#superyummy

[peugeotandkoga]

surly

[thedarkfiddler]

An Incomplete and Ever-changing List of Canonical Fates (Possibly Worse Than Death) That Can Befall Blaseball Players

With Blaseball having returned, and us having solidly decided to continue to make horrible mistakes again and again, I thought it might be helpful to not only remind people that Blaseball is a horror game, but perhaps list some of the terrible fates that have historically affected our beloved blorbos and could, presumably, come back again.

As The Game Band continues to develop the game, this list will no doubt grow.

Before we begin, it's worth noting the default state of Blaseball players isn't exactly rosy. The site originally said that the players are "inhuman", and we know that the only time they aren't allowed to play is when the League is on Siesta. Now, whether Offseasons (like the one we're in as of my posting this) counts as a Siesta or not is unclear, but that means it's quite possible that the players are simply always playing as long as they're in the League and as long as the site is up. No matter what dangers they face, they simply play, the same way they always would.

Now, without further ado, fates that can befall Blaseball players, arranged largely chronologically based on when they were introduced:

Incineration - the big one. Players can be Incinerated at random by Umpires during Eclipse games, but also by various other forces such as Blessings and Decrees ostensibly chosen by the fans that love you. When you're Incinerated, you go to the Hall of Flame in the Trench. What happens there is largely unknown, canonically.

Sacrificed in the Stands - okay, cheating somewhat because this one happens to Fans, not Players, but I would be remiss not to mention that in Season 2 the Philadelphia Pies canonically sacrificed Fans to curry favor with the Gods and earn a better tiebreaker.

Being Renamed, Remade? - Throughout Blaseball, there's many instances of players being renamed and, in theory, remade. The Wyatt Masoning was the first big one, but the Dan > Peanut conversion and Scattering (will be covered later) are also examples.

Allergic (and Yummy) Reactions - the passing of the Peanuts Decree saw Peanut weather, during which players could eat a peanut and either have a horrifying Allergic reaction or a Yummy reaction. Players also eventually could be made Superallergic (self-explanatorily bad, hopefully) and Superyummy (which seemed to act like a peanut addiction, almost).

Various Body Modifications - too many to list individually, but Blessings would freuently be things like being put on The Rack to stretch, being subjected to Exploratory Surgeries, and being possessed by Performance-Enhancing Demons.

Feedback - a tear in reality forcibly merging two parallel universes and suddenly you don't exist in the same place you did before.

Thomas England - after being incinerated S4, Thomas England's death was undone when the game had to be rewound. However, he was still Incinerated, so the devs wrote over his player data with Sixpack Dogwalker's. Thomas England essentially no longer exists in the game in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER and is probably the worst example of somebody canonically straight up never having existed in the game.

Alternates - Introdued as the Alternate Reality Decree, but eventually being used basically any time a player got rerolled, Alternates were explicitly taking you and replacing you with a version of yourself from an alternate universe. Presumably, you went back in their place.

Blooddrain - often seen as blood rain, but Blooddrain weather involved Players siphoning off each others' blood - and their stats.

Shelling - S6 also introduced the concept of Shelling, wherein a player would be trapped inside of a giant peanut shell. Blaseball being blaseball, they still had to play - stepping up to bat (but being skipped) and fielding hits regardless.

Necromancy and Debts - the other big ones. When Jaylen Hotdogfingers came back, she arrived with a Debt that required her to bean players, mark them as Unstable, and claim their lives via Incineration. The Debt was eventually Refinanced and Consolidated into less deadly forms, but Jaylen kept it for a long time. The debts would come back in various forms for various reasons, and there's enough to fit an entire post here, frankly.

Instability - related to Debts, but Instability marked you as increasingly likely to suffer Incineration. Players would walk into Eclipse games knowing they were likely as good as dead.

Receivers - being used as a mouthpiece for a God or God-like entity (The Microphone's messages replaced the Players' pre-game rituals, in a way overwriting the Players themselves).

Birds - during Birds weather, you can be attacked by and forced out by Birds. People who have made allies out of the Birds can wield them in even more specific ways.

Subjection - being subjugated by a mad God's will and forced to play for him against your friends and allies.

Curses - being forced to play against a God, getting crushed, and then saddled with a Curse that alters your fundamental behavior during game.

Ascension - forcibly relocated to another plane of existence with none of your friends, a plane of existence inhabited by beings that are simply beyond your level of power.

Charm - being charmed by a Player with Love Blood so thoroughly that you cannot help but to betray your team.

Percolated - after being Observed, you are picked up by a Saucer and Percolated. Given this happened during the Coffee Cup, and a later fate that occurred to the detectives, it's quite possible these players were legitinately turned into Coffee.

Elsewhere and Scattered - being swept away by a flood of Immateria and finding yourself in another part of reality, only to return having left behind parts of your innate personhood that only gradually return.

Crushed by a Black Hole - the Crabs and their Unholey Blessing crushed an opposing player when they activated a Black Hole. Admittedly, for how scary it sounds, this was "only" a -1% stats.

Echo and Static - you begin to mimic other players and some of the many terrifying things about them (including allergies and being stuck in a giant peanut). Then, if two of you try to Echo each other, you simply vanish from existence, feedbacking and fading into the background noise of the universe.

Consumer Attacks - we still don't know exactly what Consumers were, but they were constantly lurking and would randomly attack you, literally eating part of your Soul once your team became too heavy and sank too far. Related...

Ego - because people like you so much, ypur Soul gets weighed down with Ego, making you and your team heavier.

Redacted - being Observed after interacting with a player who Came Back Wrong from the dead OR having the last bit of your Soul eaten by a Consumer both lead to you bevoming Redacted. Originally it seemed you straight up were erased from existence, but then you wander back into reality as an Attractor with your stats artificially bloated.

Legendary and Replicas - finally, your popularity becomes so grand that you are pulled from your world and forged into a Legendary Hall of Famer. Then, Replicas are made of you and sent out to the teams you loved and hated and take your name and take your place while you're kept on a metaphorical shelf.

Decocted - still a lot we don't know about this one, but the detectives eventually got recalled and, through some espionage,we learned they were Decocted by the Baristas - their Souls served to the Consumers?

And now as we head to NEW Season 2 we have Cursed and Knighted. Who knows what else awaits us?

[morethansalad]

Superyummy Sauerkraut Sandwich (Vegan)

[enhancedpartytime]

day 8: peanuts remember superyummy? that was a weird detour in jimmy's arc huh.

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[marcedrickirby]

Monte Cristo sandwich. This is the best sandwich I've ever eaten!

MARCEDRIC KIRBY FOUNDER CEO.

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[ileasfitlife]

Finally trying @ghostenergy out. #Superyummy!! Taste just like #sourpatchkids !! #energydrink https://www.instagram.com/p/CgHmhg7OkUg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[siarafoodrecipes]

Watch Recipe at https://youtu.be/yhmMm9-QEXY

[meallines]

Chicken Florentine Recipe

This Chicken Florentine recipe is full of flavors and full of nutrients too. Super yum and tasty for sure!

Get recipe & instructions to make Chicken Florentine

[livingketo]

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[morgana17-69]

#SuperYummy #Romanian #chocoltes 🙌😋 thanks to my colleague https://www.instagram.com/p/BxkWLhhoaNp/?igshid=k3t24q18fpul