction of the sound. 

"Show yourself!" You ordered into the silence. 

"What is a lady doing out here all alone?" A familiar voice spoke from the shadows, hands up and palms outward in surrender.

You gasped as the figure moved towards the fire light, slowly illuminating his features. With a grin, you lowered your bow. 

"I could ask the same to you," You sat back down on the uneven ground, patting the spot beside you. "Prince Aragorn."

"Am merely a Ranger, m'lady," The Ranger sat down in your offered spot, settling himself comfortably. The edges of his lips curled upwards, despite his efforts. "What brings you here, Y/N? Shouldn't you be back at Minas Tirith?"

"Orcs," You grumbled, checking on your stew you'd hastily threw together at the very last minute. "Been following them for a couple days now."

Silence.

Confused, you turned to him, only to find that his attention was drawn towards your still not dressed injury. Gently, his fingers ghosted on the bleed, and you winced. He gestured towards your arm, while breaking out his kit.

"I know what you're gonna say, Aragorn. You are careless, blah blah blah. The sword got me," You rolled your eyes. "I can stitch it up myself. Just lemme get this stew bubbling first."

"And make a mess of yourself again like last time?" He snorted, shaking his head as he worked. 

"It was just that one time!" You exclaimed, drawing a slight pout at him. "I'll be okay."

He was silent, focusing on the task in front. With your non injured arm, you fetched out two bowls and a ladle. By the time he was done, two bowls of piping hot stew sat in the center along with some leftover lembas bread. 

"Y/N," He addressed you, tightly tying the bandages together. "When I heard you were gone, I thought something had happened. I've tracked you for weeks, thinking the worst."

You handed him his helping of stew, glancing into his grey eyes. 

"And I realized that I missed having you by my side," He took your offering with a nod of thanks. "I'm coming along with you, Y/N. Lest you trip and fall on your own sword due to your clumsiness. "

"Aragorn!"

"No buts, m'lady," He started on his stew, all the while smirking at you.

You rolled your eyes at him.

He could get used to this bantering, he thought. You by his side was all he would ever need. 

You were greeted by the cheering people of Gondor, and two lines of saluting soldiers on either side. The magnificent, intricately carved, ceiling to floor doors were splayed widely. With a tentative smile, you entered the Great Hall.

Family and friends on both sides of the aisle stood up respectfully, all grins and happiness on their faces. Glancing ahead, you brightened up as Aragorn stepped out from a nearby door all dressed up.

Gone were his well known dark green cloak, and worn out leather boots. Instead, a pair of black boots, and black hose was kept. He also wore a sleeveless robe of red velvet, edged in gold. The three buttons of silver were engraved with a star. Another robe was added, black, made of leather and again edged with gold. 

It was fastened with claps made of silver. The robe held the device of Gondor, the White Tree surrounded by seven stars, detailed in silver. A finely made cloak of black was made to complete the outfit; and this was fastened to the outer robe by clasps of gold and silver. The winged silver crown sat on his curls, and his ring was proudly displayed.

He was impossibly handsome, much more than you'd ever seen.

It took your entire will and your father's steady hands that kept you sprinting towards the altar. You did your best to walk down the impossibly long aisle in the same beat as the musicians. You gave a small smile at your soon to be husband, quietly giggling at his amazed look at you.

"Absolutely not, Y/N!" Aragorn paced in front of you. "I can not allow you to join the Fellowship."

"Aragorn," You spoke, desperately keeping the annoyance out of your voice. "I can keep myself safe, thank you. I'm going with you whether you like it or not. Someone has to watch your back."

He had bickered again, but finally admitted defeat. As the Fellowship was formed and set off towards Mordor, he only wished that you would make it out safe and sound. 

It was three months in before the prince acted on his feelings. A sly smirk from the elf prince Legolas, a laughter from Gimli, and a fit of coughs from Gandalf was all it took for him to gather his wits and to speak with you.

Getting to his feet, he approached your cot.

"A word with you, Y/N?" Aragorn spoke. Looking perplexed, you took his offered hand and pulled yourself up.

"Where to?" You asked, confused. It was Legolas that had first watch tonight. Did the elf call you? Bringing you some distance away from the fire, he turned to you.

"Y/N, I-," He stopped, shaking his head. "It has occurred to me that I'm glad you came, despite putting yourself into so much danger. I realized that I need you by my side, and I just want to say that I lo-."

"I know, my love. I've known for awhile now," You interrupted the Ranger, pulling the dark green cloak off your back and placing it on your lap. "I know when you watch me behind my back, your soft lingering touches, your knowing smile that only I know of, and your everlasting need to drive me crazy. I know, Aragorn. I love you too."

"I can't deny that I know what lies ahead or how it'll end. What I can tell you is that my love for you has always been steady and true. I'm not a man who throws caution into the wind, but I'll do it if it means having you by my side till the end."

You scooched closer to him until practically your knees were touching his. He cupped your face with his hands, gazing adoringly into your eyes. 

"What do you say we take our chances together, Y/N?" He breathed, brushing your cheek with a calloused thumb. 

"I say yes," You crashed your lips onto his.

It almost felt like years before you finally met Aragorn at the front. With a sad smile, your father handed your hand into Aragorn's. He nodded once at your father before turning to you.

"Hi," You mouthed, grinning at your lover and King.

"Hello," He returned, equally grinning from one ear to another. 

The officiant started speaking, and you honestly did your best to stay attentive. Minutes in though, you shuffled your weight between your feet, eager to just be wed as husband and wife. Then be crowned queen, so you could tow Aragorn from all the pomp and flair, and return back to your room. 

In the meantime, all you could do was gaze around at the decorations fit for the royalty. Then at your family and friends. Prince Eomer was there, Prince Legolas beside him, Gimli, the hobbits, and even Gandalf sat in the second row. Honestly, you appreciated them all after so long on the road in the fight against Sauron.

"Aragorn!" You shouted from within the bottom level of Minas Tirith. "I'm coming with you!"

"Keep the women and children safe in the caves, Y/N!" Aragorn retorted. "I'll lead the men!"

You gave him a frown, but there wasn't any time to argue. Suddenly, you found him fiercely crushing your lips. You stayed like that before you were forced to break for air.

"I'll come back for you, m'lady," He growled. "And I'll marry you then and there."

"Come back to me in one piece first, Aragorn," you replied breathlessly. 

"Here," He got down onto one knee, and slid off his signature twin emerald snakes ring onto your left hand. "I swear to you, Y/N. You are my life, my soul, my sun. This is my promise to make you my wife. I will return for you, understand? Rohan will answer the call for help, and we will win once and for all."

You bit the bottom of your lip, scared and unsure. Gently, you placed one hand on the side of his face. Answering your unsaid plea, he nuzzled your palm, then turned it over to kiss your knuckles. You pulled him up again.

"Fight hard, Aragorn," You whispered. "I will wait."

This was the one time he was glad you didn't listen to his orders, and went out onto the battlefield to join the fight. At first, you'd bolster the archers along with Legolas and Gimli onto of the many castle levels. However as the orcs breached the defences, you found yourself pulling your sword out of its sheath and fighting for your life and for Middle Earth.

It was a red day, many lives were lost on both sides. You laid on the grass, surrounded by many dead Uruk-Hai, regrettably injured in so many ways. The sun was up, and the land bled red.

When the war was won, Aragorn's first thought went to you. As the women and children were allowed to leave the caves, he left them hastily when there was no sign of you.

"Any sign of a women?" He called out to the men dragging the dead to the side, and bringing in the injured.

"Why would a women be on the field?" One of his men answered him. 

He cursed as he stumbled around the field, half delirious in his quest of finding you. No, you couldn't be dead. He wouldn't allow it. 

"Sir! I've found her!" A distant voice called from a distance. 

Sprinting as fast as his legs could bring him and with dread coiling tightly in his stomach, Aragorn hoped- yearned for your safety and love. You were the only woman he loved, and will ever love. With you gone, would only destroy him. Upon reaching your broken body, he made a strangled sound and dropped to his knees.

"Y/N!" He cried, grabbing your thankfully still warm hand.

Your eyes fluttered open, and brightened up when they met his grey eyes. "Did we win?"

"We did," He nodded. "Now all you need to do is lay back and relax. The healers will have you patched up. Can you do that for me, my queen?"

"Anything for you, Aragorn."

"Will you, King Aragorn II Elessar Telcontar, take Lady Y/N Y/L/N as your lawful wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"

"I do," His voice rang clear.

"And will you Lady Y/N Y/L/N, take King Aragorn ll Elessar Telecontar, as your lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"

You caught his gaze, and smiled.

"I do."

Permanent Tags: @mournthewicked @asraime @cuddlememerrick(if you want to be tagged for a specific fandom or in general, please let me know!)

[incomprehensiblelentils]

@swiftjolras tagged me in this fic writer meme, thanks buddy! Also because B and I do a lot of cowriting, I’m going to try to stick to the ones that only I have written for this meme. I guess if somebody wants I can do one about our cowritten stuff separately...? but I feel like this is a fair restriction.

Name: Megan

Fandoms: I mean. Do you want my like, current fandoms I write for or all the fandoms I’ve written for EVER? Actually the latter might be fun let’s do that! I think of my fanfic writing life as having 3 phases: the stuff I wrote when I was a little kid and didn’t know what fanfic was (Winnie the Pooh, Aladdin); the stuff I wrote as a middle/high schooler on ff.net (Cyberchase, The Princess Diaries, The Incredibles, LOTR, X-Men, Pirates of the Caribbean); and the stuff I’ve posted on AO3 in college and beyond (Doctor Who, Dollhouse, Alphas, RPF*, MCU - particularly Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil, Firefly, Once Upon a Time, Kingsman, Wreck-it-Ralph, Terminator: Dark Fate). I actually used to be a BNF in Incredibles fandom, which is hilarious in retrospect as my fic was very bad BUT it was an incredible ego boost for a fourteen-year-old who loved writing! At the moment I mostly write for SHIELD and Dark Fate, with detours into other random gay shit as I feel like it.

*cancel me for my T-rated stories from 2013 I DARE YOU

Where You Post: my AO3 is here and I have a writing blog here that I link stuff from although I’m bad at updating it lol

Most Popular One-Shot: According to hits, by a hair it’s you are the ditch I tumbled into running blind, the first Skimmons fic I ever wrote AND the first Skimmons fic posted on AO3. Although my high school AU has a couple hundred more kudos. They are both 7 years old! That’s wild.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Again, taking out mallverse which is cowritten and would be the obvious winner at over 40k hits over 6 years, it’s and for once you let go of your fears and your ghosts, which is my Victoria/Isabelle fix-it. It has over 800 hits and 47 kudos, which for a femslash ship in this fandom that isn’t popular at all is pretty damn good! (I wish it was my Kara fix-it, but what can you do when fandom is bad lol.)

Favorite Story You’ve Written: I talk about say you will, the Endgame Natasha/Laura fix-it, a lot, because it took me months to write and was born out of not only my hatred of Endgame but years of pent-up anger and frustration at how Natasha is treated in both canon and fandom. It’s probably my most personal fic - I wrote it as both a redemptive tribute for this character that I’ve loved for almost a decade and a goodbye to her. I got to fill in the blanks of Laura’s character that canon didn’t bother to address, and I made all three Barton kids autistic and gave them all traits that I and my brother and my friends have. I also had to write a lot of very uncomfortable emotions that I haven’t really dealt with in my writing too much and that was interesting and challenging. I know it won’t ever get the attention I’d like it to, but I still love it so much.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: lol all the Terminator porn, I’m not linking it again, y’all can find it, porn is scary bye

How You Choose Your Titles: I am shameless and steal lyrics. Terminator fics all have Carly Rae Jepsen lyrics, I also use TSwift and Marian Call a lot.

Complete: 50 exactly! And a couple dozen more I cowrote with B as well (mostly one-shots).

Incomplete: 5, at least one of which I should really go back and mark complete just because it’s a billion years old and I’ll probably never go back to it lol. But Three Lawyers and a Little Lady will definitely get updated someday because I love my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition AU! And I have a shitton ongoing that B and I are working on together as well.

Do You Outline: Not usually for one-shots, but like, I ran into a real problem with say you will where I kept thinking of scenes that needed to be added and having to write them, and there were a couple of scenes that I had to sort of Frankenstein in because I’d written them early on and I wanted to include them real bad but they didn’t “technically” fit anywhere (I wonder if readers can tell lol). So I try to outline for long-running stuff because if I don’t it just goes extremely off the rails.

Coming Soon / Not Yet Started: I am in the middle of two right now: a Star Wars Jannah/Rose horse girls fic where they bond while riding orbaks and also kiss, and Halt and Catch Fire Donna/Cameron where Donna drags Cam to a PFLAG meeting to try and figure out how to talk to her lesbian daughter and everyone thinks they’re a couple (spoiler: they don’t know they are yet). These are the random gay shit detours I mentioned earlier. More on brand, I have at least one more Terminator porn in my brain and also a fluffy one where Grace proposes to Dani and Carl officiates their wedding. OH I FORGOT i was supposed to write a Charlie’s Angels 2019 fic where Sabina brought home a dog and the other two were like ????. I feel like that one will be pretty easily once I just sit down and do it because their voices seem pretty straightforward

Do You Accept Prompts: Um, I’m not like...I don’t want to say I’ll never do prompts, I once wrote Steve/Bucky as quarterback/cheerleader AU because my friend asked me to. But I don’t typically solicit them. The shit I like writing is usually way too random for people to think of lol.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited To Write: This is a someday-fic, but I swear I will write an epic redemption story for my beloved monster child Ruby Hale where she lives and becomes the Zuko of the group and also Daisy’s weird little protege and she and Elena are never like, close, and Elena doesn’t have to forgive her, and that’s okay. I just feel like they set her up as a perfect Ward foil and then really dropped the ball.

tagging uhhhh @unwind-myself @swashbucklery @amidalleia @allofthefeelings I forget which of my friends write fanfic anymore lololol if I tag you in this and you don’t VERY SORRY MY BAD also like, if you want to do this and pretend I tagged you please do!

[szopenhauer]

What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? I doubt that I’ll fall asleep tonight but if it happens then I want to sleep in

Have you ever been in an ambulance? twice Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? I prefer to buy them myself but I don’t like to travel lol Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? I hate them and they hate me back Do you try to stay busy a lot? define busy Do you lie a lot? nah, I exaggerate tho Do you still act childish most of the time? yup Did you ever enjoy gym class? yep What is your biggest insecurity? look? my skin  What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? my cellphone Do people consider you to be a funny person? yeah Do you have any bad habits? sure Do you like children? nooo If not, why is this? many reasons Do you own any gaming systems? I only play PC/ online/android apps How old were your parents when they had you? in their 30s Is there a big age difference between you and the person you date? there's barely any difference Does the future excite you or scare you? scares me Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? yes What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? we’ll see What is your favorite movie from the nineties? hard choice Which decade were you born in? 90s XD Are you good at giving advice to people? I am but they don’t listen Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? wouldn’t say so Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? me, I make myself feel useless because I am useless  Do you like texting or calling people more? texting Do you have a lot of friends? I have  no friends Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? meh Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? stay in Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I don’t attract them Where is your favorite place to travel? nowhere What is your goal for the next few months? working on my health issues mostly Do you own a lot of shoes? just a few pairs Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? sweatpants Do you think you have a good sense of style? I have my own sense of style but I head I’m good with accessorising Do you enjoy reading often? occassionally only Have you ever had a deadly illness? sigh... Where did you last eat dinner at? finally home

have you ever been invited to a tacky-christmas-sweater party? I like tacky sweaters but I dislike parties what is the biggest turn off to you? penis

when was the last time you had a nightmare? recently where do you see yourself in ten years? dead if you had the chance to re-do the past six months…would you do it? maybe does your family have traditions? some sort of have you ever had a horrible school picture? I’m ugly whose voice will never fail to get on your nerves? hmm... do you sleep on your stomach, side or back? definitely not my back would you ever take up a job in photography? don’t think so

Do you find it hard to believe that a dinosaur was once right where u are? kinda

What is your favourite part of the movie “The Lion King”? Timon and Pumba moments

Do you knock before entering someone’s room? of course

Would you freak out if you saw a spider crawling on you right now? one was crawling on me today twice and I didn’t freak out

Have you ever used a tanning bed? hell no Do you think people will eventually stop believing in God? :o

Have you ever been go-cart racing? I have not

How many jobs have you had in your life? it’s complicated but I’d say zero

Does your shower have a door or curtains? we have bath

Are you good at remembering names? am really bad at it

Have you ever walked the opposite direction on an escalator? noooo

When making pancakes, do you try to make cool shapes/pictures? I don’t cool

Opinions on Channing Tatum? blergh

Do you use your hand when you’re explaining something? it’s possible

Do you still live in your home town? I do indeed

Where do you apply cologne or perfume? -

What about your look makes it your signature ‘you’ look? childish stuff, leggings, funny quotes on T-shirts...

Do you have an innie or outie? innie

Do you type quickly or slowly? very fast

Have you ever been addicted to a game? for a short time period

How long do you spend getting ready every day? minutes

How many cavities do you have? lots

Do you take surveys hoping someone will see your answers or just ‘because’? just because

What diet could you never do? vegan

What kind of toothpaste do you like? none

What would you never do, for all the money in the world? sell my soul

Is the grass greener on the other side? it’s probably fake 

who picks the music when you’re riding in the car? driver

do you know anyone who regularly uses a bike for transportation? my uncle

do you consider audio books not really reading? it’s listening

strangest thing you’ve ever put in the trunk of a car? wtf

do you carry matches or a lighter? I own a lighter but I don’t carry either around

do you keep socks with a hole in them if they are your favorites? ^^” 

last time you wore clothes that were too small on you. I wear oversized

have you ever had something taken away from you by airport security? luckily not

something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? personal

do you store any non food items in the fridge? cosmetics (my mom does, not me)

have you ever told a friend you thought their parent was hot? not applicable

have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? don’t do that!

plain band aids or fun ones? plain

which pain killer do you use? time 

have you ever borrowed underwear from a friend? disgusting, cringe

last pair of shoes you threw out? my red martens? 

have you ever thrown anything up to hang on the power/phone lines? I’m not stupid

do you pay attention to people’s posture? rarely

could you happily survive in a world without music? if I was born in it then 100% but if it stopped existing now then I’d be sad, still survive  has anyone ever revealed one of your secrets to another person? more than once if you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? this question today...

what do you often assume about other people? that they’re evil, more or less

do you recall the first time that you learned the truth about sex? middle school? how do you hold/position your pillow while you sleep? dunno how to explain that what kind of environment do you need to be able to sleep? not fresh pajama/sheets, smth under my chest/lungs lately, arm under a small pillow, light until I feel sleepy enough to turn it off, not wanting to eat or pee anymore as it bothers me, preferably no noise and strong smells too, alone, pajama, socks when it’s cold... have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? ewww, feet are gross have you ever farted, but tried to pass it off as someone else? as smth else*

why do you use foul language, if you do? it helps like punching something

is there a type of candy that you do not like? most of candies is there anything about which you are consistently paranoid? sadly rank your life based on percentage spent happy, and percentage spent sad: 99% unhappy?...

Would you rather date someone opposite from you or the same as you? similar

Do you own any band merch? I wish 

Do you like Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit? LOTR but not Hobbit

Do you usually regret things you did or things you didn’t do more? things I did

Do you prefer shopping with friends or by yourself? depends

If you had a parrot, what would be the first word you would teach it? hello/hi

What food did you eat the most lately? white bread

What do you want your wedding song to be? our song

True/False : If it’s meant to be, it will be. hopefully true

what’s something you want but will probably never get? health

Do you get embarrassed when your stomach growls in class? that is sooo awkward

Do you think tattoos are hot? I don’t mind some

When did you last play Monopoly? this year?

Do you love food more than you love people? I don’t like food nor ppl

True or False: you this read wrong I read this right, you written it wrong

Do you think underwater pictures look cool? creepy

What is the most ridiculous law you ever heard about? there was this guy who broke some ridiculous laws in England 

[kumeko]

Title: the act of living

A/N: For lynndyre, for a lotr exchange! I’m not happy about the first two pieces in this fic, but I think the rest came out decently enough. :/ I really liked the prompt of post-canon, of what comes after, and making it bitter but also hopeful.

…

…

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…

i. Gondor

 Despite all the damage to it, Gondor stood strong. It had always done so; years of facing enemy after enemy had weathered it into a resilient place, capable of shaking off injury and keeping a united front. Its people were even more so, their faces as sturdy as the stone that made the city.

 This was a comforting thought when directed at their enemies. Less so when it was directed at himself. There were many ways Aragorn thought the people of Gondor would treat him but even the cool indifference of a stranger would have been preferred to the harsh front to an intruder. It was even more apparent when Aragorn rode through the streets, surveying the damage with Faramir and Pippin. As their horses trotted slowly down the winding streets, as they catalogued the various repairs they had to make, Aragorn could feel his people’s eyes on him. For the most part, their gaze was hard, their lips thin, jaw set. The occasional citizen would give him a tentative smile and wave, but the overwhelming feeling was this:

 Who are you to rule us?

A fair question, perhaps. It wasn’t like he’d grown up here, it wasn’t like they were expecting the king to return. It wasn’t fair to just push him forward as a king in the middle of a war and expect everything to be fine after. Not that Aragorn was sure what he was expecting; he had never wanted this position in the first place.

“It’s not that bad,” Pippin chirped. Seated in front of Aragorn, he glanced up at him. For a moment, Aragorn thought the hobbit had read his mind. “It’ll take a little muscle and spit, but we’ll clean it all up.”

 Ah, that made more sense. His friend had thought his dark mood was over the destruction. However clumsy it was, Aragorn was grateful for Pippin’s kindness and he smiled. “Certainly.”

 “The people of Gondor are not one to back away from a challenge,” Faramir said from his right. He sat straight on his horse and while there was still something ghostly about him, he looked proud. “We have weathered attacks before. This will be no different.”

 “Really?” Pippin furrowed his brows, disbelief on his face. “You guys have fought orcs and wraiths and all of that?”

 “Well, perhaps nothing that bad,” Faramir admitted with a chuckle.

 “Thought so.” Pippin snorted derisively. “No way anyone can just rebuild after all that.” He gestured at a pile of rubble nearby, soldiers and local citizens creating a chain as they shifted giant rocks to a wooden cart. “Not without a lot of help.”

 “Fortunately the elves are assisting,” Faramir answered, glancing at Aragorn with a wry smile. “They said to consider it a wedding present of sorts.”

 Aragorn’s eyes widened slightly. “Arwen.” He glanced at the clean up crew once more. Now that he was paying attention, he could see the odd elf in the group, examining the debris and finding the right rock to move next.  The folk regarded the elves warily but begrudging accepted the assistance. “How long have they been here?”

 “Over a week.” Faramir smiled wryly. “It was a little odd at first but the people have come around to it now.”

 “Have they?” Aragorn glanced at Pippin and thought of Boromir. Of Legolas and Gimli. The oddest of companions that were now the closest of friends. There were things that you could only learn by working next to someone, to watching them toil away with you. He tightened his grip on his reins, pulling his horse to a stop.

 “Huh?” Pippin thudded against his chest at the sudden stop. Bemused, he stared up. “See something?”

 “More of a realization.” Aragorn slipped off his mount. “I’ll go help out.”

 He was never the sort to watch from a distance anyways. Aragorn had gotten this far through hard work. This kingship would be no different.

    ii. Rohan

 “Wow.” Merry stared at the garlands strung up around the Meduseld, his eyes wide with wonder.

 “Unexpected, isn’t it?” Eowyn chuckled, amused by her companion’s amazement. To be perfectly honest, she had looked the same earlier. It had been too long since flowers lined the halls of her forefathers, since the cold grey had been washed over with warmth of a blaze and good company. The trifecta of loss, a poisonous influence, and war had left her home less than it ought to have been.

 Now, finally, it was returned to its former glory.  

 “Yeah, I didn’t think you guys even had flowers,” Merry chirped, examining a wreath on the wall. There was a long silence and then his ears burned a bright red as he realized what he’d said. Turning around, fidgeted nervously. “Not that that’s a bad thing—it looked very noble before—we just have a lot of flowers—”

 Eowyn laughed, cutting him off as he cycled through excuses. “No, no, it is understandable. We haven’t had flowers in here for a long time.”

 “Oh.” Feeling relieved, Merry smoothened down his shirt with a pleased smile. “It looks good.”

 “We’re celebrating our harvest and the end of the war, so I thought we could brighten the place.” Eowyn gestured at the torches that lit up every few metres, ensuring that no darkness pervaded her home. It felt a lot more like it did when she was younger, when her brother used to chase her through these halls and her uncle…

 She paused at the thought. He would have liked how it looked, praised her with his gentle smile and kind words.

 Eowyn wished she could have seen it. That he could have seen this. Loss, she found, sprung up in the most unexpected of places and every time it took her breath away.

 Unaware of her shifting emotions, Merry replied, “So this isn’t everyday? We have flowers everywhere at home, so it’s strange to find places without it.”

 He was smiling up at her, bright and unassuming, and Eowyn shook herself out of her thoughts. Her uncle wouldn’t want her to linger, the way he had lingered over her cousin’s death. The best way to honour him was to keep moving forward. Looking down, Eowyn asked “Is that so? I have never seen that many flowers.”

 “Well, not everywhere everywhere—definitely not on the toilets cause that’s weird but everywhere else.” Merry stroked his chin thoughtfully. “And maybe not on the paths. The proper ones, that is—the ones that we aren’t supposed to take are chock full of weeds.”

 “The ones that get you in trouble?” Eowyn teased, having heard plenty of stories about angry farmers and vegetables.

 “It’s only trouble if you get caught!” Merry retorted, crossing his arms. “And I almost never get caught.”

 “Hmm, I wonder about that.” Eowyn chuckled. Every description Merry gave of his homeland gave a warm impression. It sounded like place that would produce such wonderful hobbits, such wonderful heroes. “Perhaps I should see for myself?”

 Even Farmer Maggot sounded fun to meet. Especially since she wouldn’t be robbing him.

    iii. Mirkwood

“I did not expect you to come all the way here,” Thrandruil drawled, each word carefully articulated as though each one was a jab from one of his guard’s spears. Walking through a well-maintained path in Mirkwood, his gaze was ever upward, giving one the impression he was barely paying attention to his companion.

 Celeborn knew better than to fall for that. Thrandruil was always alert to his surroundings, however he might act, and it would take one wrong word, one false step to be barred from returning to the forest elves’ realm. “I heard the forest had cleared and thought it was a good time to visit.”

 That wasn’t a lie—the forest was brighter than it had been in centuries. The spiders were finished, their webs burned through, and starlight once more graced the elves as they frolicked in the night. Mirkwood was beautiful again.

 “It has,” Thranduil admitted with a regal nod of his head. His brow furrowed and scornfully he added, “Though it is the age of man, so who knows how long this shall last.”

 “So many elves have departed these days,” Celeborn sighed. “Lothlórien feels emptier these days, as does Rivendell.”

 “As expected. They were never tied to the land like we are,” Thrandruil spit out, contemptuous. “I am only surprised they didn’t leave earlier.”

 He should have expected that remark. Despite the time that had passed, Thrandruil’s pride was infamous and it seemed nothing could change that. “You aren’t going to answer the call?”

 “One day, maybe.” Thrandriul shrugged dismissively. “Perhaps when my son is tired of playing with dwarves and the sea. Until then, this is my kingdom and I will not abandon it while it still stands.”

 “As expected.” Celeborn chuckled. “Galadriel is also considering leaving.”

 “And you?” Thrandruil looked at him now, his brow raised curiously. “What will you do?”

 “I will join her.” Celeborn clasped his hands behind him, looking up at the starlight through the trees. It glinted off nearby goblets and here still the sound laughter and life existed. “But not for some time. Lothlórien has lost its shine and diminished. Rivendell is a tomb.” He glanced at Thrandruil. “Is there room for another here?”

 Thrandruil smiled.

    iv. Rivendell

“You look worn, old friend.” Elrond didn’t look up as Gandalf stood next to him. Despite the physical changes underwent, his voice remained ever the same, as did the comfort in his presence. “What troubles you?”

 “Things that are beyond my control.” Elrond sighed. Standing on a terrace, he watched from a distance as his daughter read a book on a bench. How much longer would he be able to witness that sight? How much longer could he just simply open his mouth and call her?

 “Ah.” Gandalf studied her for a long moment before shaking his head. “You made your choice long ago. And though you do not want to admit it, so had she.”

 “I should have realized it the moment they met.” Elrond frowned, closing his eyes. “I had hoped otherwise. Her path will be a painful one, a long one, and there will be no one to comfort her in the end.”

 “You are not staying then?” Gandalf asked, his brow raised.

 “No, I do not think I can bear to see her hair grow white. And I do not want my sons to change their mind because of their love for the Dúnedain. Besides, already the world is changing.” Elrond smiled wistfully. “There is no room for our kind anymore. It is better to accept it and leave now.” Before their images of the world was tarnished, before he could see the old places wrought with ruin. He had seen what man made, what man could do, and while there were great creations, there were more often than not ruinous. Only the dwarves could match them for greed.

 “Then fret not.” Gandalf squeezed his shoulder. “There are others here to comfort her. Thrandruil—” Elrond snorted. “—I know you do not like him, but he and Celeborn will still be here when her time comes. She will not go alone, forgotten and unloved.”

 Elrond glanced at Gandalf. “And you?”

 “Perhaps.” Gandalf only smiled mysteriously. “I cannot say where I will be or not in the years to come.”

 “Father!” Before Elrond could question him further, Arwen waved to him, a smile on her face.

 There would be plenty of time to interrogate a dodgy wizard in the future. For now, he wanted to soak in every moment with Arwen he could. There would be so few of them and his years too long after.

    v. Shire

It was strange how empty the Baggins’ home was. Samwise had taken care of it for years and had helped his father for it even longer. It had been customary to find white-haired Bilbo in the gardens, writing the next page of his manuscript. Or Frodo puttering about, laughing about the latest prank Merry and Pippin had pulled.

 Now the gardens ran wild, left unattended during their mission. That was something Sam could fix. Something he would fix.

 Something he couldn’t do anything about was how silent the rooms inside were. No fire crackled in the hearth, inviting one to rest their feet and stay a spell. There was no welcoming greeting when the door opened, no soft swear from trying to open a too tight jar of walnuts. Just complete and utter silence.

 Sam stood at the foyer, not sure if he should go further in or not. It had been one thing when Frodo had left him the key to the place, another thing entirely to use it. He could just sell it but Frodo’s history, his own history was too deeply tied to it.

 What to do?

 What to do?

 Sam took a deep breath. The air smelled musty from disuse. Frodo wasn’t here anymore. He was across the sea with the elves. A place Sam could go, if he wanted to. Another decision he wasn’t ready to make. Pulling out the key, he quickly slipped out of the hole and locked it behind him.

 Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d figure out what he wanted to do with this place. To do with himself.

 Today Rosie was at the pub and Merry and Pippin would be back from their travels and he could just soak in the act of living.

[celtfather]

St Patrick's Day Leprechaun #203

Happy St Patrick’s Day! There's a leprechaun in this week's show. We'll practice social distancing through podcasts. Plus, the St Patrick’s Day Internet Music Festival is sort of back with lots of live streaming video shows!

Welcome to the Pub Songs Podcast, the Virtual Public House for Celtic Geek culture. I am your Guide. My name is Marc Gunn. Today’s show is brought to you by my Gunn Runners on Patreon. Subscribe to the podcast at PubSong.net.

WHO'S PLAYING IN THE PUB TODAY

0:09 - SONG - “The Leprechaun” from St Patrick’s Day Songs for Kids

3:11 - WELCOME

-- Kickstarter for Selcouth raised $8834. Thank you!

-- #8 artists on Reverbnation. Scythian is #4

-- Check my blog Free St Patrick’s Day music blog!

-- There’s a 2-Hour St Patrick’s Day episode of the podcast. Lots of great music. In particular, check out Vicki Swan & Jonny Dyer, Stringer’s Ridge Band, and The Selkie Girls. Plus, there’s last week’s 17 for St Patrick’s Day. You can download all 17 Celtic MP3s for free.  Subscribe to the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast.

-- A whole bunch of St Patrick’s Day events were canceled this year. Everyone who loves St Patrick’s Day is a bit bummed. I thought about reviving my St Patrick’s Day Internet Music Festival. It was a fun event. But I don’t have the time this year. I have Daddy Daycare duty. Fortunately, Lady Susan of Thunder on the Plains decided to organize a  St Patrick’s Day fest of her own. She calls it LemonAid - St. Patrick's Day Virtual Festival. There are two stages: Instagram and Facebook. The shows start at noon central and go til 9 PM.

-- Of course that’s not all of the free St Paddy’s Day concerts. Also check out: The Gothard Sisters, Barleyjuice, Tiffany Schaefer, SeaStar, The Selkie Girls. If you know of anyone else, please post in the comments or in our Facebook group.

-- Free St Patrick’s Day CD Offer.

-- Updated lyrics for songs: Happy Birthday From Ireland, St Patrick Never Drank, Finnegan’s Wake

7:43 - PUB CHAT: What is Sci F’Irish to you?

Chat in the pub. What are you doing today while listening to the Pub Songs Podcast? Send a written comment along with any pictures to marc@marcgunn.com. Use the hashtag #pubsongs in the subject of your email or chat in the Celtic Geeks group on Facebook.

9:36 - UPCOMING SHOWS

MAR 26: Tucker Brewing Company, Tucker, GA @ 6:30 PM

Every Weds 10:30 AM EDT: Coffee with The Celtfather on Facebook

11:26 - SONG: “Isn’t It Grand, Boys” from Happy Songs of Death and “Isn’t It Grand to Be Walking Undead” from Sci Fi Drinking Songs

13:51 - SONG: “Red, Red, & Black” from Happy Songs of Death

If you enjoyed this episode of Stories from the Road, join the Gunn Runners Club on Patreon. You get first access to new music and once a week, you will enjoy a very personal look at the thoughts and stories behind the songs.

Your support pays for the production and promotion of my music and the podcast, and it pays for my time in producing the show. You’ll get it all for as little $5 per month. Learn more on Patreon. Follow the link at marcgunn.net.

Special thanks to my newest patrons: Special thanks to my newest patrons: Jason D, Karen C, Max M, Leslie M, Tim S, Sarah C, Catherine Masterson

17:56 - SONG: "Tough Times" from Selcouth

TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS. Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through its culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos. We’re going to Scotland in 2021. Join the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/

If you enjoy the music in this show, support the artists. Buy their music and merch. Follow them on Spotify. Let them know how much you love what they are doing. And tell a friend.

21:36 - SONG - "Furagone's Wake" from Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers

Pub Songs Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn. To subscribe, go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or to my website where you can subscribe to my mailing list. I’ll email you regular updates of new music and podcasts, special offers, and you’ll get 21 songs for free. Welcome to the pub at www.pubsong.net!

#pubsongs #leprechaun #stpatricksday

PUB CHAT

What are your Sci F’Irish fandoms?

Karen Cox said: "so just SciFi not fantasy (because we know what that answer is, mellon nin) Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune"

She then added: "For Gondor!" I'll include Lord of the Rings."

Sarah Crockett: "Firefly, Lexx, Mandalorian, Dune

Matt Hughes wrote: "Star Wars, Star Trek, MCU, DCEU, Dr. Who, Firefly, LOTR, Harry Potter, and more than I can think of right now.

Karen Mitchell Carothers: "Star Trek, Harry Potter... Supernatural can count, right? The Expanse. Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time books (still working through first read). And anything steampunk (which ties back to the Irish/Celtic/UK)

Sharon Powers wrote: "Hmm... The Last Unicorn, all things Tolkien, Star Wars, Star Trek TNG & Picard (working on the rest ??), possibly The Witcher (enjoyed the Netflix show; interested in the rest), Robin McKinley’s Deerskin, Harry Potter, Firefly, Supernatural, Michael Green’s Quest lore, The Secret of Kells... I’m doubtless missing plenty but that’s a fair start. ??

Allan Marcotte shared: "Tolkien, Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, Twilight Zone, The Night Stalker TV series, X Files, Grimm, Warehouse 13"

Bill McKissack: "Dr. Who, lotr, arrowverse, star wars, star trek, warehouse 13, mtg, various anime, and much more

Pat Bowne: "The Crock of Gold."

Carol Baril shared: "Doctor Who, Star Wars, Firefly, Marvel (especially Captain Marvel, Black Widow, Guardians of the Galaxy), Godzilla and all things dinosaurs (think Jurassic Park and World)! When I was a kid, loved Dark Shadows (boy I'm giving my age away)!"

Miranda Nelson: "Doctor Who, Firefly, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Supernatural, Song of the Sea

Rob Wilson: "Doctor who, firefly, Harry potter, lotr, star trek, star wars, Dresden files, star gate, various flavors if eastern fantasy."

  Check out this episode!

[blankdblank]

In the Boot Pt 7

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6

All –, @pineapple-banana-pie

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars

Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim, @jotink78

X Thranduil - @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @tigereyesf

.

Arriving home came just in time, as you calmed one of Moose’s worst tantrums and led him and Felienne out on a long ride trying not to cry as you read through the hornets nest of emails you had been receiving. Finally losing that battle by the edge of the lake drawing the curious swans to huddle around you as you wept against your bent legs and arms holding them against you. Behind you a sigh sounded and you melted back against Elmo’s chest in his arms circling you tightly. “I just got off the phone with Nimloth. She has been hearing the brunt of your mother’s complaints. All of which I assure you will stop. I called her myself and she has no right to demand you break your oath to Yavanna.”

His lips met your forehead and you wiped your cheeks, “I just don’t understand why this maters to her, we’ve never met.”

Elmo sighed and rested his cheek on top of your head, “All those names on her list are related to families that could aid in her return to a better position.”

Your head tilted back to catch his eyes, “Better position?”

“Her One, was a curate. She eloped. Didn’t find out until after that by casting you off and marrying down she forfeit her title and rights to Thingol’s throne.” Your lips parted and he wiped the stray tear rolling down your cheek, “Had you chosen from her list she would at least be a Lady again. However, I have told her that you are not a bartering chip, and if she harms you again, and Thingol is in complete agreement with me on this, she will be docked from our family tree. Thingol has agreed to shift you as my Daughter legally if need be. Your heart and choice for a family is supported by all of us Lady Bug.” He kissed your forehead again, “I am so sorry you have had to tolerate this painful nonsense.”

You shook your head, “I should have told her off years ago.”

Elmo chuckled at one of the swans peering up at his loose curls melting against yours brightly, “Care to ride a bit more? I hear Moose is the friendliest for guests and is in need of a rider.” You chuckled again and accepted his help to your feet and climbed back onto Felienne’s saddle while he climbed onto Moose’s, noting his elated trot at having a rider as well.

.

A week had passed with little news from Thranduil finding you after each dinner alone at home you would sit listening to Elanor’s messages growing closer to a forced tolerance until the final one saying simply, “I hope you realize one day just what you’ve done.”

Another tear rolled down your cheek and you mumbled, “Same to you” while you poured yourself a mug of tea and walked back to your bedroom forcing yourself not to glance at the closed door to your guest room now sitting empty and walked into your bathroom to shut off the tap to your now full tub, strip then sink into the warm water. With an early start ahead the next day you had to go straight to bed once you were dried off, pulling on a simple shirt over your boy shorts to wrap around your pillow and force yourself to sleep. Fittings for your dress for the wedding were in the morning while the final fitting for your brother’s suits would also be finished for the wedding at the end of the week. Sleeplessly you laid there remembering your last night wrapped in your Prince’s arms while your heart ached to be so far way from his adorable son you could still feel nestled in your arms.

The rising moon eventually brightened the room and an engine died outside your cottage, in a confused roll over you grabbed the shorts in the cubby under your night table and tugged them on as you heard doors open then close in what seemed to be quiet attempts. Through your house you walked matching the boot steps on your front porch as you neared your front door and cracked it open revealing the exhausted Prince and Legolas red faced pouting about ready to cry. Weakly he forced an exhausted smile saying, “I actually managed to get him down, until we hit that last bumpy path.”

Unlatching the screen door you let them in and accepted the boy reaching out for you with a kiss to his temple in his melt against your chest with an irritated grumble for being woken. Behind you Thranduil closed and latched the screen door and the solid door behind it that locked easily. In your turn at the dropping of his bags Thranduil’s hand eased into your hair and his lips found yours hungrily while the other smoothed across your back. Around the dozing child in your arms he melted stealing what contact with you he could while ensuring his son wouldn’t be stirred or dropped for the few moments until your lips broke apart and his forehead pressed to yours.

Softly you said, “You seem tired.”

He let out an exhausted chuckle, “Legolas has barely slept without you, same with me. I’ve filled up all my traveling engagements and I was granted the next two weeks off completely. I hoped I could stay here, during which my cottage on the palace grounds is being renovated, after which I hoped you might come back out with me? Please? I swear it’s only day meetings and trips within our borders, any other traveling jobs I have asked Ada to arrange it so we have a suite or joined rooms if possible.”

“You would, want me to, tag along?”

He sighed, “I would wish for you to always be near me, so the three of us could manage a full night of sleep. At least until you have to work again, when, hopefully I could manage to spend a majority of my time at either cottage with you. It tore at me mercilessly when I heard you were left alone and worse again when you had returned.”

Reaching up you cupped his cheek stealing another kiss then said, “We should sleep. I have a fitting in the morning.”

Thranduil nodded and bent to collect his bags, “I brought a few options as well, depending on what you all have chosen.” Leaving one pack of food for Legolas in the fridge for later. Through the hall he followed then grinned at the simple crib at the edge of the bed you settled Legolas into then climbed onto the bed to climb back into your former spot while he set down his bags and removed his boots and jacket. Wetting his lips he climbed onto the bed to your side and eased under the covers to hold you in his arms warmly under the covers, choosing to give you time to think over his offer.

Sunrise eventually lit the room and you split up, him hurrying to get the boy changed and fed while you readied for the day. At your side he stood helping all he could to prep breakfast one handed then ate and cleaned up then hurried to change while you held and snuggled with Legolas. The drive went easily enough once the car seat was transferred to Rumil’s van.

Pale blue dress robes were fitted seamlessly over your brothers while you wore the customary pale pink silk gown with a lace cape covering your shoulders, upper chest and upper arms that hung down to the ground behind you. Perfectly it fit you and in Thranduil’s mind fit well with his usual silver robes he had brought.

The days seemed to blow by and the lavish affair with it. Out in the middle of a flowering orchard the simple yet elegant ceremony went off seamlessly and signaled the splitting of your family. The loving couple was off on their honeymoon tour while Haldir raced off to work and as agreed you joined the Princes back to Southern Greenwood to see this cottage of his he swore had ample enough room for Felienne and Moose should you agree.

…

All the way back on the train again you sat wondering what would classify as a cottage, yours was the smallest on your grounds with five spare bedrooms, one that had been turned into a study. The largest being Haldir’s with twenty bedrooms that could easily be swapped for offices or lounges making it the best choice for Elmo and his family. All in the shadows of the ruined castle that had cheapened the price of the land greatly after the war. A castle Elmo and Rumil agreed to start inspecting to see if any of it was still stable or if they would have to start from the ground up in rebuilding it. A task far easier seeing as Orophin had just married one of the grand nieces to the King of Erebor, daughter of a stone mason dynasty with connections to great sculptors and smiths that could easily garner trade between the kingdoms.

Again you were met by a line of cars that drove you the last of the way straight to the so called cottage. Out in the middle of a 35 acre patch of land sat the pink and white marvel with a pale grey roof. Inhaling deeply you eased your hands over your mouth in silent reflection while Thranduil lifted Legolas to his chest from the car seat while a set of servants carried your bags inside. In his turn to you your hands lowered and you pointed at the obvious manor, “Cottage?” A smirk twisted onto his face, “And um, just how many rooms does this cottage of yours have?”

“Well, there are 17 entertaining halls,”

You nodded whispering to yourself, “17..”

Widening his smirk as his eyes locked on yours playfully, “With 25 guest rooms, not counting the Lord’s chambers, abutting the Lady’s. All with a fully stocked kitchen and pantry, a lake in the back complete with floating gazebo and a stable I ensured would be fully suitable for your horses.”

You nodded and asked, “Let me guess, your Ada insisted on fully staffing it?”

He chuckled and moved closer to you shaking his head, “No. A team of maids will arrive on weekends to help tidy up and biweekly trips from a team of groundskeepers and gardeners, however we will be tasked in the daily care, a system I prefer. Something closer to your home.” He wet his lips, “Does it suit your preference as well? It even has ample space for our security teams.”

Your head tilted and you asked, “So are you going to show me this supposed ‘cottage’ of yours?”

He chuckled moving closer to cup your cheek and purr just inches from your lips, “Ours.” A gentle kiss was all he claimed then he folded his hand in yours and showed you inside, each room as lavish as the last. Giggling at the plain description he gave of each room eventually left him chuckling and guiding you out to the garden for the end of the tour to a preset picnic he set Legolas down for allowing him to spread out for a nap on a pile of spare blankets as you cuddled and chatted, sharing the simple meal. Clouds rolling in signaled your need to clear up and head inside where he led you up to his room to put Legolas in his crib and turned to pick you up and carry you to the couch to watch something on tv.

For hours you held one another and napped until the growl in your stomach stirred Thranduil. Gently he eased out from under you and went down to the kitchen to fix dinner, though in what he hoped to be a welcome wake up for you was spoiled by a ring form your pocket. Quickly you pulled your phone out and answered the call before Legolas woke from it and not two minutes later, after you’d changed the grumbling Prince Thranduil was back again.

“I hoped I’d be the one to wake you, Darling.” Crossing the room to cup your cheek for a loving kiss, “Has he been awake long?”

You shook your head, “No. Just a couple minutes, though I did get an interesting call.”

“Oh?” He asked playfully making you narrow your eyes at him in return.

“Yes, my old hospital called, apparently the maternity ward in Haven hospital out here in Southern Greenwood has an opening they need filled in two weeks. Conveniently when my vacation is up. You wouldn’t have happened to have made a call?”

He shook his head, “Of course not, my Darling. I would never stoop to such measures.”

In turning to guide you back to the kitchen again you playfully asked back, “So it was your Ada then?”

With a chuckle Thranduil replied, “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

“Mhmm…” Thranduil shifted closer to you easing his arm around your back, “Well you should know, my horses are arriving by train in a couple hours. They will need ample consoling to make up for the move.”

Chuckling again he replied, “I look forward to it. Naneth was wanting to drop by for some time with Legolas anyways.”

“I should warn you though?” He glanced at you, “A great number of swans refused to let them come alone, one of which being Morko.”

With furrowed brows he asked, “Morko, which one is Morko?”

You giggled replying, “Oh, he’s the oldest swan in the bunch.”

He glanced down at you with a curious grin at your smirk, “And?”

“He’s just over nine feet tall,” raising his brow in shock, “At the shoulders.” His mouth fell open and you giggled again, “I told you, they grow rather large on our lands.”

“Is he the largest?”

“Nope.” You giggled again, “I hope your Ada likes swans.”

“Either way if he objects I would love to see him fight them off.” Making you both giggle at the image.”

[tumblunni]

Okay.. like.. man... Shadow of Mordor.. why... why you tease me... There is literally a rival personality in this game that says ‘we are soulmates’ and ‘I didn’t know the human fiend would be this beautiful’ and ‘I savor our moments together’ and talks about having a beautiful spring marriage?? And from the tone of the voiceacting it seems uhh.. rather more likely that all these ambiguously gay orcs are supposed to be there for the ‘funny’ and the ‘eww disgusting i want to kill him even faster’ That’s the intended reaction Somehow Absolutely no intended aspect of ‘oh my god why in the fuck does the engine make me fight this man who wants to smooch my protagonist, what did he ever do wrong’ HOW DID THEY NOT PREEMPT THIS???

seriously its so WEIRD there are like ten different types of ‘friendly rival’ personality that don’t even act like they want to fight and then they fight and at least the regular friendly one has dialogue like ‘ha he’s actually a sneaky bastard who’s just saying he’ll surrender to make you let your guard down’ none of that for the flirtman none of that for the TWO DIFFERENT DIALOGUE SETS OF FLIRTMAN, WITH VARYING DEGREES OF HOMOPHOBIA just A Man Exists And Says You Are Handsome, Now Kill

and like the only reason it’s left in this weird Ambiguous Space Of Maybe Bad Or Not is because well you have to kill everyone else too, and everyone else is also supposed to be comic relief and seen as repulsive and killable but still its really awkward and still I feel SO FRUSTRATED because how the fuck did the developers not think this was endearing!! that it would make people feel bad killing him!! that people would want some sort of alternate option!! involving actual orc marriage!! WHERE IS MY ORC MARRIAGE!!

and also there’s like only two female characters in the entire world, your uncharacterized wife who dies in the prologue just to provide a reason why you kill the orcs, and an equally personalityless love interest for a side character who exists to be damsel in distress sidequest time so like the evidence of protagonist being heterosexual is rather flimsy he has no chemistry with this woman and then she dies immediately and then he goes like 80 hours before even seeing another woman ORC RIVAL MAN HAS SO MUCH MORE CHEMISTRY HOLY SHIT YOU’RE LIKELY TO ENCOUNTER MORE GAY ORCS IN THIS GAME THAN WOMEN

and seriously all the moral questionableness of the damn plot! lots of people have said it better in more detaield reviews but seriously it was a bad choice to give a complex personality engine to the enemies in this game and not the humans. and to have a story entirely based on ‘all orcs are evil so murder them grotesquely’ paired with gameplay that conclusively proves they absolutely aren’t heartless monsters at all. The protagonist is essentially identical to Sauron, he’s just enslaving orcs by mind control instead of like.. recruiting them. Seriously Sauron actually gives them more free will than you! But of couuuurse you don’t enslave HUMANS too, so its fiiiiiiiine....

But anyway I’m bringing that up cos I was thinking about how ORC MARRIAGE would work SO WELL with this plot and could even fix a lot of those problems! Cos like.. what if protagonist’s bloodthirstiness was actually aknowledged? What if he actually noticed that he was becoming just the same as the orcs, in the name of taking revenge on them? And what if instead of enslaving them through magical mind control, it was the logical conclusion of a warrior species respecting him for being like them? You could just win over these different warlords by defeating them in combat! It’s so simple, why didn’t they use that instead!!! And then like... you could have both good and bad orcs. And also factions of the other species too! Fight Sauron’s other minions, and even rogue factions of evil humans/dwarves/elves! And maybe the goal could be to win over the majority of the orcs and get them to leave the dark army and come join the humans, instead of just killing them. You’d be like The Fightin’ Ambassador! And naturally this would all work SUPER WELL if at the same time you were having an amazing classical love story of two men from different countries showing each other the best of both worlds, and joining together in a grand marriage symbolizing the union of the races. AND THERE WOULD BE A GRAND WEDDING AND BUNNI WOULD CRY A LOT

And also this plot could work well with adding a multiple endings aspect? Cos you could totally play it like classical LOTR and just play the orcs against each other and destroy them all, or you could join the dark side and turn against your former bretehren, or you could happy orc marriage neutral peace time. Or maybe another neutral ending that’s more like ‘protagonist fucked off and forgot all about his quest’, lol? You just become a super famous gladiator overlord amoung the orcs, and keep on fighting and boozing forever instead of actually addressing the main plot. Also like.. I don’t know super much about orc worldbuilding in LOTR yet, but wouldn’t it be cool if they were like vikings and norse mythology? i mean, that’s usually the go-to for ‘warrior race’ characters when it’s supposed to be a positive thing. or just in general it would be nice to imagine what fully rounded orc society would be like. What do they do when they’re not fighting? What sort of industries do they have? What are their houses like? What about their cuisine? Their non-battle tailoring? Or is it a big cultural concept to always wear battle gear for boasting rights/to be prepared at all times? Would that affect how they create battlewear, if it has to be comfy enough to wear 24/7? How do things work in an all male society, and also why were they created to be all male anyway? And how is their mythology and religion and stuff affected by the fact they were created? I mean it’s already just interesting enough that they were created by a dark lord yet went off and became a very autonomous society doing all sorts of other stuff for their own reasons.

also WHAT ABOUT ORC MARRIAGE I’m gonna stand by my headcanon of it being intertwined with warrior laws, like ye olde pirate matelotage. And maybe humans kinda see it the same way as that? I.e. something you can do in secret while off adventuring, because its sorta ‘lawless land’. So there might be human LGBT couples who travel to orc lands in order to get married! Big buff orc priests that can carry the entire wedding reception down the aisle! OH OH OH and just imagine orcs as that general ‘warrior race guy but good’ archetype? Like, friendly cuddly big dad who buys a beer for everyone! or the ‘stoic and obsessed with honor’ guy, like a samurai or a paladin. Imagine the whole wide variety of job classes humans get given in fantasy settings, and imagine if other races weren’t just ‘the one singular job guys who all have the same personality’

Also I like to imagine Orc Marriage Guy is the cuddly beer dad version! Maybe a bit like Brian from DDADDS? Like you’d start off having him as your rival in battle, and he seems like a stuck up gary oak guy. But then he gets a big ol giant crush on you when you prove how buff you are. Orc: Ha! I bet you can’t [extremely ridiculous challenge]! Protagonist: *extremely ridiculous challenge* Or: (OH NO HE’S HOTTTT) And it could be cute imagining protagonist being a bit oblivious to it at first, and orc guy being embarassed about expressing his feelings cos of how rude he was at first and all ‘aaaa what if he doesn’t like meeee’. So protag is totally baffled why his rival suddenly starts blushing and runs away at the speed of light. “Come back and fight me, you cur!” Totally thinks this is just ego rivalman making fun of him somehow, starts doing even more Buff Feats of Handsome to prove he’s the strongest, everything spirals into increasingly more blushing. Finally one of the warlord’s underlings is like ‘CMON BOSS, SPIT IT OUT’ and they all get together to arrange a date between the two of you. ten thousand fold army of wingmen! And you end up becoming fire forged pals and then dating and marrying but still being sort of a ‘bash brothers’ kind of thing where you’re a lil competitive but in a nice way? Like you still spar together and go on big adventures together and fight giant dragons and give them as a romantic anniversary gift to your husband. And together you are the most powerful couple in the kingdom! And adopt ten thousand underlings as your new sons. THE END

bunni gets way too invested in headcanons sorry

[polkari-seuta]

how would bangtan skyrimdan know each other? would they ever all come together for the main quests? go to each others weddings? have drunk sleepovers? have fun with bards in taverns? make gross noises when jikook or namjin or vhope are lovey-dovey? im sorry but im all for dream team badasses and i was wondering what your take on it was. 💕

Not sure how you mean how they know each other, I’m sorry. ^^;; I have a few HCs of how the sunshine line meet (and how Jimin joins them after a while because he got tired of being left out), my fic of how they meet Jungkook (and become what I dub the core four), and how they meet Yoongi. I also briefly mentioned Hobikiin with Jin as his first follower, and how Joon/Jin/Yoongi meet (I see there is some discrepancy between info in those two links but nothing we can’t fix ^^;). 

The AU is really extensive. ;.; Part of the reason this ask too so long is because I was wading through the material and… I bet I haven’t even found everything. I have a personal masterlist but I haven’t updated it in a while. ;.;

Anyway, you probably want to know about OT7 things.

I think Vhope and Jikook, after doing their separate questing, decide to come back together, and Hobi decides, hey, maybe I should check up on Jin. He randomly remembered that he owed Seokjin a few cheese wheels eons ago (oops) and figured that it was time to head back to Whiterun to say hi (and probably give him some cheese wheels–Seokjin is big on promises).

You have /more/ friends? Tae asks. Why the hell haven’t we met them?

I got… distracted? Hobi answers. He thinks it’s kind of a fair answer. After all, it’s easy to get distracted by dragons and instances and stuff.

So last Hobi hears, Jin is still with the Companions, so when they hit up Whiterun, the first place they go to is the Companions’ house. 

Namjoon is out in front of the house, sweeping (a chore that rarely ends up with him creating some sort of disaster, according to Jin), and he already knows who they are. There are so many bard songs about them nowadays that everyone recognizes them.

What are you doing here? Namjoon asks, narrowing his eyes. The core four are a bit (a lot) offended. They’ve been killing dragons! What’s with the attitude?

I’ll have you know, Hoseok starts, but Namjoon raises a hand to stop him.

Not you, he says, and points behind them. Him.

Hoseok, Tae, Jimin, and Kook turn around, and… well, seems they had a little stalker with them by the name of Yoongi.

I got bored, Yoongi tells them all with a shrug.

SO YOU FOLLOWED US?? That was Tae.

I didn’t. I just happened to be in town, too.

Coincidence or not, before they could elicit any more conversation, Seokjin bursts out the door.

Who are you yelling at this time, Joon–HOSEOK??

Hobi holds up a bag filled with cheese wheels and is like, yo!

Jin scolds him for taking so long and not writing him and this and that, but then he invites everyone in (well, Namjin are still wary about Yoongi, but Jimin and Hobi promise to keep an eye on him).

So they have dinner. The rest of the Companions were out elsewhere, so it was just the seven of them. It’s only a bit awkward, as it was the first time all seven of them are together. The conversations are light but sporadic, mostly among the core four with comments from Jin.

What actually saves them are dragons.

Let’s say there is an invasion of dragons on Whiterun. They all hear them, and they hear the screams of the citizens. Duty calls.

In short, it’s OT7 versus a whole slew of dragons in epic LOTR/Avengers style. Despite whatever differences some of them have, they all become allies in saving the town (yes, even Dark Brotherhood Yoongi. He’s warmed up to Hobi and the others–a little). Common enemies and getting each other out of harm’s way strengthens them as a whole.

I also feel like they would also come together for some of the later main quests, such as Alduin’s Bane and the last quest of the main storyline, and be present for The Fallen. 

And you probably want some fun stuff, too.

OT7 hit up the tavern after a successful defeat. Rap line, with their Bards’ College training (I’m sure I have a post of it somewhere but I can’t find it rn), are having fun improvising songs and freestyling with the bard who’s performing (with Tae trying to join in), and are basically the center of attention, while Jin and Jikook drink/eat merrily, watching them. They get along easily despite not knowing each other for a long time. 

Jimin and Jungkook are comfy, tucked against one another on the bench. They sneak little glances at each other, whispering to e/o with inside jokes Jin doesn’t understand (and probably doesn’t want to) and calls them out on being gross as shit and to take their lovey dovey-ness elsewhere.

That’s actually a great idea, Kook says, smirking.

Mm-hm, Jimin agrees. Both he and Kook stand up. Thanks. 

So our little couple fall over each other trying to get to their inn room, kissing and hugging and are basically missing for the rest of the night.

They’re my least favorite, Jin sighs dramatically, before ordering more mead and joining the rest.

(He still has fun, though)

[southernconundrum-blog]

Making a Case for 13 Going on 30.

I can still remember my Wednesday evening History of Film class in Film school. (Yes I went to film school, we can still like cheesy rom-coms) And the night my professor, a former DP for Columbia during the “golden age of film” stood in front of the entire class and proclaimed we were about to view, what most experts call the greatest film of all time. You guessed it, Citizen Kane. 

He went on to explain that what made it so great was the technicality and the innovation of it. The first film to use flashback and continuous wide shots, blah blah. I thought it was a snooze fest of straight white male nonsense. Yeah technically it’s cool they did all that with cut and paste film. I respect that shit, I do. But Citizen Kane is one of the most un-relatable stories ever. At least to me as a gay woman. It’s like the Catcher in the Rye of film. I have a hard time identifying with rich white dudes who feel like they don’t belong in a world created for and by them. If anyone actually read this blog I bet I’d get ALL the haters up in here leaving me comments about how oppressed men are now. Do it. I masturbate with male tears.

ANYWAYS. Fuck Citizen Kane in it’s boring ass face. I’m here to talk about the greatest movie of all time. The movie that is best picture every year in my heart and soul always and the one movie by which every other movie is measured. 13 Going on Motherfucking 30.

Yes it’s entertaining. Yes it’s a feel good romish-com with a cute cast. Yes it has Judy Greer. But what makes it the best? I’ll break it down for you.

CAST:

We all know about JGar and MRuff, and before we get to Judy Greer, let’s talk about the supporting cast: 

Christa B Allen 

For you true Jgar fans you’ll note that this was not Christa’s only time playing a young Jen. She also does in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (another one of my faves but more problematic). Christa’s got the looks and the chops. She’s not only a dead ringer for the younger Rink, she’s also actually a great actress. Here’s what she looks like now BTW.

Pretty fucking spot on from the casting director I’d say. So if Christa B. Allen was the homerun, Sean Marquette (young MRUFF) is the grand slam. 

Then and now:

Yeah that could be Mark Ruffalo in the early 2000′s. And Sean does a great job himself in the younger role. Moving on.

BRIE OSCAR WINNER CAPTAIN MARVEL LARSON

In a bit part with ONE freaking line. She nailed it by the way. That’s how extra this movie is. Oscar winners as basically extras.

FUN FACT THAT ONLY A PSYCHO WOULD KNOW:

When Jenna is looking at her yearbook with Matty years later, it flashes this picture of the Six Chicks:

Notice Jenna is now “practically their leader” and Brie Larson is nowhere to be found. Presumably she has already been kidnapped and is in ROOM. Too dark? Or too REAL.

ANDY FUCKING SERKIS

You can use IMDB to go through this guy’s laundry list of amazing credits. And don’t stop at Gollum in LOTR because he was basically just getting started in this bitch. He’s also an accomplished director. He plays Jenna and Lucy’s (tom-tom) boss and the editor of Poise magazine. He’s also gay bc representation in 2004 hella mattered.

KATHY BAKER (Jenna’s mom)

Where have you seen her? Bitch, everywhere. She has a staggering list of nominations and awards from film, tv and stage where she’s had a phenomenal career. My favorite roles are between that gem up there in Edward Scissorhands and the woman of many marriages in the Jane Austen Book Club. She’s a legend and she’s NOT EVEN THE STAR OF THIS FILM.

Marcia DeBonis (Jenna’s admin asst)

It’s easier to tell you what she HASN’T been in. Like Kathy Baker, she’s made a career out of small, scene stealing roles. She also has a pretty impressive career in casting. 

I’m not going do Jen and Mark because we all know all of their shit. I’m the biggest JGar fan on earth so don’t get me started, but they are obviously mega stars and I need to save some room for.......here it comes...it’s finally here...you know it was coming..and here WE. FUCKING. GO.

JUDITH THERESE EVANS GREER

If Judy BAD BITCH OF LIFE Greer is in a movie? I’m seeing it. Why? BC SHE’s in EVERY MOVIE. Judy Greer is a brilliant silky chameleon with ferrari engine precision comedic timing. I would say she ties with Melanie Lynksey for all time underrated actress in history, but I think she pushes just past her since her body of work is unbelievably large. She has done indie, rom-com, sci-fi blockbuster, you name it. She can and has done anything and everything and I love her with every sad and broken cell in my fangirl body. She doesn’t support scenes, she carries them. And the only reason you think someone else is the star is because Judy wants you to think that. There are like 2 people on this Earth I love as much as I love Judy Greer and they are basically my mom and Claire Danes. She is an angel we do not deserve sent to us straight from a place we can never know. I legitimately worry that not enough people know what a treeey zzzurrre we have in Judy. I will do whatever I can to always spread the Gospel of Greer in this flaming shit bag of a world. If you haven’t seen Addicted to Fresno, please excuse yourself from whatever meaningless nonsense you’re doing right now to go watch it. Thanks.

STORY

A perfect cast, and yes this is one, does not a good film make on it’s own (see all those shitty Gary Marshall vignette films). 

Lucky for us we also have a perfect story.  This film has everything: redemption, friendship, love, betrayal, materialism, capitalism, competition, fucking TIME TRAVEL. And a dance number to goddamn Thriller. 

This movie created the catch-phrase, “Fabuloso”, which would eventually become the best smelling cleaning product of all time. It brought back Razzles, no doubt saving that entire brand from bankruptcy. It has complicated parental relationships, complex female friendships, a pre-wedding love confession scene, an NYC fall photoshoot montage, an accidentally fall-down kiss scene, a popular high school guy now a balding loser scene, a heroine saves the magazine scene, and a Pat Benetar slumber party pillow fight. 

SETTING

NEW. MOTHERFUCKING. YORK. CITY. Is there any other place where a 30 year old can be the editor of a fashion magazine and live in an $8 million apartment???

SOUNDTRACK

I mean, you’ve got The Go-Go’s, Whitney Houston, Madonna, Billy Joel, Liz Phair, Rick Springfield, Talking Heads, Soft Cell, I COULD ON AND ON. 

CONCLUSION

I am a rom-com SLUT. I have seen all of them, but this one is the stand out. Instead of limiting Jenna to the “she falls in love and finally changes her life” trope, it explores ALL the reasons Jenna’s life went off track. Not just because she lost her best friend along the way, but because now she’s dishonest, disloyal, and though she has the trappings of the life she dreamed of, she isn’t the person she thought she would be. In fact, Matty is not even the main thread of all of it. 

The takeaway here is that being present is more important than worrying and wishing about the future.Which is actually some intense deep Buddhist shit. 

By living in the moment we’re in, we can shape our lives however we want. Jenna was so intent on creating her idea of a perfect life, that she missed what was right in front of her. When she got a glimpse of what she thought she wanted, she realized how empty it was. The money, the cool job, the $8 million apartment doesn’t mean shit when you don’t have any real connections to anyone. And is there any better moment then when she goes back to her closet birthday party, kisses Matty and slams Tom-Tom’s drink in her face and calls her a “Biatch”? NO. It’s the most satisfying moment in American cinema. 

TWO THINGS

1.This movie has 0 diversity and is 100% straight white people problems. I acknowledge it. It is problematic. I don’t know what to say. It was the time, I didn’t make the movie, and thank the lorde things are changing.

2.Lucy’s take on Poise re-branding was 100,000% better than that Abercrombie bullshit Jenna came up. Don’t @ me.

JUDY GREER 2020

[blankdblank]

Forgotten Pt 7

Prologue - Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 -

All –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars

Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim, @jotink78

X Thranduil - @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @tigereyesf​

All through the day you fended off question after question until you could finally scrub back home in your shower and barely manage to dry off and pull on your favorite black jeans and one of your nicer tank tops with a loose sheer floral shirt you tied tighter around your middle you covered with your leather jacket after pulling on your best pair of wandering wedges you’d normally wear for your after work walks to the pub when you felt like dressing up. Answering your door you brushed your hair back with a smile at the tall Elf smiling down at you in his more casual outfit of jeans and a tucked in deep green button down shirt, “Hope you don’t mind walking.”

Your smile grew as you stepped out and locked your door behind you, “Not at all. I prefer it actually, to the drive. Besides, there’s a clearer view of the stars after.”

His smile grew taking your side starting the walk as he stole a glance at your feet, “You’re fine with the walk in those shoes?”

You smiled up at him, “They’re more comfortable than they look. I could run in these if I have to.”

“Still if it rains don’t be surprised if I throw you over my shoulder to get you back faster.”

Your smile grew through another giggle, “What makes you think you’re faster than me?”

He smirked at you, “My legs are longer.”

“I think it might just be an excuse to throw me over your shoulder.” Shooting him a playful smile.

Returning the playful glance, “If I wanted to throw you across my shoulders you’d be there.”

“Well I should say the same to you. I did grow up around Dwarves, I can handle the heaviest of them.”

He chuckled again, “Paints quite a picture. I’m sure I’d enjoy it. Having you toss me over your shoulders.” Stepping closer to you his arm gently rested around your back as a car passed.

You giggled again, “Do you miss the city terribly? Your Ada did.”

He shook his head meeting your eyes, “Not at all. And I look forward to staying here for an impossibly long time.”

“As long as the curious crowds don’t drive you away.”

He chuckled. “There isn’t anything they could say or do to drive me away.”

Your eyes narrowed, “Have you met Dis? I’m sure she’s off somewhere planning our wedding right now.”

He chuckled again, “As long as there’s chocolate cake with strawberries I’m there.”

You giggled, “Oh that’s nice. She forces us through some service and you’re there for the cake. Well I’ll have you know I’m holding out for the steaks and brownies. For Gloin’s they had this lava brownie dish, it was to die for, and the steaks, so good.”

He chuckled again with a nod at your eyes rolling in your description of the steaks, “Sounds like an incredible meal. I say we ask for all three, maybe she might let you pick the dress.”

You giggled again, “Fat chance in hell.” Raising your fingers to twist a strand of your hair before you, “No she lives for dress shopping. She’d never let go of that decision.”

He smirked, “We’ll just have to elope then. Only way around it. You pick the dress you want then the second time around, she’ll be furious but she will still accept planning the more lavish second go round. With our three tiny demands I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Making you both chuckle at the image.

“Well hopefully she’s not there tonight.”

“She’ll be there.”

You grumbled leaning against his side making him curl his arm around you tighter and kiss the top of your head, “Don’t worry I’ll keep an eye on the nearest closets to hide you in.”

“A man with an escape plan, where have you been hiding all my life?”

He chuckled again as you giggled, “Apparently too close to be comfortable with missing knowing you for longer.”

You smiled again and glanced back at the truck stopping at your side with two of your neighbors asking, “Hey Love Birds, heading for the pub?” You nodded and Thranduil easily griped your hips and lifted you into the bed of the truck effortlessly before climbing in himself and sitting at your side.

While the others there drew you into their conversation they grinned and watched as his arm rested across your legs before you, trying to keep you from sliding along the trip over. Stopping again his smile grew at your grumble spotting Dis already waiting and waving you over, curling his arms around you he helped you down after climbing out himself and gently took your hand leading you inside.

Holding your smiles you accepted your seat in the middle of the group of Durins leaning against his side as they kept scooting closer to you as Dis ‘snuck’ pictures of you, all while you felt a pair of brown eyes mournfully lingering on you.

.

Hours passed and you managed to guide him to the side of the pub and slip outside and sneak back holding in your giggles as you did so, managing to make it to a cross roads until a group of cars were coming up on you. Suddenly his arms wrapped around you lifting you to dart behind a thick bushy tree as you covered your mouth to muffle your giggles as they passed still talking about you both, wondering where you could have snuck off to.

“Nice plan.” He chuckled again setting you down and leading you back to the road when the car was out of sight.

“It’s my job. Have to make sure we manage to get some time alone together.”

Back at your place you led him inside to make some tea as he glanced around stealing his chance to see the home you had clearly worked so hard into making yours. Stealing peeks into each room along the way until he found you in the kitchen and froze at a picture among the scattered mural of frames along your wall of a man resembling Kili in an Elven Uniform, “I didn’t know Kili served in the Elven forces.”

You glanced out over the counter saying, “That’s my Cousin Draco.” His eyes wandered over to his ears and your last name stitched across his chest as you walked out of the kitchen with two mugs of tea and passed him one, “He used to watch me when my Parents were working on the base. It got attacked and, he was the one who got me out of the house when the roof caved in. Bit of a shock when I first met Kili, he won’t be out of active service for another 20 years.”

Thranduil, “Does Kili know about him?”

You shook your head, “Couldn’t bear to hang up his picture till I got this place, got a letter that he was safe back in Tirion. I don’t really get many visitors.”

His smile grew as he joined you out on your walk through to the back yard, “Well I’d love to meet him one day, when he can that is.”

You smiled up at him again, “I think he’d like you.”

“Legolas was right about you.” Your brow rose, “He said you’d be perfect for me. When he spent that summer here before I moved in.”

You smiled, “We barely even spoke.”

He smiled, “You didn’t have to.” His eyes shifted to the gazebo in the center of the lake from your curious gaze, “Has that always been there?”

You giggled softly, “Since I’ve been here. I know my first month here there was a dance at school, no one asked me. And Bofur and Bifur took me out there, decorated it with lanterns, brought out the record player and taught me Dwarven dances.”

His smile grew glancing at it again, “Hmm, I may have to take you out there some time. And if you’re ever in the mood for dancing let me know.”

You smiled again, “I’ll remember that.” Sipping from your mug as he did the same walking with you to the edge of the water where you sat before, to snuggle under the stars finishing your tea. Slowly your eyes drooped and you grumbled making him chuckle before helping you up and walking you back inside gently kissing you on the cheek, “I look forward to seeing our picture in the morning paper.”

You giggled again, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He nodded, “Yes you will. Sweet dreams.” Smiling widely at you as he stepped back before turning to walk across the green distance to enter his back door as you locked up, changed and slid into bed as he did the same.

…

The pub finally emptied and Kili cleaned then closed up, bounding up the steps hoping he hadn’t missed the best of the films Mal and her cousins had set up for the night. However a wall of giggles met him at the door widening his smile on his path inside. Around the corner he saw the impossible, his counters were spotless, the were coated with flour and ingredients, but clearly someone had put some work into wiping down the counters before the creation of whatever the giggling group was working on. Joining them in the kitchen he spotted the boys all following Mal’s lead. Working small clumps of pizza dough into small circles before Mal brought over the pot of sauce, she had clearly made herself by the dicing board and remnants of veggies in the trash bin, to pour a circle of sauce on each of them before the boys each claimed handfuls of the toppings in the bowls lined up above the pizzas. Carefully when done they added them to the tray loaded with five already that was eased into the oven.

With a grin as the boys went back to watching the paused film Kili entered taking her side chuckling through his oddly misshapen first creation he added to the next tray before moving on to the next one while sharing about his evening in the pub. Wetting his lips he asked, “How was the clinic?”

Mal let out an awkward snort she turned her blushing face away from him after feigning a  need to fetch something for a moment until she calmed. “Nearly the full town dropped in. All eager to offer their congratulations.”

Kili drew in a deep breath holding his smile, “I bet. Jaqi doesn’t date. Bit of a shock.”

Mal turned her head, “Doesn’t date?” Kili shook his head, “Like, at all?”

“Nope. Fili said she had a couple in trade school but never out here.”

“How?!”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s drop dead gorgeous. I mean I know she’s practically related to about half the town through Bifur and Bofur, but, no one? Ever?”

Kili pasued for a moment then wet his lips answering lowly on his way to fetch some juice, “Typical Dwarven attraction, well, Jaqi doesn’t fit the ideal.”

Mal tilted her head for a moment, “You’re saying she’s ugly?”

Kili turned to her, “I-,” he let out an exhale pausing for thought, “By typical Dwarven standards she is not attractive. However, knowing her, she is an incredible person and able to win anyone over. But again, it’s all down to the personal preference of the Dwarf. And growing up she was always off to the side, on the teams but not really outgoing.”

Mal’s hand was propped on the counter for her to lean on it balking at him with befuddled narrowed eyes, “How,” she wet her lips, “I just can’t see it. That she is the one people say, ‘but she has such a great personality’, I mean, I’m that girl. Always.”

Kili, “You are not that girl.”

“Am I attractive then?” She asked before her blush or nerves could stop her.

Kili nodded, “You seem, Hobbitish,” she raised a brow, “which, and mind you this is not an insult. Dwarves usually find Hobbits some of the most attractive people they’ve met.”

Mal nodded then shook her head, “What a strange world…” Kili couldn’t help but smirk as she went to add their pizzas into the oven and take the others out to carry into the boys.

The longer he sat with the group he knew it to be true, and even with this gorgeous yet quirky woman seemingly unaware of her effect on others, even more so when surrounded by her cousins casting her in the even more appealing Hobbitish mothering glow making her damn near irresistible to a great deal of Dwarves in town. Though lucky for him it was blaringly obvious she had an attraction to the dark eyed Durin and even a bit confused about where his true attractions lie, he felt something, not sure what, but something making the town sit back and simply watch to see what unfolds. One movie led to two and pizzas led to ice cream and brownies which led to a painful sugar crash leaving the six of them sprawled out across the couches. Morning came and with the early return of Fili and Sigrid pictures were taken, and not so subtly copied and hidden to use for later.

…

Fumbling with his keys Thorin knocked on Bilbo’s door. They had been out to eat before, but never alone. For years they had been doing this dance and hopefully tonight they could both break out of their shells. The ride over was quiet and not until they go to the restaurant did Thorin say a word. Even just his name made Bilbo’s skin rise coated with bumps as his eyes traveled over the Dwarf so commonly coated in grease and rust now scrubbed clean in a button down shirt and slacks over some dress shoes smelling so faintly of pine trees a scent always making Bilbo smile. Not far from the Hobbit he kept stealing glances at, with his dress shirt covered in a paisley vest flattened over the acorn coated tie, slacks and dress shoes he was wearing. With the same tempting unremovable scent of clay mingled with rain covered wild grass triggering the memory of Thorin exploring the green hills of these lands when growing up.

In the back room of this firefly themed eatery the pair stole adoring glances at one another and while the wine was tasted sparingly while the effects of the steak dinners started to kick in. Mostly full the pair stole the chance to take dessert home along with the rest of the bottle of wine they had started.

The empty cottage normally filled with the sound of children allowed nerves to creep back in. But steadily by firelight the pair eased out of their shoes sharing their deepest secrets and thoughts while splitting the desserts and wine. The last drop had been drunk while a single drip of chocolate sauce eased down Thorin’s lip and before he could lick it away Bilbo’s lips were on his after a gentle tug on his braided beard. A stealing of chocolate began a kiss that neither wished to end, so it didn’t, at least not past the usual fumbling path to bed, stripping along the way taking full advantage of the empty cottage while they could. All until morning their impassioned night continued.

And if Thorin imagined himself unable to love the Hobbit more he found the sunrise’s golden light spreading across his golden dusted curls and tanned freckle coated skin all the more alluring. His grin spread and against his Hobbit’s back he melted grinning wider at the hand covering his to fold fingers with his drawing it close to his steadily beating heart after a peck on the warm calloused knuckles. As per the arrangement by Mal they got to sleep in and switch from their spooning to Thorin settling on his back with Bilbo following after to settle on his side.

A drowsy close eyed kiss on Bilbo’s forehead opened his eyes to the peaceful expression on his One’s face. Somehow under all that scowling this peaceful creature emerged in his sleep. Long lashed eyelids coating his bewitching eyes with a perfectly angled nose to frame his face with lips meant for a teasing smirk while hiding a beaming smile able to stun. A beard coated chin lead to straggling hair down his jaw and neck failing to connect with the dark hairs across his steadily rising chest coated in several Dwarven tattoos his fingers began to trace. The somewhat hypnotizing patterns distracted him from the opening of those bewitching eyes and smirk that followed as well as the calloused curled finger looping under his chin to turn the head of the golden coated Hobbit melting immediately into the kiss offered him.