#suck it Cersei

[pandolfo-malatesta]

[greenbloods]

honestly hilarious that the lannister siblings are all history freaks in different direction. cersei rolls her eyes that jaime doesn't know what the second blackfyre rebellion was about while he rattles off the tale of ser luthor pisseryon of daeron i's kingsguard, who served for all of seven moons before he died shitting himself en route to dorne. meanwhile tyrion's sitting in the corner reading maester leomore's neo-myrxist critique of archmaester hargreave's account of the Storming of the Dragonpit (The Warrior Himself: Examining the Dying of the Dragons in the Light of the Seven) and not paying attention to it one bit because he’s moping about how everyone in kings landing hates him, the imp, because he’s ugly and rich, and not because he’s a feudal overlord who is fundamentally detached from the immediate concerns of his starving subjects

[emprcaesar]

in cersei and jamie‘s relationship, youd think that jamie would have all the power because he can physically dominate cersei and he does in the books but the one who has the most power in this relationship is cersei. she is able to manipulate jamie and make jamie do her bidding. like he could’ve been lord of casterly rock. he was the heir and he would’ve had a beautiful wife and had children and had the title and had the ranking but cersei told him “no you’re going to be a knight of the kingsguard so we can always be close to each other.” jamie gave up his whole life for cersei jamie gave up having a wife having a child having his own free will for cersei and jamie is so blinded by cersei’s “love” if that’s what you want to call it that he just looked past all of her terrible qualities and then when he meets Brianne and sees this woman who is really perfect in every way, but not like beautiful and is still so kind even though people are cruel to her. he changes his perspective on how someone should love you and how someone should act towards you, and when he comes back to kingslanding, after being with Brianne, he sees cersei’s flaws. when she burns down the hand of the kings tower and he sees the madness in her eyes and sees all the awful things she does and then when he leaves to riverrun to go take it from the blackfish and she sends the letter he’s so over it. he’s so over this shit she pulls and the way she treats people the way she treats him he can’t take it anymore.

also jaime says cersei is the only women he’s ever been with. jaime is this beautiful highborn knight with golden curls and a killer smile, he had girls drooling over him all the time but never even looked their way. then he meets brienne who he is forced to be in close proximity with and that is the first time he has ever had an interaction like that with a women that wasn’t cersei, that we know of but i feel like if he did it would’ve been mentioned.

[norringtondeservestheworld]

Jaime + Looking at Brienne in “Oathkeeper”

[ladystoneboobs]

Lord Tywin did not, in the end, shit gold.

so, let’s talk about the recurring motif of shit concercerning the lions of casterly rock/king’s landing. the tywin connection is perhaps strongest and most obvious, yet the appearence of either literal poop or poop talk comes up with all the other lannisters too, barring only myrcella and tommen.

i counted at least 9 mentions of the joke about tywin pooping precious metals. (8 in the main series plus 1 in the world book) this includes the title joke in his death scene, and then there are over 10 more references to tywin dying in the privy.

we’ve also got:

one of our first descriptions of joffrey’s bad personality is jon snow’s summation of him as “a little shit”. not literal poop in this case, but i thought the choice of insult was interesting. (in fact, i believe this is the only time that term is used this way. no non-lannister could ever be so shitty.)

tyrion’s first job from tywin being putting him in charge of all of the drains in casterly rock, presumably including the ones from the privies.

tyrion asking “why does a bear shit in the woods?” in response to cat’s question of why littlefinger would lie to her

bronn telling tyrion he won’t “m'lord you every time you take a shit” in the same chapter where tyrion tells the vale mountain clansmen that his “father’s smiths shit better steel” than their weaponry.

walder frey deeming tywin and stannis “both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit” (”think” meaning walder knows better, that tywin does shit and it’s probably just as gross and stinky as frey poop)

tyrion listing “magnificient destriers shit everywhere” as a reason his battlefield days were done (or so he thought) 

tyrion telling varys he should wear his rugen disguise to court and that it would make cersei “soil her smallclothes”

tyrion choosing to poison cersei with laxatives so that she’d be too busy shitting to bother him during court business.

tyrion deeming his predecessors, lords arryn and stark, “too honest to live, too noble to shit” (in this case i think he’s using “too noble” in a different sense than walder frey did, implying that shitting is practical and immoral, like any competant lannister would like to be)

the king’s landing riot on the day of myrcella’s departure starting with multiple clods of dung being flung at joffrey.

joffrey’s crown then being “dung-encrusted” as tyrion attacked him after they escaped the riot

tyrion telling varys and bronn that joffrey was not fit to sit a privy, let alone the throne

catelyn comparing jaime’s honor to the contents of the bucket where he’d been forced to piss and shit in his dungeon cell. an implied shit-for-honor metaphor which he returns to several times, twice in that last chapter with her and repeatedly (at least 7 times, the magic number!) in his own pov.

tywin’s horse taking a shit in the throne room right before he made his grand entrance post-blackwater

tyrion being trapped in a room smelling of “blood and shit and burnt flesh”  when he was warehoused with all the other wounded and dead/dying immediately post-blackwater

tyrion saying cersei treated him like a mushroom on his sickbed post-blackwater because she “keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit”

tyrion thinking of the upcoming royal wedding and its pie, believing that doves especially love to shit on him, a sentiment repeated on the wedding day

a king’s landing urchin trying to throw manure at tyrion, and later tyrion telling sansa they must keep the curtains closed on his litter to avoid those fecal projectiles. (the kingslanders seem to be very fond of dung-throwing since tyrion was told they also threw it at his vale clansmen as they were sent home)

jaime recalling that the mad king shit himself in his last moments (meaning jaime’s kingslaying and tyrion’s kinslaying came with the same odor)

jaime noticing the abundance of horseshit in the stables of the outlaws’ inn he and bri and cleos visit

jaime recounting that brienne had to clean him when he soiled himself in the saddle post-mutilation 

on jaime’s first return to harrenhal he notes “Someone had dug a privy trench in the very spot where he'd once knelt before the king to say his vows.” (gotta love all the obvious symbolism in jaime’s pov. “it was that white cloak that soiled me, not the other way around.”)

tyrion wishing the father’s statue would fall and “crush joff like a dung beetle” during the royal wedding ceremony 

jaime explaining the stink of the capital to his northern escort as “Smoke, sweat, and shit. King's Landing, in short.” (kl being a setting associated with the lannisters, perhaps even moreso than never-seen-yet casterly rock.)

jaime correcting a man at the gates of kl who thought tywin shit silver instead of gold

the hound saying sansa “shit on the Imp's head and flew off.” when learning of her escape

jaime seeing a crow shitting on blessed baelor’s statue as he and cersei spoke to mace tyrell at tywin’s funeral

tyrion seeing a pile of horse dung on the old valyrian road and thinking of his father down in some hell

tyrion telling duck and haldon "Pissing is the least of my talents. You ought to see me shit." as his means of introduction

even kevan gets into the poop game telling jaime "I was hanging outlaws and robber knights when you were still shitting in your swaddling clothes”

cersei then tells jaime that kevan will have his hands full at darry “teaching Lancel how to wipe his arse.”

cersei dreaming of keeping tyrion’s severed head in her chamber pot to pee and poop on

tyrion describing the smell of old volantis: “There's fish in it, and flowers, and some elephant dung as well. Something sweet and something earthy and something dead and rotten.”

tyrion thinkling the mud in the poorest part of volantis was the color of “a baby’s nightsoil”

tyrion noticing dung carts pulled by dung-tattooed slaves and almost walking into elephant dung until jorah snatched him aside

jaime meeting shitmouth on his 2nd return to harrenhal

cersei being disgusted by all the sparrows befouling baelor’s plaza “with their pigs and goats and nightsoil” (nightsoil = human poop euphemism)

jaime recalling merrett frey being branded by wenda the white fawn and “the kettles of shit his fellow squires made him eat once he was returned” (presumably in a figurative sense)

genna telling her husband he could wipe his arse with the deed to riverrun for all the good it did while the blackfish still held the castle

edwyn frey’s plan in jaime’s riverrun war council involving shit-smeared arrows 

jaime describing the freys’ messy siege camp with “raw brown mud, mixed with horse dung and torn up by hooves and boots alike” and only “flies, horse dung, and Ser Ryman's gallows, standing forlorn” left after their departure

tyrion thinking the people laughing at his fall in his and penny’s show on the ship would “have laughed hard enough to shit their breeches along with him[tywin]” if they’d seen him kill his father

then tyrion and penny being trapped during the storm with her dog and ever-shitting pig (and the ship’s creak sounding like “a constipated fat man straining to shit”)

tyrion again experiencing the “stink of blood and shit” in the slavers’ camp amid the bloody flux

tyrion thinking the yunkish supreme comander looked “as formidable as a loose stool” 

tyrion and penny having to clean yezzan’s pools of slimy, bloody shit after he contracted the bloody flux 

doing all that in “a miasma of sweat, shit and sickness inside yezzan’s pavilion” 

one of the second sons offering to behead tyrion and toss his corpse in the latrine pit upon his arrival in brown ben’s tent

cersei smelling the essence of kl upon her release from baelor’s sept: “the scents of sour wine, bread baking, rotting fish and nightsoil, smoke and sweat and horse piss. No flower had ever smelled so sweet.” 

cersei later slipping, during her walk of shame, in “something that might have been nightsoil”. which was probably not so sweet

cersei walking on, after she could see the red keep ahead, through mud and dung, bleeding and hobbling

brown ben plumm telling tyrion he’d have to shit into a bucket bc of too many eyes at the latrines

tyrion telling penny “Fight or hide or shit yourself, as you like, but whatever you decide to do, you'll do it clad in steel."

some of these are just turns of phrase or everybody poops situations included for the sake of comprehensiveness, but i do think the sheer amount of lannister-related poop references is meaningful. does it mean anything that tyrion, as tywin “writ small”, (and tywin’s most unfavorite lannister) is the child of tywin with the most shit references (or is just that he also has the most pov chapters?)? or that cersei, tywin’s other heir (and tyrion’s other abuser) ends up trapped in a privy after being dosed with laxatives by tyrion, and then tywin dies in a privy after being shot by tyrion? or that myrcella and tommen, the most innocent lannisters, are not so associated with shit? 

this imagery does have different meanings with each character. for tyrion it’s usually about his father and society at large shitting on him, for jaime it’s mostly about his solied honor and the dishonorable characters he interacts with, for joffrey and cersei it’s about the common people they disdain reacting to them, bringing them down by dirtying their bodies, human waste connecting the lannisters with those they rule, not so different after all. and for tywin, poop regularly ruins his moments of glory whether it’s his entrance to the throne room, his death failing to shit gold, or his very smelly funeral. but for all of them it is a humanizing element, showing they are just as gross and vulnerable as anyone else. jaime is no golden god, he’s a disabled knight at one point too weak to wipe his own butt in the immediate aftermath of his injury. perhaps that is the real lasting legacy of tywin lannister: a load of reeking shit which can be gilded like gold but never truly mistaken for perfection.  

[kryquy]

I’ve been drawing cersei a lot as practice recently

[atopvisenyashill]

I am so glad you articulated the criticism of Dany crucifying the slavers as a political folly and not a moral folly like listen I am a Dany fan if I could send asks from my sideblog you would know this but I do not believe we are supposed to just brush off the crucifixion like Dany herself isn’t even fully convinced it was the right thing to do. Remembering it she feels sick and has to shut down her doubts and TELL HERSELF it was right. She is an interesting character to me because she can’t stand the compromises she must make to maintain peace AND YET she does want justice and liberation BUT she also hates the suffering and bloodshed of war AND YET she is quick to command violence on impulse. I do think her peace in Meereen was real (big Meereen Knot Essays believer) but all of her internal conflicts lead her to her mistakes. Can’t stand peace but can’t stand war so she just tears herself apart!! It’s tragic! It’s interesting! So much more interesting than an unambiguously heroic Dany who makes no mistakes ever!

Yeah, like....it's certainly morally messy, and I think it's morally more messy because Dany isn't a slave of the Ghiscari like Missandei or an Unsullied like Grey Worm, Red Lamb, etc who is rising up and using violent revolution to liberate the slave class of Meereen - she is a descendant from a foreign, formerly slaving culture that enslaved most of the cultures represented in Meereen, someone of noble birth who has experienced immense suffering but was able to pull herself out of it because of her immense social privilege and magical abilities, using violence in an attempt to liberate those her family had once helped subjugate while...still keeping herself at the top of the pyramid.

There's a lot of mess and contradictions in this situation and I find it much less interesting (as you say) when people paint what Dany is doing here as unambiguously heroic. I know I sound like a broken clock when I say it, but the justification of "well this culture has slavery and slavery is bad" is the exact sort of rationalization many colonial and imperial powers make when conquering. White Americans made it about various Indigenous communities ("oh well the Iroquois had slaves and conquered their neighbors" yeah and white americans had chattel slavery which is objectively worse so what now??), the UK and France used it as a rationale for conquering most of Africa and parts of Asia; there's always this annoying through-line of "well Africans sold themselves into slavery" and I think making this argument that "Well the Ghiscari are brutal slavers" is really similar. And I know people don’t like the dragon/nuke comparison or the imperialism/colonizer comparisons but….what made the genocides of the Americas, and the colonization and imperialism of the 20th centuries stand out from the wars that came before is the sort of hellish combination of nationalism, political schisms, fervent hatred of the Other, and industrial growth. Never before could people amass armies and kill on such a massive scale before. Never before did we have weapons that were so fucking good at killing. Never before did we have the bureaucracy capable of streamlining the process so damn well! (and not for lacking of trying, shout out rome but like...still). I think the dragons are a commentary on that - when someone has access to technology like that, can one person be left to decide if it’s use is good or evil? can one culture not be completely corrupted by their technological advances? can nuclear bombs or weapons Ever be used for good, and if they can be then where is that line drawn? who draws the line? why does that person get to draw the line? I don't think any of this will have a clear answer because that's not exactly how he does things - he's just writing a scenario about this and letting us analyze why it happens on our own.

So it’s like okay the Ghiscari and Dothraki are slaving cultures...Sacking a city is still a violent, destructive thing to do and she does it three times including to a city she is attempting to rule. The moment she had an inkling she might be ruling Meereen, she should have rethought her actions there so she doesn’t start off alienating a large group of people. Coming in as a stranger from a culture who used to be slavers and constantly making comments about how much she hates the culture she’s ruling over is....not great! Dany going back and forth between "I hate these people I was right to crucify them" and "there's too much violence amongst these people I have to stop the violence" is why the issues in Meereen become so complicated. Does she have reasons for acting this way? Yes! It doesn't change the outcome of her actions!

What's interesting about her is that as you say, she does realize this conflicting dichotomy within herself! That’s like, the entire issue she’s facing in Meereen - she wants peace because she knows that’s what’s best for the people there and yet struggles to control her boredom and temper because she is too traumatized to sit still any longer. She’s associated the constant move, the constant fight, the violence and blood and death and destruction with righteousness, justice, goodness, and we can SEE it’s having a negative effect on her psyche, her emotions. She’s not HAPPY by the ending of adwd, she’s not self actualized, she’s just hardened herself completely in the face of this unending monster of a campaign. She wants off this ride and yet she’s unable to find a way out. I don’t think we’re meant to cheer her on here!! SHE is barely cheering herself on here!!! It’s a burden to her!!!!

[winterprince601]

i haven't heard anyone else say it, so I'M going to say it - guts by olivia rodrigo is so sansa-coded. "i'm ok with the movies that make jokes bout senseless cruelty that's for sure" "i scream inside to deal with it" "aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?" "everything i do is tragic/ every guy i like is gay" "i give up everything/ i'm plannin' out my wedding with some guy i'm never marrying" "and when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?" "and i'm sorry that i couldn't always be your teenage dream" like exCUSE me???

[smallhatlogan]

I think the whole "girlfailure" thing is getting a little out of hand tbh

[madashryver]

Crispin Cole: The King's Guard has never protected a prince from another prince before!

a few moments later...

Queen Allicent threatens the lives of the princes and princess Rhaenyra.

a few hundred years later...

King Aerys rapes his own sister and wife.

Ser Jaime Lannister stabs his king in the back.

Robert Baratheon humiliates Cersei Lannister.

King Joffrey Lannister humiliates, martyrs his future queen Sansa Stark.

[ilynpilled]

im gonna be petty for a second but i do think that some shippers do not actually care for jaime as a whole character that much. which is fine but idk y u have to pretend otherwise. like it is just hard for me to buy the claim that he is a huge favorite of yours when u ignore a huge chunk of his narrative. again i do not mind it if someone is only that interested in him as an extension of the narratives of characters they really do love, but when that turns into “i have an unbiased and better understanding of him and i love him for what he really is” it falls real flat when the take that follows is the most blatantly incorrect thing that contradicts much of his narrative at the core. and i do value ppl that are more critical of him i think it is good because i despise when he is woobified and reduced in complexity and ofc it can balance my perspective since i have such a deep love for him. but there is a difference between reductionist misreads and actual legitimate acknowledgement of his huge flaws, especially ones within the jc dynamic. and ofc the same happens on the other side of the spectrum where there is a tendency to ignore some major issues he has that r located outside of his dynamic w brienne. jaime is a character outside of these two ppl with incredible internal narratives that are not solely rooted in just his relationship with these women. he has a very complicated and layered relationship with the self and his grappling with that manifests in different ways.

[emprcaesar]

i have something to say about cersei.

her age regression is so interesting. when tywin is alive she comes running to him like a child when someone upsets her. there’s a scene where tyrion says some shit to her and she’s like “father did you hear what he said?!?” she is a little girl in the presence of her father still. she seeks his approval like she did as a little girl.

also when tommen and margaery got married she is jealous that everyone sees her as the new young and beautiful queen and not her. when she says she sees mace tyrell as the same age as tywin. even though he’s closer to age with cersei. she still sees herself as margaerys age. a young girl who is still valued and fawned over for her youthful maiden beauty.

[swugflower]

I can’t fucking people that in the year of our lord 2023 there are still people out there thinking that it was SANSAs fault that Lady got killed and that STILL blame her for Neds death.

My friends, did we watch the same fucking show???? Because I think the fuck not

[summerkng]

game of thrones book starters | accepting

【@dragcnsdaughter sent a raven】: ❝ i did warn you not to trust me. ❞

"and i did heed your warning," renly replied calmly, hands clasped behind him, smile polite & betraying nothing. "did you truly believe i trusted your word when you said you came in good faith ? with an army of savages and these beasts behind your back .. ?" he let out a quiet chuckle, raven locks swaying from side to side as he shook his head. even with one of the said beasts currently staring down at him, he was determined not to crack.

"i agreed to meet you in private — not because i trusted you too much but because i know you're smarter than what i've been told about you .. you see, i don't have much to lose at this point. i am aware that i'm likely to lose or suffer extremely heavy casualties if you attack the city, but then you'll have much fewer men to defend the north with .. on the other hand, if you decide to kill me here and now after claiming to have come to 'negotiate', well .. then i'll be celebrated as a martyr, and even if you do take the city by force you will never, EVER be their queen .. not with their most beloved king's blood on your dainty little hands."

renly ignored the way the dragon let out a short screech as if he sensed his mother's discomfort, still smiling at her with all the innocence he did not possess. "i am not my brothers, my lady, i will not fight you with swords and axes but with things a lot more fatal than those, by which you do not have here."

love.

[braimeisotp]

The number of people on Tumblr following each topic!

😆😂🤣 SUCK IT, Twincesters! 🤣😂😆

[musical-chick-13]

I have to periodically go into the character tag because that's the only way to find fanart and meta.

Unfortunately. Well. I have to. You know. Go into the character tag.