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rrxnjun · 9 months

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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him.

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude.

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all.

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would.

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe.

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…”

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier.

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose.

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one.

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence.

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–”

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now– as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does.

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?”

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help.

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice.

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car.

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack.

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this?

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening.

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place.

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind.

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain.

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different.

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike.

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile.

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest.

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about.

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning.

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now.

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body.

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface.

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft.

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?”

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you.

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more.

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough.

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed?

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him.

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time.

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair.

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him.

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again.

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else.

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge.

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression.

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence. “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

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scarletwinterxx · 4 months

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sunshine and midnight rain - mark lee scenario

hello! so i'm back and yes i'm still on my mark lee brain rot era😅 it's like whenever i see this guy i completely forget about the rest of male population haha anyways I hope you like this one🤍

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

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"Why are you so mad right now?"

"Because I asked you to do one thing and you didn't" Mark says, still avoiding your gaze.

This was not how you envisioned your morning, when you woke up Mark's side of the bed was already empty. When you went to look for him he was gone, no note, no text of his possible whereabouts. And when he got back, he was clearly and very obviously mad at you.

"I got home just fine" you say with your arms out. Mark still hasn't look at you and it's bugging you. You follow him out the living room. He's going round and round, trying to tidy the place just to avoid having a conversation with you.

"Mark, can you please look at me" you tell him, this made him stop and look over at you. A clear look of disappointment on his face, "I swear I was going to call you but the girls and I were talking and drinking. It slipped my mind, I already booked a cab home when I remembered"

"You went home, way past midnight alone and drunk. Do you know dangerous that is?"

"But I got home safe"

"And what if you didn't? What if something happened? God forbid I get upset about that, I was worried I'm sorry. Is that what you want to hear?"

You say nothing for a while, thinking of something to say back. You really are at fault here, you should be the one saying sorry right now.

"I'm sorry, I should've called" you tell him, now avoiding his eyes just as you feel the tears fill yours. Mark sighs, crossing the room until he's right in front of you. He hooks his finger under your chin, making you look at him.

"I'm mad because I care. I don't trust the world when it comes to you, I just want you to be safe always. I'm not going to stop you living your best life, but I want to know you're safe" he whispers, anger already disappearing.

He wipes the few tears that escaped, cradling your face between his hands.

"Are you still mad?" you mumble, this made Mark smile and shake his head.

"We're okay. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you"

"And I'm sorry for making you worry"

He kisses your forehead before pulling you in for a hug, "I don't like arguing with you, but I'd do it in every universe as long as we make up and end up like this. I love you, always. Okay?"

You hug him tighter, answering him without saying any words.

Just like that you're okay again.

Bless this universe for giving you such an understanding, loving, mature man to love. You'd be stupid to ever let him go which is why no matter what argument, the two of you always make sure to solve it together.

Mark never lets you go to sleep upset, he'll ask you what's wrong or if he's done anything to upset you. At first it was hard for you to admit your feelings that easily, you learned that you don't like being vulnerable, you don't like sharing your true feelings. You bottle it up. But ever since you started dating Mark, all of that changed.

He's there to listen, even when words aren't being spoken. He knows when to give you space, he knows when to chase after you and hold you tight. He knows you in a way you didn't want to know yourself, you used to be scared of these feeling but not anymore.

It's obvious who's the serious one and the jokester in you and Mark's relationship. The best thing about it is the fact that your boyfriend, no matter how serious he is, will always play along.

"Mark, you busy?" you ask, walking inside the office to see him on his computer

He looks over at you with a smile, "No, what's up?"

"I was wondering..." you say while walking towards him, he waits for you to continue. You got to where he was sitting, smiling cheekily at your boyfriend

He knows you're up to something, he grabs you by the waist sitting you squarely on his lap.

"Do you know how to whistle?"

"Do I know how to whistle?" he asks back,

"Yea like you know, like this" you pout, but before you can whistle Mark closes the gap between the two of you. Kissing you gently, he grabs the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Suddenly you forgot what you were doing in the first place.

After a few minutes of exchanging kisses, you broke apart. Looking dazed and in love, "Hey! I was suppose to do that! Did you know I was going to do that?" you asked

"Maybe" he mumbles, looking at you with pure adoration

"I'll pretend I didn't know" he adds, making you roll your eyes.

"You just want to make out"

"You're not wrong there, now come here I need your kisses"

The first time it happened, Mark thought it really was just coincidence.

You just started to decorate around the house, the tree was halfway done and a few other decorations scattered here and there. He was just walking to the kitchen doorway when suddenly you stop him

"What?" your boyfriend blinks back at you confused, instead of answering him you just point up making Mark look at where you're pointing. There hanging by the doorway was a mistletoe.

"When did you put that there?" he asks with a smile, finding the tradition cute. Even cuter when you're looking at him with the biggest smile, ready to receive your kiss

"I just put it up today, now where's my kiss" you say, pursing your lips at him making Mark chuckle. He grabs you by the waist, leaning down to kiss you. It was short but sweet, enough to leave you smiling like an idiot.

A few months ago, the two of you finally decided to move in together. It's been years since you got together, and most times you spend your nights together whether his place or yours. At some point you realized that it would make more sense to just move in together, so you did.

"Love, did you do laundry last time?" you asked him, walking inside your shared bedroom to see him resting on the bed

"I did"

"Oh thanks, love the fabric softener you used. Now all my clothes smells like you" you smile at him, jumping on the bed to cuddle him. Immediately he hugs you close.

"Then will you stop stealing of my clothes now?" he asks

"Negative, I like your hoodies better"

He chuckles at your answer, "Knew it"

"What were you doing?"

"Just checking my phone, I wanted to order this pan for making omelet. Should we get one?"

You love how his sentence now say "we" or "our" instead of his and yours. Of course you still respect each other's boundaries and individuality, but on things like deciding what to paint your home or what furniture to buy or groceries to stock up on it's always the two of you.

"Should we? If we're using it then why not, I love eggs for breakfast" you tell him, looking at his phone screen to check

"I know, that's why I'm getting it. Okay, I'll order it now then" you watch him as he do so.

"This is fun" you mumble

"Hm?"

"This, buying things for our place. I like it" you smile

"Me too"

"Do you want to marry me?"

Your question took him by surprise. Not because he didn't want to marry you, it's just when he thinks of that big question he's the one doing the asking and not the other way around.

"Mark? Sorry forget I said anything" you mumble, moving to rest your head on the pillow instead

"Remember when we first started dating or way before that?" he asks you

"Huh?"

"I was shy, I wasn't as confident as the other guys. People think I'm aloof and too serious. You never thought of me that way, you entered in my life like you were meant to be there all along and maybe you are. Scratch that, I know you are. You're meant to be in my life. When I knew I was falling in love with you I didn't know how to say it without scaring you away, so I did it slowly. I did it in a way that won't overwhelm you. Because to you it doesn't have to be a loud confession or a grand gesture. i loved you they way i knew you would understand. i loved you the way i know how. i just loved you. I know you, your mind is a wonder. You doubt, you question and you worry your pretty mind to no ends. I didn’t want to disrupt that"

By now you're face to face again, he's speaking so softly like he's afraid you'll float away of he's too loud.

"You said I was your peace, and back then that was more than enough for me. By some miracle, you fell in love with me too. And now we're here. So to answer your question, yes I want to marry you. One day I want to get down on one knee and ask you that question, I'm still working on being the man worthy to ask that" he continues, and you soak each and every word he speaks like he's already saying his vows.

Because you know, you know he is a man of words. If Mark says it, then it's true. He will never say such things to deceive you.

"Do you have any more questions for me, pretty girl?" he whispers, waiting for you to speak

You shake your head, scooting until you're on his side again. Tucking yourself as close to him as you can.

He tilts your head so you're looking at him, leaning down to kiss you on your nose, your cheeks and last your lips.

"I'll love you over and over again, just like when we met"

#fic #nct #story #tag #nct dream #nct 127 #nct mark lee #nct scenario #nct oneshot #nct au #nct fluff #mark lee imagine #mark lee au #mark lee boyfriend #mark lee oneshot #mark lee fluff

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ooshu · 1 year

Text

when mark was six, he told you he loved you.

you never really grasped what ‘love’ meant during those early, innocent times. your parents say they love you whenever you bid goodbyes going to school. your grandma used to tell you she loves you because you’ve been a good kid. so you told him “i love you, too!” with a grin plastered on your face, and mark felt his face go warm, a slightly pink flush on both of his cheeks.

when mark was eight, he said he wanted to be a writer.

he fully pledged it in his middle school yearbook a year before. an author, he wrote. you challenged him a bit. “write something for me then!”. young mark, full of determination, handed you a piece of paper at the end of the class. Roses are reds, Violets are Blue, …… I guess …… I love you ! - it was unfinished. cue the excessive punctuation marks and misplaced capitalization of letters, too. it was valentine’s day. and when the whole class knew mark loved you, he never got away with the teasing. you still had no idea what it meant, though.

when mark was twelve, “i’m gonna be famous!”, he shouted to the whole world.

you saw him pick up the guitar that he borrowed from his dad. he flicked a few strings. “congratulations, mark!”, you said. “thanks.”, replied. “what’s wrong?”, you saw how his smile slowly turned into a bit of a frown. “i’m going away,” he said. you patted him on the shoulder, “my mom said we’re all meant to, mark.”. oh, you thought, how early was it for you both to know the concept of separation. how unfortunate it is, sometimes, to be needing to grow up early.

when mark was sixteen, he took a good glance of a glimpse of his future.

flashing lights, cheering crowds, fans following him around—the fame he has worked for four years—the dog days, the sacrifices, the longing for familiarity in a city of uncertainties and foreign—are finally going to pay off. his cheeks hurt from smiling. he was more focused than ever, like a hungry animal preying for success. “i always knew you were made for somewhere else”, you thought while seeing the news around home that mark is on his way to making his name.

but as years passed by like a blink of an eye, mark finally had the chance to rest, to go somewhere. but he didn’t know where else to go. from living in toronto, to vancouver, to some few years somewhere in queens, and now, in unfamiliar cities he wake up to, he never had the chance to sit still and think of this: he never knew what home felt like.

when mark was nineteen, he made his way to his old house.

relatives greeted him. old smiles and familiar warmth overwhelmed mark. oh, how lovely it is to grasp a sense of familiarity. trains and 156 buses, his smile beamed when he reminisced middle school. “remember when…”, it was all his tongue could say. laughter filled the dining area where he and his siblings often had their silly whip cream-face-smearing fight, but his joy slightly faltered when he passed by an abandoned house, just five blocks away from his house. an abandoned, almost small-framed bicycle sits on the front porch. it was the bicycle you would ride whenever mark knocks at your very doorstep to go to the nearest town and buy potato chips.

he remembers when he was thirteen and packing for his flight the next day, he asked you: “do you think we’d forget each other?”

“i think you would.”, you replied.

“i would never.” mark reassured you, but you’ve heard stories of your mom and how her college best friend suddenly fell apart. nothing in particular, it’s just life and how we go separate ways—it’s inevitable. people say i love yous to their loved ones, reassuring them the warmth and proximity will stay, but as the sun rises, for mark, there will be great emptiness as he is forced to remove himself and start anew.

“why do you think so?”

“because i love you.”

and for you, love has changed its definition instantly. it was a time when a great consciousness arise. you understood how he truly meant all these years. you said it back as you also meant every single syllable. love, for mark, was meant to be fireworks and giggles. but by the time he boarded the plane, you kissed his cheek, his first love started and ended on the very same day.

now, mark, twenty-three, almost has it all.

he has been writing for years. he isn’t still an author, as he has told you, but sure what he writes comes along with the melodies he produces with his co-artists. he has been contented with his lifestyle, going to different countries, and working with unpredictable schedules. sure, he has established a name in the industry, working like a mad dog, but something still bothers him inside, something missing, lacking.

tonight, he writes in a local coffee shop as he waits for his manager to arrive, a practice that keeps his feet on the ground. scribbles, blurbs, drafts of lyrics, all embedded in his journal—and after a while of connecting the dots to construct who he really is and where he would position himself in the vast ocean of possibilities, he may have finally struck something that hits closer to his definition of home.

i just wanted you to know, mark writes to you, who have always been his muse through and through, to tell you that i have been happy during our years together, that i have never been so happy despite what i have gone through and achieved, and that i already know i will never be so happy again.

and as mark closes his messy, worn-out black journal, the bells rang as someone entered the door.

mark watches you walk in and towards the counter. he would have so many questions as to why you are here and when you have arrived. but reserve it for later because as you find a table you could sit in, you locked your eyes with his—so familiar, so distinct, so… inviting. almost home.

lost for words, mark stared at you. blinking like a fool. he must be dreaming.

but the doubts of the fantasy dissipated.

“hey, stranger.”, you said. “do you think we still know each other?”

a smile so warm, so loving, proximity that is so close—these are things he has lost over the years, now sitting in front of him, embodied by the epitome of his long lost love.

and mark always firmly believed in this, and today, he was never betrayed by his beloved: fate.

home, all along—he thought, is wherever i’m with you.

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yeoosaangg · 6 months

Text

Love Me Like You Do || Kinktober - Day 16

pairing ▸ mark lee × f!reader

now playing ▸ love me like you do - ellie goulding

⤷ ❝i'll let you set the pace 'cause i'm not thinking straight.❞

genre ▸ college au, secret relationship, smut

warnings ▸ anal, praise, marking, fingering, choking, rough sex

--------

Mark Lee.

Everyone knows him as the quiet guy who always has his head stuck in a book, which is why not many people approach him.

They believe he's on the shy side, always awkwardly bowing when someone happens to bump into him.

But they're not blind. His glasses and studious tendencies doesn't take away the fact that he's insanely hot. He has plenty of admirers, but none of them matter.

You do.

No one on campus knows that you two are dating.

No one knows the Mark that comes home to you every night, the different person he becomes.

He's outgoing and confident, wears casual clothes, and rides a motorcycle.

He treats you like the most delicate flower in the world. He worships your existence, treating you like a literal goddess.

And in bed?

He's there for your pleasure, not his. He radiates such dominant charisma, but let's you take the reigns if it makes you happy.

He does whatever you ask him to, no questions asked.

And you love him just as much as he loves you.

And right now, he stands in front of you in nothing but a towel that sits just below his waist line. He smirks down at you, knowing the effect he has on you.

You both maintain the intense eye contact, neither of you wanting to back down.

He takes that as a sign to slowly walk over to you. His hand wraps around your ankle, pulling you towards him so he can hover above you.

He leans down to kiss you passionately, knee slotting between your legs just enough to keep you down. He undresses you, discarding his towel along with your clothes.

Mark: I love seeing you under me, baby. It drives me fucking crazy.

His lips brush against your ear, breath tickling you as he whispers sweet nothings to you.

Y/n: Can we try something new?

Mark: Of course we can. What'd you have in mind, love?

Your body melts as he trails kisses down your body until he gets to your sweet spot. Your back arches when he sucks lightly against your most sensitive area.

Y/n: Can we try anal?

Mark licks the hickey and nuzzles his nose against it.

Mark: I'll get you prepped then. Turn around for me, yeah?

He stands up, going to the dresser you specifically bought for your toys and he takes out some lubricant.

You settle down on all fours, ass up so he can easily work you open. He squeezes the cold liquid all over his fingers and your ass, carefully rimming your hole.

You moan once his finger slides in, pumping slowly so you can get used to the foreign feeling. His other hand trails along your body to distract you.

Mark: You're doing great, love.

You bite down on the bed sheet as he adds another finger. He pauses his movements until you give him the go-ahead to move.

The sheet is long forgotten as your moans echo off the walls, his hand making you feel like you're on fire. The new feeling of being stretched in a different way feels like it's your first time.

Y/n: Please. Please give me more.

He kisses your ass cheek, adding a third finger. He watches you fall against the mattress, eyes glazing over in pure bliss.

His knuckles disappear inside your tight hole. He gets an idea and turns his hand so that his pinky gives your cunt its much needed attention.

The knot in your stomach gets tighter until you can't hold it anymore and cum all over the place.

He pumps his cock a few times before lining up against your entrance.

Mark: I'll go slow, baby. Use the safe word if it's too much.

You nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. He pushes inside, moaning at the tighter feeling. You have never felt such an intense stretch before, but fuck.

Y/n: So big. Won't fit.

Mark: Don't worry, baby. We'll make it fit, okay?

You purr, arching your back more for your boyfriend's fingers to dig into the dips of your back.

He bottoms out, holding you in place to avoid hurting you. He pushes you further into the mattress, running his hands along your body for comfort.

Y/n: M-Move.

Mark: You sure?

Y/n: Yes. Fuck, p-please move.

He slowly draws his hips back, slamming back into you. You scream, clutching at the sheets with all the force you could muster.

He pounds into your tight ass, one hand cupping around your tit. He pulls at your nipple harshly, loving the sound of your broken moans.

He does not stop until you cum again.

Mark: So good for me, princess.

His thrusts slow down, but only so he can flip you around and fuck you in missionary position. He kisses you deeply as he slams his hips against your ass.

His balls bounce off your skin, adding to his pleasure.

He sits up, using one hand to choke you while the other gets shoved into your aching cunt.

His fingers work their magic, stimulating you a lot more than you had expected this night to go.

Your legs start to shake when another hard orgasm washes over you. Mark pulls his fingers and cock out, only for him to slam his cock into your gummy walls.

Y/n: Oh, fuck!

Mark: Wanna cum in you.

You spread your legs wider, giving him more room to dick you down. He eventually cums deep inside you, breathing heavily from how good he feels.

Mark: God, I love you.

Y/n: I love you, Markie.

---

a/n: got this idea off the clock app... i need serious help. thanks for reading ‹𝟹

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tenswrld · 1 year

Text

soup!

mark lee x reader, super fluffy bc this is my literal bf and he makes me want to cry 25/8

a/n: mark brainrot has been so bad lately the delusions are getting to me

“where do you wanna go for lunch today?” you asked your boyfriend, who was currently mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

it was mark’s day off from his tour, leaving you and him to explore chicago on your own. like the lovely significant other you are, you decided to treat mark out for lunch as a way to reward him for all the hard work that he’s been doing.

“uhm,” he thought for a second before letting out an awkward laugh. “i don’t really know what’s around here.”

you thought about taking him somewhere fancy; somewhere where you could proudly treat your boyfriend to expensive ass food (even if it did leave you and your wallet crying by the end of the night) because, to you, mark deserved nothing but the absolute best. thus, you began to search for some of the more famous spots in chicago. a curious hum from your lover quickly interrupted you and caught your attention.

“johnny was talking about this one place he used to go to all the time,” he trailed off, trying to remember the name. “it’s, like, a bakery...?”

“a bakery...” you mumbled to yourself, smiling at the idea. “that would be cute!”

“i think it was called panera...?” mark sat up, ready to call johnny to confirm if his memory was correct. “yeah, i’m pretty sure that’s what it was called.”

you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “you want to go to panera?”

mark smiled at the sound of your laughter and turned to look at you. “yeah, i’m down! i want to see what johnny was raving about.”

“it’s not all that fancy though, just a warning,” you replied. not that there was anything wrong with panera, but you wanted to treat mark to something...better than panera.

mark shrugged, moving a stray piece of hair out of your eyes. “i don’t care about that. as long as i get to spend time with you, i can eat anything.”

flushed, you looked away and stood up, pulling mark up with you. “alright! panera it is!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the two of you stood aside as you browsed the menu together. you hummed nostalgically with a soft smile on your face as you took in the atmosphere.

“you know, i used to come to panera a lot when i was in high school, too,” you told your boyfriend (who was meticulously observing his different options of soup).

at this, mark turned his head to you. “really? that’s dope, i didn’t know that.” the excitement in his voice made you chuckle, finding your boyfriend extremely endearing. “okay, should i get the chicken soup, or the broccoli cheddar? what vibe are we feeling today?”

after a moment, you leaned into his shoulder. “how about the chicken soup? we can share that and i can get us a pizza to share too.”

mark nodded and placed a soft kiss on your head, silently agreeing to your proposal. he let out a sudden gasp, catching you off guard. “woah, wait, you can get your soup in a bread bowl?” he looked at you as if to get your opinion and was only met with a fond smile. he took that as a way of you saying you liked the idea as much as he did. “dude, let’s do that.”

“i’ll order, you can find us a place to sit.” you gently pushed mark, determined to pay for your guys’ meal today.

mark frowned, keeping close to your side. “what? no, no, i can order, you should go sit.”

you placed your hands on mark’s shoulders, stopping him in his place. “let me treat you today, okay? you deserve it.” after mark made no effort to move, you pleaded one more time. “please? let me do this for you.”

although reluctant, mark eventually gave into you. he placed a quick peck on your cheek before turning around to go find a table for you two. “i’m treating us to dessert after this, then.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“oh my god.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at the way that mark marveled at the food in front of him. he happily took photos of his bread bowl (and the pizza, but he was more excited about the bread bowl), and insisted on taking cute photos of you despite your constant whining about not being photogenic enough. you also took photos of mark, though he was too focused on the soup to notice that you were.

mark dipped his spoon into the soup and raised it towards you, urging you to take the first bite (slurp ??). “here, taste it.”

leaning over the table, you hummed happily at the taste of the warm soup. maybe it was because of the cold weather in chicago, but the soup tasted especially good (or, maybe it was because you were eating it with the person you loved the most). “wow, that’s really good!”

mark took a napkin and wiped at a small drop of soup that dripped onto your chin before bringing the spoon to his mouth as well. leaning back in his seat, mark sighed in content, very clearly enjoying the soup. “damn,” he said after a second. “that’s some good soup. i see why you and johnny would come here all the time.”

“i think i only ever got the mac n cheese so, this is pretty new for me too,” you admitted, laughing at the look of disbelief on your boyfriend’s face.

“all those choices and you chose mac n cheese?” he teased you before feeding you another spoonful of soup.

“hey, the mac n cheese is really good, okay? and i was, like, sixteen.” you pouted at him.

“yeah, sixteen and clearly missing out on some good soup.” mark laughed at you, wincing after you gently kicked him under the table. “maybe we’ll have to come back sometime so you can treat me to this famous mac n cheese.”

smiling and reaching over to gently poke at his free hand, you agreed. “i think panera dates should be our thing whenever we come to the u.s., hm?”

mark shrugged. “that would be cool. i would eat anywhere with you, you know.” he took your hand in his and played with your fingers as he stared fondly at you.

you scrunched up your nose, feigning disgust. “you’re so corny.” mark only let out a soft chuckle and squeezed your hand that was still held in his.

“thanks for lunch today. you didn’t have to do that,” he thanked you softly, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“i wanted to treat you out today. you’ve been working really hard, it’s the least that i could do,” you confessed to him. “you’re doing great, you know? i don’t think i tell you that enough.”

dipping his head down, mark let out small noises of embarrassment. “don’t say things like that, you’re gonna make me blush.” he tried to fight the smile that was slowly growing on his face, but it was no use. “thank you, y/n. i love you.”

you pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles, your heart swelling at his words. “i love you too. now let’s fuck up this food!”

#i am down so bad #everyday i suffer #mark my beloved #just one chance PLEASE #mark lee #mark lee fluff #mark lee x reader #mark lee oneshot #mark lee drabbles #nct mark #nct 127 #nct dream #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct fluff #nct oneshot #lee minhyung

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haechwrites · 1 year

Text

wingwoman - L.MK

mark x fem!reader ft. jaemin

synopsis: mark has trouble pulling girls. he also has trouble understanding girls. this makes sense when he asks the best friend of his crush for help when it's blatantly obvious she's actually in love with him.

wc: ~9.5k

warnings: none??? unrequited love. mark is clueless. reader is a coward hehe. based in college. i say fem!reader bc they use she/her pronouns and refer to her as a "wingwoman," but honestly can be read as gender neutral?? ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN FIRST PERSON, so ignore mistakes pls

A/N: my first published work woot woot i've had this written and sitting for so long. i love unrequited love and angst. this isn't that angsty but maybe if i get sad enough, i can write an angstier one! okay byeee

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“You like him, don’t you?”

The mayo from your sandwich made a cartoonish splat onto the plate at the end of his question. Your head snapped over, looking at Jaemin incredulously for his unexpected inquiry. You were in the middle of a lovely meal with Mark in between classes. When Jaemin sat down to join halfway, You didn’t expect him to have an agenda in mind. You placed your sandwich down and checked to see how far Mark had gotten before you could speak. He had lost a round of rock, paper, scissors and was sent to buy drinks.

“What are you talking about?” You cleared your throat of whatever was left of your lunch. You knew exactly who and what he was talking about but you prayed it was something else. You didn’t want to have this discussion. Things could be laid out on this table that you're not yet ready to process, and not with Jaemin of all people. It’s not like you and Jaemin aren’t close. You're just both the same kind of person, the type of person who doesn’t like to express their feelings. So it was odd that Jaemin was even asking about your personal life.

“Mark. You like him, right?“ He raised a single eyebrow, tempting you to deny his claim. How could he admit your feelings so easily when it’s something you've been struggling to grasp for a month?

You wiped the crumbs off your hands onto your jeans, and maybe some nervous sweat too.

“No. I mean. He likes Jenn.” You stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, trying hard to make it seem like that fact didn’t bother you. You automatically looked down and start picking at the crumbs.

Jaemin hummed, “I asked if you like him. Not who he likes. I know who he likes.”

The last statement felt like a stab in the chest, because, of course, you do too. Mark likes your roommate, your friend since high school. That was the only reason you were sitting at this table, the only reason you were able to have this conversation with one of his best friends. If he didn’t reach out to you during your Anatomy class together about helping him get with your friend, you wouldn’t even be here in this situation right now. At first, you were honestly offended by his request. However, after seeing the charm he very much lacked, you understood why he was desperate. It was a pitiful acceptance, but you wish you never agreed. Being reminded of your purpose in his life always tore you apart because Jaemin’s assumption is right; you do like Mark.

Maybe that slight bitterness in your heart is what pushed you to confess to Jaemin, one of Mark’s friends and not the man himself. You took another quick glance at Mark to see him fumbling with his change at the vending machine to get you a drink. You couldn’t help but smile fondly at him and quickly realize how screwed you are. Jaemin followed your eyes and smiled to himself knowing he was right. It wasn’t difficult to figure out. The only person that didn’t know was Mark, and maybe Jenn.

You sighed and turned back to him, a month of feelings bursting at your lips.

“Okay, fine. I like Mark. But I swear to you, I’m not going to do anything. It literally doesn’t matter. He likes Jenn and I’m helping him pursue Jenn. I know I’m an idiot for getting my feelings tangled up in all of this, but I really care for Mark, so I’m not gonna let something as stupid as this get in the way of that. I’m gonna keep helping him and if I get to continue being his friend after they get together, great! But if our relation-friendship ends there, then that’s also fine. It-“ You hesitated, looking at the pity and confusion on Jaemin’s face. “It’s completely fine,” You said quieter, the weight of your ramble finally hitting you. You didn’t realize how pathetic this whole situation was till your thoughts left your head and were actually voiced.

Jaemin made a sound of disapproval, getting ready to speak before a can of Milkis was placed in front of your plate.

“What’d I miss?” Mark asked, swiftly sliding his body onto the bench. “I cleaned the top already,” He says, tapping your drink.

You smiled with gratitude, before quickly snapping back into wing woman mode. Like it was second nature.

“Jenn wants to catch a movie this weekend, wanna come? Maybe bring Jeno or Jaemin,” your eyes flickered to the man that just watched you word-vomit your inner thoughts. “So it’s less sus, you know?”

Mark’s eyes lit up immediately, the smile on his face lifting his cheekbones to match the pure joy in his eyes. The green in you only faltered your smile slightly. When has he ever smiled like that for me?, you thought.

“Jaem, what do you say? Wanna come?” Mark asked.

Jaemin looked at you as you avoided his eyes. He took a big bite of his food before saying, “I’d rather not.”

Mark instantly pouted and slapped Jaemin’s arms multiple times, whining that it’d be fun. Jaemin continued taking bites of his food, unfazed by Mark’s slaps and silently refusing. You giggled at the sight, but something in your stomach felt uneasy now that Jaemin knows.

Everyone continued finishing up their meals and Mark asked you about this weekend and what movies Jenn likes. You took a sip of your drink and let the carbonation burn your throat. Hopefully, your abrupt confession helps you in this predicament. Having at least one person know would be good, right?

You peered up at Jaemin and his eyes were trained strictly on you, sending goosebumps down your arms.

Maybe not.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A month has passed since your confession to Jaemin and two and a half months have passed since Operation Jump Jenn began — name courtesy of Haechan, objectively not his best work but you got outvoted. Ever since you started hanging out with Mark and helping out with his love life situation, your friend groups began to merge and you all grew extremely close. It feels like you're known the boys since birth, despite meeting only this year. Due to this and because everyone is all in on Operation Jump Jenn, a camping trip was planned together — more like “glamping” because tents were swapped for a nice cabin. The goal was to get Mark and Jenn some alone time whether it be on a hike or by the campfire. Haechan said they should go as far as making them share a bed, but he quickly earned a smack in the head from Renjun.

The crew had just arrived at the cabin this morning and scurried into the rooms they self-assigned, or should you say argued over, in the car ride up. You obviously got put with Jenn and your friend, Sumin, while the boys fought over who could sleep with Renjun. Surprisingly, Jeno came out victorious.

“Okay, I’m done! I’m gonna go help the boys figure out groceries,” Jenn got up and brushed the dust off her pants.

“Oh, you’ll need backup,” Sumin laughed and trailed after her, leaving you alone in your shared room.

You took your time unpacking just because driving partially took a lot out of you. The bed was looking extra nap-able. Your body soreness also probably came from craning your neck so much to look at Mark and Jenn in the backseat. It was torturous, but you couldn’t look away. It was like self-sabotage.

A light knock on the door caught your attention and you told the person to come in. It was Mark.

Not even trying to hide the immediate smile on your face, you got up off the floor.

“Hey, did you unpack already?”

“Haechan owes me for something, so I made him do it for me.” He sighs happily before plopping onto the bed, basking in his zero responsibilities.

You scoffed and smacked his thigh, “You’re wearing your outside clothes!” You log rolled him over to his side but he quickly positioned himself back.

“All we did was drive,” he whined. “I think our clothes should be relatively clean.” He patted the empty spot next to him. You obviously obliged.

You leaned over to him and jokingly sniffed, “Yeah, but you smell a little.”

Mark mocked offense and grabbed you by the shoulders to pull you into a tight hug, laughing evilly at your cries.

“Then get a gooood smell,” He trapped you in, shaking you around. You pretended to cough on his odor and he gasped. Mark pulled back to look at your face and you were already laughing.

He gave a light flick to your forehead, “Jerk.”

You simply smiled, shoving him away from you before the butterflies in your stomach could get even worse. You had to take a deep breath just to calm down and remind yourself of your place.

“When we have to grocery shop later, you should volunteer with Jenn. She’s already making the list so I’m sure she’ll wanna take over the shopping part as well.” With your eyes trained on the ceiling, the advice just flowed naturally out of you like always. You laid there expecting him to jump up at the idea.

Mark propped his head up with his elbow and looked at you from the side, “I’m kinda tired.”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re stupid. You gotta take every opportunity you can get. Jenn’s a little tough to break through and get to know. She’s shy, remember?” You poked his nose and he scrunched at you.

“True,” he pouted. Mark reached over to grab a strand that came loose from your bun after he practically strangled you. He gently brushed it aside and you felt your whole body freeze. Two attacks in one day? Your poor heart.

You cleared your throat and shot up. You grabbed his hand and yanked him with you, to which he instantly groaned.

“C’monnn, let’s goooo,” you pleaded, shaking his arm. “I don’t have the energy to pull you up.”

He used both hands to grab your arm and pulled himself up, leaving you both face to face. You instantly took a step back, frazzled once again. Mark was never good at hiding his facial expressions. It was what made getting close to him so easy. You felt like you could read his mind, and sometimes you dive deeper than he expects. He looked at you a little confused by your distance and you simply gave his arm a squeeze, not wanting to look too suspicious. He smiled.

Mark naturally wrapped his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer and walked the two of you out of the room, “Let’s gooo.”

If he could read you the way you read him, you're sure he’d push you away.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Scrubbing hard at the dishes, you cursed myself for being so bad at rock, paper, scissors. Yes, it’s a game of luck, but you must have the worst luck in the world to always lose to Lee Haechan. You could hear him snickering at the dining table behind you, smacking on the marshmallows they were about to roast.

“Haechan! Stop snacking and bring those outside,” Jaemin snapped, coming in to bring in more dishes from dinner.

“Yessir!” Haechan mocked a salute and scrambled outside to where Mark and Jenn were setting up the campfire. Jeno and Sumin were looking for more firewood and Renjun went to take a post-dinner nap.

Jaemin bumped you with his hip, scooting you over as he started rinsing your dishes.

“You’re helping?” you asked, shocked that someone would willingly wash dishes.

“Should I stop?” He smiles, threatening to let go of the plate.

“No! No. No. I appreciate the help.”

Jaemin laughs, “That’s what I thought.”

You both stand there quietly washing what felt like millions of dishes. Spending time alone with Jaemin was never uncomfortable, but there were always moments when your mind gets in the way and you think about what he knows.

It’s like he can read your thoughts because he suddenly asks, “Is this trip gonna be okay for you?“

Suddenly hyper-focused on the crust of the pan, you didn’t dare make eye contact with him.

“What do you mean?”

Jaemin takes the pan from you and starts scrubbing himself. You instantly occupy yourself with another dish.

He sighs, “I mean, usually when we set the two up, we’re never actually there to witness how it goes. It must suck to watch them laugh and be happy like that.” His words burn.

You hiss at the realization and almost drop the cup you were gripping. Jaemin tuts and grabs the cup from your hand. His hand on your wrist is tight, begging you to look up. You chew on your inner cheek, hesitantly lifting your eyes to match his.

“It’s only the first day, but we have a whole week. If you ever need to get away from all of this, you find me, okay?” The brown in his eyes is warm and inviting, and his facial structures soften when he’s talking to you. He’s chewing on his bottom lip and you could see how nervous he is for you. You slowly release his grip from your wrist and you hold his hand lightly.

“Thank you, Jaem. But I’ll be okay. I’ve made it this far,” You meekly smile. Your eyes darted to the side of his face to look outside the window where Jenn is throwing marshmallows up in the air for Mark to catch. He looks so happy. Maybe even in love. And that look wasn’t for you. The ache in your chest returns and you hope Jaemin doesn’t catch on. You don’t know what it is that made you so sensitive in this moment, but your vision blurred slightly with tears.

“You sure about that?” He teases, wiping the tear that managed to slip.

“You’re gonna get soap in my eyes,” you scowl, but laugh at how pathetic you're being. He gently blows the suds off your face and you could feel them being replaced with a peachy rose tint on your cheeks.

“C’mon, let’s hurry. They’re gonna eat all the marshmallows and your terrible scrubbing is slowing me down. Jesus, Y/N, I’m finding so many missed food spots.”

Your jaw dropped and you scrubbed harder, “It’s dark in here and my arms are tired from driving! Leave me alone.”

Jaemin looks at you from his peripheral to see you practically scrubbing the varnish off the plates and he smiles. He hopes you'll be okay, but also a part of him hopes you'll seek comfort in him if needed. Was that too much or too selfish to wish for?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

For the rest of the glamping days, you're unintentionally glued to Jaemin’s side. Every activity planned for this trip ended up with you being paired up with him: paddle boarding, hiking, cliff jumping, grilling, and so on. Every partner assignment was decided by rock, paper, scissors, and somehow the two of you kept doing the same one. Some would say it's fate, but Jaemin would call it cheating. He was lucky that Renjun hasn’t caught him changing his hands last minute to copy yours. Truth be told, Jeno noticed a while ago, but decided to let his best friend have his fun.

The universe likes to play its games too. And that’s how you ended up being partnered with Mark for canoeing. You almost fought it till you saw how happy Jenn was to canoe with Sumin. Mark simply shrugged and grabbed two life vests for you guys.

He offered to strap it in for you and you were looking at everything but his face. Unfortunately, you could still feel the steady rhythm of his breath catching up to the racing of your heart.

“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages,” Mark said to break the ice. It was true though. Your wing woman duties on this trip were basically minimal as the group joined efforts to get the two together at all costs. It took a lot off of you and you were happily distracted by Jaemin.

“I bet you got a lot of talking done with Jenn though.” you gave him a closed mouth smile, trying to find the positives of your distance, for his sake and yours.

Mark looked at you with anything but happiness. Shouldn’t he be happy? At this rate, Jenn and he are close to making it official.

“I just missed you,” Mark stated like he was releasing air from his lungs. You had your shield up and you were ready to combat it with another sentence about how well his love life is looking. But you saw the look in his eyes and the way his body looked defeated. You tightened the strap on his life jacket and patted over his heart.

“I missed you too,” you replied. It was something you weren't letting yourself admit this entire week. Like fireworks, a smile instantly erupted on his face and he grabbed your hands from his straps, giving your palm a swift kiss before dragging you to your boat.

Your insides screamed at his gesture and your legs failed to move as you stumbled after him. It was like you were in a Mark drought and he was the single drop of water you needed to beg for more.

The remaining of the afternoon was spent paddling in circles and laughing till your throats were dry at your horrible rowing skills. An oar was even lost in the process. Mark also clumsily fell in while trying to reach for a duck. Being the good person you are, you jumped in after him so he wasn’t alone. Admittedly, it looked more fun than sitting in one place on the canoe.

Mark cackled at the life jacket forcing you to bob up and down in the water, making you look like a little kid drowning.

“You look so stupid,” he says in the middle of laughing, accidentally swallowing some lake water.

“Jerk!” you splashed him and he’s sputtering, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. His jaw drops when he realized what you did and he looks at you so seriously. Your hands are ready to splash him again and the water fight begins. You're hurling water toward each other for a good five minutes before he concedes, whining about potentially losing a contact.

You swim towards him, grabbing his face to check his eyes. His contacts were very clearly still intact. You're about to call him out for lying when he suddenly spits water onto your face.

“Marcus Lee.” you threaten him, still holding onto his face. Your eyes are shut in disgust.

You wipe the water off your face and open your eyes to see him grinning evilly.

“That’s not even my name,” Mark giggles.

“‘Mark Lee’ doesn’t have the same impact,” you shrug, moving your hands to his shoulders to stay afloat.

He smiles fondly, holding onto your elbows lightly. The feeling in his chest felt as good as the sun resting on his backside. The warmth of the sunset reflected off your lake-soaked cheeks, plump from laughing, and something stirred in his chest. Something a little too similar to the feeling he was forcing when he was with Jenn. It was the feeling Mark had wished he felt when with her.

Scared of this new emotion, he let go of you and scrambled to climb back into the canoe. He quickly mumbled about wanting to get back before it got dark. You floated there a little confused by his urgency, but followed suit anyways. He tossed you a towel and out of nowhere gained the skills of a professional rower and got you back to the shore in no time. Without even looking back, he trudged towards the cabin, leaving you with the setting sun, cold and confused.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“So he just left you there?” Renjun asks, scrolling through Netflix to pick a show to watch. It was just the two of you since the rest were too tired from today’s activities.

“Mhmm. It was so weird.”

“I can check up on him in the morning since he’s asleep now. But he probably just had the shits. You know Mark.” He finally settled on an episode of New Girl.

You took a sip of your hot cocoa and pondered the chances. “Mmm true.”

Renjun laughs at your agreement and grabbed a blanket for the both of you.

“But you both had fun, right?” He asks, not really paying attention to the show at all. It seemed like he just wanted to talk and you were fine with that.

“Yeah, I mean we didn’t spend much time together this trip which is pretty rare for us. But you know, The Operation takes priority,” you took another sip to clear the knot that suddenly formed in your throat.

“You probably missed him a loooot, huh?” Renjun hid his smirk behind the mug.

“A normal amount… what are you grabbing at?“ you narrowed your eyes at him and leaned back, surveying his body language. He looked like he was holding something in.

“Oh my god,” he bursts. “Can you just tell me already?” He sets his cup down and grabs your forearms.

“Huh? Tell you what?” Where is this coming from?, you think. You set your cup down too out of precaution.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know you like him, so I need you to confirm it so we can talk freely,” he waved his hands in the air like he was a therapist trying to get you to spill. You almost laughed at how ridiculous he looked.

Your hand slapped against his mouth and you did a quick look around the room. No peeping heads.

“How did you figure it out?“ you whisper-screamed. You could feel the very foundation of Mark's and your friendship crumble.

“Imph phnot phstupidmph,” He muffles out.

“Huh?” You question stupidly and he glares at you, sharply pointing at your hand. “Oh, duh.”

Renjun clears his throat, “I said I’m not stupid. And considering how much time Jaemin has been spending with you, I’m guessing he knows too.” You look at the wall behind his head, feeling guilty.

“I don’t know why you would tell him before me though. We were lab buddies first before you met Jaemin. Not fair, Y/N.” He huffs, crossing his arms. If the security of your love life wasn’t falling apart at this very moment, you would’ve found him endearing.

“Do you think anyone else has figured it out?” you ask.

“No, I’m like the only smart one,” Renjun scoffs.

“Wrong!” A voice booms from the hallway. Haechan walks in yawning, fully decked out in a matching set of pajamas. He takes a swig from Renjun’s hot cocoa, earning him a smack.

He sits down to your right and smiles, “I found out like 2 weeks after you and Mark met.”

“Damn, you found out before Jaemin did,” You admitted. Not even shocked or worried that a third person knows, You sat there dumbfounded.

“Yesss!” Haechan pumps the air and proceeds to take another sip but this time from your cup. You tsked and gave him a flick before grabbing your mug back.

“Okay, so now what?” Renjun asks like there was more to this.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you mean ‘now what’?”

Haechan doesn’t even look surprised but Renjun is staring at you like you offended him.

“You’re just… not gonna do anything? Ignore your feelings?” Haechan nodded along with Renjun’s questioning. The angel and the devil on your shoulders, or should I say devil and devil.

“Renjunie, that’s what I’ve been doing, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. I’m the wing woman. I’d be betraying my duty.” You said this like a mantra, a mantra you're been telling yourself for the past few months.

“What about the duty to your heart?”

“Gross,” Haechan chimes in. It earned a scrunch of your nose and a weird look.

“I regretted it the minute I said it,” Renjun slouches defeatedly.

“Look, I appreciate the concern. Jaemin gives me these talks all the time, and trust me, it won’t change my mind. I love Mark too much to get in the way of his happiness. And all for what? Because I have these feelings? That’s ridiculous.”

Haechan and Renjun looked at you with even more pity in their eyes, which is more than you usually see from Jaemin.

“What?”

“It’s worse than I thought,” Haechan whispers.

“You love him.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On the morning of the last day, you notice Mark is avoiding you at all costs. He’s even avoiding Jenn. Everyone was packing up the car and he completely took over, not letting anyone touch the luggage or the car. You tugged Renjun to the side to ask what was up and he simply shrugged, saying he doesn’t know what was going on.

When you all make your first pitstop, You and Jaemin are buying snacks for the group. You see Mark staying in the driver’s seat, claiming that he can go the whole way. Both of you give each other concerned looks and Jaemin says he has an idea.

His idea ended up being you switching places with Haechan to sit in the passenger seat, much to his complaints about getting car sick. He does not get motion sick, by the way, especially as the man who has ridden all the rides at Six Flags not once, but twice in one day.

The only time Mark looks at you is to see you climb into the passenger seat. From then on, his grip on the wheel is tight and his eyes are trained on the road. You even offer to do directions for him, but he immediately declines. His cold behavior leaves a weird feeling blooming in your chest and you almost feel sick, regretting the decision to buy a gas station hot dog.

A few hours passed and Haechan and Renjun are knocked out from their endless karaoke and the rest of them followed suit after finally getting some peace and quiet.

“Hey,” you whisper to Mark. “Mark.”

His eyebrows perk up, maybe not expecting you to initiate conversation. “What’s up?”

“Are you good?”

He nervously twists his hands around the wheel. “Yeah, dude. I’m fine.”

You looked him up and down, not believing him at all. “Then are we good?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” He says with a hint of offense. You grip the sleeves of your hoodie a little tighter. He’s never talked to you this way.

“I-I don’t know. You just seem a little off today, that’s all.” You half confessed. He’s more than just a little off. His behavior was making the air tense and you wished Jaemin didn’t convince you to take the front seat. You chose to stare out the window instead.

“Y/N, there’s nothing wrong. I’m just missing my space, okay?” Mark says sternly, giving you the affirmative sign to leave him alone. Tears instantly prick the corner of your eyes at his tone. Mark has always been a cheerful presence in your life so for these words to be spat at you like this… It felt horrible. It felt like his bad mood was your fault. You tug the hood of your jacket up further and you turned away from him even more, not wanting to make it worse.

“Sounds good,” you managed to mutter, popping in your headphones so you didn’t have to hear any more from him.

Mark spares a glance at you and his eyes instantly soften. Something in his chest twists at the way you're turned away from him, in his favorite hoodie. Jaemin is looking from the seat behind; he’s been watching. He sighs and reminds himself to switch places with you at the next pitstop.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Finals season hits the minute you all get back from your trip and the only time your group meets up is to study in the library. Mark, who is usually a huge advocate for group studies, is suddenly a solo studier. You haven’t seen him in a week and when you sought out Jenn, she reports the same thing.

Thankfully and unfortunately, your finals were extra rough this semester and you essentially had no time to worry about him. Occasionally, you'd send him texts with your class notes to check up on him, but all you'd get in response is a simple thumbs up.

Jaemin decided to change the scenery and study at a cafe near campus. He had two more exams left, but you only had one so you were definitely more relaxed than he was. You ordered a slice of cake and a pastry and munched away as he tackled his workload. You occasionally fed him bites here and there.

An hour into the study session, the food settled in your stomach as well as the repressed feelings about Mark. You twirled your straw as you stared at Jaemin typing, trying to decide if now was a good time to bother him.

“You’re staring,” He says, continuing to type.

“Yup.” you say, popping your lips.

“Is my handsomeness not blinding?” He smirks, eyes still on his screen. He wiggles his eyebrows teasingly.

You gag and shove a spoon of cake into his mouth. “Nevermind, no more talking. I don’t wanna throw up the food I paid for.”

He laughs and finally lifts his hands off the keyboard. Jaemin takes a sip of his deadly concoction with eight shots of espresso to wash down the cake and raises his eyebrows.

“You can ask, you know?”

You roll your lips in and tap at the table, suddenly too shy to ask.

“Okay, then I’ll just assume and answer. Mark is… weird. Mark’s not really acting like himself right now if I’m being completely honest,” Jaemin admits. He’s lazily poking his ice with the straw, waiting to see your reaction.

“Hmm,” you pretend to ponder his words, suddenly struck with worry. Even though you're still hurt by his actions from the ride back and his sudden desire to avoid you for a week, you can’t help but care. It was almost annoying how much you want to text him, despite his lack of interest in you. It annoyed Jaemin more.

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

Your eyes perked up, shocked by Jaemin’s change in tone.

“He dismissed you on the car ride back. He’s ignored you this entire week. He doesn’t even say thank you when you send him your notes. Why-” He shakes his head, aggravated. “Why are you still worrying about him?”

“Jaemin… you know why.”

“Listen, I love Mark like a brother. But he doesn’t deserve you. You’ve done so much for him with this whole Jenn situation, it’s just not fair to you.” Jaemin says this so seriously, you feel frozen in my spot. You’ve probably heard these words leave his mouth a million times, but today it felt different. His words weighed differently.

“I don’t know what else to do, Jaemin. This is the only thing I can do. It’s the only thing I know how to do.”

“He’s not even appreciative of it!” Jaemin pushes further, growing more desperate to have you hear his words, praying they stick this time. “You don’t need to put yourself through this for his sake.”

You're flattening a piece of the cake with a fork as you actually consider his words. With Mark distancing himself, your mind feels a little clearer, more room for thoughts.

“I wouldn’t be friends with him in the first place if I didn’t agree to be his wing woman. It’s why I’m in his life in the first place. I’m… I’m too scared to risk it.”

Jaemin decides he’s had enough and shuts his laptop, too angry to work. “You’re an idiot if you think he’s only keeping you around because you’re close to Jenn. Why do you value yourself so little? Do you think we’re just friends because we’re both in Operation Jump Jenn? No, Y/N. We’re friends because I like you.”

Jaemin sucks in his breath, at his poor word choice; he looks like he’s in pain. If only she knew I meant it differently, he thinks to himself.

He continues, “So why would Mark, after all this time, not think of you as more than just a wing woman?”

The area around your eyes sting and you could feel yourself fighting back tears. Your lips tremble, choking back a sob. Jaemin’s eyes widen and his hands twitch wanting to hold yours, but he pulls himself back.

“I still can’t tell him. Things won’t be the same.”

The look of pity Jaemin usually gives you is replaced by frustration, and maybe some disappointment. You fidget under his stare, tightly wrapping your arms around your waist. He shakes his head.

“Mark doesn’t deserve you if he leaves you after finding out how you feel. You really think he’d do that? Do you think that lowly of him?” He rests his hands on the table and he looks at you, urging you to try to defend yourself. But his words sink deeper. He’s right, do you really think that lowly of Mark?

You sighed in defeat and in exhaustion. You were at a loss for words, having your thoughts psychoanalyzed in front of you. You don’t think lowly of Mark at all. Shouldn’t you have more faith in him? In us?, you think.

“Why do you have to be so smart?” you glare at Jaemin. He immediately relaxes, smiling in return. He was staring at you for so long, trying to figure out what was going on inside your brain. He was on the edge of his seat, terrified that you'd drop him for his candor. Or that you caught on to his little confession.

He shrugs in response, “Pre-med.”

“You’re annoying,” you laugh, giving his foot a kick. Jaemin laughs with you and opens up his laptop again. You both work for another minute before he stops to look up at you again.

“Hey. I’m sorry if I went too far.” Instead of grabbing your hand, he traps one of your legs with his two. He swings it back and forth with a pout on his face, begging for you two to be okay.

“No, no, I needed that. Thank you for looking out for me.” Your chest warms, knowing that you have someone as lovely as Na Jaemin on your side.

You lean forward and pinch his cheek, “How’d I get so lucky with a friend like you?”

His face falters for a second before snapping back into a smile. He playfully licks your hand and you pull it back in disgust.

“You got me for life unfortunately.”

“Mmm, unfortunately,” you fake pout.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After your talk with Jaemin, it took you embarrassingly two days to figure out what to do next. Mark still isn’t talking to you and as much as it pains you, it’s actually given you the space to think. You finally decided to do something you should’ve done months ago.

“Do you like Mark?”

Jenn chokes on her sandwich and you scramble to hand her a glass of water, patting her shoulder lightly. Maybe you should’ve timed that better.

“Huh?” There was something swirling around in Jenn’s eyes. Confusion. Pure confusion. It was not what you expected at all.

“I don’t know, do you like Mark?” you repeated, bracing yourself for her answer.

She looked at you and did a quick once over. Jenn realized you were serious and brushed the crumbs off her hands before settling in her lap.

“Mark’s cool. He talks a lot. The only reason we hang or talk is because of you and the boys. That’s kind of what it feels like for me and Mark. I don’t know… sometimes his behavior towards me feels forced. I thought he was just acting this way because I’m your best friend.” She took a sip, looking up and thinking about what more she could say about Mark Lee.

“Wait. What do you mean by that?” The pit in your stomach appears. Did she figure out The Operation?

“Isn’t he just getting on good terms with me because he likes you? I don’t like him, by the way.” Jenn let those words flow out of her mouth as if it was the only thing to say. Like this is how she felt for months.

“Huh?!” It was your turn to be confused. Never in your friendship with Mark have you considered your feelings being returned. You also never expected it to be implied by the person Mark is literally crushing on.

“Wait. Was that not obvious? Every time Mark and I hung out, it just felt… like he was looking for something in me. It was strange. I just assumed it was because he wanted to look good in your eyes like ‘Hey! I’m buddy buddy with the bestie of my crush!’” She waved her fork in the air as she spoke and finally stabbed it into a potato wedge for a bite.

“This is insane.” you sat there, appetite gone. Jenn never reciprocated feelings towards Mark. Jenn thought Mark liked me?, you thought. It felt like your efforts and feelings from the past few months were tumbling down. You were a step away from a spiral.

“What’s insane is that you thought I liked Mark. Don’t you like him?”

You suddenly started choking on your spit and Jenn was quick to hand you a glass of water.

For the rest of the meal, you explained everything to Jenn. From Mark approaching you in class, Haechan coming up with the horrible operation name (to which she gagged), and Jaemin’s talk with you from the other day. She was taken completely by surprise. To be fair, Jenn has always been pretty and has had people of all genders try their hand at flirting with her. She’s always been numb to it, so it’s not surprising that Mark and his loser-like charm didn’t come across as romantic. You use the word ‘loser’ in the nicest way.

At the end of it all, Jenn is furious.

“I can’t believe he’s ignoring you. And for no reason? After all you did for him? Albeit, it didn’t work, and I hope you never try to set anyone else up with me ever again.” At that, you gave her a guilty smile and offered to buy her boba.

“Deal. Anyways, that’s fucking ridiculous. What’s his problem?”

“I don’t know,” you said, picking at your fries. “He asked for space so I’m just gonna give it to him.”

Jenn nods and you avoid her pity stares.

“Jenn… I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I lose him, even as a friend. I-I really like him and I’m so so scared. Like the only two ways I can see this going is him continuing to ignore me and we drift or… or I listen to Jaemin and be honest with him about how I feel. And then he decides to stop being friends with me.”

“Okay, the second one is bullshit. You know Mark wouldn’t do that. He’d freak out, yeah, but he wouldn’t cut you off for that.” She scolds you, before taking another bite of your fries.

“I know. I knooow. But it’s still a fear I have. I’m telling you I’d rather be his friend and make a permanent home in this one sided love affair if it means I can still be in his life. That’s how insane my mind is.” You plop your head in your hands and let out what felt like a four-month-long repressed groan.

“Y/N. You are probably the worst person for yourself.” Jenn clicks her teeth before hand-feeding you a fry, which you sadly munch on.

You sigh, “Yeah…”

“Yeah,” Jenn winces, before pulling you in for a hug.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark Lee is spiraling.

“No because when she looked at me when we were out on that lake, I swear my heart was on steroids. I felt like my whole body was covered in tiny hearts and they were all beating at the same time. It was insane.”

“Uh huh,” Haechan mutters another one word response for what felt like the hundredth time today. He flipped through another page of the magazine before tossing it and reaching for Mark’s Nintendo switch. He shook it in Mark’s face as he paced back and forth.

“Huh? Oh yeah, go for it. Anyways, and when we drove home that day, dude, you should’ve seen the look on her face. I hurt her so bad, but it was like my body was on auto-pilot. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Like my brain and my heart were so confused. Because I like Jenn. I like Jenn, right? But why don’t I get those tiny hearts with her?”

“I don’t know, man. Damn, I can’t catch this stupid spider.” Haechan curses, twiddling his thumb on the remote trying to find joy in Animal Crossing.

“And now I’m not talking to both of them. But it doesn’t feel like I’m avoiding Jenn, but I can feel that I’m avoiding Y/N and it’s killing me.”

“Then. Talk. To. Her.” Haechan enunciates every time he hits a button on the switch.

“Who?” Mark asks, dumbfounded. Mark has had this same exact conversation with Haechan at least twice a day for the past week. If he wasn’t studying, he was bribing Haechan with food to come to his apartment to ramble.

“Stupid spider,” Haechan slams the game on the couch cushion. “And stupid you. How many times do you have to circle around these same thoughts before you figure it out? Do I really have to say it, Mark? I’m trying to save you the embarrassment of admitting something so obvious.” He leans back, crossing his arms to assert some dominance in this situation. It’s ridiculous how many times Haechan has been tricked by food and games to be trapped in Mark’s apartment for the second time today.

Mark just blinks, mouth slightly agape.

Haechan tilts his head, poking his cheek with his tongue. He raises his eyebrows, urging him to think just a little harder.

Mark finally looks up, as if a new thought crossed his mind. He gasps softly.

He covers his mouth as he mumbles, “No way…”

Haechan rolls his eyes at his dramatics, “Yes way.”

Mark pokes himself hard in the chest, “Do I like Y/N?”

“And he figures it out!” Haechan sarcastically cheers, clapping his hands. “Now can you buy me some actual food please?”

“No no no. Sit down. Because now we need to discuss this.” Mark starts pulling at his hair, even more stressed out than he was before.

“Oh my GOD,” Haechan screams. “What is there to discuss? You like her! Go tell her!”

Mark’s eyes bugged out as if Haechan turned into a mythical being. “Are you insane? No, scratch that. Am I insane? I started talking to her because I liked her best friend. I asked her to help me get close to her best friend. Our entire relationship is essentially built on this crush and you want me to tell her that I like her? Oh god, she has to hate me. She definitely hates me.”

Mark stopped pacing and dropped to the ground in a squat. He’s full-on gripping his hair and Haechan is just watching. He forgot that Mark technically doesn’t know she likes him back and he pities him for a second before thinking he’s stupid again for not noticing. Everyone noticed.

Mark finally raises his head and his face is left with tear trails. Haechan gets up immediately and wraps his arms around Mark’s shoulders.

“Oh, Marky,” Haechan sighs.

“Shit.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Mark (anatomy): hello!

Mark (anatomy): hi

Mark (anatomy): hey

Mark (anatomy): oh God sorry. I didn’t know which one to send and i accidentally sent them all

Mark (anatomy): HAHAHAH uhhh…

Mark (anatomy): can we talk? I wanna apologize in person.

You couldn’t help but laugh rereading Mark’s texts from this morning as you waited for him at the park. It took you an hour on your own and a 30-minute encouragement session with Jenn to work the confidence to agree to meet him. As nervous as you were to hear what he has to say, you missed him most of all and just wanted to see him. You sat on the second swing on the right, the same one you sat in when the two of you met outside of class the first time.

“Y/N?”

“Oh! Hi,” You got up from the swing to greet him, feeling a bit awkward. You could sense he felt weird too.

You and Mark are simply classmates. You've been paired up in group projects a couple of times in class and when you see each other on campus, you both timidly wave. But most of the time, you're staring at the back of his head in class, wondering what it’d be like to sit next to him and talk.

So when he asked for your number and texted to meet at the park, your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your chest. Could he see you boring holes into his head or does he look at you the same way?

You wiped your hands on your dress and clasped them in front of you as he stood in his spot, about two feet away.

Why did I wear a dress?, you thought. This is so embarrassing. I look like I’m dressed for a date.

“You look nice,” He says, smiling to break the ice and simultaneously ridding you of your fashion doubts.

“Oh. Thanks,” you force a laugh, also trying to break the ice. “Um, why did you ask me to meet at a park?”

His eyes lit up and he chuckled, “I thought it’d be a good place for some scheming. You know, like in the movies.”

You blinked a few times, not quite catching on. “Scheming?”

He took the swing next to you and sat down. You copied his actions, twisting to look at him. He kicked up to catch some air and swung slightly.

“Okay, this is going to be weird, because I know you barely know me.” Not true, I thought. “But I wanted to ask you a favor. Half of my friends think I’m a dick for this and the other half say that you look understanding, so maybe I should give it a shot. Jaemin was super against it though, so I feel like I’m about to pee my pants right now. I thought about it for like two days and decided, you know what? It wouldn’t hurt to see how you felt, so here I am.” He used his feet as breaks as he finished his ramble to look at you, to seriously look at you.

Your grip on the swings tightens and you can smell the rust smearing on your palms. You can’t believe you get to see your crush this close to your face and he wants to ask you a favor. Your chest feels bubbly with anticipation. You nod, asking him to continue.

“I like Jenn.” The bubbles pop.

“O-oh,” you say. Your mouth has gone completely dry and the wind picked up to blow strands in your face. You quickly brush them away and swallow.

“You… you like my Jenn?” I tightly tuck the strands behind your ears, trying to compose yourself. He giggles and picks up a loose one to help. Mark Lee, what are you doing to me?, you think.

“Yeah. I wanna get closer to her and I know you guys are friends.”

“Best friends,” you clarify, hesitantly.

“Right, right. I know this is insane and I’m like completely using you. So feel free to say no to helping me. You can probably see how desperate I am, but I also can take rejection pretty well! I think.” He tousled his hair with his hand and reoriented himself.

Clearing his throat, Mark admits, “I’m not… I’m not the best with girls. My game is off completely and I think I really like Jenn. So I thought I’d try. I wanna try. I just don’t know where to start. So I’m sorry if I’m going the wrong way about this or if I offended you.” He huffs. The boy-next-door charm you always see him carry around campus fades and he looks defeated. Despite the slight crack I feel in your heart, it swelled looking into his eyes. He must really like her.

“I’ll help you.”

Mark perked up, his whole body shaking the swingset. “What? Really?” His toothy grin returns and your heart lurches knowing it was partly because of you.

You nod, “Mhm. You seem nice, I think Jenn would like you.” I like you, you thought.

He gets up and tackles you on the swings with a hug. You fall backward and he quickly catches the back of your head before it hits the ground, eyes wide in fear.

“Oh my god, I almost killed you,” he laughs in disbelief. You’re gonna be the death of me, Mark Lee.

“Y/N!”

You almost drop your phone, looking up to meet the eyes of the boy that avoided you for almost two weeks. You thought you'd be overcome with anger, but you weren't. Instead, you felt exactly the same way you felt the first day at the park. Nervous.

“Hey,” you smiled slightly, not getting up from your spot. Mark falters slightly noticing your cold front. He stumbles on the woodchips as he walks over to the swing next to you.

You two swing slightly in silence and you're beating yourself up in your head for not having the courage to curse him out. Jenn prepared you to go off on him and you can’t even open your mouth, you whine to yourself. The more you two sit here, honestly, the angrier you get. Shouldn’t he be saying something? He called you out here in the first place. Before you could utter a word, Mark finally clears his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

You lift your head to look at him, the first look at him since you took some time apart, and your heart already races when you meet his eyes. You know you're doomed when all the anger suddenly dissipates. You almost want to laugh at how silly this situation is. You still don’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“You’re probably confused as to why I’ve been avoiding you. At first, I didn’t know why either. And I know that ignoring you without telling you why wasn’t the move, but it helped me figure it out.” He broke eye contact with you and he started to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks frustrated.

“I did it because I was scared. I was scared because I don’t like Jenn anymore. I’m starting to think I never did.” Mark confesses and he looks upset with himself. You get a good look at his face and you notice the eyebags, the pallor, and his chapped lips. He looks exhausted. You wonder if you look the same.

He sniffles. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I literally put you through all of this just for me to realize I don’t even like her. I used you. And I feel selfish because I still want you in my life.”

“Mark…,” you finally speak, your throat feels rough as if it’s been days. “I have to tell you something.” Your voice came out like a whisper, but it was all the strength you had.

He looks up, a signal to continue.

“As shitty as it was for you to ignore me for over a week, it let me do some thinking too,” you sigh, not wanting to say what comes next. “I don’t think we can be friends right now. And-and don’t worry, it’s not because of the whole 'you befriending me for Jenn' thing. I don’t want you to feel guilty for that because I honestly feel so grateful to have been your friend. I hope, I guess, you feel the same way. But, uh, it’s actually because… it’s because I like you, Mark.”

His jaw drops slightly and his eyes widen, almost like he forgot how to function. It was almost cartoon-like.

“Yeah,” you awkwardly laugh. “I’ve actually liked you from the start, and I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty. I just thought you should know — to help you understand. Anyways, I realized how hard it is for me to be friends with you when I have these feelings for you. It wouldn’t be fair to me, and I’d be dishonest to you if I continued being friends with you under the guise of purely platonic intentions, you know? I really, really hope you understand.”

You let out a breath, half relieved and half anxious. After rehearsing that a few times with Jenn, you didn’t expect the words to come out so smoothly. Especially when he’s staring at you like this. However, your pride fades as you wait for his response, a response that determines the future of your relationship.

“I don’t understand,” Mark says firmly. He’s shaking his head trying to wrap his mind around all of it. It feels like a rejection.

“Mark,” you whine, not wanting him to finish his thought -- to spare yourself the awaited pain.

“No, I don’t understand because… because I like you too.”

Heat immediately flushed throughout your chest as you heard the three words you never expected to come out of Mark’s mouth. Your mouth is itching to smile, but a part of you feels doubtful still, weighing down the corners of your lips.

“Are-are you sure? Like are you sure your mind isn’t tricking you into thinking you like me because you realized you don’t like Jenn?” You lean in, close to falling off the swings. You look at him with so much seriousness, but he meets you with a giggle.

“If my mind was tricking me, it’s awfully persistent. I think… in trying to get Jenn to like me, I started to fall for you,” Mark says as if he’s putting the last piece of the puzzle down.

“The image I had of Jenn wasn’t what I expected and I think, while in denial, I was forcing it onto her. I was trying so hard to have real feelings for her, but I think I was also still trying because it meant I got to be with you. Our friendship was contingent on me getting with Jenn, so I guess I was subconsciously scared of losing us… But at the same time, deep down, I wanted more than just a friendship with you.”

Mark looks at you and he offers the widest smile like he found his answer. A smile that ignites the fuzzy fire in your body even more. Your heart is racing so loud you can’t even hear your thoughts.

“Marcus Lee, I didn’t know you had those words in you,” you giggle, trying to soften the conversation.

He shrugs, “Dude, I didn’t think I did either. I just really like you, Y/N. And to be honest, Haechan helped a little.”

As quickly as the happiness came, it washed away just as fast. No matter how ecstatic you were to hear Mark say he likes you back, you couldn’t stop the disgusting doubt that lingered in your mind. You’ve always been in wing woman mode around him, and trying to imagine another scenario where you're the girl he wants is harder than you thought.

“Mark?” you turned to look at him.

“Yeah?” He looks at me with a different light in his eyes.

“I want to believe you, but... I can’t. I can’t really wrap my head around it, I’m sorry.” you clasp your hands together out of nerves.

He dims only a little, “No, I get it." He nods as if gathering the courage to say what's next.

"I can see how it’d be hard to believe. But I’ll prove it to you…

I won’t let you doubt my feelings.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A/N: ahhh thanks for reading if you did!!! the only proofreading i did was to change from first person to second person. sorry about the mistakes but thank you for enjoying it if you did <3

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scented-morker · 1 year

Text

Tipsy Love Songs

you come to keep tipsy mark company in the studio, and he’s just so in love with you he can’t think about anything else… idol!mark x gn!reader, mark the emotional and lovesick drunk, embarrassing pet names, just very fluffy and whipped mark. 722 words

You always thought Mark was joking when you’d ask about some of the lines from NCT songs and he’d say he was probably drunk when he wrote them.

It’s not that he would party on the job, but sometimes when the words just weren’t there and they were struggling to get anything going, the producer would get both himself and mark a glass of wine or soju. This way they could relax and stop trying so hard to force something.

Apparently, he had done so tonight, except now his wife had called him home with a sick kid and he had to leave immediately. Not wanting Mark to be alone, he’d asked if there was anyone he could call to keep him company.

Which is how you ended up on the sixth floor of SM, putting the code Mark had texted you into the keypad and taking your shoes off at the door.

“Hi baby,” you greeted softly, feeling the need to keep your voice down as the room was dim and Mark seemed occupied with his headphones on and fingers dancing along the soundboard.

You weren’t even sure if he heard you, as he made no attempt at responding or even acknowledging your presence. So you continued to just stand there, waiting for some acknowledgment or instruction.

He still doesn’t speak, but turns a few inches in his chair, untucking his legs from under the desk and gesturing for you to come over.

He looks up at you when you make your way over, and you swear he's got the whole world in his eyes at the moment, shiny and round and staring at you.

“Hi baby,” it’s only then that you notice he might be a little tipsy, blushed cheeks and giggles leaving his lips as soon as the words make it out.

He grabs your waist and guides you down to his lap, tucking you into his chest with your legs between his own before swiveling his chair back to face the board.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” He chatters excitedly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I was trying to write this love song but I couldn’t do it! Nothing rhymes with your name!!”

He seems angry at this fact, eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed into an angry pout. He looks so cute you wish you could be in the studio with him everyday.

“Baby, you can’t put my name in the song.”

He looks even madder when you say that, and you have to turn your head to not laugh in his face.

“Why not?!”

“Because your fans don’t know we’re dating.”

“Why not?!”

“Because they’re protective over you.”

“But you’d never hurt me!” He says it with such certainty, glossy eyes looking into yours.

“That’s right. I never will,” you coo in your gentlest voice, wiping his under eyes with a soft touch, “Why are you crying markie?”

He sniffles, “I’m sad they think you’d hurt me.”

You think you’re going to explode if he says anything else, and you’re positive your eyes have been replaced with little hearts by this point.

“It’s okay, they don’t know us, they just want to make sure you guys are happy.”

“You make me happy!!” He’s never said those words to you quite as aggressively before, but you appreciate the sentiment.

“You make me happy too,” You place a soft kiss on his cheek and relish in the way his whole demeanor lights up, “Why don’t you finish up with your song hm? Then I can take you home.”

“I will! I’ll tell them how you’ll never hurt me! And always make me happy!”

You sit there for another hour, giggling in Marks lap as he raps some of the most juvenile and lovesick words you’ve ever heard, pausing mid phrase to kiss your forehead every five seconds before finishing the line.

He’s completely happy with the end result, putting his headphones on you and making you listen to it before blabbering about how he thinks it’s his “best song yet” as you drive him back to your apartment.

The next day he’s told you’re never allowed in the studio with him again because he spent twenty minutes singing about how good you smell, how good of a kisser you are, how good his dinner tastes when you cook it, how warm you felt on his lap at the moment— nothing usable.

#Nct mark #nct dream drabbles #nct 127 drabbles #nct mark fluff #Nct mark drabble #mark lee scenarios #mark lee drabbles #mark lee oneshot #mark lee fluff #nct scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct x reader #nct x you #nct dream x reader

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doeilovr · 11 months

Text

[2:02 AM]

It was cold outside, you had your arms crossed in front of your chest in an attempt to feel at least a bit warmer.

You were waking down the street some time after midnight, the full moon and the stars were shining and you could hear waves crash softly in the distance.

Next to you, arm brushing yours every now and then, was your crush.

You've spent the entire summer with him, meeting for coffee in the mornings, going out for lunch, taking a swim or getting kind of drunk after work at night. It all happened at least once.

Another thing that happens at least once - having a crush. And so for this summer - for the first time in your life - you had a crush. And it was no other than Mark.

"So you will leave early tomorrow?"

Marks voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

"My friend is gonna take me to the airport at 12", you bit your lips.

This was your last night, the last time for you to see Mark for god knows how long. It hurt a bit.

"Ah, that's nice."

You hummed, feeling slightly awkward.

The thing about your crush on Mark was that Mark himself knew about it. You told him, you confessed.

And you talked it out, settling on being good friends, because Mark was still getting over a fairly recent heartbreak.

And you had cried days and nights. But it didn't matter anymore, you got over your pain and accepted the situation and Mark's decision. After all, what else could you have done.

"I think it's sad", Mark chuckled, "it's sad we're all leaving and this summer is ending."

You nodded, "yes I know."

You had almost reached your apartment, Mark having insisted on walking you home.

"I think we will probably not see each other for a while after tonight."

You glanced over at Mark and you weren't sure if it was because of the cold or if he was holding back tears, but he sniffled a few times.

"Do you still want to be in contact with me even after you leave?" Mark asked very carefully.

"What? Of course, I want to, if that's okay with you?" You looked at him, stopping in your tracks as you were now standing next to your front door.

"Yes me too", Mark smiled, "I would like that."

You smiled too.

"Alright, there we are, so, there is one more thing I want to say", Mark paused, stepped closer to you. "You are very lovely and I wish I could give you what you want and deserve. "

"Mark", you whispered. It hurt a bit.

Mark gave you a half smile, his eyes glistening. "But my heart is not well and before I can't fix it, I don't think I should give it away. You deserve a strong heart and all the love in the world."

Your eyes burned, "No, Mark. I just ask for you."

"Maybe when we meet again my heart will be fixed. And then, if you are still interested, we could try again."

Mark grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

You held back tears as you looked up at him. You understood it and altough you just asked for him to stay by your side, you understood that he needed space and time to heal.

There wasn't a lot you could say or wanted to say. Now you needed time, too.

You softly smiled. "Okay."

Mark smiled too and pulled you into a long hug. "I'll come visit you next month, as planned."

You stepped back and smiled widely. "I'll ask you again then. Is that okay?" Your eyes were sparkling with hope.

Mark chuckled softly. "Ask me again in a month, yes."

"Okay, I'll see you then", you waved at him and stepped back even further to where your door was. "Wait for me."

"I will", Mark nodded, watching you disappear inside your apartment building.

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by-soleil · 9 months

Text

can't fight this feeling

Pairing: Mark Lee x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.7k+

Warning: One-sided love, Mutual pinning (?), Oblivious bestfriend(s), idk...

This fic was inspired by "Can't Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon"

•••

You remember it clearly. It was the morning of the very first day. The sun was unforgiving, blazing thru the thinnest of fabric that was your blouse. And it was only 9 in the morning. How you survived the rest of the day was still a mystery.

After sighing for the nth time, you try to scan the new surrounding. The unfamiliarity of it left you with an uneasy feeling. How exactly does one supposed to find where the ‘Neo Auditorium’ is after only being here once? Granted, it was your fault. It was you who skipped the unofficial tour of the ground in favor of getting your nails done.

You fish your phone out, maybe your friends replied to the text you sent before you started driving earlier. They should be here already, they should know where you’re supposed to be heading.

“Oh, crap.” you grit your teeth in annoyance. Checking once more if there are any clues about where that Neo place is in your group chat before locking your phone and threw it carelessly inside your purse.

“Screw it, I’ll find my way.” you mumble to yourself as you head towards the nearest walkway shaded by the tree.

Or so you thought.

What supposed to be a 4-minute walk from your car turned into a 30 minute of absolute confusion. Stopping at every directories for some sign only for you to find out weeks later that it hasn’t even been updated since God know when.

Just when you’re about to give up and just go back to your car for some air conditioning, someone approached you.

“Excuse me, do you need help?”

“Yeah, actually. l think I’m lost, I’ve walked around probably a thousand times to look for that damned Neo-something and somehow just ended up back here. My head hurts and I haven’t broke into these shoes ugh I feel like—“ you abruptly stop, realizing you just overshared and probably scare the only person that might actually help you. “I’m sorry, I’m mumbling. Yeah, a help would be nice.” you smile shyly.

The man in front of you gulped. A bit flustered with how fast you were talking. Then he chuckled. “It’s fine, you’re good. You’re looking for the Neo Auditorium, eh?” he asks, still chuckling lightly.

You nod, questioning weather you should feel offended that the man in front of you can’t seem to stop chuckling.

“I’m heading that way, actually. I’m guessing we’re in the same class. I could show you where it is.”

“Ugh, thank God!” you grunt, feeling relieved. Sipping what’s left of your watered down iced coffee, you nod to him. “Let’s go.”

“Umm, actually, can you wait a sec? I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be quick I promise.” The man in front of you hold his hand up as if to assure you he wasn’t lying.

A chuckle slipped out of your mouth and you nod before following the man towards the bathroom.

“I’m Mark, by the way.” the man walking next to you introduced himself. Making sure his hands are dry by patting it on his shirt before offering it for you to shake.

After introducing yourself, you arrived in front of a big wooden door with a big slab of glass running through the middle of it.

“You can sit next to me, the seats in front are all taken I think.” Mark offers kindly. Which of course you accept, a friendly face was exactly what you needed that day.

And that’s how you met Mark, your dearest, closest best friend.

Throughout the years, you and Mark become inseparable. It is not a strange thing for someone to ask you where Mark is when his phone is unreachable. Reserving two seats for you knowing Mark would also tag along anyway.

Here’s the thing, being around Mark is easy and comfortable. He feels like home.

Mark is your person as you are his. You tell Mark everything and he also tells you everything about him. Well, most things.

Countless nights spent with you burning his ears off talking about your shitty love life. How your ocean-deep love for Haechan is never reciprocated.

Mark is a great listener, he might never give you any advice on how to deal with your stupidity when it comes to Heachan—sometimes you wonder why, cause he seems to always have an opinion about everything else—but you don’t care. All you needed was to be heard. To feel heard. And Mark give you just that.

“What’s up, lover boy?” Jaemin greets Mark when he set his book bag down near the couch.

“Shut up, man.” He jokingly brush him off. Taking the guitar and placing it on his lap.

Jeno then pops out of nowhere, startling both Mark and Jaemin. “You coming tonight, lover boy? You know Haechan always throw the best parties.” he wiggles his brows.

“Of course Mark is going, his little girlfriend is gonna be there. Where is she, anyway? Aren’t you guys supposed to be glued together or something?” Jaemin continue to tease.

Mark taps the guitar strings, “First of all,” then he strums a chord, “not my girlfriend.” his slender fingers quick to adjust to another chord before strumming once more. “Second, she’s getting her nails done.” another strum of the guitar follows before he quietly murmured “for Haechan’s party.”

“How are you the smartest person I know yet capable of being this stupid?” Jeno tsks, shaking his head as he head for the fridge.

“Remind me to never let you copy my assignments from now on.” Mark jokes. Knowing exactly what Jeno is implying with him being stupid.

Mark never know that it would end up like this. What started out as friendship has grown stronger. At least for him.

Maybe it was the way you always put everyone else’s feelings before yours. Accommodating people’s wants and needs, even if it means going the extra miles.

Always so kind towards other people yet never really expect the same from them. Always so selfless, smiling through the inconvenience people threw your way. Mark knows that you know you can say no. You just choose not to. Making him want to be the person you could rely on.

Or maybe it was your pure heart. You love hard, you really do. Too bad it’s never to the right person. What a shame, really.

Mark wishes he had the strength to show his feelings. The courage to just shut you up when you tell him that you feel like shit and unwanted. To kiss the pain from your voice away. To show you how amazing you really are. How you deserve to be treated.

Mark though it was only a phase. Maybe the endless hours spent together, be it studying or just hanging out in your room was taking a toll on him. But, nowadays he started to doubt himself.

“Yeah, right.” he often find himself mumble quietly, running circles inside that big ass head of his—yes, you’ve confirmed it. Mark has a big ass head. Making him all the more grateful you always gift him beanie and bucket hat instead of baseball cap. Truth be told, he’d love it regardless.

Mark tried plenty of times, he went on dates. Yet, his mind kept on wondering whether you’ve had dinner or not. Or would you like the gnocchi he’s been playing with through his entire date. Or is the music that’s been quietly playing in the background would suit your questionable music taste. Everything just somehow linked back to you.

Most of the girls were nice, hell, all of them were nice. But they’re just not you.

Sometimes, he’d think it was his ego. His needs to be needed. You were so out of it and all over the place sometimes, makes him want to take care of you. You make him feel good about a lot of things.

“You look very pretty.” you hear Mark say when you step into his car. Grinning widely when you roll your eyes.

“I’m gonna shoot my shot tonight, Markie! It’s now or never. I’m tired of Haechan only seeing me as friends. I mean, I’m not all that bad, right? I’m pretty—like you just said. I’m always cheerful. I could make a great girlfriend. Don’t you think?” you bring your body forward, pestering your bestfriend for some validation. You need all the ego boost you could get for tonight.

Mark could feel his gut stirring inside. Tonight, huh?

“Earth to Markie! Hello?” you wave a hand in front of his face.

“My bad, I just randomly thought of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Mark scrambles to turn the car on.

“Yeah, what? Are you okay, dude?” you ask genuinely concern. Your bestfriend was never the type to get all panicky. Something must’ve going on.

“Yeah, you’d make a great girlfriend.” was the last thing Mark said to you through the entire 20-minute ride to Haechan’s house.

What was supposed to be ‘the night’ for you, took turn for the absolute worst.

You were so eager to find Haechan as soon as you step into the party. The music blasting from the speakers pumping adrenaline straight to your gut.

Light airy steps got heavier the more you step into the living room. The visual of Haechan shoving his tongue down someone’s throat is all you could focus on. Smiling into the kiss like some simp in love.

Your vision’s getting blurry from the hot tears threatening to spill out. The air feels thick, the smell of booze doesn’t smell like a good time no more.

You didn’t feel the arm that suddenly wrapped around your shoulder, turning you around towards the front door. Helping you walk on your trembling limbs.

Everything was happening so fast. One second you were standing on Haechan’s living room grasping for air and the next you’re bawling your eyes out in your bestfriend’s arm. Soiling his ironed Ralph Lauren shirt with mixture of hot tears and snot.

Mark was there. Mark is always there. By your side as you pick up your shattered heart, gluing it back to together. He even helped gluing some of the pieces.

Mark was there, waiting patiently as you slowly turned back into your old self. The one he fell in love with.

Maybe what happened that night was for the best. Mark feel bad for feeling this way, but that was what you needed to finally get over Haechan.

You no longer fix your hair when Haechan walks by. You no longer care whether Haechan’s gonna be at the hang out later or not. You are over him.

“Wanna go get some Korean food?” Mark suggests over the phone.

“Kimchi jjigae?” you elaborate. Earning a groan from him.

“Something else. Literally anything except that.”

“Literally what is your problem with kimchi jjigae, Mark?!” you sound offended. Though it’s true you started eating kimchi jjigae just so you can resonate with Heachan, but over the time, you genuinely enjoy it. Annoying Mark everytime.

“I’m sick of it.” Mark groans. Never actually made his peace with the stuff you adopted when you were still head over heels towards Haechan.

“Then you pick! You know what? You’re pissing me off lately. Get that stick out of your ass before you come and talk to me!” you hang up the call before throwing your phone towards your bed.

Mark’s hands smacking the steering wheel repeatedly. Frustration consumes the better part of him. “What the fuck is your problem, dude?” Mark shouts to himself.

“Can’t fucking man up, I know that’s what.” Mark answer himself. Turning his car engine on before zooming to your place.

You barely caught you breath after cursing the hell out of Mark after the call ended earlier when someone—you obviously know who it is—starts pounding on your door.

“Open the door, please. I need you to hear me out.” Mark pleas, sounding way too soft for someone who just drove twenty miles above the speed limit all the way to your place.

You stand up immediately, stopping before you turn the door knob separating the two of you. “Are you done being an asshole? Cause I don’t have the energy to fight with you, Mark.”

“Please, open the door.” his plea sounds a lot sadder that before, weaken your pounding heart.

There are a bunch of things you expect when opening the door, but Mark, down on his knees looking defeated and red was definitely not one of them.

Mark breathes out you name, face looking up. He looked… nervous?

“I am sorry,—”

“As you should be,” you cut him off.

“Not just about earlier,” he paused, raising to his full height. Making you look up in the process. “But also for what I’m about to do”

Mark didn’t let you say anything before stepping into your personal space, catching you off guard. His hands fly up to cup each side of your face, causing heat to spread all over your body.

He breathes out your name wholeheartedly, “My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you that day. The day you were lost and can’t find our class. I’ve been running round in circles ever since. You take me to the places that alone I’d never find.”

“What are you saying, Mark?” your voice came out more like sigh.

“I can’t fight it no more. I can’t fight this feeling anymore.” Mark breathes heavily before leaning down and crashing his lips into yours.

The kiss was anything but sweet, it was filled with rage and desperation. It was filled with needs, it was like the kiss was the only thing keeping him alive. He doesn’t want the kiss, he needs it.

The shocked you felt was quickly washed off by the heat radiating from his soft lips working its way in against yours. Begging to be let it. Begging for you.

Your limp hands somehow find its strength to circle his waist, welcoming him with open arms as your lips do the same.

“What the fuck was that?” you laugh in his face when Mark finally have the decency to let you breathe.

He joins your chuckle as he connects your forehead with his. “Guess it finally get too much to handle.”

“What is?” your hands play with the hair on his nape.

“My feelings for you.” his voice lowers in volume.

You scoff, “You don’t get to feel shy after you just kissed me like a madman starving.” you try to pinch his sides. Earning a laugh so crisp you can’t help to join in.

“What took you so long?” you ask, outing yourself of knowing about his feelings already. Though it is obvious, you yourself are also afraid of pulling the trigger. Not wanting to lose the precious connection you and Mark have shared over the years.

“You knew?!” Mark shrieks in absolute horror.

You smack his forearm, “Everyone with brain size bigger than a shot glass would know, Markie!”

“Then why didn’t you say anything.” he pester, eyes still bulging out.

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t wanna risk it. What we have, you know? And I know you’d break, eventually.”

“Of course, cause if it’s me begging on my knees it wouldn’t be a problem.” he rolls his eyes.

You stand on your tippy toes before landing a quick smooch on his lips. “Just like what I planned.”

“You little minx!” he bops your nose before throwing you on the bed, joining your laugh as you try to crawl away.

Things turned out way better than neither of you expected. The afternoon spent laughing, pointing out the times any of you showed affection more than what a friend should. Laughter and shrieks of embarrassment filled the small space of your bedroom. With the craving for kimchi jjigae long forgotten.

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yootaesowlwrites · 2 years

Text

Hot When You’re Angry - Mark Lee

A14— “You’re hot when you’re angry. Not that you’re not already really hot!”

Warnings: Explicit language, descriptive scenes, smut, angry/frustrated!Mark, nudism, face sitting, oral(female receiving), bruising, cum eating, rough sex, unprotected sex(reader’s on the pill), aftercare.

W/C: 1.9K

Age Warning: I will not take responsibility because you wanted to read this, but if you’re under the age of 18+, DO NOT INTERACT OR READ. Do not take this as educational, this is fiction!

You hear the front door slam and sit upright on the bed, you slowly lock your phone and put it aside, you wait in anticipation for him to appear in the doorway, you could hear him approaching, his footsteps heavy as he got closer, you swallow as your heart rate also picks up when he finally does appear in the doorway, your breathing gets caught in your throat, his eyes were dark, and he carried a certain air with him, you could sense he was angry or frustrated.

“Mark…” You whisper, your tone wavering for a moment, he takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, he grips onto the doorframe, and you watch his muscles bulge.

“Baby… I need your consent that I can fuck you, that I can fuck away my frustrations,” He says, his tone sounded calm, but he looked anything but calm, you swallow, feeling wetness polling between your legs, what did he have planned to get those frustrations out?

“Yes,” You whisper, you watch as he bites his lower lip for a moment and tilts his head back, he takes in a deep breath once more.

“Take off your clothes,” He orders, lifting his head and opening his eyes, they almost looked black from where you were sitting, you quickly climb off the bed, reaching for your shirt and pulling it off, almost thanking yourself mentally for not putting on a bra, you hear him hum as you reach for your shorts and push them down along with your panties, you step out of them and look at him. “Fuck… always so perfect and ready for me,” He moves closer to the bed, his fingers swiftly moving over the buttons of his shirt before pulling it off. “It’s been a horrible day, sweetheart,” He sits down on the bed before moving to the middle of it and laying down. “Come here… come sit on my face,” You swallow and feel yourself only growing wetter, you slowly climb onto the bed and move to hover over his chest, his arms wrap around your thighs and his hands grip onto the crease of your hips, pulling you over his face.

“Ohh, oh, shit,” You whisper, closing your eyes at the sudden feeling over his face between your legs and his breath blowing against your moist pussy. “Mark, baby…” You manage to whimper out. “Who got you angry on your birthday?” You feel his fingers dig into your skin, surely creating bruises.

“I’ll tell you later, but right now…” He begins. “Right now I need to let out my frustration,” You gasp as you feel his tongue against your pussy, licking a stripe along your folds before his tongue slips past them and licks a stripe along the inside of your folds, your breathing quickly picks up, and you can feel your insides churning, his nose brushes along your pussy as he licks and pushes his face more into your pussy, you try and lift off, but his arms around your thighs kept you in place, you reach out and grip onto the headboard, his tongue circles your clit a few times before sliding to your entrance and dipping his tongue inside.

“Fuck, ohh, oh, my, oh, fuck,” You whimper out, squeezing your eyes tighter, he wasn’t giving any kind of mercy as he licked and pushed his tongue inside you, you could feel a tightening feeling building up inside you, your fingers were starting to cramp up from gripping the headboard, your back arches, and you want to squeeze your legs shut, the feeling was completely taking over. “Mark… Marrrkk,” The noises coming from beneath you as he licked and sucked, your toes curl as you feel a warmth suddenly go through you. “Mark, Mark, fuck…” Your legs squeeze against the side of his face, his hands grip tighter onto you, and the tightening feeling inside you snaps. “MARK!” You tilt your head back, sweat breaking out on your sweat, he moans against your pussy, the vibrations causing your walls to squeeze around his tongue. “Oh, my go— fuck!” You try and lift off, trying to get away from the stimulation, but he held you down on him. “Maaaarkkk!” Your fingers slip away from the headboard, and you hunch forward, pressing your hands into the pillows, you move one hand to his hair and grip it.

“Fuck, Mark,” You moan, pulling at his hair, you gasp as he suddenly releases you, and you lift off his face, you look between your legs at his face, seeing the lower half of his face covered with your juices, you watch as he licks his lips clean and moves his eyes to look at you.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” He groans out, he moves out from underneath you, and you move to lay down, watching him, watching as he climbs off the bed and hearing the zipper on his jeans being undone, you lick your lips as you watch his cock hits his lower stomach, the head coated with pre-cum as he does. “The company pissed me off,” He climbs onto the bed, turning you onto your back and moving between your legs, his hand slides over your thigh before moving his hand to his cock, and guides himself between your folds, circling the head of his cock around your clit.

“Maaark, Mark,” You whine, you reach up and grip the pillows as he slowly slides his cock down to your entrance.

“But I’ll tell you after I have all my anger out,” He says, it almost sounded like a growl as he spoke, he pushes the head of his cock into you, your jaw slacks at the feeling, he releases his cock and moves his hand to your thigh and slowly moves it to the inside of your knee, his other hand moves to the inside of your other knee.

“FUCKFUCK!” You scream as he hooks your knees over his elbows and pushes your legs against you as he thrusts into you, filling you to the brim, your eyes roll to the back of your head, your walls contracting around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Maaarkkk!” He lifts his hips, his cock sliding from you halfway before he thrusts into you again, your tits bounce at the harshness of his thrust, your breath getting caught in your throat for a moment.

“Fuck, so damn good,” He grunts out, his thrusts were deep and harsh as, the sound of your wetness squelching sounded so sinful, and the sound of your whimpers and whines filled the room, bouncing off the walls with his groans and grunts. “Fuck,” His fingers grip the top of your thighs, digging into your skin.

“Mark, it’s so good, fuck, fuck,” You moan out, your head thrashing against the mattress, your entire body feeling on fire. “Maarrkk,” His low groans were making you clench around him, and causing your clit to throb.

“Fuck, sucking my cock right in, so needy for it,” He groans out, your walls squeeze around him, your insides churning as a tightening feeling builds inside you. “Such a good girl,” Sweat was starting to build up onto his skin, he could feel his muscles starting to pull with how hard you were squeezing him, he slides his hands up your thighs, over your tummy and cups your breasts, squeezing them.

“Fuck, oh, oh, hmm,” You moan, your back arching, and your hips lifting into him, his cock hitting the spot that makes you see stars, your body quivers with pleasure, you reach up for his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin.

“Fuck, that’s it, that’s right, mark me up,” He grunts out, your nails claw at his skin as your grip slips on his skin, leaving red marks behind, he thrusts harshly into you and moves one hand around your leg and cups your mound. “Cum for me, beautiful, cum around my cock,” His fingers find your clit, and begin rubbing it vigorously.

“Mark, Marrrk,” You moan out, your eyes shutting and stars begin forming behind your lids, your muscles begin pulling, and you could barely control your breathing, your back bends away from the bed, your toes curl as the tightening feeling inside you snaps, and pleasure rushes through you. “Maaarrrkkkk!” You almost turn onto your side from the pleasure, if he wasn’t holding you in the position you were, you would have turned onto your side. “Fuuuck, fuck, so good, ohh fuck.”

“Fuck, you are,” He grunts out, his thrusts becoming uneven as he begins chasing his high, the head of his cock throbbed with a second heartbeat. “Making a mess on the bed and my cock, fuck,” You could feel the insides of your thighs belongs wetter the harshest he thrust into you, you were coming down from your high and feeling another slowly building up, your muscles were shaking as you feel his fingers still rubbing your clit, wanting another orgasm from you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, ohhh my fuck, I’m oh, oh,” You moan out, releasing his shoulders to grip onto the sheets, twisting your fingers into the sheets and tugging at it, your toes were starting to hurt from having them curled for as long as you did. “FUCK!”

“That’s it, one more, just for me, one more,” He groans out, his fingers relentlessly rubbing your clit, you could feel the knot inside you becoming bigger and bigger until it snaps, your walls clamp down on him as you release around him once more, making him groan as his thrusts halt, and he buries himself inside you, his cock twitch as your walls pulse around him, your body shakes beneath him, his mind begins spinning at the feeling and seconds later hot ropes of cum spills from him and into you, coating your walls with his load, he pushes your legs more against you, lowering his head to your chest, pushing the one breast he was holding into the side of his face, groaning against your skin as he fills you with his load.

“Fuck… fuck, so good, fuck,” You moan out, you feel him slowly move away from you, your legs being released from the hold he had on them, he slowly pulls out from you, your mixed releases spilling from you and making a mess on the bed, he lays down next to you on the bed, laying his arm over your waist and pulling you against him, breathing hard, trying to catch his breath, you slowly open your eyes, your walls clench, and you feel more of your mixed releases spill from you. “What made you this angry?” You turn your head towards him, he lifts his gaze to look at you.

“They wanted me to stay late and go through some things, but when I showed up, the person had cancelled on me,” He says. “And no one told me or let me know, and I was waiting for thirty minutes before I went to ask,” You nod your head, understanding his anger and frustration. “It just angered me, because we had plans, and we had to cancel them,” You could hear the pout in his tone as he spoke. “And I feel bad we had to.”

“Hopefully this made up for cancelling them?” You ask, turning onto your side, whimpering as you feel more wetness leaking from you. “But we can make new ones for the night?” He smiles and leans closer to you.

“Hmm, what kind of plans?” He asks, leaning closer to rub his nose against yours.

“Well, I can go clean up and put on the set of lingerie I wanted to put on for our date,” You say, he licks his lips and swallow.

“I think you should save it for tonight when we have dinner,” He says. “I think I may have plans for them, on how to use them… or ruin them.”

#mark lee imagines #mark lee imagine #mark lee smut #mark lee scenarios #mark lee scenario #mark lee one shot #mark lee oneshot #mark lee oneshots #mark lee one shots #nct imagine #nct imagines #nct smut #nct smuts #nct scenarios #nct scenario #nct oneshots #nct one shot #nct one shots #nct oneshot

957 notes · View notes

sleeping-sirens · 1 year

Note

hey nimi, i hope you’re well! i really loved the drabble you did “morning with haechan” and i was wondering if you could write a scenario with mark maybe teaching f reader how to speak korean + every time she gets it correct, he’ll reward her with a kiss or smth (i like to think mark would actually be really affectionate to his partner) 🥹 thank you <3 this was inspired by mark helping jaemin speak english, it was such a sweet scene, here’s the link: https://twitter.com/markclty/status/1640862192810569728?s=46&t=Tq9aSdZbZ4voR3kbqgerrw

가르쳐 줘 (teach me) 𖤐 lee mark

pairing : idol mark x f reader.

genre : lots of fluffffffff, domestic, established relationship.

summary : what the request said, and i also was inspired by his moment with jungwoo in their relay cam where each had to come up with a word that starts with what the previous word that’s been said ended with (idk if i explained that right but you can watch it here if you still haven’t 🥹).

word count : 2810 words.

warnings : mark whispering that’s my girl this is a huge warning😵‍💫 and maybe suggestive towards the end? other than that everything is just so cute and wholesome 😭🥹🫶🏼

a/n : hey anon! i hope you enjoyed this! sorry it took too long i was just trying to organize my thoughts as my brain is just rotting with heachan 😵‍💫 but i wanted to prioritize your request before i can proceed with writing my haechan thoughts down haha 😋 also i wanted to thank you for reading and enjoying my morning with haechan drabble that’s so sweet from you!!🫶🏼🥹 and i would be EXTREMELY happy if you could tell me what you think of this through an ask😭 i’d love to hear your opinion as i already did a request before this one and i’ve never gotten any feedback so i was a bit sad :(( anywayssss without further ado, please enjoy!!💘💞💕💖💗💓

masterlist

buy me a coffee🥹🫶🏼

the kitchen was quiet again after you turned off the water boiler. with the tea bags already tucked inside the two mugs on the counter, you poured the hot water and watched as it quickly changed its color, from clear to deep red. the steam created small clouds that kept disappearing into the air as you took your mug in both hands to warm your palms before placing it on a platter, followed by your boyfriend’s.

the gloomy weather outside made you feel calm and collected, and your body moved smoothly around the kitchen as you tried to cut some pieces of cake, along some strawberries and bananas for you and your boyfriend to munch on while chilling in the living room. it was a sunday, a rare day for mark to have some rest and just relax at home and you were so happy that you guys were going to spend some time together after ages of him being busy.

from the small distance separating the kitchen and the living room, you could hear him talking on the phone. you heard him say 엄마 (eomma) a few times, and you could easily understand that he was talking to his mother on the phone. other than that, you were quite clueless about what he was saying.

sometimes you’d feel so left out of his life, you wanted to be part of everything that made him be the person that he was today. mark never once made you feel a difference because of the language barrier, you guys communicate easily in english but sometimes you just wish you could understand more than just a few words of his mother tongue.

you bit your lip slightly as you gazed at him from your standing position in the kitchen. his voice was smooth, almost dripping with warm honey, the words sounding more gruff and slurred than usual, which signaled that he was indeed relaxed but also very tired that just one day of rest won’t be enough to make it up for all the work load that’s been on his shoulders.

your eyes softened on him, your tea long forgotten as you just relished in the sound of his small and sweet voice. he looked so cute curled up in the far side of the couch, head lying in the arm rest as his fingers raked mindlessly through his disheveled blue strands of hair.

his eyes would close for longer seconds and sometimes he would just opt for humming an answer instead of taking the time to formulate a coherent one. your heart swelled as you looked at him.

“my baby…” you sighed under your breath.

your gaze was lingering on him too long he felt it burning on his skin, which made him throw a look up in your direction. his tongue poked the corner of his mouth while a smile bloomed on his lips, his eyebrows jumped up his forehead into a questioning look, asking you if you were okay with a tilt of his face but you just smiled at him, shaking your head.

“tell her i said hi,” you whispered to him and he nodded in response, quickly translating your phrase into korean.

you were fascinated to say the least, you’ve always been. the way mark quickly switched from english to korean, or sometimes mixing both the languages in one phrase was effortlessly attractive to you.

at first you tried to learn the language secretly from him, thinking about surprising him with it in the future, but as you went on, your hopes have diminished as it got harder with every grammar lesson, and not to start talking about the vocabulary… mark knew that you started learning korean and everyday he would be so proud to be with someone like you, to be loved by someone like you.

the fact that you decided to sacrifice some time out of your day to learn the language that he grew up with, the language that linked him with his family and his roots, the language in which mark felt home made him fall even deeper in love with you. and he was always so happy to help you with it.

“i’ll never be enough for you,” you sniffled, letting go of the pencil you had between your fingers before hugging your knees closer to your chest.

when mark saw the effort you were making in learning his mother tongue, his heart swelled and grew larger inside his chest, that he wanted to physically grab it and put it back in its place.

“sweetheart, why haven’t you told me?” he scooted closer to your body that was sitting on the floor, pushing your notebook and pencil case aside and engulfing you in a warm embrace. “i could teach you,” his fingers gently rubbed your arm in a comforting manner. he made you feel so loved with just small and tender touches.

“you would?” you whispered, finally looking up at him.

mark wiped your tears with the back of his index finger, a love foolish smile illuminating his face. “of course i would. let me see your notebook, we’ll start with the basics.”

that was the conversation you guys had a few weeks ago and since then, mark has never stopped taking some time to help you learn the language little by little.

when the call with his mother ended, you grabbed the platter with the tea mugs, cake and cut up fruits and went to sit next to him on the couch.

“how’s your family?” you asked as you handed his tea mug over to him.

“thanks babe,” mark sat up straight and quickly took the cup from your hands, giving you a quick peck on the lips as a thank you before he answered your question. “they’re doing good, they’re on a vacation in gangwon right now.” he talked before taking a sip.

“really? it’s cold right now to be in a beach area,” you wondered, plopping a strawberry inside your mouth.

“exactly,” mark swallowed his cake bite, “their plan was to see the snow on the beach.” his eyes traveled up to give you an encouraging look, the words being something you knew the translation to them in korean.

you quickly understood your assignment. “해변에 눈 (haebyeon-ae noon),” you smiled as you answered confidently.

“good job, babe,” he scrunched his nose at you, following it by a bright smile. “let’s see if you can translate another word, how about that?”

“mark, this is supposed to be your rest day,” you laughed, leaning on his shoulder.

“i am resting,” he reassured, his hand reaching out to secure your head on his shoulder when you wanted to pull away from his body. this little action was enough to send your heart into a frenzy of heartbeats and butterflies.

“mmm,” mark hummed, the vibrations of his voice spreading throughout your body and making you feel at ease. “if you could tell me what we’re doing right now, in korean, i’ll reward you with something.”

“what would that be?” you asked, wittingly.

“the reward?”

you hummed as a yes.

“i’ll let you know when you give an answer, and it needs to be right.”

“mark,” you whined. “that’s unfair!”

“how would that be unfair babe,” mark laughed, his body rocking along yours. “i know you can do it, come on.”

“uhmm, right now we are…” you started thinking, the words coming inside your brain in english first. “drinking tea?”

“yes…in korean?” mark encouraged you to continue.

“지금…“

”ooooohhhhh,” mark reacted too quickly, rubbing your arm and tapping on it encouragingly, already being impressed by you translating one of the most basic words in korean. you were so proud and so happy that he easily made you feel so confident.

“차를 마셔요 (cha-reul masheoyeo)” you articulated slowly, still very much unsure of your translation skills.

“very good baby,” mark pecked your temple. “but what did we learn about actions that are currently happening in time? right now it’s like you said “we drink tea” but there’s a specific way to say “we’re drinking tea”, you remember?”

you hummed in question again. “마시고 있어요 (mashigo isseoyeo)?”

“very good job baby!” mark ruffled your hair and engulfed you in a big hug, pressing your face in his chest. he was very happy and excited that you got it right.

you were happy as well and you started giggling out of nowhere. “let’s do something else.”

“oooohhhh we’re confident now, are we?” he joked which made you slap his chest gently.

“you told me there was a reward, so i’m all in or nothing.”

“okay,” mark chuckled, scratching his chin. “how would you say that the weather is cold outside and you just wanna chill with your talented and handsome boyfriend?”

“that’s intermediate level mark, i’m still a beginner.”

“come on babe, i know you can do it.” he made you pull away from his chest and positioned you to be sitting in front of him on the couch. he stretched his legs in a way that you would be sitting between them before he wrapped them behind your back and pulled you closer to his body.

the heat raised to your ear at his swift movement and the proximity of his body made your heart beat like crazy. mark’s hands reached for your thighs and spread them so he could be positioned in the middle of them as well, before helping you wrap them around his waist.

inside your head, you just tried to control your breathing. your brain felt mushy, thoughts evaporating while your ears buzzed with exhilaration. your pupils dilated as you fixated mark’s face, your gaze zeroing on the mole on his face to avoid looking directly into his eyes.

“babe?” he tapped on your cheek and chuckled when he saw your flustered state. “you’re zoning out, there’s a reward remember?”

“yeah…yes! the reward,” you laughed nervously, wondering what the reward would be. you were already trembling and your heart was palpitating with mark’s face being so close to yours, you could feel his breath fanning over your skin.

“okay, let’s start with translating “the weather is cold outside” first, then we’ll go from there.” he guided you.

you nodded, clearing your throat. mark’s hands rubbed your knees, massaging all over the area to help you relax and concentrate but you were failing miserably as the only thing you could think of was how he was touching you.

you felt so bad ruining such a wholesome moment with your intrusive thoughts but you were just so in love with mark that every little touch still made you feel all giddy.

you bit your lip, inhaling deeply from your nose.

“don’t be nervous,” mark whispered, nodding his head to encourage you to speak.

“추워 (chuweo)…”

“come on babe, give me a full sentence.” he smiled but you just couldn’t get your brain to function properly, you could neither return the smile nor think of what to say. “what did we say about the weather? you learned this word not long ago.”

“i know it starts with an “N”…” you mumbled, your eyes looking everywhere.

“right!” he exclaimed, leaning in to give you a small kiss on the cheek. “here’s a small reward for remembering the start of the word.”

your heart was going to burst out of your chest at how kind and patient mark was with you. and you tried so hard to get the sentence right so you could see his proud smile blooming on his face again.

“날씨가 추워요 (nalssi-ga chuwoyeo)-“you stopped before he could react, “mark i don’t know how to say outside in korean,” you pouted, looking down at your fiddling fingers.

“it’s okay baby, you’re doing so good already.” he ruffled your hair again before noticing your fiddling fingers. he placed his palms on your hand in a calming manner. “in korean it’s okay to drop the word outside in a sentence, just saying the weather is cold (날씨가 추워요) is enough. but in case you want to use it in a sentence in the future, outside is 밖 (bakk). if you want to use it, you need to pair it with 에 (e) or 은 (eun), depends on the sentence.”

you listened carefully to his explanation, while playing with his fingers instead of fiddling with yours.

“so the full sentence would be 밖은 날씨가 추워요 (bakk-eun nalssoga chuwoyeo)?”

“exactly! good job baby,” mark clapped as he saw the relieved smile appear on your face. “now for the second part of the sentence.”

“what was it again? the second sentence?” you sheepishly asked, laughing nervously.

mark raised his eyebrow at you, a poor attempt at flirting with you and you laughed so hard at that. he started leaning closer to you, with his eyebrow still raised. you tried to stop him from getting closer by putting your hands on his shoulders, both of you laughing so hard at each other.

“mark what are you doing?” you asked through the fit of laughter that was going on between you. mark bit his lip, exaggerating his flirtatious action.

“maaaark,” you whined. “stop!” your stomach hurt from how hard you were laughing and he was laughing just as hard as you.

“okay okay,” he surrendered, raising his hands in defeat. “the sentence was “i just want to chill with my talented and handsome boyfriend” now come on.”

“is talented and handsome mandatory?” you laughed, rolling your eyes jokingly.

“of course! if you want to learn korean, you need to know the right words to compliment me with,” he tilted his head to the side, his long fringe draping over his round eyes, “or nah?” he whispered the last word, his voice going an octave deeper.

you cleared your throat. “right, of course, but i only know handsome in korean.”

“mmhm,” mark hummed, squinting his eyes. “that’s not bad already. you know what, skip talented, let’s leave it for a later session, how about that?”

you laughed at his attempts at flirting with you. he was just so cute and so effortlessly attractive with just acting boyish and love foolish. and you loved him just the way he was. you loved his nervousness and you loved the way he would stumble upon his own words sometimes. but most of all, you loved how he always made sure to show you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him. with his encouragement and kind words always warming your heart, you were certain that your heart was in good hands.

you loved him openly and without any restraints. never once being afraid of him breaking your heart. and you promised to be just as good with him as he was with you.

without realizing it, you leaned closer to his cheek where you placed a soft kiss on his skin. and he gave you a questioning look. “thank you for being patient with me mark.”

he smiled as a response. “of course babe.” he rubbed your hand with his thumb before nudging you to continue your assignment.

“okay, so… we said 밖은 날씨가 추워요, now we’re gonna say…잘 생긴 남자 친구와 (jalsaeng-in namjachingu-wa) chill…how do we say chill in korean?”

“just go with chill, that’s alright.” mark smiled.

“okay,” you nodded. “잘 생긴 남자 친구와 chill하고 싶어요 (jalsaeng-in namjachingu-wa chill-hago sipeoyo).”

“perfect!” mark smiled so bright, squeezing your cheeks between his palms until your lips pouted. “that’s my girl,” he whispered before leaning closer to you and kissing you softly on the lips.

your breath hitched inside your throat, and mark noticed it and tried to calm you down and help you get into the kiss by playing with the hair on your nape. he smiled into your lips when you started kissing him back, sneaking your hands around his waist. eagerly, mark brushed his hands down your back before clutching on your thighs and helping you sit on his lap, without breaking the kiss.

“you did so good today you deserve to be kissed until you lose your breath.” mark whispered, his soft breath numbing your puffy lips, making them feel tingly and itching for another kiss.

“is that my reward?” you breathlessly asked, wrapping your arms around his neck, your nose brushing over his.

“you don’t like it?” he looked up at you with hooded eyes. he looked worried, and you played with his neck to show him just how much you loved to be kissed by him.

“i love it!” you breathed out, finally crashing your lips on his, making him emit a low hum from his throat.

did someone say you prepared some cut up fruits for the both of you to enjoy on his rest day? those didn’t even compare to the plenty of kisses you guys were going to give each other.

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