#tbh this almost felt like my first comeback with them (it isn’t)

[ddaengju]

i expected excellence from everglow. like i knew. i knew it was coming and yet i was still blown away by how stunning the entire song and video was. the vocals. the visuals. the choreo. it was just everything i wanted and more. 😭

[wintersera]

countdown || winter x g!p reader

notes: I KNOW MY ASS SHOULDVE PLANNED AHEAD, but anyways it’s out! i didn’t expect to write this much tbh but we move. reader is also an idol btw and an 02 liner

cw: g!p reader, switch!minjeong, switch!reader, exhibitionism, little bit of begging

wc: 3.9k

[10:00pm]

“have a very happy new years. everyone stay healthy and eat well. oh! and don’t forget to greet your friends and family a happy new years as well!”

that was it, the end of the new years event. all the cameras were turned off as you and your label mates wished the fans a happy new years. you, in the middle of the youngest and oldest of le sserafim, waved at the fans and blew them all a kiss before you were led by the hand of your leader, kim chaewon, to the bottom of the stage. but you couldn’t leave your fans without saying another goodbye. you let go of your leaders hand and ran back on to the stage throwing a heart sign to one of your favourite fansites before chaewon shouted at you to come back “okaayy okay, wait a second unnnie” laughing at your leader increasingly losing her patience.

“lee y/n, hurry up we need to go” her brows furrowed a little while eunchae pointed out the crease in chaewon’s brows. she cracked up way too much “hong eunchae, it really isn’t that funny” she didn’t say much after that, she just held onto yunjin’s shoulder in attempts to surpress the laughter “sorry unnie, you just looked a little silly”

[10:20pm]

once you had gotten changed out of your stage outfits and into your casual clothes, that being an oversized black hoodie and your pants that you wore almost everytime you went outside, the staff members called you towards them, making you sit down on their chair so they could get you out of the makeup. removing your stage makeup was a hassle, getting those coloured contacts weren’t for the weak, although you should be used to it by now. it took a long time to get everything off, including the extra accessories that were wrapped around you like crazy. but anyways, you finished up washing your face before sitting down to wait for the other members. since you were the first one to be done, and you tend to get bored easily, you wander around the halls looking for something to do, whether it be finding an idol friend of yours to record a silly video, or just to chat to one of the staff members, you needed to do something to cure your boredom.

by chance you saw kim minjeong, your girlfriend, aimlessly walking around the place much like you were doing. now was the perfect time to ask her to come see you after she had gotten out of her performance outfit.

you hadn’t seen minjeong in what felt like years, it was a few months and you saw eachother when she flew back to korea calm down. being so busy with her world tour and her two comebacks this year, you only managed to go on a few dates this year, and sometimes when she did have breaks, you were busy because of your tight schedule as well. since her groups comeback, ‘drama’, you didn't see her for a good two months. did it hurt? absolutely, you missed seeing her, missed her touch, her smile, her everything.

luckily she was here, approaching you actually… wait she walking here? snapping out of your little daydream, you realise that minjeong was right infront of you.

“what’s up with you? you look like a lost puppy”

“oh wait, hi jeongie” smiling wide at her, yeah you looked like a puppy in her eyes to be honest “i was about to ask you something you came at the right time because i was about to ask you a question” you say while playing with the hem of your hoodie “so… you know how we haven’t seen eachother in months right? i was just thinking about spending some time with you somewhere after you get changed”

“where exactly?” she asks with curiosity. not so much questioning you in a bad way, just curious of what you had planned. she tilts her head to the side, wanting to charm her way into you giving her an answer, it didn’t work, although she was very cute.

“you’re not tricking me with your little head tilt” chuckling as your face turns light pink “it’s a surprise you dummy. just text me when you’re done and i’ll come to your dressing room” she nodded her head and gave you a peck on the cheek before she walked away satisfied by seeing how bright your face got. you weren’t exactly discreet with your relationship anyways, people were shipping you before the two of you were dating, for some reason, which made it easier for you to carry out skinship whenever you’d meet up in public. meaning that small kisses on the cheek, hand holding and hugs meant that the fans thought you were queer baiting aggressively, oh they were so wrong.

“i’ll see you later loser”

[10:40pm]

a good twenty minutes go by and you were waiting outside of aespa’s changing room, phone in hand just in case minjeong called or texted. the stylists really took their sweet time trying to get minjeong out of the stage outfit she was wearing, i mean to be honest, it did look like her dress took time to put on, especially with those strings and stuff at the back, and the various other little things that were included in the fit. a couple more minutes and she comes outside, surprised that you were to her side when she opened the door “oh, hi. thought you we’re gonna wait outside the building”

“well, i thought it would be better to wait for you here. and also because it’s warm in here” you reply back to her.

minjeong wore this casual white skirt despite the weather being cold, it was a little too short as well, but it’s not like she cared about it anyways, she had a hoodie to wear as well so i guess she was fine, she also had these white leg warmers to keep her from shaking, although you didn’t understand how leg warmers could keep her toasty. she looked pretty, really really pretty that it made you think of a ton of inappropriate things, that could wait for later though “i’m gonna go ask your manager a question, i already got the green light from mine, and i’m hoping, HOPING, your manager agrees” you dramatically throw your hands in the air, looking up to the sky. minjeong just looks at you like you’re stupid, although she loves how playful and reactive you can get when it comes to her. she nods accordingly, allowing you to go into the changing rooms “stay here pleeaaseee”

“what for?” she throws another questioning look at you.

“a surprise, you’ll see” smiling at her cheekily. you knock at aespa’s door, they open and greet you with a ‘heyyy’ you close the door checking if minjeong was listening “minjeong step away from the door”

“aw mannnnn”

you spend a couple of minutes explaining the plan to minjeong’s manager, she agreed that it would be a good idea, and since aespa didn’t have anything scheduled for the next week, you could take minjeong out on a silly little birthday thing with the help of your manager. you came out successful, a smile on your face as you look at minjeong “come on, follow me babe” minjeong follows you eagerly, hand in hand as her manager bids you two a fun night, maybe she got the implications of to why you booked a night at a fancy hotel, well you hope she didn’t, that would be kinda…. strange, but besides the point, you walked to your waiting room for your manager.

“are you for real gonna take the managers car?”

“you know i can’t drive YET, and plus, if i get an uber that’s gonna cost me so much money, y’know they’re overpriced” your manager was sat there waiting for you and minjeong, crossed legged and everything “are you ready to go yet?” your manager asks “oh yeah, we’re ready” pushing herself off of the chair, your manager escorts the both of you two the company car.

[11:00pm]

after ten minutes of driving towards the hotel, it should’ve taken five but your manager got lost trying to navigate the car down a street. you don’t know how she ended up in that damn street, but google maps said otherwise, you finally end up at the reception desk waving goodbye to your manager that dropped you off “a hotel? and a really… pricey one?” again, questioning you.

“only the best for my favourite unnie~” you jokingly teased her, although you were younger by a year, she’d told you not to call her unnie after you had gotten closer, excluding the times you met on camera and during the times you met while you were still on the job and in public, of course.

“yes ma’am!” you chuckle.

“that’s not any better” hitting you lightly on the shoulder.

after speaking with the receptionist about your room, she gave you the keycard and gracefully pointed towards the elevators where the guy who carries peoples luggage smiled sweetly at you, even though you didn’t have big ass bags or anything, he offered to carry your handbags. you respectfully declined as you didn’t have much to carry anyways, but he kept insisting. besides the porter being too much of a nice guy, you ended up on the highest floor of the hotel, the fifth floor to be exact. not too high and not too low, just enough to see the sky clearly and just enough for people not being able to recognise you both when you step out into the balcony.

finally stepping into the room, minjeong was greeted with a small cake on top of the room's table that you bought from one of her favourite bakeries. written on it was ‘happy 23rd birthday minjeong’ accompanied by a small little smiley face next to the text that you personally drew on yourself. she noticed a few balloons in the corners and a few more decorations here and there.

“you did this? for me?” fighting back the urge to have this big loser grin on her face.

“like it?” worried that she wasn’t gonna enjoy something so sudden for her birthday. your hands reach the hem of your hoodie again, bunching the fabric up

“i-i do like it, i love it actually. why the expensive hotel though?

“i thought it would be nice to celebrate elsewhere and um…” your face heated up at the thought of explaining why you exactly booked a hotel, specifically at night, and on her birthday “well… i haven’t seen you in so long, i missed you a lot and so, y’know, hotel room.. you and me… alone. i mean we don’t need to do anything, i-i just wanted to spend some time wi-“ minjeong cut you off, pressing her hand against your lips.

she giggles “thank you y/n, i’ve missed you a lot too. the whole tour and the comeback… it’s been like a few months since we haven’t seen each other, i’ll make it up to you” she leans in closer and closer. you weren’t even inside the room properly yet, both you and minjeong were still standing at the entrance. you wasted no time and dragged minjeong towards the bed, you sitting down on the edge while minjeong straddles your lap. her lips grazed against yours gently. the kiss was slow, steady and loving. minjeong’s small giggles as she presses her lips continuously on yours made your heart skip a few beats, god she was so cute. tiny little whimpers fell from her mouth as you relax into her touches. the feeling of your own body made minjeong moan, she loved feeling your curves, quite frankly she loved touching everywhere. from your neck, down to your collarbone, your arms, waist, hips, thighs, your entire body really.

the kiss gradually turned passionate, with minjeong grinding on your lower half while she deepens the kiss. her eyes opened, half lidded as she took your face in her hands and stared at your dazed expression. her lips parted again, smashing her lips onto yours as she kept rocking against your bulge “mmmngh… minjeong” you whined into her mouth, your bulge growing extremely hard and becoming undoubtedly uncomfortable against the fabric of your pants.

without even saying a word, minjeong gets off your lap, complaining to her that you miss her touch already, she laughs a little, the dissatisfied look on your face made her crack up knowing that she would clearly tend to your needs regardless. she knelt down at your legs, parting them open and slotting herself in between your thighs, face way too close to your crotch “jeongie?” you weakly call out for her.

“hm? what is it” jerking her head up while her hand reaches around to tease your cock.

“please” you whisper loud enough for her to hear you, but also quiet enough so that you wouldn’t get so embarrassed “i’m… feeling shy” that came as a surprise to minjeong, usually because you were the one making her feel embarrassed.

“hahah, cute. y/n we’ve done this so many times before, you’re so full of surprises today, aren't you” she says as she unzips your pants slowly. the adrenaline made your head feel fuzzy, after all it’s been months since you were intimate with her. your breath became shaky as she finally took your pants off, your hand covering your face as she fiddled with the elastic band of your briefs “relax y/n, i’ll make you feel good” finally pulling them down. your hard cock sprung up making minjeong exhale. she licked her lips hungrily, paying attention to how you were twitching without her even touching you.

“hurrryyy, minjeong i need you” your desperation was as clear as daylight. the way minjeong stared at you like a dumb puppy made you want to take her head and shove your cock so deep into her throat, but it was her birthday so you let her have control… for now. she acted dumb, asking how you wanted her, as if it wasn’t obvious enough. you pleaded, begged for her to use her mouth which you missed so much “jeongie, mouth… please” you whined. it didn’t help as she was having too much fun with teasing you, a smug smirk on her face, and if you weren’t on cloud nine already, you would’ve noticed a mischievous glint in her eye.

“hmmm, beg for it again. you sound so cute when you say please” she noted your uncharacteristic shyness and took advantage on it, laughing while she looks you straight in the eye. again, you covered your face, turning your head to look at the wall instead of her.

“don’t make me beg, anything but that. i’m embarrassed, please don’t make me beg” gripping onto the bed sheets when she moved her hand around your shaft “s-stop, i don’t wanna beg” you were the one to always tease her, karma, you guess. all that teasing you did finally came back to you, and now you were lost.

“but you want it don’t you?” yes, you did want it.

“p…please, want your mouth around my-” you caught yourself stuttering and slurring your words. the more you spoke, the faster minjeong stroked your cock “mmh, want it around m-my cock please” no words were exchanged afterwards. minjeong went straight to your cock, taking it all with ease. her tiny mouth was always so skilled when it came to pleasuring you. every single time that she sucked your dick, you were always so surprised that she could take your girthy length. seeing her mouth so full of you made you practically rock solid, even though you were pretty much as hard as you could get. she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and pushed herself further, taking your dick all the way back to her throat, tip hitting it whenever she bobbed her head up and down. this caused you to grab her head with both of your hands, you let your head fall back all while she was suddenly very focused with swirling her tongue around your tip.

fuck, you wanted to fuck her mouth, hold her mid length hair into a ponytail and push your cock all the way in, chasing your own high and disregarding your girlfriends comfort, but you remembered that you wanted to let her do whatever. her endless switch up between fast to slow, to then slow to fast, and then fast to slow, made your head spin.

savouring the taste of your dick in her mouth, minjeong hummed in satisfaction, the low hum causing you to moan back in response. minjeong felt your thighs tensing, your hands tugging her head urging her to come closer, and your cock twitching inside of her mouth. you were oh so sensitive to the point where you couldn’t take the abrupt pace minjeong was going at “close- so close” you moaned out, careful that your voice wasn’t too loud just in case the people next to you could hear.

your breathing became irregular, sharp inhales and exhales as your legs begin to tremble “m..minjeong, gonna cum- i’m gonna cum” you sharply inhaled again before you called out minjeong’s name once more, cumming all in her mouth and holding her head still so that she could swallow it all.

[11:50pm]

minjeong gave you a few minutes to come down from your high. your legs were still shaky, but you managed to put your clothes back on before suggesting that you should go to the balcony to watch the fireworks. you left minjeong to it, taking pics of the cake while you wash up in the bathroom, which didn’t really take long. with new years in mind, you bought these cheap ass sparklers that you could possibly light up on the balcony. you weren’t too sure if you were allowed to use them, but it’s not like you were going to light it up inside of the actual hotel room. minjeong guided you excitedly to the balcony, hands intertwined and laughing like you were kids again.

“waaahh, the view from here is insane. i’m glad i booked this room in advance” taking in the fresh winters air “and the balcony is big enough for us to light this” you took out the sparklers from your bag with a childish grin on your face.

“awww cute, you bought sparklers as well” her eyes lighting up as she looks at the package “can we light them up now?”

“YES, yes we can- sorry i got excited” opening the sliding door to find the lighter you also packed, you came towards minjeong and asked her to hold the end of the sparkler, you did the same and lighted hers up first. minjeong took out her phone and recorded you lighting it up, her excited squeals being caught on video while you were in the back laughing as well. it was a sweet moment for the both of you, cherishing the last minutes of 2023 with each other.

[11:55pm]

the last spark, and then it went out. you both looked at eachother and went towards the railings, your shoulders touching each other as you both gaze at the skyline.

“i’m so glad i met you y/n, i can’t wait to spend another year with you. this time i hope we get a vacation or something, a few weeks off with you would be good enough for me”

“me too, i hope our schedules this year aren’t too heavy. i know hybe is like chill with us, but i don’t know about sm… oh well, i just hope we get to see each other more often”

[12:00am, the first of january 2024]

all of a sudden the bells chime, cheers from the people on the streets could be heard throughout the city, fireworks were being set off from every direction, painting the sky a beautiful colour. to see this with your lover was truly a blessing.

“minjeong…” you whisper again “happy birthday and a happy happy new years” you say sweetly before kissing her on the lips.

in all honesty, you still felt kind of horny. coming from behind minjeong to pull down her panties, the cold air hitting her inner thighs which made her jolt “w-wait, people can see us from up here” she said, swatting away your hands that were about to reach under her hoodie.

“no one’s gonna pay attention to us, everyone is focusing on celebrating new years. it’s only us” pressing your cock against her bare pussy. you unzip your pants again, letting it fall to the ground “plus it’s dark and we’re very high up, so no ones gonna notice our face either” you move aside her hair, pressing a kiss on her nape before you let your hands roam underneath her hoodie, and then under her bra.

“y… your hands are cold” her hands grabbing on tightly to the bars, attempting to stifle her moaning as you pinch and pull at her hardened nipples. ever so gently pushing your cock inside minjeongs already soaked pussy, you tease her asking if she got wet by sucking your cock. she reluctantly agrees by nodding her head

“go on, say that you got wet” that was karma for asking you to beg.

“i-i can’t, they’re gonna hear us” whispering under her breath while also attempting to keep her moans low. you reassure her that no one’s going to hear the two of you, it was just you and her alone in the moment and no one else “…fuck, fine… sucking your dick made me wet, you happy?” you moaned in response to that, smiling and saying “yes” while you slowly pumped in and out of her pussy.

you were clearly pussy drunk, your hips moved on their own, grinding your cock hard into her. minjeong felt warm and her pussy was tight, almost making you drool as you kept pushing in further and further. the sensation of minjeong clamping down on you made you almost moan too loud, catching yourself off guard you covered your hands just in case anyone heard you, ironic right.

i guess you could say the cold made minjeong even more needy, she wanted to keep you as close as possible, asking you to wrap your arms around her waist as you kept pounding into her tight pussy “y/n, y/n- keep going, feels amazing~” you assumed that you hit the spot that she loved oh so much, her moans becoming higher as you rammed harder.

“like this jeongie? mmgh.. you want me to fuck you like this, huh?” taking one hand out of her shirt to place it on top of one of her hands that were still gripping onto the steel metal bars.

“y/n- i’m close, so close… fuck me faster.. go faster” obeying her, you move as fast as you thought was needed, slightly bending her over. at this point you were getting too dizzy, knowing that you were also close to orgasming, you hold her waist, practically slamming her into your cock “oh god… about to— hnngh, cum” minjeong’s pussy throbbed and clenched around you so tightly that it made your eyes roll back, her legs spasming as she came around your cock, breathless as she called your name out weakly. you followed, grabbing her waist and pulling her in, not letting go so you can spill every last drop of semen inside of her.

“god… i’m… exhausted” you say between breaths. with new years over, and another plan to take minjeong out on a date when you wake up, you carry her back inside kissing her forehead “happy birthday again jeongie” smiling sweetly at her

“mmmm, thank you y/n”

a/n: they at the cake as well don’t worryyy

[justreadingfics]

Looking For a Heartbeat - (26- Final Chapter)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left. It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Word Count: ~4.5k

Warnings for this chapter: sugary sweet fluff all the way, happy endings clichés because author loves them and couldn’t help it.  

A/N:  I need to thank @lesqui, @nedthegay and @suz-123 who on different times of the process of writing this long ass fic helped me by reading it and beta-ing for me. This is it, the final one. It almost feels like an epilogue, tbh. It’s been a long journey and as much as I’m happy with the end, it’s also pretty much bittersweet for me. I can’t express how important it was to read every comment reblog, messages and asks, to see the likes and reblogs, the yelling, the love, the laughs and loving words. There’s been so much love I can’t really deal with that, lol. Seriously, thank you. I hope the ending is satisfying, but I know there’ve been different expectations for this story. This is how I always imagined the ending, I hope you like fluff. More A/N at the end.

Masterlist link on my description.  

  The repeating sound of the pen hitting against the notebook is something you’ve grown used to and, as unexpected as it can be, it turns out to be kind of relaxing for you.

But not to the man beside you.

You glance to your left on the couch and see his leg bouncing. The drop of sweat running down his forehead is also evident as his arms are kept crossed in front of him. Bucky is obviously nervous and Heloise being so quiet while staring at him from under her glasses with an unreadable expression for so long certainly isn’t helping.

It was your idea to start couple's therapy with her and now it’s your first session together. Heloise has been helping you so much throughout this time and, as sure as you and Bucky are of how you both feel for each other and what you want from the relationship, it felt right to seek some professional support to help you find the right pace.  Even with her peculiar ways – which you’ve particularly fond of by now- you know she’s the right one to help you.

Heloise clears her throat. The exaggerated loud sound cuts through the silence and makes Bucky flinch beside you. Her eyes finally advert from him to you while she points her pen at him, “Now I can tell why that other doctor went bananas for this one,” she deadpans.

Bucky chokes on absolutely nothing and you can’t help but smirk, “You should see him shirtless.” You wink at her, ignoring when Bucky gasps even harder than the first time and snaps incredulous big eyes at you.

Heloise’s shoulders move as she chuckles and writes something down on her notebook. Bucky cocks an outraged eyebrow at you. With a smile on your lips, you shake your head dismissively and give him a reassuring squeeze on the knee. He still seems unconvinced, though, eyes narrowing suspiciously at you. He’ll get used to her eventually.

Heloise claps her hands, grasping your attention, “Alright, let’s make this relationship last. Spill all the juice.”  

~~~

5 YEARS LATER

The giggles are loud enough for you to hear from outside the front door of your apartment. Her giggles, to be specific. The smile comes out easily on your lips just to the sweet sound of it.

You take in a deep breath before twisting the knob. As soon as you walk into your apartment, the voices become clearer.

“Don’t lie to me, daddy.”

“That’s all true, I’m telling you, if Uncle Steve see a little tiny spider he’ll be quaking in his boots, my Sun.” Bucky’s voice is soft an amused coming from the kitchen.

Summer’s sweet laughter comes shortly after as they continue the conversation.

Wanting nothing but to hold them tightly before you get to tell them the big news, you drop your bag to the floor by the door and whistle the four tunes the three of you have come up with and that belong to you only. A way to recognize each other without needing any words.  

They’re quiet right before you hear a chair scratching against the floor and tiny bare feet running to you.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy.” The little ball of energy rushes into the living room and lashes herself to your legs.  

You’ve been on a mission for days now and you were only supposed to comeback on Sunday, but it’s one day before and your presence here is a surprise for her. A pleasant one, you can see.

“Hello, my little sun,” You laugh, reaching down to pick her up. She’s much heavier now at the age of 6 than she was as a baby, but you still love to take her in your arms just as much as you used to, especially after so many days away from her, depending solely on video calls whenever you had a little time to see her, “I missed you so much,” You lean back and take a good look at her, seeing how much she’s grown to look just like you – except from the eyes, which is all Bucky - and attack her little face with kisses as she squirms and giggles, wrapping her arms around your neck.

“Me too.” She pops a long kiss on your cheek back as you step to the couch and sit down, keeping her on your lap, “Daddy’s making cupcakes, I know it’s almost lunchtime and he said he wasn’t gonna but then I told him I really, really, really wanted to eat his cupcakes because they are so good and better than the ones at the bakery, and then he decided it was ok, and then he made a lot of chocolate, vanilla with chocolate chips, blueberry, strawberry-”

As she continues her childish rambling, your eyes travel to behind her shoulder and meet the sight which will never cease to take your breath away. You take in a shuddering sigh as Bucky leans his side to the doorframe, arms crossed in front of him, watching you and Summer with that look in his eyes. That look that comes with a small smile and makes you very much aware of your thundering heartbeats and tells you how big his love for you and your daughter is.

Over grey shirt and sweatpants, he’s wearing his black apron, the one which Summer gave to him at Father’s day, after using her fingers to write “Super Dad” with white paint and he never takes it off when he’s in the kitchen.

You smile as he leans away from the doorframe and walks towards you. Without breaking his gaze from your, not even once, he sits beside you and pulls your chin for a kiss. You sigh through the soft and longed touch of his lips.

“Ugh, daddy, I was talking to mommy,” Summer puts her little hands on both your cheeks and pulls your faces apart from each other, making you both chuckle a the imposed separation.

“Sorry, honey.” He fumbles with her hair, “But daddy missed mommy very much.”

“It’s ok,” She forgives with her signature sweet smile, “I missed her, too.” She leans forward and lets her head rest on your chest, hugging you with a strength she should possess.

“Aw, I missed my two little suns so much,” You hug her back just as tightly and props a kiss on Bucky’s cheek.  

Bucky hums and keeps running his hand through Summer hair as talks again, “Not that I’m not happy with the surprise, but weren’t you supposed to be back tomorrow? How was the mission? Is everything ok?”

“Yes… I think it is,” You gulp, swallowing down the words that are desperate to come out but you still have no idea how to say them.

He frowns at you, not pleased with the answer, but visibly doesn’t want to start an inquiry in front of Summer.

“Did you fight a lot of bad guys, mommy?” She asks, not moving away from the spot where she’s nuzzled into you.

“I did, my sun.” You run your hand back and forth over her back, “Me, Auntie Wanda and Uncle Sam.” You tell her after placing a kiss on top of her head. She always loves to hear about your missions.

Her powers have been slowing showing signs, being mostly expressed on an uncommon intelligence that allowed her to learn how to read at 3 and build her first artificial intelligence (a little pug she named Maggie) at 4 with the help of her Uncle Tony, who’s always more than happy to allow her wander around his labs. Her physical strength is still shy inside her, but you know it will soon flourish. You know she’ll be a great fighter someday. Hell, she already is.

“I can’t wait to grow up and be a badass,” You and Bucky exchange looks due her choice of words but she goes on, unfazed by it, “Just like you and Auntie Wanda, and Auntie Nat, Auntie Carol, Auntie Pepper, Auntie Shuri and-”

“Hey, daddy’s pretty badass, too.” Bucky puts on an exaggerated pout, placing a hand on his waist.  

“Of course you are, daddy.” She leans away from you and turn to him to pat his beard, “Your cupcakes are super badass.” She says, before continuing her chanting of the names of her super aunties.

You look at him and laugh at the smug satisfaction on his face by her answer before not being able to resist in placing a kiss on his cheek one more time.

The mission to rescue Summer five years ago was also Bucky’s last mission. It was no secret, that life was never what he really wanted and after discussing it in therapy and a lot of talking with you and Steve he decided it was time for him to dedicate himself to the mission of his life: taking care of his daughter, you and, most importantly, himself.

Whenever people ask, he says with a notable amount of pride in his words, that he’s a stay at home dad. By the way, he’s become very popular among other parents (mostly moms) that were regulars at the parks he usually takes Summer to. He doesn’t know, but there’s a group chat of moms where he and his qualities as a dad – physical included- are the main subject. How do you know that? After Summer’s kidnapping, you’ve become very keen to find out exactly who interacts with her, and being an Avenger is very useful to provide you the right tools for it. Yeah, you tell yourself that’s the only reason why you spy on those moms… but they’re harmless. You’re very fond of a particular thread where they mentioned how much he gushes about you.

“Mommy,” Summer gasps, “It’s Saturday, you’re going to uncle Harry and Auntie Nat’s house with us, too.”

“Yes, of course, baby. I can’t wait.”

Nat and Harry’s famous Saturdays Movie and Dinner nights. They’re your neighbors now. After the wedding, the five of them - Harry, Nat, the two kids and Harry’s mom- moved to a new apartment on the Tower for safety reasons. Tony has made the place impenetrable after what happened to Summer and nothing like that ever happened again.

You’re thrilled to have all your friends – your family - so close to you. Summer worships Jon and Luna, who’ve been growing up so fast, turning 11 real soon with a Harry Potter themed party, which you’ve been helping Nat to plan for her kids. Yeah, her kids. She’s not just Auntie Nat for Luna and Jon, anymore. It happened at Summer’s 3rd birthday party by one of the Tower’s pool, a year before Harry’s marriage proposal. Luna was running after a tiny stray kitty when she tripped on her toes and fell right to the ground. Her crying was loud as she held her injured knee close to her chest. Harry and Nat were at your table and they both promptly got up.

You could see how strongly Nat had to hold herself back to let Harry run to the little girl’s rescue, who already had her twin brother by her side, trying to console her but to no avail. She had already confided in you how much he loved those kids, but didn’t really know how far she could go with them without imposing. But what made the jaws from everyone around drop was when Harry kneeled beside the kid only to make her cry even harder and scream pointing at Nat, “No, I want my mommy.”

“Come here, mommy, please,” little Jon pleaded holding his twin hand and looking at Nat’s direction.  

All eyes snapped at Nat and it was just a split second that she looked taken aback before rushing to attend the little girl, succeeding to calm down her daughter almost instantly with the help of her son.

While Harry kept a goofy smile on his face the whole day, Nat spent an hour crying in your bathroom. They ended up adopting the kitty which caused Luna’s trip and naming him Rocket.  

“I’m so happy you’re here, mommy,” Summer throws herself into your embrace again.

“Me too, babe,” Bucky nuzzles into the crook of your neck, managing to embrace you and Summer with his metal arm.

Your eyelids flutter shut and you sigh, relishing in the pile of pure affection you’re under, breathing in the love they have for you.  

The sweet quietness doesn’t last long as the child in your arms straightens up briskly, making Bucky’s arm drop from her back as she stares at him with widened blue eyes matching his, “Daddy what about our surprise?” 

Bucky stiffens beside you as you turn to him, “Ooo, really?” You inflate the astonishment in your tone, licking your lips in anticipation. Surprise with Bucky and Summer when you come back from missions always means some delicious food he prepares to welcome you back.    

You frown at how Bucky aims a flustered glare at Summer. Oh, this is new... Your narrowed gaze turns to your child to see her little hands flying to cover her mouth. You have to hold yourself back to not laugh at her theatre. You know her so damn well, you’re certain she didn’t let the said surprise slip out by accident and it intrigues you more.

“What are you two up to?” You tilt your head at Bucky.

Still looking at Summer, his expression softens and his smile is indulgent at her, before shifting his gaze back to you, “Well, I guess there’s no better time than now,” He turns back to her, whispering “I have an idea, come with me.”

Without further notice they both get up briskly, Bucky takes Summer’s hand and ran to the kitchen, leaving you open mouthed behind as you hear soft laughs and whispers between them.

Well, that’s just fitting. No matter what they might’ve planned for you, it’s rather unlikely it will beat the surprise you also have for them. You have absolutely no idea of how you’re going to tell them that, only that you must tell them soon or you will burst into anxious little pieces right there.

It’s only a few more minutes when, at the living room entrance, their sight catches your attention. You smirk while side by side they walk to you. Summer with a huge grin on her face, while a nervous little smile curls Bucky’s lips. You only notice Summer has one arm behind her back when they both kneel on the carpet in front of you.

You’re up till now amused face by their antics falls and your frantically beating heart rushes up your throat. Your suspicions are confirmed when Summer brings her arm in front of you and reveals the blue velvet box you thought was securely guarded in your bedroom’s safe. You hadn’t another sight of it ever since you moved apartments. She opens the box and there it is. The diamond Bucky bought you years ago.  

“Mommy,” Summer’s sweet voice makes you lift your astonished gaze to her, “Will you marry us?”  

A sob slips out of your mouth and you turn to Bucky to see the tears already shining on his expectant eyes, gleaming with warmth but also with a little bit of uneasiness, you can tell.

He pours all his love into his gaze to quietly mouth for only you to see, “Will you marry me, my love?”

“Yes.” You don’t need a second to think as you sob out your answer, “Yes, of course, I will marry you,” You repeat more steadily despite the tears and you drop to your knees in front of them to grab both of your loves into your arms. While Summer squeals her joy, you feel Bucky breathing deeply, holding you back as strong as ever.

“Thank God,” he whispers, “I love you, I love you,” he repeats in your ear, before trailing a path of kisses to your mouth.

You two turn into a couple of 6 year olds just like your daughter, giggling and laughing as he pushes away only to gently take the ring Summer was guarding in her hand and finally, finally put it in your finger, where it always belonged. You’re the one to grab his face by the neck and kiss him again, hoping he can feel all your love. You know he does as he kisses you back just as fiercely.

The shy giggles makes you break the kiss with a laugh of your own as you turn to your daughter and sit down on the floor, holding her on your lap as Bucky takes his place beside you, resting his back on the couch.

“I was so nervous you would say no, mommy.” She lets out an exaggerated sigh.

Your head falls back as you and Bucky laugh, “How could I, honey when I love you two so much, of course I would say yes… as a matter of fact-” You breathe in some intake of courage, looking from Summer to Bucky, before taking their both hands and placing them on your belly, “Not only I, but we will marry you.”  

They both catch your meaning instantly as their eyebrows shoot high on their foreheads, the resemblance between them, expressed on their eyes and many mannerisms turning especially evident then.

“What?” Bucky whispers, still pretty much astonished and without taking his hand from your belly.

“I’m going to be a big sister?” Summer brings both her hands to her mouth, keeping her eyes widened at you.

“Yes, my love. I hope it makes you happy.” You try to smile to hide how nervous you are by telling the news to them. You’ve talked about the possibility of a new kid before and Summer even asked for a little brother or sister, but it was all speculation and  this definitely unexpected. Something wrong might’ve happened to your birth-control pills and-

“Happy?” She squeaks the word in a high-pitched sound, “I’m super mega ultra happy.” She gets up from her spot and starts jumping on the carpet with her little arms up, properly celebrating the news, like only a carefree child would.

You laugh and feel a little bit of relief calming down your chest at her reaction, but the fact Bucky’s still silent and just staring at you with a dropped jaw doesn’t allow your heart to be fully rested.

Summer stops jumping to look at you with a vibrant sparkle on her face, “Oh, I have so many toys I wanna share with them.” She says before turning around and rushing to the direction of her room.

You can't help but laugh at her good-hearted energy, “Hey, sweetie, no, we can see that later-”

“I’m coming right back, mom.” She yells, already in her room.

You chuckle a bit more before you chew on your lower lip, looking back at Bucky, “Hey, big news, huh?” You tentatively say, “At least she took it ok-”

His lips are on yours before you can finish whatever you were going to say. With every caress, every brush of his tongue against yours, you feel each little muscle of your body relax and you sigh through the kiss when his hand fondles with your belly and his other one goes to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer.

“Is that true?” He whispers, letting his forehead rest against yours when he breaks the kiss.

“Yes,” You nod, wrapping your arms around him, “I got really sick several days on the mission and then I decided to buy a pharmacy test and voilà, here we are.”

You see his chest moving up and down as he takes in a breath, “I made such a shitshow back when you tried to tell me about Summer-”

“Bucky-” You try, not really wanting to remember those times right at that moment…

“I was such an asshole and I stole us the chance of living the news together,” he continues, stroking your belly and keeping his head linked to yours, “Now I have this second chance,” He lets out a breathy smile and your heart softens, “You make me so damn happy, I love you so much.”

“You make me happy, too,” You assure him, “You and our little family.” You pull him to one more kiss.

“Another kid?” He smiles, as the kiss is over, looking down at where his hand rests on your belly, “Will you want to find out the sex before birth?” He wonders.

“As a matter of fact,” you cringe, “I already know.”

“What?” He frowns “How?”

“Yeah, I mean… you know Wanda was there at the mission, too, right?” He nods and you continue, “And you know how much her powers have been enhancing? Well, she has a strong feeling and-”

“No.” He shakes his head, and his hand leaves your belly so he can put a finger on your lips, which you place a small kiss on, “I think I don’t wanna know this time.” He admits, shrugging.

You smirk, nodding to accept his position. But to be honest, you can’t wait to see his reaction when he finds out that soon he’ll have one more girl to call his.

“Hey,” You say, raising your finger with the diamond on, “What about this?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Oh,” It slips out of his lips as a blush creeps up his cheeks and he brushes the back of his neck, “I know I should’ve asked that sooner, but the life we have so far all always felt so good, I didn’t even think-”

“No, silly,” you chuckle, putting a small kiss on his lips for reassurance, “I know that, we already have been happy enough, it’s just- this ring, I had in a safe locked with a code, did you…” You tilt your head.

“Oh, no,” His head falls back as he puts his hand on his stomach to let out a laugh, before nodding towards Summer’s room.

Your jaw goes slack, “Really?” You frown.

“I found the missy playing with it the other day.” He says more proudly than he should.

“Are you telling me the 6-year-old kid not only found the safe, but also broke in the code to open it?” You scoff when he nods, still overly smug about it, but after the shock passes you can’t help but feel a little bit of pride, too. Right then you know that, if that’s what she’ll really want, she will be an exceptional Avenger someday.

“When I saw the ring after so long, I knew it was time. She agreed.” He brings a hand to cup your cheek, moving his finger to caress your face as his loving eyes meet yours, “We were planning a special dinner for tomorrow, but I think she just couldn’t help herself.” The crinkles beside his eyes are adorable as he lets out a soft laugh, “It’s always been yours, anyway.”

Unable to part your gaze from his, you sigh as your heart thunders against your chest. You’re about to kiss him again when the sweet voice you love so much holds you back.

“Mommy, mommy,” Summer pants and runs back into the living room, holding as many toys and stuffed animals as she barely can, even letting some fall on her way, “I think the baby will like these,” she points out, dropping the toys in front of you.

“Of course they will, baby. Especially if you play with them together,” You agree, fuzzing with her hair.

She raises her chin and gives a toothy grin before addressing to Bucky, “Daddy, I think we should celebrate with your cupcakes, what do you think?” It’s nothing but adorable when her little eyebrows wiggle with the suggestions at her dad.

“Hmmm, I think you’re absolutely right, my little Sun.”

“Yaaay,” She exclaims, raising her arms and bouncing on her little legs, “Which one do you want, mommy? I’ll go get it for us, we have all kinds: vanilla, chocolate, vanilla with chocolate chips, strawberry.” She counts the flavors with her fingers.

“Alright, I love daddy’s cupcakes, I’ll have one of the strawberry ones, please.” You wink at her.

“Ok, one strawberry coming your way right now.” She says before turning on her heels and bolting to the kitchen.

“Hey, what about me?” Bucky yells, but receives no answer.

You laugh loudly at the pout that forms on his lips before leaning in to place a kiss on his cheek, “It’s just because I’ve been away, honey. You know you’re still the love of her life.” Your heart melts when his lips curl into a smile, still looking ahead to the kitchen, “And you’re mine, too.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair.

He tilts his face to you, fully smiling, before his eyes darkens and he leans in to run his lips up your neck, “Later.” His tongue teases the delicate skin of your neck, making you shrug your shoulders and giggle, “When we’re alone in our bedroom,” He drags his lips over your jaw and the giggle catches in our throat, “I can’t wait to show you how much you’re the love of my life, too. One time,” he kisses your jawline, “Two times?” the other side, “Maybe three…” his lips lock onto yours - breathless at the promise.   

His tongue darts to curl around yours and the kiss deepens as you pull him to you.

“Ugh, are you two being gross again?”

You pull apart, laughing as Bucky whispers something like “so much like her uncle Steve”, under his breath.

“Says the girl with chocolate all over her face.” He scowls lightheartedly, when she’s closer to you and the remains of chocolate on her jaw is the evidence she had one sneaky cupcake in the kitchen, “Oh, I see someone remembered her poor old daddy exists,” he adds, spotting the third cupcake – chocolate chip, his favorite – on the little trail in her hands.

She giggles, placing the trail next to you and Bucky and squeaking in surprise as Bucky catches her in his arms and screams “Tickles attack,” making the little kid toss and squirm, before she manages to escape from him and latch herself into your lap for shelter, only for you to attack her with kisses this time, being followed shortly by Bucky.

Is not always that easy.

Is not always that perfect.

You two still struggle, you two still fight, sometimes over the stupidest things and other times over not so stupid ones. But it’s love…and, like you and Bucky have said before, love isn’t perfect.

You’re just not afraid of it anymore.

~~~

The End. 

A/N 2: I’m having a hard time to detach myself from this story and I’ve seen a lot of people who writes drabbles/one-shots per requests or not for their story after the ending. I’m considering doing it next year if that’s something you guys would be interested, too.

Also, if you really liked this story, please, don’t hold back on sending me a message!

[seokjinsdisciple]

Riddikulus- ten

jungkook x reader, hogwarts!au, enemies to lovers!au

Warnings: language, arguing, cheating, caught cheating

Word Count: 1.3k this part is all over the place tbh

THIS IS UNEDITED

<previous  ten  next>

series masterlist

taglist: @nellaphine @elixirguks @softfluffgirl @sensiblebutch, @deolly, @zeharilisharaban, @jungshookmeup

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ON THE TAGLIST SEND ME A DM OR AN ASK

You had firmly decided that you hated your friends. The first party with all of them after his injuries was spent teasing you and your reaction to Jungkook being in danger. Apparently, the rat himself had told everyone about your help, and the fact that you had cried over him. 

Just like that your festering anger had returned, and you truly had no idea how you had forgotten just how cruel Jungkook could be. 

“What’s on your mind?” Jimin asked, running his fingers through your hair in a comforting motion. 

“Jungkook,” you spoke, leaning your head against Jimin’s shoulder, “And before you make some sort of shit joke, yes I hate him. I’m just kinda frustrated that I did all of that work for him, and he just goes around the whole school making me look… I don’t know, weak.”

“Princess, everyone in this school knows you aren’t weak,” Jimin laughed, “I mean hell, half of the school is terrified of you.”

“Yeah, yeah yeah. But that doesn’t matter,” you spoke softly, Jimin’s fingers lulling you into some much needed sleep.

“Do you wanna hear what I think?” Jimin spoke just as quietly. You gave him a noncommittal grunt from your throat. “I think you are hurt that Jungkook took the nice, friendly thing you did for him and turned it into another aspect of the feud you two pretend to have.”

If you had been sleepy before, you were far from it now. Jimin’s words making you sit upright. 

“What do you mean our pretend feud?”

“Oh come on,” Jimin said, “You might be able to fool the whole world, your brother and even Yoongi, but you can’t fool me. I know you. And I don’t know anyone who spends that much time with their enemy by choice, especially when it involves helping them.”

“We made a deal, he’s giving me something in return, Jimin.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself princess,” Jimin stood up, his face unusually serious, “Just know that I see how you look at him, and it’s certainly not with hatred.”

And with that he was gone,  leaving you to contemplate whatever the hell he had just told you. It was true you felt a little hurt that Jungkook told the whole school about your help. But as far as the rest of his revelations about your feelings, you didn’t agree. You couldn’t agree. 

You let out a deep sigh, falling back onto the emerald couch and closing your eyes. There was no chance you’d be able to get any sleep with your thoughts swimming like this. 

--

You trudged slowly into the potions room, barely making it to your seat in time before Slughorn’s lecture began. You felt Jungkook's eyes on you, but for the moment, you refused to look over. His smug little grin had been the reason you didn’t get any sleep. 

“You look like shit,” he whispered, having peered his head around yours in order to see your face. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. 

“Thanks Jungkook,” you whispered back, “I wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend when you are so good at giving compliments.”

He just grinned at this, seemingly satisfied enough with your lively comeback to decide you weren’t dying. 

When Slughorn was done lecturing, Jongkook sprinted to the ingredients cabinet, returning with enough ingredients for the two of you before you could even stand. 

“At least you’re fully recovered,” you said, trying your hardest to push aside the feelings that came with the fact that he had gotten your ingredients for you.

“Yeah, no thanks to you making me study potions.”

“Oh please, like you even remember what the essay I wrote you was even about.”

“Thanks for that by the way,” he added, his voice dropping in volume. 

“Did Jimin tell you to say that?” you asked, shooting a glare at the back of the silver haired boy’s head sitting a few rows in front of you. 

“And what if he did?”

“Then it doesn’t count, Jungkook.”

“Well I just thought I could thank you in a different way.”

He waggled his eyebrows at you, smirking at your disgusted face. 

“Gross, that’s never gonna happen.”

“Oh my god, snake princess, I was joking. I meant by telling you something that you should know.”

You met his gaze finally, an eyebrow quirked in curiosity, “And what would that be?”

He took a quick glance behind the two of you, where Seonghwa and another Slytherin boy were so focused on their potions they didn’t even notice your gaze. 

“Seonghwa is cheating on you.”

Time stopped for a second, the calmness of his voice not matching the seriousness of his words. Seonghwa wouldn’t do that to you. Well, actually he probably would. You had been pushing him away recently, but you never expected this. Jungkook was watching you intently, as if waiting for you to break. That’s when you realized he must be lying. He must be trying to get under your skin. 

“What an awful trick to play on someone,” you spat back, bottling your finished potion and stuffing your books in your bag. 

“You think I’m lying?”

“Yeah Jungkook, no offense, but being nice to me isn't really your strong suit.”

“Fine,” he said, hurt flashing across his face so fast you almost didn’t see it, “Check the empty divination classroom tonight, and don’t come crying to me when it turns out I’m right.”

“Fine.”

“Fine,” he said back, looking like a hurt puppy as you turned and walked away. 

--

You had no reason to believe Jungkook. In fact, you could think of several reasons why he would lie about something like that. The problem was you could think of several more reasons why he wouldn’t lie. 

You sat in the common room, debating whether or not to go to the empty divination classroom. You had been so lost in your thoughts all day, both Yoongi and Jimin shooting worried glances to each other, before trying to text your brother. You barely put up a fight, and when they saw that, their worry intensified.  

You stood up in the middle of Jimin’s story, not really paying attention to the gaze of your friends. Your eyes were locked on one sight only, Seonghwa leaving the common room. 

You hurried out of the room, following Seonghwa at enough of a distance where he wouldn’t notice you, but close enough so that you didn’t lose him. Your heart dropped further when you realized where he was heading. 

Up spiral staircase after spiral staircase you followed him. The pit in your stomach growing with each step upwards toward the divination tower. You waited in the shadows as you watched Seonghwa kiss a pretty Gryffindor girl. Looking closer, it looked like Jungkook’s ex, which could be how he knew. 

You felt tears prick your eyes, as Seonghwa pushed her into the room, their lips never breaking apart. 

“Hey,” a voice said softly from behind you. Jungkook’s voice. 

You regretted turning around. Jungkook’s familiar messy brown hair the last thing you could see clearly before the tears started to fall. You felt his arms wrap around you tightly. His melodic voice whispering comforts into your ear, desperately trying everything to get you to calm down. The warmth from his body and the beating of his heart helped calm you. Gently, you wrapped your arms around him too. Your bodies collapsing together. You closed your eyes as his hand found their way to your hair. Replicating the comforting motions he had watched Jimin do their entire friendship. 

You weren’t prepared for the kiss that you felt on your head, and, judging by the way Jungkook had frozen, he wasn’t prepared either. You pushed away from him. More in shock, than anything else. 

“I-I,” you started, jumping further apart from him as you heard the door open behind you, “I should go.”

You had never sprinted to the common room faster. Your feelings about the night more tangled than headphones at the bottom of an unused bag. 

[leatherbookmarking]

fuck that ! im gonna talk about them deadboyz!! shame is for the WEAK

overall:

belong to a much less known subsidiary company of jinhit no jgs isn’t worth the joke entertainment. if they were in any other company they would be super rookies but jgs is keeping them in the basement and it’s not even his own basement

initially i think there were some high stakes in it for jgy...? something like ‘you produce the songs and make their chores and if you flop you’ll never be on stage again’ but?? i don’t know now tbh

would have been really popular (they are Good) but less known company, etc, and also some rumors around the time of their debut made it so they’re only knows because ‘they’re kinda good at dancing aren’t they’

general concept is uh... cool dudes, kinda fucky but not too much...? gotta think about the baby (a-yu)

THE MEMBERS: meng yao (leader, main dancer, vocalist), wen chao (oldest, main rapper), su she (main vocal, dancer), xue yang (rapper, dancer, unofficially: moodmaker, if by ‘mood’ you understand ‘horror at whatever has just come out of his hellish mouth), wen ning (dancer, vocalist, sometimes rapper), mo xuanyu (vocalist, the Baby™)

MENG YAO:

leader, single-handedly responsible for making these rowdy boys (wc&xy) stop wanting to kill each other

has probably auditioned for every single company there is. was in the nie company for a bit, but it was still a mess freshly after the previous owner, nmj’s father, has died, nmj has struggled (being a producer, not a businessman) so when it turned out they’d have to let some trainees go, the other trainees made it so meng yao was the one to leave. then he temporarily was at wrh’s company where he got kind-of-semi-famous as one of wen qing’s main back dancers (the one she’s interacted with the most) during her last performance. then the company went kaputt and jgs has snatched him off for himself, and then... put him... in the basement.... for two years... after which he gave him a chance, and voila

insanely hard-working. an all-rounder. mainly he excels at dancing, but his vocal and rap skills also Fuck. persona? impeccable. he’s learning to write and compose his own songs and he’s doing well, but he can’t even upload his stuff on soundcloud, because... you know why. has doubled as a manager in their early days. also, dimples.

the fans had tried to make a dad/mom dynamic with him and uh... wen chao...? since they were the oldest and pretty much the opposites, but quickly gave up and he’s now simply known as yao-ge due to his stern but loving persona. (yao-jie, sometimes)

DOES do the split. it was his rookie trick for a year after they debuted, but he simply is just like that. one show host asked him “is there definite proof that you have bones?“ and meng yao only shrugged humbly

WEN CHAO

oldest, has been a trainee for the longest time, hasn’t debuted because... well... he wasn’t good... and that was because he’s felt too safe in his dad’s company. WELL ABOUT THAT,

his older brother wen xu has debuted Long before him, but after a few years his group disbanded, he moved on to modeling and then stopped after a couple of years, too. (he got married.)

you know how i said their image is ‘cool, a bit fucky’? well, he’s 40% of that fuckiness. he’s been told again and again that idols aren’t supposed to date/have dating experience, but he still can’t get the hang of it

yes, he and jiaojiao were an item back in the wen days. she’s a trainee at some other company now but they still hook up sometimes

initially was intent on maintaining a cool, calm and collected image... then he met xue yang and threw that idea outta the window. paradoxically, they’re interesting together, not only as rappers but also as... high-energy, chaotic energy makers of the group...

this is a happy au, so: initially he’s thought everything is bullshit, these talentless fucks are dumb and he should already be a top idol. by the time of their debut, he agrees that meng yao is one crafty motherfucker. a year after their debut, if anything happened to any of his boys, yes even xue yang, he would kill everyone in the room, etc, etc BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.

SU SHE

unfortunately, was added before their first comeback (second release) and therefore controversial. fortunately, his vocal completes the group’s image and musical flavour

was a trainee in yinshen ent where he really admired their top idol, lan wangji, until... he got to know him (?) when they were sent to compete in a survival show and decided lan wangji ain’t shit and is, in fact, a stuck-up self-centered bitch. the survival show crashed (unrelatedly), but still some serious words were exchanged. during Some Company Problems, quite a lot of trainees have left, but he was the one who left with a Bang.

joined that one subsidiary of jin ent because of meng yao, who, just like in canon, recognized him, said he loved him in (song he’s performed in the survival show) and with this he cemented his position as su she’s new Boy Who Makes Him Go !!!!.

slowly replaced meng yao as The Man Who Does This Face at the other lads’ rowdy behaviour.

fans remember he was :/ at lan wangji, so his persona wouldn’t work anyway, but he does make quite a convincing kind dude-next-door.

stubborn side of the fandom’s next candidate for the mom member, because... he’s ridiculously prepared and reliable. who carries hydrogen peroxide in their daily use backpack? this boy !

it used to be rubbing alcohol but i had too many reasons to apply it internally, he once says mournfully, and this is how xue yang discovers he has a sense of humor, sort of

unfortunately, has the juiciest ass in the group. unfortunately, because

XUE YANG

responsible for: being inappropriate. the other 60% of fuckiness, really enjoys getting into wen chao’s personal space (since wen chao is That straight dude) and just... doing whatever to make su she Scandalized.

but he’s so cute we’ll forgive him. at least until the next time he does a surprise butt grab

very agile! dance line along with meng yao and wen ning. apparently he was a stunt guy...? apparently the lived in the streets...? apparently he went to the same dance school as meng yao...? no one knows his past. no one has seen his kid photos. did he go by another name...? insert the what are birds gif but make it who is xue yang.

adds sound effects to real life. also in his raps, sometimes

started hugging and initiating physical contact with people to assert dominance to be annoying, but ended up actually liking it, even though the one he does it comfortably with is meng yao. just like... back hugs? resting his chin over a-yao’s shoulder? it’s neat. sometimes a-yao pats his hand or taps his nose absent-mindedly and it’s super neat. if he notices you noticing it, though, he will BITE

most popular member, but everyone likes him for different reasons and has a different uhhh headcanon about potentially dating him. bad boy xue yang/cute bratty didi xue yang/sweet boyfriend xue yang, etc, etc

no one knows how, but apparently he knows the iconic duo from a small company, xiao xingchen and song lan...? or rather, song lan pretends not to know or notice him, meanwhile xiao xingchen is very cute when they’re interacting, and basically it prompts a lot of dating rumors, especially since they’ve been spotted having hotpot.

WEN NING

su she was the one to join last, but actually it’s wen ning who’s the least popular member. i’m just so quiet that people don’t notice me, haha, he says while being 180cm tall and having killer charisma when he dances

seriously, what’s up with that? it’s almost like he’s a different person, a possessed one to add to that. huh!

in contrast, his voice is very gentle and even cute, and he often sings quietly to himself. sometimes to other members (there’s a video of him singing what seems to be a lullaby to mxy), sometimes to little animals (there’s a video of him singing to a tiny frog he’s found during a walk). gentle boyfriend wen ning but it’s CANON

in contrast to the contrast, he doesn’t rap often, but when he does, it’s like... who’s that?? another member??? dualism king

when wc/xy cause problems on purpose, he doesn’t react/allows them to tease him/slap his ass/bump into him when they’re fighting. he seems like a calm, gentle guy so when they’re in a variety show and it’s Time For A Punishment, of course he gets to decide/wield the squeaky hammer, WHEREUPON ‘yang-ge, three weeks ago you ate my yoghurt even though i specifically asked you not to, so...’ (whacks xy’s ass into next tuesday)

nice, sculpted shoulders make for very good pillows

MO XUANYU

a Baby, but watch out: a horny one. fully on board with xue yang’s Inappropriate Ideas Of Entertainment. there’s a video of them doing some Rather Dirty dance moves while meng yao and su she make pained faces in the bg

fashion king. make-up king. none of his selfies are bare-faced, he always has some red eye shadow/blue eyelashes/yellow blush/black lipstick going on. sometimes even at the same time. paints his nails and toenails as well. somehow yao-gege doing his make-up makes him fall asleep one minute in. (cute)

his sincere smile is a 100% foolproof way to just... melt everyone’s hearts. in wen ning’s case: with a smile as well. meng yao and su she: an eyeroll (fond). xue yang and wen chao: ‘oh, fuck you’. but it DOES

most of the time though when he does sajiao it’s totally weird. (on purpose, on purpose)

tiny boy. skinny boy. once he turned to the side and vanished. even though most of the time in videos the other members sooner or later end up giving him food! (at some point wen chao says ‘it’s so that you’d shut up’, causing a-yu to start talking animatedly, spitting crumbs into his tea. serves him right)

has a potential to end up as a vocal god. currently however his favourite method of doing things with his voice is SCREAM

famously examines what things are by putting them in his mouth/licking them. he is a little creacher. he cannot change this

bites

[jeongjaehyuns]

Hii... Im sure by now you've heard of the situation :( You're one of my favorite Jaehyun blogs on tumblr and I was wondering what your thoughts on this situation, if ur comfortable that is! Please think of yourself too and take care! :)

hi, i’m doing okay… thank you so much for thinking of me! it really means a lot to me!

i know a lot of people are going to disagree with what i’m about to say and tbh i’m okay with that bc i don’t expect everyone to agree but i hope we can all be respectful to one another.

if i’m being honest… i don’t think jaehyun and the rest of them did anything wrong??? i think people upset at what happened need to understand that the situation in korea isn’t as bad as they’re making it seem compared to other countries. south korea was never on a proper lockdown and prior to the 4 of them going out, social distancing guidelines were actually eased and cases in korea were in single digits and most of the cases were from foreign travelers… not to mention businesses, subways, buses and streets are packed normally so people were able to go out freely…

i can understand people getting upset at the fact that he didn’t quarantine afterwards but i don’t think it should be this excessive… i think what’s most important is that he’s apologized and he’s reflecting on himself for his actions. 

i also think it’s worth mentioning that:

they all went out to the restaurant and the bars on the night of april 25th

the first confirmed patient that was in itaewon was may 1st

the patient was then confirmed to have covid may 5th

they all went out before the wave of the new cases and jaehyun (along with the other three) voluntarily tested for it and the results were negative and he’s safe and healthy. 

also, this is purely just based off of observation so do what you will with that but the timing of this article being released really doesn’t sit well with me lol... they went out almost a month ago so why did they wait all that time to release it now in the middle of ew’s comeback and literally a Day right before nct’s comeback??? not to mention, this article was also released around the same time as the nth room prosecution, an issue so much bigger than 4 idols going out but did that make the same headlines??? no.

like i get it, i get that he’s a celebrity figure and there are things he shouldn’t be doing but i think people need to realize that they’re humans too and that the “perfect” image they’re so obsessed with will never be real... i don’t want to get deep but jaehyun has opened up about this before and mentioned how he’s felt so much pressure from trying to keep up with this so called perfect image and how he was finally starting to stray away from it because he himself understands that it’s just not possible... that image sm and everyone else has tried to force on him for all this time just isn’t real and if people are truly so upset then are you really in love with jaehyun or are you in love with the artificial image? 

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

[syubub]

💼again :] the last ask was getting wayyy too long so this is pt.2.

I didn’t always have these dreams they only started sometime last year (after I started getting more in touch with myself). And even then I have no way of viewing them deliberately; they just come and go like a stranger in passing. Maybe the same could be said for yoongi? Or he’s even learned how to fine tune when he has them, or even call upon them at will, like “Oh I’m bored today, tell me something that’s going to happen in three months.” Or even “give me an idea of who I should collab with next.” Seeing as he has access to his own akashic records this wouldn’t be a stretch hmmm? Or who knows it could be. Everything I’m saying could have absolutely no grounds on his part, so thread lightly.

Btw if anyone wants to know the dreams I woke up from that prompted me to rush over to Rae’s ask in frenzy it involved me missing a life-changing meeting by 30 minutes because I didn’t set my alarm (go figure). And the second one was that (one of the members)??? posted a video conversation on Twitter of how yoongi made telepathy and thinks it’s really good, and it was literally deleted 2 seconds later. However, one of the translator fan pages already got to it, and he sounded like he was complaining in pout and talking so cutely, they even used this 🥺 emoji. It was basically him talking to the members in the car, but we couldn’t see his face??? Or any of their faces for that matter. It was almost like the video was recorded.....secretly. Still for some reason it felt like Yoongi was the one who posted the video himself...even stranger was that he was actually complaining about why they didn’t want to add the song to the album (BE) because he insisted it was really good.

I don’t know anymore and I’m just getting further off topic, but it’s almost like yoongi has a sense of work dysmorphia (I just made that up so please don’t come for my neck). All I’m saying is that he has a tendency to understate or downplay his efforts. In the BE comeback interviews he called himself “lazy,” even when he’d written 4 songs for the album (side note: I just know yoongi has a treasure trove of unreleased music) and then In the SOOP, the convo he had with Jin, he “acts like he works hard...and that he was being greedy, and it left him full of regrets.” Which isn’t even the case, because Jin himself did his best to assure yoongi that he does in fact work hard. Even if you have visions, they don’t come to pass on their own. You still have to put in the work to get things done. Which yoongi does.

Okay that’s it for today. Please let me know if these ridiculously long asks get annoying. My brain runs a mile a minute so it never knows when to put a stop to things.

This is really fascinating. First off, I really do think that yoongi has some knowing of the future and I think it might not necessarily be something that he controls 100%? Like he gets snapshots and bits and pieces and its up to him to figure out what the fuck to do with it? Him also being a Pisces? Him knowing about his Akashic book? He must see some premonitions or have very strong intuition!!

I think you've explained really well and it really does sound like it's possible that this is what's going on with him! I wish I was more involved in dreams and messages through my dreams but unfortunately I only remember maybe half of a dream every month or so. Its a long story tbh (I'm working on it. I feel like I've missed a lot of important visual cues bc of that)

I think it would be helpful to see if I could get a reading on yoongis spiritual shit? Like what he sees, how he sees, is it him manifesting something and he waits for the dream to come along so he can take action? I have so many questions but I don’t know if I'd really get many answers.

💼 anon thank you so much for sharing this! I think you've brought up a very important thing that I haven't thought about or entertained in depth at this level before. I think its one of those things where an "obvious" answer is too close so you miss it. Like sunglasses on your head. We've been speculating how and why but I think there's a lot of signs that would point to this being at least one of the ways he knows so much!

I LOVE LONG ASKS!

[okayoonoh]

best part (1): lee taeyong

“you don’t know babe, when you hold me and kiss me slowly, it’s the sweetest thing.”

---

- PAIRING: lee taeyong x reader - GENRE: ANGST ANGST ANGST, a little tiny tiny smut in there but it barely counts tbh - RATING: it’s a good M for mature. - WORD COUNT: 4,514 - WARNINGS: it’s sad and there’s a little smut in here. it’s not super explicit tho.

a/n: this honestly makes me sad, but i need to learn to write angst and simply doing it is one of the best ways. i hope you guys like it :,)

---

---

Knock, knock, knock

“Y/N please, let me in.”

Your heart aches at every knock. Every fiber of your being is telling you to keep that door shut, to keep him out and forget about him forever. It’s easier this way, for his career and your’s. Everyone knows that nothing about this is okay, you know it and he does as well.

And yet, why do you find yourself standing up and walking towards the door?

You take slow steps walking towards your front door. You hear his knocking becoming even more desperate, almost as if he thought that the louder he knocked, the quicker you would open your door. 

“Y/N please… just let me in. I just want to talk to you...”

Your hand comes in contact with the doorknob, tears still spilling out of your eyes. You keep telling yourself not to open that goddamn door, over and over like a mantra in your head.

And yet, you find yourself turning the doorknob and looking into those wide tear-stained eyes you told yourself you’d never see again. The second the door opened wide enough for him to enter, he wrapped his arms around you, holding the back of your head, pressing your sobbing form against his body. You grasped onto the grey sweater he was wearing, sobbing. You want to break away from him. You want to live far away so you’ll never have to see him anymore. You want to push him away. You want to live a life without him. 

It’s crazy, really. 2 months ago, your mindset about him was complete the complete opposite. 2 months ago, you thought you’d never push him away. 2 months ago you were his best friend, the one friend that stuck with him when he became an idol. You told him everything and he to you. Any little issue and accomplishment, he told you. Any little exam you passed and depressing mood you’ve been in, you’ve confided in him. You never thought you would ever want to let him go, he was your lifeline, the one and only thing you’ve ever wanted to hold onto for the rest of your life. He was your best friend, your ride or die. He made you feel so safe and accepted every when you were at your worst. So, why are you sitting here, the most confused you’ve been your entire life, about him? Someone you used to be so sure, so confident that you would never, ever, have to worry about him of all people. Why him?

---

4 months ago

---

“Y/N! Open your door! I have news!” 

You move your laptop to the side as you walk towards your door, rolling your eyes. You know that voice like the back of your hand. You twist the door handle and pull, greeted by the excited expression of your best friend.

“Hyunzie? Why are you here at 10:00 at night? I thought you were at Sicheng’s place?” you quip.

She rolls her eyes, already walking inside of your apartment, “Wow, I love you too. But I was at Sicheng’s place but this news is way too important for me not to tell you now!” 

She stalks over to your kitchen, making herself and you a cup of tea. 

“Okay, Hyunzie, if it’s this important, why are you making me tea?” You ask while accepting the mug she hands you. 

“Because I would like to ‘spill the tea’” Her eyes light up, waiting for your response. 

You give her a true, mint condition, authentic, fake laugh, “Ha ha. Seriously, Hyunzie. I was finalizing some reports while watching the last episode of ‘The Amazing Irish Cooking Show’. What is so urgent that you had to cut me off from Moira taking home the gold?”

“Okay, first of all, Moira doesn’t even win, second of all, why are you so sassy today?” 

“Hyunzie.”

“Fine Mr. Grumpy Pants I’ll tell you. So, I’m just going to tell you the most important thing now since I don’t think you want the build up. We’re moving to Seoul.”

“Hyunzie, stop messing around, just tell me the news and go home, it’s getting late.”

“No, Y/N, I’m being 100% serious. You remember how Sicheng and Taeyong sent in your song to SM? They’re offering us a job!”

You look your best friend directly in her eyes. You know when she’s lying, but none of those signs are being shown right now.

You stutter, “We-- We’re leaving? You’re not kidding me, right? And-- and us? Did they--”

She purses her lips and nods, “Yes! Sicheng sent in my artwork as well, they want me to work for them for their next comeback! We’re moving to Seoul!”

You open your arms, enveloping Hyunzie in the biggest hug. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes. You did it. You’re finally getting a chance to be heard. You can finally put an end to your mindless desk job and do the thing you’ve dreamed of doing ever since, well, ever. 

You separate from the hug and press your hand to your burning cheeks, trying not to freak out too badly. “So, when do we leave?”

Hyunzie doesn’t miss a beat, “As soon as possible. Sicheng has already laid out a place for us to stay until we find a place. I’m ready to go whenever you are. I know it’ll take a while for you to actually quit your job and stuff, but I’ll help you pack and everything! We’re in this together Y/N.”

You nod and grab your laptop from where you set it down. “I’ll send in the 2 weeks now.” Hyunzie nods back, grabbing the remote and pressing play, putting your favorite show back on. 

A couple hours past and Hyunzie fell asleep on the side of your couch when you added the final touch to your reports and your two weeks notice. You yawn, looking towards your best friend. Your heart fills with so much love knowing that she is sticking with you throughout this entire event. Ever since her secret relationship with Sicheng started, she’s been nothing but the best version of herself. No, Sicheng is not the man who “magically” changed her, he knows that, but he also knows that Hyunzie doesn’t need him. Hyunzie and Sicheng compliment each other so well, not one personality being overshined by the other. The sneaking around between the two is something that most couples would hate, but due to the secretive and private nature of the both of them, they find it thrilling to flirt in the shadows and act as complete “strangers”.  

If Hyunzie never took the chance to talk to the cute regular who showed up in the cafe where she worked, you would have never had the chance to even send in your music to SM. Sure, Taeyong could have given you the inside scoop, but you never wanted to seem like you were using Taeyong. Sicheng was willing to stop by and he felt the same about you and your music. He agrees that your music should be shared and with the help of Taeyong, your music now has a greater chance than ever before. 

Ring ring ring

Your ears perk as you look at the caller ID. Speak of the devil.

“Y/N, it’s me! Did Hyunzie tell you the news? I’m so sorry, I finally got a free chance to talk to you, I’m actually in the States right now with the rest of the member--”

“Hey Taeyong-ie, and yes, Hyunzie is actually sleeping on my couch at this very moment. She told be the information like an hour ago? Look, I can’t thank you enoug--”

“Nonsense, I’ve always known your music should be shared. I just didn’t know what time would be best and apparently Sicheng just sent it in today, and I wasn’t even there to see everyone’s reactions!”

You giggle, “Don’t worry about it, Youngie. I’m still in shock with everything right now.” 

“I know, it’s a crazy feeling isn’t it? I can’t even remember what went through my mind when I passed my audition.”

“I honestly am not sure with anything I’m feeling, but I have one thing for certain.”

“Hm?”

“I can’t wait to work with you on the daily. It’ll be just like when we were kids.”

You can practically hear his smile through the phone, your heart flutters at the thought. 

“I know Y/N! It’ll be just like old times! I can’t wait for you to meet the rest of the members, I just hope Johnny and Jaehyun can turn down the flirtiness when you get here. We have no room for any relationships, except for the godly couple of Hyunzie and Sicheng, they are the exception.”

“Amen. Well, I just finished my two weeks. I’m going to send it in tomorrow and begin packing as soon as I can.”

“I’m glad! You can do so much better than that mindless job, Y/N. I always knew you could… You’ve always been so -- What? What do you mean Xuxi broke the entire light structure? -- I’m so sorry Y/N, I have to take care of this. Look, text me if you need anything, I’m down to help you with whatever you need. We leave the States in three days, so I’ll be home to help you by then. I’ll see you when I get home!”

“It’s okay, Youngie, you have your leader duties to attend to. Tell Lucas to be careful and take it easy on yourself, okay? I’ll see you soon, thank you for everything.”

“Thank you too, bye bye!”

The call ends and you hold your phone close to your chest. Even just the sound of Taeyong’s voice makes you happy beyond belief. Imagining spending everyday with him fills you with so much elation, it’s hard to hold back. Taeyong and you grew up together, best friends before you even met Hyunzie. Together, you and him could conquer the world. Your parents would say that, even his sister. You both were notorious for talking the ears off of anyone and everyone and even conducting elaborate pranks you pulled on his sister and even your family members. When he joined SM, he had to move away to Seoul while you stayed in your hometown. He knew that he didn’t want to lose contact with you, and did all he could to make sure you would never lose this close bond the two of you have. There are underlying feelings between you two, you just can’t quite pinpoint it. Or your mind simply won’t let you knowing about all of that negative backlash that you would receive. 

A loud snore shakes you from your thoughts as your eyes shoot towards Hyunzie’s sleeping form. You giggle lightly, grabbing the blanket that drapes off of the side of the bed and lay it on your best friend. You turn off the lamp then head off to your room, getting ready to start this new era of your life. 

---

2 weeks (and, like, 2 days) later

---

Surprisingly, with the help of your movers and all of the free members of NCT, you were able to move and unpack almost instantly. Hyunzie and you basically sold all of your old furniture to buy new ones, so the only things you both had to worry about was your clothes and such. The new apartment is filled with loud music and laughs all throughout as the members all work hard to help you build all of your new furniture from the iconic Ikea. Hyunzie and Sicheng occupy themselves with the coffee table, flirting and lightly arguing more than building the actual surface. You, Johnny, and Taeyong busy yourselves in the kitchen, sorting out all of the dishes and pans, Johnny’s main goal is carefully placing all of your important bowls and dishes in the high shelf. 

“Again, thank you so much for all of your help,” You say, handing Johnny a decorative bowl your mother gave you as a gift when you moved to your own place for the first time.

“It’s no problem! We’re in between comebacks right now, so all we really do is wait for the Dreamies to post ASMR videos or my JCC stuff, but sometimes taking a break and doing things like this is better than filming everything 24/7 y’know? It’s almost therapeutic.” Johnny says cheerfully, giving you a gentle smile. 

“So Y/N,” Johnny begins, lifting the next box and moving to the next set of cabinets, “How did you and Taeyong meet? I know you guys grew up together, but like what’s the history?”

You smile, looking at the boy in the living room who is currently settling the argument between Sicheng and his girlfriend. 

“Well, historically, we’ve just been close friends,”

“No, no. Like, romantically. I’ve seen the way Taeyong lights up when he talks about you. There’s no way there’s no history between the two of you.”

You hesitate when you hand him the next plate. He is right, it’s not like there wasn’t anything going between the two of you, there definitely was something, “Well… if I’m being completely honest, there was. But it all ended when he left.”

Johnny nods, “I see, I see. Well, never say never! You’re back now, so anything could happen. And I mean, if it doesn’t work with him.... I know this tall, Chicago man that is available…” 

He smirks at you suggestively. You pull the towel that rests on his neck then hit his side.

“Hey hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game.” He laughs. You roll your eyes as you grab the empty box and put it in the pile of empty boxes. 

The rest of the afternoon goes rather smoothly as everyone finishes up with your’s and Hyunzie’s apartment. You and Taeyong sit on the couch while Hyunzie and Sicheng sit on the ground, leaning against the coffee table they assembled together. Hyunzie leans her head on Sichengs shoulder, dozing off. A movie plays in the background while you and Taeyong talk softly.

You stretch while Taeyong grabs your attention.

“Y/N, I just wanted to let you know that I’m so happy you’re here now.”

You smile at you him, “I am, too. I finally feel like I’m doing something worth my time, you know?”

He nods at you, “I know what you mean. Look, I also want to apologize for not being there for you--”

“--Tae, I’m going to stop you right there. I completely understand, I wouldn’t still be your best friend if I didn’t understand. I love you, more than you could ever know, Tae. You never have to apologize to me for anything.”

He gives you a somber smile, then gently places his hand over yours, “Thank you for being you. I love you, too.”

Your heart clenches, hearing him say those words truly fills you with joy. You know that he said it platonically, but you for sure didn’t. You honestly don’t mind it being a one-sided love. It’s better this way for everyone. Well, everyone except for you. But you were at peace with it. You know that Taeyong simply can’t be with you; the repercussions are too extreme. But right now, he isn’t Taeyong, the leader of NCT. He’s Lee Taeyong, your childhood best friend and the man you’re completely and utterly in love with.

---

2 months later

---

Your life as a songwriter has been amazing for its first month. Your song was recorded with all of the boys singing it wonderfully; the head producer said the songs you wrote were some of NCT’s best. 

You sit in a studio, laying some tracks over each other when you hear a knock at the door. The clear glass door shows the handsome features of Taeyong and you smile at him, stepping out of your chair to let him in.

He lifts up a plastic bag filled, two boxes of sushi inside. Your eyes light up as you walk with him to the couch inside of the studio.

“I got you your favorite,” he smiles while taking out a box for you.

“You know me so well,”

“Of course I do! I also know that you’re not going to be able to break these chopsticks evenly.”

Snap. Right as he says that, you broke your chopsticks, unevenly at the top. You stick your tongue out at him, giving him some sass.

“Okay you, you’re right but you didn’t have to be.”

He laughs, “I’m sorry. I just can’t resist. Anyway, how is the song-writing going? Are you giving Renjun any insane lines?”

You shake your head, “I’m actually just working on the beat for the rap track right now. Jaemin and Jeno have really increased their rap game from what I can remember. They can deal with something super complex.”

Taeyong nods, “Who would you say is your favorite rapper right now?”

“Between Jaemin and Jeno?”

“No, just in general.”

“NCT in general? Or in general, general?”

“In general, general! Y/N, stop bouncing around the question,” he whines slightly. You snicker. You know he’s trying to get you to say his name, but you won’t give him that satisfaction.

“Well, my favorite rapper right now has to be the rap god of NCT.”

“See! Was that so--”

“Yes, Mark Freaking Lee. Baby Lion really knows whats up.”

“O-Oh…” Taeyong suddenly finds his sushi really interesting as his gaze isn’t on you anymore.

You punch his arm, “Stop pouting dummy, of course I’m kidding. You’re my favorite rapper by default.”

His expression lights up, “Hehe, thank you.”

You both finish up the meal, happy and full. A chime goes off on your phone and you check it, your stomach drops. Even though it’s only your second month working for SM, other companies have noticed your work and they want you to work for them. SM gives you a pretty paycheck, but these other companies want to give you more. After they saw your work with NCT’s comeback, they want to see what else you can do. Other companies are offering you more money for your songs and you genuinely don’t know what to do.

“Tae, I have to tell you something.”

He knows that tone. He knows that you want to talk to him about something serious. “Let’s go for a walk.” 

---

You walk outside, your breath coming out as puffs of clouds because of the cold air. Taeyong walks beside you, walking perfectly at your side.

You hide your head in your scarf, attempting to warm your cheeks, as you sigh.

“Yongie, JYP is offering me a job. They’re willing to pay me almost double what SM is paying me right now.”

Taeyong stops walking as you do too.  “Y/N! That’s amazing!”

You sigh, “That’s the thing. I want to take it, but I love working for SM and more importantly, I love working with you.”

Taeyong sighs and places his hands on your shoulder, causing you to look up at him, “Look, distance has never been an issue with us. Whatever choice you make, you’ll make the right one. I’ll be by your side no matter what happens.”

“Yeah bu--”

“No! No buts. No matter what happens, we’ll be okay Y/N, I promise.”

You look up at him. You take in his beautiful face, something you’re so glad you can see it up close. You look at his big doe eyes, his angled nose and jawline that seem like they were sculpted by the gods themselves. You pay close attention to his lips that are formed in a slight pout. You never realized how soft his lips looked before. You question how they might feel against--

Woah. Where did that come from? 

You sniff as the lump in your throat isn’t so tight anymore. You look back up to his eyes and nod. You know you’ll be happy with whatever you choose because you have him. He gives you a light hearted smile then he reaches for your cold hand, holding it in his warm ones. Your heart flutters, but you don’t question him. This is exactly the amount of comfort you need right now. 

You guys continue your walk, hand in hand, his warmth reassuring you that everything will be okay.

Click. Click. Click.

---

3 months later

---

This all leads you  here. That night, you were being reckless and you or Taeyong didn’t think about the repercussions. Taeyong walked you home that night and you woke up to your social media and your email and your texts all full beyond belief.

New SM employee already cozies up to NCT’S Leader, Lee Taeyong

“Who is this girl? She’s a nobody.”

“It finally makes sense how she got into SM! It’s all Taeyong’s doing!”

“I can’t believe someone is taking our Taeyong away from us! She’s not nearly good enough for him!”

“What does Taeyong see in a girl like her??? She’s not even pretty.”

You read all those comments and immediately shut down. You didn’t realize what had happened that night until you read who the source was from. Dispatch saw you and Taeyong that night and ran with the story. Your whole career and Taeyong’s career was ruined. Hyunzie ran into your room that morning, throwing your phone away from you. You cried. Because that one night, you were so reckless, you ruined your best friends career. You packed a bag then headed back to your hometown, you needed to be away from there for a while.

From that moment, you cut off all ties you had with Taeyong, not even talking to him after that event. You were only thinking for him. It’s better for everyone this way. You took the job with JYP and you have been working there ever since. 

You moved back in with Hyunzie after everything died down a bit. She promised you that she wouldn’t let Taeyong in when he came, but it seemed that he didn’t want to see you either. He didn’t visit you after he learned you moved away. He was away on tour when you came back, so you knew you didn’t have to avoid him.

Except for now.

He just returned from tour and it brings you back here, he’s knocking at your door. God, of all the times Hyunzie chose to be with Sicheng, it had to be now. You’re weak, you open the door and he lets himself in as he hugs you. Your tears spilling into his shirt. 

He holds you tight and he holds you close, seeming scared that you would float away from him if he let go. He holds the back of your head into his chest as he leans into your neck, crying himself.

“Y/N, why?” he sobs quietly. “What happened?”

You don’t answer. You quietly cry into his shirt. You don’t know why. You thought it would be best for everyone this way, but now, in his arms, you realize it wasn’t.

He breaks away from the hug and holds your face in his hands, his tear stained eyes staring into yours. You don’t think it’s possible for your heart to break anymore than it already has, but it does when you see his glossy eyes. He wipes the tears that spill from your eyes as he places his forehead against yours. 

He whispers so softly, “Please, don’t leave me.”

Again, you don’t respond. You gently brush your lips against his and he returns your kiss. He kisses you slowly, your heart clenches. This moment is the sweetest you’ve ever had, but it’s equally the saddest. You’re finally doing the thing you’ve wanted to do for the longest time, but why does it hurt?

You break away from the kiss as he keeps his forehead on yours. You close your eyes, trying to savor the moment. You feel safe, you feel protected, you feel love. 

You know none of this can’t last.

Those happy emotions you feel make everything so much worse. You know that he can’t stay. You know that it can’t be like this. You know that your heart will just break in the end.

He kisses you again, this time with more passion. It hurts, but you can’t stop.

“Y/N please, I’m sorry.”

“Prove it to me, then. Don’t stop kissing me.”

He doesn’t. He holds you so close because it’s almost as if he knows the second that he lets go, you let go too.

Your back hits your mattress, his lips still on yours. Clothes are shed, tears still fall. Your bodies mold as one as he proves to you, again and again, the extent of his love. You cry even more. You love him so much, but that’s why you can’t be with him. 

When he holds you, when he kisses you, it’s the sweetest thing. That’s why it hurts the most.

The life of an idol isn’t one for you and you know that. It fits Taeyong well, which is why this is your last night with him. You love him so much, that’s why you can’t keep him. He was never your’s to keep.

You look over at his sleeping form, his bottom half covered by your covers. You lean over and kiss his head one more time before you stand up. You quietly pack up your bag then head out the door. JYP has a branch in Japan that they want you to head and you were on the fence about it. 

Seeing Taeyong one more time helped you make up your mind. You leave a note for Hyunzie and send her a text. You found a last minute flight to Tokyo, you bought the last ticket, and you’re on your way.

You love Lee Taeyong too much to stay with him. Staying with him will only taint his image.

When he held you, when he kissed you, it was the sweetest thing. 

But it’ll just have to live on in that memory.

---

i hate writing angst for this exact reason....

this is my first official angsty piece tho! i hope you guys liked it :)

it’s been a while but my writer’s block is finally gone! i’ll continue on with more fluffy pieces for this series :)))

anyway, this part may have a part 2? we’ll see the vibes of the lyrics

- amy <3

[chaeryybomb]

FEBRUARY GG COMEBACK REVIEW

because there were so many girl group comebacks, I’m gonna do a review about them!

possibly might do this every month idk

I’ll review them on title song, album songs ( if they had an album comeback ), stage presence, outfits, music video, choreography and overall. ( I’m not gonna rate them by numbers )

GFRIEND: 回: LABYRINTH

TITLE SONG: Crossroads

personally, it took me a few listens before finally liking it. but it didn’t take that long before it hooked me on. it reminds me a lot of an anime opening. my favorite part is when the music stops and yuju sings the chorus, when i first heard that on their comeback stage, it gave me chills

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video was!! amazing!! i love how it gave a movie type of feeling. i’m still new to gfriend so... but overall, the music video is really nice and it made me feel things

CHOREOGRAPHY

gfriend is also known for their choreography, and they never disappoint. i really like the choreography and how it would sometimes split to a few members on the stage then all members.

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

i really really like the presence umji gave out during this era, something about her kept drawing my attention towards her every time I watched their stage.

i also really like their outfits this era, it’s so classy. i personally like yuju in long pants/pantsuits type of outfits. also, yerin’s highlights + beret is to die for.

ALBUM SONGS

the b-sides could all be title track worthy tbh. they’re vocals are all amazing.

my personal favorites are dreamcatche, from me and labyrinth

on a side note, I really like labyrinth’s choreography

OVERALL

overall, this comeback made me stan gfriend lmao, I really like their style of music. they also have a storyline which I’m trying to keep up?? what caught my eye during this comeback was definitely umji and eunha’s pink hair + high note in labyrinth.

EVERGLOW: Reminisce

TITLE SONG: DUN DUN

yiren’s “you’re so dun dun dun dun dun” part got me hooked immediately lmao, it’s just really catchy

i love love love love aisha and e:u raps, like yes rappers come through. aisha’s deep voice can k i l l

sihyeon’s beginning was definitely catchy. and I love the bridge part between her and onda

my only complain is that I wished onda could’ve gotten more lines ;-;

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video was really aesthetically pleasing, my favorite part was aisha’s part like damn girl. though I didn’t really like that face gem thing they had on yiren-

CHOREOGRAPHY

the choreography?? is just?? amazing?? i really like mia’s part of the choreography, the dance break and verses are 👌🏻

i also like the part where sihyeon sings after the dun dun, if that makes sense..

oh and I like the second chorus dance

and center onda is powerful

also I like the beginning where yiren would stomps her feet and says “everglow”

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

mia’s stage presence never disappoints, as usual. her face expressions are usually on point. but this era drew me towards e:u as well, her stage presence this era was definitely something

i love love love the black outfits ( the same ones they had in the beginning of the mv )

i also love how they gave onda outfits that stood out more, like for example the white outfits, onda was all in silver; or the red outfits where everyone wore red and black while onda was in a more different pattern

i didn’t mind that they re-used the outfits but in different colour, I thought it was way better than adios era where everyone wore the same outfits, at least this era the designs for everyone were different

ALBUM SONGS

my personal favorite is definitely “no lie”, I just wished they would promote it more than “salute”. but I felt blessed that they actually performed “no lie”, and the choreography was amazing.

yet onda and yiren really suited the “salute” concept

i personally think that the line distribution is lazy, for example “no lie” and “player”, mia is singing the chorus over and over again. it’s like the producer made her record the chorus part then just used it for the entire song and not ask a different member to record the 2nd chorus.

OVERALL

overall, I really like this comeback. my only complain is that I wish the line distribution was fairer. it’s unfair to all members, including mia. I hope that she isn’t feeling overworked because of having to sing so many lines while doing the dance break as well.

LOONA: #

TITLE SONG: So What

I really like this concept on LOONA!!! i know it might seem like what other groups are doing, but this type of concept really suits them

rapper heejin!!

chuu and jinsoul’s high note tho. but I could tell during the stages where chuu was struggling to hit the high note, I hope she’s not to hard on herself

my favorite part of the song is hyunjin’s tic tac toe part, yves’s shock shock and choerry’s part in the bridge

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video is just

UGH

aMAZING

I love vivi’s part with the spray can and kim lip’s part with the red outfit

the part in the subway too!!

CHOREOGRAPHY

when I first saw the choreography, I was s h o o k. seriously, they were all in sync, it’s amazing! I literally have no words on how to explain how much I love the choreography

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

let me just tell you, yves’s stage presence this era, can literally kill someone. literally. she slayed this era with that slick back hairstyle and piercing eyes.

literally loona’s stylist deserves a goddamn R A I S E.

almost every stage was a different outfit, for 12 members!! I can’t pick a favorite outfit because all of them were amazing!!

ALBUM SONGS

for the first time, I actually like the title song so much than the other album songs

but that doesn’t mean they’re great. but if I had to choose a b-side, it’ll probably be “ding ding dong”

OVERALL

overall, this comeback was definitely not disappointing and surprising. it was also definitely first win worthy. my only complain is, you guessed it, vivi’s lines. she had a total of 3 seconds! come on BBC! also, I hope that haseul is doing fine.

IZ*ONE: Bloom*IZ

TITLE SONG: FIESTA

gAH I MISSED THEM SO MUCH!!

I never liked the produce series because they gave so many kids false hope, but they groups they debuted were indeed talented and they don’t deserve all the backlash because mnet’s a snake.

but yes fiesta slaps. i’m so happy that sakura and minju are getting the lines they deserved. I really like eunbi part at the end and yuri’s bridge.

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video was definitely aesthetically pleasing to watch, especially eunbi’s angel scenes and chaeyeon’s solo scenes.

CHOREOGRAPHY

okay personally, i felt that the choreography was a bit plain for a 12 member group. i felt that “la vi en rose” and “violeta” had more diverse choreography than fiesta

but other than that, the choreography is nice and I like wonyoung’s part with the fingers and yena and eunbi’s pre-chorus parts

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

i hope the girls can perform on other stage platforms ;-;

chaewon has got my eye this era, maybe it’s because of her short hair but her presence is definitely there on stage

eunbi and chaeyeon’s stage presence never disappoints as usual

as for the outfits, I love how bright and colourful the outfits are, my personal favorite the pastel suits one

ALBUM SONGS

it’s my first time listening to an iz*one album. when I first listened to the album highlight medley, i thought i wouldn’t like it but boy was i wrong

first of all, i love how they all had sub-units so everyone had their chance to shine in the album

my personal favorites are “ayayaya”, “pink blusher” and “eyes”

OVERALL

overall, the comeback was great. i just wished that hyewon would’ve gotten more lines but I can definitely tell that all of them has improved tremendously. i hope that backlash won’t affect the girls and i hope that eunbi will get well soon.

DREAMCATCHER: Dystopia: The Tree Of Language

TITLE SONG: Scream

*inhales* I LOVE DREAMCATCHER

I immediately liked the song the moment I heard it. It reminded me of Stray Kids’s “Side Effects” due to to the heavy edm drop. I really like this type of style on them.

I love gahyeon’s and dami’s “devil, eyes, come” part and rap parts

MUSIC VIDEO

dreamcatcher’s music videos are always different, they always have an element of halloween in them and I love it

this era gives me a spooky witch vibe ( especially with “red sun” )

dreamcatcher’s music is definitely a breath of fresh air

CHOREOGRAPHY

I love love love love the “devil, eyes, come” part with the hand thingy

when they do this 🤘🏻

i really like it

I also like jiu’s parts and sua being the center will literally be the death of me

OH OH OH and gahyeon’s rap part with the masks!!

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

first of all, sua and yoohyeon’s stage presence is literally incredible

sua has definitely caught my eye during this era.

as for the outfits, dreamcatcher basically re-uses the outfits in different colours but I frankly don’t mind it so

i like their outfits when they perform “red sun”, it gives out spooky witchy vibes and I’m here for that

ALBUM SONGS

again, all of dreamcatcher’s songs can literally be a title track. i can’t choose a favorite

they’re all amazing and like I said, a breath of fresh air from other groups.

seriously, they’re really underrated

OVERALL

overall, i really like this comeback. and I love how they have a masked dancer in the place of handong ( who is currently filming for idol producer in China, I hope she’s doing fine with China’s current status ). I find the gesture really sweet. I also love siyeon’s solo, “paradise”. I hope she can perform it one day.

WEKI MEKI: DAZZLE DAZZLE

TITLE SONG: DAZZLE DAZZLE

the song is definitely catchy, especially the “dazzle dazzle dazzle me” part

i really like elly and suyeon’s part in the chorus

my favorite part is lua’s rap

MUSIC VIDEO

i think the music video was nice, i felt that smiley face cake was out of place

i wished that they kept the sparkly concept throughout the entire music video

CHOREOGRAPHY

the “dazzle dazzle me” part is honestly really fun to do lmao

i like the choreography for the chorus part

oh and yoojung and doyeon’s part tho-

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

elly has definitely owned this era

literally, she owns this era

and her bright blue hair help plays a part in it too

despite of having less lines, lua’s also radiates good stage presence

as for the outfits, i love the pastel colours that they’re going for

I really like elly’s blue hair, sei’s pink highlights, lucy’s blonde hair and rina’s short purple hair

OVERALL

overall, this comeback is really catchy, like it’s so easy for it to get stuck in your head. elly definitely slays this comeback, she’s literally shining. yoojung’s and lua’s rap parts are also a score. i just wished lua would’ve gotten a bit more lines.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

ROCKET PUNCH

I personally don’t really like “Bouncy” but the rest of their songs in their album is catchy. My favorite of the album is “Fireworks” and “Girl Friend”.

THE BOYZ

i literally stanned them during this era. like goddamn, sunwoo is wrecking me. i love sunwoo and eric’s rap parts. new’s vocals are out of this world, the boy is also tiny asf. also hyunjae’s blond hair?? juyeon has also caught my eye during this era.

BTS

okay ngl, i didn’t really like “black swan”, it’s not my cup of tea. “on” is definitely something. the part where they do the window wiping thing is weirdly satisfying to watch ( also someone pls edit jin’s window wiping laugh on it ). jungkook’s high note tho. also Jimin’s “oh na na” is really catchy. out from the album, my favorite is “we are bulletproof: the eternal” like damn, that made me sad.

ELRIS

so I don’t stan them but “jackpot” literally slaps. their rap line is literally so powerful?? especially the short hair girl ( Karin?? ) she raps and sings, damn that’s a double threat right there. the chorus really gets me ngl.

[yeosprout]

universe challenge day 8: favorite b-sides

 i have no edit for today’s universe challenge but i do have some #thoughts and i like writing about music so that is what i’m gonna do!!!!!!! these are in chronological order ^_^

1. lucky - i think this is just a cute song with some good vibez! i think it has its own quirky sound that stands out on the ceremony album and in pentagon’s discography. the synths that buoy the whole song help create that dreamy romantic nighttime landscape of the lyrics... the lyrics are so focking cute!!! (The sky is falling when it’s time to say goodbye / I’m shy but let’s meet again in our dreams / I know, you miss me too, I’ll hold onto you now) and the choreo is very cute as well i think this song is a hidden gem of wholesomeness

2. violet - kino’s BABY.. i think it’s so beautiful that he made this song with his favorite COLOR and his own musical color! i’m also a music-to-color synesthete so i feel like he was appealing to me personally. tbh i didn’t love this song at first because i felt like the production was too busy but it grew on me a lot and i appreciate it for what it is now... i’m a sucker for bittersweet songs and the melody of this song really lingers in my head after i’ve heard it. also i think the use of the members’ falsetto in this song was very nice and effective for conveying the heartbreak of the lyrics !! 

3. skateboard - this shit slaps! *ends review* sike i need to do this song justice. this song is so fun and i really like the instrumentals, esp the bass. it’s so dynamic and gives LIFE to the song. the deep ass 808 kicks in contrast to the high pitched whistling creates some spicy tension! this is a feel good song to me and the lyrics match that! the lyrics are kinda abstract they just wanna skate on a giant skateboard in the summer sky with their soulmates and friends... that’s literally all they want... sk8r boi found dead in a ditch! idk this song feels like a nice fever dream and i’m here for it

4. when it rains at night - if u were following me around this time last year you might have seen me scream about this already but Boy is this a delicious song. firstly i love emo ballads and they really catered to me... those strings coming in at the beginning fuckin GRASP my heart and then the way the energy picks up in the prechorus.. *breaks a sweat* and the chorus is just *chefs kiss* the vocals are so mf THICK and lush and layered there’s octave doubling and harmonies and shit. over those delicious minor chords and full instrumentation. goddam. AND YUTO’S RAP. fire. usually rap verses in ballads throw me off because they usually don’t have a place there but they get one because the rappers can’t do anything otherwise but the second verse fits really well in here IMO and yuto’s flow really. ugh. Uhg. the syncopation on “saenggahkae meolli” JHDGFKJGSF i lose my mind when i hear it... UGH AND THE BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!! THE BRIDGE!!!!!! THE WAY THEY CREATE TENSION W THE RISING CHORD PROGRESH AND ARPEGGIATED STRINGS/.. Um... and the way the song ends on such an ominous note.. *passes out* this song is a damn experience.

5. spring snow - also another song i didn’t like at first but after hearing it at my concert it made me feel really nostalgic to the point where it grew on me. but this song emits pure NOSTALGIA and cheesy teen movie sentiment... also i love songs that ask questions in the lyrics. it feels so raw and genuine and just.. laying ur heart out to someone. this song is just so cute and doesn’t try to be anything it isn’t

6. summer! - I may be biased here but. if pentagon has a whole song saying my name im gonna like it. Jk i actually do quite like this song i think it’s well made. it has a catchy melody and a pleasant, kinda minimalist instrumental. also the lyrics are really upbeat and carefree but the instrumental sounds a bit.. melancholic... wistful... almost like they know summer is fleeting and they have to enjoy while it’s there. but the lyrics don’t give any hint of that melancholy.. very interesting... she’z a fun song regardless

and these aren’t actual b sides but also aren’t official comeback title tracks so i will give them honorable mentions and they are: stay and happiness. both are 90s inspired songs from two completely different moods and i love them for that!!

[christinealtomare]

Cody Simpson as Dmitry

DISCLAIMER: I went into this audio knowing that Cody is not a Broadway performer, nor has he been professionally trained to act. I did not expect a replica of Derek Klena and tbh... I wasn’t disappointed. I enjoyed his Dmitry. There is potential here for sure, but if you don’t want to come out disappointed then I recommend keeping in mind that Cody wasn’t hired for his talent. He was hired to bring this show money and help them recoup. With that being said:

Omg I genuinely did not recognize Cody’s voice with that American accent!

He definitely sounds a little robotic throughout. He also sounds nervous during “A Rumour in St. Petersburg” but like he’s definitely trying and doesn’t sound unpleasant?

He seems to grow a lot more comfortable once John (and later Christy!) joins him onstage and his interactions with Vlad feel very natural!

He sounds very mischievous and boyish when describing the con to Vlad and like, it seems like he’s definitely playing Dmitry as younger? 

While I don’t love Dmitry being played as younger, I’m glad Cody is doing it. It seems like a smart decision on his part because he is visibly younger and I feel like it would have definitely sounded more forced if he had tried to play Dmitry’s age up and convince us that he’s almost thirty lol.

LMAO Cody’s Dmitry sounds so unimpressed with Marfa’s acting at first but he’s not mean about it?? Just more like “girl wtf /was/ that??”

He’s literally like "wtf is this vlad i asked for ACTRESSES. AN ANASTASIA. NOT GRANDMAMA, ITS ME ANASTASIA"

Also, Maria Briggs remains perfect as ever.

He’s so done by the end of the audition like literally rushes them out of there and not even trying to hide how unimpressed he is haha he says “Out!” twice but then it sounds like he’s about to say “Get—“ which I don’t believe I’ve heard another Dmitry do tbh?

Cody’s Dmitry overall just sounds so much more wistful throughout? Like he’s very much a dreamer who’s slowly becoming more cynical overtime with how much bs has been thrown his way. He’s also much softer and boyish overall.

His Dmitry also has a softer relationship with Vlad. Vlad feels more fatherly with him and their teasing is reminiscent of that. 

Especially in the scene where they’re talking about their past like they’re just softly teasing each other rather than joking.

Omg okay so when Anya comes in, there’s this really long pause before he finally says, “I’m Dmitry” and like I wonder…? if he did something acting-wise there because 1) the pause is not usually that big and 2) the audience laughs.

The father/son dynamic makes a comeback when Dmitry is like “this isn’t a soup kitchen, Vlad!” and honestly just seems like an exasperated child lol

Not a ton of chemistry with Anya by this point.

He honestly sounds more excited when asking Anya if she’s ready to become Anastasia rather than manipulative.

His “Learn to Do It” was honestly super interesting, a really good highlight, and one of the moments where his Dmitry really shines! 

Cody sounds very fond while singing “a palace by the sea,” as if he’s remembering the little girl he saw at the parade rather than trying to make Anya learn a fact. Even with “charming child’?? It honestly feels like a number where his Dmitry is thinking about 8 year old Anastasia throughout. He’s very present throughout this number, like even though they’re teaching Anya how to be “Anastasia”, he sounds like he’s remembering the real girl behind the facts.

“Like a sinking boat” feels like more of a teasing comment than a critique and it’s cute, ngl.

Also, there was a line flub! He accidentally said “pull yourself together and you’ll pull through it” instead of “something in you knows it” haha <3

When Vlad pulls them together to dance, he just starts like sputtering, “Wha-“

He sounds super impressed and mildly scared after Anya beats up the guys LMAO

When she asks if he wants to see what else she can do, he’s like, “Oh, no!”

“My Petersburg” was the weakest point singing-wise. That being said, it doesn’t sound any worse than expected? He sounds very boyish in it and it seems like he’s trying to have fun with it. That being said, I think the key-change is most jarring in this song because I’m so used to Derek’s belt-heavy version of it.

Also, I think the roboticness + nerves up until this point were because of this song. Because after this number, wow his portrayal smoothens out, he’s more comfortable onstage, his acting is better, and the chemistry with Christy finally comes out!

He genuinely sounds so fond and endearing when talking about Dmitry’s parents. I feel like he must have rehearsed that particular scene a lot, because it actually flowed really nicely! Very wistful.

The chemistry with Christy isn’t the smoothest, but it’s also not a non-existent abomination and I expect they’ll grow into it.

Again, Cody also seems a lot more comfortable post-My Petersburg and the acting, line delivery, and everything feels less robotic.

I think his Dmitry is the most-concerned sounding I’ve heard prior to “Once Upon a December”. He’s very worried about her when she becomes unresponsive.

They literally bicker over getting to Paris! Like he’s not yelling at her at all, they’re legitimately arguing like children and he sounds like he’s trying to calm her down the louder she gets lol

From this point onwards it’s very much a super endearing, best friends-type dynamic!

Omg he doesn’t yell at her at all when she reveals the diamond. He’s just super calm and when she’s like “yA i’ve had it all this time what are you going to do about it???” he’s literally just like. “ok wtf why?”

Before he picks her up to hug her he literally just goes “If you weren’t a girl, I’d— ugh.” AND SPINS HER

He sounds SO excited about the hotel and bathtub LMAO

Also CODY AND CHRISTY CAN HARMONIZE HOLY SHIT

They sound BEAUTIFUL together in “Stay, I Pray You.” Which he also sounds totally destroyed in btw. The whole song is a very good vocal moment for him.

Lol he sounds so exasperated with Vlad’s first class complaining haha

He sounds low-key scared after the gunshots but still tries to comfort Anya really softly :(

He definitely had a stronger portrayal by Act 2. Nerves must have worn off.

HE’S SO SOFT WITH HER DURING AND AFTER HER NIGHTMARE?

COT SOUNDS SO GOOD?

HE’S NOT TRYING TO OUTSING HER AT ALL THEY SOUND GOOD

ITS SO NICE HAVING A DIMYA THAT CAN HARMONIZE AGAIN HOLY SHIT

The Quartet was one of the weaker points but again, he harmonized nicely with everybody.

Omg you can tell he likes “Everything to Win” and he did a great job singing it! Probably his best song acting and singing-wise!

The confrontation with the Dowager Empress was underwhelming tbh, especially because Judy is such a stern Maria and Cody is such a soft Dmitry.

He’s such a melodramatic boi when he tells her to never wave or smile at her again gnfdkls;a

Overall, I felt as if Cody delivered a lot better than I was expecting. He doesn’t have the strongest portrayal but for an untrained actor?? That was good. He also doesn’t try to riff or anything during any of the songs -- he’s singing them properly, really trying, and has a decent grasp on what he wants to do with the character. I’m excited to hear an audio from later this month and others from later in his run because I expect he’ll grow into the role. He’s definitely no Derek but it also wasn’t the dumpster-fire everybody expected and I liked him.

[crookedndelicate]

#3 - longshot (songfic)

a/n: yes, already. van mccann works hard but i work harder. also, this isn’t really a van / you fic, and tbh i don’t even know what it is. it just kinda happened. 

word count: around 2k (in less than a day... my essays can’t relate)

They always said it wasn’t going to last.

Long distance rarely does, they said. Don’t get your hopes up, Van. You always do. Too hard, too fast, mate. Got the wedding already planned out in your head, you. Take it slow.

He wanted to argue that it wouldn’t be a first. Being a rockstar often meant you couldn’t have any other type of relationship – long distance often seemed to be the only option. It was the price his relationships often had to pay – being away from each other for months, relying on late night FaceTime and stolen moments. So why did he think it would be different this time around?

Perhaps it was because for once, Van McCann felt invincible. Post-The Balcony, Post-The Ride, post-big tours and headlining some of the world’s biggest festivals. For a brief moment there, he was on the top of the world. Or perhaps it’s because he was a romantic, wanting nothing more than to settle down and start a family. And when he fell in love, he truly, wholeheartedly believed that it would last forever, because that’s what romantics do.

Undoubtedly, Van McCann had the tendency to break his own heart.

“And we lapped it up and we’re wise enough to know / how it goes”

Long FaceTime calls. Dancing in the kitchen to The Strokes. Long distance film watching. Early morning drunk calls. Fights. Tension. Fear. Accusations. Breakdowns. Handwritten notes from first dates, with words that used to mean everything and now mean nothing at all.

That wasn’t how the story was supposed to go. Boy meets girl, girl makes boy a better version of himself. Boy and girl spend time together, at first two of them against the world, then the two of them forever and ever. But there was nothing better about that version of him. Drinking more, smoking more, getting high more. More tired. Angrier. Exhausted. That’s what they all said.

He grew fond of disappearing for months. Going back to Ireland, away from everyone but his bandmates and Larry. No Wi-Fi, no signal, no way to check her social media or drunk call her in the middle of the night. He grew fond of being silent, of allowing himself to be Ryan Evan McCann, the boy who wanted to make music for festival crowds to dance to, and not Van McCann, the frontman of Catfish and the Bottlemen. These days, they felt like two different people, and he wasn’t sure which one he preferred.

He didn’t want to admit they were right. He didn’t want to admit they shouldn’t have gotten involved with each other, he didn’t want to admit he knew all along something there wasn’t right.

But god, they were.

“Forgive me, honey / but we’re wise enough to know”

You’re always away. Going out to dinner with a friend. Yes, him. No, Van. What are you worried about? you’re the flirt around here. You know it’s meaningless, so what are you worried about?

That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? What was he worried about? Was it the distance getting to him? Bringing out the worst in him? Did he genuinely think she would do something to hurt him? no. He had faith in her. Inthem. Hell, he had faith in them when no one else did.

So why did he feel, in spite of all of that, that something was off? That he kept missing something? That all the nights he spent alone didn’t feel the same? It wasn’t Hourglass-Van, the boy who was on the road and could only think of his loved one, knowing they’ll get together eventually. Knowing they’ll be reunited, and that everything will be fine. It wasn’t Heathrow-Van either, who would jump into the car to pick her up, eager to see her again, knowing the nights they’re spending together are rarer than red diamonds and more valuable than gold, but just as glorious.

No. Something was different this time around, and he knew it. And the worst part was, deep down, he knew it’s always been this way. It wasn’t meant to last.

“Goahead and tell me something real / come on, how’d you feel?”

“I miss you, love.”

“I miss you too, Van. When are you coming home?”

“Soon, love. Soon. I promise. Tour’s almost done, and then I’ll be home. Promise.”

Sigh.“It’s just that… tour’s never really done with you, Van, innit? there’s always another gig, another night, another festival. A weekend in Australia, two weeks in the States. Always leave by the time we settle in. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

And there it was.“it will be soon, love. I promise. I’ll be home sooner than you think, alright?”

Another sigh.“Alright. I love you, Van.”

But do you really?

“We were side by side again / And now, we’re all careless and loved up”

Her clothes on the floor. Her body against his, falling into their usual rhythm. Her perfume. The scent of her shampoo on his pillow. Her legs wrapped around his torso, her head falling back in pure pleasure. Her mouth hanging open, his lips against her neck. Scratches on his back, her voice beginning him to go faster, deeper, hanging onto every inch of him. Her body vibrating against his.

Her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her. Those were nights that made everything feel right again. The nights the doubt disappeared, the nights they’d stay up late and talk about life. The nights he held onto, the nights that reminded him why he fell in love with her in the first place. The nights that reminded him why he wanted her to wear his necklace someday.

When they were together, all his doubts seemed to vanish. When they were together, side by side, all he could see was her sleepy eyes looking at him, her hair falling on her shoulders softly, framing her face. The way her mouth curved into a soft smile, her morning voice mumbling his name. With the distance no longer between them, it felt right again.

Problem was, when the distance wasbetween them, they seemed to lose it all. The tenderness. The faith in their relationship. The love. The passion. It was a flame that ignited itself every time they were together, and disappeared when they were apart. At least so it seemed on her side.

As time passed, it was no longer geographical distance that was the problem. Even when she was around, she wasn’t. And that’s when he knew things were falling apart.

“Cause we know this feeling / all a little too well”

They were right about one thing: he had the tendency to fall too hard, too fast. Hang onto every relationship, every girl that swept him off his feet. In love with the idea of a soulmate, someone to start a family with, have children with, spend the rest of his life, Van McCann wasn’t very good at letting go.

And it’s not that he didn’t try. He tried to avoid her late night calls. He tried to stay away from her social media, her friends’ social media. He tried to drown himself in gigs, in late night drinks, in festivals, in hand rolled smokes, in the ‘rockstar life’. He really did try.

And then he’d see her name on his screen, his phone lighting up in the middle of the night, and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. You need a phone detox, they said, as if he was addicted to his phone. He definitely wasn’t too attached to it – he didn’t care about the damn thing. No, the problem wasn’t his phone. The problem was her.

He was attached to her.He needed to detox himself from her. He needed his phone, because he needed her.He’d been down this road before, trying to salvage their relationship before it’s too late. He could feel her slipping away, and heneededher not to.

She already has,they said. Let go. You know it.

He did. The feeling in his gut, knowing he’d lost her, knowing there was nothing left to salvage. He’d been done this road before. The heavy feeling in his chest, the bittersweet feeling when he saw her name. Wanting to say I love you and knowing it wouldn’t make a difference. Wanting to hear I love youand knowing it’d be nothing more than empty words, an automated response.

“Follow the heart I believe in / 'cause one of us must know”

The night they debuted Fluctuate was everything he could hope for and more. The crowd was eager to learn the lyrics, eager to share his anger. It was one of those things he could never get sick of – people singing his lyrics back at him, having the time of their lives to the sound of his music. They were an inevitable part of his writing process now – every song, every word, every note was perfectly crafted to make festival crowdsdance the night away. If they were happy, he most certainly was.

They never asked why Fluctuate, just like they never asked why 7. Both times, the lids proved once again they knew him like the back of his hand; they knew he needed to say it, put it out there, long before the album’s out. Because Fluctuate was a track that was written out of a moment of anger, mourning over the loss of a relationship that fell apart, in many ways before it had begun.

The night they debuted Fluctuate was everything he could hope for, and more; and yet, something was missing. Being high on crowd adoration and being in love were very similar in manyways, and yet, they couldn’t be more different. And they never asked why Fluctuate, because god knows it didn’t need saying. They all felt it in their gut, his frustration, his anger, his need to feel like himself again. The way he did when they were curled up in bed, laughing, telling childhood stories. The way he did when he woke her up with a kiss and a cuppa. The way he felt when everything was right– when it briefly was.

“Follow the heart I believe in / ‘cause when the past it's done me good...”

Time passed, like it always does. Memories fade, feelings go numb, and life goeson. With the release of Longshot and their long-anticipated comeback (even though if you ask him, they never left), upcoming tours, festival slots and video shoots, life went back to its insane rhythm, the same rhythm they’d all adored so much. God, he’d missed the adrenaline rush.

Nottingham. Plymouth. London. Sold out nights, thousands of people welcoming them back home. Thousands of people reminding him where he belonged – onstage, with his Fender, with them, watching their reactions. The way their eyes lit up after the very first note of Cocoon, the sound of them singing Hourglass in unison. Tyrants mosh pits. People dancing, screaming, singing, cheering, crying, making out… living. That’s what it always came down to. People living to the sound of Bob’s rhythm, or Benji’s bass lines, another one of Bondy’s solos, orhis words. The words that always represented him, even when he wasn’t sure what that meant.

“Van, mate, you okay?” he heard Bondy’s voice behind him. “You’ve been standing still for almost ten minutes.”

Has he? He hadn’t noticed. “Buzzin’,” he replied, practically on autopilot. His eyes were focused on her– the way she mouthed along the lyrics to whatever she was listening to, her body moving to the rhythm, not caring if anyone saw her. The way she looked up at him, and smiled. It’s been a while since he’d seen such a soft, genuine smile. The way she seemed almost hesitant to approach him. All he did was nod, inviting her to come over, inviting her to say something, wanting to know if her voice was as gentle as the rest of her seemed to be.

“Oh, god,” he heard Larry sighing in the background. “Here we go again.”

Yes, he smiled to himself, Here we go again.

[minblush]

We need new ways to do cute stuff with the boys. What if next fan sign everyone brings a basket of flowers, and they shower the boys in flower petals? :) Memories are more valuable when made without things. Like you don't expect a kid to remember you because you made him have a toy they'll remember you because you went on a hiking trip that made you realize you loved to hike. IDK if this makes sense...

haha you’re very sweet but that wouldn’t be allowed either? i think someone from bighit’s staff would straight up tackle you if you tried to throw anything at them.. i’m not sure i get your point right here, if you’re talking about the boys remembering the fans or the fans remembering the moment, either way that is true and i’m sure the fans at the fansign are still glad they get to spend some time with them at all, but it’s still “less than” it was before

Anonymous said:

talking about the “old days” honestly I feel like I’m kind of falling out of love with bts??? I still love the members, and wish them the greatest lives but I can’t say I really enjoy bts as an “"idol group”“ as much anymore. I feel pretentious as hell saying this but I feel like every part of their lives, music, and public image is so micro managed that it’s hard to really feel connected with them anymore? It’s just lost that spark of wonder and excitement I used to feel. Like it’s nothing -

Anonymous said:- special and they’re just another idol group. Which was pretty hard for me to come to terms with tbh - bts was such a big part of my life and I just don’t really feel like keeping up with them anymore. I will always love the boys, I just don’t vibe with the feeling behind the group anymore. ((( anyway lmao this is just me getting my feels out bc I felt like I needed to )))

i really understand how you feel because it’s something i’ve been struggling with myself… i will let out my feels for you in return :) i got into kpop a long time ago, almost 10 years now, and i liked many groups over time.. but as i got older and understood the industry more and more, i stopped stanning groups? like after some of my fav groups lost members and started disbanding, i was just over being a fan, i still listened to the music but didn’t follow anyone close anymore because i just didn’t like the whole kpop formula anymore, and then i got into bts and they brought me back into it.. because they were really different from all the other kpop groups i have ever known.. their relationship to each other seemed genuine, they actually really seemed to care about their music and their performances never felt like they were there just to get through it like some other groups i have stanned (coughexocough), and they actively communicated with fans to an extent i have never experienced before.. like back in the old days, you really heard from them every day, they updated so much about their thoughts and about what they were doing, they replied to fans on fancafe often, and they did react to people on twitter too.. now when they even just as much as accidentally press a like on a fan’s tweet, they have to go back and unlike it :/ they weren’t as controlled as others back then, they were more honest and open about their thoughts and struggles and their company didn’t seem to have as tight of a leash on them.. now their struggles are used as a marketing point more than them trying to genuinely reach out and share with us… even at fansigns when compared to other groups, they would touch the fans, let the fans touch them, talk to everyone familiarly… you could see them mess around in bangtan bombs, they weren’t afraid to look silly or ugly, but now we mostly just get all these highly polished behind the scenes things… where are the days where you could see them throw snow balls at each other… partly it’s because they grew up, but partly it’s because bighit has too much of control.. and they are so busy and tired most of the time… you know they were recreating the old bangtan bombs in the comeback special… and more than anything it made me sad because bighit still markets them as those loud silly boys that communicate with fans so much, when they have been kept from those things for a long time now.. and that image and recreation of the past just rings false now…

back in the day they just felt really like you were taking the journey along with them, they weren’t as distant.. everything was so real… at least as real as a kpop group could ever get.. but now… i know they are busy, but also because of the popularity they can’t speak as freely anymore because everything they say turns into a trending hashtag.. everything they do gets dissected to pieces.. which i understand a little.. but what bothers me is the fact that the company and their paranoia and them being control freaks has reached such an extent that the boys really feel so distant and cut off from the fans and feel more like dolls used for advertisements because bighit prioritizes money and doesn’t give them enough space to actually work on the music they care about… but now i get to the point why i still am a fan despite a lot of why i became a fan isn’t there anymore… because first i love the boys as people and i adore their teamwork just as much as i did at the start, those things didn’t change, i feel like their bond actually keeps strengthening even though we don’t get to see as much of it anymore..  i still feel like the love for their fans is genuine, like they care about the music and about the performance, i feel like they care so much it hurts, i feel like in their hearts what they want to do the most is make good music and put on a good performance, because when i see them perform i still don’t feel like it’s a chore for them, and that level of genuine enthusiasm is what keeps me here, their relationship and their passion for music and performing is what i believe still makes them very special, i just hate that bighit is doing like everything they can to cut off everything that made them genuine, that made them stand apart? nowadays a lot of smaller kpop groups do a better job at communicating with fans than bts do and that’s sad… like the fact that they were so outspoken and real was what brought a lot of people in, and now instead of capitalizing on it, they get all the more strict because they have too much riding on bangtan, their only group, and they are too paranoid and scared of jeopardizing their position… and also they’re too fucking greedy… but my hope is that they will let go of those tight reigns a little again eventually… after their peek has passed… maybe that is a bad thing to hope for… but i am looking forward to the days bighit doesn’t treat the fans like the enemy the boys have to be kept from and protected from, and of the day the boys will feel like it’s okay to reach out to us more again

[ratbone]

ALL of the questions

im putting a read more for this you heathen

Sunrise or sunset?  sunrise!!

Are you mentally ill? yea p much

Are you physically ill? think so

What is the most expensive thing you have bought? my pc!! fuk!!

Do you have a job? i do not. im gonna sound like a bum.

Are you in school? nope

Are you a dropout? nope

Are you in college? not for the moment

Introvert or extrovert? i think myself an introvert

What do you think when you look at your body? pls dont look at my body unless u want me to cry

What have others said when they look at your body? oh boy idk if u wanna know this one, let that suffice as an answer

Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? yeah!! it changes sometimes, but atm its this song: pvris - seperate

Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? i hope this doesnt sound cliche or anything but i honestly dont remember.

Are you confident wearing a bikini? hell no

Can you look people in the eyes while talking? sometimes

Has anything terrible happened to you? lmao yeah you bet

Has anything wonderful happened to you? my friends

Favorite part of your personality? ive been told im empathetic

Least favorite part of your personality? most of everything yeah

Favorite part of your body? eyelashes

Least favorite part of your body? all of it

Favorite quote? sure. “I aim to be lionhearted, but my hands still shake and my voice isn’t quite loud enough.”Michelle K., Earning Your Roar

Do you have friendships with all genders? hell yea

Do you have a good relationship with your father? i guess, im distant from most of my family though.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? as good as it can be until she’s pissed off.

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings? nah, they hate me and keep trying to convince me im adopted.

Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? looks at parents.

Have you ever had a near death experience? ive almost drowned twice in my life time, when i was much younger.

Do you know anyone who has taken their own life? yeah, i do.

Have you ever tried to take your own life? no.

Biggest lie you have told? ill do better.

Do you follow any conspiracies? not really

Do you believe in a New World Order? eh?

Do you respect your government and the way your country is run? oh boy i have a lot of issues with this bullshit im not gonna dive into

Is there currently any strife in your country? a lot???

Have you ever been displaced within your country? ehhh

Are your friendships healthy? id like to hope so.

Are you currently fighting with a friend? no, i am not.

Are you jealous of a friend? Why? most friends, but its because they are happy, but its not like i dont want them to be or anything, i just wish i could be too.

Do you believe in the Illuminati? ahhhh!!!

Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who? me. yes its me.

How can people tell you are nervous? Visibly tense, unable to make much eye contact, shaky voice, fidgeting my fingers.

How can people tell you are sad? i cry. lmao. or i distance myself for long periods without wanting to talk to people. but uh, i do this when i need to take a break from being social too.

Do you ever express your true feelings? no i shove them inside a paper bag and stomp all over them. i try to avoid most human emotions.

Regrets in your life? a lot, no joke.

Achievements in your life? i graduated highschool lmao.

What did people say about you in school? OHHH BBBBOY. i was weird or a freak, made up random shitty stories about me to a point where i just didnt talk to anybody my last year.

What did you say about people in school? i dont have anything to say about them. idk. fuck that school.

Is there something you have never told anyone? ya probably.

Have you committed an illegal act? my uncle let me puff a cig once when i was 5. i never did that again.

If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? PAY OFF BILLS!!!! GET NEW THINGS!!!

What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18? to answer all of them: to be a dragon. k? ok.

Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? it was gross, and no it was not.

Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? i think my family started out with low average but once dad lost his job we became low income, etc.

Are you from a broken marriage? my parents are still together

Have you been raised by a solo parent? no

Do you know both your parents? yes

What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have? blue eyes, brown hair, vampire skin

Have you abused drugs or alcohol? no i have not.

What languages can you speak? english. AND VERY POORLY: german, spanish. idk if i can really count those yet.

Do you conform to your societies standards? i gotta if i wanna stay alive i guess

Do you cry often? a lot, actually.

Do you tell people what you think of them? yeah, i certainly try to let people know how i feel.

Are you comfortable accepting compliments? no, i have a very poor self image and im used to thinking the worst about myself.

Are you comfortable giving compliments? yes!!! i try to give my friends compliments

Is any mental illness hindering your life? depression. could be more, but im not sure in all honesty.

Is any physical illness hindering your life? i need to see a doctor lmao

Do you keep up with current events? not really, i kinda drift along time and space and hope for the best.

What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read? the hurricanes and the fires, flooding in other countries, and the possibility the bees are making a comeback.

What have you done today? I ATE, SLEPT, AND SAT AT THIS COMPUTER. i am totally productive.

Do you sleep well? lmao no

Do you sleep badly? yes

Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting? i think that depends on the situation. i can lash out at people sometimes if i felt they’ve really struck a low cord with me, but you really have to be trying tbh.

Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting? god, probably, i dont remember. i guess my mom counts. she takes out her emotions on everyone.

Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why? yeah. idk for various reasons? like it didnt work out, there wasnt really anything there, or i was too boring, we stopped talking, we kept arguing, or i just didnt feel strongly towards them anymore and vice versa.

Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves? ive tried.

Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself? they’ve tried.

Do you like your laugh? its a pretty random laugh, but its ok i guess.

Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind? no. but im waiting for nuclear winter.

Do you have any funny family stories? most of them are my dad going into a store and making cat noises, so people end up looking in the vents and shit.

Are you religious? no

Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies? not really

Are you interested in cults? no thnx

Would you like to raise a family in your country? uhhhh i dont wanna have to raise any child ever. and idc about the location where i try to be happy at.

List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got? to be a dragon. seriously isnt that fucked up??? realism is fucking rude.

Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling? im 24 while most of my siblings are well along into their 40s, so yea.

Are you from a blended family? no

Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not? idc. get married or dont it really doesnt make a difference to me.

What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you? literally any little compliment.

Do you keep a journal? nah, i dont write down shit at all.

Would anyone be hurt by reading it? if i wrote things down in it? probably.

Do you have children? HELL NAH

Have you been pregnant? FUK NAH

List your favorite movies? Lord of the Rings, Interstellar, Arrival, The Fountain, and most Disney movies.

List your favorite people? MY FRIENDS.

Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body? my biggest scar is no more, i got it when i was 11 from falling off a tree i was climbing, but its near impossible to see now. ive got stretch marks.

Do you look after yourself? lmao no tbh

Do you put yourself or others first? i always try to do things for everyone else.

Are you happy today? im alright.

Are you loved? i try to tell myself that i am. it keeps me going.

[kwa-mii]

Mine, Not Yours

Swooping in to @thinkoutsidethelovesquare‘s third week (polyamory) on the very end of the deadline and without a care in the world ~

I decided to write a Chat Noir/Ladybug/Queen Bee because there are two different love triangles actually involved (tho this fic does reconcile that into a real polyamorous relationship) aka their super selves and also their regular selves SO it’s spicy. Also I envision Chat Noir and Queen Bee as getting along very poorly and that makes for extra spice

(like holy cow this was a cahoot to write tbh)

The full fic is up on ao3, but here’s the first part for a bit of a tasteee

Mine, Not Yours - a LadyNoirBee (?) fic (1264 words, up to the cut)

Warnings: language

The Miraculous Wielders; heroes of Paris, defenders of Justice, guardians of Peace. The masked heroes were looked to with adoration by all. Ladybug, with her determination and the life that bloomed from her; Chat, with his limitless charm and smile that never slipped; and their new teammate, Queen Bee, who was glamorous and cool, but with such compassion beneath. As symbols of the city, they were perfect, represented everything which France held dear. Not only were they Parisian icons, but their endless war against Hawkmoth made them victors, despite it not being quite yet won.

What the people of Paris did not know was that there was a second, secret war going on in their city.

Heart racing, lips panting, Chat Noir leaped from rooftop to rooftop, steadying himself with his staff whenever the walls loomed too close. The pads of his feet burned with the repeated heavy contact of his frenzied footfall, his fingertips raw from dragging himself up onto the eaves of the buildings around him. There was hair in his eyes, and he almost scratched himself with his own claws when pushing the strands away. His whole body felt messy, wrong; stomach groaning, lungs howling, veins screeching. He was hurting himself in his haste. But he had to be fast.

He clambered up onto a spire, eyes narrowing to scry for their target. In an instant his heart plummeted from his chest, and blank despair surged to fill the cavern it left. He was too late.

Queen Bee was there talking to Ladybug.

He had no idea how the striped superhero had found her so fast; as soon as Chat had heard rumours that Ladybug had been sighted around the city, he had been out and transformed in a flash. And yet, somehow, he had been beaten - but, as he reminded himself, only in the battle, not the war.

The truth of it was that Chat Noir and Queen Bee were fighting (some might say squabbling) over the lady in red. This, among other things, had led to his dislike of his new partner. He could not put out of his head that unfavourable first impression; Queen Bee had acted bratty, stand-offish, entitled. She was vain, believed herself better than all except Ladybug. She sniffed, scoffed, and scorned. She loved attention, and she hated Chat.

Maybe that was mutual. Although Queen Bee had certainly mellowed - she embraced crowds with enthusiasm now rather than imperious disdain - Chat could not shake his distaste. He found her rude, and frankly unnecessary; her signature move, Pollination, was no more than a glorified skill buff (Chat, as an avid RPG player, and already plenty powerful, didn't see much point). It was a good thing she was hot, since she didn't have much else going for her in his book.

Her flirting with Ladybug had been the last straw to topple their relationship. Chat and Bee fought together with gritted teeth in the daytime, and fought each other snarling in the night.

He hopped from his perch into the glow of moonlight where the girls stood, "A midnight rendezvous and I wasn't invited? How un-furr."

Queen Bee shrugged and gave him her signature assertive grin, "Well, while the cat's away, the mice can play."

He was supposed to be the one that slipped these sorts of things into his sentences; it was cool when he did it, but Queen Bee just made his cute quirk annoying.

Ladybug groaned, "No, I can't deal with this from both of you."

"Is she bugging you, milady?"

It was Bee that answered the question, "I don't think so. We bugs have a special friendship. I don't think a dirty alleycat like you would understand."

If he had fur, it would be bristling, and his hackles would be raised. Even so, he couldn't help but hiss lowly. Chat had never really thought of himself as a jealous person, but... he was definitely a jealous person. It certainly wasn't helping that Queen Bee had her arm around Ladybug's shoulder, and was staring him down with gloating defiance.

Chat beat down the rising resentment. She was only doing that because she was insecure. Obviously, she knew Ladybug was destined to be his. She was constantly doing things for Ladybug to get on her good side - she bought her flowers (over which the girls enthused together), she lade her with jewellery (over which she boasted her wealth), she released doves from rooftops (over which Chat got more frustrated than he should - his allergies prevented him from making such sweeping statements of affection). He told himself now, as he often did, that she performed these extravagant gestures because her obnoxious personality gave her no chance. She wasn't making any leeway in her pursuit of Ladybug, and Ladybug wasn't currently giggling into her shoulder because she liked her or anything.

Wait. Damn. Giggling? Chat had missed the joke. He'd lost the opportunity to make an even wittier comeback and charm his lady.

He cut in, "Anyway, why are you guys out? I was worried there had been some sort of cat-astrophe."

"Actually, we're on a date."

Ladybug looked flustered, "Well, no, it's not a date, per se, more like a meeting? Bee just told me she had something to say to me. And here I am."

"Oh?" he noticed his hands were balled into fists and forced himself to unfurl them, "That sounds im-purr-tant."

Queen Bee glowered at him, "I swear to god, I lose a little bit more of my sanity every time you open your mouth."

"Oh yeah? I lose a brain cell every second I'm in your company."

"Oh, is that right? Well, I lose a year from my life expectancy whenever you - "

"Stop it you two!" Ladybug yanked Queen Bee back - neither of them had noticed how close their argument had brought them. But all that Chat Noir was able to process was that Ladybug had pulled Bee back instead of him. Why? Was it because she thought of her as the more aggressive party? Was it because she was the one she'd rather touch?

The yellow hero seemed to think the latter, leaning ever so slightly into her teammate to showcase their established proximity. Chat seethed, saw red.

Ladybug snapped him to attention, "Will you two ever grow up? I know you don't get along but this is embarrassing."

Obstinately, they both stayed silent, neither willing to apologise.

She sighed, "Anyway, Bee, you had something to say?"

"What? Oh, right, yeah. Well, I forgot," she grumbled, "It's hard to think with that alley cat breathing down my neck."

"I'm only breathing down your neck because you smell so bad I-"

"Goodnight!"

They whipped around in one motion, looked at Ladybug's retreating figure, "Goodnight...?"

"I'm going to give you some time to simmer down. We can try this again when you figure out that in-fighting isn't going to get us anywhere. The most important thing is to stay united and you're really not doing a very good job of that. So goodnight."

And with that, she was gone, yo-yo-ing across the Parisian skyline.

Chat gave thought to her words. He supposed she was right. Arguing with Queen Bee was such a waste, and it certainly wasn't going to win him any favours with the girl in red. So, with a deep breath, he resigned himself to being cordial. He could do that.

"You only called her to flirt with her, didn't you?"

"I wouldn't have to if you were any good at it."

He wanted to claw her eyes out. Screw cordiality. That could wait.

"You malicious hornet," he hissed.

"Oh, fuck off and scratch your fleas you filthy tom."