#ted lasso x you

[my-soupy-brain]

feeling horny at work and telling Ted you need his d (just to watch him blush)

Let's just get into this because I am SERIOUSLY unhinged today. I think he'd go a little nuts but you know damn well you'd make up or it. Let's gooo!

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Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader (F)

Warnings: SMUT

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You leaned next to Ted at the coffee maker, smiling as you poured your cups.

"Hi honeybunch," he smiles at you.

"Hi, sweetie," you answer, your eyes sparkling. He could get lost in your sweet gaze.

"How's your day goin'?" he asked politely.

"OK. I need your dick though," you murmur into your coffee mug, making Ted almost spit-take his.

"What?"

"I gotta go back to my office. Those pressers aren't gonna write themselves."

He watched you sway through the doorway, your lusty eyes looking at him before you left his vision. He stays leaning on the counter, his cock twitching in his pants. He tries to will it down, closing his eyes and meditating.

Except when he closes his eyes, he sees you on your knees, his khakis bunched around his thighs, his hands holding your hair back as you gulp him down.

He adjusts his pants and heads upstairs for the meeting.

...

You're part of the same meeting and you see Higgins and Rebecca talking near her desk, and Ted sitting on Rebecca's office couch.

Just for fun, you lean over to set down your binders, letting Ted see a complete view of your lacy push-up bra and the dark shadows of cleavage in your blouse.

When you sit down, your skirt hikes up and you bounce your heel as it hangs off your toes, nibbling on the end of a pen.

Ted shifts his hips in his seat, his eyes combing every inch of you, thinking about what you said a little while ago.

You take out your phone and text him, a photo of yourself, your skirt hiked, your blouse open, biting your lip -- you took it earlier in the bathroom.

You: Still want your cock...

Ted hears his alert, pulls his phone out and looks at it, audibly gulping. He bites his lip, blushes and looks at you.

Ding! Your phone rings back.

Ted: You keep that up, I'm gonna split you in half when we get home.

You suck in a breath and Ted's dark eyes flash over at you, watching as you respond. Your lips curl into a smirk.

You: I think you're trying to threaten me but you're making me gush where you want it most. Mission accomplished, sir.

Ted's phone chimes and he coughs, trying to hide the immediate reaction of blood rushing to his dick.

"Y/N? Ted? You can go. We have some logistics to figure out before we can talk next steps," Rebecca says, focusing her eyes back on Higgins.

Ted nods and ducks out of the room. You smile and wave, picking up your binders and heading out.

On your way to Ted's office to see him, you feel a tug on your elbow into the boot room. Ted closes the door, shuts the shade, and pushes your body against the door with a rough, passionate kiss.

You're breathing thick pockets of air through your noses as you kiss, his hands hungry and desperate, sneaking in through the top open buttons of your blouse to touch you. His left hand climbs under your skirt and over the soft flesh of your ass.

"Goddamnit, darlin'," Ted huffs, his lips on your neck. "What'chu doin' to me up there?"

You giggle as his lips connect to the skin under your ear, his breath hot and heavy.

"I was just teasin' ya, of course..."

His hand squeezes your ass, and you clench at how powerful he feels.

"You're gonna pay dearly for that, sugar," he murmurs, his hand rubbing between your thighs, making your breath catch in your throat. Your hips move in tandem motion with his hand, grinding for friction.

"Oh, fuck..." you gasp, the teasing and hunger of his energy driving your desire like a fucking engine.

His fingers move faster, pressing, teasing... His lips return to yours, and he smiles wickedly when he feels your body tremble.

And then he pulls his hand away.

"N-n-no, no, come back," you beg, your body humming with arousal. You were so close to coming and after all this playing today, you need release.

Ted holds up his finger and tocks it back and forth.

"Mmm, I don't think so. I'm gonna make ya wait, babydoll," Ted says, his hands caging your head against the door as he gazes down at you. "When we get home... well... the gloves come off."

Your eyes flutter closed as you gulp. Two hours. Two hours left of torture.

Ted's lips return to your neck, feather-light, then move up to your ear.

"I'm thinkin' we'll eat dinner in bed. If I have my way, you won't be walkin' off that mattress tonight."

Your body ruts against the door and he chuckles. Another kiss to your lips and a sexy gaze from his dark eyes.

"Now get back to work, sweetpea," Ted says, lifting up the blinds, opening the door, and watching you dazily wander back to your office.

Tonight is going to be one for the books.

---

WOOOOO! Do we need a part two? I think we might. Ted is gonna absolutely do DAMAGE in the best way when he gets you home. Oooof! Thanks for this prompt, friend! Fun, sexy, flirty. I'm here for it.

[someplace-darker]

In The Static | Ted Lasso

Pairing: Ted Lasso x reader (no y/n) Wordcount: 2.1k Warnings: panic attack/talks of panic attacks, vague mentions of trauma. That's about it I think, it's a touch angst and hurt/comfort I suppose. Fluff. Summary: Ted thought he was past his panic attacks until he encounters another, and you follow him to make sure he's okay. A/N: "now jay" you might be saying "wasn't the last thing you posted smut almost a year ago?" and the answer is yes. But i've recently become insanely attached to Ted Lasso, and I dipped my toe into writing more than a wip. SO here's my middle aged white man of the month. Enjoy :)

“REFEREE!!!” Keeley stands with a force that causes her to latch onto your arm to keep from falling forward. It continues to astound you that for such a tiny lady, she really contains an insane amount of spunk. One of the opposing team’s men had just slid Sam’s legs out from under himself, causing him to land hard on his shoulder. The game had been a rough one so far, more aggressive and bitter than most. Richmond had been respectful at first (as per usual) but the second their opponents had started playing violent and dirty, that changed.

Roy and Beard were obviously shouting and pointing angrily, though you couldn’t make out what they were saying from your seat in the box. Ted, however, was standing stiffly with his balled fists shoved into the pockets of his Richmond zip-up. You can feel that something is off. Even if you can’t see his face, you know him well enough to read his body language. There’s mere minutes left in the game and the teams are tied.

Rebecca is already standing and gathering her belongings to head back in, gesturing for the lot of you to follow. That’s exactly what you begin to do before the crowd goes ape-shit, jumping from their seats and screaming so loud it makes your head thrum. 

“ROJAS INTERCEPTS THE KICK AND PASSES TO TARTT AND JUST LIKE THAT-”

You turn just in time to watch Jamie kick the ball into the net, the stadium erupting in cheers that shake the ground.

“AFC RICHMOND TAKES ANOTHER VICTORY 2-1 IN A SHOCKING LAST SECOND SCORE”

Keeley, Higgins, and Rebecca rejoice, grabbing at each other in shock. Placing your fingers between your lips you let out a piercing whistle, jumping up and down as thousands of chants echo. You look down to your coaches, expecting to see all three soaking in the sweet relief of not gaining another loss. Instead, you see Ted darting for the locker room, head down with his phone held two inches from his face. It was obvious to you that he was trying to use it as a cover. 

“I’ll meet back with you guys later, I’ve gotta check something real quick.” 

They smile and wave you off, relishing in the buzzing excitement clearly felt throughout the facility. As much as you wish you could join them in celebration, you were pretty sure Ted needed you more. So you slip through the small crowds with ease, having much practice during your time with Richmond, taking the back staircase to the locker room hallway. 

At first you check his office, finding only his jacket laying on the floor. The second spot you search is the right one, opening the door to darkness. You almost turn and leave but a staggered breath gives him away. 

“Ted?” you whisper, stepping into the boot room and closing the door gently. He sniffles almost silently and hums in response, curling in on himself when the lights flicker on at your touch.. You’ve never seen him look so small before, his entire body condensed into half of his height in the corner of the room, the sight moving you to shut the lights back off for his sake.

“Hey,” you murmur softly, walking over to kneel in front of him. He has his head placed between his knees, hands on the back of head with his fingers intertwined tightly. As much as you know of his panic attacks, you’ve never been present for one. Something tells you he tends to keep it that way with everyone around him. 

However, you’re well versed with them yourself.

“I’m gonna sit beside you, but I won’t touch you unless you say it’s okay.”

You lower yourself onto the ground, the floor cold beneath your already freezing ass. England's weather was not kind to the warm blooded. Ted doesn’t lift his head all the way, simply angles it towards you just enough for an eye to peek out from behind his arm. He looks at you with the gaze of a wounded puppy, eyes red and wet, smeared with warm tears.

The silence that follows is deafening, a faint ringing the only thing you hear. Ted looks like he wants to say something, but thinks better of it. It’s not like you can blame him. The last time he opened up to someone he considered close about his panic attacks, it ended up plastered on every magazine and tabloid across the country. Trust within himself and others had been fractured- not broken. No one could ever betray Coach Lasso enough to break that within him, it was fundamental to who he was as a person.

After a few more minutes of silence his foot slides over to yours, just barely nudging it. He lifts his head and sniffles, using his sleeve to wipe the mix of tears and snot off his face.

“I want to tell you about it, I do. I’m just… stuck. Feels like if I tell you, it’ll be too much,” he murmurs, keeping his foot pressed to yours.

“I understand, Ted,” you whisper. “I started having panic attacks before I was even a teenager. I’d been through things- rough things -and they plagued me for years.” He begins to unfurl himself, listening intently to every word you say, the blatant honesty and vulnerability easing his anxiety. “It took me a while to open up to anyone about them, let alone a therapist. I spent so long trying to hide them, that when I finally did get help I felt like a fake.” 

Ted adjusts himself to sit up straighter, shimmying closer so your shoulders touch. You can tell he’s trying to be inconspicuous about it, but the man is known to be anything but subtle.  Outside you can hear the boys begin filing into the hallway, headed for the locker room surely for some type of victory activity. Their shadows dance across the wall in the darkened boot room, slashed into segments by the blinds slanted slightly open. Both of you seemed to have held your breaths as they passed, because as soon as they’re gone there’s a simultaneous exhale of relief.

An amused breath comes from Ted, palm pressing from the corner of his eye to the tip of his cheekbone to wipe away the stray tears. He knocks his knee against yours and dares to glance at you, opening up enough to make eye contact. Here in this room, he looks more human than you think you’ve ever seen him. For the most part he keeps his mood insanely optimistic, tending to care more about others happiness than his own. It gave him an almost otherworldly bounce to his step and light to his eyes. 

But now that he’s sat no more than two inches in front of you with puffy eyes and a chewed lip, Ted is just… a broken man. 

“You’ll never be too much, Ted. It’s normal to feel stuck, and it’s okay to not be able to talk about it yet.” His eyes flick to your hand when you lift it towards him, a lifeline of trust, openness in the form of warm skin and an upward facing palm. Internal conflict tugs at his lungs, his breath hitching as he weighs his options for all of five seconds before taking your hand. You are someone Ted knows he can always find solace in. 

Someone who he could spot in a crowd of thousands, someone who he will always seek out. 

His other hand reaches to pat the top of yours, rubbing his thumb against your skin in soothing circles. A shuddered breath begins to pass his lips, but he smothers it to ashes with the cool press of a kiss to your wrist. 

Humming amusedly at the feeling of his mustache tickling your skin, you lean your head on his shoulder, moving slightly as they lift with the intake of air into his lungs. “I suppose you’re right. I just feel bad that I haven’t spoken to you ‘bout it,” he tsk’s softly to himself, carefully navigating his brain for the right words. 

“I was fine out there, y’know? I’ve been doin’ better, Sharon’s helped a lot. But it just got so loud, and everything felt out of my control- out of any of our boys’ control and I- I just couldn’t breathe. Tunnel vision, boom, just like that.”

You whisper encouragements softly under your breath, murmurs of ‘it’s okay’ and ‘you can keep going’ pushing him gently in the right direction. Voices can be heard from the locker room, loud cheering and chanting from the team acting as muffled background noise for Ted’s moment of vulnerability. 

“After everything that happened with Nate, I learned to mask it a bit better I guess. That’s the fancy word Doc told me about,” the corner of his lips quirks up “I figured I’d be okay in here for a bit anyway, then you walked in.” Your brows furrow and you pull away from his shoulder, opening your mouth to apologize for intruding but he beats you to it.

“No, no, that sounded different than I meant. I am very glad that you found me here. I needed you even if I didn’t know it,” he traces the details of your face with his eyes, not stopping you when you move your head back down to his shoulder. 

“I think you’ve worked on it so much quicker than you realize, Ted. It wasn’t that long ago, yeah? Healing and improving takes time, and it’s okay that it takes time. I certainly took my time,” you muse, channeling your own therapist’s word. “But I think it’s right on par with who you are, who I know you to be, that you got on it as fast as you did. Even if it was begrudgingly at first.”

“Yeah, Doc definitely had her work cut out.”

You laugh, normally at first but then Ted snorts and you both lose it, bodies bumping against each other with the shakes that come with post-meltdown laughs. Soon enough you’re both wiping away tears of a different variety, the air in the room much lighter than before. You take that moment to push yourself up and off the floor, lending a hand to Ted to pull him up.

“I am immensely proud of you, Coach Lasso. So is the team. You have a very large family backing you up, as unorthodox as said family is.” You take one step closer, hand still holding onto his, pressed between your bodies. Taking your free hand, you hold the side of his face and lean in to kiss his cheek, thumb stroking his jaw. 

Ted presses into your lips, chasing your touch even when you turn to the door. Twisting the knob open you find Will standing there, boots tied by their laces hanging over his shoulder, hand outreached to grab the now absent handle. 

He blinks at the two of you for a second, gaze one of vague shock, before curling his lips in an embarrassed smile and stepping out of the way.

“Not a word, Will,” you sing-song when he opens his mouth, pulling Ted down the hall to stand outside of the locker room door. 

You can hear Roy in the middle of a somehow happy/angry sounding congratulation speech that only he is capable of, grinning and turning to face your Coach once more. “Now, get your butt in there and relish in the sweet taste of winning.”

“I mean, relish is pretty tasty-”

“Ted.”

“Yep,” Ted takes a deep breath and nods, squeezing your hand “you coming in with me?” 

“I don’t want to intrude on your moment, Coach.”

He rolls his eyes exaggeratedly and pushes the door open, dragging you with him. The boys’ faces light up, immediately rushing to storm him, all reaching to touch him and jumping up and down. Their team song buzzing and bouncing along with them.

“WE’RE RICHMOND TILL WE DIE, WE’RE RICHMOND TILL WE DIE, WE KNOW WE ARE, WE’RE SURE WE ARE, WE’RE RICHMOND TILL WE DIE”

You slide past the group, safely reaching Roy and Beard without your feet being stomped on. The smile on your face is one of pure joy and contentment, not faltering when Beard slides to your side, bumping your elbow. 

“Thanks,” he speaks, nodding towards Ted. It’s easy to know what he means immediately, always one to be of few words. 

“No need to thank me,” you reply easily, watching your family bond even more “it’s what we do.”

[addieisnotawriter]

Confessions to Getting Caught

Ted Lasso x fem!reader

i have no idea what this is, i found this in my drafts and thought ‘what the hell’ and wanted to share this mini drabble that i don’t even remember what i wrote in this lmao

—

"You're not leaving!" Ted slammed your office door open, startling you and Colin who was there for a session. You whipped your head towards him with a pissed off look on your face.

"Ted!" You hissed, pointing out that you're in a session.

"Oh hell, sorry." Ted just awkwardly stood there, embarrassed. He scratched the back of his head and then waved at Colin, apologizing to him.

"Go outside and give me five minutes to wrap things up." You muttered, shaking your head.

"Yep, gotcha. Sorry." Ted walks back out, shutting the door behind him as he left.

"Sorry 'bout that Colin. Where were we?" You apologized, giving a smile.

Colin went back to talking and you finished your session ten minutes later. Colin kept repeating his mantra as he left your office while a determined look on his face. You gave a stern look to Ted when you saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"I am so sorry. I didn't know you were in a session." Ted apologized again for the third time.

"Please knock next time." You replied, waving him into your office. He walks in and you shut your door behind you.

"So you heard?" You asked, walking up to him while crossing your arms together.

"Yeah I heard. Why didn't you tell me?" Ted was angry which surprised you. He's always so calm and happy.

"I was going to. But apparently it got around before I could tell you." You replied honestly and calmly.

"I won't let this happen! There's no way in hell you're leaving!" Ted yelled, throwing his hands in the air. He walks away from you, running his hands through his hair and down his face.

"Ted.." You spoke softly, "it was bound to happen. I was only hired to stay on till the end of the season. It's the end of the season, therefore there's no reason for me to stay on." You reasoned with him, hoping it'll calm him down a bit.

"I will talk to Rebecca, get her to hire you for another season!" Ted started pacing, "She'll say yes, she will definitely say knowing it's you. We can-" You cut him off and stopped him by putting your hands on his shoulders, turning him to face you.

"Why are you so hell bent on keeping me here?" You whispered, furrowing your brows at him.

"Because.. I don't want you to leave." He sighed, his eyes softening when he looks at you.

"Why? Ted, if this is about therapy, I can give you names of the best people I know around here to take over. You're going to be fine without me." You spoke softly, letting your hands fall to your sides.

"It's not that. It's.. I-I.." He trailed off, trying to find the words to admit his feelings. He never thought in a million years he would find someone who cared for him as much as you did.

Granted, you were his therapist and that's your job, but there was something different about your relationship with him. You were a friend to him and he wanted you to be more than that, even if it meant having to change therapists.

You ignited something in him that he hasn't felt in a long time, and he wanted more. He felt this way since the day of Rebecca's father's funeral. He just didn't realize those feelings until his conversation with the Diamond Dogs a few weeks after. Though they didn't know you were his therapist in which they said to tell you how he felt but he just played it off. He truly couldn't tell you how he felt because he didn't want to compromise anything. He liked how things were and didn't want anything to change. But now? Now, this was his last chance to say anything before you left.

"I like you. A lot. I have feelings that I probably shouldn't be having but I can't help it. I want you to stay because I can't imagine my life without you." He admits, releasing a heavy breath after.

You stood there stunned. You never thought in a million years he would say something like that to you. You had to admit, you had feelings for him for a long time. But, you played it off and stayed professional with Ted and sometimes friends. Close friends. Though you complained to Keeley and Rebecca that you liked him a lot but couldn't say anything. They never understood why you couldn't tell him because you never said anything about being his therapist. So, you just stayed quiet, and let things continue the way they were. Now things were different.

"Ted.." You whispered after realizing you were gaping and he started to get nervous.

"I know you're my therapist and this crosses a lot of lines between us. Now, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but I just wanted you to know how I felt. I'll leave you be." He puts his hands in his pockets again and starts to leave.

Before he could reach the door, you walked up to him and turned him around. You stared into his eyes then his lips and back up to his eyes before grabbing his shirt collar and pulled him into a kiss, your lips crashed into his, tickling against his mustache. He grunted lightly at the impact but didn't mind as he kissed you back, deepening the kiss as he did.

You pulled away, breathing heavily and looking down at the floor before looking back up at him, "I feel the same way and I can't imagine my life without you either. I don't want to leave at all because you're here." You whispered, your hands moving up to his face, your thumbs rubbing his cheeks lightly.

"Then don't. Please stay." His arms snaked your waist, pulling you in closer. He softly bumped his forehead into yours and closed his eyes, sighing as he did. You felt his hot breath against your lips, and wanted more right now.

"God, I need you so badly right now." You muttered, and he chuckled before pulling you into a hard kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he picks you up, letting you wrap your legs around his waist and he carried you to the couch. He softly places you down on the cushions, and laid on top, his right knee and elbows holding him up so he wasn't laying completely on top of you.

You continued to make out with him until you were suddenly interrupted by a door opening and a voice talking. You pulled away quickly to see Keeley there but she didn't see you and Ted yet as she was distracted by her phone.

"So, I decided to plan a going away party for you cause I thought why not and holy shit!" Keeley squealed when she finally looked up from her phone to see you and Ted on the couch together.

"Keeley!" You gaped, shocked to have gotten caught by your best friend. Ted gives a confused look after you pulled away then his eyes went wide when he heard you say Keeley's name, quickly turning to see her standing there.

"Hey Keeley!" Ted drawled on, giving an awkward smile when he looked up at her.

"You know what? I can come back! Keep doing what you're doing!" Keeley starts running out of your office, then comes running back in and leans on the door frame, "thank God you two weren't naked, yea? Could've been a lot worse." She giggled and left, shutting the door before she did.

"Knock next time!" You yelled out, sighing when you know she was possibly out of reach to hear you.

"That is embarrassing." You muttered, covering your face to hide the redness that was slowly growing.

"Hey like she said, it could've been a lot worse." Ted crawls off your body and gets up, grabbing your hands to pull you up off the couch.

You groaned that your moment got interrupted, but then you thought it was good it got interrupted. You didn't know where things could've gone if Keeley didn't walk in here.

It would’ve been amazing either way, you knew that for sure.

[jjsmaybank20]

Oh, Bartender!

Rebecca Welton x GN!Reader

Summary: You are an attractive bartender at Mae's pub. One night, Rebecca comes in and you hit it off. You drive her home, and the night ends in some... spicy ways.

Warnings: Smut (Minors DNI), Oral (Rebecca Receiving), Fingering (Rebecca Receiving)

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: for @wosoobsessed. Hope you like it! Sorry if you didn't want smut, I honestly did the first thing I thought of.

navigation ted lasso masterlist

Working in a pub wasn’t what you thought you would end up doing, but when a spot at Mae’s opened up, you jumped at the opportunity. Now, after having worked there for a couple of years, you couldn’t be happier.

As expected, you did have some trouble every once in a while, but you were quick to deal with it and damn good at kicking people to the curb when deserved. You also got a lot of action, with you being an attractive person in your twenties.

One day, a beautiful woman comes into the pub and orders a couple of drinks. You can’t help but flirt with her and she doesn’t stop herself from flirting back. You find out that her name is Rebecca, and that she owns AFC Richmond, the pub's favorite team.

After some time, you can see that Rebecca is pretty tipsy. She insists that she isn’t drunk, but you are concerned enough about her that you offer to drive her home. She accepts begrudgingly, and Mae gives you permission to leave early.

On the way to her house, Rebecca continues to flirt heavily with you, making you unnaturally flustered. When you arrive at her house, she gets out of the car and slowly walks up to her door before turning around and saying, “Well, aren’t you coming?”

You jump out of the car and run towards her as she leads you into her house. Almost as soon as the door is unlocked, she pushes you up against the wall and kisses you passionately. You quickly flip it around and tap her thighs, making her jump up into your arms.

Between kisses, she mumbles directions to her room, which you follow as best you can with the gorgeous woman in your arms. When you get into her room, you sit down on the bed and kick off your shoes. The two of you continue to make out.

She begins to rub herself against your thigh, hearing and feeling your breathing become heavier. Hers does the same thing, and she sighs repeatedly at the pleasure. You run your hands down to her ass, squeezing it and taking in what she is doing right now. “Do you want me to touch you?” You ask, questioning whether you should keep letting her pleasure herself or if you should take control. She shakes her head.

“Not yet, not yet. Oh god-,”She moans as she hits her spot just right on your thigh muscle, releasing a moan of pleasure. “I wanna come first,” She says. Little whimpers escape her mouth, taking her time yet longing for the release.

She can hear you hold back soft moans of your own. Slowly but surely, her legs started shaking more and more as she felt the knot in her stomach bubbling. She kept a steady pace, breathing getting heavier and her hips moving in circles, until finally- she came. It was intense and as she came down she clung onto your chest, closing her eyes.

“Shit,” you cursed, and she giggled.

You're looking at the ceiling, but then you look down at her and shake your head. You pull her up towards you so she’s hovering over your face. “How are you so fucking gorgeous?” you pulled her in and kissed her deeply, wanting more.

“Did it make you feel good rubbing against me?” You blurted out in between steamy kisses, and she moaned into your mouth. She was now straddling you, your hands cupping the sides of her face and your hips pushing against her pelvis.

“Y/N,” she breathed out as you started sitting up and moving the two of you back toward the wall.

“Shh, it’s okay. Let me take care of you,” you said as you pushed her hair behind her ear, then reached down to rub her clit softly with your middle finger. Her light moans were very heard as her head fell onto your shoulder.

“As much as I would love to fuck you in this, what do you say we take this off?” You hold the hem of her shirt, and she nods eagerly. “Yes, please take it off,” She breathes out with heavy eyes and reaches her hands up in the air while you slide it off and throw it on the floor. You pull back to kiss her tits around the skin and then sucks gently on her nipples.

You kiss her hard one last time before turning her over so that she’s lying on her back and you're on top of her. You lean down and place soft, wet kisses down her stomach before sitting up and taking your own shirt off, and she drools at the sight.

You take her pants off slowly, seeing a wet spot on her underwear. You made your way back down to her thighs, leaving traces of kisses down her stomach. You poked your finger underneath her panties for a moment to feel her bare skin, and she sucked in a breath at the feeling. You continued to circle her clit over the fabric as you leaned up to kiss her again.

Eventually, you gave in and pulled her panties off. The feeling of your bare hands on her clit and lips was enough to make her shake already, as you dragged your finger from the bottom of her core to the top of her clit, spreading whatever wetness was there previously. As much as she wanted to stare at you the entire time, her eyes couldn’t stay open. Her head tilted back as she let you do the work, settling into the bed and into your touch.

“Open your eyes. I want you to watch me make you feel good,” You said.

She groans as she forces her eyes open and looks down at you. You begin to place kisses on the inside of her thighs, moving in forward. You kiss her clit a few times before sucking it gently. “Y/N, I want your fingers in me, please,” She managed to say between heavy breaths.

You answer her request by taking your face away from her core and coming back up to meet her again.

“Okay…” You start and then bring your hand up to her mouth, “Open,” You demand with a sweet yet sinister face, and she closes her lips around your fingers. “Good,” You pull your hand away and head back down to her pussy.

You run your tongue over Rebecca a couple more times before playing with her entrance, eventually sticking one finger in. She can’t help but keep moaning your name. Then, you stick a second finger in, increasing her pleasure. The warmth of your other hand grazes over her stomach and up to her tits as you play with them lightly. Rebecca’s eyes are having trouble staying open again as her head falls back.. Eventually, you take notice and remove your mouth from her clit, coming up to look at her. As you lean over her with your fingers pausing their motion. She whines, but you relent.

“I thought I told you to open your eyes,” You pressed your palm against her clit, and she forced her eyes to open once again. Her mouth hangs open, and she can’t find any words to say. You smirk cockily before beginning the same motion again.

“You know you taste so good? Your lips and tits and pussy. Every part of you is better than anything I’ve ever fucking tasted in my life,” Your words strike Rebecca a certain way, and she feels another orgasm coming on. Her legs start shaking again, and as you keep your steady pace, she clutches onto your shoulder and her nails dig into your skin.

“That’s it, baby, it’s okay,” You reassured her. She feels the explosion inside her stomach and she calms down from her second orgasm of the night.

“Fuck, Y/N,” She breathes and you chuckle into her ear.

You roll off of her and head towards what you think is the bathroom. You wet a cloth and come back so that you can clean Rebecca up. As you carefully wipe up her thighs, she winces slightly at the overstimulation. When you discard the cloth into a bin, you begin to get dressed before Rebecca grabs your arm.

“Stay.”

You smile at her and take your shoes off again before climbing up next to her and letting her snuggle into you. You almost instantly fall asleep, dreaming of getting to know this wonderful woman better. Maybe next time you could take her out on a real date.

---

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[ccbb2222]

What a Woman Ted Lasso x Reader One Shot

Thanks to everyone who offered their opinion for which prompt I should write. I will try my best to tackle some of the other prompts soon! Summary: Reader sticks up for herself after a creepy dude keeps hitting on her at the club…and it’s the hottest thing Ted’s ever seen. (Reader/Ted Not yet dating) Warnings: Persistent creepy men, alcohol, SMUT...this might be the spiciest thing I've written yet!

Another Richmond win, another party to celebrate. You adjusted your black dress as you approached the club, the music pouring out onto the street as the bouncer opened the door for you. Immediately you were overwhelmed by the bass, the flashing lights and the crowd of sweaty bodies pressed up against each other.

You had butterflies in your stomach at the thought of interacting with Ted. The two of you had exchanged a few flirty conversations over the past month as you joined the Richmond squad as the new team dietician. Sure, you were 27 and he was in his early forties, but you had a thing for kind eyes and a warm smile. He had taken to you immediately after hearing your American accent, and used your common homeland as a way to form a bond.

You had also suspected he may feel a similar attraction to you, as he did tend to get flustered. You had caught him off guard one morning, when you showed up early to use the team gym before the work day started. Running on the treadmill, you worked up a sweat and, knowing it was earlier than anyone showed up to Nelson Road, you decided to take your shirt off. Running only in your leggings and sports bra, you hadn't noticed anyone greet you, since your headphones were on.

Slowing down to a walk, you startled when you saw Ted hovering by the doorway.

"Jesus!" You exclaimed, grabbing onto the side of the treadmill. "Oh, shoot! Sorry!" Ted said, quickly starting towards you, then taking in your half dressed state and halting in his tracks. "Didn't mean to startle ya, was just, uh, impressed by the pace you had goin'." He looks at you, then down to the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You laugh, hands now on your hips to catch your breath, "Thank you. I uh," You motion to yourself, "Apologize this is unprofessional...I just needed to blow off some steam before work and thought I was the only one here." "Oh, please don't apologize on my account," Ted waves his hand with a 'forget about it' motion, "I'll leave ya to it, uh sorry again for startling you." You smile and brush some hair behind your ear, "All good. See you at practice, Coach." Now, as you weaved your way through the crowd, you spotted the Richmond team and staff occupying the VIP section on the top floor of the club. "HEY BABES!" Keeley shouts out, one arm around Roy and the other waving excitedly toward you. You laugh as you climb the stairs and make your way over towards them. "Don't mind her," Roy's gruff voice says, a hint of a smile on his face, "This one hit the cocktails a little too hard before we left." "Oh shut it!" Keeley smacks Roy's arm playfully and he lets out a hearty laugh.

"God, I wish I hit the cocktails," You said looking around, "This place is a mad house. I feel like a grandma." "Give me a break," Keeley rolls her eyes at you, "You're one of the youngest ones here. Look at Rebecca for Christ's sake!" You, Roy and Keeley all turn at the same time to witness Rebecca toss back a shot, "Well, shit, I've got no excuse." You say with a laugh, "I'm gonna go try to grab a drink." "Need me to come?" Keeley asks, picking up her full cocktail. "Nah, I'm good, plus you've got a full one right there!" You reassure her. She nods and turns back to Roy as you start to make your way toward the bar.

You start to push your way through the crowd and look up to see Ted across the room, watching you with a small smile. You wave at him, and he smiles bigger and waves back. You make a drinking motion and point to the bar, to which he nods with a wink.

That wink. It sent a heatwave down to your core. Jesus, you really did have it bad.

You approach the bar and find a spot to squeeze in, hoping you'll grab the attention of the bartender soon.

"I haven't seen you before," A voice says, close to your ear. You turn to see a man around your age, tall, and handsome enough. "Oh uh, yeah this is my first time here," You say, not wanting to be impolite.

"Oh an American," He smirks, "Heard you girls were fun." You grimace, immediately not liking where this is going. You are able to wave down the bartender and order your drink quickly, not bothering to ask the man next to you if he wanted anything.

"What brings you to the lovely UK?" He persists, a hand reaching to land on your lower back. Annoyance begins to bubble from deep inside you. "I work for a football club," You say, not wanting to elaborate further.

"Richmond?" He guesses, "Lots of the players are here tonight." You nod, waiting patiently for your drink, "Yup." "What do you do?" He presses, hand still on your back. "I'm the team dietician." You answer shortly, not wanting to elaborate further, and you try to move forward to detach his grip from your body. "Ah, that checks out. Considering you're so fit. Bet you're a right distraction for the fellas. I know I'd have a hard time concentrating around you."

"Well, they're professionals so," You say sharply, not liking at all what he was insinuating. The bartender hands you your drink and quickly swipes your credit card. "It was nice talking to you," Your try to make a quick exit but there's suddenly a hand grabbing at your arm, causing you to spill your drink slightly.

"Hey baby, don't be like that, we're just getting started here," He says, smirking down at you. Ted POV: Ted smiled as you made your way to the bar, offering a wink. You looked so beautiful in your short, black dress that Ted had a hard time looking anywhere but in your direction.

"Coach," Beard approached, tapping his beer against Ted's. "Evening Coach," He replied sipping his beer.

Beard watched as Ted tracked you across the bar, "She looks pretty," He comments eyeing Ted.

"Hmm?" Ted asks distracted, "Oh," He realizes he's been caught staring and nods, "Yeah, uh, I suppose so." Beard rolls his eyes. "You know, Coach, while it's entertaining to watch this little game you've got going on, I think you'd feel a lot better if you just asked her out." Ted chokes on his beer, "Excuse me?" He asks after recovering. "Hey Roy?" Beard waves him over.

"What?" Roy asks gruffly, taking a sip of his beer. "Ted and a certain dietician..." Beard starts.

"You got the bollocks to ask her out or what?" Roy looks Ted square in the eye.

"Fellas come on now," Ted tries to deflect.

"All I know is, that guy doesn't seem to have a problem chatting her up," Beard points, "Although she doesn't look too pleased about it." He notes.

The VIP section was elevated over the rest of the club, allowing those in the section to overlook the club. From his vantage, Ted saw the unwanted advance of the strange man's hand on your back. He watched as you squirmed involuntarily. "Should I...uh, go down there?" He checks with Beard and Roy, who shrug in response. "I don't want her to think I'm tryna be a knight in shining armor or anything. I think she's got this," He says, nervously taking another sip of his beer. Your POV: "Actually, no, we're not just getting started," You finally snap at him, transferring your drink to your other hand and ripping your arm out of his grasp. "Hey, there's no need to be a bitch," He says, losing all of his earlier charm. "And there's no need to touch me." You reply starting to move past him.

He reaches this time for your waist and you're spun around quickly to face him again. "We're not done here." He says through gritted teeth. "Actually, we are." You say, kneeing him swiftly in the crotch. He keels over quickly, falling to the floor with a thud and a loud anguished moan. Ted's POV.

Ted, Roy, and Beard all kept a vigilant eye on you from above, unbeknownst to you. Ted watched anxiously as the man reached out to grab your arm, "Fellas, I don't like where this is going," He said to Beard and Roy, who both nod in agreement.

"Yeah this prick is getting too handsy." Roy says with a scowl. "I may need to go down there," Ted says. As soon as he observes the man grabbing you and spinning you to face him he makes up his mind, "Yeah, no. I'm going down there, he can’t grab her like that." Turning to quickly place his beer down, Beard grabs his arm, "Coach," he says nodding toward you.

Ted watches with his mouth open as he sees you swiftly lift up your knee and aim it directly into the man's crotch.

Beard and Roy let out a stunned laugh, and Ted smirks, taking a proud sip of his beer, "What a woman," he says shaking his head.

He always knew you were independent. In fact, it was one of the things he liked most about you. But watching you knee a man where it counts was hands down the hottest thing he had ever seen. Second, only, to you in your sports bra covered in sweat. That was an image he replayed in his mind time and time again as he laid in bed, fist held tightly around his cock.

He watched as you confidently stepped over the man, sipping your drink nonchalantly as you made your way back towards the staircase that led up to the VIP section.

Your POV: Sipping your drink, you ascend the stairs where you're immediately greeted by Ted.

"Hi, Ted." You smile at him, taking your straw in your mouth to sip your drink. You watch his eyes flick down to your lips wrapped around your straw and then back to your eyes, "I saw you made a friend down there," He jokes one hand in his pocket, the other wrapped around his beer.

"Oh him?" You point over your shoulder, "Yeah, we didn't hit it off so well." Ted laughs, smiling down at you, "I gotta say..." he shakes his head and then seems to think better of it.

"What's that?" You ask, a teasing smile on your face. "Never mind," He smirks and takes a playful sip of his beer.

"Oh come on," You playfully hit his shoulder, "You can't do that, it's not fair." He smiles, a blush forming on his cheeks, "Hey after seeing what you did to that guy, I'm afraid to cross any lines." You laugh but look up at him to see a nervous expression on his face. You swallow down your own anxiety, feeling suddenly bold. "Cross the line, Ted." You say softly, but loud enough for him to hear over the thumping music. His eyebrows raise, "Well," he said, clearly shocked by your response, "I was gonna say that it's quite...attractive seeing a woman stand up for herself." Your ears turn bright red as you look down at the ground. Biting your lip, you offer him a shy smile, "So that's what does it for you?" You tease. He laughs, an unbelieving expression on his face, "Hey now," he tries to back-peddle, but you don't let him.

"Wanna get some air?" You ask, "It's kind of overwhelming in here."

He nods immediately, "Oh yes, sure, let me just —" he turns quickly to place his beer on a spare table.

Turning to walk down the stairs you smirk as Keeley and Rebecca notice Ted following you, and eye you with gleeful looks. You shrug and wink in silent response and they absolutely eat it up.

Weaving through the crowd, you reach for Ted's hand and instantly feel a shock of electricity shoot up your arm. You turn to look at him and the look in his eye tells you he feels the same.

You finally make it to the back exit, spilling out into a deserted alleyway.

"God I thought we'd never make it out of there," You joke as you face him.

He looks down at you, his mouth lifting up at the corners, "Desperate to get me alone, huh?" He jokes. You look down at your heels, and tap them together nervously.

"Whatcha doin' down there, Dorothy?" He says softly, a joking tone to his voice.

"Trying to work up the courage to kiss you, I guess," You say, looking back up at him.

He smiles softly, his eyes lighting up. He steps towards you and your back hits the brick wall of the club, one of his hands pressing into the wall next to your head, and the other playing with your fingers. "Feeling brave yet?" He asks, leaning toward you.

You nod, meeting his eyes once more, and move to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his head down towards you. His lips meet yours urgently, and you're so enamored by this kiss that your knees start to get weak. You open your mouth, inviting his tongue in to tangle with yours, his hand moving to steady itself on your hip. With one hand still pressed against the wall, and the other holding you, you lean your hip forward to press against him.

He lets out a low moan at the action, and moves to kiss down your neck. "Baby," he whispers sucking lightly on your pulse point, "You tell me if this is too much, okay?" You nod against him, "It's not enough Ted," you whine reaching again for his face, and bringing your lips back to his. He pulls away after a few moments, leaning his head against yours, "As much as it pains me to say this," he laughs, "I think we should pause before we get arrested for indecency in an alleyway." You laugh and nod, "You know I'm a few blocks from here if you'd want to..." You trail off. "Absolutely." He nods, pushing off the wall and following your lead.

By the time you get to your apartment Ted is pressing you up against your door, kissing your neck as you fish around your clutch for your keys. "We'll never make it inside if you keep that up," You warn him.

He pulls away, nodding and lifting his hands in surrender “Fair enough." As soon as you unlock the door you're thrown inside by a very eager Ted who presses you back up against it on the other side. "You want this?" He checks, looking at you with sincerity.

"More than anything," You nod.

Ted's mouth raises at the corner and he kisses you once more before slowly removing the straps of your dress and pushing them down your shoulders. He pushes your dress down to the floor and you're left in your bra and panties, thankful as ever that you wore a matching lace set. He runs a hand through his hair, "Fuck, you're gorgeous." It's the first time you've heard him swear, and it stirred something in you. He notices the look in your eyes and returns to kissing your neck, moving down over your breasts and down your sternum. "Put your leg on my shoulder, darlin'," he says kneeling before you.

Seeing him on his knees was a sight you'd never get over. Carefully placing your leg over his shoulder, he moves forward, breathing over your center.

"I can't wait to taste you," He says, stroking your inner thigh, "Bet it's everything I've ever dreamed of." Your eyes roll back as you feel him move your panties to the side and slowly lick up your folds. "Fuck, Ted," You whine as he starts to suck on your clit. His other hand is running up and down the shaking leg you stand on.

"God, you taste so good," He mutters against your heat and you involuntarily buck against his mouth.

"S-sorry," you stutter bracing yourself against the door. "Go on, baby, I don't mind." He says reaching to move your hips over his mouth, "Do what makes you feel good,"

You begin to ride his face, feeling his mustache tickle your sensitive skin and his nose bump over your clit. "I'm so close," You say, moving your hips faster over him until you hit your peak. You’re not positive what you said as you came, but it was likely a mix of his name and expletives. He kisses up your thigh and then slowly lowers your leg off of his shoulder and on to the floor. He rises to stand and you see him discretely wipe his mouth on his rolled up sleeve. "You're so beautiful when you come," He says, brushing a strand of your hair off of your face, "Really lucky to be able to see you like that." Smiling, you reach for him, giving him a slow searing kiss, the taste of yourself now on your tongue. His words are cloaked in a certain shyness, and you’re absolutely taken by his humbled nature. Surely he had to know how good he was at that. “You’re the only one I want to see me like that,” you whisper. Unable to bring yourself to look at him after that confession, you guide him towards your bedroom, laying down on the bed then motioning for him to join you.

Ted wastes no time pulling off his sweater and quickly unbuttoning his shirt. "Let me help," You say, kneeling and scooting over to the edge of the bed, reaching for his belt buckle. You pull it loose, unlatching it from its notch and unbutton his pants. Once the button pops open, you reach in to pull his boxers down with his pants, looking up at him with a surprised but satisfied looked when you realize how big he really is. Looking down at you, Ted gives you a soft smile which slowly morphs into absolute bliss when you take him expertly in your mouth.

Moving your head up and down, you move your hands to massage his balls and you can see his hands twitching at his sides. "Fuck, baby," He says reaching to pull you off of him, "As much as you're killin' me, I wanna be inside you." You pull away and reach for him, pulling him down to your level and kissing him hard. Ted's hands reach to remove the clasp of your bra and you soon feel his mouth wrap around one of your nipples. You lean back, laying across your pillows as he continues sucking your other nipple. Reaching his hands down he removes your panties quickly, throwing them off the bed, and moving to straddle your legs. "I wanna make sure you still want this," He says once he's pulled away from your chest. "You don't owe me anything, we can stop right now if that's what you wanna do." He's so sincere, clearly turned on, yet still checking in with you.

"Please Ted," You reassure him, reaching up to touch his shoulder, "I want you so bad." He nods, wasting no time sinking into you as you both let out a relieved groan. You feel him slowly sink deeper into you, as you stretch to accommodate his size. "Move, Ted, please," You beg, wrapping your legs around his hips. Ted thrusts quickly, burying his head between your neck and shoulder. "Can't tell you how long I've thought about this," he confesses, kissing your neck. "I've wanted you for so long." His confession mixed with the way he was hitting deep inside you made you let out a strangled gasp. "Oh god, just like that," You praise him, lifting your hips to meet with his thrusts. "Please don't stop," you beg pulling his face from your neck to look into his eyes. "Ted," "What do you need, baby?" He asks, not slowing his pace, his hand coming to rest on your cheek. "I want you to take me from behind, please," You whisper. He nods, pulling out of you and waiting for you to turn over. Looking at him from over your shoulder you watch his eyes squeeze shut in pleasure as he pushes into you once more. His pace, combined with the sound of your thighs smacking against his was enough to make your stomach knot all over again. "I'm close, Ted, I'm going to come," "Come for me, let go baby," He says, head thrown back as he continues to thrust into you. You press your head into your pillow to mute your noises as you come, quite loudly, your muscles spasming around him.

In a matter of moments, Ted let out a loud groan, stilling after a few final thrusts and whispering your name. You roll over, laying on your back and looking over at him. He's still kneeling and letting out a breath. "You damn near killed me," He says with a smile, leaning over to kiss you once more before collapsing on his stomach next to you.

"I could say the same," You laugh, turning to face him and running a hand over his back. "I guess now would be the time to admit that I have a huge fucking crush on you..." "Is that so, darlin'?" He looks at you with a grin, "I'm shocked you find an old man like me so attractive." "Not old," You shake your head playfully, "Experienced." Ted lets out a loud laugh before rolling you over on your back once more. "You better watch it," he warns eyes warm and bright.

"Or what?" You taunt, lifting your chin up in a challenge.

"I won't share any of this experience with you," he says nuzzling into your neck.

You laugh as his mustache tickles the skin by your pulse point. "Fair enough," you concede.

"You gonna kick me out now?" He asks pulling away from your neck. You can tell he's half joking.

As the post orgasm bliss slowly faded away the two of you slowly realized the new reality of your dynamic.

"Hmmm," You pretend to think, "I think I'll let you stay...on one condition." "What's that now?" He smiles, hair falling into his eyes.

"We get to do that again."

[carmylasso]

babes imagine henry getting angry with ted and giving him the silent treatment and only talking to you 🤭

poor ted would be so sad and you’d have to talk to henry about how that’s not the right way to handle things but also ted would be so happy henry has someone else he can confide in & go to

AN: this might be a bit more angsty than expected, but i think it's still very sweet (michelle lasso, can you fight?) thanks for the request, cal!

at first you’re pretty sure its gonna blow over in a matter of hours: in the couple of years you’ve known those two, they have never been able to stay mad at each other. when it doesn’t, you become torn between how much you love the extra cuddles (for a 7yo, henry lasso is notoriously sweet, but he has so much energy that he finds it hard to stay put for too long, just like someone else you know) and the way it breaks your heart to see ted mopping around the house while henry stops himself on his tracks whenever he wants to suggest something the two of them usually enjoy together

these two are simply not cut out to be away, which is why you avoid talking about michelle: it makes no sense to you how someone could fall out of love with ted lasso, but it makes you furious to think about that first year she practically forced them apart…but that’s a line you shouldn’t cross, and you know it.

“he’s down?” its day 3 of whatever brought this on, and ted’s too tired to act like he doesn’t miss his boy terribly.

“out like a light” you whisper, climbing into bed to wrap your arms around him from where your boyfriend sits by the edge, caressing his chest as you lay a kiss to the back of his neck “I know I shouldn’t ask, but is everything okay back in kansas?” they weren’t like this when you went out with a friend sunday afternoon, before the weekly scheduled facetime meeting with the two and michelle. if something happened…

“michelle’s had something come up at work so she’ll need him to go there a week earlier” you heard what he wasn’t saying, that your boyfriend had said it was okay practically before she asked, no matter what he thought on the matter. you also knew henry could tell when something hurt his dad’s feelings and that he hated it almost as much as you. “he’s not happy i told her i’d see about moving his plane tickets”

“i’m sorry, darling. that explains things, he’s sad about…”

“he’s mad at me, honey” his voice is quiet when he interrupts, bringing your joined fingers up so he can kiss your knuckles. “he doesn’t wanna go”

“what if you went with him, ted?” his boy doesn’t like change, that much you have been around long enough to be sure of. there’s a not so tiny part of you that doesn’t want them both gone at the same time, but you’re an adult. you can take a few weeks away, right? if you can’t, they never have to know; “just for a few days?”

“baby…that won’t fix things. henry doesn’t wanna go to kansas early cause if he does, he’s gonna miss your birthday” you’re still processing what he said when he moves the both of you so you're straddling him, thumb brushing your bottom lip “he’s been planning a surprise party for months now. we know you don’t like to make a fuss, don’t worry ‘bout that. it’s just gonna be a few friends for dinner but he’s taken charge of everyone”

“ ted, that’s so fucking sweet” you’re doing your best not to cry with every new word that comes out of his mouth, both of your focuses changing when you hear quick steps coming down the hall, halting at your half closed door “hen?” ted doesn’t fight it when you climb off him, turning to face the little blondie on the threshold

“mum, i don’t feel good” your body freezes for a second before the pain in the kid’s voice pulls you out and forces you to focus on the sweat coating his body and the barely conceived tears that fall the moment henry crashes into you, face smushed onto your stomach “hurts”

“is it your tummy, bub?” he’s hot under the fingertips you run up and down his back, clinging to you like he thinks you’re about to be taken away, the way he called you making your heart leap where it beats against your chest

“don’t know” henry doesn’t even fight his father when the man picks him up, checking for his temperature and shaking his head, the worry lines between his brows getting deeper when he buries further into his warmth. theodore, does, however manage to keep a calm facade, meanwhile your head is going in a million directions at once: should you get him in a bath? find an extra blanket? a driver that can take you to A&E? he’s hurting and all of a sudden you’re hurting too…surely his real mother would know what do, no matter how you feel about her, she wouldn’t just stand there while he cries..

“where’d you go, honey?” ted is looking at you like he knows what you’re thinking. he probably does, has been able to pretty much from the day you met. when he looks at you, he is always watching, after all

“sorry! sorry, what can i do? do we still have ibuprofen downstairs? i will go check for it”

“no, let me. here, you two climb in” he pulls the bedding out of the way as he speaks, gently laying henry on his pillow. “breathe, sweetheart, it’s just a fever. it’ll come down soon enough” you feel stupid and lost but you let him wrap you in his arms for a moment.

“you should stay with him, ted”

“i’ll be back in a sec, my love”

“but what if he needs to…”

“he needs his mama right now, that’s it” his tone is final. it settles you. you can panic later, you decide. now, you lay as still as you can, trying not to disturb, only for henry to climb half on top of you before his dad can even get to the hall. you let him. after all, for you, the lasso boys and what they need always come first.

especially when what they seem to need the most is just you.

[tedskhakis]

just an excuse to write about kissing ted <3 warnings/content: kissing, making out, getting together, cute stuff n fluff :)) ted lasso x gender neutral reader [i did write it with a male reader in mind but it can be read as gn too!!] word count: 2.6k also on ao3

messy hair

It was lunchtime at Richmond and you found yourself in front of your boss’ office, staring at the wooden door with a growing pit in your stomach. It’d been an odd day, one that you couldn’t wait to get over with, and being requested in your boss’ office for no apparent reason was not making it any better. You finally gathered up the courage to knock on the door and a voice drifted through the door, inviting you in.

“Oh, there you are,” Rebecca smiled from the couch as you opened the door and popped your head around the corner. Keeley sat beside her and she sent you a sweet smile before drinking from a small cup that clattered against the plate it was paired with. “Do come in, close the door behind you. Come, sit. There we go.”

You perched yourself on the edge of the couch, leaving some space between the three of you. “Am I in trouble or something?”

Rebecca gave you a confused smile as she leaned forward to place an empty plate on the table before raising her hands in defence and letting them drop back into her lap. “No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t really get invited up here a lot. Not like Ted does. Can’t help but be a little worried.”

“Ted usually invites himself, really. Barges on up here like he owns the place.” 

Keeley took a bite from a biscuit as she nodded, “God, these are so good. And yeah, he does do that.”

“He really does,” Rebecca sighed before giving you another smile. “No. You’re not in trouble, don’t worry. Just wanted to see how you are, really.”

“You… want to see how I am?”

“Yes. How are you doing today?”

You knitted your eyebrows together as you looked between them. Rebecca smiled patiently at you as Keeley stuffed another biscuit into her mouth. “I’m good. How are you doing?”

“You’re doing good? Are you sure?”

“Yes?”

Keeley shook her head, “You don’t seem so sure.”

“Am I missing something here?” You asked. “I’m confused.”

“You’ve just been out of it, is all,” Rebecca clarified. “We’ve been watching you on the pitch from here the past hour and you just seem different today. More reserved. Did something happen?” 

“No,” you lied. “Nothing happened, I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to bottle things up, Coach Y/L/N. I’ve noticed you have a tendency to do that.”

They were right, you knew it. But even if you wanted to tell them what happened, you couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair, for you or for Ted. You couldn’t just tell your boss that your co-worker (correction: best friend, the one that made you laugh no matter what, the man you were madly in love with and wished to be with every second of every day) tried to kiss you the night before and you totally freaked out and ruined the whole thing, leaving both of you distant and confused. No, you couldn’t tell her that.

“I’m fine, promise.”

Rebecca opened her mouth to reply but the door swung open and in walked Ted, a grin on his face and a little pink box in his hand. Keeley jumped up in joy at the sight of him, grabbing the box from his hand before he even had time to speak. “Told you,” Rebecca whispered to you with a smile. “He invites himself.” You tried to smile back but it turned into a grimace and she glanced between the two of you with a tilt of her head. “Ted,” she said, louder this time. “What brings you here at this hour?”

“Just wanted to see the boss and her little friend here. Didn’t know Coach was gon’ be here too, though. What a pleasant surprise,” he said with a grin, but the usual shine in his eyes had been erased and his happiness felt forced. It’d been like that the whole day, the two of you remaining civil yet not talking about what happened. “Anyways, I was lookin’ through my backpack and found an extra box of biscuits all tucked neatly away as if I’d forgotten to give them to you this mornin’. Scared me for a moment or two but then I realised I’d stress-baked last night and made… well, I won’t give you that number. Best to keep that mess a secret. But these ones were packed and ready to be eaten, so here you are.” He glanced at Keeley who had already eaten one and was reaching for another without any shame. “Glad someone’s enjoying them.”

Keeley offered you the box, “Do you want one, Y/N?”

“Nah,” you replied with a shake of your head. “Not hungry.”

“Have you ever tried one of Coach Lasso’s wonderful biscuits?” Rebecca asked and you shook your head. “Oh, please do try one. They’re incredible, you’re really missing out.” 

Keeley offered you the box again and this time you gently took one out, aware that Ted was watching you like a hawk. You avoided his eye and took a bite, fighting back the urge to make an embarrassing noise at the taste. They were good. Like, really good. The best you’d ever eaten, you realised as you took another bite.

“So,” Ted said, “you like it? Ain’t too much on your lil taste buds there?”

“It’s perfect,” you replied, giving him a weak smile. “Tastes really good.”

Ted’s face dropped slightly and he looked around the room before gesturing toward the door, an awkward smile sliding onto his face. “Hey, uh, Coach. Can I talk to you for a quick mo’?” 

You nodded, rubbing your hands together nervously as you stood. “Yeah, ‘course.” He began to walk to the door and you smiled politely at the girls as you followed. “I’ll see you later, yeah? Thanks for checking in on me and all.”

“You better come straight back, you hear me?” Keeley smiled. “We have so much to talk about.”

“Do we?” 

Rebecca smiled, glancing between you and Ted with a curious look in her eye. “We do.”

You nodded and gave them a wave as you left, closing the door behind you and giving Ted a tight smile. He looked anxious, bless him, and you wanted to comfort him but you felt just as anxious and confused. “So…” You started, trailing off and letting the word hang in the air.

“This isn’t private enough,” Ted said before walking down the stairs, down the long stretch of hallway, around a corner, around another, and into the public men’s bathroom. You followed him every step of the way, a pit settling deep in your stomach. “Here we go.”

“You wanna talk to me… in the men’s bathroom?”

Ted scrunched his face up, leaning against one of the sinks closest to the door. “I admit it’s not the most sanitary place I coulda found but I figured it was the best bet.”

“Best bet for what?”

“To talk about what happened last night.”

You sighed, dropping your gaze to the dirty tile beside his left foot. “Ted–”

“I’m sorry, alright? I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was stupid, reckless, and I don’t know what came over me.” He took a deep breath, his hand running over the white porcelain on the sink nervously. “It was a silly mistake on my part and I’m really sorry. I hope I didn’t mess up the friendship we’ve managed to build up too much.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you managed to catch his eye. “A mistake?” 

“...Yeah. A mistake.”

“Oh.”

Ted’s face changed and he looked guilty. His body jerked forward as if he were taking a step toward you but he fought against it. “Did you…” he started, voice quiet and drifting off on its own accord. He cleared his throat. “Did you not think it was a mistake?”

“No,” you whispered before you could stop yourself. “It was just weird timing.”

“Weird timing?” He asked, tilting his head. Realisation dawned on him and he gaped at you. “Does that mean you, you wanted me to… to kiss you?”

You nodded, eyes stuck once again on the tile beside his foot. He took a step toward you, and then another one, and your eyes flickered over the tiles until you were looking back into his eyes. He was inches away, head tilted down to look at you in a way that made you feel smaller than you were. It wasn’t particularly a bad feeling but it did make your skin prickle and your face flush. 

“Can I kiss you again? Or is this weird timing, too?” 

His voice was low, hushed. 

You gave him a small anxious smile, falling even harder for him as he stared down at you with wide nervous eyes. “It’s more of a weird environment than anything.”

“Is that a… I can’t figure out your answer from that.”

“It’s a yes, Ted.”

His lips were on yours immediately, a gentle hand reaching up to cup your cheek as his other slid over your lower back. You gasped into his mouth but wasted no time in grabbing him by his hips and tugging him closer, tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss. Your tongue slid easily against his and Ted tightened his grip, shifting around so that both of his hands were holding your face as if you might break and he was pressing you against the wall.

“Holy smokes,” Ted whispered against your lips when he pulled back. “That was…”

“Much better than yesterday,” you finished for him with a laugh.

“Yeah, much better than yesterday,” he sighed, pressing another kiss against your lips, this one more gentle. He then pressed another kiss against your lips. And another. And then another. It got more desperate as he went and soon enough you couldn’t pull away from each other again. 

“Ted,” you mumbled against his lips, “we’re in a public bathroom.”

He hummed against your lips. “That we are.”

“Anyone could walk in.”

“That they could.” Before you could say anything else, Ted pulled away from you and took your hand in his, leading you into the closest cubicle and locking the door behind you. He smiled at you as his hands dropped to your waist, pulling you close and dropping a kiss on your cheek. “Now no one will see us.” He pressed another kiss to your cheek, this time lower, and then one to your jaw. Then one below your jaw, before nipping at your neck with a cheeky smirk. “Better?”

You let out a laugh of disbelief as your hand slid up over his back and tangled into his hair. “Ted, we’re at work.”

“So? What we do on our breaks isn’t anyone's business, ya see?” As if to prove his point, he lightly bit down on the sensitive part of your neck. “No one will know.”

His lips dropped lower down, a hand coming up to shift away the collar of your shirt so that he could explore uncharted territory. You let out a half-grunt half-moan as he bit down over your collarbone, harder than the last. Ted’s smirk grew into a grin and you couldn’t help but laugh, giving him a gentle tap across his shoulder as you pushed him away.

“Don’t get all cocky about this now,” you scolded, even when you tugged him back toward you by the dishevelled collar of his shirt to kiss him with the power of a thousand suns. 

“Can’t help it,” he mumbled between kisses. “Can’t believe this is really happening.”

“Is this how you wanted yesterday to go?” You asked, becoming serious for a moment as you locked eyes with him. He nodded and you pouted slightly. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did.”

“It’s okay, truly. I’m just glad we got this now.”

“Me too.”

He released your face momentarily to check his watch and he groaned. “Six minutes until breaks over.”

“Takes me about a minute to get to the office from here, so we actually got five minutes left.”

“Four minutes if you take off the time needed to clean ourselves up.”

“Right,” you nodded, pressing your lips against his again before pulling back abruptly. “Shit, I still gotta go back to talk to the Boss. That needs about a minute or two.”

“So two minutes left,” Ted replied.

“About a minute and a half now,” you corrected.

He nodded against you seriously, as if this was life or death, before capturing your lips again and kissing you as if it were the last time he ever could. The next minute and a half was the best minute and a half you’d ever had. Ted’s hands were all over you: teasing at your waist, sliding over your back, burying themselves into your already-mused hair, lightly holding you by the neck. You couldn’t keep your hands off him either, alternating between resting your palms against his sturdy chest and tangling them into his soft brown locks.

Pulling back with a gasp, you grabbed Ted’s arm and checked his watch, cursing at the time. “We’re gonna be late.”

“Huh?” Ted asked, breathless. He moved his arm so he could see the watch himself and his eyes turned comically wide. “Shoot. You don’t wanna ditch Rebecca, she won’t like that. You gotta go now. I’ll stay here for another mo, make it look less suspicious.”

You reached around him to unlock the door as you pressed another kiss to his lips, this one softer and more intimate. It felt less like you were trying to keep the new-found romance a secret and more like you were allowing yourself this moment of peace before you were thrown back into work. He smiled against you, his moustache tickling your nose, and you smiled back before pulling away and closing the cubicle door behind you.

You only had a moment to glance at yourself in the mirror and you wished you hadn’t. The image was burned into your brain as you rushed up to Rebecca’s office–your hair was all over the place, messier than usual and definitely noticeable, and your lips were bright red, bruised, and looked in dire need of some chapstick. You smiled at people as they walked by, confused double-takes following you as you walked, before stopping in front of Rebecca’s office. You couldn’t stay long, not if you wanted to get back onto the pitch as soon as possible, but you knew she’d appreciate the effort of you stopping by,

Clearing your throat and straightening your back, you opened the door with a calm smile. Rebecca and Keeley were still sitting on the couch, both holding empty plates in their hands, and at the sight of you their jaws dropped. You couldn’t help but laugh at their expressions, knowing full well what it must look like, and you closed the door behind you.

“You– Wh– Ted–” Keeley started, eyes wide. “Wait… Ted?!”

You shrugged, a cocky grin sliding onto your face. “Ted.”

Rebecca choked on nothing. “That wasn’t on my bingo card for this year.”

Keeley turned to her with a raised eyebrow. “You have a bingo card for the year?”

“Yes. Don’t you?”

“No, but I do now. And this would have definitely been on it if it was made exactly 30 seconds before now.”

You laughed along before looking down at the pitch, seeing the boys were already filing onto the pitch. Ted trailed behind them and you could see his hair stuck up at every angle–clearly, he hadn’t made an attempt to tidy himself up and instead embraced it. You smiled at the girls again, the two of them giving you cheeky knowing smiles, before asking: “I’m assuming one of you has a hairbrush I can borrow?”

[highttowers]

@whimsical-roasting no, cause ted doesn’t even KNOW how pussy drunk he is for you. mich*lle never asked for any of that stuff, he barely knows it’s a thing until sassy. and then he meets you, and you’re just so sweet and lovely, ted barely has any dirty thoughts about you. all he wants are hugs n kisses, and then all of a sudden you’re making out, and he asks if he can go down and you and when he DOES??!??!? he’s seeing stars, you’re practically ascending, he’s just so good at it. when all is said and done, his mustache is soaked, and he’s grinning up at you, asking if he did good. and every single praise that leaves your mouth goes straight to his cock.

[thisismysecondrodeo]

that swop gifset got me thinking....ted punching someone to defend his love??? we need your take on that pretty please??? and they being the only one that gets him to take a step back??? so beard is like....wait...you're down bad, my friend.

AN: An excuse to watch clips of SWOP again? An excuse to dream of Jason Sudeikis saying “that’s for my girl!”? An excuse to pine over the perfect man that is fictional Ted Lasso? Done, done, and done-er.

Rating: Teen

Tags: Roy Kent/Keeley Jones (background), Coach Beard/Ms. Bowen (background), One Shot, Sleeping with Other People themed, light Violence but with Romantic Intention, Referenced Emotional Abuse, Getting Together

Fic masterlist

-

No one was more surprised than you at how quickly you’d opened up to Ted Lasso. When you took a job at AFC Richmond you certainly thought it would be a job like any other. Nice people and a cool venue, maybe, but a job nonetheless. You did what was needed and you went home and hung out with your real friends, not your work friends. 

But Ted didn’t seem to distinguish between work friend and real friend, and he convinced you time and time again to join him and the coaching staff for a drink or dinner or karaoke, and you started to return the favor inviting him out to your own favorite haunts for coffee or lunch or window shopping. It only took a few weeks of Roy and Beard saying, “maybe next time,” until the default was just you and Ted. You and Ted going to the movies, you and Ted eating ice cream and talking about your families, you and Ted going for a walk on the green and discussing past relationships. You and Ted on his couch making your way through a Rom Com Competition Bracket.

But they weren’t dates. At least, neither of you had ever said they were dates. 

One Saturday in particular, Ted invited you out to a new bookstore/wine bar that had opened across town, and the two of you ran into Keeley. She was scoping out the venue for an event for a client and practically flung herself into Ted's arms. Ted saw it coming and stood up from where he sat in order to brace himself before returning to his seat with a grin.

“Babe,” she squealed when she saw you, “I can’t believe I’ve been THIS out of the loop, exactly how long have you two been shagging?!” 

Your cheeks warmed immediately and you wished she was using her inside voice but you weren’t sure she had one. You looked over at Ted and tried to see what Keeley was seeing: 

tiny table (there were bigger options but Ted picked this one because it was near a window)

both of you on one side so you could read the same book (Ted holding it open while you turned the pages)

two glasses of wine (you had gotten a sangria and he had gotten a white wine, but you didn’t like yours and he happily traded) 

a shared stack of books in between you (the two of you picked out books that you both wanted to read so you could pass them back and forth)

So, yeah, it certainly looked like something was going on. You had paused so long Ted thought you were floundering and he responded for you. “Oh, Y/N and I, we’re not—”

“I’m meeting Roy for dinner at the Crown & Anchor in a couple hours, you two should come! Double-date!!” Keeley hadn’t heard a word and was looking down at her phone so she also wasn’t picking up on the visual cues that something was amiss. You and Ted looked at each other and you shrugged with a small smile, “yeah, sure. We’ll come to dinner.” 

Keeley was out the door with a squeal and cheek kisses for you both and you laughed at the whole situation. 

“Sorry, Ted, I probably should have done more to correct that.” 

“No, no,” Ted waved a hand and smiled, “I’m certainly not upset bein’ mistaken for someone that could be datin’ you.” 

Your jaw dropped slightly at Ted’s sentiment. The two of you were flirty sure, but that was as direct as he’d ever been that he might be interested in something more than friendship. 

“Should we chug this chapter and read these drinks and head that way,” Ted joked, either oblivious to your emotional turmoil or changing the subject for his own benefit. You laughed and nodded, picking up your glass and turning the page. 

Roy and Keeley were already at the Crown & Anchor when you and Ted arrived, chatting with Beard who you didn’t expect but you were happy to see all the same. 

“Five of us then,” you asked as you walked over to the group, Ted just behind you, a polite hand on your lower back. 

“Ah, six actually,” Beard said with a sheepish look that was unlike him. 

You looked at him quizzically but it was Roy who explained, “Seems like everyone’s in a surprising fuckin’ secret relationship. Beard and Phoebe’s fuckin’ teacher, you and Ted...” 

Beard quirked his eyebrow at ‘you and Ted’, but you shook your head, “Misunderstanding, we’re just friends.” 

“No fuckin’ way,” Keeley and Roy responded in unison, and then gave each other a cheeky smile. Ted said nothing, just lead the group over to a six-top as Ms. Bowen joined from the bathroom, a pint already in hand. 

“I was just at the bar, and that bloke over there is a right arse,” Ms. Bowen clucked her tongue, teacherly even on her night off. “He’s already sloshed and it’s barely 6:30.” 

“Did he say something to you?” Beard immediately made like he was going to stand up, but Ms. Bowen stopped him with a hand to the arm and a kiss to the cheek. 

“S’fine darling, just annoying,” she replied and Ted craned his neck.

“He looks annoying,” Ted responded, and you looked too and gasped. 

“Oh fuck,” you whispered and Ted looked at you immediately. The rest of the group got on with their conversation, so you felt comfortable leaning into him and to privately say, “that’s Ben.” 

“Ben…,” Ted looked at you confused, and then his eyes widened, “BEN, Ben?”

You nodded emphatically. Ben was your ex-boyfriend and your last relationship. You and Ted had spoken about him extensively. The ways he had manipulated you, the reasons you stayed with him for so long and how much you regretted it now. Ted, more than anyone else knew the emotional toll the man at the bar had taken on you. 

“Do you.. Do you want me to go talk to him,” Ted whispered and you could see a vein in his forehead flexing. 

“No, no, I would much rather have a good time,” you patted Ted’s hand in a way you meant to be reassuring, but you realized your own hand was shaking. You weren’t scared of Ben, he’d never harmed you, but you were embarrassed and anxious that you’d have to deal with him in front of your friends. 

You managed to ignore Ben’s presence even as he antagonized people at the bar and made a ruckus by the dart board. Keeley and Roy begged off first after dinner, having to go pick up Phoebe from Roy’s sister’s. You, Ted, Beard and Ms. Bowen could have moved around now that there were fewer people at the table, but you chose to stay tucked into Ted’s side and he didn’t seem to mind. 

“One last pint,” you asked Ted and he agreed, so you stood and he made to follow you. “No, it's okay, I’ll grab them on my way back from the bathroom.” 

It had quieted at the bar, so you had truly forgotten that Ben was even there, but as you stopped and asked Mae for two more pints you knew it was him who had sidled up behind you. Sure, you and Ted flirted, but he would never grab you by the hip like that, quick and aggressive. 

“Loveyyy,” Ben droned low in your ear, “One of those for me, yeah?” 

“Fuck off, Ben,” you responded quietly, accepting the pints from Mae and making to return to the table. 

“Ben, you know you’re cut off and if you keep acting an arse in my bar, I’ll have to ask you to leave," Mae said sternly. Ben held up his hands in a gesture of innocence but as soon as you took a step he blocked your path. 

You sighed, “Ben, seriously? I don’t want to nor do I have to play your silly games. Pardon me.” You stepped to the side and so did Ben. He loomed over you and was just drunk enough that although he’d never hurt you before, you couldn’t quite trust his intentions. 

Ted appeared at your elbow, his hands in the pockets of his khakis. You knew because you always checked his hands first when things were tense. He was looking only at you, not Ben. 

“Need a hand, I can grab one of those,” Ted offered and you handed him one of the pints with a smile. He stepped back so you could walk in front of him and he could keep Ben away from you, but Ben wouldn’t be put off so easily. 

“Oh, what not even going to ask after me mate,” Ben asked aggressively, shoulder checking Ted so his beer sloshed to the already sticky floor. 

Ted chuckled but it was a humorless sound. You quickly sat your beer on the table with Beard and Ms. Bowen who were so lost in each other they hadn’t noticed anything going on. You hurried back to Ben and Ted to try to keep the peace. 

“Ah, no need to ask after you,” Ted responded, “I  know who ya are. And we ain’t mates.” 

“You’re shaggin’ this old man now, Y/N? Best you could do after me?” 

You rolled your eyes, expecting Ted to shake his head and walk away but you were surprised when he sat his beer down and shook his hands out before putting them back in his pockets, the vein in his forehead flexing again. You’d never seen him so agitated. You picked up Ted’s beer, and pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and into your own, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles. It seemed you were getting through to him because he looked at you and this time his small smile seemed genuine. 

He turned to follow you, his hand firmly in yours but then Ben pressed a rough hand into his shoulder. “I bet she’s blowing your fuckin’ mind, isn’t she mate? Does she do that thing with her tongue? She’s always been such a little sl—”

Ben was cut off by Ted’s fist hitting the side of his chin, and he went down, hard. Ted had pulled himself from your grasp in order to hit him and now he stood over him, chest heaving with rage, the bar silent around you.

“Oh fuck,” you gasped and Beard was near you in an instant, pulling you away in case things escalated, but Ben just sat up and didn’t move to continue the fight. Ted grabbed him by the collar of his shirt anyway. “You didn’t deserve her, ya hear me,” Ted said quietly. 

“It’s okay Ted, s’alright,” you called to him, and Beard tugged him away, giving Mae an apologetic wave and hustling all of you outside. As soon as the cold air hit, Ted turned remorseful. 

“Ah jeez, I’m sorry,” Ted said looking down at his feet as he walked next to Beard, you and Ms. Bowen behind. 

“Don’t need to apologize to me,” Beard grunted. “But I also don’t think you and Y/N are much of a 'misunderstanding'. We’ve been friends for many years and I’ve made many enemies, and I’ve never seen ya like that.” 

“Well, Beardo, you can defend yourself…” 

“Sure. Rupert’s still unpunched though. He just got a game of darts.” 

Ted chuckled and Beard patted him on the back reaching for Ms. Bowen’s hand to lead her away from the pub. “Just talk to her.” 

You walked up behind Ted, looping your arm through his as Beard and Ms. Bowen disappeared into the night, having heard none of their quiet conversation. The two of you started walking towards Ted’s in silent agreement and quiet contemplation.

 Ted stopped outside of his apartment, “You’re welcome to come up, but I understand if you, ah, need some space. I’m so sorry, Y/N, that was… I should have controlled myself better.”

“That was probably the best thing anyone has ever done for me. And incredibly hot,” you slipped in the last part quickly and Ted smiled as he turned to meet your eye. 

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” you responded. “Makes me wonder how else you might…lose control.” You trailed a bold finger down the buttons of Ted’s shirt and watched as he blushed. 

“Well in that case,” Ted inclined his head up towards his apartment and you nodded. “I’ll do anything for my girl.” 

You grinned at that, and hooked a finger in between the buttons of Ted’s shirt, stopping him before he could walk up the stairs and pressing your lips to his, trying to impart everything you felt for him. He met you eagerly, a gentle hand to your jaw to tilt your face and properly slot your lips together. You pulled away just enough to make your way safely up the stairs and not embarrass yourselves in front of Ms. Shipley. 

The heat cooled a little when the two of you made it in the apartment, the gravity of the shift in your relationship really settling over you. But you smiled and so did he as the two of you sat on the couch, barely a breath of space between you. 

“I know this is going to sound crazy because Ben and I broke up a year ago, but god, that felt like closure. I feel like I owe you, Ted.” 

Ted took your hand in his and you met his gaze, surprised at the amount of emotion you saw there, “I love you for free, Y/N.” 

“I love you for free. Ted.”  

[ozarkthedog]

summary — after a mighty win Ted needs to burn off some adrenaline and he does so buried between your legs.

warnings — Ted Lasso x afab!Reader. pussy eating galore. oral sex on a work desk. dirty talk. coming untouched. spit play. no beta.

word count — 1.6k

author’s note — 😅 first time writing Ted. this is for everyone who loves Ted Lasso (but mostly for @sudsevans​ ily). A million thanks to @evanstache​ for the “coming untouched” idea. gif credit: @sudsevans​

☽ 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♁ 𝐎𝐳𝐳𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 ☾

𝟏𝟖+ 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲. 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈. 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝/𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦. 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 & 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝!

“Oh doggy!” Ted hollers as you walk hand in hand quickly through the nearly empty locker room. “Did you see those magnificent beasts tear up the pitch?! It was like God was playing his very own foosball match.”

“Yes, silly. I was there to witness the amazing comeback.” You muse before waving at Will who nods politely. The young kitman gathers some remaining towels and exits towards the boot room with a shout, ‘goodnight!’. 

Ted smacks his homemade “BELIEVE” sign with a thwap as he crosses the threshold into his office. Your core clenches like a vice at the sound. Oh how you wish it was your pussy on the receiving end. 

He quickly tears off his black sports coat and adjusts the collar of his button up before smoothing his hands over his gray sweater. “Man, I feel like I just ran a mile. Except my feet don’t hurt and I’m not all sweaty.” He breathes sharply through his nose as he rambles, pacing back and forth. “I mean I’m a little sweaty but not too sweaty.” 

You push yourself up onto his desk and watch him like an excited puppy. You loved when he bounced off the walls. No one does happy quite like Ted. He deserved to shine and you weren’t ever going to stamp out the light. 

But then he does that one thing that always gets you hot; comb back that flirty strand of hair that always falls out of place.

He stops mid sentence and flicks his eyes curiously at you when a low moan tumbles from your open lips at the mundane action. 

“You okay, Sweetheart? Or did somethin’ catch your eye?” He croons knowing he’s got you wrapped around his finger.

“What? I can’t help myself. If only you’d stop being so freakin’ attractive all the time!” you exclaim feigning exasperation as he settles between your legs.

Ted tips your chin up with a tender, unyielding finger and presses his lips to yours. Your lips slide over his with ease as he gets bolder and deepens the kiss. His finely shaped bristles tickle your upper lip and it makes you half laugh, half moan as he brushes his tongue over yours.

His arms wrap around your torso pressing you firmly against his heated body. His heart beats like a hummingbird in flight against his ribs, thumping wildly under your palms.

Your left panting as Ted breaks the kiss with a raspy groan. He looks behind you into the locker room for a moment and then to the left like he was weighing his options.

Ted drops to his knees in a flash and flicks his hungry yet timid eyes up at you. “This ok, Darlin’? I’m sorry I just gotta have a taste. I’ll be real quick.” His hands tenderly smooth up your bare legs and push your skirt up your thighs a few inches.

Your heart leaps into your throat at the idea of Ted eating you out in public. He was never one to do such private acts out in the open, let alone at work and on his desk. He must really be aching and who were you to let him suffer?

“Eat up.” You purr with a wink.

With a sly grin he throws your legs over his shoulder and shoves your panties to the side. You slump onto this desk like a rag doll when he slots his searing mouth over your core and licks a hot, wet stripe up your pussy eliciting dual groans from the two of you.

You whine as Ted pulls away just as soon as he began. “Honey, you gotta be quiet. I’m like 92% sure we are the only ones left in the building but you’ve gotta keep it to a dull roar in case that 8% get suspicious and come to investigate.”

You clench your jaw and nod while shoving his head back down. “Yes, Ted. I’ll be as quiet as I can. But will you?” 

His brows shoot to the ceiling. “Well, I’ll be. Are you turning this into a game?”

“You and I both know you get off on eating my pussy as much as I do. So yeah,” You shrug your shoulders with a smirk, “let's give it a go.”

His lips curl into a devious grin. “Ok, Hot Shot.” He says calmly, “Do your best to keep quiet as I make this pretty little cunt come all over my tongue.”

Oxygen is forced from your lungs by his filthy words but you gasp the air back in as he slots his mouth onto your clit and begins his sweet torture. 

Your head drops back hard onto the table but you don’t register the pain as he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit. He assaults the tiny bundle of nerves with sharp flicks and tight circles as your spine arches off his desk.

Your pussy floods with slick as he eats without abandon and swallows down all you have to offer. His hands ensnare your thighs keeping your writhing body still as he laps feverishly at your weeping core.  

He sucks your clit into his mouth, humming around the nerve filled button forcing a wrecked gasp from your lips. He strikes with precision, knowing just the right amount of pressure and suction needed to get you off. He was a man of many talents and my goodness, no one has ever been able to get you off so fast and so hard like Ted has.

Your limbs start to twitch from the hypersensual onslaught. The tingle in the base of your spine rises higher and higher until your orgasm explodes behind your eyes.    

Arousal pours from your petals as he tips you over the edge. You bite back a scream as your legs lock around his head and he drinks up the creamy spend with a deep chest rumbling growl. “You taste so fuckin’ good. I can’t stop myself.” Ted confesses as he pulls away to take a breath. The lower half of his jaw is coated in a thin, shiny layer of come and he couldn’t look more pleased with himself. 

He drags his fingers along the inside of your thigh while you catch your breath before he latches onto your swollen nub again. Your body jolts from the overstimulation as he sucks on your swollen clit like a piece of candy. 

Your nerves sizzle as the pleasure escalates to new heights and you feel yourself already in the blissful clouds. 

Your fingers latch into his auburn locks and tug as he forces another wave of pleasure out of your tired body. Ted groans from the ache in his scalp and the deep vibrations make your cunt tremble. His tongue draws deft patterns all over your drenched core before dipping into your heat and catching you by surprise.

He slowly fucks you open with his tongue, taking his time to stretch your velvet walls until your hips are thrusting off the wood desperate for more. 

He pulls away a second time with a smug grin. “You gonna be good and stay quiet? Or do I have to put my fingers in your mouth while you come on my tongue?”

You softly whimper at the threat even though you’d love to suck on his fingers. “No, I’ll be good.”

“Atta girl.” He praises before forcing your legs as wide as they’ll go and lewdly spitting on your pussy. 

Your body buckles at the shock of his spit hitting your soaked folds. It lands squarely onto your cunt and drips down mixing with your cream. “Gotta make sure this pussy is nice and fuckin’ wet if I’m gonna tongue fuck it properly.”

His mustache prickles your sensitive petals as he shoves his tongue deep into your pussy. His hands keep your thigh spread as the pleasure mounts and races steadily toward your impending orgasm.

Ted grinds his jaw firmly into your puffy core intent on tasting the deepest part of you. His tongue widens your walls as he curls and points the muscle, grunting into your heat as your arousal pours into his mouth. 

The tough bristle of his mustache tortuously rubs your clit with every shove of his jaw making your cunt spasm around his tongue as he forces you to the edge in record speed.

A scream is lodged in your throat as your peak crests and you tumble down the cliff. You grind and thrust your cunt hard onto his face as you chase the joyous high. A fresh wave of slick spills from your core and drenches his jaw as you mark him in your arousal. 

Ted makes a sputtering noise before grunting loudly, much louder than any noise you’d made the entire time.

“You okay?” You ask out of breath as you push yourself onto your elbows.

His head hangs between your thighs and his fingers are still imprinted on your thighs when you hear him mutter and curse.

“What was that?” You ask pensively as you run your fingers through his hair.

He finally lifts his head and flames paint his cheeks when he gestures down to his lap. “I came in my gosh darn pants! I haven’t done that since I was teenager!”

“Oh Ted, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” You offer as you cradle his messy jaw in your hands. “It’s rather hot that you got so turned on by eating my pussy.” 

His big doe eyes stare up at you anxiously, “Yeah?”

“Yes.” You firmly state with a searing kiss. You taste yourself on his lips and you have to press your thighs together to quell the ache.

“Now let’s get home so I can clean up the mess you in your pants made with my tongue.” You say, cheekily as you slip off his desk and fix your skirt. 

“Here.” You toss him the black sports jacket he was wearing during the game. “Tie it around your waist and I’ll go make sure the coast is clear.”

“You are a wicked and tempestuous creature. I don’t know how I’d survive without you.” He muses before tugging you into another infatuating kiss.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Ted Lasso / Reader Masterlist

FULL MASTERLIST

Tumblr & AO3 links included throughout.

* = Complete

🔥 = Smutty

Gala*🔥

Ted Lasso x Reader - You've never heard Ted swear or raise his voice ever until you're at a Gala and hear him mutter "Fuck me."

CH 1 | CH 2 (R rated)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47882647/chapters/120718417

[my-soupy-brain]

I just keep imaging Ted eating me out and being so pussy drunk he humps the bed and just cums in his jeans

This is... filthy. And I love it. I HOPE I can do this justice, because I'm not skilled at the smut but I'm gonna try because the world deserves this. Let's gooo!

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader (f)

Warnings: SMUT! SMUT!

---

Stumbling into Ted's apartment after a night a the pub with your friends was a regular occurrence.

But for some reason, he was salivating over you all night.

It might be the new little black dress you wore. Maybe it's the new bra he got a peek at when you changed earlier.

Or maybe he was just drunk on love.

His hand under the table grabbed your thigh, caressing it gently, his fingers dancing around. He moved it higher at one point, toward your growing heat, and you felt a rumble of a groan when he leaned against your ear playfully to kiss you.

On the dance floor, when you've all decided dancing is a good idea after a couple pints, he pulls you to his chest for a slow song. Only a few couples are on the floor, but you don't notice it.

You can't, not with how his hands are coasting up and down your back, over your ass.

Not with how his cock is partially tenting his pants as he does this.

Not when he leans into your ear and says, "I'm gonna make you scream my name tonight, darlin'. You're delicious."

Gulp.

Ted enjoyed freeing his inhibitions with you. When he realized how open and accepting you were of his interests and advances, he felt more confident to let you know what he was thinking, and when.

Years in a chilling marriage, where he was always "too much," made him feel like the ship of desire had sailed away.

And then you walked into his life, bumping into him at a coffee shop, literally, and he got lost in your eyes and your smile.

And over the last six months, after introducing you to his friends and seeing how warm and welcoming you are to who he truly is, he feels like he found it.

The love he always searched for.

These are the thoughts roaming through Ted Lasso's head as he holds his body close to you, as he runs his nose along your neck and under your ear, kissing you with a little tickle of his neatly groomed mustache.

So when he utters those words, you get tunnel vision.

"Wanna get outta here, baby?" you ask his lips, brushing yours gently over his. He nods, that one tendril of hair over his forehead bouncing.

"Yeah."

...

You manage to make it to the bedroom without breaking your neck.

And you say that because at the speed you kissed and tore clothes off your body, you really could have tripped. But you didn't.

So he laid you on his bed, ripping his last undershirt off so you can see the expanse of his broad chest, and that soft chest hair you couldn't wait to run your nails through.

But before he climbs over you, he nestles on his stomach between your legs.

"Appetizer first," Ted grumbles, making your back arch and a chuckle escape your lips.

That little laugh is quickly replaced with a moan, when he pulls your panties over to the side, licking a firm stripe to your clit, sucking and eating and devouring you.

"Jesus," you moan, as you look down and run your fingers through his messy hair, the lewd sounds between your legs heightening the feeling for the both of you.

And it's clearly doing something for Ted because you catch his hips gently grinding against the mattress.

When your fingers travel between your legs, and he sees your painted nails rubbing yourself, his tongue helping you, he pulls up for a moment to watch you.

He loves taking cues from how you touch yourself so he can do it for you.

"Shit, honey," he mumbles, his eyes dark, his lips and mustache wet. "Need more."

He tilts his head, ropes his big hands under and over your thighs, holding you open as he looks at you, eating your pussy like his life depends on it.

Ted's always been good at this, but my god, the man is on a mission tonight.

You writhe and scratch your nails over your thighs, your hips bucking, and he loves that.

"Ride my face, darlin'," he commands, and you do. Your breathing gets short and sharp, your eyes flutter and you start to moan.

"Yeah, that's my girl," he mumbles. "I wanna make that perfect pussy come."

Before you let yourself reach your own peak, you watch his hips grind harder. Suddenly you're both moaning.

"Ah, fuck," Ted mutters, his hips grinding faster. One hand leaves your thigh to open his belt one-handed. It's the hottest thing you've ever seen.

He pushes his pants down just far enough to relieve the straight against the metal zipper and resumes his slow, passionate hump against the mattress.

"Mmmm, ugggh," Ted moans between your legs, his mouth sucking you, licking you, then his fingers pumping inside.

"Oh, God, Ted... oh God!" you cry out, and he smirks as he keeps his own pace with his hips, his long fingers pumping inside you, curling at the right angle, and his lips latching onto your...

"Oh, God!" you cry out, your body quivering as you come. "Oh, fuck..."

As your eyes were closed, head thrown back in pleasure, he savored it, and as he watched your body writhe in the aftershocks, another move of his hips and he groans. He shakes for a moment, breathing hard against your center. You work your fingers through his hair as he comes down.

"Ugh, God, darlin'..." he murmurs, his lips pulled away, then his fingers, which he holds up to his lips and licks clean like he does his peanut butter.

When he sits up, his gray boxer briefs are wet in the front. He exudes no shame for what just happened.

"Feel good, baby?" you ask with a raised eyebrow, your chest rising and falling quickly still.

He kisses his way up your body, hovering over you.

"Felt damn good. But what did it was hearing you get off, sugar," he says with a flirty smirk, kissing your jaw, then your ear. "Hearin' you enjoy yourself always makes me come."

You shiver under his breathy words, his thick Kansas drawl crawling up your spine in the best way.

"Couldn't help doin' that to ya. You looked so goddamn good tonight, all I could think about was your gorgeous thighs wrapped around my head."

"Jesus, Ted, you trying to gear me up for round two?"

He chuckles, kissing gently, his mustache tickling your soft skin again.

"I mean, that was the appetizer," he murmurs, his lips wrapping around your nipple, kissing down your chest.

"We still need a main course."

---

I hope I did this sexy image justice, I truly do. My goodness. I just know how good Ted would be at this. I mean, we all do, right? That's not just me having those thoughts? Ha! Thanks for the prompt, friend!

[gracebutnotgraceful]

Hello! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing! I’m not sure if you are taking any requests (sorry if you aren’t) but I was wondering if you could write some pregnancy fluff with Ted? Pls pls pls

ahhh hello! thank you! hehehe this actually made me really happy to plan and write. i hope you enjoy!

lil lasso - ted lasso

pairing: ted lasso x fem!reader, established relationship

warnings: pregnancy, talks of eating/food

word count: 944

summary: you're hanging things up in the nursery when ted comes home from work. you two have a night in talking about what's to come.

“Honey, I’m home!” Ted called, presumably from the doorway. You could hear the rustling of his coat as he took it off.

“In here!” You responded, poking your head out from the doorframe. He smiled brightly as he made his way toward you. 

You don’t think you’ll ever grow tired of seeing his smile. After long days or weekends apart due to your schedules, it was the thing you most looked forward to. 

“I thought the whole point of you stayin’ home was to relax,” he murmured, pulling you into a hug and kissing your temple. 

“Oh, I was just hanging up a couple of frames! That’s not gonna hurt me or the baby. Besides, when have I ever been good at that?” You asked, leaning into his touch before flinching away. “Oooh! You’re chilly!” 

You put your hands on either side of his face in an attempt to warm him up. He closed his eyes, sighing contentedly as his hands found a place on your waist, pulling you closer to him once more. You loved these little moments you shared. 

“Now that feels nice. Can I borrow these for a few minutes?” He asked.

“I don’t see that being a problem,” you laughed. “How was the game?”

“Not too shabby. Think they’re finally startin’ to see eye to eye every now and then. How was your day? You’ve done a lot more in here than hang a couple of frames.” He responded. 

You two talked about your days as you led him to the kitchen. It had gotten late—and you had gotten too hungry to wait—so you had made him a plate to heat up when he got home. While he ate dinner, you showered off the day. He was right; you had done more than hang a couple of frames. The paint crusted on your skin gave you away. 

What you hadn’t expected upon returning to the kitchen was finding Ted hunched over the oven, pulling out a fresh batch cookies. He wouldn’t be heading back to Nelson Road for a couple of days, so he’d have no need to make anything for Rebecca. Maybe the team?

“You have to go in tomorrow?” You asked, squeezing the water out of your hair one last time before placing the damp towel on the drying rack in the hall. 

“Hm?” He lifted his head to look at you. You gestured toward the open oven door. 

“Oh! No, just felt like it was a sweet treat kinda night.” He gave you a sheepish smile as he holds a plate out to you. 

It smelled like literal heaven. Sweet. Salty. Everything you’d been craving for the last week and a half. You were practically drooling over the smell alone. 

“Oh my god. Those smells so good,” You responded, taking the plate and heading over to the couch.

“And I have something else,” he said, walking over to the door.  He picked up a bag that was just out of view. It was white with gold glitter polka dots all over it. The tissue paper poking out of the bag was bubblegum pink. There was no mistaking it as a gift from anyone but Keeley. 

“Keeley?” You asked, holding a cookie out to him as he sat down.

“Keeley.” He answered, setting the bag down on the coffee table and taking the cookie from you. “She got us a gift for this one here,” He put his hand on your stomach, rubbing gently. 

You grabbed the bag, pulling the tissue paper out to reveal a little AFC Richmond jersey. You picked it up, holding it out to show Ted. When you turned to show it to him, you noticed the lettering on the back. Instead of a player’s name, she’d chosen to write ‘LIL LASSO.’ 

“Lil’ Lasso! We’ll have to take her and Roy out as a thank you.” You beamed, folding it back up and grabbing another cookie. 

You moved to be closer to Ted, leaning up against him. He put his arm around you, setting his hand on your stomach. Neither of you spoke, just enjoying each other’s company. It was comforting to just sit and be together. 

“Are you nervous?” You asked, breaking the silence and leaning your chin up against his arm to look at his face. 

“Naw, why would I be?” He looked down at you. 

“I am,” you murmured, tracing circles on his hand. He flipped it over to squeeze yours. 

“You’re already so good with Henry. You may be his step-mom, but he loves you like he loves Michelle. He’s so excited, wanted to be a big brother for as long as I can remember.” He smiled, eyes finding yours. 

You had been worried about how you and Ted having a baby would affect Henry. You tried so hard to make sure he felt like family when he was in England. It was hard enough that he only saw his dad during the summers and every other holiday. You didn’t want him to feel further separated from his family. It was nothing short of a relief seeing his face light up as you guys told him. He had run over and given you a hug. Remembering that moment always made you smile. 

“He’s gonna be a great big brother.” You said, squeezing Ted’s hand in return as you looked up at him. He smiled down at you, a tendril of hair falling down in front of his face. You leaned away, reaching up to sweep it back into place. 

“And you’re going to be a great mother. I just know it.” He responded, pulling you back towards him.

[cevans-is-classic]

Ted Lasso x Plus Size!Reader

18 plus only, please

Warnings: Language, terrible puns, me refusing to not be in love with this man. All of it honestly.

My Masterlist, dears.

Jason and Ted

"If someone knocks on the bathroom door how do you respond?" Higgins twists his tie between his hands, his forehead covered in sweat, chest rising and plunging as he takes in quick breaths. 

Everyone in the office turns their attention towards the man, Ted's mouth opening to respond only to be interrupted by the force that was you. 

"I'm not sure about here," His eyes drawn to you, catching the edge of your smile as you leaned against the door, arms crossed, one hand moving as you talked, "But in the United States we say, 'come in.' We don't like to be lonely." Laughter burst from his chest. 

Higgins laughed along as well; Beard seemed to contemplate your answer. He couldn't see what Roy was doing, but his mind supplied him with a frown and scrunched eyebrows. The thoughts added to the laughter — your smile glowing from their reaction. 

"Look in and see a neighbor. It's the hospitality in us." Ted joked back your eyes sparking at his retort. 

"What pondered that question?" Ted aimed his attention back towards Higgins who sputtered, twisting his tie again as his cheeks flush a deep red. 

"Almost made a friend, but it went to shit?" Roy cracked. The tension building around Higgins dissolved as the group erupted into shouts in applause at the surly coach who huffed in return, "Oi, fuck off, you Americans aren't the only ones with quick wit. Shit way of living."

That set the three said Americans off. Ted and Beard mused back and forth about things back home that were questionable, ‌while Roy and Higgins seemed to wonder whether to believe what they said.

You kept checking your watch, looking back up at them anytime the conversations lulled. Ted didn't care that most of what they’d roused was bull — the way you talked with your whole body made it worth it. He could watch you for hours, hands moving, smile shining, the way your chest shook as you laughed. 

He couldn't look away from you. 

"Well fellas," You pushed off the door, "I've got to get back upstairs, but if you're still running training once Keeley and I finish, I'll come hang about." 

Higgins waved goodbye, drawing Beard into a conversation. Roy leaning in with a grunt, leaving Ted to wiggle his fingers at your departing figure.

"We'll stretch the drills just for you, darlin'!" He's not sure if you heard him call after you.

Your steps echoed down the hall — Ted's eyes tracking the swing of your hips. He wished you'd be able to stick around and talk more, spend some time with him that didn't involve questions about team branding or players' schedules. 

He bit the inside of his cheek when you disappeared from sight. Seeing you leave his office made his chest tight, but watching you walk away helped, he countered. 

-

Every Thursday at two p.m — barring an away game — you showed up at the Clubhouse with lunch in hand files for Rebecca to look over before you visit Ted and the team and watch training until you’re meant back at the office. 

Ted lives for Thursdays, wears his best sneakers on Thursdays and always — always — has a good cup of Joe with your name on it. 

You’d never favored tea since moving to Europe. Refused to ruin the idea of it here by dumping the ‌amount of sugar you needed into it. 

Ted can appreciate that. 

He appreciated all the small things the two of you seemed to share. You loved making people laugh, your own smile growing brighter anytime someone thanked you for making their day better. If you had to choose between burgers and pizza, you’d ‌combine the both and not a single person on earth could make you watch a movie with a dying dog in it. 

No matter how small or superficial the reason seemed, you ‌make others feel included, wanted to bring a smile to someone, if only for a moment. 

Ted’s honest opinion you were sweeter than a honeysuckle and the ‌type of person someone would wake up early for. 

When Thursday came around, he felt like he’d won the lottery without buying a ticket. 

He loved Thursdays. 

“Hey Lasso, how’s the goods?” The locker room was empty, the team having filed out to the pitch with Beard and Roy while Ted went over paperwork, writing in updated plays and reviewing the physical exams from the week before. 

Ted smiled at your voice, seeing you out of the corner of his eye, hoping you could see the quick smile he wore as he finished up the report he was reading. 

“A few days expired, but still good and cookin’.” With a scrawling signature, the coach leaned back in his chair and took you in. 

Which made him lose his balance and end up flat on his back, ears ringing from the collision with the floor. 

“Oh my God!” There was a shuffle, papers being tossed and a chair being shoved aside before you appeared in his line of sight, brows pinched together in worry. 

You looked far too beautiful to be real. 

“Wow.” Ted swore he knew how to breathe. 

Your brows bunched together more, mouth opening in a worried O, but all he could focus on was the light above your head. It haloed you like an angel. The white dress you wore resembles the angelic image you presented to him. Ted always thought you looked amazing — from ripped jeans that seemed a tad too tight, over worn hoodies with holes in the sleeves and jerseys bought last minute before a game to the smart, chic and professional dressings you wear around the club. He’d swore you could walk in wearing a burlap sack with an aluminum hat and he couldn’t look away. 

Right now though- 

“Ted, hey, are you okay? Ted? Coach? Come on, answer me-” You were brushing hair off his forehead, fingers sliding through his hair to touch at the base of his skull and up. Your fingers left tingling sensations behind as you felt around his head, poking and prodding until you seemed to deem him unscathed. 

Ted smiled. “Wasn’t expecting fall to come early, huh?” 

You frowned, leaning back to let him move, shifting out of the chair until he could stand up and readjust his seat. (He’d never say it out loud but his back hurt like the Dickens.) 

“Are you okay?” Your crossed arms fluttered your dress, the skirt moving around your legs drawing his eyes down then back up, landing on the flare of your nostrils and quirk of your lips. 

He was about eighty percent sure he was in love with you. 

Ted would say ninety, but ‌he — might — have a concussion and didn’t want to assume.

Maybe he should say something about the low headache forming behind his eyes. You’d, probably, run your fingers through his hair again — the light colored polish would look amazing if he held your hand. He’d be able to kiss each finger, bringing them to his lips one by one until he had you smiling and leaning in for- 

“Ted. You’re staring at me, again-.” 

He sputtered, cheeks flushing as he shot his gaze towards the floor. “What? No! I wasn’t staring - I- I was looking at something behind you!” What? 

Your feet came into view, white flats shining under the office lights, and he wondered if your toes matched your nails. 

“Honey, you hit your head hard. Are you sure you’re okay?” He closed his eyes when you ran your fingers through his hair again. When you touched the tender spot above the base of his skull, he flinched. Reaching up to stop your hand, he tangled his fingers with yours. 

Both of you froze. 

Ted looked up to see your cheeks painted pink, eyes wide as the two of you watched the other. 

“Bit tender.” He spoke low. 

You nodded, “Maybe some ice will help-” He tightened his hold when you pulled away. 

“Ted-“ 

“Will you go out with me?” 

This time you stared. Wide eyes blinking, your mouth opening and closing on words that never left your lips — Ted swore your cheeks reddened further, but you ducked your head before he could be certain. 

“I-” You swallowed, “You hit your head — the doctor should look you over-“

He saw the twitchy way you tugged away, eyes flitting from him to the floor and back until you freed your hand from his and had stumbled away from the desk, “I’ll go get him.” 

“Sugar, wait.” Ted grabbed your hand, the sudden forward movement making his head spin for a moment. He might have a concussion — this was more important. 

“Ted, you should-” 

“I’ve wanted to ask that for almost a year, I swear. I’d been reeling in the courage bit by bit and I think falling for you literally gave me the fish I needed.” 

You blinked again, slower this time, eyes going back to normal as you looked him over. Up, down, then back up to hold his stare, and Ted watched as a breathtaking smile broke out. 

He could collapse right now from head trauma and smile the entire way down. 

“You mean it?” 

“I’m deadly serious about fishing, sugar.”

You rolled your eyes, stepping back into his space to reach for the back of his head again, “I’ve wanted to ask you for a long while too — wasn’t sure I’d ever gather the courage though.” You paused, “Maybe we should get your head looked at first. In case there was damage — you're chatterer than this.” 

Ted laugher, using the moment to tilt forward. “Maybe a kiss would help?” 

A finger into the sore part of his head had him hissing, “Doctor first, Lasso, then we can add funny business.” 

Concussion or not, he loved Thursdays.

To the poor anon who requested this long ago --- I hope you find it and enjoy it! I had an unpleasant episode yesterday and as I was resting the inspiration hit me all at once.

I love y'all and hope you all have an amazing weekend

[jjsmaybank20]

𝕋𝕖𝕕 𝕃𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕠 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

✰ - Personal Favorite ��� - Most inspired for rn

Rebecca Welton

Oh, Bartender! [smut, fluff] 18+ MINORS DNI

nothing yet

Keeley Jones

nothing yet

Florence 'Sassy' Collins

nothing yet

Ted Lasso (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

Roy Kent (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

Jamie Tartt (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

Sam Obisanya (Platonic Only)

nothing yet

[ccbb2222]

Jealous! Ted x Reader Oneshot

@thisismysecondrodeo​ wrote a wonderful jealous Jason one shot, and it inspired me to take this into Ted Lasso Land. 

Summary: Ted has feelings for the new AFC Richmond marketing manager—but can’t seem to tell her. When one Bantr match gets her a little too excited, Ted finally takes matters into his own hands.

Idk, I just love the jealousy trope...what can i say?

Also I haven’t thoroughly edited, I just noticed the Ted x reader tag hasn’t been getting much love lately and wanted to add more :) 

You kind of a had a feeling Ted was into you...he definitely had his way of showing it. The extra biscuits he’d drop on your desk after Biscuits with the Boss, the smiles, the personalized jokes he always greeted you with. Yet, he would never stay by your desk to talk for more than 10 minutes, always nervously jamming his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground, and departing with a quick nod and “See ‘ya later,” directed at the floor. 

It was adorable. 

You would be lying if you didn’t want to pursue him. Sure, he was basically twenty years older than you, and yes, he did come with some baggage. But Ted Lasso was handsome, smart, and put everyone before himself. He was such a great man, he just needed...a push. 

Downloading Bantr had been Keeley’s idea. Well, a combination of Keeley and Rebecca. The three of you were closer than just coworkers, and they were initially the ones who planted the seed in your head that Ted had a crush on you. 

“Don’t you think Ted’s into you?” Rebecca had asked with a smirk one day, the three of you seated in her office on her (ridiculously comfy) sofa. 

“Hmm?” It caught you off guard. Yes, you had picked up on his uncharacteristic nervousness around you, but hadn’t paid it much attention. You were new, after all. He just didn’t really know you yet.

“Oh god, FINALLY we’re talking about this.” Keeley sat up, placing her tea on the table so she could dive head first into her analysis. 

After a thorough and insanely detailed analysis provided by Keeley (with sprinkled in examples from Rebecca), they looked at you expectedly. 

“What?” You asked, a stupid grin appearing on your flushed face.

“Are you going to go for it?” Rebecca asked bluntly, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“I mean...yes I would be down to get to know him. He just gets so nervous, I’m afraid he’ll never ask me out,” You say with a shrug. 

Keeley furrows her brows and taps her perfectly manicured fingers against the arm of the sofa. “What if we gave Ted some competition? Men love a good competition.”

“Competition? Keeley, there’s not exactly men lining up at my door.” 

“Ok FIRST off, that is not true. Roy said he’s heard more than a couple inappropriate comments about you in the locker room. He’s getting tired of  reminding the boys not to objectify women.”

You’re stunned. The players commented on you? 

“And there was one time Ted overheard someone mention how they’d like to take you home. Apparently he lost it. Gave a lecture on women’s rights and the male gaze.” 

“What?!” You sit up, alarmed. 

“Well now that we know what makes him bite,” Rebecca smirks, “Let’s make him jealous. So jealous that he’ll just have to make a move.” 

You shake your head, “You two are ridiculous.”

“Got it!” Keeley now slams her palm down on the sofa, making both you and Rebecca jump, “We’ll sign you up for Bantr, get you some matches, set up some dates that maybe you’ll actually go on. We’ll talk about it in front of Ted. Rebecca you can sprinkle in something during Biscuits with the Boss?” She checks looking at her.

“Absolutely.” Rebecca is downright gleeful. “And Keeley and I will get you ready for the date. Make you look even more beautiful than you normally do. We’ll really fire him up.”

“Well...” You shrug, a smile tugging at your lips, “It’s so crazy that it just may work.” 

Phase 1: Intro to Bantr

“Hey there,” Ted greets you with a smile, shaking a pink biscuit box your way, “Special delivery for the best marketer in town.” 

You laugh, “Thank you, Ted!” 

Almost on queue your phone lights up with a new match. You were actually quite the commodity on the app — men were messaging you left and right. 

You feign embarrassment as he looks down at your phone. 

“Oh, uh, you tryin’ that out?” He asks, hands once again returning to his pockets. 

“Yeah,” You shrug, “I’m ready to start dating again, and things seem to be slow in the real world, so I figured I’d try the digital world.” You look down, opening your phone, and laughing at a message you received. “I’m fully prepared for these men to realize who they matched with when they see me in person for the first time and leave me high and dry.” 

Ted’s brow furrows and he looks at you earnestly, “They’d have to be blind as a bat to do that, come on now.” Realizing what he said, his ears turn red and you smile softly. 

“Thanks, Ted. Hoping someone on here compliments me as well as you do.” 

He nods, looking at the ground. He leaves a moment later, a “See ‘ya” muttered at the ground, and you text Rebecca and Keeley. 

You: Phase 1: Complete. 

Keeley: HELL YEAH.

Rebecca: Debrief in my office in 20. 

Phase 2: The Match

Your phone pings multiple times on your desk later that week, and you quickly swipe open your group chat.

Rebecca: I mentioned you matched with someone during Biscuits with the Boss.

Keeley: AND? 

Rebecca: He was so frazzled. Didn’t know what to say. Played it off that he hopes this person is “as cool as she is.”

You: Things seem to be progressing as planned. 

Rebecca: He left a minute ago, you’ll probably see him swing by soon. xx

You look up to see Ted coming down the hallway, a forced smile on his face as he makes it into your office and approaches your desk.

“Morning, Ted!” You greet, pretending not to notice the change in his normal behavior. 

“Mornin’,” He says softly, handing over the famous pink box of biscuits. “How was your weekend?” 

“It was good,” You nod, fully ready to enact Phase 2, “Got some matches on this dumb app. One I’m actually kind of excited about so, that was unexpected.” You shrug, opening the box of biscuits. “How was your weekend?”

He nods, “Oh hey! Well, can’t say I’m shocked about that. My weekend was good, Beard and I finally went to the Winston Churchill museum. Lordy was there a lot to see.”

You smile at him, taking a bite of the biscuit, “You know Ted,” You say after you chew, “This may be your best batch yet.” 

“Oh come on now,” he shrugs off the compliment, “Happy you like ‘em.” 

“I do! Too much. I’ve got a date tomorrow so I need to lay off of them,” You say, peering up at him to gauge his reaction. 

His smile wavers a little bit, “Well, you don’t need to lay off anything. You can eat all the biscuits you want — ain’t no harm in that. Say, what does this fella do?”

“He’s a coach, actually,” You say, the irony of the situation is actually too much and you hide a smirk. 

His eyebrows shoot up, “Oh wow, is that so? What’s he coachin’?” 

“I didn’t ask...figured I’d leave that as a topic of conversation. You know, for tomorrow. I hate going on dates and not having enough to talk about.” You say.

He rubs his jaw, “Yeah, yeah I get that. Well, I’m gonna head down to see how the pitch is looking. I’ll uh, see you later.” 

“Bye, Ted!” You say with a smile. 

Phase 3: The “Date”

Ted looked around in disappointment when you weren’t at your desk. You were always at your desk between 930-10am, after he’d have Biscuits with the Boss. Today, you were nowhere to be found. He dropped the pink box off, borrowing a sticky note from your pile. 

Must’ve missed ya. Enjoy the biscuits — you can never have too many.

Ted

Just as Ted was rounding the corner to the stairwell he sees you and Keeley ascending from the floor below. 

“You sure it’s not too much?” He hears you ask, hesitation in your voice. 

“Trust me, he’s going to lose it.” He hears Keeley reply. The thought of another man “losing it” over you makes his heart pound and fists clench. Why was he such a coward when it came to asking you out?

“Oh! Hey Ted,” Keeley greets as you reach the stairwell landing. Ted’s eyes drift to you and you watch as they subconsciously widen. 

Keeley had booked you an early morning blowout, touched up your makeup, and found you a short but classy dress to wear to work that would serve as your “date” dress. Admittedly, you hadn’t agreed to meet your Bantr date yet...but Ted didn’t need to know that. 

“Morning, Ted,” You say smiling. 

“Uh, mornin! Look at you, all dressed up.” He says gesturing to you. 

“She’s got a hot date tonight,” Keeley smirks, nudging you for the full effect. 

“Ah yes, the coach from Bantr?” Ted asks, feigning excitement. 

“The fit coach from Bantr, yes!” Keeley says. 

Ted looks confused, “I thought Bantr didn’t use pictures?” 

“Oh,” Keeley fabricates, “I can just tell by the way he talks to her.” 

Ted’s fists clench and he unsurprisingly shoves them into his pockets. “Well now! That sounds like something for girl talk. I’m gonna head down to see the boys, good luck on the date.” He smiles halfheartedly at you. 

You nod with a smile, “Thanks, Ted.” 

“He was SO jealous,” Keeley whispers as you approach Rebecca’s office. 

“I guess,” You say, “But he still hasn’t done anything.” 

“Leave that up to me.” Keeley says, spinning around and following after him. 

Phase 4: The Push

Ted sits down at his desk with a huff. 

“Alright, Coach?” Beard asks, putting his book down.

“Yeah. No. I don’t know.” Ted mutters, putting his head in his hands. 

“Does this have to do with a certain marketing manager on the third floor?” Beard guesses.

“She’s got a date tonight,” Ted says, frowning. 

“And you’re jealous?” Beard guesses. 

“I’m not jealous. I just...she shows up to work today looking even more beautiful than she normally does. She’s putting all this effort in. And why shouldn’t she? She’s young and smart and beautiful and—”

“And you’re jealous.” Beard affirms this time. 

“Well, yeah. She’s going to go meet some guy, younger than I am, without all the baggage. What would she even want to do with me?”

A knock on the office door cuts his rambling short, and he looks up to see Keeley waving through the glass.

He waves her in, putting a fake smile on. “Hey there Keeley! Get to see ya twice in one morning. What’s the occasion?” 

She smiles, “Hi Ted. Hi Beard,” Beard nods, picking up his book again, “Sooo...are you ready to admit how much you have a crush on her?”

Beard coughs, dropping his book, and Ted’s eyes widen. “Keeley, what are you goin’ on about?”

“Ted,” she moves to perch on his desk, facing him, “We all know you’re into her. Come on. Are you seriously going to let her go on this date?” 

“Well hey, she is a strong independent woman who can make her own choices. She doesn’t need my permission for anything. In fact I—”

“Ted!” Keeley cuts him off mid speech, “You know exactly what I mean. Are you going to let her get away?”

“Keeley,” he says, finally caving to her accusation, “What would she want with me? I’m old, I’ve got a kid, she’s too good for me.”

“Ted she’s really into you.” Keeley looks at him dead in the eye.

“Oh come on now,” He’s stunned.

“Yes, you knob head. Why do you think she’s on Bantr? She wants to get someone to take her out, with the hopes it’ll motivate you.” 

Ted is floored. His jaw hangs open and he needs a few moments to collect himself.

“Now here’s the deal.” Keeley says, “She’s in her office now. She’s leaving in 15 for a lunch date. You have between now and then to stop her.” Keeley pats him on the shoulder and saunters out. 

Looking at Beard, Ted raises an eyebrow. “Better get moving, Coach,” Beard says, motioning to the door. 

Ted nods, standing abruptly and speed walking out the door. 

Back in your office, you sigh, scheduling email sends and mapping out new campaigns for the upcoming games. 

Suddenly, your office door is thrown open, causing you to jump. 

“Ted, what can I—” 

“Don’t go on the date.” He says, then looks immediately embarrassed. 

“What?” You ask shaking your head. Had Keeley actually come through on this? 

He closes your office door and moves to stand in front of your desk. 

“Please don’t go on this date. I know you don’t owe me anything, and I know I’m a coward who can’t work up the courage. But the thought of you smilin’ at someone else, laughing at their jokes, it just,” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair, “It makes me crazy.” 

You’re sitting there, looking at him, too shocked to say anything. 

“Listen, I just, I wanna tell you that I really wanna take you out. Get to know ya more than just,” he motions between himself and your desk, “Dropping off biscuits and makin’ small talk.”

You nod, still looking at him in shock.

“And I know I’m older than you are, and I know I have my fair share of baggage but, I don’t even know where I’m going with this,” He pacing now. 

“Hey Ted,” you try to interrupt. 

“Beard told me I was jealous. And I guess...yeah I guess I was jealous of whoever this guy is.”

“Ted,” You stand now, walking toward him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

He stops pacing, and looks up at you. 

“Shut up.” You whisper. He nods, looking into your eyes. “I’ve been waiting this entire time for you to say that.” 

Ted’s eyebrows raise. 

“And what I want right now,” You continue, running your hand from his shoulder to his chest, “Is for you to just shut up and kiss me.” 

“Well hell, I can do that,” he smiles, leaning in and bringing his lips to yours. 

What started as a soft kiss, grows more and more urgent as months of unresolved tension rises to the surface. You grab onto his Richmond sweater and pull him impossibly closer. His tongue slips into your mouth and you nearly die as you hear the hottest moan slip from his mouth. 

Placing you on your desk he moves to stand between your parted legs, your dress riding up and his hands coming to grab at your thighs. 

“Hey,” he pulls away, kissing your forehead. 

You catch your breath staring up at him. You’re so happy, relieved, and seriously turned on. 

“As much as I’d like to keep this goin’,” he motions between the two of you, “What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t take you to lunch first?” 

You laugh, kissing him softly. “Fair point, let’s get some lunch.” 

He smiles back, helping you up to stand. 

Heading out of your office he pauses, “Say, shouldn’t you tell your date you won’t be making it?”

You smirk reaching for his hand, “What date?”