i know a lot of people are really sad right now, so i’m gonna share some moments from the inn visit that i forgot to share.
i saw mom and stede sitting outside talking about something important. i dunno what they were saying but it looked really pretty so i drew it.
here’s wolf and stede the 16th.
sorry i stacked them. but it might make you smile.
here’s alma fighting off the ghost from our closet. that may sound bad, but sir unicorn seemed like he was actually having fun.
here’s alma cheating winning at cards. Doug was laughing.
and finally, me. the reigning champion of stede-stack.
i have more moments that i can share so feel free to ask me about them.
I hope this cheered you guys up a little,
And remember, art has always been something that keeps on growing. Even as we lose moments together, we gain a new path to make more. bouncing ideas and growing closer to ourselves, our community and our species as a human by creating and coming together. making art, no matter how much we have to sacrifice, will always be worth it.
… idk what that has to do with anything, and idk why i said all of that, but it’s true.
there is a duality that claudia was a forty year old woman, who essentially joined a cult - louis warned her, but what else are you to do? she is not a child, though trapped in the body of one, that is to say that although it would come from a place of pride and claudia being an extension of himself as her maker: lestat would have never allowed her to be so ridiculed and humiliated
y'know, considering that both Louis and Claudia sound like New Orleans personified, it really was quite brave of them to go with CHICAGO as their fake hometown.
Me before my day off: I am going to get so much done. My house is going to be so clean!
Me on my day off: obsessively watching and reading about messy, gay vampires and their emotionally tortured reporter boyfriend while laying on top of my bed of laundry.
went to bed and woke up in a cold sweat realizing that claudia's play, the birdie one, is both a direct analogy for her story and also foreshadowing of her death WHILE ALSO nodding to pauls death
claudia'a single minded, desperate drive for freedom eventually lead her directly to her death. she was "nailed down" by lestat (by LOUIS, actually- lestat only kept her for him.), and tore herself free at the loss of her 'foot,' being a stand in for the personal pain she suffered for freedom
no matter what she or anyone did, she was going to die painfully, because she was so desperate to be free that everything was suffocating. lestat, louis, romania, the coven. the only thing that didnt rot in her mind was madeline, because... there simply wasnt time. madeline was fresh and new and, given time, would have probably suffered the same heel-turn claudia gave to everything.
of course thats because she shared louis' hopeful outlook. being free of her parents? would fix everything. when it didn't? maybe if she had louis, it would be worth it. but its not, lestats still here, louis is still in love with him... killing lestat, thatll fix it, and she and louis will be happy in romania, right, the homeland for vampirekind? not quite, so better try paris, the city of love. that doesnt work. the coven, though, will give her what she wants, right? she'll be happy with other vampires?
the only person who makes her happy is? a modern version of lestat? a weird white woman she met on happenstance, who has little to no care for societal norms or faux pas. a blunt, kind of funny, kind of sad woman who lost her family but has a capacity for enduring because what else is she going to do? die? no, she cant do that. she had no friends because she was weird and offputting and had dangerous rumors, no hangups on loving claudia, no hangups on dying or being a killer.
that's... just lestat. without the immortality and the specific traumas, of course, but like. claudia's most beloved person was a funhouse mirror of her most hated. which really speaks volumes for what they could have had, because it wasnt just a clash of personalities. it was lestats bpd clashing with hers and both of their attachment to louis clashing. if lestat had been better at sharing, if louis had been better at loving both of them, if claudia had been less angry at the world for nothing but existing? maybe they could have been a good family. a happy one forever, just like they all wanted, but were unable to give each other
reading Interview with the Vampire right now and ive been having a lot of trouble getting through it largely due to how insufferable and racist the characters are (tho to what degree anne rice is doing that on-purpose is really hard to tell. im a little skeptical tho). And its really, really making me appreciate even more the AMC series and the earnest conversation it seems to have with the source material and the racism in it. and to some degree with a genre that is incredibly racist itself and largely excludes black voices entirely. honestly so fucking brilliant of the show to make Louis, who in the books is a slaver, a black man in an incredibly racist world who is earnestly and compellingly and furiously reckoning with his world (and his genre and his existential drama and his abusive relationship which is again so clearly tied into and a part of his being a black man). like its clearly made with love towards the original source material but louis (and claudia too) are just such a refreshing take on the vampire genres obsession with ultra-pale slave owners.