#tadfools

[ladyofrosefire]

fuck it, bg3 companions shower routine

Shadowheart: Shar hates self-care, but a Shadowheart does take pride in her hair, and a Shadowheart who has learned to be kind to herself can indulge. Long, complicated hair routine, very specific water temperature, and a tendency toward long-ass depression showers. LOVES a bubble bath and will make a whole event of it with flower petals and candles just for her. Will bring a book with a little book tray and a glass of wine.

Astarion: Similarly complicated hair routine. Gotta hydrate the curls, and being dead does not do nice things to your hair. Less prone to standing there staring at nothing while the horrors set in, but prone to scrubbing too hard. Similarly fond of a bubble bath, although without the book or flowers, although he will fuck with an essential oil heater and likes to make his own blends.

Lae'zel: Queen of the 4 minute shower. She has been accused of not even waiting for the water to heat up, but she likes it blistering. Does not actually use 3-in-1, thank you. Having fairly short hair helps. She finds the other companions baffling. Would get bored in a bubble bath unless she had company (rubber duck counts).

Wyll: Sings. If someone called him on it, he would be embarrassed, the first time, for about a minute. Neither wildly efficient nor inclined to standing there for ages and ages and prefers to shower in the morning. Washing his hair is a chance to relax and take care of himself, although before he has his family back, it can be a bit melancholy. He has fallen asleep in the bath before. I feel like he'd love a bath bomb and he'd love the full romantic evening with candles and flowers and music.

Karlach: Please, please someone boil her. Once she gets her engine fixed all the way, she tries a cold shower just to remember what it feels like and keeps up a running commentary about how much it sucks while also not turning up the temperature. Absolutely loves sharing a shower with someone and will also sing. Should not attempt her little jig on wet tiles. May try anyway. Someone should introduce her to proper hair/skin care because if anyone is using 3-in-1, I'm sorry, it's Karlach. Genuinely cannot sit still for a bubble bath unless she has company to cuddle.

Gale: Voted Faerun's Most Likely to Relitigate Arguments in the Shower, Even if He Won Originally. Loves to pamper himself, canonically, loves a spa day, also canonically. You simply are not getting the bathroom back for a good hour, although not all that time involves running water. Plays around with different products and researches the living hell out of everything. Loves a long soak. The only person with a feline in their house to ever bathe in peace. Constantly torn between wanting a book with him when he has a bath and not wanting to get the pages steamy and damp, much less actually wet.

Minthara: Her ideal hair wash involves someone else doing it for her while also having the utmost certainty that the person will not attempt to murder her. If her partner washes her hair for her, she turns into a puddle. She has an incredibly specific lineup of products. If she shares, understand that she has bestowed upon you a great gift. More about bath salts than bubbles and could be persuaded to a sufficiently elegant bath bomb (it would not be a difficult check).

Halsin: Low-flow showerhead user. Hell, he might be the kind of person to turn the water off entirely when not soaking/rinsing out his hair... However, he is not immune to the "shower together to save water" line even though he KNOWS it doesn't work that way. He needs low-scent soaps/etc considering his heightened sense of smell. And listen, this man does not fit in a bathtub unless he goes somewhere special or finds a particularly large one. He made everyone floaty ducks, properly sealed against water damage, and he has one for himself that holds his soap.

Jaheira: Understands that having a chair in the shower is just being kind to yourself and proceeds accordingly. Will revisit arguments she had that day, but despite that has a quick and fairly simple routine. She needs the water pressure to pound the everloving hell out of her back. Loofa on a stick user. Like Wyll, she has fallen asleep in a bathtub, in part thanks to having and using a bath cushion. Truly, the expert on bath-based comfort.

Minsc: Also sings in the shower. LOUDLY. Boo is allowed to sit a shelf out of the way. The best way to get him to use lotion is to give him something that smells yummy. He has similar problems to Halsin regarding fitting in bathtubs. He tries anyway. He has been banned from at least one hotspring for doing a cannonball.

[mossy-rossy]

I love shippy stuff but I also wish there were more stuff of the Tadfools just being buds post canon?

How do they help Astarion with his renewed allergy to the sun?

What if they ALL went to Avernus with karlach?

Can they please sass wylls dad during dinner? Can they walk around Baldurs gate like his personal detail glaring at all the naysayers?

Imagine them all squeezing in a tiny room at Shadowheart's parents as they help them rebuild.

Visiting waterdeep and they all have a incredibly specific and themed room at Gales tower like it's a 2010 avengers tower fic.

And fuck it, I don't know how they make it work but they should all pull up on vlaakith in mf dragons, cheering laezel as she brings her False God down.

Just... I want adventures, I want laughter and healing and messy petty lil fights. I want to see the Tadfools as friends.

[featherwurm]

SO! It's no secret I love David Bowie - sometimes I just put on my a playlist of his entire discography and listen to it over the course of a couple days. Because I'm still deep in my BG3 brainrot - here's all the companions in the Modern AU (no appreciable differences to their cannon setting just modern trappings) rocking out and what I think their favorite Bowie Albums would be, with a few words that I think sum up some of the overall themes of those albums that match those characters (I also think they would each like the musical genre of the selected albums).

Astarion – Man Who Sold the World/Diamond Dogs (Glam Rock/Hard Rock) Decay, Defeat, Ennui

Wyll – Black Tie White Noise/"Heroes" (Art Rock/Jazz Rock/R&B/Soul) Love, Warmth, Triumph

Gale – The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars/Reality (Glam Rock/Proto-Punk/Pop) Stardom, Grief, Burnout

Shadowheart – Blackstar/Heathen (Jazz Rock/Experimental Rock) Crisis, Death, Acceptance (and faith/crisis thereof, of course)

Karlach – Let's Dance/Aladdin Sane (Hard Rock/Post-Disco/Dance Rock) Conflict, Service, Duty

Tav – Low/The Next Day (Electronica/Ambient/Art Rock) Resignation, Aggression, Solitude (These are also my TOP favorites since she's my character, but it's very hard to pick and I like his whole discography.)

Lae’zel – Earthling/Never Let Me Down (Industrial Rock/Jungle/Hard Rock) Alienation, Wonder, Curiosity

Minthara – Outside/The Buddha of Suburbia (Experimental/Industrial Rock/Avant-garde Jazz) Violence, Confusion, Horror

Halsin – Hours/Young Americans (R&B/Funk) Patience, Memory, Loneliness

Jaheria – Tonight/Hunky Dory (Dance/Art Rock/Pop Rock) Loyalty, Trust, Remembrance

Minsc – Lodger/David Bowie (New Wave/Music Hall/Baroque Pop) Head Trauma, Unease, Immaturity (I also just think the idea of him bopping around to ‘Love You 'Till Tuesday’ is very funny)

Of course I could do an '...in this essay I will...' bit but I'm at least trying to be brief...

[thranduil-aran-edhil]

There are 3 ways to revive Astarion/reverse his vampirism in D&D 5e. Two are baked into the mechanical rules. And one would be interesting to roleplay.

OBS: im not counting the method used in BG2EE where you can use Bodhi's Heart to revert Jaheira's/Viconia's/Aerie's/Anomen's vampirism.

The first one is True Resurrection. Now, of course, by the time the Tadfools can get a hold of this (by level 17), the whole thing with "the creature can only have been dead for 200 years" would make it a bit inconvenient. HOWEVER, Astarion isn't dead, he's UNdead. So they would have to kill him. A funny mental image, in my opinion. This would be the most certain way to revive him. (if you're going with Rules As Written, if you're spicy and like the Matt Mercer method, it could be less certain)

The second one is the Wish spell. Which is a very interesting spell, it would need a specific and clear wording to revive him. There's a chance it won't work. And there's a chance that the caster (most likely Gale) won't ever be able to cast the spell ever again.

The final one... comes from Elven High Magic. The only magic in DnD that can still go beyond level 9 even after Mystra's prohibition after Netheril's Fall. All of the spells are ritual and communal. It's quite thematically fitting, as Astarion is an Elf, but he never says anything about Elven culture in the game. It's Ye Olde Lore, like 2e (AD&D). Here's the spell in its entirety:

Gift of Life (Wizard Spell) This powerful high magic spell has an effect unlike any other. It restores undead creatures to life. Undead creatures are allowed a saving throw vs. death magic, but they can only make such a roll at a level equal to half their Hit Dice. An 18th-level lich, for example, would make a sav­ing throw vs. death magic as if it were actually a 9th-level wizard. If the undead creature fails its saving throw, it is immediately restored to life as it was just before its death, if it died by unnatural causes. It is restored to life as it was 10 years before its death if it died of old age or similar causes. The restored creature is stunned and incapable of any action for 1d4 turns as it slowly realizes what happened. The restored creature returns to life at an appropriate experience and Hit Die level, and with its original alignment and abilities. It will, however, be wearing the same clothes, and carry­ing whatever equipment (if any) that it did as an undead creature. This spell does not necessarily change the alignment of a creature that was originally evil, but the elves recount legends of wicked liches or vampires who were restored through this spell, repented their old lives, and changed alignment, dedicating themselves to the defense of elves. The material component of this spell is a gold medallion in the form of the sun (worth at least 500 gp). Notes: Restricted to elves able to cast High Magic, such as those of Evermeet.

And here's an interesting alternative, based on the D&D Elven High Magic from angelfire.com:

Suyoll/The Revival: This ritual restores an elf's life, health, and harmony with the Weave. This is seen as an acceptance back into the community of elves, despite any changes that occur during the elf’s life (or death). This ritual restores an elf’s natural state, neutralizing all ill or unnatural effects upon him. It cancels curses of any nature other than those divinely placed (i.e., personally inflicted by a god) and spell effects such as petrification and polymorph. Suyoll allows the regrowth of full limbs, muscles, and organs (such as eyes, tongue, etc.). It also negates any magical or non-voluntary alignment changes. The most advanced form of this ritual involves the restoration of undead elves to a living state, as they were 100 years before their deaths or transformations. GM’s Note: This ritual is rarely used; for the elves are a stubborn lot and forgiveness is not a virtue they practice often. Thus, any outcast elf or seriously injured elf is often perceived as pitiful or as a fool who learned his lesson for straying away from the path of elvenkind. However, great sacrifices made for sake of a clan or kingdoms are looked upon proudly, and the Suyoll is invoked to honour heroes who act in such interests. This ritual can even restore a Drow to status among the Tel`Quessir, though the ritual erases all powers (but not appearance) of the Drow (judge as a moon elf).

Do with these informations what you will, I just thought it would be nice to share :D

[secretlyaraven]

It's so fun, it's so fun, this circus is great

You can see it in our rotting faces, melting eyes, and festering skin

[vanishintoyou]

shadowheart thinking no one knows about her shar worship 🤝 astarion thinking no one noticed he's a vampire

[triaelf9]

New Shop Things! Pobody's Nerfect 1: Tadfools

A new series I've been messing around with: Pobody's Nerfect with our fav disasters from a number of things I've been enjoying recently! Here's the first group! ^_^

A few ways to enjoy it, check out more here! https://artofelainetipping.threadless.com

(I'll probably add these as postcard prints in my ko-fi shop, and I was thinking of doing a "gather your party" bookmarks series where you can pick 4 to take with you on your reading adventures XD)

[sol-of-waterdeep]

okay so i've been mulling over modern AU tadfools for a while and this is what i got so far

Lae'zel is a skater lesbian (and super autistic lmao), nobody really knows what her whole deal is but they are pretty sure she was raised by some kind of doomsday cult

she's flatmates with Karlach, who is really into MMA and partying it up now that she finally moved out of her old flat where everyone else were just the most fucked up assholes in existence, everyone exclusively calls it "hell" when talking about it

Astarion is the most flamboyant catty twink in existence and currently crashing on their couch because he's been kind of broke since he left his much older toxic boyfriend Cazador (who won't stop bothering him on Grindr)

Shadowheart is the nu goth girl who lives across the hall from them and is really into crystals and witchcraft/paganism, Lae has a crush on her but doesn't know how to deal with it so she's just really mean all the time

Wyll met Karlach when she almost put his lights out in a drunk brawl at a frat party but now they are besties and he constantly hangs around their flat, his father is a politician and he is dating Mizora, who is his dad's lawyer and everybody is telling him to break up with her because she's toxic af but for some reason he just can't bring himself to do it

Gale lives in the same building and never goes outside ever since his ex broke up with him but he met the rest because his cat slipped outside and he had to catch her again and Karlach had picked her up and brought her home because she thought it was so cute

Halsin is an old hippie guy who is the pot dealer of the whole party and constantly tells everyone how great Woodstock was whether they asked or not (they did not)

Jaheira is the teacher of Karlach's MMA group and comes over occasionally because hanging with them "reminds her of her wild twenties" and "makes her feel young again", sometimes she brings her buddy Minsc who is the life of the party

dunno about Minthara she always died in my playthroughs up until now so can't really say much about her

Raphael is their landlord and just insanely weird about everything, everyone is dreading when he shows up except Astarion who thinks "he's got a certain je ne sais quoi to him" (cue everyone throwing pillows at him and booing him for his terrible taste in men)

Gortash is Karlach's ex who got her into "hell" in the first place, he's a lawyer and nobody likes him, there's a dart board with his face taped on it in the bathroom and nobody knows who put it there (it was Lae'zel)

Ketheric is the owner of the law firm he works at and Orin is his other junior partner, she and Gortash are constantly competing about who will inherit the firm despite Ketheric never saying anything about planning to retire, he hates both of them and wishes his daughter Isobel would take over but she quit law school to go to a liberal arts college with her girlfriend whom Ketheric refuses to acknowledge

[lolliputian]

Chapters: 12/12 Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Astarion & Gale & Karlach & Lae'zel & Shadowheart & Tav & Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Tav/Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Jaheira (Baldur's Gate) & Minsc (Dungeons and Dragons), Zevlor (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character(s), Damays/Nymessa (Baldur's Gate), Cal & Lia & Rolan (Baldur's Gate) Characters: Tav (Baldur's Gate), Original Tiefling Character(s) (Dungeons & Dragons), Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Karlach (Baldur's Gate), Lae'zel (Baldur's Gate), Gale (Baldur's Gate), Shadowheart (Baldur's Gate), Astarion (Baldur's Gate), Literally Almost Every Damn Character In This Game Is In This Fic, I Will Not Tag All of Them Because I Am Not A Masochist, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Original Non-Binary Character, Zevlor (Baldur's Gate), Halsin (Baldur's Gate), Aradin (Baldur's Gate), Bernard (Baldur's Gate), Barcus Wroot, Zanner Toobin, Jaheira (Baldur's Gate), Minsc (Dungeons & Dragons), Boo (Baldur's Gate), Damays (Baldur's Gate), Nymessa (Baldur's Gate), Rolan (Baldur's Gate), Elminster Aumar, Arabella (Baldur's Gate), Volothamp Geddarm Additional Tags: Song Lyrics, Singing, Dancing and Singing, Fun, Inspired by Glee, This Is STUPID, Sorry Not Sorry, Named Tav (Baldur's Gate), Magic Summary:

A strange sort of magic has befallen the Gate, leaving its citizens erupting into song and dance. Can Lelith and the Tadfools figure out what's happening before they're roped into too many musical numbers? And, more importantly, what will they SING?

---

Chapters 10-12 are up, and, with it, the fic is DONE! This chapter has some of my absolute favorite numbers in the entire fic. I hope you enjoy this wild ride!

[fireheartedpup]

I wasn't going to, but I reposted my imagine to ao3. I'm proud of it, and I think everyone deserves a warning because I'm cooking with onions.

[staring-into-a-bowl-of-soup]

Which BG3 Character would be into Soulslikes

I asked a group chat, with my vote being Karlach (honorable mention to Jaheira). My reasons?

Lae'zel — gets too angry at the first boss because the character can't move like she does, rage quits, smashed controller optional

Gale — gets really into the lore and then gets annoyed about the lack of in-game library to spend all his time in.

Wyll — Too Spoopy for him. Prefers his fantasy more fantasy

Karlach — hell yeah brother. She's one of those bros that got into it when bloodborne got super popular, but she loves having the ability to face the horrors in a controlled setting—getting to struggle and triumph—so long as she has a heat proof controller.

Astarion — refuses to play video games

Shadowheart — backseat gamer. Will watch Karlach play but refuses to play her self; claims she isn't interested but in reality just can never remember which button is what on a controller and has accepted that as her life now.

[gcldendaemon]

spoilers for the dream visitor in baldurs gate 3 below!!!

Every time I replay the game, I still find it so genius that when you first meet the emperor at the end of act 2, an instrumental version of the Song of Balduran plays. And when you get to the Elfsong tavern camp version, you get to hear it and read it with lyrics. The first time you play the game, its a detail that probably flies completely over your head but once youve heard it again and again at the Elfsong, you realise you’ve been getting hints of the emperor’s true identity for a long time. Just one of those things that make you love how much time and dedication was put into this game.

[mossy-rossy]

Captor: "Say it. Say that everything is perfectly fine post canon and Astarion is NOT struggling with peace after 200 years of no bodily autonomy and relentless trauma. Say that he's well adjusted and his healing is NOT messy, so messy that he still sometimes hurts the ppl he loves, the friends he's made. Say there is NO resentment that his partner talked him out of ascension when he's at his lowest, when he's most afraid. Say that his healing DOESNT have an ugly side To it. SAY IT!

Me spitting blood: Fuck you.

[pansy-placebo]

Fun Fact: indolence breeds madness!!

Did you know indolence breeds madness?

Hey guess what? Indolence breeds madness

I just got some news! Indolence breeds madness???

I had no idea indolence breeds madness.

I can't believe my ears-

[thranduil-aran-edhil]

OK, so. Finished my first run. Gotta admit I'm not 100% satisfied with some endings. BUT NO BIGGIE, THAT'S WHAT HEADCANONS ARE FOR, DON'T WORRY I GOT A PERMIT (i'm a Dungeon Master) SO LET'S GO, HC TIME D&D STYLE BC WE STILL GOT 8 LEVELS TO GO: (spoilers for BG3 and Descent Into Avernus going forward)

They'd all stay together and continue to go on adventures, the 9 of them, Tav, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Gale, Astarion, Wyll, Karlach, Halsin and Minthara. Found Families stay together. (I do enjoy the polyship aspect too, so just throwing it out there)

There's an exchange you can have ingame with an NPC in the Guild and Tav will say the party's name is Wormskulls and I love it. I do also love Tadfools. Maybe they are Wormskulls to the general public and Tadfools to their close friends and allies lol. After the tadpoles are gone I think it would be very useful for them to commission earrings enchanted with Rary's Telepathic Bond. Less invasive than a mindflayer tadpole and just as useful. Also symbolic for Gale. I think the earring would have a pendant of a skull with a serpent coming out of its eye and being bitten by the teeth.

OK SO, my girl Karlach. I haven't romanced her yet, gonna do a run for that. But she's not dying on my watch. She's going back to Avernus, BUT YOU CAN BE SO SURE THAT THE MOMENT THE WHOLE PARTY IS READY WE'RE KICKING DOWN ZARIEL'S DOOR AND KICKING HER ASS. Or giving her her sword back and possibly turning her back into an Angel, something that whatever party of adventurers that managed to save BG and Elturel in Descent Into Avernus CLEARLY didn't do, it would probably not only nullify Mizora's contract with Wyll bc Zariel is now a completely different entity, if you decided to redo Wyll's contract with her, but also would give us a better chance of Zariel taking the infernal engine out of Karlach herself. Maybe turning Wyll into a Devotion Paladin? (more details about Zariel here)

I'd ask Jaheira and Minsc to take care of Scratch and Albie (owlbear cub) because the Hells is no place for pets. Even very brave ones. Maybe Halsin's "ending" fits here, taking care of the pets and the kids while everyone goes to Avernus, they leave him with a Sending Stone. And when they are back he's there waiting for them. 🥺

If we saved Duke Ravengard and broke Wyll's contract. (or didn't but are hcing that we broke his contract by defeating/unmaking Zariel) what does that mean to Wyll? I think it be super cool to go more in depth about it. How does he reconsile with his father? Does he accept to be reinstated as heir and becomes the Duke right away or does he think it's best for his father to continue his role a bit longer? Does he even want to be Duke or does he think he can serve the people of the Sword Coast better as an adventurer? If he turns into a Duke, what sort of benefit does that give an adventuring party?

Finding something to make Astarion able to walk in the sun again I've seen people talk about the Ring of the Sun-Walker as if it's from the 5e books, it's not, it's homebrew. HOWEVER, any freaking DM with a heart would create something similar for their player to continue playing without being afraid of dying instantly bc of the sun. The Cloak of Dragomir is canon to the Baldur's Gate videogame universe, so it be a good tie in, but it would be a temporary solution at best since it penalizes the player quite harshly, Strength: -6, Dexterity: -4, Intelligence: -2, Wisdom: -2, Charisma: -4 and Vampire Regeneration divided by 3, to 1 HP per 3 rounds. That being said, I wouldn't make it TOO easy to obtain as there are other ways for Astarion to be safe, like the Darkness spell. It would be interesting to see him (and Tav) struggle a little bit more, really feel the sacrifice Astarion made by rejecting the Ascendance even after they find something to combat the Sunlight Hypersensitivity.

Astarion's biological family would be something very interesting to explore in the future. They would be Elves themselves and are most likely still alive, we even have a surname thanks to people analyzing the shit out of that tombstone: Ancunín. As a DM I wouldn't wait for a player to decide to search for these people, I'd throw them at the players! Strolling through the Upper City in a quick shopping trip? You hear a loud gasp, things clattering and bumping into the ground, hurried desperate steps and then someone sobbing "Astarion?? Astarion is that you?!" What do you do?

Visiting Waterdeep and Morena Dekarios. This woman deserves to see her son again, and Gale deserves to finally go back home and see his mom without the burden of an ancient artifact lodged in his chest and a goddess wanting him to kill himself. Would he stay? I'm not sure, he went through an entire Odissey and maybe now home, although pleasant, is not as comforting anymore. Waterdeep is the element of Gale of Waterdeep and he's not him anymore. I think this would be a great premise for a roleplay focused arc. Gale is invited to the Blackstaff Ball for the first time since Mystra shunned him, the Wormskulls are famous now, The New Heros of Baldur's Gate (Gala Episode anyone? All of them SLAYIN with their fits? Poor Halsin totally out of his element). He's once again welcomed into the society of the Lord Mage of Waterdeep and his peers seem to have all but forgotten he was ever a pariah. Is that what he wants?

And Waterdeep has many opportunities for more adventure.

A paranoid Beholder underground anyone?

Kill the Lich Queen (CLASSIC D&D). Vlaakith IS FINISHED. TIME TO SPELLJAM AND BE SPACE PIRATES YALL. Lae'zel deserves to see this through to the END.

Shadowheart goes through another journey to find out if she wants to truly embrace Selûne or maybe become another thing entirely. Selûne should reach out or Isobel and Dame Aylin would help her out. Or maybe Shadowheart is tired of being a Cleric and following a god. But change and inconsistency is something that is under Selûne's portfolio, she's often followed by those who are lost, so I think she'd find more than fitting for Shadowheart to be a cautious and weary follower of her.

Your Tav's personal stuff. The Dark Urge sounds amazing and I can't wait to do a run with them, but I think most of us got very attached to our Original Characters Do No Steal. So I'm excited to see what people come up with for their Tavs. Otessa, my Tav, doesn't know her dad was a pirate, he never told her, so I expect that his past will come bite him in the ass and she'll have to help him out of that pickle.

When the party has reached level 17, Gale has access to the Wish spell. And I really do think they'd use it to get rid of Astarion's undeath. As a DM I wouldn't let Gale simply get the spell outright, he'd have to research it. Not only that, I don't think Astarion would be totally free of undeath, some remnant of it would linger, he'd probably turn into an Elf that needs blood to survive and is forever locked out of the Call of Arvandor or something. But he'd be mortal and would be able to walk in the sun without that ring, cross bodies of water, wouldn't instadie from pointy wood objects in the chest etc. (i'm writing a little one-shot about this, should post it soon)

[the-haiku-bot]

The most important

NPC in Baldur’s Gate

btw

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

The most important NPC in Baldur’s Gate btw