#tabitha-doesnt-write-here

[haveyoureadthistransbook]

Structural Integrity by Tabitha O'Connell (me!) has a trans man MC!

Thank you for the submission, I added it!

[shrikebrother]

Do you have any good YA recommendations that have actually dark themes or depict teenagers in a way that's even remotely realistic? I never read YA bc it always feels so fake but maybe I'm not looking in the right places

OKAY so. please hear me out bc im abt to recommend u a fanfiction series but i swear to god its very far removed from the source material so u can just like. read it on its own. it’s called twin skeletons (here’s the link), and i’m sure i’ve talked abt or at least mentioned it on my blog before but its just very very special to me !! it rlly feels like ur getting in the heads of these Awful teenagers and all of the subjects r dealt w/ in like. such a raw & unfiltered way in my opinion. it doesnt feel fake or preachy or like the reader is being talked down to or anything. the writing can be messy & imperfect bc its a fic from a couple years ago, but i still think its so so good and so worth it. the characters felt so real to me & it was dark & complicated & frustrating & it managed to stick w me years after reading it & i love it so much. i use it as a big inspiration for how i would want to write teenagers if i ever. like. actually got arnd to writing anything. maybe my own sentimental feelings r making me biased but god i just think its such an amazing coming of age story and the writer just Understands how teenagers think and act so well and u should absolutely read it if u want a realistic YA story

for actual published work, i have more trouble bc u r right! finding published YA that doesnt try to water things down can unfortunately be v difficult & most of these r just books i read in my school’s library or in the Teen Section of my local bookstore a long time ago & particularly stuck w/ me & some of them im not even like. That sure counts as YA i just know that im a Young Adult who read & enjoyed it & it was also abt Young Adults. maybe its cheating but i honestly dont think that whether or not its Officially Supposed to Be YA is that important, im assuming ur just trying 2 find good coming of age stories

these arent in any particular order im just listing off whatever i think

speak by laurie halse anderson

allegedly by tiffany d jackson

forgive me, leonard peacock by matthew quick

dare me by megan abbott

perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky

catcher in the rye by jd salinger (uve most likely already read this but it wouldn’t feel right to leave this classic out)

my heart & other black holes by jasmine warga (a little rushed at times but felt like a breath of fresh air after trying to read annoyingly pretentious trainwrecks like fault in our stars & all the bright places. does what those novels Tried to do but manages it well in my opinion)

these violent delights by micah nemerever (not considered YA lol but i asked the author personally & the characters r like. 16-17 for majority of it & its an incredible book that i want everyone to read anyway so! why not put it here)

my dark vanessa by kate elizabeth russell (definitely not supposed to be YA but a lot of it is from the perspective of a teenage girl & i can imagine it being in my school’s library & its very good & relatable so!! again why not put it here!!)

black iris by elliot wake (i think this is considered more new adult than YA but whatever)

fault line by christa desir

forbidden by tabitha suzuma

hell followed with us by andrew joseph white (not sure if u can call this realistic considering its fantasy but its dark & definitely YA & it has body horror & i liked it so it’s going in)

house of hollow by krystal sutherland (again, this is a fantasy, but i thought it was pretty good when i read it & its YA so it’s going in)

i’m somewhat delirious after taking a nap so im srry if this is like 97% of me just rambling or not making sense. i know our tastes r probably not the same so some of these (or just YA in general) may not be for u but i rlly hope u enjoy or appreciate any of these if u ever decide to read them <3

[godheadjones]

Here's a Jabitha ask! What are your headcannons around how Jabitha look after each other when they're sick?

omg yes i mean i hope they never get sick but if they did i think so many cute things could happen

tabitha would still try to work (like the workaholic she is) so jughead will literally carry her to bed and tabitha would fall asleep immediately

following up a bit on the last one, jughead watches her sleep a little bit and like brushes hair out of her face adjusts blankets makes her sleep super comfortable even if she is sick

tabitha is grumpy when shes sick and jughead will ask “how are you” but she just snaps at him and jughead brushes it aside and will make sure shes as okay as she can be until he gets a not-grumpy honest answer

jughead will take a sick-day at work (school and pops) for tabitha even tho hes not sick just so he can be by her side until shes well

jughead doesnt let her do anything around the house. tabitha will try to distract herself with household stuff but jughead will have everything done and will sit with her when she says she needs to sweep or

tabitha goes to pops still while jughead is sick but works significantly less hours than usual and brings pops home for him

jughead is in his rainbow robe a lot when hes sick so tabitha has to prye it off him to wash it and the germs

tabitha will not hesitate to make jughead soup if he asks for it and she uses a family recipe when he does ask

if jughead gets writing inspo but is too weak to write it down tabitha writes his notes down for him to help him out

tabitha checks his temperature obsessively to see as it goes up and down and she notes each time and temperature in a notebook until jugheads temperature goes down

thanks so much for the ask <3 i had a few more ideas i didnt know how to word but i hope that these are good :)

[maamlet]

out of curiosity whats ur criticisms on new vegas? asking bc i almost certainly agree

ive got a few strap in. from a gameplay standpoint (not including problems that fo3 has as far as gameplay bc they share a lot thanks to the engine) it has a couple special stats that are functionally worthless (charisma doesnt determine outcomes of speech and barter attempts, only skill level does and you can boost that independently, perception only controls the distance at which you see red dots on your compass, which is like nothing). the beginning of the game is wildly hampered by the map being too accurate to the actual mojave bc you either a. fucking die going one of the “wrong ways” or b. go the “right way” and spend like 6 hours doing the same exact thing you did last time you played, which is wack in an open world game

WRITING wise theres the fact that the game really lets you decide Who you are before the start of the game (which rules) and then lonesome road throws that all away to make you personally responsible for a nuclear disaster against the players will. theres a few jokes which land at first and make you chuckle but if you think about them in depth at all its like. wait hold on (most glaring example is the “i have a theoretical degree in physics” joke which is funny but like. theres no colleges where would he get a degree in anything why would they fall for that). also the game like. okay this is an insane beef to take with the game but im fairly certain the most karmically positive end you can get is the mr house ending which is like. okay libertarian. which highlights a big issue i have with morality systems in games bc its like. okay heres the correct answer and the mean answer

separating so this isnt a big block of text lol. tabitha and lily bowen are like. blatant man in a dress jokes (tabitha much less so) like “oh haha isnt it funny that this large masculine person calls themself a women. isnt that so so funny” no it actually isnt dude. the only two poc who can be companions (back to lily hello) are both also considered inhuman monsters in the lore of the series by most people. and while im on raul who i love. whys he the only companion that doesnt hate the legion. Wack. also the two gay companions both happen to come from fascist organizations, and theres like. they literally have dont ask dont tell in the ncr. the least homophobic faction is the legion and theyre FASCISTS outright. wack

thats probably not everything but its everything i can think of atm

[ants-personal]

Jim Gordon reacting to the power couple that is cranska? 😂😂😂

jimbo over here like is there any rogues who are straight *freeze rises his hand* bdnwnd nk truthfully i dont really know depending on when he finds out he might not consider it the most important thing

A possible way is he has jerome in interrogation thinking of course jerome doesnt care much for loyalty but to his surpise jerome doesnt give jonathan up and then mention the lawabout couples tattling on eachother but that only counts towards married couples jim would point out and jerome just eh close enough

Jim would probably do that like confused face he does and just so your saying you and jonathan and jerome would just make kissing noises and jim just ... right and well hed probably go out to harvey who makes a joke about how of jerome can land someone any sad sack in this city can

Jim would agree its unusual everything he knows about those two is that well they only care for a few things and that doesnt include others so its probably either a lie or hes telling the truth but they arent like an actual couple just matter of them being bored since jerome esp isnt capable of love

So when jerome eventually escapes custody and jonathan is caught anyways harvey would probably be the one to just so you and that crazy ginger huh and jonathan would just and what about it fkkec probably assuming jerome did help either by choosing or by just running his mouth but nope jim points out that jerome actually didnt which makes jonathan smile

And if either comments after that jonathan would probably point out how they only think thye cant care about others to make it easier to think them better but in reality esp jim is just as bad as them besides isnt the lovely doctor lee techincally a member of this cities mafia running the narrows wouldnt they lie and kill for eachother its no difference course jerome and him do it for more then just love but still

Basically jonathans comin for jims wig harvey would still make comments and poke fun but i mean all the rogues harvey is an asshole anyways so plus itd be to easy to drag him and hed just help you too so

Idk jim isnt a character i really well like so i dont spend alot of time trying to write for him and stay in character but i honestly dont think hed say anything even if he thinks it i mean i believe he ever even commented on oswald and eds or Barbara and Tabithas relationship? I honestly think he just doesn't see it as important and only cares when lees in a different relationship ksmxms

[karrova]

okay i need to talk about some things. tonight i had my workshop for class, a workshop that i was extremely distraught about, i felt that i’d put way too much of myself in the piece i submitted and i felt like it was really going to hurt me to hear people talk about the things that were wrong with it. and what the fuck, i went and i was the last story our professor wanted to talk about and i was fucking shaking the entire time and he just fucking read word for word what i wrote and and talked about how smart and emotionally honest it was and idk wtf. three people sent me their responses over email and they said that it was their favorite piece they’ve read all semester. i’m just idk. i just dont understand. 

and after my workshop was finished my professor said “i’d like to talk to you two after class” and pointed at me and my best friend. and everyone left and we started talking and he told us we’ve been producing phenomenal work and that we should be taking graduate classes and that he was going to talk to some of the graduate teachers about getting us into one of their classes which is just like wtf? and he was talking about graduate school and how he’s there for us with whatever we need and like two days ago i was like okay I'm going to put off grad school but now wtf am i supposed to do?? 

i dont know what i’m supposed to do. on one hand i’m like i want to take year off and just like pick a few places to go live in for months at a time, like spend two months in rome, move on to somewhere else and do the same, maybe spend a few months in chicago because i love it there so much. i dont know. i’d just like to leave this place for a while but at the same time, how realistic is that? i cant just take a year off and read and write and travel. where’s the money for that coming from? also the terror of not going to grad school and then getting trapped in my home, stagnant, working a job i hate just to have something to do with my time sounds like utter hell and i cannot do that. that’s what terrifies me most about putting it off, and i know it’s only a year but i’ve been so miserable now and i have a lot going on a lot of distractions, and then who knows what cycles of misery i might fall into.

going to grad school would mean certainty which is something i’ve desperately been trying to find recently. i’ve been so utterly uncertain about everything in my life recently. idk. i just can’t understand this. i dont get it. there’s so much upheaval in my life recently, i just want something stable finally, i want something to cling to and i dont have that. i dont know. i just can’t believe this is happening. i dont understand why things are happening like this? i cant find any semblance of meaning or comfort or idk idk what i’m looking for. 

and beyond this i’m obviously so lucky and fortunate to have this professor who i’ve looked up to for so long come to me and tell me that he’s there with whatever i need from him. i dont know. i love him. im so lucky to have him as my teacher and to have him believe in me. belief in other people is fucking weird. im lucky to have his belief but it doesnt feel real. 

also, how am i supposed to be a writer when i hate the idea of myself existing outside of myself. i hate knowing that people out there can think of me and have thoughts of me. i dont like knowing that i’m a real person and that’s all writing is, it’s sharing yourself, even if it’s not really yourself, there’s always some part of you in there. i dont know if i can handle doing that. i was actually shaking when they did my workshop because of how uncomfortable i was. and he started reading it line by line? i dont know. i dont know.

maybe i go abroad and teach english somewhere, that’s always an option right? for a year? fuck and then i think about having to leave the people i love and i cant let myself because the pain of knowing we’ll have to be separated is unbearable. i just cannot even comprehend it yet, and i dont know what that means for when the time actually comes to separate and let go. fuck 

i dont know. there’s way too much pressure put on people to achieve society's idea of success. it’s way too much and it’s fucking unfair. i’m shocked that people dont understand that. i guess life isn’t fair in general but it really should be a little easier, i dont care what anyone says. 

at least i have bjork, and rilke, and keats, and anne, and anaïs, and darl and jewel, and townes, and william, and tabitha and mary and hunter, and jack, and michael and chloe and sonja, and mike and ryan, and chad even though we havent spoken in a while and there’s a strange distance that’s painful to think about. and i have my family and my sweet puppy dog turner. the other day my dad asked me if i was happy and said that i didnt seem happy. and i lied and i told him i just had a lot of work and i was tired. and i wonder why i did that. i have so many chances to tell people how i feel and that i’m not okay and i always choose to lie and i really wonder why i do that. i did a psychedelic drug in early august and the entire time after the initial first few hours i kept trying to figure out why i am the way i am and i cant fucking figure it out, i couldn't then and i cant now, but i can see all these walls i put up and i can recognize all the times i lie and withhold to keep myself from releasing any part of myself out into the world. 

i understand this must sound strange considering i’m writing this horrendously long and in depth post about my entire mental state and well being on the internet where anyone can read it but the distance between myself and the people who follow me here is just far enough to where i can feel supported or at least listened to without feeling invaded and exposed. i dont know if that makes sense. 

i really dont know much of anything anymore. 

even with all of this out i still dont feel like the mess inside of me is any less messy. my heart is tangled. 

please do not reblog 

[timcbombs]

✕ — wasn’t that tabitha smith wandering the streets of new york, 1973? civilians know them as boom-boom and see them as a hero. as far as i know, the twenty-four year old stands with x-force, x-factor, & new mutants, and are rumoured to be pretty self-assured & recalcitrant. ( liz gillies / transfemale / she/her ) 

{ trigger warnings : emotional, physical, and sexual assault, alcohol, homophobia, transphobia  }

hey guys, sophia’s at it again lmao!!  here’s more about my second baby aka my trash!baby under the cut  

PT. 1: INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION // 

tabby doesnt really have any appearances outside of the mceu except for a handful of cartoon appearances 

so this rendition of her is gonna be entirely comic based

PT. 2: FROM TIME-BOMB TO BOOMER TO MELTDOWN TO BOOM-BOOM // 

okay so. tabby was an only child, raised in a trailer park in roanoke. her mom was never really in the picture and her dad was an abusive alcoholic nut job. tabby never got an actual education. she was emotionally neglected & abused, as well as physically abused for her entire childhood. 

the abuse only got worse when tabby’s mutation (and gender & sexuality, see below) came into question. her father beat tabby so hard that she ran away at around 13-14. 

she started a long ass journey trying to figure out how the fuck to live in a world where she couldn’t really read & understand, but somehow make it to xaviers school for the gifted (someone in the trailer park had mentioned it to her and she decided it’d become her salvation) 

a train she was taking en route to washington dc was attacked by the beyonder. the beyonder ended up considering tabby its only friend and felt bad for this young, frightened, abused girl and brought her to xavier’s. however because the beyonder is a powerful cosmic entity the x-men attacked it on spot and tabby, frightened and bewildered, left with the beyonder back to its home planet. she stayed there with him for a little while before realizing it was an evil entity hellbent on the destruction of worlds, and demanded she be returned to the xmen. she led the beyonder into an ambush and the beyonder, heartbroken about the loss of its only friend, willingly surrendered 

that was tabby’s introduction to the x-men. because of how it all went down, she left the x-men for a little while and moved to LA. she joined a gang called the fallen angels where she learnt how to steal (amongst other things). she began to be sexually harassed and was sexually taken advantage of during her time with this gang, particularly by the gang’s male mutant leader, who’d enlisted her, and so she told the x-factor about the gangs presence 

tabitha then witnessed the children of the x-factor being kidnapped by soldiers of The Right and stowed away on the ship to save them — where she befriended Rictor

the ship crashed when apocalypse was defeated and she lived on apocalypse’s ship for a while 

when the x-men found her, tabby was forced to attend phillips academy in new hamsphire, where she was bullied by the other kids for being a mutant. she allied with the other mutants at the school and formed a group called the x-terminators, where she got hella involved with a bunch of demon & limbo & illyana bullshit when some of the mutants were kidanpped and being used as a portal into limbo 

even though tabby had helped save the world, her school expelled her for being involved in the entire ordeal, and she then joined the new mutants, accidentally summoned a giant sea monster (like an idiot) and went to live wth some dwarves on asgard 

she then joined x-force and changed her alias to boomer 

she joined an underground paramilitary group and was bombed by a vibranium bomb, but survived. my trash queen 

she was then invited by Cable, as meltdown, to join his group Underground to investigate the new weapon x program 

she then joined next wave, as boom-boom, where she learned she’s immune to mind control 

she was then kidnapped by anti-mutant extremists and personally held hostage by the leper queen. the leper queen decided to take her wrath out towards the x-men on tabby and shot her in the head (consequently she was then saved by otherwise certain death by one laura kinney)

she then teams up w/ domino to infiltrate sword because fuck the government, i guess

she went to live on utopia and stayed after it was destroyed, before finally settling at the xavier school and becoming a full-fledged x-man.  

PT. 3: TABBY’S PERSONALITY & RELATED HEADCANONS //

she’s literally a disaster gay. that’s about it. she’s a chaotic babe who loves to throw herself into stupid situations. she loves to party, get smashed, has a ton of super famous hollywood friends who invite her out to parties all the time. she gets shitfaced with them and gets in a lot of trouble with them

i also write tabby as transfemale. and i imagine that was also a big contributing factor to the strain between herself and her parents, as well as a motivating factor to joining the gang she did. she needed money for the transition and for hormones. 

shes super dumb bookwise but very streetsmart. it’d be dumb to underestimate her because she perceives things in such a unique way and it always ends up int he benefit of the team

that said she can be a lazy shit sometimes, motivation is not her forte

shes got a ton of trauma she’s never willing to address ever (and more she never talks about from her party days)

shes the kind of girl though who’ll blast music at 4am — despite everyone else being asleep. she’s got absolutely no manners, and has a long history of playing pranks on the x-men (via literally bombing them with her powers) if they don’t listen to her/undermine her/ neglect her. basically. don’t get on her bad side.

she just wants to be that fun friend everyone can go to for a good time, she doesn’t like to drag people down with her own issues. anyways shes a chaotic bisexual with the mouth of a trucker who deserves the world & u can’t change my mind

— so thats about it for my trash baby!! shes been involved with a hella lot of teams and is always open for all the connections! pls luv her! <3