#tali testifies

[not-that-taliesin]

Maximum Ride (2016) walked so Morbius (2022) could run

[cherryblossomshadow]

Jayce Apologism

Wow, I did not expect to be doing Jayce apologism.

I mean, he was a good enough character on first watch. It’s honestly hard to pay attention to Jayce when he spends half of his scenes around charismatic people like Mel and Viktor.

But I loved seeing this well-meaning character stumble into power and then corruption. And it wasn’t his intentions that were corrupted, so much as his actions. He always intended to do Good, even if it required Evil.

I think if this show had been made a decade ago, Jayce would have been the main character … and way lighter-skinned. And Vi would have been a guy. But I digress.

I believe that Jayce deserves a better rap than the fandom gives him. Yes, we watched him fall into corruption, but he never dove in umprompted. He tried the noblest way he could think of first, and only tried something different when that had blown up in his face. I literally cackled at the scene of Jayce reprimanding Marcus about the Hex Gate manifests on second watch. Honey, you are about to learn corruption so hard.

I love fantasy politics, and it was so much fun for me personally to see this moral yet naive Jayce try so hard to do a Good, yet get talked around into a Corruption.

He shut down the Hex gates to protect the city! He shut down corruption! He ordered a blockade! He was trying so hard to do things that will help his city!

And it's not like these things even further any of his personal goals. Like, the series could have played Jayce’s closing of the Hex Gates as a flex on the Council, reminding them that he has the power.

But no! Poor boy did that out of the goodness of his heart and got punished for it! So he realized, through experience, that to not get thrown out of the city on your ass, you have to play nice.

The violin scene was amazing to watch and I definitely ruined that whole scene on second watch by squealing in saccharine tones, "Aw, Baby's First Corruption!"

I know that I'm coming from a media background rife with wars and child soldiers, so the death of the child in the shimmer factory was not surprising in the least to me. Children would be in larger supply than adults in the poisonous undercity, I'm sure. Even Vi, who was so outraged about the injustices of Piltover in Act 1, barely bats an eye at the kid.

Jayce came down to Zaun with violent intentions and an army of backup. He went in to destroy shimmer, but he came to a complete stop when he watched a child die by his hand. Just stopped. Immediately.

Even after all the corruption we just saw him go through, Jayce still had a moral backbone. A point where he said, “No more violence. Not even against you, who encouraged me into this.”

He had his hand on the hammer. It even started to power up. But then he stopped and let Vi walk free and clear with his extremely valuable Hex Gloves. Because the violence had to stop somewhere, and Jayce decided it had to be him.

That one child completely stopped him. That would not stop everybody, let's be clear.

And he spent the entire last episode pursuing peace, wielding the power he had accumulated to stop the violence between Piltover and what he supported as the nascent nation Zaun.

[teamhappyme]

a series of promising events (1/5)

aaron hotchner x female! reader

word count: 7.9k :)

a/n: hello hello hello! this is my first hotch fic, and the first of three parts (edit: it’s actually 5 now lolol). it’s going to cover 8 (maybe 9?) events over the course of several years, so it needed to be broken up in the most rational way possible. this is my baby, and has been in the editing process with my lazy brain since september. please, please, please, let me know if the timeline or anything is confusing to you! i have a tendency to under explain things (as my profs will testify to), and i don’t want y’all to be confused. i hope whoever stumbles across this enjoys!

also, big shoutout to @winterscaptain, you are a gift to the world, tali. i am in love with the ajf universe, and that shit inspired me to polish this piece up for the tumblr verse to see. 

alright friends, here we go.

link to part 2: here

**** 

June 2005

You wouldn’t forget your first day in the BAU for as long as you lived. It was forever ingrained in your memory, the good, bad, and embarrassing moments all stored away. Stored away that is until Derek Morgan decided to dredge it back up as you passed your six month mark on the job. 

Derek, Prentiss, Reid and yourself were finishing up paperwork in the bullpen after an unusually slow friday. You were usually the first one done, earning a groan from the doctor across from your desk. They all envied your English degree and professional writing skills. 

“Hey bobo,” The nickname Derek had assigned to you was named after your alma mater, and extremely annoying. “Remember your first day, when I tricked you into doing Prentiss and my paperwork for almost two weeks?” You shook your head, not having to look at Morgan to be able to hear the smirk in his voice. “Do you think I could trick you again?”

7:47. Thirteen minutes earlier than you needed to be. Yet the room full of agents you were supposed to join was already filled. You liked these people already, they were punctual and functioned in the morning. 

You pushed one of the glass doors open with your ballet flat, juggling your box of office supplies while keeping your crossbody balanced on your shoulder. The sound of fingers pounding on keyboards, phones ringing on loop welcomed you into the BAU. Along with a shove to your back, causing you to lunge forward. You felt something cold run down your back, cursing yourself for wearing a white blouse.

“Are you alright?” You looked up to find a tall mop of brown hair and big brown eyes looking down at you. “Well, I’m a little damp.”

He nodded while looking at your box full of sticky notes and pens. “You must be y/n l/n. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid. We’ve been taking bets on what time you’d arrive. And you beat us all with your extreme punctuality.” You laughed. “Sorry to let you down. It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Reid.” You extended your hand for him to shake, but he just stared at your extended limb.

“Yeah, he doesn’t do that sort of thing.” The new voice came into view, shaking your hand that was meant for Reid. He was tall like Spencer, but was lean with a smile on his face. Confident. “I’m Derek Morgan. When JJ told us the new recruit graduated with an english degree, I expected someone with tweed elbow patches and big round glasses.” 

“You’re an english major? Statistically speaking, only three percent of the agents that have been recruited for the BAU didn’t have any background in law enforcement or field experience.” This wasn’t the first time you’d been questioned at the FBI for being a liberal arts degree profiler. Your english degree and your fresh age of twenty five left many people to dismiss you through your time in the academy. But you got used to it. 

“Sorry to disappoint your stereotypical profile of an FBI agent,” You started, shifting your weight between your feet, now uncomfortable and a little embarrassed in front of your new co-workers. 

“Oh I didn’t mean it as an offense. I-” “He’s a genius, but he lacks some social cues. You’re the first girl he’s been around that’s his age in the workplace.” Morgan added and Reid elbowed his ribs. You covered the smile on your face as the two of them started to quietly bicker. 

“Let the poor woman go and settle in at least before you harass her.” A brunette woman in a black pant suit came walking toward you. She had a stern face while looking at the two men, but when she turned to you, her face softened into a smile. “Special Agent Emily Prentiss. You do not understand how happy I am to have another woman out in this bullpen.”

You laughed as she led you to the empty desk across from Dr. Reid’s. “Welcome to your new home.”

“Thanks.” You placed your box down before taking the place in. “I’m supposed to meet with SSA Hotchner,”

“Agent l/n,” All heads turned to the man descending the stairs into the bullpen. He was taller than the other two, and that was saying a lot since they practically towered over you. He had a clean boys haircut, paired with a suit and tie. No question that this was the unit chief you were to report to. “I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner. Welcome to the BAU.” He shook your hand before looking at the others. “JJ’s ready to debrief in the conference room.”

And just like that, the three agents sprung into action, leading the way to the board room. “We can go over the particulars when we get back from Nebraska. You ready for your first case?”

His face didn’t change, no change of tone in his voice. He lived and breathed for the BAU. Until you noticed the wedding band on his left hand. It was always the first thing you looked for when you met someone new. It was shallow and patriarchal, you knew, but it was instinct. And it put you at ease knowing there was someone out there he was doing this for. Someone he didn’t have to hold this demeanor around. 

“Ready.”

“Funny. But if you have any other insults to give, direct them to the head of the english department at Bowdoin. Mention that you’re talking about y/n l/n, with the 4.0 GPA.”

Prentiss led a slow clap as Derek shook his head. 

“I think that’s what the kids are calling a ‘mic drop’.” Spencer added and you couldn’t help your laugh. “Alright kid, why don’t you get out of here before we inevitably find ourselves back.”

You turned off the lamp on your desk and grabbed your crossbody and backpack. “Have a good weekend guys. And Reid,” He looked up, and you laughed as he pushed his hair out of his face. “Please recite the old testament for these two if they mock me while I’m gone.” He gave you a mock salute as Prentiss flipped you off on your way to Hotch’s office. 

In the six months you’d been here, these three people you shared the bullpen with had quickly become the siblings you never had. Morgan acted as your annoying older brother, constantly picking on you and Reid. Not only were you the newbie, but you were now the youngest, only a year behind Spencer. Emily Prentiss on the other hand, was the protective older sister you always dreamed of. She was confident and held her own against the male dominated team, but knew when to be soft spoken and caring with victims and the team when needed.

And then there was Dr. Spencer Reid. The smartest person on the planet, in your book. Sure, he was a little socially awkward and didn’t know when to stop listing off all the stats he knew, but you understood. He was consistently the youngest and smartest person in every classroom he walked into. There weren’t many people that wanted to get to know him without bullying him or picking apart his eidetic memory. Despite the problematic first encounter you shared, the two of you stuck together considering your combined intellect and young age. He taught you the ins and outs of the BAU, and helped you get accustomed to D.C. Although, Spencer himself hadn’t really ventured out into the city in the four years he’s been here. So the two of you tried to see as many things as you could in the rare weekends that you weren’t working a case. You worked your way through a third of the smithsonian's, and saw the Declaration of Independence. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t get a little emotional while looking at it. Spencer had called you a nerd, and you didn’t mind one bit. 

You walked up the steps to Hotch’s office, case reports in your hand from this week. The blinds were open, you could see him working through the stack of files on his desk. Despite the exhaustion written all over his face, his sport coat was still on, tie still impeccably tight around his neck. Even when he was in private he kept up the put together facade.

You knocked on the door, and heard a quiet ‘come in’ as you twisted the door knob. “L/n,” “I have my case reports from this week.” “Just place them on my desk.”

“How much longer are you here for?” He let out a sigh while closing the file in his hand. 

“Another hour or two.” You opened your mouth to respond, but he beat you to the punch. “And before you offer to stay and help me, I don’t need any help.”

“You just don’t want to listen to me singing Coldplay under my breath.” He huffed out a semblance of a laugh. A month into your bout here, Morgan had accosted you on the jet on the way home from Milwaukee. None of you had slept in three days, and you were currently enthralled in your new mp3 player and Coldplay's newest album ‘X&Y’. After the third song, a paper cup was thrown at the back of your head, followed by a ‘I’m trying to sleep, bobo’ from Derek. It was a habit of yours that you had yet to kick. 

“That’s part of the reason.” “I knew it.” He opened another file, and you took that as a cue to wrap up the conversation. You rummaged through your purse, looking for the blue envelope you sealed this morning. 

“Um, I also wanted to drop this off. It’s for Jack, you mentioned he was being Christened this weekend.” You placed the card on top of the pile of paperwork, your cursive handwriting on top. “I was going to get him a stuffed animal or some type of toy, but he’s only three months old and wouldn’t know the difference. This check may be the penny that helps you guys afford Harvard.”

A real laugh escaped his lips now, as he picked up the card. “Thank you, y/n. You didn’t have to do this.” You smiled. “I know, but I wanted to. He’s a cute kid.” 

He looked at the framed picture of Jack on his desk, then back up to you. No one else had mentioned the Christening after Hotch first brought it up. He was quiet, and only liked to talk about his family if he initiated the conversation. You could tell you were the only person who had reached out like this, with a simple gift. 

Hotch had been the hardest person to get to know in your time here. Despite Morgan saying there are no secrets kept among the team, you knew these people had their demons. And Hotch certainly had enough both professionally and personally. You didn’t want to push the professional boundaries, but you always wanted to be present in the lives of people that you shared time with. To let them know you were thinking of them, and cared for them. It was probably your most damaging personality trait.

“I’ll let you finish your work so you can get home at a reasonable hour. Tell Haley I said hi.” He nodded. “I will y/n. Have a nice weekend.”

****

December 2005

You pride yourself in the fact that you haven’t shot your weapon in the year you’ve spent with the BAU. It meant that you were successful at connecting to these people’s emotions, despite the asterisk next to their name labeling them as a serial killer or sadist. Guns were there to protect you, and they were always the last result. But as you pulled up to a log cabin in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania, you had a feeling your record was going to be broken.

The team was working a case where six bodies, two adult males and four teenage males, were found mutilated, along with a cut from sternum to belly button. It was the first case you worked that had no female victims. A small victory, in your mind. But, it was also the first case you worked that the profile of the unsub fit a sixteen year old girl, who had most likely been assaulted as a young child. When children were involved, the team acted differently. They were failed by the people that were supposed to care for them, they were consistently hurt with no one to turn to. And as a result, they would spend the rest of their lives paying for it. 

You, Prentiss, and Hotch got out of the suburban, strapping the bullet proof vests onto your bodies. Thanks to Garcia, you had found the unsub’s location once she turned her cell phone back on. A cruiser pulled up behind you guys, two more cops falling out. 

“Prentiss, you take the two officers down with you to the exterior basement access. L/n and I will take the main floor.” Hotch ordered as he pulled his gun from his holster. 

You could feel the anxiety rising in your chest, but there was no time to calm it down. You barely had enough time to strap on your vest. 

“Ready?” Hotch looked at you before taking another step toward the cabin. You nodded, pulling your own gun from it’s holster. “Ready.”

You followed him up to the front porch, announcing yourselves before kicking the door in. You cleared the living room as Hotch cleared the dining room and bathroom, leaving you both to meet up in the kitchen. 

That was where you found her. You saw her first, hiding half of her face behind the rifle that she had pointed at you. She was trembling, dried tear streaks left on her cheeks. She was petrified. 

“Stephanie Moore?” Her grip on the gun tightened at the mention of her name as you heard Hotch’s footsteps get closer. “My name is Y/n L/n, I’m with the FBI. I don’t want to hurt you Stephanie, but I need you to put the gun down.”

Hotch joined you on your left, both of you directing your weapons toward the young girl. “I did what I had to do to survive. They took everything from me, every last shred of dignity I had. I wasn’t going to let them kill me.” You never thought it would be possible for your heart to break while listening to an unsub. But this tiny girl standing in front of you, with her whole life ahead of her, it just hit you too hard. 

“I know you did, Stephanie. You were so brave and so strong. Not many people could survive what you did.” She started to loosen her grip on the rifle, you were getting through to her. “I’m here to help you. I want to put an end to all of this.”

You glanced at Hotch and he gave the slightest nod, giving you the okay to take a step forward together. “I couldn’t let them get away with it.” Ever so slowly, the gun started to lower in her hands. 

“You’re doing great. Just a little lower and this will all be over.” Before she could completely lower her weapon, you heard the storm door to the basement slam shut. 

Stephanie jumped, raising her weapon back up in her hands.

“You said you were here to help me!” She exclaimed, the gun pointed at you as Hotch took another step forward. “I am Stephanie, but other members of my team are trying to help the boy you took.”

Fresh tears started to fall down her cheeks and you knew you were losing her. “Y/n,” 

He whispered to you and she moved the gun from your chest to Hotch’s. “Shutup!”

“Stephanie, hey, look at me,” She shook her head, continuing her stare at Hotch. “He’s in on it, he has to be!”

“He’s not! He’s my boss, trust me, Stephanie.” You heard the safety go off, and before her foot landed as she took her first step towards Hotch, you emptied two rounds into her chest. He rushed forward as she fell, kicking away her gun and checking her pulse. Nothing. 

You lowered your gun as your breathing increased, looking at the lifeless sixteen year old lying in front of you. A hand covered your mouth as you realized what you’d done. 

You killed her. 

You remembered what it felt like to be sixteen. Struggling to find your identity, wanting so desperately to be noticed by someone. For anyone to reach out and help you. 

But you took that away from her. You ended her life before it even began.

“Are you guys okay?” You heard Prentiss come up through the basement, but your eyes were closed as she entered the room. “We’re good. Y/n took the shot.”

Hotch stood up and dared a look at you, taking in your grief stricken state. “Did you find the boy?” 

“Yeah, he’s gonna be fine.”

Before Emily could greet you, you ran to the corner of the room, heaving up whatever was inside your almost empty stomach. Your throat burned as you threw up for a second time, vaguely registering two people calling your name.

“You’re okay, y/n,” Prentiss approached you, gently resting a hand on your back. You coughed a few more times before a towel was being rushed to your side. “It’s okay.”

The whirring of more sirens forced you to open your eyes and straighten up from your sick position. Prentiss had eyes filled with concern, not letting go of you until you gave her a slight nod. She handed you a water before she exited the house, letting two uniforms in. They went straight to Hotch, asking questions and looking over the body before their eyes landed on you. You felt exposed, like you were the one lying lifeless on the ground for all to see. You took a few deep breaths to get your breathing under control, and tore your gaze away from Stephanie. 

Hotch finished his conversation with the officers before walking over to you. “Hey,” He rested a hand on your shoulder, and you couldn’t help but flinch. “It was a clean shot, but protocol states they have to take your gun and badge as well as give a statement to IA.” You nodded, taking your badge from your pocket. “They’re gonna take you back to the station and do an interview. This should all be wrapped up in a few hours. We’ll meet you back there, alright?”

You glanced up at his big brown eyes, warm as they bore into yours instead of their usual slanted nature. “Okay.”

The two officers escorted you to their patrol car, taking your badge and gun before you got in. You felt naked without them, like you were a nobody wandering the streets looking for someone to help, or looking for someone to help you.

It was a good thirty minute ride to the station from the cabin, and when you got there a detective from IA was already waiting for you. They led you into an interrogation room where they already had Section Chief Strauss hooked up through video call. Great. 

The questions they asked were pretty straight forward, nothing that couldn’t be answered by a crime scene report from the technicians. But the government insisted on interviewing cops involved in shootings, just in case it wasn’t legal. As if anyone wanted to deal with the psychological repercussions of taking another’s life. 

It took them nearly an hour and a half to get through the interrogation. In part due to you almost throwing up a third time as Strauss asked you to repeat the moment you shot Stephanie. They gave you a few minutes to regroup, some ginger ale and crackers from the vending machine to help settle your stomach. They took your fingerprints last, letting Strauss finish up with the bureaucratic discussion.

“That’s all for now Agent L/n. We’ll debrief tomorrow morning when you’re back in Quantico.” “Yes ma’am. Thank you.”

They led you out of the interrogation room and back through the lobby leaving you at the conference room your team had been set up in the last three days.

The white boards were still littered with images of the victims, crime scenes, and the unsub. Piles of evidence were scattered along the table, and you tried to resist looking through them again. You knew if you went through the images of the mutilated boys again, you wouldn’t survive the emotional turmoil. But you needed to know that you made the right choice, the only choice to prevent more families from going through the same pain and suffering as the Corbins. 

You turned to the white board, glancing at the first victim. Connor Corbin was fifteen years old, on the varsity soccer team, and involved in musical theatre. He was cousins with the teenager that abused Stephanie. She targeted all the men in her abusers life, letting them know what he did to her. Wanting them to understand the pain she’d had to endure because of their ignorance.

You looked through the rest of the victims, the abusers two younger brothers, father and uncle were among those killed. The boys were only twelve years old. You brought a hand up to cover your mouth, remembering meeting their mother on the first day you were here. JJ was the one to speak to her, as the communications liaison, most people trusted her with being the most empathetic. That fact was up for debate, in your opinion. She was a wreck, and JJ needed help comforting her from Morgan. But you understood, boy had you understood. Her whole family was killed. 

“Y/n,” You jumped, startled by the new voices in the room. Hotch, Spencer, and JJ had arrived back at the station. “Did they clear you?”

You nodded as Spencer walked over to you. “Yeah, Strauss just wants to debrief again tomorrow morning.” “Of course she does.”

Section Chief Erin Strauss is a hardass and not the biggest fan of the BAU. “Did they give you your piece back?” Your hand immediately flew to your left hip, void of your gun and holster. “No, I completely forgot about it.” You went to move toward the door, but Spencer laid a hand on your forearm. “It’s okay, I’ll get it.” He gave your arm a comforting squeeze before leaving the conference room. 

You spared a glance at Hotch as you started cracking your knuckles. “JJ, why don’t you call the airstrip, tell them to get the jet ready.” “Yes sir.”

In an effort to keep your mind busy, you started to take down the pictures from the white board, erasing all Reid’s notes in his barely legible handwriting. The boy had three PhD’s, yet couldn’t figure out the concept of penmanship. 

“Are you alright?” “Fine.” You pulled an empty manila folder out, stuffing Connor’s pictures in. “You don’t have to clean this up for them.” “I know.”

He sighed. “Y/n, stop.” His voice was stern now and you dropped the files. “I asked if you were alright.”

“Why wouldn’t I be alright, Hotch?” You crossed your arms over your chest, letting a breath out. “We found her, we saved her from hurting anyone else, and we brought closure to Mrs. Corbin. Case closed, the BAU gets to go home.”

Your eyes started to water but you refused to bring your hands up to wipe them away. You wouldn’t let them fall. “We’ve all been where you are right now.”

“I’m confident that you’ve never felt what I’m feeling before.”

“Try me.” He didn’t flinch, his hands remained in his pockets, stare heavy on your own. 

“When JJ presented this case to us, that two teenage boys and their fathers had been murdered, it was a no brainer for all of us to take it. Two twelve year old boys dead, two more teenagers missing, how could we not take it? But then we got here, and we met with the victims' families, we learned the boys' backgrounds, the unsub’s profile.” You scoffed, not sure who you were angered with at the moment. “This girl was raped by a seventeen year old boy and his father for two years, and we’re still supposed to treat her like a monster, like Tim Vogel?” You shook your head. “I’m not condoning what she did, but, can you blame her? And then we went in, and she had a gun raised at us. I would’ve been able to talk her down, I know I could’ve saved her if she didn’t have the gun.”

“But she had a gun.” You nodded. “She had a gun and it was raised at you. And I didn’t even flinch to take the shot. All it took was two seconds for me to forget her pain, her trauma, and reduce her to a sick serial killer.”

Even though that’s what Stephanie ultimately was, you didn’t want to accept it. Because she was a person before she went through all that pain, she was someone’s daughter, who was involved in gymnastics and softball, and had stuffed animals scattered across her bedroom. God, were you ever going to forget what she looked like?

“Feeling guilty about taking someone’s life is a good thing. It means your human, that you care.” Hotch freed his hands from his pockets, taking the file you packed out of your grip. “You’re not like them, y/n.”

You dared a glance at him as you felt more tears spring to the surface. Those big brown eyes could tell a story all on their own, and right now, they were pleading for you to believe him. You would try. 

“Got the goods.” Spencer came back in, your gun and credentials in hand. “They really had the audacity to I.D. me, as if we hadn’t just worked a case with them the last seventy two hours.” 

He got you to laugh, which served you enough cover to wipe your eyes dry. And out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw a rare smile cross Hotch’s face. 

But Aaron knew there was more to your guilt than just this little girl. He was the leader of this team, it was his job to know the people he was in charge of like the back of his hand in order to keep them safe. And in the year that you’d been here, he noticed how reserved you were. Too reserved and too broken for a twenty-six year old. How you took on the giver persona to hide the fact that you were terribly closed off to others and your emotions. You would be the first to offer help, to be a listening ear, or lend your shoulder to cry on. But you never accepted it from anyone. Not that you had to, until today. 

When Hotch started to notice you and Spencer growing closer at the three month mark, he was excited. Proud, even. He knew you were struggling with the gruesome cases (he knew you threw up after every crime scene, despite your best efforts with barf bags and travel size mouthwash) and hoped you could share your burdens with the young doctor. But it seemed like they only grew in time, like the smile on your face. Hotch just hoped you knew your limits.

“Gather whatever else you guys need for Quantico. Wheels up in thirty.” Reid nodded for both of you as Hotch left the conference room, presumably to find JJ. 

“Everything okay in here?” He asked as you continued to empty the white boards, this time at a faster pace. Of course he had noticed the red rim on your waterline and the red tip on your nose. Spencer could read you better than anyone else, regardless of being a profiler or not.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just talked through the case.” His feet stayed nailed to the ground, yet his eyes continued to stick to the back of your head. You sighed and stopped moving, turning to face him. “Spencer, I can feel you boring holes into the back of my head.”

He had a sheepish smile and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. We have copies of all this back at the office, I already faxed it over to Garcia. Why don’t we spend the next twenty eight minutes searching for a good burger before the flight home.”

You smiled. “Okay. As long as I can get a vanilla shake, too.”

****

May 2006

Growing up, you always wanted an office job. A boring nine to five with your own cubicle, a script to follow when your phone rang and a customer needed help. You’d have a generic wall calendar pinned on the particle board, sticky notes littering your monitor screen, and maybe a few pictures of pets and future family. It was safe, predictable, and what you were constantly told all you would be capable of.

Now, as you’re sitting on the FBI owned jet with your six special agent coworkers, you can’t imagine living that life you once dreamt of. 

It was nearing two a.m., and you were two hours into the flight home from Los Angeles. Reid was passed out on the couch, Prentiss and JJ in the same state of mind in the cluster of four chairs, legs spread out. Morgan and Rossi were sitting across from one another, each listening to their own playlists. And by the way Rossi was tapping his fingers against the arm rest, you knew it was some genre of opera. 

This left you in the back of the jet, staring out the window as you passed over Nebraska. You always had the map up on your screen, wanting to know every state you passed over. No matter the case, you always looked forward to the plane ride. It calmed you, oddly enough. 

“Not tired?” Hotch took the seat across from you, handing you one of the two cups of tea. “Plane rides are too exciting for me to catch any sleep.”

You took a sip of the hot drink and your face scrunched out of instinct. You never liked tea, but you tried it again and again when people assured you that it would calm you down. It never worked. 

“You could just say no,” He added and you smiled. “I know. But my taste buds may change one of these times.”

He took a sip out of his own cup, no change of expression on his face. You couldn’t help the chuckle that left your lips and his eyes narrowed on you. 

“What?” 

“Well, you may enjoy the taste, but it seems like it’s calming chamomile effect has never worked on you, either.” “We’re not supposed to profile each other.” 

“Then don’t even think about rattling off excuses of why I’m not sleeping.”

He looked down at his cup, slowly nodding his head. “Well if you don’t want to talk about what’s really bothering you, because I know it’s not sleep, I can bore you with Jack’s sleep routine we have to stick to.” You smiled. “You know that I’m the only one on this team that would actually be interested in Jack’s sleeping routine. Hell, anything with that chubby little baby would interest me. Bring it on, Hotch.”

It was no secret that Jack Hotchner was your favorite person on the planet. Not only was he the chubbiest little nugget you’d ever seen, he was the result of two of the strongest people you knew. 

The first time you met Haley, she was six months pregnant with Jack, begging Hotch to leave the office early for a date night. You made the afternoon walk up to his office, dropping off some files for him to sign when you first saw her.

“Come on, Aaron. This baby is going to be here before we know it, and who knows the next time we’ll have any alone time will be.”

Before he could respond, you knocked on the open door. Both of their heads snapped over to you, and a red blush of embarrassment spread across your cheeks. “Sorry to interrupt, sir. Just dropping off some reports for you to sign off on.”

You smiled at the petite blonde woman while placing the files on the desk. “It’s okay l/n. This is my wife, Haley Hotchner. Haley, this is Agent y/n l/n, she started about a month ago.” She smiled back at you, extending a hand to shake. 

“It’s nice to meet you, y/n. I’ll leave the agent part out, it makes you sound like a robot.” She said and glared at her husband before placing her hand back on her growing belly. You laughed once you heard Hotch let out a breath, knowing he wasn’t offended with her joke. 

“It’s nice to meet you too.” The smile only grew on your face as you looked at her, admiring her own belly. “Congratulations on the baby. It’s always exciting to bring a baby into the world.”

“Thank you. If only my husband thought going out with me was half as exciting, he would’ve been gone a half an hour ago.” “Haley!” He was more than surprised that she would speak so cavalierly while at the office, especially around someone he had barely gotten a chance to know yet. But the two girls only shared a laugh.

“Hotch, why don’t you go. I can hold things down around here.” “Y/n, it’s not your responsibility to. And quite frankly-” You dropped a file to the desk, boldly interrupting your bosses statement. You were only acting like this because you knew his wife deserved half the attention he gave to this place. “It’s a friday night, and your beautiful, pregnant wife is asking you to go to dinner with her. JJ and I will be here if anything comes up, I’ll even redirect your calls to my desk.”

“I like you.” Haley said with a smile, gently squeezing your shoulder. “She means business.”

Hotch let out a sigh, reluctantly grabbing his briefcase and punching a few buttons on his phone to make sure his calls went to you. “You or JJ call me immediately if I’m needed.”

“Promise. Now go have fun.” He gave you the smallest smile as he grabbed Haley’s extended hand to him. “Thank you, y/n. I owe you one.” Haley said as they exited his office. But you weren’t looking for a favor in return. You did this to make them happy, and you always felt better when those that surrounded you were at their best.

But Haley did end up paying you back. She asked you to babysit the first night her and Hotch went out after the baby was born. Apparently, she was impressed with your background in social services that Rossi had drunkenly let slip at the office christmas party. And only you would get excited to babysit a poopy baby, for free. And you continued to do it as many times as they needed you to.

You earned a smile from the reserved unit chief, and raised a fist in the air. “I’ll have to add that to the team tally sheet. I’m now tied with Reid for the lead in making you crack a human expression.” “Doesn’t matter who’s in the lead, you’re all behind Jack.” He quipped back and you returned his smile.

You looked back out the window of the jet, the view of any terrain was quite literally clouded. You could see the moon reflecting on the puffy clouds, and you knew then and there you could be converted to a night person if you could look at this view every night.

“I wanted to check in with you, about Randall Garner.” You looked back to your boss, eyes glued to your own, an earnest gaze in them. “With what happened last time-”

“Last time it was a sixteen year old girl. This time it was a psychotic father who was torturing his child. There’s a broad spectrum.”

“So you don’t feel guilty about taking his life?” The way your stomach flipped at the mention of your actions merely hours ago should have worried you more than it did. 

“Of course I feel guilty.” You quipped back, and quickly looked around to make sure you didn’t disturb anyone else. Hotch didn’t even flinch. “I didn’t take this job to play God. I wanted to help people, I wanted to stop people from getting hurt. To be on the other side of the heartbreak.”

Before transferring to Quantico, you worked as a social worker in Brooklyn for three years, straight out of college. You saw first hand the horrors and trauma that came with being in the foster system, and you wanted to help children going through the same situation you had. 

This became your life, even after you escaped it. And one day, it became too much. You needed a fresh start, to make a change and help people from a different platform. And with your degree in English, and minor in psychology, the BAU seemed to be a perfect fit for a new career. 

“Why did you leave DCFS?” It irked you to no end how his voice stayed so calm when he was clearly agitated. Especially since the silky smooth tone had talked you off an emotional ledge one too many times.

“Why are you interrogating me? Strauss said it was a clean shot, that she was proud to have a man like that dead and accounted for.” A direct quote from the ever emotionless section chief. If only she had any field experience, she would understand what this job was like. “Besides, I’ve been here for a year and half. You should have my file memorized by now.”

“Half of your file is sealed. Strauss must have a soft spot for you.” You actually laughed at that. Strauss most certainly did not have a soft spot for you. She was however under orders from the Attorney General of New York to keep my file sealed, no matter my employer. 

“My sealed file has nothing to do with the actions I took tonight.” You uncrossed your legs now and turned your body to face him. This conversation wasn’t ending any time soon. “If I needed help grieving this process, I would ask for it, Hotch. I’m fine.”

He wanted to believe you. More than anything else, he wanted to believe that you had found a routine that helped you forget the daily horrors you saw. But he knew that you were the last to leave the office every night, he knew you drove home with the light on in the backseat of your car every night. Deep down, he knew you weren’t fine. 

“We don’t ever truly know the people we work with. Despite the fact that we say there are no secrets in this unit, we all have our own demons we hold onto. I know you’re not fine, y/n.” You let out a strained laugh as you started tapping your foot anxiously against the ground. 

“I do though.” For the first time tonight, Hotch had no idea what you were talking about. His furrowed brow only made your throat tighten. “I know every single one of these people’s secrets. They confide in me because they know about my past with DCFS. Everything I knew was confidential, and it ate me up inside not being able to tell anybody the horrors these children go through.” You ran a hand through your hair; the flood gates were open. You feared there would be no turning back now. “It started out as me just wanting to get to know them. I wanted to be liked, and I wanted to trust my coworkers. And then overnight, I became Father l/n, sworn to secrecy by the Parish of the FBI. I’ve become a suggestion box, papers filling me up to the top and no one is coming to empty me out. 

“But I can’t even be mad at them,” I said as my eyes started to water, remembering what Spencer said to me two months into our friendship. “Spencer told me I’m the only person that’s ever listened to his problems without suggesting that he see someone to talk to. He said I was the only person that’s ever laughed at his stuffy jokes without making fun of him. I can’t be mad at them for confiding in me in their time of need. But I’m just,” You tried to smile as a tear rolled down your cheek. “I’m just really overflowing.”

Aaron Hotchner was lucky enough to have never experienced a heartbreak in his life. He met Haley his junior year of high school, she was his first and only girlfriend, hurling him into a life of love and happiness, sparing him any pain from loving someone too much. But as he watched you break in front of him, feeling so overwhelmed by the responsibility to be everyone’s rock, to be everyone’s source of light, he experienced his first heartbreak. And he was sure he never wanted to feel it again.

“So confide in me.” You didn’t think his tone could become any softer. His baritone voice had already been strained to keep from waking the others, and he somehow became even softer. But you shook your head, quickly bringing your hands up to wipe the tears that fell down your face. “Why not?”

“Because you’re the boss. You have all of us to worry about when we’re in the field. You have Strauss breathing down your neck, waiting for one of us to screw up.” He rested his elbows on his knees, slightly leaning toward you. “Most importantly, you have Haley and Jack that need you to be their confidante. That beautiful family needs you to be there when you’re not here.”

“Y/n, if you can’t come talk to me when you’re drowning in your own thoughts, I’ve failed you as a boss.” He sighed at your continued silence. “I can’t force you to open up. But I can’t watch you give and give and give without earning a reprieve of your own.”

So the two of you sat there, in a deafening silence, as you counted the seconds passing by. You were both too stubborn to pull away first, because that would be admitting defeat, and this conversation would end then and there. You counted to one hundred and eighty seconds, three minutes, when you finally got tired of staring into the endless brown eyes of Aaron Hotchner. 

You thought carefully about what you were going to say, what you would reveal in the magic that covered the two a.m. air. And no matter how hard you tried to in those one hundred and eighty seconds, you could not keep your eyes from watering.

“I grew up in foster care.” You started, scanning his face for any judgements. You weren’t going to find any. “The last, and most permanent foster parents I had were horrible. It was basic shit that happened to every kid in foster care, nothing scandalous enough to get them to be turned in. But their birth son,” You swallowed, trying to resist the urge to pick your fingernails. “He moved back in with them when I was fifteen. He was a loser, and he started to take a share of the subsidy checks. I heard him in the living room one night with Charlotte, one of the younger girls that lived there. She was only twelve, and I found him pinning her to the couch, a knife to her throat. And I just snapped. I lunged at him, knocking him off of her. It’s all blurry now, except for when I stabbed him in the throat.” My hand scratched at the side of my neck, subconsciously finding the spot I stabbed him. “He died before the ambulance got there. Charlotte and I both gave statements, and it was ruled as self defense. But the statement still lives in my file, and with some convincing, I got Strauss and DCFS to keep it sealed.”

In all honesty, Hotch didn’t know what to expect when you decided to open your mouth. But he never would’ve guessed this. Not from the doe eyed kid that never forgot a birthday, that got everyone a donut and coffee on Monday mornings. Not from the kindest person he worked with. 

“You know that took a lot of courage to get out, so it would be nice if you could say something.” You started to panic, wondering if he saw you as a monster, as a killer.

“You were the oldest one there, weren’t you?” Your eyes widened, how did he know that? “You grew up quick and took on the role of the parent for those younger kids. You wanted them to be safe, stay innocent for as long as they could.”

You finally tore yourself away from his gaze, starting to become too strong. Baby steps. 

“None of us had a family. I tried my hardest to shelter them from those people and make a family out of the five of us. And it worked. Because all four of them still reach out and tell me how successful they are.”

“But they don’t feel like your family.” You had a sad smile and looked back up at him. 

“Do you ever stop profiling?” He mirrored the smile you gave him. “No, they don’t. But I was old enough to understand that they needed each other more than I needed them. Besides, I found a pretty weird family to take me in.”

You earned another laugh from Hotch as you made a check mark in the air, referencing the team tally. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, searching through the cash and cards he had in there. 

“What are you doing?” He pulled out a thin wallet picture and turned it over to you. It was of him, Haley, and Jack on his first birthday. “You’ve got more than one weird family to belong to.”

He extended the picture to you, but you shook your head, the anxiety forming a pit in your stomach. “Hotch, this is your family. I can’t,”

“You can. And this family wouldn’t be half as happy as they are in this picture if it weren’t for you and everyone on this team.” You smiled down at the picture, Jack had frosting from his birthday cake all over his face. You reached out and took it between your fingers. “You’re a giver, y/n. You wear your heart on your sleeve and exude more empathy than we know what to do with.” You let out a laugh as you pulled out your own wallet now, tucking the picture in one of the plastic sleeves. “It’s time you learned how to accept the love you give.”

It was deep, too deep to be coming from your boss on the private jet at two in the morning. But he was more than just your boss, and they were more than just your team. And this job, boy this job was so much better than sitting in a cubicle, answering questions from a recited list.

****

[crimereporter]

Rodney Alcala... The Dating Game Killer

*WARNING: this post contains mentions to sexual assault, assault, murder and more content that may not be appropriate for some viewers. Read at your own discretion*

Rodrigo Jacques Alcala-Buquor was born on August 23, 1943 to parents Raoul Alcala Buquor and Anna Maria Gutierrez in San Antonio, Texas. “ Rodney “ was raised in Los Angeles, Califorrnia, however at the age of 8, his family moved to Mexico. His father has been regarded as “absent” by Rodney. There we're multiple Alcala-Buquor children, however, not much is known about them or detailed in resources.

In 1960, at the age of 17, Rodney joined he military where he worked as a clerk. He ended up being medically discharged only 4 years later after having a break down which resulted in him being diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder.

He then went to UCLA where he graduated in 1968 with a Fine Arts degree. 

1968- 8 year old Tali Shapiro is found raped and beaten, having been beaten using a steel bar. A motorist saw Rodney lure her into his apartment and called police to notify them of the incident. 

After this, Rodney fled to New York where he attended NYU film school under the alias John Berger. He ended up working at a New Hampshire camp for the arts as a children’s counselor using a slightly dissimilar alias of “John Burger”.

June, 1971- 

Cornelia Crilley, a 23 year old TWA flight attendant was found raped and murdered in her apartment in Manhattan.

1971- 

Rodney is caught by 2 child campers  at the New Hampshire arts camp due to an FBI wanted poster at the Post Office and was arrested. He was then extradited to California for the trial. However, the family of the young girl had moved to the East Coast in an effort to move on from the horrors that Rodney had committed. They then went to Mexico and the parents of the child refused to subject her to testifying. Without testimony from the primary witness and victim of the attack, Alcala was given a lesser sentence.

Rodney Alcala is released in 1974 after only 17 months in prison under the cause of “indeterminate sentencing”. 

1974- Rodney is arrested after being out of prison for 2 moths after violating parole. He had provided marijuana to a 13 year old girl of whom he had kidnapped.

Alcala was then released 2 years later for the same reason before [indeterminate sentencing].

In 1978, he was hired at the LA Times as a typesetter where he was questioned on the Hillside Strangler murders. At this time, Rodney was a registered sex offender with a criminal record on file. However, it’s believed that he had faked credentials to receive the job in the first place. 

1977- Cold case investigators believe that Alcala is irresponsible for the murder of Ellen Jane Hover after briefly moving to Manhattan with the permission of his parole officer.

During his time at the LA Times, Rodney used fake credentials to convince dozen of young women that he was a photographer. These women then posed in compromising positions and were photographed for Alcala’s “portfolio”. Most of these women are still unidentified to this day. 

1979- The Samsoe Murder

Robin Samsoe, a 12 year old girl from Huntington Beach, CA disappeared between the beach and her ballet classes on June 20, 1979. He body was found 12 days later in the Los Angeles foothills. Her earrings were later found in a train locker owned by Alcala in Seattle, WA.

In 1980, Rodney was put on trial and convicted for the Rape and Murder of Robin Samsoe, where he was sentenced to death. This conviction, however, was overturned by the Orange County Superior Court due to the jury hearing testimony regarding Tali Shapiro as well as other rape and kidnapping convictions. This was believed to lead to a jury bias that led to reasonable doubt of the legitimacy of his conviction.

In 1986 Alcala was put on trial again for the Samsoe case after the state rep-files the case. He was once again convicted for the crime and sentenced to death, however it was once again overturned by a panel in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals. It was said that testimony that could have changed the evidence of the case was not allowed to be provided as it supported Alcala. A witness supported Alcala’s claim the park ranger that found Samsoe was “Hypnotized by police investigators”.

In 2003, Alcala’s DNA is found in connection with 6 additional murders. They also found one of these victim’s earrings in the same Seattle locker as they found Robin Samsoe’s. 

4 of the additional victims were:

- Jill Barcomb, 18, who was a New York runaway in an LA ravine (1977). She was originally believed to be a victim of the Hillside Strangler.

- Georgia Wixted, 27, found in her Malibu apartment after being bludgeoned to death (1977).

- Charlotte Lamb, 31, found in the laundry room of her el Segundo apartment complex after being raped and strangled (1978).

- Jill Parenteau, 21, Killed in her Burbank apartment (1979).

In 2006, the state motioned to combine the cases of the 4 women with that of the Samsoe case, which was approved. In 2010, Rodney stood trial for the combined charges. He decided to act as his own attorney for his third trial, tetstifying in his own defense while asking himself questions (he was essentially interrogating himself from the stand). Alcala testified that he was at Knott’s Berry Farm applying for a photographer positions at the time Samsoe was murdered. He did not, however, provide any testimony regarding the other 4 murders other than “not remembering” killing any of the women. For his closing argument, he played Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Kitchen”, in which the protagonist tells a psychiatrist he wants to kill. 

After less than 2 days of deliberation, Rodney was convicted on all 5 counts of first-degree murder. Tali Shapiro served as a surprise witness during the penalty phase of the trial. He was sentenced to death.

Court psychiatrists later proposed that additional diagnoses for Rodney could bet that of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and Malignant Narcissism with psychopathy and sexual sadism comorbidities. 

In December, 2012, Alcala was extradited to New York and convicted to additional charges of murder. He was sentenced two an additional 25 years two life, as the death penalty hasn’t been an option in New York since 2007.

Rodney is now incarcerated at California State Prison, Corcoran (as according to Wikipedia) awaiting execution. He is now 77 years of age. It is thought that his victim's range anywhere from 8 to 130 in numbers. He is additionally associated with crimes in Washington and Wyoming, however these aren’t crimes he’s been convicted for.

Why he’s called the Dating Game Killer:

In 1978, he appeared on a television. show called the dating game, in which a contestant questions 3 different individuals anonymously and picks one of these 3 to go on a date with. He was introduced as a “successful photographer who got his start at the age of 13.” He actually won a date with contestant Cheryl Bradshaw, however, she refused the date after meeting him. She later said that she had found him “creepy”. He was at the height of his killing spree during his appearance on the show. It is proposed that this rejection from Cheryl may have exacerbated his desire to murder women as he would go on to kill at least 3 more women after this appearance. 

Here is a link to a clip of him on The Dating Game:

https://images.app.goo.gl/vqpkGUqV1km23BZ38

[what-a-con]

a few things for fun.

So I wanted to write and thought “might as well make it relevant in my life right now” and anyway, I made a few quick drabbles about my Shepard, Lee Shepard. Mostly rewriting some scenes to be more in character for Lee. They are not all that good and none are beta’d but I figured someone else might enjoy them. There are only four but at least they are short.

UNC:Dead Scientists

“Don’t tell me who I am! You got away with a few scratches and a scary reputation! The rest of the unit died and I was tortured for years. You can’t judge me. You don’t have the right!”

Garrus was many things and observant was one of them. He saw how Shepard’s fist clenched in anger at the accusations. Everyone on the Normandy had heard of the “miraculous” survival of the Commander on Akuze. Once, Garrus even overheard Williams ask him how he handled it and he quickly changed the subject. 

“I am very well aware of what happened to the squad, Toombs, but if you kill him right here, then Akuze will just be another accident.” Shepard said in a voice that Garrus had never heard before. Correction. He did hear it once when they were discussing what to do about Saren. It was not angry but not calm either. It seemed plotting but also numb. Either way, it stopped the corpal before he pulled the trigger.

Shepard continues. “You pull that trigger and Akuze becomes just another terrible random thresher maw accident. Do they really deserve that? Ryans, Shapiro, Hazkai. Do they deserve being pushed away as another accident? Is that justice, Toombs?” Toombs is silent. The only sound was the whimpering of the scientists. Then Toombs put his gun down. “No. No they don’t. They don’t deserve that.”

“That’s what I like to hear, corporal. Let me give you a hand,” Shepard says as he takes the gun from the corporel. Garrus is a bit surprised that it worked. “We’ll go back to the Normandy and get you home, Toombs. And we will get him to the Alliance officials.”

“Commander, I-” is all the scientists gets out before Shepard punches him hard, putting him down. Garrus gives Shepard a look as the Specter simply shrugs and says “I didn’t shoot him.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t,” Garrus admits.

“I meant what I said.” That is all Shepard says as they all make it back to the NOrmandy, with Wrex carrying the unconscious scientist. They do not speak of this incident again.

Later, two weeks after the galaxy was saved and Garrus began his Specter training, he got an extranet story about a Cerberus scientist testifying to the Alliance but getting immunity in exchange for his info. Not one second later, the story updated that the scientists had been killed as he left the courthouse. The picture they showed was of the dead man with a shot right in the right pterion. A perfect kill shot.

Garrus couldn’t help but compliment the placement. Shepard always did favor the right side. 

Downtime on the Normandy

On a rare moment looking up from his station, Kaiden looks up to see Dr Chakwas, Miss T’soni and Officer Nash from Engineering walk by carrying, of all things, yoga mats. And they all seemed to be heading to the Commander’s office.

Kaiden stood there for a few moments before curiosity got the best of him and he followed them to the office.

Inside seemed to be an impromptu yoga class. A few other crewmen were already there, including, to his surprise, Ashley. 

“Chief Williams?” Kaiden says in surprise. Ashley tenses up a bit before facing Kaiden. She was not expecting him to show up while she was in her work out clothes.

Dr Chakwas is glad to see one of her favorite patience. “Alenko, it is good to see you. Will you be joining us today?”

“What is this?”

“What does it look like?” Ashley says sharply, still embarrassed. She adds “Sir” as an afterthought.

Dr Chakwas finds it amusing but continues “Yoga is a great exercise not only to increase flexibility and improve cardiovascular health, but it is a good way of relieving anxiety and improving respiration. You might want to give it a try.”

“Um, I think I’m good. Does the Commander know you are using his office?” Kaiden asks, a bit amused.

“Actually, he-” Ashley begins before the office door opens and in steps the Commander. He is also carrying a mat and, much to Kaiden’s surprise, is wearing what is for sure a work out outfit.

“Alenko, good to see you. Are you here to join us?” the Commander asks.

Shorts. Very short shorts. T-shirt. Very tight t-shirt.

“Alenko?”

“Sir! I mean, no thank you, sir. I-I have a few items I need to finish. Thank you, though.” Kaiden quickly leaves before he says something embarrassing and unprofessional. As he leaves, he observes. He is very good at observing. And what he observes is almost everyone in the office (except perhaps the good doctor herself) staring at the Commander with an appreciative expression. Now he feels even more embarrassed. Maybe some work will help him calm down.

I Remember Me 

“Liara, Tali. You two mind waiting here?” Lee asks as casually as he can to his two heavily armed friends. Tali looks skeptical but says “If that is what you wish, commander.” Liara hesitates but nods. ‘“Ok. If you wish,” she says, a little worried. Shepard smiles in such a casual way she can almost ignore how sad his eyes are. “Don’t worry. She is only a danger to herself right now.”

Shepard hands the two his weapons and walks toward the girl. Liara and Tali both hold their breath as they watch the scene unfold from the side.

The girl points the gun in her hand at the Commander. “S--Stop! What do you--What are you?”

Shepard puts his hands in the air. “My name is Shepard. What do I call you?”

“Animals don’t get names,” the girl answers as best she can. “The masters put their symbols on her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it.”

Shepard's hands seem to twitch. “Think back to the before. You must have had a name your parents called you.”

“T-Talitha. They called her Talitha. She does not remember the rest.”

“Talitha. Ok, Talitha. Let’s start simply. How did you get her, Talitha?” He speaks to her in an even tone. Not as though he is talking to an frightened child but as if he was talking to an old friend. Which, if the file Liara read on him is correct, he might just well be. 

“She can’t escape. They have chains. Wires. Needles. You go too far, they take your brains away. Animals like her come. Come with guns. Make the masters explode. She tries to fix the masters, so they won't be mad. But they don’t move. The other animals take her.”

“And now you are here. What was the before, Talitha. Think back to the before.”

Talitha lowers her gun. She seems to be somewhere else for a moment. “Fires. Smell of smoke and  burning meat. Animals screaming as the master's cage them. As they put the metal on their backs. Put the wires in their brains. She pretends to be dead. If she is dead, she cannot work. But they know. She hope’s they’ll leave. But they put her in the pin.

“Clever girl. Pretending to be dead like that. I am so sorry it did not work. But that was the right thing to do.”

“S-she doesn’t want to be there anymore. In the pin. In the cage.”

Shepard takes a cautious step forward.

Talitha raises her gun again. “No! She’s no good! Don’t want to be handled again!”

Shepard stops in his tracks. Liara finds herself not breathing as he does.

Talitha hits her head in frustration. “No! She doesn’t want to see the other animals! They’re not real. They can’t be real. They can’t see her. If the animals can see her, then this is real. But it can’t be. The wires. The chains. The hitting. This doesn’t happen to her. It’s another girl. A dirty girl. A stupid girl! She deserves it!”

“I only see you, Talitha. That girl is you and she is not stupid or dirty or bad.

Talitha once again puts her gun down. “It--it happens to her. Doesn’t it? They see her, so it’s real. She doesn't want it to be real.”

“I’m so sorry, Talitha.  I know you don’t want it to be real, but it was. You will not be able to deal with this unless you look at it.” He moves a little closer.

“Sh-she doesn’t want to see that! Don’t make her look. Don’t look. Stupid, stupid! Stop! Don’t touch her!”

Shepard stops as soon as she says to. “Talitha, do you remember anyone else on Mindior? You parents? Your friends?”

Talitha once again hits her head. “When she thinks, water comes out of her eyes. The masters beat her when she wastes water. So she doesn’t think anymore. Sh-she seems them. She sees them all.”

“You had an older brother, right? Gregario?”

Talitha stops and looks at Shepard, eyes widened. “Y-yes. He yells. Run. Hide. He-he’s melting. How? How?” “I was there, Talitha. On Mindior. My mother was the teacher at the school you most likely went to.”

Talitha raises her gun at Shepard, point blank in his face. Tali moves to go forward but Liara stops her. “What are you-” 

“We have to trust him,” is all Liara says as she squeezes Tali’s arm, scared as well. Tali stops when she sees how scared Liara is as well.

“Liar!” Talitha screams “You get hit for lying. Get the buzz or the burning. Can’t have been there! Why are you alive? Why aren’t you like them? Why aren’t you like her? Broken. Only fit to dig and carry.”

Shepard takes a moment and says nothing. Then he answers. “There was a time when I was broken, Talitha. When I asked the same questions you did. For the longest time, I was only rage and fear and paranoia. I was so angry at everyone. But mostly, I was angry at myself for living. Someone saw what was happening and reached out to me. They reminded me that I was alive and here. And I promised to stay that way, if only because I had to be. Because if I don’t stay alive, then someone else will break like I did. Talitha, you are here. You are alive. Let me help you. Let me reach out to you.”  Shepard slowly reaches out his open hand towards Talitha.

Talitha pauses and lowers the gun again. “You don’t dig. You don’t carry. You stand up. She wishes she could stand up.”

“Only because someone offered me a hand up. Being broken means you can be fixed, Talitha. I’m going to reach for something, ok?” he asks Talitha nods. Shepard reaches into his storage on his belt and pulls out the sedative. “This will make you sleep and when you do, you will be taken to a place where others can help you. Will you take it?”

Talitha looks at the sedative. She then drops her gun and takes it with no hesitation. “Will she--will I dream?” she asks as the sedative quickly acts.

“No dreams, Talitha. None whatsoever. And when you wake up, you’ll get to start learning how to stand again.”

Talitha smiles sweetly as she passes out. Shepard catches her before she hits the ground.

Liara finds her breath coming back to her. “Keelah,” is all Tali says and Liara can’t help but agree with her. She knew the commander as a leader. As a warrior. As someone who can hack a terminal after convincing the guards to look away. But this was a side she had yet seen. And it took her breath away.

After the grounding of the Normandy

The sound of the slamming of the locker jarred Kaiden a bit. This whole situation has been jarring. From the Council's refusal to help to Udine grounding the Normandy. It was actually the first time he had ever seen the Commander---ever seen Shepard lose his cool in public. 

“You son of a bitch!” Shepard yells in mighty anger. “You double crossed me!” Udine looks unimpressed. “I think you should return to your ship, Commander.” Shepard clutches his fists and nearly steps towards Udine but Admiral Anderson takes a step between them. This stops Shepard in his tracks. “If you think you can fucking get away with this, Ambassador, you’ve got another thing coming.” is all the commander says as he turns to leave, Kaiden on his heels as he does.

Kaiden finds Shepard in front of the supply lockers, back to the now all closed lockers. The Commander’s face is burning with anger. Kaiden hesitates for a moment but decides to approach him. After all, they have been growing friendly during this mission. The Commander was always asking his opinion about things and was always willing to listen. Kaiden had seen how hard he worked, how much he fought for this mission. How hard the calls he had to make where. He had every right to be angry.

“Commander?” Kaiden finally asked. “What is it, Alenko?” Shepard said snappily before quickly saying “Wait, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take this out on you.” “I can understand being frustrated.”

Shepard gives a humorless laugh. “Frustrated is the smallest word for it.” Shepard sighs. “...everyone has worked so hard. Sacrificed so much. Being stuck here...it feels like it was for nothing….it can’t be for nothing. Saren can’t win. It can’t be over.”

Kaiden finds himself against the lockers as well, listening to someone who is normally so reserved in his feelings open up to him. He couldn’t help it. He saw how hard Shepard had worked.

“Sir, everyone knows this is not your fault. You have done everything you could.’’ A silence beats on for a moment. “On Feros, I saw you do whatever you could to help the colonists there. We had a mission we had to complete but you took the time to help them. And when it came time to get to the Thoryn, you did whatever you could to keep its victims alive. Everywhere our mission took us you did what you could to help those around you. Even when it was hard and any other commander would have lost patience. We-I know how hard you have worked. No one else could have done as much as you have. And I know it’s not over until you say it is.”

The look Shepard gives him is enough that Kaiden suddenly feels very embarrassed. Maybe he was out of line. But then the smallest of smiles appeared on the commanders face and it was all worth it.

“Alenko, I-” a buzz came from the comm. “Commander, you have a message from Admiral Anderson,” Joker announces over the comms. “What is it, Joker?” asks Shepard, back in professional mode. “He says to meet him at the nightclub Flux.” “Alright. Thank you, Joker.” 

Shepard opens the locker behind him and slips his pistol on. “Would you like some back up, Commander?” Kaiden asks, standing at the ready. “No need. Wrex and Tali went ashore earlier. I’ll meet them at the elevator.”

As Shepard turns to leave, he stops. “Thank you, Kaiden. I mean it.”

“Anytime, Commander.”

“...you know, you can call me by my name if you want to. You won't get in trouble,” Shepard says with a hint of a playful tone.

“If you say so, Com-Shepard” Kaiden corrects himself, which earns him another hint of a smile. As the commander heads to the airlock, Kaiden wonders if the feeling in his chest that appeared when Shepard said his name will let up.

[factoffictionwriter]

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about rewatches and comparing old plot lines and characters to the Tony/Ziva/Tali situation so let me introduce another one I haven’t seen yet.

3x18: Bait

The one where the boy holds his classmates hostage and demands to see his dead mother. Turns out he’s being held hostage himself by some druglord’s henchmen who believe the mother is still alive and want to kill her because she testified against them. In the end, Director Shepard tracks down the mother and she is reunited with her family.

So basically, a threat to a mother’s life caused her to fake her own death and go under in order to keep her husband and son safe.

I wonder where Ziva got the idea…

[tachiisms]

If Siri could do it over again would she had helped Taly escape?

This is an interesting question. I’m not actually sure, honestly. I think it might depend on what’s really meant by ‘do it all over again.’ Is she going back in time to do it again, having all of the information that she has by the end of Secrets of the Jedi? Is she going back in time with only the information that she had at that time the first go around? Is she going back in time with only some of the information? I don’t know, I think it depends each way. 

I also think that it depends a lot on her life experiences. At the time when she agreed with Obi-Wan (wasn’t happy with it, but agreed) that they couldn’t go against the Council, she’s only sixteen and that’s the first time that we’ve ever really seen her question their mandate like that. She’s intuitive and smart enough to know that the Senate isn’t going to care about Taly once he’s testified for them, but I don’t know if at sixteen she’d ever have been willing to fully go through with completely violating their mandate. 

Even as an adult, where we know that she’s less inclined to listen to everything the Council says, and where she does question them and do things her own way and has a rebellious, independent streak, we never actually see her go completely against the Council. So I’m not really sure if she’d ever have helped Taly escape. 

At the same time, though, she also sees the effect that it had on him when they meet him again, and she sees that she was right, that he has been unhappy and life hasn’t been good to him. (We see her question right then whether or not they should have let him escape.) She wanted to at the time, and she still thinks that maybe they should have later on. So I don’t know, maybe she would let him escape if she could go back and do it again with all the information that she eventually has later on. 

I definitely think that she’d be more inclined to want to, and I think that if she was doing it again, she would probably be inclined to figure out some sort of creative compromise. She has a lot more connections then, she knows people who could help, she has resources she could use. (But of course, these resources and people don’t know her when she’s sixteen and so she doesn’t have them then.) 

I know that you were probably hoping for an answer other than ‘I don’t know,’ but I don’t think I have an answer other than I don’t know, and I don’t really think that Siri knows, either. But I do know that she definitely thought about Taly a lot, she questioned that decision a lot, and it’s never a decision that she stopped wondering if she’d done the right thing for. 

[violesense]

People Who’ve Survived Serial Killers

Tali Shapiro

  Throughout the 1970s, Rodney Alcala terrorized multiple states, brutally murdering young women and photographing them. Alcala’s believed to have murdered up to 130 women, although only eight have been confirmed. Tali Shapiro, a native of West Hollywood, California, recalls encountering the ruthless killer when she was just 8-years-old.

  On a sunny September morning in 1969, Tali was walking to school from her home, deciding to walk along Sunset Boulevard to get to her destination. All of a sudden, Alcala pulled alongside Tali in his vehicle and offered her a ride. She refused, telling the man she wasn’t allowed to talk to strangers. He insisted that he knew the girl’s family, and claimed to have had a beautiful photograph to show her. Though hesitant, she approached his car, making this the last memory she had of that morning. 

  After a neighbor saw Tali’s abduction, police immediately went to Alcala’s home, where he ultimately refused to let authorities inside. When they barged in, they found an unconscious Tali with a metal bar around her neck, appearing as though Alcala had been pinning her down with it. It was revealed that she had also been sexually assaulted, but the young girl miraculously recovered from her attack, eventually being one of the victims to have Alcala sent to death row in 1979.

Corazon Atienza

   In 1966, 23-year-old Corazon Atienza was a Filipina exchange student, who lived and worked in Chicago studying to be a nurse at South Chicago Community Hospital, where she roomed with seven other nurses in the 23 block of East 100th Street. 

  On July 13th, eight of the nurses, including Atienza, were resting in their apartment when they heard a knock at the door. Richard Speck, holding only a pairing knife, forced his way into the door. He stripped and slashed the bed sheets to tie the nurses up, where his rein of torture only began. According to Atienza, Speck initially told the women that he only wanted money so he could get to New Orleans, assuring that he wasn’t going to harm them. However, Speck ultimately raped and murdered each nurse one by one, mutilating their bodies with the knife he’d brought along. All the while this was occurring, Atienza lied traumatized and hidden underneath a bed, never being seen by Speck.

  With Atienza’s first-hand account of the whole ordeal, Speck was immediately arrested and tried for the murders, where he was ultimately sentenced to death for the crime. In 1991, Speck died of natural causes while imprisoned.

 Rebecca Garde

  Gary Ridgway, or otherwise known as “The Green River Killer,” actively murdered multiple women over the span of almost two decades, having been suspected of murdering up to 70 women. Although he appeared to be an idealistic family man, Ridgway had an infatuation with torturing and murdering runaways and prostitutes.

  It was 1982, and 20-year-old Rebecca Garde had just gotten off work at her job in Seattle, impatiently waiting for a bus in the chilly November air. With no buses in sight, Garde ultimately decided to hitchhike back home. It was then that Ridgway offered a ride to Garde, who didn’t appear to look suspicious, so she willingly hopped into his pick-up truck. 

  Sometime during the ride, Garde had offered the man $20 for sex, figuring she could use the money to buy marijuana. Although he accepted her offer, Garde began to get an odd feeling from the man, in which she asked to see his identification. After seeing his ID and a photo of his family, her worries became at ease. 

  When the two parked, Ridgway walked Garde in the woods for more privacy, being just a short distance away from a trailer park. Much to the surprise of Garde, Ridgway attempted to strangle her from behind, though she she gave her attacker a good fight. She slammed Ridgway into a tree, immediately running towards the trailer park and alerting authorities. 

  Though Garde didn’t initially report the attack, she eventually testified against Ridgway when he was caught in 2001, where he was sentenced to life imprisonment. Garde is his only survivor. 

  Bryan Hartnell

   The case of the Zodiac Killer is probably one of the most notable crimes to date, not only for the brutality of the crime, but that the perpetrator has never been identified even to this day.

  In 1969, couple Bryan Hartnell and Cecilia Shepherd were relaxing on the shore line on Lake Berryessa in Napa, California, when the duo were approached by a masked gunman who appeared to have been wearing a strange costume. Without warning, the two were then tied up and forced on their stomachs, where the gunman then repeatedly stabbed Hartnell and Shepherd in the back. 

  Hartnell and Shepherd were immediately taken to the hospital, where Shepherd was able to give a description of their attacker before passing away from her wounds. As for Hartnell, he surprisingly survived, though was obviously left distraught over the loss of his love. Though the Zodiac Killer has never been identified, Hartnell eventually went on to marry and have children of his own. 

[not-that-taliesin]

i love how many people identify with “butch werewolf” like i knew it wasn’t just me obviously but there are so many of y’all out here and it makes me feel so seen and understood

[shepard-headcanons]

1- What’s their full name? 

Kilian-Jane Arcturus Orion Shepard

2- What’s the reason/meaning behind their name?

She was born on the SSV Arcturus, and her parents decided to name her that, also mainly due to the fact that her father was a major nerd and wanted to give her the name ‘Kili’ though her mother negated that and chose Kilian, Arcturus was the name Hacket chose, and Orion was the name Anderson chose, Kahlee and Karin Chakwas chose Jane. So Hannah and John both decided to add that to Killian’s first name leaving Arcturus and Orion to be her middle name

3- Do they have a nickname? What’s the meaning behind it?

Babyface and Ice King, growing up on the SSV Arcturus, meant that babyface was something Kilian would grow used to…. you would think… The 'grunts/engineers’ came up with Babyface, and it just stuck. After a while, Hacket, Anderson and Kahlee started calling her Babyface in private as well. Kilian got the nickname Ice King after rejecting many relationship requests (of course, Kilian is absolutely oblivious in love and tends to reject others without realizing it much to the amusement of most of the SSV Arcturus crew)

4- Do they have a false name? Why? Does it have any meaning?

5- How old are they? How old do they appear?

Kilian turns 27 this year (?), but appears to look 18

6- What is their eye color? Do they have to use glasses or contacts? How good/bad is their vision?

Light Blue, originally it was Emerald green but exposure to Eezo at an early age changed her eye color to Light blue

7- What is their weight/height? What kind of body type/build do they have? 

Kilian is actually underweight, weighing at only 48kgs due to forgetting to eat and only binging on coffee alone. Dr.Chakwas usually has to remind her to eat, and that it is okay to eat. Kilian is 174cm

8- What is their skin tone/type? If they have fur, how long is it? Does it have any markings or patterns?

hm…. toned? I guess, it depends on lighting, if she’s on the normandy or so, her skin is radiant white, but if she’s else where then she’s usually pale white

9- Do they have any distinguishing marks?

Yeah, Kilian has a tattoo of her family tree on her back, due to Cerberus 'repairing’ her body, she had to get it redone when she went to the citadel. She also has a phoenix tattoo on her right arm, (something she got when she turned 15 on a dare, much to the annoyance of her parents, hacket, anderson, and Kahlee Saunders. Dr.Chakwas just found it hilarious)

10- What are their prominent features?

Her eyes.

11- How attractive are they to others?

Kilian usually gets a lot of fanmail requesting relationships quite often and to the normandy crew, all of them minus Grunt, Zaeed and Samara can at least testify that they’ve all fallen for Kilian once.

12- Are they healthy? If no, why not?

Nope. Kilian tends to skip meals quite often, to the point most of the crew, Hacket and Anderson have to remind her to eat.

13- What’s their favorite color? Why?

It changes everyday, so she doesn’t really have one

14- What’s their least favorite color? Why?

Depends on the day.

15- What’s their favorite music? Why?

Favorite Music Genre…. Classical, Kpop, Jpop and Jrock. Kilian loves the beat, as for classical, it gives her something to take her mind off.

16- What kind of food do they like or have to eat?

Ramen, Coffee, and Dango

17- What kind of books do they like to read?

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

18- How do they get around? 

Either through running or by bike. She got a bike custom-made from Earth as a present from her friends in Japan

19- Are they a daredevil or more cautious?

Dare Devil definitely. She especially loves defying reality much to the annoyance and worry of her friends and family.

20- How do they handle being alone?

With a good book, or a guitar she snuck on board.

21- Name any good habits they have

Kilian loves to create things, where as she's FINALLY learnt to cook, she prefers baking. Or singing. Depends really.

22- Name any bad habits they have

Smoking, really…. Kilian smokes quite a lot to deal with stress, but dislikes alcohol from the Galaxy preferring to drink earth Alcohol… (like vodka, whiskey or beer)

23- What are their favorite hobbies or pastimes? 

Writing/Creating music, and sometimes, she’ll go to the childrens ward on the Citadel hospital to read to children

24- How would they like to spend a rainy day? A sunny day?

Well…. Kilian tends to game heavily if she’s left to her own devices… if she’s done with reading to the kids on the citadel. So probably game

25- Where do they come from? What is their culture? Any traditions or things of that sort in their hometown?

Kilian’s mother and father both happen to be high up in the military so she grew up on ships, but her mothers family is Japanese and live in Tokyo, Japan where as her father’s family is American and live in California. She’s been to Earth before and visited both sides.

26- List out their immediate family. How good is their relationship with them?

Rear Adm. Hannah-Lee Shepard (nee. Akamine) :Mother

Commander Jonathan-Amicus Shepard :Father

Elias Jonathan Levi Shepard (brother)

Sakura Kya Shepard (sister)

Isabela Arabella Shepard (sister)

Kilian gets along well with her family, but being the youngest out of her family meant all of them are overprotective of her. Sometimes, it gets too much but she knows they love her so she lets it slide

27- Are they diurnal or nocturnal? Early bird or night owl?

Norturnal, Kilian has insomnia, and usually has to take medication for her to finally get to sleep due to night terrors of reapers and all. Kilian is NOT an early bird usually needing 3-4 cups of coffee before she can finally start her day off.

28- What are they afraid of? What are they not afraid of?

Does her mom count??? kidding, yeah no…. Kilian is afraid of failing others. 

29- What are their goals? How are they going to achieve those goals?

Killing the Reapers, and well…. she’s still on-going with that mission but she’ll let you know when she gets there.

30- Are there any obstacles that might get in the way of their goals?

The Citadel Council…. if they count.

31- How well known are they among the common folk? Is it for a good reason?

Kilian is well liked by many, managing to earn the respect of many. Kilian also tends not to take any Xenophobic crap aimed at anyone in her presence. Once, she knocked out an admiral for talking crap about Tali, Garrus, Wrex and Samara. Getting into trouble for the event, until the truth was found out.

32- Do they hold any secrets? What are they?

Kilian has an Asari-child that she didn’t know about, but after finding out that secret from her ex-lover, she provided everything for her child. Only Joker and Samara know of this secret as she told the both of them (mainly due to the fact that Joker is her bestfriend and it is hard to keep a secret from him, Samara found out about it when Kilian asked her for help using her code against her for it to remain a secret) aside from that no one else knows mainly due to the fact that it was hidden well, due to Kilian fearing that her child would be used by the council in order to get Kilian to do their bidding.

33- When confronted with danger, how would they react?

With major Sarcasm. She tends not to care most of the time, until it gets serious.

34- What is their species? Describe their species and their features

She’s a human…. nough said. :)

35- What is their basic story?

Born onto the SSV Arcturus, Kilian has lived a life of ship jumping… before meeting Joker and becoming the best of friends, both used to go around the citadel causing mischief, even managing to prank not only the consort but councillor Tevos as well, before mocking their security. Ofcourse due to them both pranking Sha'ira and Tevos, (somehow managing to dye their entire head bright neon pink, something that the entire SSV Arcturus crew were roaring in laughter at), they were both grounded… in which case Hacket had to ground them due to both their familiies and the SSV Arcturus crew in tears from laughing to hard. After that Kilian enlisted at the age of 15 being the youngest to ever enlist in the SA, before graduating at the age of 18. Kilian saved her squad-mates and the colony of mindoir before being awarded the star of terra. She became a commander at the age of 19. Surpassing both her parents and older siblings, she is well known for her nickname being Ice-King or Babyface. Much to her annoyance. Kilian is also the one who gave Joker his nickname.

[crimeandthyme]

the dating game killer

Rodney Alcala is a serial rapist and killer during the years 1968- 1979. His first known crime was when he lured Tali Shapiro (an 8 year old girl) into his apartment where he raped her then beat her with a steel pipe. The police were called when a man witnessed Rodney bring the girl to his apartment. He escaped before the police showed. He was then believed to be responsible for the rape and murder of a flight attendant. Later, he went under the name John Burger and became a counselor at a summer camp. Two children at the summer camp recognized his face off of a FBI most wanted poster. They told someone on the camp’s staff and he was then arrested. Because Tali’s parents moved and refused to allow their daughter to testify against him, Alcala got off with a lesser charge. In 1974, he was released and then kidnapped Julie J. (a 13 year old girl). He forced her into smoking marijuana and would kiss her. He was then only charged with providing a minor marijuana. Afterwards, he went to visit family in NYC. He was then believed to have murdered Ellen Jane Hover seeing as she was supposed to by meeting him when she disappeared. He was let go due to the fact they could not find her body. In 1978, he was one of the contestants on The Dating Game. He won the show but the girl refused to go out with him because he was so creepy. He then would go around convincing young girls and women that he was a fashion photographer and would get their pictures. most of these were either with nude women or with them in swim suits. Most of these women are unknown and many are possible rape victims. His last known victim was Robin Samsoe ( a 12 year old girl) who he kidnapped and murdered. After his arrest, they found a storage locker under his name full of the hundreds of photos he took of young girls and women as mentioned above. He went on trial for her murder and was then sentenced to death in 1980. The sentence was overturned twice. In 2010, he was tried for 4 more murders that he was connected to. He was found guilty on all accounts and is on death row. Later on, he confessed to two more murders and was sentenced with a life sentence on top of his already sentence of death row.

[expatimes]

The survivor's silence: Remembering the Nuremberg trials | Germany News

On November 20, 1945, several months after the end of World War II, a series of military tribunals began in the German city of Nuremberg.

The first of the trials was the Major War Crimes Trial, in which 22 high-ranking Nazis stood trial in the Palace of Justice. Twelve of the defendants would be sentenced to death.

A further 12 trials - known as the Subsequent Nuremberg Proceedings - were held at Nuremberg between 1946 and 1949.

Seventy-five years after the Nuremberg trials began, we hear from three people upon whose lives the trials and the events that proceeded them cast a long shadow: the son of one of those on trial, the son of one of the prosecutors and the daughter of a Holocaust survivor.

Tali Nates is the founder and director of the Johannesburg Genocide & Holocaust Center. Her father, Moses, was 14 years old when he was sent first to a forced labor camp and later to concentration camps.

Here, she describes what it was like to grow up in the shadow of the Holocaust:

As a child growing up in the 1960s, there was so much silence. Back then many survivors did not talk about what they had experienced. It was a coping mechanism - a need to focus not on the past but on rebuilding their lives.

My father never sat me down to share his memories. His pain and trauma was unspoken, he carried it quietly, but you could feel it and it would come out in his nightmares and fear of enclosed spaces.

In many ways, the silence was louder than any words could have been. There was so much pain in it.

He had lost his entire family, apart from his older brother - my Uncle Chanoch, or Henryk.

My uncle was the opposite of my father - he was the talker. He would say: “Sit down little one, let me tell you” and then share stories from his life.

Tali Nates with a picture of her father Moses Turner at the Johannesburg Holocaust & Genocide Center [Photo courtesy of Jono David]

Perhaps because they had lost their family, they were very close to other survivors. Although they were not blood relations, these people became our “uncles and aunts”. Together, they would speak about what happened “there” but using languages, like Polish, that I couldn't understand.

I think after the widely-publicized trial of Adolf Eichmann, one of the main organisers of the Holocaust, in Jerusalem in 1961, my father spoke a little more to others about what had happened to him. But he didn't share much with his children.

Here is what I do know.

My father's family was from a small town in southern Poland called Nowy Targ. It is a few hours from Krakow in the Tatra Mountains, close to Zakopane. It is a beautiful mountainous region full of small towns and villages, rivers and forests. It was a wonderful place to grow up in.

His family were lower-middle class and my grandfather had a fur business.

Zakopane, near where Moses Turner grew up [Photo courtesy of Tali Nates]

Burning the dead and lashes for potatoes

But then the war started and the Germans reached their town on the very first day. A ghetto was soon established and the Jewish community forced into its few streets.

In 1940, my father was sent to a forced labor camp in Zakopane to work in a stone quarry at the foot of the Krokiew mountain. He had to cut and carry stones in the place where he had once skied.

From there he was sent to Plaszow concentration camp in Krakow.

In Plaszow he was reunited with his brother. My uncle, who had been sent to Plaszow earlier, heard that a group of prisoners had arrived from Zakopane and found my father among them. They hadn't seen each other for more than two years. They hugged and cried and swore that they would never be parted again.

In the camp, they worked together as carpenters and builders.

Then, in 1944, the commandant of the camp, Amon Goeth, ordered that some of the prisoners would be tasked with opening up the mass graves in the camp where victims of the Holocaust had been buried. It was part of a Nazi plan to destroy the evidence of their crimes.

My father and uncle were part of Sonderkommando 1005, special groups of prisoners created for this purpose. They were forced to open the graves and burn the bodies that were inside them. They were given masks to cover their noses because the smell was so bad. My father was just 17 at the time.

Goeth was infamous for randomly shooting at inmates for fun. He once shot a man who was standing next to my uncle. From one day to the next, my father and uncle did not know if they would live or die.

Once, my father was sent out of the camp to work in some fields. Some Polish peasants had left potatoes for the inmates and my father took some of them. But he was searched and the potatoes were found. He was given 50 lashes as punishment. The wounds from the lashes left a permanent bump on the top of his head and later in life he suffered badly from headaches. He died of brain cancer in 1974. He was 48 years old.

Schindler's list

My father and uncle would probably have died during the Holocaust but for the help of Oskar Schindler, the German industrialist who saved the lives of 1,200 Jews by employing them in his factories.

My father and uncle were on page 10 of his list. They never found out how they got on it, but they were eventually moved to Brunnlitz, a camp created by Schindler where ammunition was supposedly made.

Page 10 of Schindler's list, with the names of Tali Nates's father and uncle - Moses and Henryk Turner - on it [Photo courtesy of Tali Nates]

But the Jews in this camp never finished making any ammunition. They worked but everything was deliberately sabotaged. There were guards outside, but Schindler never allowed them inside and was known to have paid bribes to members of the Schutzstaffel (SS) to prevent them from executing any of his workers.

My father and uncle loved Oskar Schindler and his wife Emilie. They told stories about how the Schindlers would give them food when they were starving. But even Schindler could not get enough food for 1,200 people. So in May 1945, when they were liberated by the Russians, my father weighed just 38kg.

My father and uncle decided to separate at liberation, with my father going through the displaced person's process with the United Nations, and eventually being sent to Freiburg in Germany to complete his education, while my uncle returned to his hometown to wait for his family. What he did not know then was that there was no family left. The two sisters of my father and uncle had been killed in Belzec death camp on August 30, 1942.

A sketch of Cela and Helen Turner, Moses Turner's sisters, who were killed in Belzec [Photo courtesy of Tali Nates]

What's in a name?

When I was born, in 1961, I was the first girl in the family since my father's sisters and mother were murdered. For my father and uncle, my birth brought great happiness and the feeling that I was going to replace the girls that had been lost. For them, I was like the memorial candle, the symbol of all the losses they had endured, of all that was no longer there.

My mother did not want to name me after anyone. She wanted me to have a name that had no painful connotations attached to it. But my father wanted to name me after one of his sisters.

They argued about it and I was nameless for a few days until they settled on a compromise - giving me the first name Tali, which had no connotations with the past, and the middle name Helen, after my father's oldest sister who was 16 when she was murdered. In that way, the burden of the dead and the hope for the future were both with me.

The children of survivors are often named after people who did not survive. Some don't even have pictures of the people whose names they carry.

The Believe memorial at the site of the Belzec camp in Poland, where Tali Nates's aunts were killed [Photo courtesy of Emmanuel Santos]

'Not just a courtroom'

I was in Nuremberg for the first time when I was invited by the International Nuremberg Principles Academy in 2016. It was a gathering of Holocaust educators from around the world. We spent a lot of time in courtroom 600, where the Nuremberg trials were held.

For the daughter of a survivor, Nuremberg is multilayered. It is the Nuremberg of the Nuremberg rallies and Leni Riefenstahl's propaganda films. It is the Nuremberg of Der Sturmer, the anti-Semitic newspaper. It is the Nuremberg of the Nuremberg laws of September 1935 that stripped German Jews of citizenship. It is the Nuremberg where the synagogue was burned on Kristallnacht. It is the Nuremberg of courtroom 600 and the Nuremberg trials.

Tali Nates (back row, second from right) with University of Cape Town student leaders, at Nuremberg courtroom 600 in 2017 [Photo courtesy of JHGC collection]

My father did not speak specifically about the Nuremberg trials but he believed in the need to obtain justice through legal channels. During the Eichmann trial, he was glued to the radio. My uncle believed in trials so much that he testified at a war crimes trial in Freiburg in the 1960s.

For many years, I took students to Poland to see the Nazi concentration camps and other sites related to the Holocaust. And then in 2015, I started to take student leaders from the University of Cape Town and the University of the Free State on study tours to Germany as well. To visit the Nuremberg courtroom was important for students from a country grappling with its own deeply unjust and painful past.

#world Read full article: https://expatimes.com/?p=14432&feed_id=18635

[kilianjaynehepard]

1- What’s their full name?

Kilian-Jane Arcturus Orion Shepard

2- What’s the reason/meaning behind their name?

She was born on the SSV Arcturus, and her parents decided to name her that, also mainly due to the fact that her father was a major lord of the rings nerd and wanted to give her the name ‘Kili’ though her mother negated that and chose Kilian, Arcturus was the name Hacket chose, and Orion was the name Anderson chose, Kahlee and Karin Chakwas chose Jane. So Hannah and John both decided to add that to Killian’s first name leaving Arcturus and Orion to be her middle names

3- Do they have a nickname? What’s the meaning behind it?

Babyface and Ice King, growing up on the SSV Arcturus, meant that babyface was something Kilian would grow used to…. you would think… The ‘grunts/engineers’ came up with Babyface, and it just stuck. After a while, Hacket, Anderson and Kahlee started calling her Babyface in private as well. Kilian got the nickname Ice King after rejecting many relationship requests (of course, Kilian is absolutely oblivious in love and tends to reject others without realizing it much to the amusement of most of the SSV Arcturus crew)

4- Do they have a false name? Why? Does it have any meaning?

5- How old are they? How old do they appear?

Kilian turns 27 this year (?), but appears to look 18

6- What is their eye color? Do they have to use glasses or contacts? How good/bad is their vision?

Light Blue, originally it was Emerald green but exposure to Eezo at an early age changed her eye color to Light blue. As for her vision, its 20/20. Due to Cerberus, she has better vision than most humans

7- What is their weight/height? What kind of body type/build do they have?

Kilian is actually underweight, weighing at only 48kgs due to forgetting to eat and only binging on coffee alone. Dr.Chakwas usually has to remind her to eat, and that it is okay to eat. Kilian is 174cm (note: Chakwas, has now had to intervene... so Kilian is now eating... with Chakwas’s threat of getting her mother involved if she doesn’t)

8- What is their skin tone/type? If they have fur, how long is it? Does it have any markings or patterns?

hm…. toned? I guess, it depends on lighting, if she’s on the normandy or so, her skin is radiant white, but if she’s else where then she’s usually pale white

9- Do they have any distinguishing marks?

Yeah, Kilian has a tattoo of her family tree on her back, due to Cerberus 'repairing’ her body, she had to get it redone when she went to the citadel. She also has a phoenix tattoo on her right arm, (something she got when she turned 15 on a dare, much to the annoyance of her parents, hacket, anderson, and Kahlee Saunders. Dr.Chakwas just found it hilarious)

10- What are their prominent features?

Her eyes.

11- How attractive are they to others?

Kilian usually gets a lot of fanmail requesting relationships quite often and to the normandy crew, all of them minus Grunt, Zaeed and Samara can at least testify that they’ve all fallen for Kilian once.

12- Are they healthy? If no, why not?

Nope. Kilian tends to skip meals quite often, to the point most of the crew, Hacket and Anderson have to remind her to eat.

13- What’s their favorite color? Why?

It changes everyday, so she doesn’t really have one

14- What’s their least favorite color? Why?

Depends on the day.

15- What’s their favorite music? Why?

Favorite Music Genre…. Classical, Kpop, Jpop and Jrock. Kilian loves the beat, as for classical, it gives her something to take her mind off.

16- What kind of food do they like or have to eat?

Ramen, Coffee, and Dango (Kilian is obsessed with Ramen, often tending to eat it when she can)

17- What kind of books do they like to read?

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

18- How do they get around?

Either through running or by bike. She got a bike custom-made from Earth as a present from her friends in Japan

19- Are they a daredevil or more cautious?

Dare Devil definitely. She especially loves defying reality much to the annoyance and worry of her friends and family.

20- How do they handle being alone?

With a good book, or a guitar she snuck on board.

21- Name any good habits they have

Kilian loves to create things, where as she's FINALLY learnt to cook, she prefers baking. Or singing. Depends really.

22- Name any bad habits they have

Smoking, really…. Kilian smokes quite a lot to deal with stress, but dislikes alcohol from the Galaxy preferring to drink earth Alcohol… (like vodka, whiskey or beer)

23- What are their favorite hobbies or pastimes?

Writing/Creating music, and sometimes, she’ll go to the childrens ward on the Citadel hospital to read to children

24- How would they like to spend a rainy day? A sunny day?

Well…. Kilian tends to game heavily if she’s left to her own devices… if she’s done with reading to the kids on the citadel. So probably game

25- Where do they come from? What is their culture? Any traditions or things of that sort in their hometown?

Kilian’s mother and father both happen to be high up in the military so she grew up on ships, but her mothers family is Japanese and live in Tokyo, Japan where as her father’s family is American and live in California. She’s been to Earth before and visited both sides.

26- List out their immediate family. How good is their relationship with them?

Rear Adm. Hannah-Lee Shepard (nee. Akamine) :Mother

Commander Jonathan-Amicus Shepard :Father

Elias Jonathan Levi Shepard (brother)

Sakura Kya Shepard (sister)

Isabela Arabella Shepard (sister)

Kilian gets along well with her family, but being the youngest out of her family meant all of them are overprotective of her. Sometimes, it gets too much but she knows they love her so she lets it slide

27- Are they diurnal or nocturnal? Early bird or night owl?

Norturnal, Kilian has insomnia, and usually has to take medication for her to finally get to sleep due to night terrors of reapers and all. Kilian is NOT an early bird usually needing 3-4 cups of coffee before she can finally start her day off.

28- What are they afraid of? What are they not afraid of?

Does her mom count??? kidding, yeah no…. Kilian is afraid of failing others.

29- What are their goals? How are they going to achieve those goals?

Killing the Reapers, and well…. she’s still on-going with that mission but she’ll let you know when she gets there.

30- Are there any obstacles that might get in the way of their goals?

The Citadel Council…. if they count.

31- How well known are they among the common folk? Is it for a good reason?

Kilian is well liked by many, managing to earn the respect of many. Kilian also tends not to take any Xenophobic crap aimed at anyone in her presence. Once, she knocked out an admiral for talking crap about Tali, Garrus, Wrex and Samara. Getting into trouble for the event, until the truth was found out.

32- Do they hold any secrets? What are they?

Kilian has an Asari-child that she didn’t know about, but after finding out that secret from her ex-lover, she provided everything for her child. Only Joker and Samara know of this secret as she told the both of them (mainly due to the fact that Joker is her bestfriend and it is hard to keep a secret from him, Samara found out about it when Kilian asked her for help using her code against her for it to remain a secret) aside from that no one else knows mainly due to the fact that it was hidden well, due to Kilian fearing that her child would be used by the council in order to get Kilian to do their bidding.

33- When confronted with danger, how would they react?

With major Sarcasm. She tends not to care most of the time, until it gets serious.

34- What is their species? Describe their species and their features

She’s a human…. nough said. :)

35- What is their basic story?

Born onto the SSV Arcturus, Kilian has lived a life of ship jumping… before meeting Joker and becoming the best of friends, both used to go around the citadel causing mischief, even managing to prank not only the consort but councillor Tevos as well, before mocking their security. Ofcourse due to them both pranking Sha'ira and Tevos, (somehow managing to dye their entire head bright neon pink, something that the entire SSV Arcturus crew were roaring in laughter at), they were both grounded… in which case Hacket had to ground them due to both their familiies and the SSV Arcturus crew in tears from laughing to hard. After that Kilian enlisted at the age of 15 being the youngest to ever enlist in the SA, before graduating at the age of 18. Kilian saved her squad-mates and the colony of mindoir before being awarded the star of terra. She became a commander at the age of 19. Surpassing both her parents and older siblings, she is well known for her nickname being Ice-King or Babyface. Much to her annoyance. Kilian is also the one who gave Joker his nickname.

[ebenvt]

Yunnan Xuanwei Ham (宣威火腿/xuān wēi huó tuǐ) Eben van Tonder 10 May 2020

Introduction

Xuanwei Han in Xuanwei City.  Reference China on the Way.

Yunnan is one of China’s premium food regions known for exquisite tastes. One of the major cities in this picturesque region is Xuanwei, where one of the world famous Chinese hams are produced, the others being Jinhua Ham from Zhejiang province and Rugao Ham from Jiangsu province. Yunnan Xuanwei Ham is known for its fragrance, appearance, and out-of-the-world taste.  Through the ages, there have been many references in literature to the health benefits associated with the hams. In order to produce these hams, there are at least two ingredients without which the hams can not be produced. The first ingredient is salt.

The Industrialisation of Ham

Early references to Xuanwei hams go back to 1766. “Old chronicles recorded the Qing emperor Yong Zheng five years (the year 1727) located XuanWei (a city of YunNan province, China), so it is called XuanWei ham. (China on the Way) In 1909, Zhuo Lin’s (Deng Xiaoping’s third wife) father Pu Zai Ting, a businessman, mass-produced it for the first time.  He established Xuanhe Ham Industry Company Limited.  His company sent food technicians to Shanghai, Guangzhou (formerly Canton), and Japan to learn advanced food processing technology.

One example of the excellence pursued in Guangzhou relates to the cultivation of rice.  Rice breeding began in China in 1906.  However, by 1919, systematic and well-targeted breeding using rigorous methodologies was started at Nanjing Higher Agricultural School and Guangzhou Agricultural Specialized School. Between 1919 and 1949, 100 different rice varieties were bred and released. (Mew, et al., 2003) For a riveting look at the trade in Guangzhou, see the work by Dr. Peter C. Perdue, Professor of History, Yale University, Canton Trade.

By all accounts, Pu Zaiting was successful in creating a world famous ham (at least by probably standardising and industrialising the process).  In 1915 Xuanwei ham won a Gold Medal at Panama International Fair. The ham, which, in the Qing and Ming Dynasties, was a necessary gift for friends and guests and which, during the gourmet festival, became the main ingredient to create different delicious dishes achieved international acclaim. (chinadaily.com)

The Xuanhe Canned Ham Industry Company Limited was established on the back of canning equipment bought from the United States of America to produce canned ham. Most of what it produced were exported overseas.  In 1923 Sun Yat-sen tasted the ham at the National Food Exhibition held in Guangzhou.  Sun famously wrote of the ham, “yin he shi de” translating as “eat well for a sound mind!”  By 1934, four companies were producing the canned ham. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Xuanwei Ham expanded greatly under the People’s Republic of China, established in 1949.  Supporting industries started to develop.  A factory was created to supply the cans used by the Municipal Authority of Kunming City. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Production of Xuanwei hams rose by 1999 to 13 000 tonnes, made by 38 large producers.  In 2001 it got the status of a regional brand, protected by the People’s Republic of China.  A Chinese standard, GB 18357-2003 was subsequently issued.  By 2004 production rose to 20,750 tonnes with technology in manufacturing and packaging improving continuously. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Apart from a rich and competitive environment, an entrepreneur, as the proverb goes, worth his salt, was needed to bring discipline to the production process and to establish this ham among the finest on earth.  In achieving this status, three elements were required, namely salt, the right meat and a solid production technique to yield this culinary masterpiece on an industrial scale.

Yunnan – Centre of Culinary Excellence

The first requirement for competitiveness is an environment of excellence and innovation.  The environment where this exquisite ham is produced testifies to culinary excellence.  Like Prague, which produced the ham press, nitrite curing and the famous Prague hams, the Yunnan hams likewise hail from an area replete with food and cooking innovations.   Yunnan is located on what was known as the Southern Silk Road and its culinary excellence is seen, among other things, in the equipment used in preparing their foods.   Joseph Needham, et al. reports that in restaurants in the cities of Yunnan, a very special dish is found “in which chicken, ham, meat balls and the like have been cooked in water just condensed from steam.  This is done by means of an apparatus called chhi  kuo (or formerly yang li kuo) made especially at Chien-shui near Kochiu.  It consists simply of a red earthenware pot with a domical cover, the bottom of the pot being pierced by a tapering chimney so formed as to leave on all sides an annular trough (figure 1490).  The chhi  kuo once placed on a saucepan of boiling water, steam enters from below and is condensed so as to fall upon and cook the viands of the trough, resulting thus after due process in something much better than either a soup or a stew in the ordinary sense.  Since the chimney tapers to a small hole at its tip no natural volatile substances are lost from the food, hence the name of the object and the purpose of its existence.  The chhi  kuo must claim to be regarded as a distant descendant of the Babylonian rim-pot (for it has and needs no Hellenistic side-tube) with the ancient rim expanded to form a trough, compressing the ‘still’-body to a narrow chimney.  But how the idea found its way through the ages, and from Mesopotamia to Yunnan, might admit of a wide conjecture.”  (Needham, et al.,1980)

The second essential ingredient for a salt-cured ham is salt.  Salt is something that China has been specialising in for thousands of years and which became the backbone of the creation of this legend.

Salt in China

Flad, et al. (2005) showed that salt production was taking place in China on an industrial scale as early as the first millennium BCE at Zhongba.  “Zhongba is located in the Zhong Xian County, Chongqing Municipality, approximately 200 km down-river along the Yangzi from Chongqing City in central China.  Researchers concluded that “the homogeneity of the ceramic assemblage” found at this site “suggests that salt production may already have been significant in this area throughout the second millennium B.C..”   Significantly, “the Zhongba data represent the oldest confirmed example of pottery-based salt production yet found in China.”  (Flad, et al.; 2005)

Salt-cured Chinese hams have been in production since the Tang Dynasty (618-907AD). First records appeared in the book Supplement to Chinese Materia Medica by Tang Dynasty doctor Chen Zangqi, who claimed ham from Jinhua was the best. Pork legs were commonly salted by soldiers in Jinhua to take on long journeys during wartime, and it was imperial scholar Zong Ze who introduced it to Song Dynasty Emperor Gaozong. Gaozong was so enamored with the ham’s intense flavour and red colour he named it huo tui, or ‘fire leg’. (SBS) An earlier record of ham than Jinhua-ham is Anfu ham from the Qin dynasty (221 to 206 BCE).

In the middle ages, Marco Polo is said to have encountered salt curing of hams in China on his presumed 13th-century trip. Impressed with the culture and customs he saw on his travels, he claims that he returned to Venice with Chinese porcelain, paper money, spices, and silks to introduce to his home country. He claims that it was from his time in Jinhua, a city in eastern Zheijiang province, where he found salt-cured ham.  Whether one can accept these claims from Marco Polo is, however, a different question.

Salt Production In and Around Yunnan

When it comes to salt, only a very particular variety is called on to create this legend.

Yunnan-Guizhou Plateau

Around the Yunnan-Guizhou plateau are three salt producing areas which took advantage of the expansion of China towards the west in the early modern era.  “Szechwan with a slow but steady advance; Yunnan with the speed and initiative characteristic of a developing mining area; Mongolia with a sudden, temporary eruption.”  (Adshead, 1988) As fascinating as Szechwan and Mongolia are, we leave this for a future consideration and hone in on Yunnan.

Szechwan not only supplied its own requirements for salt, but also that of Kweichow, Yunnan (trade started in 1726) and western Hupei. Despite the fact that Yunnan imported salt from Szechwan and possibly from Kwangtung, this was mainly to supply its eastern regions of the escarpment. On the plateau it had salt resources of its own.  By 1800, it is estimated that it produced 375 000 cwt (hundredweight).”These salines formed three groups:  Pei-ching in the west near Tali the old indigenous capital; the Mo-hei-ching or Shihi-koa ching in the south near Szemao close to Laotian and Burmese borders; Hei-ching in the east near the provincial capital Kunming. (Adshead, 1988) It is this last group that captures our imagination due to the connection with the Yunnan hams.

Although known as ching or wells, many of the Yunnan salines, especially those in the Mo-hei-ching group, were in the nature of shafts or mines, though the low grade rock salt was generally turned into brine and evaporated over wood fires.  The growth of the Yunnan salines in the Ch’ing period was the product of two forces. First, Chinese mining enterprise, often Chinese Muslim enterprise, which in the 18th century was turning Yunnan into China’s major source of base materials – copper, tin and zinc.  Second, the extension of direct Chinese rule into the area, the so-called kai-t’u kuei-liu, initiated particularly by the Machu governor-general O-er-t’ai between 1725 and 1732. (Adshead, 1988)

The distant past of Heijin comes to us, courtesy of Yunnan Adventure Travel, who writes that “the unearthed relics of stones, potteries, and bronze wares have proved that as early as 3,200 years ago, ancestors of some minority groups already worked and multiplied on this land. It’s recorded in the “Annals of Heijin” that, a local farmer lost his cattle when grazing on the mountain, he finally found his black cattle near a well; but to his surprise, when it lipped the soil around the well, salt appeared; thus in order to memorize the black well, the place was nicknamed as “Heiniu Yanjin” which means the black cattle and the salt well. It’s shortly referred to as Heijin afterwards.”   (www.yunnanadventure.com) Some accounts of the story have it that it was a Yi girl who was looking for her missing oxen when she came upon them licking salt from the black well.

Who better to take us on a tour of the old town than a seasoned traveller!  We meet such a wanderer in the old city of Heijin in the person of Christy Huang.  She takes us on an epic adventure, discovering the old salt kingdom of  Hei-ching.  She posted it on Monday, November 30th, 2015 and she called her post “Old Towns of Yunnan, Heijing.”  

Christy writes that “the quite fameless Old Town of Heijing (黑井古镇) – today one of the nicest in Yunnan – used to be famous for the high-quality salt which was produced there since hundreds of years. The once most important town of Yunnan is hidden at the banks of Longchuan River in Lufeng County of Chuxiong Prefecture of Yunnan.

Salt production in bigger scale began in the Tang Dynasty (618-907) and peaked during the Ming (1368–1644) and Qing (1644–1912) Dynasties. Besides the overall beautiful picture of Hejing and its surroundings, there are a couple of scenic spots worth mentioning:

Courtyard of Family Wu,

Ancient Salt Workshop,

Dalong Shrine, as well as,

Heiniu Salt Well.

The Courtyard of Family Wu used to be the residence of former salt tycoon of Heijing Old Town. The mansion was built during 21 years in mid 19th century and is formed in the shape of the Chinese character wang (王), which means king. It has 108 rooms, which have been left more or less unchanged. Today it serves as an (expensive) hotel for Heijing visitors.

The Ancient Salt Workshop was Heijing’s core place and fortune fountain. The remaining huge water wheels and stages for making salt testify the great prosperity of the bygone times. The salt produced in Heijing is as white as snow. It was and is used for preserving Yunnan’s well-known Xuanwei Ham.” (Christy Huang, 2015)

Wujin pig

The third ingredient in the production of Yunnan Xuanwei Ham is the pigs. Traditionally, the rear legs of the Wujin pig breed are used.  The breed is known for its high-fat content, muscle quality and thin skin (chinadaily.com).

The breed is usually kept outdoors and is typical in the Xuanwei region. They are normally fed on corn flour, soybean, horse bean, potato, carrot, and buckwheat.  They are slow growers, but their meat is of superb quality.

Li Yingqing and Guo Anfei (China Daily) wrote a great article about these pigs for the Yunnan China Daily entitled “Yunnan’s little black pig by the Angry River.”

They write that “there is a quiet little revolution taking place by the banks of Nujiang River, the “angry river”, the upper stretch of the famous Mekong as it passes the narrow gorges near Lijiang. Here, little black pigs wander freely by steep meadows, grazing on wild herbs and foraging as freely as wild animals. They are relatively small, compared to their bigger cousins bred in farms. These sturdy little animals are reared for about two to three years before they are slaughtered and made into the region’s organic hams – called black hams for their deep-colored crusts.” (Yingqing and Anfei)

Li Yingqing and Guo Anfei report on “Wang Yingwen, a 47-year-old farmer who has raised the black pigs for more than 30 years, says the pigs are fed spring water and they live on wild fruits, mushrooms and ants on mountains, an all-organic diet if there was one. (Yingqing and Anfei)

With increased industrialisation came the demand for a faster growing animal. Wujin pigs were being crossed with Duroc (USA), Landrace (Denmark), and York (UK) to achieve faster growth. Wujin x Duroc were crossbred.  Other crossbreeds are York x (Wujin x Duroc) and DLY (Duroc x (Landrace x York). Yang and Lu (1987) found that the cross itself does not materially influence the quality of the ham as long as the breed contains 25% Wujin blood. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

In Xuanwei City, pig production is big business! In 2004, the city loaned 120 million yuan to breeders.  By this date, the city had 31 breeding facilities each yielding 3000 pigs annually. There were an additional 9600 small breeding facilities.  356 Animal hospitals support the breeding and husbandry operations.  In Xuanwei City, 1.2 million pigs were sold in that year.  (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Consumers want a great product (consistency, despite volumes offered by industrialised processes) and a great story (focussing on the ancient history of the process and ham itself).  Work to accomplish this was funded by the Yunnan Scientific Department, the Yunnan Education Department and Xuanwei City Local Government who all promoted the continued development of the Yunnan Xuanwei Ham (宣威火腿/xuān wēi huó tuǐ). (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016) Modern processing methods moved away from seasonal production and embraced modern processing technology, but the great legends of the past remain as well as tailor-made production techniques catering for year-round production.

Processing Yunnan Xuanwei Ham

The Xuanwei climate explains the production methods used, as is the case with all the great hams around the world. Xuanwei City is located on a low-latitude plateau mansoon climatic area where the north sub-torrid zone, the southern temperature zone, and the mid-temperature zone coexist.  Winter lasts from November to January and spring occurs from February to April. February, March, April is sunny and clear and this leads to a low relative humidity during these months. From March to September it is overcast and rainy, and the relative humidity is comparatively high.  Winter  is the best time to salt the hams according to the old methods to limit microactivity till salt dehydrates the meat and reduces the water activity.  The rainy season is best for fermenting the ham. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Production

As in all meat processing, making the hams start with good meat selection.  The process starts in the winter.  The animal is killed and all the blood pressed out by hand. Animals are between 90 and 130 kg (live weight) when slaughtered.

by Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016

A simple flow chart is given by Kristbergsson and Oliveira (2016).

Slaughtering and Trimming

Boiling water and scraping the pig’s hair. Reference: China on the Way.

Traditionally Xuanwei people kill the pigs usually before the last frost.  They add boiling water to a wok and scrape the pig’s hair.  Some people refer to killing the pig as washing the pig. For villagers, the killing of the pig is a sacred ceremony. (China on the Way)

The hind leg is trimmed into an oval shape in the form of a Chinese musical instrument, the pipa.  The legs of small pigs are cut in the form of a leaf. The legs cut off along the last lumbar vertebra.   After the blood is pressed out, the meat is held for ripening in a cold room at a temperature of 4 to 8 deg C, relative humidity of 75% for 24 hours. Ripened legs are known as green hams. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016) This step is an enigma to me since I am not sure what is accomplished in such a short period of time.  My guess is that it is not technically ripening, but rather allowing any excess fluids to drain out.  I will keep interrogating the processing steps to ensure that my sources have the right information.

Cutting and trimming the leg: China on the Way.

Salting

The First Salting: China on the Way.

The green hams are then salted.  The salt is a mixture of table salt (25g/kg of leg) and sodium nitrite (0.1g/kg leg).  (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016) The inclusion of sodium nitrite is without question a modern development since nitrite curing of meat only became popular after World War I.  My instinct tells me that they originally only used salt and later, possibly, sodium nitrate, the production of which has been done for very long in Chinese history.

The salt is rubbed into the hams by hand massaging for around 5 minutes. “The salted hams are then stacked in pallets and held in a cold room at 4 to 8 deg C, 75 to 85% relative humidity for 2 days.  Salting procedure is then repeated.”  The salt ratios are this time changed to table salt of 30g/kg ham and sodium nitrite is kept at 0.1g/kg leg. The meat is rested for a further 3 days in the chiller after which another salting is done. The ratio of this salting is 15g of table salt per kg of ham and again, sodium nitrite is kept at 0.1g per kg ham. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Kneeing the hams as salt is rubbed in by hand: China on the Way.

According to Li Yingqing and Guo Anfei, “traditionally made hams are cured with half the salt used in factories. Instead, they are allowed to dry-cure for at least eight months to about three years, so the meat has time to mellow and mature.” “The longer the ham is cured, the better the quality and the most popular product now is the three-year-old cured ham.”

Double Salted Hams: China on the Way.

Drying

The hams are then hung in the drying room with a temperature of 10 to 15 deg C and relative humidity of between 50 and 60%. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)  Note how the temperature is increased and the relative humidity decreases to facilitate drying from the inside, out.

The excess salt is brushed away and the hams are dried for 40 days. Windows are kept open to facilitate air movement to air drying.  Screens are placed in front of openings to prevent flies, other insects and birds from entering.  If drying is too fast, a crust will form on the outside of the ham and if it is done too quick, the inside will not be dried and will spoil.  If drying is done too long, the meat will be too dry to accommodate the lactic acid bacteria which will be involved in the fermentation process.

Li Yingqing and Guo Anfei reports on the traditional way that drying was done. “If you visit the villages by Nujiang, you may chance upon a strange sight in winter, when the hams are hoisted high on trees so they can catch the best of the drying winds. These trees with hocks of ham hanging from them seem to bear strange fruit indeed.”

Fermentation

Drying and Fermentation: China on the Way.

After drying, the temperature is raised to 25 deg C. Relative humidity is pushed up to 70% and ideal conditions are created for fermentation. This process lasts for 180 days. Apart from creating an ideal condition for microbes, raising the temperature and humidity favours enzymatic activity, which is important in flavour development due to the partial decomposition of lipids (fat) and proteins. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Traditionally, the fermentation process takes more than ten months.  When the surface is completely green, the hams are ready: China on the Way.

Aging

“Xuanwei ham is like good wine: the older the better. A ham that’s been aged at least 3 years can be eaten raw like prosciutto di parma.”

Control of Pests

During the curing and drying stages, flies pose a major risk. During fermentation and storage ham moths and mites (eg. tyrophagus putrescentiae) are the major danger. Relative humidity of over 80% attracts flies such as Piophila casei, Dermestes carnivorus beetle and mites. “There has been considerable work done in controlling mite infestation. Microorganisms such as the Streptomyces strain s-368 help prevent and treat mite investigation.”  (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Evaluation

Bone needles or bamboo needles are used to insert it into three specific sites to check the ham. The smell tells the evaluator if the ham is ready: China on the Way.

Xuanwei hams are evaluated by sensory evaluation. The odor is absorbed by a bamboo stick, used for the evaluation.  This is the most traditional absorption method to classify different ham grades.  For a detailed discussion and evaluation of this method, see Xia, et. al (2017), Categorization of Chinese Dry-Cured Ham Based on Three Sticks Method by Multiple Sensory Techniques

Storage

Storage is done under ambient conditions and the hams can be stored between 2 and 3 years.

A caravan travelling along an ancient road.  Pu Zaiting must have been driving just such a caravan, journeying from north and south: China on the Way.

 Physiochemical Indices

by Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016

“The physical and chemical properties of dry-cured ham are important determinants of its quality (Jiang et al. 1990 ; Careri et al. 1993 ). The lean portion of Xuanwei ham contains 30.4 % protein, 10.9 % fat, 10.3 % amino acids, 42.2 % moisture, and 8.8 % salt (Jiang et al. 1990 ). The whole ham contains 17.6 % protein, 29.1 % fat, 5.6 % amino acids, 24.8 % moisture, and 3.3 % salt (Jiang et al. 1990 ). Many essential elements are present in the ham as are some vitamins. The ham is particularly rich in vitamin E (45 mg/100 g). The characteristic bright red color of Xuanwei ham is mainly attributed to oxymyoglobin and myoglobin. The flavor and taste are associated with the presence of various amino acids and volatile organic compounds . The volatile substances present in Xuanwei ham have been extensively studied (Qiao and Ma 2004 ; Yao et al. 2004 ). Seventy-five compounds were tentatively identified in the volatile fraction. The compounds identified included hydrocarbons, alcohols, aldehydes, ketones, organic acids, esters, and other unspecified compounds.” (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Microflora

The dominant microorganism on the surface of dry cured hams is mold, which affects quality. During the ripening stage, molds play an important and positive role in flavour and appearance.  A study of Iberian dry-cured hams showed that yeasts are predominant during the end of the maturing phase of production whereas Staphylococcus and Micrococcus are absent. This surface yeast population has been shown to be useful for estimating the progress of maturation.  Its contribution to curing is suggested to be their proteolytic or lipolytic activity. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

In Xuanwei hams, researchers have shown Streptomyces bacteria to dominate and account for almost half of the Actinomycetes.  Aspergilli and Penicillia are common on the surface of Xuanwei hams during June to August. They found 8 species of Aspergillus. A. fumigatus was found to be dominant and accounts for one third of Aspergilli. Generally speaking, a high relative humidity encourages mold development on the surface of the hams.  (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

The dominant fungi found on Xuanwei hams is yeast.  Yeast can be 50% of the total microorganisms found on mature dry-cured hams. Proteolytic and lipolytic activity of yeast is desirable.  Towards the end of maturation, yeast dominates on dry-cured hams. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Which species to be found during the different stages of production depends on temperature and relative humidity. In the Xuanwei region, humidity and temperature are highest during the rainy season. Molds occur almost exclusively on the surface of the hams. Aspergilli and Penicillia occur mostly during May when relative humidity and temperature are high. These fungi peak in July and August. Molds begin to grow in May and are well established by June.  Spores are formed in August and September. The quantity of spores falls off gradually in September. (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

“The growth of bacteria and Actinomycetes does not seem to be dependent on humidity in the curing room. Levels of bacteria are generally lower than levels of yeast. According to Wang, et al. (2006) yeast on ham multiplies exponentially from the beginning of the salting stage to reach a peak in April, and then the numbers drop and stabilise to around 2 x 107 cfu/g.Yeast levels within the ham show similar variation as the surface yeast. According to Wang et al. (2006) yeast accounts for 60 to 70% of the total microbial population on the surface of the ham. In some cases, no molds have been found growing on the surface of good-quality ham; therefore, some researchers believe that molds do not play a direct role in determining the quality of dry-cured ham, but an opposing view also prevails.” (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

“According to the traditional view, high quality Xuanwei ham must have “green growth”  (i.e. molds) on it. However, fungi such as Penicillia , Fusarium , and Aspergilli are known to produce mycotoxin in foods such as dry-cured Iberian ham (Núñez et al. 1996 ; Cvetnić and Pepeljnjak 1997 ; Brera et al. 1998 ; Erdogan et al. 2003 ). More than 15 % of the mold strains examined were found to produce mycotoxins in Xuanwei ham (Wang et al. 2006 ). The toxins penetrated to a depth of 0.6 cm in the ham muscle. Because most of the fungi that occur on ham have not been examined for producing mycotoxins , contamination with toxins might be more prevalent than is realized.” (Kristbergsson and Oliveira, 2016)

Feasting

“The ham must be flame burned and washed before eating, in order to remove the rancid taste.” (China on the Way.)

Flame treatment: China on the Way.

There are an infinite variety of ways to serve the ham.  It can be steamed, boiled, fried, or used as accessories. Old legs can be eaten raw. When cooking, cook either the whole ham or large cuts on a slow fire or slow boil it to retain the flavour.

China on the Way.

Further Reading

Traditional Foods, Kristbergsson, K., Oliveira

—————————————————————–

Reference

Adshead, S. A. M..  1992.  Salt and Civilization. Palgrave.

chinadaily.com Updated: June 26, 2019

China on the Way, XuanWei Ham

Flad, R., Zhu, J., Wang, C., Chen, P., von Falkenhausen, L., Sun, Z., & Li, S. (2005). Archaeological and chemical evidence for early salt production in China. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 102(35), 12618–12622. http://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0502985102

Huang, Christy.  2015.  Old Towns of Yunnan, Heijing.  

Kristbergsson, K., Oliveira, J. (Editors). 2016.  Traditional Foods: General and Consumer Aspects. Springer.

Mew, T. W., Brar, D. S., Peng, S., Dawe, D., Hardy. B. (Editors). 2003. Rice Science: Innovations and Impact for Livelihood. International Rice Institute (IRRI).

Needham, J., Ping-Yu, H., Gwei-Djen, L..  1980. Sivin, N..   Science and Civilisation in China: Volume 5, Chemistry and Chemical Technology. Cambridge University Press.

SBS – http://www.sbs.com.au/food/article/2017/04/30/over-1000-years-ham-heres-where-it-all-began

http://www.yunnanadventure.com/index.php/Attraction/show/id/153.html

https://yunnan.chinadaily.com.cn/2012-01/16/content_14500704.htm

http://www.chinaontheway.com/xuanwei-ham/?i=1

Xia, D., Zhang, D. N., Gao, S. T., Cheng, L., Li, N., Zheng, F. P., Liu, Y..  2017. Categorization of Chinese Dry-Cured Ham Based on Three Sticks Method by Multiple Sensory Techniques Volume 2017, ID 1701756 https://doi.org/10.1155/2017/1701756

  Yunnan Xuanwei Ham (宣威火腿/xuān wēi huó tuǐ) Yunnan Xuanwei Ham (宣威火腿/xuān wēi huó tuǐ) Eben van Tonder 10 May 2020 Introduction Yunnan is one of China's premium food regions known for exquisite tastes.

[kerahlekung]

Ada menteri takut digugur...

Ada menteri takut digugur....

Tun M pernah berkata jemaah menterinya lemah sebab kebanyakannya tidak pernah jadi menteri, ada pembantu siang malam, ada orang buka pintu motokar, cuma tidak ada orang suap makanan ke mulut saja. Seperti rusa masuk kampung mereka terpukau dengan kuasa, menjadi merak dan megah bila mendapat perhatian dan penghormatan sebagai YB berstatus menteri. Mereka jangan lupa Allah dan rakyat yang merestui PH berkuasa. Kalau mereka berasa megah dengan kereta terbang, kasut hitam, menjaja koyok kepada rakyat alamat PH akan hilang harapan selepas PRU 15.

Rakyat sudah nampak pekung, kudis buta dan politik onani (syok sendiri) sebahagian besar menteri dan timbalan menteri.  Rupa-rupanya politik onani pun berjangkit pada para pegawai pilihan berbagai menteri dan timbalan menteri, termasuk yang menjadi kadam di pejabat Perdana Menteri. Tun M pun sedar dalam usia 94 tahun beliau bukan Superman seperti dulu waktu memimpin UMNO/BN. Kali ini keempat parti tidur satu kelambu dan satu bantal tapi mimpi lain-lain. Ada mimpi tok pek kong, ada mimpi jantan gay, ada angan-angan melangit hendak jadi TPM tapi tuah tiada.

Tun M mengejar waktu hendak menunaikan amanah Allah dan janji-janji kepada rakyat. Malangnya kebanyakan menterinya menggilap bulan dan bintang mengejar waktu memperkasakan kuasa mereka yang dipinjamkan Allah untuk penggal ini. Maaf cakap jemaah menteri sekarang dengan kabilah para pegawai yang syok sendiri, merak mabuk tapai, sukar bagi PH melanjutkan kuasanya selepas PRU 15. Tun M perlu bertindak super bijaksana, cepat bertindak mencari jalan terbaik mengatasi kelemahan para jemaah menterinya. Tali hayat politik PH bukan berpaut pada jemaah menterinya atau PH tetapi hanya pada Tun M. - Yahaya Ismail

Azmin tak kebal dari tindakan 

tapi selalu beri sebab - Anwar

Presiden PKR Anwar Ibrahim berkata timbalannya Mohamed Azmin Ali 'tidak kebal' daripada tindakan disiplin selepas sekali lagi gagal menghadirkan diri pada mesyuarat Majlis Pimpinan Pusat (MPP) parti itu hari ini. Bagaimanapun katanya beliau menyerahkan kepada lembaga disiplin parti untuk menyiasat perkara itu. "Setakat ini belum perlu apa-apa tindakan terhadapnya, (namun) beliau tidak kebal daripada tindakan. Tetapi beliau selalu beri sebab kenapa tidak hadir mesyuarat. "Memang ada dalam peraturan parti kalau tidak hadir mesyuarat tiga kali berturut-turut tanpa sebab, gugur jawatannya. Kadang kala orang cuba beri sebab, jadi Lembaga Disiplin kena siasat sebab itu betul atau tidak," katanya di Kuala Terengganu hari ini. Menurut Anwar, semua pimpinan parti dikehendaki menghadiri mesyuarat dan gesaan itu sudah mencukupi. 

Mesyuarat MPP: Azmin tak datang lagi, kehadiran, ZERO. Zuraida sibuk. Amirudin lari. 

Macam mana mintak Presiden satukan parti bila kortel sendiri tak datang? 

"Esok kita ada mesyuarat pimpinan tertinggi parti, mesyuarat bulanan dan selang seminggu, mesyuarat Biro Politik. Jadi, semua pimpinan diminta hadir," katanya. Terdahulu, Azmin dan beberapa pemimpin PKR yang dilihat memihak kepadanya sekali lagi tidak hadir pada mesyuarat parti itu yang dipengerusikan Anwar hari ini. Ketikdakhadiran mereka pada beberapa mesyuarat parti itu sebelum ini dikaitkan dengan pergesaran dalaman, melibatkan kedua-dua pemimpin berkenaan. Mengulas dakwaan wujud dua kem dalam PKR, Anwar menafikannya dan mengatakan ia hanyalah persepsi media semata-mata. - mk

SRC Trial - Any 1st year law student can use to nail Najib and send the crook to jail...

Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) revealed on Thursday (August 22) that only former Prime Minister Najib Razak had an interest in the misappropriation SRC International Sdn Bhd’s funds. His partner-in-crime Jho Low (full name: Low Taek Jho), meanwhile, has no interest at all. However, defence lawyer Harvinderjit Singh was not happy with the MACC’s testimony. Staring at a defeat, Najib’s lawyer can do very little but disgracefully put words in the mouth of the anti-corruption agency, arguing – unconvincingly – that the misappropriation of SRC funds was done by Jho Low and his allies. Mr. Najib is facing 7 charges, of which 3 are for criminal breach of trust, one for abuse of power and 3 for money laundering involving SRC International funds totalling RM42 million. The defence attorney had argued that Najib was not involved in any withdrawals of funds from SRC, based on the transcript of the BlackBerry Message (BBM). He must have thought the High Court Judge Mohd Nazlan Mohd Ghazali was as dumb as a rock. Even a Bangladeshi who didn’t go to school can see the stupidity of the lawyer’s argument. Just because Jho Low had deliberately kept Najib Razak, his boss whom he referred to as “Optimus Prime”, in the dark about the operations of his bank accounts with Ambank does not mean the former premier was innocent. To keep Najib out of the loop was actually to protect the former Malaysian leader – by providing him with “plausible deniability”. It’s the ability of the (former) prime minister to deny knowledge of or responsibility for any damnable actions committed by others in an organizational hierarchy, even if Najib Razak was personally involved in or at least wilfully ignorant of the actions. Can you imagine monthly banking statements addressed to Najib got lost and ended up with the oppositions? The defence team’s argument makes perfect sense only if their client had not spent any of the money in the SRC funds, or had lodged at least a single complaint to Ambank about dubious transactions, or made a police report upon learning that RM42 million was deposited into his personal bank accounts, or didn’t use the money to pay his credit cards and the list goes on. But the Liar-in-Chief had done not a single thing that could convince the High Court, let alone the public, that Jho Low was the ultimate mastermind who had scammed Najib Razak. After 56 days of Najib’s SRC trial involving 57 witnesses, the defence still could not establish that fugitive Low Taek Jho was solely responsible for the embezzlement activities in SRC International.

First of all, it has been established in the court the money trail from SRC International to subsidiary companies Gandingan Mentari Sdn Bhd and Ihsan Perdana Sdn Bhd. Subsequently, a total of RM42 million from Ihsan Perdana made its way into two personal accounts of Najib between December 2014 and February 2015 – in three tranches of RM27 million, RM5 million, and RM10 million. It has also been established that SRC was funded from RM4 billion loans from retirement fund KWAP. Afidah Azwa Abdul Aziz (Finance Ministry’s Strategic Investment Division deputy secretary) has told the court that she had to rush the preparation of Cabinet documents to guarantee the loan because it was “orders from above” and “SRC is the PM’s company.” Secondly, it was exposed how Najib, who happened to be the Finance Minister as well, had modified the constitution of SRC International Sdn. Bhd. at an extraordinary general meeting (EGM) to make him the “adviser emeritus” of the company – indirectly gave Mr. Najib control of the company, which was a wholly-owned subsidiary of 1Malaysia Development Berhad (1MDB). Thirdly, Uma Devi, AmBank Jalan Raja Chulan branch manager, had testified that Mr. Najib took no action and made no complaint from 2011 to 2015 despite irregularities in the signatures of signatories he appointed via authorisation letters to the bank. Ms Uma also confirmed that all cheques in Najib’s accounts can only be signed by him, not even SRC CEO Nik Faisal. Fourthly, Dr Shamsul Anwar Sulaiman, managing director of shelf company Ihsan Perdana revealed that Najib Razak was “shocked and upset” when he told the then-prime minister in July 2015 that millions had been banked into his personal bank accounts. Yet, the so-called shocked and upset Najib did not instruct him to lodge a report either with the police or the MACC. Fifthly, Najib mysteriously sacked (former) Attorney General Abdul Gani Patail on July 27, 2015, the same month that the former premier dropped his jaw in shock when told someone had banked in RM42 million to his bank accounts. After the sacking of A.G. Gani Patail, retired judge Mohamed Apandi Ali was appointed and would proceed to declare Najib’s innocence. Not only did the despicable A.G. Apandi Ali disbanded the special task force set up to investigate the US$681 million (RM2.6 billion) found in Najib’s personal bank accounts and state-owned SRC International, the then-premier had also fired Deputy PM Muhyiddin Yassin and UMNO vice president Shafie Apdal, not to mention replacing Special Branch Chief Akhil Bulat. Sixthly, a chat message using BlackBerry from Najib to Jho Low proves that the former PM knew and was in absolute control of his bank accounts. The message reads – “My platinum cards are not going through Jho. Can you call AmBank Visa and Mastercard right away? Thanks.” The message was forwarded immediately to Joanna Yu Ging Ping, Najib’s relationship liaison manager at Ambank, for her prompt action. Exactly how could Najib claim innocence when he personally instructed Jho Low to fix his credit card problems, which were declined in a Chanel store in Hawaii, as he attempted to swipe his credit card for a US$100,000 purchase in the store on Dec 23, 2014 (it was the same time Najib jetted to Honolulu to play golf with U.S. President Barack Obama)?

Seventhly, Najib had written dozens of cheques from his bank accounts, despite his lawyer claiming he was not responsible for the misappropriation of money from SRC International. One has to remember that SRC CEO Nik Faisal cannot take money out of Najib’s account because the former prime minister is the sole signatory to issue cheques from his own current accounts. As revealed by Ambank relationship manager Joanna Yu, a total of RM12.3 million cash was deposited over the counter between June 2014 and March 2015 to ensure that cheques issued by then-PM Najib Razak did not bounce. Since when do you see a scammer (Jho Low) would actively ensure the victim’s bank accounts have enough cash to prevent cheques from being dishonoured? Amongst others, witness Zulkarnain Mohamad testified that his company ABS Trend Master Sdn Bhd had received a RM100,000 cheque for renovation works carried out in Najib’s private residence at Jalan Langgak Duta – including the building of a dry kitchen, clothes cabinet, a 12,000 litre water tank and pantry. Heck, even his son – Norashman Najib – was gifted with US$70,000 cash from the ill-gotten RM42 million. Eighthly, the SRC trial also unveiled that Najib’s Platinum Mastercard and Platinum Visa issued by AmBank had been overdrawn thanks to a RM3,320,670.65 purchase of jewellery in September 2014. Coincidentally and conveniently, all those credit card expenses were paid with the RM42 million transferred from Ihsan Perdana into Najib’s personal bank account. Ninethly, hotshot lawyer Shafee could not explain why his client, Najib Razak, closed three bank accounts about a month after he transferred millions of Ringgit to other beneficiaries. That was on 9 March, 2015 – more than 3 years before he lost power in the May 2018 general election. Are we supposed to believe that Najib did not check his account balances before closing them? Last but not least, witnesses have testified that Najib Razak’s three personal AmBank accounts received a total of RM606.51 million over 19 months – between July 31, 2013, and March 9, 2015. And it was Najib alone who had spent all the money, averaging RM31.92 million per month or RM1.035 million a day. How could he claim ignorance after writing cheques and swiping credit cards? Yes, the SRC International was set up – even designed – as Najib Razak’s personal ATM machine. Only the disgraced former premier had an interest in misappropriation of SRC funds. As for Jho Low, his piggy bank is Good Star, a company registered in the Seychelles, which had received US$700 million funds which were diverted from a joint venture between 1MDB and Petrosaudi International. - FT

Mat Sabu,Presiden parti nyamuk ziarah Mursyidul Am PAS.

Dia sedia ridsect kat meja tetamu... 

Walauncai penyatuan ummah serambi mekah 😂😂😂

Even Saudi Arabia refused to accept Zakir Naik.

Why are we keeping him here???

cheers

Sumber asal: Ada menteri takut digugur... Baca selebihnya di Ada menteri takut digugur...

[tachiisms]

[Siri] “And I won’t let you leave the Jedi, I know what it cost you last time.” [Obi-Wan] “I don’t want to leave the Jedi. And I know you couldn’t.” [Siri] “It’s everything to me.”

I just want to take a minute to point out the use of “want/don’t want” vs “could/couldn’t/can/can’t” in this exchange.

The word choice is definitely intentional, because it would have been just as easy for him to say “I don’t want to leave the Jedi. And I know you don’t want to, either,” but that’s not what he says, he says “I know you couldn’t.” And Siri doesn’t disagree. She doesn’t correct him, she doesn’t make any sort of “I don’t want to leave the Jedi” response to clarify what she does or doesn’t want, she simply agrees that it’s everything to her.

It’s an important distinction, because in a lot of ways, it acknowledges that Obi-Wan gives himself an element of choice in the matter of whether or not he’s a Jedi, whereas it doesn’t gives Siri that same choice -- she can’t be anything other than a Jedi, not because she doesn’t want to, but because she couldn’t. And he doesn’t even say “And I think you couldn’t,” he says “I know you couldn’t.” 

This is notably after a handful of conversations between the two of them where Siri is shown to be struggling with whether or not what they’ve been told to do is actually the best thing: “What if he’s right? [...] And the Senate won’t protect him. Not the way they should. They just want what they want. Once he testifies, they won’t care about him. He’s not wrong, Obi-Wan.” 

Where Siri questions the validity of their mission instructions: “We can’t defy the Senate [Siri]. We can’t defy the Jedi Council.” “We can. We just don’t choose to. There are more options in life, Obi-Wan, than you seem to be able to imagine.”

And where the conversation ends with Siri acknowledging that she always does her duty, but is clearly unhappy about it: ‘“Don’t worry. I’ll deliver Taly into the hands of the Senate. I’ll do my duty. I always do.” Then she retreated from him, even though she stayed still and unmoving at his side.’

But even after such discussions, Obi-Wan still says that Siri couldn’t leave the Jedi, and she still agrees with it. It’s just an interesting (and therefore, definitely deliberate) word choice, coming from the person who self-professes to know her better than anyone, and says a lot both about Siri, and about the way she’s perceived even by those closest to her. 

Now put that into the context of the fact that this is the Jedi who goes undercover for two years and lives as not a Jedi. Siri, who couldn’t leave the Jedi, is the one who has to, the one who does, and who manages to do it extremely convincingly.