#takes me 2 days now to finish one episode

[aaronontherun]

Okay, there are two things about the ending of GO S2 that I cannot get out of my head after finishing the rewatch:

1. Gabriel's descent to earth

2. Aziraphale's reaction to the offer of Metatrash

(The rest under the cut)

The thing about Gabriel's descent to earth is that when he comes down to earth, he has not been fired yet. He decides to come down.

What's interesting about this is that in the last few minutes of the last episode Gabriel says his original plan was to leave heaven to go to hell, to join Beelzebub.

The quote goes:

Beelzebub: "Silly, silly angel. Why?"

Gabriel: "I was coming to you, but I... I forgot."

So... he had not been fired yet (because he left heaven before Michael and the lot could get a hold of him again). And he had originally planned to go to Beelzebub ("oh, you're sending me to hell, aren't you?" -> he was kind of counting on that). But after hearing he will lose his memory and go down to earth, he decides to ditch that plan and make himself forget all of it to go to earth (where he did not really intend to go in the first place) to give a box to Aziraphale that says "I am in the fly", that he knows will make him remember.

Why?

My working theory is that since he was the highest ranking angel, he knew about the plans of heaven. He knew about the second attempt at Armageddon of course and he did not want that to happen, because of his love for Beelzebub and the war that would break out. But I reckon he also already knew about the Second Coming.

And by wiping his own memories, he deleted that knowledge for all of heavens associates. But by storing it in the fly and transporting that to earth instead of hell, he brought it to the safest place he knew.

"The Second Coming will be a fearful, mournful time for the wicked, but it will be a day of peace for the righteous."

I don't know if I am reading something into it here, but to me it also sounds like a clue. The only other pair that kind of unites the powers of heaven and hell like Gabriel and Beelzebub is Aziraphale and Crowley. And we know that connection to be quite a strong one (as seen by the "teeny tiny miracle" that ended up sounding every god damn alarm bell in heaven). Crowley is a fallen angel and does not particularly care for heaven or hell and Aziraphale is still an angel and also does not conform with everything that heaven does. And Gabriel knows that.

BUT as far as we know, neither Aziraphale nor Crowley have had contact with the fly or the memories. For now we only know Gabriel kept his memories out of heaven by going to Aziraphale and that he probably knew more than he let on.

The question is, does the fly still exist or did it get destroyed when it went into Gabriels eye?

Also, given the CLUE that takes up almost half an episode - the part of the song that we don't really get to hear is this:

"Everyday seems a little longer,

Every way, love's a little stronger"

Everything we have seen points to an ending where you don't have to choose a side. Where there is no need to categorize into black and white, but to just accept shades of grey. Which is obstructed by heaven (the big corporate agenda, that needs people to think in black and white) and hell (which holds the outcasts that could not keep up with the agenda, but still cling onto it in their own competitive way).

Okay and this is the perfect transition to Aziraphales reaction to the Metatrons offer.

Because after years (or millennia in Aziraphale's case) of being oppressed and silenced and having to be careful around everything he says, I think Metatrons offer to put him in charge of heaven is in Aziraphale's eyes the only perspective of ever getting out of his misery while still doing good.

He *could* have given up heaven and fallen like Crowley, joining him that way, but instead he takes the route of trying to take Crowley with him to the very top of heaven.

Which, in my eyes, is a very very clear sign of the abusive relationship he has with heaven.

I don't think he realises that he is still just a pawn in a big chess game, also and especially as archangel of heaven.

As both Beelzebub and Gabriel said: "As if we make the rules..."

That is not how it works.

(I also find it very interesting, that the voice of god (basically the manager of heaven) asks if anyone ever "asks for death" (I mean, come on) whereas god, talking to Job, is genuinely fascinated by him and his goodness.)

I don't know if I can put this thought process into proper words, but I feel like the problem is that Aziraphale is still clinging to the whole concept of "doing good" and preserving his own status in the organisation. I don't think he is going up there to "change it from the inside" with a wicked plan in mind. When the Metatron made the offer, he told him that he would be "such a good leader, kind and honest", "be able to make a difference, be put in charge of everything". Which is exactly how they get you. He did not tell him he would be in charge of the second coming right off the bat. He lured him with being able to make everything better for everyone (which is all Aziraphale really wants) while keeping and continuing to receive approval from above (which Aziraphale is so afraid of losing).

Which is also what he tells Crowley about. The trust he is being given, the opportunity to make a change, the opportunity for Crowley to regain validation from heaven.

And only when he has accepted the offer, the Metatron specifies the details of the deal and that "doing good for everybody" means initialising the Second Coming, that has already been well planned (and that is everything Aziraphale never wanted to be a part of, but he won't disappoint them by saying no now).

"We could have been us" feels so powerful in that context, because I feel like what it really meant was "we could have been us without the approval of anyone". Without the need to justify their actions, think about right or wrong in the sense that heaven or hell would have categorized them. The freedom to work as a team, as the shades of grey they naturally are, containing both "good" and "evil" in a way that they balance each other, not desperately trying to put one of them out. (Also worth noting here, that throughout the seasons Aziraphale *has* done "evil", but only if he could somehow twist it to be "good" (see the episode with Wee Morag, right?), which showcases the pointlessness of categorizing again).

"I forgive you" from Aziraphale is such a heartbreaking line here, too. Because it is not him speaking, really. It is him already speaking in place of the organisation he is going to work for. "I forgive you for not regaining approval. I still love you."

"Don't bother", Crowley says and his whole posture drops. "For me it was never about that."

[destinygoldenstar]

Ninjago Dragons Rising Season 2 - Is It Good Or Nah?

So, I'm late to the party, aren't I?

Well I've had so much work that I think I'm having an existential crisis. So I had to wait till I had a free day to watch this season because I wanted to watch it with my GF.

We got to Episode 6, and then what did my boss do?

Slap me in the face with long work hours several days of the week.

I feel like I'm in a spiral of work after work after work with no purpose to life besides failure cause I can't trust myself to be capable at anything-

ANYWAY. We finished it now.

You know what the insane part about the season is? That it got the show trending on Tumblr.

That's an INSANE level of hype right there.

So I seriously had to ask myself "What the actual f**k happened in the show that caused THIS much hype?!"

So... here are my thoughts on the season.

SPOILER WARNING

Okay, so this may be a factor of my judgement, but due to my schedule, I was forced to watch only 6 Episodes one day, and then the last 4 Episodes today. Keep that in mind.

When it came to the first half of the season, was it good?

Yes. Obviously.

Was it living up to the insane level of hype?

Uh... not really for me??

Now, don't take that as a negative. This season is still REALLY good.

After the first season took awhile to get started as it needed to set up its characters and this new world, it makes sense for this season to throw the punches immediately.

The season gets started with its main plot right away with Ras immediately putting his plan into action, and by Episode 2, it's very clear the threat level he opposes and it's believable that we should be intimidated by what he wants.

Even though in Episode 2's fight, while AMAZINGLY choreographed, I was just screaming at the screen "HIT THE PERSON HOLDING THE GONG."

Like seriously, more than one of the characters in this fight can use projectiles with their powers AND they have a blaster in the Bounty, and the show never says that Ras has some sort of armor defense preventing him from getting blasted. He's literally standing out in the open. And the gong is clearly what's giving Cinder power. So HIT THE PERSON WITH THE GONG.

GOSH.

Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that this season's fight choreo is genuinely AMAZING. I am obsessed with the way the camera moves with the characters in these fights you have no idea. I was genuinely blown away by the last episode's fight in particular. But more on the ending later.

What also shocked me was how BRUTAL some of the stuff that happens here is, which caught me off guard.

I mean, Episode 2 has Euphrasia getting ambushed and crashed off the Cloud Kingdom with clear injuries, and Wyldfyre getting her leg SHATTERED. Like, WHAT?! HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?!! (Even though the latter's healing was unrealistic. Like, it would realistically take months for an injury like that to heal. Not a critique, just saying.)

Ras body slams Jordanna at one point. He puts Arin in a CHOKEHOLD. And also beats him up so brutally... like OMG this guy does not mess around.

The Fear Cave Trial also REALLY got me tripping. Not only was it such a visually appealing moment, but it also, as the same suggests, showed several character psyches that were insane.

Except Kai for some reason. That's gonna drive me NUTS until I get an answer. WHAT DID HE SEE-?!

Then we get to the dragon mentors, and...

Yeah the season kinda loses me in the middle.

Don't get me wrong, I love the character bits here as much as anyone. But with how dyer they made the threat of Ras before, Ras and his forces take a backseat in the middle portion of the season and we're mostly just sitting at these training grounds talking. And for four episodes of it? It's a little grating, even if it is important.

The middle is mostly where most of my issues with the season stand. And here's where I get all my negatives out of the way:

Like I said, because this season is so long, there's an awkward pause in the conflict on the dragons plotline to learn this Rising Dragon Technique. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't FOUR EPISODES of it.

With the exception of the attack at the Land of Lost Things ONCE, Ras's army doesn't go after the ninja at all. I can kinda get the dragons group since they didn't have Bonzle, but he has to know that they ARE a threat, right? They're obviously trying to figure out how to stop you.

And even with the group that has Bonzle, what they NEED, the forces that go after that group is the Administration and the one off magician man villain, the former really didn't need to be in this season even if it was for a compelling Jay cameo, and the latter has overstayed his welcome at this point and I just rolled my eyes when he showed up on screen.

I'm all for Cole being a badass as much as the next guy, but WHY this magician man, who at this point, is so disconnected with the main antagonistic forces that he serves no purpose?

Why not, I don't know, use this screen time instead to explain what in the world happened with Cole when he left?

Seriously, the first season had this huge cliffhanger with Cole's character and him going after Wu's ghost. I wonder what's gonna happen to him and what he's gonna find out-

Oh. He's just back.

That to me is a huge disappointment. What was the point of him leaving the Lost Family in the first place if this journey was basically nothing? He doesn't even talk about it! COME ON NOW.

Also I think Zane should get slay pass on the Administration guy that called him equipment. What do y'all think?

I don't like Egot. Or whatever his name was. He's very condescending and cryptic and talks down to his only hope of the world being saved. But I think I'm supposed to dislike him for it, and there's gonna be more of his characterization revealed later, so don't take this one as a critique. The female one is great though.

The sorceress lady was... a choice in the narrative. My one critique for the ending was the potion shenanigans. Not because they were bad, but because they just felt so out of place among everything else. Like, "Oh, this finale is too dark and intense! We need to occasionally cut to wacky shenanigans with this sorceress's magic to prevent kids from feeling too much dread!"

I don't know, for me, I would've placed this stuff with the Administration instead, and instead have the group fight Jordanna, lose, and have her get away and flow that to Arin getting to her. Especially since the Administration posed such little threat to them and they even say such.

(I also have a theory that this sorceress is Wyldfyre's birth mom. I have no evidence to back this up besides "They both have red hair and similar facial structure")

With Cloud Kingdom getting taken over and Euphrasia captured, I thought she would have more of a role to play in this since this is, you know, her HOME and she's their guardian.

But nope. She does next to nothing up until the very end and plays prisoner and waits for the ninja to save her.

For gosh sake girl, you're the master of wind. FLY.

And finally, my last critique, Cinder.

Yeah I'm sorry, I'm not buying this character so far. Not that I don't think he'll have anything to do in the second part, but for how threatening he was in Episode 2, that threat level kinda vanishes in the middle and only comes back at the end. He does next to nothing and we learn nothing about him other than "He likes power". Jordanna is probably more unlikeable, but at least she has conflict going on with Ras and her magic, and she still serves more of a role in the plan besides being a foot soldier.

And... yep. That's all my critiques for this season. Which all seem pretty minor.

You know what this season is real good at? Characters.

As though that wasn't obvious already.

I did NOT expect Bonzle to play any major role at all, I thought she was just gonna be the dry and cynical side character. But no. She has a history. She has a life. She has emotions. All of which REALLY shine through at the end when you hear her voice have more range in it. The VA killed it. I ended up feeling so bad for her.

Especially considering what happens to her.

They're also not even hiding it anymore with Geo x Cole. They're just NOT. I love them and I hope we see more of their relationship in the future.

I genuinely don't understand the critique of "Geo is so selfish referring to him as Cole's family when it's obvious Cole has other people in his life."

Well no shit, you ever heard of a character flaw?

But it's also a completely understandable flaw. You guys aren't forgetting the part where Geo was abandoned for being a mixed race, right? Of course he's gonna cling to someone as compassionate and encouraging as Cole.

The Jay cameo was nice. I expect him to play no role in this season, but it's really compelling what they showed and I was satisfied with it.

Lloyd's conflict was handled very well in my opinion.

What's it called when it's PTSD, but it's about future events rather than past events? Foresight Traumatic Stress Disorder? FTSD? Yeah let's go with that.

For a kids show that glosses over trauma, (That's not a Ninjago problem, that's a kids show problem), it was really refreshing for them to not do that for once. It's actually explored and talked about and Lloyd is given advice on how to cope with it, and he freezes up in panic attacks when these visions happen and-THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT IGNORING HOW HARD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS.

Seriously, as someone who is going through stuff like this, minus the magic element, it spoke to me a lot. It really shows that this show grew up with me, and I both love and hate that.

I do think this sort of arc is going to hit hard for adults much more than kids.

Are kids constantly terrified of the future and getting paralyzed with these fears and finding it difficult to cope with the traumas that is time and human life?

No?

Kai is also a standout in this, especially towards the end. This is by far the best Kai has been in a long time in terms of quality. I love how one of his most significant flaws gets addressed here, that being his overreliance on himself and his own abilities over the others, who he feels responsible to protect.

And the way he grasps with that and learns to let loose like he did as a child back in the old days through what he loves the most, that being his family. And the flashbacks with him and his sister. And the whole sequence of him learning Rising Dragon - AUGH ITS SO GOOD.

How poetic is it that the character most devoted to family since childhood is only cocky and angry because of his own desire to be the one with power to keep them safe, gets power by letting that go, being a kid again, and joining the same roots as his own family?

AND THEN HE GIVES UP HIS LIFE FOR THEM-

And finally, Arin.

Oh you poor sweet, sweet child.

First of all, yes, I am completely subscribed to the theory that the show is building up Arin turning on the ninja and becoming a villain. It's all there. It all fits. The amount of times they say how sweet he is as though that's gonna get lost. The dragons, the creators of the world, the gods basically, telling him he's not good enough. Ras confronting him. Sora's stunt even after she's been the most encouraging of him, like the BETRAYAL there. It's all there. And I will be posting my theory scenario on this don't you worry.

BUT, I don't think that's the route they're gonna go. Kids show and all of that. They wouldn't do that to one of their main characters. Unless you're Star Wars. At most I think Arin will be tempted by Ras's master's power in an episode and even do it, but then with the power of love and friendship, it'll get fixed.

So instead I'd rather say that Arin, by far, has the BEST power crisis arc of the entire show so far.

I LOVE that he doesn't get powers. That's something the original show would've done. I LOVE that he doesn't figure anything out in the end and his inner doubts get proven correct. That's something the original show would not have the guts to do.

I liked Arin in the first season, but he didn't interest me too much. Mostly because Sora had the lion share of focus in the first season. Here though? He might just take the crown for THE most relatable character. And I both love and hate it so much.

Like, seeing everyone else succeed in mastery while you can't even figure out your own thing. You get told you have a natural talent and a lot of potential and that you're good at a lot of things, only for that to be put to the test in the real world and you end up letting everyone down. Even when your loved ones encourage you that you are good enough and you're special in your own way, you can't get those voices out of your head and you mess up again and again and again to try and meet the world's expectations. Then those in charge tell you you're not good enough and wasted potential. Then you try everything out in the real world anyway and you FAIL, and those that doubt you and your own insecurities get proven correct as you're left a broken mess of a young child who doesn't know what the hell they're doing-

I'M IN THIS SHOW AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

I probably love Sora more as a character, but I will admit I grasp towards Arin more right now. Sora's a great trans allegory in a world that hates trans people. But I'm not trans so I relate to it a bit less. Arin's a great autistic allegory in a world that doesn't know how to help autistic people. And I am autistic so I relate to it more. That's just a me situation.

I am so invested in where Arin's story goes from here. Evil or not.

So yeah, the season was good, but didn't completely live up to the insane hype, which, to be fair, is a high bar.

UNTIL THE LAST FOUR EPISODES.

And then all of a sudden, I AM SHOCKED AND SHAKEN TO MY CORE.

These last four episodes are an absolute emotional roller coaster that left me shaking and screaming the whole time.

I actually SCREAMED at multiple occasions.

I actually screamed so many times watching this that I am now HOARSE.

THAT'S how hard it hit me.

The story goes from 0 to 100 the moment the Blood Moon shows up. Which was what the whole season was building up to. And it did NOT disappoint.

The race to try and protect Bonzle. The intense visions and paralysis Lloyd suffers from. Ras and the army coming back to the plot to be absolute powerhouses. The last episode of DREAD the entire time to desperately try to stop this ritual.

HUMAN SACRIFICES?! AM I WATCHING A KIDS SHOW RIGHT NOW?!?!

I was begging for Arin to succeed at getting Bonzle to safety, even though I knew he stood no chance against Ras. "Come on Arin! You got this!! YOU GOT THIS, SWEETIE!!"

And then Ras just goes to TOWN on the poor boy and taunts his utter failure, which HURTS SO BAD MAN.

The entire fight with the army, Cinder, and Ras. The destruction of the mechs which knocks them unconscious for a bit. Kai figuring out Rising Dragon again when his family gets put in danger. The way Nya avenges her brother afterwards.

When Bonzle was getting morphed back into spell form, BEGGING, I was begging too.

But they still do it!

And KAI?!?!

I couldn't even process what happened other than me screaming. From the moment Ras alluded to sacrificing Kai against his consent, I was screaming "NO. DON'T DO IT."

AND THEN THEY SACRIFICE HIM.

LIKE HOLY GOSH THIS FINALE DID NOT MESS AROUND.

I predicted a while back, in the first season actually, that Kai was gonna get sacrificed at some point. Who's laughing now? I DID NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.

Like, usually in Ninjago the character would be willing to sacrifice themselves for the others. But here? This is without Kai's consent at all. Ras might as well have killed him right here.

It definitely felt that way with the way the others react and BEG for his safety. The way Nya avenges him.

And Kai giving up his shot at escape for the sake of his family? BRO. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It hurts even more when you realize that when the Merge happened, Lloyd was ALONE thinking only he survived. He only gained hope again because of his reunion with Kai. His beloved surrogate brother!

AND NOW HE'S GONE.

NYA AND LLOYD LOST THEIR BROTHER.

WYLDFYRE LOST HER SURROGATE FATHER.

THEY THINK HE'S BASICALLY DEAD.

BRO. THAT'S SOUL CRUSHING.

And then Sora?! Why you gotta betray Arin like that?!

The most encouraging friend towards Arin, the person who held onto hope and praises for him the most, betrays that hope and doesn't trust him enough to get the winning blow himself. Then LIES about it.

GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

That's going to be SO compelling once that gets outed. Like, morally, that was messed up and she was definitely in the wrong, BUT it led to the best possible outcome for them at the moment. They WON because she did NOT believe in Arin's abilities. Which only proves that the doubts about Arin's said abilities are correct.

And I have a gut feeling she's gonna learn Spinjitsu on top of that. And once that happens... double ouch.

Again, Evil Arin Theory.

I really hate to say it, but this reminds way too much of Arcane. If you know what I'm talking about.

I am totally imagining a situation similar to that in my head, that being a rescue mission for Kai, they decide to leave Arin out of it because of the lack of faith in him, he tags along anyway and he ruins their plan and Kai stays trapped there, Lloyd and Sora lash out on him for it, and before they can apologize they get thrusted back by something and Ras and Ras's master find Arin and take him in-

Again, I'll make a post about that.

The finale was by far the best part of this season. It has been a long time since Ninjago has made me HOARSE from being too invested.

That has not happened to me since Sons of Garmadon.

Because, yeah, I actually have NO IDEA where any of this is headed. How are they gonna save Kai and Bonzle? Why did some of Lloyd's visions not come true? What in the world is going on with Ras? Will the Administration help with that? Will the source dragons help with that?

What I probably do know is that Part 2 of this season is going to turn this into the best Ninjago Product since Tournament of Elements. Maybe even top it depending on my rewatches if my problems are still problems.

So... yeah. Good or Nah? Good. Obviously.

The hype is a little overblown to me, but it still deserves the hype.

[hoss-bonaventure]

i want to expand on this post just cause i can.

so much of gus and jesse’s relationship is played as an affair. this is only because it makes walt’s anger about their dynamic feel more jilted, like a lover. when he confronts jesse about the two of them having dinner he uses language an excusatory husband would use if he caught his spouse cheating such as “tell me you weren’t as his house last night?” it’s very clearly written as jesse being disloyal to walt and their partnership. now the audience knows that’s just simply not true with jesse literally saying “if you kill mr. white, you’re going to have to kill me too” when he thinks gus is suggesting killing him. he’s devoted to mr. white throughly. even when he’s being shoved into these new situations by mike and gus, there’s never a moment where he thinks about abandoning him. he’s still in the back of his mind through everything, and every character knows this except for walt. that’s what makes most of the build-up leading to gus’s death so ironic. to walt, gus is the other woman who needs to be killed for fraternizing with what’s “his”. in reality, it’s his own brutality and sadistic behavior that is putting a wedge between him and jesse. 

it’s very reminiscent of walt finding out about skyler’s affair with ted. he lashes out and throws a tantrum but he never stops for a second and asks why it happened. he never comes to the conclusion that his actions are what’s driving skyler into another’s arms. he plots to get revenge on ted, but it’s never more serious than toxic masculine how-dare-you-sleep-with-my-wife bullshit. he wants to kill him, i don’t doubt that, but he can’t. how can he? killing, torturing, and all that depravity belongs in the “heisenberg” part of his life. he cannot touch ted because he is as mundane as the life he is fronting. 

now, i will admit, the skyler affair storyline and jesse’s so-called adultery are really not that similar at all. like i said, jesse is not betraying anyone--he is still fiercely dedicated to mr. white. his unfaithfulness is only interpreted as much by walt himself, and it’s walt’s delusions drive him away in the first place. skyler cheats as a means of revenge, as a way to take back some autonomy that walt had stripped her of. however, it’s the way that walt handles these individual perfidies that’s so captivating to me. when deciding what to do with gus, he immediately decides he needs to kill him. this was his plan prior, but now it’s more dire. jesse is gone. he needs to kill two birds with one stone: win back jesse and kill gus. more importantly, he needs to show jesse that him killing gus was something he did for the both of them. so thus he embarks on this convoluted, deplorable, fucked-up scheme. and hey! it works. he successfully manipulates jesse once again, implanting in his brain that no one will have your best interests at heart but me. “gus had to go” and jesse has to agree because this pseudo-son is dying and mr. white is right there and he saved him right? he saved brock and he saved jesse and it doesn’t matter that their love has a body count. their reunion is so impactful because they’re like magnets in a way. the connection they share is so strong that it doesn’t matter how hard they fight or run away, they will cling to each other once more. but what’s devastating this time around is that jesse doesn’t have a leg to stand on with mr. white anymore. he almost fucking killed him and it turns out the “real” mastermind was gus all along. so he offers his submission as an apology, when mr. white holds out his hand he takes it because this is how he can say he’s sorry. and walt? how could he not fall in love all over again. he has jesse, freshly martyred and in his arms once again. 

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

it’s crazy how women speak to each other so little on this show that kate and sun having one scene together feels like an oasis in the desert. do not get me wrong lost is fine with women it just does NOT pass the bechdel test most episodes unfortunately. nothing to be done we already got once upon a time out of it i wouldn’t ask for more. anyway. kate and sun 🫶

[featherymainffins]

Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.

[uniformbravo]

trying to binge read webtoons but i keep catching up in them??? disgusting

[rrxnjun]

where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him. 

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude. 

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all. 

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would. 

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe. 

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…” 

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier. 

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose. 

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one. 

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence. 

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–” 

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now–  as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does. 

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?” 

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help. 

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice. 

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car. 

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack. 

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this? 

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening. 

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place. 

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind. 

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain. 

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different. 

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike. 

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile. 

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest. 

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about. 

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning. 

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now. 

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body. 

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface. 

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft. 

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?” 

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you. 

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more. 

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough. 

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed? 

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him. 

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time. 

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair. 

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him. 

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again. 

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else. 

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge. 

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression. 

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?” 

“Hm?” 

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence.  “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

[naomihatake]

In search of freedom (Ch. 1)

1. They're bad news

Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀She's been searching for freedom her entire life and everytime she thought it was laying right in front of her eyes, she was mistaken. She was running around the East Blue, seeking herself and her dreams, meeting people she never forgot. No matter how much she traveled, she could only catch a glimpse of peace before realizing everything would crumble at her feet.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Maybe it was destiny that brought her on that ship with three strangers — foolishly, that's what she tried to believe when the moon shined beautifully and hope settled in her chest, squeezed by the same ribcage where feelings were blooming.

Pairing: female!reader x OPLA Zoro Roronoa. This chapter follows the events of the first episode.

Warnings for this chapter: physical violence (fights), mentions of deaths, fluff, some cursing, mentions of tarot and palm readings

Word count: 3,6k

Theme song: “Loreley” by Blackmore's Night (click on the link)

A/N: This is the first part of a fanfiction I was thinking of since first watching One Piece Live Action. I started the anime too and I'm around episode 64 already. I'm using the OPLA course of action for now and I have no idea for an ending, but enough scenarios to write and share. I don't know how far this will go, but I'll have fun writing it and considering how much I like Zoro (born anime and LA), I'm using both of them as inspiration. Sorry for the lack of interaction between reader and Zoro, but I promise things will change.

The reader will be referred to as "Witch" especially in the next chapter, because I have no intentions of using "Y/N". There will be more information revealed about her past and abilities in the next chapter.

I'm open for comments and opinions <3

"Excuse me," she smiled sweetly while swaying away from someone who was standing right in front of her and a table she had to serve for. "Here," she carefully let the plates down.

She received a large smile coming from the young man with dark curls and a straw hat hanging around his neck. His pink haired companion seemed very shy, barely glancing at her before looking back at his plate, thanking in a small voice.

The tavern buzzed with a peaceful energy in the late hours of morning, the big windows letting the warm rays of sun in, lighting up the place. There were men sitting at a few tables, no sign of any other woman except for her and the very owner of that place, who just finished cooking something — were those cookies? It smelled divine.

Her dress fluttered around her knees as she moved away from their table to take other orders, a strand of her hair falling against her cheek after running around for so long. When she finally stopped in her tracks by the bar, intense eyes searched for anyone else who might've needed something. Lucky for her, she could finally breathe for a few seconds, resting her hips against the bar.

However, her eyes fell on the tall figure who just chugged down his throat a shot of alcohol. His green hair made her frown to herself, looking away before she could get caught ogling some stranger. After a few seconds, she looked at him again, this time at the three swords resting against his hip.

Three swords? What can someone do with three swords?

Everyone probably had the same question whenever they saw him for the first time. However, he felt somehow familiar, as if she's heard of someone like that before. A pirate? No, wait, a pirate hunter? The owner told her of so many things and so many people it was impossible to remember each one of them, but she was pretty sure she mentioned some pirate hunter only a few days ago.

Her thought process was interrupted when a man with blonde hair and suit walked by in front of her. Considering the men dressed in white uniforms who entered with him, they must be marines and he was probably their superior — he was walking like he owned the entire port.

She held back from rolling her eyes in annoyance. Her thoughts ran back to what her friend said about pirates last time, the way they argued back and forth about how pirates aren't good. However, she had her own reasons for claiming that not all pirates were ruthless monsters, without elaborating.

She flinched lightly when she heard the thud of a metal plate falling on the floor, snapping her head towards a little girl who was stuttering apologies to the blonde man. Her eyebrows were pulled together at his angry and loud voice mocking the child who had tears in her eyes, fear seeping through her very bones at the exaggerated reaction.

Apparently, they knocked into each other. Oh, there were two cookies on the floor. One of them got crushed under the man's foot.

She smoothly made her way by the side of the little girl, smiling at her as she crouched down to her level.

"Is everything alright, little one? Did you apologize?" the woman's hand squeezed the girl's shoulder warmly.

Rika's only response was a nod.

"Good job. It's alright, I'll help you clean up. Why don't you bring me a broom, hm?" she coaxed the girl with a gentle voice.

Once the girl walked away, she stood up straight again, arching her eyebrow questionably at the arrogant man by her side.

"Is there anything else I could help you with?"

"What, are you working here? If the answer's positive, then you better teach those stupid kids some manners," he huffed.

"You should teach yourself how to behave," she commented right back, her sharp gaze sizing him up and down.

"Take that back. Next time I won't be so nice," the blonde marine grinned.

Oh, and what an ugly grin it was on that fucker's face.

"You dropped my food," a low voice from behind interrupted.

The young woman turned her head towards the voice, confusion written on her face as she made a few steps back, out of his way. It was the green haired man she noticed earlier, now sitting on one of his knees on the cold floor.

Rika came back with a broom almost twice her size, the object quickly taken from her hold by the woman who smiled at her again. While they exchanged glances, the pirate hunter let himself down on one of his knees, taking some of the crushed cookie into his palm.

A sly smile tugged at the woman's lips. A pirate hunter or not, he had more dignity than a marine even in that kneeling position. She was more satisfied to see the little one smiling.

"Your turn," the green-haired man lowered his voice, a dark glare thrown at the astonished marine.

The pirate hunter raised back up and placed the metal plate on the bat, his intimidating height against the arrogant blonde monkey in front of him telling enough.

"Apologize to the girl," he demanded in a relaxed tone.

"Me? It was her fault for bumping into me. The lady should apologize for disrespecting me."

Apologize, my ass, she thought to herself, one step away from bursting out laughing. What did he take her for?

"Do you want a fight or what?" he drew his sword out, a knowing grin curled on his face. "I don't need three swords to fight."

The woman looked down at the little girl who was still by her side, ruffling her hair.

"Why don't you go to your mother, hm? And stay there until I call you back."

Her stern voice didn't give space for arguing; Rika complied, going to the kitchen.

She heard some muttering and next thing she knew, both of the men in front of her had drawn their swords out. Apparently, the green-haired one decided to advance closer to the marine, in an attempt to keep the fight away from the lady.

Hmph. Swordsmen and their unusual gentlemanly behavior.

Squeezing the broom in between her fingers, she moved away, furrowing her eyebrows in a scowl.

"No fights in here, you jerks!" she scoffed.

Expertly, while the other marines attacked one man — how unethical of them — and swords clashed against each other after sharp whistling noises, the woman swept away the cookies on the floor. She faked doing her own duties, like the good employee that she was, throwing careful glances at the fight happening right next to her. If she wasn't careful enough, she could get sliced in two.

"I advise you to get out of the way," she heard the swordsman's voice growling right after he threw a chair into three men, making them fall to the floor.

"You'll destroy the entire place if I do."

Right after saying those words, without anyone noticing in that damned agitation, with a quick movement of the broom, she made one of the marines trip.

Just like the idiots that they were.

"Oh my god, you should be more careful!" she placed a hand over her lips, fake surprise and fear coloring her features.

Who would believe such an innocent being was capable of such malicious actions?

With a strong creak followed by a thud, one marine was thrown into a table that turned the both of them upside down, groans filled with pain vibrating through the tavern.

She was right about them destroying the place.

However, the commotion didn't cause too much distress to the woman still moving the broom around, acting as if she had business with that newly found weapon. It might not be lethal, but she couldn't be spotted while she was intentionally making the marines' jobs harder. In the month she's been working there, she saw more than just one fight and used everything that she saw fit to stop it — be it a broom or a kitchen knife.

Now that she analyzed the fight better, it seemed like the pirate hunter barely even had to draw his sword out of its scabbard, at some point knocking someone's head into the bar. He used his raw strength and the objects surrounding him, thankfully without destroying any of them. The can he threw into another man's stomach seemed so effortless.

That must've hurt, though.

The blonde marine was quickly pulled by the back of his collar, back colliding with the bar, and an angry swordsman towering over him. She didn't hear anything nor paid attention anymore, eyes focused on the tavern that was ruined only half way through.

She sighed after watching both of the men walking out of there, biting her lower lip to hold back a fit of laughter at the marine who stumbled while being dragged by the bounty hunter.

"Why do men always fight in this tavern?" she talked to herself, raising one of the chairs and putting it back in place. "One day of peace is all I want in this port, only one day, and I can't get even that."

She sighed again, only for that long exhale to get stuck in her throat once her eyes fell on the table that was almost sitting in the opposite way rather than how it should be. Once she approached it, stepping by the marine who was trying to get up.

She would never help someone who had less dignity than a dog following some orders from a brainless monkey. Heck, even those animals were smarter.

Instead, she tried to move the table back in its place. Her fingers were so close to gripping at one side of the table before someone appeared at the opposite side. The young man with a straw hat and a square smile she served only a few minutes ago raised the table by himself, carefully arranging it until he was satisfied with its position.

"Thank you so much for the help," she smiled at him. "Be careful where you step, I think a glass also broke."

There were some shreds on the floor somewhere close to the table the young man sat at earlier.

"Thank you for your concern," he smiled just like the first time.

Gosh, has she ever seen such a beautiful soul? His eyes sparkled and the happiness suited him like it did to a little child who has no clue of the harsh world. However, he didn't seem phased or scared by what happened earlier — his hands weren't shaking at all and there was no fear lingering in his stare.

She turned to take the broom and came closer to his companion, who was sitting under the table. She bent her torso to give him a hand, helping him get back to his feet.

"Careful with the glass, check your hands," she warned again.

"I saw what you did there."

She turned towards the straw hat guy, blinking owlishly at him.

"I don't really get what you mean."

She started sweeping the shred of broken glass, not paying attention to the curious and insistent gaze she was receiving.

"You surely do. I'm Monkey D. Luffy and I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

Her eyes widened at the second part of his speech, snapping her head back at him. Without even realizing, her fingers were squeezing the broom quite harshly, fingertips going white.

"That's—" she started in a small voice, blinking like an idiot and staring at him.

She's heard that before. She's heard the same dream before and it brought so much suffering.

"That's dangerous," she finally got the courage to continue, still hesitant.

"You're brave for interfering with their fight."

Luffy looked into her eyes as if he could guess the thoughts running through her head, as if he could read her very soul, drinking in her features and reaction.

"You must've seen wrong," she let out a light chuckle, getting a grip on herself. "I'm just clumsy sometimes."

She was thankful she stopped herself from cussing out the Marines, because in less than a second after she finished her sentence, a few other men dressed in white uniforms appeared to help their comrades back to the base. She casted a skeptical eye at each one of them, like silent warnings.

They were pathetic, some of them still stumbling while trying to get up, their swords thrown around carelessly. After they all disappeared from her sight, her shoulders obviously relaxed again.

"I have to admit I hated each second of staying so much with these idiots around," she huffed quietly. "That spoiled child who takes advantage of his father's status was getting on my nerves."

"That's why you helped that swordsman, right?"

Luffy continued with his supposition, not letting go of what he thought he saw — it was the truth, but it would be dangerous to admit.

"I didn't help anyone, really. That was unintentional."

"Don't press it too much, Luffy," his companion's voice trembled.

"Koby, I know what I saw," Luffy pulled his lips into a straight line.

She resumed what she was doing, sweeping at the pieces of glass, seeing almost each one of them in the light seeping through the window.

"If you want to become King of the Pirates, I suppose you also want to get the One Piece, right?"

She was foolish. She was stupid for asking, for getting herself in such business that somehow always ended with too many deaths, with broken dreams. However, something was nagging in her gut. Deep down, it felt so right to ask.

"Yes! I need the Grand Line map for that and I intend on getting from the Marine Base here."

"You're insane, kid," her shoulders shook with her light laughter.

It was a sour sound.

She stopped, leaning her weight into the broom, looking down at the glass in front of her. She shouldn't help them. She should stay in her place if she wanted those young men to survive. What they were trying to do was basically suicide, they just didn't know. Koby seemed to be more fearful, hesitant and so, so shy. Luffy didn't say "us"; he said "I" — the pink-haired guy was not really part of the plan.

Against better judgment, she raised her head at him, promises sparkling in her eyes just like the shreds of glass.

"You can't just ask for that map and I hope you know that. What you want to get yourself into isn't just dangerous, it's like jumping into a suicide mission," her voice strained, pouring all of her hope in her next words: "However, I can help you get inside. Be careful, you have to make sure no one catches you."

"So I was right about you!" Luffy beamed.

"Right about what?"

"That you're brave."

Her lips opened, but no sound came from between them. It was pointless to deny it when he seemed so stubborn about what he saw and believed.

"I think this is a lot to say about someone who's helping you steal secret maps," the side of her mouth curled upwards.

Koby was left astonished. Stealing from the Marines was suicide.

"Listen here, kid," she lowered her voice, stepping closer to whisper. She set her gaze on Luffy's. "You have to get out of there alive, no matter what. Lie if you have to, but I have a feeling you're very bad at that, so be careful. That isn't a place to fool around in. You could get yourself killed in a blink. The Marines are very sneaky."

"There are good Marines and bad Marines," he shrugged. "Maybe I'll meet someone who's willing to help."

"I like your enthusiasm, but that unit base doesn't fit," she shook her head. "Both Captain Morgan and his son aren't the good kind of people."

She squeezed the broom in between her fingers again, an ugly feeling clawing at her throat. She didn't want a kid to die for following his dreams, but freedom was something she always craved.

"I'll tell you a way to get inside the base from underneath. You have to keep your lips sealed — I don't worry about myself, but about the owner and her daughter. I don't want word spreading around."

"You can count on me!" he placed his hand on his heart, as if he sealed the promise there. "Who are you? I want to know who's helping me."

Damned be his sincerity.

"I'll give you my name after you get out of there alive."

She smiled, eyes sparkling with delicious mischief.

"That is a promise. I'll be around the Marine Base and I'll tell you my name after I see you get out of there alive."

That seemed to stir something in Luffy's soul, inhaling with pride. A man of his word, indeed, just like she thought.

"Deal.

•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈

Her name left the lips of a scolding mother, even if it wasn't her mom.

"I saw you." The second time she heard tthat same phrase in one day.

Annie patted the tip of her shoe against the floor repeatedly.

"I was just lucky enough not to get myself in trouble," she shrugged.

However, her eyes fell on the floor, guilty about getting caught like a deer in the light.

"You could've gotten yourself in big trouble!" the owner of the tavern raised her voice.

Rika pouted up at her mother, trying to sweeten her reaction.

"She just wanted to help, just like—"

"Rika," this time, the scolded one firmly spoke her name. "Don't take me as an idol. It's true that something could have happened."

The little girl shouldn't worry about such a bloody world just yet and she wanted to help it for as long as possible. Being stubborn was a death sentence, even if she would always get herself into trouble if it meant to stick to her principles.

She'd rather die on her feet than live on her knees.

"Just because this time everything was fine, it doesn't mean next time will be the same," Annie exhaled loudly, frowning.

"There won't be a next time," the young woman sank her chin in her chest. "I should leave these days. Soon enough, word will spread out about my tarot and palm readings. I don't want to cause you any more trouble."

"You little witch," the usual scolding was replaced with a warm nickname.

She raised her head again, struggling to smile. Leaving after she got attached always hurt.

"That man was Roronoa Zoro, wasn't it?" Annie asked, her body suddenly tensing.

"Most probably," she shrugged. "Three swords, three earrings. He put on quite a show, to be honest," the words were followed by a chuckle.

"I see the way your eyes are sparkling. Don't even think about getting into some conversation with such a troublesome person."

"What could do some adventure to a poor soul like me?" she teased.

"It could bring you six feet under."

•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈

"I'm no witch, you idiots!" she struggled against the harsh grip the two men had on her arms.

She hissed when one of them sank his fingertips in her upper arms, glaring at him.

Shithead marines.

She continued writhing and struggling, stomping her feet into the ground in an awful attempt to stop them. She intended on keeping her promise after she helped the straw hat sneak into their base. She waited for as long as it was necessary after she gathered her things in a bag that hung around her shoulders. She was supposed to leave that place after she made sure the kid was alright and alive.

"God dammit!" she shouted. "How many times do I have to explain I'm not doing anything wrong?!"

"You're lying to people and receiving money, filthy witch. You're a thief," one of the men commented as they continued walking her away from the port.

"I didn't steal shit!" she snapped.

"Watch out!" she heard a familiar voice.

Instantly, she bent her torso down. The man on her right was punched in the face with so much force he released her grip on her and stumbled into the marine on her left, both of them now on the ground.

She didn't even get enough time to process what was happening, something curling around her waist carefully, but so fast. A yelp left her lips when she realized she was being lifted off the ground, turning her head towards the source.

It was the straw hat's arm. He ate a devil fruit, didn't he?

He was on a boat that was sailing a few meters away in the sea and she was being pulled towards him. She also recognized the pirate hunter from earlier and a woman with orange hair, both of them far too relaxed for what was happening.

That guy was made of rubber!

She recognized Koby who just got to his feet after she got past him, her feet finally touching something solid again. She blinked confused at the straw hat.

"You can't bring everyone that you like on this ship," the swordsman let out a hopeless sigh.

She busted out laughing like a maniac, the colorful and rich sound filling the air. Her shoulders shook and she had to place her hand over her stomach, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Obviously, her reaction was met with an especially questionable look coming from the swordsman, who most probably thought he got on a ship with another insane human.

"You're insane, kid," she wiped the tears in her eyes with her fingers, still smiling widely.

She hasn't felt such relief in years.

"I guess I gotta fulfill a promise, right?"

•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈

[cataclysmic-cathexis]

Can we take it... slow?

Because I am once again completely normal about a piece of media, here is a visual essay on You Wear Fine Things Well Take 2: Faces and What Those Faces Are Doing (It's Kissing, But Also Emotions)

(I lightened all these screenshots up so the faces are more visible)

Ed is telling Stede his very sweet fishing story. Stede is reacting totally appropriately - gasping, eyes wide, interested and adorable. He's genuinely loving spending this time with Ed, hearing about his day.

He even leans forward to examine the lil fishy. CUTE. He's just so happy to be here, with Ed, talking about their days, spending time together. ("I love being near you.")

Stede tells Ed his abbreviated "cursed suit" story, where Ed delivers the "that wasn't a long story at all" line deadpan with this hilarious face:

(Why is this face so funny? Scientists in the future may know, but alas, this mystery will not be answered within our lifetime.)

Ed then ups the ante - going from that hilarious face to this SCORCHING HOT ONE after uttering the line that ruined the life of everyone on this hellsite

You wear fine things well

Those big brown 'come hither' eyes are HITHERING (it's a word, don't Google it tho)

What I also like about the refrain of "you wear fine things well" - Ed is signaling to Stede that he is ready to take another step. In the last episode, Ed put down a firm boundary - "you don't get to say that to me." Stede, in his adorable, desperate, determined, stubborn yet respectful way, backed off (by delivering an arguably MORE romantic speech but whatever - he respected Ed's boundary and didn't say "I love you"). Ed is pulling from their shared history, from a beautiful moment where they both felt something (although it's arguable as to whether or not in the moment Stede actually knew what he was feeling - he certainly with hindsight was like OOOOOOOOHHH).

So Ed is giving Stede the ok to take a step forward - which he does, while making this face with is the human equivalent of the heart eyes emoji:

Stede then looks away - and he stays in place, letting Ed come to him, making sure it's Ed to initiate. I think Stede wants Ed to be sure, doesn't want to push, since he knows how badly he fucked up and knows how deep Ed's hurt is.

Stede looks back up, but stays in place. Ed is looking at him with such vulnerability...

..as he slowly does his adorable little teenager-about-to-have-their-first-kiss shuffle...

And he leans in for that sweet kiss under the waxing moon.

Initially it's just Ed who is leaning in, but then Stede leans into the kiss as well - and deepens it.

Ed is then like "ok weird for ME to be the one saying this but it's probably healthier if we don't skip straight to banging each other's brains out on the deck of the ship and like, make sure of our feelings first"

After Ed says "We're whim-prone, as you said," Stede goes through a little mini crisis. First, fuck why did I say that:

Then - before Ed can finish what he's saying, Stede's face falls. He's so worried he's messed this up. Ed gave him a kiss and he tried to go too fast, and he's getting rejected again.

He tries to put a brave face on it, but our lil guy is SO SAD

Then once Ed finishes his fish metaphor ("You can't catch a fish unless the fish wants to be caught") Stede realises that Ed isn't rejecting him. I think Ed's vulnerability here and how unsure he is ("we're the fish, I guess. Maybe. I think.") helps Stede to remember hey, this isn't about me and my stuff right now, this is about Ed and Ed's stuff.

Stede gains a little confidence back. He's reassured. Ed is still trying to figure out who he is without Blackbeard, and Stede gets it. And Ed still wants him to be a part of who the new Ed is ("we're the fish"). He's like ok, I got u babe.

So he pulls himself back, but he still wants Ed to feel his affection, and to know that Ed is loved. So he holds Ed's hand and asks for permission.

"What about this? Is this alright?"

"This? Perfect."

Then they have their adorable little hand moment - just happy that they understand one another, happy to be touching, happy to be together.

"You won." Stede whispers.

Ed looks away, beaming:

And, in contrast to the last time they stood on the deck, under the moon, and said "you wear fine things well", this time they walk off together.

FIN.

[symp4nat]

I saw you wanted Dior requesters and I had an idea, so here you go. You don’t have to write it, but thank you so much if you do.

Dior coming home from the gym in her workout gear to find you asleep in her bed wearing her clothes?

Post Workout Nap

dior goodjohn x curly-hair!reader (it isnt said but kinda implied idk)

authors note 1: reader isnt an actor

authors note2: "i- i go, i wanna go, i wanna write" (me when starting to write this at 2 am)

You were tired out of your bones to be able to do anything today. To keep yourself entertained, you tried working on your project for your college classes, listening to music, eating snacks and you even ended up straightening your hair out of pure boredom. Everytime you tried to work on your project, you kept getting distracted, and then frustrated.

Dior had left the house at 2 and told you she would be back by 6. It was now 7 and you were lucky she was the type to tell you if she'd be late. She texted you that she might be an hour late because she was with Malia, Momona and Leah. A few of your friends were invited, but they chose not to go since you weren't.

You didn't mind Dior being out, of course you didn't, it was just, you hadn't seen her for the whole day. In the first half of the day she quickly got dressed and made some breakfast for the two of you and rushed off to the studio. You were glad you got to talk to her for a few minutes in the morning, but you missed her.

Occasionally, Dior went out with her friends without letting you know, but usually she'd pick you up. Her friends adored you.

After a long day of classes, you slipped into one of Dior's hoodies and laid on the couch. You turned on her favourite show and leaned against one of the pillows. Not long after, your eyes drifted close and you snuggled into the pillow. With a startled reaction, you woke up 5 minutes later, disappointed you fell asleep. You continued half-watching the TV, but your eyes kept flickering over to the clock and your phone. 

-

By the time Dior walked in, you were fast asleep on the couch. When she noticed that the TV was still playing, she sighed and went to turn it off where she was met with the sight of you calmly sleeping.

You had one of the strings of Dior's hoodie (that you stole) wrapped around your finger and your other hand curled up into your chest. Dior ran her fingers through your hair and smiled softly.

She couldn't lie, you were always irresistible but right now, you looked so cute, she couldn't resist taking a picture. She did as she wished and put her phone back when she noticed you softly hummed. Dior's hand caressed your cheek and she said, "I'll get the blanket and you can lay on my lap, once I change," she softly mumbled.

Your eye peeked open and a blush covered your face as you noticed her in her workout clothes. She held back a laugh and said gently, "We went out for an early dinner and I had to drop the girls off. Sorry 'm late." You shook your head in understanding. "Food was good," you asked.

Dior nodded and ran upstairs with a shirt on and your blanket. She draped the blanket over your lap and you lifted your head so she could sit where your head was. Once she was comfortable, she pressed play on the show to finish watching the episode you left off on. "Night, pretty girl," she said gently into your hair.

[throughthebluesea]

The Duplicate. (Special Chapter)

pairing: bada lee x 1million member!reader

genre: fluff, a bit humor-ish... bc... king bada is here again. overprotective bada, the rest of team bebe being the biggest instigators.

den's notes: i suggest reading the first part here. ♡ this is dedicated to team bebe, our champion crew! also, this is dedicated to those who enjoyed the first one-shot i posted here. i never expected the support. 🥺 anyways, this is not proofread, but still enjoy!

D-Day. The finale episode has arrived, and everyone has been practicing hard, perfecting their final routines. You and Bada became so busy with your crews that the two of you only meet after long hours of dance practices. The both of you understood and instead became each other's support. The two are in the final four crews, after all.

One thing that piqued their interest is that they will be shooting with Street Gagwoman Fighter 2 casts. The other members are not worried, but you're a different case.

You would recall Bada getting jealous over your interactions with King Bada. Although you had assured her many times, she would still get affected whenever their closest peers from different crews tease you because of it. (You guys had a big group chat with all the 8 crews, and the Wolf 'Lo ladies won't shut up about it. They love teasing Bada about it.)

And now, Bada told you that she will shoot with King Bada and her crew.

Before the shoot starts, you went over their crew room, greeting all the girls good luck then head over to Bada and surprised her with a tight backhug.

"Hey, cutie."

You can feel her flinch and turned around quickly, her eyes wide when she saw you. "Baby! You're here! Are you done with the voting ad shoot?" She asked as her hands find your cheeks and cupped it gently.

"Already done! I begged PD to let me in here and watch."

Just as Bada is about to reply, Mijin, the one who plays King Bada enters the room all smileys yet you can feel her nervousnes as she is going to finally meet her.

The rest of BEBE were in awe to see King Bada, and gushed about how she looks extremely similar with their team leader.

Mijin spots the two of you and waved, to which you reciprocated. You felt her arms tightened around yours and you looked up at Bada, staring at her doppelganger.

Tatter and Kyma were the first ones to notice the actions of their leader towards you, then approached Mijin, whispering something to her and her reaction to what they told her gained laughter from the rest of the team.

"You can do it, King Bada-nim!" Kyma cheered, lightly pushing Mijin towards you two. Tatter on the other hand were laughing hard behind her. Lusher and Cheche just shook their heads while Sowoen and Minah stood there, utterly confused.

Mijin, or King Bada strided towards the couple with confidence, with her hands on the pockets of her khaki pants.

"Lee Bada." Your eyebrows raised when Mijin approached you and Bada, confused as to what she's going to do.

"King Bada." Your girlfriend answered while her arms tightened around you more.

"I'm taking my girl back." Mijin/King Bada responded with confidence and tried pulling you to her side. The girls gasped and squealed in the background. Bada scoffed and pulled you back. "You mean, my girl?"

Not gonna lie, this exchange with the comedienne and Bada being more quite possessive is hot, you thought. Mijin just cowers and hid behind team BEBE, muttering apologies and that she was just joking, even telling that it was Tatter's and Kyma's idea.

The two instigators just laughed their asses off, satisfied at how the exchange turned out to be.

Before Bada became sulky, you cupped both her cheeks and assured her. This calmed the female down a bit and let go of you to greet the comedienne, apologizing for her slightly hostile behavior towards her.

They proceeded with the shoot. A couple of takes has been made but they finished just in time. You were watching from behind the scenes and you noticed that Bada and her crew are doing very well. The atmosphere lightened up and as they finished the shoot, they took pictures with Mijin while they praised her.

Lusher slides herself beside you and placed an arm around you. "Unnie, your presence here boosted the morale of the team, especially Bada-unnie's."

You smiled at the younger's words, "Well, even though both of us are competitors in this show, we promised that we'll be each other's support pillar when times got hard."

"Bada-unnie's happiness is ours."

You patted the small of her back, thanking her for being so appreciative with your relationship with their leader.

"I think you, Bada-unnie, and King Bada-nim needs a selca. The fans would love it!" Lusher states with a mischievous grin and dragged you towards them.

Lusher told the girls about her idea, to which they agreed with. Bada was hesitant at first, since it's her sub-leader's way of teasing her for her act recently. Mijin was stuttering when she asked her if she wants to take a picture with you and Bada in it.

She eventually gave in, and gladly played along. The rest of Team BEBE were fangirling so hard with the choice of poses the three of you did. Bada then hugged Mijin after, thanking her support and love for Team BEBE. Mijin joked that she was originally a 1Million fan but shifted to Team BEBE after being tasked to portray the leader.

It's your turn now to scoff and try towering her, jokingly telling her that you were disappointed and all. Everyone laughed at your feigned disappointment with Mijin had said.

-

The photos were uploaded after the live finale episode by Lusher. It trended quickly, but it's the least of your worries. Your focus is on the teary-eyed victor, who is still looking over the trophy in her hands. Team BEBE became the winning crew, and your team landed on the third spot. You could've worked harder, but Lia and the rest of your crew already took this as a big win.

Amongst the crowd of your fellow competitors, you made your way towards your girlfriend. When she spots you, she immediately engulfs you with a tight hug.

The two of you didn't say a word. All you two knew is that both of you are proud of each other and what you two achieved in the competition.

- fin.

[korebringerofded]

A Spoonful of Sugar-Suguru Geto X F!Reader

A/N- Yes, this is very self-indulgent. This takes place-season 2 episode 5, before Geto's defection Description- Suguru falls in love with a cute baker (you) while on his way back from a mission, he quickly becomes obsessed with more than just the sweets you make. Words-1600 Warnings-Depression, hopelessness, smut at the end, oral sex, semi-public sex, one use of y/n, sad desperate geto

A/N- I ask that you read my rules before going any further. Reblogs, likes, and comments are always appreciated and keep me going. All requests are open and you can find my entire masterlist here.

The rain was pouring down over the barren street, Suguru had just finished another mission and was making his way to the train station, his tongue coated in a disgusting film of greasy curse residue that traveled down his throat and into the pit of his stomach. The taste would linger for hours, sometimes days. 

It was starting to become unbearable.

Not just the taste of curses, his whole life was becoming unbearable, hazy, like he was in a waking dream.

The never ending missions, the continuously growing pile of his comrades corpses, the loneliness.

Exorcize, absorb, exorcize, absorb.

The same thing day in day out, week after week, month after month, year after year.

Exorcize, absorb, exorcize, absorb. 

“Don't waver, fulfill your duty as a strong jujutsu sorcerer.”

Exorcize, absorb, exorcize, absorb. 

Suguru wasn’t even sure how he even ended up here, he had meant to go to the train station but he had somehow found himself at a colorful entryway to a small bakery.

It was nothing special, not really anyways, bright colors and a neon sign that almost hurt to look at. Despite all that, the whole place had a sweet and inviting smell that seemed to cut through the damp smell of the rain outside.

He wouldn’t have categorized himself as an individual who enjoyed sweets, he preferred his coffee black and given the choice he would have a savory snack over a sugary one. He never really cared much for bakeries unless Satoru was dragging him to one…and something about that sweet and thick scent made the rotten taste in his mouth less noticeable. 

He pushed open the door, the warm air brushing over his cheeks as he looked around. It was clean, bright pinks and blue, the thick smell of coffee and sweets. He was almost surprised when he looked up to see you coming out from the back, a tray of perfectly frosted cupcakes in your hands. 

Suguru couldn’t help it, the curve of your lip, the flutter of your lashes. You were a breath of fresh air, beautiful and warm…all he could do was stare at you, his tired eyes locked on your face like he was trying to put it to memory.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” You asked with a smile and a tilted head.

Suguru didn’t miss the way your eyes lingered on him, looking him up and down the same way he did to you. He watched the way you dusted your hands off on your apron, a small cloud of flour left behind as you did.

“Hm.” Suguru looked over the display case at the endless variety of cakes and pastries with a tired sigh.

“Just two of whatever is most popular, I suppose.” Suguru said with a shrug, his back hunched as he shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Welll.” You thought about it for a moment, tapping your chin and chewing on your bottom lip for a moment.

“Our coffee is famous in the neighborhood and I like to say my carrot-cake would be world famous if given the chance.” You said with a toothy grin.

“Ha, really now?” Suguru chuckled, taking a seat at the counter, his eyes taking in the curve of your hips, the crinkle of your eyes when you smiled.

Suguru crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair. “Well…alright, a coffee for now, and I will take two slices of your ‘world famous’ carrot cake to-go.” Suguru teased.

You giggled softly as you nodded, moving to pour him a fresh cup of coffee, the wonderful scent filling the room as the steam billowed in clouds over the cup. 

You smiled, reaching to hand him the cream and sugar before to your absolute horror, this very handsome man sipped from his coffee completely black, no cream, no sugar, nothing. It was appalling to you, you had only thought those monsters were a myth.  

“I absolutely cannot allow you to drink your coffee that way!” You huffed, a puff of your cheeks and your hands on your hips as you stared at Suguru with horror written all over your face. 

“Oh, really?” Geto asked, a smirk tugging at his lips as he leaned forward, his elbow resting on the counter as his chin rested in the palm of his hand. “And what about the old ‘the customer is always right’ saying, hm?” 

“Nope, I’m not hearing it. It would pain me to let you ruin my perfect coffee by drinking it like that.” You were having none of it, and you waved him off as you already got to work pouring sugar and cream into his coffee. 

All Suguru could do was watch with widened eyes and a smile tugging at his lips, he was quite amused with this but at the same time watching the way you pouted, the way you scolded him for his cofee. It made his heart ache. 

“Just like…Satoru used to do.” Suguru thought to himself solemnly.

“So, are you going to tell me your name before you harass me for my tastes some more?” Suguru teased, his eyes following you as he sipped on the now sweetened coffee with amusement dancing in his eyes. 

“Hmmm, perhaps.” You teased, a soft blush spreading over your cheeks as he stared down at you. His soft and comforting voice had a strange affect on you and it sent goosebumps dancing down your spine. 

“Y/N.” You said softly.

“Suguru Geto.”

After that first time, that very first hello, not a single thing on earth could have kept Suguru Geto away from you. 

You, who had a toothy smile and bright eyes so full of life, you, who didn’t falter in showing Suguru such a new and sweet brand of stress relief he never thought possible. Everything about you, that place, it all made his problems seem significantly further away. 

And so, week after week, despite the bakery being a train and ten-minute bus ride away, Suguru made the trip as often as he could. If he had a particularly difficult mission, he always found himself at your doorstep, craving a dose of your infectious sweetness to wash away the taste of shit that the rest of the world often left behind. 

You didn’t take away all the misery or erase anything that had happened, it didn’t change the failures or fix the world, you just made it all more tolerable. 

You grew accustomed to his visits, his soft and calm voice, his tired eyes, the way his hands would linger over yours when you two would occasionally brush hands. You couldn’t help but to think about him, his handsome face and his dark eyes filled with a past he had yet to talk about.

That was, until one particular late night. You were working late, prepping inventory and such for the week, the store was closed so to say it was strange to hear a rapid knock at the front door would be an understatement.

What was even more strange was what you found as you approached the door, Suguru was leaned against the doorway in the pouring rain, his eyes puffy and his body soaked down to the bone, his hair damp and dangling in front of his face. 

From just that one look at him, you just…knew something was wrong. Instead of his normal black uniform, pressed and clean, he wore a white t-shirt that looked two sizes too large for him and baggy black pants. 

“I’m…sorry.” He whispered, looking up at you with desperation in his eyes. “I just…I need you.” 

And that was how you ended up in the back room of the shop, legs draped over Suguru’s shoulders as he licked and sucked your puffy clit like it was the only thing he could do.

Your jeans and panties long forgotten somewhere, your shirt and bra pushed up over your tits so Suguru could squeeze and pinch your pretty pink nipples every time his tongue lapped up the slick from your pretty, perfect cunt.

“Ah- fuck, Suguru.” You gasped, back arching off of the table.

Suguru’s fingers dug into your hips as he pulled you closer, his eyes fluttering as his own moans sent low and deep vibrations running through your already soaked pussy as his tongue fucked deep into you, his nose brushing past your clit as Suguru groaned even louder, your taste was something he wanted to commit to memory.

Suguru was fully clothed, his dick painfully hard in his pants, a small wet patch from where he had already come, though he didn’t really care. He relished in your taste, the way your clit twitched and puffed as he dragged his tongue over it. You were the best fucking thing he had ever tasted. 

He was probably (definitely) enjoying this even more than you did.

You had already come countless times, your voice was strained and your chest rose and fell so rapidly you were sure that your heart would burst at any moment. Your thighs trembled and your slick dripped down Suguru’s chin and onto the table he had you pinned down on.

He was like a wild animal, no longer the polite and charming man you first met, his eyes were wild, huge pupils the size of the moon as his tongue lapped over your clit until your eyes rolled back, mouth falling open as an intense heat washed over you yet again, your slick creamy and thick on Suguru’s tongue and he gulped and swallowed down every drop like your taste was the damned elixir of life itself. 

“So fucking good…I am nowhere near done with you, sweetness. I need more.” Suguru grumbled, his eyes dark as he looked up at you from between your thighs.

And who were you to deny a starved man?

Please do not copy, use my work, or put it through AI without my permission or I'll be really sad about it!

[blythsholland]

Birthday - Tom Blyth x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Tom Blyth x Female!reader

WC: 1.2K

Warnings: None.

Summary: It’s Tom’s birthday and you find a way to make it special for him.

AN: Happy Birthday to our Tom! Hope he’s having a blast today! Hope you all enjoy!

February 2 is a usual day for others. However, for Tom, it is a special day. The day he celebrated another year around the sun. He did not care about big celebrations; the only thing that mattered to him was spending this day with you and all his loved ones. Everything was going according to plan, but sometimes things do not go that way. Tom has work that day. Not that it did not matter; he was more than happy to be on set and do what he loved. But your work duties got in the way. And unfortunately, you were not going to be able to make it for his special day.

It was only a week ago when you had called him to tell him the news. “Hi, handsome. How is filming going?”

"Hi, my love. Everything is going great so far. We only have a few scenes left until we finish this episode." He responded with a smile on his face.

He was already in bed, tired eyes looking back at you. He was the embodiment of cozy in that moment. His hair was all over the place, still damp from the shower. A greenish hoodie hugged his torso, looking as cuddly as ever. And you wished to be there, with his arms wrapped around you, your head on his chest.

“You look so cozy right now. Wishing I was there with you. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, love. But don’t worry, only a week left until I see you.” And when you stayed quiet, he got worried.

A deep sigh escaped your lips. “About that… Work has been hectic. And now I have a big meeting on your birthday that I cannot miss. I even talked to my boss about it. I told them how I had asked for that day off. But I could not get out of it. I am so sorry.”

“Hey, look at me. I understand love. There are things we cannot control. We will celebrate when the time is right. Do not let that mind of yours tell you otherwise.”

The look on his face let you know how he was feeling. To say he was disappointed was understandable. But he knew you were going to celebrate when the time was right. What he did not know was that you had a plan. And you were going to make his birthday special.

And precisely, that was what you had done. Another talk with your boss worked in your favor. You had gotten out of the meeting but with a condition. You needed to work a few extra hours at the office. The only downside was flying on his actual birthday. But fortunately, it was a quick flight.

Tom did not know, of course. To him, he thought you were going to be working. He told you about the new birthday plans, dinner with the cast, and then some Karaoke. Being aware of said plans, you had messaged his co-star to help you with a surprise.

And so, Tom’s birthday came. And you were packed and ready to go! On your way to the airport, you decided to FaceTime him. It did not take long for him to respond.

A smile was already on his face when he was greeted by you singing Happy Birthday. “Happy Birthday to you, my love! I love you so much! Wish I could be there with you today.”

“Thank you, darling. I love you so much more. I have a small break now. That is why I am at my trailer right now. Are you in an Uber?” Curiosity took over his face. Work was a few blocks away from your shared apartment. So usually, you would walk.

“Yes, I did not have the energy to walk to work today. So, I decided on an Uber instead. A package should arrive later with presents for you. And do not give me that look. I told you I was going to send something either way.”

You talked for a few minutes until it was time to go. Being aware to end the call before reaching the airport so Tom would not notice.

“Okay, handsome. I am letting you go now since I am close to work. I will call you later. I love you.” You blew a few kisses through the camera and so did he, before hanging up.

A few hours later, you arrived. Tom’s co-star, Becca, had picked you up from the airport. And now it was evening, meaning the cast was on their way to the restaurant where Tom’s birthday dinner was going to be. You and Becca agreed on a plan, and it was time to act on it.

Arriving at the restaurant, only a few people were there. Tom was nowhere to be seen yet. Giving you time to prepare and get ready for his arrival. And soon enough, everyone was seated. Tom is sitting in the middle. And funny enough, an empty spot was next to him, as if he somehow knew you were there.

When Becca gave you the signal, that’s when you walked in. Some waiters trailed behind you. All of them singing along with Happy Birthday. Your eyes locked with Tom’s and he immediately grinned.

“Happy Birthday dear Tom, Happy Birthday to you!” You sang along as you stood beside him and placed the cake on his table.

Tom looked at you in pure awe, his blue eyes wide, a big grin on his lips. The next thing you know, he stood up, engulfing you in a big hug. A hearty laugh escaped you.

“I knew something was up when I saw the seat next to me, empty. I cannot believe you are here.” His hands caressed your cheeks as he captured your lips in his. It was a small kiss. His lips were soft and an evident smile was behind them. He sure would’ve kept kissing you but there were people in the room.

You both pulled away with a small peck. “Surprise, my love!”

Taking their seats, everyone was back to their world, talking amongst themselves.

“When did you get here?” Tom turned to you, his hands grabbing yours. He needed to feel you.

"I got here almost two hours ago. Becca picked me up. And when I called you earlier, I was on the way to the airport."

"And what about that meeting you had?”

“I pulled some strings but I will tell you everything later. Right now, I want to celebrate you.” You smile at him. He smiled back, his soft gaze on you.

“ I love you so much. Thank you for being here." He pulled you in for another small kiss until one of his cast members interrupted him.

"Alright Tom, make a wish! We want some cake!" Everyone chuckled around them.

Tom looked at everyone, glad that they were there. But most importantly, he looked at you. A smile on your face, content you were there with him.

"I don't need to make one. I already have my wish right here with me." He mentioned, pressing a kiss on your forehead. His love was there, and that was all that mattered to him.

youruser just posted a photo.

liked by tomblyth, rachelzegler, hunterschafer, and others

youruser Happy Birthday, my love! You make me the happiest! I love you❤️ @ tomblyth

↪️ tomblyth Thank you, my darling. And thank you for the beautiful surprise today. I love you more than you can imagine. ❤️

rachelzegler Happy Birthday bestie Tom!!! 🫂

↪️ tomblyth Thank you songbird! 🫶🏻

tomholland2013 Yooo, Happy Birthday! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

user my parents! Happy Birthday! 🥹

youruser added to their story.

~~~~~~~~~~

[starlightdreaming]

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader! Ch. 5!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel!

Content Warning: nothing really (just heed with previous warnings), implications of Season 1: Episode 2 though. (yay) (not proofread)

Synopsis: You spend time at the hotel, helping Charlie. :D

Further note: sorry it took so long, writers block was gnawing at me.

Chapters!: Chapter 1 ✧ Chapter 2 ✧ Chapter 3 ✧ Chapter 4 ✧ Chapter 5 (you are here) •<•)b

this chapters song is:

(optional but only recommended for the first bit of the story lol)

｡･:*:･ﾟLululuna･ﾟ:｡*:･｡

After losing you a few days ago, Heaven was fine, no one knew what happened between you and Sera- except Adam but he kept quiet, He didn’t like you after what you did to Lute, he felt rather humbled from when you stopped and dragged him back to Heaven and it pissed him off entirely.

Sera was at her desk, finishing her work in the same room that had been covered by your blood days before but she cleaned that up before anyone would discover the incident. It was all fine until-

knock, knock, knock.

“Come in.” Sera says as she put her attention away from the papers she was focusing on, she sat up straight before Emily came in, panting and disheveled, a worried look on her face, “Emily?” Sera’s body relaxed into her seat, seeing as it was only her sister and not some official business, “What is the matter dear?” Sera asked with concern as Emily ran up to her desk tossed down whatever she had in her hands, “Where’s Y/n?” Emily asked, “The stars she made around the city are hurting, I can feel their pain.”

Sera looked down at her desk to see stars Emily gathered, they chimed weakly in sorrow, Sera didn’t know what to do but she did know what to say, “Y/n is…” she pauses, trying to remember the cover up story she made for your absence, “Y/n became fallen.” Sera says, Emily shocked and surprised, “but how? she says, trying to find any reason why you would, “A few days ago, she hurt many of our people, our people,” she half lied, “so she had to go.”

Emily looked down at the weakened stars on the desk, the stars seemed to have sensed your absence in Heaven and that’s when they began to grow bleak, “I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” Emily saddened, holding up one of the stars that squeaked to her, trying to tell them it’s woes, “how come no one told me about her becoming fallen?” she asks her sister, feeling a bit hurt from being left out in the blue, “she’s was hostile and dangerous,” Sera stated, lying behind your back to keep Emily at bay, “She had to dealt with quickly and she was.” She spoke, Emily softly poking the star with a boop to comfort it, “A week ago, I started sensing their dismay and before you know it, they are slowly becoming weaker,” Emily says as she walked around the desk to get close to her sister, she gave the star to Sera to hold, to see if Sera could feel their pain.

Sera held it with both hands, observing the star, the star sensed Sera’s presence and touch, it squeaked in sorrow before it crumbled in Sera’s hands, making both the Seraphim’s wide eye in shock, “oh no, what happened?” Emily says confused, taking the dust out of Sera’s hands rather quickly, no longer feeling any consciousness of the crumbled star, “why did it just..?” Emily tries to ask, not wanting to accept its loss, she took the other stars off the desk, scared they might fall apart as well.

Sera tried to think, it was one problem after another to her, she got rid of you for her own sake, realizing now she might have just jeopardized the balance of Heaven for all her people thanks to losing you because of her own selfishness, Sera sighed before standing up out of her seat, “I don’t know, Emily,” She said, honestly for once during their entire conversation, “but what I do know is that without someone with the ability to make the stars, all the stars might fade away too, especially the ones that work and help our people on a daily basis.” She states, walking to her younger sister, holding her hands in hers, “I’ll try and figure something out for our people, okay?” She comforts her, kissing her head before going back to sit at her desk to continue to work.

Emily quietly left the office without another word, she looked at her hands, after Sera had contact with your stars, the others crumbled to nothing but dust as well. Emily couldn’t help but wonder, where are you now? and are you okay? She would never know the answers but all she can do is hope that you are.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You stared blankly in surprise after watching Alastor fight off Sir Pentious and launch him away in the air to who knows where, “well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor, best of luck, chums.” He waves off, “wait, you’re leaving?” You asked before Vaggie stepped in, “Alastor, we need your help, we need you to do your job.” She spoke before Angel added in, “we need a wall.” deadpanning.

“of course!” Alastor replied before he turned back, can’t let my project fall into disrepair already, what would the papers say?” he asked, snapping his fingers before walking away again, Angel shoving Vaggie away as he giggles, you caught Vaggie as she landed in your arms, giving you a quiet “thanks.” making Charlie smile at you both.

“Maybe we should head to the city? how about we find some new recruits? just us three!” Charlie offers, wrapping her arm around you and Vaggie, reeling you in for a hug side hug, “Sure, I’d love to help! after all, you did help me out a lot.” You smile as you stepped away from her hug, standing next to her before you three began to walk together towards the city.

“So I was thinking,” You say as you began a conversation with Charlie, “Since i’m staying at the Hotel and I can actually stop the extermination, what if we advertised protection from it?” You offered, thinking maybe it could be a good idea that would convince the public, “that’s actually quite smart.” Vaggie praised, making your heart swell in joy that she liked the idea, “really?” you ask, seeing if she meant it, “really!” Charlie exclaimed, bumping her arm into yours lightly with a smile on his face.

Upon walking into the city, you finally saw sinners and demons walking around the streets, since the last time you were here- everyone evacuated when you first arrived- you were rather excited to see so many people.

“So how are we gonna do this?” You chimed eagerly, walking backwards in front of Vaggie and Charlie, “do we go door to door or do we make an assembly?” You asked, tilting your head slightly, not noticing that some of the demons had already noticed you and began to hide.

Charlie smiled as she summoned paper with her ability, “here,” she says, handing you a flyer, “we walk up to sinners, person to person to advert their full attention! So it has everything you need to say to talk about the hotel.” She explains. You took the paper, skimming through the words to understand what you had to say or promote, “okay! I’ll go do just that!” You smiled.

“We’ll meet back up here at this spot and bring anyone we find.” Charlie says, giving Vaggie a flyer too, “Okay, I’ll be on my way then!” You say as you waved at them both before walking in your own direction, exploring the city.

You took turns and corners down the city, walking up to sinners of all sorts, tall or small, “Hi! Would you be interested to join us at the Hazbin Hotel?” You’d offer, only for them to back away or run off in fear or a hurry. It wasn’t long until people began to avoid you as a whole, feeling the same feeling you did when you first walked down these streets, “hello?” You’d call out into the empty streets once again, it wasn’t exactly the same as last time though, the people were just hiding this time.

“I mean no harm!” You shouted, slightly desperate for anyone to acknowledge your statement but no one seemed to do so, “I’m an angel- yes, but I can protect you from extermination like I have last time!” You tried to reason, only to hear a voice in the distance shout, “you made the extermination deadline shorter!” Making you falter at their claim, understanding now that they avoid and blame you for the new deadline than rather praise you for stopping the last extermination.

You sighed in defeat as you began to walk again, heading back to the regrouping spot, holding up the flyer to look at. You stared at handmade drawing on it with the big red hotel and a little Charlie on it making a small smile form on your face , ‘maybe they had luck trying to find recruits?’ You thought, trying to comfort yourself as you continued to walk.

As you walked down the empty streets, demons and sinners that were hiding around in corners and alleys were holding up their phones, taking photos and recordings of you as you walked, making you feel uneasy by yourself, you were wishing you could just fly away but your wings were still healing, perhaps you should help heal them quicker using some of your mana tonight, you thought as you hugged yourself.

You picked up your pace slightly, feeling more paranoid by yourself from the inaudible whispers, when you turned the corner, you smiled as you shouted to Charlie and waved, relieved to see the two familiar faces again, “Charlie! I’m back.” You called, stopping in front of her with a smile, “Y/n! How’d it go?” She asks, making your smile falter, “oh, uhm,” you began, looking away, “I couldn’t get anyone.” You confessed, disappointed in yourself, “Oh,” she says a little upset before brushing it off with a smile again, “well that’s alright!” She comforted, “the day has just begun so we have all day to look around the city!” she chimed, raising her hand in the air, only for the city lights to flicker and shut down, “or not…” she says, raising her arm down, the only light source being their eyes, except you, “wow you glow so pretty.” Charlie says to you, making Vaggie look at you as well, “Yeah, you light up like a star, even your eyes glow- wait are your pupils like shooting stars?” She says as she smiles, you wave off their compliments shyly, getting embarrassed from their sudden flattery remarks, “heh, yeah, it’s mostly my wings that glow though but right now they’re… ehhh..” you trailed off, looking at your bandaged wings and shrugging.

It wasn’t long until you started hearing screaming, the city power going out was now making the city panic in a frenzy, “wait, what’s going on?” You asked, now seeing demons were running rampant and started getting hostile, “well- you see-“ Charlie tries to explain before a car flipped over next to her, making her jump in fright, “when the power of the city goes out- so does the internet…” Charlie explains, taking your hand, “which is why I think it’s best if we just head back to the hotel for the day.” She says, dragging you slightly as you ran from the city, Vaggie using an angelic spear to protect you both as you followed back to the hotel.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

Unbeknownst to you, Alastor and his rival were arguing through radio and video, making the power in hell go out. In a small meeting room of the Vee’s Tower, they talked about the radio demon and Charlie Morningstar, not to mention ‘miss shooting star,’ and how she would become a great use to them, specifically you.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

You groaned, completely exhausted from the running and walking for half an hour, you three walked back in the Hotel, you hadn’t run in so long, you were completely out of it as you ‘plomped’ into the ground, in the same place as you did when you first arrived, Charlie plopping onto the sofa, tired as well. “So how’d it go?” Angel smirked, scrolling through his phone, “Not a single new recruit.” Vaggie said as she leans against the sofas arm rest, sighing.

You lift your head up from the ground, looking up to see the black kitty cleaning herself next to you, “Hey what’s her name?” You ask, hoping someone would answer, “her names Keekee, she’s the embodiment of the hotel.” Vaggie says, turning to you before hearing a knock at the door, “Keekeeee..” you called for her, scooting closer to her as her tiny paws lifted her up to walk closer to you. She rubbed her face against yours, purring, making your pupils dilate in pure joy, eyes sparkling.

You made a star and waved it around keekee, making her chase it like a red laser light. You giggled as you played with her, meanwhile Charlie got up to follow Vaggie to the door, passing by you and smiling at how comfortable you were beginning to feel in her hotel.

You sat up as you moved the star around with a swing of your finger, Keekee spinning in circles and chasing the star, you let her catch it eventually, she picked it up, jumping into your arms and purring, you stood up with Keekee in arms and turned to see the snake serpent from earlier with Charlie, you decided to talk to them to find out what’s going on, “hey Charlie, who’s the new guy?” You asked, the snake slithered behind Charlie after seeing you, “oh, he’s our new resident, Sir Pentious!” She exclaims excited before moving to the side to introduce the serpent to you, “Pentious, this is Y/n, she is also one of our staff members!” Charlie smiles as you stepped closer to Sir Pentious, “it’s nice to meet you,” you smile at him, with Keekee still in arms, “oh- and this is Keekee!” You say, lifting her up to show her to him as he waved nervously at you both, Keekee hissed at Sir Pentious and jumped out of your arms, making you frown with an “aww.”

“Okay, today, how about we start with some exercises?” Charlie asks, walking to the parlor, gathering a few of your attention, “Now! With a new resident, I think it’s important we all get to know each other, so we are going to play a little game.” Charlie says as you sat in a circle, sitting between Sir Pentious and Angel Dust, “everyone, follow me,” she says as she smiled, “my name is Charlie,” she clapped twice before kneeling down next to Vaggie, “I like to sing,” clap, clap, “and when we get to know each other, it’s the greatest thing!” She chimes, clapping twice again before gesturing her hand toward Sir Pentious, signaling it was his turn.

“My name’s Sir Pentious,” he clapped twice, nervously, “I like to build,” clap, clap, “and despite my stupid Egg Bois, I think i’m very skilled,” he clapped twice, happy about how smoothly he manages to play his part before gesturing his hand to you, signaling it was your turn now, you nervously sat up as you began, “uhh, my name is Y/n,” you clapped, slightly off beat, “I’m a former seraphim,” you clapped twice, on beat this time, “and if you can’t tell, I’m not good with rhythm.” You clapped, wanting the attention off of you from your silly act. You gestured your arm quickly to Angel who was on his phone, “this is stupid.” He deadpanned, looking up from his device, “this is not stupid,” Charlie clapped twice, walking toward Angel, “it’s just the game,” she smiled clapping again, “these two did it well so please try to do the same!” She sung, clapping twice as she leaned toward Angel.

“I am too sober for this.” He says, as he rubbed his temples, looking down, “Well, get used to it and learn how to play, this is gonna be your whole day.” Vaggie says before clapping twice, making you snicker a laugh. “Well how about we try something else?” Charlie says as she stepped back in the circle, “oh, I have an idea!!” You chimed, raising and waving your hand rather excitedly, “alright, what do you have in mind?” Charlie asks, you stand up before bringing Charlie’s hand together with your own, oblivious to Vaggie who immediately stood up for what ever reason, you used your ability to make a portion of cosmic dust into her hands, walking to do the same with the others, “what’s this for?” Charlie asked, looking at the glowing and sparkling dust in her hands, “It’s cosmic dust! I’m going to show you how to make stars.” You smiled, giving some to Sir Pentious and going to Angel, “ooh, this sounds rather interesting.” Charlie smiles, sitting down next to Vaggie, who also sat down next to her.

After giving everyone a portion of cosmic dust you were now in the lead to direct everyone, “okay so first, you want to try and shape out the dust into the form of a star as best you can.” you explained as you gave them a visual guidance with your own hands. “Next, you want to crush it together until it hardens and molds, easy right?” You smiled as you showed them the steps again, a star forming in your hands.

You giggled as you watched Sir Pentious try, only for it to explode in his face like he popped a balloon with glitter, “here, let’s try again,” you say as you summoned more dust for him, “first you shape it, then crush it like this!” You say as you guided him, thoroughly, the star wasn’t shaped perfectly but it was in his eyes as they sparkled from the new creation he had made. You walked off to help Charlie and Vaggie but you saw Charlie make it almost perfectly, “woah that’s amazing, not everyone can get it this well on their first try!” You complimented her, looking at the perfect curves on the star, “Oh, it’s not my first time, my dad used to teach me how to make them when I was younger!” She informs, making your heart stop for a moment, “oh, your dad, huh?” You pondered, “yeah, he used to always make them for some reason, he showed me how but it’s been a while since I have made one.” She said, raising the star close to her again, “that’s lovely…” you say as you stepped back, “I’m gonna go check on Angel since you got it, how about helping Vaggie?” You smiled, seeing as the dust had covered her face too.

You walked to Angel and kneeled down, “so how’s it going?” You asked. He looked up at you, seeing as he didn’t even bother to try, the dust still in his hands, “what do you think?” He says sarcastically, “well, I think you just need a little push!” You say, taking his hands toward you, shaping the star and helping him hold his hands together to mold it, “okay, now what?” He asked, not really interested, you laughed lightly, taking the star from his hands and clasping it into your own before opening your hands and giving the star back to Angel.

He looked at the star, seeing it was as the same until the star chimed, it blinked open its eyes, making Angel Dust blink in surprise, the star was now alive as it floated in Angels hand “now you get to keep it!” You say, going back to Pentious to make his star sentient as well.

You walked to Sir Pentious, who was still admiring how it glowed, you took it from him quickly, drawing his attention with a frown, giving it back to him quickly than he could say anything, his smile grew twice as much when the star squeaked in his hands, “this is such the sweetest thing.” Sir Pentious spoke before asking you, “Can it do labor?” With a serious tone, you nodded before walking away to Charlie and Vaggie, “perfect.” He said with a mischievous grin.

“So, how’s it going here?” You asked, as you kneeled down to the ground, “it’s actually going pretty well right now,” Charlie said, showing you both their stars, you smiled as you took them in your hands and admired their details, for some reason, you began to feel sentimental, you looked up at Charlie and for a second- you saw Lucifer. You blinked in surprise, shocked from your own delusions, you leaned away from them for a moment, just to see it was Charlie again, “are you alright?” Charlie asked, you recompose yourself with a quick, “yeah, yeah, sorry,” you sat up again, giving them both their stars, “I wanna try something with you, Charlie.” You requested, putting the star in her hand, “what is it?” She asked, “the star,” you pointed at it, “make it sentient.” You demanded, softly.

“How do I do that?” She asked, slightly confused at your request, “if you have powers like your father, there’s a chance you can make it come alive, just focus.” You smiled, sitting patiently as she looked at the star before closing her eyes and channeling her power through into it. The star began to emit a soft golden glow making your eyes widen in awe, that nostalgic feeling gnawing at you now and before you know it, the star chimed, shocking you completely, “oh my stars, you did it!” You squealed, leaning toward the star in her hand giggling in excitement, “I did?” She asked, surprised that you were fawning over her sentient creation, “yes! No Angel in Heaven were able to make sentient stars like me,” you say as you sat up again, “but you can!” You beamed, happy to find someone who could, “I’m just so happy a long life dream of mine became reality.” You smiled, feeling less alone in your unique abilities, “My father also taught me how do this, you know.” She smiled making you pause in surprise, “he did??” You say, surprised, “yeah, he said while Luna- uhm- you were making stars, he’d always watch you and eventually, he learned in your steps.” She smiled, making you feel mixed emotions of longing and disgust, one set of your mind feeling happy that he was strongly interested in your passions but the other felt rather insulted, like he took you own skills as his own, you didn’t know how to respond without feeling rather emotional to Charlie so you decided to avoid the subject of topic.

“That’s really nice and all,” you waved off the topic of Lucifer, “but how about we go to the next exercise of the day?” You asked, Charlie smiled and stood up, “for the next thing I want us to do is put on a little play,” she said, helping Vaggie up, “you guys wait here, I’ll go and get the others.” She smiled as she walked away from the parlor and into the lobby, leaving you four alone together. Sir Pentious was distracted, playing with the star he had made and Angel was on his phone, the star tucked in his chest fluff, leaving you and Vaggie staring at each other awkwardly, “so..” you began, “that weapon you carry around,” you pointed at Vaggie, “where’d you get it?” You asked, a little of hostility in your voice, knowing that exorcists bring harm to sinners, “Oh- I uh…” she stuttered, looking away from you, “I found it after one of the exterminations a few years back?” She shrugged, smiling nervously, making you stand up unconvinced, “I don’t wanna invade your privacy or anything but what happened to your eye?” You asked, pointing at your own, making her step back, you realized you were making her uncomfortable so you sighed, realizing your own anger, “sorry,” you apologized, “seeing you hold that weapon, really set me on edge earlier,” you explained, “I trust that you are using it to keep others safe?” You smiled, trying to sound comforting in way for her to understand, she nodded as well, “yeah, I use it to keep the others safe.” She smiled, turning to you, Charlie came back with Husk, Niffty and Alastor, stopping you from continuing your conversation, “perhaps you could explain another time?” You asked, Vaggie nodded in agreement, making you turn and walk away towards the sofa.

You sat next to Sir Pentious on the sofa as the others came along to join, Husk sat in the chair as Niffty squabbled around behind the sofa, staring deeply at Sir Pentious much to your disliking, it was rather uncomfortable, Vaggie sat next to Pentious on the other end and Alastor stood next to you. “Okay so between our two residents, i’d like them to act out this script,” Charlie said, walking towards Pentious, “You are going to play the innocent young boy and Angel,” she turned to him, “You are going to play the creepy old man.” she smiled, giving him his script, “wait, seriously?” he deadpanned, looking away from his phone to look at the paper.

“Now what you need are some outfits!” she chimed, giving Sir Pentious and Angel outfits for the little play, “just put these on and we can begin.” she said, sitting next to you after Pentious got up to put the clothes over his own.

After a while, Sir Pentious somehow had a comically large lollipop, licking the sugary treat, as Angel sighed, unenthusiastically, “oh, i’m a bad man on the streets, who never got enough hugs,” Angel began, looking at his script, “now, where’s an innocent kid I could sell crack too?” he asks, while you leaned forward in your seat, “wow, who wrote this?” Angel asks, baffled, “it’s great right?” Charlie smiled, making you look at her and Angel, “keep going!” she waved her hand downwards at him. “Hey, you,” Angel began again, pointing at Pentious before he looked back at his paper, “who, me?” Sir Pentious chimed, sparkling his eyes, “yeah, you look like a kid who could use some.. devil’s dandruff??” he questioned at the name, “oh, for fuck’s sake.” he said, rubbing a hand through his hair, “not me,” Sir Pentious said, shaking his head, “I have to go home and study!” he smiled, looking at Angel, “come on kid, it’ll make you cool like me..” Angel paused before looking up unimpressed, “the crack head.” “the only cool thing here is to say no to drugs,” Sir Pentious played on, shaking his head again, “now, if you’ll excuse me, i’m off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!” he ginned, a hand to his chest with pride, proud of his act, Charlie stood up and clapped in amusement, “oh, bravo! bravo,” she smiled, walking to Pentious, “wow, Pentious, at this rate you’ll be redeemed in no time.” she complimented, you got up as well to join the conversation only to gaze at Angel as he spoke, “I.. I’m going to bed.” He said as he walked to the stairs with a frown, sensing that something was off, you watched him, concerned.

No one seemed to notice his mood as Charlie kept praising Sir Pentious for his wonderful acting, you decided to follow Angel, worried for him, sensing you could possibly relate to his troubles and through personal experience, you always wanted a shoulder to lean on so maybe that’s what he wanted as well? At least that’s what you think, “Angel, wait,” you called for him as you ran up the stairs. He stopped to turn to you, “what is it?” He asked bluntly, making you second guess yourself, “oh- uh- I noticed you might not be too happy” you stuttered, “so I just came to ask if you’re alright.” You say, a small smile wrying on your face, he sighed, “I’m fine.” He said, crossing his arms, avoiding your gaze, “okay, okay, well- if you need anything, I’m always here to help,” you offered, hugging your arm awkwardly, “if you need any at any time of course.” you say before turning away and going back to the others, “goodnight, Angel.” You waved at him, heading back downstairs with everyone else.

“And what do you think about my performance?” Sir Pentious asked, a little way too basked in with compliments, “oh- it was good,” you smiled at him, trying to go to Charlie to ask her something, “Hey Charlie, can I have some snacks?” You ask her, wanting to head to your room for the night, “Oh, sure! they’re in the kitchen down that hallway to the left.” She smiled, pointing to the direction, “thanks, i’m gonna head to my room for the night, so goodnight.” You waved at her, walking to the kitchen, hearing her telling you goodnight as well, not even acknowledging Sir Pentious was trying to talk to you.

After gathering yourself some snacks that might interest you, you waddled up to your room and laid in your bed, playing around with the sentient stars in your room that were raining star dust on the floor, they were making a mess but you didn’t mind as you just kept making more, munching away from your snacks. Your room was eventually covered in star and cosmic dust but to you, it was just a touch of your own decor, making feel more like you were at home.

It wasn’t long until you heard a thud through the walls, you sat up curiously until you heard shouting and fighting in the distance, you got out of your bed and walked out your room, seeing Charlie and Vaggie were also out of their rooms from the noise, Vaggie held that spear again, walking to the nearby room with muffled shouting, “What’s going on?” Charlie yawned, Vaggie standing next to her as you leaned to peek in the room, seeing it was Angel Dust and Sir Pentious, “this little bitch is a traitor!” Angel shouted, holding Pentious’ arm, “preposterous! I would never betray you…” Pentious exclaimed, slithering toward you and Charlie, “you… are my best friends!” he says hugging you both, making you smile that he sees you that way.

Angel was unimpressed from the facade he put on display for you three, “uh-huh, then explain this.” he said, pushing a book away from a hidden camera, making you drop your happy demeanor to hurt and surprise, it didn’t help when Pentious began to panic and started running towards the window, yelling at the watch in his wrist, demanding an evacuation. You were somewhat upset, you spent the entire day getting to know each other and it turned out to be he only did so because he was a spy? You wanted to just throw him out but you stopped yourself from getting close when you overheard the voice on his watch, “Pentious? Wait… you were caught?!” The voice questioned, “it hasn’t even been a day!” The voice laughed, you walked up to Pentious, looming over his conversation curiously, seeing who he was talking to, “please, you’ve got to get me out of here!” Pentious pleaded as you saw the unfamiliar voice had a head shaped like a T.V. with blue toned colors, you were at a loss for words, for some reason, this situation felt horribly nostalgic, it made you feel unforgiving and aggravated.

“I can’t believe we thought you could handle even something this simple,” the voice continued, rather disappointed, “do us a favor, if they don’t kill you,” he turned to Pentious, glaring at him, blue static emitting around it the watch, “go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure.” It finished, turning off, you looked at Pentious who was tearing up in disbelief, “I… I,” he paused before turning to the other three, “just make it quick, I guess..” he said, throwing his watch away and laying on the ground, you kicked the watch away in spite of the person that said cruel words, stepping toward Pentious “gladly.” Vaggie said as she held up her spear, seemingly more upset than you, you wanted to stop her but Charlie lowered her weapon, making you halt and step back, all you wanted to do was throw him out. “Wait,” Charlie said, walking to the crying serpent, “Pentious?” Charlie called to him, holding out a hand for him, He looked up at her confused before she began, “it starts with sorry.” She smiled at him, he blinked twice before taking her hands and she lifted him up as you were caught off guard from how seemingly forgiving Charlie was. “The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts but sorry is where it starts.” She began, trying to continue Pentious’ path to redemption, “it’s just a rough start but it’s just the beginning.” Charlie comforted Pentious, you were puzzled from the situation, he had betrayed everyone’s trust and yet, Charlie was stepping first, forgiving him.

“Who could forgive a dirt bag like me?” Pentious began to cry, making you step out the room to collect your own thoughts, “I don’t deserve your amnesty.” He said, lying on the ground again, Vaggie and Angel walked in unenthusiastically and indifferent, holding out weapons, “can’t we just kill him? Shoot him and spill his blood?” They asked, cornering him with their weapons, you didn’t bother with the conversation anymore as you were lost in your own thoughts, you didn’t even notice Niffty came along and stood next to you, watching.

While you leaned on the door, lost in thought, you didn’t notice Pentious came up to you and took your hand in his, “I just wanted to apologize for how I may have hurt you.” He said, looking at you with sincerity, “and?” You asked, unconvinced of his apology, “I genuinely did enjoy making stars with you today and was hoping we could make some more some other time?” He smiled at you, making your cold attitude change, you looked away from him to think, his expression displayed of genuine and promise, making you smile somewhat, you turn back to him, moving your hands away from his and gave him a simple answer, “sure,” you say with a soft smile, “but if you pull something like this again, you can see yourself against Vaggie spear.” You threatened, putting up a cold facade, half joking. You didn’t want anyone hurt but you also didn’t want yourself to hurt either.

Charlie sighed, satisfied with Pentious and his apologies full of sincerity, “good first day,” she said, putting a hand around Vaggie’s waist, smiling, “let’s get some rest,” She says, dismissing everyone for the night, “goodnight guys.” Charlie waved at everyone who left to their rooms.

You closed the door behind you as you entered your room, your stars were floating around as they chimed in your room. You walked to your bed and jumped into it, sighing in relief to finally be in bed again, you laid there for a moment before sitting up, thinking again, Sir Pentious wasn’t the first to betray you and seeing Charlie being so forgiving made you feel some sort of spark.. and you pondered as to why. Her guidance to forgiveness made you give Sir Pentious a second chance…

So if on that fateful night..

If you had listened to Lucifer, if you had gave a second chance…

Would things be different with the two of you? Or was it him just trying to use you like your mind has told you all these years?

You didn’t have any answers to your questions as you sighed, you grabbed the snacks you had left on the other side of your bed and began to munch on them again, sort of just eating to get your mind off things. You then tried to grab one of your wings carefully, guiding the stars that floated in your room to your injured feathers and used their stardust to heal the wounds you began to unwrap, they still looked awful but the blood has dried up long ago at least, you then carefully groomed your wings one at a time, letting dust gently lay on your cuts, healing them after a bit. You spent hours of the night healing the tiniest wounds you possibly had, practicing on yourself to learn how to heal better over time as the whole process for all your wings made you stay up through the whole night, you eventually fell asleep without even knowing.

✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧

TAGLISSTTT:D

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couldn’t tag some :(

[moonhoures]

One Night Stand

🕷️ kinktober — day 2: anonymous sex / roleplay 🕸️

pairing: hoshi (svt) + reader (afab/fem)

genre: non-idol!au, fluff, smut

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, established relationship, unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, quick mention of spitting on a dick, pet name: ‘gorgeous’ (for reader), creampie, roleplay, anonymous (?) sex

word count: ~2.5k

synopsis: you and hoshi have been married for a few years now. to keep the spark between you two alive, you decide to go out and have a one night stand

a/n: writing this nearly made me a hoshi stan so i hope it effects you like it did me. enjoy <3

posted: october 2, 2023

kinktober masterlist

Clubs were in your past, or so you had thought. You couldn’t remember the last time you had been in one; it had to be well over five years by now. Dancing and drinking were things you indulged in only on occasion nowadays, rather than every weekend like you used to. Since you finished college and started a steady career, you had slowed down a bit, even more so when you got in a serious relationship with your now-husband, Soonyoung.

Your husband was far from boring or conservative, but you found a comfort in each other that mellowed you two out. A sense of ease came with the normalcy that your relationship provided you. But with that normalcy also came routine. Soonyoung was a co-owner of a dance studio in the city, and you were a higher-up at a local marketing business. He got up at five a.m. to head to the gym before opening the dance studio, and you slept in until seven a.m. to be at work for nine.

The two of you would come home anywhere between five and seven p.m. depending on how busy you were. You enjoyed reading or watching a couple episodes of whatever show you were watching. Soonyoung would come home and review the videos he had taken of his choreography that day, or he would watch other people’s choreographies on social media for inspiration. On most nights, dinner time and the hour or so right before you fell asleep were all you had to be with each other. Your sex life was fine by most standards, but both of you had noticed it had dwindled in the past year or so with your work schedules growing more and more tight.

That’s how you ended up alone at a club one Saturday night. You sat at the bar, a few sips left of your favorite drink in front of you as you people-watched. There was another girl at the opposite end of the bar, probably freshly twenty-one if you had to guess. She was pretty, and she had an equally attractive guy hitting on her. Whatever he was saying was making her laugh, and it made you smile a little, your heart growing warm. You remembered when you were her at one point, years ago. Soonyoung was the guy making you laugh back then, always the best mood maker. You missed those nights.

“Excuse me,” a voice startled you, coming from someone closely behind your shoulder. Your head swiveled to see a man around your age with blond hair and sharp, slightly-slanted, dark eyes. He was around 5’10”, towering over your seated figure. He was dressed in a simple, chic outfit, fit for a night of going out and getting laid—which you assumed was his goal. The low-cut, white tank top he wore that exposed his collarbones certainly gave that impression, “Is this seat taken?”

The man gestured to the seat directly to your right, and you shook your head, “No, go ahead.”

“Are you here by yourself?” he asked as he sat, an almost concerned look in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you admitted, taking a sip from your drink. There was a ring of water left from the glass on the counter.

“Wow,” he smiled incredulously.

“What?”

“I just don’t understand how such a beautiful woman like yourself could be at a place like this alone. Are you waiting for someone?”

You smiled, warmth flooding your cheeks from his flattery, “No, I just came for a good time.”

“And are you? Having a good time, I mean?” he asked.

If you were honest, the answer would be no. You had only been here less than twenty minutes, but the closest thing you had to “fun” so far was the DJ playing your favorite song. You had tried to do some dancing when you first got here, but it felt weird knowing you were by yourself, so you tapped out after two songs.

“No,” you bashfully confessed, averting your gaze to escape the pitiful look he was sure to give you.

“Would you like to dance?”

Why not?

You took the hand he offered you, letting him lead you to the dance floor. And for the first time in years, you let go. You danced to your heart’s content, feeling more carefree and loose than you had felt in a long time. A grin settled on your face as you danced with the man that flipped your night upside down, a wide smile on his lips as he watched you dance with him. At one point you were grinding against him, his arms circling your waist. His forehead was pressed against yours. It felt like you two were the only ones in the room, the two main characters of your own movie while the DJ orchestrated the soundtrack just for you.

“You wanna go back to my place, gorgeous?”

The question was spoken directly into your ear so you could hear over the music, but you would be lying if you said his breath fanning over your neck didn’t make you shiver. Right now you wanted nothing more than to say-

“Yes.”

A ride in his fancy car later, down familiar roads, led you to a nice house right on the outskirts of the city. The man took your hand, your fingers naturally intertwining with his as he took out his keys and smoothly got the front door open for the two of you. He didn’t bother turning any of the lights on as he continued to lead you throughout the home, swiftly moving through the main hallway until he paused. He hesitated, glancing at the closed door to his right. His eyes held a playful look in them when he gazed at you over his shoulder before opening the door and bringing you into the room.

It was a mostly unused room from what you could see, one big, wooden desk was pushed up against the wall with only a laptop, a notebook, and a few assorted pens and pencils strewn on top. Aside from the desk, there was a desk chair, a sofa, a rolled-up yoga mat, and some other small sets of work out gear.

You watched as the man carelessly pushed the notebook and writing utensils to the floor across the room. He at least had a heart to nudge the laptop to the edge of the desk and close it. Before you could say anything, he was using his hands to hoist you up onto the desk, bunching your dress up higher on your thighs as he did.

“Are you always this careless?” you asked him, giving him a pointed look.

He merely shrugged, “It’s my roommate’s stuff anyways.”

You tried to keep your composure as his hands snaked under the edge of your dress, dangerously close to your underwear, “Oh, your roommate, huh?”

“Yeah,” he said absentmindedly, “It’s just shopping lists and stuff. Don’t worry about it.”

A giggle erupted from you as he buried his lips into the space of your neck, pressing kisses and teeth along the skin. It tickled there, and it’s almost like he knew that. While he distracted you, his hands expertly peeled your underwear off, letting them fall at his feet. It wasn’t until your rear was dragged practically off the edge of the desk that you realized how close he was getting to having you. All he needed to do was get his cock out.

“You want this, right?” he asked, looking for consent before going any further. His eyes were warm and genuine meeting yours, but he was met with only a flurry of lust-clouded eyes looking back.

“I need it,” you corrected him, bringing your hand up to the back of his neck. You pulled him in for a fiery kiss, a mesh of tongue and teeth and spit that was so messy but so perfect. He hummed in surprise at the sudden force, but you felt him smile against your lips before his hands reached up to hold your face while he showered you with more kisses.

In the midst of making out, you got ahold of his belt, tugging at the buckle until the leather slipped out of it easily. He grunted into your mouth as you swiftly pulled the belt undone and unzipped his jeans. Your fingers dug into the top of his pants, pushing the denim down, but you were met with a little resistance from his hips.

He took over, pushing the pants down to his ankles before kicking them aside. He then bunched your dress up higher on your waist. Your mouth watered watching him get a grip on his erection, the tip flushed and the shaft decorated with veins. You felt yourself already clenching on nothing, and it only got worse when he let a long glob of his spit fall straight onto his dick. He caught it effortlessly, as if he practiced this multiple times a day, and then used it to lubricate himself for you.

With his hand still pumping his cock, he looked at you, tilting his head just the slightest, “Open up for me.”

You didn’t even need him to elaborate, you simply widened your knees, allowing him to take your thigh in his hand. He held you just like that as he fed the tip of his dick between your folds, a wanton moan involuntarily leaving his lips. As he continued to seat himself inside of you, you held back, biting your lip.

“God, you’re so tight,” he said, tilting his head back before looking back down where you two met. He watched himself slowly pull out before bucking his hips forward again. The desk rattled the tiniest bit, and he loved the sound it made. Some primal part of him wanted to fuck you until the desk broke, but the rational, clear-headed part kept him cool.

His thrusts grew in pace and accuracy, aiming to find your g-spot with every stroke. It only took a few tries before he found it, your eyes nearly rolling back and your jaw going slightly slack when he did. A satisfied grin appeared on his lips, and he continued to thrust in that specific pattern that he pioneered. He held you at the waist, keeping you in the position he wanted as he dove between your hips again and again. The desk was shoved against the wall with every movement, sure to make marks on the pale structure, but neither of you cared enough. It can always be repainted.

“Gonna cum for me, gorgeous? Huh?” he spoke through bated breaths, absolutely eating up the way moans were freely cascading from your mouth as if you couldn’t stop them even if you wanted to. As if he had fucked you into a babbling idiot, “You wanted me to show you a good time. Is this not good enough?”

His voice was patronizing but also as sweet as honey. His hand reached up to cup your cheek, urging you to look him in the eye. But it was difficult to look at him steadily when he was pounding into you the way he was, making your entire body bounce.

“N-no,” you managed to say, “So good. Perfect.”

“Perfect,” he repeated with a short laugh, “That’s right.”

Wood creaked underneath you and thumped against the wall behind you, but the man fucking you still grabbed your thighs, hoisting them up a little. The kisses on your shoulder lightened up as he focused on getting you to finish. He was going to ask if you were close, but when your breath quickened and your lower back arched, he knew he had thirty seconds (tops) to prepare for your orgasm to hit. He kept the same pace and force he had, letting it coax the climax out of you. His pride swelled as he felt you clench on him, multiple times, while you came. Warmth and arousal flooded your core, leaving his cock wet and dripping when he pulled out. A mix of your clear fluid and his creamy seed slathered on him.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, his palm soothing over the skin of your thigh, from your knee down to your hip. He was trying to loosen your legs up so that you could relax, “How was that?”

“You definitely know how to show a girl a good time,” you mumbled, making him laugh.

“Yeah, well, it’s a one-time thing for me, sorry to disappoint.”

You sighed, “I knew it was too good to be true.”

He laughed some more, placing a kiss on your temple before landing a gentle slap on the side of your rear, “Let’s go clean up. Then you’re out of here in the morning.”

You chuckled, letting him help you down onto your feet. The two of you quickly made your way to the bedroom, and he picked out clothes for the both of you to wear before you headed into the shower. After cleaning up, you two got comfortable in the large bed, and he didn’t shy away from spooning with you like you expected him to.

When you woke up the next morning, the space beside you was empty, but the smell of breakfast being cooked wafted down the hall to you. You groaned as you stretched your limbs out, peeling the sheets back so you could get out of bed. Your feet shuffled against the floor all the way to the kitchen where you saw your husband standing at the stove. A towel was draped over his shoulder while he prodded at the bottom of some pancakes with a spatula. You tried to stifle a laugh when you saw his unruly bedhead, but a small squeak escaped you, notifying him of your appearance.

Soonyoung’s face lit up, “Good morning, gorgeous! Sleep well?”

“Sure did,” you smiled, walking up to him so you could give him a morning kiss on his cheek, “You?”

“Like a baby,” he smirked, flipping the pancakes over to reveal perfectly golden, fluffy discs, “Oh, and uh, sorry about the spare room. I’ll clean that up in a bit.”

You rolled your eyes, but your grin remained, “Yeah, just be thankful you didn’t knock over my laptop, or we would have had an issue.”

After a few moments of comfortable silence, only broken by the sound of you gathering plates and cups for you two, Soonyoung spoke up again, “Did you have fun last night?”

“Yeah, I did,” you felt your cheeks grow warm under his glance, recalling what took place in the club and the spare room, “It felt a little weird, but in a really good way.”

“Yeah? How so?” he asked, setting the pancakes on a plate and grabbing a fork for you.

“It felt like we were in college,” you said, leaning your cheek against his arm as you side-hugged him, “It felt like I fell in love with you all over again.”

“Good, that was the point,” he smiled, kissing your temple. He added, “And I did too. Fall in love with you all over again. We should do that again some time.”

“Yeah, we should.”

— taglist #1

@jaylaxies @xiaoting999 @kookthief @zaddywilk @wonrangwoo @pedriswrld @ikykleeknowww @odisdad @abby-grace @jungwonloveer @pinklemonadeflav @celestialplatinum @luvkpopp @nlklstan @kisses4denji @jenos-eye-smiles @a-l-i-y-a @channiesprincess @bekah931215 @mrsdacherry @heerinnie @fairygirl18 @cinnikoi @im-ur-calico-cat @unlikelysublimekryptonite & i’ll tag my fav hoshi stans @hoshiseon and @hoshologies 🖤

[cambrinkisbae]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩needy✩°｡⋆˚⁺

kate martin x fem!reader

themes :

-fluff (if you squint your eyes)

-smut☺️

warnings :

-sexual content

-18+

it was the night that kate and her team would come back from the away game they had two days ago. me and kate weren't always in touch 24/7 while she was away which was actual hell for the both of us. we would only call once or twice a day and could only text a little bit throughout the trip. i spent most of my time taking care of our dog, macy. going on walks more than usual, going to dog parks things like that. since i didn't have my human version of a golden retriever i spent most of my time with our border collie.

every time i got a call from kate i would drop everything to answer. i would jump into my bed and kick my feet while she rambled on about how good she did and i of course would praise her since i watch all the games on tv. words can't even describe how much i need to hear her voice.

this away game was to indiana and kate claimed that there weren't many views she found enticing but she still sent me as many sky pictures as she could. she always try's to share wherever she's going with me. she's caring like that.

i got a call from kate this morning saying that she's finishing her packing. she even facetimed so that she could show me how organized her suitcase was. (it was not organized at all.) we called all the way until she had to get back on the road to get to the airport. the second she got in the car i heard taylor swift playing from the car speakers. enchanted to be specific.

"is that my favorite?" i squeal as i here the beginning of my favorite song ever.

"i forced them to play it baby" kate whispered back into her phone. "alright hun we are headed to the airport now i'll text you once i'm on the plane. i love you"

"i love you too" the words leave my mouth while an immediate feeling of loneliness lingered on my tongue. i hung up the phone and rolled over to see macy sitting next to me with her tongue out. she quickly got riled up as i poked at her floppy tongue.

we played around the apartment for a little while before i sat down to catch my breath. the amount of times i picked up my phone to check if kate texted or called was uncountable. i set my phone down after seeing that she hadn't reached out yet.

my eyes began to get heavier and as i was about to fall asleep i heard macy whining from across the apartment. without hesitation, i stood up and rushed over to where macy was which happened to be in me and kate's room. there my dog was rummaging through a small pile of kate's sweatshirts. i crouched down to the floor to pick up one of the jackets. i remembered that before kate left she asked me to wash this exact pile so thank you macy for reminding me.

after washing the sweatshirts i couldn't help but slip on one of them. it was my favorite after all. a tan-ish fleece sweater that felt perfect around my body. once the laundry was done i took the sweater and began hanging the others up in kate's closet.

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a couple hours had passed and kate already sent me a couple texts letting me know where she was and how she's doing. i was still in the sweater, cuddled up on the couch watching friends with macys head under my elbow. it honestly seemed like macy was more interested in the show than i was. i couldn't get kate out of my head. everytime my phone vibrated i would jump up to grab it off of my charger and see if my girlfriend texted me.

most away games are somewhat like this but this one felt different. as if the girls were out of state for more than a couple days. this felt like weeks without my girl. and let's just say that my attachment issues have gotten worse and worse everytime kate left.

after a couple more episodes of friends i finally got a text from kate saying that she was getting off the plane in 1 hour then it would be a 2 hour drive. that meant that it was time to make dinner. before kate even left i decided on making lobster bisque for the first time. it just felt right.

before i started cooking i obviously had to play music so i turned my cooking playlist which is literally just taylor swift songs but who cares. i threw on a pale yellow apron and began to get my ingredients out.

the actual time it took to cook the meal was only around a hour but i had to run to the store to get heavy cream. along with the bisque i made some asparagus and prepared a couple drinks.

by the time i finsihed setting everything up on our table, i got the text from kate saying she was only 15 minutes away. for finishing touches i lit a candle and put on noah kahan to play in the backround.

just before kate pulled into the drive way i rushed to my room and switched into some light blue lingerie. i put my shorts on along with that same tan sweater. i came out of the room just in time to catch kate as she walked in.

the first thing i saw when my girlfriend walked through the door was the largest smile ever. my body immediately latched onto kate's chest wrapping my legs around her hips and wrapping my arms around her back. the sound of her laughter in real life was like the biggest breath of fresh air going through my lungs.

i dug my nose into the crook between her neck and shoulder. her chin rested on my back and i felt her laughs run down my spine sending even more serotonin through my veins.

"i missed you so much" my voice was muffled under her skin but by her squeezing me tighter i knew she still heard me.

"i did too princess" kate's hands moved down to under my thighs to lift me off of her.

i flailed my hand to the right to show her the dinner i had set up for us. her hands went over her mouth to cover her absolute awe. she giggled against her palm and pulled me into another hug placing a sloppy kiss on my lips.

"you did this for me?" she said as she made her way to the dining table. i nodded back eagerly while swaying my hips back and forth.

there were so many things we talked about during dinner it's hard to list it all. half of the conversations were me telling her how good she did during her game and that i was thinking about her the entire time she was gone. i noticed her beginning to blush when the lace bra strap peeked through her own sweater.

"i just noticed are you....wearing my sweater?" laughed followed out of her mouth after she swallowed a spoonful of the food.

"yes. yes i am" i said confidently while holding my chin in the air.

------------------------------------------------------------

after dinner was finished we decided to go back to our room to watch a movie. we decided on watching my favorite, lady bird. once the movie started playing i could feel kates hand wandering up my shorts closer and closer to my panties. before anything else happened she lifted my leg on top of hers and left it to rest there for almost halfway through the movie.

throughout the movie i could still feel her fingers teasing with the hem of my (her) sweater and pulling at the drawstring of my shorts. small whines left my mouth everytime i felt her warm hands against my bare skin. a soft shudder left my mouth when her hand finally wrapped around the back of my hips, pulling me ontop of her lap. the movie was out of the picture now.

kate leaned against the headboard as i straddled her hips. her hands had a strong grip on my waist once i found a good position to sit in. without speaking i inched my lips closer towards kate's and gently pressed a few kisses against her lips.

the kiss began to deepen as kate's hands moved between my ass and thighs. i felt her fingernails dig into my soft skin causing me to gasp against her mouth. she slowly shoved her tongue through my lips and intertwined it with my own tongue.

as the kiss got sloppier i began to grind my hips against kate's jeans. the rough material peeked through my thin shorts just enough to send soft moans up my throat. kate's grip on my waist for tighter ad she moved me at a faster pace against her.

i moved my lips down to her jawline, taking my time to kiss every inch of her. my lips left a trail of saliva as i made my way down to the collar of her jacket.

"take this off for me baby" i whispered to kate, letting my lips graze over her ear.

without hesitation she tore her jacket off along with the tank top underneath, leaving her in a just a black nika sports bra and her jeans.

i continued kissing down to her chest, leaving dark marks across her collarbones and neck. kate let out a whine once i began to suck on the sweet spot at her chest.

"baby please...." kate groaned out.

her voice became louder as i made my way down to her abs still making sure to leave kisses in as many places as i could.

once i reached her belt i didn't wait any longer. i couldn't. i unbuckled her belt while kissing around her hips. kate lifted her hips up enough for me to slide her jeans off and toss them to the floor. i pushed myself back up to her lips, placing kisses on and around her lips as i slowly took of her boxers. one last kiss was pressed against her lips before i moved back down to her thighs.

i got a grip on her lower thighs and pulled her to the edge of the bed so that she was sitting up. just to tease her, i left a trail of kisses all the way from her knees to her bare pussy.

as i got closer i used one of my hands to gently spread her legs enough for me to fit my mouth against her cunt. i slowly circled my tongue around her clit, taking my time just how kate likes.

her hands quickly were tangled in my hair as i sped up my pace. my lips molded around kate's clit, sucking in all of her. eventually i felt kates hips buck against my face making a smirk grow on my lips.

"fuck" she tried to stay quiet but covering her mouth with her hand or a pillow.

my tongue lapped through her folds quickly causing kate to let out groans that couldn't be muffled. i continued sucking around her pussy until her thighs were wrapped around my ears making it harder to hear her beautiful voice. i didn't mind though.

"fuck right there" i heard her moan out.

kate's heels slightly lifted up off of the floor once i forced my tongue deeper in her. i finally curled my tongue in just the right place to make her cum on my lips. her thighs loosened their grip revealing her screaming my name.

i pulled my mouth off of her cunt and moved back up her lips. kate's hands were still entangled in my hair but eventually moved back to my hips. i crawled ontop of kate's lap back into a straddling position. our lips continued to melt together while i gently began grinding down on her hips again. she pulled away for a second to push her self back against the headboard again.

once we were back at our first position, kate wrapped her hand around my back scooting my closet to her chest. i felt her fingers fiddling with the sweater that i had on. without saying a word i took of the sweater revealing the light blue bra i had put on for her before she got here.

her hands immediately gravitated to my tits massaging them in a circular motion through the lace. she surprisingly did not ask to take my bra off so she began to move her hands closer to my thighs that were still covered in a pair of shorts.

"may i?" kate teased at the edge of my shorts.

i nodded enough for her to slip off my shorts and throw them in a pile across the room. now that i was left in only my matching bra and panties kate placed her hand right against my clothed pussy. she used three of her fingers to apply pressure against my entire cunt.

a loud whine left my mouth followed by strings of curse words. kate took this as a sign to slip off my soaked panties and toss them away from us.

"my turn then right?" kate cocked her head to the side right before dipping two fingers in my sopping wet entrance. her fingers began pumping in and out at a slower pace. it just wasn't enough for me. i started to move my hips enough to ride her fingers sending an electric feeling through my skin.

my head tilted back at kate hit my g spot. a couple tears began to fall down my face now that kate started speeding up her fingers. she slowly inserted a third finger causing my back to arch.

i tried my best to not look into kate's eyes knowing that she was probably smirking at how much noise i was making.

soon enough kate drove her fingers deep enough to make me cum for the first time. i road out my orgasm and began to work at my next one. i looked into kate's eyes for a split second triggering her to press her lips against mine. since her hands were busy fucking me and holding moving my hips at a steady pace, i moved my hands up to her jawline twisting her head to fit her nose right next to mine. like a puzzle piece.

fuck i missed this.