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#talking about feeling lonely and whatnot
chryblossomjjk · 5 months
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ot7 enlistment reality is starting to sink in
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the-acid-pear · 9 months
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Every time I think about Jevil from a more serious standpoint recognizing how sad the shit going on there is I want to rip my head bald.
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sugarpopss · 2 years
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Maybe I’m just not a person made for communities. Maybe I’m just a person who is too aloof and bad at genuinely engaging with other people to feel a sense of community anywhere at all, regardless of the context. Bc I don’t just feel isolated in wlw spaces, it’s everywhere. It’s within my academic/career path, my interests, my town, my around my friends, around family (though to be fair I am genuinely very distant from family except my parents and that usually doesn’t bother me, I’m mostly indifferent on that one I love my parents but I don’t have super strong familial ties)
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alchemiclee · 28 days
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sometimes I say words and sometimes people like/reblog those words (sometimes even adding a tag comment!!!!) and i'm always like "omg do these words make sense to you??? do you like the nonsense that came out of my brain????????" it's always super surprising and makes me do a little happy dance.
part of me wants to talk about that nonsense with them more, but the other part of me is bad at people and too afraid 🥲😅
#words#in which lee misses having long autistic rambling conversations with people about interests where we both send paragaraph upon paragraph#as if we are trying to write a novel about the thing and sometimes that conversation would span over a few days and we keep going#until we have thoroughly disussed the thing with as many ideas as we can come up with#its hard to find that kind of person. they have to have the same interest at exactly the same intensity and have a general same opnion on it#same as in they like it and think its good vs disliking and wanting to debare rather than discuss. i hate debate. and they must be creative#and good at continuing the conversation and going with thr flow in a way that we both fit each others conversation style and yeah#i had a few people like that in the past ans miss that. but theyre so hard to come by and you meet them by chance#its not something you can force. its like an accident. so “looking for someone” doesnt work. have to feel their vibe and energy and match#anyway reading people's star rail analysis and theories and thoughts and whatnot is fun#since im too bad at people to talk to ans get along with just anyone. reading posts takes out the pressure to socialize correctly#but its still lonely not sharing my thoughts. thats why when random person likes or reblogs my posts i feel seen/heard#its nice. especially if they add tags. it feels almost like we reciprocated and interacted or something#i was seen and heard and they also are seen and heard by me and im honoured they also said words!!!!!! even if just tags on a reblog#anyway someone reblogged a post i made and added their thoughts in the tags and ive been thinking about it all day 🫣🥲😭🥺
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forshadowing · 4 months
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realizing the host's friends consider me an "evil" alter like hmm. well that isn't concerning whatsoever
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captainchokchok · 8 months
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demigoddessqueens · 3 months
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Lucifer SFW
Just some A-Z SFW for the occasional adorkable King of Hell
Here on masterlist 10
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Super affectionate!! Peppers you with kisses and everything
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Chances are Luci would meet you if he’s ever visiting Charlie at the new hotel and sees you as one of the sinners living there
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He’s the cuddle bug master, just holding onto you like glue
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
I’d imagine as King of Hell has others for domestic tasks, but he enjoys the domestic life and wants that peace and love with it
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Oh he will NOT be handling breaking up well AT ALL 💔 like we’re talking tears and asking “did I do something wrong?”
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Man’s still wears his wedding ring after a seven years divorce/separation, he makes good on his commitments
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Very gentle and loving, there’s an air of love to his aura around you.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Those anaconda squeeze type of hugs and burying his head in your neck/hair.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Oh he wants to say it first so bad, but it all depends on when and how YOU want to say it, and Luci respects that
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Short fuse jealousy! Anyone so much as looks at you if you’re together and they’re getting smoted
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Passionate, deep kisses or quick little pecks
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Has a bit of an awkward charm to him that may be hit or miss with some kids
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Mornings are total “let’s just lounge in bed” all day type of thing
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Nights are intimate and sweet, spending time together over a glass of wine
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
I’d feel Luci would open up faster to you than you would, part of his loneliness, but he respects your boundaries
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
He’ll only be “angry” if someone tries to pull anything with you, but has considerable patience with you.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Luci can rattle off facts about you like it’s nobody business, just speaking about you adorably and what he loves about you
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
The first time you said “i love you” to him, he said it first a while back in the early stage
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Given how he is with Charlie, you are also important and incredibly precious to him and wants to protect you
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
You’re getting the full Royal Treatment from him. Gifts, candies, conjured flowers and trinkets and whatnot
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Maybe being a bit overly jealous or possessive of someone
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Well he is in charge of the Ring of Pride so he has to look good, especially if you’re coming over
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
In a way, yes. Lonely and a bit like “do you not like me anymore?”
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
If you’re a cooking type, I’d imagine Luci has a bit of a sweet tooth and loves all your baked goods
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Maybe like an overly nonchalant person or one who doesn’t communicate or open up themselves as he does
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Sleep starts off with cuddles, maybe some spooning, you as the big spoon most of the time
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harrystylesfan2686 · 4 months
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Pieces Part 3
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: the aftermath of the break up has different effects on both, Azriel and Reader.
A/N: yall I'm sick🥲 the updates might be late but I'll try to post as much as possible. Hope you like this one!
Pieces Masterlist
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It's been one month.
One month of Healing.
When azriel left, I told myself that I will not contact him until I'm ready. Doesn't matter how much I'm missing him or wanting him. I will not talk to him until I know I won't take him back the second I see him again.
I gave myself two days. Two days to sulk all I wanted. I spent the whole time crying and feeling miserable about myself. Before Az left at least, I wasn't by myself. At least I saw him once a day.
Now? Nothing.
I am totally alone. His absence hit me Hard. Everything I saw, almost brought me to my knees.
The kitchen where we would make dinner together, laughing and joking with each other that many times ended with us covered in flour and syrup.
The couch where we would sit cuddling and talking until we fell asleep, always waking up with strained muscles.
His office where he would sit on his chair in front of his desk, writing out reports and whatnot while I sit in his armchair reading my book. Just enjoying each others company and occasionally taking breaks to make out on the very deck, and then some.
After those dreadful days though, I called Feyre and Mor and had a very much needed girls night. We took out a wine bottle and I spilled everything to them. My mind was too drunk to think my feelings about Elain might offend Feyre but she genuinely felt sad for me and embarrassed about her sister. The poor girl even apologised to my about Elain's behavior to which I immediately told her it wasn't her fault.
When I told them how lonely it got being alone in a big house like this, they suggested maybe I should get a job or something to keep my mind distracted and promised that they'll visit me often. So I did juat that.
I found a part time job at a local library. I have to admit, I'm really enjoying it. I'm the second assistant to the sweetest lady, Hilda, who owns the shop. I don't do much, just help her in small things like adjusting books on self or helping in shipping books out or in. Layla, the first assistant, handles most of the work around the shop. My job is basically doing what she asks of me. The salary isn't much but I don't care because it's never been about money.
The first week was very hard. Everyday after I came home, the silence felt like a slap on the face, reminding me of everything I lost.
But, slowly, I became comfortable with it. Now it's doesn't hurt me as it did before.
There were many times when I think of Azriel, tears filled my eyes, but I never let them free. I sucked them in and did anything else that didn't made me cry, like taking baths, baking my favorite chocolate brownies, reading in front of the fire place while drinking hot coco or calling my friends to take me shopping.
And as time went. I started to heal. I started to feel good, happier with myself. And without even realizing it, I started to love myself.
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Azriel
It's been one month.
One month of regretting everything I did to my mate.
I've spent my whole month sulking in this room, crying and regretting everytime I chose Elain over my wife. I haven't slept at all since I came here, just enough to keep me functioning. My appetite is gone. I don't eat unless Rhys come and force feeds me like I'm some baby.
I told Rhysand and Cassian everything the first morning i stayed here. Which earned me a flick to head by Cassian and a very disappointed look from Rhys. Even though they didn't give me any scolding(which I very much deserved), the flick and expression said enough.
Rhys has refrained me of any work, handling it himself or having someone else do it. While I have been sitting around here and hating myself. It seems like even my mind has declared itself an enemy, showing me memories of everytime I dismissed Y/N and hurt her in any way at most random times, cutting a deeper cut in my heart everytime.
"Hey Az, I was thinking if we could go out for dinner tonight? There is this new amazing restaurant I saw while walking near Sidra. I really want to try it." She told me as I put on my coat, ready to go.
"I can't, I have a mission for today. Rhys told me it's important so I can't skip. We'll go some other time. Okay?"
"Ok."
I could hear the excitement in her voice when she asked me and the hurt when I rejected her and promised to go another time. The time never came. She never asked again. And I never noticed.
"Az, are you awake?" She whispers in the dead of night. Both of us sleeping on the bed. My back to her, hoping to fall asleep quickly because I have early training tomorrow.
Cassian is spending time with Nesta more, so Rhys has told me to go to an illyrian camp to check how things are going. I have to wake and go there early to catch them off guard to see what's truly going on.
I can't do that if Y/N doesn't let me sleep.
I didn't answer her that night, hoping if i dont respond, she'll think im asleep and doesnt call me again. She really didnt call me again. I prioritized my sleep over her. Her voice sounded so small. She needed me. And I didn't care.
"So, I saw a really cute baby in garden today and..." I drone out her babbling and try to quickly I can get out of here, I promised Elain to help in her garden today. She'll be disappointed if I show up late.
"Az? You're listening to me right?" She suddenly questions, I clear my throat and answer a small, of course, she nods and takes a deep breath, not saying anything anymore. I sign in relief of the silence.
I put my head in my hands and tug hard on my hair, wanting to feel hurt, hurt the kind that she clearly felt and I didn't care.
I hate myself more and more as memories flash through my mind. I can't even cry at this point. I wished she'd hit me when we fought. Slaped and paunched some sense into me. I don't blame her at all for not talking to me. Gods, I wouldn't even blame her if she left me. I deserve it.
How do I fix this?
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Taglist: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @crazylokonugget @going-through-shit @wallacewillow0773638 @kalulakunundrum @cat-or-kitten
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milla984 · 10 months
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With Neighbors Like These
Summary: Jack goes away for the weekend and Aaron and Reader can finally have some alone time (inspired by this concept)
Pairing: post season 12 Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
Category: smut (NSFW, 18+, MDNI)
TW/CW: kissing, mutual masturbation, moderate dirty talk, penetrative sex, protected sex, established relationship, unspecified age gap, Hotch dealing with parenting issues, Jack is mentioned but not present
Word Count: 2k
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The house was unusually quiet as you walked in, leaving your shoes at the entrance to proceed barefoot towards the small office Aaron had arranged for himself with a few retouches to the spare room in the back.
Despite having a key in case of emergencies and whatnot, like a very good neighbor, it was a common decision you’d only use it on specific occasions and mostly when Jack wasn’t around. A single soccer cleat lay abandoned in a corner in the living room; were it to happen on a regular day you knew the mere sight of it would have sparked a fierce argument, but this morning was different. 
The evening before a very concerned father had driven his fourteen-year-old son to the arranged meeting point, camping gear in tow, and Jack was now enjoying a two nights excursion somewhere in the local woods. You had a feeling that, conversely, Aaron wasn’t getting a kick out of the child-free weekend - confirmed by his rapid typing on the keyboard when you knocked on the wooden frame of the French door to catch his attention.
He looked at you and cracked a smile, still too focused on what he was doing. “It won’t take too long. I promise.”  
You dropped your purse under his chair and hugged him from behind, the scent of his aftershave filling your nose with pure delight.
“Feeling lonely, already?” 
“Why?!” he enquired. “I didn’t have to shout five times to turn off that damn videogame, last night… and nobody guzzled down half a gallon of milk directly from the bottle, at breakfast!”
“You’re also worried, I can tell,” you added and he shrugged, defeated, then went back to focusing on the screen.
He’d been working part-time as an FBI consultant for a law firm for about a year and you had never seen him putting his job before his kid: he was an active member of the PTA and even volunteered to chaperone whenever he could (something that many moms and other dads found incredibly hot, without a doubt). If he was working on a Saturday he was a hundred percent desperate for a distraction.
Your palms brushed over his shoulders and a delicate touch soon turned into a proper massage, kneading his muscles through the polo shirt he was wearing. 
“Relax. You’re too tense,” you mumbled. He had only shared a few unpleasant details about his life as a member of the Behavioral Analysis Unit in D.C. before he and Jack moved into the neighborhood; nevertheless, it didn’t take a genius to figure out his former employment as an FBI agent had taken a huge toll on both of them.
“I’m not sure I should have signed that consent form,” he confessed. 
“His entire class is with him and his teachers all have cell phones, nothing’s going to happen. Save for a few mosquito bites,” you replied. “And don’t get me wrong... but aren’t you being just a bit overprotective?!”
“Jack told me the same thing when I said I wanted to think about it. Except, he didn’t phrase it so nicely,” Aaron grinned and shook his head while he rose to his feet. “Sorry, enough with the family issues,” he apologized, “it’s a lovely Saturday morning. Have you got any interesting plans?” 
“I have. And they don’t involve homework,” you declared, and as you pushed his laptop to the opposite side of the desk he locked an arm around your waist, his expression reverting to a serious one.
“... so you’re a bad influence.”
The intimidating attitude he could pull off with a single stare never failed to make your legs turn into jelly. 
You lowered your voice to a purr. “You don’t even kn—”
His soft lips pressed onto yours stopped you mid-sentence. The fact he had a teenage son registered in your mind only as a foggy thought and the power he’d had on you since the instant you saw him jogging around the block was almost inexplicable.
“You’re right, no more homework. How about I take you out for lunch?” he proposed and the warmth of his breath on your skin ignited a fire you weren’t at all convinced you could control. Or would.
You hugged him tight, your bodies finally making contact. “How about we take care of something else, first?”
Aaron’s attitude towards romantic relationships exuded manners and consideration, the portrait of a gentleman from a different era, so the response to your suggestion came as a surprise: he’d always shown a preference for the intimacy of his bedroom, even though his palms stroking over your breasts to make your nipples grow stiff and visible through the fabric was the perfect sign he had no intention of wasting any time to move the action upstairs. 
Your tongues lustfully met in a second kiss, prompting you to let out an excited sigh as you blindly undid and removed his belt before letting it fall on the floor with a loud clunk. You reached for his zipper and he sighed in return but gasped a second later when you gave him a light push that forced him to sit down again. 
“Show me how you do it when we’re not together.”
Aaron’s eyes widened - confusion and stupor at the beginning, then the sheer thrill of the idea lit up his gaze. And made him hard entirely.
He sank into the cushion behind his back to finish unzipping his pants and pulling them down his hips so that his swollen erection was only contained by a thin layer of underwear. 
“You’re just going to watch?” he asked, locking eyes with you. You could have sworn that look alone increased the temperature in the room by a couple of degrees. “Doesn’t seem fair.”
You reached under the flowy dress to roll your panties along your thighs, letting them crumple around your ankles; you sat on the desk and lifted the skirt up to your waist, your feet resting on Aaron’s parted knees. 
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
He swallowed nervously but didn’t miss a movement of your fingers starting to draw circles around your most sensitive spot, guided by the aching tension in your belly; your mouth watered at the sight of his cock whipping free and he noticed, so he took his time to wrap his right hand around it.
You knew how to work his length, moving up and down in slow and long strokes as foreplay, nevertheless witnessing such a handsome man masturbating for you proved to be one of the most lascivious experiences of your life.
“I always think about you when I touch myself…” you confessed, and he held on to your ankle with his free hand while you rubbed your clit. 
“Are you trying to make me lose control?”
You nodded in confirmation and he growled. 
He was now coating his shaft and palm with the leaking precum, using only his index and middle finger to collect some of the slickness and spread it over the bulging head, the exposed glans glistening in the process. That was when he usually begged you to move faster, since his delicate skin was lubricated enough and increased friction meant pleasure - not pain.
“I’m really wet for you,” you teased him, your own desire pooling at your core, but his reaction threw you off balance. 
“Stop, please… stop,” he whimpered, “this is not…”    
His ragged breath made it difficult for him to articulate his words. “I need you.”
You gestured at the purse that was still under his chair and he handed it to you; sharing the house with a teenager meant Aaron had grown accustomed to some of his clean t-shirts randomly disappearing from his drawers and wardrobe, so you both knew nothing out of the ordinary could be hidden among his personal stuff. 
He stared at you, entranced, as you retrieved the small box you’d carried with you and tore one of the foil packages open. 
“A little closer, maybe…?” you joked, and when he stood up you bit your lower lip in anticipation. He kissed you lightly on your forehead as you unrolled the latex down his hardness, then you pinched his chin and smiled at him.
“Better?!”   
He whined again. “Not exactly.”
You grabbed him by the nape of his neck, speaking softly to his ear. “Make me come. I can’t wait anymore.”
The uninhibited request seemed to have flipped a switch in him: the sound of a pencil holder spilling its content made you laugh as Aaron enthusiastically raised your legs in the air and held them to his chest, so he could start rubbing the tip of his cock up and down your folds.
It was torture but he was damn good at it.
When he managed to get himself covered in your arousal he slipped the bulbous head past your entrance. “It’s so big…” you muttered.
Truth be told he wasn’t that well-endowed and you had nothing against it, since you’d never been keen on painful sex, still you welcomed him with a loud moan once he buried himself inside of you. Even a gentleman from another era didn’t mind a bit of flattering and appreciation of his manhood. 
He wasn’t as vocal, though, but his deep groans reverberated in his throat in a manifestation of primal, untamed passion; he looked so solemn it drove you insane, his brows furrowed and tiny droplets of sweat trapped between his short hair, almost as if he was directing all of his energies into screwing your brains out.
When his thrusts grew slower but more intense you wriggled your legs free and locked them around his waist: with a last, fierce grunt he twitched several times and you closed your eyes to enjoy the moment, which was always the biggest turn-on for you.
With your eyes still closed you welcomed the pressure on your lips, a not-so-subtle invitation to take his index and middle finger in your mouth; you sucked on them alternately, happy to oblige, tasting traces of the salty precum. You clawed at his forearm when he brought the wet digits to your clit, rubbing and drawing circles just like you’d shown him before.
“Aaron… I’m…” you mewled, grabbing a fistful of his hair as you - indeed - came with his throbbing cock still inside you, lungs pleading for air and inner muscles clenching around him.
He collapsed on top of you, the additional weight making you realize how harsh the desk’s smooth surface was on your back, yet you cupped his face and stroked his flustered cheeks with your thumbs. 
“I missed you so much,” you breathed out as soon as you were able to.
He pulled out and started to fix his clothes, and before he got rid of the condom he planted the sweetest kiss on your lips. “I’m sorry about the other weekend. Jack wasn’t supposed to play, last minute change of plans—”
“Don’t be sorry, I know you love going to his games,” you said, propping up on one elbow to straighten yourself as he stood in front of you. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to disappoint your biggest fans, would you?”
He was still heaving a little and looked at you with a pensive pout. “... what?!”
“I mean, you’ve seriously never noticed…?” you locked your hands behind his neck as you tried to come up with a good imitation of the cooing voice of the soccer moms who you knew swarmed the sidelines every time he was present.
“Aaron, can you help us move the coolers? Aaron, we need to rearrange those chairs! Aaron, come here and have some cake! We made it for you ‘cause you’re such a good dad and it’s soooooo hot!”
He laughed, the vibrations in his ribcage making your breasts jiggle, then he gave you his best smile to date. “You’re jealous?!”
You shrugged, holding him closer. “No. To be honest I don’t even blame them, you are a good dad. Which is very hot, by the way.”
“Thank you,” he laughed again as he wrapped you in his arms to kiss you one more time, forcing you to close your eyes and get lost in his tender embrace. You muffled a surprised gasp when he playfully nipped at your earlobe with another heart-stopping smile. 
“But just to be clear…” he added, his voice dropping to a whisper, “it’s usually cookies, not cake!”
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@hornyhornyhimbos
NB: I don't really have an Aaron Hotchner fic taglist 'cause I usually write about Spencer Reid but if you wish to be tagged in future Hotch-centric works (SFW or not, who knows?) you can either send me an ask or leave a comment below.
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lovebugism · 7 months
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for fictober, can I request steve and shy!reader with the prompt “I’ll stay until you fall asleep”? maybe a hurt/comfort, steve comforting reader after a bullying incident at school?
thanks for requesting angel! this can be read as a part two to this fic!! — steve comforts you after a no good, really bad day (tw for mentions of bullying, established relationship, hurt/comfort, 1.6k)
fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)
Steve waits for you in your childhood bed while you cry in the shower.
The day had been hard to you. Like a fist. It hit you hard in the gut and left a dark, splotchy bruise in its wake.
You’d been too tender to turn Steve down when he asked to come over. Still aching, you thought he might make it better. He did, in a sense, but one person can only do so much. The dark spots of you were too gloomy for your own personal sunshine to brighten.
Steve knows all this — not because you’ve told him, but because he heard you trying to hide it.
He got lonely and almost went into the bathroom with you. He thought he could sit on the counter while you showered, keep each other company and whatnot, but then he thought he heard you sniffling.
His heart ached at the thought that you might’ve been crying, alone and away from him. 
It breaks entirely when he sees you.
“Hi, pretty,” he greets in a quiet lilt when you exit the bathroom, drowning in one of his baggy t-shirts. 
A puff of floral-scented steam follows behind you as you dry your dripping hair with a towel between your palms. Your eyes are glassy and your skin is tinted a redder shade — from the heat or from the hidden tears, he can’t quite tell.
“Hi,” you answer, as quiet as usual. Your voice is meek. Tired. It wavers on the edges, still stained with lingering emotion. Steve doesn’t know why you’re keeping it from him.
“Took you awhile,” the boy singsongs with a crooked grin. It’s not a question, just an observation. He doesn’t want to pry so hard you shut down.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just got… distracted, I think.”
Steve huffs a faint laugh. The mattress squeaks when you sit on the edge of it. He rises from the pillows to take you in his arms. He doesn’t pull you any closer, though, only holds you. He smooths a warm palm up and down your back with one hand and rubs circles on your thigh with the thumb of the other.
“It’s okay, babe. I do that all the time. I just missed you, you know?”
You nod, slowly and mostly to yourself. 
He thinks you might say something, then watches you lose focus a second later. Your wet eyes glaze over with a faraway look. You get lost in your own head, rubbing the towel in your hair with absentminded hands.
“Hey…” Steve hums softly to you, ducking his gaze to find yours. His scruffy face swirls with concern. “You feel okay?”
A beat passes. Your eyes widen when you realize he’s talking — talking to you. It sounded like he was shouting at you from underwater. Like he was calling you from Earth while you sat on the rings of Jupiter. 
His hands are on you, but you’re lightyears away.
“Hmm?” you hum finally.
His smile widens, though it’s lined with worry. “You look a little spacey there, babe,” he tells you with a halfway-forced chuckle.
Your cheeks are aflame with embarrassment now. There’s nothing you can keep from him.
“Sorry…” you murmur.
“Stop apologizing,” Steve laughs, soft but still firm. “We talked about that, remember? You don’t have to be sorry for everything.”
You don’t know what to say, so you shift awkwardly and repeat, “Sorry…”
He decides not to scold you for it this time. Mostly because he knows there’s no point, but also because you do look sort of sick. You’re sunken in and paler than usual, like you’ve died and come back to life since he last saw you.
“You sure you’re okay?”
You nod, even though your chin quivers. “Yeah, I’m okay,” you assure him, voice cracking like delicate glass —  fragile with the burning tears gathering at your waterline.
Steve deflates just like you do. “Babe…”
You weren’t going to cry. Really, you weren’t. You’ve mastered the art of biting your tongue and blinking at the ceiling until the need to weep has passed entirely. But something about the way he says it makes your heart break. It’s been hanging on a thread all day, in your defense.
He says it like you’re made of glass — like there’s no use in hiding because he can see right through you.
You break accordingly.
Your face pinches together. You take a wavering breath in. You’re still trying to keep it together in front of the boy who’s eons out of your league already, but the tears spill over before you mean them to. You put your head in your palms in a feeble attempt to hide there. A sob tumbles from your mouth.
Steve’s heart wrenches. Like your pain is his own. You stab him in the chest when you cry, then twist the knife when you jerk away from him when he tries to comfort you.
“No, don’t,” you snap, then sniffle as you wipe your teary cheeks with the backs of your hands. “‘M just being a baby—”
“No, you’re not,” Steve interjects before you can be cruel to yourself any longer. “Just— Just let me hold you, yeah?”
When you don’t refuse, he tries again. He wraps his arms more intently around you, pulling you to his chest and pressing his nose into your still-drying hair. He can tell you’re trying hard not to cry — between broken breaths, sharp sniffling, and muffled sobs into your palms. 
His eyes squeeze when they start to burn. 
He doesn’t know why you’re still hiding.
“It’s okay to cry, you know? I do it all the time.”
“Over nothing?” you bite with a venom spat mostly at yourself.
“Yeah!” Steve answers with a boyish chuckle. “I worked the graveyard shift the other night and realized I didn’t finish the laundry when I came back home. Had to pout about it like a twelve-year-old for an hour until I finally got up and did it”
You don’t mean to laugh, still a bit miserable in your way, but the visual is too funny not to scoff at.
Steve feigns offense, though he’s chuckling right along with you. “What? Crying’s a good stress reliever! One good sob fest, and you’re good to go.”
You sniffle and wring your hands in your lap. “It just… It makes me feel sorta weak, you know?”
“Crying?”
You nod. Your cheek rubs the soft cotton of his sweatshirt. Your throat wells with tears once more. “And everything already thinks I’m weak, and… I don’t know— I don’t want everyone to be right about me, I guess.”
“You’re not weak, baby,” Steve murmurs, then presses a kiss to your hair as he sways you back and forth. “You’re soft. That’s totally different.”
“Doesn’t feel different.”
“I know,” he hums sympathetically. “But it is.”
You don’t say anything. You just nod. 
“Do you wanna talk about it? The Nothing?”
You decide to be honest. There’s no use in hiding when you’re made of glass, you figure.
“The basketball team just kept staring at me all day — and laughing,” you confess, face crumpling up again. You feel as little as you did back then. “They were making a real big show of it, too, you know? Like that wanted me to see it.”
Steve burns for you. Grief ebbs into rage and turns his chest to ash. His gentle hold on you never wavers, even though his hands tremble with withheld fury. “Jason?” he wonders softly, jaw tense.
You shift, unsure of how to answer. “I mean… yeah, but he wasn’t— he wasn’t actually doing anything. ‘Cause he knows he doesn’t have to do anything.”
“Fucking douchebag,” Steve mumbles through gritted teeth.
“He hasn’t been bothering me or anything. He’s just…”
“A fucking douchebag?”
“Yeah,” you answer, laughing quietly to yourself.
“I’ll talk to him,” Steve assures you, though it’s mainly for himself. “Shoulda know he was too much of an idiot to listen the first time—”
You shake your head against his chest. “No, Steve—”
“—I bet he’s at practice right now. The basketball team usually drills in the gym during football season, so—”
“Steve, don’t,” you interject, sitting further up but staying wrapped in his arms. He looks like Heaven and smells like woodsy cologne and fresh autumn air. It heals you accordingly. “Just leave it, okay? I don’t— I don’t want it to be a big deal like it was last time.”
“You can’t just let him treat you like shit, babe,” Steve argues, chiseled features sharpened into hardened points. “I’m not gonna let him treat you like shit—”
“I can handle it on my own,” you assure him, still gentle in your way but so suddenly stern. Your doe eyes swim with it as you blink up at him.
Not weak, just soft.
Steve concedes with a small sigh. He relaxes into you again, pulls you back to him, and presses his lips to your hair. He doesn’t kiss you. His mouth just lingers. “What can I do then, huh? How can I make you feel better?”
“Can you just stay with me?” you wonder in a mousy whisper.
“Of course,” he scoffs like the answer’s obvious.
Your cheek rubs against his chest when you tilt your chin to peer up at him. “’Til I fall asleep?”
Steve’s rosy lips tug into a crooked grin. “A sleepover, huh? That’s even better— can Steve Bearington come, too?”
He nods over to your dresser where your childhood stuffy sits. He’s beige and fuzzy, older than you are and obviously well-used. You stopped sleeping with him around the time you found Steve. Being held is much different than the holding, you found.
“His name is Theodore, and no, he’s not invited!”
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misguidedasgardian · 8 months
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2. All in
MASTERLIST
Summary: You don’t know how you got to the point where Jace was just… living there with you… you liked it though
Warnings:  Cursing, cheating, adultery, talks about body shaming, therapy, misogynistic undertones (“man of the house” and whatnot), Harwin is not a good person on this… and Jace isn’t either, implied tampering with birth control, spy cameras, a bit creepiness, alcohol consumption, reader is a bit drunk in some parts, masturbation, fingering, inappropriate relationship, smut, oral sex (m receiving)
Wordcount: 4.9k
Notes: OH MY! things are heating up, I really don’t want to drag this along hehe, I want to just get to the good part
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He knew that he had to bid his time, that he needed to draw you in, but as he sneaked a peek at you, he got so tempted…
He had picked a movie called “the boy next door”, in which a separated woman who is going through a divorce, moves to a small town where she starts an affair… with the 20 year old boy next door. You looked away at the very hot sex scene between them
The mom was interpreted by a famous actress, a singer, a hot, mature one.
You were acting so coy, looking away, Jace got painfully hard just by looking at you. You had “made yourself comfortable”, wearing some black cotton leggings that did nothing to hide your delicious thighs and ass. and that sweater too big for you
Now you were curled up on the couch, nursing your beer.
Jace could bet you thought it was hot, that’s why you were so embarrassed, the best part is that he was older than the guy in the movie, and you were way younger than her…
Jace always thought it was creepy how there was a huge age gap between you and Harwin, and a much lesser one between you and him. 
“You didn’t like the movie?”, he asked, making you jump. You laughed coyly
“It’s good”, you muttered, nodding and taking a sip, “a bit kinky Jace”
“Oh right”, he mocked, you were twenty nine, a week shy of turning thirty, you were not an old woman, you were barely getting started 
Why couldn’t you see that?”
He put on his best puppy dog face
“Yeah, it’s awkward”, he muttered, turning towards you, “can I ask you a question?”, he asked, when the actress was whining about her cheating ex-husband
“Yeah”, you said, smiling encouragingly at him
“What happened between you and Harwin?”, Harwin, not dad, he couldn’t have you connecting those dots tonight 
You took a sip of your second beer
“It’s complicated Jacey”, you said softly
“I’m sure you can work it out”, he said dismissively, he was being risky, but he needed to know, he needed to know by your own words what happened, and then he could exploit it 
“I’m not so sure”, you whispered, taking yet another sip of beer, Jace had you exactly where he wanted you
“Why did you kick him out?”, he asked then
“Jace..”
“What did he do that was so bad?”, he said innocently
“Well. we drew apart last year and… well, he was feeling lonely I guess, I was too occupied with Aerea…”, Jace blood was boiling, he couldn’t believe was he was hearing, you were trying to soften the fact that the bastard had cheated on you, only for him to hear, his son
Gods you were so fucking good
So nice
He couldn’t wait to keep you full of his cock, because if you kept that up, you are never going to refuse him once he starts fucking you 
“He felt lonely?”, he couldn’t keep the ruse up for long, “what does that mean?”
“Jace I really don’t want to speak ill of your father”, you whispered 
“He cheated on you, didn’t he?”, he asked, and to you, he was appearing completely heart broken, like he just learned his hero had done something terrible
Jace should be an actor
“Well…”
“What a cunt!”, he cursed
“Jace, he is your father!”, you chided, “he cheated on me, not you”
“How could he?”, he continued, “how could he cheat on you? you are beautiful, smart, funny, hot as hell”
“Jace!”, you said, embarrassed that he would call you that… hot as hell. what a joke
“Why would he?”, he asked again, “he must be insane!”
“Well Jace, my pregnancy wasn’t easy, and women bodies change when they… get pregnant, and after they give birth”, you whispered, remember sadly how Harwin loved to make the baby, but not as much once she was about to be born or already here, when your body started changing 
“You can’t be serious!”, he snapped, “you are blaming yourself?”
“I shouldn’t have told you”, you said, feeling guilty
“I’m glad you did”, he made his play, he placed a hand on your shoulder, and your raised your gaze again to look at him wide-eyed, “he has never stopped disappointing me, this doesn’t surprise me”, he admitted, “but I’m glad I can be here for you”
“Thank you”, you said, smiling softly, he caressed your arm
“He doesn’t deserve you, or Aerea”, he whispered, “come here”, he was all in, you smiled and happily scooched over to his open arms, to hug him
A seemingly kind, warm gesture
“I’m glad you are here Jacey”, you whispered 
“I’m glad to be here to keep you company”, he said against the top of your head, “you deserve better, a man that cares for you, desires you, takes care of your daughter…”
“Thank you Jacey, and I have to say, you and your brothers will always be welcomed in my home”
. . .
Tonight had gone way better than he expected
Through the camera in your room, Jace could you tossing and turning in your bed, it was still hot outside, you were sleeping in these flimsy cotton shorts, and you accommodated yourself placing the sheet between your thighs, you bend your back, popping out your ass
Fuck
He was already hard
He took out his cock, already weeping, and he started squeezing it and stroking
You were right there
Just two rooms over
He could go, open the door, rip your shorts off your body, and fuck you
He know you’d love it, you were so deprived of physical love and affection
He needed to exploit it
He touched himself at the visual of the two of you, when you hugged him over the couch, he imagined you raised your head then, looking up at him with those doe eyes of yours, he imagined grabbing your jaw and devouring you, kissing you hungrily.
He thought about pushing down on your back and him jumping over you, ready to eat you whole, ripped off your clothes and go at it right on the living room
He imagined how tight you would feel around him, as he snapped his hips into you over and over, oh! the sounds you could make, he had to cover your mouth with his big hand, to not wake Aerea
As he looked down at your desperate face, when he finally finds that spot inside you, your eyes would roll off to the back of your head, as he’d feel his hand wet with your saliva, your mouth open in desperation against his palm
Those tits of your, finally released from his prison, would be moving to the rhythm of his thrusts 
His big, fat cock in and out of you as he fucked you as deeply as he could go 
But once he started he would stop there, he would release you, taking himself out of you with no warning, making you whine and cling onto him, begging him for more
He knows he had you then
So he would grab you roughly, he wanted to see your ass now, he would turn you around so you’d be in all fours for him, and he would fuck you again, your round ass there in his grasp… your skin jiggling when the thrusted into you
Fuck
It was embarrassing to admit how fast he cummed, knowing you were just a few feet away from him
. . .
Soon another week ran past, Jace was coming and going from your house to his, now he couldn’t point blankly stay in your place, he had to return to his own home
But he came back… regularly
It was true, at least, the business part. He had invested most of his savings on this enterprise with his friend Cregan Stark, but it was just so perfect to use it for his own benefit
Apparently your interview had also played out, because now you were working, Aerea was in daycare, and Jace was currently on a videochat with his friend and business partner
“Well Jace, normally I would be against my best friend baby trapping some woman but phweet”, he whistled, “she is delicious”
“Isn’t she?”, he purred, he felt so proud of himself, he had sent his friend pictures, boasting about you like you were already his, and you somehow were, in his mind, “She is so fucking naive, and sweet, gods!”
Cregan laughed through the computer 
“Damn, and how do you plan on getting her though”
“Well, the devil’s in the details, I already have access to her place, her daughter…”
“You half sister”, mocked Cregan
“Already calls me dada, and adores me, I’ve already made myself indispensable at her home”, he continued, “she is totally dependant on me to do all the “toughest” things around the house” 
“Good good”, he purred, “so after it is all done.. what are you going to do?”
“Well, our company is going to be up there isn’t it?”
“You plan on moving her here?”
“When we start our relationship…”
“When you knock her up you mean..”
“I don't think she would want to stay here near all the people that know us so…”
“Good”, his friend seemed pleased
He heard you coming in the house then, and Jace got jumpy
“She is here, gotta go..”, he whispered
“Well Jace, good meeting, I’ll send you the details of the first shipment”
“And I will have those sheets for later…”, he said, continuing their conversation from before 
“Great”, you waved at him from behind the counter, and he smiled back, Aerea came rushing in
“DADDY!”, She greeted, and Jace couldn’t be happier, he grabbed her and showed her to Cregan through the camera
“Hi”, greeted Aerea
“And who’s that?”, teased Cregan, “Hello sweetie, she is a sweet little thing, looks like you Jace!”, he said loudly, winking at his friend, Cregan chuckled as you looked surprised
“Doesn’t she?”, he teased
The call was ended short after, and you looked a bit conflicted, Jace could tell 
You didn’t like the fact that Aerea called Jace “daddy”, it wasn’t healthy, your child needed to know, to remember her father, or else she was going to get all confused 
Luckily, Harwin had agreed to take her, the weeks he had his kids, so he could get help from Jace and Luke, and it was easier on him…
Perhaps he wanted some weeks off to see her… or others
Not that you’d care
You start putting some things you bought after work around, and you smiled fakely at Jace as he approached
“Need help with something?”, he asked, he had noticed you ahd bought a couple of bottles of wine, you were going to have the first week to yourself since… forever and a hot bubbly bath with a cup of whine and some strawberries with chocolate sounds like the remedy to all your problems
“It’s fine Jace”, you said softly, “Harwin is picking you both any minute now”, you made him remember 
He looked somewhat disappointed
“Right, this is his first week with Aerea, right?”
“Right”, you smiled
“Actually, I have a bunch of work to do, do you mind if I stay the night again?”, he asked
He was risking it, he thought
You could use some time alone, you thought yourself
But those big eyes of him, made you smile
You had all week
“Sure”, you said, faking another smile, he smiled back at you sincerely.
He didn’t like that fake smile on your face
He could tell he had overplayed it
“I’m gonna keep working…”
“Sure”, you said, you then turned to Aerea, “Let’s get you packed sweety, wanna go to papa?”
The little girl’s face lit up
“PAPA!”, she exclaimed, reaching for you, as you were going to take her to him
“Let’s go darling”, you whispered sweetly 
You felt Jace’s gaze as you walked down the hallway
He growled, frustrating, and he realized he had to change his strategy
He sat back in front of the computer and he finished his work, it didn't take him more than twenty minutes 
When you appeared back, you had a large bag in your hands, and Jace changed his plan right then, he put wavy his computer and gave you a smile
“Turns out I didn't have much work as I thought”, he said, “I’m done, and I should go to my dad’s”, you smiled then sincerely
“That is great,I know that I shouldn’t had said what i said, he is still your father and he loves you and cares for you deeply”, he smiled and nodded
You heard a honk outside
“There’s papa!”, Aerea applauded
Harwin might be a shitty husband, but he was not a shitty dad, Jace had to admit, replacing him was not going to be as easy as he thought
You were nervous as you led your little girl outside, it was going to be the first time you saw Harwin since you split
He walked to the door with a soft smile
“Hey darling”, he said, looking straight at you, and then he turned to Aerea, who jumped into his arms
“Hey”
Jace thought he was going to be happy to witness this debacle, but it wasn’t weird or angry, you were actually smiling tenderly at the fucker
“Jace, you are here”, muttered Harwinm, surprised, “thanks for keeping my girls company”
That was a low blow for everyone there
You stomach sank, but Jace got so angry
He didn’t deserve calling you his 
“We should go”, muttered Jace, grabbing Aerea, and you thanked him for it, to distract her, or else she was going to start crying when she realizes you are not going
You waved him goodbye as they got in the car and drove away
You loved your daughter with all your heart, but Gods if you needed a break from all of this
You had bought like a ton of chocolate, wine, strawberries, your favorite pasta dish, you even went as far as to go to the grocery store and buy yourself those “spa” bundles, that include a candle, a very bubbly soap, a nice soft loofah, and body cream for later
So you did exactly that
You got comfortable, got rid of your clothes, until you were in your underwear (a lacey little thing you had bought to entice Harwin), and you put a soft robe on top, just to cover your modesty. 
You cooked your pasta, with your favorite sauce, you poured some wine in your cup, as you watched from the kitchen your favorite show. And when it was ready.
You ate it with pleasure, congratulated yourself because it was as good as you wanted it, so delicious, very creamy. 
You poured more wine
then you watched some more twenty minutes episodes of your favorite soap opera and THEN… you melted the chocolate, cutted some strawberries, and with a bottle and cup in hand, you went to treat yourself to the bathroom
You filled the tub, you put in the entirety of that bubble bath and you sipped your wine happily until it was full, then you undressed, dropping pieces of clothing anywhere.
Despite what happened with Harwin in the last years, today, you were feeling particularly sexy, perhaps you were ovulating or something.
You undressed like the sexiest man alive was there, watching your every move, and then, you got into the tub, moaning to express the wonderful time you were having, the hot water instantly relaxing your tired body 
Oh shit you forgot the music
No matter.
The warm up for the tub had been so nice that, now you were horny, very horny. 
Your “sexy man” was watching, so you decided to give him a show, you dipped your finger in the chocolate and brought it to your mouth
Immediately the delicious taste invaded you
Your other hand went to one of your breasts, your nipples already hard. Oh fuck you were going to enjoy this
It had been a while since you felt like this… 
Since your baby-making months…
You placed a chocolate covered strawberry in your mouth, and moaned at the taste, and at the feeling of your fingers pinching your nipple softly
You were so horny, your hand traveled down the waters over your belly and you were ready to really treat yourself 
And then, just about when thing were starting to get truly fucking good
You felt the front door opening loudly. You heard a familiar voice calling your name
SHIT! JACE!
You gasped, as it was just down the hall, and the door to the bathroom was wide open, and your underwear was in the hallway, and by the soft candlelights coming from the bathroom…
“WAIT!”, you pleaded, “I’m in the bathroom!”
“I’m sorry!”, he lamented, you heard him getting closer
“Jace, don’t come in please”, you whined, your hand until over your pubis, gods, this was going to be so good.
And yet…
The need didn’t go away being almost being caught
“You good?”, asked Jace, just by the door
“Too good Jacey”, you said, not being able to hide how disappointed you were
“I’m sorry I interrupted you”, he sounded entertained, he had clearly saw your underwear there
“Did something happen?”, you asked
“Harwin and I had a huge fight, I’m so sorry I… should have called you, or gone home, but… the only place I deemed safe is… well… here”
You sighed, loudly
“Jace you caught me in a bad time”, you admitted
Oh he knew exactly what you were doing, and he timed it just perfectly
As you looked at the space of the open door, your breathing quickened
Jace was right there
And that didn't turn you off, it did the opposite
You almost got caught masturbating on the bath by the hottest twenty one year old you had ever seen 
But you shouldn’t, you whined to yourself
And as you looked down at the empty bottle of wine… at everything set up for your pleasure…
But you wanted the real thing
So so badly
You didn't realize though, that your “mental” whine, sounded for a real, a moan that got Jace’s blood rushing to his cock, and that made him take a single step, to watch you -in real life and not on his cellphone-, in that tub
You were looking at him wide eyed, as he had your panties on his fist, the ones from the hallway
“Jace?”, you called, you look like a deer in headlights, you didn’t hide, you didn't shrieked and demanded him to leave 
You just looked at him, with desire on those beautiful eyes of yours. 
Jace growled at the sight of your soapy breasts, peaking over the water, of if he could just take a picture of this moment
You had never been so beautiful
The whole scene looked like a renaissance painting
He grabbed his phone, he couldn’t resist, and snapped a picture
You didn’t even flinched, you even moaned one more time, your chest sticking out 
“You look so fucking gorgeous”, he admired, not being able to act any longer, this was it, it came sooner than expected, but anticipated nonetheless 
“Jace”, you called, but it wasn't accusatory, it was indeed, a call
He walked until he kneeled by the side of the tub
“When I said I was going to help you with whatever you needed, I mean… anything”, he teased with a wide smile.
You rubbed your tights together shamelessly, not trying to hide it, and Jace smirked darkly 
HIs hand disappeared under the water, down your leg and then
You moaned wantonly, like a common whore when a single finger grazed your folds
One touch, and you spread your legs wantonly
How long has it been?
Way too fucking long
“We shouldn’t”, you managed to muster, even though you spread your legs wider like a whore, he only laughed, not believing it for a second
“We shouldn’t… we fucking have to”
He was your stepson
Fuck
You forgot about it pretty quickly when he latched his lips to your, devouring you, taking your breath with only one lock of lips
He fucked you with two fingers, first softly, until you moaned and turned in the tub, asking for more, begging for it.
“You like it when your stepson fingerfucks you?”, he teased
“Yes!”, you admitted, because to you, this was only a dream, this couldn’t be happening, not really.
“Aren’t you a dirty little whore, uh?”, he kept teasing, “fucking men more than a decade older than you, you should be with someone who can keep up with you”
“Someone like you?”, you whined
“Fuck yeah like me”, he said, twisting his fingers until he found what he was looking for, then your eyes did traveled to the back of your head, just like he imagined it
And when you were about to cum…
He released you
“Mmmm why?”, you whined, tears in your eyes
“Because you had been such a tease”, he growled, you are going to beg me to fuck you”, you moaned, “I’ll be waiting for you in your room”, he whispered dangerously, and left the bathroom
Now you could put a stop to this right now, or you could get into your room and get your back blown out just like you needed it
The decision was pretty easy to make
You got out of the tub, dried yourself slowly, not daring to even touch your pussy, then you put on your rob, you could see Jace from the bathroom, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at you with a smirk on his lips
Where was the sweet boy you had met the past few weeks?
Nowhere to be found
And that made it even more easy to do
You walked slowly, teasingly, your eyes on him, his eyes on you
You didn’t even cared to think about the consequences of this actions
You didn’t care
A primal need had taken a hold in your body, and you they were going to get sated
This was the culmination of years of sexual neglect… you didn't even dare to think about how wrong this was…
“Jacey”, you moaned, testing the opening of the robe, “are you sure?”, you knew your body wasn’t perfect, and yet, you had him here, looking at you like that, eating you with his eyes darkened like those of a hunter about to pounce
This wasn’t happening…
So it didn’t matter
It was all a dream
It had to be
it was definitely not the pills jace had replaced your birth control with
It was not the wine
It was a dream
“I can’t take it any longer”, he muttered, grabbing you by the fabric, ripping your robe from your body, grabbing your hips and drawing you to him, until you straddled him on the bed
You felt his… thick cock right under your pussy, and you moaned, wanted to feel it for real
“Oh yeah, rub yourself on me, you needy little thing”, he whined, he was so fucking sexy, as he looked up to you with those dark eyes, and chiseled like features 
He was wearing soft gray cotton pants, that did nothing to hide his monster cock
“Please Jacey”, you whined
“What?”, he teased, “you have been a really bad girl, you know? flaunting all of this in front of me, not even giving me a taste…”, his eyes trailed your naked body over him, his greedy hands grabbing and squishing everything he could get his hands on
You rubbed yourself on him shamesly, needily 
“I need you”, you whined
“Oh I know you do”, he growled.
You decided to take matters into your own hands. you separated from him a bit, just enough so you could grab the hem of his pants and lower them, releasing his…
Oh fuck
So you weren’t lying to yourself, it was big and thick, and already so hard, and leaking
All for you
“Mmmm”, you moaned, in anticipation, as you took it with both your hands, it felt so heavy, you couldn’t even wrap your hands around it
“Use it”, demanded Jace, you started rubbing him, pumping him, making sure to use his own precum to lubricate him.
“So big”, you barely recognize yourself, you didn't know what was happening, you wanted him so badly it hurted you
“Is all yours baby”, he whined 
If it was yours, you were going to do as you wanted, you dropped to your knees between his thick thighs, as Jace looked down at you with devotion
Only two of his fingers and he had you on your knees for him
He couldn’t even wait to see what was going to happen after he fucked you
He moaned, dropping his head back when you gave him a kitten lick at his tip
“Fuck”, there was no way you could fit it all in your mouth, so you used both hand to massage him as you took care of his tip, “yes just like that”
You moaned approvingly, trying to get as much as you could, but it wasn’t much
“You like sucking cock don’t you?”, he asked, his voice thick
“Yes”, you released him, only to answer, and then you took him in your mouth again, sucking his tip
“Shit!”, he cursed
He knew you were going to be… open… for it, but he never expected this, it was better than anything he could have imagined 
You wanted to please him, and he didn't rush you, yet, you tried to take more and more each time your head bobbed up and down
Not even half
But Jace stopped you
“I need you”, he demanded, he stood up and helped you up too, you undressed him at his request, taking his hoodie, shirt, and getting rid of his pants until he kicked them off of his feet
He looked down at you, until he grabbed you, drawing you to him
Your naked bodies collided as your lips with his
He was hungry for you, his tongue immediately asking permission to enter and you gladly granted it
It was dirty, wrong, and you fucking love it
This is a dream
This is a dream
You were a tangle of limbs, as you fell to the bed, but you wanted to resume where you left, so you make sure he accommodate himself on the bed 
Your marital bed
His cock rested over his stomach, as you accommodate yourself over him
“Take it slow darling”, he whined, you grabbed his cock still wet with your saliva.
Oh he so wanted to taste you
But tonight, it was all about you using him
You accommodated yourself over him, lining his thick cock with your entrance, and then, you lowered yourself
You moaned when he entered you, the stench was a bit painful, but you were so wet, it felt incredibly delicious
“Tell me darling”, he said, looking up at you, his hand grabbing your hips, squishing the skin, “who is this making you feel so good?
“Mmmm Jace”, you whined, taking another inch inside of you, you moved your hips in circles, easing him into you, it felt so good, to feel him rub against your insides, he was filling you so good.
“Who?”, he demanded
“Jace!”, you cried out, when he retrieved himself, to punish you for something
“Who’s this cock that your are fucking yourself with?”, he asked then
“Yours!”, he slammed down, making you take all of him in one movements, “AH fuck!”, you cursed, “So full”
“This is nothing”, he teased, “I want to see you full of my cum”
Gods those words enticed you to keep moving your hips, fucking yourself on him, until you found the angle you needed, for him to bully your special spot
“It feels so good”, he whined, “your pussy is so fucking tight”
“Your cock is so big”, you babbled, now going up and down
“I know, and it's all yours”
“All mine?”, you asked
“Yes, is this pussy mine?”, he asked, easing your clit with his thumb, making you shriek 
“Yes!”, you screamed
“You sure?”, he teased
“Mhmh”, you moaned
“Good girl, as long as it is only mine, you can have this all you want”, you started going back and forth with your hips, making Jacaerys draw his head back… but he couldn’t come just yet, he grabbed you, and with a shriek and a single smooth movement, now he had you under him
“Enough, now we are making thing my way”, he growled
And he started thrusting so hard into you, the bed started creaking dangerously under you, the board slamming against the wall
“Ah”, you whined, your pussy tightening so hard, squeezing him, jace had to work hard not to cum tight then and there
“Take it”
He couldn’t believe this was happening, this must be a dream…
You cummed, hard, didn’t even try not to, it was too much…
And Jace cummed right after, filling you with his cum
You didn't even think about the consequences, there was not going to be any…
This was just a dream…
He took himself off of you, and immediately you felt his seed dripping out of you.
He chuckled darkly, with one of his fingers, he collected it and pushed back inside you, with your moan resounding all over your room
“You are mine now”, he demanded
Sleep was taking you, you were exhausted…
And Jace only hoped this was enough to breed you, not like he didn’t want to have you more times… 
But the sooner the better…
Right?
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I'm going to be honest, I was going to cut it right before the smut, and then I thought, I couldn't do that to you all
muahaha
She folded pretty quickly but I mean, who wouldn't?
taglist!
@champomiel @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sweethoneyblossom1 @lukepattersin @ladylyanna91 @snowflake-latte @bruher @bellstwd @inesven @iamavailablesstuff @haydee5010 @happinessinthebeing @agqrtz @ajanauia @joliettes @lightdragonrayne @ivoryluvs @fairysluna
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hitomisuzuya · 4 months
Text
Don't mind this, everyone. This is just me high typing cause I am lonely. I should probably be typing fluffy Childe smut, but I digress. Bear with me.
I really love the idea of self aware Genshin characters. It's such a Yandere thing. I am gonna include my own experience a little in farming for Scara and using him in game for the sake of flow of whatnot so I can talk about this. The narration may change a bit in some places. I'll change the font style and whatnot, continuing on.
My best friend has this fun little headcanon that Scara came somehow manipulate the game in some way, make it glitch for lack of better word. Like, he would know when you are playing him. He would sense it, mainly being able to feel how you feel through your hands, seeing as how, especially if you are a mobile player like I am, your hands around your phone the whole time.
He could feel when you are happy, and when you get unsure about something. He would notice like dependent habits you have, like if you have him in your party and rotate him out for say like his cool down for his burst or ESkill, or to put up a shield with whatever character (for me, it would be Noelle, my girl🥰), he would feel the unease you feel having to rotate him out for a few moments.
Or if you are fighting and have another character on field, and you freeze in the middle combat whether it be because you hesitated or weren't sure about having this particular character on field, and you rotate him back in and he instantly feels you relax because you can rely on him to carry you (no joke, get that boy up in the air and let his tracking go to work😌).
You depend on him, and that's what validates him. He can feel how you feel about him. It sends him reeling when he realizes that someone could depend on him. Could love him? You loved him despite everything he did, and everything he'd been through. You trust him, love him, and rely on him with every fiber of your being.
You were loyal. He can even hear the affection in your voice when you tell him good morning or good night. He loves that you love him.
Basically, the more he feels you through your hands, the more he comes self aware. This feeling is doubled, especially if you are in a high stress situation like..*twitch*..The Spiral Abyss. My two teams are obvious strike teams built around Scara and Childe.
He always went on somewhat of a power trip whenever you went to the Spiral Abyss. You built one of your teams so carefully around him. He'd felt how much thought you'd given it. If he had it his way, you wouldn't need a second team.
He was the only one you needed. Meandering in the Spiral Abyss was just another way for him to prove that he could take care of you.
You were his.
He is even able to see what you look like, being able to widdle away the barrier between you, him, and the game. Soon, very soon, he would be able to breach the barrier and reach his fingers into your very world.
I'm sure we all remember putting our noses to the grindstone farming for him. We all twitched from the same trauma of farming Rukkhashava Mushrooms, all while still exploring a newly released Sumeru. And the Handguards.
He wondered what it had been like preparing for him. You'd had everything all gathered in a nice neat pile for him. He hated that you'd had to rely on another character even though you were preparing for him (for me it was Xiao).
He couldn't stand that you inevitably do have to be away from your phone (or whatever you use). He has a lot of time on his hands to whatever in Teyvat until you returned, but all he could think about was you.
What were you doing? Who were you talking to? Or who you were with? He wouldn't need to worry about that much longer, he could by now hack into your phone and find out whatever he needed to know.
He has to have you now, especially when he saw just how in love with him you really were. Question is, would he stay here in your world with you, or would he steal you away and take you back with him?
Those two questions echoed in his mind as he looked down at you in the dark of your room while you slept. His precious treasure was now close enough for him to touch, to brush some hair off of your face.
Who the hell is gonna read all this 😂 But, I am going to bed now, I gotta get up early tomorrow. Thank you if you even read this far. Goodnight, everyone.
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farfaras · 1 year
Text
I think I got an ex but I forgot him
Part 1.
Part 2. (You’re here!)
Part 3.
-
They came up with ground rules, boundaries were important and whatnot. However, they didn’t plan on doing this for long, so they also had to come up with a believable storyline for the future course of the relationship.
This is what they have so far:
Only Dustin knew, it would stay that way. For now.
Hugs and holding hands was okay.
Pet names that were allowed included: babe, baby, honey… and that’s about it.
This will last only one or two months to really sell it.
No kisses required.
As for the storyline. That was a little bit harder to come up with. Obviously the timeline was a no brainer. They got together two weeks after Jonathan and Nancy broke up. Jonathan tried to protest. “That makes me look bad.” “Yeah well, you dating me overall makes you look bad.” “Makes you look weird, then.” “Whatever.” But they didn’t have too many options, it was that or the literal last week. And call them paranoid, but Steve thinks Dustin would see through that.
When that was out of the way, they planned the way their (fake) relationship would go wrong. “Maybe I realized I was a rebound.” “Do you want Dustin to hate me?”
At the end, what they agreed on wasn’t even that far off. They came up with phases they had to complete. Hopefully they would be able to showcase that Jonathan started dating Steve because he was supposedly just lonely and needed someone, he didn’t realize what he was doing and didn’t mean to hurt Steve. They would say they talked it out and decided to stay friends because that would be for the best. No hard feelings.
Phase one. Jonathan being an attentive and affectionate boyfriend. Steve gushing about it to Dustin.
Phase two. Jonathan spends less time with Steve. Steve starts saying he misses him now and again.
Phase three. Jonathan acts distant. Steve is freaking out.
Phase four and final. Jonathan realizes his mistake and ends things.
It was almost foolproof! And they only had to really fake in front of one person, so it shouldn’t be that hard. Steve didn’t want Jonathan to come out just because Steve needed a favor. This seemed like the best way to do it.
-
They were hanging out in Jonathan’s room, everything was set and all they needed to do now was act like a couple in front of Dustin and stand a little closer when they were in bigger groups if Dustin was there.
Easy.
But for another day. All they wanted to do right now was just chill.
Steve heard someone knocking on the front door. It was incessant and loud. They wanted to have a chill night but whoever was there, was starting to get annoying.
“Aren’t you gonna…?” Steve pointed to the direction the sound was coming from. “Are you gonna get the door? Are you expecting someone?”
“Nah, ‘s probably a salesman or something. They’re annoying but they’ll be gone soon.” Jonathan muttered, and he really didn’t seem at all bothered by the persisting knocking.
They heard Will come out of his room. “Seriously!” Teenage irritation and disdain. Classic. Looks like he’s gonna get the door.
As soon as the door opened, they heard a familiar voice. What was Dustin doing here?! Was he here to ask Jonathan about Steve? If that’s the case thank god Steve got to Jonathan before Dustin. This kid is something else.
“Is Jonathan here?”
“Wha- he’s in his room. Why?”
“I need to talk to him for a bit. Alone.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“Just- I’ll go to your room later.”
Oh Dustin really is here to talk to Jonathan.
Steve jumped in the bed and turned to Jonathan. “Quick. Cuddle me.”
Confusion was all over Jon’s face. “Huh?”
“Dustin is coming, just do it!” He whispered.
“Ugh. Harrington.” Complained Jon.
“That’s babe to you. And you said hugs were fine. Cuddles are just long hugs, come on.” Steve laid in the bed next to Jonathan.
Jonathan turned him so he could spoon him. Steve has never been the little spoon before, but it was kinda nice. They were settling when they heard a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Asked Jon.
“Dustin, can I come in?”
“Yeah, sure.”
When he opened the door his eyes looked like saucers. “Oh my god, it’s true.”
Steve just raised an eyebrow at his antics. He closed the door and sat down in the chair by the desk. “You guys are actually dating.” Dustin whispered-yelled.
“What? You didn’t believe me?”
“I’m a scientist! I need proof to believe stuff!”
Steve and Jonathan got up and sat down by the edge of the bed. They were pressed together, thighs and shoulders touching. Jonathan took his hand and laced their fingers together. “You don’t have a problem with it, do you?” Jonathan asked. He’s a better actor than he thought, he looks protective. Although this is another coming out for him, Steve thinks he’s handling it really well.
“No, no! I already told Steve I don’t care. I just kinda had to confirm it because… well I kinda want to talk about something.” Suddenly Dustin looked wary, hesitant to continue.
“Okay?” This was unexpected. Both Dustin being here and the imminent serious conversation he wanted to have based on his expression alone.
The teen took a deep breath. “First of all I wanted to ask you guys something.” He looked at them expectantly, as if asking for permission to continue. Which was so bizarre because this kid says everything and anything that goes through his mind. Steve nodded. “Are you planning on, you know, telling our friends? The party?” Why would he want to know that?
“Um.” Steve glanced at his fake boyfriend. “No, not really. At least not for a while” Jonathan just nodded at what he said.
“I think you should do it.”
“Huh?” Jonathan paled. Steve understood, that was a big thing. And sure Dustin didn’t seem to be taking it lightly but he still doesn’t understand what something like that can feel like.
“Dustin, I don’t think you get to have an opinion on that.” Steve tried to sound firm.
“No, I know just. I think it might be a good thing. Listen, maybe you’re aware of this or maybe you aren’t.” Dustin leaned in as if he was gonna share a secret. “Someone in our party is having a hard time with their… sexuality. At least I think so. I think seeing a happy gay couple could be good for them. To show that there’s hope or some shit.” He was almost eloquent, if it wasn’t for that slip at the end.
The supposed couple looked at each other, processing what the younger boy just said to them. Steve doesn’t know if Jonathan is out to Will, or vice versa. Steve is not dumb, he sees the way Will looks at Mike sometimes. It was the same way his brother looked at Nancy. It had to be hard, being so young and feeling so alone. Will had to be the person Dustin was talking about, right? The only other gay friend Steve knows they have is Robin, and Dustin has no idea she’s gay if we take into account that he wanted to set her up with Steve not long ago.
“We’ll think about it.” Steve heard Jon say. He was surprised, it looked like Jon was considering it.
“I can assure you our friends will be okay with it. And seeing that might encourage this person to come out! I really think they need the support and I wanna give it to them but I don’t know how.” Gosh. He looked so pained about not being able to comfort Will. Dustin is a really good friend.
“As Jon said, we’ll think about it.”
“O-okay. Thanks.” Dustin got up and exited the room, presumably to go to Will’s.
When they were sure he was in another room they separated and inhaled deeply.
“What do you think?” Steve asked.
“I hadn’t… thought about that.” His hands were in his lap and he looked at the door. “I’m gonna assume you know who he was talking about.”
“I’ve… had my suspicions.” Steve ventured. “Will has been looking sad lately.”
“Yeah. Maybe Dustin’s right. Could be a good thing.” He still looked a bit nervous about the whole idea.
“We don’t have to though.”
“I think we should.”
“Really?” Steve didn’t want to pressure Jon, but he also thought it would be good for Will. That kid needs support but he needs to feel comfortable enough to ask for it. No one knows how he would react if they just dumped on him the information that he’s not as subtle as he thinks.
“Yeah. How hard can it be? Same plan just, more people are gonna know.” Jon smiled. “And Will might feel better. I’d do anything for him.” Will was lucky to have such a caring brother.
Steve grinned mischievously. “We might have to revisit the kissing rule, though.”
Jonathan rolled his eyes and smacked him with his pillow.
———
This is a bit shorter than the last one, sorry about that.
I think I might post a chapter once a week.
Also, the tag list is getting really long! I don’t know if I’ll be adding more to the list.
Thanks for reading. Ps. Eddie might finally be in the next chapter. Watch out.
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evermourning · 6 months
Text
𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - han jisung
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pairing: han jisung x reader, lovertober entry viii
genre: fluff, comfort, non!idol au
wc: 8.9k
warnings: brother's best friend!han, language, mentions of alcohol, reader is OBLIVIOUS and jisung is WHIPPED, making out, gets very suggestive, getting caught, starts really fucking slow.
a/n: daylight. lover's final track. what a fitting way to end lovertober. thank you all so much for the immense support i received with this series...can't wait to see you for my next one!
p.s., i'm sorry about the length (i got carried away </3) and the delay (i have been so so so busy), please enjoy!
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you'd known han jisung for a very, very long time.
you were ten years old. it was a sunny september afternoon, and you were sitting on the brick stairs of your childhood home, watching with annoyance as your stupid brother and his stupid friends played football in the front yard.
your brother minho, ever the athlete, was the quarterback, of course. he was yelling terms that were so foreign they sounded like another language as the scrimmage commenced. you were bored out of your mind.
that is, until one of his friends sat down beside you.
"hi. you're min's little sibling, right?" he asked. his knees were covered with scrapes and cuts, a bandage places hastily over his left one. he had fluffy black hair and two dark eyes you could get lost in if you looked for too long. he gave you an awkwardly adorable smile.
you nodded skeptically. minho's friends were usually up to no good.
"yeah. why?" you asked, and he giggled. it was cute.
"i always see you hanging around whenever i come over, so i just wanted to know. why do you sit on the step watching if you never play?" he asked, genuinely wanting to learn more about you.
"my mom wants us to get our exercise in, so she basically kicks us outta the house until it's dinnertime." you explained quietly. a little "oh" formed on the boy's lips. "what's your name, by the way?"
"jisung." he said playfully, extending a hand out to shake yours. "and you're yn, right? minho's always talking about you." as if he'd been listening in, minho appeared behind him in an instant.
"jisung, we're down a player. you can't just be chatting up yn like that." he rolled his eyes. after jisung muttered a string of insults beneath his breath, minho crouched down to your level. "if he starts nagging you again, come get me, okay? i'm your big brother. i've got to be looking out for you."
"he wasn't nagging me, though?" you said, confused. "we were just talking." minho sighed.
"okay...but i'm gonna keep an eye on him. i don't care if he's my best friend. he hurts you and he dies. violently."
being friends with lee minho meant ground rules were established. they were short and to the point, usually things about privacy and things people say and whatnot, but there was one main one, one he enforced the most.
yn is off limits. no exceptions.
to minho, the idea of any of his friends dating one of his family members was just so weird. he didn't really want any of them to hurt you and have to cut off a valuable friendship. so, he made it very clear to them that they frankly did not have a chance with you.
jisung was sure he did, though.
he knew his feelings for you were so wrong, and that minho would most likely gut him if he ever told him, so he bottled them up. for years and years. fighting urges to kiss you silly when he saw your outfit for prom, when he saw you in a swimsuit, anything. once he went away to college, however, he hoped that his feelings would simply melt away and he could move on from you.
how terribly wrong he was.
fast-forward to a decade later, he was now standing outside your front door, inhaling deeply. he knocked once or twice before minho excitedly opened the door.
"hey, jisung." he stepped aside so jisung could enter, smiling widely. "how's college going?"
your final years of high school were peaceful, yet lonely. minho and his friends had ventured off to different universities, leaving you to fend for yourself. jisung, namely going to some fine arts school where he was pursuing a career in music production.
jisung caught minho up on how life was going, expressing his dismay about being dumped as he slipped into the kitchen to grab a drink.
"i didn't think you'd be drinking this early, ji." minho teased. jisung laughed, taking a swig before offering it up to him. when minho shook his head, jisung chugged the rest of it with a chuckle. "oh, by the way, i've got something to tell you. don't be weird, but yn's coming home too. i think they'll be home...in an hour or so?"
jisung choked on his drink. so much for not being weird.
"there's no way." he muttered, resulting in minho raising an eyebrow. "i haven't seen yn in what- two years? three years? how...are they?"
minho smiled, almost slyly, checking his phone.
"you're about to see."
the front door opened, and you came in frantically, your face lighting up as you saw your older brother. you rushed over to him to give him a tight hug. when you turned your head slightly to see jisung, your face lighting up into a dazzling smile, jisung swore actual butterflies were flying around in his stomach.
you had gotten fucking hot.
somewhere along the line, you'd had some glow-up that turned you into something akin to a fallen angel. (actually, you'd always been gorgeous to jisung, he'd just noticed it more now).
"as i live and breathe, han jisung!" you beamed, hugging him tightly. jisung swore his cheeks were blooming red. you smelled like lavender and chamomile and he wanted to wake up and smell that every single day of his goddamn life. "you're so different, oh my gosh. you look amazing."
your jaw was honestly dropped at his transformation. he was lean, yet muscular, his body toned and tan. his hair was curly, a chocolatey brown color that complimented his eyes and skin tone so well. and when he looked at you, smiling, god...
"tell me all about it!" jisung said a bit too eagerly, leading you to the sofa to sit down with you. "how is university? have you made a lot of friends? what are you studying?"
his question made you remember a necessity.
"wait! thank you so much for reminding me, ji. i've gotta text my boyfriend and tell him i've gotten here safe." you smiled cheekily.
jisung saw red.
"i didn't realize...you were in a relationship." he said with gritted teeth. you nodded, a bit confused as to why the mood suddenly changed to something much tenser.
"yeah, um, it's not a super serious one, we've really only been together for like five months tops, but he's sweet." you said awkwardly. something about how jisung was staring so intently at you made you feel like you had to explain yourself.
"what's he like?" jisung asked indignantly. "uh, y'know, just in case i meet him...so i can...get along with him better."
he was not slick. how the hell did you not pick up on it?
he didn't know, because he breathed a raggedly sigh of relief as you laughed and began vividly describing your boyfriend, eliciting a grimace from jisung. god, this guy sounded fucking annoying.
"let's see...he's absolutely my type. he's adorable, kind, funny, caring, and hella talented. he's a great singer." jisung was a greater singer too. probably even better than this guy. he would crush him in karaoke. "but i wish he could play the guitar...that would make him so much more desirable to me."
jisung had a guitar in his trunk he was fighting demons not to go grab. it was the way your boyfriend sounded like a carbon copy of him that had him fuming. for fuck's sake, he was right here!
it was unfair, in jisung's eyes. once you'd admitted that your boyfriend had a very short temper and could be very controlling, he'd whipped his head around so his eyes could meet minho's. minho simply shook his head.
knock it off, he was saying.
how the fuck was this absolute douchebag able to date you but jisung wasn't? it was so fucking rigged.
your boyfriend wasn't even that handsome, either. he looked like any average twenty-something year-old guy. if anything, he had absolutely fucking nothing on jisung. jisung was the hottest guy he knew. a solid twelve out of ten. this guy was a four or less on a good day.
he reassured himself, remembering he had so many fucking weeks with you, without your boyfriend. his only problem, however, was not you or that guy you were fawning over. it was lee fucking minho.
twelve years and not a single ground rule changed. jisung was still not allowed to make any advances on you. therefore, he had to get better at being sneaky.
his first (and only) attempt to get you to break up with your boyfriend was on a wednesday. it was rainy, diminishing the possible activities you could do, so you opted to watch a movie with minho, jisung, and one of their other friends, chan.
it was some horror movie you couldn't stand one bit, jumpscares at every turn. you were flinching and hiding your face in jisung's shoulder. he wrapped a strong, comforting arm around you, to which minho gave him a look.
"hey, i got you. it's just a movie." he murmured softly into your ear. you giggled.
"ji, stop it. you're so cuddly, i have a boyfriend." you whispered, not to interrupt the movie. the words stabbed him in the throat.
"i know." he said quietly, drawing his hands back slightly. "but he's not here right now. you don't need to talk about him. you were talking just yesterday about how you were worried he didn't care for you. why are you still with him?"
"well...my friends are his friends...and we have so many memories that i'd hate to lose..." it was excuse after excuse. god. this guy had really fucked with you bad. maybe if your boyfriend ended things with you, you could learn to truly love someone, namely a super sexy and talented guy named han jisung.
"that's no reason to still be dating him. you could always try and end things on good terms and then-"
"jisung, enough." your voice was firm, implying this was the final time this conversation would be held. so much for trying. eh. he'd never been much of a negotiator in the first place, anyways. now, he just had to hope and pray and pray and pray for some amazing miracle.
four days later, it happened.
minho called jisung over to hang out. the day was rooted into his mind. they were laying on the sofa, one of the cats on minho and another in between jisung's legs, scrolling through social media. you were off in your room, on the phone with your boyfriend. the walls weren't super thin, so he couldn't really hear your conversation.
until the volume raised. louder and louder until you were full on yelling and jisung could hear every single sentence. every single word. every single vowel and consonant that left your lips. you were furious.
judging by the bits and pieces he was straining to hear as he acted disinterested, your boyfriend was pissed that being back in your hometown with all of your brother's friends meant that you were fucking them behind his back or something. you were on your last straw with his controlling attitude and you lost it.
"i'm so sick of you! we're done. don't fucking text me or call me." you snapped, hanging up and flinging your phone (jisung knew this because it made a loud crash, tumbling to the floor).
minho stood up awkwardly.
"i'm gonna, um, go check on them." jisung stumbled to his feet, scaring off the cats.
"i'll come with you, min. yn's close with me, too." minho wanted to say something, it was so obvious. but his mouth remained shut as they walked towards your room.
you were laying on your bed, crying. your eyes were red and the mountain of crumpled tissues upon your nightstand progressively grew and grew.
"honey," minho began, his voice soft. he only ever referred to you that way, gentle and caring. this, jisung knew all too well, was the very reason minho was so protective of you. minho had loved and cherished you since the day you were born, fighting off the monsters in the dark just to see you smile. it wasn't that minho wouldn't be able to forgive anyone who hurt you, he'd never be able to forgive himself.
and that in itself was his biggest fear. jisung was minho's closest friend and confidant. minho trusted jisung with his life. however, this also meant that accidentally hurting you would be seen as the greatest betrayal of his life.
you flopped over, staring at minho with red-rimmed eyes. he sighed, a sweet smile upon his seemingly cold features. you really brought out the best in him.
"i'm sorry about what happened. do you need me and ji to get you anything? something to eat or drink, a blanket, more tissues...or if you want to talk, i'll stay and listen." he sat down on the bed, and you sat up to scoot over and lean into minho, fitting with him like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
"is it raining outside? i wanna look at the stars. me and him used to do that and i want solace." you mumbled as minho rubbed your back. he turned to jisung, thinking for a split second.
"i'm going to start making you some dinner. a good meal will get your mind off of this. the hill outside is perfect for stargazing. jisung can go with you. come back when you're feeling hungry, okay?"
you nodded. jisung's heart skipped a beat. this would be his first time alone with you all break! a win was still a win, regardless of whether or not the situation was ideal.
and now, here he was, laying in the cool grass alongside you. you were moping.
"there are clouds everywhere! it's not worth it. of course the universe fucks with me on a day like today." you whined. jisung gave you a hug, cursing himself when you flinched. was he coming off too strong?
you were right, though. a thick layer of clouds completely covered the stars, painting the sky a drab dark gray. the only thing that could be seen was the bright reflection of the moon, shaped into a mere crescent.
you clung to him, creating a damp spot on his shirt with your tears. he wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry into his shoulder.
"it fucking sucks, ji. i'll never get to go on all the dates i planned with him. i-" your voice broke. he patted your back. "i had a list. a list of all the things i was gonna do with him. now who can i do them with?"
"you can do them with me!" he interjected, a bit too frantic for his own liking. when you looked at him weird, he had to come up with some quick excuse he'd pray you'd believe blindly. "not in any romantic sort of way, but if you want to do them, i'm right here. we have all the time in the world."
you really didn't.
you gave him a tired smile before hugging him tighter.
"you really would? that's so sweet. you're such a gentleman, jisung."
that night, he died and came back to life. and so, the most important mission of his life began.
mission: make yn fall in love with me and do it all without minho finding out was officially a go.
he was snapped out of his daze when minho opened the door to the back porch, signaling that dinner was ready. like the perfect brother he was, he'd cooked up three plates of your favorite meal. your eyes lit up at the plates neatly made and you finished it almost instantly. minho and jisung watched you as you slid the fork between your lips for two very different reasons.
the way minho looked at you was almost motherly, like he wanted to hide you under his wing and keep you safe, to protect you every step of the way. his heart was absolutely shattered seeing you so beaten up over your now ex-boyfriend. he should've known, he told himself again and again as he sliced the vegetables, he should've known that guy was bad news. he wanted to wrap you in a bone-crushing hug and spill words of remorse and sorrow from his heart-shaped lips, to apologize for not being there for you.
jisung wanted to kiss you until you were a flustered mess beneath him. he wanted to run his fingers through your hair and caress your soft cheeks. he would have to shake these thoughts off for his next week, a week filled with definitely-not-dates with you.
monday
you stared at yourself in the mirror, spinning a bit to see all of the angles of your outfit. you'd just recently bought this top and you were a little unsure about it.
ending things with your boyfriend had completely thrown off your schedule for your break. and here you were now, getting ready to go to an aquarium with someone you hadn't seen in years. a knock sounded on your door. it was soft, as if the echo was a question.
"come in," you said, a tinge of unsureness upon your tongue. the door slid open to reveal jisung, wearing a cute crewneck and baggy jeans. he began smiling widely once he saw your outfit.
"you look stunning. i- i don't even have any words to describe you, you look so lovely. like the first warm day of spring." you felt your cheeks heat up at his words. for somebody so energetic and funny, he certainly was eloquent. it was as if he had some magical control over words and syllables, combining and separating them until he'd made the perfect match.
"thank you so much, ji! you look amazing too." his outfit was simple yet stylish, the color palette blending incredibly with yours. jisung never went out of his way to put this much effort into an outfit. was there any reason? (spoiler alert: there was)
his cheeks flushed pink at your words, and he outstretched one hand for you to take.
"shall we go?"
you'd never really noticed his hands before. you'd never really needed to in the first place. but they were soft, as opposed to the small callous on his index finger, probably from writing lyrics and schoolwork all the time. his hands weren't huge, but they were larger than minho's. his nails were painted expertly and delicately in hues of navy blue.
"i didn't realize you still painted your nails." you murmured, and he looked up, laughing sheepishly. "i remember being so jealous that i could never paint mine like you did. that's why i always asked you to do mine for me."
"practice makes perfect, i'm afraid. but you can ask me anytime, and i'd drop whatever i'm doing to help you. just say the word and i'll be there in the blink of an eye." his declaration seemed a bit off for just helping you with your nails, but everybody expressed emotions differently, so you shrugged it off.
his hand was still outstretched, never once faltering, as if he knew at some point, no matter the journey, you'd take it. and you did.
the aquarium was somewhere you'd always wanted to go with your boyfriend. it held such nostalgia and beauty that you'd been dreaming of the day you could go there with someone you'd enjoy it with. you were happy it was the first idea on your bucket list, something to get your mind off of the miserable day before.
you honestly still couldn't believe you were doing this with han jisung himself, anyways. he was your brother's best friend, and he was way too cool for you. he'd seen you as a little sister his entire life. this idea of his was out of the care and concern of his heart in the utmost platonic way possible.
jisung, on the other hand, was trying not to trip over his own two feet as he held your hand, seeing the awe in your eyes. he squeezed your hand with excitement, hoping his hand wasn't sweaty or anything. oh god...what if it was? he told you he needed to "readjust" his hand before profusely wiping it on his jeans until he was certain it was drier than the gobi desert.
the aquarium was absolutely beautiful, in shades of blues and greens. all sorts of aquatic creatures reside behind walls of glass, swimming around without a care in the world. it was divine. you walked around with jisung, hand in hand, pointing out various sea creatures. he seemed especially taken by the sharks, excitedly swiveling his head between you and the tank whenever they swam by.
eventually, you made your way to a room in the back of the aquarium, a large rounded glass tank in front of you. the lights had been dimmed to a midnight blue, letting the pale moon jellies show themselves. they languidly floated around, a dazzling sight. they were like clouds of the sea.
a wooden bench with a black leather cushion was positioned next to one of the tanks, and you and jisung sat down to rest your feet, weary from all the standing. he was looking through his camera roll at the photos he took.
you smiled at the little things he does. you'd been noticing them much more recently. the way his lips stretched into a crooked grin when he saw something he liked, the way he pouted if a picture came out bad or too blurry. it was endearing.
but it was also odd. the last time you'd been able to identify such minuscule details about jisung was when you were fourteen years old and had the fattest crush on him known to man.
you pined over him for a good seven months, making all sorts of excuses to hang out with minho and his group of friends. most of the time, his answer was a solid no. but sometimes, when he'd sigh and say "yes, but be good", you'd try and have all sorts of conversations with him. you loved his enthusiasm and interest as you spoke, as if he was hanging onto every word.
eventually, you came to the conclusion that he saw only ever you as minho's annoying kid sibling and was only being nice to humor you. you'd laid in bed, crying into your pillow, face warm from guilt and humiliation. from that day forward, you were always wary of men. you were scared that they wouldn't like you if you were too forward.
it was incredibly foolish, you realized. you'd based this claim off of absolutely nothing at all. you'd assumed jisung didn't like you. but there was no way he did, you were a hyper and silly kid and he was a teenager focusing on sports and whatever guys did.
"hey," he said, snapping you out of your walk down memory lane. a small smile graced his pretty face. "wanna take a picture with me and the jellyfish? we can make them into matching polaroids. i know you wanted to take polaroids with your boyfriend as a like- a couple idea, so we could be killing two birds with one stone?"
it was a great idea. you scooted closer to him, and he leaned in. jisung wrapped an arm around your waist, and you softly gasped at his gentle contact.
"say cheese!" he smiled brightly and you did along with him. you didn't think you'd be smiling like this the day after ending a months-long relationship. and yet, it felt like some enormous weight was lifted off your heart. you felt...free. and happy. really happy that you were experiencing this with han jisung, out of anyone.
you were so caught up in this inexplicable feeling of joy you didn't notice the pretty pink colour on jisung's round cheeks, or how he was staring at you the entire time.
tuesday
"have you seriously never been to a drive-in movie? not once in your life?" jisung asked in shock, from where he was leaning against your doorframe. he held your list in his hand, scanning it up and down. "they're holding one tonight. guess what they're playing?"
you thought to yourself.
"hmm...some cheesy-ass movie from the 80s?" you guessed, eliciting a chuckle from jisung's lips. you'd spent the entirety of your time "sleeping" and thinking about them. he'd been plaguing your mind all day- not that you minded, though.
"close enough. they're playing grease. that's from...1978, i think?"
you sighed, getting up to run a hairbrush through your messy hair. you couldn't go out looking like shit. that would be horrid.
"is it really?" at his nod, you giggled. "damn. i thought it was the 80s. i can't really make that assumption, though. i've never seen it in my life."
the way jisung's jaw dropped to the floor was so comical it was almost cartoonlike.
"what the actual hell. you've never seen grease?" his expression was stony, and for a second you were scared you offended him. then, you remembered it was jisung, who was rarely ever serious. "get your things and get in my car. we're going right now. you cannot go another second without seeing grease."
so here you were, in the passenger seat of jisung's sleek black convertible. he was driving well, focused on the road. at one point, his hand absentmindedly drifted over to rest upon your thigh. you felt your cheeks begin to heat up. when jisung became aware of the placement of his hand, he retracted his hand in a flash, apologizing profusely. his face was beet red. it was adorable. you grabbed his hand and put it back on your thigh, much to his astonishment.
"it's okay. i don't mind." you murmured softly. "you're not hurting anyone with your hand there. and the physical contact feels nice. the warmth of your palm on my freezing leg is enough for me. makes me feel human."
jisung absolutely melted at your soft words. now this, this funny feeling in his stomach which only surfaced around you, that he yearned for day after day while he was away at university, was exactly what he craved.
if he really did succeed in making you fall for him, how would it go? he'd done some digging, and your university was only a half an hour or so away from his. he could imagine it now, so vividly it was almost a film playing in his brain on repeat. he could text you sweet messages like "good luck!" or "how was your day?" and if he felt like it, he could come see you.
he would be the best boyfriend ever. way better than that dickhead guy.
he pulled into the drive-in theater, where an assorted group of cars where already there. various people had already settled in and were watching the beginning of the movie. few families were there, but most of them were people on dates.
"do you want to get out of the car? i have a picnic blanket my roommate from university lent to me that i'll gladly lay out on the grass, if that's what makes you comfortable." jisung suggested, pulling out a patterned grey blanket from the back seat. "i'm okay with whatever you want."
"let's sit on the grass. we're on a hilly area, so we'll still have a good vantage point. and besides, from up here, you can sing your heart out."
"we can sing our hearts out." he corrected. "don't think you're getting out of this one easy, hun. be happy i'm not forcing you to learn the entire 'greased lightning' dance."
you'd always liked funny guys.
the movie began, the plot exactly how you imagined it. however, it was actually really good, with fun choreography and surprisingly good songs. jisung knew every word, an imaginary microphone magically appearing in his hand the minute he heard the first few beats of a song.
it was so fun. he'd pass the "microphone" to you, staring at you in awe when your lips parted and you began singing the melody, soft and sheepish from embarrassment. your voice was heavenly. like the song of a siren, the way you hit every note with talent and poise and then proceeded to giggle it off saying "you weren't as good as him" was absolutely insane.
at some point, you had become so incredibly engrossed in the movie. rizzo was walking through the school, singing her heart out and it was so powerful you didn't even notice the wide expanse of goosebumps covering your body.
"oh my goodness, you're shivering." jisung noticed with urgency, and you peeled your eyes away from the screen. now that your focus was no longer on the movie, you felt the chill begin to overtake you. you snuggled into jisung, trying to capitalize on the heat leaving his body.
"you're right, i didn't even notice..." you gasped slightly, your teeth chattering. jisung pulled off his coat and gave it to you.
"here, put that on." he said, getting up to grab something else from his car. what was he hiding in there?
"won't you be cold without your coat, ji?" you asked with concern. he was wearing grey sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt that wasn't made of any warm material in the slightest. he grinned, pulling out a fluffier blanket and wrapping it around the both of you.
"not anymore." he moved in closer until you felt your body against his. it was almost therapeutic. your head fell onto his shoulder, eliciting a tiny gasp from jisung's adorable lips.
the drive home was anything but silent as you excitedly rambled about the movie, explaining your favorite parts to a quietly satisfied jisung. he loved listening to you talk about things that made you happy. the way your hands moved to match your words with fluidity, the way your voice became higher with some foreign excitement. it was just like how you were when you were little.
"what are you smiling about?" you teased, noticing his adorably rosy cheeks in the pale moonlight.
"i'm sorry...i just absolutely adore listening to you talk about things you're passionate about. it's so endearing." he admitted, immediately focusing his eyesight towards the road ahead as to not see a reaction he'd be disappointed by.
if he'd just looked with his periphery, he would've noticed the flustered mess you'd become with a single response.
that night, you laid in bed, thinking long and hard about your relationship. these endeavors with jisung were exactly what you'd wished for time after time with your ex, only for him to fall short.
wait.
now that you were spending time with him again, you'd come to a conclusion. han jisung and your ex-boyfriend were uncomfortably similar, with their clothing and hair styles, their mannerisms, and their personalities. it didn't give you uncomfortable flashbacks in the slightest. in fact, you came to a massive conclusion.
you'd never gotten over jisung.
that was why you'd dated someone so similar. and you were still just as hopelessly in love with him as you were when you were a teenager.
oh shit.
saturday
you were in too deep.
every single date with jisung, you fell more and more in love with him. with his smile, his laugh, his gorgeous eyes, his caring nature, every single thing about him.
with every touch he placed on your skin, light as a feather, you felt yourself tread further and further past the point of no return. you couldn't stand it. you were running out of opportunities to confess.
what if you never saw him again after this? the next time you'd see him would probably be his graduation, and by then he might be in a relationship with someone. not a good one, because you'd come to the conclusion that nobody loved jisung like you did. even when you felt like you didn't, some core part of you kept that.
you loved passionately, most of the time confidentially. you kept your crushes to yourself. but if you had determined that you quite literally could not live without him, now that you'd grown so accustomed to seeing him every day.
you were in your sleep clothes, an oversized hoodie that was a hand-me-down from minho and flannel pajama pants when minho knocked on your door.
"good morning." he said softly, smiling at you. he held dori in his arms. "i made us breakfast. care to join me?" you loved weekends when you were with your brother.
your parents were always busy, so you'd really been raised by minho. he worked as a dance teacher outside of his studies, working late nights at the studio just to provide for the two of you. you loved your brother, to the moon and back.
you sat at the table, eating breakfast, contentedly listening to him talk about how his students were progressing nicely. you were so busy trying to get a piece of a scrambled egg onto your fork you almost didn't hear him pop the big question.
"so, um...jisung has been coming over a lot recently. care to enlighten me as to why?" he asked, almost nervously. "he's my best friend, yet he's coming over for you, and you're hanging out with him what- every night? i'm not mad at you or anything. i just wanna know the truth."
you sighed. you were much too embarrassed to admit you had any sort of feelings for jisung. it wouldn't hurt if you didn't lie...rather...skirted around the central idea, would it?
"he's been helping me cope with my breakup. i love you and i know i can tell you literally anything, but there's just something different about telling your story to a friend. you already know it, min."
minho probably did not believe your sob story one bit. however, if he didn't, he clearly didn't show it, because his lips parted to release a soft "ohhh."
"i get it. thanks for being honest." his words sent a pang directly to your heart. you hated lying to your brother. but, you were going over to jisung's house tonight and you had to make sure there was no suspicion on minho's part.
after a strenuous hour of getting ready, you were finally prepared. you took a deep breath, knocking on jisung's door. his family home was in your neighborhood, luckily, so you could just walk.
he opened the door, his eyes warmed at the sight of you.
"you've done it this time. you're the most gorgeous person i know. there's no competition. i know you're just in casual clothes, but damn." his mouth was agape, and he looked you up and down. you laughed at his words, trying to avoid the fact that your face was burning from his simple compliments. "i'm rambling, oh my god. let's go inside."
he stepped aside so you could enter. you'd always loved his house. his parents were very fond of interior design, so it was so architecturally beautiful it made you smile. the couches, walls, paintings, and doors were all color coordinated. once jisung led you through the door to his room, your lips stretched into an even wider grin.
it was so...him. rock band posters were plastered everywhere, and it was organized and minimalistic. he had a computer and some producer supplies, and in the corner of the room sat a gorgeous acoustic guitar.
"wow, it's so beautiful!" you said in awe, running a hand down the smooth wood. "i've always wanted to learn how to play. can you play some songs for me?"
he nodded, pulling the guitar off its stand.
"let me tune it real quick, and then we're good to go. any song recommendations?" he asked as he began tuning the instrument. his fingers moved swiftly, expertly. he bit his lip in concentration. "sad songs? love songs?"
"a love song would be nice. you can choose one." you responded, coming over to sit beside him. he thought for a bit, before beginning to strum a lovely chord progression. the song was on the tip of your tongue, and once he started singing, you were in for it.
i found a love, for me...darling just dive right in, and follow my lead
it was perfect. of course it fucking was. you felt your stomach flip with delight, playing into some hopeless fantasy that he was singing it for you. that he was playing the guitar so beautifully, trying to convey a message.
i found a girl, beautiful and sweet...oh, i never knew you were the someone waiting for me
you inched closer. his eyes were focused on yours, and he sang with a smile, never missing a beat.
'cause we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was
was he singing it to you? was he telling you to your face that he loved you, or were you just delusional?
but darling just kiss me slow, your heart is all i own, and in your eyes, you're holding mine
you couldn't do it anymore. he had to know. you couldn't hide it anymore.
"jisung, stop." you said shakily, and he obliged.
"what is it?" he asked, concerned. had he done something wrong? he would admit, he was carried away with his serenade because all of his feelings were so fucking real, but if he was making you uncomfortable, he'd stop instantly.
better now than never.
"um, this is gonna sound really weird, and you have every right to say no or tell me to get out..." you were rambling, and jisung was silent with an unreadable expression. "i have, like, really strong feelings for you. and it didn't just happen. i loved you when i was little and i love you now, i just stuffed these thoughts away to the back of my mind. if you think about it, my ex was just a cheap copy of you."
jisung wasn't talking. he was just staring at you with his jaw dropped.
oh shit. you fucked everything up. over a decade of friendship. ruined.
"it's okay, i'll just go, i'm so sorry...it's obvious you don't like me back." you said, humiliated. as you went to leave, you felt jisung's hand wrap around your wrist.
"did you just say i don't like you back?" jisung murmured in disbelief, shaking his head. "oh my god. you are so fucking oblivious."
you cocked your head.
"what?"
he led you to sit on the bed next to him, his skin flush against yours.
"how have you not realized i've been head over heels in love with you since we were in grade school?" he sighed. "i never pursued you because min doesn't let any of his friends date you. but i thought of you every day while i was at university. i dreamed of you when my brain was too tired to think. i dated here and there but i was a horrible, horrible boyfriend because i never wanted them. i wanted you. but you never noticed me pining over you. does that make sense?"
you nodded, fighting the tears of joy threatening to fall from your eyes. you reached a gentle hand towards jisung's, and he enveloped your hand in his, holding it tightly.
"can i...kiss you?" he asked softly, waiting for your permission. you nodded, your heart racing as he leaned in. his thumb brushed against your cheek as his lips met yours in a gentle kiss ten years overdue.
it was sweet, laced with a quiet passion that grew as he kissed you again and again. it was so lovely, almost as if fireworks were shooting off in the distance.
when he finally pulled away, his hand rested on your hip and he was breathing a little heavier, staring at you with a twinkle in his molten chocolate eyes.
"will you grant me the immeasurable honor of being mine? no lies and no miscommunication this time. i promise." he held out his pinkie, and you giggled as you curled yours around his.
"you've got yourself a promise, ji." you replied, bursting with delight.
a realization dawned on jisung. he hadn't even brought minho into the equation.
"one problem. minho wouldn't be happy with me if he found out about this. he's told his friends and i it for years- you're off-limits. but now...i just broke his rule. we're gonna have to sneak around behind his back..."
you patted your boyfriend's shoulder. god, it felt divine being able to say that.
"it's okay. he won't catch us." you laughed softly, giving jisung a hug, solidifying your love in stone.
thursday
you'd almost been dating jisung for two weeks! this was an achievement for you, because every single day you were with him felt like you were drifting away on a fluffy cloud of ecstasy. he made you unfathomably happy.
so far, hiding your relationship from minho was going surprisingly well. to try and throw him off of your trail, the three of you started going out more when minho didn't have work. you'd also convinced jisung to prioritize minho's texts and hangouts for the time being.
it was a lot easier said than done, though. minho was observant and cautious, picking up on any unusual signs and forcing you to come up with lies on the spot. he'd look skeptical, but not push the question, thankfully. however, some gut feeling told you he'd find out any day now.
how would he find out? you asked yourself. would he see you two in public from a distance? would a friend inform him? would he find out accidentally? it was a scary thought.
one night, you were laying on your bed, reading some book your mother had recommended to you. it was an amazing book, filled with intrigue and plot twists that left you reeling and begging for more. in between your legs, resting his head on your chest, was jisung.
you'd learned from him being your boyfriend that he was a total sucker for physical touch. like a koala, he was always clinging to you by any means possible.
"baby..." he whined, flipping over to rest his chin on your tummy. "what's in that book that could possibly be more important than me?"
"someone just got murdered, ji. they're trying to figure it out." you replied ignorantly, eliciting a whine from jisung. you giggled, reaching a hand down to entangle your fingers in his dark curls. he sighed dreamily as you massaged his scalp.
"boring, boring, boring." he muttered, grabbing your book out of your hands and placing it neatly onto the nightstand. "shit. how should i save your page?"
"there's a bookmark in the book! use it! han jisung, if you doggy-ear that page, i will fuck you up." you laughed loudly.
thankfully, tonight you had zero worries about minho catching you and jisung. he was working out with chan and then he had an hour and a half teaching private lessons for one of his students. he wouldn't be home until at least 8:45pm, and since it was like 6:30 you could probably sneak jisung out by 8:20pm and get a twenty-five minute grace period to make it look like nobody had been over. life was good.
all of a sudden, jisung gave you a devilish grin, and positioned himself so he could easily climb on top of you.
"ji, what are you doing?" you asked with a chuckle, reaching up to caress his soft face.
"givin' you lots of kisses, duh." he leaned down to brush his soft lips against yours, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. the kiss grew more and more heated in a blink of an eye. it happened so fast. one second he was giving you gentle kisses, like the touch of a fairy, and the next his tongue was in your mouth dancing with yours.
he pulled away after a very long makeout session, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his raw, swollen ones. he licked them with a smile, and shifted a bit so he could lean down and press wet, open-mouthed kisses along your neck, shoulders, and collarbone. you almost groaned at the sensation, but covered your mouth with one hand. jisung giggled at this.
"you don't need to hide those pretty noises, babe. nobody can hear us. we're alone." he snickered, before resuming his work kissing and sucking on your neck until your skin was littered with baby bruises the color of cherries. thankfully, jisung wasn't an idiot, so he only left marks in places you could easily cover with concealer or hide with your shirt.
to him, you were ethereal in this position, pressed into your bed. lips raw and parted in an "o" shape, hair splayed out in a halo around you, your chest heaving.
"you look debauched in the loveliest way possible, gorgeous." he grinned, his fingers now reaching down to the buttons of your shirt. "don't you feel embarrassed at all? i'm literally going down on you on your childhood bed."
you laughed breathily.
"shut up and kiss me again."
your response was cut short. you would have said something more, something almost provocative, if your door didn't open abruptly.
"hi, honey. i'm home early. my student was sick, so i'm gonna get started on dinner-" the scene was almost comical. you and jisung both turned your heads in slow motion to see minho standing there, a grocery bag in his hand and shock upon his face. "jisung. get the fuck off of them or i'll snap your neck."
jisung shot upright, cheeks beet red as he helped you up. minho noticed the marks on your skin instantly. he looked furious. you'd never seen your brother this way, ever.
"we have been friends for what- fourteen years? and what has been the recurring thing i have told you, time and time again?" minho hissed. jisung hung his head in shame.
"you said yn is off limits." he murmured. he slowly lifted his head to meet minho's eyes, searching for the tiniest speck of sympathy, but there was none there. "look- i can explain."
"what is there to explain, jisung?" minho snapped. "'oh, i always want what i can't have, so i'm gonna defile my best friend's sibling behind his back.'"
"min, that's not what happened." you tried. no luck. "i confessed to him first. if anything, it was me. not him. don't take this out on him just because you won't take it out on me."
"don't even say anything. i don't want to hear a single word out of you. everything i do is to protect you! i've looked out for you our entire lives. i...i love you immensely and endlessly, yn. that much is true. but i can't allow this. i wouldn't want to lose jisung because of something you did or something he did to you. and i wouldn't want to lose you because you're so hurt by someone like him." minho's voice broke. he was done. he sighed, and stormed off.
you turned to stare at jisung.
"i, um, think you should go." you murmured, wrapping your arms around him and kissing his cheek. his toned arms made their way around your waist, and he hugged you tightly.
"okay. text or call me if you need anything. let's figure this out tomorrow."
you were with jisung. you loved him so much. but what was the cost of loving him?
friday
minho wouldn't speak to you.
he left for chan's before you woke up, sending you a brief text telling you where he was. you opened the fridge to see a plate stowed aside for you, a sticky note with your name on it on top. huh. even though he was mad, he still went out of his way to make breakfast for you.
you knew you were in the wrong. it wasn't okay of you to sneak around behind minho's back, but if he was too petty to talk to you, then it'd be hopeless.
after eating, you called jisung. he picked up on the first ring, like he always did whenever you called.
"minho won't text me back. he's leaving me on read. god, he's petty when he's mad." his voice sounded a bit gravelly, meaning he'd probably just woken up. you hoped your call didn't serve as an alarm for him.
"i feel bad, ji." you murmured, flopping down onto the couch. the cats sensed your discomfort and padded over to you, rubbing against your legs and purring to try and get you to relax. "i know he would've been mad either way, but do you think he would've been less of a dickhead if we'd just been up front about it?"
"i guess. i'm embarrassed i suggested we keep it a secret. but what's past is past. now, we've got to figure something out. i love you, but he's my best friend of fourteen years. and i love him, but i've been madly in love with you since i was a kid. i don't want to lose either of you."
you smiled fondly at his sweet words. sometimes, he always knew the right thing to say to put you at ease.
"when he gets home, i'm going to talk to him. i'll text you how it goes." as you were saying this, the front door opened and he stood there, looking at you with a cold expression. you wanted to cry. "speak of the devil, he just got home. i love you, bye." you hung up, feeling absolutely powerless. but you weren't defeated yet. you still had your words.
"min," you began. "now that we've blown off some steam since last night, can we talk? jisung and i care so much about you, and neither of us want to lose you."
you followed him to his room, where you sat down on the bed beside him. he was not too enthusiastic.
"well, you shouldn't have jeopardized that by fucking my best friend." minho replied solemnly. you were infuriated.
"i haven't fucked him at all, min. don't jump to conclusions. besides, we haven't even been dating for two weeks. see, the reason we were hanging out so much is because he was helping me with a this sort of- bucket list that i had, of date ideas. and i didn't get the chance to do them with my ex, so i did them with him." you explained. minho was listening, thankfully. "and then, i realized i had feelings deep down for him i'd been harboring since i was younger. and i couldn't keep them in anymore, so i told him. and he told me he'd been in love with me since i met him."
minho nodded, his eyes still untrustworthy.
"okay. how much do you love him?" he asked.
"i love him so much it hurts to see this happening. you're his best friend and he's suffering without you. he was texting me, complaining all night. and no, i know what you're going to ask. i don't love him more than you. romantic love and familial love are on two very different ends of the spectrum."
minho was silent for a moment, reaching out to take your hand.
"i'm sorry for acting this way. i'm sorry for punishing you with silence. i've watched you grow up from a little kid with big round cheeks to the successful, loving person you are today. when you broke up with your last boyfriend, it took everything in me not to go fucking kill the guy for breaking your heart. but this, this is different. jisung is my best friend. i love him so much, and i don't know what i'd do with myself if he ever hurt you. if anybody i cared about hurt you." you gave your brother a tight hug, and he wrapped you in his arms.
"i understand. but we both know jisung isn't that kind of person."
"and you," minho whispered, and you barely caught it. "will you promise not to break his heart? i'll...i'll think about getting behind this if you do."
"i promise. i swear on my life."
that night, you lay in the grass once more with jisung, staring up at the stars. his arm was wrapped tightly around you as you pointed out various constellations with a jubilant look upon your face. god, you were adorable. he rolled you over slightly so he could press a loving kiss to your lips.
the sky was clear, the clouds pushed away to reveal an angelic array of twinkling lights, set against an ebony blackdrop.
"you can see the stars tonight." you whispered gleefully. jisung laughed.
"you can, can't you? they're really beautiful. just like you said. just being here with you brings me eternal solace." he brought your hand to his lips and softly kissed each of your knuckles. "i love you, to the moon and to saturn."
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a018233 · 10 days
Text
--౨ৎ. Rent-A-Gf/Bf x Yandere Andrew
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𐙚. Summary : Andrew is feeling more lonesome than usual until he downloads a rent-a-partner app .
𐙚. CW: yandere content, gn reader, Andrew has a wet dream about you. nsfw content, delusional Andrew. Modern au.
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ᡣ𐭩 Andrew is already 24, and he has never been on a date. He hasn't even kissed anyone, nor has he been kissed by someone.
ᡣ𐭩 He can't be bothered to make friends when he struggles to keep the ones he already has.
ᡣ𐭩 Andrew can't help his brooding nature that scares people off. Even if they managed to look past that, the way he speaks makes them skadaddle off.
ᡣ𐭩 He's always been that way, it's a miracle he managed to keep the current friend group he has now.
ᡣ𐭩 He's tired of the dating talk, he doesn't bother trying anymore. It's not like he had interest in the first place.
ᡣ𐭩 That is until he came across a Rent-A-Partner ad. It spikes his curiosity a little. The next thing he knows, he downloaded it and already made an account.
ᡣ𐭩 It's not like he's *actually* going to do it. He's just scrolling through profiles out of curiosity.
ᡣ𐭩 Until he comes across your profile, oh. You're so cute.. maybe a one-time rental date shouldn't hurt. It's not like he has other things planned..
ᡣ𐭩 The progress is not complicated at all, pay the rental fee, meet up and go on the date, and that's it. He's nervous leading up to the date, what the fuck was he thinking? Was he that lonely that he succumbed to this?
ᡣ𐭩 He feels embarrassed that he made sure to shower and dress nice prior to showing up. He debated leaving and canceling until he felt a gentle tug on his arm.
ᡣ𐭩 "Excuse me? Are you Andrew?" You ask, tilting your head to the side.
ᡣ�� Andrew can't help but swallow thickly, nodding. He could feel himself tensing up. He tries not to stare, but the way you dressed was.. adorable.
ᡣ𐭩 He prays you don't notice how sweaty his hands are. Who is he kidding? Of course you noticed.
ᡣ𐭩 Yet not a complaint. If anything, you hold his hand a little tighter, like a kite on a string you didn't wanna let go of.
ᡣ𐭩 God, you're such an angel. The way you hold his hand without disgust. The way you wait with a soft smile when he keeps stuttering over his words.
ᡣ𐭩 Andrew wasn't sure where to take you. So he ended up taking you on a simple date such as the movies.
ᡣ𐭩 He was originally going to take you out on a cafe date and then walk around through a park. But he could barely mumble a word out before awkwardly guiding you to the movies.
ᡣ𐭩 He doesn't remember what movie you two had seen. All he could think about was how your hands intertwined. He hopes you don't mind how rough, calloused, and sweaty his hands were.
ᡣ𐭩 The way you were making him feel, he might as well go in cardiac arrest.
ᡣ𐭩 When the movie ends, you have about 30 minutes left to the date. So he settles for taking you out to a nearby cafe to talk about the movie and whatnot.
ᡣ𐭩 He finally manages to choke out a few sentences. He knows he looks stupid. He feels as if his face is on fire when he talks to you.
ᡣ𐭩 Normally, people would've found a way to end a conversation quickly when they talk to him. He wouldn't have blamed you if you decided to end the date early. But you didn't.
ᡣ𐭩 You're such a doll, listening to everything he has to say while you sip on your sweet tea. You even ask follow-up questions.
ᡣ𐭩 So when the date does end, he feels his heart tighten. You bid your goodbye, giving him a cheek kiss. A little something to end the date.
ᡣ𐭩 The night he goes home, he has a little pep in his step. Randomly giggling to himself as he's reminded of the date. The way you leaned against him, or how you held his hand tightly. Even his roommates are put off by him, more so than usual.
ᡣ𐭩 He's still giddy when he turns down for the night. His mind is filled with you. The way your hands felt like against his is something that will play on repeat for him, so soft.
4:47 am, and it's not that surprising when Andrew wakes up in a hot sweat. He was dreaming about you and your hands. He groans, feeling his briefs get tighter.
He grimaces once he realized he had a wet dream about you, he feels ashamed and gross. He tries to sleep it off only to no avail.
He finds himself yanking his sweatpants and boxers down to his ankles. Watching his angry tip throbbing for release.
Instead of using his dominate hand, he uses his left. It's a little sloppy and uncoordinated but that way he can pretend it's your hand instead of his.
He pumps himself slowly, whimpering and cursing softly under his breath. He shouldn't be doing this, he's aware of that. But he's so helpless. His mind is filled with lewd thoughts and 'what ifs' of you.
He tries not to make any noises to wake his poor roommates, imagining it's your hand that's jerking him off.
Would you be disgusted with him if you found out he was acting so degenerate? Or would you guide him? Maybe even praise him. You would, right? Since you're so nice and pretty..
His breath quickens and so does his pumping, it doesn't take long before Andrew ends up cumming all over his sheets.
Andrew sighs, shaking his head. He knows he should change his sheets and take a shower, but he feels so worn out. He settles for laying back down. Trying to fall asleep once more while he thinks of other places he can take you next time.. maybe something like an anaquarium or an indoor ice-skating ring.
ᡣ𐭩 You don't have regulars often, but lately, you've been getting them a lot more. Andrew also happens to be one of them.
ᡣ𐭩 Andrew books you at least once a week. He can't help but sulk knowing you go on a date with others.
ᡣ𐭩 You felt it too, didn't you? So why are you going on a date with others?
ᡣ𐭩 At this point, he actively believes you two are dating. He also believes you're cheating on him.
ᡣ𐭩 It makes him want to pull his hair out when he stalks you out on your little affairs. He's grinding his teeth when he sees you kisses their cheek like you do his.
ᡣ𐭩 Oh, but he's not mad at you. He could never be upset with you for too long. You simply don't know any better.
ᡣ𐭩 Don't worry, he forgives you. And as a good boyfriend, he'll make sure you don't have other distractions. You are just misguided after all.
ᡣ𐭩 Even if it means showing up to your little date with bloodied and bruised knuckles. No more regulars means more time slots for him to book you, and more time to spoil you. And maybe this time, you won't lead astray.
A/n: I wanna do more rent-a-partner but idk who haha, I already have Joseph down... mhfhg..
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AITA for tattling on a guy who was cheating with me?
So for a few weeks I was long-distance sexting this guy. (I am also a man, if it's relevant.) It started off as mostly just a really exciting connection because I wasn't expecting to wind up SO compatible with someone from the site I found him on, either sexually or emotionally. We wound up both having tumblr accounts, incidentally, and started chatting and following each other here. And really quickly our conversations were hitting a balance of like 90% sexual, 10% lowkey romantic, and the latter was increasing by the day. Nothing really overtly serious especially considering how little time passed, but we were also talking almost constantly for several days at a time, and with both of our sexual tastes involving a flavor of tenderness, tbf we were kind of inarguably acting like real lovers. Wake-up texts, goodnight texts, "i love you"s (granted in the context of sexual rp), talking about how we'd cuddle afterward, etc.
Then one day he texts me with a confession to make: that he has a boyfriend, and he was afraid to mention it before but he thinks I should know, and this isn't at all him saying he wants to stop what we're doing bc he's been really happy talking to me. He just doesn't want me to have to find out by any other means about him having a long-term relationship and be surprised, in case the two of us get more serious. He told me that he and his bf are stable together but not sexually compatible anymore and emotionally drifting apart in general, and what we'd been talking about were all the things he was missing from his sex life and whatnot.
I can respect that he wanted me to hear it from his own mouth that he has a pre-existing relationship, but I couldn't respect the fact that he was cheating in the first place. Admittedly I also hated to feel like I was someone's side piece, whatever their reason for wanting one was. Part of it was specifically that at night we'd talk like we were each lonely and needing to be touched meanwhile he actually did have his boyfriend right next to him. It just rubbed me SO wrong.
So after that, for the first time I went out of my way to search his blog and I pretty easily found the account of his bf and I sent him screencaps of the conversation, including the confession. I thought he deserved to know that his partner of 2 years was trying to have an affair.
...And this is where I've been made to feel like maybe I went too far, in fact I've been told by friends specifically that I did go too far, either in including screencaps of that guy specifically detailing his relationship, or in reaching out to his bf at all. But idk, I have a pretty strong reaction to cheating bc I feel it's one of the worst ways you can hurt someone. And in a way I feel cheated on, too? Given the few weeks that I was under the impression I was talking to someone who was single and lonely just like myself rather than partnered and just bored. I expected to get some kind of angry response so I preemptively blocked the guy I'd been sexting and I have no idea what he might have tried to say to me, if anything. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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