Leo: What should I do?
Frank: *holds out hand* May I suggest dinner with a friend?
Leo: Well, none of my friends are available, so I guess I'll have to go with you.
———————————————————————-
Annabeth: You're pathetic!
Percy: You're pathetic-er!
Nico: You're both losers.
———————————————————————-
Piper: Oh my Jason.
Frank: Don't you mean 'oh my god'?
Piper: You worship your god, I'll worship mine.
———————————————————————-
Leo: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Piper: wHat?
Leo: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Piper: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?
———————————————————————-
Will: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
Nico:
Will: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
Nico: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.
———————————————————————-
Frank: Why is Percy crying?
Hazel: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-
Percy: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!
Frank: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-
Percy: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!
Frank: NO, NOT THAT!
———————————————————————-
Will: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team.
Nico: Sounds fake but ok.
———————————————————————-
Piper: Yo dumbass, get over here.
Leo: Okay-
Percy: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!
Leo, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...
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Announcer: ...and our four contestants are ready. They will have 1 hour to put together their dishes. Before we get started, let's go to the floor and put our contestants in the hotseat.
Interviewer: First up, hailing from the US's very own NYC. Perseus ssss Jackson! How are you feeling, Percy?
Percy: I'm doing alright, thanks.
Interviewer: What do you have planned for the judges today?
Percy: I'm doing seafood.
Announcer: Seafood. No surprises from the son of Poseidon. Let's go now to Leo Valdez.
Interviewer: Hailing from the southern metropolis of Houston, Texas. It's the senior counselor of the Hephaestus cabin at Camp Half-Blood. Give it up for Leo Valdez!
Leo: WASSUP everybody!?
Interviewer: You seem excited.
Leo: Nah, that's just how I roll. I'd like to take a moment to say - let's everybody do the Team Leo!
Interviewer: What you have planned for us Leo?
Leo: Hispanic food! I do it best...
Interviewer: Confident, ain't he?
Announcer: That's Leo Valdez, folks. Now we go to our third contestant.
Interviewer: Let's all put our hands together for Athena's own daughter, Annabeth Chase. How're you feeling Annabeth?
Annabeth: I'm feeling great.
Interviewer: Psyched to win it?
Annabeth: You know it!
Interviewer: What are you cooking up for us today?
Annabeth: I'm doing desserts.
Announcer: Desserts! A bold choice from the daughter of Athena. Time will tell if Annabeth's desserts blow the judges away and send her home with the grand prize. Now let's go to our last contestant.
Interviewer: Our last contestant is His Grace, the Ambassador of Hades. The Ghost King himself. Nico di Angelo! How are you doing Nico?
Nico: Okay, I guess...
Interviewer: What are you cooking up for us?
Nico: I'm doing dishes with black ingredients.
Announcer: Another bold choice from this son of Hades. I think it is safe to say that our judges can look forward to a diverse spread of food at the end of the night. Now, let's get it started. One hour on the clock! Contestants... GO!
Percy
-starts placing large lettuce leaves on plates
-chops up onions
-dices potatoes
-cuts deboned fish into thin slices
-squeezes mayo into a bowl
-finely chops up two whole dill pickles
-measures out 1/4 cup of lemon juice
Announcer: I think it seems obvious that the son of Poseidon is preparing some kind of fish dish and tartar sauce, but what are the diced potatoes and onions for? It's anyone's guess, folks.
Leo
-chops up two tomatoes and two bell peppers
-opens two cans of refried beans
-starts rolling out corn flour flat
-starts ground pork to frying on low heat
-makes a four-cheese blend
Announcer: Leo appears to have two dishes underway already. One is probably tacos, but the corn flour is an interesting choice. What's he doing now?
Interviewer: Can you tell us what you're planning with the corn flour?
Leo: Sure. I'm making pupusas.
Announcer: ...and it is! Pupusas! A rather unexpected pleasure for our judges.
Annabeth
-whips up chocolate pudding mix
-crushes up graham crackers
-starts whipping cream
-breaks 3 eggs into a bowl
-starts adding two tablespoons of peanut butter,
Announcer: It looks like the daughter of Athena might be making peanut butter cookies. Clearly the pudding and the graham crackers are intended for something else. What could the whipped cream be for?
Nico
-stirs together blackberries, amaretto, and corn starch in a bowl
-sets premade pie crust on the counter
-starts black beans on low in a food processer
-starts melting cheese
-slices up two egg plants
-pours rice into rice cooker
Announcer: The son of Hades is fast on his feet. Watch him go folks! He already has what appears to be at least three dishes in the works. It's a little early to call, but the competition starts with Nico clearly in the lead.
(in audience) Will: Go Nico! Yeah!
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