#syf!starter

[damianbyrd]

So, I finally come back here from a visit back home, and the first thing I do straight up is lose competitive Frisbee competition.  I was lured in on the quad by some guys who claimed it was “just good fun.”  You know how strange it is to lose at Frisbee? Because I do. And that, my dudes and dudettes, everything in between, because it is a painful thing indeed.  It’s a humiliation that won’t die. 

Seriously I think they’re in like, a league or something. 

Also, for those who don’t know me. Beyond “weird dude that sits on the grass outside the philosophy hall.”  I’m Joe Hart. 

Frisbee loser. 

[ginsburg-sam]

Do you think those really clever engineer guys, or software developers, or just generally smart people could figure out a way to turn off the sun? Because my blinds aren’t doing the job and I have a hangover that only darkness can cure. How’s everyone else holding up after the New Year’s Eve celebrations?

[mottacommasugar]

There’s a dude wandering around with a full-sized dart board attached to his backpack and another dude following him asking people if they wanna throw a dart for five dollars. They’re completely sober and both wearing helmets, so, that’s something. This school is weird as hell. 

[ginandsmythe]

TEXT ✉️ OPEN

SEBASTIAN: I’m stuck in the airport for another few hours, so I’ll be accepting entertainment in the form of nudes, sexts, or whatever you think is worthy of my time. If I don’t reply, that’s on you for being boring.

SEBASTIAN: If you’re ugly, don’t bother with photos.

[zizeschmizes]

I really appreciate Florida leaning into its rep for being the epicenter of weird shit ‘cause I’ve seen so many kiosks selling ‘Florida Man’ t-shirts. Forget Disney trinkets, now I’m making it my mission to find the worst Sunshine State souvenir possible. The cheesier, the better.

[puckermansjake]

Apparently writing in an essay that it’s total bullshit is grounds for coach to run me into the ground. Had to be at the fifty yard line this morning at six. So much for freedom of speech and a lazy Saturday.

[pearhipshummel]

Text | Kurt ↛ Open

KURT: What's the protocol for cooking a lot of food with an injured wrist?

KURT: I only ask because I find my wrist out of commission and I'm debating on starting extra early and just warming everything back up the day of because I'm down to one useful wrist. Not an impossible feat to accomplish, just more challenging.

KURT: May be karma seeing as I was the one who was carrying like 20 grocery bags at once so I didn't have to make two trips. Who knew five gourds could be so heavy and damaging to the body. 🌈🌟 The More You Know.

[lyricalbowties]

It’s been quite a week. And I’m stuck awake at this hour unable to sleep for one reason or another. I don’t think my sleeping habits took this much of a hit last year. Then again, I could have blocked it all out.

I couldn’t find much of anything on TV so I ended up watching QVC...what little money I had saved up has taken a hit. And in 3-4 weeks I’ll be the owner of a mini donut hole maker, and bedside Himalayan salt lamp in blue.

I shouldn’t be allowed access to my debit card when running on three hours of sleep.

[stshowface]

My siblings are trying to get in contact with me again. They’re the human form of herpes. Like clockwork, every year around the holidays, they reach out under the guise of wanting to ‘catch up’. Then they ask me for money, a place to stay, or worse. I’m allergic to incompetence and they both reek of it. How do I get rid of them for good? I can only change my number so many times.

[thepuckrman]

TXT MESSAGE 📩 puck ⇆ open

PUCK: mark sunday on your calendar off 'cause Chez Puckerman is opening its doors to you

PUCK: one of my clients couldn't pay for their stash with cash but could pay me in some of his crop. figured that meant some of his own "product", but turns out he meant pumpkins. a shit ton of pumpkins.

PUCK: so if any of you suckers wanna take one and carve or fuck it or whatever, feel free. otherwise i'm just tossing them off some roof on Halloween.

[ginsclarington]

We’re finally getting cold weather, and I could not be more pleased. Now if only the group of simpletons who are always outside the library could move when they’re told to, my day would have started without a hitch.

[funsizedcedes]

text 📲 open

CEDES: I've been told to inform you, that the POY gals are having a party tomorrow.

CEDES: There's no discussion, you're coming. If I have to watch the Fall '17 sisters act like they can hold their liquor then so do you.

CEDES: On the plus side, I will be sipping a refreshment and I'm told that Hennycedes can belt a mean whistle note.

[ginsburg-sam]

Can knives pass as a certain type of home decor if they’re stuck in the wall? Asking for me. 

[letsgsantana]

text message 👀 open

tana: on a scale of Robert Downey jr. in the 90s, and a mom with four kids, and a missionary marriage, having her bottle of wine a night, how much of a drinker are you?

tana: my usual sober driver had a mental breakdown and is headed home. So I’m going to need a substitute. I’m taking applications. I pay in cleavage and my presence.

[ginandsmythe]

I don’t know what’s been worse this week: the annoying carolers taking up space all over campus or the amount of stressed out people crying in every corner. All I know is that I didn’t spill my hot coffee on any of them, so there’s my act of charity for the season. Is Christmas over yet? Because unless I’m going to wake up to Chris Pine wrapped with a bow under the tree, I’m over the holidays.

[zizeschmizes]

texts 📱 ⇆ open

LAUREN: there's a guy dressed up as Jesus, at the coffee shop and he ordered a water with his americano.

LAUREN: feels like I'm about to witness a miracle at work.