#stupid sexy lawyers

[strawwritesfic]

wait they get hotter?!

[amymbona]

What if you met Patrick Zweig on that crisp summer evening of 2011, crawling through the streets of Atlanta like a dead body, his stupid gray shirt wrinkled, curls messy and a pout on his adorable face. He has just fucked Tashi like his life is supposed to end tomorrow, like it's his last action on this Earth, and he's fucking miserable.

And you, a gorgeous, neat woman, very successful - a lawyer or a business woman - just about to leave the local bar after a night of celebration with you colleagues when he staggers in. It happens pretty quickly, and you're not even sure how exactly, but the younger guy's lips are soon on yours and he's desperately grasping onto your clothes as if you're gonna evaporate.

The way he fucks you that night is completely different to the way he fucked Tashi - tired, sloppy, almost childish - and you think he's crying too. You let him snuggle into the warmth of your chest, deciding to allow him to spend the night at your place. In the morning, he's surprised by waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs.

While munching onto the warm, proper breakfast and watching the outline of your body move smoothly under your silk robe, he tells you his name is Patrick, that he's 24 and a tennis player. A miserable one - you can see. He's sitting in your kitchen like a dirty mutt, almost begging to be taken care of. With his mouth full - he has no manners, you see - he calls you hot and sexy, failing to deliver a compliment that a woman like you would actually appreciate.

Later on, he lets you know that he really has nowhere to be, that if you want to, he can stay and make you feel even better than he did yesterday. And when you allow him to, quite aloof, you end up being the one making him feel good. It's comical, and Patrick feels like he's a goddamn toddler when you run him a bath and lend him some clothes after your ex-husband. Patrick stays at your place for a whole week.

The two of you exchange phone numbers, an action you assume is only symbolic, as Patrick has to travel to the other side of the States for a match, while you continue your meetings with clients and shine in the court room every so often. So it's obviously a surprise when your phone suddenly buzzes, a little Patrick - Aug 8th glowing on the screen. Apparently, he's currently in Nashville, offering to hop on an airplane and be at your place tomorrow morning. You don't refuse.

After his arrival, Patrick is still the same, giving you his signature and yet totally see-through smug attitude. He's dressed in that same fucking shirt, the slogan punching you like a laugh in your face. I TOLD YA.

The two of you fuck and fuck and fuck, Patrick spends the whole evening buried between your legs, his pink tongue gently swirling around your clit while you respond to some emails. Shortly after midnight, he falls asleep, nose buried between your slick folds. You wake him up with a handjob when the sun rises, listening to his sleepy whimpers and gentle curses, telling him that it's okay and he doesn't have to do anything, just enjoy it.

After that, and everything else, Patrick doesn't feel like leaving at all. The tender treatment he has been receiving from you is something unknown, something not even Art or Tashi could ever give him. He tells you about the two and cries a bit, and that exactly makes your heart swell.

So you propose an offer - a life-changing one - that he stays with you, that you will take care of him, treat him like he deserves to be treated and give him all the love he needs. All of that under one condition. He continues pursuing tennis.

Patrick agrees, obviously, he'd be a fool to walk away from you. And so within the next few weeks, he's completely moved to your place, has his own spot in your bed and on the sofa, has his toothbrush in the bathroom and gets to eat how much food he desires. The relationship between the two of you blossoms almost naturally, with you being a natural caregiver, and Patrick offering the satisfying element in response. It's a perfect coordination of two parties where nobody feel forced into something or neglected.

Glued to your side, Patrick eventually finds his spark again. Slowly but surely, Tashi and Art begin slipping into the very back of his mind - he never forgets, you don't force him to. You know the three of you can co-exist freely in his brain - and he's finally happy. Finally that Patrick Zweig that needed to be found again, and you are the person who helped him achieve all that.

[dameronology]

moment's passed (matt murdock)

summary: based on say don't go by t.swift (x)

warnings: excessive use of the f-word. angst.

this is one of the from the vault songs that just fucking HITS me. i have been crying to this since it came out tbh. i hope you enjoy xx

-jazz

You had Matt Murdock.

Until you didn't.

Things had been sweet at first; he was a weathered lawyer who needed some light in his life. Somebody to come home to; somebody to properly love for the first time in his fucking life. It wasn't like the high he was chasing with Eletkra Natchios, or the familiarity he'd sought out with Karen Page. He got both things from your relationship, but you were...different. You gave him highs; you could make him feel like he was home and on a rollercoaster all at once. It was a feeling Matthew wanted to keep for the rest of his life. He would have been stupid not to. But wasn't that the thing about Matt? He was incredibly smart, but also incredibly fucking stupid. Almost bound to take someone for granted. He'd done it with Foggy, hadn't he? 

Five years. That was how long you made it before cracks began to appear in your foundations. You'd loved Matt for his Daredevil side at first; maybe he could go too far, but he'd always known when to stop (right?) and you admired him for it. For his bravery, for his candor, for the way he protected the city. It was like a dark and sexy secret that you prided yourself on keeping. It tied you together. You were part of it now. You were the person that Matt could come to about his darkest fears and worst nights. You were the person whose side he would curl up into during the night, craving someone to protect him for once. There was always the worry that he would go into deep and truly lose himself, but every time Matt found himself on the precipice of doing so, you would be there to hold him back - to keep him sane and to stop him letting Matt Murdock and Daredevil blur into one person. 

You were only a human being, though. So was he. Matt could save the city and everything in it but you couldn't save him from himself. Save him from coming home at 6AM - your agreement had always been 3AM at the latest - and sliding into bed beside you without a word, or save him from waking up in a bad mood and refusing to talk to you about it. No matter how many times you begged him to just spend one night in, or to not leave himself three hours to sleep before work. It all fell on empty ears and that hurt when he had fucking super hearing. Comforting cuddles at night turned into whispered touches and soon, those touches became backs turned to one another. Long conversations turned into polite niceties than eventually faded into silence. The happy relationship - breakfast together in the morning at the table and takeouts on the sofa at night - became a burden. A horse you were both flogging because staying together in silence was slightly less terrifying than whatever the alternative that left you alone was. Soon, you were the only one flogging said horse. Matt had dropped his stick a long time ago and turned away. He'd walked into the depths of Hell's Kitchen and you weren't sure he was ever coming back. 

This wasn't your fault. Maybe it wasn't his fault either but hell it was his burden to bear. You'd done nothing but love and support him and what did you get in return? Silence. Iciness. Long, tense moments of forced conversations. 

You got used to it eventually. Every night, he'd come stumbling in at 4,5,6AM, skin littered with bruises and wounds; some from that night and others reopened. Matt's skin was thick with scars now. They were forming a new Daredevil suit across his arms and legs and back and there was no taking it off. It was always there. Always a reminder. 

Matt was laying with his back to you; you watched with open eyes, as his breathing went from shallow and tense, to something a little deeper and softer. He was falling asleep. Tough fucking luck, Murdock, you thought, it's time to talk. 

You brushed a hand down his back - Matt arched like a cat, suddenly waking.

"Hey, Matty."

He sighed heavily. "I was sleeping."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to see how you were-"

"- I'm tired," Matt huffed. "Go to sleep."

"I'm tired too," you murmured. Tired of this. Tired of this silence. Tired of you.

"Sleep too, then."

"I will," you whispered. "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?"

"I'm working all day. Probably late."

"Okay, goodnight," you said. "I love you."

Silence. 

The morning came and still, Matt barely spoke to you. He ghosted past you in the morning, hands fumbling for a clean shirt and pants. His shoes were pulled on and coffee made, and he was out the door before you'd even risen for work. That was purposeful. He never left earlier than 8AM and it wasn't even gone 7:30. Maybe he didn't want to talk. Maybe he just wanted to talk to anyone that wasn't you - which was funny, because you'd barely had a conversation in weeks. 

You had lunch with Karen later that day, about four doors down from the Nelson & Murdock office. Whatever dalliance she'd had with Matt was in the past - you two were good friends. She was level-headed and candid. You needed that in a friend. She always said what you needed to hear, even if you didn't want to. 

"So, I'm gonna see this guy for a second date, I think," Karen was saying something. You were gone, eyes blankly staring past her. "But I'm not sure, because - hey, are you listening to me?"

"No," you admitted. "I'm sorry. I had a really shitty night."

Her face fell with concern. "What's going on?"

"Matt's losing himself to his night job," you admitted. "I haven't had a proper talk with him in fucking months. I don't think he's touched me since people liked James Corden, Karen. Do you know what a long time that is?"

"Jesus," she muttered. Without another word, she pulled out her diary and flicked through it. "Look, it says he's got his whole afternoon wide open today. He went home at midday I think."

You faltered slightly. Either Karen was mistaken or Matt was a fucking liar and had fed you bullshit about being busy this afternoon. The worst part was that you knew Karen never made mistakes when it came to her secretary job. She had a Pinterest board for everything and her Google calendar synced up to ten different devices. She probably wasn't wrong and lying to you, although a new development, was pretty in line with how Matt had been lately. It felt like the final nail in the coffin. The thing that sealed your relationship's fate.

"I..." you muttered. "Okay. Will you hate me if I ditch early to go and talk to him?"

Karen shook her head. "No. Go."

That subway ride was the longest of your ride. It felt like every stop was twice as long; like every red signal lasted ten years. Had the walk from the platform to the barriers always been this long? Had the street from the station to your apartment been this stretched out? Your feet had never hurt more as you sprinted up the stairs from the lobby to your apartment. The door was on the latch - Karen was right, he had been home - and you booted it down with ease. Matt jumped up from the sofa as you did.

"What are you-"

"- you're a fucking liar!" you snapped. 

There was a lingering silence for a moment. Matt was a man of few words but he had very rarely found himself speechless.

"I'm done," you muttered.

"Done with what?"

"I'm done with you," you said. "I'm done with us. With this shitty relationship. Do you know how long I've been trying? How long I've been begging you to give me some kind of attention? Months, Matt. I've been dying for MONTHS and you haven't cared."

"I haven't been ignoring you-"

"- please don't lie to me," you cut him off again. 

The silence returned. You might have been half way out the door for months but Matt had been the one holding it open. The worst part was that you loved him to your very core and if he just said the words then - stay, don't go - or even any fucking word in the human language that hinted at a glimmer of hope, you would have thought twice. Maybe your apartment was a ghost town now but it was haunted with what used to be. Maybe there was a chance to go back to that. Just maybe. You would take maybe. 

The seconds passed. One, two, three. You counted them as they went, right up until you hit sixty. The dreaded one minute mark. That was more than enough time to beg. You could have done it in thirty. But he'd said nothing. The silence now said more to you than Matt had in the last three months. 

"Do you have nothing to say?" you quietly asked. 

"Right," you murmured. "I'm really done then."

"Just...think about this?" Matt said. His voice wavered slightly. There it was. The thing you'd been wanting to hear. It was just one minute too late. 

"Moment's passed, Matty," 

[shmreduplication]

The reason Daredevil is bad every time the writer has him go too far into Catholicism (or, for that matter, the American legal system) is that Daredevil/Matt Murdock is an amalgamation of a series of stupid jokey bullshit concepts and he is vaguely aware of it on some meta level

those joke concepts are, in no particular order:

What if a blind guy was a superhero?

What if a Catholic dressed up as the devil?

What if a hero dressed up as the devil?

What if a criminal vigilante was a lawyer?

What if a boxer had a lil nerd as a son?

What if a redhead wore a bright red skintight suit?

What if 'the blind leading the blind' was about a blind man teaching a blind child how to be a ninja?

What if a blind guy was extremely sexy and exclusively pulled extremely sexy women?

What if a blind man faked being a sighted superhero?

What if there was a devil that lived in Hell's Kitchen?

And writers that go too hard on the Catholicism and American criminal punishment system don't get the joke

He doesn't need to reckon with the contradictions been being a superhero and being a Catholic or with being a vigilante and being a lawyer. None of those things contradict each other to him because they all serve to help him Help People. He's a lawyer when it helps, he's a vigilante when it helps, he's a Catholic when it helps, he's a superhero when it helps

Also like.... he's definitely in on the joke, he chose the costume after all

So yeah everyone who has him go too hard on any of those things would be like John mulaney putting a real horse into a real hospital, it exits the world of comedy and is just an uncomfortable situation for all involved until they get the horse out you know what I mean?

[locuas642]

I am beating a dead horse I know. but I thought of something else about James Somerton.

Because it recently came to my attention that, right around when the video that destroyed his career came out, Somerton had been fishing for Neil Gaiman to like his Good Omens video.

Now, this in an of itself is nothing weird. youtubers fish for people to share their stuff all the time, sometimes it is reasonable, other times it is rude. and other times is like "Please dont force creators to interact with you". but it is nothing weird or uncommon for what is Youtubers.

Neil Gaiman being associated with Queer content is also nothing weird. The guy was the "Thor god of Lesbians" before Thor was a thing. He is such an ally there is a whole section of the community ready to explain to people the context of Wanda in the Sandman comic. So Somerton trying (excuse the expression) "to get Gaiman-Senpai to notice him" (Yes, go ahead shoot me i deserve it) is also not weird.

but I cant help but see it as part of a certain pattern.

Because we all saw the video, and how Hbomberguy points out the inherent misogyny in a lot of Somerton's views and how he erase people's gender and orientation in order to shit on women (and how that also ties him to transphobia, biphobia, and a lot of other things). And also how he will dismiss criticisms by claiming it is white straight women harassing him.

Except between that video and Todd in the shadows, I did find one particular instance of him talking positively of a woman. Jo Rowling. A Cis Straight Woman who nowadays is defined by the transphobia she constantly tries to rules-lawyer deny she ever expressed.

Obviously, the video wasnt about him Defending Rowling, but it was a weird video in which he tried to claim Rowling was more progressive than she actually was, at one point even claiming when the books were written she was pro-trans folk. Which is a lie. There was this need of him trying to sell Rowling as this tragic figure, this person who changed for the worse. And this was from the guy who was quick to dismiss the intentions of any woman or GNC person.

And then I remembered his weird claims about Bob Iger. This... honestly revisionism of the fight of Gay Marriage (the thing he also dismisses in importance in a different video) as Iger pressuring Obama into making it law among other things that tried to elevate Iger, a Cis Straight Man, into an important role in queer history.

And then there is the "Stupid Sexy Nazi" stuff I wont even go into detail.

My point is, there was this weird trend in his videos that I noticed. That he would rather elevate straight and their participation in queer history at the same time he dismissed plenty of non-cis gay men. Sometimes even doing revisionism to describe a version of history that did not happen, but which weirdly feels like the version of history he would want.

And again, Neil Gaiman is an ally and there is nothing weird in and of itself for him to want Gaiman to like his stuff. But when taken into context with everything else, both his antagonism with actual queer people, and his elevation of non-queer people, I feel that says something.

[disappointmentofthefam]

Love?Love. (part 4)

Andy Barber x Reader

warnings-kind of a slow, filler chapter, nothing much happens but its important to thee plot ig WHATEVER.

Paralyzed.

Y/n was paralyzed in her place.

"Hello? Please move out of the way," Laurie pushes her way through her, "who even are you?" She grimaces.

Unable to answer the woman with the mountain-sized lump in her throat and the squeezing of her heart, y/n runs out of the house.

Girl grief is ugly. There is no smoking-out-the-balcony-in-just-her-panties or the sexy-dancing-in-her-bedroom-while-planning-revenge. No, the movies had gotten it all wrong.

Girl grief consists of puffy eyes, a bloated face, runny nose, ugly thoughts and very unkind assumptions about one's own self.

you're so stupid, so so so so so stupid!

look at yourself, she cries in front of her bathroom mirror, you're so ugly.

she pinches the extra mass on her stomach, how did you even assume you meant something to him?

She excuses herself from dinner, "im not hungry,mom!" while clutching her chest and sobbing into the pillow.

he had a wife the entire time. Of course he did! He would never ever go for me! Laurie is so skinny, she's porcelain, so perfect. I don't compare! I can't compare to her! she's her and I'm ME.

she lies in her bed awake the entire night, playing those moments with Andy over and over again, trying to find solace in the warm memories.

…………………………………………………………………………….

Back at The Barber's residence

"Laurie?" Andy's eyes widen in surprise and concern for y/n, "What are you doing here? Where's y/n?"

"y/n huh? Is that the name of the girl you were plannin on fucking tonight?" Laurie's voice is filled with malice and contempt.

Andy's fists clench at the way his ex describes y/n, "One,that's none of your business and two, she's not just some girl who I wanted to fuck."

"Jesus, Andrew," Laurie gives him a vicious smile, "You're going to fight with your wife over some dumb piece of ass?"

This fucking did it for Andy, As he lurches forward and grabs her wrist "I dare you, fucking say that again."

Laurie snatches her hand from his tight grasp, "Whatever," she rubs her wrist, "i don't give a fuck about her, I'm here to see my son."

"He's in his fucking room," Andy gives her a sarcastic smile, "and by all means, do not make yourself comfortable in my home." With that he leaves the house, and calls y/n.

His relationship with Laurie was um……….. as diplomatic as it could be, for the sake of their son. He could barely tolerate her presence, especially after she constantly treated him like her own personal trash can, putting him through the worst, over and over again throughout the rough course of their marriage.

And still she just wouldn't go away!

fuck y/n pick up,angel

…………………………………………………………

18 missed calls and 23 (unopened)text messages later, Andy decides he can't risk losing her.

He finds a girl who despite all the horrors of life, shines like a ray of motherfucking sunshine,the only woman Andrew Barber would embarrass himself for. No way he was going to lose her, not without a fight.

So there he is. At her doorstep as he rings the doorbell.

"Yes?" A woman, Y/n's mother, he guesses, opens the door, "Mr. Barber! Welcome, welcome," she extends a warm invitation.

So this is who y/n gets her sweet soul from

"Another time, Mrs. y/l/n," Andy returns a small smile, "is y/n here?"

"Yes, yes, she's up in her room, did you need anything?"

"Yeah….uh….." Think, Andy, think, "yeah I needed her help with uhhh…. she told me that I could borrow this book from her….. it's about uhh….historic politics."

historic politics? that's the best i could come up with? HOW AM I EVEN A LAWYER

Her mother disappears upstairs for a moment, and then returns with a tight lipped and disappointed smile, "I'm sorry but she's feeling a little sick right now, maybe you could come back tomorrow?"

With droopy shoulders,Andy gets into his car, because going to his house was not an option,not until Laurie was out of there.

………………………………………………………………………..

The next morning, Y/n goes to unbelievable lengths to avoid running into Andy. Although she does receive a bouquet of sunflowers, sent anonymously, with a small handwritten letter attached to it:

"Angel, please give me a chance to explain, I promise it's not what it looks like."

that's literally the classic phrase of a cheating man, I'm not falling for it

"Come on,y/n, we both know you deserve better than being someone's mistress,"her best friend had said, "flowers will never change the fact that he has a wife."

y/n even goes as far as to tutor Jacob at her house.

Jacob is a little confused as to why y/n brought him here. " So, what happened with you and dad-"

"Nuh-uh,the only questions i will entertain are about nomenclature."

……………………………………………………………………………..

As the night falls, y/n can't help but get a little curious about Andy.

is he doing okay? who am i kidding,he's probably unaffected.

how could he be so okay?

tears well in her eyes once again.

how could he be so okay while i can't even digest half of a toast without throwing it up!

As curiosity gets the best of her, y/n slowly peeks through the curtains in her room,getting the full view of Andy's bedroom through his unshielded window.

Damn! doesn't this man have a sense of privacy?well,shit, what else could you expect from a two timer, rich,white man.

Suddenly, Andy appears into her view, he's wearing nothing but a towel, lowly hanging from his pelvis.

His hair looked wet, framing his forehead gracefully.

His arms flexed as he took another towel and started drying his hair off.

Fuck you, Andy, you're making it really really hard for my self respect!

………………………………………………………………………….

Over the course of the next five days, y/n continues with her little routine of trying everything in her power to avoid Andy while more and more bouquets pile up in her room with different notes attached every day:

"take your time angel, you know I'll be waiting for you."

"i loved the way your lips felt on mine."

"angel, You're driving me crazy."

and so on.

"Why does she have to be so stubborn?"Andy grimaces as he settles down on the sofa with a beer in his hands.

"Look at you! Andrew Barber, finally at the mercy of romance." Sam, his best friend quips from beside Andy.

A few beers in, Sam's mind sparks with an idea,"I'll throw a party at my house this weekend!"

Andy rolls his eyes, "My love life is literally in the burning pits of hell and you want a party?"

"No, dumbass, I'll invite Y/n too!"

Andy sits up straight,an eager smile on his face, "YES! A party it fucking is then!"

See you soon, angel

[jotunvali02]

Playing Ace Attorney, Rise from the Ashes, part 1

"It's not Edgeworth who was murdered though."

Careful, be fucking CAREFUL with what you say, Phoenix...

"I am not accepting new cases."

Why?? Do you have better things to do??

Oh, so Mia used to do anything to get what she wants, "anything" too? Hmmm...

"That probably was why she was attracted to me."

Sooooooooooorrryyyyyy??????????????

"You know, attorneys aren't supposed to examine crime scenes."

But, but... I'm gonna slap you so hard, Phoenix!

"Put it in your pocket!" "Sounds like theft to me."

BITCH!!! That's what you've been doing ALL the time with NO second thought and NO regret and what basically made you win your cases and NOW you're having legal qualms??

I'm going to slap you!

*gasp*! Or maybe Edgey has been giving him basic classes of lawyering during these mysterious two months? Is it the better thing to do than your job, Fee-Fee??👀💞

Phoenix being his old whiney bitch again and Ema telling him to shut the fuck off. ^^

"You know, I aced a 97 on my test!" "Too bad they don't have a test for common sense!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Queen Bitch Fee-Fee's baaack!

Oh, the Queen Bitch likes to be stepped on by another queen, huh?

Ok, did Lana Skye bedded all the sexy ladies of that city?

Don't tell me. The "boyfriend" is Larry, isn't it??

"Very useful. Not."

Bitch, why are you suddenly such a bitchy bitch again, anyway??

Hm, so Phoenix is the "evilest lunches of all".

Oh no.

My baby Edgey.😭

How must he have felt when he was awarded "the best prosecutor"? Two months after learning that ALL of his prosecuting (mentored by the killer of his father and who manipulated him all his life) had been, indeed twisted and ugly?

My baby... Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to gift him that??

"Wright? Still rummaging through my life? You know, I like it."❤️ "That voice..."💘

That voice that caresses and blesses my ears!!💞🥰

"Are you sure you should be showing clues to Mr Edgeworth?" "I don't give a fuck!! He's my boyfriend now! I'll show him anything, Ema! Anything..."

*showing the badge like an annyoing motherfucker again* ;p

"I once dreamed to be a defense attorney too..."

Nooo!!😭 What have I done?? I've made him sad! NOOO!! 😭😭

Can't I kiss him to make him feel better??

Rumors?? Babe, you never cared about the stupid rumors about you before! ...... ....... oh.💔

"Go ahead, Wright! You think I did it, don't you?" "So you've come to laugh at the fallen prosecutor? Then laugh. Laugh!"

No! Nooo!! Never!! What would FEE-FEE of all people do that??? Why do you think he hates you?? 😭😭💔

No baby!! Stop! Stop that self-flogging!! And just let yourself be hugged and loved!

Wait. So defense attorneys can defend themselves but prosecutors can't prosecute themselves?? Why?

Is this a timeline where it's traditional to treat defense attorneys better than prosecutors? Like defense attorney are societally superior to prosecutors?

Nooo... my baby thinks he was betrayed, framed and manipulated by a mentor he admired again! 😭 Takumi, will you stop torturing our baby Edgey just for ONE case????

Ok, an Edgeworth headbutt in Phoenix' face please!

"You must be proud to be the King of Prosecutors!"

But I... I will assassinate you, Phoenix. I will SO fucking assassinate you!

Oh and now you want to nap on Edgey's sofa!!

And Ema starts to get wet with her fantasies of Edgey. I can't blame her, I do the exact same.

"He doesn't seem concerned about his award."

No shit?? And why that, in your opinion??

"I place little faith in my memory." My baby 😭

"Looks like this guy was absent the day they gave out brains and good luck."

B-b-but.. what a douche!! This isn't being a bitch anymore, this is being a complete DOUCHEBAG, Phoenix!

Why are you such a spiteful CUNT today??

Gumshoe was "kicked out of the Criminal Affairs"?? Hmmm....

"What's going on with Edgeworth?" WHAT'S GOING ON WITH EDGEWORTH???

Feenie, have you fucking DEMENTIA joined to your cunt-isis???

No,... Edgey is getting bullied now?? Isn't this trial where he's being framed by a mentor again enough?? Wasn't Von Karma enough????

NO! NO! NO!!

Like, do his colleagues have fucking dementia too?? Did they already forget that Edgey was declared innocent, framed and manipulated all along, all his fucking life?? By the killer of his father?? While he repeated he was guilty and "deserved to be punished"?? Or that he's been living with a fucking PTSD since he was fucking 9??

And he "just wants to snatch the position of Chief Prosecutor", like WHAT?? Or maybe he wants to throw his jail his other mentor who ALSO lied to him and ALSO tried to frame him for murder???

Are lawyers in future Japan all brainless and heartless fuckers??

Ema: "Officer Marshall! Shut the fuck up!!"

Yeah, and don't go badmouthing my baby Edgey, you fucker!

"He was unbeatable. That is until he met you."

Fee-Fee's heart:

"The rumors lead to one person."

Who?? WHO's that umpteenth fucker who dares to hurt my sweet, baby, fluffy Edgey????

"You shouldn't believe your clients, Mr Wright." "Miss Skye: shut the fuck up!"

"I have to discover the truth all by myself!"

YAY! Fee-Fee is finally committing to be a big boy!!🥳

Without needing the help of teenage girl or of dead person!

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[sowoozoo-7]

Love, Lust & Litigation | Interlude - NYE (Namjoon POV)

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader x Namjoon

Genre: lawyer!AU, coworkers to lovers, slow burn, eventual smut

Rating: M (18+) whole fic, this chapter PG-13 (for language)

Warnings: some swearing in this chapter, nothing explicit

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Unfortunately, you have developed a massive crush on your new boss. Even more unfortunately, your equally attractive coworker is also harboring massive crush on your boss. AKA Jungkook and reader both pine for big, sexy brain Namjoon. 

A/N: It's been a long time coming but here she is! The next installment of LL&L! This takes place in the middle of Chapter 5. More about it in the A/N at the end. Thanks for all your patience as I got over a bit of writer's block (and writer's unmotivation lmao). This is my first time writing a member's POV, so hopefully I did it justice!

As always, I’d love feedback if you have any! Enjoy ~

mlist | ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5 | interlude | ch 6

Namjoon Kim doesn’t make New Year’s resolutions. 

It’s a stupid concept, in his humble opinion. Not only is it an arbitrary date to make a change, most people spend the first day of the new year recovering from the night before. Can anyone really make any progress toward their goals while nursing a massive hangover?  

No. If Namjoon wants to make a change, he’ll just do it. He won’t wait until Monday, or to the first of the month. He'll just do it.

Of course, if anyone asks if he’s made any resolutions, he’ll just smile and say “Oh, you know, the usual,” or some other noncommittal answer. His coworkers don’t need to know he thinks it’s a stupid concept. He hasn’t gotten to where he is today by ranting about the uselessness of New Year’s resolutions. 

This year, though, this year might be different.

He arrives late to Jimin’s New Year’s Eve party. Everyone at Jimin's fancy high-rise apartment is past buzzed and barreling toward black-out drunk, and here he is, newly arrived and sober. 

Before he can go in search of alcohol, Jimin finds him. 

“You’re late! Why are you late? It’s New Year’s Eve!” 

Some urgent thing at work kept him there. It seemed life-changing and super important in the moment, but as Namjoon opens his mouth to answer, for the life of him, he can’t remember exactly what it was.

Jimin flaps his hand as if to wave the question out of the air before Namjoon can think of anything to say. 

“Whatever. The more important issue is, you’re not sparkling!” 

The theme for the party is “Sparkle or Bust,” in reference to both drinks and outfits. Namjoon doesn’t make a habit of keeping spare sequined shirts in his office, so he’s in one of his work suits, sans tie and jacket. 

Several hours’ worth of alcohol dulls Jimin’s outrage at Namjoon’s failure to follow the theme and he hands Namjoon a bedazzled NYE tiara and a glass of champagne without further berating.

“There. Much better.” 

Jimin leaves as suddenly as he arrived. 

Namjoon stays on the periphery of the party, sipping on the champagne. He recognizes people from work and some of Jimin’s friends he’s met in the past, but they’re all involved in their own conversations. 

His gaze wanders from person to person, wondering if any of them made resolutions, if they’ve ever kept them. If anything has ever changed—actually changed—by making a resolution for the new year. 

If it’s even worth it to hope for a change.

He keeps looking and his eyes catch on a familiar figure across the room. Jungkook, wearing a ridiculous, shiny blazer that he has no business looking so good in. Namjoon’s stomach does a little flip as he notices, not for the first time, how Jungkook’s shoulders fill out the blazer, broad and strong. He’s talking with Taehyung, Jimin’s roommate, a tall eccentric whose family owns half the city.

The crowd shifts, and Namjoon’s stomach flips again when he catches sight of you, looking increasingly irritated at the conversation between the two men. Now you’re rolling your eyes, annoyed at something they’ve said. 

Namjoon’s eyes follow you as you yank the sliding glass doors to the balcony open. Before he knows it, he’s making his way to the door, murmuring his apologies as he tries not to bulldoze his coworkers out of the way. 

Before Namjoon can reach the door, Jungkook is already there, round eyes apologetic and pleading as he slips out onto the balcony, closing the door behind him. Namjoon stops in the middle of the crowd. 

He’s too late. 

Again. 

He tips the contents of his champagne glass down his throat. It’s not enough to quiet the self-loathing, but enough to carry him to the glass door and peer out onto the balcony. 

You’re looking up at Jungkook, something like disappointment on your face. He has his hands on your shoulders, rubbing the bare skin to warm you up in the cold. Your expression softens. You’re forgiving him for whatever transgression he has committed. 

An ugly roil of feelings churns in Namjoon’s gut, a mix of jealousy, envy, and longing he doesn’t want to untangle. 

Regret, though, is what he feels the most. There were so many moments when he could have done something, anything, when he could have made his feelings clear to either, both of you. 

Yoongi pushed him to do something, to say something. Of course he did, what else are best friends for? But even though Namjoon saw want clearly written in Jungkook’s eyes, time and time again, he hesitated. Every time they touched, whether in passing in the office, or when they were working out together, Namjoon was so careful, so careful to not let his hands linger, even though all he wanted to do was feel the planes of Jungkook’s body against his, strong and muscular. Because it was inappropriate, because of Namjoon’s position, because he was Jungkook’s mentor. 

And then you showed up, beautiful, confident. Every time you won a case, you lit up the room, radiant, victorious. And all Namjoon wanted to do was crowd you against the elevator walls as you headed back to the office together. He wanted to know if you were as soft and pliable out of your clothes as you were hard and unyielding in the courtroom. Yoongi had more to say every time you and Namjoon were in his restaurant. But again Namjoon hesitated. 

And he was too late. All he has left is regret and unrelenting visions of both of you, soft and hard, next to him, on top and below him, wanting nothing more than the all-encompassing press of warm skin against skin. 

A loud bang pulls him back to the party. One of the ladies from IT tripped into the glass door beside Namjoon. He reaches out to steady her, his hand on her elbow. She blushes when Namjoon smiles at her, and she laughs it off, embarrassed.

By the time he turns back to glance out to the balcony, Jungkook has you wrapped up in his blazer and you’re both facing out to the city. 

Someone claps him on the shoulder, and he looks back to see Taehyung. “You look like you need something stronger than champagne.” 

A karaoke machine appears sometime before midnight. 

Namjoon has officially joined the ranks of the well and truly sloshed. Taehyung took him to the large pantry behind the kitchen, where Jimin had stashed the good bottles of whisky behind boxes of cereal, and he has gone back several times for a refill.

He doesn’t let himself get this drunk, not usually. He’s so careful, always so fucking careful, about how he’s perceived, about what he’s expected to do, how he’s supposed to act, as an adult, as a manager, as the hotshot lawyer people think he is. But the whisky warms his stomach tonight and blurs the edges of the sharp feelings deep in the pit of his stomach. 

Whoever is screeching at the karaoke machine needs to stop. He feels it in the base of his skull and it’s making the night all the more unpleasant than it already is. He can tell them off, of course he can. He’s the head of Litigation. 

He stumbles his way into the living room to make the horrible noise stop, but the song ends before he can get across the room. Thank god. He’s about to turn back to the kitchen to top up his glass when an angelic voice comes through the speakers. 

It takes a few blinks to focus his eyes. He eventually sees across the room that Jungkook has taken the mic, with Taehyung’s arms slung around his shoulders. 

They’re swaying as Jungkook sings “Leave The Door Open” by Silk Sonic. The rumble of the party quiets down. Someone whoops when he nails a high note. 

Namjoon leans back against the wall for support. It’s not the first time he’s heard Jungkook singing. He hums constantly in the office, but it’s only when he’s several drinks in and past the point of self-consciousness that he lets loose and really sings. His eyes are closed, not needing the lyrics, as he belts the song. 

A little sigh sounds next to him and he turns to see you, also leaning against the wall. Your eyes are soft for the man across the room, and a smile tugs at the corner of your lips. Namjoon looks back at Jungkook, and those feelings he was trying to dam with alcohol come rushing back. 

“You’re lucky, you know?” 

He doesn’t even realize he’s spoken out loud until he hears your voice beside him.

“Lucky?” 

Fuck. He has to say something. Clarify? Does he owe that to you?

“Look at him,” he says, gesturing across the room with his glass. “He’s hot and talented and good at his job. Competent people are hard to come by.” Shut up shut up shut up Namjoon, you’re rambling. “You’re competent too.” 

“Thanks?” 

The song ends and the room cheers for one more. Namjoon keeps his eyes trained across the room as Jungkook queues up another song. He can’t look at you right now. You’re too close.  

"Don't be a manager. It's overrated," he says quietly. "Careers don’t fucking matter. You have that freedom still, to do whatever.” 

The next song starts, “Falling” by Harry Styles. A shiver runs down Namjoon’s spine as Jungkook starts singing. 

“Jesus, just listen to his voice.” 

“Boss, are you okay?” you ask, putting your hand on Namjoon’s arm. 

He closes his eyes at the touch, and at that fucking nickname. He hates it. Hates his role at work, his chronic overthinking. He fucking despises himself for the person he’s crafted himself to be, hiding behind a job title, too focused on what society tells him is success to chase what he wants now. 

He looks at you, finally, to see confusion and concern written all over your face. 

“I’m happy for you two.” He can hear the sadness in his own voice and it’s fucking pathetic. He goes to take a sip of his drink, but it’s empty. Again. “I really am. Truly.” 

You just look at him like you’re about to say something nice and sweet and heartbreaking. Fuck. He’s gotta get out of here. 

In his drunk haze, he doesn’t realize that you don’t follow him to the kitchen. 

Karaoke ends with everyone scream-singing some pop-punk song that Namjoon vaguely recognizes. 

It’s getting close to midnight anyway, so the party roars back into swing, bass thumping, people dancing in the living room in a crush of bodies. 

Namjoon stands against the wall, the empty drink glass in his hand, watching everyone else lose their inhibitions. Even drunk as he is, the vice grip of anxiety keeps him from joining the crowd, from letting loose, and letting his body move to the music. 

He spots you and Jungkook in the crowd, your back against his, eyes closed as you dance to the beat, both faces flushed with alcohol. Namjoon waits, anticipating… something. What exactly, he doesn’t know. All he knows is that this picture is incomplete. He sits on the outside, watching the two of you from afar.

Then it hits him. He’s used to it now, like breathing, like the sun rising and setting, your faces turning towards Namjoon like sunflowers face the sun. Always finding him in a room. How many times has he locked eyes from across the room with Jungkook, with you?

And now, you’re not looking at Namjoon. Neither of you are. 

As the countdown to midnight starts, Jungkook spins you around to face him. You laugh and join in counting with the crowd. 

3…

Namjoon holds his own countdown, waiting for either or both sets of eyes to find him on the edge of the crowd. 

2…

Jungkook’s arms wrap around you. 

1…

Your fingers tangle in his hair. 

Happy New Year!

You’re kissing and laughing, rejoicing in the new year. When Jungkook’s eyes open, they’re trained on your face, and you look back, eyes only for Jungkook. 

Something breaks inside Namjoon. He doesn’t even know who his envy is aimed towards. Does he want to be Jungkook, kissing you, or does he want to be in your place, cupping the back of Jungkook’s head? 

Things never change on New Year’s Eve, except this year, something has. 

He slips out of the party without anyone noticing. The sharp cold brings him back to his senses. Without the party in his head, he can breathe. He can think. 

His breath fogs up in the early morning air. Every inhale brings a cold clarity back to him. 

He knows what he has to do. 

A/N II: This scene was originally meant to take place in the middle of Chapter 5 from reader's POV. The more I worked on it, the more I struggled with it. The whole chapter was dragging and nothing I wrote was working, so I took it out. I think it improved the flow of Ch 5 and helped me finish Ch 5 a bit faster. It's still an important part of the story, and I think it worked better from Namjoon's POV. So before we head to the final couple chapters (!!!!) I really wanted to show how Namjoon's been feeling. (And my brain wouldn't let me work on Ch 6 until I finished this.)

I'm not gonna put a date on the next installment. It's still largely unwritten, but hopefully the momentum from finishing this helps with the draft for Ch 6. Thanks for your patience! Lots of forehead kisses for y'all 💕

[toomuchracket]

do you think flatmate girlie would be the boys lawyer for the whole malaysia lawsuit lol

by your own admission? "absolutely fucking not i think it's stupid as fuck they're suing and i don't want to be tempted to say that in an official legal capacity because i WILL lose my job... yeah baby i know you'd take care of me if i wasn't working but also what if you lose this lawsuit and have to pay. we have children to raise we need income" lol. but you DO advise, and get one of your colleagues to provide representation, so it's all good. matty pouts about it a bit, but only cos it means he doesn't get to see you be all sexy in your work clothes outsmarting people and being authoritative (he's a fiend. every time you come home from work and have to be firm with the girls (or him) he starts biting his lip and making eyes at you) lol <3

[totallyshattered]

Lani wasn't always a vacant fuck toy dressed up to titillate her owner.

Her name had been Alana, and she'd been a lawyer once. The memory of it was distant, but she was pretty sure she'd been a good one.

And she'd been ambitious, too. She wanted to be the youngest partner in her firm's history. To do so she got herself attached to the only woman partner in the firm.

Maxine Mason had a reputation for ruthlessness, efficiency, and style. She was also a well-known control freak, micro-managing everything. But Alana just HAD to learn from the best.

When Alana met with the mature redhead, she told Maxine thay she'd do anything to learn from Maxine.

Maxine, or 3M as the other partners usually referred to her (none of the juniors or associates knew why), had only smiled slyly at her before replying, "Thats what they all say. Now let me have a look at you."

Alana hadn't expected that but stood and allowed Maxine's eyes to roam over her. She awallowed and shivered slightly as she almost physically felt those keen eyes upon her.

"Very well," said Maxine. "But, you will do as I say at all times. Any resistance, and I will discard you. Do you understand?"

Alana had gulped, "I understand."

That had been the start of Alana's descent.

----------

The first thing changed were her clothes. Maxine had said, "Put them off balance by always being the sexiest person in the room." It would have sounded strange of Maxine herself hadn't embodied that belief at all times.

So, flats became 3" heels, pants became pencil skirts with stockings, and Alana's blouse was always open one extra button to reveal the lacy bra underneath matched by her panties, as Maxine had insisted.

Maxine had also insisted on inspecting Alana every morning. Maxine checked every detail, checked every piece of clothing to make sure it was high quality, and ran her hands up and down the stockings to check the seams and for runners.

Maxine would viciously critique anything that didn't meet her standards. It was humiliating, but Alana's ambition wouldn't be denied.

So the clothes became more and more sexy and higher quality, and the inspections continued. Maxine would still degrade her, mostly, but Alana yearned for the rare compliments she did receive.

She would even dream about Maxine's hands caressing her, telling her how good she was doing, how doing as she was told would please Maxine and help Alana be better.

Beyond the clothes, Maxine worked Alana day and night. Alana was Maxine's paralegal, personal assistant, secretary, messenger, and gofer all at once. Waiting on Maxine at work, with clients, even at home became the norm.

The overwork and lack of sleep was taking its toll. Sometimes, she found herself zoning out while Maxine was giving her instructions or dictation.

Maxine would scold Alana relentlessly, calling her stupid, irresponsible, worthless, or the worst, bad girl.

That last insult ate at Alana like no other for some reason she didnt understand. She wasn't a bad girl, she knew she was a good girl. She was trying so hard to please Maxine so Maxine would help her.

It was taking longer to remember why she needed Maxine's help beyond just receiving approval. She wanted to be a... a... partner, right. That was it.

She seemed to be doing so little legal work now. She hadn't represented a client in months, just helped Maxine doing whatever Maxine needed.

The first time Maxine demanded a foot rub, was the only time she ever hesitated to do as she was told.

Maxine's rage was terrible. She grabbed Alana by the hair, and spat, "Worthless bitch, I told you that you had to obey EVERY request I make. EVERY ONE." She released Alana, who collapsed to the floor sobbing. "You should feel fucking ecstatic that I didn't tell you to lick my fucking toes. Now do as you're told, and if you hesitate for even a half a second, I will fire you and ensure you never work in another firm in this state."

Alana obeyed.

-‐--------------

Any remaining hint of law-related work ceased after that. Maxine explained that it was Alana's punishment for disobedience.

Moreover, Alana was demoted from Associate to Assistant. Maxine told Alana that she kept her job only by Maxine's generosity. Alana thanked Maxine for letting her continue to serve Maxine and promised to be better for her.

Maxine grinned evilly at that point, and beckoned for to come around the desk. She grabbed Alana by the blouse and forced the assistant to her knees. Then Maxine leaned back, pulled up her own skirt, and pulled aside the black thong underneath.

"Well," began Maxine, "We know you're fucking worthless as a lawyer and masseuse, let's see if you can even eat pussy correctly."

Alana didn't hesitate, she shuddered at even the thought, and she dived into her boss' muff. She had no experience except her own, but she knew what felt good and threw herself into it enthusiastically.

Maxine's moans seemed to indicate she was doing well at this at least. "Oh, that's it you stupid fucking girl, eat my cunt. I knew you had to be good for something. "

Maxine ground Alana's face further into her pussy, Alana felt drunk from praise and lack of oxygen, and absorbed every word.

She never realized her own hand had sneaked up her skirt until Maxine exclaimed, "Oh, you filthy little whore, diddling your own pussy while eating your boss out. I knew you were defective, but not this broken."

Maxine wrapped her legs around Alana's head pulling her in further. "I'm gonna cum all over your face, slut. Lick it up!!!" She groaned.

After she came down, Maxine smirked down at Alana's drenched face and smudged makeup. "Hmm, Alana is a too nice a name for a ditzy, cunt-licking bimbo like you," she mused. "Lani is better. That's your name, now. Say, 'Thank you, Ms. Mason.'"

"Thank you, Ms. Mason," Lani replied before the shame triggered her own orgasm.

-----------

Lani's uniform continued to get sluttier as Maxine showed off her favorite toy. Higher heels, shorter skirts, tighter blouses, more makeup, and a honey blond dye job. She looked every bit the slutty assistant, now.

Lani was so grateful that Ms. Mason was improving her.

Ms. Mason even generously agreed to pay for lip fillers and EE implants. She said that it would reflect badly on her and the firm if the assistant to one of its highest ranked partners didn't look like a piece of fuck meat at all times.

But Ms. Mason was still so demanding.

It was so hard to complete tasks on time when you had to miss a call because your tongue was in your boss' ass.

And taking dictation while riding a 10" dildo made it so difficult to concentrate.

Getting messages delivered in a timely fashion when every few minutes, your boss used her remote app to activate the vibra-egg in Lani's panties, causing Lani's legs to wobble or even give out altogether.

And Ms. Mason always had a punishment ready. Spankings while reciting mantras about being a better fuck doll., or anal bead training followed by plugging, while thanking her boss for making her a better bimbo were the most common.

----------

Finally it was performance evaluation time.

Ms. Mason told Lani the bad news while fucking Lani's ass with a strap-on and with the helpess bimbo bent over the reception desk.

"Very dissatisfactory performance. Immediate termination recommended," read Ms. Mason.

Lani couldn't help but cry despite the bliss of having her ass pounded. She was such a dumb, slutty, bimbo, she couldn't do anything right. Now what was she going to do?

Ms. Mason smiled, guessing the toy's thoughts. She stroked Lani's hair and said, "It's okay, I'm going to take care of you. You're going to come live with me as my personal fuck slave, now."

Lani beamed, "Really, Ms. Mason?"

"Mistress," 3M corrected. The nickname suddenly made sense to Lani.

"Yes, Mistress. Thank you, Mistress."

"Yes, my lovely, silly little slut," she cooed. "You may be a defective, stupid, broken excuse for a lawyer, but you are an excellent fuck pet, now, so I will keep you. "

-----------

Mistress took Lani home that night. All Lani's things were already there since she'd been sleeping over at night for months before she was fired to better serve Mistress.

Mistress had already negotiated the broken lease, relocation of anything worth keeping, Lani's name change, and everything else.

Lani loved mistress so much, she was such a smarty, and Lani was a dummy.

Lani was given a little bed to sleep on at the foot of Mistress big bed so she would always be available to serve.

Finally, Mistress smiled at Lani, and told her, "You're such a good fuck pet. Here's your collar like a proper slave."

Mistress collared Lani, and put a little lock on the front to make sure it would never come off.

"Mistress loves you, Lani. "

Lani hadn't always been a silly, stupid, bimbo fuck toy, but she was happy that she would be for the rest of her life.

[retiredficwriter]

stumbled on this post about crazy ex-girlfriend songs applied to thg. as someone equally obsessed with cxg, va/bloodlines and just va/bloodlines in a musical setting, YOU KNOW i had to mix both.

but me being me, i went an extra mile and decided to tell (an exaggerated version) the plot of series through the songs.

vampire academy

i'm in a sexy french depression - lissa

feeling kinda naughty - rose

woman gotta stick together - mia

what u missed while u were popular - christian

let's have intercourse - dimitri

frostbite

a boy band made up of four joshes - christian

where's the bathroom? - janine

greg's drinking song - adrian

getting bi - adrian

maybe she's not such a heinous bitch after all - rose

you're my best friend (and i know i'm not yours) - mason

shadow kiss

i'm a good person - rose

what it'll be? - adrian

this session is going to be different - rose's therapist

i gave you an uti - dimitri

back in action - rose and christian

after everything i've done for you (that you didn't ask for) - rose

blood promise

i'm just a girl in love - rose

i’ve got my head in the clouds - sydney

i give good parent - rose and the belikov family

you go first - lissa and rose

real life fighting is awkward - rose and dimitri

settle for me - adrian

i love my daughter (but not in a creepy way) - abe

spirit bound

friendtopia - rose, lissa and eddie

slow motion - rose, lissa, eddie and adrian

the group mind has decided you're in love - rose, adrian, eddie, mia

hello, nice to meet you - rose and dimitri

don't be a lawyer - abe

you stupid bitch - rose

last sacrifice

this is my movement - lissa

trapped in a car with someone you don't want to be trapped in a car with - rose, dimitri, sonya, victor, robert and sydney

i want to be a child star - jill

we should definitely not have sex right now - rose and dimitri

nothing is ever anyone's fault - rose and dimitri

scary scary sexy lady - tasha

after everything you've made me do (that you didn't ask for) - adrian

the end of the movie - josh groban (c'mon... who else was going to sing this?)

be on the lookout for the bloodlines version!

[forthegoob]

Random thoughts of an unfocused person on season 17 episode 8 :

Are you ready? Because I'm not. I saw photos on CM insta where Emily is on the field and an other where Rossi looks sad. Plus, I read a spoiler on someone said Rossi kiss Jill Gideon.

2 remain. Only 2...

Directed by Zach Gilford. YAY. Oh did you know he played in a Taylor Swift music video ?

WOW BRIDGET VOIT IS HIS WIFE IN REAL LIFE. Okay Era, let the wiki page alone and start the episode. Please.

This is how horror movies begins.

So the old man is probably the creator of the Stuart house. GS-one. To five I guess ? Shivers when the music start.

"Rossi is a vault" JJ... you are right on this one.

I KNEW IT WAS HER ! I WROTE IT ON MY LIST OF PREDICTION! I FUCKING KNEW IT.

Oh Jill... "Hell is paved with good intentions" blablabla. Rossi will be so pissed about it though. So, she is on the list, isn't she ?

So, for now, they know GS-One and GS-five. But what about the other ? And what about the other houses then ? Did they'll keep it for next season ?

But the all, Rossi left because he fall in love with Jason's wife and he can't. "Right person, wrong time". It's bullshit. Don't make us believe he will leave the work of his life, leave his best friend who named his son after him, for such a stupid reason. David Rossi is a loyal man. "I wasn't as emotionally mature". Yeah, sure.

Tara and Rebecca get back together?!

They finally turn the lights on.

And Luke just kick the door open. Morgan's style.

TYLER ? The grey sweater... Oh my... Hello ?

Luke does geo-profile like in the good old days :) I recently start rewatch of CM at the season 12, because I miss Luke. I like the "lonely wolf" style he has, so he made twice as effort to fit in and the team is just so impressed everytime he makes a smart move. Oh yeah of course he knows latin...

Yeah Penelope it's "sexy". Luke is. Luke is smart. We love Luke, Penelope.

Of course Voit finds his lawyer on his network. He have it since years just in case. So he have something on him and that why he can ask him to reach Damian and do shitty work for him.

They talk too much about Jason's cabin to not ended here at some point...

JILL KISSED DAVE. Ok, Jill is dead by the end of the episode, because Dave is cursed.

Jade is somewhere and she'll killed him if he get caught, or Jill. Or both. (I FUCKING KNEW IT bis.)

This episode was good. I'm glad they didn't do "fan service" (but don't get me wrong, I LOVE fan service) on it and we just go straight to the point for once.

[onsunnyside]

…why do I suddenly have a need for a fic where reader convinces ransom to participate in no shave November? 🥵

you’ve always had a thing for ✨beards✨ and Ransom knew that before you two became exclusive (he’s seen your ex’s bc you had the same friend group: there was a long haired beefy professor, a divorced lawyer, and the wannabe porn director) *long drabble below*

On a night out on the town with your friends, and after a few drinks, the talk of no shave November comes up when you’re conveniently getting refills.

“I just think it’s weird—she clearly has a type.” Carol props her elbow on the table, staring at Ransom. “Yet, she ended up with you.”

“She’s never complained.”

“Maybe not to your face.” Bucky says.

“It’s the beard, right? Well, the lack of one.” Steve adds lamely, “I thought of that too, but people make exceptions.”

Ransom feels jealously prickle at his skin. He was not an exception.

“Especially if they’re rich.” Curtis laughs.

“Not everyone is a gold digger like you. That reminds me, how is that girlfriend of yours? The one who’s literal seconds away from being in a grave?”

“Am I on her will? Maybe. So don’t come crying to me when your trust fund runs out.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Ransom scoffs, knowing well enough of the fortune he’s sitting on. The one that could support you too, but no, you want to be independent and not sit around his mansion all day. Still feeling those eyes locked on his face, he sighs deeply. “Can I help you, Carol?”

“I can’t stop thinking about it!”

“Thinking about what?” You pop up, carefully handing out the drinks. There’s an extra that you place in front of your boyfriend. “Some guy kept flirting with me and asked to buy me a drink, so I ordered one for you.”

“You’re the fucking best, baby.” Ransom grins, slipping out of the booth for you to sit on the inside. He slides back onto the cushion with an arm around your shoulders.

“What would Ransom look like with a beard?” Steve asks.

You tilt your head and squint. “Like one of my ex’s.”

“Okay, but you like beards, right?” If there’s one thing everyone knows about Carol is that she’s relentless, “all of your ex boyfriends had beards, or at least facial hair. Like that one with the moustache or the nerd with the goatee.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a clean shave.” You defend, knowing how Ransom doesn’t like talking about your ex’s. It was rough for him to see you with other guys, the girl who he’s been pining for since you met. “Look at Steve! He’s bare too—well sort of.”

“I shaved this morning, is it growing back already?” Steve rubs his chin, “Aw shit.”

“Maybe he needs some tips on growing a beard.” Curtis taunts, “need some help, Ran? It wouldn’t be very kind of me to leave you to suffer.”

“If he grew a beard, would you be more attracted to him?” Bucky asks.

“You can’t ask that!” Steve’s eyes widened. “That’s so rude!”

“Shut up, the adults are talking.” He waves a hand dismissively, prompting the blond to roll his eyes.

“Well?” Carol leans forward, a straw between her teeth.

You’re quiet for a few moments, the tension building with every breath. Your friends were so nosy!

“I can’t say I’ve never thought of it.”

Three out of the four erupt in cheers, Steve now thoughtfully looking at his reflection in a spoon. “Do women actually prefer facial hair?”

“No!” You avoid Ransom’s stare that burns through your skull. “Everyone is different.”

“But do you?” Bucky cuts their stupid celebration short.

“I’m not answering that.” You take a hearty gulp of your drink, welcoming the burning sensation down your throat.

“Do you prefer it?” Ransom speaks up, turning his whole body towards you and effectively trapping you in the booth. His brows are furrowed tightly, “do you prefer beards?”

“I—well… I mean… ugh! You’re all terrible!” You huff, hiding your face in your hands. “Yes, beards are hot! They’re sexy and immediately add a man to my DILF list, okay?”

“You have a list too?” Carol squeals, “who’s on it? I have a MILF list!”

“Am I on the list?” Ransom asks.

“You aren’t a dad.”

Yeah, but you call him daddy. And plenty of DILFs weren’t actual dads.

Now that he thinks of it, you did have a thing for older men too—especially when you dated that lawyer, his son wasn’t your age, but he was close enough that your new stepmom status was questionable.

“I don’t classify as a DILF to you?”

“Do we have to talk about this now?” You slump, “would you look sexy with a beard? Yes! But you do you look sexy without one? Of course! You could pull off any look, and I love you for you. Nothing will change just because I find beards attractive.”

It goes quiet and you finally think the topic is over, but nope. Carol picks up the shovel again, and digs you a deeper hole.

“But I imagine the beard burn feels really good, right? Better than just clean shaved because of the sensations?”

[talesfromthesnogbox]

BNBG (Brand New Babygirl)

Summary: Alex buys Henry lingerie, Henry decides to recreate the Intimate Words video for him in turn. Sequel to I Want Your Video, but can be read as a standalone!

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5,187

AO3 Link

I Want Your Video AO3 Link Tumblr Link

----------

Henry was thinking of doing something stupid.

Well… not stupid so to speak, but something… uncharacteristic for him. Not that this was the first time he’d ever do anything wildly out of character.

You see, a few months ago, Henry did something for his friend Pez, stepped way out of his comfort zone, and ended up getting himself way more popular online than he already was, possibly a new kink, and a boyfriend. 

The boyfriend in question was Alex Claremont-Diaz, a lawyer that worked for Henry’s publisher, and quite possibly the most perfect man on the face of the planet. Smart, kind, considerate, gorgeous, talented with his fingers… and tongue… Henry really couldn’t have asked for anyone better.

Shortly after getting together, they’d decided to move Alex into Henry’s brownstone. Neither had ever lived with a partner before, but both of them loved it. There was an adjustment period of course, sharing a space with someone after living alone for years meant their routines had been totally thrown off, but the adjustment was worth it.

One thing Henry was never prepared for though was how much Alex spoiled him.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Alex to show up to Henry’s floor of their office building with a bouquet of fresh flowers, or his favourite tea, or lunch when his meetings ran long (his second book was this close to releasing). An excellent cook, Alex would come home and start lavish dinners when he could, taking the time and having the patience to teach Henry a thing or two in the kitchen (that didn’t involve either man’s pair of lips and a lack of clothing). Henry had become quite fond of baking, and in turn would show up on Alex’s floor of their office with a fresh batch of cookies for him and his coworkers.

Little gifts here and there meant Alex was thinking of him, and Henry had accepted them all gratefully. Alex had never been shy to offer his boyfriend a gift, until one day a month before the second book release date.

How to Keep a Heart, the much awaited sequel to Henry’s debut novel was due to release in exactly one month, and Henry was exhausted. The stress, and meetings, and marketing, so much had gone into this book, he wasn’t feeling like himself anymore. 

“I’m sorry love, I know we said we’d have date night tonight.”

Alex shook his head, rubbing comforting circles on Henry’s back. “Baby it’s okay, I’ll cancel the reservation, why don’t we order a pizza or something and throw on a movie.”

The last thing Henry wanted was for his stress to interfere with Alex and their relationship.

“Pride and Prejudice?”

Alex kissed Henry’s cheek and got up to order their pizza. When he came back to the couch, he was holding a small shiny bag, something soft wrapped in tissue held within it.

“I have something for you… it’s—I—I’m not sure it’s the right time to give it to you though.”

Henry smirked, holding out his hands for the bag, but Alex stepped away. “I was going to give it to you tonight to I dunno, help you feel sexy or something, but I don’t know if it’s right to do that when you’re feeling this stressed. And! And I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything with it or—I just want to preface this by saying I love our sex life.” 

“Alex you’re making me nervous.” 

“Sorry, I know I’m fucking this all up, I just haven’t bought… well I have, but I’ve never dated a man before you so this is kind of new territory.” He shook his head. “Nora once told me that when she’s stressed, she doesn’t feel good about herself, so she buys herself something nice to help that feeling go away. So I thought maybe if I bought you something nice you’ll remember how fucking gorgeous you are, and how much I love you and desire you. It’s dumb, I know, and you probably don’t—”

“Alex.” Henry was smiling. “Alex love, may I please see what’s in the bag? No matter what I’m sure I’ll love it.” 

Reluctantly, Alex handed Henry the bag. 

Henry shot Alex a grateful smile as he dove into the tissue, pulling out a neatly wrapped parcel. Carefully as to not rip the tissue, he pulled at the sticker and lifted the tissue.

“I-it’s really dumb, and we’ve literally never talked about this and maybe you’re not into it… it’s totally okay if you’re not into it, I can return it and we can forget this ever—”

“Oh.” Henry’s face blanched slightly as he held up the item. “It’s… it’s very soft.” His eyes widened as he turned the scrap of fabric in his hands. Alex’s gift was beautiful, and clearly made to fit someone with his anatomy, but Henry had never actually owned any lingerie. The light pink satin matched the colour of one of his favourite shirts. It was simple, entirely satin and elastic save for the strip of baby blue lace at the waistband, the material quite thick and looked well made. Gold beads adorned the strings of the baby pink ribbon tied in a bow right at the front, he almost hated to admit that immediately, he wasn’t opposed to the idea of owning it. Henry understood why Alex gifted him this. The thong was unlike anything he’d owned before, normally he was quite conservative in his underwear choices. 

“I’m sorry baby, I know we should have talked about this together before I went out and… I don’t know what I was thinking—” 

“Alex, love, you’re spiralling.” Henry stopped him, smile on his face. “Is this something you’ve thought about trying with me?”

“I-I mean, yeah. Baby, you’re beautiful, and I want you to feel like you are too. It’s just a little something extra to make you feel as sexy as I know you are.”

“That’s very sweet love, thank you. I don’t know if I’m quite comfortable wearing this yet, but can I think about it?”

Alex nodded enthusiastically. “Take all the time you need, and if you decide you never want to wear it, that’s fine too.”

---

“Lingerie?!”

“Pez! Keep it down, the whole restaurant doesn’t need to know this.” 

Henry had met Pez for lunch the next day for their longstanding weekly catchups, he’d filled his best friend in on the gift he’d received last night.

“Sorry Hazza, was just picturing you wearing it and I think I blacked out for a bit. Do you have a photo? I bet your sexy little arse looks fantastic in satin.” 

“Well I haven’t tried them on or anything.”

Pez tilted his head and assessed Henry. “Yet you’ve mentioned this little unmentionable to me, so you’re considering it, aren’t you.”

“I—” Henry’s cheeks flushed bright red. To reiterate, Henry was thinking of doing something stupid. Or… uncharacteristic. Stepping outside his comfort zone was not Henry’s strong suit.

“You are! I honestly don’t see the problem here babes. It’s just fancy underwear, and he’ll be the only one seeing ‘em anyways. You’ve already experienced la petite mort on youtube that thousands have seen, so what if your boyfriend wants to ogle you in some sexy panties in the privacy of your own home.”

“Yes but Pez, I’m a man. The first man Alex has been with. I… does he miss being with women?”

Pez tsk’d and took Henry’s hand. “Has he mentioned missing being with women?” Henry shook his head. “Well there’s your answer. Henry my love, it’s just fabric, I wouldn’t read into it too much. I own lingerie, many of my male partners have owned lingerie, hell I bet you even Philip owns—”

“I beg you to not finish that sentence.” 

“Point is babes, it doesn’t mean anything other than your hot lawyer boyfriend wanted you to feel sexy. Own it. And if you’re not comfortable going right for the big guns, I can send you some stuff to help you work up to it.”

---

Unfortunately for Henry, his best friend had always been true to his word, and by the end of his work day, there was a shopping bag left for him at the receptionist’s desk. 

There were only a few pieces, nothing over the top whatsoever, in fact a lot of it looked like things Henry wore every day, except instead of the worn cotton he was used to, the boxers and briefs in the bag were soft lacy things. The only outliers were a three pack of thongs from Armani, a brand of underwear he knew and loved already… he’d work up to that.

For the next couple days, Henry dipped into Pez’s bag of tricks, washed and hiding at the back of his underwear drawer. The lace felt much the same, only… breezier, and the more he wore it, the more he understood why Alex thought he would enjoy lingerie. No, nobody would see it, not even Alex, he’d decided… not yet anyways. It was a secret for Henry to know and nobody else to find out. But he felt mischievous knowing he was in the office, in meetings, chatting over coffee in the canteen with his publishers, knowing under his neatly tailored pants he was wearing a pair of black lace briefs that made his ass look like a dream. 

The stress from the upcoming release never went away, but he felt a switch within himself flick on when he caught a glimpse of himself in the morning, freshly showered and nicely cupped in lace. 

Days before his book release, he decided to finally try one of the thongs from Pez’s gift. It was… strange. From the front it looked no different than any other pair of Armani briefs he owned, but from the back… seeing his ass on display sent a shiver of pleasure through him. He threw on a pair of jeans, hyperaware of how the denim felt against the bare skin of his ass for the first time… ever. 

He went through the motions of his morning, brewing an Earl Grey the way he liked it, catching up on the news, and finally, joining his sister for their weekend FaceTime calls.

“It was all quite dramatic. But then I said… Henry, are you even paying attention?”

“S-sorry?”

Bea giggled on the other end of the line. “Baby bro your head is up in space. Is it the book release?” 

“I-I-I…”

“Did something happen with Alex?”

“Bea I’m wearing a thong.” 

She raised her eyebrow. “O-okay, and judging by your face, it’s the first time you’ve worn one?” Henry nodded. “Ah well I suppose it takes some getting used to. I was still in secondary school when I bought my first one, with Amber Smith y’know, dad picked us up and I ran right to my room and hid it from mum. But we’re adults now so no having to hide sexy underwear from nosy parents.” Bea gasped. “Is this a sexy surprise for Alex?”

“Y’know, you’re way too invested in my sex life as my sister.”

“Oh shut up, you’re like my best friend, we can talk to each other about this.”

Henry did love his sister dearly, and she did occasionally have sound advice. 

“I-is it supposed to feel like I’ve got a wedgie all the time?” Bea cackled loudly. “It’s not funny! Do people just walk around like this all day?”

---

After some thorough research, Henry concluded Bea was right, it did just take some getting used to. He found that he liked the way the thong gave him a clean base under his trousers with no visible lines, and he’d forgotten what he was even worried about… it was just underwear. 

The day of his book release had finally come, and Henry was happier than he’d been in months. His publisher had hosted a small party the night before at an indie bookstore where one hundred fans were invited to kick off sales. That morning, he’d posted on all his socials, knowing soon enough readers would be commenting and tagging him in posts with their thoughts. He’d decided to take the rest of the day off to relax and enjoy some free time before he really got to work on his third book, the only thing planned was a dinner with Alex, and the surprise that would follow.

“Dinner was lovely, thank you for treating me.” Henry left a light peck on Alex’s lips. “What do you say about a cozy night in?”

Alex smiled, the smile didn’t reach his eyes, but he didn’t say anything admitting disappointment. “Sounds great baby. Star Wars marathon?”

“Mmmm, you know me too well. I’ll just freshen up, but I’ll meet you in the living room.” 

Henry tore away from his boyfriend, grabbing the scrap of fabric and his vibrator from the Intimate Words shoot. Opening himself up and placing the vibrator took barely any time at all. Henry had been thinking about this all week, eager to finally give his boyfriend a weekend full of pleasure after the craziest months of their lives.

Once the toy was placed, Henry finally slipped on the soft pink thong Alex had gifted him just a month ago. He’d been experimenting, and he was used to seeing himself in pretty things, but this made him look exquisite. The pink satin was shiny and delicate against his skin, full and smooth where it held his partially-aroused dick. The blue lace complimented his alabaster skin, and brought out the colour of his eyes, but he knew Alex wouldn’t be focusing on his eyes tonight. 

Henry felt powerful as he positioned himself on their king bed, draping himself over a pillow, the remote to the vibrator hiding underneath it. From the mirror he’d positioned in front of the bed, just a few feet over from where it usually lived, Henry assessed himself. Nothing had even happened yet and he already looked debauched, his hair a glorious mess, the flush from his cheeks trailing down his chest, his pert nipples pebbled from the mix of the chill of the room with his partial nakedness and the anticipation of what was to come.

He cleared his throat, heart pounding, and called for his boyfriend. “Alex, love, would you mind giving me a hand with something?”

“Coming!” He heard his boyfriend call from down the hall. Oh you will be darling. “What’s up—” Alex entered their bedroom, and his jaw went slack. “Wow.”

“Hi dear, sorry if I startled you, I gave your little gift some more thought, and it turns out you were incredibly correct,” he trailed a hand along the lace at his hips, “I feel very, very sexy.” 

“O-oh my god, I… you… dios mio baby you’re a fucking wet dream come alive.” 

Alex rushed forward but Henry put a hand out. “Ah, one more thing.” He reached under the pillow and tossed the remote to Alex, gesturing to the plush chair in the corner of their bedroom. 

“What’s this?” 

Henry turned to retrieve the manuscript off his bedside table, hearing Alex groan as his ass came into view. He looked over his shoulder, wiggling his ass a little with an arched back, and pulled aside the thong to reveal the vibrator nestled deep inside him, with the L shaped base nestled snugly against his perineum.

“Well, you’ve watched my little video a few times now, I figured it’s a big day, why not recreate it. I know you’ve been dying to read the scene Shaan asked me to cut from the first draft, let me narrate it for you love, if you’d let me?” 

“H-holy fuck baby, really?”

“Tell me where you’d like me, Alex, this is your fantasy.”

Henry giggled as he could practically see the horny ideas float through Alex’s head. “I’m in charge?” 

“Yes love, my pleasure is in your hands. But—”

“I’m in charge but you’re in control. I know baby.” Alex stripped down to his boxers, his length already thickening with arousal. He handed Henry a pillow, and Henry knew already what Alex wanted from him. Bashfully, he swung a leg over the pillow, lowering himself so his own bulge still wrapped in the silky thong hung over the front of the pillow. “Look at you baby, already knowing what I want, like such a good boy.”

A shiver ran through Henry at the praise from Alex. He wiggled a bit on the pillow, the movement securing the vibrator in place, before starting as he did on camera.

“Hello love, my name is Henry Fox, and I’ll be reading from How to Keep a Heart by Henry Fox.” He giggled cheekily, watching Alex’s expression morph from full concentration to a goofy smile. 

Henry dramatically flipped the first page of the manuscript, eyeing Alex flirtatiously as he thumbed through the pages. “You absolute tease, you don’t remember what page it’s on?”

“No love, I didn’t memorize the page number for where the omitted sex scene started. And tease? How am I the tease, you’re the one controlling the plug in my arse. The plug that isn’t vibrating yet I might add.”

“Relax baby, it’ll start once you start reading.”

Henry rolled his eyes, but the smile gracing his features gave him away. “Chapter seven. The coast was clear; James tugged Gabriel past where the guards should have been stationed, and through the heavy door of his private chamber. He wasted no time pushing Gabriel against the door, and finally kissed him senseless. He hadn’t so much as tasted his lover since his father sent them away, and James was aching with need.” Henry shot Alex a look, and rolled his hips pointedly.

“‘You came back for me.’ Gabriel whispered in disbelief against the taller man’s lips. ‘No, you came back for me. Not my father’s jewels.’ ‘James mi amor, how could you ever believe I cared about some stupid shiny rocks more than you? You’re mi tesoro.’ James shuddered as Gabriel’s hands wandered down to his bottom. They’d only made love once, but James was shaking with need. His cock swelled as he ground himself against Gabriel’s thigh, torn between pulling him towards the bed, and wanting to give into his own pleasure right here against the door. His desire to be thoroughly fucked into the mattress won out, and he pulled away, reaching for Gabriel as his knees hit the edge of the bed. ‘I’ve been thinking about you, every night when the castle is quiet and the candles are snuffed out, but my fingers are nothing compared to your cock.’”

As Henry read on, the rest of the room falling away as he distracted himself with his own story, Alex clicked the button on the remote.

“James took Gabriel’s thick length in hand, and oh!” Henry’s head shot up to lock eyes with Alex, who’s deep brown eyes were solid black with need. His jaw went slack, the vibrations not powerful enough to throw him entirely off course, but distracting enough to make him want to stay in this position and ditch the manuscript. 

“Well? Go on baby, you were saying something about Gabriel’s thick length?” Alex took that moment to lower his boxers, his own hardness standing proud between his legs as he took himself in hand. Henry whimpered at the sight, and couldn’t help the roll of his hips against the pillow between his thighs. “So pretty for me baby, but those noises aren’t in your dirty little book, are they?” 

Henry shook his head, and brought the manuscript up to read from again. “James t-took Gabriel’s thick length in hand and swiped his thumb over the h-head, spreading the bead of pre-cum at the tip.” Henry’s abdominals contracted, momentarily taking his breath away as Alex pushed the vibrations to the next level. “‘I-I’ve never…’ James started, looking at Gabriel through th-thick lashes. He’d been wondering what the dark haired man would t-taste like, how it would feel to have him pump his s-seed down his throat, but James settled for a chaste kiss to the underside of Gabriel’s shaft— O-oh my god Alex.” 

His hand moved of its own volition towards his own hardness, and he shuddered as he drew circles over the soft satin of his panties. He reached in, over the waistband, but Alex suddenly stopped the vibrations. “Ah, ah, ah.” 

“Fuck.” Henry whimpered, his groan of frustration almost embarrassingly loud as his head hung forward. 

“No touchy.”

His hips rolled, trying to at least massage his prostate with the bulbous head of the vibrator, but it wasn’t enough. “Alex, please…”

“Begging already are we baby? Good boys don’t touch themselves when their boyfriend is supposed to be in charge.” Alex gave Henry a pointed look as he thumbed the underside of his dick. 

“I’ll be good, I promise. I just need…” 

“You need to stop touching yourself and let your toy do the work for you.”

Henry panted, but nodded all the same, adjusting himself so the head of his cock peeked out the top waistband of the panties. “Didn’t want to get them all messy.” 

A smirk crossed Alex’s face. “Mmmm, we’ll see how clean they stay.”

“James kissed his way up Gabriel’s oh god—” Alex pressed the button on the remote, cycling right to the midway point on the vibrator’s intensity. “F—fuck Alex.” Henry’s voice turned breathy, and his chest heaved as he fought to stay upright atop the pillow. “James kissed his way up Gabriel’s chest, licking into his belly button, stopping right under his strong pecs. He traced the underside with his tongue, teasing the skin around his nipples, smirking as his lover cried out under him.”

“Hey baby,” Henry’s eyes snapped up to meet Alex’s, “d’you wanna try something for me?” Henry nodded frantically. “Can you touch your pretty little tits for me please?”

A punched out moan left Henry’s lips, his hand shook as he dragged it up his torso to cup his flat pec. He threw his head back and ground his hips down into the pillow, whimpering as the vibrations finally hit just the right spot on his prostate. Henry had a past, Bea and Pez loved to joke about his “slut phase” (although Pez knew a lot more about Henry’s sex life than he cared to admit), but surprisingly none of his past lovers had ever given any attention to his chest. His hips stuttered as he gathered the courage to press into unknown territory and thumb over his nipple lightly.

It immediately pebbled under his touch, and a zing of pleasure shot down his spine as he did it again. “Christ”, he whimpered, arching his back into his hand. Precum dribbled from his dick, and he knew without looking it had already stained the pretty blue lace at his hips.

“Fuck sweetheart, look at you. So goddamn beautiful like that.”

“Wish it was your hands, your tongue Alex.” 

“Don’t forget about the other one.” 

Alex’s smirk was wiped off his face as Henry dropped his manuscript and locked eyes with him. He licked the pad of his thumb, keeping eye contact as he dropped his hand to his chest and thumbed the other nipple. His jaw went slack, and he leaned back on his other hand, grinding down on the pillow in earnest. Alex was speechless watching his boyfriend so lost in his own pleasure. He clicked the remote, upping the intensity of the vibrator and snickered as Henry let out a yelp of surprise. 

“Feel good baby?” 

“F-fuck. Incredible. Aahh shit.” He mewled. Henry’s hips thrust upwards and his abdomen contracted as the vibrator hit his sweet spot relentlessly. His thighs trembled and he repositioned himself again further back down the pillow so he could grip the front of it, knuckles going white. “I’m so fucking close Alex.” He sobbed. Alex upped the intensity again. If Henry was counting correctly, the toy was one setting away from full speed. His balls drew up as his already laboured breathing turned ragged, and he chased his pleasure, knowing he looked properly debauched now.

Just as he felt the beginnings of the tingling in his toes, the device stopped again.

“J-jesus christ Alex, fuck.” Henry’s heart pounded in his chest, his vision was blurred through frustrated tears. “Please let me cum.” 

Alex’s smirk was cocky as he stood from his chair, dropping the remote onto it carefully. His own dick was dripping, hard and hot, neglected as he’d instead watched his lover chase the pleasure for both of them. He drew a hand up to Henry’s cheek, wiping the tears away. “Not yet, mi amor.” 

A shudder ran through Henry at Alex’s casual use of Spanish. He knew it did something to him, and using it in the bedroom, when he was so close to finishing, was mean.

“Let me help you, baby.” He guided Henry down off his knees, and onto his stomach further up the bed. “Is this okay?” Henry nodded, whimpering as Alex joined him on the bed and drew his knees up under him. Even though he was still wearing the satin panties, Henry felt exposed. His head rested on his hands, chest on the bed and ass in the air. He moaned as Alex pulled aside his thong, tracing the tip of his finger around the rim of his hole. “Stay there.”

Henry heard Alex move off the bed. It could have been a minute, it could have been an hour, the throbbing of his hard cock was the only thing he could focus on until he heard the familiar snick of a bottle opening. Again, the scrap of fabric between his cheeks moved, and with a light tug, the vibrator was removed from his ass. His hole clenched around nothing, and fluttered as Alex’s fingers gently circled his rim. 

“Alex, don’t need it. Please.”

“Hen I’m a lot bigger than your vibrator. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t care, need you.” He wiggled his ass, trying to find any purchase he could against Alex’s thumb.

Alex nodded and began to slick up his dick with the lube he’d run to grab. Henry shivered in anticipation, gasping quietly when his boyfriend’s cock head finally tapped his hole. Alex eased in slowly, but Henry revelled in the feeling of the stretch. 

“Fuck baby, you’re tight. You’re sure you don’t need my fingers first?”

Henry shook his head. “No, too close. You feel so fucking good, please.” 

Once Alex was fully seated, both men shuddered. As much as Alex didn’t want to hurt Henry, the lack of prep made Henry’s ass tighter than it ever had been any other time they’d fucked. In turn, the fullness had Henry reeling, he held on for dear life, not wanting to cum until he was allowed to.

“Alex… please move.” Alex groaned deep as he gripped the other man’s hips, pulled out almost all the way, then thrust into Henry. It had only been a few moments, but Henry was already so fucked out, quiet gasps were the only sounds leaving his lips.

“Look at yourself baby, how fucking gorgeous you look.” Henry had forgotten about the mirror he strategically placed in view of the end of their bed. With all his strength, he tilted his chin straight, and groaned at the sight of them. Henry’s ass, full cheeks bracketed Alex’s trim waist as the tan man pounded into him, abs tight and glistening with sweat, clear focus gracing his features. 

The tip of Alex’s dick grazed Henry’s prostate, and from there he knew it was nearly over. “F-fuck, there… right there—” a choked out whimper left his throat as Alex relentlessly hit that spot. “I can’t—”

“Can’t what Hen?” Alex stopped all the sudden, panting and rubbing Henry’s back.

“For god’s sake Alex, I was about to cum.” He wiggled his hips, thrusting back as best he could on Alex’s dick. “Please let me cum.” 

Alex laughed. “Alright sweetheart.” He reached under Henry, and carefully pulled the front of the silky panties down, then thrust in again hard, knowing he’d found the right spot by the way Henry mewled. It only took a few more thrusts before Henry’s ass was clenching around Alex’s cock, his orgasm ripping one from Alex.

Henry shook, his toes curled, his hips pushed backwards into Alex erratically, and his fingers knotted in the bedsheets as he came with a shout. A steady stream of tears rolled down his cheeks as he felt Alex’s release fill him.

They both panted as they came down from their highs, Henry whining as Alex slipped out of him and moved him to lay down away from the wet patch he’d created.

“Surprise!” Henry blurted out breathlessly.

“Jesus Hen that was one hell of a surprise.” 

“Thank you again, for the gift. They’re beautiful and you were right, it does make me feel really sexy.”

Alex knocked his forehead against Henry’s, kissing his nose. “Sexy doesn’t even begin to cover how good you look. Selfishly, I’m really happy you decided to try it out.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to Henry’s, lazily kissing as they caught their breaths.

“Well… I kind of worked up to it you see… I have a whole new underwear drawer I’ve been keeping hidden from you, maybe I’ll show you sometime.”

“Oh my god I love you. Does this mean you’re open to me buying you some more pretty little pieces?”

Henry smiled deviously. “I think I’d rather like that.” He pushed Alex onto his back, straddling his hips and pinning his wrists to the bed. “Who knows, maybe I’ll do a whole sexy photoshoot for you,” he kissed Alex’s neck, “send you pictures at inopportune moments,” a peck placed softly to his lips, “maybe a video or two of me playing with myself…” Henry smirked as he felt Alex’s dick twitch beneath him. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes Henry, I’d be very much into that.’”

“Yes Henry, I’d be very much into that.” 

 Henry chuckled and fell back onto his place on the bed. “Did all that live up to your expectations?”

Alex kissed him softly, dragging Henry’s mostly naked body closer. “Exceeded them. By a long shot. I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, and it was really fun having you boss me around, but maybe next time I can be the bossy one.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “Fucking deal, sounds good, send me a g-cal invite and I’ll be there.”

Henry slipped the thong off and tossed it aside before snuggling into Alex more. “Hmmmm I know we should get up and shower but I’m so comfy here.”

Alex chuckled, stroking Henry’s hair lightly. “Give it like ten minutes and you’ll feel disgusting. How about we shower, grab David, and throw on Bake Off?”

“Sounds lovely sweetheart.”

“Talk to me again about that collection of sexy underwear you have now?”

Henry shook his head, smacking Alex’s stomach. “Another surprise for another time, love.”

“Can’t wait.”

[wasted-women]

ROUND 1D, MATCH 1 OUT OF 8!

Causes of Death & Propaganda Under the Cut:

Laurel Lance

Cause of Death: Stabbed

Propaganda:

Her arc was NOT over— she was about to retire as a superhero and be a kickass lawyer. Also you may want to fact check this but I’ve heard the showrunner (or at least someone near the top making big decisions in that season) hated her as a character

Vanessa Carlysle

Cause of Death: Shot by gangsters hunting for her boyfriend

Propaganda:

The first movie shows that she's so freakin cool and badass and confident and caring and sexy and doesn't take shit from anybody. And she's in the second movie for a Whole Scene before she dies and it's all about them having kids. And after she dies it's like she only existed as Wade's fiancee, like no one else is mourning her, does she have any friends?? Did she have any kind of life outside of Wade???

Despite Deadpool being known for being very aware of medium and genre, the writers of Deadpool 2 showed zero awareness in killing off Vanessa Carlysle solely to motivate her boyfriend, the protagonist. This is played completely unironically - the writers themselves say it! From a Vulture article:

"[...] Then I think at some point somebody just said, ‘Y’know, Deadpool kind of works best when he’s had everything taken away from him, when he suffers.’ So the thought was maybe we can really, really engender great suffering for him by having his line of work be the thing that costs Vanessa her life."

So they made them decide to starting a family only to kill her off in the same scene 👍.

Vanessa was originally not even supposed to die, but they changed that without a thought so the male protagonist would suffer more! And of course, the WAY she dies is made to be all about him, too!

The writers were apparently surprised with all the criticism they received for this scene! Because they were not aware of the concept of fridging at all. 😐

Just because you are aware what fridging is it doesn't mean you have a carte blanche to do it??? Being self aware doesn't make it less stupid.

Deadpool is literally about subverting overused comic tropes and the writers did not know about this overused trope and executed it to a T.

Eudora Patch

Cause of Death: Shot saving her love interest's brother

Propaganda:

Her and Diego have an interesting dynamic. Exes who clearly still like each other. They had a nice mutual trust and respect which would have been nice to see grow over time

In some of the short time we see her as her own character, we see her as a mature, level headed but ultimately kind.

Not only is her death purely to motivate Diego with a revenge motive, it only motivates him for the rest of season 1. Come season 2, He has a new love interest and Eudora doesn't even get mentioned.

I don't think Klaus ever even acknowledges her sacrifice saving him and yes he now has his own dead lover to grieve because god forbid character think about more than one person at once.