#stuff with heavy themes of DECEPTION

[twoheadedcalfsanctuary]

GOD I fucking love acoc

[carbonfiction]

i know the general census is that frank is gentle but how would he handle if his little bunny that seemed all innocent and shy liked it insanely rough? not just spanking and backshots “rough” but face slapping and grabbing, breath play like holding her mouth and nose, intense manhandling like chokeholds and being held in the air to show how small she is in his arms and lowk clit torture. and she likes to act all delicate because she is and can’t even fit him all the way in after training and also squirts from a few touches to her clit but she likes being broken and wants him to use every ounce of his strength to do that and i need him to skullfuck me with my hands tied behind my back with a vibrator assaulting my clit…and then he slaps my cheek over and over and then pulling out to put me in a chokehold until i’m bruised 🐳 glasses anon i need him to break five pairs monthly from how rough he is i need him to CORRUPT MEEE

FIRSTLY!! 🐳ANON HELLOO<33 I have missed you<3

Please you are so real, it’s like actually a carnal needdddd how bad I need frank to hold my jaw and coo filthy filthy things at me while he blows out my back. And you are SO right on the corruption and skull fucking omggggg. Oh and I also wanna add bc of this ask (and my absolutely foul thoughts on born again bearded frank) I ammmm working on a rougher/mean!Frankie piece rn and I am quaking each time I open the draft. I cannot wait to get a sec to get it finished for y’all <3

im praying this is understandable enough though and not complete waffle😭 I struggle trying to get my thoughts out clearly enough sometimes if ya couldn’t already tell🥲 18+smut thoughts below the cut inc themes of rough sex, breath play/choking, Size kink? Doggy/prone? Was the goal anyway😭Overstimulation, bodily fluids and aftercare (pleeeeease lmk if I've missed anything, i always go blank tagging😭)

Buuuuuuut buckle up! in response to this, I feel like if there’s anyone who can offer the rough stuff it’s him yk? Obviously if you were to let him, no mattwr how embarrassed you could be about it, he'd listen openly. But just know there would be SO many conversations beforehand on likes, dislikes, hard limits, safe words, boundary’s ect, and this goes for both of you! Neither of you want to make the other uncomfortable, especially not in a moment that takes such a level of sexual intimacy, trust and even respect. (Even when being deceptively disrespectful sometimes)

Frank strikes me (and im sure many of you guys) as task motivated so if his baby bun wants something a certain way, he’s going to ensure everything is correct for her to get it. He loves you too much to do anything without afformentioned confirmation. This also includes a lot of discussion on what sort of thing you need for aftercare within those moments when things get heavy too-

And I say those moments bc I don’t think he’d always indulge it? like dont get me wrong, he’d do it, but it’s not going to be every single time you fuck yk? He might incorporate bits here and there like a lil hard tap on the cheek for your attention “eyes on me, yeah, there she is, theres my dirty girl” or a hand on the neck “that feelin good sweetheart? That pretty head gettin all fuzzy?”

Perhaps frank even indulges you with licks of overstim outside of those moments, forfilling it with whatever form is within the mood- vibe, his mouth or fingers. “Shhh, You can take it. Taken more than this before, atta girl, you feel it, aint gotta think, just gotta keep cummin”

But the whole shebang? The whole 9 yards of him getting reeeeal rough, properly leaving marks, really manhandling or getting intensely mean would definitely be different; perhaps even almost planned? Like for example those moments are reserved for say arguments sake, ovulation, pent up stress relief or when your headspace is feeling a specific way?

The way he fucks, the way he talks and touches you? All Completely different to how frank would usually operate in the bedroom and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest!! I just personally feel it would take as much out of frank to do it as it would for you to take it yk?

But That being said he would be disgustingly good with it when he does use it <3

Wrapping his big bicep beneath your chin as he fucks into you harshly from behind, the other hand pinching and slapping at your tits- the taugt buds of your nipples- sharply enough to make you jerk and gasp. Problem is though, the more you jerk and react the more he tightens his hold, squeezing you in the headlock until he can feel the flutters of your cunt and the heaves of your chest. His massive body completely draped over yours, the weight of him pressing you down toward the mattress, hips pummelling your backside in a brutal fashion, punching deep and fast. "Fuckin tight little hole's squeezin my cock, you like not bein able to breathe? feelin me in your tummy?" the hand at your tits drifting to press at your stomach making you squeak, the pressure intensifying the pleasure coursing through you. "Yeaaah, yeah you love all that cock in there dontcha Bun, greedy fuckin girl. Made for it, just lettin me use that pussy how i want"

That hand (sometimes then reaching for your vibe if the mood so runs that way) will then drift further down to your puffy clit, already oversensitive and abused from prior attention. Frank slaps it once, twice, three times before immediately massaging tight, quick figure eights until you practically end up limp in his grip, eyes rolling back as you cum again with a choked, almost gargled moan. Your cunt squeezing him almost as tight as the grip on your neck before he lets go; letting euphoria take over your body with each gasp of oxygen that fills your lungs.

Frank does not stop until he feels you physically cannot cum anymore (or you Safeword!!). He fucks you through orgasm after orgasm (even his own) until you’re nothing short of a mess, practically trembling like a newborn deer and the slightest brush on your clit has your legs closing with a broken yowl. Panting body absolutely covered with various marks, drying spit, slick and cum.

The aftercare, while hes incredible with it generally, is then a complete 180 however- gone is all the roughness of his movements, the sharpness of his words. Replaced by touchs that are feather light and words careful, quiet grumbles as he checks in on you. "Hey pretty girl.. Heads all hazy huh? I know.. But i gotcha, franks gotcha, your safe."

Once you've had a drink and a little bite to eat, some fruit or something simple, he'll always carry you to the bathroom and only leave you to change the sheets as you sit to pee (bc christ forbid a uti on his watch-) then you can lean back against his chest in the warm water of the bath he left running, his broad body sat behind yours as he gets you clean without you even needing to move.

Whispers of soft praise and gentle shushes filling the echoing bathroom as he ensures every sensitive inch of skin is clean even when your eyes droop. "Shhh, i know.. Know its sore baby, just one more moment. One more swipe n' ill leave it alone yeah?" punctuated with a soft kiss to your temble that an hour ago you wouldn't of been able to even dream of him doing.

Frank dries you off with the softest towl you own, of course warmed by the dryer. soothing your skin with a lotion and/or balm you love. Never forgetting to pay extra gentle attention to the red welts on your ass, thighs and chest as he tells you how gorgeous you are in a moment that sometimes, you can feel anything but.

He'll help you into the pajamas you choose (wether your own or one of his shirts/boxers) and not bat a single eye if wearing panties to bed is too uncomfortable for you to handle.

Once fully comfortable his first mission is to then get you a propper snack or little meal. Insisting food is fuel and you need it after everything he put you through as he treads of to the kitchen. Coming back to then execute mission number 2: laying down with you resting cuddled up on his chest.

Fingers softly running over your arm as he presses kisses anywhere he can with little movement. "Doin okay sweetheart? You tell me if you need anything else alright? Nothins too much for my girl." " so proud of you, ya know that?"

"Gettin sleepy down there? I know..shh, you get some rest. Not goin anywhere i promise, Love you sweetheart"

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

If you were to introduce additional Shakespearean characters into Veronaville who would you introduce/expand from just ancestors e.g. Macbeths or Hamlets

oooooooh lordy I've been thinking about this so hard recently

I love Veronaville but I feel like it's really heavy on just Romeo and Juliet and A Midsummer Night's Dream, as most of the people named after other plays are either still little kids or already dead. I feel like this can work fine (after all, you can just wait until the kids get older to start doing stuff with them) but while we're still focused on this generation of teens, it feels weirdly... patchy?

Like, we're missing crucial characters in here. Where's Benvolio? Where's our Prince Escalus? Where is Paris? We obviously can't get every single person from every single play in here, but there literally is not a plot without some of these people.

Why do we have Hermia and Puck, but no Lysander, Demetrius, or Helena? The entire play centers around the four lovers; without them what are the others doing?

I totally get why the devs didn't cram the town full of even more people, because there's a deceptively large number already there, but I feel like if I was gonna add people, that's where I'd start: just filling the gaps for which plays are the current focus of each generation.

Outside of that, another big missed opportunity to me is Academie Le Tour, and how it's not really Shakespeare themed. Why is there a normal ass university connected to my ridiculous theater town? Especially when you've got plays that could unfold really well in a setting like this? If you're worried about cluttering Veronaville itself, then why not use the college linked to it as a whole new area to play with?

Hear me out:

Hamlet, Horatio, and some of the other guys guarding Castle Elsinore as a bunch of shitty roommates. Perhaps Hamlet has to drop out halfway through his time at ALT due to his father's sudden death. You understand. (Hamlet deserved so much better than being a dead ancestor in a family tree somewhere I'm telling you)

You could bring in Ophelia. You could bring in a Fortinbras. Fuck it. Why not? Aside from R&J and AMND, Hamlet is one of the biggest "young people getting their lives ruined" Shakespeare plays I can think of. It's weird to me that the devs used so many big names as just ancestors in Veronaville and nothing more.

I think the plot of Macbeth would work best in like a business setting back in VV itself, if we gotta modernize it. Macbeth is competing to take over a business after his boss, old Mister Duncan, "retires". Hijinks ensue. Maybe the witches are three weird interns giving him bullshit advice. Banquo is there. You know. The whole shebang.

Othello could be a banger plot to have play out as well, especially considering that you already have Desdemona there. That's one I'd leave for later, when everyone who's already in town has sort of done their thing and grown up a bit. You can eventually shift the focus away from the R+J/AMND crew and onto the next group of people moving into that age group. This does mean adding more characters in later down the line, but it does give Desdemona something to do when she's an adult. (It's also nice to add new people because eventually everyone in this town is related to each other ☠️ we got so focused on the two houses both alike in dignity that we forgot to make more houses and now the whole town is a bunch of cousins)

You get the idea. I'm normal about this neighborhood.

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 3 MAGIC vs. MEME

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for MAGIC:

MAGIC MY BELOVED MAGIC!!! Its one of the best MVs in the entire series, even including T2. Magic is visually stunning and has some fantastic art direction but also is very clever in how it conveys its themes and ideas. Magic doesn't really hide anything from you, not really. It's all symbolic but it Tells You Things. It shows you the abuse, it shows you the cat. There's a fun little relationship going on here where, In Magic. Amane's pain and suffering isn't taken seriously by the people around her and the Audience we are discouraged to take it at face value due to the fictionalized nature of Magic. It's so cool. I'm so fond of the song as well, it's one of the best in the series purely cause of the Layers in it. The implications of this Inability to be good is seeped into Magic. Amane knows this isn't reality, Magic knows it's a show, she watches it at the end. And it's so Sad to me that even in her fictionalized happy world she Cannot be a good girl. It's a standard completely out of reach for her and that idea is just conveyed so well visually.

Im not even talking about the goddamn cat yet- the cat symbolism goes Deep. That cat is HER it has the same wounds Amane has in Purge March. I- I cant talk about the intertextuality of Purge March and Magic here this is Magic propaganda only- I- there's so much good stuff to Magic. I Re watched it over and over again. It has some the Best Writing and Visual Communication in Milgram and I will Die on this Hill.

---

shoutout to magic for having pretty props AND being vague as fuck about the crime! diversity win!

seriously though amane looks SO cute in it! the mv has such a pretty and colorful style and even with that it's able to show the horrors of what amane went through.

adding onto my last point. that scene where the cat is hyperventilating and you see the camera shaking???? that scene where the mascots find amane helping the cat and they're all standing over her? CHILLS. im repeating myself but the fact that they were able to portray the awful things amane went through in a genuinely emotional way while still keeping the cute cartoon look is soo impressive

there are SO many layers to itill the entire cartoony style making it look like a tv show… utilizing the cartoony effects and bright colors to show amane downplaying her own pain… the transformation after she gets punished barely changing anything to show just how manipulated she was from the start… ueueueue

ALSO ALSO ALSO THE SCENE AT THE END WITH AMANE STARING AT THE SCENE? OHHH ITS SO GOOD it adds such a feeling of dread and reminds you on top of this whole thing that all of this is truly horrifying! something is going on here!

this song is so catchy it gets stuck in my head CONSTANTLY

"Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?" AMANE... UEUEUUEUE

the little ding sound effects in the instrumental?????

amanes voice is ADORABLE

THE INSTRUMENTAL IN THAT PART WHERE SHES HELPING THE CAT HAS THAT GODLY TYPE SOUND YOUD TYPICALLY ASSOCIATE WITH CHURCHES AND STUFF AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT PROPERLY BUT JUST RELISTEN TO IT AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ITS SUCH A NEAT DETAIL

i could go on about this mv for days but i am not a theorist unfortunately. just. magic sweep

Propaganda for MEME:

"MeMe is fantastic because it plays off the audience’s assumptions about Mikoto as a character and tells a “double story”. There’s layers to it and it’s deliberately deceptive in the way it presents the events out of order. Even the instrumentals themselves tell a story. The shift from piano in the second chorus climax is so good - and the way they combine in the last chorus, plus the addition of a violin culminates the song perfectly."

---

"For propaganda: I love meme so much because even the music alone tells as whole story. It goes from heavy metal to calm to heavy metal to calm and that happens a few times and then there’s an epic and creepy intermission with an amazing guitar and a scary of sound of Mikoto’s heavy breathing. And then the psychedelic music and BAM the final chorus. The final chorus of meme just gives me the absolute chills. Like it’s the calmer chorus we see earlier but with epic symphonic metal and an amazing build up and climax like it’s perfectly encapsulates a story through music alone I just love it so much. Also it’s literally called meme lmao."

---

"I could go on about the motifs in MeMe - like identity loss, living and dying, dreaming etc. It's a song, more than with any other character, about the inner self and what hides from the surface. Of the fear that comes with one's identity and place in the world being challenged and crumbling. The intricate designs on the tarot cards have so much depth to them"

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 17

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

If Damen was rougher than he needed to be, it was because he didn’t approve of this plan. Hearing it described, he’d felt as though his body was under a weight, a hard pressure. Now he released Enguerran in the tent and watched him get to his feet without helping him. Enguerran had a wound in his side that still leaked blood. Laurent, entering the tent, pulled off his helm, and Damen saw what Enguerran saw: a golden prince with his armour covered in blood, his hair sweat-dampened, his eyes unsparing. The wound in Enguerran’s side had come from Laurent’s blade; the blood on Laurent’s armour was Enguerran’s.

lamen back at it with the strategic improv. we love to see it

He wanted no part of what was about to unfold.

support your boyfriend’s tactical theatrics, damen. let laurent get a little silly with it

‘I see. So you need me to get inside Ravenel. That is the real reason I am alive. You expect me to betray the people I have served for ten years.’ ‘To get inside Ravenel? My dear Enguerran, I’m afraid you are quite mistaken.’ Laurent’s gaze travelled over Enguerran again, his blue eyes cold. ‘I don’t need you,’ said Laurent. ‘I just need your clothes.’

i love the little moments where laurent explains his plan with like. total seriousness. but the plan itself is something that would happen in a dungeons and dragons game or animated film.

Damen was repelled by the disguise. He had argued against it. The deception was wrong, the pretence of friendship.

going crazy with that nice vs. good theme lately damen. i wonder if there’s some other reason you’re particularly opposed to the idea of disguising oneself and poisoning a friendship with deception at the moment

The brazen audacity of this was characteristic of Laurent, though dressing up his entire troop was on a different scale to walking into a small town inn with a sapphire in his ear, batting his lashes. It was one thing to disguise yourself, another to force your whole army to do it.

As the heavy latticed iron beetled above their heads, Damen found himself wanting it, wanting disruption, a cry of outrage, or of challenge, wanting it as a release to this—feeling. Traitor. Stop. But none came. Of course it didn’t. Of course the men of Ravenel welcomed them, believing them to be friends. Of course they trusted in the face of a deception, leaving themselves wide open.

this is sooooo mean (and clever) of pacat, given the interpersonal stuff between damen and laurent rn

Barrels were upended into a courtyard fountain, so that men could scoop wine out as they pleased.

love this detail

He dispatched men to take Touars’s nine-year-old son Thevenin and hold him under house arrest. Laurent was developing quite a collection of sons.

well someone has to be nice to children in this fucked up world

Then Laurent turned and saw him, and the pressure in his chest grew like pain as Laurent greeted him, half-stripped and bright-eyed. ‘How do you like my fort?’

laurent is especially fascinating as things really heat up between him and damen. it’s part cognitive dissonance, but also… i think damen has changed his mind. i don’t think laurent hates damen anymore. i think everything that seems to have developed between them, actually has developed both ways. even if laurent goes back on it later, and says mean things, damen has at this point completely changed laurent’s initial perception of him. damen is damen, who laurent knows and trusts, and not damianos. that’s where the cognitive dissonance comes in—not in any kind of false impression of damen himself. it’s, again, sad in a different way to read with the context i have. because laurent is being true here, despite the lie, and i just wish they could come by this with total honestly. but that would never have been possible for them, with their history. and the auguste thing will have to be reckoned with, eventually. laurent just has it on ice for now.

All right,’ said Laurent. ‘You see? I’m learning to take your advice.’ He spoke with an unselfconscious little smile that was wholly new.

i don’t think laurent is enjoying damen’s turmoil. i don’t even think he notices it. while he definitely respects damen, laurent still doesn’t expect him to stay past the point of his given freedom. and that’s why he flirts, and is friendly, and fucks him, despite the auguste thing. because it all ends tomorrow anyway, by damen’s choice. so laurent might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

of course, laurent underestimates damen’s devotion, as usual. even when he has sex with damen, i’m sure laurent thinks damen is counting it as just another conquest that he’ll forget about the day after. so it doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t have to matter—which good, because if it did matter to damen, it would matter SO MUCH to laurent as well. and laurent knows that his brother’s killer can’t matter to him, because that would be insane. so it’s good that damen just sees him as 1) partaking in an agreement that he (damen) will leave as soon as he’s freed and 2) a piece of ass. yep. that’s definitely it, laurent. good job.

He said, ‘What will you do next?’ ‘Bathe,’ answered Laurent, in a tone that said he knew perfectly well what Damen had meant, ‘and change into something that’s not made of metal. You should do the same. I had the servants lay out some clothing for you that befits your new station. Very Veretian, you’ll hate it. I have something else for you as well.’ He turned back in time to see Laurent move briefly to pick up a half-circle of metal from a small table by the wall. It felt like the slow push of a spear into his body, the awful unfolding inevitability of it, in front of servants, in this small, intimate room. ‘I didn’t have time to give this to you before the battle,’ said Laurent.

ohhh laurent’s going full delusional here, riding the high of his previous act. but this isn’t an act, not really. but it has to be an act, for laurent to be okay with it. just how laurent performed cruelty in book 1 with hate in his heart, he’s performing affection here with love in his heart. but it can’t be true—it can’t NOT be in some ways a performance, and laurent has made sure of that by keeping the lie going for this long. this man is in a heaven/hell of his own design. it’s honestly impressive how deeply he manages to complicate things for himself. he made his own bed and now he’s getting fucked in it

The last thing he heard was Laurent saying, ‘See to my Captain. Tonight he is to have anything that he asks for.’

HELL yeah he is

‘We are lucky the Prince’s messenger got through with his signet ring,’ Damen acknowledged. ‘What messenger?’ said Torveld.

lmaooo i think the messenger was about loyse’s whole reveal? like VERY long game?

‘I’m a Captain through your help. I owe you a great deal.’ Shyly, after a pause: ‘I told you that I would repay you. You did so much to help me in the palace. And . . .’ Erasmus hesitated, looking over at Torveld. When Torveld nodded that he should speak, he lifted his chin, uncharacteristically. ‘And I didn’t like the Regent. He burnt my leg.’ Torveld gave him a proud look, and Erasmus flushed and made obeisance again with perfect form.

eugh i haaaaaate the way the akielion slaves talk. it’s especially jarring after not having to see them for like an entire book. i know it’s supposed to be off-putting though so job well done i guess

Damen repressed another instinct to tell him to stand up.

buddy you're so close don't repress it!

He looked at Erasmus, the demure limbs and the lowered lashes. He had bedded slaves like this, as pliant in bed as they were out of it. He remembered enjoying it, but the memory was distant, as though it belonged to someone else. Erasmus was pretty, he could see that. Erasmus, he recalled, had been trained for him. He would be obedient to every order, intuit every whim, willingly. Damen turned his eyes to Laurent. A picture of cool, difficult distance confronted him. Laurent sat in brief conversation, wrist balanced on the edge of the great table, fingertips resting on the base of a goblet. From the severe, straight-backed posture to the impersonal grace of his cupped yellow head; from his detached blue eyes to the arrogance of his cheekbones, Laurent was complicated and contradictory, and Damen could look nowhere else.

LET'S GOOOOOO

As though responding to some instinct, Laurent looked up and met Damen’s eyes, and in the next moment Laurent was rising and making his way over.

‘It can wait. You just won me a fort,’ said Laurent. ‘Let me spoil you a little.’

yeah he’s just going all out he knows it’s over tomorrow nothing matters

‘That wasn’t a play against my uncle. That was a play against Nicaise. Boys are easy. At thirteen,’ said Laurent, ‘you could have led me around by the nose.’ ‘I can’t believe you were ever easy.’

an untraumatized 13 year old laurent would have been soooooo fucking weird around damen

‘Torveld tells me that in Akielos, it’s the slave who feeds the master.’ ‘That’s right.’ ‘Then you can’t have any objection,’ said Laurent, picking up the morsel, and lifting it.

laurent i think you forgot who’s the sl—you know what it’s fine they’re roleplaying again

He took a second bite. He didn’t look at the food, he looked at Laurent, at the way he held himself, always so controlled, so that all of his reactions were subtle, his blue eyes difficult to read, but not cold. He could see that Laurent was pleased, that he was enjoying the acquiescence for its rarity, its exclusivity. It felt like he was on the edge of understanding, as though Laurent was coming into view for the first time.

laurent really just said “fuck it i’ve got one night left time to be a freak about it”

Damen’s attention was on Laurent’s ivory and gold colouring, the overfine skin, the last traces of bruising from where he’d been tied up and hit. Damen’s gaze travelled, inch by inch, taking in the proud lift of his chin, the uncooperative eyes, the arch of his cheekbone, and dropping back down to his mouth. His sweet, vicious mouth.

Everything would be simple in the morning.

definitely

‘I thought you helped them out of compassion.’ ‘No, you didn’t,’ said Laurent.

He’d never stood against his father for anything. He’d never needed to, so closely had their values aligned.

damen please keep pulling at this thread and think about why that might be

‘I never questioned the way my father saw the world. It was enough for me to be the kind of son he was proud of. I could never bring shame to his memory, but for the first time I realise I don’t want to be . . .’ His kind of King.

YESSS GOOD JOB DAMEN

Father, I can beat him, he’d said, and he’d ridden out and returned to a hero’s welcome, to have his armour stripped by servants, to have his father greet him with pride. He remembered that night, all those nights, the galvanising power of his father’s expansionist victories, the approbation, as success flowed from success. He had not thought about the way it had played out on the other side of the field. When this game began, I was younger. ‘I’m sorry,’ said Damen.

the apology for auguste… ohhhhh my god. damen you’re having a character development!!!! you’re questioning things!!!!

Laurent gave him a strange look. ‘Why would you apologise to me?’

okay shut up let him have this you know why

He said, ‘I didn’t understand what being King meant to you.’ ‘What’s that?’ ‘An end to fighting.’

:)

‘I wish it could have been different between us, I wish I could have behaved to you with more honour. I want you to know that you will have a friend across the border, whatever happens tomorrow, whatever happens to both of us.’

damen you behaved with an insane amount of honor. and don’t make promises you can’t keep

‘Friends,’ said Laurent. ‘Is that what we are?’ Laurent’s voice was tightly knotted, as though the answer was obvious; as though it was as obvious as what was happening between them, the air disappearing, mote by mote.

Damen said, with helpless honesty, ‘Laurent, I am your slave.’ The words laid him open, truth exposed in the space between them. He wanted to prove it, as though, inarticulate, he could make up for what divided them.

my reading of this line is that damen is admitting his metaphorical devotion to laurent. like forget the cuffs or whatever, he’s just helplessly down bad. not suuuure if that’s the point of the line, though. the last line also implies that he wants to be with laurent as if they're equals, despite the power imbalance, soooo badly that he doesn't even care about the power imbalance

The touch he offered was accepted as it had not been last time, fingers gentle on Laurent’s jaw, thumb passing over his cheekbone, soft. Laurent’s controlled body was hard with tension, his rapid pulse urgent for flight, but he closed his eyes in the last seconds before it happened. Damen’s palm slid over Laurent’s warm nape; slowly, very slowly, making his height an offering, not a threat, Damen leaned in and kissed Laurent on the mouth. The kiss was barely a suggestion of itself, with no yielding of the rigidity in Laurent, but the first kiss became a second, after a fraction of parting in which Damen felt the flicker of Laurent’s shallow breathing against his own lips.

all the little details of laurent’s reactions continue to really touch me. for reasons previously mentioned. the contrast of words like “gentle” and soft” with “tension” and “rigidity” is very good

It felt, in all the lies between them, as if this was the only true thing. It didn’t matter that he was leaving tomorrow. He felt remade with the desire to give Laurent this: to give him all he would allow, and to ask for nothing, this careful threshold something to be savoured because it was all Laurent would let himself have.

a kingdom or this babyyyyyyyyy

do you think laurent is thinking something similar? it seems like he’s been thinking that all evening. this is the only true thing, and damen may be leaving tomorrow, but it isn’t tomorrow yet

They broke apart at the voice, the burst of sound, of nearby footsteps. A head was cresting the stone steps. Damen took a step backwards, his stomach twisting. It was Jord.

is this a lamen hr complaint? they did go somewhere private, it’s more of a jord hr complaint, like he’s at fault here. i won’t count it.

[prpfz]

🩸🦇 Hi! I’m a 21 y/o Transmasc Lazy Lit - Novella Writer! Looking for 18+ writers who can preferably match whether it’s 4 paragraphs, or 6, or more! Whatever works best for us! I’m fine w slow replies or multiple replies a week, I can vary depending on muse and how busy I am. I only Rp on Discord just a forewarning! Long ad warning sorry in advance!

Looking for some fandomless Oc x Oc, Transmasc ( m/c ) x Cis M ( y/c ) RP! Looking for some big 🕊️ Dead Dove themes here! Non/dub con, violence, abuse, possible/optional 🍪, possible gore or graphic descriptions of violence/injury/body transformation, etc. Looking for either a Vampire/Human or Werewolf/Human, but open to other such monsters and monster dynamics! The short version for what I have in mind is some non consensual turning into a vampire/werewolf/monster/whatever. Or the aftermath of M/c being turned. I have very few limits to what I’ll write! The typical Dead Dove stuff I enjoy writing! For smut, so long as there’s a good plot I don’t mind the ratios! I’d like for my characters to be the bottom/sub for these dynamics.

So, I have two characters in mind! One is your average artsy and alternative outcast teen/young adult with an unaccepting/strict family, but is set on living as who he wants to be even if it gets him into trouble. He’s kind and sweet, youthful and ignorant, clumsy, awkward and a tad shy, determined, creative, and a bit anxious but he’s rebellious in nature. He’s good natured, and is more outgoing once you get to know him. He is the possible/optional 🍪. | The other is a young adult buried knees deep within a criminal world who started out with the dream of street fighting/boxing but ended up looped into the messy world he now finds himself in. He’s angry and short tempered, standoffish, quarrelsome, over confident, unfriendly, and stubborn. He’s more often than not violent or acts out so. He’s not as cold as he likes to act and pretend he is though.

For plots! I have a few ideas! For the Vampire/Human, I adore the idea of Y/c, a vampire of whatever status and power, forcibly turning my character after some deception or manipulation and of course with some allure. Heavy focus on the trapping M/c with yours or them being tied together from it and M/c having to now cope with the fact that he has the need for and dependency on blood to survive. Alternatively, if we use my second character, I’d also be open to some Vampire/Vampire with a messy, toxic, abusive, and violent relationship — could even be the result of the first idea.

For the Werewolf plots, a similar idea of being forcibly turned, or potentially even accidentally and the dilemma of it. Another idea I’d enjoy is something similar to a movie plot, M/c being suddenly turned and desperately looking for a cure with the help of Y/c and a relationship forming there. This one could potentially work for a Vampire plot as well which I would love just as much, but I had in mind a Werewolf plot for this but; I’d also love the idea of M/c, already a Werewolf/Vampire, being forced out of his previous home and stumbling into the territory of Y/c, maybe a leader of some kind or just a being who already staked his claim on the area. M/c could possibly be a “newborn” or newly turned and disoriented trying to figure out this new life and get ahold of himself. Maybe M/c is causing trouble in the area unintentionally that the heat can be falling onto Y/c. Endless possibilities!

Please Like if you’re interested and I’ll be sure to reach out!

give a like and anon will get back to you

[remedyxtragedy]

Hello!!! Pleasure to meet ya!!

I only really wanna go by RemedyxTragedy but you can also just call me Rem or Remedy, whichever you prefer. I've been posting on tumblr for a good few months now on my other two accounts, however I've yet to emulate the online identity I've always wanted on platforms like this and so I decided, why not start anew and see where I get?

What I really strive to accomplish here is sharing my work with the masses, in a way that's 100% better and more organized than my previous attempts. Before I continue on about my stories, however, some basic and completely relevant facts about me are--

I prefer a much darker and grim style of writing so fluff, heartbalm, and mushy light-hearted stuff isn't really my cup of tea, although I do like wholesome from time to time just as a refresher from the more serious themes and subjects I often entrench myself in, to an unhealthy extent, so if I'm in the mood for it I might post such a story or two

I'm still very much in high school, but writing has been my passion for many years now. I enjoy playwriting and the regular creative style of writing, but as I've stated before my work will most likely only ever consist of Horror, mystery, or Thriller--it's what I'm best at.

Yes, I make art. I'm a rookie, by all means, but it's a very precious hobby of mine and so I make the most of it. My main blog is where I post art showcasing my main art style which is pretty vibrant and colorful so if you're interested you can check that out, but on this blog I'll only be posting art using the particular art style I adopted for Idiosyncratic, my other big story (name to be decided), and any other story I come up with along the journey. You'll see what I mean

I have a kitty cat, Tsukiko, and she's my pride and joy. Probably the most unnecessary detail I've shared about myself but in my eyes this is absolutely vital information the world should know about

I'm a Christian through and through, though I'm quite interested in a variety of religious and philosophical concepts which I incorporate in my writing, including of course heaven and hell, morality based on what is religiously acceptable compared to moral relativism, solipsism, theodicy, eternal recurrence, and many, many more.

I've been working on Idiosyncratic since seventh grade, technically six, so what I have now is the result of more than three years worth of heavy revision, redrafting, and complete reworking of my original idea. And let me tell you, what I had before is like the ugly grandfather of my current version of Idiosyncratic and if you were to place the two together side by side, you'd have no idea that they're related. The juxtaposition would be jaw-dropping, but ultimately all of this is to say that Idiosyncratic is very important to me and I pray that the final product, whatever it becomes, gets me somewhere in this world

Now, derailing from the mini tangent and while we're on the topic of Idiosyncratic, I'll give you all a pretty detailed summary of my idea and I'll make another separate post about my other big story that I recently started working on since this introduction post is already long enough. So, without further ado--

Idiosyncratic follows the twisted tragedy of Calixte Stanhope, a rather callous and apathetic but…ordinary enough young man who awoke in a truly bizarre dystopian world after being pushed in front of an ongoing train while escorting his significant other home, a faceless and nameless woman he remembers only by her mere existence in this vivid memory. Throughout his journey he's haunted and tormented by an ever-worsening deep longing for her that seems to spur his unnatural incentive to do whatever he must to survive.

Rather than being welcomed by the pearly gates of heaven or the fiery pits of hell, Calixte found himself standing in the midst of the deceptively benevolent town of Baltimore, where everything from the largest bank to the tiniest coin is made entirely of cardboard and plastic, like the set for a play—mimicking the real thing while not actually being it. One can say, a rip off of everything in our world, and yet it functions all the same, strangely enough.

The citizens of the town too; although they're quick to greet you with a warm smile and talk with such an enticing charm that is sure to ensnare anybody desperate for answers to their odd predicament, they are not even close to being as ordinary as first impressions suggest--first impressions of which Calixte, for whatever reason, could see straight through. And soon enough, those illusions of a Utopian society vanish into cinder as the true reality of the young man's situation is unveiled to be more abstract and dreadful than he even considered feasible. A reality that threatens to permanently twist and pervert the very perceptions of right and wrong our civilizations were forged upon.

What'll ultimately become abundantly clear to Calixte is that this world to glorifies the degeneracy we spurn, endorses the activity we condemn, and corrupts the principles we have used to scaffold our lands from the ground up--essentially, a complete burlesque or anti-thesis of what we stand for that is fueled by entropy. Violence and madness is praised and empowered, old concepts of morality are muddled and deemed obsolete, and humanity's animalistic drive to persevere at all costs is just a catalyst for a higher man's twisted wonderland. The citizens of this delightful world are diehard fanatics for this way of living, lusting for violence so much to the point where its broadcasted on television, discussed fanatically in literature, and displayed publicly as theatrical performances. The more irredeemable and atrocious something is, the more the residents of Baltimore revere it like sacred scripture, and the man who proudly encourages and orchestrates this madness, the aforementioned 'higher man', is none other than the eccentric mayor, “Whitman Sedgwick"--which is his pen name, as he usually regulates his hegemony and maintains a formidable presence through various propaganda, manifestos, and biographies that can be found all around town--the most famous of which being his disturbing pro-anarchy book, 'All Good Things'.

The very unlucky menagerie of people who wound up in Baltimore under bizarre circumstances similar to Calixte’s, properly labeled as “actors”, have to routinely partake in abhorrent acts for the public’s entertainment otherwise more than just their dignity, humanity, and pride will be torn from them. And eventually, once you're fully proven yourself to be of no use to Whitman's design, you are properly "dealt with"...

It’s a horrifying ordeal to most, but a paradise to some of humanity’s greatest degenerates, and that minority is powerful, hungry, and determined to survive by any means necessary--no matter how low they must stoop, or how much of their pith they must forsake in order to prevail. Thus leading Calixte, a not-so-righteous man with an ambition, to meet some other morally questionable people he never would’ve otherwise, creating a fragile alliance that will either make or break this band of reprehensible lowlives, all depraved in their own ways but alike in their desire for freedom and above all, answers.

As he begrudgingly adjusts his mind to this new world, he quickly realizes his dangerous willingness to do anything and everything he must in order to discover and accomplish his true purpose, and of course, to reunite with the one woman so dear to him. As his journey of metaphorical self destruction embarks, Calixte molds himself a vessel most apt to not only survive in Baltimore but to succeed beyond expectations, seemingly becoming a version of himself that'll soon be unrecognizable from its original form. In spite of his sturdy mind, as he comes to realize, there was absolutely nothing he could've done to brace himself for the scary revelation that the utter absurdity of this world may extend far, far beyond just the glamorization and capitalization of moral debasement. It seems, there's a larger horror waiting to be unearthed just beyond what his lenses can capture. It seems, there's more than one person pulling at the strings--its just a question of, who exactly is at the end of the cross brace?

OOOOoooh so ominous

Also, PLEASE, give me feedback.

[starsbegantofall]

room decor refresh

Haven't really had the chance to test out my embroidery machine because I was waiting for some bobbin thread and then I decided to rearrange my office and bedroom and moved heavy furniture all over the house. I have yet to finish cleaning and rearranging my office so I can actually have space to set up this deceptively giant embroidery machine, it's almost bigger than my Ikea work desk.

I did manage to replace almost all of the artwork on my bedroom gallery wall with my latest fave fanart and original art prints from artists online and at art markets. I also sorted out a huge box of miscellaneous stuff collected over 6 months (including old unopened mail... oops), just 3 more large boxes to go through plus the stuff in the garage lmao.

Here is the refresh, I am still in love with that clearly home-made wisteria wall decor. Haven't replaced the Inosuke print because well, I was too lazy to bring in the ladder and I still love him. But everything else was replaced, I hope to refresh the wall a little more often and try to cycle through all of my numerous art prints at least once if they weren't already used in my computer setup. Speaking of, I am due for both a PC setup refresh and a new theme for my bullet journal... hmm, we'll see which happens first, hahah.

[letmerambleplease]

Hey everyone! This is my first time doing this but in the following lines I’ll try very hard to convince you to watch a movie. ^^ (Yeah this isn't a balanced review of the movie, more like me just gushing about it) The name is « Sweet Smell of Success » and it’s is really underrated. However, when I went on twitter the other day, I did see that it still gets some love there which makes me very happy! You can rent it on amazon prime.

Ok but first things first. I‘m not a native english speaker so please excuse any mistakes! Also… and this is pretty important, I feel like I need to give trigger warnings because the movie deals with some heavy themes, like abusive relation ships, self harm, questionable sexual situations (sorry don’t know how to describe it) and probably more stuff that you should be midful of when watching it. It is not very explicit though in my opinion, so you won’t see any blood for example on screen. Furthermore (haha I’m trying to remember fancy words from english class ^^‘) I really love the characters as characters, that does not mean I condone any of their actions obviously.

Ok! With all of that out oft he way let’s begin!

Sweet Smell of Success is a film noir drama released in 1957, directed by Alexander Mackendrick. It is based on a nouvelette « Cosmopolitan » by Ernest Lehman and in the main roles are starring Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis, Susan Harrison, and Martin Milner.

The movie is about a press agent named Sidney Falco (dope name btw) who works under the very powerful colomnist  J.J. Hunsecker. J.J.‘s sister Susie Hunsecker is in a relationship with a man J.J. deems unworthy, which is why he wants Sidney to get them to break up. He himself does not want to ruin his relationship with his sister, who is already getting wary of him. 

I will try to stay spoiler free for this first section. Later on I want to talk about more of my personal viewing experience and will probably get into Spoilers, but I’ll warn you then.

I would like to start by talking about the acting and the characters. The actors are all great but stand outs for me are Tony Curtis who plays Sidney and Burt Lancaster who plays J.J.. Even though the charcters are both very manipulative and horrible people, the two actors play them very differently, which makes it super fun to watch. Sidney is always on his feet and you can practically see how many gears in his head are turning to devise a new scheme. Tony Curtis portrays this very well through nervous gestures and facial expressions. He is also very good at showing Sidneys deceptive side and his charme. The movie establishes his motivation in the very first minutes, which is great because everything he does comes back to a desire to find financial and social success. To achieve his goals Sidney does not really care about anyone, however he is very nice to most people, in case they could be useful later. There are always a lot of people greeting him when he comes into a bar and he himself even says that he is basically keeping up appearances 24/7.

J.J. on the other hand is very calm and seems threatening even in seemingly normal conversations. In stark contrast to Sidney he does not seem that occupied with being nice and keeping appearances because he can get away with it. He doesn’t need to appease someone, peoply try to appease him.

The movie is very interesting because it portrays different kinds of power struggles and power dynamics. From a first glance it seems like J.J. is basically at the top. He is very influencial, super intimidating (like damn, I would be very scared of him in real life) and commands every conversation he is in. But inspite of all of that he still has his limitations. One of his biggest limitations is his sister Susie herself. I think she is the only person he at least tries to keep a friendly relatinship with, while also controlling every aspect of her life. I think he knows that when she decides to leave that he can’t really do anything about it, so he pressures her into staying by intimidating her, while also trying to not push her over the edge. And at the end their whole dynamic switches, which leaves him standing quietly and kind of in a crouching position behind a door. It is a little difficult to explain tob e honest and if you are someone who watched the film let me know what you think.

Another thing is that, while Sidney definitly ranks beneath him in the power pyramid if you will, he still needs him to accomplish his goals. Because as I said before Sidney is very cunning and fast to not only devise a plan but to execute it as well.

There is a lot more to say about the characters and their dynamics however I’ll stop here for now to talk a little bit about how the movie structures it scenes.

Most oft he time the Movie follows Sidney and his schemes, and there are just some scenes here and there with him missing. And it is so much fun to see scenes building on each other, while his plans get more complicated. And to be honest at least for me there never is a dull moment. Because the movie is very good at making even little scenes matter later.

Maybe I can give you an example. These scenes are mostly there to show how Sidney works and acts, so they primarily exist to characterize him and I think they are very cool. So, Sidney goes to J.J.’s Column (I think) where he visits some kind of secretary who has information on what will be printed in the next issue. He flirts with her a little (again showing how charming he can be) however she already knows that he only wants information and tells him about a comedian without existing press agent who will be featured in the paper under the headline « Funniest man in New York » or something similar like that. That scene alone is fine, however it gets really cool when he later meets said comedian. He obvously wants to get hired so he tells the Comedian that he has connections that can get the comedian into J.J.‘s paper (which is a big deal). He then proceeds to fake a phone call with J.J. (It’s hilarious because he just calls his own secretary who hangs up confused about what he is talking about). He pretends to suggest an article about the comedian and even uses the same Headline he found out about earlier. After that he goes back tot he comedian, knowing fully well that the article will be published the next day. And later in the movie the comedian comes back to hire him. (At that point he get’s ignored though, because Sidney has bigger plans). Like, Sidney is awful, sexist, racist, manipulative and overall pretty bad but it is a real delight to see what plans he comes up with.

I want to also mention the visuals of the movie. Because they are gorgeous! The movie is in black and white which I did not like for a long time because I thought it made everything look washed out and kind of dull. However the contrast in Sweet Smell of Succes is very nice! There are bright highlights and deep shadows and the lighting is often used to convey a specific athmosphere. For example when half of the face of a character is completly covered in shadows. Another neat example is how the glasses of J.J. cast some sharp shadows on his face to make him seem more menacing. A lot of it is shot at nighttime in New York, where are a lot of lights, which makes a very cool backdrop.

It is also very cool how each indovidual shot subconsciously tells us something about the relationships between the characters. J.J. is often sitting but takes still more space up in the frame to show his dominance of a scene. Or sometimes the focus of the camera shifts slightly away from a conversation that is happening in the foreground to show Sidney in the back, because he orchestrated the situation.

In general the movie is full of cool, little things and tricks. That is in the script and the visuals. In one of my favourite scenes (not because oft he content but because of how it was shot) Susies Love interest gets surroundet by corrupt police men and before anything happens it cuts tot he drums oft the Jazz band that is playing in the club he just left. Our mind automatically makes the connection that he was beaten up pretty badly, without even seeing it.

Why is all of this important? Well, as someone who likes to watch movie reviews on Youtube I feel like a criticism I hear a lot is that a movie treats ist viewers like they are too dumb to understand subliminal messages and thus becomes boring or even insulting. It is also just a lot more fun to watch a movie that does not take you out of the story wit exposition and instead let’s you figure stuff out for yourself.

This all may sound like Sweet Smell of Success is a movie without a lot of taking. But that is very far from the truth. I would actually say that the dialogue is one of its biggest strengths! Not only informs you a lot about the characters, it also includes some of the coolest lines I have heard in any media. The lines  „Cat’s In The Bag … ” and “. . . And The Bag’s In The River” even served as episode titles for a show I also love very much : Breaking Bad. Side note, Sweet Smell of Sucess is also one of the favourite movies of the creator of Breaking Bad. Haha maybe that’s a more convincing argument to watch it that anything I could say. Anyways, the dialogue is also great at referencing itself at later points and creating awesome foreshadowing. 

I also want to talk about the music very briefly. I think the soundtrack fits the story and overal vibe of the setting perfectly. A cool little easter egg is that the Band of which Susies Love interest Steve is a part of is also the band who made the soundtrack fort he movie.

Just for fun I want to talk about my first viewing experience, which might include Spoilers. Maybe you can watch the movie first and come back later to compare your experience to mine. However the movie does not get ruined through Spoilers. I watched it a few times already and noticed something cool and new almost every time.

 For a little bit of context : I actully only watched the movie because I already liked Tony Curtis. By chance I caught Operation Petticoat on TV. And to be completly honest I just thought he was very handsome, so with nothing better to do I started to watch more movies he starred in. I did not expect to find one of my favourite movies of all time XD So I started watching and the first thing I noticed was that it was interesting to start the movie with the main character already stressed and angry. I feel like normally we get so see the characters in their „normal „ state, which get’s disrupted by an inciting incident. Sweet Smell of Success throws you right in the action though. On second thought, stressed and angry might me Sidneys default state…

Something to know is that a lot of the audience back when the movie was released did not like that Tony Curtis portayed such a scheming character. They expected him tob e a nice guy like he was in pretty much all of his other movies. And the funny thing is, I did too. It took me soooo long to finally realize that Sidney was just not meant to be a nice character. I think in one of his first scenes he even says „I‘m not a good person“ or something along those lines. For an explanation: A lot of the movie was very difficult for me to understand in english, partly because I just didn’t know the words they were using and partly because Sweet Smell of Succes’s story line is not that simple. So fort he majority oft he film I sat there a little confused but still intrigued. And then came the scene in which Sidney tries to persuade a woman into sleeping with a man for his own gain and clearly against her wishes. And I was like „???? that is not ok Sidney! How am I supposed to root for you now? Is this a 50’s thing? Did they think back then something like that was ok?“. And then later when he plants the drugs on Steve I thought for sure he would go back and save him from the police, as a redeeming moment. And when he didn’t it finally occured to me that we weren’t supposed to root for Sidney in the first place. And that is when the movie got super interesting. Because Susie pretty much finds out that Sidney and J.J. were behind the assault of her Lover (though it is a little ambiguous). And she and Sidney meet up in her and J.J.‘s apartement and honestly my heart beat so fast while watching this scene! Because you really don’t know what will happen. If there is a happy end for the main character, that would not be really a happy end, because the main character is a selfish, horrible person.

*Major Spoiler incoming* At the end Susie tries to jump of her balcony, however Sidney is barly able to rescues her. She is obviously very distraught by the whole situation and just in that Moment J.J. comes back home. As I said before the movie is not always very clear with what is going on inside of the minds of the characters however this is how I understood the ending: Sidney got a message from J.J. which ordered him to come to his apartement, however when he arrives J.J. is not there… just Susie. I am pretty sure she called him there to make it seem like he was directly responsible for her death. This way she would have taken revenge on Sidney and J.J. simultaniously, while also escaping her current seemingly hopeless living condition. And I guess this ending would have worked, however it would have been pretty dark. I love happy endings and I think the actual ending is as close as you can get to one with a movie like this. The dialogue is very well written, especially at the end. It is honestly a little to difficult to summerize all the nuances, because there are a lot of lies and truths that are made out to be lies and so on. I think you’ll need to see it for yourself.

I love the ending because it seems like every character gets what they deserve (except for Steve, poor guy is in the hospital) Sidney told Susie the truths about their schemes, which made J.J. turn on him and send a corrupt cop after him. Not only gets he beat up and who knows what happens after that but also are the chances of him achieving the goal he chased after the whole movie : finding succes, pretty much down to zero. Susie finally breaks free from her brother and goes to her boyfriend. I am really glad she did not need to die but instead gets to have a better future, symbolized by a ray of light she walks into in her last scene. You could say that J.J. gets of a little to light, however it is stated that Susie is the only family he has and that he cares for her (though in a crontrolling way). And with her breaking free from him he lost the only human connection he actually wanted in his life. At any rate it feels like a very satisfying conclusion to me.

[internetgiraffekid1673]

Some of my favorite art actually is just the list of "bad" stuff ON PUROSE. I'm preaching to the choir, but I don't get to gush about this one enough, so:

Let's take one of my favorite musicals of all time: 35mm, a Musical Exhibition. Where photography inspires music and music in turn inspires photography. By Ryan Scott Oliver. The tumblr squad probably is aware of the song "The Ballad of Sara Berry," which is the penultimate number and very popular. Each song is a self contained story with a photograph to match with overarching themes about connection and the human condition. It is an absolutely fantastic musical, go listen to it and then listen to Ryan Scott Oliver's commentary.

It is also delightfully gay, very creepy, cusses a lot, rather anti-religious (although more in an "addressing religious trauma and the ways people twist religion for their own reasons" way than a "religion is bad" way), and UNSETTLING. And I love it. It makes you think and feel in a way that stereotypically pleasant art doesn't. It makes you address all the highs and the lows, and that is an excellent feeling to sit in sometimes.

Looking through the list again, at least one number from the musical ticks every box:

Makes you feel weird---the whole damn musical

Saps Energy---The Party Goes with You is on my bedtime playlist. Immaculate Deception is a gentle waltz with a rather sinister message, and hemming and hawing is a lullaby with a bad ending.

Sets off a downward spiral---I needed a really good cry after quite a lot of numbers, and it was some great healthy catharsis. Cut you a piece comes to mind almost immediately.

Confuses the mind---CRAAAAAAAZZZYTOOOOOOOWN! (And a lot of others).

Produces Stagnation---sometimes it's good to sit and stew in your thoughts. You don't have to be going going going all the time. I listened to Immaculate Deception and Make Me Happy on loop for like 3 days, just because I liked the way they sounded and made me feel, and I didn't have any particular original thoughts on them. I just felt like I needed to listen multiple times.

Weed---I mean this in the best way: plenty of these songs sound like they were written while high, although you can decide what exactly Mr. Oliver was using.

Unstructured and obsessively anti-rhythm--- again, the whole damn musical. That's kinda the point actually.

Instinctively Recognized as a Scam---I don't even know what that's supposed to mean, but seeing as how Immaculate Deception is literally about a scam, I think we get the point for this.

A malevolently bad map---again, idk what the hell they mean with this, but with how unconventional, unstructured, unafraid, and unsettling the music is (it deals with some heavy stuff) I think we get the point (seriously though, Why Must We Tell Them Why is a fuck you to explaining your existence).

Obfuscation, lies, resentment---GOOD LADY, MY BELOVED! THIS IS THE WHOLE SONG! THAT'S IT, THAT'S THE SONG! Most of Hemming and Hawing, plenty of Mama Let Me In, a fair amount of On Monday is like this, most of Immaculate Deception, a lot of Leave Luanne . . . You know what, just a lot of the songs, I'll shut up now.

Wishes to destroy the canon---so very very much. This musical says FUCK societal norms! If you want a VERY tender, but kind of intense gay love song, listen to the Seraph. Again, each song is a self contained story, so no outside context is needed.

Mocks the concept of values---literally every song. Like. Mama Let Me In literally says "Love the sinner and love the sin." The 3rd song has the POV character selling off a 2 year old to a crack dealer. IDK what else you need.

Enfeebles life---This musical has a LOT of death, so like, yes, but also go in prepared to have your soul wrought. You will almost certainly cry.

Spits on beauty and actively celebrates ugliness---oh my gosh so many of the numbers. This musical doesn't shy away from how messy and complicated and ugly and even evil humanity can be, and it encourages you to keep going, keep living, keep making connections anyway because that ugliness is so goddamn beautiful in it's own right.

Whining, coping, seething, and a waste of time---It is a musical that is seething, is full of coping, has plenty of whiny people. The only point it doesn't hit? Not a waste of time. I have never felt like I wasted time listening to 35mm.

Tag yourself as this list of “bad art” features, according to a twitter fascist

[musicarenagh]

Songs That Burn and Rise: Sophia Stephens’ “Love & Grief” as a Modern-Day Phoenix Is love just the ghost that haunts grief? Or maybe grief is the echo of love after it’s shouted into the abyss. Sophia Stephens, young yet wielding the wisdom of centuries, offers no definitive answers in her album “Love & Grief”. You’d think an 18-year-old from Indiana would be focused on prom dress dilemmas or texting etiquette, but Stephens? She’s somewhere else altogether, tangled up in the quiet war between two primal forces. https://open.spotify.com/album/0oy2GP7TFPjnWCRMSwGEVS?si=cI09IUetSRq4N-_GoeWWkQ This isn’t your ordinary pop album. Sure, it’s acoustic-driven – plenty of warmth and heartbreak wrapped up in melodies with just enough gloss to catch radio waves – but listen closely. You can hear something more than catchy hooks. Stephens sings as though she's peeling her own skin back, letting the listener transmute her burdens into their own. Heavy stuff masked behind a pop-jacket. Words dangle with a weird fragility, feeling both ancient and fresh, like an old journal rediscovered under your childhood bed. The album doesn’t progress track by track so much as it expands spirally. The themes of love’s rise and inevitable descent play out like the lifecycle of a butterfly. No, scratch that – maybe it’s a phoenix, burning brightly only to rise from the cinders of grief. At times, the songs are deceptively gentle, like watching waves pull the beach away pebble by pebble. [caption id="attachment_57664" align="alignnone" width="1170"] Songs That Burn and Rise: Sophia Stephens’ “Love & Grief” as a Modern-Day Phoenix[/caption] But the real trick? Stephens makes grief the protagonist. Most songwriters do the opposite. Behind the acoustic chords and sweeping vocals, there's an unsettling undercurrent, like she realizes that love might just be an intermission in grief's much bigger play. By the album's close, you’re left wondering: Can love and grief ever live in peace, or are they doomed to circle each other like orbiting stars, always teetering on the edge of collision? Follow Sophia Stephens on Facebook.

[culttvblog]

The Invisible Man: Man of Influence (Seventies TV Season)

The introduction to this series of posts about 1970s TV shows can be found here: https://www.tumblr.com/culttvblog/729351469162233856/seventies-tv-season-introduction

I'm sad to be blogging about The Invisible Man since David McCallum has died so recently, and also delighted because revisiting the show for this post has significantly improved my opinion of it. I have actually had the box set for some time, and have definitely watched all the way through it before, not been very impressed, and added it to the collection to be revisited at some point because it wasn't utter dross to be thrown out with some violence. I am glad that that point has come because on revisiting it, this show is an absolute joy.

The title gives the premise away, but briefly it is that Daniel Westlin is a scientist who discovers how to make a person invisible and tries it successfully on himself. Most of the rest of the series is him undertaking adventures, in which invisibility would be useful, for the US government, with his wife.

I have identified the mistake I made with this show before and if you have never seen it, I would suggest you skip the pilot (on the box set) and start straight on into the series. The reason is that the pilot sets you up wrong, by dealing with the difficulties of being invisible, which are naturally not negligible, and the moral difficulty that obviously the process would be wanted for military use. In the pilot this rather ruins Westlin's life and he's also stuck with being invisible, with no hope of a cure. In the actual series this heavy stuff is just abandoned, Westlin has somehow forgotten his moral quandary and ignores the problems that being invisible would cause, and the show has a humorous touch which makes it a jolly romp.

Honestly, I wish I'd given this show more attention sooner because it's an absolute delight: the sort of show where you know it's going to resolve alright, but you're not worried about what is happening because you know it isn't real. It's real comfort television. Despite the way it is quite similar to many another detective show of the period, of course it's the invisibility that gives it this unreality. It isn't exactly science fiction, because the fiction of invisibility isn't really the subject, but it's always there. This show isn't in the vein of shows like Sky or The Owl Service which drew on the magical/occult/folk horror interests of the time, but this episode almost pokes fun at those things by representing a medium who is fake but is believed by intelligent, educated people.

For the lover of old TV one of the interesting things, watching it fifty years after it was made, is the obvious glee the team took in the sheer number of special effects, and the way they are all 1970s vintage special effects. If a door is opened by an invisible person in media nowadays it will certainly be computer generated, but in the 1970s we know that door actually opened and was filmed in real time. Full use is made of green screen (although I suspect actually blue screen because that colour is largely missing from the show). It's literally got every trick available at the time.

Westlin's invisibility means that a theme runs through the show about seeing, not seeing, and deception. This is very pronounced in this episode, because Westlin and Mrs Westlin investigate a fake medium. The fake medium makes a politician change his mind about an energy source but this plot is handled with a lightness which doesn't make this episode at all stodgy.

I can't disagree with the obvious criticisms of this show and they're all over the internet, but briefly, the show doesn't deal with the huge contradiction that Westlin has a moral problem with the possible military uses his discovery would be used to, before without explanation becoming an agent for the US government and asset for the company where he discovered it. There is also a repeated criticism that the show, by its nature, becomes rather formulaic. Something happens, Westling uses his invisiblity to investigate, he sets up Mrs Westlin to do something to resolve the plot but she gets into trouble, and Westlin resolves it using invisibility.

Reportedly (and we all know how reliable internet rumours are) one of the reasons for the show's cancellation after one series was that people were incensed by the realisation that notionally when McCallum is invisible, he would be naked. This despite the fact that of course we can't see him! I have even read a couple of more recent online reviews by people who find this realisation an incredible sticking point for this show.

I honestly find this so surprising because my personal reaction was just to think that it wasn't real and of course he wouldn't actually be naked! This is perhaps a perfect example of how the artifical world of television can mess with your head, although I'm sure everyone reading this knows that in reality what the crew would have seen when McCallum undressed was him dressed in a green or blue morph suit to make him go invisible.

This show is one which I really wish I'd paid more attention to sooner, and may well be appearing here again.

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[artistpicks]

Category is: The Art of GIF

Welcome to November’s Artist Picks series! This month, we’ve invited @catswilleatyou to share posts surrounding the theme, “The Art of GIF.”

Here is what they have to say about it below!

What does “The Art of GIF” mean to you?

The GIF is an art form that was born on the web. Videos existed in other places; paintings, photos existed in other places. GIFs just didn’t exist anywhere until the internet came along. Many artists were thrilled to be at the moment in art history when this medium was born. Even though the compression techniques are outdated and the functionality has been surpassed by other formats, the perfect infinite loop of the GIF has yet to be achieved by another file format. MP4s still have a hiccup when they start over. While GIFs are widely used for quick jokes and communication, many artists still believe there is more depth to this medium. I believe that as digital art continues to gain acceptance as a high art form, GIFs will eventually be realized as a cornerstone to it. To me, the art of GIF is about working within limitations and birthing something infinite.

Why did you pick these particular posts?

A few years ago I started creating GIFs that are Phenakistiscopes. I couldn’t find any resources on how to make Phenakistiscopes, but I found lots of tons of centuries old Phenakistiscopes that were making amazing GIFs. I sort of backwards engineered my own method of making them and I continue to explore this medium with GIFs. There’s a lot to be learned by limiting yourself to a small number of frames. I keep thinking I’m done making these but every time I work on one, I learn a new animation trick.

(Below are specific mentions of the artists @catswilleatyou chose posts from.)

@volvulent is a mysterious artist to me. I know nothing about their personal life. I’ve never been able to find them on other social media platforms. I feel so fortunate to have stumbled on their work many years ago. They are a complete master of organic form and hand drawn infinite loops. You can follow some of the shapes on these drawings for several seconds, and then when you go back and study the art closely, you discover that the whole looping sequence is only fraction of a second long.

@katecursed uses old and outdated technology in ways I’ll never understand. Tons of analog CRT TVs, oscilloscopes, old video games, and synths. I love it. She grew up around this stuff and is extremely knowledgeable. Her GIFs are timeless.

@alcrego is an absolute workhorse and in my opinion, a historically important GIF artist. He has an instantly recognizable voice using almost entirely black and white. I think he would even go so far as to say he only uses light. The minimalism is always deceptive—there is so much depth to his exploration of GIF as an artistic medium.

I’ve also chosen some very “classic” looking @kidmograph GIFs. I credit kidmograph with bringing the retro/video game style back into fashion about a decade ago. When he started posting this stuff, I hadn’t seen anything like it. Shortly after (and still to this day), there was a huge movement of artists that co-opted this approach. I wanted to include their work here because when you see this look, I want you to know where the echo started. I also want to say that this is just one of many tricks kidmograph has. They explore a wide range of styles and approaches, and they are continually evolving.

@mrdiv always had such a knack for color, compositing, and simplicity. When I was first learning 3D, they were a great artist for me to study because I saw how much emotion and reaction they can get with using very very little. I love the minimalism of their work.

I love how @maxcapacity incorporates vintage equipment in his process to create such wild psychedelic GIFs. They’re always pretty saturated with lovely colors. For me, there’s a heavy hitting moment with this work where I’m watching my childhood get spit back to me in perhaps a more truthful version than I even recall it. It’s hard to explain but the nostalgia lures me in, and then I’m cut with a darkness by them. There’s also some humor sprinkled in.

@zbags’s work is instantly recognizable with the way they use creepy lively eyeballs behind faces. Collin’s work is disturbing and fun. There’s always an added bonus in reading his wild descriptions and titles. When there was a file size limit to GIFs being posted on Tumblr, I was always impressed by their ability to get a very long and detailed animation into a small file. I think he’s doing lots of frame rate tricks I still don’t think I’ve ever figured it out.

Find out more about Artists Picks here!

[cristalconnors]

TOP 20 SONGS OF 2020

20. “BELOW THE CLAVICLE”- EARTHEATER

“The meaning hasn’t come up yet. It’s still under the surface below the clavicle.”

It isn’t just Alexandra Drewchin’s ear splitting soprano when she hits that impossibly high B, practically shrieking out the “cle” syllable of clavicle, though that’s undoubtedly when I first knew that Eartheater’s avant folk was for me- it’s also the cinematic, lush strings, both bowed and plucked (is that acoustic guitar or harp? I genuinely can’t tell), deepening and complicating the sonic texture of Drewchin’s study of parsing through emotions you aren’t ready to make sense of yet. 

19. “PUSSY TALK”- CITY GIRLS, FT. DOJA CAT

“This pussy so ghetto, this pussy speak ebonics”

“WAP”’s funnier, classless Irish twin, though it’s important to note “Pussy Talk” came first. Yung Miami and JT enlist Doja Cat to expound on everything their pussies deserve and will absolutely settle for nothing less than. And why should they when they’re spitting out verses this inspiredly hilarious with such confidence and flow? 

18. “LICK IN HEAVEN”- JESSY LANZA

“Once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning...”

Jessy Lanza is talking about losing your cool, letting your emotions get the best of you and lashing out instead of letting cooler heads prevail, but when that earworm of a chorus hits- “once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning” - I can’t stop spinning. I’m that woman on the single art, a wine mom lost in the delirium of the dance floor and in Lanza’s hypnotic, fragmented rhythms.  

17. “GASLIGHTER”- THE CHICKS

“Boy, you know exactly what you did on my boat!”

“Gaslighter” finds Natalie Ames and her Chicks at their most simultaneously ruthless and ebullient, ripping Ames’s ex-husband Adrian Pasdar a new asshole and ratcheting up the righteous anger of “Goodbye Earl” tenfold, channeling it into a glorious wall of sound in what might be their most rousing, emotionally resonant chorus in their storied career. 

16. “HANNAH SUN”- LOMELDA

“Hannah do no harm...”

While “Hannah Sun” begins as an exquisitely observed rumination on grappling with long-distance, pining for someone who’s a continent away, it gradually becomes clear that Hannah Read blames herself for putting the distance between her and the subject of her longing, and that the distance isn’t strictly literal. Skittering synths (or is that distorted flute?) complicate and enrich the texture of the song, allowing it to build organically and stunningly towards a heartbreaking plea to herself- “Hannah, do no harm.”

15. “FIRE”- WAXAHATCHEE

“And when I turn back around will you drain me back out? Will you let me believe that I broke through?”

When I’d drive back and forth between Dallas and Austin over and over again when I was in college, I’d often get off I-35 past Waco and take the back roads through towns I’d never heard of, the sun setting spectacularly behind the titular hills of Hill Country that were beginning to roll out in earnest. I think about that a lot when listening to “Fire,” a song dripping in rural Americana that was, unsurprisingly, inspired by a road trip. We’ve probably all been Katie Crutchfield as she crossed the bridge into West Memphis- alone in the car, awed by the simple beauty of the American countryside, making speeches to ourselves about our past mistakes and figuring out a way forward. 

14. “3AM”- HAIM

“On the screen and in my jeans, just make me feel good.”

On an album full of genre departures and decidedly darker themes than we’ve typically heard from Haim in their near decade of syncopated bubblegum pop rock, “3AM” stands out not only as their most effective stab at pastiche, slipping into the trappings of contemporary R&B with shocking ease and gusto, but also as their most unabashedly fun track in their entire oeuvre. “I think you can hear the amount of joy and laughs we had making this song” Alana Haim tells Apple Music, and you absolutely can.

13. “QADIR”- NICK HAKIM

“We’re sinking down a hole without thinking about our loved ones who might be shrinking...”

I often wonder if I’m putting enough effort into maintaining my relationships with friends I don’t see regularly, who live several time zones away, living their own lives while I live mine. When the thought of sustaining simple correspondence becomes overwhelming, it’s easy for months to go by before you realize you haven’t spoken to one of your closest friends. “QADIR” plays less like a eulogy for a friend gone too soon (though of course it is that) than a plea to the listener to put in the work. It’s worth it. You never know when it’ll be too late.

12. “LEVITATING”- DUA LIPA

“Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes shining just the way we are.”

Just a few bars of that delightfully bouncy, extra-terrestrial beat is enough to launch me into space. It’s so refreshing to hear a song that remembers that pop is supposed to be joyful and is best when it’s a bit silly. When discussing this track with Apple Music, Dua Lipa cites Austin Powers as inspiration, elaborating that “if I do a video for this, Mike Meyers has to be in it.” Can’t you just see them together, performing a farcical pas de deux of seduction like the spiritual successor to “Beautiful Stranger?”

11. “RIQUIQUI”- ARCA

“Love in the face of fear! Fear in the face of God!”

Arca’s made a career of harnessing chaos and somehow making sense of it. On an album that finds her embracing more traditional, accessible song structures, “Riquiqui” is a reminder that even when working within an AB structure, she’s still breaking rules left and right and having a blast doing it. She’s also never sounded so ferociously empowered in either her femininity or in her Venezuelan identity, rattling off local colloquialisms with affection and verve without a second thought as to who’s going to understand it. 

10. “FANTASY”- AGAINST ALL LOGIC

“I think about you all the time...”

Or, the musical embodiment of this gif:

When Nicolas Jaar’s tormented synths and crunching beats give way to Beyoncé’s unmistakable alto, it is indeed quite the shock. But should it be? Even if 2017-2019 finds him ditching the dancefloor in favor of more severe, unforgiving soundscapes, his already varied career has shown us nothing’s off limits to him. So why not reinvent Beyoncé’s iconic “Baby Boy” into an industrial, vaguely sinister certified bop that arguably surpasses the original?

9. “PEOPLE, I’VE BEEN SAD”- CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS

“If you disappear, then I’m disappearing, too.”

“People, I’ve been sad” plays out with the vulnerability and intimacy of a tumblr text post you put out in the middle of the night, only to hastily delete later when it gets no notes. It forgoes flowery language in favor of just getting to the point. “I’ve been sad.” Héloïse Adelaïde Letissier blows up this deceptively simple sentiment with richly layered textures and a big screen gloss not to offer any remedies but instead to offer solidarity. We’re all in this hell together.

8. “DESCRIBE”- PERFUME GENIUS

“Can you just find him for me?”

Mike Hadreas has never sounded so hopeless. Utilizing harsh, rattling guitar that would make Kevin Shields swoon, he conveys the experience of being so estranged from happiness and joy that you need to rely on others to describe the sensation to you. But how, when exploring darker textures than he ever has before, does he make despondency sound so divine? 

7. “4 AMERICAN DOLLARS”- U.S. GIRLS

“No matter how much you get to have, you will still die and that’s the only thing.”

Meg Remy picks up where she left off on “4 American Dollars,” reviving the subversive pastiche she mastered on In a Poem Unlimited, this time harnessing the power of funk to dismantle the fallacies we’re taught about the virtues of capitalism. Heavy stuff, but Remy makes it less didactic than joyous, ensuring the listener will be singing “I don’t believe in pennies and nickels and dimes and dollars and pesos and pounds and rupees and yen and rubles” until they start to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t, either. 

6. “STUPID LOVE”- LADY GAGA

“I freak out, I freak out, I freak out, I freak out!”

Due to a healthy spirit of contrarianism mixed with a touch of internalized homophobia and genuine bafflement at her universal appeal and praise, I was a proud Lady Gaga hater for as long as she’d been a cultural entity. I just didn’t get her at all and loved that about myself. Annoying, I know. 2020 was the year I was finally ready to let that all go. Just before the world fell apart in March, I was out at Flaming Saddles (RIP) with friends the night this song came out and by the sixteenth time it played, I understood why it was inducing such hysteria. This was a cultural shift. After a frustrating near-decade of Gaga subverting expectations so thoroughly that she was actively working against her strengths and sabotaging her cultural ubiquity in the process, coupled with the most frightening era of political upheaval in our lifetimes, she was finally ready to save us and be Lady Gaga again. Booming synth, drag sensibilities, absurd thematic conceits- all was right in the world. For the first time in a long time, people had something to be hopeful about, and as I danced that night, I felt that hope, too. 

5. “SHELLFISH MADEMOISELLE”- RÓISÍN MURPHY

“How dare you sentence me to a lifetime without dancing?”

As soon as that bass starts (the funkiest bassline in the history of music?) it’s like Róisín Murphy’s snake charming oboe, coaxing even the most stalwart curmudgeon onto the dancefloor and keeping them there, dancing frantically and involuntarily like the citizens of Strasbourg in 1518, trying their best to keep up with Murphy who isn’t even breaking a sweat, commanding the masses with a sultry remove, beckoning you closer, pulling you inexorably deeper into the mass of gyrating bodies and whispering in your ear “come and have a dance with yer mum.”

4. “PARTY 4 U”- CHARLI XCX

“I only threw this party for you...”

As PC Music / Bubblegum Bass / whatever you want to call it enters its second decade, Charli XCX proves not only that there’s still new textures to explore within it, but also that no one can exploit its artifice to get down to emotional truths like she can. How can she make something this slick sound so vulnerable? “I only threw this party for you” she croons over and over again over glorious syncopated synths that build exquisitely, reaching their climax only to immediately fall away, until it’s just her and her trusty autotune, pleading with the subject of the song to just come to the damn party. But they won’t, of course. They never do, do they?

3. “WAP”- CARDI B, FT. MEGAN THEE STALLION

“I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat!”

Sometimes you just immediately know you’re living through a significant cultural moment. No, not COVID. I’m talking about the experience of hearing Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s instant classic “WAP” for the first time, a titanic meeting of the minds that finds both of them at the apex of their cultural influence and at their most undeniable. Can the argument be made that these two aren’t the two best rappers in the game right now? How could you hear this inspiredly filthy sex positive juggernaut, where Cardi and Megan are trading the sickest verses of their careers, and not think these two deserve the world? 

2. “KEROSENE!”- YVES TUMOR

“I can be your baby in real life, sugar. I can live in your dreams.”

If the 2010′s were all about the pop-ification of all music, trading in live instrumentation in favor of polished synths, 2020 forcefully announced the return of the electric guitar when Yves Tumor and Diana Gordon’s back and forth lustfully submissive declarations of desire suddenly gave way to that nasty guitar rip lifted from Uriah Heep’s “Weep in Silence” to announce yet another cultural shift in a year chock full of them- rock and roll was, indeed, here to stay. 

1. “I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME”- FIONA APPLE

“I move with the trees in the breeze, I know that time is elastic.”

We live and we learn. Years spent soul searching and on self-discovery shape us into better, smarter people, progressively knowing and understanding ourselves and the world around us more and more clearly, but Fiona Apple knows that none of that can quell the ferocious desire to be loved by someone. By anyone. By you, whoever that is. We can know that time is elastic and that when we’re gone all our particles will disband and disperse and then we’ll be back in the pulse, and we can know that none of this stuff actually matters, but still- we want, we want, we want. 

[syubub]

2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

[sevendeadlyvices]

Poker Buddies AU: Max and Memories Notes

Something I compiled for @i-cant-thinkof-anything-new Poker Buddies AU they have going. Now I used the Poker Night wiki to get this and I thought this would be helpful for any Sam and Max or Poker Night at the Inventory Fans in general. That and I have my own Poker Night At The Inventory AU and headcannons that I need to work on too. The first information is generally Max’s poker strategy in Poker Night At The Inventory:

When it comes to reading the opponent's strategies, Max's will prove to be a big problem. Due to his lack of knowledge on the subject, his poker strategy seems non-existent. His choice of whether to call, raise, or fold tends to come out of nowhere. Sometimes, Max will or will not have a good hand, so he will be very hard to read. His strategies are completely random; he might bluff, be cautious, or be aggressive. Sometimes he will just keep on betting or keep on folding.

I would call Max an unpredictable poker player at times. There’s this tell he has that if his left hand quivers, he’s bluffing, but other than that, you’re on your own with him. 

Next is his relationships with the characters of both Poker Nights:

Heavy: Max seems to have a good strong friendship with the Heavy, asking him about how his career is going and what kind of weapon he could recommend.

Strong Bad: Mostly casual, having the odd talk with Strong Bad when Max is compelled to tell some sort of story.

Tycho: His relationship with Tycho seems to be, again, a casual friendship. They share many of the same interests, although from time to time Max will be slightly put off by Tycho's odd behavior.

The Player: Max often thinks The Player plays too conservatively, especially when not calling a huge bet of Max's.

Sam: Max very much loves the big guy. Max is Sam's long-time partner, best friend, husband, and sidekick.

Brock Samson: Brock finds Max annoying like Claptrap, but also finds it much easier to ignore him, even when Max is physically attacking him. He also has some level of respect for the lagomorph for everything he and Sam overcame as members of the Freelance Police.

Claptrap: Much like Sam, Claptrap is a fan of Max for their games and comics. He seems closer to Max than Sam due to the fact that Max isn't as annoyed by him as Sam is. Max's love for violence makes the robot think he would fit in very well on Pandora. If Claptrap is knocked out before Sam, he will often sit next to Max for a while. Also, during a Showdown, Max will stand right next to Claptrap, wondering what the next card will be.

Ash Williams: Ash has considerable respect for Max and Sam's career and is otherwise "okay" with the lagomorph. However, Ash also displays a few moments of apprehension and even downright concern when Max' insanity acts up, usually in his theme eliminations.

GLaDOS: Max doesn't seem to mind the murderous AI as much as the other characters and occasionally joins in when she insults or annoys the other characters (primarily Sam).

This is from the wiki, so take this with a grain of salt.

And finally, with spoilers in the cut:

The Memories I would focus on for the Epic Texas Hold Em Matches! Note that it’s not all the conversations from both games, but here’s the ones I found so far that might be interesting to incorporate for the AU. I’ll bold the ones that would seem more angsty for the AU:

Max: I don't know a lot about card games, truth be told. But, I take it you're a little bit of a beginner, yes? Strong Bad: Are you talking to (pronounces it as moy) moi? Max: You betcha. You're as green as the bologna in Sam's mini-fridge. Strong Bad: (angrily) Shut up, Stitch. Max: (cheerily) It's OK. It just means you have to adopt a wanton strategy of wild deception. Strong Bad: Hmm... Not the woist idea I ever hoid. Max: (furrows brow) Get into their heads.

Max: You know what I love? Tycho: What's that? Max: Destroying wave after wave of the undead. Tycho: WORD UP! How do you roll? Max: With my trusty side arm of course. Tycho: I'm more of an auto-shotgun guy. Max: Oooh! Heavy: This is good weapon no? Max: Sam and I had to resign ourselves to pistols when our cleaning bill started going through the roof. Tycho: Yeah, its like ichor? Oxyclean ain't cuttin' it. Max: This pelt is dry clean only.

Tycho: Max, how'd you learn to play cards? Max: Funny you should ask! This one time, Sam and I were busting up a crime syndicate down in Atlantic City. A road job. Tycho: Indeed. Max: Yeah! So we're tailing this low level mafia bum for an hour and he pulls up outside a casino and before he can go in Sam says, "Well little buddy, we better nab this guy quicker than a Pittsburgh driver taking a left on a green in rush hour." I couldn't have agreed more. So I grab a tire iron out of the back seat, right, hop out of the Desoto, and pummel this guy like a piñata. Tycho: Yow! Max: Blindfold and all! Tycho: ...That doesn't really answer my question. Max: You asked me a question?

Tycho: Hey Max, how do you like being a freelance police officer? Max: It's the best. Tycho: I bet it is. Max: Oh, but that's not all I do. I'm also available for babysitting, bat mitzvahs and general shakedowns. You know anybody who needs work? Tycho: See, this why I think we get along. You're a Renaissance man. Max: You need anybody roughed up? Tycho: There's a bird at the pet store that's been giving me a little beak, yeah. Max: Oh ho, putting a wise acre in his place is my specialty!

Heavy: I will make hat from you, little bunny. Max: How 'bout I just sit on your head and shoot people? Heavy: (thinks about this) ...This is good idea.

Heavy: Tiny Heavy, who is your favorite to kill in war? Strong Bad: Hmm, in WAR? Probably those Green Helmets. You know, the guys who don't have any cool weapons or gimmicks, and come in a discount three-pack. Heavy: To kill spy is glorious thing! How about you, Max? You are killing type. Max: My favorite enemy? {gasps} That's like asking me to choose between my children! Heavy: {laughs heartily} You crack me up, little bunny!

Heavy: You look very familiar, bunny. Max: How closely do you follow the Manhattan crime blotter? Wait, you didn't go the Spiro Agnew School of the Arts, did you? Tycho: You attended? Didn't take you for the book learnin' type. Max: No, but Sam and I pinched their gym teacher in a black market jock strap ring in the 80's. I'd be surprised if any student didn't remember a dog choking out a large man with a unibrow.

Strong Bad: I don't trust you one bit, ra-bbit. Max: It's ok, I don't trust myself. Strong Bad: How do we know that you don't have a never ending stack of aces wherever you put your gun? Max: Well, you don't, but you're welcome to look!

Strong Bad: So... Max. You're like one of those (pronounces as poke mons) poke-mons, right? Max: (narrows eyes) My genus and phylum is a mystery to all mankind. Strong Bad: Because I'd love to see some prepubescent pointy-haired kid run in here and stick you inside of a baseball (laughs). (in a high pitched voice, with a smile) That would be hilarious. Max: Are you talking about the red-capped kidnapper who terrorized the fauna on the Upper West Side for months? Strong Bad: Maybe. Max: Because Sam, Flint, and I caught him trying to stuff a chimpanzee into his knapsack, and made him cry for his mommy.

Strong Bad: I wonder if this dump is haunted? Max: (cheerily) Ooh, I hope so. There's something about being able to terrorize a spectral being without it up and dying on you that (furrows eyebrows) I just love. Heavy: (sadly, lowers his head) I do not like ghost. Max: It's OK Mr. Weapons. I've got extensive experience with zombies and vampires. (points toward himself) I can handle a little ghost. Heavy: (with large eyes) You will take care of ghost for me? Max: (cheerily) You betcha. Heavy: (cheerily, nods his head) I like you, tiny rabbit.

(Brock) GLaDOS: Brock Samson is eliminated. Max: GERONIMO! (lands on Brock's head and starts to gnaw on it, to no effect) Die, die, die! Brock: (gets up) I'll be at the bar.

(Claptrap) GLaDOS: Claptrap is eliminated due to lack of funds. Max: Wet willy, wet willy! (sticks a finger in his mouth and inserts it into a hole in Claptrap's side) Claptrap: Hey! That's not my ear, it's my... (both are electrified and fall from chair)

(Ash) GLaDOS: Ashley Williams is eliminated. Ash gets up and reaches for his chainsaw, only to realize it's not there. Max is holding it, standing a foot or so behind him. Max: (grinning maliciously) Looking for something? (looks at Sam normally) Hey, check it out, Sam! I'm a tree surgeon! Sam: (whispering to Ash) He's not really a tree surgeon...! Ash looks worried. Max: (revs up chainsaw) Open wide and say "ah!" (chases Ash away)